#ok one billion tags are over

[aurosoulart]

Winter Sun 🌤

companion piece to Winter Moon! I've been using VR & AR headsets to create paintings you can walk inside of - you can see more of this series in my Immersive Painting tag ✨

[amethyst-marshmallow]

More sprunki designs yayyyyyyy wooooooooohooooooooo yeah

why are they just standing there DO SOMETHING COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

erm anyway yeah these r my designs 4 raddy an gray :3 idk why i drew them at the same time they have nothing to do with each other💀other than that theyre both emo anyway

[chisatowo]

Rotates Wendy gender moments in my head at rapid speeds

[grimm-writings]

hello! <3 i read your dungeon meshi stuff and it was great!! is it alright if i request some relationship headcanons with chilchuk? preferably with a male s/o, but gn is alright too! thank you sm! i hope you have a good day.

chilchuck relationship headcanons!!

…ft! chilchuck x m! reader

…tags! fluff, mentions of chilchuck's wife, chilchuck bisexuality crisis, teeny weeny hurt/comfort, talk of marriage, just word vomit tbh

…wc! 1561 (UHM...)

…notes! m! reader food come get it!!!!!!!! thank you for giving me the opportunity to go crazy stupid with this request anon i love chil so much is it obvious yet

Ok let’s get one thing straight.

(He isn’t.  Haha.)

But!  In all seriousness, Chilchuck has one thing he needs to do before considering a committed relationship.

Yep, even with all the longing glances, late night conversations, and helping each other learn and grow, he has to delay the fruition of your relationship until after everything after the dungeon dies down.

Well… he just needs to talk to his past lover first.  He needs to have a long, long conversation with her, and he’ll be sure to mention you too.

He relays this to you during the great feast privately.  Despite his nervousness, the sigh of relief that escapes him is noticeable.  His shoulders slack and he closes his eyes.  Finally, it’s off his chest.

Before we talk about the actual relationship, though, let’s talk about stuff that happened during the pining phase!  Yay!

Chilchuck only had one flame his entire life, and that was his childhood friend.  He never really ‘dated’, never really had any sort of time to explore his feelings for anyone else.

To put it plainly, he had no idea he was into guys.

“I dunno, Senshi was always kind of handsome,” Chilchuck notes with Laios, and his doppelganger nods in agreement. You and Marcille pause for a second, processing the words the two men said.  Like a house pet that has certain opinions regarding these sorts of people, you side-eye one another. “How would you know that?”  You challenge. In response, one of the Chilchucks glances over at you – the more tired looking one – and he shrugs.  “Not anyone would have the kinda bold look in his eyes he has.  The pinnacle of masculinity,” he huffs with a small grin, as if daydreaming of the very such thing. You have no words.  You quite simply don’t.

It’d be a major “oh FUCK” moment when he does realise.  Honestly the entire realisation of feelings for Chilchuck is Good Medicine but times a billion.

He’s pacing he’s pulling at his hair he’s questioning how the HELL did this happen.

If he has a pillow he is screaming into it more often than he normally does.

If you’re more on the masculine side, or are a dwarf, this man is a right mess around you.

Like he’s stammering constantly and hates himself for it.  Constantly red in the face around you and has to excuse himself.

But like . Not in a gay way or anything.

(Seriously if you think how he avoids his friends is ridiculous, this is eleven times worse.)

It takes some time, but I can imagine there’s a moment in the dungeon where you kissed at least once.

Chilchuck is the one to break away first, his eyes wide and face beet red.  It doesn’t take long for him to take his hands away from where they were, interlaced with yours, to hold his face and drag his skin down in dread. “...Did you like it?”  You nervously ask.  He’s the king of mixed signals… The half-foot nods slowly, still looking like he experienced some form of unwanted enlightenment.  “Yuh–huh,” he squeaks. You smile.  That’s good enough for you.

Marcille definitely picks up on SOME tension though.  She’s oddly observant of that sort of thing.

Once you actually reveal to the party that you’re seeing each other post-canon, Marcille disrespectfully shouts “I KNEW IT!”

As Chilchuck and her have an arguing match about that, you’ll look at Laios who looks shocked.  He had no idea.  Some things never change.

Senshi and Falin are normal and actually just congratulate you.  Give them hugs for me.

BUT FINALLY ONTO ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS!!!!!! (This is like 600 words so far.)

He’s still uneasy about a lot of things.  He has a deep-rooted fear of messing this up again.

When the relationship is established he might distance himself for a bit.  Not on purpose, mind you, he’s just… not sure of what to do, and he’d rather not do anything at all than mess up.

Chilchuck no that in turn is messing up noo!!!!

You’d have to tell him this and he’ll try and turn his behaviour around instantaneously.  He’ll be nervous and frustrated with himself, but take it slow and he’ll come around eventually.

His nicknames are … unique.

He’ll use stuff like “idiot” with the greatest affection in his eyes and a soft grin, but he’ll say “hey handsome” with the most dripping sarcasm and sneer.  Why is he like this—

Play with his strands of grey hair and he’s so flustered, swatting your hand away.  If he’s tired and cuddling into you, though, he… well, he wouldn’t mind it.

Speaking of cuddling!  He didn’t really do much like cuddling in his previous relationship, to your surprise.  He just shrugs and says he and his old flame weren’t that kind of people.

This is how you inadvertently find out Chilchuck is a wombo combo of touch starved and too embarrassed by it to do anything about it.  How does he live…?

He knows himself if you’re not a half-foot that him being a big spoon is too ridiculous of a notion.  Yeah, he immediately assumes he has to be the one spooning you.  He realises with time though that he… drastically prefers being in your arms.  Feeling secure, loved…  He really really likes it.

Not like you can ever get him to admit it verbally.

(You can still see it from how he relaxes into you and smiles as he drifts off into dreamland.)

It’s been a long day, and Chilchuck wants nothing more than to see you.  You look up from where you were sitting when your boyfriend enters the house and smile.  “Good evening, love.” God, your smile.  If he didn’t know he’d be coming home to this, then the work day wouldn’t have been worth it.  He sighs and smiles, walking to you and immediately falling onto your lap.  His face tucks itself into your stomach and his arms wrap around your middle. “Hm, someone’s tired,” you remark with a grin.  Chilchuck merely groans into your form. Sparing him from any teasing, you card your fingers through your hair.  You can already feel how he melts into you as he loses consciousness. You lean down and kiss the shell of his ear.  “Sweet dreams, Chil.”

For a long time, he struggles with actually calling you his boyfriend.  It’s not like he’s ashamed of you, it’s just…  It’s always been “my wife” for such a long time.  He still can’t quite fathom this change in his life.  That you’re his and he’s yours.

Eventually, he’ll be the one to proudly proclaim “my boyfriend!” when he gets the chance to mention you.  He’s quite proud of the fact he’s got you, after all.

His kisses are usually quick and brief pecks on your temple or if he’s not in reach, your hand or shoulder.  

Ugh can you imagine him taking your hand and giving a kiss to the back of it?  And you can feel his thumb ghost over your knuckles reassuringly before wishing you farewell to work?  Dying dead.

Kiss him and he’s always taken aback every time.  He still won’t be able to comprehend it no matter how many times you’ve done it.

(To be slightly on the more suggestive side… really likes making out when in the mood.  He can do that for hours with him on top of you.  Though he wouldn’t mind being underneath if he considers it…)

He daydreams more often than he likes, especially early in the relationship.  He’ll feel ridiculous for it, like some lovestruck schoolboy but… well, yeah, he IS utterly enamoured with you!  Don’t be surprised if you catch him staring at you or checking you out in some way.  Call him out, and he’ll flush with a furrowed brow and glance away.

His love language mostly comes in the form of acts of service.  Although there’s a slight bit of gift giving too.  He likes giving you wordworks or embroidery he made if he knows you like it.  Maybe he’ll make you a teddy or ragdoll if you’re into that!

You also get Chilchuck thinking about the impossible after a while.  He doesn’t try to make a big deal out of it, but it’s kinda hard when…

“I think I can give marriage a second chance,” Chilchuck says out of the blue to you one relaxing night in bed.  His hair is messed up by you burying your head into it, and your lover is tucked into your chest, holding onto your waist. His words certainly catch you off guard, and for once Chilchuck doesn’t make a thing out of being the one to fluster you for once.  Instead, he tucks his nose into your neck and sighs.  “I just…” he pauses for a few seconds.  “I think I can do it right this time.  If you’re here with me.  I think I can do it.” The silence is thick with a kind of tenderness you’d only associate with the colour pink.  It’s deep and you can feel your face glow in the heat. You pull Chilchuck closer and kiss his head. “I’d really like that Chilchuck.  I really would.” He chuckles slightly at the soft sensation, closing his eyes again. “Thank you,” he says, “I mean it.  I couldn’t have made it this far without you.”

