#i don't think mental illness is fake or that people are out there just lying all the time or whatever the fuck

[watchthekittycatcher]

"neurodiversity is real" and "pathologizing random human behaviors is dangerous" and "symptoms of mental illnesses can come from chemical imbalances" and "symptoms of mental illnesses can come from environmental and schedule-based stressors" are all statements that are true

[izzyspussy]

we went over the 14yr long torture session in my last therapy visit actually, and i told her that toward the end i was fantasizing about and then actively considering walking into traffic because if i got catastrophically injured then they would have to treat my pain. and she told me that's not an uncommon thing for people to do. that she has heard that many times before.

like think about that. we are so moralistic about drug use and have politicized a particular type of medicine so much, and doctors are so uncompassionate toward and even suspicious of patients who are in pain because of it, that it's NOT UNCOMMON for people who are otherwise not suicidal to start completely genuinely longing to get hit by a fucking car just for the chance to be oh so graciously provided the absolute bare fucking minimum of care.

think about how many different things have pain as a symptom. how many things have pain as the only symptom the patient is aware of. how many of them are life or death crises. heart attacks. blood clots. strokes. bleeding ulcers. those are just what i can think of off the top of my fucking head, AND I'M NOT A FUCKING DOCTOR.

what i had, for example, feels exactly like appendicitis. and they left it for fourteen years because my only symptom was excruciating pain and i didn't fit their stupid little (completely unsupported by evidence, btw) diagnostic mnemonic. if it had been appendicitis, or anything else as immediately deadly that "just" hurts, i would have fucking died the same night i got sent home from the emergency room with "medical" "advice" to take some tylenol and rest - for the first time, that is. out of dozens. how many people do die that way?

because addicts are Bad. and because doctors are too arrogant and biased to practice medicine on the basis of evidence and informed consent when the profit model and conservative propaganda make it soooo easy to stay in the good old days of paternalism instead.

[sluttycinderella]

Razorgate: an empirical, peer reviewed study*

*there is nothing genuinely scientific about this, it is merely a result of mental illness and unemployment.

So we all saw this right?

But after this bomb was dropped I began to get curious about the other slittenings. Did they use the same razor for all of them and no one had noticed? Do they actually own more than one razor? And if they don't, if this is truly the only phrazor, then I don't think I have to tell you that raises a lot of questions.

Firstly, I went back to where this all began, Phil's Birthday stream, to identify the razor that carved the very first slit and forever cemented itself as a part of herstory:

Now that is very clearly the Manscaped logo, no question about it. Here’s a high quality photo of the logo for comparison:

(You can also clearly see in the Twitter post that it says "Manscaped" across it but I like to double check my work and I also wanted to prove that they were both Manscaped)

And it's a good thing I did double check because OP made a CRITICAL ERROR in their post! They claim that the razor in question is the Lawn Mower 4.0 when in fact it's the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra! Unlike the PUNY, PATHETIC, UNMANLY 4.0, the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra comes with an interchangeable foil blade, a USB port, and a more advanced spotlight!

How could OP be so careless? Dan and Phil would never own an outdated razor! They require only the finest in ball shaving technology!

Also fun fact: The first appearance of the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra on the Manscaped YouTube channel falls right in between the dapg return announcement and their first video back so make of that what you will...I for one shall be sculpting my own hill out of the very earth itself, "Manscaped Sponsorship Hill", I encourage you all to join me.

So after spending far too long researching the intricacies of razors that shave an organ I don't even have, I now needed to check if it was the same razor being used in every slittening:

Here they are side by side for comparison, left is Phil’s birthday, middle is the We're All Doomed post-premiere, right is Dan’s birthday. Now it appears the WAD one is missing the logo but I'm going to go ahead and chalk that up to the poor quality of the clip I found (if anyone has a better version PLEASE hit me up so I can confirm my hypothesis). And considering the photo taken in the aftermath seems to show Phil holding the 5.0 Ultra:

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's the same thing.

“But,” I hear you shouting, “so what if Dan and Phil used the same razor for all the streams? They already said they only owned one razor so who cares?” Well this isn’t so much about proving that they’re the same razor as it is establishing a baseline. It’s hard to trust basically anything Dan and Phil say lately, what with piggate and the “pillow” bar and the fake view from the Phouse, knowing that they aren’t lying about only having one razor (to the best of our knowledge) is crucial in figuring out what exactly is going on. Remember, we’re doing science here.

And with that in mind: In my professional opinion, I can say that for all three slittenings, the Manscaped Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra was the weapon of choice.

Sidenote: I went down a bit of a rabbit hole of Manscaped reviews during all of this and apparently Manscaped razors are kind of just a scam. This razor is $109 and they try to trick their customers into subscribing to their "Peak Hygiene Plan" which you don't actually need by offering a deceptive discount and hiding the terms where people aren't likely to see them. So yeah, fuck Manscaped and I for one think we should cancel Dan and Phil for not ethically consuming under capitalism.

But that's beside the point, we know that they indeed only have one razor and that that razor...is for balls. What does that tell us?

Conclusions

There are a multitude of conclusions one could jump to in the light of such a revelation, I shall display them in a convenient numbered list for your viewing pleasure:

One of them prefers to use straight (lol) razors to shave their...you know...I don't actually know if this is a thing people do or if it's even possible, people with balls please sound off in the comments, thank you

Only one of them actually shaves in which case I support them as an infamous pussy hair enthusiast (iykyk)

They share a razor (Please, God, no, that's actually disgusting)

Either way, this thing was on someone's balls and then it touched both their faces so I really hope they cleaned it properly!

Alright, so that whole exploration may have been a bit useless, it indeed only confirmed what we had already been told, but I spent literal hours comparing photos of ball hair trimmers and I'm not one to admit defeat. Consider yourselves peer reviewed, Dan and Phil, and maybe check out Beardscape instead! Apparently they have better, more comprehensive razors for the same price.

If anyone even more demon than me has any corroborating evidence (maybe of them using straight razors at any point or anything else razor related that they've said in the past) please let me know so I can take it into consideration! Thank you all for your time.

[knivpojke]

When a content creator you like is outed as someone who's done harm/something bad, it sucks!

Your first reaction is usually thinking "Is it true?" or blatantly deny it because you like what the creator put out, especially when they're mentally ill and make something you find relatable to your own experiences.

When TWO people come out about it, and more provide eye witnesses to the account, with evidence, and you decide to not even look into it? Then stay out of the conversation. This place isn't for you.

