#i do have a deep insecurity about being stupid and always confused and people not understanding anything i say

[bungusofficial]

mutual how are you so good at getting into arguments with people who agree with you

probably bc i only respond to people who cant write or read

"rape play can be consented to" and "rape can be consented to" are VERY different sentences. n like honestly i shouldnt even have bothered.

if you have such a fundamental misunderstanding of the english language i wont waste my time trying to communicate with you. when every word means something different its not really english anymore is it. if everything u say is so divorced from the english language that i need to ask you to repeat and translate everything i dont think im at fault here

i might just cut contact w anyone in the community because everything i say is misunderstood and misrepresented and not taken seriously if im not sucking up to people.

and so many words have new double-meanings and im led to think i disagree with ppl because theyre fucking incapable of writing a coherent sentence. and then its my fault somehow.

and its not like 'transid' or paraphilia dont exist outside of the radqueer community. everyone wants to change things about themselves. everyone changes. people are into weird shit and have mental disorders. i dont have a problem with peoples experiences.

n if rqs put any effort into what they say (or even didnt blame me for assuming that a word doesnt have any new secret meaning) id treat it the same as the mogai or liom community. whatever. kinda fun. sometimes theres a relatable label

.delete later

[k1ngpin42]

Abby being insecure about how needy she is ;)

Warnings: Not proof read at all 😭 I wrote this while sick at like 3am so sorry for this monstrosity. Pretty intense sexual references, some fluff if you can call it that. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this…” Abby breathes out apologetically, bringing one of her large hands to the soft flesh on your face. You cock your head, smiling at her softly. Your wide eyes bring a smile of her own to Abby’s face as she makes the comparison to a deer in headlights in her mind. 

“I just…” Abby explains, letting out a deep breath. “Don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you. I mean I- feel like I’m taking advantage of you.” You were stunned by her words. In fact, you were stunned by the whole situation. Abby; without her cocky fucking facade about her, the fact Abby would think she’s taking advantage of you. 

You had wanted this from the start, so if in any plane of reality she was somehow taking advantage of you, you’d let her, 100 times over.

“What are you talking about? You know I love our sex…”

“I’m objectifying you.” Abby tries, and you let out a laugh in disbelief. 

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve tried not to think about it, but I can’t. It makes me feel so selfish I can barely say it.”

“Say what, Abby? I’m so confused-“

“I want to have sex with you. Every minute of every day. I think about you when you’re on assignments, I dream about you when you’re sleeping elsewhere, I want to fuck you senseless in front of everyone I- Jesus what am I saying? What am I doing, even? But it’s true I just…whether you’re wearing tight jeans, short skirts, long dresses, even a fucking hoodie I want to tear it off and do so many things to you. Maybe…maybe we should break up, this shouldn’t be normal, it isn’t-“ You stop her by planting a soft kiss on her lips. 

Abbys gaze softened and her shoulders slouch back into place.

“Just calm down Abby….I love our sex. Fucking love it.”

“But-“ You shake your head, quickly preventing  her doubts from festering.

“Love…we’re in a relationship….if you didn’t feel passionate for me there wouldn’t be much of one, would there? Now just look at the place around us. This place was once used for actual football…by people who lived in a world with an abundance of simple pleasures. We live in a world where pleasure is so much rarer, it’s no surprise that you revel in what we have…what you can give me….especially since you’re a soldier. Always so…tense.” She listens to your explanation intently and nods, hesitantly. 

“I still feel…you know….” You look at her with a comforting smile, but it was still clear to her you weren’t a mind reader.

“I know that I love being around you…hugging you…kissing you…I could probably survive without the sex but I still feel like I’m using you somehow…I mean we’ve…” she clears her throat, now wondering why the word ‘sex' suddenly felt like poison in her throat.

“Had sex at least twice a day every day that we’ve been together. I mean that one Saturday I-“ She pauses and you both blush remembering it.

“You were still limping by Monday….” She concludes. You can’t help but laugh at her babbling. 

“Abigail Anderson…this is emotional stuff, you know you should write this down…ooh maybe you can try poetry?” She shuts the idea down with a playful hit to your shoulder. 

“Ow.” You laugh. Your smile fades a little and you close the gap between you guys, leaning into her ear. 

“You think you’re the only one who craves it every day? I know you don’t want to hurt me but when you’re rough holy fuck….the marks you leave on my body…it’s stupid and embarrassing but I get off to them….” Her eyes widen.

“What? You never said-“

“Well because I thought it was toxic at the time-“

“Hey you said this stuff was normal!”

“It is!” You exclaim back, playfully. You both laugh and you kiss her deeply. She leans back onto her bed and you fall onto her lap, kissing her fully again.

“Hm, so what other shit do you want to tell me, then?” She asked, playing with your hair. You just smirk at her.

“To be honest…I think I’ve had enough talking for one afternoon wouldn’t you agree my little sex addict?” She rolls her eyes.

“You’re so annoying.” Abby replies, unbuckling her belt. 

[synthetickitsune]

Jun (SVT) | Not Jealous fluff | 0.8k | gn!reader A/N: i once again blame @hanniedream and her silly bf jun ideas for making me stuck in jun brainrot >:(

“You’re doing it again,” you accuse him with a pout when you join him again at the bar. 

“Hm?” he frowns, turning his body towards you.

“You’re not jealous at all,” you sigh, “Someone flirts with me and you don’t care at all.”

It’s a tradition at this point - someone lowkey flirts with you with Jun in sight, you decline them, and life goes on. Your boyfriend hardly ever so much as comments on it anymore.

You’re not actually bothered by it, but today you wish he’d show a little more feeling at someone flirting with his partner. He senses you’re upset, and even if he thinks it’s more the late hour getting to you than you actually being mad, it’s always safer to check or at least distract you.

“Wanna know my secret?” he smiles, gently putting his hand over your knee and slowly stroking your skin to soothe you.

“Yeah,” you jump at the opportunity. He huffs at your sudden enthusiasm, then takes a couple of deep breaths. He meant to pull out some lame joke, but he’s not so sure he can do it anymore. His mind just goes a little blank when you look at him like this. And so the painful truth is his only way.

“I imagine they’ll flirt with me next.”

“...come again?”

“I’ll think they’ll be flirting with me next and how I’d feel in that situation,” he rephrases carefully, feeling his ears beginning to burn up.

“Jun, look, I love you but what the actual fuck. Please explain the thought process,”

“You always say I’m hotter than you,” he gives you an expectant look, and you play along and nod, “Say it.”

“Yeah, you’re hotter than me,” you roll your eyes, and you definitely do not smile seeing the happy grin on his face.

“Well then naturally, they’ll see you and be interested and flirt, but when they see me, they’ll come right over instead,” he explains, slowly growing embarrassed and looking to you for support. You’re a little too focused on the fact that this sounds a lot like when a long time ago it was you explaining why you’re insecure when people see you together. He seemed so confused about it, and you wonder if it actually caused some damage. “And yeah, I just think that and how uncomfortable I’d be if someone came onto me like that when I already have you and you’re everything I want and need. And you’re out of their league too!”

You jump a little when you realize how close Jun leaned towards you while you were trying to comprehend what he’s telling you. His skin looks adorably flushed, and you know it’s definitely not from the very much non-alcoholic juice and vodka cocktail he’s been drinking. You close the gap between you, resting your forehead against his.

“I think I want to marry you,” you sigh, closing your eyes before you can see the relieved smile that you know would make you propose right then and there. 

“So are you still mad at me?” he asks, taking your hands in his.

“I wasn’t mad, I just think it’s unfair,” you shake your head before kissing him. He hums into the kiss, sliding a hand behind your head. It moves to rest around your shoulders when you pull away.

“But you know, Jun, that last guy was kind of hot,” you mention off-handedly as you swirl the drink in your glass.

“Hm, yeah, he had a nice body,” Jun leans back, tilting his head in thought.

“And you still thought I was out of his league? Still thought you’d mind him flirting with you?” you’re just teasing, your reward being his laugh.

“Honestly, I’m so annoyed someone is flirting with you that it’s not hard to only find the ugly things on them,” he shrugs, smirking when he notices your surprised face, “I get jealous, I just try not to show it if it’s stupid.”

You push his shoulder and groan. You cross your arms on the table and put your head on them, glaring at your laughing boyfriend. 

He’s right though. Whenever you feel uncomfortable, he’s right there to protect you and take care of sending the offender away. Whenever they cross a boundary, he will show them you’re his, the same as when you make it clear you want him to be possessive about you. He just never makes a scene if there is no need. 

“I can-”

“No,” you stop him before he can continue, smiling as he rubs your back gently, “You’re perfect. I’m just stupid sometimes.”

“Always,” he coughs to tease you, but that’s alright. 

You’re grateful to have him - bickering and all.

[theotherbuckley]

I like you (because you're you) - bucktommy 2K

read on ao3

“Who was that?” Tommy asks, walking up to where Buck’s sat on the couch, phone placed down in his lap. They’d just finished dinner, Buck had cooked a delicious pasta dish that had Tommy coming back for seconds. He’d told Buck how much he liked it, and Buck had promised he’d make it again before his phone started buzzing and he’d apologised before taking the call.

Buck gives him a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. His cheerful self from earlier seemingly replaced with a faded version. He has this distant look in his eyes which he quickly blinks away before he speaks. “Uh, that was my friend Connor. He, uh, just wanted some of my medical records.” He waves his hand like it’s no big deal. It isn’t. Not really. His brain is just being stupid, is all.

Tommy raises his eyebrows before frowning. “Why’d he need those?” He questions, coming to sit down next to Buck. He places his hand on Buck’s thigh momentarily, squeezing softly like he just knows that Buck needs a little bit of comfort right now even if he doesn’t quite understand why.

“Uh, their son was at a doctor's appointment, just having a check-up or something, and I’m well— they used my sperm so, you know, they just want to make sure everything is in order, I guess,” he rushes out the last part, desperate to get the words out like if he says it fast enough Tommy won’t even realise what he’s said and it won’t cause any issues. 

Tommy’s brows rise further as he takes that in. Buck watches him process, afraid that his life will once again be too much for someone, and they’ll walk out. It’s what people do — when Buck inevitably becomes too much and when they decide what he’s offering, what he can’t give them, isn’t enough in return, they leave.

“Is that— is that a problem?” Buck hates the way his voice wavers as he speaks. Hates the way he can’t hide his emotions at all. He really likes Tommy, really wants him to stick around. He’ll do what he can to make that happen. He’ll make himself more useful so that Tommy won’t want to leave. He’ll—

“No, no, of course not.” Tommy says it like there’s no other answer. Like he can’t imagine anyone thinking that’s a problem. Buck waits for the inevitable ‘but’.