[utilitycaster]

different anon, but the "theist DNI" ask was hilarious to me because I am still reeling from the post and especially OP going "the gods aren't really gods (because they're not omnipotent but just really powerful)" in it and then in the replies doubling down on the standpoint of "gods aren't real" - apparently just over the bank, basically conflating real world and Exandria in one fell swoop with this Universal Truth(tm) - because of course they can't produce any analysis of worth. they refuse to engage with basic tenets of the setting that do not fit their particular worldview. it really time and again comes back to people being unable to engage with religious concepts beyond a very superficial and milque-toast "Christianity evil, actually"

Yeah, this is true for like...a lot of the people claiming Campaign 3 is Great and we are all Not Leftist nor Intellectual Enough nor Capable of Parsing Black and White Morality; they say that and then they make and reblog posts with messages like "well you see the Good Brown People who were Colonized will Always be radicalized solely in the name of their own liberation haha don't look at any historical events from the last century", and in the end I do think it is all mostly in the name of trying to support the conclusion that killing the gods is definitely the right answer, and trying to work backwards from there to make the text fit.

I really didn't address the point that their arguments about the gods not being "real gods" were absolutely nonsensical (pro-tip: in a media analysis you can't just reference other works of fiction nor, if any of these ignoramuses did, literary and/or political theory, without actually analyzing them and drawing comparisons in the service of a thesis; "gods in this work are different than the gods in Exandria" is not actually a meaningful statement given that it's like yes Runescape and Exandria are two entirely different settings, things are different) but as always, follow the thread and the implications and you'll find the problems: so if the problem is that the gods are powerful but not all powerful, or don't admit they're not all powerful...does that mean they're ok? If they had given Ashton and Imogen what they wanted, would that mean that killing the titans and Aeor was totally fine? Is your argument that the gods are a colonizing force because they are from outside of Exandria and because they (with the people of Exandria) killed the titans (but the people of Exandria are ok for doing this for reasons of [crickets]) or is your argument that they are a colonizing force bc they didn't kiss your blorbo so sweetly on the head and tell them everything they were doing was good and correct? Because this really is leaning towards the latter. It is, again, an individual grievance falsely claimed to be a system of oppression.

And that's really the key. We are looking at a party with a lot of valid personal traumas, but virtually nothing in the way of in-world systemic oppression, and I do not think it is a coincidence that this party has a unique appeal for a group of people who are overwhelmingly white, overwhelmingly from financially stable upbringings, overwhelmingly from wealthy Western countries, and overwhelmingly people who were raised Christian, left the religion, became some kind of dullard nihilist who labors under the misapprehension that this makes them leftist, and really, really fucking hate being reminded that they are not, in fact, remotely close to being Christianity's greatest victims. It has a unique appeal for people who are obsessed with painting themselves as powerless to enact change - who, as I said in earlier tags and also like a billion posts dating back to at least early 2023, fetishize and glorify a lack of agency - because then haha you can't blame them! they can't do anything! I think they're REALLY mad, actually, that one of the most prominent critiques of Campaign 3 has become "this indecision and inaction and endless waffling is actually insufferable" because that drives a spike through the idea that you can evade judgment through doing nothing, despite this being like, one of the most basic ethical concepts. And again just as I don't think the CR cast is doing THAT message on purpose any more so than a (horrendously flawed to the point of failure) anticolonialism message, I just think that the mismatch of plot and character and the multitude of issues in the execution have unintentionally presented themselves in this manner.

Anyway yeah this inability to consider the idea that maybe Bells Hells have a wildly limited viewpoint and so do you is superficial, it's self-obsessed, and it's so goddamn banal.

[wrishwrosh]

re: tags on labor in historical fiction post, would be very interested to hear what the four examples you mentioned are!!

ok u know what that tag WAS bait, thank you for taking it. technically speaking these aren't works dealing strictly with labor in historical fiction, they are my four treasured examples of BUREAUCRAT FICTION (so not NOT about labor in history?) i was gonna try to make this post pithy and short but then i remembered how extremely passionate i am about this microgenre i made up. so sorry.

bureaucrat fiction is not limited by genre or format but criteria for inclusion are as follows: long and detour-filled story about functionary on the outside of society finding unexpected success within a ponderously large and powerful System/exploring themes of class and physicality and work and autonomy and what it means to hold power over others beneath the heartless crushing wheels of empire/sad little man does paperwork. also typically long as hell. should include at least one scene where the protagonist is unironically applauded-perhaps for the first time in their life-for filling out a form really good. without further ado:

soldier's heart by alex51324. the bureaucracy: british army medical corps during wwi. the bureacrat: mean gay footman/new ramc recruit thomas barrow. YEAH it's a downton abbey fic YEAH it's a masterpiece. i've talked about it before at length, my love has not faded. the crowning moment of bureaucracy is a long interlude where thomas optimizes the hospital laundry (this actually happens twice or maybe three times)

hands of the emperor by victoria goddard. the bureaucracy: crumbling fantasy empire some time after magical apocalypse. the bureacrat: passionate late-career clerk from the hinterlands cliopher mdang. i reread this book every winter bc it is as a warm bath for my SAD-addled brain and every time i neglect all my responsibilities to read all nine billion pages in three days. it puts abt 93% of the worldbuilding momentum into elaborating all of the ministries and secretaries and audits necessary to run a global government and like 7% into the magic and stuff. there are also several charming companion novellas and an equally long sequel that dives more into the central relationship between cliopher and the emperor which i highly recommend if you like gentle old man yaoi and/or magic, but there's more bureaucracy in HOTE.

the cromwell trilogy by hilary mantel. the bureaucracy: court of henry viii. the bureaucrat: thomas cromwell, the real guy. curveball! it's critically acclaimed booker prize winning rpf novel wolf hall! mantel is really interested in particular ways of gaining and maintaining power in delicate and labyrinthine systems like the tudor court, specifically in strongmen who use both physical intimidation and metaphysical manipulation to succeed. under these conditions i do think my best friend long-dead historical personage thomas cromwell counts as Bureaucrat Fiction (as do danton and robespierre in a place of greater safety. bonus rec.)

going postal by terry pratchett. the bureaucracy: fantasy postal service of ankh-morpork. the bureaucrat: conman, scammer, and little freak moist von lipwig. this is definitely shorter and lighter than the other three entries on the list, sort of a screwball take on the bureaucrat. but the mail is such a classic bureaucracy thing? who doesn't love thinking about the mail? also contains a key genre element which is a fraught sexual tension with the person immediately above the protagonist in their hierarchy, who is also their god-king and boyfriend-dad. you can't tell me vetinari isn't torturing moist psychologically AND sexually.

anyway sorry about all this. if you've read any of these come talk to me about them. bureaucrat fiction recs welcomed with the openest possible arms.

[urbestestwindgod]

hahaha!!

rp blog for Epic: The Musical, id rate it teen because aeolus does get in some shenanigans with either violence or sensual implications

pfp and bf by my friend @/anxiety-problem :)

im really super annoying im sorry

irl i do crocheted plushies of greek mythos! you can give recommendations here (not a commissions thing, i dont sell anything lol)

if you like me here maybe you’ll like me over on my baby minotaur blog @minitaur-n-the-labyrinth :3

ic posts in this color with italics because i like them :3

technically my tag for aeolus is “aeolus’ discord” but i hardly use it lol

i love love love my winions above other things (if you saw that video where i hit one that was a one time thing ok i was angry i don’t do that regularly!!)

name: aeolus :3 (i pronounce it ay-oh-lus but who knows that could be wrong oh well ill be dead one day anyways)

occupation: i would say wind god but zeus doesnt pay me for it like the others bc apparently “its not work” so

gender: fluid (she/he/they)

sexuality: id say bi for simplicity but you all have a chance dw ;)

age: …300smth—stopped counting

dad: poseidon :3

mom: 🤷‍♀️ you can ask @/unknown-mother-of-wind she seems to know a lot about stuff

favorite siblings: triton, polyphemus, rhode, kymopoleia, laestrygon, charybdis, uhm…the other billion i have—

my boyfriend, girlfriend, and other girlfriend: zephyrus, enarete, and oizys <333

my biggest fan: @jjjjjjpp

favorite mortals: eurlochus (opened the wind bag💕), odysseus (entertaining), perimedes (super sharp sword), elpenor (gave me wine with my lotus!!), alcyone (my deceased daughter:( )

favorite family members: uncle zeus, aunt hera, uncle hades, aunt demeter, aunt hestia (my favorite favorite), alll my cousins—hermes, apollo, artemis, hepheastus, ares, dionysus,

ooc stuff:

ooc in plain black (still fun and appreciated)

some info abt me out of character is she/he (not they/them pls thats gender neutral and i in fact have a lot of it), my name is ella, bi, professional over sharer but i try and be careful haha

generally would consider myself very chill abt most stuff; cussing/flirting/cringe, so thats all alr just pls dont cuss AT me bc im kinda sensitive sorry

nsfw i would be light on. dont go too far pls, i am a minor but im not gonna be all puritan over small jokes or implications or whatnot—but no images, or explicits, and threats would be not appreciated. (unless ur the mod of the oizys blog then u can do whatever u want❤️)

i love you all very much, you are all very special to me, kiss kiss!!

