#i don't have a job yet.
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#update for the mutuals I gues.#it's 1:17 am#I've been writing letters every day to my dead bf.#trying to keep busy#trying to be okay.#sometimes I am! sometimes I feel fine.. other times I just CANT and that's okay. I am in therapy about it.#therapy is great I love my therapist they rule#i don't have a job yet.#I'm bouncing back and forth between my parents' houses.#that part sucks. I'm not a fan of that. and as we all know: Christmas is coming.#I'm not ready to do Christmas without him you know? I'm just not. but I will. I will do Christmas because Christmas was important to him#my forehead healed up okay. can't feel shit above my left eyebrow tho cause the nerves were severed.#I've read one book on loss and grief. it was good. helpful. I don't know if I can bring myself to read more of them? not right now at least#anyway. that's all.#Oliver
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I hear a lot of talk about how Hollywood isn't comfortable with showing romantic relationships, interracial or otherwise, without a white person involved. But I'm not sure that fans are actually comfortable with that either? And I don't think they're comfortable without a significant white (white male specifically) presence in their favorite genre shows.
#i'm not trying to start drama but i'm hearing some takes on gen v twitter that are making me not know how to feel rn...#like we have a show that doesn't go out of its way to center white men too much and yet i sense they wish they would do it more#and like#why?#because the combo of cate emma and sam can literally do the job of whatever new white character they think would add something to the cast#if you need a nice white character to be a man for whatever reason then maybe watch the boys? you'd probably like it. i do.#dm me if you're curious i guess but again i don't want drama and i don't want to automatically think the worst of people
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The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS#WE CAN’T KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS#(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct#IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different#like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs#ugh#he must have been TIRED do you hear me#even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but#she did seem sleepy#okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean#actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it#HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn#I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh#merlin#bbc merlin
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my thoughts on peterrose in season two + predictions for season three
i want to preface this by saying that i ended up enjoying season two wayyy more than season one, and i think it came down to the bigger complexity of the storyline, the unpredictable alliance switches and twists, and the depth with which the afterglow of peter and rose's experiences and relationship in season one was handled. this season's focus on angst and exploration of the psychological impact of the work on both of them and what it means for their relationship really elevated the love story for me from a pretty clean-cut "us against the world" vibe to the messiness of both of them being used to blackmail the other and their relationship straining because of the secrecy around the missions and the contradictions of rose feeling safe with peter but being constantly endangered by his work and peter needing rose around for his peace of mind but rose suffering psychologically from her proximity to the morally grey aspects of his work. chef's fucking kiss where's the next course
peterrose things i loved in season two + development from season one
rose having the option to leave anytime
while in the first season both of them had little actual choice about whether to stick together or not, circumstances that created a kind of bubble around them and aided the romance, this time around rose could have backed out repeatedly, making every time she chose to stay a decision that had as much to do with peter as with the help she thought she could give to the investigation. not only was she there at the beginning to help him gain some trust in people back and make sure he didn't steer off the ethical path, but later she also discovered for herself that even in the thick of danger (the party, the air vents situation in the last ep) she prefers to try to help rather than back away. it's a mode of thinking that will definitely lead her to sharing some of the danger of the job longer-term if the show lets her explore it.
closeness without labels
this is one aspect that i thought was handled with so much care and delicacy in a way that felt very satisfying to watch. they haven't seen each other in ten months, but she still has scores of photos saved on her phone (the show could have easily gone with one selfie, the fact she was always showing a different photo really shows they dated for a while before his posting, and were happy enough during it to constantly take pics) and doesn't hesitate to ditch her job and track him into danger because she's worried sleepless about him. she doesn't hold not calling her back over him even though she's clearly hurt about it because she knows it's out of his control, but he still apologizes and makes it clear again and again how thankful he is that she's there and how she's helped him both emotionally and logistically, like with noticing an attacker or planning the party heist. even as he wants her to leave to be safe, he doesn't make her feel like she's intruded or endangered his mission, but follows her advice and always gives her credit when she contributes to the work. they're comfortable enough with each other to cuddle and hug and kiss spontaneously, but they never discuss exactly what kind of relationship they're in because it's obviously a closeness both of them enjoy and initiate and they care more about being together than giving their relationship a label or discussing a future together at a point when he's so involved with his work and she's still sorting out how she feels about it. she doesn't pressure him about quitting and he doesn't force her to stay, he notices whenever she's upset and talks things out with her, and gives her space to process her feelings even if it means she might realize she's better off out of his kind of life. they both try to give the other whatever they might need in terms of emotional support and space to change their mind, even if that contradicts what they each would prefer the other to do or want or if it would result in emotional pain for them personally.
