#i don't have a job yet.
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#update for the mutuals I gues.#it's 1:17 am#I've been writing letters every day to my dead bf.#trying to keep busy#trying to be okay.#sometimes I am! sometimes I feel fine.. other times I just CANT and that's okay. I am in therapy about it.#therapy is great I love my therapist they rule#i don't have a job yet.#I'm bouncing back and forth between my parents' houses.#that part sucks. I'm not a fan of that. and as we all know: Christmas is coming.#I'm not ready to do Christmas without him you know? I'm just not. but I will. I will do Christmas because Christmas was important to him#my forehead healed up okay. can't feel shit above my left eyebrow tho cause the nerves were severed.#I've read one book on loss and grief. it was good. helpful. I don't know if I can bring myself to read more of them? not right now at least#anyway. that's all.#Oliver
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I hear a lot of talk about how Hollywood isn't comfortable with showing romantic relationships, interracial or otherwise, without a white person involved. But I'm not sure that fans are actually comfortable with that either? And I don't think they're comfortable without a significant white (white male specifically) presence in their favorite genre shows.
#i'm not trying to start drama but i'm hearing some takes on gen v twitter that are making me not know how to feel rn...#like we have a show that doesn't go out of its way to center white men too much and yet i sense they wish they would do it more#and like#why?#because the combo of cate emma and sam can literally do the job of whatever new white character they think would add something to the cast#if you need a nice white character to be a man for whatever reason then maybe watch the boys? you'd probably like it. i do.#dm me if you're curious i guess but again i don't want drama and i don't want to automatically think the worst of people
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The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS#WE CAN’T KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS#(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct#IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different#like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs#ugh#he must have been TIRED do you hear me#even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but#she did seem sleepy#okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean#actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it#HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn#I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh#merlin#bbc merlin
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One of my perhaps unpopular opinions is being a full-time at-home caregiver (to a parent, a child, whomever) should absolutely be considered work and should absolutely be paid like having a conventional job.
Giving caregivers the financial stability and freedom to live as independently as possible is important, especially in terms of being somebody's caregiver. Both the carer and caree deserve to be stable, independent, and have their needs met.
#politics#us politics#i think it's very precarious to rely on one income in the sense of financial abuse#i for sure don't think this is a universal solution but i also don't think someone should be fucked over because...#...being a carer isn't a 'real job'. what the fuck is that line of thinking#caring is *the* full-time job. it's incredibly demanding work and so many places are... expecting that you can do it for free like#that's fucked up to me#it's great that *some* states have compensation for caregivers. it's not enough. yet.#i don't know why but this has been bothering me for literal weeks now
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yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason
side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.
and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.
#I had a longer post w more bullshit in it but ukw nobody's even gonna read THIS one. so.#dumb ass cunts seriously LMAO just the individualism of it all....#we're all just selectively forgetting that most people join the military straight out of high school / after failing to kickstart#their lives so they don't know shit yet and they are categorically not educated and don't have money#you NEED money and have been groomed by recruiters ALREADY into believing this is#The Best and Only to make a survivable amount of money without a college education-- bc they can't afford college btw#and they don't want to take on student debt either bc everyone already knows what a big fuckeroo that is#recruiters WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO JOIN. they will KEEP CALLING YOU. they'll answer your questions#to make it sound like this is going to be a GREAT life decision. you can get all KINDS of jobs (true)#they love to say the thing about how only about 15% of the military will actually see combat in any way#they love to list all the jobs where you will literally just be working at an office or a pharmacy or in tech etc etc etc#the recruiters are offering housing healthcare steady pay and BONUSES if you sign on for longer.#so you let your guard down because you were so scared of the actual fighting. BECAUSE YOU'RE 18 IN THIS SCENARIO BTW.#you cunts will not meet anyone who hates the military as much as people who are NOW DONE working in the military#you don't know enough when they get you and then either you stay placated by the benefits or you scramble away as fast as possible#the number one military haters are people who know what goes on bc they already did it#source: I LIVE NEXT TO A MILITARY BASE LMAO PEOPLE HATE IT HERE!! they are NORMAL PEOPLE#I need you to get it into your head that the people committing atrocities in war were NORMAL when they joined#and that for every person in the military who's actively shedding blood there's 20 who do PAPERWORK#and they both are being put in the same category by you!! and they are BOTH being controlled by the same system!!#sergle.txt#I hate yall I really do.
