#i do like people though
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The thing nobody warns you about with autism is how lonely it can feel sometimes. Even among other autistic people, because the spectrum manifests so broadly.
And yet, I'm wishing the best for everyone like me out there anyway.
#autism#chatter#it's a bit melancholy and maudlin but I'm coming to realise how alienating it can be#there are joys though#but the sadness is true too#no less real even if we're told we're so cool and special and interesting online#the world still just isn't quite ours#sometimes though i wonder if i really am autistic cause i don't feel like anyone#like i feel like me#but the idea of me isn't like other people#strange thoughts right?#i do like people though#I'd like to be like them sometime
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)
anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#calling dibs on skeleton kisses as the name of my band#man scully is just a delightful little weirdo and i'm enjoying him immensely#(i'm going with scully until we get something official just because it makes me think of x-files)#(スカリー is also how the agent's name is transliterated and i don't know if it was intentional but i love it as a bonus reference)#(i want to believe™)#gosh though#'no one at school likes me because i won't shut up about halloween and jack skellington' i'm feeling VERY attacked right now twst#look scully your people are out there#just get on the forums and -- oh wait you're probably from like the 1800s or something#(my theory is that he's from the past and there's just some Book Magic going on to bring us together)#(LOOK they made a point of saying that the book fair has been held annually for a super long time)#a hot topic goth born before hot topic was invented...so sad 😔#i dunno i could be wrong but that feels like a good working theory for now#if it wasn't for mal sensing twsty ~magic~ on him i would think he's like. a christmas elf who's going to kidnap jack in a reverse-nmbc#(not ruling that out though because it would be amazing)#god all the sprites in this event look AMAZING. loving the desaturated colors and the extra drawn-on lines 😍#i'm genuinely kinda sad that we aren't gonna get to see every character like this#who knows...maybe halloweentown will be imperiled again next year...#come back and destroy my keys again please#(that said i'm doing weirdly well so far?)#(i promised i'd save for sebek and just do cursory pulls to get the SRs and not hope for the SSRs)#(...but then leona jumpscared me four coffins in anyway. halloween magic is REAL)
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"Always got your back." "No matter what."
Transformers One (2024)
#orion pax#d 16#optimus prime#megatron#megop#transformers#transformers one#cutest part of this whole fucking movie#they make me sick!!#I do think it's interesting that is probably the only time he does something nice for D with no ulterior motives#Like Orion loves D but hes also a huge asshole to him though not entirely on purpose all the time#he's just a big dumb stupid nerd who forgets other people have opinions idk </3#john-irving gifs
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learning moment (part 1)
early access + nsfw on patreon monster!AU masterpost
more explanation under the cut
I think that so far, Soap has clearly demonstrated himself to be the more emotionally intelligent one of the pair, but it doesn't mean he doesn't still get frustrated at times. He's also just an emotional guy, and is working himself up a bit. This is a difficult topic for him to want to remain calm over, and there's a lot of factors contributing to his reaction.
One big factor is that he is a werewolf and he sees things through the eyes of his human side and wolf side. The shades of grey that Ghost sees in the Mexico operation just isn't there for Soap - to him, Ghost's 'pack' was under attack and he successfully defended it (this 'pack instinct' is something he shares with Price). The fact that his wolf now considers Ghost his in some way also contributes to his upset over having to read about what happened to him in such a clinical way. Werewolves can be kind of irrationally territorial, and although Soap is used to reading reports just like this, the fact that it's concerning Ghost (in probably the most vulnerable state of his life) is raising his hackles.
It's not a fight, because at the end of the day, Soap isn't mad at Ghost, just at his circumstances. But he's basically just asserting some emotional boundaries here with Ghost (who is, for what it's worth, I'd say a bit surprised and mostly bemused here.)
#lots of reading in this one but its a layered situation#god they'll do anything other than communicate like normal people <3#ive been having a good time writing their relationship issues though#i think its just more realistic if its kind of a rocky touch and go process#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#ghostsoap#monster 141 au#giragi art
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so like is it specifically planets the solver craves or can it get by with just eating dirt off the ground
#thank you those people in that one server i havent been there long enough to remember names#for bringing up the idea#is very funny#god i have genuinely no idea what to do for n's dialogue boxes. cannot think of a gimmick whatsoever#suprise attack by the artstyle change. i am imploding right now#cannot settle on any style whatsoever. genuinely changing by the hour#so strangely proud of ns hand in this one i dont know what it is about it but i really like it#hats still pisses me off though. why so difficult to draw#murder drones#art#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones cyn#or its#murder drones absolutesolver#who knows at this point#murder drones skig#still fighting tooth and nail for the tail to be named skig. it fits so well#iz go attack glitch headquarters for me#i think its late enough i can keep this unspoilered
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Yeah, Kris is definitely NOT alright.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#utdr#crossover#crossover comic#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#twin runes#twin runes comic#twin runes au#kris dreemurr#frisk#and we arrived at the breaking point#i know the last pages have been very depresso but i swear once this arc is over we'll get right back on track with the funnies#but first we have to deal with some DRAMA#imagine what it would be like if some otherworldly entity took over your body#and suddenly you start making friends and patching up old friendships#Something even your mother is proud of you for#even though it's not YOU doing that#you'd feel like people don't like YOU but only that parasite in your body#because without it you're just that creepy kid next door#you'd feel like the world would be better without you#at least that's what Kris must be feeling right now#i DO wonder what's up with this cave though#it clearly is NOT the exit#and what's with those markings outside and inside the cave?#hmmmmm
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#genuinely curious how people feel about this#I do it and I neither care if Im being annoying nor do I think I am#the ppl who followed me for my art are not going to get annoyed at me for showing them my art#though sometimes i get worried for like 1 millisecond if i come across as pushy then i remember this is the art website abd i stop caring#polls#art#can I tag this as that even if there's no actual art in the post#well. it IS about art#>1k
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A sister's love
The justice league hurriedly responds to a call for backup at a little in the middle of nowhere place by the name of Amity Park.
