#i do not want to do any work whatsoever these days ://// its so hard to get myself to even read anything hhdhfjfj

[phagodyke]

tried going to bed early bc ive just been sitting staring at the wall or my phone all afternoon but it's been 3 hours now and I can't stop crying. :(

[sassyandclassy94]

Funny how a bad day makes you a whole lot less excited and more hesitant to return to work the next day…

[candycandy00]

The Doll House - A Sukuna x Reader Fanfic Part 1

Covered in scars and left totally numb by your abusive previous owner, you’re considered an “unsellable doll”. That is, until the Doll House takes you in and Sukuna becomes your trainer.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Read Geto’s Part Here!

Read Toji’s Part Here!

Read Nanami’s Part Here!

Read Gojo’s Part Here!

Read Choso’s Part Here!

Note: Please remember that these stories don’t take place at the same time, or even one after the other! Consider each one its own timeline. So if you see Geto and Toji with other dolls, don’t be alarmed lol. I had to do it this way because if I don’t, by the time I get to the last trainer, there won’t be any other trainers left to interact with!

On the outskirts of town, there stands a particular shop called the “Doll House”. Inside its walls you can find a “doll” to match any taste you might have. All your desires will be fulfilled, no matter how depraved. Satisfaction is guaranteed! The dolls are exceptionally high quality, thanks to the skillful trainers who work with them twenty-four hours a day, molding them into perfect toys for your enjoyment.

Each trainer has a specialty that they focus on, and they all take great pride in their work. Their methods differ greatly, their approaches vary, but they all follow one rule: never get attached to a doll. After the training is complete, they hand the dolls over to their new owners, and never see them again. However, just once over the course of their careers, trainers are allowed to pick a doll they’ve personally trained and keep her as their own.

AU! Each trainer will get their own story! This is Sukuna’s. If you’d like to be tagged in future parts, let me know! You must be an adult to be tagged! Any feedback whatsoever is adored! I’m not keeping the same tag list as before, since this part deals with darker themes. I will resume the tag list after Sukuna’s part is finished! So if you want to be tagged in this one, please specify!

Note: Consider these parts AU’s within an AU. So you might see Geto with a different doll from the reader in his part, but just consider this an alternate timeline lol.

Smut. 18+. Fem Reader. BDSM. Erotic Torture. Needles. Reader is covered in scars. Everything that happens between Sukuna and Reader is consensual but there is mention of abuse by a previous owner. Divider by @benkeibear!

“That’s all you’ll give me for her?”

“I think this is a generous offer, all things considered.”

You’re sitting in a plush leather chair in the office of the owner of the Doll House while your father argues with her about pricing. It’s been going on for thirty minutes now, your father growing more agitated while the owner remains calm and firm. 

“Sir,” the owner begins, leaning forward slightly over her desk, “there are two major issues with your daughter. For one, she has a previous owner. Most of our clients consider that a deal breaker.”

“She was just with that guy a little over a year!” your father retorts, his face slightly red. 

“I’m aware of that. But that leads us to the other issue.”  The owner pauses and glances at you. “Your daughter’s scars are quite prominent. They’re very hard to ignore.”

There’s a hint of an apology in her eyes. It’s unnecessary. You know better than anyone that you’re disfigured. Scars of various types and sizes cover over half your body, including a sizable portion of your face. 

Your father is sweating. “I‘ve heard some clients have weird  tastes, that they actually want… people like her.”

The owner leans back in her chair. “It is true that we sometimes get unusual requests. But it doesn’t happen often. She would have to be given highly specialized training, to emphasize that unique aspect.”

Your father’s face lights up. “Then do that!”

The owner looks from him to you, then says, “I need to speak to her privately before finalizing the purchase.”

“What? Why?” your father asks. 

“It’s a routine part of the interview, I assure you,” the owner replies smoothly. 

Your father hesitates, but then stands up from his seat. He gives you a stern look, a warning look, and then he’s out the door. 

The owner’s face seems to soften slightly. “How do you feel about this?” 

You shrug. “I don’t feel anything. I haven’t in a long time.”

The owner looks at a laptop sitting open on her desk. “Let’s go over a few things in your file first. It says here you were sold on the direct market on your eighteenth birthday. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“You were with your previous owner for sixteen months before being removed, during which time he breached the contract by doing permanent harm. Hence the scars.”

“Yes,” you answer again. 

“And I see that your father sued your previous owner, collecting quite the hefty sum for your suffering.”

You nod. 

The owner closes the laptop and looks at you again. “And I’m guessing your father already blew through that money, despite only two years passing. So he’s selling you again. How many other doll shops has he taken you to so far?”

“Three.”

“Any offers?”

“None,” you say, eyes lowering toward the floor. 

The owner sighs. “If I don’t take you, he’s going to sell you on the direct market again, isn’t he?”

“He already tried,” you tell her, “but he said the offers were too low. If no shop will take me, he’ll probably go back and take a low offer.”

The owner grimaces. “He’s a real sick fuck, your father.”

“I know.”

“Do you want me to take you on?”

You think for a moment, then say, “It doesn’t matter. I can’t feel anything anyway.”

“When you say that,” the owner says, “do you mean physically or emotionally?”

“Both. I’ve been numb for nearly three years now.”

The owner picks up a silk fan from her desk and lightly taps her chin with it as she regards you. After a few moments, she says, “Alright. I’ll take you. I’ll make a slightly higher offer to your father, one he would be foolish to refuse. And in light of your unique circumstances, I’m going to add two extra clauses to your contract. The first is that you will have the option to change trainers if the one I assign to you is too much for you.”

You nod. “And the second?”

“All dolls sold through the Doll House are allowed to come back within one week of being purchased by a client, if they provide sufficient reasoning. In your case, I’m extending that to two weeks, and you don’t have to provide a reason. I’ll take you back, no questions asked, if you feel like your owner isn’t right for you. However, I would advise you not to abuse this privilege.”

“I understand.”

“Alright then. Let’s get your father back in here and finalize the sale.”

******************

Sukuna grins when he sees the message on his phone: “I have a new doll for you to train.”

He’s at home, in his swanky, upscale apartment in the city. Though he enjoys his alone time, he very much enjoys his work at the Doll House as well. Unlike the other trainers, Sukuna doesn’t keep a near constant flow of new dolls. He understands why of course. His training produces a very specific sort of doll that only a specific sort of client wants. But he trains enough dolls to keep himself well paid, and the work is incredibly satisfying. 

The standard training time is six weeks, which is exactly the right amount of time for Sukuna to thoroughly enjoy each doll without getting too bored with them before they’re handed over to their owners. He can’t imagine why anyone would want to keep the same doll for ten whole years. He knows he’s not alone in this thought, which is why doll rental services have been growing in popularity lately. 

He packs a few things into a small duffel bag. He keeps plenty of clothes and personal items in his room at the Doll House, so he only has to pack lightly for the six week stay. He’s in a good mood as he turns off the lights and locks the door. 

When  he arrives at the Doll House, he finds a rather interesting young woman sitting in the welcome room. Interesting because half her pretty face is covered in scars, as well as what’s visible of her left arm. Just how far do they extend? He’s looking forward to finding out. 

She glances up at him, but gives no reaction. Strange. Most new dolls look terrified, or at least nervous, when they see him for the first time. It’s probably the tattoos that frighten them. Sukuna is well aware that they make him look like a Yakuza member, or some criminal from a past era. But he so enjoys the way people instinctively shrink back away from them. 

The owner meets him in the welcome room and ushers him into her office. All trainers are briefed on their new dolls, except in unusual circumstances. But the owner looks troubled today, meaning this doll has a story. But he supposes the scars made that obvious already. 

Sitting in a chair across the desk from the owner, Sukuna places one elbow on the cushioned arm and props his face up with his hand. “So? What’s the deal with little Miss gloomy out there?”

The owner is tapping keys on her laptop, then he hears his phone chime from his pocket. “I’ve sent you her file. You really need to read over it. She has a complicated history.”

“Give me the short version,” he says, making a mental note to at least skim the file later. 

“Previous owner who abused and tortured her, shitty father who’s sold her twice now, and… she can’t feel anything.”

That last part captures Sukuna’s attention. “What does that mean?”

“She’s completely numb, both physically and emotionally. I’ve read over her medical reports, and they’ve concluded that there’s no significant nerve damage. The scar tissue dulls her senses in those areas somewhat, but they don’t leave her totally numb like this. And she can’t feel anything in the unscarred areas either.”

“Meaning it’s psychological,” Sukuna says. 

The owner nods. “It’s clearly a defense mechanism. Her body and mind simply shut off all sensation in order to cope. And that’s going to be her biggest issue as a doll. There are plenty of buyers who would find the scars exotic, but a doll who doesn’t react to anything? No one wants that. And if we don’t eventually find a buyer for her, she’s going to get passed around from one scumbag to another on the direct market for the rest of her life.”

Sukuna had little interest in the doll’s sob story, but he was intrigued by the fact that she couldn’t feel anything. “So you want me to fix her? Make her feel again?”

“Yes. I figured if anyone could, it would be you. But be careful. She’s already been shattered. I don’t need you grinding up the pieces.”

Sukuna stands up and heads for the door. “Don’t worry. I’ll reforge her,” he says with a smile, “in a way that pleases me.”

***************

The man covered in strange black tattoos introduces himself as your trainer. He’s handsome, well-built, and dressed like a man far too rich to be working here. A few years ago, you might have been attracted to him. Your heart might have fluttered at the thought of him touching you. But now? Now you feel nothing as he tells you to follow him to his room. 

He opens the door and walks in first, turning on the lights as he goes. You follow behind him and look around. The room looks like someone converted a fancy hotel room into a dungeon. 

The deep red carpets and expensive looking furniture contrast with the various… devices around the room. There’s an X shaped table, harnesses and chains hanging from the ceiling, and a wall of leashes, whips, rods, and other such items along the left side of the room. 

Ah, so he’s this type. 

You’re not surprised. Actually, it makes sense. Give the girl who can’t feel pain to the trainer who tortures his dolls. 

The man, who said his name is Sukuna, is watching your face, looking for a reaction. He won’t find one. But instead of seeming disappointed, he’s grinning. 

“My specialty is probably obvious,” he says, to which you nod. Then he goes over to the wall of tools and toys, taking something small and shiny from it. When he returns, there’s a silver, claw-like item on his right index finger. Without a word of warning, he approaches you and quickly swipes the claw over your exposed right forearm. 

You look down, curious, to see a thin red line appear on your skin, small drops of blood beading along it before sliding down. You watch the blood with no expression for a moment before looking back up at Sukuna. 

His grin is wider than before. “You really didn’t feel that,” he says, not a question but a statement. He’s standing in front of you, staring at you, when he says, “Let me ask you something, and think hard about your answer. It’s going to determine how the training proceeds.”

You nod. 

“Do you prefer being this way to how you were before?”

You blink as the question settles into your mind. You’ve never really thought about it before, but do you prefer being numb? It’s helped you block out the hurt you felt upon being sold off by your father, being abused by your owner, but it also blocks out any joy. 

“I… I don’t know.”

He’s looming over you, looking down with an expression you can’t quite place. Is it desire? Pity? Disgust? Or have you lost the ability to distinguish them? 

“Do you want to feel again?” he asks, something about his deep tone telling you to answer honestly. The sheer intensity of his presence is overwhelming you. 

You can still remember when you felt things. You can remember a poor but happy childhood when your mother was still alive. Even after, when things got worse, there were still moments of happiness. Watching movies with a friend, eating cheap snacks from the convenience store down the street. A kiss from the boy you had a crush on in high school. You miss these feelings. And once you realize that, your answer is clear. 

“Yes, I want to feel again.”

“Even if what you feel is pain?” he asks. 

An emotion you haven’t felt in years bubbles to the surface, startling you so much that your voice cracks slightly as you reply, “Yes! I’d love to feel pain again. I’d love to feel anything!”

A smile spreads across his features, and his hands move to your shirt. “I’ll make you feel again,” he says as he pulls your shirt over your head and tosses it aside. “But it will only work if you want it.”

“I… I want it,” you say, realizing with some measure of shock that you’re already feeling emotions you thought long dead. 

He removes the rest of your clothes, leaving them strewn about the floor. Then he stands back to look at you. Completely bare before him, you don’t feel embarrassed. Shame is yet another emotion you can’t seem to feel anymore. But there is a strange prickling sensation on your skin as his eyes rake over you, taking in the scars that form a map of your suffering. 

“It’s like a work of art,” he says, his gaze lingering on the left side of your torso. The words make you feel something else, but you’re not sure what that is. Your own emotions have become unfamiliar to you. 

He leads you over to the X shaped table and lifts you onto it, then spreads you out on it like a meal. He slowly attaches the leather cuffs on each end to your ankles and wrists, still watching your face for any sign of fear. 

There is none. You’re starting to feel things for the first time in three years, but fear isn’t one of them. If he can bring back the girl you once were, one who could laugh and smile and feel, then you’ll accept anything he wants to do to you. 

Once you’re secured to the table, he stands back and unbuttons his shirt. When he slips it off his shoulders, you get a full view of the intricate tattoos on his body. They’re beautiful, the way they move and twist with his body’s motion. 