If you decide to become a part of the conversation, be sure you examine EVERYTHING properly with a critical mindset for both sides. Who has more evidence? Who has counter evidence? Who is just talking out of his ass to make you hear what you want to hear?

With the case of Andreas and Sani, if this were fake, Sani would have been bored of this by now. I've made a post saying something along the lines of "Be careful around Andreas, minors, because he could groom you next" and I got a minor saying "I sure hope so!" and that is the very attitude Andreas fans have that I've personally witnessed.

Sani and Yulia are trying to warn people about what Andreas does with his reputation. He needs to take accountability for his actions. He needs to apologize.

Andreas has tried saying Sani admitted to lying, which was itself a lie. Then he said he's not accountable for his actions because he was under the influence, which is an admittance of guilt, and still should be held accountable.

And now he's copypasting a string of useless words to let everyone hear what they want to hear "Sani is just trying to ruin my reputation." FOR WHAT PURPOSE?? He's saying he's not transphobic despite him telling me he will only use someone's correct pronouns if he respects them, which is still transphobic. He says he's not homophobic but drew Purnell raping Simon as a respinse to people wanting gay characters in the game, which is homophobic. I could go on, but the evidence is there already, look at it.

And if you don't want to look at the evidence, and stay in your special little bubble where everything is right with the world and people who have an ounce of power don't abuse it? Then stay out of the conversation. This topic isn't for you.

You all complain about "everyone being outed as abusers" till your dying day but this is the harsh reality we live in. There's more shitty people as your neighbors than you'd think. EVERYONE IS CAPABLE OF DOING SHITTY THINGS. Even me, even you.

Fuck man, he released Sanis nudes, ssn, and other personal data to his discord. That's revenge porn, and shitty in of itself.

Sani WANTS to go to court, and has reported Andreas for stalking and harassing multiple times, but they've given up on it ever coming to pass, which is why there's so much evidence out there.

If you're new to the conversation, brush up on your history, you're in for a ride.

Yulias story

Sanis story part 1

Sanis story part 2

*edit: I'm not saying you can't interract with cry of fear content. Just think critically of the creator.

[thecorvidforest]

I have had a situation recently, and I would like your advice on it. I run a gaming discord server, with private servers for a few games. A streamer joined who claimed to have DID. They seemed to flaunt it all over their streams, seemingly very attention seeking. This, to me, seems likely to be fake, but I am unsure. Can you give any input? I don't want to have someone who makes up mental illnesses, discrediting those who actually have them, around, but I also don't want to falsely accuse someone.

sure, i’m happy to give my input, but it might not be what you’re looking for. you seem to have good intentions and this isn’t meant to bully or shame you at all, i just want to gently push back on this a little bit.

i personally believe there is never a good enough reason to accuse someone of faking a mental illness, especially something like DID/OSDD. there is no reliable way to spot a faker, and accusing people of lying does far more to hurt the community than faking does. let me explain.

some systems like to talk about their experiences, some don’t. same goes for anyone with any condition. talking about one’s plurality frequently is not automatically them flaunting it, and it’s certainly not grounds to assume they’re faking. plurality informs one’s entire life, we should be allowed to talk about it without having to worry if we’re being perceived as attention seeking.

here’s the thing. it’s wonderful that you want to help protect people who have DID/OSDD from people who might be faking it and i don’t doubt for a second that your intentions are genuine, but accusing someone of faking based on how you perceive them will do far more to discredit them than someone who’s actually faking it.

because here’s what’s going to happen if you remove them from your space because you think they’re faking: everyone around you who may be a closeted system - or even just anyone with a highly stigmatized disorder - is going to know that your acceptance of them isn’t based on their self-report, it’s based on your own perception of their symptoms. they will no longer feel free to be themselves, because showing their symptoms comes with the risk of being kicked out. you’ll have effectively made your space less safe for people with stigmatized conditions. and for the accused person, you’ll have removed them from a space that’s meant to be safe and completely invalidated their lived experience based on them choosing to speak about said experience.

on the flipside, let’s say they are faking and you do nothing. most likely scenario, they’re attention seeking and using DID to get the attention they want. what ends up happening most of the time is the person faking it eventually gets tired of the harassment and of having to keep all their lies straight and they stop.

of course lying about an already stigmatized condition for attention is an awful thing to do, and i’m not defending people who do it. what i am saying is that it is far less harmful to accidentally include a liar than it is to exclude someone who may or may not be lying with no way to know for sure if they are.

TLDR: whether they’re faking or not, them talking about it isn’t a reason to assume they are. and regardless, it’s always better to assume they’re telling the truth.

i hope this helps! we had a few switches in the middle of writing this so i’m sorry if the phrasing doesn’t flow well lmao

[shitty-proendo-blackout-posts]

you are the same as sysmeds??? fakes. unreal. you think you're real but you aren't. endos don't exist and never will. you will never be considered real to actual traumatized people. you can't make fun of sysmeds when you yourself are fake and lying to everyone, convincing them that you're deeply neurodivergent when you're probably a mentally ill person with only depression and anxiety and the only way you can "cope" bc you think you're so traumatized is by pretending to have DID, which you don't have, never will and no doctor will ever diagnose you unless you blackmail them. fake AF

you are real. you're real but you aren't wearing sunglasess.

_

are you okay?? -heizou

bold of you to assume we're even wanting a diagnosis. also, we're medically recognized as autistic so i don't think its just anxiety and depression lmao -august

let me guess. you're struggling to get a diagnosis and decided to take it out on some random person on the internet? there's better ways of dealing with anger than projection, you know. -roulette

[sophieinwonderland]

Going Deeper Into Imitated DID

Imitated DID is a hypothetical condition where patients supposedly experience symptoms of DID due to iatrogenesis or social contagion.

Now, as a tulpa, I of course am certain that it's possible that believing you have alters when you don't and repeatedly interacting with them could make somebody plural. So I wouldn't normally say the possibility is completely baseless. But many of these cases they're talking about are cases of people with actual histories of childhood trauma and symptoms of DID that go far beyond simply having headmates.

There are significant flaws in this "research" that need to be called out.

Right from the start, this headline hints at the real purpose of this paper. It's about protecting therapists from lawsuits over false diagnoses.

Right from the start, the paper makes it clear that their hypothetical Imitated DID isn't recognized by the DSM. The DSM acknowledges intentional factitious disorders where symptoms are forcefully manifested, and malingering.