domesticity
i was absolutely treated to this trope this season. sharing clothes, him casually bringing her drinks while she's working, buying her food and knowing her preferences by heart, all the little jokes and fights that just made them feel like a family throughout the season. it shows clearly that their dynamic goes beyond needing each other in dangerous situations, that they were having a swell time just teasing each other. it's a quieter dynamic than the previous season, because they're both more aware of the constant and repeatedly chosen danger of the situation that is now a way of life rather than a crazy few days before things would go back to normal, but it's also more profound in how it acknowledges the trauma while showing they're still really compatible in the little safe haven of their nights at home.
partnership
they really felt like an agent couple in this season, not only in the way their skills complement the other's, but also in how they're both on the same wavelength of thinking during high-stakes situations and are able to brainstorm through them together or understand each other without words. peter didn't hesitate to tell the guy blackmailing him with rose's life to fuck off because he has faith in her ability to evade the attacker if he warns her. rose's involvement saved several of the missions from going south, and as much as he's uncomfortable with her choosing danger over safety in the moment, he clearly admires the effectiveness of her contribution. moments like when she noticed the comms being overheard and when she ambushed markus and showed peter what she'd do just by counting with her hand really show how perfectly they work as a team, and how much smoother operations in the future would go if they're both there to have each other's backs and think through problems together.
your life for hers
fuck me uppppp i love this shit soooooo much. i think one of the main jobs a writer has when developing a plotline is to explore all likely scenarios emerging from the goals and feelings of the character until that point, and the emotional development when it comes to peter protecting rose here is spectacular. while in the first season he was focused on protecting her partly from a feeling of friendship and because he wanted to do right by her and felt responsible for her, in this season it's as clear as day that he's protecting her because he values her life more than his and he's completely aware that if something happens to her it'll wreck him completely. he spends the better part of the season processing the loss of a mission partner and blaming himself for it, and it only serves to bring into focus how much worse things will be for him if rose gets hurt. she's no longer someone he's protecting because it's the right thing to do but someone so precious to him he's fraying at the edges just imagining something happening to her. she's his priority to the point that he doesn't hesitate to throw the mission and put himself in the position of a traitor that he has so much trauma about because of his father, because her being alive and safe is worth every sacrifice to him. the look on his face every time he was blackmailed is 1000000/10.
separation parallels
i really felt the upgrade of the separation scene this season, from the neat wrap-up of the hero flying off into the sunset while his girl waits happily for his call to both characters showing their emotions with all their bitter aftertaste and just feeling through a situation they can't amend right now. i absolutely love how worried rose was whenever someone slipped that peter had done something he could be charged for and all through peter explaining his decision to her, because it's not just that he loves her but that she was used against him and as long as they love each other this can happen again. peter was just excellent here, from taking the time to tell her himself to checking his urge not to get to the bottom of his feelings and taking her hands as he told her the full truth of what he feels for her. rose just breaking down crying and him hugging her and that head kiss was just sooooooooooo perfect in capturing how much they care for each other. rose's expressions as she watches him leave in the taxi and her going towards it are particularly telling, as is her struggle to maintain her smile and carefree tone while talking to noor. her reaching out to noor in the first place speaks volumes to me already, because if she didn't want to be involved with peter's world anymore i doubt she'll want to meet with anyone from that stage in her life now that she's managed to break away from it. noor wasn't buying any of her statements, and from the scene when she sensed something was wrong with her family leaving iran from rose's facial expressions alone, i think she's pretty good at reading her, and the lingering shots on her face leave little doubt rose isn't as fine as she'd like her to think.
predictions for rose in season three and beyond
my thoughts on statements of the writers and actors
the two things that are on my mind when i'm reviewing all the interviews that have addressed rose potentially not continuing with the show are that (1) the showrunners have the right to change their mind about the focus of the show whenever and although it would be like shooting themselves in the foot if they drop her that's their (very unreasonable bc i love rose to pieces) call to make, and (2) no one involved with the show would reveal a major twist before the season has even finished shooting. let's look at some statements of the cast and crew in light of that.
