#i do try on occasion to tag shit i just also am bad at it

[dredshirtroberts]

hilariously while looking up the file name for this i realized i mislabeled it because a different image came up.

been feeling black and red recently. easy contrast and pop i guess lol.

my pain has been Ridiculous this week, and a lot of it has been older injuries flaring up really bad, among the other standard pain i experience. and i'm really angry and bitter that it's gotten to this level because no one listened when i was younger.

so i did art about it.

and now i'm off the hook for 1k words today.

[seulszn]

Listen I love TLOU and the fandom very much but a lot of people (not calling anybody out) need a reality check and need to grow up. I wanna say my two cents on things that bother me in this fandom.

1. Boycotting for Palestine

I have seen multiple times on multiple occasions where people would sit on their phone and complain about why writers are “flooding the tags with this boycotting bullshit” and honestly all I have to say is your super childish you can’t take a hour or a week out of your day to raise awareness on a important topic that is affecting millions of people? Your so horny so down bad for pixelated characters that you don’t care about the innocent children, women and men that are dying in Palestine? The boycotting isn’t gonna stop just because you want your needs filled, the boycotting isn’t going to stop because you think it needs to, it’s not gonna stop until Palestine is free. And if you wanna read things that bad then read nobody is stoping you but a take into ignition that if a writer is spreading awareness then don’t be ignorant and say stupid shit

2. Less Sex and more angst or other genres.

Listen I love Abby and Ellie just like everyone else and I read a lot of smut about them but does that all y’all see when y’all look at them? As sex objects? Like I’m not saying that you should stop writing smut for those characters but write other things to that don’t involve smut, like angst I see a lot of people under that tag say how they wish writers would as write other things that isn’t just smut and majority of the time when they say that they get hated for it. It lowkey gets boring reading fanfics where the whole plot is smut, smut, smut. And again I’m not saying to stop writing smut but please for the love of whatever you believe in write other genres.

3. Black inclusivity

As a black writer and a black person TLOU tag isn’t inclusive enough. I know you must be thinking “Why are we speaking about this again?” Because I’m honestly so tired of how uninclusive the fandom is like I said before Ellie dates WOC if you don’t know what WOC is it’s Women Of Color all of Ellie’s girlfriends where WOC now I’m not saying you can’t write for Ellie as a white person and I’m not saying that never did all I am saying is once again all of Ellie’s girlfriend where POC

Riley was a Black African American who Dated Ellie

Cat the girl who wasn’t mentioned alot but is in the game is Asian American who also dated Ellie

Dina is a Jewish (Mexican, Middle Eastern ) American who dated Ellie

Also yes we know when the reader is white coded so don’t try a put that you don’t mention when race mentioned cause you do and we can tell when you do “She’s Petite and cute with her long blonde hair” or whatever you bitches be saying we know when you guys aren’t inclusive the whole point of fanfiction writing is to be inclusive is to make sure that readers can see themself in your xreader so if your putting all these “white things and then labeling your story as “the readers race is not mentioned” or that OC stuff that y’all do then just label the story as a white reader or a OC reader

4. Futa, trans and masc

Now here I’m gonna discuss two or three things starting off with Futa and Trans. Now I don’t know when “Futa” or “Trans” Ellie and Abby came from but a lot of you readers need to understand and learn the difference between the two because they are both very different things.

Futanari: is the Japanese word for hermaphroditism, which is also used in a broader sense for androgyny. Beyond Japan, the term has come to be used to describe a commonly pornographic genre of eroge, manga, and anime, which includes characters that show primary sexual characteristics from both females and males. In today's language, it refers almost exclusively to characters who have an overall feminine body, but have both female and male primary genitalia (although a scrotum is not always present, while breasts, a penis, and a vulva are). The term is also often abbreviated as futa(s), which is also used as a generalized term for the works themselves.

Transgender (often shortened to trans) is someone whose gender identity differs from that typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth. Some transgender people who desire medical assistance to transition from one sex to another identify as transsexual. Transgender is also an umbrella term; in addition to including people whose gender identity is the opposite of their assigned sex (trans men and trans women), it may also include people who are non-binary or genderqueer. Other definitions of transgender also include people who belong to a third gender, or else conceptualize transgender people as a third gender. The term may also include cross-dressers or drag kings and drag queens in some contexts. The term transgender does not have a universally accepted definition, including among researchers.

Mind you I am not transgender I am nonbinary but I see a lot of transgender people speak up about how offensive it is to write a character as Transgender but it’s not really transgender but a Futanari remember a Futa is a character who is assigned a gender at birth but just has extra sexual parts like a penis.

Now another thing that bothers me is how y’all Masculinize Masc Lesbians as if they still aren’t women themselves like every time I read a fanfic with Ellie or Abby or even Vi and Sevika from Arcane you guys like to ignore they fact that they are also women themselves like it’s not gonna kill you to give those characters feminine compliments there shouldn’t be a reason why your calling these women “handsome” or other Masculine compliments and also a lot of Masculine women where makeup it’s not just a feminine woman thing. Masc Lesbians are women they aren’t men so stop treating them as if they are men and ignoring the fact that they are women

5. the Innocent childish reader gotta stop.

They title says enough I don’t think I need to say too much but a lot of y’all get innocent and corruption mixed up but a corruption kink is When you find the idea of "corrupting" someone, mostly in a sexual way, like taking virginities or introducing people to stuff like bdsm etc. It's the idea of having someone "pure" do "bad" things under your influence. And innocent is not corrupted or tainted with evil or unpleasant emotion; sinless; pure. not guilty of a particular crime; blameless. (From the dictionary)

Y’all need to understand yes not everyone knows what sex is but everyone knows what a vagina is what a penis is, what a orgasm is and what sex is but they may not knows what happens when you have sex so making the reader what y’all call innocent isn’t innocent it’s honestly to me perverted cause the only one who would say something like “my cunny feels weird 🥺” or that “what is sex 🥺” is a child. Children don’t know what sex is children don’t know what pleasure or orgasms is and when y’all say “the reader is a Bimbo” is also funny cause Bimbos know what sex is as well yes they may be stupid but they aren’t slow so before you make a innocent reader please think ���am I making my reader act like a child or am I gonna make her really innocent like how regular grown ass adults act?” so don't get not knowing and "innocent" mixed up

6. The stories where they have sex inside a church also gotta stop

Now I’m not a Christian but these stories are honestly really bad and are Blasphemy a lot of people have come out and said that they don’t like the fact that people are writing stories about church in a sexual way like their shouldn’t be any reason why your characters are fucking inside a church, that’s like stomping on someone’s dead grave. You guys do shit like this and then wonder why Christian’s don’t like us. Religion isn’t something to be sexualized it’s not something to be playing with either this idc how much you hate Christianity you can be a Atheist, or Catholic or Jewish but please for the love of whatever you believe in don’t sexualize people’s religion.

That’s all I can think of at the moment if I think of more I’ll of course make a part two to this but don’t take anything I said here to heart it’s just my blunt honest opinion on things in this fandom and if I get hate for this 🤷🏾‍♀️

[tarnussy]

Ok I have to ask about the tags on the Malenia fandom post... How the hell did they try to make Godrick a pedophile

There are 2 occasions that stood out to me: According to the first one, he is a pedophile and a rapist because the dead dragon didn't consent to be grafted (like???). Then there was mention of the grafted scions as well, tho that was in a separate post if I remember correctly. (Of course, creepy kids when Godrick -> bad!!! Creepy kids when Rennala -> good) This wasn't on a small account either, and like so, a whole eco chamber decided it's now canon. Based on who this person's fav character is, this assumption was extremely hypocritical. They called out this behavior from fans against their fav character (which was right 100% to call them out) but then, they turned around and did the same behavior they resented so much, this time against people who like Godrick (I assume bc usually his fans stay quiet or just ignore it, or are bullied off the site). Second one: person had a client at work who was overly kind in a smarmy way, so he was labeled creepy and "must have been a pedophile" all based on vibes, and then according to that logic they thought Godrick was one too simply based on their personal vibes (and seeing him in the worst faith possible). They had a feeling he was like that, and so people who like him were no different (according to this person). Second person was actively making the fandom as unenjoyable as possible. Their genuine goal was to make fandom experience fucking vile for anyone who liked Godrick (or anyone that liked a character they didn't like, all which I happen to like). And not just this person but a whole group of their besties who flocked to this behavior like flies to a pile of steaming shit. Just because why not, I suppose. I do feel like my experience with ER would have been much better if I never checked the tags or the fandom ever. Which is hard bc I am a creator myself and I used to monitor main tags because of my own posts as well. Before becoming an active blog, I liked nearly every character (M@lenia was my favourite female character back then!) but I'm unfortunately the type of person whose brain holds onto bad memories a lot and also associates characters with bad apples like this. And M@lenia's apples almost all seem super fucking bad. Very similar to stans of Alcin@ Dimitr3scu, same level of witch hunts as well. At this point there is no way I could ever look at M@lenia and not immediately think of all the disgusting, hypocritical and unfair behavior a big portion of her fans have been doing for years. Which is sad bc I think she is a cool character and I think she has chill fans as well who are nice. Too bad they are overpowered by the most loud ones. And it has an extreme level of irony bc this same type of fan is the one to scream into the void how awful Radahn fans are. I can 100% tell, since I am on every single social media for my ER accounts and interact with people everywhere, that Radahn fans are nowhere near on the same level. Sure, they have their arguments or even slightly problematic behavior but it's never at a level of personal witch hunts and ganging up on others. I know a couple of people who (similarly to me) liked both Godrick and M@lenia at some point, and just altogether left the fandom because of the constant attacks and arguments her fans were doing. So this is a way bigger issue than it seems. And ofc anyone who ever dared to speak about it was either witch hunted or ganked in the tags. I had multiple people hit me up in privately about this back when it was going down, so that definitely reassured me it wasn't just my observation. And, you know, fandom should be fun. Why be a petty asshole for no reason? And to a level that is very much harmful in real life? So their "it's just a game" shit-ass argument when you call out this behavior has no place when it comes to organized harassment that affects people in real life. And somehow it's always the perps who cry wolf. And everyone else who is affected should stay quiet in fear of witch hunt against them. You see this wall of text above? This is me keeping it short. Only scraping the surface here.

[problematicfactive]

New intro Post

New intro post! How exciting! This is my celebration for reaching 25 followers so fast! Thank you all for your overwhelming support in this journey, it really has been a lot.

If you're new here, my boyfriend and I are both introjected from extremely problematic medias revolving around a very bad person that lived in real life. We are both from fictional medias, bit the person of which we introjected is very much real, and We've gotten a LOT of shit for it.

Spaces that claim to be safe spaces for systems-- or God forbid, safe spaces for *problematic* introjects and alters, tend to be rude or spiteful towards individuals who are factives from problematic sources.

I firmly believe this hateful stance comes from a place of not understanding, so I've created this blog to give people who don't understand a chance to talk and speak to us without losing their cool as we also stay anonymous on this blog. They're always nice until they find out who you are /hj . Since it's creation, the blog has since turned into a big place for problematic factives to just feel safe and seen. I'm beyond happy about this, and glad my blog can serve both purposes. More under the cut!

We post a lot of everything!

We answer asks from people who have questions about us or about being problematic factives, we make positivity posts for problematic factives, problematic factive culture is... posts, and lots of other things you could think of. Feel free to vent in our askbox or message us for a chat! We'd love to have a friend.

Some things off the top of my head that I can't do on this blog (but if you end up making a blog for these things and need a mod, totally hmu!)

Stimboards/Moodboards etc. - I would literally love to do these but the problem is I know like nothing about anyone. Of you were to ask me for a Donald Trump moodboard I honestly do not know what I would do my mind would just blank. That being said, in decently good at making them so if there were a person I knew well enough to do a stimboard on, I definitely could

Icon edits - This is somthing I'm capable of doing, but it isn't something where I would want this entire blog to just turn into requests. If you're making a blog specifically for these creative requests things totally hmu

Art - I cannot draw but my hope is that that changes in the future.

-

Meet us!

My last intro post didn't really have any information on us as people let's try and fix that.