He steps back to the table and runs one large hand over your arm, trailing it down toward your chest, where he squeezes your scarred breast. You can’t feel it, so you don’t know if he’s squeezing hard or not, but when his fingers lightly slide over your nipple, a tingling sensation blossoms there. What was that? 

Did he notice that you felt something? You don’t think you visibly reacted in any way, but he’s smiling as if he knows. His fingers suddenly pinch your nipple, and you feel pressure, but little else. He maintains eye contact as he leans down and runs his tongue over that same nipple, then wraps his lips around it. You feel it again, that pleasant tingling. It reminds you of something, but you can’t remember what. 

His hand moves to your other breast, where his fingers grope and pinch. You feel this a little more, and your breathing quickens slightly. That’s when he stops abruptly and goes over to the wall again. This time he returns with a rolled up velvet pouch, which he unrolls to reveal a group of very long, very thin, shiny silver needles. 

He pulls one out and holds it up for you to see. “Let’s see how numb you really are,” he says. Then he grips your scarred nipple between his finger and thumb with one hand while using the other to bring the needle closer. He looks up at your face, perhaps still searching for a trace of fear. Finding none, he pushes the needle in, sliding it sideways through your flesh. 

Your breath hitches as a new sensation hits you. This… this is pain! You haven’t felt it in so long, you’d almost forgotten it. When he grips the other nipple, the one with no scar tissue to dull your senses, you almost flinch. He grins up at you, as if he’s reading your mind. He leans down and licks the nipple slowly, awakening it to sensation, before plunging the needle in. 

This time you gasp, your arms reflexively tugging on the restraints. You felt that! Not as keenly as a normal woman would, but far more than you’ve felt anything else in years. It hurt. It still hurts as his hand squeezes your breast, his tongue running over the needle imbedded in your skin. But you welcome the pain. It’s far more preferable to no feeling whatsoever. 

Then he steps back again, and walks around the table to the bottom, where he moves in between your widely spread legs. His hand moves to your pussy, kneading it gently for a moment before his fingers slip inside your folds, finding you clit. 

You draw in a sharp breath as he strokes it, feeling the pleasure so strongly that it’s almost as if you were never numb. Your previous owner had ignored your clit, having no interest in giving you pleasure, so these sensations were entirely new to you. 

When Sukuna uses his fingers to spread you open and leans forward to lick your quivering clit, your body nearly jerks off the table. He rises up and looks at you. “Not so numb down here, are you?”

You can only gasp out shallow breaths.  

His thumb begins stroking you again as he speaks. “I don’t care who your previous owner was.” He reaches over and pulls one more needle from the pouch, his tongue running over you again, making your nerves come alive. “I don’t care if you’ve had a thousand different owners before me.” His thumb and finger pinch your clit, holding it in position. Your heart races as you wait, now holding your breath. “Because now,” he says, gliding his tongue across the glimmering needle in his hand, “you belong to me.”

He pushes the needle into your clit from the bottom and out the top, so slowly that you feel every single bit of it. Your body bucks from the table, your arms and legs jerk against the cuffs, and a loud scream erupts from your mouth as you feel excruciating pain for the first time in three years. 

It’s wonderful. 

Tears spring to your eyes, and you cum on the spot, weeping and shuddering. You were certain you would never experience an orgasm again for the rest of your life, but here you were, riding out the insane pleasure while Sukuna’s tongue prodded your clit, licking over the needle stuck there. 

**************

Sukuna watches his doll as she sleeps peacefully in his bed. She passed out not long after the “training session” was over, just as he was unfastening the cuffs on her wrists. He carried her to his bed and laid her there, and now he’s looking over her scarred form once more before covering her. 

He’s surprised by the progress they’d already made, but he can’t get too comfortable. 

Because he noticed it. When he pulled the needles out of her, which should have hurt, she didn’t even flinch. He’d squeezed one nipple afterwards, before beginning to uncuff her, just to test it. This should have made her scream, given how sore she should be, but she had no reaction at all. 

Meaning she’s numb again. The awakening of her senses was only temporary, and wore off after she came down from the high of her orgasm. 

Sukuna smiles. He certainly enjoys a challenge, and it’s clear to him that his job is far from over. 

Tag List:

@akaotv 

[moonselune]

Saw the Inbox was open, so got a request for Astarion, Wyll, and Karlach if that's okay? Could we get Tav giving them a massage? Maybe they noticed that they seemed tense, or they had a hard fight not too long ago. Or maybe they have been working hard on something. Either way their lover decides to pull out all the stops to help them relax. I just think getting a massage from someone they love would mean the most for those three. For Karlach she's gone so long without any touch whatsoever that a loving gesture like that would mean the world to her. For Astarion he's spent 200 years not getting a gentle kind none sexual touch that I think getting a massage from someone he loves, and having the massage done simply due to wanting to help him would be pretty emotional for him. As for Wyll he makes a lot of comments about his new bumps, ridges, and horns once he's transformed that it seems like he is worried about how he will be viewed by everyone. I think getting a gentle touch from someone he loves, and them being open that they love every part of him would do a world of good for him.

aweee this is so wholesome

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Karlach:

The camp was quiet as the night settled in, the fire crackling softly, casting warm light across the nearby trees. You sat on a large log, absently staring at the flames as your mind wandered. The day had been long, and the battle not so long ago had taken its toll on everyone—especially Karlach.

She had fought with everything she had, as always. Her unrelenting strength had turned the tide in the group's favor, but you could tell that it had drained her. She’d seemed tense afterwards, her usual infectious energy dimmed by exhaustion and something else—something deeper.

Karlach hadn’t said much after the fight, brushing off any offers of help with her usual bright smile, but you could see it in the set of her jaw, the tightness in her shoulders. You knew she was trying to hide her discomfort, not wanting to burden anyone else with it.

But after so long without any physical touch, her Infernal engine keeping her separated from the world for years, you knew that offering her comfort in the form of touch was exactly what she needed right now.

Your heart ached just thinking about it. Karlach had been deprived of touch for so long, and though she could now finally enjoy it again, she was still hesitant—almost afraid to ask for it. You stood up, determined, and made your way toward her tent.

As you approached, you saw her sitting at the edge of her bedroll, her back to you. She was rubbing her neck, clearly trying to work out the tension, but her broad shoulders remained stiff. Her dark hair was damp with sweat, sticking to the back of her neck, a testament to the effort she had put into the battle.

“Karlach?” you called softly, not wanting to startle her.

She turned her head slightly, her red eyes catching the glow of the campfire. Her smile was as bright as ever, though a little tired around the edges.

“Hey, babe,” she greeted, her voice warm but with an undertone of exhaustion. “Everything alright?”

You smiled softly, stepping closer. “I could ask you the same thing. You look tense.”

Karlach chuckled, though it was a little forced. “Yeah, you know, just… still buzzing from the fight. Hard to wind down sometimes.”

You stopped just behind her, taking in the sight of her muscular frame, the tension evident in every line of her body.

“I was thinking,” you said gently, “maybe I could help with that. How about a massage?”

Karlach froze for a moment, as if the offer had caught her completely off guard. She glanced over her shoulder at you, her eyes wide, searching your face for any hint of insincerity. But all she found was genuine concern and affection.

“A massage?” she repeated, her voice soft, almost incredulous. “For me?”

You nodded, stepping around to kneel in front of her. “You’ve been through so much, Karlach. You deserve a little kindness, a little… love. Let me help.”

Her breath hitched slightly at your words, and she blinked rapidly, as if trying to process the offer. The idea of someone willingly wanting to touch her—especially after everything she had been through—was still something she was getting used to. Her time in Avernus had left her starved for contact, and even now, with her engine stabilized, she hesitated to ask for it.

“I… I’d love that,” she finally whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “But only if you’re sure. I don’t want to—”

“Shh,” you interrupted softly, reaching up to gently brush a strand of hair from her face. “I’m sure. Just relax, okay?”

Karlach let out a shaky breath, nodding as she turned to sit with her back to you. Her shoulders were still tense, but she trusted you completely, and that trust meant the world to you. You moved to sit behind her, your hands hovering over her shoulders for a moment before gently resting them on her warm skin.

The moment your hands touched her, Karlach let out a soft gasp. It wasn’t just the sensation of your fingers—it was the fact that she could feel you, that you wanted to touch her. It had been so long since she’d felt anything like this, so long since anyone had cared enough to offer her something so simple, yet so profound.

You began to knead her shoulders slowly, working your thumbs into the tight muscles. Karlach’s body was solid, sculpted from years of battle and hardship, but under your touch, you could feel her slowly begin to relax. Her head dipped forward slightly, and she let out a long, quiet sigh.

“Gods, that feels… amazing,” she murmured, her voice soft and full of gratitude. “I didn’t realize how much I needed this.”

You smiled softly, your hands continuing their gentle work, moving from her shoulders down her back, working out the knots of tension. “You carry so much weight, Karlach. You never let yourself rest.”

She chuckled quietly, though there was a hint of sadness in it. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

Your hands stilled for a moment, and you leaned forward, resting your cheek against her shoulder. “You don’t have to carry everything alone anymore, you know. I’m here. We’re all here.”

Karlach was quiet for a moment, her breath shallow as she processed your words. Slowly, she turned her head, looking over her shoulder at you with an expression so vulnerable, it nearly broke your heart.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “But I’m so damn glad you’re here.”

You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder before resuming your massage. “You deserve all the love in the world, Karlach. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Karlach didn’t respond right away, but you could feel the way her body relaxed further under your touch, the way her breathing deepened as she let herself surrender to the moment. She had gone so long without affection, without comfort, that even this small gesture meant everything to her.

By the time you finished, Karlach was nearly limp with relaxation, her muscles no longer tense and rigid. She let out a contented sigh as you finally pulled your hands away, leaning back against her bedroll.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Karlach murmured, her voice soft and full of warmth.

You chuckled, brushing a hand through her hair. “I could say the same about you.”

Karlach shifted, turning to face you fully. Her eyes were soft, filled with gratitude and something deeper, something that made your heart swell. She reached out, pulling you into a gentle embrace, her strong arms wrapping around you as if she never wanted to let go.

For a moment, neither of you said anything, simply holding each other in the quiet of the night. It was a moment of peace, of connection, something Karlach had been missing for so long—and now, she had it with you.

“Truly, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Karlach whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

You smiled, resting your head against her chest, feeling the steady rhythm of her heart beneath your cheek. “You’ll never have to find out.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Astarion:

The evening air was cool as it drifted through the camp, the last rays of the sun fading into twilight. The fire crackled softly, casting a warm, flickering glow over the tents and figures scattered around the campsite. You sat quietly by the fire, your eyes drifting toward Astarion, who was sitting a little distance away, his back to a tree. He hadn’t said much since the battle earlier, his usual playful banter and flirtatious remarks replaced by a quiet, almost brooding silence.

You could see it in the way he sat—his shoulders tense, his jaw clenched, fingers absentmindedly tracing the hilt of his dagger. It was a stark contrast to the usual confident, even cocky demeanor he carried himself with.

It wasn’t just the physical toll of the fight weighing on him, you realized. Something else was gnawing at him, something deeper. You knew how much he hated feeling out of control, how the years under Cazador had shaped him, made him wary of letting anyone too close unless he was in charge of the situation. Now you were in the lower city, those feelings were most likely bombarding him.

Your heart ached for him. You had been together for some time now, your relationship blossoming slowly as Astarion learned to trust you—learned to accept the tenderness you offered him, despite his instinct to shield himself from vulnerability. But even so, moments like this, when he seemed trapped in his own thoughts, still reminded you of how much he had endured, how long he had gone without the kind of affection most took for granted.

You stood up, quietly making your way over to him. He didn’t notice you at first, too lost in his own thoughts, but when you gently placed a hand on his shoulder, he flinched slightly, his body tensing further before he realized it was you. He looked up, his ruby eyes meeting yours, a flicker of surprise and something else—something softer—crossing his features.

“Darling,” he greeted, though his voice lacked its usual lightness. “What’s the matter? Come to make sure I haven’t brooded myself into oblivion?”

You offered him a small smile, kneeling beside him. “I’m more worried about you. You’ve been quiet… and tense.”

Astarion’s lips twitched into a half-hearted smirk, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Oh, you know me. Always dramatic, always brooding about something. It’s nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about.”

But you didn’t miss the way his hand clenched a little tighter around the dagger, the subtle tension in his muscles. He might try to play it off with a joke, but you could see through the act—see the exhaustion beneath it, both physical and emotional.

“I can help, you know,” you said softly, placing your hand over his. “If you’d let me.”

Astarion raised an eyebrow, though his curiosity was piqued. “Help? And how exactly do you propose to do that?”

You smiled gently, your thumb brushing over his knuckles. “A massage. You look tense, and I think it might help you relax.”

For a moment, Astarion just stared at you, his expression unreadable. It was clear the idea caught him off guard, the offer of something so simple, so innocent, something that had no ulterior motive behind it other than wanting to ease his discomfort. He blinked, his eyes narrowing slightly as if he were trying to gauge whether you were serious.

“A massage?” he echoed, his voice laced with both skepticism and curiosity. “Why, darling, I didn’t realize you were offering such intimate services.”

You could tell he was trying to turn it into a joke, to deflect from the vulnerability of the moment, but you weren’t about to let him brush it off so easily. You leaned in a little closer, your voice soft but firm. “I’m serious, Astarion. Just… let me take care of you. No expectations, no strings attached. Just because I want to.”