The situation had seemed so simple.
A Star Sapphire had suddenly shown up on Earth which isn’t immediately cause for concern but she was unidentified, so a lantern was definitely going to have to look into it if only just to make sure that nothing bad was going on. There are two planet side green lanterns, Simon and Jessica. So they responded to handle the potential situation.
Things rapidly spun out of control when they realized it wasn't just a Star Sapphire.
"I hate to say this but we're gonna need backup" Simon tells Cyborg, "the Star Sapphire has brought something with her. My first guess was a white martian but..." The other one can do some manner of density shifting, and he can go invisible, but they know ways around that. Whatever this one is doing isn’t that though.
"Why isn't this working!?!" Comes Jessica's slightly panicked voice in the distance, "he keeps just going through my creations! dammit, think think Jess" She tried to contain him with a flamethrower construct but he just ignored it, like he’s seemingly ignoring everything else she’s throwing at him.
"Our constructs have zero effect on the other one, the alien, meta? man I don’t know he’s human shaped"
"What is the situation other than the two hostiles?"
"Uh we got some government agents who are retreating because of the Star Sapphire wrecking their stuff. And the civilian people here seem to be falling under her influence, so she must be human. She's from here, she needs emotional connection to pull that stuff off."
The people are furious, the violet glow around them clearly indicates that the girl is using her ring to amp them up but if Simon didn’t know any better he’d say this was red lantern stuff.
Well there are more ways to whip people up into a frenzy, by hurting their loved ones for example.
There is a brief moment where it can be heard that Simon and Jessica try to get into a more advantageous position.
Simon grunts, "dammit, those agents seemed to have weapons that actually worked on the other guy but the Star Sapphire used her violet constructs to shield him and destroy their guns and we've been struggling since" this whole situation stinks, he has a weird feeling about all of it.
"Simon this is really really bad, i can't keep restraining all these civilians, we're running out of energy fast!"
Cyborg tries to get a visual on the situation from his position in the Watchtower while he’s notifying any league affiliated heroes who are nearby and available.
But all of a sudden he realizes there is just nothing, just a big lap of void where the two lanterns are supposed to be, there is no cctv footage, no cell towers, no internet connection. Just what the hell is going on here.
Then the audio transmission starts to violently crackle.
A new voice laced with static can suddenly be heard, "There you two are"
"Shit"
"Is the justice league coming yet? Are they finally going to do something?" the staticy voice continues.
"Stay back you-"
"Or maybe they still need more of a reason to act"
The audio cuts out.
"Jessica! Simon! Come in!" ... "Shit!"
Cyborg finally gets a clear picture with the satellite cameras and now sees the entirety of Amity Park has been covered with a crystalized violet dome. It’s then that he remembers the story Hal told quite some time ago now about a Star Sapphire who managed to put a whole planet into love stasis.
They are gonna need more help with this one he thinks.
Meanwhile Jazz is still shakily trying to figure out how her new pink powers work, now that all the fighting is over (for now), the GIW forcefully expelled from Amity, and the two Justice league people captured and restrained.
Everything happened so fast, one moment the GIW had knocked out her brother and were forcefully taking him away and while she saw them drive off (she was pretty sure she was screaming) a pink thing just froze her in place, She was pretty sure someone said something about “great love in her heart” and then she was… well she was flying and- and there wasn’t really any time to question things then so she may have kinda gone and ripped into the van that had Danny.
She’s pretty sure she healed him, and then things just completely spiraled out of control from that point on. and now she’s here.
She’s pretty sure this is crazy villain behavior, she’s going to get put on some sort of watchlist and then she’ll never get to be a psychologist but it’s fine.
Her little brother is safe, that’s all that matters. And she will keep it that way.