"We don’t want to artificially create a situation where characters have to be part of a specific season on a regular basis. We want to tell the story that feels true in that moment. I am very aware that one of the big strengths of Season 1 — and what I think is a big strength in Season 2 — are Peter and Rose together. I think the relationship is really strong. [...] Their shared trauma from these first two seasons has built this incredible bond. But is it enough to overcome the difference in their lives and their lifestyles Is something that we spend a lot of time talking about. So, not trying to duck the question, but we’re still creatively looking into all that. This, hopefully, with the success, will be a long-running show, and the question you raise is something that we talk a lot about in the writers room." (source)
they're clearly still writing the season and figuring out where they want to place rose in the story without compromising her moral code, and i think they might have wanted to hear the audience's and critics' responses to this as well before they wrap up this season's plot. journalists keep bringing this up in interviews and i think that's very telling to how the public as a whole and not just the shipping fandom views the show as about the both of them, so i hope that interest makes a difference in how they perceive the future of the show as a successful one as well, since they do need people to stick around and characters are a huge draw (case in point i started this for the couple rather than the plot, and didn't even find the plot engaging until season two, but i'd never spend hours of my morning writing an analysis for their excellent handling of plot only). they're clearly aware of peter and rose as a huge boon to the show, but also want to make sure that either of the actors not being able to continue with the series isn't going to put the whole thing out of business. one way i see this playing out is with rose having reduced screen time in season three but coming in as a regular in season four for example, if another season of peter doing agent stuff while she develops something (a program, fighting skills) is what's required for her to fit smoothly in the events surrounding him. i can also see they're anxious not to repeat plot points and make copies of previously successful seasons, so i expect rose's future involvement in the plot to be more creative and not replicate her previous actions, e.g. her not seeking him out on her own in a similar way again, but likely coming in as a partner already in some official capacity.
"That will be a part of Season 3, him trying to emotionally and logistically deal with the unintended consequences of his actions in season 2. [...] The goal isn’t darkness but what I would say is — and I’m involved in a coalition that talks a lot about how mental health is portrayed on TV — one of the things that we wanted to do in Season 2 was model Rose’s behavior as being how you want to approach trauma and violence in your life. She’s seeking professional help, and she’s making progress. Peter, on the other hand, is approaching it in a very old fashioned, very masculine, frankly, way of burying it, ignoring it, and that doesn’t often work. I’m always adamant that I don’t want the show to become so dark and impenetrable, so I think you’re going to see a lot of sides of Peter in Season 3 in the same way that you did in Season 2. I hear your question, and no, the show isn’t about going to the abyss with Peter." (source)
kuddos to them for that honestly i absolutely loved the ptsd portrayal in season two, but the main thing i'm getting from this response is that it's very unlikely for rose to be killed off to remove her from the plot at this point, or to double down on peter's trauma, because that's how peter would define "going into the abyss" imho.
"I would say that that moment, that breakup scene, felt true to us, the writers, as we were crafting the second season. That they live in two very different worlds, that he wants to be in this world that's dangerous, that she doesn't particularly want to be in a world that's dangerous, and yet they have this incredibly strong connection forged over living through and helping each other through these traumatic events. So there's always going to be this incredible connection between the two. What that will mean for their onscreen pairing I think is something that we continue to talk about and will figure out. So, I don't know yet, because we haven't definitively decided what it means for the characters. I will just tell you that we love the character of Rose. We love the character of Peter. We love Luciane and Gabriel as actors. I think they're tremendous together. When we started to work on season 2, I came back to the writers with what I felt were strengths of the show from season 1, and the very first one I wrote down was Peter and Rose together. So we don't take that lightly. At the same time, we don't want to craft something that feels inauthentic just to be a fan service, to keep them together in ways that might feel unrealistic. So that will be the responsibility and the struggle of the writing staff and myself as we craft further seasons." (source)
i think bringing them on the same page about the work can be done with the kind of emotional development they pursued when they explored the impact of trauma and morally grey choices on both of them, so i see this mostly as a matter of narrative time and writing effort, providing they're willing to put those in, rather than the characters being naturally incompatible in terms of their life goals. case in point, rose's characterization in season one came down to happy to break the rules, threaten people with arms, steal things, and kill to protect others or to avenge her loved ones. it's only in season two that we see her struggle with threatening people and endangering lives, so that was a very conscious narrative choice and a huge pivot for her character arc from a tiny daredevil (aspects of her we still see in the party scene for example) to the voice of reason in ethically dubious situations. this kind of major change of heart can happen easily with sufficient screen time and the kind of plot points to inspire it, and is completely within the writers' abilities should they want it to take place.