[kdramaxoxo]

Sorry if you've been asked this a million times, but who are your favorite couples from the last couple years?

Congratulations Anon! This ask is AMAZING and I've never been asked it before! Shocking right?? :P

My favorite K-Drama Couples 2023- Spring 2024

NOTE: I tried to include 2022 but my list got too long :)

Moving (Bong-Seok & Hee-Soo, Joo-Won & Hye-Won & Doo-Shik & Mi-Hyun): It's very obvious by this list how much I love this drama and how many blorbo-from-my-shows it created for me. And I know I'm only reviewing couples, but I was blown away by this drama. I don't even LIKE superhero shows, but I made an exception for this one and I'm so glad I did. If you like character development and plays on good vs. evil, I highly rec this! Bong-Seok and Hee-Soo are one of my favorite couples EVER and I loved the softness and epic romance of Joo-Won & Hye-Won. (And we all know that scene at the rainy window with Bong-Seok and Hee-Soo). These couples are really EVERYTHING.

Tale of the Nine Tailed: 1938 (Lee-rang & Yeo-Hee): This is the only time I've ever watched a season two and liked it better than season one. It's probably because it featured my favorite tragic half fox Lee Rang and gave him a love line with a mermaid. The two are SO sweet together---SOB!

Tell me That You Love Me (Mo-Eun & Jin-Woo): Wow. Maybe one of the softest couples I've ever seen in existence. Just watching them together was like a warm blanket in front of a cozy fireplace. I didn't like the ending choice which is a shame, but the drama was super well done and I still think people should watch it. There is also a very cute high school couple too!

The Eighth Sense (Jae-Won & Ji Hyun): not to be dramatic (just kidding!) this is the best bl kdrama I've ever seen. Literally this is it! I don't even want to tell you about the couple because I want you to just watch it! I'm dying for the writer to make another one because we need more queer media like this one!

Crash Course In Romance (Haeng-Seon & Chi-Yeol): Give me a noona romance featuring a man who has not felt warmth in 1000 years (ok not literally but this dude needs to have a warm meal made by an amazing lady!) This drama fell apart at the end (this seems to be a theme this year) but the couple makes it worth watching.

King The Land (Gu-Won & Sa-Rang): If you're looking for a low stakes, totally fluffy, rom com with TONS of chemistry (featuring MY BIAS!), King the Land is for you. Amazing skinship, kisses and just like a really fun duo to watch. Plot? Not so much but there are a billion good moments-- just look at the tags: They are full of cuteness.

Love After Divorce Season 4 (Benita & Jerome): Listen, I know I'm cheating by putting a reality tv show on this list but if you're in the mood for one, I highly recommend this season (it's on Netflix). Benita and Jerome will steal your heart and they are still together! I'm rooting for them. <3

See you in my 19th Life (Ji-Eum & Seo-Ha, Da-Hoon & Cho-Won): My bias Shin Hye Sun kills it in this drama featuring past life romance. Honestly it's not fair because this drama is totally my vibe so I'm obviously going to love the mains. But when a drama gives you more than one love line and they are both interesting and lovely?? Chef's Kiss!

Dr. Slump (Jeong-Woo & Ha-Neul): This drama TOTALLY fell apart at the end and left us all very disappointed, but that's not because our leads weren't a perfect couple! They bonded over mental illness and even took their meds together. Communication: check. Comfort/Healing: check. Chemistry: check!

The Story of Park's Marriage Contract (Yun-Woo & Tae-Ha). You probably don't know this but I've been following Bae In Hyuk's career since we was in silly little web dramas. Seeing him as a lead is really wild! To be fair, he's not nearly the actor that Lee Se Young is, but do we care about that when there's a time slip romance drama featuring a historical lady who's been thrown into the future and has to fake marry someone who looks just like her de*d husband for reasons??

Thank you so much for this ask - it was super fun!! Maybe I should do 2022 next?? :D

[allthecanadianpolitics]

A group of demonstrators gathered outside the RBC branch on Main Street Saturday to protest the organization’s support of oil and gas projects. A 2023 report called Banking on Climate Chaos revealed RBC invested over 40 billion in the fossil fuel industry in 2022. “That’s not ok,” says Kirby Cote, one of the organizers behind the demonstration. “We need to hold them accountable for the money that they’re giving people who are destroying our planet.” Cote says the rally is also meant to show solidarity with Indigenous land defenders.

Continue Reading.

Tagging: @politicsofcanada

[liesmyth]

Dissecting John and Wake’s conversation

Or, at least, a specific section of it. Way before NtN came out, Wake’s specific phrasing when she accuses John struck me as odd. I’ve been obsessing over these lines since 2021.

Given the context, she’s most likely talking about Earth here, not his post-resurrection actions. She is charging him with the genocide of humanity on the day he destroyed Earth. But her language is very specific, and at odds with how Wake usually talks. It sounds rehearsed; it sounds very dogmatic, like another line that has been passed down the generations, just as BoE names are.

According to the HtN glossary, BoE members pick their names from the names of previous Edenites. It goes back all the way to Earth, but they don’t seem to have the context for these references. Wake’s list of accusations against John has the tone of another litany, as if this specific wording has been passed down. John has “heard this ALL before,” which IMO supports this interpretation. He has heard these exact accusations before, down to the wording. They’re ritualised.

Wake recites her charges without any hint of doubt; she’s definitely convinced she IS telling the truth. What I find interesting is the contrast between her very precisely worded charges, and the fact that she follows them up with factually incorrect information. This:

Ok, here’s the thing. John didn’t kill ten billion people with “A” BOMB. Note the singular here. It’s peculiar, because she was SO specific just before, and because this is Wake—she knows her shit about weapons; she would know that it’s way, way more likely to kill billions of people with repeated strikes instead of one (1) huge bomb. And “bomb” it’s not a word that people tend to use in the singular whee they mean multiple bombs. I really think that, given the context, she TRULY means to say that BoE lore has it that John Gaius wiped out all of humanity in one blow. She believes it. This isn’t a historical account; this is a flood myth.

I may be overthinking this, but it’s fun to do it, so. What this conversation says (TO ME, until Alecto proves me wrong etc.) is

BoE believe they know how the destruction of humanity came about.

Their account was probably passed down the generation, and it’s become part of their mythology. It’s entirely not factually correct.

This could be due to simply the fact that it’s been millennia and many records went lost, leaving legends. OR it could be because of other reasons (propaganda?). Also: if we take the apparent (but not confirmed) implication that the non-House planets were settled by descendants of the FTL fleet, there’s the fact that the ships were in orbit while Earth was actually being destroyed—they may have been aware of a bomb exploding as they took off, causing a loss of communication with Earth, but it’s a massive fucking leap from “Melbourne went dark” to “kiwi necro guy killed off all of humanity”. They were already at the edge of the solar system when John “grabbed one” of the ships, but I doubt he was in any way recognisable, you know? It’s more likely he looked like an angry nebula. The FTL fleet would Not know exactly what happened.

(Anyway I’m writing out this because I’m about to start a NtN reread and I remember finishing up my Harrow reread in August and being yet again struck by all the details in this conversation—hence tagging it as #nona reread. Very excited to go obsessing over NtN now.)

[verbenaa]

for the fic asks: 2, 19, 29, 37, 40, 47, 57, 59! 🫂❤️

ahhhh tysm my friend 🥹🫂💕

(answering from this set of questions here)

2. do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go? I already answered this question here, but the short answer is both, haha ���. I am a very chaotic writer.

I will say though, the farther I get into writing to eden, the more I have planned for each chapter moving forward. In the beginning I had very little plans for the story and more of a vague idea, which gave me a lot of room to figure out exactly what I wanted to story to be and now I have a much clearer trajectory of where I am taking things. But even knowing that, I still technically only have a basic outline set up for the next 5 chapters or so (which puts us post-confession near the end of act 2)! Once I post the confession chapter, I definitely need to sit down and think about how to move towards act 3 for sure (though I've definitely already been thinking about it in my mind) 😅🫡

19. what is the most used tag on your ao3? I think it is a 3-way tie between 'Porn with Feelings', 'Soft Dom Astarion', and 'PWP' hahaha

29. what's your revision or editing process like? absolute chaos. Every chapter and fic is different during editing, of course, but I am very much NOT an organized person in any facet of my existence, and this extends to editing✨. I do a lot of rereads, change wording around, change it back, etc. The one thing I do in every WIP though is use the color red to designate something that needs attention, so it serves as a clear visual marker of 'hey something about this word/phrase/paragraph is off and needs a little more TLC'. I also utilize this while writing as a way to say ‘I like this idea but the English is not flowing and I can’t find the exact words’ so I can know to go back to that concept and flesh it out when the English DOES decide to flow again. I also like doing this because it means when I'm done editing, I get to see a word doc without ANY red which is a great feeling!