“But.” Buck braces. “But I’m just surprised I’ve never heard of this guy before is all,” Tommy says. Buck exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Oh uh, yeah, we— we aren’t really close.”

“But you donated sperm for him?” There’s genuine confusion in his voice.

“Yeah, well, I guess— he asked. I may not have spoken to him in a while but, I wasn’t gonna say no.”

“You have the biggest heart, Evan. I think what you did is incredibly honourable. How are they doing now?” Tommy asks gently, seemingly comfortable to move the conversation on.

“I’m—I'm not actually sure.” He sighs. “That was the first time they’d called since the birth. And that was only because they needed something.” He laughs at the end like his words don’t speak to some greater insecurity deep inside him. Like it doesn’t hurt that his friend hasn’t talked to him until they needed him.

“Ah,” Tommy says, and Buck can here the judgement dripping from his mouth. He’s not sure exactly what he’s done, but it’s always something. Maybe he should have been the one to check in on them, maybe—

“I don’t think he sounds like a very good friend,” Tommy states. 

Buck frowns, he didn’t expect him to say that. The truth is, Buck sometimes wonders that himself. What he lands on instead is that there must be something wrong with him. Because it’s not just Connor who wants things from him and then doesn’t care about any other part of Buck. It’s just how it’s always been. People take, and Buck gives. He gives, and he gives, and it’s never quite enough, but he tries.

“Sometimes I feel like people only like me when I’m useful,” Buck admits in a whisper, letting the words stuck inside his head free. It’s not that he thinks it; he knows it. He knows he’s only worth something when people can use him, and he’s lived with that his whole life. He was born to save someone, and he failed, but that’s his whole purpose even now. 

He saves people for a living. He’ll babysit whenever anybody asks, he’ll be your trivia partner when you need to win. He’ll let his friends use him for his sperm. And it’s not that he doesn’t want to. He does. He loves doing these things for his friends because he can. But sometimes it hurts a little knowing that it’s not him that they want. They just… like his ability to do things.

“Evan, I like you. Regardless of anything you can or can’t do. I like you.” Tommy emphasises the you like Buck being Buck is somehow special.

Buck can’t stop the wet laugh that escapes his throat. He shakes his head, sniffles before composing himself. “No, no,” he says, because it’s not true, it can’t be. “But—but it’s okay because I’ll make sure you don’t get bored of my I-I’ll cook dinner, and I’ll do the dishes, and I’ll make sure we always win at trivia and— and I don’t know anything about cars or Muay Thai, but I’ll learn.” Buck’s rambling, the words tumbling out of his mouth in one breath. He needs to make sure Tommy knows that he’ll do his best; even if it’s hard, he’ll be useful because then Tommy will stay, and he really wants Tommy to stay.

“Evan.” It’s that soft voice again. Placating, like he’s talking to a small child. Like he’s trying to get him to listen.

Buck shifts his gaze from the floor to Tommy. He looks sad. Buck wishes he wasn’t the one to make him look like that. He tries to smile at him, anything to bring those soft creases at the edges of Tommy’s eyes back, but his heart’s not really in it.

“Evan,” Tommy says again, locking his eyes on Buck’s. “You don’t need to be useful for me to like you. I like you because you’re adorable. I like you because you’re funny and you don’t care what people think. ‘Who cares’, right?” Tommy chuckles. Buck likes that sound. “I like that you were willing to try again with me, even if you bought me god-awful coffee with it.” Buck lets out a wet chuckle at that. “I look at you, Evan, and I see someone who cares so deeply about your friends. Willing to put your life on the line for others. But it’s more than that, I like the way you ramble about random things you find on the internet, and how you try out 100 different lasagna recipes because you need to find the right one even though you burn half of them.”

“Hey!” Buck says in weak protest. He’s right, though. There’s a warmth in his chest at the fact that Tommy noticed.

Tommy keeps going. “I like how big your smile gets when you talk about Chris or Jee-Yun. I like the way that your cheeks turn the colour of your birthmark when you’re flustered. I just— I really like you, Evan. You could— you don’t have to cook for me every day or give me the answers at trivia night for me to want you to stick around. I like you because you’re you.”

Buck can’t stop the tears trickling down his cheeks. His whole life has been about being useful, and it’s so hard to believe anything different but the way Tommy talks about him. Like maybe he really does see him. “I don’t know how to— I want to believe you but it’s just, every relationship I’ve had has felt like people want something from me. Abby needed help when her mom died, and then she just left. I always felt like Ali just wanted a place to crash when she was in town. I mean, she’s the reason I have this apartment in the first place. Taylor just wanted sex at first, and then she started getting insights into news stories from the firehouse, and she always valued that more than spending time with me. She’d ask me how my day was, not because she cared but because she wanted to know if there was anything worth writing about. Hell, she even published a book about me. Even after it was over, she used me as much as she could.” The tears are flowing faster now, and his voice cracks as he speaks. It’s stupid to get so emotional about this, but Buck can’t stop now. Now that he’s opened the faucet of this insecurity of his, it’s like everything he’s been bottling inside is bubbling to the surface and he can’t stop it.

“And Nat—Natalia,” Buck continues, hiccuping through his tears. “She just wanted to understand my death. Asked me a hundred— a hundred questions about what it was like, and at first, I thought maybe she could actually see me, but I feel like she was just using me for something too.” Buck wipes his face. He’s sure he must look like a mess right now — tear-streaked face, snot dripping down from his nose. Tommy doesn’t deserve to deal with all this. “Sorry,” Buck chuckles,  the sound getting caught in his throat. “You didn’t need to hear about all that.”

“Hey,” Tommy says, moving closer towards Buck. He tucks his fingers under Buck’s chin forcing him to look Tommy in the eyes. He holds Buck’s face tenderly in his hand, always so gentle. “You can talk to me about anything, and I will listen, okay?”

“I don’t want to bore you,” Buck says softly, moving to look down at the ground once more but Tommy doesn’t let him get away, holding him firmly yet soft, like Buck’s something precious.

“You couldn’t,” Tommy replies sincerely. “If it weren’t for you, how else would I know that the Australians started a war on emus, huh?” He jokes.

“And lost,” Buck whispers because he can’t help it.

“And lost!” Tommy repeats. Buck had gone on a tangent about it just the other day. He’d gone to the zoo with Christopher, and they’d been having a lot of fun until they stood too close to the fence, and an emu had come up and startled them. Buck had decided in that moment that he needed to find out every single detail about them, which led him to discovering that in 1932, Australia declared war on emus —and then proceeded to lose. He’d met up with Tommy after and rambled about his findings because he thought it was absolutely hilarious. Tommy sat there smiling at him, evidently listening to every word that he said, taking it in and remembering it all.

“I like listening to you talk, Evan. I like you. And I’ll tell you that as much as you need to hear. Now,” Tommy claps his hands together. “Tomorrow, I’m cooking for you. You don’t need to do anything except sit there and look pretty. Let someone do something for you for once. Okay?”

Buck just nods, wiping at his eyes before slumping into Tommy’s now open arms and relishing in the comfort of his boyfriend. He doesn’t quite believe him, not yet. He wants to. It’s just prior experience has moulded his brain a certain way and now he just can’t believe any different. He wants to. He wants someone to like him, to love him, even when he can’t be useful. He hopes that maybe Tommy will show him that that’s possible.

For now, he tucks his head into Tommy’s shoulder, clutches onto him like he’s going to disappear and lets himself be held. Tommy kisses his birthmark like it’s sacred, holds him and tells him he likes him over and over. Buck thinks maybe he really does.

[scftpcws]

omg can i request a jacob scipio Imagine where him and reader kinda get into an argument because of the reader being insecure and stuff😀 i want something angst but at the same time fluffy 🥹

A/n : Thanks for the request anon!! i am trash at writing angst but i tried my best 😭 Hope you enjoy !! <3

INSECURE | JACOB SCIPIO

Warning! Poorly written angst with a lil bit of fluff.

She looked down at the tiny bikini that she had bought a few days prior while shopping with her friends. Y/n and Jacob were going on a trip to The Maldives in a week and she was packing her stuff waaay in advance, just to make sure she had everything.

The bikini seemed to taunt her as she thought about the way she looked when she tried it on. She hated it. Her friends said she looked great and she was convinced to buy 5 more. Now she was staring at them as she realised just how much she hated the way they made her look.

“Baby, what do you want for dinner? I was thinking pizza but i’m not so sure.” his voice was gentle coming from the doorway, his focus slowly shifting towards the piles and pules of clothes that littered their bedroom. He had then noticed that Y/n was sat on the edge of the bed, the hot pink bikini she had bought a few days ago held tightly in her hands.

“Babe?” he spoke again, trying to get her attention. she looked up at him trying desperately to fight back the tears that gathered in her eyes.

“Baby, whats wrong.” he panicked as he saw her eyes, so full of tears.

He moved towards her, kneeling and cupping her face in his palms. She bit back as sob as she looked deep into his eyes.

“I can’t do this Jacob.” her voice wavered as her bottom lip began to quiver. He looked down at the bikini top, his head cocking to the side in confusion. “Can’t do what, my love?” he answered softly, his thumb caressing her cheek and catching a stray tear.

“I can’t wear these stupid bikinis. I look awful in them!” she snapped, thinking about how she had looked in the bathroom mirror, after being convinced to buy them.

“I look like a whale in them! My arms look huge and my boobs don’t sit right in the top and don’t even get me started on my stomach. I look horrible, J!” she sobbed uncontrollably, spewing her opinions on how her body looked in the garments. Jacob almost cried with her.

“Don’t say that.”

“But it’s true!”

“No it isn’t.”

“I look disgusting.”

“Please don’t insult my wife like that.” was the final thing he said before she looked back up at him, seeing the hurt in his face. She couldn’t help the way she thought about herself. Sometimes she was kinder to her body, but times like this she wished it looked different, that she was different.

“Y/n, please look at me. I love you. And before you say anything just listen to me. Can you do that for me?” he asked, lifting her chin so that she could meet his eyes again. She nodded slowly, sniffing and blinking back her tears.

“You are the most beautiful woman i have ever met, and i’ll be damned if i let you talk about MY wife like that. My wife, the woman i chose to be with till death do us part. So what if your arms look huge or your boobs don’t sit right? You’re beautiful to me and always will be.”

“But people will stare at me.” she whispered, her eyebrows furrowing. “Well when you look as gorgeous as you do people are bound to stare. Your body is perfect to me and i hope that one day you’ll see yourself the way that i do.” he concluded, placing a sweet kiss on her forehead.

“Thank you, J. But i still don’t feel comfortable being so exposed.” she mumbled, shuffling a little. He placed his hand on hers and brought it to his lips, kissing the skin in reassurance. “Well then we will buy some new stuff, whatever it takes for my beautiful girl to feel as beautiful and sexy as she looks.” he smiled playfully, the soft glow of the setting sun peeking through the blinds and illuminating his face.