His expression faltered for a moment, the mask slipping as he studied your face, searching for any sign of pity or insincerity. But all he found was the same quiet concern, the same affection that you always showed him. Slowly, almost reluctantly, he nodded.

“All right,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “But if you try anything cheeky, I’m holding you responsible for my utter lack of self-control.”

You chuckled softly, shaking your head as you moved behind him. “Just relax.”

Astarion sat up a little straighter, his shoulders still tense as you gently placed your hands on them. You could feel the tightness in his muscles immediately, the way they were coiled with stress and tension. You began to work your fingers into the knots, starting gently at first, gauging his reaction. His skin was cool to the touch, but you could feel the way his body responded to your touch—the way he slowly, hesitantly began to relax beneath your hands.

At first, Astarion remained quiet, his breathing shallow, as if he didn’t quite know how to react to the sensation. It was clear that this kind of touch—gentle, caring, without any ulterior motive—was still unfamiliar to him. For so long, any physical contact had been either violent or manipulative, a tool used against him rather than something given out of love.

But as your hands continued their work, massaging his shoulders and down his back, you were careful with his scars, you didn't want to highlight them, to ruin the moment for him, but eventually you felt him begin to loosen up. His breathing grew deeper, his posture less rigid, and a soft sigh escaped his lips. His head dipped forward slightly, and for the first time in what felt like ages, he let himself truly relax.

“Gods,” Astarion whispered, his voice filled with something akin to wonder. “I didn’t realize how much I… needed this.”

You smiled softly, your hands moving to gently knead the muscles at the base of his neck. “You deserve it, Astarion. You deserve to be taken care of.”

Astarion let out another quiet sigh, his body leaning back into your touch as if he couldn’t help himself. He was silent for a long moment, and when he finally spoke again, his voice was softer, more vulnerable than you’d ever heard it before.

“I’ve gone so long without…” He trailed off, swallowing hard. “Without this. Without… someone who cared enough to offer it.”

Your heart ached at his words, at the raw emotion you could hear in his voice. You leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head.

“You have me now,” you whispered. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

Astarion closed his eyes, his body completely relaxing into your hands now, as if the weight of the world had finally been lifted from his shoulders. He leaned back against you, letting you hold him, his head resting against your chest as your arms wrapped around him from behind.

For a long time, neither of you spoke, simply content to be in each other’s presence, to share this moment of quiet intimacy. Astarion’s breathing was slow and steady now, his usual guarded walls lowered, if only for a little while. You held him close, your fingers gently stroking through his hair, and you could feel the way his heart began to beat a little slower, a little more peacefully.

“Thank you,” he whispered after a long while, his voice filled with emotion. “For this. For… everything.”

You pressed another kiss to his temple, your lips brushing against his skin. “Always, Astarion.”

You knew that no matter how hard it might be for him to accept, no matter how many walls he still had up, you would be there for him—offering him the love and comfort he had been denied for so long. Because he deserved it. And you would make sure he never had to doubt that again.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Wyll:

The moon hung low in the sky, casting a gentle silver light over the camp. The day had been long, filled with battles and plans, but even in the moments of respite, Wyll had barely allowed himself to rest. You noticed him sitting by the fire, his back straight, his body tense—always ready, always vigilant. It had been days since you'd seen him truly relax, and it was beginning to take its toll. His usually warm smile had been dimmed by worry, and there was a weight in his shoulders that hadn’t been there before.

He had been working so hard to help everyone, to be the hero he believed he needed to be, but something else lingered in the way he carried himself. It was subtle—the way he sometimes avoided his reflection, the way his hand would linger on the ridges and horns that now adorned his forehead and arms. Wyll’s transformation had been jarring, and though he tried to hide it, you could tell it weighed on him.

You stood and made your way over to him, sitting down by his side. He glanced at you, giving a small smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes.

"Hey," you said softly, reaching out to gently touch his arm. "You’ve been working hard again, haven’t you?"

Wyll chuckled, though it sounded tired. "Someone has to, love. There’s always something that needs doing, always someone who needs help. I can’t just sit still when there’s work to be done."

"You’re allowed to rest too, you know," you said, your thumb tracing small circles on his arm. "You don’t have to carry everything on your own."

He let out a small sigh, his hand moving up to rub at the ridges on his forehead, his fingers brushing against the small horns that had appeared after his transformation. There was something hesitant in the way he touched them, as though he still wasn’t sure they were truly a part of him.

"I’m not the same, am I?" he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "I look in the mirror sometimes, and I don’t even recognize myself anymore. The horns, the… bumps. I wonder if people will see me as a monster now."

His words hit you hard. Wyll, the man who had always been so confident, so noble, was doubting himself—doubting how the world would see him. You could see it in the way he held himself now, as if he was trying to hide parts of himself, as if he was unsure whether he was still the same person.

You shifted closer, gently taking his hand in yours. "You’re not a monster, Wyll. Not even close."

He gave a small, almost bitter laugh. "That’s kind of you to say, but it doesn’t change what I see when I look in the mirror. These horns, this… fiendish body. I can’t help but wonder how long it’ll be before people stop seeing Wyll the Blade of Frontiers and start seeing a creature instead."

You frowned, your heart aching for him. He had gone through so much, sacrificed so much, and yet here he was, doubting his own worth because of changes he couldn’t control. You leaned forward, your voice gentle but firm.

"I see Wyll. I see the man who fights for what’s right, who stands up for the people who can’t protect themselves. I see the man who would sacrifice anything for those he loves, who’s kind and strong and full of light. That’s who I see."

Wyll turned to you, his eyes searching your face, as if trying to find some semblance of truth in your words. Slowly, you moved behind him, placing your hands on his shoulders, feeling the tension in his muscles.

"Let me help you relax," you said softly. "You’ve been carrying so much. Let me take care of you for a little while."

Wyll hesitated for a moment, but then nodded, leaning back slightly as you began to gently massage his shoulders. His body was tense, muscles tight from days of strain, but as your hands worked over his shoulders and down his back, you felt him slowly begin to relax under your touch.

Your fingers worked gently but firmly, kneading the knots in his muscles, and with each pass, you could feel the tension melting away. Wyll let out a soft sigh, his body sinking further into relaxation as you continued.

"You’ve always been so strong, Wyll," you said quietly, your hands moving to massage the base of his neck. "Not just physically, but in everything you do. You care so much, and you give so much of yourself to others. But you don’t have to carry it all alone. I’m here too, and I love every part of you—horns, ridges, everything."

Wyll’s breath hitched slightly, and you could feel him tense up again, though this time it was different. There was emotion behind it, a vulnerability that he rarely showed.

"You… you really mean that?" he asked, his voice quieter now, almost unsure.

You smiled, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the top of his head. "I do. Every part of you is worthy of love, Wyll. You’ve given so much of yourself to the world, and now it’s time for you to let someone love you for exactly who you are."

Wyll was quiet for a long moment, and when he finally spoke again, his voice was thick with emotion. "I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that."

You continued massaging his back, your hands moving down to his lower back, working out the last of the tension. Wyll let out a deep sigh, his body fully relaxing now as he leaned back into your touch.

"You’re not alone, Wyll," you whispered, your hands still gently working over his skin. "And you never will be. I love every part of you, and nothing will ever change that."

Wyll turned his head slightly, looking up at you with a soft, grateful smile.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice filled with warmth. "I don’t know what I did to deserve you."

You smiled, your fingers brushing through his hair gently. "You don’t have to do anything, Wyll. Just be yourself. That’s more than enough."

For the first time in what felt like days, Wyll truly smiled—a genuine, soft smile that reached his eyes. And as you sat there together, the weight of the world seemed a little lighter, if only for a moment.

You continued to massage his back, your hands gentle but firm, and Wyll leaned back into you, his body completely at ease. He wasn’t just the Blade of Frontiers anymore. He was Wyll—your Wyll, and that was more than enough for both of you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Gods now I want a massage. Hope you guys enjoyed it !! - Seluney xox

If you want to support me in other ways | Help keep this moonmaiden caffeinated x

[liliewrites]

Requesting a NSFW transfem! Arle with fem!reader who works at the hearth & arle simps for reader but like reader is oblivious to all that cus like she's surrounded by kids almost 24/7. Somehow reader convinced Arle to bring the kids to a beach (I am not even sure if there's a beach in Fontaine but let's assume so XD). So on beach day, bringing a whole bunch of kids means a bunch of guards gotta be there (cus safety). So Arle sees reader wearing a bikini with a sash(is that what it's called I have no idea) since it's like hot out and then arle gets a pretty bad boner & rails reader in her room privately after the day at the beach. Since arle got jealous of the stares reader gets from the guards. (Sorry if its very long & no pressure.)

lmaoooo bare with me anon, this is giving me brainrot... jealous arlecchino. also forgive me if the ending is a little silly and my writing isn't that great waksjdk i rlly didn't know how to end it and this was supposed to be just a thirst lmaoo. anyw i hope u like this!!:))

- warning/s : transfem! arlecchino, jealous sex, creampie.

(men and minors dni under the cut!)

filthy, disgusting, outrageous-

oh, but arlecchino was not better than her men. those men- ogling and staring at you. it irritated her to no end. to her defense, she was simply watching over you and the children, it's not like she was busy staring at your.. pretty tits, nor was she staring at your.. plump ass. arlecchino was a woman of duty and responsibility, she was just here to watch over the kids, yes. as the father and head of the house of hearth, it was her job to ensure the safety-

oh who was she kidding? "fuck.."

she cursed under her breath, no matter how hard she convinced herself, she could not suppress her rushing emotions- especially the blood rushing down her pants. she let out a frustrated groan. oh, oh, archons, the fatui guards who were ogling at you were making her blood rush in annoyance, and your pretty figure exposed in broad daylight made blood rush in her pants. she couldn't help it anymore, she couldn't just stand by and watch you get eye-fucked by the guards.

she got up with a scoff. her tall stature, straight and stiff shoulders coupled with an annoyed glare was what greeted the guards.

"you buffoons, stop slacking off and watch the kids." she scolded them, not needing to raise her voice. they were not kids, they didn't need to be told twice to do their jobs properly, and hopefully the guards had immediately understood that she caught them staring at who was supposed to be hers, and had made it clear to not make the mistake of doing so again- or they will be fucked up.

after doing that, however, arlecchino could not afford any more time pass by without her making it also clear to you what you were making her feel- it was annoying her, it was getting on her nerves- how you act so clueless about the feelings she’d been trying to convey across to you for the past few days. so the harbinger walked towards you, grabbing your wrist with no explanation whatsoever.

much to your fear (and.. delight?), she brought you to her private room that she had rented for herself during the house of hearth’s whole stay at the beach, shoving you in just enough to force you inside her room, but not too much to actually make you fall on the floor.

"f-father? what's wrong-"

"do not call me father, woman. i am done playing these stupid little games with you."

pray tell, you were confused about what she said and you really wanted to know what she was talking about, as you were currently cowering in fear under the knave's harsh glare. she refused that you call her father, and she spoke with a tone that dripped with irk making you unsure of how to properly react to her as you were scared that you’d anger her further. "m-my lord, i am confused. what is it that you mean?" you asked, and she grabbed your wrist once more, pushing you on the bed and pinning you down.

"my dear, do not act coy with me. i have done all that i can to convey my feelings towards you, and yet you let those filthy men drool and fantasize about what i wish to claim as mine?"

you let arlecchino's words register for a moment. acting coy? feelings? claim as hers?

the dumbfounded look on your face was enough to make arlecchino realize that you had indeed not been able to grasp her feelings, you were not acting coy, nor were you pretending to be clueless. you really, really, didn’t know.

— for her whole life as an underling of the fatui and as a harbinger, a master of wearing a mask of apathy, a trained actor in the field of faux cruelty, she has never been able to experience embarrassment to this degree, and besotted! she couldn’t believe it was because of silly, petty feelings of romance.

she immediately moved away, feeling guilty and ashamed of her own actions, but mostly annoyed at herself- and those damned fatui guards. they were the reason for her acting this way, they were the reason, they-

you, however, noticed the little.. bump in her pants while sat there in silence, seemingly lost in thought (she was busy convincing herself it was the guards’ fault). you were as flustered as she was, of course, but seeing arlecchino, the feared knave, turned on and vulnerable because of you? it was plain to see that you had a little confidence boost and you ended up provoking the said harbinger, catching her off guard.

"my lord, is.. this because of me?" "what do you think, milaya?" "i don't know. i asked you because i do not know why you are so aroused and turned on, my lord. could it be because of someone else? oh, oh boo.”

now, now arlecchino was sure that this form of teasing from you was intentional. she looked at you with a rather dark stare, her earlier annoyed expression returning to her face, and she clicked her tongue.

”i was about to forgive you for being oblivious towards my displays of affection, but your behavior right now is inexcusable, my dear.”

she crawled back towards you, and you could feel a rush of adrenaline through your veins. you were no longer afraid, as you were sure that the knave held some sort of sentimental feelings towards you — you were unsure for now what it was, but to know that you were important to her, oh, it made you feel confident.

”milaya, accuse me one more time of loving another woman, consider this a warning, but i will definitely have to show you these feelings that pester me day and night because of you.”