37. how do you choose where to end a chapter? straight vibes 😎. but honestly I never really know if I'm ending on the right thing, I just attempt to close stuff where it feels like a natural conclusion--like someone leaves, someone has a thought that ends, and so on so forth. (there's lots of leaving tents in to eden, ok? it's a thing.)

40. if someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see? ooooooh certainly something from to eden, but I have no idea what scene? I think I'd be happy with any of them, honestly.

47. how many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting? a million? a billion? it's an infinite number. all I know is that once my eyes start to cross and my head gets fuzzy when I'm reading over it and any obvious mistakes are gone, it's probably time to post.

57. do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it's finished? Either, really! I edit when I am having a not-so-great writing day typically so I can feel like I am at least achieving something! But in general, the bulk of my editing does happen at the end. But really it’s whatever suites my brain at that moment.

59. does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? If not, would you tell anyone? Aside from my husband, no! Family members know that I do write though, but I just tell them I am "writing fantasy stories for fun", which seems to appease them. I would probably tell someone I felt close to that UNDERSTOOD it, but I don't actually know anyone IRL who writes/reads fanfic believe it or not.

[highqueenofelfhame]

a/n: happy mermay!! this wasn't supposed to be multiple parts but it started getting a little long. it won't be a full length fic but it will have a few parts for it just to keep it from being one insanely long one shot. i hope you enjoy. pls be kind, i haven't written fantasy in a long time or fantasy like this ever. ok bye &lt;3 PS: IF YOUR TAG IS BOLD IT WOULDN'T LET ME TAG YOU!

masterlist // rowaelin // 5.3k words

Of everything that Rowan Whitethorn had ever been called, stupid was never one of them.

Always at the top of his class, he graduated valedictorian in both high school and college. He worked tirelessly to graduate with a double major in oceanography and marine biology. A decade later, he had a doctorate in the former and worked for the most well respected ocean research institute in the world. Rowan himself was said to be one to watch in their community with his passion and tireless research. 

Right now, however, the only word blasting through his brain was stupid stupid stupid while alarms in his submarine wailed for about fifteen different reasons. Frantic fingers flew across the keyboard to access troubleshooting. Everything was going off. His oxygen inside the craft was plummeting, air pressure was rising, something in the back was hissing,  communication with the surface was down, and he had no fucking idea why. 

Five minutes ago he approached the ruins far beneath the waves and was studying animal activity in the middle of the night. It was by the far the dumbest thing he had ever done, going down at night without telling anyone. The submarine was built for two bodies and there was always a team on land surveying everything about the machine in case something went wrong. He knew better, yet something had been calling to him until he found himself pulling on his clothes and boarding alone. Rowan hadn’t even woken anyone up to ask for assistance. It was a trip he had made so many times over the last few months and he didn’t see the harm in going. 

And now the multi-million dollar submarine had managed to hit something incredibly hard while not moving. Nothing had shown up in the radar. One minute he was scribbling notes on lined paper and the next he was launched out of his seat and into the wall. His body was screaming as he pulled himself into the seat to figure out what the hell happened, but he couldn’t see anything. Rowan wondered what kind of chaos was happening above the water. Everyone would be awake by now and realize that both he and the submarine were gone. 

Still panicked, he kept trying and failing to get the back-up oxygen running. He was down to three percent which should have been fucking impossible for how long he had been below. 

At least he was going to die in the ocean. He had loved it so thoroughly since he was a boy, always feeling drawn to the water. At least there was this. 

“Burning hell,” he heard, but it wasn’t his voice. Rowan quickly surveyed the submarine and came to the conclusion that he was alone. But where did that voice come from? The accent was unlike anything he had ever heard but it was so lovely. All rolling letters and curved syllables,  it nearly entranced him. Whoever she was, her voice was the most gorgeous song he had ever heard and there was a tug—

Metal groaned and cracked, popped and exploded to nothing and suddenly he was launched through the water. By the grace of the gods, he managed to get one gulp of air into his lungs before being swept out into the iciest cold he had ever felt. It was pointless. He was going to die. How he hadn’t burst into a billion pieces at exposure to such high water pressure was absolutely beyond him. That one quick breath wouldn’t save him. 

Maybe he was already dead. 

With his body going into shock and the submarine sinking in pieces and chunks to the ocean floor, there was no way he wasn’t one hundred percent a dead man. It didn’t make sense that he hadn’t blown to bits, that he had seemingly stopped flipping and hurtling through the water. Everything around him suddenly felt warm like the ocean was wrapping him in a loving embrace. 

Definitely dead, then. 

If he was still alive against all odds, he didn’t have much time left. Despite being an excellent swimmer with lungs that could sustain him under water for several minutes, he didn’t have the time to get a proper breath. Still, he opened his eyes, rapidly blinking as the salt burned, invisible tears escaping into nothing. He shouldn’t be able to see anything this deep without the lights, and yet… 

Something was glowing. It was a radiant golden light floating closer and closer to where he waded. Which also shouldn’t be possible, but he supposed all bets were off when you were dead. Perhaps this was all a dream and he would wake up soon, haunted by that lovely, lilting voice he didn’t want to forget. 

“I can’t do this for very long,” Gods, that voice. His panic seemed to cease at the sound of it. A sense of calm washed over him and the sudden sensation of air whooshing up his nose had him exhaling the breath he was holding. Rowan blinked again, that blurry orb of bright light turning into a woman. 

Mala burn him alive, he had never seen anyone so beautiful in all his life. Her hair seemed to defy the laws of oceanic gravity, cascading over her shoulders and well below her breasts. With pale skin and a smattering of freckles across her nose, she swam until they were close enough to touch. 

Despite his blurry vision, he could tell her eyes were the color of the purest seas. So vibrantly turquoise there was no way she was human. Light seemed to radiate from within her turning the golden ring in her eyes into molten flame as she appraised him. Her skin cast a dim light around them, those brilliant eyes scanning the area. 

Something deep within him tugged, like a taut piece of string pulling against his ribs, his heart. This is what he had been looking for. This angel was the reason he was so drawn to the ocean and all that dwelled within. 

“I can’t keep giving you oxygen for long,” she told him, concern furrowing her brow. Rowan opened his mouth to ask if she was an angel, to tell her how beautiful she was and that it felt like he’d been pulled toward her his entire life, but water rushed in and forced all of his words back down his throat. “Don’t try to speak. I don’t have long.” 

Dumbly, he nodded his head. He would do anything she asked of him. 

“You have two options and you must decide quickly.” Her pretty words were rushed like she was the one panicking. “You can die and I can return your body to the surface, or I can save you. But if I save you, you’ll be like me. And you will dwell here forever.” 

He was already dead. There was no other explanation. But he cocked his head slightly in a silent question. What did she mean like her?

Thus far in their interaction he hadn’t been able to pull his eyes from her perfect face. His eyes had dipped down to her neck, but no further than that. Something in his mind told him to look, to see, so he took one of their dwindling moments to fully take her in. If he wasn’t dead, he probably would have been surprised. Perhaps he would have yelped and tried to get away, or maybe his brain would have made something up to make him believe what he was seeing. 

Her hair seemed to move from her neck, coiling around to the other side to display what could only be gills just behind her delicately pointed ear. Some sort of shining fabric was wrapped around her breasts. Like her eyes, it was a stunning shade of turquoise that he was convinced had no name and seemed to be fused to her somehow, like scales. Her body was finely sculpted by the gods, all the way down to her navel. There, her skin reflected bits of gold, and lower she—

Where her legs should be was a vibrant, shimmering gold tail. It looked like golden starlight had been melted and wrapped tightly around her body. The fins of her tail swayed idly in the water like molten ore. Similar to some jellyfish, the edges of the main fin had a slightly ruffled quality to them yet looked like the finest gossamer. He couldn’t be sure with his blurry eyes, but it seemed to have a glimmering effect. At her hips she had fins on each side that looked much like the one where her feet might have been if she was human. She was a mermaid. And she was fucking exquisite. 

“I can save you, or take your body home. What do you wish?” 

The answer seemed obvious. Die and let his friends and colleagues find his body, or live forever in heaven with an angel. One that it felt like he’d been looking for his whole life. Maybe that was the death talking. 

Still, he nodded, gesturing toward her. He wanted to ask how she was going to save him, but the words didn’t leave his mouth. Instead, she smiled, pink lips spreading to reveal surprisingly normal teeth. 

“A kiss,” she whispered, her voice a sultry purr as she leaned closer. “Are you sure?”

Rowan nodded as the airflow through his nose grew weaker. How could he say anything but yes to her? To the creature with the voice of a song his heart had been singing forever. As he took his last inhale of the air she gifted him, his nod grew more eager. 