“What did i do to deserve you?” she smiled. their foreheads touching.

[wutheringcaterpillar]

Unsure if you’ve done this before but maybe a fic with Jackson x insecure!reader? Like the reader is not very trustworthy that Jackson is being faithful because of his job. It could be a fluffy smutty kinda thing. Thankssss

Warnings: smut, p in v, insecure!reader, mention of seperation anxiety, jealousy, fluff

Thank you for the request! I really do believe Jackson can have a sweet side and I wish it was touched on more, hope this does it justice <3

The bedside lay empty, the room chilly from the furnace bring broken. You had been on the phone multiple times trying to get the damn thing fixed but the guy still hadn't showed.

Closing your book, you glanced down at the watch wrapped around the small of your wrist. Jackson's flight was supposed to be landing soon. You had missed him deeply, constantly checking your phone for any texts, calls, a sign that he was thinking of you but there was nothing.

Sighing, you rolled yourself out of bed begrudgingly, heart pattering, mind racing with anxious thoughts. His boss Linda often accompanied him. She was an older woman, thin with blonde hair and blue eyes, every hormonal boy's wet dream.

She was hot, had curves in all the placed you did not, had a knack for negotiating and speaking to people with authority. It wasn't just her though, there were plenty of targets you were insecure of. Jackson was charismatic, charming, with a very convincing smile on his face to get them where he wanted them. It was quite often that you'd lay in bed waiting on a response. Throat becoming tight when he'd turn his location off. Jackson was always, honest with you about how in his field, there were people wiser than him. He could be tracked, or hacked by the enemy. The endless thoughts were depressing, but you wouldn't blame him if he did do something with Linda or a different girl, he probably just didn't tell you to protect your sensitive, stupid feelings.

Pulling up at the pick up point, you waited only a total of five minutes before he was walking out side by side with her. She hugged him goodbye, making you frown thinking most bosses don't do that with their employees. Curling in on yourself, you shrunk your hands into the sleeves of the long sleeve you were wearing, the fabric acting as a shield for yourself.

The car door finally opened, Jackson pecking you on the cheek with a dashing smiled imprinted on his attractive face. When you hardly smiled, he was concerned immediately.

"Babe? Everything okay?" Inhaling a deep breath, shaking off the feeling of embarrassment and insecurity. You forced a smiled, nodding and putting the car in drive. Right away he was skeptical. His job involved reading people, and he was good at it but deciding not to press it, he furrowed his brows, glancing out the window as you drove off back home.

There was barely a word said, just blankless stares at the road while Jackson would glance over every few minutes concerned. Had he done something wrong? Did something happen while he was away he was supposed to know about? His girl was hurting, trying to pretend that something wasn't bothering him, and that bothered him.

Once inside, he closed the bedroom door, noticing how there were dark, faded bags under your eyes like you hadn't slept. Sorrow fulfilling your pretty eyes, he sat down beside you, taking your delicate hand in his gently, forcing you to look at him.

"What's wrong? And don't tell me it's nothing. We've been together nearly a year, I know when something is bothering you." You couldn't stop the tear from falling effortlessly down your cheek.

"I- um. I don't look like them..." He was puzzled, eyebrows knitting together in confusion, crystal eyes glowing with care for the situation. Then it clicked. Without giving a chance for you to turn away, his large hands wrapped caringly around you, holding your shaking, crying body as you wept into his neck, forming a puddle on the warmth of his skin. He hadn't smelt of a girl, just his normal self, maybe that was a good sign?

"Honey like who?"

"Like them! Like fucking Linda, your fucking targets..." A playful smirk curled upon Jackson's lips, eyebrows lifting in amusement.

"You mean the targets that are dead?" You shoved him lightly knowing how stupid this sounded. Jackson had never given you a reason to believe he was cheating, he had never acted differently when coming home, hardly on his phone other than business reasons and playing silly games with you. Past insecurities and traumas were eating you alive, ruining and blocking out all the happy feelings a person typically has in a relationship. But the thought of losing him shattered your heart, having to compete with other women made your skin crawl, thinking you'd lose or maybe you already have.

When you weren't laughing at his joke, his fingers trailed your shaking hands, realizing this was serious. His baby blue eyes watched you with a sense of sensitivity and curiosity.

"Sweetheart where is all this coming from? How long has this been brewing in that mysterious little head of yours?" Looking down shamefully, you admitted it's been ever since reality set in that he would be away, stalking beautiful women, working with a pretty one, and just endless thoughts of he could do better than your introverted, quiet self. He wasn't a bad looking man, but there have been quite a few women you'd seen flirt with him even with you present by his side. He always curved them, not having the time of day for pointless interactions or conversations he couldn't care less about. He'd always ignore them, reassuring you by not even glancing their way or intertwining his hand with yours as an expression for he was already taken and wasn't going anywhere. Not that he had to do this to make you content but because he hadn't had eyes for any other girl. But what did he do when this happened and you weren't around? The thoughts ate away at your mind endlessly...

His fingers laced in between yours, lips pouting from your confession.

"Y/N, I know every guy in history has said this but you have nothing to worry about. Fucking Linda, I've never been drawn to her, I've never loved her like I am in love with you okay? Same thing for the other girls, you are on my mind as soon as I walk out this damn door and the first and last thing I think about every singular day." He noticed your breathing seem to shallow, the tears haulting slowly. He hated seeing you like this, and if you didn't believe him, he would prove it to you.

"You don't have to lie to protect my feelings, y'know that right?" He inched forward until you were laying beneath him, heart thudding painfully against his chest from what was about to come. Was he going to say something like, "Finally! I've been holding that in for so long, good riddance" but no. He did quite the opposite.

His plump, delicate lips pressed against yours in an innocent yet seductive manner. His hands trailing down your sides, needing you to understand he wasn't staying because he was forced to but because he loved you, and he'd never do anything to risk losing you.

Your eyebrows propped up in surprise, relishing the horrible view of yourself you held. "Don't think for a minute, I'd ever leave you sweetheart. I love you, and I'm going to show you just how much." He hummed melodically in between the devilish kisses, grinning like a fool in love. His tongue swiped down your neck, leaving goosebumps standing while his knee pressed up predominantly into that pussy he so deeply cherished. His hips grinded forward eagerly, fingers combing over your delicate chin before discarding your clothes with immense assertiveness.

Your tears seemed to stop, the sense of smell focusing on his natural smell of teakwood with a hint of cigarettes. You had missed him profoundly, needing this little intimate session for all the reassurance and he was happy to oblige to give you that.

His hands pressed firmly between your thighs, spreading your legs apart to reveal the beautiful, enticing mound he had missed immensely. She glimmered in the moonlight with a deep need to be filled by his large shaft, to feel loved again. Jackson's eyes glistened in the dark room, you were a sight for sore eyes and he was beyond grateful that you were so willing to stick around and deal with his shit job. That was rare, that was love.

His lips connected to your clit, leaving compassionate suckles, determined to have your legs shaking by the end of this much needed intimate session.

"Fuck baby, I missed you so much..." You purred, the negative thoughts away as he ate away at your sex, fingers protruding into your tight, slippery canal with desire. He simply hummed once more against your sex, digits pumping with lustful enthusiasm curling slightly, palming at that sweet spot he knew all too well. He caressed, your inner thighs, glancing up only to find your eyes fluttering closed, lips partially agape while your breathing was becoming partially ragged. Noticing the way your nipples were hardening in the cool air with anticipation for more.

When he removed his fingers and lips, you whined from the void but the man knew your pleasure points inside and out.

"Shhh, I gotta take care of my beautiful baby girl..." Your eyes watched with fascination as his hand wrapped around his cock, pumping the hardened, long member. Your mouth was watering just imagining the feeling of him inside of you. It had been quite sometime since you've had sex with his work picking up, this was just what you both needed.

His shaft glided gracefully between your soaked folds before sliding into your wonderous, desperate cavern.

Fuck he had forgotten how amazing your pussy felt wrapped around his cock. He couldn't hold back from releasing a low, throaty groan once he was buried inside of you fully, balls pressed against the rim of your ass cheeks.

In the moment, you released that initial melodic sound of shock and pleasure from the sudden fullness, never breaking eye contact with Jackson.

"I missed you, and this, so.... much love." The cool frigid air of your apartment began to naturally warm once your hips grinded down against him, seeking out more movement, more friction, you needed him.

"Please, please more..." He started a swift rhythym, thrusting in and out while his lips connected with your nipple, other hand palming you breast massaging the cushiony skin. God, your boobs were like fluffy little clouds, the closest thing Jackson could obtain and compare to heaven on earth.

Your hand curved up the nape of his neck, fingers scrunching and kneeding his hair, puling him up into a passionate, captivating kiss, tongue delving in between his lips, dancing together in a poetic sillhouette. His taste, his touch, his cock, you had missed it all. He ascended further inside your aching pussy, your slick melting like an ice cream on a hot summer day, dripping down onto his cock as he slid in an out of your tight hole, claiming what was his.

He rutted into you like a dog in heat, your hips grinding down against him with each powerful thrust. Your ankles wrapping behind him, locking in place wanting, needing to lock in that perfect position.

"Jackson, right there, feels- so good...Mmm.." His crystal blue eyes were fixated on every reaction your body gave him, focusing on your face and how you looked oh so perfect beneath.

"Taking my cock so well, such a good girl. My good girl..." Picking up pace, he could tell you were close, feeling your toes curl behind him. He intertwined his hands with yours, his hot breath against your neck as he arched his pack, bottoming out inside of you, making you moan from the building euphoric feeling in your cunt.

"Faster, faster..." Who was he to deny such tumultous satisfaction. The bed frame shook, mattress squeaking as he drilled into you, feeling your boobs bounce up and down against his chest with each thrust, fuck he was close but he wanted you to cum first. From the sound of it though, you were already there.

An overhwhelming, powerful sensation that was unexplainable consumed your body. Screaming and moaning for Jackson to keep going, a wild heat rose in your blooming flower as your orgasm hit like a strong wave would crash upon the shoreline. Your back arched, chest pressed flush against his. Hearing you moan his name Jackson couldn't hold back anymore, flexing his hips and releasing his seed inside of you, the pulsations of his thick cock helping with the duration of your high.

Catching his breath, he came up for air with his hair a mess and staggered breathing, looking into your fucked out eyes.

"Do you believe me now that I'm not going anywhere. Not any other woman I would even think of fucking like that. You are amazing." He pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear and making you blush. Perhaps you were just in over your head and needed reminding of what type of boyfriend Jackson was.

"I'm sorry I thought that I-" He silenced your words with one last kis, hand cupping your cheek delicately as he looked lovingly into your beading eyes when he pulled away.