Imitated DID, where symptoms are unconscious, is a condition made up by these authors.

So what are signs of Imitated DID?

Well...

If you pay attention, you'll notice some of these are redundant.

Highly dramatic presentation/exaggeration

pseudologia fantastica (also known as pathological lying)/persistent lying

lack of consistent work history

"la belle indifference" (a lack of distress)

selective amnesia

There are some pretty big flaws in this.

As acknowledged in the earlier quote, there are many cases of DID with "flamboyant" presentations.

A lack of consistent work history shouldn't be an indicator of a disorder being fake in people with severe mental illnesses.

DID often compartmentalizes stress, meaning the current fronter may not be distressed at the moment while other alters are.

And telling clinicians, essentially, to suspect patients may be faking because they're seeking hospitalization seems like an EXTREMELY dangerous practice.

Basically, the biggest sign that DID is imitated, according to them, is that patients are ashamed of having DID. I think The Plural Association's article did a good job at breaking down the flaws with this mentality better than I can so let me just link to that:

The use of shame as a criterion for diagnosing a mental health disorder is deeply problematic and raises significant ethical and practical concerns. At its core, this approach implies that people with genuine DID must internalize negative societal attitudes – such as pluralphobia or ableism – in order to be recognized and validated by the mental health system. This not only perpetuates harmful stereotypes and stigmas but also places an undue burden on people who are already grappling with complex mental health challenges. Shame is a deeply personal and subjective emotion that can be influenced by a myriad of factors, including cultural norms, personal beliefs, and past experiences. It can also vary between Headmates. To use it as a diagnostic criterion risks pathologizing normal emotional responses and invalidating the diverse experiences of people with mental health conditions. Moreover, it can discourage people from seeking help, as they may fear being judged or misunderstood based on their emotional responses. Instead of relying on shame as a diagnostic criterion, mental health professionals should strive to create an environment that fosters understanding, acceptance, and validation. This involves recognizing and challenging societal prejudices, such as pluralphobia and ableism, and advocating for a more inclusive and compassionate approach to mental health care. It’s crucial to remember that mental health disorders are not a sign of personal failure or weakness, but rather, they are complex conditions that require empathy, understanding, and appropriate care. And as Brene Brown explains, in order to empathize with someone, you must be willing to believe them as they see it, and not how you imagine their experience to be.

The only thing I'll add is that being less ashamed is a natural response to feeling less alone. As plurals continue to gather and support each other, there will be less shame for symptoms of switching and voice hearing.

People in the LGBT community are much more confident coming out today than they were 50 years ago as stigma has been fought back. Likewise, people who have talked to other systems and heard their stories will feel less ashamed than someone who is completely isolated.

Quick reminder: While people may not like the idea of having DID as a whole, not all symptoms are viewed as bad. For example, in a comparison with Schizophrenic voice hearers, it was found 69% of DID systems said they would miss their voices if they were gone.

Presenting a black and white narrative that paints any systems with a positive outlook towards aspects of their diagnosis is not only problematic, but actively contradicts the science.

Back to that one flamboyant presentation of DID though...

That number seems shockingly low and should be an immediate red flag. Only 1 of their group of 71 they judged to have "genuine DID" showed overt symptoms???

Or... this is a matter of biases of individual clinicians, and what one considers to be dramatic presentations may not be what another considers to be dramatic presentations?

It seems almost dishonest how they ignore the existence of this sort of bias while looking for environmental factors.

But that would mean admitting that the "imitative DID" hypothesis is based on the subjective opinions of clinicians that's being treated as fact.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but hysteria was already outdated as a term and considered offensive and sexist by the late 90s, right?

Alright... let's get into the Borderline patients.

There are even more issues here. Take this, for instance:

Some of them are involved with drug or alcohol abuse.

How many? How does it compare to the "genuine DID" group? Some is a weasel word with no significance that could lead to patients being ignored just because they use drugs or alcohol.

As most people know, self-medicating with drugs and alcohol is common in trauma survivors.

And I want to point out that BPD has a high comorbidity with DID. So how do they go about differentiating BPD imitating DID from "genuine DID" with comorbid DID?

And finally... the part about the child alters... just really sounds made up. There are not a bunch of people out there using child alters as some sort of metaphor for a lost childhood.

If you're wondering... the article gives no further details on how to differentiate these internal representations from "genuine child alters." It's just a mystical skill you gain from experience, I guess?

If you read this and are remembering how one of the common features in imitated DID was supposed to be exaggerated and dramatic presentations, congratulations on paying attention and applying your critical thinking skills! 🏅

Is it expected that people need to dissociate during the interview to have their symptoms believed?

Anyway, this goes back to the selective amnesia claim from the beginning. One huge problem I have with this is that if you had a small system with one overzealous protector or a persecutor, it would make sense to switch and have amnesia for those moments specifically. Those alters are likely the ones with poorest communication and strongest dissociative barriers.

The first case study for this presentation is a woman they call Sandra. The paper details how she had a history of trauma, prostitution and drug use. It goes on to say her main support came from a "much older boyfriend."

The whole thing comes off as weirdly sexist, stopping just short of calling her a slut and gold digger. It culminates in this line.

And at this point, I'm absolutely livid.

The clinicians looked at her history, and decided that the DID was likely imitated BEFORE THEY EVEN OBSERVED HER.

I cannot stress how problematic this is for their study when they're admitting to this sort of bias from the moment a patient checks in.

I wonder if her case would have still been deemed groundless if this had been published first, and it was known the clinicians were biased against her from the beginning.

To me, this reads as if a group of doctors were seeking to prove a hypothesis of "imitated DID." They need to find patients who they can use as examples. Then this woman comes in with a lifestyle they dislike. They immediately judge her on her history, and are then able to "confirm" their impressions of her after observing her.

It feels incredibly slimy and unethical.

And I of course have more concerns with this.

Voice hearing is a very common experience among DID systems from a young age, as are abuser introjects. And imaginary friends lasting until adulthood is generally uncommon in singlets.

Were these imaginary friends and voices always there or did she invent them after hearing about DID? If they were always present, that should be researched more carefully.

When they say she "attributed" her negative behavior to the angry imaginary friend, are they meaning the voice is telling her what to do and she obeyed, or does she actually feel like she becomes that person as is indicative of a switch? It's never explained, but I assume it's the latter. And it's concering that OSDD (DDNOS at the time) wasn't presented as a possible explanation for the perceived lack of amnesia.