“This is going to hurt, and I am so sorry.” Before he could process her words,  cool lips were pressed against his. 

Something pulled at his insides, but he couldn’t name the feeling. His lips parted when her tongue brushed his lips and she exhaled what could only be liquid flame into his core. Rowan began to thrash about, lightning striking every nerve ending in his body. Aches rumbled deep in his bones and barreled through every pore, that white-hot pain lancing across his skin, his lips, his eyes. Even his hair seemed to hurt as she burned him from the inside out. The pain was so fierce he couldn’t muster the strength to even attempt to restrain her, to shove her away and make her stop. 

Through the pain his body bowed, back in a tight arch that felt like his spine would splinter into thousands of pieces. Color exploded behind his eyes as whatever fire she breathed into his lungs took root. Paralyzation took over and he couldn’t move, the only solace to the heat being the frigid water surrounding them. 

Rowan might have been screaming to no one and nothing, and she might have been devouring his very soul. Even when the pain became so blinding that consciousness was no longer an option, her poisoned mouth stayed glued to his. 

He had always heard that beautiful things were deadly. It couldn’t be more true about the creature stealing his soul. All he knew was pure agony when the freezing darkness of the ocean swept in, claiming another life to her mysterious depths.

~*~ 

When Aelin awoke she was nestled on a bed of kelp and seagrass. The sickly-white bioluminescence told her enough about where she was without having to really look around: the infirmary. It wasn’t the first time she had woken up here with twinges of pain throughout her body and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. It was, however, the first time she couldn’t place why she was there. 

In true Aedion fashion, he was lounging on a rock with a solemn glare aimed at her. Aelin winced as she sat up and adjusted her weight. One of her fins had been caught beneath her for what felt like entirely took long. She frowned at the wrinkle, at the thing that seemed different about herself that she couldn’t place before looking at her cousin. 

“What the hell happened?”

“You don’t remember?” 

“Not particularly, no. Some grand adventure of mine turned a little sour, I suppose.” They often did much to her family’s eternal dismay. It wasn’t that she went looking for trouble, she just had a penchant for finding it. 

“The submarine? The explosion? The man? Your kiss? Any of that ringing any bells, sweetheart?” Bright memories clanged through her at his words and she started, twisting and turning to find the man from the vessel. 

Her heart both soared and sank at the sight of him several beds over. Considering that he was already finished with his transformation and sleeping soundly, it meant that she, too, had been unconscious for at least two days. Maybe three. 

What a glorious transformation it was, though. Her aching body pushed her through the water to his side, her fingers weaving into the seagrass as she came to a stop. Gills fluttered gently as he breathed, his long silver hair fanned out around his head like a halo. The clothes he had been wearing when she found him were gone. A bronze sculpted chest expanded with every breath and occasionally his eyes and fingers twitched. The tattoo he had as a human remained, but where the ink had once been a flat black, it now flashed with blues and greens beneath the lights. It had expanded to crawl up his neck and feathered along his jaw, the edges of it wrapped around his ears like tiny tentacles. Fascinating. The gauntlet of scales that started at his wrist and crawled up his forearms were of the same coloring as his tale, all vibrant shades of silver, gold, green and bright blue. 

Then there was his tail. While hers was all golden with turquoise throughout, his was primarily her favorite shade of green. About halfway down it faded to a darker emerald with sparkling silver and gold shooting throughout. Aelin’s scales were flatter, more silken to the touch. The ones of his fin were thicker and more defined, similar to how Aedion’s were.  He had very defined boning through his bottoms fins, the webbing between iridescent hues of pine, starlight, and the purest ocean water. In short, he was beautiful, and she was positive she could write an essay about him if she tried. 

“Has he woken up at all?”

“Not yet, but his vitals are steady and healthy. He should wake up soon, though. Probably good that you woke up first.” Aelin nodded in agreement, curling her hands into fists to keep herself from touching him. “Are you going to tell me what the hell happened to make you give him your kiss?” 

“I know what it looks like, and it’s not that,” she blurted, perching on the edge of the man’s bed. It looked like she lured him out of the submarine to seal his fate below the waves. While she had spent the last several months enthralled by him and the work he did, she didn’t kiss him lightly. It wasn’t a simple decision to make, and it was one that few mer ever risked. 

Aedion arched an eyebrow, his fins moving in a way that told her she was impatient. Aelin sighed heavily, running her fingers through permanently silky strands. 

“He got too close to the city. The defenses went off and when I tried to shove them out of the way, it was too late. It rocked the back half to the vessel and sent all the mechanics into a tizzy. He was going to die.” 

“He’s doing work that could kill us all,” Aedion reminded her. It was a harsh truth she wanted to ignore. Something about this man was different from all the others that had ever studied their kingdom. Humans saw it as a cluster of ruins. In reality it was one of the seven thriving kingdoms that dwelled at the bottom of the ocean. A kingdom that she was the princess of. 

While many oceanographers tried, and failed, to get too close to document the ruins, this man had always made his team stay far enough back that no damage would be caused. Even on the night that the world went to hell, he was a respectable distance away until a current pushed him a little too close. Aelin had been watching all these months, though. The man was incredibly intelligent and cared greatly about the ocean and her creatures. She spent hours watching him while he scanned what he believed he saw, scribbling notes in a little book. Most often he had a golden or onyx-haired companion with him. It was always this one that was most cautious and respectful about the marine life, though. 

The lost Kingdom of Terrasen was only a myth because it had never existed on land to begin with. Legend says a thousand different things about how it wound up on the bottom of the ocean, leading generations of scientists to dive deep below to try and find the forgotten city. Most of the time, the defenses of the kingdom would wipe memories and send people far away. Some of them forgot what they were doing in the water to begin with, some forgot who they were entirely. Their wards were temperamental and it all depended on the heart of the person hunting them. 

For the first time ever, when this man was on board the submarine, they were allowed to see the ruins of what might have been. It confused everyone, her father included. Even the king didn’t have control over what the wards permitted people to see or what knowledge they might walk away with. This man and his team had been chosen for the smallest amount of exposure. The only catch, it seemed, was that they couldn’t nail down exact coordinates and there were days between visits because they got lost. 

The night he appeared entirely alone, however, it was like he knew exactly where to go. Like the magic of the lands were whispering to him, guiding him almost to their doorstep. It was the first time he had ever gotten much too close and it almost cost him his life. That wasn’t entirely his fault, there truly had been a current that moved the ship just enough that it triggered major defense systems. If Aelin hadn’t tried to knock the blast out of the way, he would have been dead before she could intervene. 

She looked back down at his handsome, sleeping face and held in a sigh before looking back at Aedion. “You know that the magic sings to him.”

“Is it the magic, or has it been you?” 

Aelin scowled. Sirens were relatives of the mer, and liked to lure men to tragic deaths. Somewhere in their shared Ashryver bloodline were siren powers. They never really used them. Speaking to this man to save his life was the first time she had ever put the full force of it in her voice, and it had only been to calm him down. 

“You know it wasn’t me,” she said, twisting to look back down at him.

“You gave him your kiss.”

“I gave him the option of death or life, and he chose life. So of course I gave it to him.” A mer’s kiss was as much of a legend as the merfolk themselves. Most of the stories were watered down versions of the truth. None of them were exactly correct, yet they weren’t wholly wrong. 

Many of them claimed you would be given magic of your own or healing powers. Most implied it could be done over and over, and that to take a kiss from a mer was to sell your soul. The last part was kind of true. To take a kiss was to become a mer, but it was a little more complicated than that. 

Each mer only had one true kiss to give. Typically it was given to humans, though some had been known to give it to other creatures of the deep. It was a heavy decision on the mer because of the repercussions. That other life would be immortally bound to theirs, half of any magic the possessed transferring to the other being in the process. The elders said it was because the magic was the only way most could survive the transformation, and after witnessing it with her own eyes, she understood why.

Aelin had always known that it would be painful on both parts. For the man she saved, it seemed to ring true. She had never seen that kind of blind terror on anyone’s face, had never been able to feel such raw, visceral pain coming from another being as clearly as if it were her own. The few mer that she knew were Made had once said it was like having every part of you ripped out and made new, but it depended on what magic the other possessed. Among a few smaller healing gifts, Aelin had liquid flame that nobody could really explain. It had to have been agony. 

For her, she felt parts of herself she didn’t know existed splintering apart. The tangible feeling of her magic being torn from her body was painful enough, and she wouldn’t have been able to pull away from him if she tried. Her bones still ached like she’d been slammed into the sandy floor over and over. Maybe she had. At some point she lost consciousness and then woke up in the infirmary with her glaring cousin at her side. 

And then there was that other thing she had felt. Like a harp string between their bodies shining golden in the dark, plucking a song she swore she had heard her entire existence. Most merfolk didn’t risk giving their kiss away. The costs were simply too high for them unless they found their true mate. Looking down at the handsome face beside her, feeling that vibrant bond between them, she couldn’t help but wonder if the wards had been so forgiving of the man because his heart sang their princess’s song. 