"No need for apologies, I just need you to talk to me when you are feeling these type of things, okay love?" His voice was soft, caring, all the more reason why you fell in love with him.

"I will, I promise. I love you." He smiled in response, pulling you into his arms to keep you warm through the night, and coaxing you both from the separation.

"I love you too, now let's got shut eye hm?"

[rubendiasthoughts]

Hi girlies ❤ wrote this little thing. Not many people responded to my ask, but those who did mainly wanted it to be smut mixed with fluff, so that's what I did. For those who wanted it to be pure fluff, I will for sure write something like that soon for you ❤ Still, I hope you enjoy this and I am sending the warmest hugs to everyone 💕

Reader being insecure because they look nothing like Ruben's exes:

You knew it was silly. Still there was nothing you could do about the reoccurring voice in your mind, that kept telling you, you weren't good enough. You couldn't stop the thoughts that were telling you that you looked so much different from all of the girls your boyfriend dated before, making you believe there was no way he really, truly liked your appearance.

Seeing photos of all the pretty girls he was with before made your stomach ache. Still,you couldn't help but scroll through their Instagram pages. Your racing thoughts convincing you he is just going to find someone better than you, that you are just a temporary distraction. Even though, deep down you knew Ruben wasn't like that, he was the sweetest guy you have ever been with, always making you feel so loved and adored. Still, it was impossibly hard for you to convince yourself you could ever be good enough for him, pretty enough, sexy enough.

When Ruben came back home to you, he knew right away that something was not okay. You didn't greet him when you heard him walk in, which was very unusual, making him a bit suspicious. He called your name a couple of times, but didn't get any response, so he stumbled through your shared house, looking for you. He finally found you, curled up on the bed, a clearly sad expression present on your face.

"Hi angel" he said, coming up to you. He sat on the edge of the bed, his hand caressed your thigh gently. His eyebrows raised when he saw the way you flinched at his touch. "Did something happen?" worry evident in his voice, as he moved your hand up to move the hair out of your face and stroke your cheek. You only shook your head no, which was not a good enough answer to him, making him even more concerned. "Tell me what's wrong, baby." he insisted. "We can figure it out together."

You looked up at him, tears burning in your eyes, threatening to spill.

"It's nothing, don't worry" you whispered, stuttering through your words. You blinked a couple of times to fight back the tears, but it didn't help. Ruben didn't fail to wipe away the tear that rolled down your cheek, his heart felt like it was going to break seeing you like this.

"I can see it's not nothing. Please, tell me amor (love)." he said, leaning down to press a kiss to your head. "I just want to help you, I hate seeing you like this." he went on, trying to get you to open up and tell him what has been weighing on you.

You looked up at him once again, catching his gaze. The authentic concern you saw glistening in his eyes making you feel even worse about yourself. You didn't mean to be a reason for his worry.

"Why do you even like me?" you whispered, dropping his gaze. He seemed taken aback by your question, his eyebrows furrowed together, as the hand that was caressing your bare thigh stopped its movement.

"What? What do you mean? " he seemed confused, his head tilted to the right a little as he started at you.

"It's just that I don't understand why someone like you would ever be with someone like me. I mean, I'm nothing special, I don't look like all these beautiful girls that you were with before me." you explained through tears, Ruben stayed silent, as if he didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I know it's stupid" you added, more tears streaming down your face, as you attempted to hide it in your hands. However, as soon as they touched your face, Ruben grabbed your wrists and pulled them away.

"Is this what this is about?" he asked, his eyes drilling into your face, flushed from your tears. You didn't say anything, but you didn't have to. Ruben didn't need any more words to understand what you were feeling. Still, it broke his heart that you had to feel this way, that you felt like you weren't good enough for him, when in reality he felt quite the opposite. Everytime he laid his eyes on you he was unsure how he got so lucky, what has he done to deserve you.

"You really have no idea, do you, meu amor (my love)?" he asked, shaking your head at your obliviousness. He leaned down, his lips pressing to your cheek, wet from the tears that rolled down it. "I love everything about you, baby. This beautiful face..." he mumbled into your skin, his scruffy beard grazing against it, before he pressed yet another kiss to the same spot. "This cute nose" he added, his lips moving to place a kiss to the tip of your nose. "These gorgeous lips" a kiss was pressed to the corner of your mouth, making a tiny gasp escape past your lips. "The most beautiful eyes" Ruben said, as your gaze met his. You saw a soft smile spreading on his lips. "Love your little dimples" he pressed another kiss to the spot they would usually appear in, his lips stayed pressed to it, until your lips curled into a gentle smile. "Here they are" Ruben mumbled, before he pecked the very same spot again. Your hand reached out, resting on the back of his neck, your fingers fiddeled with the ends of his hair, as he pulled back a little, so that he could get a look of your face. A peaceful smile painted on his lips, when he saw his words made you smile as well.

You used the hand that rested on the back of his neck to pull him in, your lips connecting to his. He kissed you gently, his tounge swiped along your lower lip, asking for entrance. Your lips parted for him, Ruben taking the occasion to lick into your mouth slowly.

"Tu és Linda (You are beautiful)" he said, when he pulled away, a serious look on his face, as he started deep into your eyes. "Let me show you, baby" a whisper left his lips, before he pressed them to the crook of your neck, his nose grazing against your soft skin, making a gasp escape past your parted lips.

"Please" you whimpered. "Please, Ruben" your hands roaming his back as you felt him mouth at your neck. He pulled away when your pleads met his ears, confusion painted on your face as you saw him standing up.

"Come here linda (beautiful), let me show you" he offered his hand out for you, helping you stand up and leading you to your vanity. He made you stand right in front of it, so that you could see the both of you in the mirror, him towering behind you. His hands rested on your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh.

"Can I?" he asked, as he grabbed at the shirt you were wearing. He pulled it over your head when he saw you nod your head, leaving you almost naked before him, as all you had on was the oversized shirt and a pair of panties. Even after all of his ressurance, you couldn't help but turn your gaze away, as you saw the reflection of your own figure in the mirror. Ruben instantly grabbed your jaw, making you turn your head back.

"Don't look away" he ordered you, his arms sneaking around you from behind, his head dropping to press a kiss to your bare shoulder, before his eyes focused on your reflection. His hand traveled up, grabbing at your breast, squeezing it, before he twisted your hardened nipple between his fingers. "So beautiful, baby. So sexy... " he rasped into your ear, quiet moans escaping your mouth.

"Look what you do to me" His hips rutted into your backside, making you aware of his hardened length, hidden in his pants. You couldn't help but whisper out his name. He put one of his hands on your lower back, pushing you lightly, so that you would lean forward, resting your hands on your vanity. He unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants, along with his boxers down his legs, before hooking his fingers in the material of your underwear.

You gasped at the feeling of his tip running through your folds, teasing your entrance. He pushed into you slowly, groaning at the feeling of your warm walls stretching around him. His eyes glued to your reflection, he grabbed your jaw again as he realized your eyes were closed.

"Watch yourself baby" he instructed you, pulling his hips back, only to push into you once again. His thrusts were painfully slow, as you struggled to open your eyes. "Look how pretty you are, taking me so well baby" his voice sounded straight in your ear. His hand gripping your hip for leverage, his strokes were deep, hitting your sweet spot every time, causing you to cry out. The hand that held your jaw moved down your body, until he found your clit and rubbed it with his fingers, adding to the pleasure that was already running through your body.

"The most perfect girl" he mumbled, as his lips explored the bare skin of your neck and your shoulder. "Fuck baby, what did I do to deserve you?" his voice hoarse, his cock twitched inside of you, as your walls clenched around him. His gaze dropped in between your bodies to watch himself disappear into you, groans leaving his lips at the sight of his length covered in your arousal.

"So close, Ruben" you let out between your moans, making him increase the pressure he was adding to your clit. His thrusts becoming faster, as he felt your walls flutter around him, chasing his own orgasm now. The whispers of his name leaving your lips, as he fucked you through your orgasm.

"So beautiful baby. The prettiest girl" he murmured into the crook of your neck, soon spilling his seed inside you. You were grateful for the way his arms wrapped around you and held you close to him, unsure if you could hold yourself up on your wobbly legs. His lips pressed to the shell of your ear, as he whispered how much he loved you, his cock still nestled deep inside you.

[inactivewattpadauthor]

Jade x Reader: Not Him

This was supposed to be published last month. My bad. Happy Late Pride Month to all beings!

Context: Reader had feelings for Jade, but she's with Kotal

Angst warning(?) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ The dry night of Outworld was quiet apart from the howls of late workers, laboring hard on the streets of dusk. All you did was watch over with no expression, no certain feeling. You were just in your own thoughts.

Nearly every day, at this time, was when you pondered hard somewhere. Somewhere alone, where no one could keep you away from the dangers of the your own conscience. It was always like self-hypnotizing.

Sighing, you finally acknowledged how you were mindlessly fiddling with something in your right hand. Opening up your palm, was a pretty ring. Gold with a green gem perched on the middle.

Though the gem had dulled a bit, it still had the beautiful sparkle to it. It'll always be there, you hope.

𝘑𝘢𝘥𝘦.

That's what the jewel on the ring is. But for you, the name goes way more than a simple, pricey rock.

The name had always made your heart do little happy flips. But recently, it just makes you sad.

Looking at your ring, you let out another deep breath of discontent. You didn't want this stupid jewelry. You wanted the actual-

"Good evening, Y/n! Why are you up here?"

You gasped out a squeak and jumped up, clenching your fist closed in fear of accidentally dropping the ring off the roof. And you know the poor people of Outworld don't play around with rich litter.

"Oh, Jade! Jeez, you startled me!" You turned around and clutched at your heart.

"Apologies." The pole lady chuckles at your reaction. She then walks to you with her usual friendly look. The beautiful face you've always loved. "What were you doing?"

"Just... a little daydreaming. Night-dreaming, you could call it." You shrugged, sitting back down. You gestured your best friend to sit by you, which she does with no hesitation.

"How are you?" You spoke.

"Very well!" Jade answers with a proud tone. "Today Kotal and I have.... and... then... he's so..."

Your mind went blank already, drowning out Jade's voice with insecure stabs internally. You haven't met Kotal, not yet and hopefully not ever, but you couldn't help but hate him.

The man attacked you by being the only one in Jade's mind and heart. You swore, it should've been you. Right?

"I wouldn't trade him for another." Jade finishes up.

"Right." Your tone accidentally came out full of disdain.

Jade faces you, her hearty smile dropping into confusion. "Is something the matter?"

"No- sorry. I'm okay. Just a little zoned out tonight." You look away, not wanting to show your saddened face to her.

She knows though. Only how you feel, not what exactly it was. All she could do was assume.