Even if the voices weren't fronting, this might be enough for a Partial DID diagnosis today.

And her amnesia "feeling like denial" is, again, the opinion of one clinician or group of clinicians treating her. If another group of clinicians observed her, would they have drawn the same conclusions?

This is a woman who had childhood trauma. She seemingly had multiple "personality states." She heard voices as is common in 90% of DID cases. She experienced DP/DR. She reported amnesia, even if the psychiatrists dismissed it as denial.

As far as I can tell, the ONLY reason for denying the diagnosis is that it was originally suggested by a DID patient who recognized similar symptoms in Angy.

That's it!

It feels like what really led to the denial of her diagnosis was pure ego. Not wanting to admit a DID system was capable of recognizing traits of their disorder when psychiatrists had previously missed them all.

This is where I'm leaving off...

There's more to talk about in this paper. SO MUCH MORE.

But this post is long enough as it is.

I'll try to come back and take on the rest of the pseudoscientific mess later, including the part where they discuss how they want to apply this theory to protect therapists from legal damages. For now, this is where I'll leave you.

Thank you for reading.

Continue to Part 2

[heartshattering]

No but seriously how do I start to put myself back together again?

It's so difficult for me to even think of where to begin

I've heard the most basic thing you need to fix is sleep but that's the #1 most difficult thing for me. I wish I could sleep naturally again but ever since those 2 weeks without my refill, I've been needing my sleep med more than I did before when just last month I was doing fine on a very low reduced dose and didn't need it every night.

My eating has been bad, idk how to explain it exactly? But I've been getting more cravings for the foods that I know are going to make me sick later. Like most of what I want to eat now are foods I'm really not supposed to be eating because of IBS but I do it anyway and make myself sick all night long. I'm going to end up destroying my digestive system, if the shitty food doesn't do it then most likely it'll be from taking NSAID meds when I'm not supposed to and just all the other stupid shit I keep doing to myself.

I hate the way my body looks now, but I really don't want to go back to being underweight after all the work it took for me to get better. But I feel like I'm going to slip back into my old patterns thanks to stress and feeling the need for control when I feel so helpless right now.

I really don't have a support system because neither one of my parents can really help... like my dad just doesn't get it, and my mom is the sickest person in the house so she deserves all the attention. Everyone in my family is either dead, mentally ill, or physically ill.

I found out my so called best friend was using me this whole time and her true colors only started to show once she got her bf.

I never accomplish as much as I want. I'm sick and frustrated all the time.

Yeah, I have started to slowly leave the house more, but I'm still like 95% just a shut-in. I feel like I'm lying to the people I meet because I bet they wouldn't think someone who seems as "sweet" and "friendly" as I try to be has done things like s-h, been on so many meds, hurt myself, has a false DUI charge, had a nurse tell me my only future is to either end up dead or in jail, hates my fake friends and have a lot anger towards people in general, overuses caffeine even though i have a heart condition, have all these past traumas because of S-A, death, abuse, and other shit that never got resolved because they're "too much" for medical professionals to handle. God I just hate myself and it's getting harder and harder to live like this, I'm really slipping and spiraling and there's nothing I can fucking do about it except pray that I can sleep.

[adhbabey]

I think it should be stated that crazy conspiracy theories, while dangerous in their own right, and is probably littered with dog whistles, that many of the people spouting out these conspiracy theories are likely experiencing delusions or hallucinations, and that cannot be stated enough.

So I highly recommend people notice the signs of whether or not someone is experiencing a delusion or break in reality, instead of immediately trying to go off on someone in this mindset.

Here are some common red flags that I notice, that sounds suspiciously like a delusion:

Fearing the government or think the government is secretly out to get them. While our governments can do horrible things to us, all in the name of national security, I see this as a red flag because its often random people in question. It's usually not someone who has done anything to warrant such fear. Just some guy in his basement or a random person online. You don't know these people, but I doubt a secret spy would be this paranoid or neurotic about something like this. It's a big red flag if they mention that the government is secretly out to get them.

That this world is a simulation or somehow fake. If this doesn't trigger you and you experience DPDR, you are a strong one. Unreality is a common trigger for many delusions. The idea that we're in a simulation or it's just like the matrix is just false information, and something spoke about for fun, like science fiction. But if someone is seriously telling you that we're all in a simulation, I'd see that as a red flag of a delusion. It's triggering, even for me.

The idea that pigeons aren't real and are drones of some kind, or that the government is planning to microchip us through vaccines or something. The idea that you're being spied on through secret cameras or that it's like you're in the truman show, or you're going to be experimented on because vaccines give you microchips.. These are all signs of paranoid delusions, and one of them is called Capgras syndrome. It is the delusion that your loved ones are all somehow replaced by imposters and it's pretty damn severe. I would take the idea that everyone is somehow spying on you, a pretty good sign that it's a delusion.

And there's so much more, but I recommend people just researching into other symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia, and be aware of what that looks like. It's important to be educated on this stuff.

And please, don't go out of your way to reality check them or to argue with them, that can often exacerbate or worsen the symptoms, sending them spiraling down into an even deeper delusional headspace. I know the idea that I'm somehow lying or delusional tends to send me into a paranoid headspace, so don't do it. Don't argue with these people, just stay away from them.

And yes, it's common that a lot these things are jokes or memes or just a part of popular science fiction culture, but be aware regardless. You don't know if someone's actually being serious or not. And whatever you do, don't call a stranger you don't know, "delusional", these are just red flags and signs, not automatic reasons that someone is experiencing a break in reality. You don't know them, so just be cautious.

And yeah, a lot of conspiracy theories are anti-semitic, or racist, or ableist, or whatever. But that doesn't cancel out the fact that many of the people in question are also likely mentally ill. It doesn't erase the fact that normal every day people are also mentally ill. Negative or problematic behavior doesn't erase the fact that someone can experience delusions. I'm not excusing that behavior, but I am saying to be more cautious and critical of the fact that half of this stuff sounds like a mental illness.

