#i don’t know where to go
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my pain was too much for everyone * alyssacarry
#my pain was too much for everyone#alyssacarry#my poem#my poetry#my writing#writing#poetry#art#writing art#art in writing#poems#sadness#pain#I’m really hurting#I don’t know where to go#I’m lost#painful art#depression writing#poems about sadness#rbisok
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what if your doppelgänger wasn’t evil it was just a person. what if your doppelgänger wasn’t trying to replace you it was just trying to learn to be a person and you were the best model it had. what if your doppelgänger looked at you with your eyes and said with your voice that it just wanted to be loved. what then.
#aelan speaks#fornax cain#fun fact i used to think imposter syndrome was more literal#not so much “i don’t deserve this good thing and i’ve somehow tricked people into thinking i do”#but more like “i am straight up not a person and everyone knows it”#“and i am TRYING to be a person but i can’t get it right and they all KNOW and i should not be here but i don’t know where else to go”#anyway i was a normal child
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The day that you left, something shifted.
I didn’t realize just how much I needed you, how much I loved you, until you were gone.
You left no trace behind, just forgotten plans and promises. Broken aspirations.
You were my best friend, my one true confidant, and then you were gone.
And now I’m alone again…
I’ve been alone my whole life. I thought I had gotten used to the solitude. My hands were calloused and rough after years of fighting off loneliness and sorrow with just my fists. I loved being alone, I reveled in my own company.
And then you came around and we could spend days at a time together. Laughing, talking, smoking in silence.
I thought we’d always be like that.
But then you had to go.
And I understand that it was for your own good. I comprehend that you were breaking down in the dark alone. I get that you had to go so you didn’t lose yourself completely.
But I always thought you’d come back.
Eventually.
That you’d come back to me and we could be as we were.
It breaks my heart that we can never go back to that.
And I’m not mad at you. I never could be. But I’m so lonely without you and I don’t know how not to be. I sit with my family, my roommates, my closest friends, and I’m swimming in the abyss an ocean away.
I wish I could go back. I wish I could find myself again. I wish you never left.
I wish I hadn’t either.
— For Mia
#written word#my best friend left before I could tell them they were my best friend#poetry#for Mia#i miss you#original poem#lonliness#alone in the dark#my lantern had gone out#i don’t know where to go#sadgirl
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I need Battison to have a Robin.
I need him to carry around a little bundle of joy in his arms. I need him to risk his life saving him from the movie’s big bad. I need him to hold his tiny hands or cradle his tiny face. I need him to crack the smallest of smiles when Robin makes a pun.
I need him to walk into the penthouse, tired and angry and sad, and see his little Robin sprawled across the floor, giggling as his crayons draw him and Alfie and B—their little family.
I him to crawl out of the darkness with Robin. His Robin.
#and I know this version of Alfred will call Dick birdie#I can imagine Dick being captured by a villain and Battison just going fucking mental#and then he gets to his kid and hugs him so so tight and his eyes are shut because he was terrified and he presses his face in Dick’s curls#I don’t know where this came from#maybe I’m depressed?#maybe I need to rewatch the Batman?#dc#dc comics#bruce wayne#batman#batfamily#dick grayson#batfamily headcannons#battinson#robert pattinson batman#the batman#matt reeves#robert pattinson#make battinson a dad I’m begging you
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every time I say “starting nooooow I won’t have any major expenses” something HAPPENS! there’s raw sewage backing up from my drains, and apparently the plumbers will need to break the floor and the wall to get to the pipes and fix it.
if the cat stuff hadn’t wiped out my bank account, this would be annoying but manageable. as it is…..I’m going to try to get everything up in the store for Friday.
#it’s hard because I’m trying not to push myself too hard with mono#the nerve damage stuff is scary#so I’m doing my best to have a zen attitude about all these goings on#but like another surprise 3.5k expense?? how is anyone supposed to live in this world?#there will reach a point where I’m forced to sell this house.#because I don’t know how much longer I can do this all#sorry to be nothing but complaints recently. but things have been hard!
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Starting off by saying I hate “mom Danny” bc it tends to be p transphobic and misgendering, so if anyone adds it to my post I’m blocking them.
Tim making his Kon clone baby, but the cloning chamber isn’t stable enough for the fetus. He’s desperately trying anything that he think might work, when he comes across Phantom. Phantom who has experience with stabilizing clones.