I can't tell you my name, but you can call me Anxiety. I'm the main mod and significantly less source connected/more source ashamed. I go by he/Anxiety with Anxiety being able to work in place of either a name or a pronoun. Unless the host is helping out with something, anything that isn't labeled comes from me. I'm the only one out of the two of us with the physical ability to type so when he posts something, it's a little special occasion and deserves a label.

My boyfriend doesn't have a name option other than a source one. On the blog he has only been referred to as my boyfriend, but if you need a name for him, call him NPC. He uses he/him pronouns and will sign off any post that he thinks up all on his own with -NPC and tagged with # npc posts

Tagging

Here is some of the tagging we use on this blog

# problematic factive culture = Problematic factive culture is.. posts

# kindness and positivity = Kind and Positive asks we've received

# good thoughtful questions = Good questions we received as asks

# positivity post = Positivity posts

# problematicfactive blog things = things that ate moreso related to one of the mods or running the blog than they are about problematic factives

# rainy day drafts = drafts that could be super old because I made them and them left them in the drafts so I could post when I don't have anything else to post

# queued because I am asleep 😊 / queued because hopefully I'm sleeping = posts that I queue to be 5-ish hours away from the last post. I often post somthing at 12 am Eastern Time regardless of the last something was posted, so those early morning positivity posts tend to also be queued with the tag

If you come across us and like what we do, consider boosting or realigning this post! I'd love for as many people to find out we exist as possible

# askers experience = Asks sent in where an asker tells me about their life

# npc posts = posts my npc wrote as a mod on this blog (does not apply to posts where "my boyfriend's answer" is me paraphrasing or trying to speak for him)

[jpegjade]

Synopsis:

You saved Spencer on many occasions and now, it’s his turn to save you.

Tag list:

idk man. i don’t know that I have one.

Trigger warnings:

extremely dark themes, talk about the sooweeside, dark thoughts, realistic depiction of depression, mental health struggles, and other dark shit but nothing gory. No need to hannah baker this shit.

Gender:

idk. i usually don’t mention gender but if i do, lemme know and i’ll change it.

Story Special Notes:

You know when spencer was kidnapped and almost sacrificed and it was him and garcia and she went "we need us"? This was the moment that inspired the thought.

I am indeed having a bad time in life (i’m also sick) and i wanted to write about it with something else mixed in. There’s a whole thing that I added and it’s an element that just gives high angst, low romance (until the end. idk where i’m going with it but i’m sick in bed and suffering because my best friend is living life in the outside world and i’m in my room.)

High angst Story below the cut

You’ve been here before. You’ve been in this dark place before. You’ve been on the edge of glory and in the depths of heartbreak before and this wasn’t it. Oddly enough, it wasn’t anything. You didn’t feel anything, the sounds muddled in your ears. Every feeling inside of you weighed on your chest and suddenly, it was quiet. Completely silent for a moment. Just a moment, though. Your thoughts suddenly started racing again. The voices just going until you drifted away again.

That day…

“Spencer.” You said, your voice laced with worry.

Garcia was trying to get the location from the phone while you kept him on as long as possible.

“Y/n.” He said, matter of factly.

He accepted his fate already but you couldn’t let him give up. You couldn’t let him stop fighting his way out of this.

“Spencer, I know it’s hard. I know it seems impossible. But don’t give up, okay? Don’t lose the fire you always had inside of you.” Your voice broke slightly before you composed yourself again.

“I’m going to lay down for a while. I miss my bed but it’s time for the world to swallow me whole.” Spencer said, voice steady and even.

You put yourself on mute.

“Garcia, look for graveyards. They’re probably holding him there” You looked directly at her as tears streamed down her face.

She never knew how you were so calm, how Spencer was so even when it sounded like he was about to die. The two of you never ceased to amaze her under immense, life-threatening pressure.

“Spence,” you said, unmuting yourself, “the light in your eyes can’t die, okay? Don’t let that light die.

“I’m so sorry. I just wanted to get far away from the water around me…” Spencer said, a little shuffle from the other side of the line with a distance sound of a cow or something similar.

Muted again.

“He’s away from the coast. Triangulate the ones that are far away from the water. I would say rural from the shuffling.” You said, quickly.

“Hey, y/n?” Spencer said, a shift in tone within his voice.

“Yeah?” You unmuted while watching Garcia’s fingers fly across the keyboard.

“I love you.”

The line went dead.

—

Quiet. All you heard was quiet… Such a nice sound, one you never experienced before. The burning in your lungs started to fade, the world finally fading as everything started drifting. You felt the world drift away, the sadness encompassed by something else, something you never experienced before. An eternal sense of quiet. Everything faded and all that was left was an eternal quiet. quiet. the raging storm was quiet but different that what you expected. You felt it in… Was it your bones? You felt something in the void but all it felt like was quiet. You felt quiet.

—

that day

“You’re an idiot.” You said, helping Spencer out of the coffin.

You and Penelope were able to find Spencer’s location, the team heading out as soon as the address came up and you met them there.

“You knew where to find me.” Spencer offered a half smile, something off within him.

“You’re an idiot. You idiot.” You couldn’t stop saying it, thinking it, feeling it.

“I know.” The EMT wrapped a blanket around Spencer’s shoulders and kept moving.

“You idiot. You’re an idiot. And I can’t believe you, you idiot.” You dropped your head, shoulders starting to tense up with your body closing into itself.

“I know…” Spencer knew what you were trying to say as he watched as your arms wrapped around your midsection as a reflex.

“You idiot.” Your voice growing louder as everyone started noticing.

“Hey, I’ve got you.” Spencer rose to his feet, pulling you into him, under the blanket.

“I can’t believe you.” You said, sobs racking your body.

Spencer held you as you stood there, breaking down. You almost lost the only person in the world who understood you. He was willing to lay down and let everything go to keep everyone else safe because he didn’t think anyone needed him anymore. His will to stand up was broken. And so were you.

“I’ve got you. I’m here.” Spencer held you tight but you held onto him tighter.

“You were okay with leaving me. You were just fine leaving me and you’re an idiot. You idiot.” You repeated, finally letting it tumble out.

“I’ll do anything to protect you, y/n. They need you.” Spencer said, rubbing your back.

“They need you. They need you but I need you more. I need us…” your body could barely hold you up, so Spencer did the work and just held you until you couldn’t cry anymore.

He held you until you were the only two people out there, every car had left aside from yours and garcia’s vehicles.

“I love you too…” You said, finally feeling okay again with him.

—

“Y/n.” Spencer said, walking into the apartment. It was dark and quiet, the way you hated it.

No answer.

“It’s late…I should probably not yell…” He muttered to himself, throwing his keys on the table.

There was something off. He felt a chill in his heart and he sprinted to find you. There was something wrong. Something…

“Y/N!” Spencer called, begging for you to answer.

“In here.” You moaned from your bed.

Spencer breathed a sigh of relief as he flipped on the light.

His stomach dropped out of his body when he saw you. It wasn’t sleep that made you sound groggy and drained. His body suddenly felt like it was cemented to the ground.

“Spence…” You breathed, barely audible as you drifted back into the quiet again.

“Y/n… No… Please.” Spencer found the words, his brain snapping into place once again.

—

The quiet went away. You couldn’t tell when or how or why but you drifted back to where you were before. The quiet rejected you, sent you back to where you came from. The quiet was no longer inviting, it was suffocating. You wanted to scream. You wanted to find someone. It was too dark. Where was the light? What happened to the light? It was cold and loud and…

—

“Please, just come back. I won’t leave. I promise… I’ll…” Spencer’s voice broke as the monitors started reacting to changes in your body.

Spencer’s hands started to shake, tremors racking his entire being as he was escorted out of the room.

He sat there, sliding down the wall to the floor. He didn’t know what to do, who to tell. He didn’t know where to turn. He didn’t want anyone, he just wanted you. He wanted his home. He only wanted you.

“You can come in now, sir.” The nurse said, inviting Spencer back in the room.

Spencer hustled to get up, scrambling to see you again. He just needed to reach you. He needed to…

You were awake… Blinking, hands crossed on your lap, eyes unfocused.

“Spencer, where am I?” You asked, finally noticing he was there when he stood at the foot of your bed.

“The hospital.” Spencer said, his voice breaking. Tears prickled his eyes and he couldn’t tell why.

He sounded so broken inside. His spirit returned to his body knowing you were awake but his body was so broken down.

“Oh.” You said, letting all of the weight of the situation hit you.

“Do you need something? Apple juice?” He asked, tentatively moving towards the stacks of empty apple juice cups on the tray next to you.

He loved apple juice as much as you did so he was drinking it to remind himself of you.

“No.” You said, looking at the 2am soap opera on the TV above you.

“I’m sorry…” Spencer sat in the chair he moved next to your bed at the beginning of the stay.

“Why?” You asked, your head foggy and drained. You couldn’t think. You were so exhausted that even keeping your eyes open was the hardest part of the day.

“You wanted to go and…” His voice caught in his throat.

Tears rolled down his cheeks now, his nose a little runny. He sniffled.

“You weren’t ready to let me go…” You said, wishing you had the strength spencer had in that moment.

The strength to just stick around. The strength to battle your demons. The strength to keep going.

“We need you. We’re not the same without you.” His chest tight, his hands itching to touch you.

“Bullshit.” You said, nothing behind it.

“Y/n…” Spencer could barely find his voice, begging you to look at him.

“Spencer, no one misses me. No one needs me. Sure as hell not the team. No one wants me. After all I’ve given, nothing… no one…” You looked up at the florescent lights above you.

“I need you.” Spencer said, firmly. “I need us. Together. I need you to stay with me. I need you to be here with me… Please…” He whispered the last word.

“Please hold me…” You whispered, wanting to feel warm again.

Spencer hesitated for a moment before climbing into the bed with you. He was taller than you so it wasn’t a comfortable fit but you weren’t looking for comfort. You were looking for Spencer. You didn’t really know what you needed but you needed Spencer.

“I just want to be warm again…” You said, settling into Spencer’s arms again.

The two of you sat in the too small bed, silently crying as a dramatic telanovela switch onto the tv, wondering how you got here.

[lilithsaga]

15 Questions for 15 Friends

Tagged by @emery-matsushita-vt (Thank youuuuu~!)

Are you named after anyone?

Yes, I am named after the first and most well-known succubus, Lilith. It is a common name among succubi, as I also have a great grandmother with the same name.

When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday. I've always been a crybaby. But at least it was a good cry yesterday... from someone unexpected complimenting my writing ability. 🥹

Do you have kids?

Hell no! I can't even take care of myself, let alone a kid. I'm not putting children through that.

What sports do/have you played?

Fencing... at least in University. Who doesn't want to stab people with swords? And the fencing community itself is actually really supportive and friendly. I actually met my current partner through fencing. (If you love someone, stab them with an epee) 🤺

Do you use sarcasm?

On occasion, but I don't think I use it often enough. When I was younger, I had a hard time understanding sarcasm and still struggle with it today every once in a while. It's just hard to tell sometimes whether a person is joking or being genuine/passive aggressive. When I use sarcasm, I try to go over the top with inflection to try and make it obvious I'm joking. Just want to make it easier for others.

What is the first thing you notice about people?

How they make me feel. I get this is supposed to be a physical description thing, but I usually won't pay attention to someone unless they have something that gets a reaction out of me. If they wear a shirt I like, I notice. If they successfully throw a ball of paper in the trash while yelling "Michael Jordan," I notice. If they like one of my comments online, I notice. All of those things make me feel joy and help me notice the person who did the thing. 😊

What's your eye color?

Purple 🟣

Scary movies, or happy endings?

Happy endings. Yeah, it's cliche, but I feel bad for people who don't reach a satisfying conclusion. And scary movies can be fun, but I watch them more for the story than the jump scares and grotesque aesthetics. It's great if a movie makes me uncomfortable with it's writing, but being uncomfy isn't something I like feeling.

Any talents?

None that I feel confident enough in to be deemed "Ultimate" or "Super High School Level" but I am able to write words on a page... so that's a thing, right?

Where were you born?

The American Underworld. To compare it to somewhere in the Overworld, I guess you could say I live in the Midwestern United States.