”then show me, my lord, must i admit? i do not know the identity of the woman whom you clearly fantasize enough about to make you have such a.. hard-on”

oh, you’ve definitely pushed enough of arlecchino’s buttons today but now you really were riling her up on purpose? needless to say, no more words were exchanged between you, and the pretty little bikini that caused all this jealous fiasco of hers was ripped off of you (with the promise that arlecchino would buy you a new one, a better one.) and now you were face-front and pushed down against the bed.

oh, she definitely was not small. you could feel her fill you up and stretch you out. deep, harsh, thrusts were the only thing you felt. your senses were overstimulated with the sensations of her, everything was just her now. your mind was hazy, but all you could see was her white and black locks, framing her handsome face. all you could smell was her slightly woody smell, along with the musk coming from the love-making you both were currently doing. all you could hear was her grunts and your incoherent cries of her name. all you could taste were her lips pressed against yours, her tongue running against your lips as she separates. all you could feel were her hands gripping on your wrists, her hips slamming against yours and her dick reaching spots you never knew could even be reached, oh, oh and the overwhelming sensation of those little jolts of pleasure whenever she rammed against you. everything was just her, her and her—

”m-my lord, i-i can’t-”

”silence, you’ve irked me enough, take it.”

“milaya, my dear. oh how i’ve waited for this..” she grumbled in your ear, bringing you slightly back to your senses, before biting down on your skin that caused you to be fully awake and aware of everything again. the speed of her thrusts increasing but her rhythm had started to falter. it made you whine and whimper, you could barely understand what she was saying, the pleasure was messing with your train of thought.

”those dirty.. dirty bastards, staring at you- well too bad, because i am the one who’s fucking you right now. mine, mine. i could barely stand it.”

the jealousy on her face, the scowl and her gritted teeth as she continued fucking you to no end despite you already clawing at the sheets with how close you are. you could tell, her feelings were genuine, and if you weren’t fucking you’d be a flustered mess- not that you currently weren’t a mess. just a different kind. her lips wrapped itself around your pretty little nips, sucking on it and playing with it using her tongue in a rather aggressive manner. biting every now and then on your chest too, creating purple splotches on your skin that made her feel proud to see. however, with every single movement that she did to you, you inched closer to the edge.

as her lips latched onto that one particular spot on your neck, licking it, biting it— you swear you felt yourself black out for a moment, something snapping in your lower region and your whole body arched and convulsed. you’ve never felt an orgasm this intense. it felt so good. so fucking good, not just for you- but for arlecchino too.

”f-fuck, milaya, you take me so good- i-i- fuck-”

with a loud curse, her hips stilled and shook, slamming deep into you and you felt warmth flood your insides while you were still feeling the ebbs of your high. it made you have mini convulsions, as you were extremely sensitive from how rough she was pounding into you. panting, breathless, she didn’t pull out but she did collapse on top of you. her face shoved in your neck, and you knew she felt embarrassed as she refused to face you.

as you called her that title, she got on her elbows and hovered on top of you, looking at you with a stern stare. “milaya, you are free to call me by my name and not by any title anymore. please, call me by my name.” she requested, and it was.. so different from her commanding tone that you got used to. your heart melted at the noticeable vulnerability she was showing you, and it made you smile. “okay, arlecchino. i take it that we should go back to the beach and see the kids?” the sound of her name rolling of your tongue made her feel bliss, but the next few words that came from your mouth had reminded her of today's earlier events.

”.. my dear, i was not too rough with you, was i? i didn’t force myself on you, did i?”

”no, my lord.”

oh, right, the beach. arlecchino shook her head at the thought, knowing that the guards were there. she scoffed at the thought and returned to her previous position of burying her face in your neck.

“no. let’s stay here.”

”- but the kids- a-arlecchino!”

”i’m afraid that we’ll have to stay here for awhile, my dear. i have not shown enough of my love to you, and i wish to make it clear to whom you belong to.”

before you could even protest, she gently thrusted her hips once more to cut you off. “no, milaya, we stay here. who said i was done disciplining you?” she told you, voice low followed by a groan.

her pace was slow but deep, you could feel every inch of her rubbing against your sensitive walls. it made you tremble once more that you couldn’t find it in you to answer back anymore.

safe to say, you were unable to come out of the room for the rest of the day nor the following. you were worried about the kids and the kids were worried about you— but you were safe here in arlecchino’s room, and they were safe under the guards’ surveillance, otherwise they’d have to face execution if anything ever happened to them. surely, it wouldn’t be selfish of arlecchino have you all to herself without any distraction for a day, yes? it was a vacation after all!:3

a/n : owjhasjdh my bad, i forgot to include this, but milaya ("милая") is a russian endearment used for feminine lover hihi.

[lilybug-02]

The HK comic was very sweet and wholesome and I loved every second of reading it! :3

Also does Dewi give hornet back her thread? Im pretty sure she needs that for silksong when that eventually releases lol

Also to go off on an unrelated tangent/rant, people have been supposedly like up in arms about how "Silksong will never release!" and how "Its taking FORVEVER to come out!" But like.... First of all, its and indie studio. Secondly It was only announced in 2019, which, yeah, was 5 years ago, but with the way people were describing it I thought it was announced like way earlier. And hollow knight was released in 2017, but the way people talk about it makes me think its like a classic from early 2000's or something. Sure, its a good game, but why are people so stuck on the Silksong thing? Like at least you're pretty sure you're probably gonna get a full game when it releases. With other communities/fandoms you'd be lucky to get even an announcement. Like Deltarune for example. Not even Toby Fox was sure he was gonna be able to do it in the first place lol. And if you think 5 years is bad of a wait, imagine waiting for a new LITERALLY ANYTHING WHATSOEVER from Bethesda that isnt the 100th re-re-release gold ultra plus edition of fucking Skyrim again but now on the fucking smart watch or whatever. I'm 90% sure that most of Bethesda's existance as a company has been spent making something for Skyrim instead of working on anything new or original.

Sorry for the random rant btw

Anyways love your art, have a nice day, kay bye imma go die of awkwardness in the corner :)

First off thank you very very much. I am so glad to hear how much you like the Hollow Knight comic. And to answer your question, Hornet allowed Dewi to keep that thread. She gave it to him as a peace offering for helping the bugs get back home and to lead Dewi through the maze like cave. Don't worry, she has PLENTY of thread back in Hallownest.

And regarding the impatience of Silksong. I get it. I am the very lucky few to get into the game NOW. I haven't had to wait as long as the many other people waiting for Silksong to release, and in that regard I am quite spoiled. Yeah, Deltarune won't fully release in at least another 5 years, but I wouldn't want to say I'm morally better for my "patience". Waiting for a game or any kind of media SUCKS. The fandom keeps it alive, but even those can grow stagnant. As long as you aren't harassing the creators or fans of the project, you can be as angry or frustrated or sad as you want. I think it's normal and can help others feel less alone in their feelings as well.

Not to say your points of contention above aren't relevant!!! Patience and kindness are always important to keep in mind with artistic projects. Art is HARD and can be very taxing. I hope I'm not dampening your message. ❤️ Thanks for sharing

[vividraft]

red and black paint ✧˖*°࿐

⇢ ˗ˏˋ artist gn!reader

⇢ ˗ˏˋ characters: Gojo Satoru

⇢ ˗ˏˋ summary: you lost the competition that you prepared for all your life, and now nothing seems to be able to help you regain your composure. Almost nothing at least

⇢ ˗ˏˋ a/n: this is too short to be a fic?? but i think its a little long for a drabble...? 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

masterlist

You didn’t call him. You didn’t call him, text him, or left him any sort of message. It wasn’t like you, especially because Gojo knew, today was a special day for you. Maybe special was the wrong word? 

His fingers trembled a little when he called you one last time, without a response whatsoever. His head was shouting at him, to check on you. He tried to ignore it, because you were fine right? He probably just mixed up the time when you were supposed to find out your results of the competition. 

He knew better than to think that way. He had marked it in his calendar, on his phone as well as on his wall, with the exact time. So now that two hours have passed without any response from you, he couldn’t sit there and wait. 

And before he knew it, he was in front of your house, kneeling down to pick up the key he knew you hid under your doormat. 

It was quiet when he entered, until a grunt came from your art room. An angry scream and another one. 

“Y/n?”, he shouted from the moment he entered your hallway. Could you even hear him?

“Y/n”, his feet led him towards your art room. 

Opening the door the smell of paint and old wood hit him, and right before his eyes there were you. You, standing in the middle of disaster, between littered canvas, some empty and some painted. Broken brushes which were tossed around the room, tubes of paint thrown and some of them opened, leaving marks of your anger all across the room. 

Pens and erasers were brushed off your desk in an angry fit, leaving only some paintings untouched. 

And there you stood, in the middle of it, with the painting in your hand that you spend so much time and tears on, to submit it into the probably most important contest of your life. 

You raised your hand, ready to throw the painting, to destroy the work you were now so embarrassed of, feeling stupid that you spent so much time on it, and ready to destroy all proof that you ever tried so hard to be somebody with your art. 

“Y/n!”, Gojo rushed into the room, grabbing your hand before you could do more damage to your work, and wrapping his arms around you. 

You dropped the painting, and simultaneously dropped to your knees, sitting down on the floor with Gojo. 

“‘Toru?”, since when was he here? 

“‘Toru I failed, it all means nothing I don’t-”, your arms wrapped around him, hands clawing at the back of his shirt, one of his hands on your back, and the other on the back of your head, pushing you into the crook of his neck. 

“I have nothing to show- I am nobody-!”, your breathing was getting heavier and tears were now rolling down your cheeks, and in your head you were begging them to stay where they came from. 

You didn’t want to cry, you didn’t want to be so weak, and admit that you lost. You wanted to be angry, you wanted to be sure that your art was worth something, and if you cried, it felt like you were disagreeing with yourself. But it was no good. 

“That’s not true y/n, you’re not nobody- you’re-”, all the things you were feeling made his heart clench. Like somebody was cutting it smaller piece by piece. 

“Yes it’s true!”, everytime he said your name it was like he was reminding you that you were you, and you will always be you. You tried to push away from his embrace, but he held onto you. Why were you angry that he was disagreeing with you? 

“I’m not letting you go. I never will” in your current state, you couldn’t understand the promise he was making to always be by your side, no matter who you were. So all you could do was sit there and cry and sob in his arms. 

Until eventually, your eyelids felt so heavy, your sobs quieted down slowly, and your body went limp in Gojos arms. 

He sat there for a minute, ensuring you were asleep for sure, before picking you up and carrying you to your bedroom. He was about to lay down next to you, when his eyes landed on your open laptop. 

“WINNERS OF THIS YEAR'S COMPETITION!”, was written noticeably big across the screen. 

There was a list of people who won, and your name wasn’t to be found. Gojo skimmed it once, then twice, and once again to ensure your name was really not to see. And indeed, you were not on the list. 

He didn’t find it fair, the things you created, with nothing more than a brush and some paint, was better than anything Gojo had ever achieved himself. Every single one of your drawings should be put on show in an art gallery. He didn’t know much about art, but your drawings were as expressive as anything could be, and he couldn’t wrap his mind around how you didn’t win. 

A few months ago while you were still preparing, he told you over and over again that he was sure you would win, and he said that because it was what he genuinely believed. He couldn’t see anything else other than you winning. 

His brows furrowed, and he closed your laptop, before slipping under the covers with you. He wrapped his arms around you, and a shaky sigh escaped your lips.

a/n: part two? this wasnt written with a part two in mind so i gotta get creative, but if enough people want one, ill do it...

[eyesthecolorofarson]

Two weirdos

So i just had the weirdest/stupidest Dead Serious idea

So Dannys been Ghost King for a few millennia now and while Sam, Tucker and Jazz have been ghosts for a long time they still remember human customs and courtesies.

But since Danny is the Ghost King and directly connected to the Infinite Realms and all its weirdness, hes basically forgotten what it was like to be human. And that, along side his obsession, has lead to many a shenanigans.

Case and point, the situation today

—————

He'd been exploring when he found Him

It was supposed to be simple, relaxing. Fly around and take in the sights of a new dimension, watch the mortals go about their daily grind, soak in the ectoplasm that seemed to stick to this city like a plague.

But then he caught sight of Him

It was as if time and reality itself folded and paused, everything suddenly shifting until He was Danny could see

A boy so liminal, so dangerous and deadly yet still so human, running across the rooftops like a dark angel. With the rage he could feel, with the power so potent Danny could practically taste it, this boy–this human–was using it to protect

Danny felt his core sing, he felt his world shift until the boy was all he could see, he felt-he felt—

Love

that was it

Danny loved this boy, and he was positive the boy would love him

______

so instead of working on the fics I should be working on I’m doing this. So meet my Two Weirdos Damian/Danny Au! Where their both more than a little yandere for each other and everyone is concerned but them

fun facts about this AU:

Danny’s not a delusional yandere. Despite the way he acts he knows Damian won’t love him right away, and he doesn’t expect him to. Relationships are built on mutual understanding and trust, and Danny plans to work very hard to earn that

What he doesn’t expect is for Damian to be just as obsessed with Danny as he is him

it just makes him fall In love even more tbh

Speaking of Damian, meeting Danny is just as world-changing for him as it was for Danny

To him, it feels like a piece of him he didn’t even know was missing came back

His world becomes more colorful, breathing somehow becomes easier, everything is suddenly so full of life and he never wants it to go away

when he finds out about how obsessed Danny is with him he stops holding back all his weird urges

and they get weird

When the (rightfully concerned) batfam tell Damian about how Danny’s been watching him sleep, taking his hair, taking pictures of him asleep and even laying down with him—

—he admits without any shame whatsoever that if he had access to Danny’s bedroom he’d do the same thing

its all hopelessly romantic to him

and when they do interact? After years of stalking, watching, learning?