Danny had heard whispers through the grapevine (Ellie who’d joined the Teen Titans as Phantasm) that there was someone attempting to make clones. He’d only meant to snoop and see if it was a Vlad situation. If any clones had been made and needed liberating. What he found was a newly minted Red Robin crying over a red blinking message on a cloning chamber. He warbled a quiet “please, Kon, I don’t want to live without you.”
Danny quickly realizing this wasn’t an attempt to replace and destroy, but actually someone grieving, in probably an unhealthy way, but who was Danny to judge, he’d once replaced Sam and Tucker with robots for less. So he decided to help Red Robin out. Sure, he hadn’t dealt with kryptonian dna before, but he was at least 89% sure halfa dna was way more complicated. And Red Robin had already figured out ways around the dna shenanigans, it was just the stability that wasn’t going well. Honestly, he didn’t think it would be as easy as an ecto dejecto like it had been for Ellie. But his parents had a lot of inventions that they’d started making to help out ghosts, once they’d realized Danny was Phantom. Maybe telling Red Robin about ghost IVF wasn’t his most thought through plan.
“I think what might help is an incubator.” Phantom had suggested.
Tim could only gesture at the cloning chambers that had failed him thus far. They were essentially huge incubators.
Phantom awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “I meant, like, a living incubator. Like a surrogate.”
“Where am I going to find someone that I not only trust to carry the baby, but also would volunteer?” Tim raised an eyebrow at him. Hell, had Tim had the equipment to do so, he would have carried the baby, everything else be damned. He just didn’t want to be alone anymore.
Phantom blushed green and looked away. “It might take a little tinkering with the embryos to work with the physiology, but…. I could carry the baby for you. I mean, I’m trans, and even if I wasn’t, ghosts are kind of malleable in a reproductive sense. And there are options for IVF in ghost science. And like, my own clone is like my little sister. I’m also a protection spirit, so I would protect the baby with my entire afterlife. And I’m kind of rambling so you should say something before I embarrass myself.”
“You would be willing to carry a baby for me?” Tim was shell shocked by the offer.
“I mean, yeah. You’re a good guy. You’re not cloning him for a malicious reason. You’re just trying to bring back a piece of your friend because you love and miss him. Dedication that strong for someone who has left the living plain, is admirable. You realized early on that you wouldn’t be able to increase the speed in which the clone grew. You’ve been trying despite knowing that this clone will be a baby that’s going to be your child, and not just the friend you lost. And I wouldn’t mind giving up my body for a little bit so you can make your family.”
Tim certainly hadn’t meant to surge forward and kiss Phantom. “Thank you.” Tim pulled Phantom into a fierce hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
It took about a month for them to work out the kinks of making the baby safe for Danny’s body. In this time, Danny showing Red Robin his human form, and Tim revealing his own identity. It felt kind of wrong to keep his name from someone he intended to get pregnant with his child. Tim and Danny got close as they worked together on the baby. And there may have been a few more kisses shared between them. In the end, the baby ended up spliced with mostly Kon’s dna, some of Tim’s (to stabilize the kryptonian dna), and some of Danny’s (to keep the baby safe in the womb).
Once Danny was well and truly pregnant, he encouraged Tim to find Bruce. “I’ll keep the baby safe. You find your dad. If you need me for anything, I’m only a call away.” Tim hadn’t forgotten about Bruce, he’d just never thought it would take so long to set up cloning Kon. So much of his hurt and loneliness had fallen away in Danny’s presence, and Danny had let him hyper focus on making their baby.
“Probably terrible timing, but I’ve got to ask,” Tim swallowed nervously. “Be my boyfriend?”
Danny’s lopsided smile, thawed Tim’s nerves. “I think I could work with that. I hope you don’t mind kids though, I’m kind of pregnant.”
Tim huffed a laugh. “I’ll keep in touch while I’m away. Please keep me updated on the baby.”
Danny pulled him into a proper kiss, “I will.”
I’m mostly imagining Tim getting bump update photos and falling in love with his increasingly pregnant boyfriend, while he finds Bruce.
I’m also imagining after Bruce is back, Tim being like, “anyways gtg, my boyfriend is in his third trimester and I don’t want to miss the birth of our baby.” And peacing out before any bats could react, let alone stop him.
And also maybe when Kon comes back, there’s maybe a poly relationship started.
Also thinking about Tim getting Danny pregnant without the science.
Danny gets Dad, Tim gets Papa, and if Kon joins, he gets Poppy.