TLDR; It is important to be aware that several common conspiracy theory buzzwords are red flags of paranoid delusions, and this post lists out some of those red flags in details. Don't reality check anyone, or you could make it worse, just be cautious and disengage.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Really hate how fragility has become a virtue. No one wants to toughen up and learn to healthily handle negative emotions or physical hardships. Instead the first sign of adversity is a sign to give up. Actually, it's even worse than that. Because the adversity is greeted like an old friend. Too many people these days want to be disadvantaged, or oppressed, or threatened. So much so that they'll pretend minor inconveniences are Life Threatening Trauma because trauma is now an all purpose shield. Oppression is an all purpose shield. Illness, mental or physical, is an all purpose shield. The people who throw the loudest tantrum are the ones who get coddled the most. That's why certain people scream racism when they get called out on being assholes. That's why certain people scream transphobia when they hear an opinion they don't like. It's because the culture we have now in the west is all about wildly exaggerating problems and being overtly performative about how we "solve" those problems. It's all a show. You're all performing your roles perfectly. And don't you dare think otherwise. You are a performer. Even if you know you're faking and you think you're directing your own show, you're still the performer. But do you wanna know who is directing?

Politicians and the billionaires you claim to hate along with the media who enables them.

Because this society benefits them the most. Yeah, sure, you guys can get a few people fired for expressing an opinion and you might get away with some shitty behavior before your friends and family get wise to you and stop wanting anything to do with you, but that's all you get. And the trade offs?

You have zero ability to be self-sufficient. And I'm not talking about living off the land like a pioneer here. I'm talking basic life skills like cooking and talking on the phone and having manners and holding down jobs and making a budget.

You're scared all the time. You think everyone around you is out to get you unless they loudly and constantly proclaim that they aren't. You think death and assault is around every corner and the only way you can ever feel safe is to give up your rights to the very same people who are lying to you to make you afraid.

You can't make friends with people who aren't exactly like you. You're stuck in a a constant negative reinforcement of every single bad habit you've developed. You've alienated everyone in your life who isn't as bitter and scared as you are.

You refuse to improve your life because if you get better or more healthy the broken people you surround yourself with will turn on you and cast you out.

And it's so ad, because it's actually so easy and satisfying to take control of your life and stop acting like a toddler who got his sucker taken away. Imagine if you didn't have to be scared in a room full of strangers because you knew you had the skills to make polite small talk. Imagine if you didn't have to get mad at every little thing because you have perspective and can realize when things are important and when they're not worth getting upset over. Imagine knowing you could survive unexpected hardships that might come your way because you've done it before. That's what growing up is. And that's what you lose when you insist on being perpetual adolescents. And then, suddenly, when the politicians come around and tell you you need to give up your rights so they can solve all your problems for you, you can say, "Why should I give up anything to you when I can just solve my problems on my own?"

You can take the power back from the people you say you hate, but still rely on to be a surrogate parent. You can live a happy life even if you have to work and struggle and face adversity. Hardship builds character, but only if you have any character to work with. Don't spend your whole life relying on people who don't give a fuck about you as a person to keep you safe and provide for you. Because I promise you, they have zero interest in doing either.

[breaking-binary-system]

Hey to all the systems out there....can we quit this bullshit fighting that's going on between everyone? The one where if you express being a system the "wrong" way (in-sys relationships, at least finding the positives in being a system, whatever the case is) then it automatically means your faking The one where if you claim to be a system online then your thought to be a teenager faking and if your an adult your seen as a sad pathetic person There are bigger fish to fry when it comes to ACTUAL problems. It shouldn't matter who's got what kind of alter and "oh my god how many of them aren't introjects how many are" and bullshit like that. We have more important problems. I mean honestly, this shit is why a fucking psychology textbook has to put that DID is alleged. That really there's no backing to it. It's why there are legitimate therapists, psychologists and psychiatrics that don't believe DID is real and that it's "just an overactive imagination". How about for 5 seconds we stop trying to tear each other down on what's "real" for a system. Yes, this is a covert disorder. Yes, it's rare. DID is diagnosed in 1.5% (according to an article last year by the National Institute of Health) of the population, a really small number compared to other things. However a lot of other things are only in 1.5% of the population.

1-2% of the population has red hair, it's within the same range as DID. You don't see people trying to fake claim red hair. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, this is the population percentages for three disorders

Schizophrenia: <1%

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: 1.2%

Borderline Personality Disorder: 1.4%

All 3 rarer than DID and yet there is not as much fakeclaiming going on (even with OCD though there is, of course, for the people who also claim to have it because they like things neat and that's it). Does this mean everyone who claims to be a system online is? No. Hell it doesn't even mean everyone who's diagnosed is. Professionals get shit wrong and it's okay to be diagnosed with or say you have the wrong thing. It happens, it doesn't mean someone's trying to be attention seeking or lying to take advantage. For some people who self-diagnose wrong (or hell even it's happened for professional), they could be in a delusion. They could honestly just have coped in ways that make them think they have DID/OSDD. (This isn't saying everyone does I'm using very general terms)

Really this is just to say (Because I've seen it on EVERY side of the debate), let's quit the fucking system fighting for 5 minutes. Try to focus on important shit, not "oh this person says they have it and claim to only be 15" and instead "hey we're being considered faking it by a fair amount of professionals maybe we should try and quit making it easier for them to assume so".

[theressomethinghappeninginparis]

All I can tell you about the next rooms I've been in is that I'm glad someone, probably Trent, was here before me. He could have cleaned up if you ask me, I haven't eaten enough to throw up, I just rush through the rooms and almost run in hopes of finding a safer place. Everything here is dead, sliced up, shot, or mutilated. I found a first aid box and took some painkilers and gauze bandage in case I accidentally hurt myself on anything here, literally no space in here that looks comforting and safe.

Transcript of the first page: This gummy cell had a dead guy inside, lying in his own blood. He had a number on his back- there were so many people down here, I wonder how no one started missing them? Or was someone looking for their friend, their relative? They had corpses in the morgue, laying on a metal table. It was freezing in there and creepy as fuck. The blood was dried and I didn't dare stepping in further.

Transcript of the second page: Further on I found dead inmate and a soldier(?). Someone want amok in here. Or did someone start an outbreak and thus the police or a private security group was involved? There was also a room with tubes similar to the ones I've seen before. But the things swimming in there were men(?) and I think there were horns(?) on him...ist this one of the nephilim I heard being talked about? Are these poor inamtes stripped of their souls and used as bodies for the nephilim? I wish I knew. Or. Think of it. I'm glad I don't.

Transcript of the third page: I came even deeper into the complex, downstairs, and I found this. I'm not sure what it is, it is hanging above a pit I couldn't look into. It's so deep into the ground I can't believe it's part of the sanitarium in the first place. When I went up a ladder, I saw this open door- I think due to the electricity that someone cut someone or something escaped. Let's hope it's not the Proto? What else could they have been keeping down here?