“Aedion, I think…” Words were tangled in knots that she couldn’t speak.

“I know. We all knew. Look at his tail and yours.” Aelin swished her lower fin up, gasping at the brilliant shades of green that shimmered in the bioluminescence of the infirmary. Where her tail used to be just gold and blue like her eyes, green was now infused effortlessly. Near her bottom tail, the gold speckled then blended into turquoise. Now green made the fade all the more seamless and complete. The delicate webbing that layered upon itself in a ruffled-like display had vibrant bands of green melted effortlessly with her natural coloring. As fuzzy as her mind had been when she woke, it was insane to think she had missed the green and silver scales speckled through what had once been solid gold. Even the fins at her hips and her forearms matched the lower one. 

When she looked back down at his tail she felt silly for not seeing it before. Those blue hues were exactly the color of her eyes, of her scales and webbing. Even the gold was identical to hers and that was rare. Not even Aedion’s or her parent’s shades of gold were a perfect match. 

The sleeping man was her mate. It was wholly undeniable. 

Hours passed, her mother and father coming to check on her not long after her revelation. Neither were angry with her, though she wouldn’t have blamed them if they were. Both were just relieved that she was okay and still breathing, and promised they would figure out the next steps together. 

“Let us know when your prince wakes,” her mother said, a knowing look twinkling in her eyes. Prince. Because he was now a prince of the most powerful kingdom in the ocean. Gods above. 

Aelin stayed perched on his bedside, tail swishing anxiously while she waited for him to rouse from sleep. She had just finished a seaweed snack when she heard a deep inhale beside her. When she looked over, she was gazing into bewildered but bright green eyes. 

“Hello,” she said, pushing off the bed to give him his space. Hints of fear were speckled in his eyes, the smell of his heart rate spiking beneath his skin heady in its own way. Her fins swayed idly to keep her in place, the ribbon-like tendrils at her hips reaching for him. It was almost like her magic and her body recognized him as belonging to her. 

The man was quiet, bleary eyes blinking up at her. One of his hands waved in front of his face as though realizing he was underwater, breathing, and alive. Wonder and amazement crossed over his features before he looked back at her. 

“Am I dead?” His voice was prettier without machinery warping his words. Aelin bit down on her lip and glanced away, trying to bite back a smile. 

“No. You are quite alive, but not the same as you were. Are you in pain?” Those green eyes didn’t stray from her face as if he couldn’t look away. 

“I’m sore.” Aelin nodded, parting her lips to respond when he asked, “Where am I?”

“In one of the infirmary towers of the palace.”

“Underwater?” Bewildered, his eyes flew around the room. He probably expected ruins, and was instead greeted by pristine walls made of seashells and rows of beds. Beyond the doorway behind them was an extensive supply of medicinal plants and herbs. 

“We were never lost, just never wanted to be found. You are the first human to ever see it as ruins. I’m afraid that your research won’t reflect that. The magic only seemed to like you and I can’t imagine your colleagues will remember what they saw down here.” Aelin’s smile was sad and her heart ached for what he lost. From his human life to the career and research that he seemed to love so much.

“I think I died. And that you might be an angel of death,” he said slowly, the memories seeping from his mind down that new bond they shared. Aelin could feel his fear of her, even as she shook her head.

“I know it felt like I was trying to kill you, but believe me when I say it was the only way to save you. My powers.. I have great strengths, but I also have weaknesses. My healing magic is few and far between and I only have so much to give. I wouldn’t have been able to sustain your oxygen levels for the ascent despite how fast I can swim. You would have been dead before we broke the surface.” She hated the dread on his face. Hated how much he wanted to believe none of this was true. Still, he hadn’t looked away from her to see what he had become. Aelin wondered if he could feel it, if he knew, or if he still felt the phantom of his human limbs. 

“Are you an angel?” His eyes dipped to her throat then back to her face. The Adam’s apple in his throat bobbed and she wondered if it was the gills that got that reaction from him. 

“I think you know what I am,” she said, swishing her tail hard enough that he had to view it in all its glory, not just out of his periphery. “Just like I think you know what you now are.”

His eyes were roving over every scale, every shimmering, shiny inch of her body. She held still while he drank every piece of her in, his mouth parted in surprise. One hard swallow later and he was gaping down at his lower half like he couldn’t make sense of what he was seeing. 

Some mer chose to take this part away after the kiss. Truthfully, she hadn’t thought about it too much, but was now wishing that she had. So many emotions were flying across his face entirely unfiltered, so quickly she couldn’t make sense of them all. 

“What’s your name?” Her hands toyed with the ends of her hair just to have something to do. 

“I— Rowan. Rowan Whitethorn.” His eyes darted to her body and back to his. 

“Rowan,” she whispered, two syllables turning over sweetly in her mouth. “My name is Aelin. I’m the princess of what you call the Lost Kingdom of Terrasen.”

“Bullshit,” he blurted, shooting upright and looking around the room. His hands were braced on the bed, the kelp and seagrass trapped beneath his fingers. 

“When you’re feeling better I’ll show you everything. Anything you want to see or do, it’s yours. But I would rather wait until the residual pain has faded because swimming long distances—”

“What did you do to me?” 

“I saved your life the only way that I could. I told you it would make you like me.” She hated that her tears, thicker than water and shining in her eyes like oyster shells, were burning her eyes. Soon they would be falling down her cheeks like lost pearls. 

“I thought I was dead,” he argued, the beautiful lines of his face hard and unforgiving. 

“You would have been if I didn’t shield your human body from the pressure, the cold, and your submarine exploding into pieces,” she fought back, hands in fists and voice on edge. Aelin was known for having quite the temper when the right buttons were pushed.

“Maybe you should have let me die. Everything I loved is above the surface.” It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did. It felt like the spindly thorns of a lionfish pricking venom into her skin. Her jaw clenched, sharper teeth sliding out from her gums. The sharp tang of blood filled her mouth as she bit the tip of her tongue. They were a defense mechanism, sometimes used for certain meals, but in moments like this she had little control over their appearance. Her body and magic thought she was in danger so they were giving her the tools to protect herself. 

“I gave you the choice. It was your choice. I—” Aelin turned and fixed her eyes on one of the bioluminescent lanterns on the wall. She didn’t need him seeing those shark-like teeth and becoming more fearful than he already was. “Do you want me to take it away?”

“What?” 

“The memory, the pain, all of it. I can take it away. But I want that to be your choice. You can hate me if you wish, or I can take it away and you won’t remember your life before.”

Technically he could do it himself, too, but informing him that he now had different kinds of magic flowing through his veins right now didn’t seem like the best idea. Rowan was quiet, fingers tracing over his brand new scales where his knees used to be. Aelin keenly watched him out of the corner of her eye until those teeth sunk back into her gums and she felt his eyes turn back on her.

“No,” he finally said. “No, I don’t want to forget.”

“I know there is going to be a lot of adjustment for you. I want to make it as easy as possible. Your rooms will be next to mine and I’m at your disposal. Should you need me, just call for me and I’ll come. For now, I’m going to find something to eat for the both of us. If you’ll excuse me.” Before he could even open his mouth to object, she used a blast of her power to propel her through the open archway that led into the hall.

While she was going to find him food, those tears were getting a little too close to falling from the tension. It had been a long few days, an even longer few hours of being awake. Not only was she feeling all of her own emotions, but his were thrown into the mix, too. A moment to breathe in the salty water would be enough to ground her. 

Her pace only slowed when she was far enough away that it felt safe to sink onto the sandy floor and cry until the frustration began to drift away on a slow current. 