#dead tired#tim x danny#danny x tim#dc x dp#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#tim drake#Danny phantom#dani phantom#red Robin#kon el kent#conner kent#pregnant Danny#clone baby#Kon el#superboy#robin#dc#dc comics#batman#dc characters#chatonfils writing#I don’t really know where Tim’s cloning attempts fit into the timeline#I need to read the comics and not just fanfic#but I think Danny is probably the best person to go to in the case of destabilized clones#TimKon#timkondanny#superdeadtired
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Homer!Odysseus and Epic!Odysseus would try to kill each other if they ever met
#Homer!Odysseus: you sacrificed your men to save yourself? Detestable coward! How I wish I was never born if it would ensure you had not the#Epic!Odysseus: you’d understand if you *loved your wife.* But I guess a guy who stayed with Circe for a year wouldn’t know that!#H!Odysseus: do not speak of things you know nothing about! I long for my return to sweet Penelope but I have a duty to my men#E!Odysseus: A YEAR. A WHOLE YEAR. I WOULD KILL ANYTHING AND ANYONE TO GET A HOME A YEAR FASTER#H!Odysseus: that was clear when you served Scylla six men like they were cattle!#E!Odysseus: it was them or me! And don’t keep talking about my friends like you did any better. you’ll go home alone too#H!Odysseus: they doomed themselves when they ate Hyperion’s golden cattle. I am not responsible for their suffering. But you could have ens#H!Odysseus: Now Eurylochus’s body lies at the bottom of the sea where there can be no burial and no honour#E!Odysseus: AND I’LL GO HOME TO MY WIFE. MY BEAUTIFUL PERFECT LOVELY LOYAL WIFE WHO’S BEEN WAITING FOR ME FOR TWENTY YEARS.#E!Odysseus: and when I go home and she asks if I came back as fast as I could I’ll be able to answer honestly#H!Odysseus: WE HAD BEEN THROUGH MANY TRIALS. THE MEN NEEDED TO REST#E!Odysseus: FOR A YEAR???? DID THEY NEED TO REST FOR A YEAR??? AND DID THEY NEED THAT REST RIGHT AFTER A MONTH’S LONG REST WITH AEOLUS??? S#H!Odysseus: IF YOU WISHED FOR ITHACA SO DESPERATELY WHY DIDN’T YOU OBEY PALLAS ATHENA AND KILL THE CYCLOPS#E!Odysseus: *drawing sword* I WAS HAVING A ROUGH DAY#Epic the musical#Epic odysseus#The odyssey#odysseus#Homer#Greek mythology#Jorge rivera-herrans#nuclear war speaks
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kaiser detests the conundrum that has been created of his emotions.
he wants nothing more than to celebrate his team’s victory — his victory — with you. he yearns for your praise, for your kisses, yet he’s not next to you like he should be.
instead, he has found rest in a lonesome corner, keenly observing you from afar.
you laugh heartily, so engaged in your conversations with the others. actually— if kaiser were to put it more accurately, you not only engaged in the idle chatter, you indulged in it.
and it is at rare instances such as this, that kaiser begins to doubt himself. it’s almost as if he set tests for you, to gauge how much he means to you. he needs to know if you’d keep choosing him, even if he pushes you away.
so when you finally approach him, he (subtly) rejects it. he’s petty, but also equally as driven.
“regrettably, liebling,” kaiser waves his phone at you, which seems to have manifested from thin air, “i’m expecting an important call soon, why don’t you hang out with.. ness? you’ve been talking to him a lot.”
you mouth an “oh,” making quick sense of the situation.
you may not necessarily be the most perceptive person in the room, however, you’re confident in you ability to discern kaiser’s behaviour and what it means.
“you know, love,” you start, ever so discreet, “ness suggested that i spend some time with you.”
there, his brow twitched, “yeah? he wants you to spend time with you now that he’s, what, feeling guilty about taking you up to himself the entire night?”
make no mistake, kaiser is not one to be trigged easily—
“you sound mad,” you press.
“can a man not be appalled?” kaiser quickly retorts, scoffing as he crosses his arms. to hell with keeping these annoying feelings to myself.
—unless it’s you. yes, you always draw out the rawest of emotions that lay waiting in his heart.
“ness was talking to you like you’re his girlfriend, and you didn’t bother reminding him that you’re taken,” his eyes narrow, and his forehead creases, “or maybe you forgot that too, huh?”
your stupid giggles answer him, and he sighs defeatedly.
his attempt at nonchalance that was so effortlessly dislodged and replace with a tirade, was tantamount to entertainment for you. infuriating.