What are your hobbies?

Writing, video editing, gaming, listening to video essays, watching vtubers, reading fanfiction, daydreaming about random nonsensical things.

Do you have any pets?

Nope, never grew up with any and never felt comfortable taking care of one for the longest time. But my partner has a cat that I would protecc with my last dying breath.

How tall are you?

I am 5' 6" which is about average female height I think?

Favorite subject in school?

Creative writing. No surprise huh? English was okay, but other students made it disruptive and teachers focused more on sentence diagrams than actual storytelling.

Dream job?

I would love to do vtubing full-time, but don't think it will ever be realistic. I wish I had more time to write and create fictional worlds. But if I can't find the words, I also wouldn't mind video editing and slicing segments in a timeline to create a story that way.

.

..

...

Uhhh... oh shit! Now I have to tag 15 friends? Hmmmm... well Emery already tagged Tor and Axo... among others I know... *realizes I don't have a big friend group at all* uhhhhhh okay okay. I call upon the power of friends and mutuals!!

@yuzu-adagio @drakamut @azure-shades-of-blue @marvellovelacevt @draconick @slash-gallagher @vchuuberyl @overlord-jarvis @aurumatom @itsdracool @maidgamerclaire @saliferousanimations @moonfeatherblue @sisallacertavt @hatenayuri

Sorry if you've already been tagged or are not interested in doing these kinds of things! Totally allowed to ignore this! But I just think y'all are cool and deserve to let others know more about you if you wanna.

Thank you for reading!!

[vivizn]

Re: the tags you put on my post; you don't have to figure out the gender stuff all at once. You mentioned dresses? Try wearing dresses! Try a different set of pronouns, try a new name. None of that stuff has permanent ramifications. Take advantage of your group of non-cis friends for support with the name and pronouns stuff, they'll be thrilled to help. If you're "wrong" and you're "just" a GNC cis guy? That's still a great thing to be, if you're doing it on purpose!

(Future me here, quick info. Context at the bottom, and OP this turned out kinda long so read this when you have 5min to spare.)

Oh, uh, hi

Sorry, didn't expect a feedback on that, i was kinda yelling into the void and i keep forgetting this site is made of people ^^'

First off, thanks for reaching out, always nice to see that happening. And i hope you had, have and will have a nice day. Triple kindness in your face.

Secondly, dresses. It's kind of an ironic love that i have for those? Like, i just like wearing dresses for the bit (or on rare occasions i'll wear my skirt cuz it's faster to take on/off than pants). I say i get giddied up but It's really more because of the reaction of those around me (they find it funny (not in a mean way) so i'm glad i made them laugh).

Thirdly(?), changing names / pronouns. My *checks bio* neo-gendered sibling in christ, i can't even name my OCs, what makes you think i can name ME ToT ? As for the pronouns, eh... idk, i'm fine with keeping he/him i think, keeps things consistant. Again, default settings. I definitly need to try it one day though.

Fouthly? Fourtly? Fourd? Fuck, permanence. You fool. You absolute baffoon (affectionate). How dare you think for a moment have what it takes to handle ephemerality? I literally have mlp themed stickers still in package because i don't want to deal with using them somewhere and later not having them anymore. Either I will give up after the first time someone uses another set of pronouns, or the short period of time where they did will haunt me forever because nothing came out of it. <- also work if i end up changing pronouns, my brain is good at thinking bad. (I also have a suspicious amount of ND friends. Yeah yeah, i know, the idea of seeing a therapist sounds sexier everyday.)

5 (because i'm tired, it's 3am), being wrong. That is actually something i somewhat enjoy surprisingly. Because at least that means i have something to go off of, a starting point. That's usually all i need to start working on anything that require thought (so literally everything). I'd rather have someone tell me to do a thing and then shit on the thing they told me to do than having someone tell me "just follow your heart 🥰🥰🥰". Like, cool bro, how do i do that? Bitch won't move, how am i supposed to follow it?

1/3 of 666, credits. I never know how to close off rants because i always forget the first 3 points i try to make. So uhhh thanks to your patience if you've read through that (i feel like you would), sorry for ranting/venting(?) on what was just supposed to be a positive message i think. Thanks again for trying to reach out, but i honestly think i've got to deal with my other problems before i can tackle my gender (like the o so joyful experience of finding a job. yay.) (<- monotonest voice ever).

original post + my tags for those interested in context, AKA: hi alexxel, hi malt (watch out for the rant in your name, i'm gonna steal it), probably hi gayotic

And a pic of me in a dress because i feel like it

Couldn't find a dress so all you get is a fashion disaster, feat a hat i borrowed from a friend to complete the fit.

[vethsoddities]

Veth’s Steph and Pete Headcanons

CW:This Follows The canon of NPMD the best I can so mention of funeral’s and death and the like so be warned if I forget any warns tell me and I’ll add them

and if I spelt or got any lore wrong lmk nicely thank you

Master List

A/n: I’m totally “normal” about these two I wrote these at 1 - 2 am and b4 that I tagged all of these at 1am hope these makes since I’m on new meds and they made me kinda tried and my eyes hurt so bad anyhow my requests are open check my master list it’s pinned on my profile anyway enjoy these headcanons I’m also going through and editing all this at 2:58 am so technically I’ve been working on this from 1 am to 2 am to 3 am I hope you like this

Stephanie Lauter and Peter Spankoffski headcanons

After all that happened in NPMD ie Steph losing her dad and Pete losing Richie and Ruth and Steph having to shoot him and Max stopping the bullet and doing the whole “I’m the only one who can kill you nerdy prudes” and Grace taking one for the the team by giving up what she cherished most 

Pete and Steph didn’t want to be far from each other and ending up holding each other for a while so that led to them having sleepovers at the others home Steph hated being all alone in that big house so she was glad to have Pete being there with her.

They both try to comfort the other when they start to breakdown after all that has happened Steph seems like the type who doesn’t know how to comfort someone same with Pete but they both try and they love the other for that

Steph and Pete didn’t label their relationship right away because they weren’t sure what would happen after all that went down but they knew for a fact they loved the other after a LONG and I mean a Long time of denying the fact they were in love each other like they canonically had a song about it too but after a bit calls each other their partner or girlfriend/ boyfriend thing

These two in my mind both have They in their pronouns and or possibly t4t because they aren’t totally straight in my mind Pete to me seems unlabeled but Steph is either Pansexual or Bisexual and could be gender-fluid and or She/they but either Gender fluid or Demi girl she has She/They pronouns

Pete without a doubt is trans FTM and uses He/Him and possibly on occasion uses They and or them and I could possibly see him as Asexual but I’m not for sure on that one just yet

Pete definitely drives home the fact that Steph is smart and that he’s proud of her and whatever else Solomon told her is bull shit and he loves her no matter what and that he will be their for her no matter what

Steph does the same type of thing for Pete that he is in fact cool to her and not a loser and comforts him fully and says that he’s a handsome always especially when gender dysphoria kicks his ass and will be their for him through it all

This could be me projecting but these two would probably give a little smooch on the other’s forearm and tell the other they love them

I feel like Steph would do Pete’s hair into different hairstyles, Steph definitely teases him lovingly about the bow ties still

Steph at some point mentioned thinking about doing a wolf cut or short hair and Pete supported her no matter what Steph did the same with his hair if he wanted to cut it or let it grow more either way she could still run her hands through his hair

And as Steph does in canon affectionately calls Pete a Nerd and him possibility calling her Mean Girl or probably something else it’s 3:11 am rn and I’m proof reading this when I could be sleeping to creativity is low lmfao

Homecoming was fun for both of them and as it should be I think they have photos of it both digital and Polaroid and for the Polaroids, they have the pictures hanging up on an aesthetic string and clips thing

Content warring here’s the mention of Funerals and death(ig I don’t think I say it at all but still be aware)

Now when it came to the funeral’s of Richie,Ruth it was a ruff time for both of them and seeing as they all were friends it was one of the Moments Steph comforts Pete even if it wasn’t something she was good at still

and after words they visit Ruth and Richie’s graves and leaves flowers and possibly Anime themed stuff for Richies grave and no matter what both Ruth and Richie gets flowers on their respective graves 

When Solomon’s funeral came around I think Stephanie kinda shut down having to be around her fathers colleagues friends and connecting and was going into auto pilot going through the motions of everything that she knew how to act as to make sure Solomon’s image looked good

Pete was their with her and after a while pulled her away from the people so he could make sure she was okay as she could be for what was happening and she just broke down and they decided to leave after funeral things happened

I feel like after wards of both funerals just like after NPMD but before homecoming’s they just held each other to comfort one another and saying sweet things to each other because they love each other

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Beyond the Blood Tie - Chapter Nineteen.

A huge thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing this! It makes me so happy when I see notifications come through on it :)

Previous Chapters - One  Two, Part One Part Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen  Sixteen  Seventeen  Eighteen

Words - 5,655

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. Minors DNI!

Angel's POV

"Being outlaw, it just made sense to me, you know? I wasn’t all that good in school, EZ was the golden child there, and I couldn’t ever live up to that, so I quit trying. My parents were gonna be disappointed in me no matter what. They still loved me, but I was nothing compared to him and his trajectory, until he fucked up, shot a cop and then did time for it, but I already explained all of that to you.  

“So, yeah. Being a criminal is where I excelled in life. Being a tattoo artist is a nice change of pace for my death. I don’t get nearly the same amount of female interest as I once did, though. Then again, a lot of people are still shit scared of vampires, so that explains it, I mean, not that I’d want it now that I have you, but shit, being an outlaw is a cert for getting you laid,” I explain to Edie as we lie in bed talking. This is the first time I've told anyone of my life after being made vampire, of course. It feels good to do so with her.

"Yeah, I know you were very popular with a lot of women. When we were blood tied before, I saw a lot of them through your memories," she tells me while I sit and curl a strand of her hair around my finger over and over.

"I was, I won't lie. Although I can wager a lot of them only wanted me because of what I did rather than who I actually was," I confess.

"I think it probably had a lot to do with the fact that you're gorgeous, too," she whispers, reaching up to stroke my cheek. She's lying here next to me resting her chin on my chest with her hands stroking me or finding mine on occasion. It feels more blissful than I could ever have let myself imagine.

"I agree, that too," I wink, laughing when she rolls her eyes, mouthing ‘show off’ at me.

"Well, you certainly made sure you'd look good for all eternity. This body, damn, dude.” She runs her finger down my bicep, tickling my armpit with her fingernail, before trailing over my chest, her hand coming to rest again. “God, you’re so fucking sexy!” she exclaims, hiding her face for a moment. “And you’re mine!”

“I am,” I confirm. “Not so bad looking yourself there, either. Believe me, trying to be good and complying with your wishes not to dive on you ain’t easy at all. The way you looked in that dress tonight, fucking hell! Damn, girl.” She giggles then, leaning in close and kissing me. “Gorgeous.” I kiss her again, Edie humming happily into my mouth as she strokes my beard.  

I got her back. I fucking got my girl back.  

"So, we've veered off course a little. What did you enjoy doing away from your life in the MC?" she then asks me.

"I liked to be artistic with pencils and paint, which shows in what I now do for a living. Mainly, though, it was hitting the gym, having lots of sex and drinking. I was an active human, but I also enjoyed a great deal of sitting on my ass watching movies and eating bad food," I tell her, watching her smile.

"That's like me. I feel great when I work out but I also feel great when I sit on the couch eating fried chicken and watching old television shows on the Historic Comedy Network, stuff like Golden Girls, Cheers and 3rd Rock from the Sun I particularly enjoy." She attempts to stifle a yawn but doesn’t quite manage it.

"I used to watch 3rd Rock with Coco before we joined the club, back when we only worked shitty assed part-time jobs," I reveal, suddenly feeling a little low for thinking of my late friend. If only Charles and Ursula had seen us sooner, seen him, too. I think he would have liked being a vampire.

"Does it feel really far away, when you lost him and the others? Or does that much time really not put distance between something as big as losing everyone you knew bar one person? Sorry if that's an insensitive question.”