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#dungeon meshi#laios touden#art#kabru of utaya#delicious in dungeon#I NEED TO PUT LAIOS IN MORE SITUATIONS!!!! (minimum wage jobs)#he just started this job. new enough so no tan from being in the FUCKING 110 DEGREE HEAT OUTSIDE RAHHHH#it's early in the morning. not sweaty yet.#a week down the line and falin is sneaking sunscreen aloe vera and topical ointments from med school and making him use them every day#he's wearing that silly little paper hat hehe#either that or the baseball brim with the big ass hair pins??#sorry. Laios has been assigned Californian in this art. I'll see Kabru as like. a college student from the east coast or w/e#I don't have the skill/energy to match my art perception at the moment. I hate cars. but have this please.#I will Try doing more environments. god backgrounds suck ass so hard :( but I want to try for The Fixation#he! needs! to! be! in! more! minimum! wage! jobs!#josie muses#my art#fuckin. I'll tag the food chain. god knows we never stop yapping about it.#in n out
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Hey um can everyone please send good vibes or magic or prayers or whatever it is you do my way? My dad and I REALLY need good paying jobs right now and NO ONE is hiring us.... no one will even get back to us and we're getting kind of desperate.....
#i don't usually ask for help and i can;t ask for money cause no one has any or enough#but please send all your Good Vibes and Luck my way I REALLY need help finding a job here#the whole point moving here was to have more job opportunities and yet....#i need a desk job that is close and pays well and will hire me like yesterday#and isn't going to tear my mental health to the ground like teaching did
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Winter Sun 🌤
companion piece to Winter Moon! I've been using VR & AR headsets to create paintings you can walk inside of - you can see more of this series in my Immersive Painting tag ✨
#art#3d art#artists on tumblr#video#art video#process video#art process#vr#virtual reality#ar#augmented reality#figmin xr#sun#mandala#landscape#nature art#ok one billion tags are over#i've made a ton of these now but don't have video of all of them yet#i am attempting to learn the meaning of 'director' in my job title via actually directing video production#instead of trying to do everything myself#my new year's resolution is to figure out how to take it fucking easy lmao
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I like your style. I should listen to you...
...
-Tim
#i actually don't have a job just yet but i am definitely looking#my savings will only last me but so long#and i dont like just staring into space all day like i am now#ask.txt#mh#tim wright#marble hornets#afterlife au#slenderverse
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Y'all I just watched Jaiden Animations' video about learning she has ADHD and man... some of that stuff just hit me hard. The having to tie yourself down to work, the being relatively okay in school until college, the wondering if a doctor would just say, "It's a you problem, go away"—geez that resonated. I'm glad she finally got a diagnosis and Adderall and learned how to work best with herself though! I hope things start to turn out better for her as time goes on
#mann though#like good job Jaiden!#but oof I might have to try and push for a diagnosis myself#I was just gonna wait until a major burnout or something (horrible I know but while I'm under my parents' insurance they'd want some obviou#evidence - plus they're in the camp of thinking “it's just me”#since my mom has similiar problems and uses calendar apps and “discipline” and “organization” to get by)#but actually dang#I might want to hurry that process up#adhd#autism#(since she's also autistic but we don't talk about it [yet?])#jaiden animations
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Gnawing at the bars of my cage wondering what personal hatred Olivier is referring to here.
Does he mean hatred is "the reason he's standing here now" as in it's the reason he's reached his current point in life? The reason he's stayed with the chasseurs and become a paladin? Or does he mean "the reason he's standing here now" as in the reason he's still alive?
He brings up his own relationship to hatred in the context of people clinging to it for their very survival, but he also dismisses his own feelings as "trivial," so I can see an argument for either way.