"One day, you'll find the perfect man to court you as have I." She reassured with a soft hand on your shoulder.

"No! That's not-" Your mind instantly jumped to correcting her, but... she doesn't know. How would she feel if you told her.

You scooted away from her, isolating yourself from what could feel like something once treasured being destroyed in a flash.

"Y/n. What's wrong? I'm your friend. You can tell me." The Edenian uses her sweet one to calm you.

"I don't think I will find a man, Jade. If anything, I wish I was one- wish I was Kotal." Your voice shook and your words were all vague and worrying to your friend.

"What?" She tilts her head. She is very concern about you right now. She always felt like something was up with you when you began being by yourself increasingly. She just thought you needed time to yourself like everyone does.

"You're fine just they way you are. You're strong and very importan-"

"No, Jade." You finally gathered everything and looked at her. This has always been urking you like a pustule on a morning before something important.

"I... I'm in love with you. I've been for awhile, but kept it hidden. But now that Kotal is in your life, it's been tormenting me every minute. And truthfully, I don't want our friendship to die. And I definitely don't want you to find me disgusting."

Jade's eyes widened at the confession. You waited for whatever judgement she'd give, but all that tension was pushed away with such ease from her.

She still looked caring.

"That explains a lot. I'm honored you're comfortable with telling me." Her smile slowly drops and here comes the expected part. "But I suppose you already know I'm faithful to Kotal."

"Yes. Yes, I know." You held a small smile up, still hurt from the rejection.

"We can still be friends. I care for you a lot, and that will never change. Understand me?" She tilts your lowered head up from the chin to have you see how serious she meant it.

You nod, and then she pulls you into a comforting embrace.

Jade loves you as her best friend. You will always be Y/n no matter your identity. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Writer's block fucking me up more behind the scenes🤧

[itwasthereaminuteago]

Thirsty Frank hours? Well, perfect time to send this.

Imagine... you've always been a little insecure (weight, looks, whatever) and have a particularly hard day. Frank senses your distress and want to make you feel better.

And ehm... He does make you feel reeeealy good 😏

Can just imagine him being so soft, tender, talking you through it and just... God, just being wrapped in his arms 🫠❤️

|| Reminder ||

Frank Castle x female reader

Tags/warnings: readers insecurities, soft supportive Frank, fingering, p in v unprotected sex.

A/n: thank you so very much for this ask @munsonownsmyass I've read so many mirror sex fics but I thought fuck it, I wanted to do my own with Frank! I swear this man talking sense into you in that rough and sweet way he has would fix me forever.

~

You're barely in the door, late getting back, having had an absolute shitter of a day and feeling like you just want to curl up in bed and cry about it. Frank’s already home and waiting for you, you don't even need to say anything. He knows you, inside and out. He can tell when the crushing weight of your thoughts is dragging you down and he can help lighten them.

Still, you turn away as his eyes meet yours, darkest brown and always so penetrating, stripping you bare. Sometimes you think you can't face him when you're like this, but then he sidles up next to you, his hand curling around the back of your head and holding you as he plants a light kiss on your forehead and the barriers you're ready to put up crumble.

"Hey, c'mere and tell me what's wrong." His fingers stroke over your hair and you lean against him burying your face into the soft brushed cotton of his hoodie. He smells like home and although it doesn't lift your heavy mood entirely, it helps. Frank wraps you in his arms letting you decompress a little before he'll press you any further. He leans down, laying a peck on your cheek before he guides you to sit down with him on the couch.

"It's just-" you want to tell him but it suddenly all seems stupid as the words are forming in your mouth. Frank is watching you patiently, his gaze soft and open as he lets you take all the time you need.

You sigh and try again. "We were trying on outfits, the girls and I, for Marci's wedding… and the others, they looked so beautiful and effortlessly gorgeous in everything, and I-"

You pull at a fraying thread of your sleeve and huff, angry at yourself as tears begin to well in your eyes.

"Baby, you look gorgeous in everything too."

You sit up, shaking your head. "No I don't. I just look like I'm playing dress up with my mom's clothes or something. I hate the way everything looks on me, I hate how I feel. Like everyone's staring at me because I look so dumb…"

Frank's brow forms into a deep furrow as you berate yourself, he won't stand for that shit.

"Hey, where's all this coming from? You're fuckin' beautiful darlin', I say it all the damn time but you gotta know it's the truth."

He pulls you onto his lap, gently wiping away your tears with the pad of his thumb.

"Th-they just all seem so strong and don't give a shit what people think. I can't do that, I don't know how. I've never liked how I look, or felt confident or anything… urgh, and now I'm just whining to you about it like a pathetic idiot! I'm sorry, I shouldn't- I'll go away..."

You go to get up from him but he gently clasps his hand around your wrist.

"If you wanna be alone that's okay I'll let you be, but I've got somethin' I need to show you sweetheart, if you'll let me."

You look at him, confused about what he could want to show you. He's got those big pleading puppydog eyes trained on you but underneath there's something else…

"W-what?"

He stays close to you as he rises, taking your hand in his, leading you to your bedroom and standing you opposite the wardrobe mirror in front of him.

"Oh, Frank, no please…" You cringe, turning away from your reflection but he catches you in his arms, reassuring you as he urges you to face yourself.

"Baby, I need you to see what I see." He strokes the back of his knuckles down the outside of your arm, his other hand around your waist and his head resting lightly in the space between your neck and shoulder. His lips brush a kiss to the bare skin revealed by your loose sweater.

"Look at this woman I got." He begins, and you can see him looking at all of you. Eyes flickering over every inch of you as if you were naked in front of him. "She's a goddess."

You roll your eyes, body sagging in his hold. "No she isn't."

Frank stares you down in the mirror. "You callin' me a liar?" He actually seems slightly hurt as you sigh again, then a dark look of determination crosses his features. You know you're in for it now, whatever it is.

“What I see right here in front of me, is the strongest, most confident woman that I ever laid eyes on. You see that girl taking any shit from me? Baby, all those assholes I take down in the Kitchen, they ain’t got nothin’ on you, I ain’t scared of them, but you… Christ, you’ve got me whipped.”

He holds you around the waist, his big hands warm through your clothes as his lips graze your ear. "You think you don’t look good? I’m tellin’ you, you look goddamn fucking gorgeous to me just the way you are, wearin’ what you’re wearin’.”

His tone drops an octave as he moves his hands down and hooks his fingers under the hem of your sweater, pulling it up over your head. “An’ you look good not wearin’ anything at all too…”

His fingers trail down the bare sides of your ribcage as you bring your arms back down, wrapping them around yourself. You try to shy away as his fingers come up to trace your collarbone and slowly down the cup of your bra, unraveling your arms and placing them down by your sides exposing you as he goes.

“Fuck, look at you sweetheart, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. I'm thinkin' that my baby girl needs a little reminder..."

You bite on your bottom lip as he drifts his hands to the button of your pants, undoing it and pulling the zip down slow like he’s unwrapping a precious gift. His fingers tease at the waistband of your panties as you feel the hardening shape of his cock pressed up through his jeans against your ass.

"Mm, yeah that's all you." He says, his gruff voice driving straight down to your core as he works your pants off down your legs and helps you step out of them.

"That’s what you do to me… and this ass?" His hands are all over you as he marks your soft flesh with his teeth while he's down there, making you gasp as he kisses and soothes over it and continues placing adoring kisses up over the curve of your ass cheek as he works his way up your spine.

"Frank…"

"You want me to stop?" He asks you quietly, laying another soft kiss as he reaches the base of your neck.

You glance at the two of you in the mirror. This terrifying beast of a man to most is curled around your body, holding you, touching you, intent on showing you how much he adores you. Were you going to let your insecurities get in the way of that?

"No." You commit. Deep down you know that you need this.

He nods and unzips his hoodie, taking both it and his t-shirt off revealing the canvas of scars littering his massive upper body. His own imperfections that you can never see as such. He unhooks your bra, sliding the straps down over your shoulders, following on one side with his mouth letting it drop from your arms to the floor. A sweet warmth builds within at the sensation of his skin against yours. That basic, unshakable thought that Frank is your home.

He feels the softening in you, the corner of his mouth pulling up a little as he runs his hands up the outsides of your thighs, over your hips and stomach. One hand smoothes up your chest to gently cup one of your breasts, while the other moves south, cupping your sex through your underwear. Your eyes half-close as you let him take you over.

"There's my girl." He growls as he slips his hand beneath the thin cotton of your panties, fingertips meeting the slick pooling of your arousal there. He slides his fingers through your folds, spreading the moisture around before taking your ruined underwear off and sitting down on the edge of the bed with his legs spread wide, still facing the mirror. He lifts you onto his lap like you weigh nothing, the muscles in his arms are thick and prominent, and god if that doesn't turn you on even more.

You watch as he parts your legs, placing them on the outside of his own. He drags his fingers along the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, up and up to circle around the apex of them, and you're unable to draw your eyes away from the glistening of your own exposed cunt as he touches you there. Your breathing picks up, becoming shallow while he simultaneously runs a finger and thumb over your hardening nipples, playing with and gently pinching at them. A smile spreads on his gorgeous lips as a small moan leaves your throat, your body arching, your leg muscles twitching and the throbbing pulse behind your clit ever growing with the slow pass of his talented fingers.

"That's it beautiful," He praises, his stubble scratching along the side of your face as you let your head fall back against his shoulder. He dips his middle finger into your soaking entrance, reveling in the sweet sounds you make as he pushes it slow, in and out of your pussy.

Your own hand covers his on your breast, urging him to squeeze and grope. He's rock hard underneath you now and you're getting so wet that you're soaking into the crotch of his jeans, but even so, he's intent on concentrating solely on your pleasure.

He takes his fingers away and you look up, bereft, only to see him bring them up to his mouth to suck your juices from them. You've almost forgotten how you got here.

"Taste so good baby, you know I can't ever get enough of you." He pushes two fingers inside you this time, encouraging your loud moans along with his gentle kisses up the side of your neck.

"You seein' what I'm seein' now?" he drawls, looking at your reflection. “My strong, powerful, gorgeous lady makin’ me weak for her?”

He’s a fucking liar, you think, your mouth starting to stretch into a satisfied smile. Frank Castle would give you the world if he could, you don’t make him do anything he doesn't want to. That thought gives you momentary pause, he wants you. He has always wanted you, right from the beginning.

"Fuck Frank, you always, -uhh, know exactly what to say… mmm!" You whimper and moan as he fucks you so slowly and lovingly with his fingers. He kisses and mouths at that spot just below your ear as he curls them, searching for that place inside you that will shatter you into a thousand pieces.

"It's just the truth, baby."

He's watching you in the mirror the whole time. Your eyes meet his and you reach a hand back to grasp him behind his neck, your fingertips scratching at the fuzz of short hair there while the fingers of your other hand grip and dig into the muscles of his thick thigh, nails probably bruising his skin through the denim.