"I have no idea [whether Rose will be back in season three], and I can’t spoil anything. I wish I could tell you, but Peter does say ‘No, don’t come looking for me,’ and I don’t think Rose takes well to direction; she does whatever she wants. So you never, never know." (source)
it's worth seeing the video of her answering this question, because honestly to me she seems happy to give a little hint of something bigger. it's either her character sixth sense talking (and she's right), or she already knows she'll be brought back to wrap-up the season. i think rose showing up unexpectedly, and prepared, when peter's been spending the season dealing with choosing her safety over remaining clean, is only going to contribute to that theme.
"You can have love for someone without physically expressing it. I think that’s, I don’t want to say trope, but a lazy way of showing that two people care about each other is having them hook up. Sacrificing your life for someone or putting your life at risk to save someone, I think, is a bigger testament of love than giving them a kiss or something like that. The relationship is important to both of them, and you see that through their commitment to one another and keeping one another alive, regardless if that means they’re going to be together, at least they’ll have done what they can to protect the other." (source)
turn this shit upppppppp i love this so much... but this brings me to the fact that as long as they're in love they will be used against each other, so it's time to develop some scenarios from there (and i don't mean them not being in love anymore bc that's just unrealistic at this point; it would require either of them making choices the other can't understand and the entire series becoming more dark, "you can't love anyone"-style, than the writers seem to want it to; giving peter another love interest instead also just seems like undoing a ton of hard work and audience interest just to pull a james bond, and i think they care about being original way more).
plot-realistic scenarios
i'm using this term (likely made-up by me, a writer finishing a book atm btw) here to indicate scenarios that need to be followed for the plot to feel satisfying, e.g. ignoring them would require some disbelief suspension and might make the audience doubt they're seeing the logical development of events and characters as they have been built up so far.
rose is going to continue being used to threaten peter
if part of his goal next season is to eventually turn against the guy holding rose's life over his head, peter needs to make sure she'll survive that plot point, either by protecting her again or warning her and making sure she's in a safe environment while he takes the guy down, for which we need at least a cameo, though that is the laziest way to wrap this up imho. i think the guy will absolutely keep tabs on her so he can use that if peter goes astray, so she'll be involved in this as long as peter's an agent even if she's living a normal life, and i doubt peter will be able to make anyone believe that he doesn't care about her since all it takes for the truth to come out is for someone to point a gun at her head.
rose would benefit from some combat training or security if she's going to make it through this show alive
at the very least, keeping rose out of the show without killing her means also providing her with the means to protect herself as long as peter is being blackmailed with her life, which is one of the few plot points that seems to be a given for the next season. a basic agent training course that would allow her to rebuff attackers, or security trailing her to make sure peter isn't compromised because of her, are the least catherine can do to make sure her plans for peter are successful.
catherine doesn't seem to be done trying to use rose
at multiple points throughout this season, catherine was impressed with rose's coding and recruited her help for a job, and i doubt she'll just let an asset go if she thinks she can be useful. she knows peter's a weak spot for rose that she can utilize to put pressure on her (like with the security cameras, the consequence of rose's choice not to join would have been peter being exposed to more danger, so she changed her mind), and since peter is pretty central to her plans for season three, it makes sense to keep rose closer rather than further. she knows rose can get through to peter when no one else can or take him out of the path she's set out for him, so risking her being too far out of sight to influence strikes me as unreasonable. and what better way to bring rose back into the action than with a bang, by placing her in the middle of a covert mission in later eps (preferably without warning peter to amplify the emotional climax of the reunion) with the kind of skills that would make her at least competent in avoiding capture when things go wrong.
the show has barely scratched the surface of rose as an agent
i mean this seriously, there's so much to work with when it comes to her becoming an agent or helping out with some of the jobs or even if she's joining the action as a voice on the comms while she's hacking some system. peter won't always be in the position to make sure she's safe, and she's been showing so much resilience, quick thinking, and willingness to pull a gun or stab someone during a fight. she's smart, a creative and smooth liar, and refuses to give up even when the odds of her making it are slim. she'll be an asset to any mission the show involves her in, and keeping her in a california office is a huge waste of potential.