@fancysludgeshoelamp @kritical24 @readandlisten @icantfindmychashma @westofmoon @helwanderer @latenighthazymusings @lululululululuop @rowanaelinn @drywhiskers @constant-disappointment-and-gay @throneofus7 @princess-rumi-blog1 @the-regal-warrior @holdthefrickup @baby-babayaga @althelkingshorses @empress-ofbloodshed-writing @earthtolinds @lunadorned @adrianaslv @lunarwitch25 @superspiritfestivall @larisssss @renxzs  @1islessthan3books @darknessofoceans @autumnbabylon @backtobl4ck @aelinchocolatelover @besiber24 @s-uppertime @livingmylifeforme @tothestarsandwhateverend @kritical24 @sleeping-and-books @carranam-mates @fireheart-violet @aelinchocolatelover   @basicbittywitty  @goddess-aelin @shyvioletcat @punkassbookjockey26

[fictionkinfessions]

looking at the tag for our source on this blog and seeing it’s 99% siffrins lamenting being lonely is so. yeah that’s fitting. we went through all that trouble and for what??? none of our family is here apparently! we lost them Again! because i guess we don’t blinding deserve that! it’s just siffrin and siffrin and miserable siffrin over and over again. i saw maybe one isa in the tag and my heart melted a little just knowing he’s out there at all even if i’m never going to get to talk to him or hug him or hold his sweaty hands ever again. stars

which, like, i get it.i can see why so many people have flocked to him. i’m not upset about the fact that there’s so many sifs around, i love y’all and i am holding your hands in solidarity forever and ever ok. i love talking to doubles and seeing how things went differently between us (my friend who also kins him didn’t lose the whole eyeball can you believe that. they still have the eyeball. they’re blind in it but they didn’t need to get it completely removed from the socket!!! incredible! i feel cheated out of an eyeball) and just generally getting that experience of talking to yourself even if it’ll never be to the degree that it was between me and loop. i love it. i loved that story and i still do

but it still makes my heart hurt a little knowing that there’s so many of us and so little of our family out there in comparison? i feel like understudy #73848955793. even if a blinding miracle happens and i meet ANYONE from my canon who wasn’t me (save for loop lmao) the odds that they’ll be My family member feels. like next to nothing. i feel so alone. i’m a nobody again. i’m scared. i’m a nobody in a sea of nobodies. i miss them so much. i’m never going to see my family again the universe put me through all that torture and left me broken and i didn’t even get to keep them in the end. they’re gone. forever. i’m never going to. hhrgghhh. loop i think i am understanding you more now than i ever did back then. i’m so sorry

i was already the worse siffrin when there were only the two of us in the world. me and loop. loop was so much better than me. brighter. they made it through 10x the amount of loops i did without breaking and they did it completely alone in a worse version of the house with a worse king. and they still did better than me. and still had the capacity to care about me their little copy who stole everything from them and wasn’t even grateful about it! and now it’s like. wow. i am now the worse siffrin out of a Billion other siffrins. no wonder my family was taken from me again. im truly the last of us who deserves them. i’m never going to see them again i

stars i miss them. i miss them so much. i miss you loop i miss you isa i miss you mira and bonbon and odile i miss you!!!!!!! what did i do wrong!!!!!!!! besides literally everything i’ve ever done!!!!!!

the universe leads!!!!!!! and i have no blinding choice but to follow it into this miserable half-life of a half-life. it’s. mmmmmm

i miss my family!!!

- siffrin

x

[intertexts]

anyway nhw dynamic essay i am NOT going to fucking. type out all of this at once. it is 1am. but. yayyyayayay!!

>starting out w/ ashe & virion because i have been having Thoughts on them........... b4 the trickster they are already good friends-- it's a little awkward at first bc oh shit virion is really cool and kind of scary, i dunno if he likes me, i think he and william are a thing and i've been spending a lot of time with william lately. but that doesn't last long, maybe until the first time they're in some minor scuffle and imprint takes a hit for him. & ashe goes ohhh fuck. maybe he doesn't hate me? & then it turns out that virion is-- well, yeah, he is kind of quiet and intimidating (the horrors! the goofiness was closer to the surface before his family. well.) and hard to make laugh, but they're kind of similar. the quietness is frequently masking awkwardness or not knowing what to do or say in some situation, and they're both so clueless as to normal person stuff (wibby and dakota make some reference to public school shit & virion & ashe make 'do you believe this shit?' eye contact over their heads.) & they're both massive nerds. after all of the horrors, everything virion liked playing was covered in The Ooze, and also he was. living with a gun in his hand and sleeping for no more than two hours max at once with his eyes open and Killing People and doing dirty work for a year or so. grew up pretty fucking fast. didn't have much time for jrpgs anymore. anyway i think he eventually sees ashe on their couch playing pokemon or smth on his switch n just gravitates over. sits on the couch back and watches the animal crossing island ashe is running like the fucking navy or whatever. it becomes a thing. ashe gets him really into shin megami tensei (<- this one is just for me i just thing he'd like smt. relevant 2 mac's thoughts on ashe & horror etc!). they're the ones reluctantly tagging along with dakota & wibby's ridiculous shit & talking super quietly with their heads kinda close together. they'd be really good roommates.

after ashe returns from the trickster-- ok getting sidetracked thinking abt this LMAO. but. i think being muse for so long fucks ashe UP. it takes... a long time. the strain of being forced in his breaker form for as long as he was had consequences!! he did not come out of that as abled as he went in! & also the trickster turning his mind into soup for a year or so fucked with his head severely. get lobotomized idiot. and also. well. the everything else. anyway, i think for the first while when he comes back he dissociates a lot. loses significant amounts of time frequently. has derealization issues. has delusions related to the "hey that guy controlled my body for a year and change and before that he stalked me for god knows how long and always knew exactly where i was and i kept running into him" thing. panics frequently and messily. gets migraines. gets bad & debilitating flashbacks. is back to having 10 billion hangups about his powers. anyway anyway anyway virion.. understands, a lot of this. in a way that wibby & dakota don't. not that they haven't seen awful shit and had awful shit done to them!! but virion is the one who watched his entire family slaughtered in front of him. he's the one who's killed people. he knows what it's like to be okay and maybe happy and one day something fucking breaks, and you'll just. never be the same again. never get that back again, never be who u were before. (dakota was like, 7/8 when he triggered. virion was 15/16.) and he understands the grief & the paranoia & the brain static & the losing time & the fear. so virion gets it. ashe knows that virion is very very scary and very very alert and virion took a crowbar or something for him after knowing him for a couple weeks. so if, like, there's anyone to feel safe around... it's him. ashe's fine motor control is not so good for a while and he's terrified of using his telekinesis, so now it's virion playing animal crossing and ashe watching. he has a fucking awful island it's dogshit it's so funny. virion's good to fall asleep on. they hold hands if they have to go out somewhere. etc. shoutout 2 virion sol & all the emos he keeps picking up & wanting to kill people for. gayass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kny111]

New York would create a commission to consider reparations to address the lingering, negative effects of slavery under a bill passed by the state Legislature on Thursday.

"We want to make sure we are looking at slavery and its legacies," said state Assemblywoman Michaelle Solages before the floor debate. "This is about beginning the process of healing our communities. There still is generational trauma that people are experiencing. This is just one step forward."

The state Assembly passed the bill about three hours after spirited debate on Thursday. The state Senate passed the measure hours later, and the bill will be sent to New York Gov. Kathy Hochul for consideration.

New York would be following the lead of California, which became the first state to form a reparations task force in 2020. That group recommended a formal apology from the state on its legacy of racism and discriminatory policies and the creation of an agency to provide a wide range of services for Black residents. They did not recommend specific payments amounts for reparations.[1]

The New York legislation would create a commission that would examine the extent to which the federal and state governments supported the institution of slavery.[2] It would also address persistent economic, political and educational disparities experienced by Black people in the state today.

According to the New York bill, the first enslaved Africans arrived at the southern tip of Manhattan Island, then a Dutch settlement, around the 1620s and helped build the infrastructure of New York City. While the state Legislature enacted a statute that gave freedom to enslaved Africans in New York in 1817, it wasn't implemented until 10 years later.[3]

"I'm concerned we're opening a door that was closed in New York State almost 200 years ago,"[4] said Republican state Assemblymember Andy Gooddell during floor debates on the bill. Gooddell, who voted against the measure, said he supports existing efforts to bring equal opportunity to all and would like to "continue on that path rather than focus on reparations."[5]

In California, the reparations task force said in their report that the state is estimated to be responsible for more than $500 billion due to decades of over-policing, mass incarceration and redlining that kept Black families from receiving loans and living in certain neighborhoods. California's state budget last year was $308 billion.[6] Reparations in New York could also come with a hefty price tag.

The commission would be required to deliver a report one year after its first meeting. The panel's recommendations, which could potentially include monetary compensation for Black people,[7] would be non-binding. The legislature would not be required to take the recommendations up for a vote.

New York Assembly Speaker Carl Heastie, who is the first Black person to hold the position, called the legislation "historic."[8]

Heastie, the governor and the legislative leader in the state Senate would each appoint three members to the commission.[9]

Other state legislatures that have considered studying reparations include New Jersey and Vermont, but none have passed legislation yet.[10] The Chicago suburb in Evanston, Illinois, became the first city to make reparations available to Black residents through a $10 million housing project in 2021.[11]

On the federal level, a decades-old proposal to create a commission studying reparations has stalled in Congress.[12]

Some critics of reparations by states say that while the idea is well-intentioned, it can be misguided.[13]

William Darity, a professor of public policy and African and African American Studies at Duke University said even calling them reparations is "presumptuous," since it's virtually impossible for states to meet the potentially hefty payouts.[14]

He said the federal government has the financial capacity to pay true reparations and that it should be the party that is responsible.[15]

"My deeper fear with all of these piecemeal projects is that they actually will become a block against federal action because there will be a number of people who will say there's no need for a federal program," Darity said. "If you end up settling for state and local initiatives, you settle for much less than what is owed."[16] K, Blog Admin notes: [1] This is useful because it's attempting institutionalization of the divestment in needing money to solve the issue of slavery reparations and instead aims to provide a means to account for such a system by way of adhering to necessities. This seems like a legislative path to that. A formal apology is well overdue so the creation of these institutions, paired with divestment in money (which are literal enslavement notes) makes for said apology more effective and honest.