His other hand leaves the plush flesh of your breast to massage the pearl of your clit and you move counter to his ministrations, bucking your hips in time with the steady rhythm he sets.

"Attagirl, take what you need, princess." The low timbre of his voice feels like another caress and has your eyes almost fluttering shut as you let him worship you. You see the way he looks at you in the mirror, enraptured by your body writhing in his arms, those dark eyes drinking in every ounce of your pleasure.

"More, Frank," it's not a request. His breath matches yours as he works to bring you to a climax. You're beautiful, stunning, my fuckin' wildest dream in all his hushed, gasped words of praise spoken against your heated skin. Your legs shake when he adds a third finger, slick, wet and noisy as he pumps them firmly. Both your lips and legs part wider as you can feel the tangled knot deep within you about to blissfully unravel. Your clit feels so sensitive and the way his finger glides and flicks over it is maddening, it's right on the edge of wanting to push him away, but Frank won't stop for anything.

"Oh! Frank, god- oh fuck-"

"Yeah that's it baby. Please darlin', let me see you." Frank Castle doesn't plead for anyone other than you.

It hits you then, coming in his lap with absolute and pure pleasure bursting through your core and spreading out in pulses through the rest of your shuddering, sweat-sheened body. Frank's mouth roves over your neck and the side of your face until you turn to meet it with your own, tongues sliding against each other as you reach your climax. He doesn't stop, only slowing down to let you ride out the thick satisfying waves that follow.

You could lie back in his arms like this for the rest of the night but you're desperate to thank him. Of course he protests, says he doesn't need taking care of but when you get up and turn around, unbuckle that belt, ease him out of his pants and take him inside you he's the one at your mercy.

You wrap your arms around his neck and shoulders, face to face now, every little sign of his deep love for you written there so plainly. The dark black of his expanded pupils as they lock on yours, the slight curl of his lip as he grunts, swears almost every curse he knows as you ride him. It's barely half a dozen frantic thrusts of your hips until he's spilling inside you with an unguarded moan, his fingers pressing into the flesh around your hips and your foreheads pressed together as you both struggle to catch your breath.

He falls back on the bed and you go along with him. All of your hangups are forgotten as you lie together, basking in the afterglow with his arms around you.

He kisses you on the top of your head. It's such a simple gesture but it makes your heart swell.

"You need any more reminding of just how amazin' you are? Just gotta give me a few minutes and I'll do it all goddamn night."

You smile wide, softly shaking your head. "You did a pretty good job of that Frank, but the moment I need you I'll be sure to let you know."

"That's right. I'm always here for you baby. You just tell me and I'll do whatever I can to help, alright?"

You nod and your lips brush his shoulder in a kiss. "Thank you, I mean it. You're so good to me."

He squeezes you tight. "How about we go get cleaned up and I'll order us some pizza for dinner. That sound good?"

.

.

Frank tags (as always, let me know if you want added/removed): @divinearchangel @saintmurd0ck @castlesnchurches @mindidjarin @hellskitchenswhore @pedrito-friskito @sweetieswiftie @shedaresthedevil @freshabogados @father4giveme @stress--relief @e-dubbc11 @whistle1whistle @tea-and-wine @emiemiemiii @imherefordeanandbones @realfernmayo @munsonownsmyass @marvelswh0re @frankcastlescumslut @chellestrash @chvoswxtch @messymissy @evilbubu @lucy-sky @yanna-banana @anna-hawk

[sephirthoughts]

Hi! I hope you had a good day today.

For the ask game, what are your thoughts on 5 and 9 for Sephiroth?

I did, thank you! I hope you had a good day, too!

ON TO THE BURNING QUESTIONS

5. Sephiroth is such a wonderful layer-cake of pathologies, it's so fun to dissect the impacts on his personality. He is autistic-spectrum, hyper-intelligent, alienated, deeply insecure, and feels he has no 'place in the world'. Despite his insistence, under Jenova's influence, that he's the chosen one and meant to rule the world, he has rock-bottom self-esteem and almost no sense of self. He knows he's different but he has no idea who he is. Add being raised in a lab, horribly abused, and treated like a weapon rather than a person his whole life, and there's not a lot of Sephiroth left.

This would affect his living space in that it'd be generic, impersonal, highly functional, basically empty, serving its purpose as a place to rest, and nothing else. Has place to lie down, has place to shower, has place to dress=meets criteria. I doubt he'd notice if there were even blankets on the bed. It's a Sephiroth storage container, more than a living space. Which is terribly sad and now I am sad. BOOOO ME

Whether he's messy or not is another question. He honestly strikes me as someone who hates disorder if he ever thinks about it. The problem is, he does not think about it. He has executive function issues (see: his bout of manic hyperfocus in the archives, where he had books just strewn everywhere and didn't eat or sleep or bathe for days), and is generally unaware of anything pertaining to his own self-care, including messiness/dirtiness, unless they become a nuisance that disrupts his current fixation.

When he was being raised in the lab, he was a child, so there were people who cleaned, cooked, washed his clothing, etc., and in SOLDIER they definitely had people to take care of those kind of domestic things, so they could focus on training. Hence, he never learned to clean up after himself.

All of this wouldn't matter much, in a living situation with custodial services, but if left to his own devices, his combined lack of awareness, neglect of his own needs, and inexperience with such things would create a perfect storm. He'd forget to take the garbage out, never pick up after himself, not do the dishes, have takeout boxes everywhere, and have no idea that dusting, mopping, vacuuming, etc. even exist as concepts. I think his living space would be kind of awful. But he wouldn't notice.

That is, until Angeal comes over, has seven simultaneous brain aneurysms, leaves and returns with Zack and cleaning supplies, and they spend the next ten hours deep-cleaning the place, while Sephiroth insists it's not that bad.

9. This accords so nicely with number 5! Because he'd be a terrible roommate.

-He'd be quiet, courteous, and never have parties or eat your food, but he'd leave stupid long silver hairs all over everything (the less said about the bathroom shower drain the better), never clean up after himself, and act confused when asked to do so.

-He is definitely the type to always be forgetting his house key. Like, he may as well not have one.

-He leaves that stupid, ultra-sharp, nine-foot-long sword just LYING AROUND WHEREVER. Someone is going to lose a foot.

-He thinks he's a great cook and likes to share his talent with people, and he's too sweetly sincere and excited about it, so you can't bear to break his heart, and you wind up gritting your teeth and smiling through a plate of sticky, pasty, mushy pasta, with sauce made from frankly baffling ingredients (you put walnuts in the marinara? ohhhh...how…interesting. is this an anchovy?).

-He casually says absolutely horrible, emotionally devastating things, without realizing they're horrible. Example:

person: my mom was so forgetful, she always used to burn the garlic bread and she'd mix up my brother's lunch box and mine half the time

sephiroth: haha yeah, i know what you mean. on several occasions, Hojo forgot to send someone to change my IV, when he left me strapped to an exam table in the basement lab for multiple days, and i nearly died of dehydration and malnutrition

person:

sephiroth: parents, right?

-Lastly, Sephiroth absolutely never wears a shirt and in fact doesn't even own one. This is not an annoying habit, this is the habit that makes all the other ones worth putting up with.

[mrs-monaghan]

We haven’t seen Jimin hangout with ANYONE in public in over half a year now! These ‘why do we see tkk hangout but not jkk’ people are so infuriatingly dumb because it’s very obvious why that is? You mean, the member who has been working nonstop and only goes home to eat and sleep isn’t wanting to go out bowling and skiing? And the two members who have been working the least, who are out socializing with many different friends, sometimes hangout together? Like? How is that so confusing to people? Jimin sees the members who are at the company more because that’s literally where he’s at working, and Jungkook sees the member who is out socializing more because they literally have the most free time, it’s not super deep. With taekook having similar interests, being around the same age, being friends and having free time, it would be weird if they DIDNT hang out some during CH2. And jkk focusing on different things for CH2 isn’t a big deal because they’re literally two different individuals with different needs and things they want to work on. Jimin wanted to tell his story and process his pandemic emotions with FACE, and he wants to work to improve various aspects of himself so he can return stronger for the team (his own words!). Jungkook has been working nonstop since he was a teenager and wanted a break to do somewhat normal twenty something things. He’s been hanging out a lot with ALL of his friends, it’s just that most of those friendships aren’t as public as Tae and Wooga Squad. And how is Jungkook supposed to hangout with Jimin’s friends when JIMIN isn’t even hanging out with Jimin’s friends? Oh but wait, JK actually just WAS with one of Jimin’s friends, but that doesn’t count for some reason right? Because that friendship isn’t as publicized and things jkk do are always downplayed.

And the people SO confident that jikook never see each other because of throwaway comments here and there need to let go of their god complexes. I bet Letter took them by surprise right? Because obviously Jikook had to meet up to talk and record it, but according to them, if Jikook haven’t explicitly said they’ve seen each other, it doesn’t count. Because they seem to think jikook would 100% let us know every time they meet up or talk. Yet… they still haven’t mentioned how Letter came about. And Taehyung casually mentioned Jimin skipped their gym date, and only thought to mention it because of someone’s ‘summoning Park Jimin’ comment on his live. Well, I bet them randomly working out together isn’t even out of the norm. Why is that so hard for people to imagine?

If you looked only at the picture from Hobi enlisting it would fit the narrative that taekook are distant from Jimin. Then you watch the actual btb and you see JK IMMEDIATELY reach out for Jimin when he arrives, and then the hug (with JK smiling so hard) and then you see him hover around Jimin the entire time, as well as vmin in the background chatting and also standing next to each other, and there you go. You realize how incredibly stupid it is to put such great importance on a singular picture when we barely see even 1% of their lives (and I won’t even go into the conversation that implies they might have had drinks the night before because it doesn’t even matter). EVERY single time we have seen Jikook together or interact they have been more than fine and extraordinarily cute (TMAs, Busan Concert + practice, Hobi enlistment, comments during lives, Run episodes, Birthday content, Jungkook’s smiles marathoning Jimin content ect). They don’t owe anyone visibility, and at this point if you think they’re distant you’re just choosing to believe that because you want to or you’re insecure and selfish for content. Idk if they’re together romantically I just know they love each other a lot in a unique way and that even during this ‘distant era’ they’ve done so many loud things exclusively for each other that they haven’t done for anyone else. If you think bowling with friends is somehow more indicative of a romantic relationship than a thirst trap, birthdays together, and an entire focused marathon then idk what to say. Even Taehyung randomly posted jikook jikook-ing for no reason on Hobi’s birthday, but I bet they burned that from their memory. And just tossing this out in case it happens bc I already see people talking about it, but if JK ends up doing another member focused live, he still did it for Jimin first when he’s had every opportunity to do so for the other members. Okay, god sorry, I’m just so sick of seeing that argument.