“you could at least tell me this, then,” kaiser clutches your wrist, pulling you closer, “am i your first choice?”
he already knows how you’ll respond by the time your hands reach to cup his cheeks, your utterances of love never failing to reassure him.
#don’t know where i was going w this but fuck it we ball i guess#okay confession i need kaiser so bad.#i will literally bite him.#side note sae’s back is so weirdly attractive i want him#blue lock#bllk x reader#bllk#x reader#michael kaiser#kaiser x reader#omfg i reread this and found so many typos im so embarrassed#gn reader
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GUH
@chipper-smol
#IM GOING TO CHEW MY OWN LEG OFF#I already had a list of things I wanted to draw but holy FUCK#I ONLY JUST STARTED TOO. I JUST FINISHED TALKING TO LOOP BEFORE I HAD TO CLOSE THE GAME#I don’t even know where to begin like. THERES SM I AANT TO TALK ABOUT IM CLENCHING MY DESK#IM SO CURIOUS ABOUT THE TREE THING. LIKE I KNEW MIRA’S COMMENT INTRIGUED ME BUT HOOOOHHHHH#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#friends#chipper#puppy plays isat#gif#doodles#HELP. HEEEELLLPPP
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I feel like something that should have been explored more in Arcane is that despite the dangers and pretty much horrific conditions, Zaun children seemingly grow up a lot more caring and have a larger understanding of family in comparison to Piltover children. And if such a reflection of the real world in a sense.
The kids of Zaun seemingly grow up with a lot more adult support. Ekko is easily welcomed under Benzo’s wings. Vander adopts 4 kids (two of which we learn he knew of before their parents death, two of which we can’t be sure of). Silco, despite all what happened, and his ulterior motives, shows no problem adopting Powder/Jinx. In the alternate universe it seems as though he’s still played a part in the kids lives. Jinx adopts Isha easily and Sevika cares for her as well. Hell, even Mr. War Crimes Against Humanity does well with little Viktor (until ya know, the animal abuse).
Hell, up until Vander dies (the first time) there seems to be a large understanding of if there’s an orphan or a kid in need of guidance, take them in! (And certainly don’t inform them of your plans to turn a giant pink salamander into drugs and be confused when a nine year old doesn’t understand). If a kid wants to be your apprentice, let them! For the most part, until things all went wrong in the end of act 1 of season 1, the worst parts of Zaun seem pretty typical for any city in poverty.
Match that with what we see with how Caitlyn and Jayce grow up. Caitlyn is given adult support, yes, and it’s clearly a good adult mentor, but it’s not entirely by her choice. It’s been chosen for her. She’s safe, but there’s a lack of freedom of choice. Meanwhile, when Jayce gets older, and that same accident in Act 1 happens, the family that supported him and his mom turns their backs. His own mom doesn’t support him either, because she’s afraid of what he’s talking about, but also because he’s damming them to being outcasts.
Conversely, Vander is more than willing to take the fall for what Claggor, Milo, Vi and Powder did. He’s willing to go to prison for a long time, in order for them to have a better future. Despite Vi’s best efforts, he’s not going to listen to her (she is just a kid) and he’s not letting his family go down and get hurt.
Meanwhile, a man who grew up in this mentality, where there’s a wide sense of family support from people who aren’t your biological family, is the one to go to Jayce, a stranger, and tells him he believes in him. It’s why it’s such a shock to Jayce; his own family and family friends denied him. They didn’t support him.
I think that’s what makes all the difference. Piltover and Zaun have wildly different understandings of family and forgiveness. For Piltover, it shuns and damns the lives of those who upset the balance. For Zaun, it provides safety and never ending understanding.
Just. I’m thinking.
#arcane#arcane season 1#I didn’t mean to make this a jayvik thing it just happened#is this where I admit I don’t care Cassandra died#oops she was a baddie and I feel bad for cait but go get your trauma glow up girl#go get some character development#sorry but Cassandra didn’t give a shit about Jayce until it turns out he really did have something#and when it came time she only voted for Zaun independence and wasn’t even the first or second mind you#to vote to agree#hell despite possibly knowing Viktor for 7+ years and knowing how much Jayce cares for him#and how important he was to hextech#she did not even support it until last minute and then boom#sorry to cait love you girl but your mom was giving go girl give us nothing#Cassandra kiramman hate#that’s fun tag for someone who barely had screen time#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#caitlyn kiramman#I love Caitlyn don’t think any differently I forgive her for her crimes#listen if I can ignore Viktor’s assimilation plots I can ignore her war crimes#I’m a forgiving woman#arcane thoughts
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something something gman tommy something something gordon in stasis. you know how it is.