Olivier sees himself in pre-trauma Astolfo, which means he must have grown up relatively privileged and comfortable. The tiny glimpse we've seen of his childhood seems to support that. What desperate straits did he end up in that forced him to rely on hatred? Was it despite or because of that privilege? Despite or because of his involvement with the chasseurs? He doesn't seem that intense in his hatred for vampires (not relative to some other chasseurs, anyway), and we've yet to see him express particular dislike for anyone besides when he got into a fight with Gano over cruelty to Astolfo, so it could be almost anyone that he's talking about here.
I was never that interested in Olivier before these chapters came out, but MAN I'm curious about his history now.
#I've been stewing on these thoughts since 59 came out and just never got around to posting them#I think I've seen someone theorize before that whatever he's referring to here has something to do with him threatening to quit#if roland didn't wake up that time he was injured#and whether it's a direct causation or just two symptoms of a complicated relationship to his job. that would be REALLY interesting#but I don't think we have enough evidence to say for sure that that's the case yet#so we're (I'm) still just stuck here wondering#vnc#vanitas no carte#the case study of vanitas#vnc spoilers#olivier#olivier my beloved#olivier of obsidian#english major hours#ID in alt text
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IF NOT IN LOVE THEN WHY COLOR COORDINATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#i've decided aun is actually divorcing from his wife but he hasn't said anything to ton yet because he doesn't want to bother him with this#can't believe they had THEE ROMANCE right here and they didn't go with it#it's like directors see normal 30-something-years-olds with normal jobs trying to navigate their normal life and say mh no that's too boring#IT'S NOT!!!!!!!!!!#I PROMISE YOU IT'S NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!#i promise you you don't always have to put crazy mafia bosses where they don't belong just to sell a more 'adult' relationship!!!!!!!!#normal dudes with kids are just fine!!!!!!!! INCREDIBLE EVEN#anyway. god please at least give me the poly im begging#the rebound#the rebound the series#aunton#m: txt
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Okay, now vote for her.
For months US pro-pals have been protesting. Now you have a presidential candidate on your side! Trump expressed his strong support of Israel, Kamala hadn't, so don't fiddle up and vote for her!!
Make no mistake, I am Israeli and I know Trump would support my country more strongly, yet I feel undoubtedly in favor of Kamala. I'm still the me who grew up leftist on tumblr with american friends, I care for the US, I care for people's lives generally, and whatever good Trump would do for me, he would ruin doubly for you. The damage he did in one run to the western world...
If hating Israel is what it takes to get dumbasses to vote for the candidate who would care about the environment, provide healthcare and promote human rights, then so be it! Just stand up for your values and fucking vote, because if trump wins this round, to me, that would be so pathetic.
#Leftists pls do your one job and vote#If you cared enough to protest please care enough to vote#People's lives are at stake#Your own#I don't want to see america burn#Please save yourselves#If you can't even save yourselves then what can you do#Americans go ham over another countriy's fued yet won't even vote for their own leftist candidate just because she's a woman?#You have to win this election. Your vote is your greatest strength#Your vote is worth more than any amount of time you spend protesting#If republicans win this election. It'd be only because the left failed to do anything worthwhile#That would make it even clearer how all the antisemitism was for nothing#At least do this for the world
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There's a certain CCCC summary video that we really, really like. We think it is a great video for people if they want to grasp the story more clearly, if they're confused, or if they're listening to the album for the first time.
That video being Chonny Jash and the Weight of the Mind on Youtube by W3tBl@nk3t. We think they cover it really well.
However, I'm sharing this for a different reason; they say few certain things that really struck with us until now, that I'd like to share with the fandom. Sometimes, we see people really just.. Miss the point of CCCC entirely, and I'd like to shine a light on what was said here. If you'd like to hear this for yourself on video, the timestamp is 35:57-36:45.
“..I bet we all could relate to that, they are the prime example of the side of you that suffers and the side of you that hates yourself for suffering:
The side of you that just wants to slow down and feel everything even to the unhealthy extent of not being able to do anything else(1), but also the side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it(2).
Sure, laying in bed all day every day to rot isn't healthy, but neither is boiling things down and invalidating your own emotions. Both are paths to inevitable disaster, and that's what Chonny is doing here. Keep in mind that the idea behind this album is being whole, and that means neither of these sides are entirely in the right or the wrong; this album is about inner compromise and acceptance(3).”