Ugh, sorry, one last thing. Thinking people are dating ONLY based on proximity and visibility is so incredibly stupid. People legitimately thinking yoonmin are a thing because they dropped their albums at the same time and decided to do some promotions together are ridiculous. There is literally zero logic in that. Same as thinking that means they’re suddenly somehow closer than other duos . Why, because they had March album releases? Do they hear themselves? Also putting so much importance on CH2 is really dumb. CH2 is a temporary in-between period. CH3 is obviously the end goal if we take them by their word and how often they talk about it. They all have things they want or need to do right now, but CH3 is what they’re working so hard towards and where they want to be most, NOT CH2 (by their own words!).

If you disagree with any of this;

[snappleapple]

their favorite types of kisses

people in this - dream, georgenotfound, sapnap, wilbur, punz, jschlatt, awesamdude, quackity

headcanon!

the most disgusting fluff i’ve ever written

warning - cursing, i think that’s all but if there is more please do not hesitate to tell me :)

word count - 2k

a/n: okay okay, i might’ve lied earlier about that being my last post but this was short and easy to make which is why i would like to feed my readers this early haha. anyways, enjoy and please disregard the errors in this post, i hate proof reading anything lol. also, i’ve been very indecisive on the title and i might change it later and ooh, my masterlist will be made soon. i’ve just been feeling very unproductive these days. also, please put in requests, i am so bored and dumb therefore there are no ideas in this brain. and if you’d like a part 2, i might add more people for the part 2!anyways, peace!

dream -

i get the feeling that dream’s favorite type of kisses would be cheek kisses

he just likes to watch as you struggle to reach his height

“aw look at those little legs do their thing.”

ends up with you not giving him his kiss

and mans becomes SO pouty

“y/n…come on. don’t be this way.” :(

if you don’t kiss him on the cheek, will also become SO clingy and whiny

“why won’t you KISS ME!”

clenches his fists and stomps away like a teenage girl during puberty

slamming the door to your room

so then you have to go and give him all the kisses he wants

his face is slammed into your pillow

you sit on the side of the bed and pet his hair

leading him to stare up at you with puppy dog eyes

“i will give you all the kisses you want. so stop being so pouty, you big baby.”

will literally leave zero feet of space between you and him

taps his cheek to tell you he wants kisses

when you go on dates, will literally make you stand on your tippy toes to get his kisses

does not bend down at all and actually lifts his head higher to tease you

in other words, clingy but rude hoe

george -

george is a classic romantic

he loves just lip kisses

pecks or lingering ones

he doesn’t care

mans don’t need too many kisses

nor does he need to be too clingy

total opposite of dream and sapnap *ahem clingy ahem*

if he wants a kiss,

he will come over to you and get it

doesn’t get pouty if you’re busy

just waits patiently

doesn’t enjoy it when you interrupt him when he’s streaming so you do your own thing

when you’re watching a movie with him,

he will literally only stare at you with his cute smile

and listen to your every criticism of the movie

he likes to just peck your lips whenever he feels like it

and you’re just not surprised anymore

just likes to stare at your lips whenever you talk

overall, is very sweet but not to an extent with showing affection

sapnap -

omg

sapnap just vibes with neck kisses

it tickles his neck and he loves them

giggles when you pepper kisses along his neck and flushes a deep red

“y/n. stop.” giggles between each word

but when you do, becomes the saddest person in the whole world

“i was joking.” :(

when he’s streaming and he begins to miss you

would leave his room and find you just to get a kiss

just like dream, would get angry if you give him no kisses

“GIVE ME KISSIES!”

very amusing for you

and you love to tease him

“i don’t want to give you kissies.”

continues to stare at you with a large frown until you give in and give him kissies

lsg supremacy but i’ll get into this later hehe

you better give him kisses or you’ll be dealing with a very sad sapnap

sadnap :(

wilbur -

wilbur, wilbur, wilbur

what can i even say

total nose kiss guy

i bet he’ll boop your nose twenty four seven

asks stupid questions just to get your attention

“y/n?”

“yes wilbur?”

“is a hotdog a sandwich?”

“why-“

“boop.”

“did you just say boop while you booped my nose?”

if he’s streaming and you bring him a snack

he will hold your face still and leave kisses on your nose

not too clingy but not too distant

likes to be just right with you

if its snowy outside and your noses get red

makes dumb jokes about he is rudolph and you’re mrs. rudolph

just a lot of smooches from wilby

takes you to a lot of hidden cafes in the city

and while you read, he balances his head on his palm, staring at you in admiration

if you’re insecure about your nose, you legit can’t be around wilbur because he will go on a tangent about how beautiful it is

substantially, soft boy hours all day bro, besides when he gets mad then you leave the hormonal man tf alone

punz -

i don’t see a lot of punz on tumblr so here we go

punz loves hand kisses

not to an extent where he has a hand fetish

god no but just like

when your holding hands, he’ll occasionally pull your hand up to his lips and leave a kiss

lots of hand holding

and i mean lots

constantly gets mad fun of for being a simp but ignores those comments because he genuinely loves you so much

likes it when you play with his hair and messing it up

also likes to compare hand sizes with you

always has a hand on your thigh or your hand in his whenever he is driving somewhere with you

even when you go on dates, always holding hands

no matter how sweaty your hand gets, he will hold on

sometimes if he holds on for too long, you have to tell him to let go

“punz, my hand is super sweaty. lets take a break from the hand holding.”

would flat out decline so you would have to pry your hand out of his

he would also love it when you would kiss his hand

makes him feel all polite and precious LOL

would also wrap his pinky along yours when you walk together

he once came with you to a family gathering for christmas and was so SHY

shy boy held your hand for security while your younger siblings made fun of you

afterwards, when you were under a mistletoe, he kisses you on the lips before kissing you on his favorite part of your body,

your hand

c!jschlatt -

jschlatt is a whole mess

the first time you met, he confessed that he would hate you for as long as you lived because you made fun of his boots

now he says he still strongly dislikes you but you’re more tolerable

doesn’t like it when you make him soft and HATES it when he blushes

“why must you do this to me, mother nature?”

also “hates” it when you even touch him because he “hates” you

when he actually confessed to you that he liked you with his grumpy usual grandpa voice,

you kissed him on his forehead, after he bent down of course

he is an actual giant and threatens to squash you like an ant if he feels the need to

is an absolute monster to you but loves it when you kiss his forehead because it makes him feel secure and loved

likes to watch the wind blow through your hair and mess it up but gives you his hat because he like you being “all pretty and shit”

gets SUPER jealous when you hug children

like for example, when you went over to a family gathering at his house, his cousins came up to hug you

and when you let go of the child, the man child comes and lugs you over his shoulder

gets yelled at by his mom and gives her a sheepish smile before rolling his eyes and throwing you down on the sofa set next to him

his mom doesn’t approve of the way he treats you but you tell her its fine because he’s cute

when you are far from any type of civilization or in the safety and solitude of your own home, he wants kisses on the forehead

pointing up to it and bending down so you could reach it

“y/n, i only love you because of your forehead kisses.”

“you only love me for my kisses?” :(

“mhm.”

actually feels slightly bad

“and because of your personality.”

“thank you-“

“shut up. we don’t talk about this.”

in conclusion, give him his forehead kisses or perish

awesamdude -

sam just adores it when you give him jawline kisses

not because it’s basically the only place you could reach but because it’s a sweet gesture

sam is all about sweetness

i mean have you even seen this man on his stream

he likes to watch you while you have conversations with your friends

not in a creepy way but more like an adoring way

cause man does he love you

i mean not only does he love you but his whole family does

and when you’re alone with sam, you love to bury him underneath all of your love

“i love you sam!”

“no i love you more y/n!”

“NO i LOVE you more!”

“NO i LOVE you MORE!”

“SAM NO. I LOVE YOU MORE!”

“okay thank you sweet pea.”

leaving you a bit confused but happy that he accepts your love

when you cuddle, omg

he never stops peppering kisses all over your face and vice versa because your relationship is disgustingly fluffy

when he lends you one of his sweatshirts, you sure as hell better wear that shit out or else (i am leaving a blank threat here)

sam loves technology but you guys sort of have a system

a system that involves mailing each other love letters rather than texting them

you guys also go on a ton of walks just about anywhere

hand holding is mandatory even though you probably look like a child compared to him

just give sam lots of love and in return, you’ll receive lots of love

quackity -

mans cannot leave you tf alone

likes to do ANYTHING freaky around you

“i will follow you to the ends of the earth, mi amor.” or

“ayy, back off.” if anyone gets too close to you

messes with you twenty four seven and makes it his job to drive you insane

plays horror games at two in the morning for fun

and when he gets scared, hides in the safety of your arms

“mi amor. i’m scared.”

“shut the fuck up and sleep, alex.”

“okay.” shuts up quickly and snuggles deeper into the crook of your neck

loves you so deeply but HATES your cat

“look at that little dumb thing stare at me. you got a problem bro?”

your cat also HATES alex

scratches him all the time and hisses at him

if you think sapnap is babie, wait till you meet alex

“y/n he bit me!”

when you glance down, you don’t even see a scratch

“kiss my boo boo.”

wtf

“what boo boo? there’s nothing there.”

gasps as if you offended him

“this boo boo that your el demonio did to me.”

this man will do anything to get boo boo kisses

istg, you once found him provoking your cat to get some scratches

in alex’s mind, ouchies = kisses from y/n

always has ouchies from god knows where and shows it to you

even though you find it annoying at first, you grow used to it and it sorta becomes your thing with alex

alex is babie and you need to take good care of him :)

[iwadori]

Haikyu boys when they make you insecure PT 1 (Kenma,Kuroo)

Part 1 Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6.

Word Count:3k 

genre: angst, fluff

masterlist

Kenma:

You and Kenma have been in a long distance relationship for a while.

Both of you stream, Kenma doing it seriously for his job and you just playing it for fun,

Sometimes you stream together of course but because of your difference in audiences and games you don’t do it all the time

“Bye guys! Hope you enjoyed todays stream” You wave off to the camera and shut off your PC taking a few sips of water.

Kenma: Hey.. nice stream today Y/N are you going to watch mine?

Y/N: Of course I will 

Kenma: Ok talk to you later

Y/N: okayy <3

Kenma is what inspired you to stream, he also taught you all the ins and outs of streaming making sure you were set and ready. Your gaming style was very relaxed and friendly as you obviously weren’t streaming as a career just for fun and to make friends with your online viewers. The games you played were usually: minecraft, COD, Sims 4, Roblox, Animal crossing and *Insert your favourite game here* the way I literally named all the games I play 

You wait for Kenmas stream to start, kind of excited as you’ve always loved seeing your boyfriend in his ‘element’ when it comes to playing to games. As your boyfriends stream starts you see he’s already chosen what game he is playing today which is to your surprise Call of duty, since that was the game you were playing earlier.