rose's arc is far from wrapped up
the thing with rose as a character is that her arc could have been wrapped up in season one without bringing her into season two and the show would still have made sense despite the (disappointing for me the rose fan) shift in focus from romance to political intrigue. the showrunners seem keen to be making that shift anyway, but they decided to keep peter and rose's relationship as not only a subplot but the driving force behind peter's moral conflict and the starting point of him becoming a double agent in season three. rose received a great amount of screen time, agency, and emotional development, but it wasn't enough to feel that she exited the story cleanly and permanently. she clearly still has a lot of processing to do when it comes to both her feelings for peter and whether she wants to join the action and save lives (at multiple points in the show she turned back and rejoined dangerous situations not only out of love for him, but because i think she knows that without her input, chances of things fucking up increase exponentially) despite the danger to her safety, mental health, and moral integrity, and the way to conclude these plot points is to give her more screen time to get full closure or process her trauma and decide to become more involved with night action. even with new storylines and characters appearing, the show will only benefit from keeping rose and peter's relationship as a subplot and exploring the shift in their dynamic and feelings if she's cleared to join the missions on par with him or becomes an agent on other postings unbeknownst to him at first (night action picking up the phone when he has a crisis in season three or her appearing in a completely unrelated undercover mission happening in the same place he's working his target so both of them are thrown off-balance by the proximity). how will their romance develop if she's as competent a fighter as him, if she puts herself at risk as regularly, if their superiors try to use them against each other to manipulate both to their ends? now that's something i'd kill to watch.
#it's been a while since i made a POST omg#if anyone wants my thoughts on something feel free to send an ask!#haven't slept properly in three days binging this and i'm halfway dosing on the keyboard yet i have THOUGHTS#the night agent#the night agent netflix#peter sutherland#rose larkin#sutherkin#peter x rose#peterrose#peterose#larkland#nightrose#also heads up if you read this far i'm not going to write fic about them bc (1) extremely busy with my own book and#(2) the showrunners are doing a great job atm they don't need my help to get this right if they choose to include her in the future
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One of my perhaps unpopular opinions is being a full-time at-home caregiver (to a parent, a child, whomever) should absolutely be considered work and should absolutely be paid like having a conventional job.
Giving caregivers the financial stability and freedom to live as independently as possible is important, especially in terms of being somebody's caregiver. Both the carer and caree deserve to be stable, independent, and have their needs met.
#politics#us politics#i think it's very precarious to rely on one income in the sense of financial abuse#i for sure don't think this is a universal solution but i also don't think someone should be fucked over because...#...being a carer isn't a 'real job'. what the fuck is that line of thinking#caring is *the* full-time job. it's incredibly demanding work and so many places are... expecting that you can do it for free like#that's fucked up to me#it's great that *some* states have compensation for caregivers. it's not enough. yet.#i don't know why but this has been bothering me for literal weeks now
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yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason
side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.
and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.
#I had a longer post w more bullshit in it but ukw nobody's even gonna read THIS one. so.#dumb ass cunts seriously LMAO just the individualism of it all....#we're all just selectively forgetting that most people join the military straight out of high school / after failing to kickstart#their lives so they don't know shit yet and they are categorically not educated and don't have money#you NEED money and have been groomed by recruiters ALREADY into believing this is#The Best and Only to make a survivable amount of money without a college education-- bc they can't afford college btw#and they don't want to take on student debt either bc everyone already knows what a big fuckeroo that is#recruiters WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO JOIN. they will KEEP CALLING YOU. they'll answer your questions#to make it sound like this is going to be a GREAT life decision. you can get all KINDS of jobs (true)#they love to say the thing about how only about 15% of the military will actually see combat in any way#they love to list all the jobs where you will literally just be working at an office or a pharmacy or in tech etc etc etc#the recruiters are offering housing healthcare steady pay and BONUSES if you sign on for longer.#so you let your guard down because you were so scared of the actual fighting. BECAUSE YOU'RE 18 IN THIS SCENARIO BTW.#you cunts will not meet anyone who hates the military as much as people who are NOW DONE working in the military#you don't know enough when they get you and then either you stay placated by the benefits or you scramble away as fast as possible#the number one military haters are people who know what goes on bc they already did it#source: I LIVE NEXT TO A MILITARY BASE LMAO PEOPLE HATE IT HERE!! they are NORMAL PEOPLE#I need you to get it into your head that the people committing atrocities in war were NORMAL when they joined#and that for every person in the military who's actively shedding blood there's 20 who do PAPERWORK#and they both are being put in the same category by you!! and they are BOTH being controlled by the same system!!#sergle.txt#I hate yall I really do.