1.) The side of you that suffers; Heart. He is representative of Whole's emotions, he holds them. Your emotions can go haywire, especially when one's mentally ill and has no way of their feelings being validated. An emotional person like Heart suffers under the weight of crushing, devastating feelings. He wants to feel things out, have time to just process everything, even if it takes them days or weeks to get over it. It's not healthy, but feeling is what he does, and he wants to help because he knows he has importance. Solely focusing on just your emotions isn't the best thing to do, however.
2.) The side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it; Mind. Many people have been there, have wanted themselves to stop wallowing in their own emotions and just do something else, even to the point where you think feeling things out is unnecessary. This is also unhealthy, but not intentionally. Like Heart, Mind just wants to help, everything he does is in best interest. This is what he thinks will get them to move on the quickest; to leave behind emotions and focus on anything BUT that. Also not the best thing to do.
3.) This album is about inner compromise and acceptance; About being whole. Neither of Heart and Mind are right nor wrong. They have their own ways of doing things, of what they think will help their whole self out the most, but both are unhealthy despite the good intentions. They fight over who's wrong or right, when they shouldn't even be doing so in the first place. It's your thoughts against your emotions, basically; your feelings contradict your thoughts, and it leads to an inner war of sorts. This won't make things better, which is why you can't have Mind over Heart or vice versa; you'll need both of them. In the album, they are only able to be whole when they get along. They harmonize, they 'combine', they see eye to eye with each other and work together instead of fighting over and over. Inner compromise is achieved with this, and acceptance can lead them away from any disaster that there's to come.
What we're trying to say is that mental health is a large thing tackled within CCCC, and yet we see a lot of people who overlook it; thus, end up missing the point of the whole album. We see a lot of people believe Mind's perspective a little too much and treat Heart quite harshly, or the other way where people demonize Mind and say that Heart is perfect, when it's not really that in the slightest.
This is not a hate post towards people's interpretations of CCCC or how they view characters, I'm just saying that people can tend to overlook what's in the very narrative, and we see a concerning amount of people do such.
Anyways. Stream CCCC and put your Hearts and Minds in the get along shirt. Have a nice day.
#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cccc#cccc heart#cj heart#cccc mind#cj mind#mind chonny jash#heart chonny jash#I did not mention Soul once in this post. I am so sorry to all of the Soul enjoyers#whole was technically mentioned but this is not about him. so sorry to the Whole enjoyers as well#we rreally really really like this CCCC video#a lot#it does a great job at explaining things and is fairly good for an unbiased telling of the story#to reiterate though this is not a hate post#it's just a bit frustrating to see how many people say that mind is right or heart is right#but no.. that is not the point of cccc#and it's even in tse as well. the line 'neither is right yet neither is wrong'#personally we are big fans of heart and will defend him since he gets so mischaracterized#but we know and acknowledge that he isn't 100% correct and can be wrong for what he wants to do and has done#we love Heart but he did not have to pull that gun.#also. more justice for characters who make mistakes but aren't automatically super evil because they're just human.#we've seen how people lack that understanding in the fandom </3#hmsw are so incredibly flawed in a relatable way with such good writing#we feel like people overlook that so much#this post was scary to make but#we're doing it#here goes#CxC rambling and yapping#we haven't posted purely text posts in a while please don't come for our heads c4 fandom
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#heatmor#extra angle?? under the cut?? i guess???#this thing is some kind of fucking creature i have no idea how to Begin to front-face this thing#i don't think either of these are it but to be honest i don't think this creature even _has_ a face?? it's just a nose#and its eyes are. elsewhere#the nose rater is gonna have a field day with this one#also i just checked the queue and apparently this is going to post on the day of my commencement for college#so. the day i'm graduating college forever. i'm not going to commencement but by the time this image posts#if i don't have a job yet then i'm gonna be Very Scared
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But is packing three books enough for one week?
#hilary for ts#i will be working 9 hours a day for 7 days straight grading exams#and i have to work at my regular job in the evening#yet i am still here like “should i bring MORE books for going out of town for one (1) week”#hmm dilemma#i don't think i need *more* but i feel like 3 is the minimum to be safe
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