It’s like a dream come true

Finally, Damian thinks, a laugh to die for, a smile that’ll shake worlds, a desperate need for physical affection

And Danny? He’s on cloud nine, baby!

His love loves him too! His love wants to spend every moment with him! His love wants to watch him sleep!

They make a schedule-two nights Damian watches him, two nights Danny watches him, and three they sleep together

Everything is perfect—people who try to hit on Danny disappear, kids who make fun of Damian at school wake to find their family dead and no one willing to take them in

Damian tells Danny he wants to put a tracker on him

Danny says he put one on Damian the day they met

The batfam are so so concerned, Sam and Tucker think it’s hilarious, and Jazz is ok with it as long as no one’s feelings get hurt

[freddy5bear]

Could I request Human Shadow x female reader relationship headcanons? Sfw and nsfw, please and thank you.

First sonic post :D

Human!Shadow x Fem!reader Dating Hcs :3

Sfw!

Can guarantee this man drives you around on the most fabulous motorcycle

Will drive you anywhere almost no questions asked

I have to say if you guys were living together you would be making all of the money, he can't keep a job for more than a month

He knows how hard you work at your job and can't help but feel guilty that he can't really amount to the work that you do so he tries his best to help by cleaning, cooking, and just generally trying to help you with whatever your working on

Man's keeps the house SPOTLESS. You know how much he tries with his skincare why wouldn't it be different when it comes to the cooking and cleaning.

I doubt he's super big on PDA whatsoever. Maybe a little bit of hand holding in a bust place so you don't get lost, but he mostly gives you affection in private.

This man has trauma for days, I think one of the first things you guys figure out in your relationship is Shadows relationship with Maria

If you let him cry on your shoulder, like no reason other than he's sad, the wedding bells are ringing

He is always the big spoon. Refuses to be the little spoon under any circumstances

I doubt he would initiate any and all affection, like he's not opposed but he just doesn't quite understand when something like that should and shouldn't be initiated

He LOVES horror movies, and first person shooter.

If your into that stuff he would offer to play with you, then absolutely kick your ass or baby you until he thinks you can exit the fucking tutorial

NSFW!

7 inches, slight upward curve, circumcised

Again, doesn't quite understand when to initiate so just leaves it to you.

So fucking oblivious to your advances It like actually hurts

He is most certainly a Dom but I can see once in a while he'll let you take over

If he's being a top, maybe a little bit of groaning

If he's a bottom he is whimpering and moaning like nobody else lives around you.

He treats it as more of a stress reliever than an actual intimate activity.

I can see this man being a master in bed, knows everything your into/not into, what pace to go at based on how your feeling

He has probably gotten with a handful of women, but no doubt he's ever been in a serious relationship.

I wanna say power imbalance kink, really into being the stronger one in any situation

Also probably a choking kink in the way he wants to do it to you, again adding to the power dynamic.

He will not cross any boundaries. Ever. If you have expressed that you're unhappy with something in bed he will guarantee to not even speak of it again around you.

Gets really turned on why you are almost shy or embarrassed to ask for what you want.

Its a huge ego boost if you praise him and he loves it. On the other hand it is almost instinct to degrade you to the point of tears.

I'm not really sure about aftercare. Either he cuddles you and helps you clean up or just fuckin leaves you there.

Either way he's expressed he loves you and that your pretty awesome sauce

I was flooded with requests right after my project was finished, I will never see the end of the smut. Prepare to be spoiled y'all, hope this was what u were looking for :D

[angeamant]

my disappearance ♡

hiii this is cynthia most commonly known as gentlehue/jgracie/irlangelics <3 i wasnt gonna make a post like this for reasons i'll go thru under the cut but after having three of you reach out to me on pinterest i thought it'd be unfair to leave everyone in the dark 💗 tagging @luvusrry @findmeonvenus / @daystarpoet and @bloodwrittenletters thank u for checking up on me lovelies xx

okay so the main reason i deactivated yesterday was because i realised being on here was negatively impacting my productivity LOL as you all probably know (because i never shut up about it) im in my second to last year of high school and everything i do now and next year is what has the largest impact on what uni i get into which then has a pretty big impact on where i end up in the future basically LMAO 😭 my life is so busy these days between doing the whole ib itself which im still getting used to since the british system is so structured and tells you exactly what to do in comparison to ib where a lot of it is you doing your own thing & prepping for uni by researching diff courses and the lnat which is an exam i'll have to sit in order to apply to study law & also getting back into all my extracurricular/picking up new ones which is another thing i have to get used to since im SUCH an academically oriented person & a BUNCHHH of other things i wont be getting into rn 😭 and so i cannot afford to be lounging around in any way whatsoever right now!! this is the socmed app i spend the most time on and i tend to tell myself its ok cause im not replying to notifs im just scrolling which is so silly LOL but i need to eliminate that from my life soooo i left

a mini second reason why i left is smth thats gonna be rly hard for me to explain here & im pretty sure probs has smth to do w my ocd (another thing i dont rly like to talk ab that much so idk how many of u know this) but i have this thing where if something negatively impacts me or like if i have a negative association w it it becomes "imperfect" and i acc cannot have it around me like it physically disgusts me and i cant function or think or anything 😭 and thats what was happening w my tumblr account because of how it caused me soooo much procrastination and so little work done 😣 soz if this doesnt make any sense or if its weird but its smth ive had for years now and am slowly working on 😭 my perfectionism is so horrible too and tumblr makes it worse cause im always overthinking what my feed looks like 😫 like i cant have too many talking posts or too many asks or too many reblogs and im always doing them in a way that balances it out in my head and i spiral so bad over it 🙁

ANOTHER reason (wow lots of reasons) is cause ive begun to enjoy my real life so so much these days and dont want to be distracted by being online 😭 i love my friend group i love sixth form i love having a crush i love it all! a lot of my friends r graduating this year as well and so i probs wont be seeing them as often afterwards cause obvs theyre not all applying to unis in our city let alone our country !!! i dont wanna take this year for granted at ALL cause i'll so regret it if i do :(

the second thing im addressing is why i left w out saying anything LOL basically i knew if i posted smth and said my goodbyes i wouldn't commit to it at all 😭 and i need to seriously be disciplined w myself these days if i wanna be rich and traveling the world in 10 years 🫡

i dont know if i'll ever come back but im so so happy i got to know u all whether u knew me from jgracie or discovered me later on after i abandoned her im so glad i got to call u my lovely friends :) i carry a piece of you all wherever i go ♡ you know you'll always know me! i wont deactivate this account but i wont be active on it either unless i decide to fully come back, but if u send me an ask within this week i'll answer it xx

for those of you who are worried about my fics on jgracie, i made a backup account back in the summer and everything ive ever written is reblogged over there :) @cynarchives

[flagellant]

Would love to hear more about your rabid animal encounter!

It was in 2017 at the time and I was working out in the national forests of California. I came into work one day at my ranger's station and there was way more chaos than I expected--turns out that someone had reported a suspected rabid skunk overnight after it bit a dog in a nearby town and it'd been brought in for testing (which includes euthanasia).

I was super curious and had some free time before I needed to actually go out to do what I was assigned so I decided to watch some of the tests being done. I'd seen the vets take blood samples and such of wild animals in the station before--you use basically what amounts to a syringe at the end of a spear etc etc. But before it started getting messed with by us it still acted wrong.

First off: It was jittery and trembling. Wobbly is too cutesy a word--it was just slightly too intense to be wobbly. The wobbles were more twitchy and jerking, like it was constantly having to catch its balance, or it was constantly trying to react to every single minutiae of stimuli. It was also completely silent and utterly unafraid of any of us. This is one of the big markers of rabies: It fucks with an animal's brain to the extent that its fear receptors essentially rot away, because the virus wants the animal to come into contact with as many other animals as possible, and it can't do that if it's skittish. A nonrabid skunk SHOULD be huddled up in the farthest reach of the carrier curled up and scared out of its goddamned mind for being alien-kidnapped. This one just kinda ambled or stood wherever.

So anyway, we start taking blood samples, and by we I mean my coworkers because I am super unqualified for any medical treatment whatsoever of any animal.

The second the needle stuck into the skunk it stopped being a skunk and started being something else. It began writhing and jerking inside the carrier like it was trying to rip its own muscles and limbs apart to get away or get out, and the whole time it was shrieking and squealing so hard and constant that even outside the station it was loud. I've heard animals dying from predators before, I've heard skunks dying from predators before, they didn't scream like this one did. It screamed like it didn't know how to use its vocal chords or mouth, all it knew was pure unthinking noise.

Again, I'm sorry, but I really don't know how to describe the experience very well. The problem is that rabies doesn't make animals act like how they're supposed to. A nonrabid dog going absolutely apeshit is still going to recognizably act like a dog, just an absolutely apeshit one. A rabid dog going absolutely apeshit does NOT act the same. It acts with complete disregard and unawareness of both its surroundings and its own body. It isn't a living creature anymore, it's a breeding ground of rabies that has completely taken control over the dog and is now puppeting it around with the single purpose of spreading rabies everywhere it can. There's no fear, there's no thought, and I barely agree with calling what rabid animals experience as "aggression" because aggression in animals is a thing which fundamentally acts through motivation of stimuli and reaction. Aggression happens because the animal cares about what happens to the animal. Rabid aggression has absolutely no shits given about what happens to its host. It's awful.

[rashoumon-homo]

Kinktober Day 31: Submissive and Breedable

Inspired by this post by iwamimimimi!

-> Prompts: Exhibitionism + Orgy

-> Ships: Shin Soukoku, Soukoku

-> Content Warnings: alcohol mention, omegaverse, alpha atsushi, omega akutagawa, beta dazai, alpha chuuya, mention of mpreg

-> 2.2k words

-> Click here to read it on AO3!

Author’s Note: hi everyone! I decided to post this final Kinktober work as a tumblr fic as well as on AO3. I hope you all enjoyed Kinktober this year and have a happy Halloween!

♡ ♡ ♡

In hindsight, Atsushi should have known something was up the second Dazai invited himself over. The first hint was obviously that he came to Akutagawa instead of them both— Akutagawa could never say no to his former mentor. If Atsushi had been there, he’d be at least a little more strong-willed and maybe would have had the guts to turn him away. But no. That evening the three of them sat in Atsushi and Akutagawa’s shared living room and proceeded to watch Dazai drink them out of house and home. 

“Dazai-san, is everything… alright?” Atsushi asked for the third time, discreetly moving the open bottle of whiskey to the other end of the table. 

“Fine, it’s all fine, just spending the evening with my two favorite guys,” Dazai said, slurring his words a bit. “Drink something, loosen up.” He pushed his cup towards them, ignoring the fact that it was their alcohol in their cup, which he had poured himself uninvited. 

Akutagawa immediately picked it up and downed the whole thing in a few gulps. Atsushi gave him a look. 

“Ryuu, how do you deal with it when Atsushi blows off your plans for work?” Dazai asked offhandedly. “I imagine you’d take it pretty hard.”

“I don’t blow him off,” Atsushi answered for him. “We plan our dates ahead of time and if something comes up, we both understand. What’s this about anyway?”

“Bah, you’re no fun,” Dazai pouted. “I suppose it’s different with a mated pair anyway.” He eyed the bite scar on Akutagawa’s neck with a twinge of what appeared to be jealousy. “Deeper connection and all that.”

“Chuuya still hasn’t made a move?” Atsushi asked. 

“He tried a couple times, when he was in rut and lost control. But the bites don’t stick as well on betas and they ended up healing.” 

Prime conditions for a mating bite were when the pair had a coinciding heat and rut, but it was a bit trickier with an alpha-beta pair, or so Atsushi had heard. He hadn’t bothered to look into it much, since he knew Akutagawa was the one for him anyway. 

Dazai took a swig from the bottle, which had somehow made its way back to him. “Got any plans to knock up Ryuu?” he asked bluntly. 

“Dazai!” Atsushi admonished, as Akutagawa turned pink. 

“What? You’ve been mated for a year now, it’s only natural people should wonder.” He took on a faux-innocent look. “Or is Akutagawa not a properly breedable omega?”

Atsushi seethed. “Dazai, don’t make me kick you out of our home,” he warned. 

Dazai put his hands up in defense. “No, no, I didn’t mean any offense by it!” he lied. “It’s an honest question– it’s not like I’ve seen the two of you going at it before, not fully at least, so maybe Ryuu isn’t submissive enough or something like that. These things are common.”

Akutagawa looked a little hurt, though he hid it well. 

“I assure you, that’s not the case,” Atsushi growled. 

“Ahh, I see. Perhaps the problem is you’re unable to form a knot, then.”

Atsushi balled his hands into fists and snarled. “What exactly are you getting at, Dazai?”

“Nothing! I have no agenda whatsoever. Although…” he took a swig from the bottle, “you’re always free to prove me wrong.”