[2] Correct, slavery is handled and supported to this day at a state and federal level. Any strategies aimed at changing this enslavement system requires changes at both state and federal levels, otherwise what's the point? [3] Legislature like the one in 1817 what it did was make enslavement go covert while continuing to operate with the same engine. Which is why we need to correct any semblance of it existing by abolishing institutions that were created from slavery and repurpose ones sabotaged by past and existing pro slavery legislature. Reparations fixes itself to do just that.

[4] Read [3] because slavery's door was never shut. There's never been enough evidence, something I hope this legislature corrects, with regards to presenting when this "end of slavery" ever occurred. As far as everyone experiencing this god awful system is concerned slavery continued just fine.

[5] Slavery as a system created such a historical inequivalence for all involved that a path has never honestly been formed to claim we're all equal. How can we "continue" on something we've never even established?

[6] Translation: The enslavers who own this system over us and invested so much in slavery can't put their money where their labor is. This is our issue how? Legislature like this will help correct that.

[7] I would hope that this conversation around monetary compensation and reparations from enslavement systems involves a divestment plan from a currency note that has factual connections to and will continue to be looked at as an enslaver note to those who study slavery historically. So this might look like an institution that can help communities divest from ever even needing to use money due to their systemic connections to slavery.

[8] This legislature is needed and overdue, I wouldn't call it historic yet. People within government tend to have a low bar for what's historic and epic.

[9] Not enough people. 3 is not enough. This is a ridiculously low amount considering how easy it can be to sabotage this work as they have in the past, this increases that chance. They need more community input. Otherwise, what's the point?

[10] Further implicating these states with systemic slavery.

[11] Not enough for similar reasons that a slaver creating their own paper and telling you to live off of it is not enough to stop slavery.

[12] So the one thing that did have a semblance of working, you let it rock there, doing nothing? Seems like an institutional trend.

[13] How? Explain using evidence in the same way we abolitionists use evidence to prove slavery is not needed.

[14] Agreed, and they don't have the capacity to make their enslaver dollars mean much into the future. Money temporarily becomes pay outs which are like the apology letter you include system changes with otherwise its just enslavers recycling their image.. AGAIN.

[15] Agreed, but I hope this doesn't mean shift in focus from what needs to structurally change at a state level and what these types of legislature can do. I think federal changes should come with state strategizing as well.

[16] see [14] and [15]

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Signe Wilkinson

* * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

April 20, 2024

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

APR 21, 2024

Cheering broke out in the gallery and among Democrats on the floor of the House of Representatives this afternoon when the House passed the $60.8 billion aid bill for Ukraine. The vote was 311–112, with all Democrats and 101 Republicans voting in favor and 112 Republicans voting against. One Republican voted present. 

The House also voted on the three other bills that will be packaged with the Ukraine bill as a single measure to go in front of the Senate. The House voted in favor of providing $8.1 billion in support for Taiwan and the Indo-Pacific by a vote of 385–34. It approved more than $26 billion for Israel, including $9.2 billion in humanitarian aid not specifically for Gaza but for populations in crisis, by a vote of 366–58. And it voted 360–58 to place additional sanctions on Iran, seize Russian assets, and require the Chinese owners of TikTok to sell the company within nine months if they want it to continue to be available on U.S. app stores.  

The total price tag of the measures is about $95.3 billion. About $50 billion of it will be used here in the U.S. to replenish the supplies that will go abroad. 

Senate majority leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) says the Senate will take up the measure on Tuesday. Senators had gone home for recess but will come back to vote. The Department of Defense says it is ready to rush crucial supplies as soon as it gets the go-ahead. "We have a very robust logistics network that enables us to move material very quickly; as we've done in the past, we can move within days," Pentagon press secretary Air Force Major General Pat Ryder said Thursday.  

Aid to Ukraine has been stalled since Biden first asked for it in October 2023. First, MAGA Republicans said they would never pass such a national security supplemental bill until the U.S. addressed the need for better security at the country’s southern border. Senators, including Republican James Lankford (R-OK) took them at their word and hammered out a strong border security measure, only to have Republicans reject it when Trump demanded they preserve border security as a campaign issue. The Senate then passed the national security supplemental bill without a border measure, but that was back in February. Although it was clear the measure would pass the House, Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) has steadfastly refused to take it up. 

Meanwhile, countries around the globe have been stepping into the breach, providing funds and weapons for Ukraine as Ukraine’s war effort has faltered without U.S. war matériel.

Suddenly, the dam has broken. 

The MAGA extremists who oppose aid to Ukraine expressed anger over the measure’s passage, but outside of that group, there was bipartisan relief and mutual congratulations. The chair of the Foreign Affairs Committee, Representative Michael McCaul (R-TX), who has been vocal in his belief that Republicans have fallen prey to Russian propaganda, compared today’s vote to the period before World War II, when British prime minister Neville Chamberlain tried to appease dictator Adolf Hitler in 1938 by agreeing to Germany’s annexation of the Sudetenland. To Chamberlain’s successor, Winston Churchill, fell the task of fighting World War II. 

“Our adversaries are watching us here today, and history will judge us on our actions here today,” McCaul said. “So as we deliberate on this vote, you have to ask yourself: Am I Chamberlain or am I Churchill?”

House minority leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) said: “For months, the national security priorities of the American people have been obstructed by pro-Putin extremists determined to let Russia win. A bipartisan coalition of Democrats and Republicans has risen up to work together and ensure that we are getting the national security legislation important to the American people over the finish line.”

Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin also released a statement welcoming the passage of the measure. “This bipartisan legislation will allow the Department to surge lifesaving security assistance to help Ukraine defend itself from Russia’s aggression, support Israel’s defense from Iran and its proxies, and increase the flow of urgently needed humanitarian aid to suffering Palestinians in Gaza.” It is also, he wrote, “an important investment in America's future.”  

President Joe Biden said that “members of both parties in the House voted to advance our national security interests and send a clear message about the power of American leadership on the world stage. At this critical inflection point, they came together to answer history’s call, passing urgently-needed national security legislation that I have fought for months to secure.” 

The reiteration of the bipartisan nature of the vote suggests support for the idea that the breaking dam refers not just to the national security supplemental bill but also to the power of MAGA Republicans more generally. Representative Tom Cole (R-OK) suggested this interpretation in an interview today with Ryan Lizza of Politico. 

MAGAs are Trump loyalists, counting on his return to power, and Trump is visibly diminished. For the last week, he has been sitting in a courtroom with no choice but to do as he is told by the judge while potential jurors have expressed their dislike of him to his face. This is novel for him, and it is clearly taking a toll. 

Trump’s financial troubles have not gone away, either. Yesterday, New York attorney general Letitia James asked a judge to void the $175 million appeals bond Trump posted to secure the $454 million judgment against him in the business fraud case. She says that the defendants have failed to show that there is enough collateral behind the bond to secure it. She has asked for a replacement bond within a week. Without a bond, James can begin to seize Trump’s property. 

Since Republicans took control of the House, Republican leaders have had to turn to Democrats to find the votes to pass crucial legislation like the national security supplemental bill, preventing a U.S. default, and funding the government. Republicans interested in governing and eager to protect the institutions of democracy appear to be getting fed up with the attention-seeking and bomb-throwing MAGA faction that refuses to do the work of governing. 

That frustration might have been on display when the House also voted on a fifth measure: a border bill the extremist Republicans demanded. Because it was considered under a suspension of the rules, it needed a two-thirds majority to pass. The measure failed with a vote of 215–211. Aaron Reichlin-Melnick, a lawyer with the American Immigration Council advocacy group, noted that the last time the House voted on a similar measure, it got 219 votes. This time it got fewer votes, even with an added $9.5 billion for Texas, Florida, and other states that are restricting immigrants’ rights. 

In The Atlantic today, David Frum noted the changing U.S. political dynamic and, referring  to the Ukraine vote, wrote: “On something that mattered intensely to [Trump]—that had become a badge of pro-Trump identity—Trump’s own party worked with Democrats in the House and Senate to hand him a stinging defeat. This example could become contagious.” In other words, he said: “Ukraine won. Trump lost.”

For his part, leading Russian politician Dmitry Medvedev had his own reaction to the House’s passage of the national security supplemental bill with aid for Ukraine. He vowed that Russia would win the war anyway and added: “[C]onsidering the russophobic decision that took place I can't help but wish the USA with all sincerity to dive into a new civil war themselves as quickly as possible. Which, I hope, will be very different from the war between North and South in the 19th century and will be waged using aircraft, tanks, artillery, MLRS, all types of missiles and other weapons. And which will finally lead to the inglorious collapse of the vile evil empire of the 21st century—the United States of America.”

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON