#honestly i dont consider this finished
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#danny phantom#fanart#digital art#honestly i dont consider this finished#but i ran out of steam and wanted to do something different#this was mainly playing with brushes#i wanted to do a painting style but my urge for solid lines keeps driving me nuts#prob try again some day#tw blood#i guess?#unfinished
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experimental jouno piece (not used to this style so i didnt know how to do the hair lmao)
#art#digital art#artblr#lotus drawdles#artists on tumblr#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs fanart#bungou gay dogs#bungou sd#jouno saigiku#bsd jouno#jono saigiku#bsd fanart#hunting dogs#hunting dogs bsd#originally a throwaway piece but i was like might as well finish it amirite#i honestly cannot believe that jouno was my first bsd drawing that got posted onto here lmao#i have a bunch of small bsd doodles but this is like literally the only finished piece#i have a watercolor yosano but its old and i dont like it no more#also i was gonna draw his hat but i couldnt get it to look right lmao#i got rid of the lineart cause it didnt look right#this took a lot of tries lmao#still not the most satisfied with it but its okay at least#i was gonna draw a kamo counterpart piece to this but i dont think i can replicate the style#should i post all my shitty bsd doodles lmao#maybe. i will consider it.#i really need to draw a good ranpo because hes my fave
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Baton update: the Finale
Guys I have done it. I strapped on my wax wings and unlike Icarus did not crash and burn. The baton. Is finished. And so is the base. Finished them both today. I might not have ever been much of a crafts guy but I am INCREDIBLY pleased with the final results. This started out as a pipe dream and now it's reality. Don't let your dreams be dreams etc etc
Showing her off first 💞💞💞 I'll add the rest of the images below a cut so this post isn't a mile long but AHHHHHH IT'S FINALLY DONE!!!! Guys I've been working on this since May but I was determined to finish it before the year let out
Here's the baton itself. What a beautiful pain in my ass. It's a regular 12" conductors baton so trying to turn it into Zelda's definitely not 12" Glorious Baton was. Awkward. I winged this entire thing. The grip/spiral is a rubber band. (Two, actually.) It's held together by sheer determination and super glue. I colored those pink roses with marker. The tail parts are made out of cardboard (half from a non corrugated bit off a package flap and half from a graham cracker box.). I couldn't find a wired ribbon to use for the end so I just cut a length of wire and fucking sewed it to the ribbon. Improvise, adapt, overcome.
The display base was simultaneously more and less of a hassle than the baton. Much less fine, close quarter work, much more difficulty getting things to stay put (this is a callout post for the garland, I'm looking directly at you.) Initially I made the actual display holder, which is 100% just painted wooden skewers, then I took MORE package cardboard and used that as the base. If I was a little more insane I'd add tiny lights somehow so the triforce could light up. The garland was. An absolute pain just 100% from having to decide which leaf extensions to remove to positioning them to trying to attach the damn thing (challenge: nearly impossible.) BUT it is surprisingly sturdy for what amounts to a piece of cardboard and some tiny sticks. I just now added that central support piece and the extra flowers today, because unfortunately the baton is top heavy and without it it just... Well. Spun itself upside down. The foam flowers themselves added a shocking amount of weight to it, but it's the baby's breath that really weighs it down. Not that it's heavy--it's very nice to hold in the hand, but again, it likes to spin itself around if only supported at the ends.
It kinda doesn't feel real. I still honestly feel like I should wake up tomorrow and go "I'm gonna work on my baton today!" I think my brain is in denial lmao. Been working on this thing for seven months, man. This year has DEFINITELY been my introduction to crafting year, and I had a blast. After all that time, and it's finally complete. Thank you to the Legend of Zelda for always being a massive inspiration to me throughout my life. Wow. Reality really can be whatever I want. I made myself a prop/display piece out of random materials and a dream
#loz#hw#hyrule warriors#zelda#<- this shit is going in the main tags i didnt spend seven months on this thing for no one to see it#the jackdaw treasury#(muffled screaming)#its fucking DONE!!!!! FINALLY!!!!#i am NOT going to be crazy and immediately turn around and make the sacred baton!!!! i need to be normal!!!!#honestly the only reason im not seriously considering that course of action is bc i already know#trying to get those pieces inside the baton is going to be a massive pain#ive seen online someone made it out of clay but im. not a clay guy. hate clay. hate touching it#maybe one day when i have more hubris#as it is i still need to finish my sewing project#and i hope sometime soon i can get back to drawing and chatacter designing#man. seven fucking months dude#(contented sigh)#also if you recognize my tattoo from real life no you dont im hitting you with the memory erasing ray
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folks, dont do this. like, one, my a/n on coping skills thru the last like five updates make it abundantly clear that i am going to Major Medical Bullshit and if there is ever a good reason to put a creative project on hold, its to recover from almost dying several times in a short span
but also, there is never any reason ever at all full stop, to include a line in ur fic comment to this effect. if you assume something isnt going to be updated ever again, you keep that to urself before slapping it at the author is a damned good way to ensure it doesn't get touched again. its passive aggressive and shamey, and while i dont think it was the intent of the commenter to read that way, it still fuckin sucks. the rest of the comment was lovely appreciation for my smut and characterization. it could have easily started with "i gotta say" as the lead in instead of the above and it would have made me excited and joyous to touch this project again now that im starting to feel like a whole human again, after, you know, almost dying a lot
and instead im just frustrated and mad
so dont do this
#mochi rambles#mochi fic#im pretty open about especially my health adventures all things considered#so it is not hard to peek around and see that I'm still neck deep in Fucked Up About Almost Dying#but actively working towards unsouping my brain enough to write#because i will finish this damned story#id say if it kills me but uuuuh no thank u ive had my fill of that lmao#but tldr if ur reading an incomplete work that hasnt been touched in ages#shutting down the idea of it being worked on is a self fulfilling prophecy#you do that and *you* are the reason it doesnt get worked on#but if you focus on supporting the author you will genuinely make a difference that could result in them returning to the work#which#even if they dont that's their business and its rude to to make it a problem#just accept what is available and thank the author for it if u comment and move on#salty salty#tho honestly#in the what tennn?? months since the last update?#ive gotten a TON of comments and asks about this fic and this is the first one i can recall that was a shit about it being on hiatus#ive gotten a couple of folks directly ask if it was on hiatus which is fair and reasonable and i replied to give an update on my soup brain#but >:C dont assume u butt coping skills is my baby i love it so much AND U CAN TELL froeny frowny
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Actually, on the topic of the baby fever. God it's so frustrating. Bc when I was like 14 ish I was Adamant that I never ever wanted kids. And my dad said smth around the lines of "that'll likely change" (probably from his own experience with this) and I was like NO. it WONT.
And then eventually, age 21-22 ish, I admitted that Okay, I still don't want to have my own kids, but someday maybe I'll adopt...
And Now, 27 years old, I got the general baby fever on occasion. It Did fucking change. And I don't know if I actually WILL bother with having my own kid (I still don't want to go through the hassle and massive body changes). But god. I do see a fucking baby and feel that stab of longing. It's almost like my damned hormones betrayed me or smth. Maddening!
I shall simply write fanfic about it.
#speculation nation#pregnancy ment/#honestly though i hadnt felt the wish to have my own until after my dad died#and i realized just how small our family is getting. and just felt this stab of NEED. to continue the line. continue the family.#my family's fucking dying around me i need to add to it. need more family. yknow?#so i dont actually know if this is. because of hormones or because of grief or What#but it was enough for me to put the hysterectomy idea on hold. bc id been genuinely considering it back in like. april? or so.#but then this happened and now im like. fuck dude. i dont know. but the uncertainty's enough to keep me from doing it.#yeah i dont wanna deal with periods anymore. but also. i need more time to decide.#i think no matter what i do want to raise kids someday. once im more stable (financially and emotionally)#but whether thats adoption or putting myself thru fuckin body torture. well i'll just have to decide. later.#maybe the deciding factor will be my own body aging lol. if i wait too long. my body will decide for me. who knows!#i Have thought about what id do if i got accidentally pregnant. especially relevant back when i was sleeping with a trans woman#and used to be id abort no hesitation. but well. i mean abortions illegal here anyways rn so id have to go to another state#but if i decided it i could make it work. it's not That far of a trip.#but. when i thought about it. the concern was less about the theoretical baby. and more about finishing school.#thinking 'man itd be fucking awful to finish school if i got pregnant right now'. but not. hesitating over the baby.#if i was out of school and relatively stable and i got accidentally pregnant. then. well. Maybe.#so me doing my dad vash au where he gets accidentally pregnant and goes all in with it#thats me. sorting out my feelings on it i guess. putting them somewhere.#idk. it's a lot to think about. i dont want to condemn a child to my genetic problems. but at the same time...#i dont know. To Be Decided Later.
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;-- i sometimes feel a little silly when i end up writing more than i had intended like damn this bitch just keeps yapping
#;ooc#:^)#sksksksksks#i honestly just wing everything and things just happen#i dont mean to write you a novella at times my b#anyways for mutuals only feel free to ask for my discord to talk shop on plotting and other stuff !!#considering ima be lurking and playing zzz and napping and finishing up gravity falls so ye#im more responsive over there#:3c
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#i havent finished watching gomens2 but honestly#im having a lot of fun its really just az and crowley + the up&down people doing stupid shit it’s great actually#there’s Way more of the angels and demons than last time so literally no one is talking like a people 24/7#it’s humor that caters specifically to ME . i love squinting at stupid dialogue#idc if the overarching plot itself ends up mediocre it’s still a fun watch all things considered#+ im pretty sure the point of this 2nd series is just to explore more abt aziraphael and crowley’s relationship so i dont mind#we’re just here to have fun ig#solar-talks
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Super fucking funny that lately my mom has been remembering lil behavioral things from when I was little and then immediately being like *spaces out* "Oh wow another one of the possible autism diagnosis" IAJEJRKTKTKTKFKKD
#like she was like JUST now realizing that i take instruction either EXTREMELY literally#or if I find something extremely flawed in certain instruction or processes i wont do them#and do things my own way without considering people being upset#i dont do it from a place of disrespect or cockiness#but of rational or efficiency lol#and she was like yeah your dad used to be really frustated about that when i had to leave you and your sister with him#because hed try to deviate from our schedules as kids and i would not have it because mommy gave specific instructions#or like he'd try to do things my mom would do and id apparently be standing there coldly observing him#like a fucking drill sergeant telling him everything different and wrong he was doing aidnitnfkfkgkdkkds#and she was like 'and honestly you STILL do it and it pisses him off' lmao#she brought up my eating system too and how she barely realized ive been doing it since i could hold a spoon#clockwise eating from least favorite to favorite for last drinking nothing until im finished
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im sooo stressed with zero reason....im so stressed about SEWING CLASS a thing i actively enjoy. agoraphobia is insane
#op#its also my last one....and i finished a project last time so i need 2 start a new one but dont know what yet#i already have a top im sewing and procrastinating on so that would be perfect#but im not working from a pattern with that one im balling so hard so honestly embarrassing to bring it#but my other options are two very fancy things just because of the fabric i have........#i could make another top out of my blue velvet but im still considering making a nightgown out of that#and i bought the white cotton fabric explicitly for a poet shirt but havent been able 2 find a good pattern for that#i can also buy fabric at the place but thats Money#however. did find that 20 euros in the train and if im making a slutty summer top its only like 1.5 meters of fabric#hm. thats probably my best plan#evening gown. not night gown
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Watching videos essays abt political stuff is fun except for the fact that it's abt real life and it's not fun
#rat rambles#^ just finished a video essay abt trans stuff and is having a Moment™#Im ok just kinda emotional#and filled with rage abt everything ever but yknow when am I not#I rlyyy need to see if theres any lgbtq originisatons in my area#if theres one close enough maybe I could start vollenteering? idk#Im just anxious abt not being considered queer enough yknow the usual sorts dhndhdjhdjd#but honestly its more so abt my lesbianism since I have a very complicated relationship with ulit#like it makes me feel like if I bring up my acearo identity it makes my lesbianism less ~real~ somehow#like idk I wanna meet other queer ppl irl and I want more queer friends and I wanna be able to experiment with stuff#but idk why Im so scared abt the idea of having to explain myself#I know ppl probably wont care but ig Im just scared that if other queer ppl reject me then Ill have nowhere to go#or maybe itd go great and I could get a girlfriend like fuck man thats the problem xhdkgsksh#it could be the best thing thats ever happened to me but Im so anxious abt trying#Ive been so lonely and fuck man I dont trust myself to not let myself get trampled#sorry this got real personal real fast dhdkgdkdh again Im ok just emotional#now that I brought up the girlfriend thing tho I am going to be having gay thoughts while I shower so oops dhkdhkdh#idk Im still so unsure abt how I feel abt dating no romantic attraction asside like#again Ive never been able to experiment? and I also just dont know if theres anyone Id be willing to date in practice#like it might just be lonliness but it also could be me forming a stronger sense of self and better existing outside of relationships#and as such feeling more comfortable abt the idea of having more deep relationships with ppl even outside of dating and such#but again its all theoretical rn 😔#anyways I need to shower bro its so late#rat vents
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For those of you that can't drink smoothies or thicker liquids, here are some more ideas.
If you can't get fresh, frozen veggies are another alternative to canned. I'm not sure if this is available globally, but I get frozen spinach that comes in chunks [probably sold for smoothies], and even when I'm eating instant noodles or something, I just throw a handful in. I cook my rice with it.
If you hate salad/uncooked veggies, stir-fry it. You can literally stir-fry almost anything. Have some sort of fat in your pan with some garlic and onions if you can (not necessary though), and toss your veggies in until they've reached the level of doneness you like. If you want the flavour but can't prepare the garlic and onions, jars/powders are a great alternative. Then: pepper, salt, soy sauce. Here are some great veggies to toss into a stir-fry:
- Kale
- Brocolli, Broccolini
- Cabbage, Chinese Cabbage
- Bok Choy, Choi Sum, Kai Lan
- Snap Peas, Green Beans
- Water Spinach, Spinach (I personally don't like Spinach stir-fried....... that much.................. too mushy........ but I like it on toast in a breakfast platter. But if you like pasta, I find that spinach is great in that)
- Watercress
- Carrots, radish, zucchini, etc
- Last but not least, mushrooms! Which might not be vegetables.......... but still good for you.
These can all be cooked together if you want! You can add meat in as well!! If you've noticed, a lot of these are "asian vegetables" and they can be found in most Asian supermarkets. Honorary mention: seaweed. They can go in soup, just eaten as a snack, or with rice. There are also pickled vegetables (though, pickles probably shouldn't be your main source of veg because of the sheer sodium level), but things like kimchi and đồ chua can be great snacks/additions to your meals.
Pair your stir-fry with some rice, noodles, or congee/soup. Or just eat it on its own.
My low effort meal usually looks like this: sheet of seaweed with a layer of rice, kewpie mayo, some sort of protein (canned tuna for me), kimchi. Pinch one end close, and just eat the whole roll while I stand hunched over the rice cooker.
And finally, for those who still really struggle with it, consider getting powdered vegetables/veggie supplements. They sell powdered veggies that you can sprinkle onto your food, and vegetable pills that you can take!
i mean this in the gentlest way possible: you need to eat vegetables. you need to become comfortable with doing so. i do not care if you are a picky eater because of autism (hi, i used to be this person!), you need to find at least some vegetables you can eat. find a different way to prepare them. chances are you would like a vegetable you hate if you prepared it in a stew or roasted it with seasoning or included it as an ingredient in a recipe. just. please start eating better. potatoes and corn are not sufficient vegetables for a healthy diet.
#i don't consider myself a picky eater but my autism makes my relationship with food/cooking complicated#i can't do smoothies though. i can't drink thick liquids.#these are just super quick ways to get my nutrients in#also#boiled/steamed veggies are chronically shit on but with a good sauce it's honestly a delight and very easy to cook as well#like . one of my favourite meals include boiling some rice noodles#tossing in some brocolli and mushrooms (or whatever veggie you find tolerable) in the last few minutes so they all finish boiling at#the same time. and making a peanut/sesame soysauce sugar chilly oil sauce. yeah its a modified tiktok peanut butter noodle sauce#also its not that weird to have peanut butter with noodles or springrolls ok like. satay sauce is peanut based.#but like yeah. toss your boiled veggies in your favourite salad dressings and it would fuck too#but dont boil lettuce . thta sucks. i like brocolli and all of its siblings. mushrooms. cabbage and all of its siblings. yea
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re-reading a dai time travel fic and by god it really makes me want to write my own bc the Implications of a time-travel in dai is so full of crunchy, crunchy angst. but every time i try to write an inquisitor who is not my beloved kai lavellan my brain blanks out.
#i dont want to use kai bc i want to write it as a bull/inquisitor fic and even tho kai loves bull they definitely wouldnt romance#i did tentatively start a new game a few months back with a different lavellan inquisitor who i liked#he's much more. idk. soft-hearted than kai? more open to vulnerability than kai. less defensive about his own kindness#me eyeing the half-finished chapter of ktts: god am i really thinking about a new dragon age fic. in 2024.#time travel fics are my one true weakness i love them soooooo much lmao#and considering time travel is a LITERAL GAME MECHANIC there's like. not that many in dai fandom????#and honestly a truly horrendous lack of good long bull/inquisitor fics. whats up with that.#after dorian/lavellan i actually really love the bull/inquisitor dynamic. he was my second romance.#and there are for sure some really good ones but NOT ENOUGH.#as always if i cant find what i am specifically craving i will fucking write it myself i guess!!!!#liveblogging life#does anyone care about this? probably not. but i've had this stupid fic doc open for days now and im losing my mind.
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also i gotta ramble it out now so i dont forget but i like how the neo genes (maria, aoi, asagi) had more larval looking cloneblade forms compared to the other neo genes before them. like even having a more powerful weapon they were still just children that shouldnt have had access to it. they werent ready and they never should have been given their blades so young.