#dpxdc#dcxdp#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc#dc x dp#dp x dc crossover#green lanterns#jazz fenton#simon baz#jessica cruz#so Jazz is a Star Sapphire#And she is using the love she has for her brother as well as the love of the Amity Park community#the people of Amity are already not happy with the Justice League so getting them to do what she wants isn't hard#atm though she doesn't really know she's doing it#and the ring is probably also influencing her#I feel like this situation would first get worse before it would get better#The GIW would try to spin this into their advantage somehow
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like this post to receive a boop :)
#i'm bored and still taking it easy bc COVID so i cant take a walk the way i want to.#boop#eta i will not be getting to most people who like it now sorry :(#i did do about 1700 though.
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Pain is a great motivator…
Part 26 || First || Previous || Next
—Full Series—
Meanwhile Toriel:
(Loud noises don't wake her up usually.)
Artist note: I’m so proud of this :))) I know it’s a lot of dialogue and reading, but dialogue is grueling work for me. I’m glad with the art and for the amount of pages I made in such a relatively short time span -w- page 5 was super fun to work on. A lot of blood, sweat, and hours here... :) The backgrounds were a big bore tbh, but I finished them! Yippie!
#CHARA WTF DO YOU MEAN “COMPUTER”????#lol i hope you guys dont hate me for what im doing in the next update.#IS THAT A MAC OS???#Yes......owo''#Kris and the Gang are LITTLE now. I've pixelated them and turned them into little game characters!#FINALLY!!#I never thought I would be going so far in the story to explain WHY Kris pulls out their SOUL and opens Darkfountains even when they killed#Berdly in Chapter 2. Pain can make people do horrible things.#Uhhhhhhhhh anyways. :3 I hope you liked it! I made this post a little too long for my liking and didnt get it out when i wanted too-#but thats okay! As long as people enjoy it :)#bread#art#deltarune chara timeline#deltarune chara timeline comic#seriously though#long post#man am I glad I switched over to the limited color palet! It helps me feel alot more relaxed uwu#This is....way over 16 hours of work q-q#chara#asriel#susie#kris#asriel dreemurr#kris dreemurr#kris deltarune#susie deltarune#deltarune#comic#my art
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#my art#you know he was being a little shit#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#harrykim#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#this is the first drawing ive managed to finish in over a year (we dont talk about the 3 million wips)#so thank you gay people for getting rid of my art block 🫶 i love you#i didnt use a reference though so apologies if the proportions look a bit wonky but GOD i had so much fun making this#ive missed Enjoying doing art. like actually enjoying the process and not just impatiently rushing for the finished piece#like maybe art IS fun..#crazy. anyways#this sideblog is brand new so i doubt people will even see this but!! if you do then i should have some more DE art on the way :-)
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if you're a white person taking pleasure in the idea that Trump voters of colour are experiencing racist violence from white trumpers because "they got what's coming to them" I don't think you're anti-racist at all, I think you were just waiting for an acceptable target, and you're also fucking weird.
Bad Person Deserves Punishment For Their Sins give me a fucking break and get yourself out of the fucking catholic church. you're all prison abolitionists until you see someone you don't like.
#assholes still do not deserve to be victims of bigotry#people will crow this up and down until they find someone they think is a big enough asshole to really deserve it#watch your cognitive dissonance kids#i really am only speaking to white people here. as a white person.#POC can feel however they feel.#though i still don't think it's an appropriate sentiment to turn into Political Praxis there is of course a need to vent#like idk i don't find any marginalised suffering under fascism funny. i think it's fucking sad.#i think it is sad when right wing gay people experience homophobia and i think it is sad when right wing trans people experience transphobia#and when right wing disabled people experience ableism and when right wing women experience misogyny#leopards eating faces is funny when it's about like. rich people or misogynists or whatever it's.#do you understand that this is punching down?#why are we wasting our energy hoping for the victimisation of specific marginalised people#this would be a great time to do some outreach but instead everyone is just fucking MOCKING THEM#you're so fucking stupid you don't care about The Cause you care about Winning#this shit makes me furious.#have some compassion#the system speaks#USpol#Trump#racism#politics
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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Ghouls night out
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Scopophobia#Don't be mean Lan Wangji - the dead girl aesthetic is a curated one. Support women's rights to look dead!#I have been waiting for this scene for ages...the ghost girl entourage is such a good look for WWX.#And by gods does the audio drama actually do something interesting with one of them.#Namely that we actually get to see WWX talk with them and learn about who they were and what they left behind.#I love necromancer characters but it's way too common for them to be like “Go! Ghost no.145!” like they're a pokemon#and not...you know...someone who had a whole life that they left behind.#I love me a necromancer who has an awareness to whose soul/body they are using. It adds a lot of flavour!#MDZS is a little hit or miss with this. I think the fans do a lot of the work with making Mo Xuanyu a bigger character.#Yi City has this in spades. Even though we don't individually get character backstories#We get many painful reminders about how these 'corpses' were people.#We also get a few lines about how WWX used whatever corpses he could get his hands on (including grandparents - Woof!)#MDZS often (but not always) likes to remind us that every sacrifice and every ghost was a person.#It is so close to nailing the landing regarding the deconstruction of the necromancer character.#Anyhow. You may have noticed the uptick in quality in the last two comics. Rule of three means next one is going to be a treat B*)#See you all very soon!
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