Briefly, Atsushi thought Dazai might be hitting on him, but then it clicked and he burst out laughing. “We’re not going to fuck in front of you, Dazai,” he said. “I don’t care how horny or sad or drunk you are, it’s not happening.”

“Oh, is that what he wants?” Akutagawa asked, amused. “A mating display?”

“Yeah, and he’s got some gall asking for it, as an unmated beta. Dazai, just go home and watch porn or something.”

“That’s really not it!” Dazai insisted. “I’m genuinely concerned about your sexual health! As a friend!”

“Maybe he’s telling the truth,” Akutagawa offered.

“Come on, are you serious? You’ve known him even longer than I have, he’s obviously just looking for a show,” Atsushi said. 

“But would it really hurt to just prove it to him? He did insult my obedience and your sexual abilities, after all. Above that, he is our superior.”

“Yeah, at work. Right now, we’re at home and he’s way out of line.”

Akutagawa leaned over to whisper in Atsushi’s ear, “Remember that kink I was wanting to try out with you?”

Atsushi blushed. “With him?” he hissed back. 

Looking a little shy, Akutagawa nodded. 

It would be the perfect opportunity to try it out… and with how drunk Dazai was, it was likely he wouldn’t even remember it in the morning. Atsushi sighed. “Fine, we’ll play along,” he said to Dazai, who wasn’t even pretending to mind his own business. 

“Excellent! I’ll just be here making sure everything goes smoothly.” Dazai reclined in his seat with the bottle of alcohol. 

Atsushi rolled his eyes. “Better move the couch, I guess.” 

Rashoumon shot out from Akutagawa’s coat and wrapped around the couch facing Dazai’s chair, then lifted it and moved it to the corner of the room. He moved the coffee table as well, careful not to knock over any of the dishes on it in the process. 

Atsushi knelt on the ground and extended a hand to pull Akutagawa down next to him. Akutagawa joined him, pulling him into a slow and passionate kiss. He cupped Atsushi’s jaw, letting him take the lead on the pace. Atsushi threaded his fingers through Akutagawa’s hair, tugging slightly on it if he moved too fast. They adjusted their position so Atsushi was reclined against the ground and Akutagawa sat in his lap, making out with him. 

“Boring,” Dazai said from the chair. “When are you gonna get to fucking?” He palmed his erection over his pants as he spoke, having the audacity to pretend what they were already doing wasn’t affecting him. 

Atsushi broke the kiss to glare at Dazai. “It’s called foreplay, jackass. Makes sense you wouldn’t be familiar with it.”

Akutagawa took the opportunity to kiss down Atsushi’s neck, sucking purple and red hickeys down his path. He started to unbutton Atsushi’s shirt, pushing it over his shoulder as he went. 

Atsushi stroked Akutagawa’s hair with a pleased hum. “So good, Ryuu,” he murmured. 

Akutagawa smiled up at him. He got off Atsushi’s lap and sat to the side of it instead as he unbuckled Atsushi’s belt. 

There was a matching clinking of belt buckles across the room, where Dazai was undoing his own and shoving his hand down his pants. 

“Whore,” Atsushi mouthed at him. Dazai grinned back and licked his lips. 

Finally, Akutagawa tugged Atsushi’s pants open and pulled his cock out. It was much larger than average, and he knew it. Close to ten inches hard, and it wasn’t even fully there yet. Atsushi raised an eyebrow at Dazai, daring him to say something. 

Dazai wolf-whistled. “Impressive,” he murmured. “Almost as big as my Chuuya’s.”

Atsushi scoffed. He would have made some scathing remark, but his breath hitched instead as Akutagawa licked a stripe up his shaft. Akutagawa suckled on the head, tongue swirling around the tip as he looked up at Atsushi. 

“He can’t really take all of that, can he?” Dazai asked. 

“He can and he will,” Atsushi said triumphantly. “I’ve trained his throat. He has basically no gag reflex now.”

To prove it, Akutagawa began to bob his head, slowly easing his way down Atsushi’s length. Sure enough, his nose was nestled in Atsushi’s coarse white pubes before long. 

“Damn,” Dazai whispered, stroking himself in his pants. 

At that moment, the front door banged open, startling all of them. Chuuya stood there, looking absolutely livid. His gaze went from Dazai on the chair, hand still shoved in his pants, to Atsushi on the floor, balls deep in Akutagawa’s throat. 

“What the actual fuck is going on here?”

Akutagawa pulled off, choking only slightly in his haste. “Chuuya-san,” he said hoarsely. 

“Not you. Dazai, explain.”

“Well, you said you wouldn’t be able to meet up tonight because of work, so I made plans with Atsushi and Akutagawa instead. And I was worried about their sexual health, so they kindly offered to demonstrate for me.”

Chuuya stopped him with a firm shake of his head. “I said work might run an hour or two late and that you should eat dinner without me. And don’t lie to me, you obviously made them do this for your own entertainment. The fucking audacity you have, ordering around an alpha and his mate…” Chuuya took a deep breath to calm himself. “It’s fine, we’ll just have to give them a show in return.”

Dazai paled. “Wait, what?”

“You heard me. Get on the floor. Hands and knees.”

Dazai hesitated for only a second, then scrambled to obey. He got on his hands and knees on a clear patch of floor, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground. 

Chuuya slowly walked around him. “So obedient,” he praised. He put a foot on Dazai’s back and pressed down, forcing him to arch his spine. “Good. Keep the position.” He knelt on the ground behind Dazai and hooked his hands under Dazai’s waistband, then yanked his pants down. The glint of a silver butt plug nestled between his cheeks caught the light. 

“Goddamn, you’re more of a slut than I thought,” Chuuya laughed, tugging at it. “Needed something to keep you full when you couldn’t have my knot?”

“Yes,” Dazai said quietly.

“Hm?” Chuuya twisted the plug. 

“Yes, sir,” Dazai corrected himself. 

“Good.” Chuuya pulled the plug out and dropped it on the floor. “Now ask for my cock. Nice and polite, like I trained you to.”

Dazai bit his tongue. He glanced over at Atsushi and Akutagawa, who were watching in wide-eyed amazement. This was humiliating, but it turned him on like nothing else. 

“Don’t look at them. Eyes down, and ask.” Chuuya ordered. 

Dazai looked back at the carpet. “Please fuck me. I want you to knot me and stuff me full of cum. Use me until you’re satisfied. Please, sir.”

“Very good. See, you do know how to beg like a good boy,” Chuuya said. He undid his belt and pushed his pants down. 

Atsushi’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. Dazai wasn’t joking– Chuuya was about as big as he was. The beginning of a knot was starting to swell at the base of his dick. Clearly, he was just as turned on as the rest of them were. 

Chuuya grabbed Dazai’s hips and dragged him backwards to meet him. Since Dazai’s hands stayed on the ground where they were, his body was stretched out like a cat’s. Chuuya pushed the head of his cock against Dazai’s puffy rim. “Time to show your friends how submissive you really are,” he said, then thrust in. 

Dazai threw his head back with a moan. 

“So noisy,” Chuuya said, huffing with each rough thrust. “You like that? Like being used?”

Atsushi didn’t notice how hard he’d gotten until Akutagawa started to gently stroke him. He moaned softly and reclined back onto his forearms. Akutagawa looked up at him for approval, then eased his cock back into his mouth. Atsushi watched Chuuya fuck Dazai while getting his dick sucked, and he felt like he was fucking ascending. This was hotter than any porn he’d ever seen. 

“Ryuu,” he moaned quietly. He couldn’t help bucking his hips up into the warm, wet heat of Akutagawa’s throat. Akutagawa hummed softly, just how he knew Atsushi liked it. 

“Take it, you slut,” Chuuya said, with a sharp slap to Dazai’s ass. Dazai cried out and immediately came, leaking cum onto the carpet and the front of his pants. 

Atsushi felt his knot starting to inflate, so he tugged on Akutagawa’s hair. “Careful,” he whispered between grunts. 

The contrast between the way the two couples fucked was almost humorous– the rough, wild sex Dazai and Chuuya were having compared to the way Atsushi treated Akutagawa with tenderness and love as he sucked his dick. 

“Gonna cum,” Atsushi murmured. He moved his hand, giving Akutagawa a chance to decide whether to pull off or swallow. Akutagawa stayed on as Atsushi came, swallowing around his cock with each spurt of cum. 

When Atsushi finally finished (he was an alpha, after all, so it took longer than most), Akutagawa pulled off and wiped his mouth. “Shall we take this to the bedroom?” he asked. 

Atsushi glanced over at Chuuya and Dazai, who were still going at it. “Yeah,” he said with a smile. “I wanna take my time with you. Show you how much I really love you. As hot as this is, it’s distracting me from what I really want to focus on.” He caressed Akutagawa’s cheek. 

The two got up quietly, so as not to interrupt the others– though at this point, a bomb going off couldn’t stop them. 

“You do realize Dazai was totally projecting when he was insulting you earlier, right?” Atsushi asked, tugging Akutagawa to the bedroom. 

“Absolutely,” Akutagawa said with a rare smile. He kissed Atsushi on the cheek as they slipped into the bedroom and closed the door.

♡ ♡ ♡

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[destinygoldenstar]

I Analyzed The Ninjago Movie Instead Of Sleeping

I have real mixed feelings on this movie. But not for the reasons you might think from a fan of the TV show.

The movie didn’t NEED to be connected to the show. And it clearly wasn’t trying to.

It was meant to be an AU in a way.

(If you look at the behind the scenes one of their original rewrites was a plot of them going back in time to save Lloyd’s dad from becoming the villainous figure he is in the present day.)

So I can forgive the inaccuracy so long as it could stand on its own as a proper story.

It doesn’t do that.

If you DON’T compare it to the show:

You got a movie with SOME good jokes, amazing animation, (SERIOUSLY THIS MOVIE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL AND VISUALS ALONE ARE A CHEFS KISS TO ME) but is so strangely paced that it feels like the movie starts at the middle of the story and never shows the beginning, and feels like a completely different movie halfway through, and is also very choppily edited.

(I even double checked a clip of the movie just to prove my point there: When Lloyd uses all his dragon mech weapons on Garmadon, they play the exact same sound effect and explosion, just with different angles, SIX TIMES. FSM WAS THAT EDITOR HUNG OVER WHEN DOING THEIR JOB THAT DAY?! And that’s just one example I’ve got. I think this was the first time EVER when I was in a movie theater and I distinctly remember asking “What is wrong with the editing here? Who thought this was good editing?? Who thought this was appropriate in any way???” So I thank this movie for giving me such a memory and making me value good editing.)

You also got a world that isn’t very well fleshed out, characters that the movie chooses to not focus on except the main character and the main villain. And you got a movie that tells its audience it’s okay to forgive your parents that neglected you and are active terrorists even if they earned or done absolutely no redemption whatsoever.

I mean Garmadon in this movie BETRAYS them and leaves them to rot so he could terrorize the city again at the end. Then gets eaten by the cat. Then Lloyd forgives him. Idk what more you want me to say.

I’m not gonna act like Crystalized did it any better though. Pick your poison.

But then you got fans of the show. The people who watched the show since kids (that includes me). Who are naturally bias towards the shows lore and characterization…

OOOOOOHHH boy…

I don’t hate EVERY portrayal of the ninja in the movie as much as other people. I actually think there’s some good ideas for an AU version of these characters here. Problem is the movie never does anything with them.

Well, I say I don’t hate every portrayal, the one I truly cannot stand is Zane’s.

There’s just so much wrong with how they portrayed Zane that it just does not work. Not as an adaptation of the character. Not in any way that makes sense for this universe and is actually kinda insulting.

There’s no other robots in this city. (Like there are in the show) Why is Zane the only one and why is he in high school? Why would Wu ever pick a robot to be a ninja?

In the show the reason is pretty simple: Wu didn’t know at the time.

But everyone knows in the movie. What’s movie Wu’s excuse?

There’s also in terms of personality.

Keep in mind later seasons of the show have the same issues, so I’m talking about what it was at the time of the movie.

Zane’s whole robot identity is crucial to his character. The show introduced him as ‘the strange one’. As he couldn’t understand social cues, took things very seriously, didn’t share the same sense of humor as the rest of the team, had a hard time displaying his emotions, and bonded with things the others didn’t and excelled at certain areas like cooking.

He’s a character that connected to a lot of neurodivergent people in the audience who could relate to him. No he’s not intentional autistic rep, but one that definitely mattered to the people that headcannoned him as such.

(Also helps that they introduce other robot characters later that clearly don’t have the same characteristics he does. So really it depends on what you see.)

So the reveal that he was a robot was such a huge deal to not just the plot but to him as he finally got a concrete definition of what he is and who he is. And the show NEVER decides to say “You know, it would be so much better if you were a human!”

“Why can’t you just be normal?!”

That’s part of why I personally can’t stand fics that make Zane human. It just doesn’t feel right to me and misses the point of the character.

While I absolutely did not expect the movie to cover his… really heavy backstory with his inventor/father and how he outlived him, then got his memory and sense of identity wiped by him moments before death, which was meant to be an act of sympathy but would actually harm Zane’s mentality for the entire show…

The movie didn’t need to adapt that. For all we know, movie Zane could have a very happy backstory. And that would be fine. All I wanted was for the identity-seeking aspect of Zane’s character to matter in some way.

It didn’t.