#GOD TUMBLR ATE THE FUCKING QUALITY. JESUS CHRIST.#This is a lil rough lookin cos it’s uhhhh . One it’s like a month old and 2 it took me like an hour w no real thought or effort#Anyway#I Feel Normal . Im normal. It’s whatever#THIS IS BASED ON NOTHING . other than this has been haunting me. The hypotheticaaaallllllsssssss aaauuughhhhhhbhhh#hl2vrai#hlvrai#tommy coolatta#should. I tag ol gordon here ?#I dont. Know. I don’t wanna Fuck up th hl tag#whatever.#hlvrai 2#gordon freeman#gordon feetman#hlvrai gordon#hlvrai tommy#If they do do smth w stasis it’ll fuck me up so bad cos. ONE .#that means Gordon never got to go home. fucked up. Fucked up#TWO . It’s so. AUIUHGHH. It’s one thing w like. in the hl2 canon of Gman this like. Mysterious freak fuckin around w Gordon#Where it’s just an uncaring omnipotent Guy taking you in and out of limbo as he pleases#but with like. Dr coomer specifically tryna contact Gordon and TOMMY BEING GMAN. FUCK. it’s like. Now it’s your friends.#now it’s your friends who need you and are trying to help you along. putting you into place. THERES SO MUCH MORE WEIGHT THERE#this might be me reaching but it’s like. ohhhh my god#wgatever. What the fuck ever#EDIT: SOMEONE JST POINTED THIS OUT AND THIS WASNT ON PURPOSE I SWEAR TO GOD. HES KINDA IN TH FUCKED UP VR CROUCH POSE. FUCK . FUCK
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Sad sad bunny….
#I don’t know where I was going with this comic#but I know I had a lot of sad feelings bc I was remembering GBs current state#idk he gives off poltergeist vibes#whatever that means#my art#digital art#digital illustration#fanart#angst#tw eyes#glamrock bonnie#comic#sad comic
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Wait. If Guillermo started as a familiar at 19, then he’d be 34 this year? And Nandor died at 35, so they would be only be one year apart in human age.
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#I don’t know where I’m going with this#but they have a huge death age gap but also only a one year age difference at the same time#that’s kinda funny to me#what we do in the shadows#WWDITS#nandermo#nandor the relentless#guillermo de la cruz
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i wonder if these guys ever cared being gay was illegal when they first met
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it sure didn’t stop them from being freaky af
everyone knew by just looking at them
#i know for sure it would not stop erik he has killed people#and i’m pretty sure charles picked up anyone from the bar including men#the rest of the xmen just had to deal with them making heart eyes at each other#these are their parents now#actually crazy being homosexual was illegal#at what point did people start going like#Hey! you can’t kiss that man! thats not right! 😿#i think everyone just needs to take a break from reproducing for a bit theres too many of us#does homophobia transcend back to caveman times or what#the cave people don’t give a shit they got a whole to descover and then let their descendants destroy it#you know what i need more dragneto where did he go 🙁#they took dragneto from us#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#homosexual#wish does not shut up
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
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#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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Firefox-official vs electronicmail
Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing
#this one was hard to respond to because it elicited the usual anon rage in me#but i had to think about it anyway.#this blog has been around for less than a month and it is driving me fucking crazy#don’t you think i know?#dont you think it hurts enough already#i dont want this blog either i want my old blog back with all my stuff on it#i would like to stick around#because i loved posting#and i get that you’re just having fun#but i’m making an example of you#less than a month vs five years#‘household name’ firefox official#spent five years building that thing#and now it’s just this.#i keep forgetting#and then i’m here again#not home#i know you all feel bad enough for me already#but it’s so hard to be myself because the environment on here is SO different#we were HAPPY#WE WERE SO HAPPY#Umm… Or whatever.#guess i could go back to firefox unofficial#but that feels far too close to the sun. and i’m done with the wings i think.#i dont mean to be so serious#a total mood killer i know#i just dont know how to proceed exactly#because when i post like normal i cant help but feel sad#and when i post about being sad its just sort of obnoxious#i’m not really asking for pity i just want to explain where i am at
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