#cliffnotes/.txt#dont get me wrong i think the end was a bit rockier compared to the beginning of wb#it honestly kinda lost me a bit but i wanted ti finish since there wasnt much left#but they were kids trying to play grown and it was never gonna work out for them#like idk how old exactly maria and aoi were but theyre less than 6 considering maria referred to rihoko as her older sister#and asagi was likely only abt a month to a few weeks old
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i enjoyed night country and most of my criticisms with the show can be summed up more development for its female (especially supporting) characters
#STEPDAUGHTER DYKE I NEED LIKE . A WHOLE NOTHER PLOT W U#esp considering the finale like. idk. i didnt mind the ending i guess but GOD some more stuff about the women#the show was at its best. by far. when it was foster and reis going at each other#fosters character esp. like. i just...i wasnt compelled by her otherwise#i love u miss foster i think u did the best u could#idk idk it felt like they never reallllly finished the protesting arc and just kinda slammed it in#when like. i would have maybe refocused that to be the crux of the show#also i dont think that reis' sister should have died im sorry it just felt cruel#like i guessss it provided an interesting beat for reis but . like i struggle to see how it says anything that isnt kinda...bad.#or beyond like yeah the system fails ppl ! like bummer!#idk idk i never fully clicked with this show and i think it sagged a LOT in the middle#also qavvik . i love him hes such a sweetie but you could cut him out and have almost no impact on the plot#okay i think reis should have been fuckin foster BUT if u really wanna keep him#like idk he felt SO sidelined to me like he was truly there for the one shack scene to get some emotional exposition#im done im done#justice for him justice for the sister justice for the stepdaughter !!!!!#i like the tongue being ambigious btw like. a bit of mystery....as a treat#me 'i liked this show' as i list my many issues with its pacing and dialogue and plot and characters#honestly i think im riding this show's ass so hard bc i realllyyyyyy think it could have been like. life changing
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scream
#i speak#im tired. and my new piercing hurts#and i have an assignment i have to finish before bed#and my trackpad just stopped working.#i dont know where my mouse is so i borrowed my brothers for now#i dont have time to troubleshoot i have to get up so early#im going to die i think this is. not good.#honestly considering turning in what i have and just fucking taking whatever grade i get
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I think I'd be an avatar of the Eye (I LOVE learning new stuff) or the Spiral (im just funky like that)
I think I'd probably give a statement on the Corruption (I'm currently writing a fan statement on it B] )
ok wait im curious-
which tma entity do you think youd be an avatar of and which do you think youd give a statement on
#cheerios reblogs >:)#prev >#i am cringe but i am free#tma#just me rambling again#this is like. the hogwarts house or chb cabin for this fandom#and like! its gotta be legit it cant just be which one you think youd most want to encounter or be affiliated with#like it has to be genuinely considering your interests and things youre drawn to /#like it has to be genuinely considering your interests and things youre drawn to and have been drawn to / fears that would unsettle you#to like a very specific high degree and hobbies or things you do thatd cause you to have to face it#once again this is probably cringe as hell but idc#i feel kinda like how i did in relation to fandom stuff in middle school rn but its making my brain happy so. i dont give a shit#like one of my friends at first thought would probably be somehow related to the spiral but on more thought n after talking we decided#he would definitely be an avatar of the eye and have an encounter with the stranger! or another friend would be an avatar of the stranger#but would honestly probably give a statement or at least be most afraid of the web! i just think its neat i mean none of the friends ive#rambled to abt this silly little podcast actually have listened to it but its still so very fun to let brain go brbrbrbbrr and explain#things and talk abt plot stuff w them i think (usually pretty boy more than anything that poor dude has to deal w so many rambles)#i think for me we came to the conclusion of avatar of the spiral (fractals and spiraling stuff make brain brbrbrbrbr + hyperfixated#on optical illusions for a good portion of my childhood + deep longing to confuse people + just how i am abt the concept of madness)#(also just a deep love for distorted imagery and audio god anything with audio distorions makes my brain so very brbrbrbrbrbr)#(i feel like this explains my Unnormal Unnormalcore feelings abt mr michael distortion himself)#and one of my friends said they think id give a statement on the corruption which i think honestly makes a lot of sense?#im very outdoorsy and love dirt and being in nature and im usually chill w bugs n shit but the thing they suggested was like.#i seem like i would pry open a rotting log just to see whats there and there would be worms or smth (which shouldnt bother me) but#like theres way too many of them or something about them just sets off the creepy crawly what the hell freak out part of my brain#and i was like shit dude that makes sense bc i feel like a lot of the time peoples statements they start off with like oh yeah btw this#thing has never scared me im chill with this thing or this is common w a hobby i like BUT THIS ONE TIME. IT WAS BAD.#anyways im hyperfixated and know more than i should about the workings and concepts despite having just finished episode 52#like i know the gist of the fears n shit and can put together stuff n see patterns but i genuinely dont know shit abt the actual plot#so like
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