The jokes they use for Zane in this movie are that of “Haha, he’s a robot. Isn’t it so funny that he doesn’t understand humanity very well?”

You know, something that in one episode of the show was portrayed as a BAD THING for people to think that of him! And that those people needed to learn to respect him for who he is!

And that’s the ONLY thing they do with him. Just robot jokes. Very stereotypical robot jokes.

Again, later seasons of the show are guilty of this too. So I will not act like the show is perfect.

For the reasons I listed, these are actually far more offensive and harmful than you think. Especially fans of the show watching the movie. Him being the only robot in this movie world makes me think even more that this actually is autistic coding… and that makes it so much worse.

Zane being a robot being equal to autism is its own discussion. And has its own problems on paper alone. Whether or not this is your headcanon of him, and whether or not you think this is good representation either way is up to your feelings and experiences. (Personally I think it’s better than some live action shows attempting this)

The others don’t even seem to trust or want to be around him that much. The others seem annoyed by him half the time. Like they’re only tolerating him because he’s on their team. Yeah they don’t say that but simple looks and gestures are enough to get that impression. And not once does anyone ever express Zane’s value in their team. That’s the ONE thing that would’ve had me forgive this all.

But there’s my rant. The others?

Jay is mostly fine. I think this personality for the movie is a neat AU concept. Yes show Jay is openly terrified of things and awkward, but if there’s something he wasn’t was SHY.

Movie Jay is a shy and nervous wreck. And you know what? For a high school AU, I think it works. It doesn’t erase Jay’s essence entirely. They at the very least kept the detail of his character that he’s a fast learner.

I appreciate that.

Cole is actually a REALLY interesting concept to me with the AU idea they gave.

On the surface it’s just ‘He’s a DJ and willingly old school’

But if you see the show, this is actually an ODD approach. Because show Cole has a very complicated relationship with music.

In the show, Cole’s parents thrived in singing and dancing. His father specifically was a performer that won several awards with his band ‘The Royal Blacksmiths’. After Cole’s mother passed away, his father proceeded to push his ideals and his passions onto his kid and pressuring him to become another version of him. It got stressful enough that Cole ran away from home and resented music, something that used to be a bond of family for them, and that’s where Wu found him and made him a ninja.

Throughout the show, Cole would open up to music again more, but it’s pretty gradual and a very subtle bit of character development for him throughout the show. He doesn’t need to say “I hate making music” to get the point across. He only starts the music route again whenever it has something to do with making a family member, blood or not, happy.

So movie Cole is interesting to me for that reason. Because at the start, he basically IS a mini Lou. His whole thing is music and it’s heavily reflected on his personality.

To the point where his element in the movie isn’t even animated or portrayed as earth like it’s supposed to, instead it’s… sound waves?

Weird choice. Interesting one though cause maybe that’s just how movie Cole functions.

So it’s “Oh, what if Cole DID follow in his fathers footsteps and DID want to become a musician?”

Very interesting approach for a completely different approach of character development.

But the problem? Just like the others, not utilized.

But I do think this was an interesting AU idea. Is it accurate to the show version of the character? No. But that’s kind of the point I think.

Then there’s the RGB siblings. This is where it gets kinda weird for me.

Thanks to the movie, a lot of my friends mistook Kai and Nya for being twins.

They are not twins in the show. Kai is older.

I don’t think that dents their characters too much in the movie so long as the same points were across. They’re the blood related brother and sister who raised themselves when their parents abandoned them, and climbed out of the ashes to protect each other, and found a new expansion on their family that didn’t have to be blood related to count.

These two, in different ways, are the support of the team and especially Lloyd. They’re usually the lancer characters that Lloyd goes to when he can.

I still say that about Nya even though originally, she was NOT a ninja, but rather was a Samurai with a mech of her own invention that acted as a Tuxedo Mask for the ninja. She didn’t become the water ninja until Season 5.

Which… I know the movie takes heavy inspiration from the first two seasons, the beginning, so for those who haven’t seen the show watching the movie… yikes I feel bad about the lack of a spoiler warning. Same goes for Zane being a robot.

But I think that’s also a factor into Kai, at the former half of this show, (again I’m talking pre-movie with this). He was the first character we were introduced to and we’re following in the show before Lloyd ever showed up. So naturally he’d be the one with the most attention to supporting the Green Ninja. Something that was very vital character development for him individually as well.

He’s the old school one. He’s the cool one. He’s the one who looks out for you even if you don’t want them to. He’s the one that will jump to anything without thinking. He’s also the one with the most value in tradition out of the ninja, as a blacksmith instead of a techie and as a traditional sword fighter rather than a fancy complicated weapon. He doesn’t get involved in tech willingly till he learns Twitter is a thing.

And in the movie, I think they took this characterization and said “Eh, give it to the girl instead.”

So most of show Kai’s character traits are now movie Nya’s. She’s the cool one with the most passion for traditional stories, she’s the one with arguably the most talks with Lloyd to calm him, and she’s pretty loud and brash in personality.

Not saying show Nya is not those things, she is. But the difference in the show was that Nya was HUGE on independence and doing her own thing. Being the only woman and a younger sibling in the main cast is actually a big deal to her. Not wanting to have her destiny be decided by the world or her brother as a damsel in distress or a sacrifice, she took to tech to invent her own ways of helping. Her own character.

Until destiny told her “Actually no, you can’t be the person you want to be. You have to stick to tradition that your mother had and be the water ninja.”

That’s… honestly a very brutally honest message that not a lot of people I see give credit for. Cause yes, expressing yourself and being your own person and being able to make your own fate is amazing… but it’s not always possible.

Sometimes you can’t be the person you want. Sometimes the world just will not let you. That doesn’t mean your identity is worthless, though. If you go with the flow, you can actually find that fate has plans for you that might not suck after all.

Basically a ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ messaging there.

It’s part of why Nya’s whole thing throughout the show is her starting as a damsel trying to reinvent herself and her stereotype, and ending as a willing sacrifice and death of her whole identity that she doesn’t regret because she’s embraced the flow of life and purpose. Even if she forgets herself in the realm of spirituality, her loves one’s never will.

…Until Crystalized undid ALL of that. BUT LETS NOT.

Movie Nya just really isn’t any of that. She’s basically just her brother.

Which… I’m actually fine with. The show has some bumps in the road in execution of her story anyway. And they want the only female of this team to not be a background character cause that’s look bad. I totally understand that. And her being a sibling to Kai makes me forgive it a whole lot more cause it does make sense.

But again, we don’t know what their lives are like or if they have similar backstories to theirs in the show at all.

But where does that leave Kai?

Well his whole character in the movie seems to basically be “I’m the loud one and a complete klutz and meathead.”

Basically TD Tyler.

It’s a personality in the movie that bled in the show post movie. While I personally think it was not THAT bad in the show, Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitsu made me go “Okay. I understand now.”

As for movie Kai, that’s really about it.

It really was an early indicator of just giving Kai’s character traits to other characters. Before the show was visibly doing it.

Cause movie Lloyd is also basically just Kai but with a different backstory and context to situation. But honestly, I DO see what they were going for here.

As the ONLY ninja to get ANY focus, this version of Lloyd is well explained on what his life is.

In the show, he’s an abandoned child in an abusive boarding school who heavily idolizes his father, Lord Garmadon, and runs away to become a super villain. Only for Destiny to tell him not to, and we see his true colors and that he just wanted his family together and to love him. Something that was… hard. Considering who Garmadon is.

That is actually carried into the movie. Just cut out him running away. Here’s the difference.

Show Lloyd loves his dad and refuses to hurt him until he has to. While he is the Green Ninja, he didn’t resent himself being Garmadon’s son. What he resented was the destiny that took them apart.

Movie Lloyd HATES his dad for abandoning him, terrorizing the city, making said city cancel him for EXISTING, and he wants every excuse to shut this man out of his life forever.

That does make sense. And to the movie’s credit, the movie logic DOES work to make this version of Lloyd make sense.

It makes the movie pretty mean spirited and kinda unpleasant at times. But it works for the story.

I described Lloyd as ‘The Emo Child’. In the show. But that’s two words.

Emo. CHILD.

He’s still a kid. He’s still the youngest. He still has his own child-like wonder of the world and the aspirations that of a child would.

Yeah he’s a lot of angst. But he’s also a sweet kid who deserves hugs.

That’s not very apparent in movie Lloyd. Not that it needs to fit movie context.

But because we never see how the ninja in the movie got together, we have no idea why Lloyd even accepted being the Green Ninja in the first place. He even says in the movie that he’d give it up if it meant he didn’t have to be Garmadon’s son.

Movie Lloyd is the only ninja in this movie with an actual character arc. He resents his dad, tries to be rid of him, only to get consequences for it, goes on a quest to fix his mistake, bonds with his dad to learn he’s… sympathetic? I guess?? And in the end forgives his dad and chooses to let him in his life again.

Simple. Fine. It works on Lloyds end just fine. And I have to give credit for the movie making Lloyd resenting Garmadon more logical than Crystalized ever did.

It’s Garmadon’s end that just makes the whole thing a bad message in the end of ‘forgive your abusers.’

Yes he’s funny. That doesn’t undo his actions.

No it’s not undone in the show either, but at least you can buy the forgiveness there because every character knew that he had no choice.

In the show, Garmadon is the Oni Child of the FSM. Thus all it took was for another Oni creature, the Great Devourer, to trigger his blood and FORCE him into the evil role without his consent. It forced him to do nasty things to his loved ones and the land his dad created, and by the time he became his evil form, he was forcefully stripped away from all of his loved ones and a chance at normal life. So the only way he could ever get that back was to turn the world into his own image, thus having the world become him too. A monster.

The show made it abundantly clear that most of Garmadon’s evil deeds are either out of ambition for what he deems as helping the family, or not his fault at all due to snake venom influence.

I THINK the movie also has this because they do address him getting bit and becoming the creature he appears as in both versions.

Better than nothing I guess.

But then you get his ‘sympathetic backstory’ which is pretty much just a love story between him and Koko-

Yeah Lloyds moms name is actually different in both versions. And in role.

Misako abandoned her child to try and solve the destiny crisis, then returned to his life to help her kid out.

Koko remained a mother to her kid and supported him even when everyone hated him.

These are very different characters basically, and which one you prefer is up to you. Personally… I actually prefer the movie. I do think the mom was the one character that the movie actually improved upon. Especially with a very interesting story for her.

In the show, Misako is a researcher and just the fair maiden figure that Wu and Garmadon fell in love with. To which she chose Garmadon because of Wu’s letter that Garmadon forged his name on… it’s complicated.

In the movie, she was actually a fighter as well and took a part of the wars Garmadon was in. She enjoyed the thrill of the fight and fell in love with her opponent in a pretty cute montage.

But then they had a baby and her reality changed, realizing she could not raise her child on the battlefield. And when Garmadon refused to change his mind, she took Lloyd and left him behind. So she could be a mother.

Explains her actions in the movie all throughout very well and I never got lost when it came to her. She’s probably the one character in the movie I felt the most sorry for. She’s such a sweet parent and her interactions with Lloyd are probably the best parts of the movie. I wanna hug her.

But that’s all that’s shown of Garmadon. Apparently Garmadon was oppressed, but that’s told at the end and not shown or been significant at all.

They don’t hate you cause you look funky. They hate you cause YOU TERRORIZE THEIR CITY ON A DAILY BASIS AND SHOOT PEOPLE OUT OF A VOLCANO

Yeah show Garmadon did similar stuff, but again, WASNT HIS CHOICE.

Here, it’s absolutely his choice cause nothing indicated otherwise.

Garmadon doesn’t even PROCESS his kids existence or his own negligence three quarters of the time. And you expect me to buy a redemption from him?

You know, I’d be fine with it if he was just a one dimensional villain and the story of the movie was about Lloyd putting his energy away from a family that doesn’t care about him and more towards a surrogate one he has.

But no. You gotta have Lloyd forgive Garmadon and have Garmadon redeemed.

Cause that’s what the show did.

Even though this is supposed to be an AU not connected to the show so we can do whatever we want.

The most they do for Garmadon’s redemption is force him to be the mentor after Wu got yeeted off a bridge by a butterfly, have him go “Oh yeah, I DID shoot people out of a volcano!”, teach his son how to catch, and tell his son his backstory.

(Speaking if, Wu to me is basically the same. Just different voice actor delivery. I got nothing to say on him)

And then if that IS redemption, then he failed it. Because he offers Lloyd to be his general when they take over the city again, showing he’s learned nothing. Then when Lloyd says no, he steals their magic weapons and ditches them in a temple leaving them to DIE. Then he goes to terrorize the city again.

What redemption. /s

Again, this was all HIS choice. If it was not and if it was snake venom, they couldn’t at least give a visual cue or address it?

And now LLOYD has to apologize?

NO. LLOYD WAS RIGHT. THERES ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHY HE SHOULD LET HIS DAD INTO HIS LIFE. THE DAD HIMSELF PROVED THAT.

It just paints an unintentional bad message of ‘you have to forgive your abusers’

I’m sorry but Lloyd doesn’t owe this Garmadon anything.

I do like Lloyd’s VA delivery though, and the speech about green being the color of life. I actually like the idea of Lloyds power being his heart. Yeah it’s not flashy powers like in the show, but for an AU, it’s a really cool idea and I wish they used it more.