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#dungeon meshi#laios touden#art#kabru of utaya#delicious in dungeon#I NEED TO PUT LAIOS IN MORE SITUATIONS!!!! (minimum wage jobs)#he just started this job. new enough so no tan from being in the FUCKING 110 DEGREE HEAT OUTSIDE RAHHHH#it's early in the morning. not sweaty yet.#a week down the line and falin is sneaking sunscreen aloe vera and topical ointments from med school and making him use them every day#he's wearing that silly little paper hat hehe#either that or the baseball brim with the big ass hair pins??#sorry. Laios has been assigned Californian in this art. I'll see Kabru as like. a college student from the east coast or w/e#I don't have the skill/energy to match my art perception at the moment. I hate cars. but have this please.#I will Try doing more environments. god backgrounds suck ass so hard :( but I want to try for The Fixation#he! needs! to! be! in! more! minimum! wage! jobs!#josie muses#my art#fuckin. I'll tag the food chain. god knows we never stop yapping about it.#in n out
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i was talking to my wife about maybe possibly spinning a 'rook has two hands' kind of scenario with the Basement Twink and she was like 'oh you're so predictable' and i was like 'what do you mean' and she was like 'romancing a crow and a warden with a necromancer???' and i was like 'oh', so that's where i'm at with rewriting the game in my head,
#the game have me one (1) crumb of conflict between them and gave me romance scenes one after the other#immediately followed up by the 'worst job ever' conversation#and my brainworms are STARVED#besides. Rionn grew up in the basement#he's finally free#he can have a bit of a ho phase#the way the two ot3 dynamics are diametrically opposed are really funny though#the original warden x crow x necromancer trio cannot be more different#i'm not done with the game yet and i don't know if i'll ever play it again so i shall be minmaxing it while i'm in there thank you#dav#dav spoilers#Rionn Ingellvar#Davrin#Lucanis
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There's a certain CCCC summary video that we really, really like. We think it is a great video for people if they want to grasp the story more clearly, if they're confused, or if they're listening to the album for the first time.
That video being Chonny Jash and the Weight of the Mind on Youtube by W3tBl@nk3t. We think they cover it really well.
However, I'm sharing this for a different reason; they say few certain things that really struck with us until now, that I'd like to share with the fandom. Sometimes, we see people really just.. Miss the point of CCCC entirely, and I'd like to shine a light on what was said here. If you'd like to hear this for yourself on video, the timestamp is 35:57-36:45.
“..I bet we all could relate to that, they are the prime example of the side of you that suffers and the side of you that hates yourself for suffering:
The side of you that just wants to slow down and feel everything even to the unhealthy extent of not being able to do anything else(1), but also the side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it(2).
Sure, laying in bed all day every day to rot isn't healthy, but neither is boiling things down and invalidating your own emotions. Both are paths to inevitable disaster, and that's what Chonny is doing here. Keep in mind that the idea behind this album is being whole, and that means neither of these sides are entirely in the right or the wrong; this album is about inner compromise and acceptance(3).”
1.) The side of you that suffers; Heart. He is representative of Whole's emotions, he holds them. Your emotions can go haywire, especially when one's mentally ill and has no way of their feelings being validated. An emotional person like Heart suffers under the weight of crushing, devastating feelings. He wants to feel things out, have time to just process everything, even if it takes them days or weeks to get over it. It's not healthy, but feeling is what he does, and he wants to help because he knows he has importance. Solely focusing on just your emotions isn't the best thing to do, however.
2.) The side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it; Mind. Many people have been there, have wanted themselves to stop wallowing in their own emotions and just do something else, even to the point where you think feeling things out is unnecessary. This is also unhealthy, but not intentionally. Like Heart, Mind just wants to help, everything he does is in best interest. This is what he thinks will get them to move on the quickest; to leave behind emotions and focus on anything BUT that. Also not the best thing to do.
3.) This album is about inner compromise and acceptance; About being whole. Neither of Heart and Mind are right nor wrong. They have their own ways of doing things, of what they think will help their whole self out the most, but both are unhealthy despite the good intentions. They fight over who's wrong or right, when they shouldn't even be doing so in the first place. It's your thoughts against your emotions, basically; your feelings contradict your thoughts, and it leads to an inner war of sorts. This won't make things better, which is why you can't have Mind over Heart or vice versa; you'll need both of them. In the album, they are only able to be whole when they get along. They harmonize, they 'combine', they see eye to eye with each other and work together instead of fighting over and over. Inner compromise is achieved with this, and acceptance can lead them away from any disaster that there's to come.