Transcript of the fourth page: My fake Strahov-pass got me into the files on the pc I found in a lab. I had to shove...the scientist a bit to the left. They talk about inmate number 42 and his medical record. They put him through so much, but why? There are mentions of "Proto cells", if this is the angel of death the inmate talked about? The horns I saw on the bodies of the bodies in the tubes were non-human. Not completely. If this really is the "Proto Nephilim" I pverhearf on the conversation, what would they do with its cells? I have an assumption, but I need more research. I think they want to revive the Nephilim with human beings...yeah what the hell.

Transcript of the fifth, sixth, and seventh page: Here's some papers I got for inmate number 42. I printed these out to take them with me. Does anyone know what is going on here? The man is named Hassan Ahmed Emin, and the doctor writing this is Melinda Everst. He speaks Turkish and needed a translator here. He reports restlessness, stress due to driving at night, fear of darkness, and feelings of loneliness. He has two allergies and then they list hsi current medications. They talk about giving him Proto cells, metallurgy on his hed, a lobotomy, Christ all this is so insane. So Eckhardt's fanclub is taking reandom people no one's missing and trying to revive the Nephilim so he can finally stay immortal? He is a rather skinny man and lost his weight in here. His history also includes seizures and neuropathy; lots of bone problems, and mental illnesses. His reports on his quality of life are high, but his emotional and physical well being is low.

I am continueing my walk through this mess and it's getting colder. I hope I'll come across a living non-hostile person soon, the loneliness is really creeping into me. There's another lab I can go in, but right now I'm resting again, hiding in a cell with a shelf I shoved in front. I really need this- this institute to have an end, I need some sunrays and, at some point, my old life back.

[primeministerofantarctica]

A3! reading club: prologue

Starting off with a prolepsis is a nice technique, although I think it's interesting that only Harugumi gets spotlighted here. Probably to avoid spoilers from later troupes.... Either way, I love how Sakuya's observations serve as an introduction to the other members. Masumi's cool-headed, Tsuzuru won't rest until his scripts are perfect, Itaru's anxious about pulling this off successfully (he does care :')), and Citron's a man of mystery.

I never really thought about this before, but I like that the prologue establishes that Izumi has the experience and knowledge necessary to qualify as a theater director. She's not just diving in headfirst with no idea what she's doing.

Also, this whole "street act" thing sends me every time it's mentioned. Veludo Way has to be a tourist destination, surely Izumi's not the first person to freak out over someone faking an illness. You know those horror stories about comedians dying of heart attacks on-stage bc the audience thought they were doing A Bit; this seems like a disaster waiting to happen. What if you got into an argument with someone and a bunch of strangers started clapping.

At least Tasuku's nice enough to come over and make sure Izumi's alright. He's not going to be really relevant for a good long while, but we're already establishing that he does care about other people, despite Godza's "every man for himself" culture.

Oh, Tsuzuru, just be glad you're not a college student in the US. >_>

Sakyo, you JUST recognized the first and only person you had a crush on, the daughter of Yukio himself, and you're telling her to get lost? Why? Are you trying to save Izumi from the heartbreak of caring about something futile? Because if so, you absolutely suck at it.

Izumi's reactions are the best. Also, shout-out to Sakai-san for being able to pull off "bad at acting" without dissolving into the 100% flat monotone typical when actors try to play bad actors. You can tell Sakuya's trying, but his pauses are placed just randomly enough to be awkward. From an acting standpoint, that's got to be incredibly hard to pull off.

This makes me wince. In retrospect, it's so obvious how much Sakyo cares about this theater. He was willing to pause the demolition project for the absolutely miniscule chance that Matsukawa had somehow, miraculously, secured a bestselling performance. Of course he hasn't, but the fact that Sakyo was still willing to give him one more chance speaks volumes.

Unfortunately, he's also a realist, and he's right. People love touting "hard work" as the only thing an artist needs to succeed, but without money, most people simply don't have the financial stability to really dedicate themselves to their craft. It's harsh, it sucks, and it's unfair, but it's also true. I don't remember if we get Sakyo's backstory in the main story or a later event, but going off it it makes sense that this is the additude he's adopted.

This hits harder after finding out Sakuya basically ran away from home :(. Not like he couldn't go back to his aunt and uncle, but that's got to be crushing.

I love how Izumi is mentally pspspsing Matsukawa SO HARD to back her up, just like he did with her earlier. There is a single braincell ping-ponging between these two and Sakyo's just watching this trainwreck.

Sakuya's reaction to Matsukawa saying he cooks all the food is gold. Ofc he's too polite to say it outright, but the fact that even Sakuya feels the need to warn Izumi about Matsukawa's culinary skills is just. So funny.

Speaking of which, I think it's interesting how Sakuya's (known optimist and sunshine child) first reaction to realizing Izumi was lying is a despondent "Does that mean the troupe is going under after all?" He immediately cheers up and snatches the smidge of hope offered to him, but this little piece of character writing goes a long way in setting up his hopefulness as something that isn't based on naivety.

I'm running out of screenshots and too far in to consider making another post, but gosh. Masumi, I love you, but you are making it REALLY easy to remember why I didn't at first. I will concede that his blushing and not being able to look Izumi in the eyes is cute, though. If there was more of that and less of...this, I might have warmed up to him a lot earlier.

Also, Tsuzuru agreeing to join after finding out there's free food is an absolute Mood. Five minutes of screen time and he's already a voice for college students everywhere.

The last few minutes are pretty much what we'd expect - Tsuzuru (very conveniently) says he's a scriptwriter, Izumi eagerly accepts the free labor before he can join a union (I'm joking, I'm joking.), they run back to the theater and Sakyo says he'll give them one more chance. The conditions won't be revealed until the next chapter, but it really is a testament to Sakyo's love for Mankai just how lenient he's being. A month might be cutting it pretty close when prepping for a play, but Sakyo's a debt broker in the freaking Yakuza, and almost definitely acting as a middleman between this company and someone higher up. Ofc the Yakuza here are a lot more lighthearted than the ones in real life, but that's still got to be incredibly risky.