I have mixed feelings on the celebrity casting. Did I expect the original voice actors? No. But this casting wasn’t awful.

Garmadon’s VA is amazing in this movie. Jackie Chan as Wu is very subjective I feel, love it or hate it. Nya and Jay’s were really good too. I think the only one that didn’t work for me was Kai’s VA. Just… why does this teenager sound like a 50 year old man??

But honestly, I think the thing that got to me the most about the movie was something I praised about the show not too long ago.

The bond between the ninja.

I talked about how the show is a master class at character dynamics. There is almost no point where the characters are just standing there in one big clunk. Someone is saying something, someone is making a comment, someone is doing something, and it’s usually there for others to see and react to. It’s a very small thing, but it keeps the scenes alive and fresh the whole time and helps the audience be sold on the characters bond.

They don’t wait for the scenes of “Okay it’s time for characters to interact”. They just do it all the time.

And guess what the movie did? They’re just there in one big chunk all the time. With “okay it’s time for characters to interact” bits.

It’s one thing to not explore the other ninja at all. It’s another to ignore their bond.

In the show, they’re a found family. They all had rough upbringings in life and find a new sense of purpose in each other.

That’s NEVER emphasized in the movie except for one speech at the end Lloyd makes. Mostly cause we don’t know the other ninjas lives, and we don’t know how they even got together. Cause as I said, the movie starts at the middle, and awkwardly cuts after Garmadon is forgiven to be the end. We don’t know what it is about THIS ninja team that we should care about. It’s not shown.

All were shown is them being a team by circumstance only. Then Lloyd pulls out the cat laser and the cat nearly kills them. Then they hate Lloyd for it and spend the rest of the movie making fun of Lloyd.

Which yeah they make fun of each other in the show too, but where it ended in the show was playful teasing in the middle of moments that showed they cared about each other. And when one bond between two or more of them was broken, you felt it.

Here? I don’t know that and there isn’t anything besides the high school montage to show they cared. Just some comments about “Oh it’s okay Lloyd, it’s just awkward that your dad is a terrorist”. And then they make fun of Lloyds expense.

It’s mean spirited. It makes me think they don’t like each other. And it’s not like they ever apologize for it. They’re just teammates because Wu said so. They’re just tolerating Lloyd cause Wu said so.

Honestly the bloopers for this movie show more personality and more of this bond than the entire movie does.

…OOF that took awhile. I don’t even know why I did this, I just didn’t feel like sleeping. Uh… you read this, congrats. Idk why you did.

[bethelighthalazia]

I was scared!

Summary:  You and Jongho were a couple for almost a year, you visited a concert of his, standing in barricade spots. Noone could have imagined that you suddenly can't be found in the crowd anymore, which had suddenly started to push each other slightly. Completely written from Jongho´s point of view.

Pairing: bf!Jongho x fem!reader, established relationship

Word Count:  1233

Warnings: angsty (?), mentioned panic attack/anxiety, mentioned crowded place, description of fear (?), fluff in the end

[note: it´s not very long, but i had fun writing it from Jongho´s point of view. RE-UPLOAD from my old blog @/justsomedreaming]

© by bethelighthalazia. Do not repost, copy or translate. Unless stated otherwise, those works are mine and born from my own ideas. I don't have any claim on the mentioned real existing Idols whatsoever.

Y/n. She has been the light of my life for almost a year now. The both of us met during a fansign, I just fell in love with her that day and soon we had started dating. Even though it was hard at first with keeping it hidden, I soon decided to make it public. I didn't want to hide my feelings for her, nor how happy y/n made me. Hongjoong and the other hyungs were very supportive and welcomed y/n into our lives. She finished her fashion master's degree only shortly before we started dating and soon, Hongjoong hyung helped her with getting a job in our stylist team, mainly responsible for the outfits. That way, she was able to stay close with us. 

This time though, she wanted to see our performance from ATINY's view once again, so I made sure to get her a VIP ticket and backstage pass. We once customized a Lightiny for each other, which she took with her when we arrived at the location and she had to find her spot in the audience area. 

The moment we stepped out on stage, I found her gaze, never truly letting her out of sight, not only because I couldn't resist looking at my beautiful girlfriend, but also to check on her. I knew she struggles with crowded places and it was very clear to us that the host didn't meet all safety measures fully. The audience was squished into the rather tight space, I could see y/n slowly struggling and losing her calm expression. Even her eyes told me that she was terrified of all the people pushing and squeezing against each other. For a moment, only a few seconds, I looked at our captain to see his reaction to the situation, he had stopped the last performance to assess the problem. When I looked back to where y/n was standing, my heart stopped.

She wasn't there anymore. All of a sudden, I couldn't find y/n’s beautiful face anywhere in the crowd. Hongjoong hyung actually started to tell people to stop pushing into the areas, Mingi hyung told the security to open side gates, so the fans could get out safely since we finished the last song. The host really didn't plan it well and the hyungs were furious. But I couldn't focus on anything, a stinging pain in my chest when worry took over. What if y/n got hurt or was having a panic attack and I wasn't there for her? 

I didn't even realize that my body had moved until a hand around my upper arm stopped me from climbing down the stage to find her.

“Jongho, you can't.” It was Seonghwa hyung’s voice, and even though I knew he was right, I pulled against his grip. Only when another set of hands helped him to hold me back, they managed to navigate me from the stage and out of the building through one of the backstage doors. When the cold air hit me, I just dropped onto the stairs, a dry sob escaping me. “Sh- she was in the crowd there…y/n was- I didn't see her anymore-” 

My voice cracked, an icy feeling wrapped around my heart, my chest felt as if something coiled around it and squeezed all air out of my lungs. My hand was still clinging to my microphone, the little lucky charm that y/n made for me dangling from its end. I know that my eyes were aimlessly glancing around, it all felt like a blur of my vision, not able to make out a real thought aside of my worry for y/n. Well, that is until I noticed the Lightiny in the corner of my eyes. Y/n’s Lightiny. Holding my breath, I turned my head just a bit, another dry sob squeezed out between my lips when I saw that it was San holding it. He must have been standing with me all the time, because I could hear him thank someone for bringing it out to us and asking them to keep searching.

When he heard the sound I made, he sat down beside me, resting his empty hand on my shoulder, I could feel it squeeze comfortably. “Y/m, is she-” I whispered, my voice cracking once again, tears starting to sting in my eyes when San just shook his head. “Not yet. They found it with her stuff near one of the backstage doors. We hope that she slipped out and just hid backstage to calm down.” 

His words just increased my worries. What if she got pushed and got hurt physically? Did she maybe stumble and hit her head or worse? A quiet cracking sound got to my ears, but I didn't pay attention, only thinking about her. That is, until San's hand pried my hand open to release my microphone from it, I squeezed it hard enough to break it. I didn't even notice that a little piece of it had cut into my palm.

“Found y/n.” 

It was only quietly that I heard these words, my vision blurry as I stood up, almost knocking over San who was supporting me, because I must have swayed a little, when standing up, I got slightly dizzy from the sudden change of position. “T- they found her?” My voice still hoarse, I moved automatically, blinking quickly when I walked inside into the darker surroundings and out of the sunlight. San walked directly behind me, I could feel his hand on my back from time to time but when I saw her, I stopped. Seonghwa had his outfit jacket around her shoulders, speaking calmly at her. “Y/n…” 

She must've heard my voice, because y/n looked up and her eyes widened as she suddenly ran towards me. Her arms wrapping around my middle, I stumbled slightly backwards, falling onto my butt, pulling her with me. My own arms wrapped around her, I made sure to keep her on top of me, so she wouldn't possibly get hurt. I couldn't stop myself from hiding my face against her neck, just holding her close for now.

“Y/n…I- I was so scared-”

My voice cracked once again and I could feel her body being shaken by sobs, my hyungs just staring at me for what I had said. They never really witnessed me being scared, so this was a first for them. Behind us, I could hear Seonghwa telling San in a whispering voice, that they had found y/n in our backstage room where we had prepared, hiding under one of my coats that I wore on our way here. This actually let me chuckle a bit in between my own quiet sobs, of course she hid in the most obvious spot and yet no one found her for a while.

This day truly showed me what fear feels like, especially the fear of possibly losing the person who makes me whole. I had been so scared she could have gotten hurt or anything, that everything only felt like a blur for me. When I looked at her, I couldn't help but take her face in both my hands to kiss her, the first time I did so in front of anyone, but I didn't care. I was just so relieved that she was alright. 

taglist: @mingis-mizu, @tinyelfperson

(if you want to be added to a taglist, follow the taglist-link in my pinned post)

[mrschristensen]

Kinktober Day 18 (10/18): Sex Toys starring Luke Ryder

Kinktober Masterlist

WARNINGS: smut (READ AT YOUR OWN RISK), female s/o, dom Luke/sub s/o, sex toys (vibrator and butt plug), bondage (using handcuffs), degradation/dirty talk, pet names/name calling (slut), edging, mention of orgasm denial, lmk if I missed any!

synopsis: After a stressful day being a news reporter, Luke comes home to rewind. There, he indulges in his favorite pastime; fucking his girl.

-> note: This is a world where the monsters and the whole apocalypse thing never happened (or you can imagine it before/after but without him dying). Also, I had to do this prompt with Luke, 'cause... WE ALL KNOW HE'S A FREAK (literally confirmed in the movie)

WC: 541 words

Luke hastily yet sloppily takes off the majority of the clothes he wore to work today, besides his shirt and pants, obviously. He was absolutely done with the day; and the fact he had to wait even longer for his girlfriend to get home, since he left early, was even more torturous.

He groaned, flopping onto the couch and burying his face in a pillow. His brain throbbed, overstimulated from the day's events, and he felt like just taking a nap until she came home. Yeah, that sounded like a pretty good idea right about now.

But then he heard the door close, and walking in came his beautiful lover, brows downturned yet furrowed slightly in concern and worry as she sees him. She makes her way over to him, feeling his forehead. "You okay, baby?" she asks ever so gently. "As soon as I saw your text that you were leaving early, I just... I had to leave work too. I couldn't help but think something was wrong..."

"No, I'm okay," he dismissed in a mumble, sitting up and smiling a bit at how much she was genuinely concerned for him. He pulled her onto his lap, kissing her gently. "'M just... in need of a break, I think."

"Yeah?" she questions, wrapping her arms around his neck instinctively. He smirked, and pulled her into another kiss, one more passionate this time. His tongue fought for dominance against hers, quite quickly winning the short-lived battle.

And soon they were on the bed, her hands cuffed to the headrest, unable to move them whatsoever. The vibrator on her clit teasingly buzzed on the lowest setting, and the shiny butt plug he inserted into her ass definitely wasn't helping either. It had its own separate set of vibrations, but he didn't even care to turn it on, just letting her feel the damn thing. How much was he going to tease her, she had no idea. But it made her body tingle with anticipation.

"You're such a slut for me," he coos, leaning in and kissing her neck, "I fuckin' love it."

After a while he turned up the vibrator, but only just a little. He also turned on the butt plug, but it was on its lowest setting like the vibrator previously was. It was torture after torture, edging her and bringing her close to the edge before denying it again.

But finally, after what seemed like hours, three words escaped his lips as he put both on the highest setting: "Cum for me."

And she did just that, whimpering loudly as her desperately awaited orgasm hit her like a tidal wave. It came over her hard and fast, riding the waves of her orgasm by basically humping the vibrator that still resided in his hands. He watched, soaking in the sight to its fullest, and helping her ride the waves of pleasure until she couldn't anymore.

"You like these toys better than me?" he asks her, to which she quickly shakes her head no. He smirked, chuckling. "I think otherwise..."

He turned the vibrator on again, on a higher setting. "Well... You're jus' gonna have to give me as many orgasms as I want 'til I decide you deserve me."

[galaxywarp]

I wanna take a sec and talk about something that means a lot to me

How do i put this….The part of my brain that is capable of having new experiences seems to finally be coming back online lately.

When i started using hard drugs in college, I….stagnated, as a person, in a lot of ways. I stopped listening to new music. I stopped watching new things. I stopped playing new video games. Any kind of change whatsoever, even a change in my playlist, became terrifying and impossible

For pretty much all of my early 20s i watched the same >5 shows on repeat all day and listened to the same songs and locked myself off from wanting anything new to come near me

When I found my old iPod touch from when i was a teenager i noticed my entire library had barely gained 80-ish songs in all the years that had went by

When i finally became aware of myself doing this i was embarrassed, but i didn’t really know how to fix it. Or rather, more accurately, I didn’t have the energy or willingness to do anything about it

But the last few months, as I approach one year clean, I’ve been trying so, so hard to get myself to do new things

And….its kind of working?

I’ve played a bunch of games that I bought in 2017 but never touched. I even finished a few of them! I listened to a few entirely new albums start to finish and fell in love with some songs and disliked others and heard so many new sounds

I tried painting for the first time. I started doodling a tiny bit again in a notebook that I hadn’t unwrapped from when it was gifted to me 3 years ago.

Ive looked up “cool parks near me” and picked out some ones Ive never even heard of to visit

I challenge myself sometimes to let myself drive in a new direction and forget the GPS for awhile and just be present

And it’s getting a little easier. It’s going so so slowly, but it’s going,

and when I finished playing this cute little indie game I’ve been wanting to play since I was 17 years old tonight, thinking about that made me really happy