What we're trying to say is that mental health is a large thing tackled within CCCC, and yet we see a lot of people who overlook it; thus, end up missing the point of the whole album. We see a lot of people believe Mind's perspective a little too much and treat Heart quite harshly, or the other way where people demonize Mind and say that Heart is perfect, when it's not really that in the slightest.
This is not a hate post towards people's interpretations of CCCC or how they view characters, I'm just saying that people can tend to overlook what's in the very narrative, and we see a concerning amount of people do such.
Anyways. Stream CCCC and put your Hearts and Minds in the get along shirt. Have a nice day.
#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cccc#cccc heart#cj heart#cccc mind#cj mind#mind chonny jash#heart chonny jash#I did not mention Soul once in this post. I am so sorry to all of the Soul enjoyers#whole was technically mentioned but this is not about him. so sorry to the Whole enjoyers as well#we rreally really really like this CCCC video#a lot#it does a great job at explaining things and is fairly good for an unbiased telling of the story#to reiterate though this is not a hate post#it's just a bit frustrating to see how many people say that mind is right or heart is right#but no.. that is not the point of cccc#and it's even in tse as well. the line 'neither is right yet neither is wrong'#personally we are big fans of heart and will defend him since he gets so mischaracterized#but we know and acknowledge that he isn't 100% correct and can be wrong for what he wants to do and has done#we love Heart but he did not have to pull that gun.#also. more justice for characters who make mistakes but aren't automatically super evil because they're just human.#we've seen how people lack that understanding in the fandom </3#hmsw are so incredibly flawed in a relatable way with such good writing#we feel like people overlook that so much#this post was scary to make but#we're doing it#here goes#CxC rambling and yapping#we haven't posted purely text posts in a while please don't come for our heads c4 fandom
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Redeem starscream this, Skyfire and starscream running away together this but what about:
Starscream breaking away from Megatron or having something undercover going on and he and skyfire (who is brainwashed for.. reasons and supports his evil wife on evil stuff no matter what about morals) are villain and buffy henchman who carries him on his shoulders all around dynamic and also having a plan against both sides with the seekers??
#transformers#skystar#skyfire#starscream#I have two ideas for animatics with that concept w songs and yet I don't do it and I don't see anyone doing it either. 😔#Spoilers starscream plan basically relies on the fact that he believes that if he does it he finally be adored by others.#The typical “starscream acts the way he acts because he doesn't receive megatrons paternal or others social affection” XDD#Megatron just tell him he did a good job hes now planning to pull a coup d'état at you!
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2024 year in review/art summary. i realized i never made these for 2021-23 either so here's all of them. i think i haven't been drawing as much these past few years, oh well support me on: patreon | kofi | redbubble
#year in review#art summary#i think in 2020 i got stuck on the decade review which i never finished and then didn't make these after#don't ask me why the formatting's so different#some of this art i haven't posted yet oh well.... some of it's in my queue.... i'll upload the rest later#2021#2022#2023#2024#for drawing less it's kinda because of having an irl job#less time and also kinda giving up on doing art for money#since now i can get money from job. and i wasn't very good at getting money from art anyway. also doing it for money made drawing less-#-enjoyable; this just didn't matter to me much tho. if it worked out i would've taken it as less enjoyable work rather than for fun#though in theory i would now be drawing stuff i actually wanted to draw then#but that takes more effort and i'm usually too tired#idk we'll see if this year's better since i'm working fewer days now#i was going to write this out too at some point but was tired of the performative aspect of social media so here's some info in random tags
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i think you can be as critical about the venezuelan opposition and maría corina and edmundo as you want but arent venezuelans allowed to choose for themselves even if the options arent perfect? are you willing to justify electoral fraud and police brutality, class inequality, bad management of resources, lack of maintenance of the country, breach of the law, lack of investment in health services and education etc etc just because the person doing it is someone you like or because you don't like the other option? are people at fault for wanting something different?