"No, of course it isn't. You're right, time does put distance between then and now, obviously. It doesn't feel as bad to me as it did back then, when I was still human. Being vampire has numbed me to it all somewhat. They're all still in my memories though, where they'll remain forever," I reply, smiling and stroking her cheek when she yawns again. "We can resume talking tomorrow. You need to sleep, and the dawn is approaching anyway, so I'll be no use to you then either."

"That'd be nice. After everything tonight, I think I need my rest. I feel pretty mentally exhausted. Too much excitement," she says, moving up the bed a little more to kiss me.

"I'm looking forward to the fact when I open my eyes again, you'll be the first thing I see. Goodnight, beautiful," I tell her, kissing her head and wrapping her in my arms.

"Don’t get too excited, I look all feral first thing in the morning.” I can’t help but snort with laughter.

“No, you don’t! Be quiet, and go to sleep.” She gives me another kiss before resting her head down on my chest. I lie here and stare down at her for a few moments before shutting my eyes, sleep taking hold.  

When they open again many hours later, I find that Edie is still sleeping in exactly the same place she was when I fell asleep, and so as not to wake her, I hold my hand under her head and then quickly move myself out from underneath her, resting her head back down again before dressing and doing my hair. I need to go and feed before I clean my teeth. Yes, quite a few of us vampires brush our teeth. We'd smell like a butcher's shop if we didn't. After quickly heading out to procure a feed from a regular dinner donor of mine, I head back home and find I have someone waiting for me in the hallway, her arms folded as stares at me with a look of slight confusion.

"Why is Edie upstairs asleep in your bed?" Ursula questions me immediately.

"I decided the pain of being without her would be greater than the pain of her binding me in silver so we can have the relationship we want with each other," I confess simply, watching her face as she slowly begins to smile. "I thought that would be a truer test of my vampirism, to go through pain in order to get what I want than go through pain and still have nothing." I then add, as my creator begins to nod heartily, and then moves to hug me.

"I'm so pleased for you, and so very proud, too. It shows how much you love her very clearly, to be willing to go through such pain in order to sustain a sexual relationship with her. Yes, you are correct. It is a greater test for you to go through," she confirms in agreement, kissing my cheek.

"There's something I wanted to discuss with you about it, a small theory I had, but one that I'm not so sure on," I then ask, knowing Ursula will be more than willing to help with my thoughts. If you couldn't tell by now, she very much likes discussion.

"To the kitchen, let us sit.” Five seconds later and I'm sitting down opposite her while she listens intently to my theory.

"I've been wondering for a time, since I first began to develop feelings for Edie that maybe my problem was only ever a problem with all those other girls because I didn't care one iota about them. I'm challenging the notion that I'll do the exact same thing to Edie at the point of blowing my load, because I actually do love her. I know I have no conscious control over what I do when I reach that point, but what if something within that unconsciousness could prevent me from doing it to Edie, like a stop switch being flicked in my brain, and giving me the message not to? Sorry, I know I didn't articulate that as well as I probably could have," I explain, shaking my head.

"No, my precious one, I understand your point completely. To be perfectly honest with you, I have been quietly wondering the exact same thing. I discussed it with Charles recently, but I didn't want to say anything to you and give you any false hope. I think for certain the first time you and Edie have sex you need to be chained down, but then when you reach the point of no return, as it were, try to gauge how you feel. If you feel exactly the same, that murderous feeling that overcomes you one minute only to come round from it and not remember the moment fully, then you'll know Edie sadly isn't an exception. If you feel anything different to that, well that is what will tell you whether you can trust yourself to remove the restrains the next time you both try," she explains to me, while I sit and nod.

"What you've said makes perfect sense. Thanks, Ursula. I really do appreciate it since, it's something I'm looking forward to, but yet dreading in equal measures. I know I can't hurt her when bound in silver, but..." I trail off, trying to find the words to convey how it makes me feel.

"You still don't want to feel anything less than loving and attentive to her while you're having sex with her. You don't even want to feel that urge to kill her, despite being bound because she's the woman you love, and you only want to look at her though loving eyes, not ones that wish to harm her, no matter how much that isn't what you truly want," she offers, hitting the nail right on the head.

"Exactly that.” I love the way she can try and guess what I want to convey and then articulate it so perfectly for me.

"Well, I suppose you'll want to be getting back to her, let me keep you no more," Ursula stands from the table, and with that I zoom out of my seat and back up to my room where I find Edie awake and tapping out a text on her phone at the window, where she's smoking.

"Good morning, even though it's evening," she tells me with a big smile.

"Sentiment returned. How long have you been awake for?" I ask, moving to her side and then picking her up while I sit on the end of the couch, putting her down on my lap.

"Only about fifteen minutes, and I don't quite feel fully awake yet either. I need to go and out and search for coffee, oh and food," she replies, her stomach growling at her right on cue.

"The coffee I can help with, as that's something we have in the house, but food I can't, sadly. I'll take you to get something to eat though, if you like?" I offer, stroking her hair and kissing her head.

"I forgot about that, that you have tea and coffee here. Of course, you made me a tea last night. Also thank you for the offer of taking me to get food, but won't the smell be massively off putting to you?”  I like that, how she's mindful over my own likes and dislikes in the face of her own needs.

"Get something to take out and eat it back at yours, at least then I won't be bombarded by the aromas of several different dishes all at once. Is that okay with you?" I have to meet her halfway, here. She’s human; they need food, obviously. My nose and I will have to deal with it.  

"That's absolutely fine.” After she's finished her cigarette and gone to get dressed, and I've brushed my teeth, we leave, heading to fetch her something to eat. After she's chosen a tofu stir fry with noodles and green beans (she's not vegetarian, she just likes the stuff) we head back to her place, Edie changing into a pair of beaten-up old jeans and a cropped vest before coming back out to eat. I try not to look too repulsed by the food smell, but god, it’s so bad.

"How bad is it, the smell of food to you? What could you liken it to for me to understand what it's like for you to smell it?" she asks me, twirling noodles around her fork.

"Imagine sitting next to a corpse that's beginning to rot, or putrid garbage without feeling ill. That's what it's like for us being around food. It's marginally better at the moment because you aren't eating meat, that's one thing that is truly repellent to us, the smell of dead flesh being cooked," I explain for her, watching her pull a slightly sour face.

"I'm sorry, I'll go finish this outside.” She makes a start to leave, but I halt her.  

"No, no, I ain’t gonna stop you from eating in your own home. I’ll just have to deal with it. Either that or go occupy myself. What were those jobs you said you needed to get done while we were waiting for your food?" She stops chewing immediately.  

"I can't ask you to do my chores for me, Angel," she states, with a little frown.

"You're not asking, I'm offering. It'll take me minutes anyway, and then means once you've eaten, we can go back to enjoying that nice discussion we were having before we went to sleep last night. So, what needs to be done?"  

"Well, if you insist. I needed to rake the leaves out of the lawn, which I was going to leave until morning, I have to do my dark wash and clean the bathroom, and also vacuum and dust in the lounge," she replies. "I feel bad though, are you sure you don't mind?" she then adds, poking out her bottom lip in an adorably cute way.

"I wouldn't have offered if I minded. Now, point me in the direction of everything I need to do those aforementioned chores and I’ll get to it.” After she's pointed at the cupboards that contain everything I need, I leave her to her smelly food and begin the tasks I appointed myself to do. Combined, they'd take Edie about an hour I should imagine, but with me on the case I'm all finished by the time she's eaten and washed her plate, all ready to recommence the getting to know you chatter I so enjoyed with her last night.

Edie's POV

"Even in the dark I can tell you did a better job than me at leaf raking, damn that's tidy, and my lounge looks great. Thank you, wonderful boyfriend," I tell Angel, kissing his cheek, noticing him suddenly frown, but beam at the same time. "What? Sorry was my use of the word boyfriend too soon?" I then ask, worried I've been a little hasty.

"No, it’s fine, because we are together now after all, so that’s what I am. It was just strange and nice at the same time to hear me being referred to as that, as someone's boyfriend, when I haven't been one to anyone in a hundred years," he replies, wrapping me in his arms tightly and kissing me again. I know I was only telling Katya recently that I didn't want a relationship at the moment, but if I'm honest, it wasn't really true. I didn't want one with anyone else other than the vampire at my side.  

"In turn, I haven't had a boyfriend in a long time, ten years to be precise. I know that's not a long time by your standards, but it is to me," I state, moving out of his embrace to go and sit on the couch, with him following me.

"So, who was he then, tell me about him," he asks.

"His name was Joey, and I met him when I'd just begun my training to become a punisher. He was a little put off by it at first, my career choice, but he got his head around it in the end. Or so I thought. You know how some people think where us punishers are concerned," I explain, watching him nod immediately.

"Yes, I do know of the various stereotypes punishers are often subjected to," he interjects with. Common belief is that we're all violent meat heads with no brains and all brawn, and that just because of our job, they think we'll beat down people at the drop of a hat outside of work, too. They don't use their brains and actually look up our jobs at all, and a whole host of information about the punishment enforcement vocation can be readily found online. If they did look, they'd see that public brawling is something we can be disciplined over and punished for ourselves, just as much as the next person.

"Well, Joey was much the same until he saw that underneath the hard exterior and the fact I was training to do such a barbaric job really didn't stop me being a nice and good person. I explained it was doing this that would keep me on the straight and narrow and I was right. He only stuck around for a year though, until he told me that my job was what caused our demise. That wasn't fully true, he was one of these men who listened to his mother too much, and she gave him a lot of shit for being in a relationship with me. Apparently, I brought shame to the family, so I had to go in his mind. That was okay though, because his best friend Ed had begun giving me the attention Joey was failing to by the time we broke up. I didn't cheat on him or anything, but four hours after he finished with me, I was in bed with Ed," I confess, making Angel laugh.

"You don't waste your time, do you?" he exclaims through his laughter.

"No, I absolutely don't. Nothing really came of me and Ed sleeping together, though. We had casual sex for about a year until I started seeing a girl called Debbie, and then she turned out to be a crazy whack job. She's the one who did this, so I beat her ass and told her never, ever to come near me again," I say while gesturing to the scars on my chest. "She was drunk and attacked me with a broken bottle because she was convinced that I'd been stealing from her. In return, I broke her nose and about three of her fingers before I threw her out of my apartment and never saw her again." I then add, while Angel trails his fingers over the marks left there. Of course, he's noticed them before back when he was a detainee and I was his punisher. How things have changed in the space of four months.

"You also don't take any crap from people either. This makes me wonder why you entertained the shit Katya was giving you even for a moment," he ponders, while I move to rest my head on his lap, stretching my legs out along the couch.

"I was trying to take my mind off you, but even if it hadn't been you who I was looking at up on the balcony before it all kicked off, and even if what followed hadn't happened, I'd have still kicked her to the curb for being possessive when we weren't even in a relationship. I made that very clear as well. Thankfully, I don't have that to worry about any longer," I tell him, reaching up to stroke his cheek.

"Oh, I can be possessive, but I'm not jealous and I'll always trust you, unlike Katya, who didn't. I just won't trust anyone else who might be checking you out. I don't like sharing my toys, and I know there will be plenty of vampires out there who'll expect me to share you with them. I know I said to you I didn't believe in monogamy, but I also said that was unless I met someone who was worthy of it, you're definitely worthy of it," he says, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

"In turn I also believe in being faithful to someone who makes me want just that, them and only them, and you do. I also get the feeling you're mature enough to understand that looking is just looking, it doesn't mean I'm about to go off and cheat," I explain, something that Katya seemed to have firmly stuck in her mind. I pity the next poor soul who she gets her possessive claws into.

"Of course, I am a hundred and thirty-six years old, after all. If I'm not mature enough to realise that at the age I am now, then I never will be!" he exclaims, laughing a little.

"Have you ever had to deal with a jealous girl throwing accusations at you?" I ask.

"I had plenty of them, but they were all justified. As a human, I wasn't as well behaved as you. The lines of me finishing with one woman and taking up with another were always a little blurred. I was a man whore, basically. When I met Luisa, I was actually seeing someone else, and had been for a while, but to be honest I wasn't faithful to her at all. I was to Luisa, though. I never cheated on her in the two years we were together. Mainly because she’d have probably killed me for it. All the rest, well I was bad. Very bad.” At least he has the grace to look a little ashamed.