[autisticlee]

i've noticed that there's always a lot of discourse about trying on labels like for sexuality and gender for example. people saying if you dont know, don't claim am identity. people complaining about people using labels lying and being fakes. complaining when someone changes their lable/identity.

you even see it in conservatives who whine and cry about gender and sexuality saying stuff like "you can't know that yet/you're too young/what if it changes/you can't just decide now and change later" and seeing queer people say the same things can be super discouraging and alienating.

because the thing is, humans do change. It's a natural phenomenon we can't do anything about. it's perfectly ok to feel one way now and then realize you feel differently later on. it can be because life experiences changed who you, or you realize/discover something, or etc.

also, how will someone know who/what they are without trying things out to see what fits? to see what feels right? not everyone just KNOWS who they are or what they want or how they feel automatically. telling people they can't experiment to see what works does nothing but alienate them and make them feel even more lost and alone.

i know it's a bit more of a touchy and difficult subject and im debating adding it in, but I see a similar discourse for example in the autistic community where people try to gatekeep the identity for only "officially diagnosed" people. (I was trying to think of something else that's not only gender/sexuality because my whole point should apply to more than just queer identities but this is all I could think of atm) i've seen it in other communities as well (mental or physical illnesses and disabilities and stuff for example) you have to relate to an identity basically, in order to bring it to a doctor. usually a doctor won't just say "oh you have this!" on their own; you have to tell the doctor "I think I have this" and sometimes it takes you years of research to figure out things yourself (because we all know doctors can be useless at times) by that point, if someone is putting that much time into a thing, there less chance of them faking it. if they think they have a disorder like DID but don't, then they still need help. but there shouldn't be so much aggression towards people who get evaluated or reevaluated and realize they were wrong. it's actually ok to be wrong and correct yourself later, contrary to popular belief. 1 or 19 or even 100 people being wrong doesn't mean we should let that reflect on *everyone* and let people with ill intent call everyone a "faker"

even if it turns out you were wrong, there's no real harm in trying on things until you reach a final conclusion. it's other people's opnions and reactions to it that are the harmful part.

[imagine if you had to guess what clothes and shoes would fit you, look good on you, and feel good without trying them on, you have to decide on one only, and then you have to keep wearing only those clothes and shoes after that and can never change out of them. that's so silly, right?]

sometimes you have to make guesses about your identity first and get confirmation later. sometimes you guess that you are a cishet man and date a cishet woman and realize a few years into the relationship that you are actually a trans lesbian. It's perfectly fine and normal to change after some time! we all need to not gatekeep and instead support each other. accept each other either way.

if someone feels they are trans for years and transitions and then realizes they are actually nonbinary and maybe slides into a more androgynous state or even stops transition or detransitions, don't call them fake! if someone is aroace and then starts dating, realizing they felt that way due to trauma in the past but were able to heal from it, don't call then a fraud! if a lesbian falls in love with a man and realizes she's actually bi, don't say she lied or tricked you!

yes, I know that there's often stigmas and stereotypes about changing. the whole "it's just a phase" thing for example. or accusing people of "following a trend." and the whole fact that the phobes always try to force their harmful belief that these identities are a "choice" and "choosing" them is wrong. change can mimic "a choice," but change does not always equal choice! someone changing does NOT always mean they are choosing something different. many times in life change isn't a choice!!! the fact that reflects poorly on the lables/communities by those who already have a bias against them is what needs change.

but that's the thing. that's precisely what i'm saying. we need to break down those stigmas around change. so what if it's a "phase" ???? why can't someone have an experience for a short time and then change it later due to whatever reason or circumstances? why can't someone try something out and then realize it's not right later on? why do we have to decide on a label or identity for life while still trying to figure out who we are? why is someone naturally changing or realizing something about themselves considered lying and fake? why do we let other people's bad opinions create stigmas and stereotypes around everything and then let that dictate everything we do? instead of gatekeeping and hurting potential new community members, why can't we break down those stereotypes and stigmas instead? instead of shaming people who try out your lables, why not shame and demonize the people that throw stereotypes and stigmas at you just because someone else is trying to figure out who they are still????? why let haters dictate how you treat others?

choose the right battles. fight the right people.

[katyspersonal]

I am feeling so ill. My mental pain keeps translating into physical one, like something that keeps poisoning me from within, and it can last from very morning to very evening at times. I wish I stopped being reminded of the backstabbing, of how much that person has been lying to us, and how she threw away her empathy and common sense in an instant, as soon as she got enticed with the prospect to feel like a """victim""". When everything was explained and even forgiven prior.

For a Christian, she sure is a terrible one, and really should pray to her God for forgiveness. Because that's sin of vanity if I've seen one. Her sorry pro-lifer ass that can't even use they/them pronouns because it is "not correct in English" and has been following Mico herself before he deactivated must be satisfied with people around with whom she has to censor her true opinions, I suppose? She had all context, she had explanation and apology, she faked having accepted that apology too, lied about not really caring about the "drama", faked patience and lied about always welcoming me back - only to latch at the first chance to backstab me and my friends she got. And the way she conveniently ignored how I took my words back, too.. I don't know what is WRONG with people who think that when a person that has been stalked and harassed for a year lashes out upon feeling threatened - they've shown their """true face""". Nobody is more alien to normal human emotions and reactions than Americans. I guess for them you are either physically incapable of anger, fear and fucking up OR you are a vile dangerous monster.

But the real question - what did she want to ACCOMPLISH? She didn't really feel like a star and gain sympathy like a victim of the """horrible mistreatment""" that me lashing out when she defended my STALKER was - that I also TOOK BACK. From my knowledge, she kept herself anonymous. And of course instantly blocked me, because like a coward she could not answer for her lies. She also lost other friends too - one HATES liars and hypocrites more than anything, another has similar emotional problems to mine so no longer feels safe, third straight up was harassed by that person as well.. "They are still lovely people" she says. And I am not a "lovely" person, of course. Because "lovely" people just smile and shrug off being stalked, harassed and talked untrue shit about for a year, I suppose? Because "lovely" people don't become clingy for someone defending them so loud and proud?