#i don't like idolizing politicians either in fact i dont think anyone should#a government official being good to the people would literally just be doing their job#but there are reasons for how much people love maría corina as of now and it's because shes one of the few members of the opposition#that has not completely given up on us or just sold themselves to the regime#from the days of chavez and when nobody would pay attention to her or think she would accomplish anything#people are allowed to have hope#and im very sick of this tendency to dehumanize other countries(particularly those from the third world)#and act like they cannot defend themselves or choose for themselves#when they try they are told not to and to let others do the job. how fair is that?? who are you helping?#if maría corina and edmundo fail us it would just turn into what we are already living through. we know it already#if they keep their promises and things go well or at least better then yay!#but we know what's going to happen under maduro#the country will keep deteriorating until everybody either dies or leaves#or people will keep living miserably#i thought people liked the idea that you shouldnt have to work out of your ass to have your neccesities covered!#well people are exploited here on the daily and don't have access to half things they need#let alone pursuing their dreams. theyre not allowed to dream#it's either we die or we don't die for me#i want to see my country healing thats all. you think maduro will give us that? absolutely not#it's always like this with countries that others view as just a land of natural resources or as a land of dumb poor people to project onto#just allow us to see where this goes. it's what the people chose. respect it.#oh ok vent over#Venezuela#this is very messily written i havent had breakfast yet#not to mentionnnnnnnn people on other places know what it's like having to choose for the lesser evil but when vzla does it it's wrong. lol#chavismo is not going to save anyone other than the regime. even chavistas themselves die under it#a lot of us were born under chavismo and want to see life outside of it
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*starts to make a post about my latest crisis like three times*
#it's uh. it's interesting times here#i am really out here choosing between my comfort zone#or spending over 300 dollars to go to a homeschool conference to sell some copies of my book#most of the money would be spent on author copies of my book#and like. i prayed and i was pretty sure buying 50 of them was the right way to go#AND YET. IT WOULD COST TWO FREAKING HUNDRED DOLLARS#well 269. let's be precise here#and i have to pay for a table at the book sale too and the time window is closing#i did randomly get a surprising amount of money from two people for christmas#and that would cover roughly half of it#but like. this is really stepping out in faith. close to as much as when i quit my job for this#i could make it all back all i have to do is sell those books. not even all of them just most of them.#BUT WHAT IF I CAN'T#i'm an introvert okay. or introvert adjacent. i don't have the confidence that my dad or my siblings would have for this#especially not when there's 300 dollars at stake and just. ugh#i definitely should not be putting all my faith in money or my own abilities#in fact what i should be doing is saying 'okay God if this is what you want then show up'#but oh sky above it is very scary#so if you made it this far. pray for me? that God will show me the right thing to do and i'll follow the path He has for me#even though it's extremely scary#hazel rambles about her original writing
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Winter Sun 🌤
companion piece to Winter Moon! I've been using VR & AR headsets to create paintings you can walk inside of - you can see more of this series in my Immersive Painting tag ✨
#art#3d art#artists on tumblr#video#art video#process video#art process#vr#virtual reality#ar#augmented reality#figmin xr#sun#mandala#landscape#nature art#ok one billion tags are over#i've made a ton of these now but don't have video of all of them yet#i am attempting to learn the meaning of 'director' in my job title via actually directing video production#instead of trying to do everything myself#my new year's resolution is to figure out how to take it fucking easy lmao
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I like your style. I should listen to you...
...
-Tim
#i actually don't have a job just yet but i am definitely looking#my savings will only last me but so long#and i dont like just staring into space all day like i am now#ask.txt#mh#tim wright#marble hornets#afterlife au#slenderverse
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"Your people need their heroes."
Their heroes:
#destiny#destiny 2#destiny the game#bungie#destiny art#lightfall#d2 lightfall#season of defiance#the young wolf#hunter guardian#warlock guardian#mara sov#pouka#d2 nimbus#d2 ghost#fanart#comics#SOME WEEKS LATE FOR W1 COMICS BUT I WAS - YKNOW - BUSY PLAYING#i still didn't even stop to read all lores yet yelp asdfghj#usually its the first thing i do but there's so much going on#let alone my jobs and comms which btw still has slots open!!#hoping this lighthearted comics cheer the community up after the heartbreaking news of weekend#siblings in light sharing the same braincells and those braincells are me#watch denka the warlock crushing on everyone bc i simply don't have a ship for him like my hunter has#separating lightfall and sodefiance plots for my hunter and warlock was the best decision i could do lkjhgfdsadfghjk#if you squint you'll see denka the warlock changed the spider crest in his torso to house light AS IT SHOULD BE#comic
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