#i do not want to drive

[thelesbianthespianposts]

imagine: you get your memories back after years of amnesia to find out your whole species is dead and earth doesn’t exist anymore. that the only thing left of your culture is your weird ex and his busted honda civic that barely even works that he stole from the government when he was 13. And he’s been taking members of an alien species for trips in his honda civic and they’re all like “woah it’s so cool” and you get upset because it’s NOT COOL it’s a honda civic, the turn signals don’t even work “wow it can go up hills” yeah OF COURSE IT CAN GO UP HILLS EVERY CAR COULD DO THAT. but they’ve never seen a car before so everything it does is the coolest thing ever. And your ex’s only tool is a fucking screwdriver which is somehow also cool to this dumbass alien species even though it’s a fucking screwdriver so you just look like an idiot screaming about how none of this is even cool it’s actually really shitty but your whole planet is gone so you can’t even prove it but also you’ve had a constant drumming sounding in your head since you were 10 slowly driving you insane. I would become evil too.

[stuckinapril]

I love Tumblr because nothing matters here truly. There are no influencers. Having followers doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a site where people post their sporadic thoughts and rb pretty pictures. Anyone who thinks any of this matters is woefully missing the point

[nobleriver]

The Doctor and River Song + Being A Besotted Old Married Couple

I’m all yours, Sweetie.  Only River Song gets to call me that.

Bonus:

[luckyyharms]

if anyone complains about no agathario I'm going to punch them in the face LOOK AT LILIA LOOK AT HER. SHE'S FINALLY FOUND PEACE WITH HERSELF ANDBHER POWERS. SHE HAS A COVEN. LOOK AT HER

(further rant in tags)

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[bulbabutt]

rise leo does know whats going on with his brothers, dont you worry

previous part | all comics in this crossover (chrono) | tip jar (kofi)

[ricky-mortis]

They're the best of each other!

[uc1wa]

jason todd who’s a little religious and says he wants to wait for marriage to fill you full with his cock and cum. jason todd whose tongue is lapping at your entrance and his fingers are circling your clit, reminding you that the bible doesn’t say anything about the inability to do this.

[daftmooncretin]

imagine being scotty in tos. every day your friend group goes on dangerous yet exciting adventures to new planets but you can never go because they always make you babysit the ship. also you have to stay on facetime with them the whole time in case they need a lift. you are the eternal designated driver. the seventh wheel. you dont mind as much as you should though because you sort of want to fuck the ship

[calamitoustide]

all i'm thinking about is clingy drunk regulus who whines if james so much as shifts his attention to anyone else and if regulus goes out without james he would be calling him every two seconds to tell him he misses him and wants him there

[akuasucc]

i didbt want to get the turkey from the freezer cus im not the only person in the house and my mom got mad and she said that i need to be humble and that if i had an attitude like that i wont eb able to reach my goals

[hemisphaericas]

ocean view

[breadandblankets]

Duke, looking up from his homework: hey are we the tank builds?

Jason: I mean you get hit enough to be one sure

Duke: shut the fuck up, i mean like we can't die, i can heal freaky fast, we wear more armor than like everyone-

Jason: luke tho

Duke: okay luke is also kinda a tank build

Jason: yeah, now what's a tank build

Duke: have you played any videogame ever?

Jason: does sitting in the arcade pretending that you're playing the demo count?

Duke: g-d your life is so sad, what about dnd?

Jason: my death is going about the same way, what is a dnd

Duke: you know, you get a bunch of friends-

Jason: yeah i'm going to stop you there

Duke: jesus christ

[potatodotpng]

[blackkatdraws2]

I have a lot of leftover drawings in my gallery. [Blank Scripts AU]

[Content Warning: Images below contain Gore, Death, and Disturbing/Uncomfortable Imagery]

I find it a bit cute knowing they start out as crazy and then slowly settle into something calmer and relatively healthier after learning to adapt to each other's lust-turned-love. [Stanley did it first but hey :3]

[lbhslefttiddie]

honestly i don't think sqq (jiu) would have minded the accusations of preferential treatment from yqy if they'd felt true. like as children he guarded the title of being yue qi's Favorite with teeth and claws. why shouldn't he be given preferential treatment? everyone ought to know just who qi-ge likes and trusts over everyone else. and for good fucking reason--who else here is watching out for qi-ge? as peak lords he's literally 2nd in command and chief tactician, if yqy values his word over yours, then its both what makes most sense and also what he deserves.

the thing is that to sqq, being accused of being favoured by yqy over others now just feels like a sick joke, because obviously (to him) that's not the fucking case. if he actually gave him preferential treatment you'd think he'd listen to what he has to fucking say, instead of believing what anyone else tells him about sqq. you'd think, if he was yqy's favorite, he wouldn't have left him to rot.

so i think, in a setting where they reconcile after becoming peak lords, that sqq would very much slap yqy's love for him in everyones faces as a kind of power move. a kind of, "oh, you thought that was favouritism? you havent seen yet what it looks like when qi-ge lets himself favour someone."