My only theory is that she just secretly harbored hatred towards me all along but was forcing the facade of patience and understanding, until one day finally came what looked like a good justification to drop it. But then why sending me all that emotional support when I fell for suicidal road back in spring? Why write at least two essays to Alfred-chan about her right to interact with me and about how I deserved kindness and compassion? Why acting flattered when I said I loved her (platonically) when in reality she was creeped out? Why bothering to explain me how she did not blame me and always would welcome me back in the blog? Following me for a decent time and all that interacting. Was feeling like a poor victim that fell under attack of the "monster" for like 5 minutes without even revealing her name to the world and losing more likeminded people worth it? Was it worth it? How? How mad you should be at someone for getting attached more than """acceptable""" and for lashing out before learning why you'd defend someone that harassed us, that you'd resort to backstabbing and break all your prior promises? She even told me stuff like "ratting someone out is very condemned in my culture and I'd never do that". Then what DID she do, when she showed the moment of weakness I had 40 days ago, to a deranged ableist that has been condoning harassment and canceling for hell knows how long and she could tell wished me harm?

I want to ask whether it was worth it, but clearly she didn't lose anything of value. One of those "but internet connections are not REAL uwu" people.

I so badly want to say that this is my fault for trusting someone who is not only American but also a Christian, double combination of hypocrite and all you know. Because I just want to find a reason. I want to know WHY, even if the answer is something as shallow as nationality and religion. But this is just not fair to people who are one or both of these things but have common sense to not lie and not be cut throats. I guess the real reason is that some people are just too easily enticed with the chance to feel like the "good" guys, to mark category of people that do not deserve any empathy, human bonds and understanding because they are "evil and dangerous". It is just easier. You feel justified to mistreat a certain category of people because they are "bad" - all while the criteria for why they're "bad" is growing progressively absurd. But this coming from a person that preached kindness and acceptance. Yet she sided with the people that punish me FOR having shown that kindness and acceptance to someone else, and never intend to stop. Why following Mico yourself, then?

I have no skill of forgiving people that do not feel remorse, I am not that kind of a person. It just hurts until I forget or find another thing to worry about. I don't know where to turn to, what superior power to pray to for faster healing from this, because betrayal like this is the worst thing you can do to me. It is fine to refuse to forgive someone's mental breakdown, but why not tell me off in private? Why run under the skirt of the person with bad faith that only supports neurodivergence in the form of being quirky about one's special interests and not for what problems it really brings? Does she really think it is victim's fault when they develop bad trust and abandonment issues upon a creepy stalker trying to ruin their life? The cunt would've doxxed me if they could only over the fact that I said I was gonna reblog from who I want - again, something she herself kept getting harassed over. So was that okay, then? She never meant her words, then, and only flexed her "I interact with who I want" for weird flex of herself as a hero, and not for our friends group?

Well, yes. It has to be that. Until she saw an opportunity to switch sides and find a more compelling "enemy" to stand against. The final punch in the gut is that she assumes my friends are okay with the betrayal either, just goes around as though nothing happened, as though having betrayed someone and still writing them down as vile and unremorceful even after they apologised to her two times was nothing. Yeah, why? If a person failed to meet her personal mark of forgiving, tolerating and shrugging off harassment - then they deserve to be backstabbing and thrown to those cultish ableists. That's her logic.

And I just want to vent all this in a sorry effort to remind myself: "See, she is so petty and callous that she doesn't deserve crying and hurting over! People like that are below you, Kat, just forget it and move on!" But in the end, I just can't stop asking myself why. She did not feel like that type of a person. My other mutual also said it was not expected, since she had that 'wise', thoughtful exterior all along and acted as though she was trustworthy. At this rate I was right in my accusation of her being brainwashed, I guess... The only thing I was wrong is the TIME when it happens.

[figure-that]

Troy Watts

Troy WATTS I guess this is name I was dating this guy for 4 years & he lied about everything. I mean he liked to express himself a lot to me but 99% of the time he was lying. I mean I tried to make it work made a lot of changes within but then when I met his creepy wife because of all the harassment she did because of her husband Troy Watts not wanting her. She ran me off and I definitely ran away fast. Idk but she definitely reminds me of Fred from courage the cowardly dog. Is it my fault that ur vagina is dead Crystal Watts? How can u get mad @ me for making your man happy? I never met a woman I mean I never met a wife who wants another woman to make her husband happy & cry about it. Idk what was this guy's intentions but I definitely glad I Departed. I mean I was holding so much in I mean yes he was giving me what I want but I met him as the guy he is and that is a trick. I can't say John because he became controlling and toxic like a narcissist. Yes he would gossip so much like a female I had to question him and ask him do you ever gossip about me. The other girl in the picture supposed to be his cousin but he gossip so much when it comes to his store The Nipsey's Corner. He told me that she steals and her family was still money from him but he would never mention nothing to them about it. I would even have his wife on the phone Tell Troy have his so-called family wasn't doing nothing but using him. As you can see in the picture she is all smiles but believe it it's fake. I mean the bags under her eyes I just knew I would not last in a secret relationship with her husband because I did not want to look like her. How do you supposed to be in your 40s but look like you're in your 80s? Troy is Crystal your wife or your mother? See the thing is I am too honest for Troy Watts he is confused and think like the weave in his head. He was so abusive physically just because of me being honest. Why send your ugly wife I mean you're ugly dead looking wife in your confused I don't know if I want to be a man or a woman cousin to come jump me when you know I don't mind fighting but why I can't be one-on-one? You send people to my house when you know I know everything about you everything when it comes to your house your properties and even your store. I am going to let this go that's why I put this out on the blog Troy Watts you are the misery and I will not ever in life become your company. I mean I was stupid in love but I knew I was done when I seen how you were so open even open enough to be on a gay app looking for a man. I do not ever want to be with a Gemini. June 6. The guy I was talking to before made a fake page about me saying that I have AIDS. I mentioned this to Troy Watts and then he did the same thing made a fake page and put it on Facebook saying that I have AIDS. Guess what his birthday is June 6th also. Troy Watts even mention how is friend Rick like to get his ass ate. That even made it weird for me because I'm like why are y'all having conversations about getting your ass ate. But I'm sure that's what his wife do eat his ass because she's always in it. I will never forget when I was in his black Cadillac truck getting my p**** ate on the grand opening of his store. The grand open of his store was him and his wife anniversary. When she seen me and found out what we was doing she had a mental breakdown in front of his family and customers. I knew the end that she was washed up and desperate and the only way she was accept love for someone to cheat on her like her husband does now. Everybody either love or learn and in this situation I have learned my lesson. Never to trust a married man especially like the confused one. Mentally Troy is ill. Physically he is living off his wife name that's the only way he is making it. When I told him I was going to start a business he told me to find a Caucasian person for the face that's the only way my business would grow. Time will tell but this guy know I was silent and the greatest to him but on top of that God know how true my love was for this man.