"So, I'm not only the first woman you're in a relationship with as a vampire, but only the second you've ever been concerned about being faithful to. I can't help but feel a little proud of that,” I smile, stroking his chest. Hmm, all this talk of relationships and faithfulness has my mind turning to many sexual thoughts. I'm going to make him wait, though. He's not getting into my underwear that easily. Suddenly, he begins to smile at me, and in a way that shows he's cottoned on to what I'm thinking. "You're still not getting any.”  

"Are you really sure about that?" He teases, running a finger down the centre of my body from the middle of my ribcage, slowly down to my belly button while leaning down to kiss my stomach. Just that one slow movement of his finger across my skin made my insides feel like they're melting.

"Positive," I reply with a wink before sitting up to kiss him. That kiss though, well it does nothing to calm either of us down again, with me moving to sit astride him as our kiss deepens, his hands pressing to the base of my back and running up slowly and deliciously. Damnit, I could tear his clothes off right now, but no. He will wait. He will.

Moving his mouth to my neck, he hums a soft groan. "Are completely, positively and totally sure?" I nod in confirmation, bringing my mouth back to his. “There is one way... that we could enjoy ourselves... without actually... having sex.” he offers, his words punctuated with further kisses to my neck.

"What did you have in mind?"  

"Why don't I just show you, and then if you don't like it, feel free to stop me?" I guess there's nothing wrong with that, but it all depends on what his intentions are. I suppose I only have one way to find out.

"Alright.” He moves, seating me on the couch, placing himself before me, kneeling on the floor, running his hands down my legs, before starting to undo my jeans, pulling them off. His mouth then begins to travel in slow, sumptuous tease up my inner thigh, my nerves bouncing as I become engulfed in anticipation.  

His lips are cool, but the kisses blaze hot, his thumbs hooking beneath my undies and removing those as well. A little growl of want echoes his throat, seeing me so intimately for the first time, spreading my thighs, his pupils becoming dilated, his mouth moving to spread the same magmatic kisses down my other thigh, his cool breath fluttering over my skin, the excitement of the moment making his body respond as he begins to breathe again, as vampires often do in such circumstances.

His beard feels soft and tickly against my skin, his mouth nearing the junction of my thighs, keeping me teetering in anticipation for a few moments, before his lips press a kiss to my pubic mound, once, twice, lowering, the cool wet of his tongue skimming a lick at my folds. My hips jolt, Angel rumbling a quiet chuckle, doing it again, before he dives right in, his tongue pressing to me, gilding me in a long, slow, flat lick.  

My mouth drops open upon a soft moan, his repetition causing me to hold my breath, my cunt beginning to tingle with arousal, his tongue swirling at my opening until I remember to breathe, panting, my eyes closing as I moan again, feeling myself becoming dewy. A long swipe brings the very tip of his tongue right to where I’m craving it, nudging at my clit before flicking softly over it, stopping to suck, his cheeks hollowing, his hands wrapping around my thighs and softly gripping as I rest my feet upon his broad back.  

My mouth is literally hanging open, hardly able to believe he's only just started going down on me and it feels this good already. Running my hands through his silky hair, I begin moaning loudly, unashamedly, each ministration of his mouth making my body shiver and shake. He's damned thorough with his tongue, making sure it slithers across every single millimetre of hot, pink flesh. Oh my god, he’s got me so fucking wet!

He emerges, looking very pleased with himself. “So,” he begins, leaning to kiss me. “Want me to stop?”

"No!” I cry breathlessly.

"I didn't think you would," he chuckles, obviously very confident in his capabilities. He really has no reason not to be either.

"Not when you've made me this wet," I purr, rubbing my fingers between my legs and then sliding two into his mouth. “Ouch!” I exclaim, when after his fangs have shot, one grazing my knuckle.

"Sorry, don’t worry, I’ll keep ‘em away from right here," he says, making them recede back up into his gums again while his thumb strokes over my clit, kissing me once more on the mouth before his travels back down my body and continues to give me the most remarkably potent pleasure I've ever felt. Oh my fucking god, he’s so good!

I don't think it can get much better, until he demonstrates just how fast he can use his tongue, resuming the soft beat he flicks at my clit with, sucking on it, continuing licking, going faster... and faster... oh my life, how is he real... and faster... and, oh... faster. Imagine if a vibrator was made of soft, wet flesh instead of hard plastic or silicone. That’s how fucking fast I’m talking. Jesus. Fucking. Christ.  

He has me wailing in bliss as I shake against his mouth, my thighs brushing his face, absolutely drowning in utter bliss. To my pleasant and almost disbelieving surprise, the pleasure I'm having bestowed on me by such a talented vampire only intensifies, his tongue working more thoroughly and quickly with every movement as I feel him sliding two fingers inside me, sating my desire to be internally gratified with something.  

My mind actually begins to wander, pondering if I have anything silver in the house (most of my jewellery is gold apart from a few pairs of earrings and some bracelets) because I want him so desperately right now. My mind jolts back out of my thoughts over necessary sexual restraints when I feel his fingers push firmly and precisely within me, and cause me to literally howl with the tingles that erupt from such touch. That wasn’t even on my g spot, that was somewhere else entirely, and... how does he know?!  

"Oh...oh fuck! Oh!" I moan breathlessly, my voice pinched and high with the pleasure radiating through me forcefully, my legs shaking uncontrollably as I can feel an orgasm beginning to build rapidly. My nails dig into the back of his neck and my mouth opens to let a hollering yell out when I cum quick and hard. “Oh my fucking god, Angel! How are you that good?”

He grins at me, kissing my slit. “I’ve had lots of practice,” he begins, moving those kisses to the side of my thigh, his fingers still trawling my tender walls, but gently. “And if you think I don’t know where every single last nerve ending in a pussy is at a hundred and thirty-six years old, well, you’re kidding yourself.”  

“Yeah! You pressed against places not even I knew about!” I cry, making him laugh.  

“I’ll show you a few more, too. Like here.”

Immediately, my hips jump.

“And here.”

“Oh my god!”

“And...” His fingertips circle around, my body convulsing when he presses. “Here?”

“Yes, right there!”

He hums a chuckle, tongue skating over my clit again. Wait... he’s not finished? With that newly discovered spot right up deep inside me stroked by crooked fingers, his tongue continues to lay licks over my sensitive little bud, softly at first, before he increases the pressure and speed, having me crying out again in no time. This time, when it hits me, he wraps my clit in the wetness of his lips, sucking my release from me as I undulate against his face, his groans sending trembles through me, my pussy absolutely soaking.  

“I feel like Spiderman, look at that shit!” he exclaims, pulling his fingers from me, a sparkling stream of wetness still connecting us. “When’s it gonna break?” he muses, moving his hand slowly, laughing before finally, it snaps. “Ping!” he announces, sucking the thick coating of my wetness from his fingers, while I laugh in hysterics.  

“I think I need a very big drink after that, geez!” I pant, Angel shaking his head.  

“You’re under the assumption I’m finished. I’m not.”  

What?

He laughs, reaching to close my open mouth. “I’ll be down here a while yet.” And he is, to the tune of me reaching swelteringly intense orgasms a total of five times, until I physically have to pull his head back up from between my legs again.

"You're too good at that, seriously!" I exclaim, kissing him.

He grins against my lips. "Just wait until I fuck you." We fall into heated kisses, his body pressed between my legs as he leans against me, his cock like iron at my hip. “Give me a minute, I just gotta... yeah.” He vanishes in an instant, the bathroom door closing behind him, while I stand on shaky legs, grabbing a handful of tissues to dry off my crotch, which is akin to Niagra fucking falls right now.  

Turning back to the couch, I giggle a little embarrassedly at the small damp patch I’ve left behind, wondering why he’s shot into the bathroom, until I physically feel it. I can feel his arousal pouring out of him in waves through our blood tie, and I work out that what he's just done to me has obviously excited him to a level beyond his comfort, so he's had to go relieve himself. I go and dispose of the tissues in the kitchen, meeting him on his way back from the bathroom.

"Better now?" I inquire.

"Yeah. Too much pent-up frustration, and it needed an immediate outlet, so I chose my hand," he replies, putting his arms around me and kissing the top of my head while I laugh. After our little sexual interlude, we spend the rest of the evening just lying on the couch talking in each other's arms, not moving until dawn is almost upon us, forcing him to leave.

"I'll call you at about 1am tomorrow when I'm finished at work. You'll be on a break around then, won't you?" he asks, standing in my arms, kissing me on the doorstep. I don’t want him to leave! I’m not gonna be that chick, though, the needy one who can’t cope being away from her boyfriend.

"Yeah, I should be, our break times aren't set in stone though, so if I don't answer I'll call you back when I can talk," I reply, rubbing my nose against the end of his and watching him smile.

"Okay. Goodnight, my beautiful woman, I love you.”

"Goodnight, gorgeous. Sleep well." I coo softly, kissing him again before he turns and leaves. Shutting the front door, I lean back against it, actually sliding down until I'm sitting on the floor, squeaking with joy while frantically flapping my hands around excitedly. He's gorgeous, he loves me, he's attentive, he's romantic and god damnit, his tongue moves faster than your average tornado. After being in a relationship for only twenty-four hours with my vampire, I cannot remember a time I was happier romantically than I am now.  

That's always the way when you get with someone you really, really like, isn't it?

[crehador]

2 18 25 ! 🪱

combining these!

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

all of them no in all seriousness uhhh maybe the one that necessitated these tags

of my three appare-ranman fics two were so uwu and then there was this old man bastard yaoi lol

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

i feel like i rarely actively seek out inspiration these days, it comes from everywhere! there's too much of it in fact!! my problem has always been too many ideas and not enough time/creative ability to write them all

for icsm especially it comes from all over the place, everything reminds me of them lmao like i'll just be watching haruki play totk and my no thoughts head empty icsm only brain will be like "oh oh oh samatoki plays totk"

12) your weaknesses as an author

oh so so many and i don't even say that as a bad thing, it is always good to know you have room to improve!

i think one of my biggest weaknesses is descriptive writing. not all writing has to be Very descriptive to be good, but it is something i would like to improve on in my own work

another is... earnestness, maybe? like sometimes i worry i pull away from meaningful moments when i should be leaning in to them

also action scenes/fight scenes! i don't write them very often and would love more practice with those

13) your strengths as an author

i hope it's dialogue and comedy lol because i am always writing those a lot and they are very fun to write! lovely commenters have also said on some occasions that i am good at characterization which feels almost too generous but would be neat if true

like personally i don't think my characters (in fanfic) are necessarily always the most in-character, but i do think one of my strengths is keeping characterization consistent and believable within a fic. so even if it's maybe a bit off from canon, within an isolated fic it more or less tracks and ends up feeling (i hope) like 'good' characterization

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

many!! i don't think i have enough self-awareness to know exactly what affected me in what way, but i was one of those book-a-day kids growing up (oh to read that regularly again) and i'm sure many of those works influenced me greatly

i was also a memory-issues kid so i would struggle to remember what was most impactful though lmao

while it doesn't answer this question directly one thing i do remember is always struggling with like reading something great and thinking "this is good writing! and i don't write like this! therefore i must be a shit writer!" which is a way of thinking that is very important to unlearn lol (good writing can be good in different ways!)

so my recent journey has been more about not deliberately trying to emulate other writers too much, though i had a disastrously long phase of my youth in which i read way too many old white guys so tbh i probably write like an old white guy rn

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

the first thing that came to mind was a moment in pride (tg!au) but it's like the moment that i kind of don't want to pull out of context lol (the "i like you weird" conversation)

so i will go with a bit from stay gold that i skimmed again and don't hate:

"I would have rather had your bite," Usui admitted candidly, palming the gold coin and making it disappear into his sleeve once more. "I would have rather known you were capable of mourning your own life, of believing its loss would be worth avenging. But when you wouldn't bite down, even when I forced the coin between your teeth, even as your life bled away from you, I came to a realization. "It didn't matter if it was your bite or mine, if it was your choice or mine. There was a time when I believed the choice to live could only be made by you and you alone, and I must confess I still long for the day you'll be able to choose to live for yourself once more. "But until that day arrives, until you are prepared to make that choice, the others and I will choose for you. Because what matters to us, Taishin-sensei, is that you live."

[future-circuit]

tagged by @evergardenwall

it's a long one. it's late so i let myself get carried away, particularly in one question (if you scroll you'll know what i mean).

i'd feel kind of bad tagging anyone in this post since i just ramble a lot. but as always (even though i know no one ever accepts these open invitations), if you want to do it and you haven't been tagged, tag me as having said i did. i'd like to see.

1. what book are you currently reading?

technically none? i've mentioned before but i was reading New Finnish Grammar by Diego Marani a while ago and it's been sitting in my 'to finish' pile for months now but since i do English and have to read for that it's just been sitting on the backburner.

i have since bought about eleven other books that i'm determined to read over the course of 2023 that i'm really excited for but i'll finish New Finnish Grammar hopefully before the new semester starts.

2. what do you usually wear?

a t-shirt, a jumper and jeans. i am but a simple lad.

i pretty much only own jeans and i've been trying for years to expand my wardrobe but alas...

3. how tall are you?

164cm. yeah yeah. i know. i'm small. yuck it up.

4. what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

sagittarius and i don't think so

5. do you go by your name or a nickname?

online i always go by Yellow, i probably recognise it as my name more than my actual name at this point.

6. did you grow up to become what you wanted to be as a child?

what i wanted to be as a child was a vet (then when i figured that wouldn't work like a year later, i decided i wanted to work in an animal shelter before 2015 hit). so no, considering i'm not on that career track.

outside of careers though also no. unfortunately, somewhere along the line i found out about genders and that kind of fucked shit up a bunch. don't think young me would be impressed that i actually wear trousers now

7. what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

man i dunno what i'm good at. i'm pretty alright at the trombone. similarly i don't know what i'm bad enough at that it's notable. maths in general i guess.

8. if you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

i actually... it feels kind of narcissistic of me to say but i have a few favourite sections from my writing this year i like and yes i will share them. anyone who ends up reading this i know will skip this section but it's for my own sake.

the first two are from the chapter A Night Seems Termless Hell (Lang’s the Night Frae E’en to Morn) which is a set of loosely connected one-shots. this particular one i remember being really happy with after. i still kind of am (as you can probably tell). the third is from my portfolio piece - the second half of which was rushed and i don't particularly like but i love the first part still.

"Wandering the streets he no longer knew, towards a guiding light artificial in a way he’d once been familiar with, he felt out of place. Too big for the city he had grown up in. Too small for the world he’d once felt suffocated in. Tears pricked at his eyes but he’d already cried all of his tears back in Hisui and had none left for his own world."

___

"He didn’t know how to cook before he left for space. He’d always assumed [his mother would] be the one to teach him [...] she’d tell him on the rare occasions he was home before dinner and willing to help that it was alright for him to stay her little boy for a little while longer. He didn’t need to help and she’d let him know that that was alright. 

He could cook now, taught by a man that lived in a mountain that had taken him in when he hadn’t needed to. A man that Yuga knew his mother would love but would never get to meet."

___

"She’d skipped that step, of course, because she was one step ahead. She always was, because she read a lot of books and books were made of paper which came from trees. That meant that the wisdom of old trees had transferred into her as she read. She understood things that her parents and brother didn’t. Her mum read but was too busy to read as much as her. Her dad and brother weren’t big on reading. That was fine. Anya could be smart enough for all of them."

9. dogs or cats?

i don't really have a preference. i like them both for their own reasons.

10. what’s something you would like to create content for?

amatsuki!! i have an idea but i probably won't do anything other than think about it. it's written down though so i won't forget, so who knows.

11. what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

amatsuki and yugioh, big shocker there i'm sure. also sea slugs and dictionaries.

12. what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

i don't think i went into this year particularly expecting anything

13. what’s a hidden talent of yours?

if i have any talents they're hidden from me too

14. what’s something you wish to have at this moment?

money

[mokutone]

So, do you see Kakashi and Yamato as ONLY homies? I have nothing against shipping them, I just personally see them really well as just good friends.

sdgjkhsdkgjh i always feel a little silly answering questions like this, i'm not sure how well people understand what i'm trying to convey (nor that i convey it in an understandable way!)

i very much see them as homies, but i'm also not against shipping them at all, and i enjoy producing romantic content for that on occasion, especially in aus which are somewhat removed from canon, or when they're older and both of them have worked through some shit (lol)

but like mostly i am interested in like, the trust and intimacy that they have in canon and expanding upon that!

obvs i don't get upset with people who tag my stuff with those two with shiptags bc thats like, completely fine. I have some stuff which is intended to be romantic between them under the "kakayama" tag too.

It's just, like, these are two men who trust and rely on each other to an incredibly high and really endearing degree, and who are both clearly meaningful to each other. That's lovely and I love to see it and I love to play with it! It's not at all bad to interpret that as romantic, but it also doesn't have to be, you know? romantic intimacy is not the only kind of intimacy there is!

it's not like, if i were to imagine them in platonic scenarios, suddenly i could no longer depict them as trusting or being very affectionate towards each other, or being up in each other's spaces all the time. i wouldn't have to suddenly start depicting yamato's relationship to kakashi as simply stale admiration, or worse, a constantly disrespected subordinate or something.

i'm not like this only abt kakashi + yamato either btw, this is how i feel about like, most ships, especially in naruto. i am just somebody who cares a lot about friendship!!!

[theringers]

often - charles leclerc

summary: you’re unbelievably desperate for your boyfriend all night.

request: Hope u dont mind me requesting #79 and #82 w charles or lando😃 have a good day!!

prompt: 79) "Look at you, grinding against everything, you're really desperate for it. Aren't you?" 82) "Yeah, that's it, baby, just like that."

a/n: this is short & unedited so i apologize for the lack of “story” but this just came to my brain and i needed to write it down so enjoy also sorry if the gif is malfunctioning i’m ready to throw my phone at the window so just ignore lol

warnings: nsfw, dirty talk, 18+, teasing, obvi i had to include some public stuff bc it’s my brand

The live music was loud and blaring through your ears. You had requested a few songs and enjoyed drinks while you waited for the band to get to your request.

Charles stood up from the table to head towards the crowded bar. “Need anything, mon amour?” He looked at you.

You lifted your cup and smiled. “Another?” He nodded at you and walked towards the corner of the room. He knew you had a tolerance like no other and could outdrink him on any occasion. It was just humorous to him at this point.

“Are you excited for your trip?” Your friend asked from across the table.

“Oh, so excited. Charles and I haven’t been able to get away for a long time. It’s much needed.” You sat in your bar stool day dreaming about the blue waters of the Caribbean Sea and how you were about to spend weeks out there on the relaxing water.

Your friend took another sip of her drink. “I’m insanely jealous. Too bad Pierre and I can’t tag along.” She frowned.

“Next time, I promise. We’ll plan a trip just the four of us.” You both started laughing. “Or better yet, just the two of us. Girls trip.”

After a few more laughs, Charles walked up to your table with a drink in each hand. Pierre followed with the same. “Thank you,” you smiled at your boyfriend as he handed you another. You couldn’t remember how many this had been but you were feeling good and really enjoying yourself.

You sat all the way back in your barstool, but kept your drink at the table. This was the best possible solution to avoid drinking too quickly. Every time you needed a sip, you had to scoot yourself closer to the table, take a sip, and sit back. It was working pretty well.

Charles leaned over and spoke in your ear over the sound of the loud music. “I’m going to need you to stop doing that.”

You looked at him, confused. “What am I doing?”

He waved his hand around. “This.” He leaned in closer again. “You keep rocking your hips back and forth and it’s driving me crazy.”

You sat up and moved yourself closer to the table, rocking your hips at a painfully slow, yet discreet, pace. Your eyes found his and his focus was solely on you, sipping the remains of your drink.

“Anyone want another drink?” You asked the table as you hopped out of your seat.

“I’m good, I think I’m ready to head home soon actually. Pretty long day,” Charles said.

Your friend scoffed. “Nonsense, it’s only 11 o’clock.”

Charles looked at her with his head hung, then back at you. “Fine. One more drink.” He looked at Pierre. “See, this is what we have to deal with.”

You waited in the line for drinks and returned to your table. As soon as you scooted back in your barstool, Charles leaned over. “This is our last round of drinks. I’m going to need to take you home after this one.” You didn’t look over at him. You just kept your eyes straight ahead and smiled.

After more casual conversation with Pierre and his girlfriend, Charles called the car home. He took your hand and lead you out of the bar after leaving a hefty tip for the bartender.

Sliding into the back seat of the car, he acknowledged the driver and then went silent. You followed in after him, sliding across the seats. Your short sundress rode up creating friction between your clit and the car seats. You let out a soft moan, but ignored it, hoping no one else heard you. That was not the case.

The car started to move and Charles leaned over to you. He rested his hand on your thigh and whispered in your ear. “I heard that.” It sent chills up your spine.

The rest of the ride was silent, trying to focus on getting home without jumping each other’s bones in the backseat of the car. As soon as you arrived home, you both drunkenly stumbled in the door.

You shouted at Alexa to play some of your favorite music. Often by The Weeknd came out of your speakers.

Charles sat down on the couch with his hands on his knees. A deep breath escaped his lips as he took in the dark apartment around him.

“What’s up?” You asked, walking over to him.

“Long day,” he said. You nodded in response.

Leaning down towards him, you spread your legs to straddle him on the couch. You sat back with your weight on his knees, looking at him. “I love you,” you said to him.

“I love you too, mon amour,” he said. You felt his hands grip your waist. You began to slowly shift your hips around - starting with back and forth, and a little bit of side to side.

“I had a really fun time tonight,” you said.

“Me too, I’m glad we decided to go out.”

“It’s always a good time with them.” You were lucky enough to play matchmaker for Pierre, setting him up with your best friend. It was a win-win. He got a beautiful girlfriend and in return, you got to have your best friend accompany you on vacations, to races, PR events, galas, the whole nine. It was a smart move on your part.

You looked down at Charles, focusing on his messy hair. He was always such a perfectionist about how he appeared, but that all went down the drain when he drank alcohol. You kind of loved it, seeing him let loose a bit and not care so much. You ran your fingers through his messy locks and smiled.

“That dress looks so sexy on you,” he said. His eyes absorbed your body all over and his hands began to move up and down your sides.

“I knew you would like it.” You started to move your hips with more intensity.

“You want to tell me about what happened in the car?” He asked.

“I think you know what happened in the car.”

He had a smug look on his face. “I don’t, actually. Enlighten me.”

“Well, since you want to play dumb,” you grabbed one of his hands off of your side and guided it under your dress. “I’m not wearing any underwear. And I forgot I wasn’t until I slid in the car.” His fingers massaged the skin of your inner thigh.

“That’s hot.” He dipped a finger between your folds and felt the wetness pooling. He swirled his finger around a few times before sliding it inside of you. You moved your hips slowly, meeting his finger. “Look at you, grinding against everything. You’re so desperate for me, huh?” He smirked. You rolled your eyes at him but continued to move your hips. “You couldn’t even help yourself at the bar tonight. Or in the car.”

“I just couldn’t stop thinking about fucking you,” you said. You leaned down to unbutton his pants, grinding your body against his thigh in the process. You let out a moan and he just watched you in awe.

You pulled his pants down, his hard cock springing free. You got back on top of him and hiked your dress up above your hips. You positioned yourself on top of his cock and started to slide back and forth, creating euphoric friction for both of you. Your folds were wet and warm, making him grunt. “Shit, baby,” he said. His head fell back against the couch as he guided your hips. “I need to be inside of you, now.”

You pulled away and quickly sat down on his cock. He kept his hands positioned on your hips as you ground them onto him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and let your head fall onto his shoulder.

You put the weight on your knees and began to bounce up and down on him. He placed his hands on your ass for support. “Oh yeah, that’s it baby,” he said. “Just like that.” A throaty moan escaped your lips right into his ear.

“You feel so good,” you said. The rhythm continued and he spread your cheeks. He was itching to pound into you but he loved the way you looked bouncing on his cock.

He reached for the strap of your dress, pulling it down to expose your breasts. He took one in his hand and massaged it roughly. “Shit, babe. Look at you riding my cock like such a good girl.” He wasn’t one to talk dirty too much, but with alcohol involved he was an open book.

“I’m all yours, baby,” you said, leaning back. You ran your hands through your hair while riding him and made eye contact with him - driving him crazy.

You could feel him start to thrust up into you, an indication that he was getting close. You leaned back down to his ear. “Cum for me, baby,” you said.

He finished with a grunt and a tight grip on your hips. You rolled off of him and laid your head down on a pillow. After all that alcohol, the couch was seeming like a perfect place to crash.

Charles returned with a towel and a glass of water for you. “You did so well, baby. That was hot.” He said, smiling at you and handing you the glass of water.

You giggled and stuck your tongue out. “You’re welcome.”

[scuttle-buttle]

WC: 2261

Rated: M

Tags: angst, medical issues, pregnancy complications, hurt/comfort, anxiety, brief mentions of medical procedures but no gore, nothing is technically sad, fluff, papa laszloooo

A/N: honestly tho I am sorry. also i maybe cried a little writing this, which is a first. also also everybody is fine in this it's just emotional

Blame @hardlyinteresting

🧠

"Three weeks…. Three weeks little bean…" you mumble as you rub your protruding stomach after a particularly harsh kick to your ribs. The chair was a sweet relief to your ankles after a long day at work and doing some light chores around the house all afternoon. You had three weeks until you hit 39 weeks into your pregnancy. As much as you were anxious you were ready. Ready to not feel like a bloated whale. Ready to not have sore feet. But most of all, ready to hold your baby girl.

Laszlo had been trying to convince you to take it easy and start maternity leave early, but you resisted. The last thing you were about to do is nothing. Most first pregnancies went late anyway, you'd argued, so you didn't worry about it yet. I’m pregnant, not dying - give me another week, you'd told him.

What you didn't tell him was about the headaches. Or how sore your legs were. Or how absolutely exhausted you'd been feeling the last couple weeks. Whenever he would ask if you were alright or offer a foot rub you would just brush it off as third trimester woes. You didn't want to worry him.

You were sat in an armchair in the parlor, feet propped up, damp rag over your eyes. The droning from the tv had your nerves on edge. All you wanted to do was take some tylenol and feel better, but you had been knocking back more than was probably safe the last few days so you went without.

A sudden pain shoots through you causing the rag to fall onto your chest. “Ohh...ow? OW!” You sit up straighter as the ache persists; the dull throbbing in your upper abdomen unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Were you in labor early? Did she just kick in a bad spot? No no - surely the pain would’ve died down by now had that been the case. Unless? Can babies kick so hard they rupture something? Did my kid just bust my liver? Your thoughts run rampant as you wait, in vain, for the pain to go away. The pricking behind your eyes and in your temples only made it more hellish. Pressing your palm to the spot does nothing, nor do the breathing exercises you had been taught.

When five minutes have passed by without relief you make the choice to call out for your husband. “Laz?” No response. “Laszlo!” A beat passes; nothing. You swallow through your building nausea.

“I swear to fucking-” you growl as you snatch your phone from the end table to your left. You use all your concentration to dial his number.

It rings four times.

“Bärchen, why are you call-”

You don’t let him finish. “Something’s wrong.”

______

Head thrown back into the flat, starchy hospital pillow you groan in frustration. “permanent bedrest?” You scrub the hand not clutching your belly down your face.

The emergency room Obstetrician gives you a pitying look. “I’m afraid so - your blood pressure is high and we want to keep it under control to prevent outcomes such as pre-eclampsia. I recommend doing as little as absolutely possible; get rid of as many stressors as you can.” He flips through your chart. “You said you’ve been having headaches and fatigue for nearly two weeks? Why didn’t you come in sooner?”

Huffing, you tell him “I thought it was just part of the third trimester. Everyone always complains about how bad it is.” He hums in response.

“Well. I’m going to go take a final look at your labs, make sure everything else is fine before we discharge you. I’ll send in my Nurse Practitioner to give you the run down and anything else you’ll need to know. And should anything else like this happen again - get in here immediately.” He pats you awkwardly on the hand before nodding at Laszlo and leaving the room.

Laszlo.

Sparing a glance from the corner of your eye you see him looking towards his lap, his weaker hand cradled in the other. He’d been quiet since you admitted when your symptoms had first begun. Every single time he’d asked you how you were feeling you had lied to him. Granted, you didn’t technically know you were lying. But it makes little difference when you’re sitting in the ER. He had every reason to be upset.

“Laszlo honey,” you reach over to him. Slowly he takes your proferred hand and stands, coming to stop beside the bulky bed frame. His thumb caresses your wrist.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve examined the signs, kept a better eye on you.”

“Laz-”

“-No-”

“-I didn’t want to worry you, okay?-” Your voice breaks as you defend yourself.

“-I could’ve done something, maybe- I don't know!” His slightly raised voice startles you quiet. The pain in his eyes only makes you feel guiltier. He licks his lips. “I took the liberty of calling your mother. She will be here tomorrow afternoon and will be staying in the guest room as long as we need her.”

Now you look away, indignant. “I don’t need to be watched like I’m a child.” The tears behind your eyelids rush in; a lone drop trailing down your cheek as the embarrassment settles within your gut. You knew that at some point it was likely you would need her here. However you imagined it to be under happier circumstances. A deep inhale fails to calm your sobs. “I just- I don’t want to be a burden with all this.” Your tears flow freely now.

“My dear you could never be.” Laszlo sits on the edge of the bed. He rests his right palm above the swell of your child, his left cupping along the curve of your jaw. He tilts you to face him. “But the health of you and our girl is what is most crucial now. Let us take care of you. Please.”

A gentle kick underneath his palm from your daughter is answer enough.

__________

Two weeks. 14 days.

Lying in bed, sitting in the same spot for hours on end was actually going to be the death of you. You were sure of it.

Your mother truly has been a huge help since arriving. Laszlo wanted to start his paternity leave, but you insisted that he stay until you were closer to your due date. Which couldn’t come fast enough, you might add. Both Laszlo and your mother were prone to pestering you about some things, but at other times if you truly wanted to be alone they gave you your space. Now was one of those times. Laptop to your side, you watch another episode of Grey’s Anatomy. A knock sounds. You turn to see your husband standing in the doorway, the blood pressure monitor in arm.

He gives you a bright smile. “How are you two on this fine afternoon?”

“Cut it with the attitude, bucko. Let’s get this over with.” The words, while harsh, had little bite to them. His brow raises but he says nothing. You honestly felt bad that you’d been in a pretty foul mood since being discharged. On more than one occasion you’d said as much to Laszlo and your mother - they didn’t deserve your ire. Thankfully they understood why you were so frustrated.

You held the strap in place as he secured the velcro and started the machine. Buzzing filled the overall quiet room. Closed eyes you wait. Some days your results were higher than others. Unless you became higher than a certain threshold the doctor said you were safe to be home. At the sound of a beep Laszlo unhooks the cuff, reporting that your levels are within the acceptable range. When he goes to leave you alone you clutch at his sleeve. He waits as you peer up at him. “Stay?”

He never could say no to you.

______

Little bean’s ruthless treatment of your bladder had you up for the second time that night. You waddled to the bathroom to attend to your business and wash your hands. Glancing at the circles under your eyes in the mirror you sigh. “I love you baby bean but you’re giving me a run for my money here, kid,” you whisper as you rub your stomach. Three days, you remind yourself.

The floor creaks as you shuffle back to bed. Suddenly, an odd warm trickling sensation travels down your legs. “What the fuck?” Looking down around your bulging bump you find yourself standing in a small puddle, the glint of the bathroom night light reflecting off the surface. “Shit okay…ah Laszlo? Hey, I need you to wake up.”

He grumbles. With a roll of your eyes you walk over and shake him awake. “Hey- what-” he sits up instantly and blinks at you. “Is everything alright?”

“My water broke.”

He hops into action right away. Moving you to sit on the bed, he pulls out his cell phone to call your doctor. As he talks you watch him move around the room, the phone wedged between his ear and shoulder, as he collects your hospital supplies. You feel useless as you sit. Yet, you know that your priority needs to be keeping yourself calm and that moving around could exacerbate your condition.

He hangs up. Coming to stand in front of you he presses a kiss to your forehead; “I’ll go wake your mother. Don’t move, Liebling.”

As you sit you blow out a long breath. You look down at your bump. “Guess you decided you’re ready to go, huh kid?” The tip of your fingers brush along the side of your stomach. “I know we’re ready for you too. We’re going to love you so much, and your daddy? He’s gonna be the best, you’ll see.” Placing your palms flat she nudges you from within.

_____

The doctors decided that a c-section was the safest route. You both knew it was a possibility, but you had hoped that after weeks of bedrest that your blood pressure would balance out enough for a natural delivery. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. They monitored you for an hour before your contractions began, officially confirming you were in fact in active labor and dilating. After the fourth hour your blood pressure began to spike again. That’s when they decided to prep you for the procedure.

The operation went smoothly. The atmosphere of the surgical suite was tense with your nerves, but Laszlo’s calming words and his hand squeezing yours kept the anxiety from spilling over. You even found it in you to poke fun at how ridiculous he looked in the puffy blue elastic hair cap he wore.

When the first cries rang out you nearly tried to hop off the table to see your baby. The doctors worked quickly to ensure you were in proper condition while the infant was cleaned.

“Dad? Would you like to come and cut the cord?” one of the nurses calls out.

Laszlo looks back at them before turning to face you. He searches your eyes for a moment; “go,” you nod with a smile. You watch as he did what the nurses instructed as best you could, her soft wails echoing in the small room. He returns to you right after while they finish wrapping her up in a blanket.

“She’s beautiful my dear,” your professor confesses. He leans to give you a lingering kiss. “I’m so unbelievably proud of you.”

“I love you so much.”

“As I love you.”

The doctor interrupts your moment. “Would you like to hold your baby girl?” The question is directed at you, but you look over to your husband. The man you love more than life itself. He stares at the little bundle as if she’s the most incredible sight he’s ever laid eyes on. He can’t take his gaze off her. His irises sparkle with unshed tears as he looks on with wonder.

“Laz?” Finally he breaks away. “Hold your little girl - she’s been waiting to meet her Papa.”

Carefully the doctor shifts his hold on the babe to slide her into Laszlo’s waiting arm. He swallows as he pulls her to his chest. Something caught between a sob and a laugh leaves him. You blink through your own tears at the sight of your husband and daughter, a sight so far beyond perfect there could be no words. Laszlo held her with such delicacy, such reverence. It was as if any moment she could slip away as though a dream.

“Hello there my little dove, I’ve been waiting a very long time to meet you.” He doesn’t bother to wipe away the streams that fall from his eyes. “I’m your Papa and I-” he sniffs, looking towards the ceiling and blinking rapidly to clear his eyes. You rest your hand on his bicep. “I love you so very much. I would give you the world if I could. Your grandfather didn’t...he was not....” he pauses to gather himself. “To me you are the greatest gift I could ever receive. I will be the best father I can for you. A father worthy of you. Mein Gott, Ich liebe dich my darling dove.”

He continued to hold her in his arms until it was time to take you into the recovery room. When he had asked if you wanted her you simply shook your head. You would get your chance, you had a lifetime to do so. But your Laszlo needed this. He needed his little dove.

Tag list

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[atlabeth]

neighborly things - sokka x fem!reader

summary: reader can’t make things for shit. thankfully, she has a cute and crafty neighbor willing to help her. 

a/n: im so sorry lmao. i have requests and i have 2 series that havent been updated in like a month but sometimes i just need to write a stupid little oneshot to get back in the writing mood. i did this in an hour 

im not a screwdriver expert so dont come at me if some of this info is wrong lmao 

wc: 1.6k 

warning(s): some cursing but otherwise pure fluff. also i didnt proofread im SORRY im pretty sure they laugh grin and smile like 200 times 

-

“Dammit!” 

 Anyone unfortunate enough to have a place near you during this time would have heard the phrase on more than twenty occasions, and it wasn’t even noon yet. You had gotten the parts in the mail to put together a new dresser a couple days ago, and had finally decided to take on the task. You didn’t know if it was because you were inexperienced with furniture or just lacked basic comprehension skills, but it was proving to be no less than Herculean. 

 You threw the screwdriver at the wall and fell back to the floor as you let your arms sprawl out above you. You had been trying to screw in a part for no less than thirty minutes, and if a miracle didn’t happen right about now, you were going to lose your mind. 

Your head snapped towards the door when she heard a knock, and your brows creased. “God?” You muttered as you got up, wondering if you had actually thought a miracle into existence. 

 You weren’t greeted by a deity when you opened the door, but the man standing in front of you was pretty damn close. With ocean blue eyes, hair pulled back in a ponytail with shaved sides, and toned arms, he was a sight to behold. But you had no idea why he was in front of your door. 

 “Hey, are you okay?” He questioned, genuine concern in his tone. 

 “Um, yeah, why?” You were trying to rack your brain for any memory of this guy — because you knew you would remember him if you had seen him before — but to no avail. “Also, who are you and why are you here?”

 “Right,” he chuckled. “My name’s Sokka. I’m your neighbor; I live—” he gestured at the door just next to your place, “—over there. Moved in a couple weeks ago, so that’s probably why you don’t know me. I’ve just been hearing a lot of cursing and loud noises coming from your place, so I figured I would stop in and see what was going on.” 

 “Oh. That’s.. very considerate of you, Sokka. I’m just…” you sighed and chuckled at the ridiculousness of it all. “I’m just trying to put together a dresser, and it’s not going well at all. That latest sound you heard was the culmination of my rage. I threw a screwdriver at the wall.” 

 “Yeah, that’ll do it,” he laughed. “Listen. I don’t wanna intrude on you or anything, but I happen to be pretty good at putting things together. I had to do a lot of furniture construction when I first moved in, plus I’m the one all my friends call when they need help with putting anything together. I could probably help you with whatever’s troubling you.”  

 “Are you serious?” 

 “Oh, no. I just go door to door joking around with people, asking if they need help with their furniture, sometimes I ask if their refrigerator is running? It really gets a kick out of them.” 

 You rolled your eyes goodnaturedly and stepped aside so he could enter your apartment. “Thank you so much, Sokka. I’ve read the instructions a million times, I seriously don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” 

 He crouched down and picked up the manual, turning to a dog-eared page and skimming over the instructions. He pointed at the screwdriver you had thrown against the wall and glanced back at you. “Is that the one you’ve been using?” 

 You closed and locked the door behind him then walked over to the wall, picking up the unfortunate victim of your anger and spinning it in your hands. “Yeah, why?” 

 “Do you know what kind it is?” 

 “Um.. maybe? God, I don’t know. I think it’s a Phillip’s head?” 

 Sokka laughed and shook his head, holding up the manual so you could see it. “That’s where you’re going wrong. You need a Pozidriv for these screws — they’re similar enough that anyone can make a mistake.”

 You stared at Sokka in complete amazement — apparently, your savior lived next door, and he came in the form of a handsome guy with basic knowledge on putting furniture together. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you said as you walked over and took the booklet from himl. You flipped through it a couple times and read over the part, shaking your head in disbelief. 

 “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” you repeated, louder this time. “Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get that thing to- to work, to screw, to— whatever you call it?” 

 “It’s actually to—”

 “Thirty minutes!” You interrupted, earning a small chuckle from Sokka. “Thirty damn minutes that I have been trying to get that screw in, and it’s all because I was using the wrong screwdriver. Why would they make screwdrivers that are so similar but aren’t interchangeable?!” 

 He shrugged and held up his hands. “Don’t ask me — I don’t make the rules, I just follow them. But like I said; this dresser might fall apart if you keep using this thing. I actually have a Pozidriv back at my place, I can go get it and we can finish this up together.” 

 “God, that would be the biggest help,” you admitted. “But I don’t wanna take up your time — I don’t know how I would even repay you.” 

 “I’m doing this because I want to help you,” he said. “You don’t have to repay me. Think of it as… as a neighborly thing.” 

 “A neighborly thing?” you repeated with a laugh. “Well, if you’re offering, I’m definitely not going to refuse.” 

 “I am offering,” Sokka winked. “And unless you want to be at this for another three days, I think you should take that offer.” 

 You pretended to deliberate over it before letting out an exaggerated sigh. “I guess I’ll let you help me. I mean, really you should be thanking me for this brilliant opportunity to, um.. hone your skills.” 

 He laughed, a brilliant sound that made your heart sing, and nodded as he went back to the door. “Thank you so much for letting me put together this dresser. Truly, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

 “Then I’m happy to be of assistance.” 

 Sokka grinned then unlocked and opened the door. “I’ll be right back, then we can get started.”

 -

 Once he got back, the two of you got to work. The next three hours passed so quickly as you and Sokka talked about everything from the work you did to people in your lives (no girlfriend, thankfully), to exchanging stories — even the silence, though rare, was comfortable. 

 Sokka pushed the last drawer into its place then clapped his hands as he stood up, admiring the fruits of your labor. “And that’s it! We’re done.”

 “Wait, we’re done? Already?” You set down the instruction manual and stood up as well, backing up to Sokka’s position to see what he saw. “Wow, that looks.. that looks just like the picture. We are good at this! Well, you’re really good at this, I’m good at keeping you entertained. But still!” 

 You held your hand up for a high five and he laughed, but not without meeting it with a satisfying clap. 

 “It does look pretty good,” he admitted. “And not only do you have a brand new, fully functioning dresser, you also had the priceless experience of spending three hours with the neighbor you know nothing about.” 

 “That’s not true,” you countered. “I know that you’re really good at putting things together, you’re a genius when it comes to anything math or science, and you hate blueberries.” 

 Sokka snickered and brushed his hands off on his jeans. “That’s everything there is to know.” 

 “I dunno, Sokka. You seem like a pretty interesting guy.”

 “Really?”

 “Yeah. It’s not every day that someone offers to put together a whole dresser just because they feel bad.”

 “Well—” he tore off a blank part of the instruction manual and picked up a spare pen from the counter, then put it up against the wall as he scribbled something on it. Sokka put the pen down and handed the slip of paper to you with a smile. “If you ever need any more help with furniture, then call me.” 

 You could feel your cheeks heat up as you took the paper. Your fingers brushed ever so slightly as you took the slip of paper, and you decided to just go for it. You bit back a grin and tried to sound as innocuous as possible. “And if I want to get to know you beyond the blueberries?” 

 Sokka laughed and leaned against the doorframe. “Definitely call me.”  

 “Great.” 

 The two of you smiled at each other like idiots for way too long before a notification from his phone broke the silence. He jumped from the sudden noise and dug his phone out of his pocket, giving you an apologetic look. “Sorry, my sister just texted me and I gotta get over to her place.” Sokka started towards the door then paused and turned around. “I actually had a lot of fun doing this, though. I’ll see you around, yeah?” 

 “Yeah.” You knew you had that same smile on your face, but it just wouldn’t go away. His energy was contagious. “Definitely.” 

 “Great.” He winked at you one last time then left, closing the door behind him, and finally snapping you out of your spell. 

 You leaned against the dresser and stared at the slip of paper in your hands, committing the number to memory. 

 You were definitely going to take him up on that offer. 

-

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin​

[always-andromeda]

thank you so much for the tag, Olly!! 🥺 your business attire is absolutely everything to me; I just adore it.

Nickname: most folks call me Meda now but my lovely Storm calls me Truffle Baby Bitch and Good Lady Wife Nadja on occasion lol. Most of the lovely nicknames I get come from him.

Sign: Leo! I have no idea what my rising and moon signs are though.

Height: Somewhere around 5'7"??

Recently Googled: the guilty 2021 and the fabelmans tickets oop

Song Stuck In My Head: The 1975 and About You by The 1975 off of their most recent album.

Number of Followers: 754! Which is absolutely insane?? Holy fuck??

Amount of Sleep Last Night: I got about eight hours but in two hour increments each? Fun stuff.

Lucky Number: 5, 8, and 10

Dream Job: being a full time published writer used to be my huge dream, but now the thought of being either an English teacher or an Art teacher appeals to me way more? overall, as long as I can exist in a creative space, I think I'll always try to find a way to be happy with it.

Wearing: mint green sweatpants, my purple Grapejuice shirt (as in the song from Harry's House <3), and my stained glass moon glasses chain.

Books and Movies That Summarize Me: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Clementine is literally me), Dead Poets Society (Todd is literally me), and probably Donnie Darko (Donnie is literally me).

Favorite Songs: not sure if I have one solid favorite, actually? I love Phoebe Bridgers, Paul Williams, Bon Iver, Hippo Campus, Dr. Dog, Duster...god, I love and have such a strong connection with so many artists and songs lol

Aesthetic: very much like...a strange cross between Rory Gilmore and a dad from a 80s sitcom. here, lol, take some pictures of me looking all sweaty and stinky and gross from one of the last times I went out <3

Favorite Author: I don't exactly have a favorite author? but I do have favorite individual books. like Tell the Wolves I'm Home by Carol Brunt is one that will always stick with me as well as Mara Wilson's book. for the last few years I've been super into reading biographies and autobiographies and whatnot.

Favorite Animal Noises: legitimately, my cat Ellie's meows. like...her meows are so soft and sweet and she can be so talkative and I just love going back and forth with her.

Random: I am currently watching season two of The Vow and holy shit I am so surprised that I didn't know half of this shit? god, this show is so heartbreaking. I am also currently making a bad decision! The bad decision: drinking tequila. 😔

I'll tag @quietsounds @starshapedstickerss @beachboysblues @cercandodiscrivere @thegardenarcher and anyone else who wants to do it lol (no pressure whatsoever though!!)

ah thank you for tagging me cassandra 💚 @jervis-tetch-my-beloved i started a new thread because i didn't want to annoy everyone lmao i'm so dumb

Nickname: finnie is my nickname! or i guess fin too! ms. crane if ya nasty

Sign: virgo

Height: i think 5ft 8"

Recently Googled: john candy (we watched p, t, & a 💜)

Song Stuck In My Head: b.o.t.a - eliza rose, i just really like the lil bee bee boop be de bee doo boop bit

Number of Followers: 577 eep i am baby

Amount of Sleep Last Night: i think in total like 7

Lucky Number: 248

Dream Job: i do not dream of labour i wanna write porn in the forest

Wearing: black overshirt, plain grey tee, mustard corduroy lucy and yak dungarees, and my black converse

Books/Movies That Summarize Me: painfully, and i mean this wholeheartedly and genuinely, the first chapter of history of a drowning boy was shockingly revealing, it takes so little for paths to diverge huh?

Favourite Songs: i literally cannot pick favourites of things i find it distressing but at the moment i think it's clean clean by the buggles or pressure by billy joel

Aesthetic: soft grunge in a primary school teacher kinda way, goth in a librarian kind of way, weird in a bisexual kinda way, definitely queer just from looking at me kinda way

Favourite Author: cassandra you typed finnie and it literally made my eyes water at my desk and i sincerely hope you did mean me and if not i'll die but also that's the nicest fuckin thing and i'm dying and march you too what the fuck ANYWAY probably uh shirley jackson, stephen king, adam marek, jeremy dyson, max brooks, richard matheson, peter vronsky ??

Favourite Animal Noises: when dogs do that old man grumble when you scratch them or they stretch, when my dogs specifically go "grrr" really low when they want my attention

Random: @riddlersbimbo sent me the most amazing holiday card and it is on my desk at work and i spend at least 10 minutes a day looking at it and smiling 💚

💚 Tagging (but they might already be tagged further down the chain i am scheduling this for later) 💚

@riddlemeri @riddlersbimbo @shigironki @pinkpanda1846 @s0ftmary @diaboligoat @worri-wort @paprikaspice @ihavenosoul12 @midnight0906 @that3nbytrash @pompous-puffed-up-penguin @letshaveadepressionparty @thebeautifulsoup @sweetums0kitty @luckyspade-8 @a-rose-as-sweet