As he gets into the stream you are entertained, as always since Kenma was being his usual self laughing at his own deadpan jokes and interacting with his viewers. He is currently waiting for his capture the flag game to start so as he waits he decides to read some comments in the chat.

You’re used to the usual ‘Kenma where is Y/N I miss your usual streams together’ or ‘kenma please RAIL me’ which always makes you laugh. You were also used to the common hate comments Kenma and You both got on your streams but you were definitely not ready for this..

@ Ihatewomanandiamadick : Hey Kenma did you see your girls stream today she is so dog shit at COD lmaoooo jhdfkjdrhdrr

“Well hello ihatewomenandiamadick” started Kenma “but yes I did see Y/N stream and obviously she is not the best at games and I would definitely NOT ask her to team with me for any serious gaming competitions ... but she’s fun to watch I guess” as he finished speaking about you his game loaded up so he focused his attention on that the words he just spoke going to the back of his mind as they end up at the forefront of yours.

You obviously knew you were no match for Kenma’s gaming expertise but you didn’t expect him to publicly agree with a hate comment let alone add more of his imput on you. Did he really think that about you? ‘She’s fun to watch I guess’ did he not even enjoy your streams that much?

You wanted to distract yourself, and you definitely couldn’t do that watching him so you close off of his stream and get in your bed deciding to watch your favourite show. 

Waking up at 6pm after your sad nap, you see that Kenma has left some messages to you,

Kenma: hey did you watch my stream?

Kenma: do you want to facetime later and play some minecraft..?

Kenma: y/n r u ok??

Y/N: oh hey cnt play minecraft w you rn not really in the mood..

Kenma: oh ok..

Time passed since then a month to be exact and you basically dropped off of the face of the earth, you weren’t in the mood to do anything let alone game and stream, which was a constant reminder of your boyfriend (something you didn’t want at the time.) 

You felt embarrassed over all the things he said about you and all the things you now think he thinks about you and the way you play. Maybe he thinks even worse things about you, beyond just how you game? What if he doesn’t even genuinely like you...or he has someone else...it does make sense, you do both live miles and miles away from eachother AND he’s a big streamer you see the amount of girls in his comments.

You shake your head to erase your protruding thoughts coming in your mind, but it doesn’t really help. You and Kenma haven’t spoken much over this month he tried to constantly reach out to you at first but you assume he got bored over your constant, repetitive dry texts. So you were almost content with you and Kenma not even being in a relationship anymore.

However on Kenma’s side, he was beyond worried about you. Since you haven’t been streaming or barely responded to his texts he thought something happened to you, but he didn’t want to be seen as ‘overstepping boundaries’ if there was nothing wrong at all with you and you simply were just ‘not in the mood.’ 

So here he is, in Kuroo’s apartment trying to get him to help him out on finding out what is wrong with you.

“So kenma can you remember what happened the day when Y/N went ‘ghost’“ asked Kuroo in a mock detective voice

“Y/N didn’t go ‘ghost’ Kuro, and take this seriously” said Kenma “I’m worried bout her”

“Okay fine, but for real what’s the last thing you remember before she started acting all weird.” 

“Umm I think it was around a month ago I did my saturday stream and I think she was on it but she didn’t leave her usual nice comments throughout”

“Ohh that was the stream when you sai-” Kuroo said before pausing his words as the memory of what Kenma said about you on his stream came in his mind, as even Kuroo thought it was a tad bit harsh for Kenma to say all those things “I think I know why Y/N has been so distant kiddo”

“What why?” Asked Kenma

Kuroo pulls out his phone and brings up the clip off what Kenma said and Kenma’s face cringes ‘did he really say all those things about you’ he thinks. 

“Shit.. I didn’t know I said all of that” he said quietly “how do I make it up to her?”

“There’s only one thing you can really do Kenma” said kuroo

You are woken up out of your sleep by a knock on the door. Getting out your bed like a zombie, you trudge to your front door only surprised by what you see. There in his 5′6 glory stood your ‘boyfriend’ Kenma with a controller and a kitten teddy in his hand. You were very tempted to shut the door in his face and get back to your dreamless sleep but you waited on him to speak.

“Hi Y/N” he said quietly “wanna play some minecraft...?”

“Why so you can ridicule me on how shit I am?” You ask bitterly ready to shut the door on him

“No! No not all” he said stopping you from shutting the door entering your place “Y/N i’m really sorry on what I said, I wasn’t thinking AT ALL... I love watching your streams and I think you’re great at playing games...I was just being a dick,”

You take a deep breath before tears pool in your eyes “what you said really hurt me kenma..” you say “ I know people say shitty things on the internet all the time... it’s the internet. But I wasn’t expecting you to agree with the hater and say even more shitty things on top of that.. I don’t think I want to even stream anymore”

Upon hearing that, Kenma’s mouth parts open with shock ‘you dont want to stream anymore’ were his comments that bad? Now he feel even worse as he should and is now more determined to make things right. 

He impulsively drags your arm into your game room, catching your surprise ‘what is he up too?’ you think. He stops for a second seeing your usual pristine gaming set up, collected up with dust. 

“What are you do-” you start 

“Just wait!” He says, as he rushes away turning on all your stuff and logging onto his twitch account as he sees the views go up he starts to speak

 “Hi guys, its me kodzuken and today I’m here on stream with my beautiful girlfriend and today I want to say..” he turns to you “Y/N im so sorry for the horrible things I said to you that day... I was just being a dick and I’m sorry I really am.”

You look at the chat and you see some confusion and some people recalling his words from last month. “It’s fine Kenma, I forgive you” you say giving him a hug”

“Okay Y/N, so what do you say... wanna beat my ass at bed wars?” He says with a smirk 

“When have I ever loss?” you return his smirk

Of course you did beat his ass as bed wars for rounds on rounds never losing proving yourself to actually be a good gamer girl. You enjoyed your time with Kenma, forgetting what he said before about you and moving on. 

Eventually, you guys moved in together and streamed together all the time and yes you still do play for fun but you’ve gotten way better at COD (some may say better then Kenma) but who is better didn’t matter to any of you, as long as you got to play together that’s all you both cared about.

Kuroo:

Kuroo and you have been together since you were in your first year of high school 

You met as friends first when you got him to tutor you in chemistry ( a subject you still aren’t that good at.)

Now you have your upcoming entrance exams for university in a month so your school has you doing mock exams in preparation for them.

20%

You look down at your chemistry paper that your teacher just handed you. 20%. You’re surprised, very surprised since out of all your subjects (that you go 90+% on) you studied on the chemistry test the hardest ensuring Testurou, that you didn’t need his help at all. But I guess it turns out, you did.

This failing mock grade put a blunder on your day, you didn’t interact with anyone and didn’t want to see your boyfriend so you skipped your usual routine of meeting him on the rooftop and went to the library instead ‘might aswell start early on your studying’ you thought.

As you were going over your chemistry topics, you hear an ‘ahem’ next to you and you turn your head only to find your boyfriend and his friends next to you. Kuroo with his usual goofy smile on his face. 

“Hey kitten where were you at lunch?” he asked 

“Needed to go to the library, Chemistry is kicking my ass” you mumbled 

“Oya” he said as he noticed your chemistry test laying under your textbook “20%, well damn Y/N I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t know you were that stupid” he laughed doing his stupid usual hyena-like laugh.

Ouch well that hurt. You slightly flinched at his words, “Really your name, you didn’t know the molecular formula for ethanol, that’s first year work” he said continuing to laugh “I’m pretty sure that’s one of the first things I tutored you on when we first met” 

His overbearing laughter was not good for you, you were already having a bad day and yes you do know your not that good at chemistry but you didn’t need your chemistry-enthusiast boyfriend to make fun of you for failing. Kenma and Yaku stood there awkwardly obviously aware of how bad Kuroo is making you feel but they didn’t really know how to stop his friend in the moment.Whilst he’s still dying of laughter you decide to pack up your stuff and leave the library.

You managed to get your Chemistry tutor to let you retake your mock paper in a week so that means, extra hard studying with no distractions you definitely can’t fail again. Since studying on your own was definitely not a good option, and you couldn’t go to Kuroo (especially after he ridiculed you) you decided to ask the second smartest person you know to tutor you.

Y/N: Hey Yaku! Can I ask you a favour?

Yaku: Hi Y/N what do you need??

Y/N: I have my chemistry retake next week, and as you know from your loud-loud friend I failed my recent test so can you tutor me?? 

Y/N: Pleaseeee

Yaku: Ok Y/N why can’t you ask Kuroo you know that he’d be more than happy to help

Y/N: Yakuu pleasee just help me out 

So there you was, nearly a week done with your study sessions with Yaku and you’re feeling way more confident than before. 

“Y/N what is the functional group of a Carboxylic Acid” Yaku asked

“umm... COO?” 

“Great! that’s correct Y/N” he praises i dont actually know if it’s correct or not

You then hear a knock at Yaku’s front door and hear his mum let the person in, Kuroo then enters Yaku’s bedroom with shock plastered on his face surprised to see you here.

“Y/N...hey?” he says confused “what are you doing here?”

“Oh Mori-chan is just helping me with chemistry for my retake tommorow” you say nochalantly internally smiling at the twinge in Kuroo’s face at the purposeful use of Yaku’s first name.

“So why didn’t you ask me to help you know I’m a chemistry whiz” he asks

“Maybe I’m too stupid to be taught under your tutelage” you mumble “since I seem to forget whatever you teach me, even when it’s 3 years ago... but ok”

“Y/N I-” he starts 

“Oh save it Kuroo, I have studying to do” you say cutting him off

“But I-” he tries

“So Mori-chan COOH is the function group of ethyl ethonate right?” you ask ignoring your boyfriend who is now at a lost for words

“ummm yeah it is” says yaku who is clearly feeling heavily awkward at the tension in his bedroom.

Kuroo leaves and you and yaku finish off the studying for the night, you did feel a little bad for being a bit mean to Kuroo but it’s karma for him being a dick to you. 

You wake up the next day ready for your exam which was first thing in the morning, before you hand in your phone you see a message from Kuroo,

Kuroo: I know you’re still mad at me, but I think you’re going to do so well on this test. You’re not stupid at all, you’re really smart and I love you < 3 

Kuroo: Good luck Y/N

You don’t respond to the message but smile at the sincerity of it and thankful for the boost of confidence it gave you before you start your exam.

Finishing the exam with a smile, you were confident you did well as everything you and Yaku went over was on the paper and you’re almost certain you atleast got more than 75%. You have to wait an hour before your teacher can give you your results, so in the meantime you might aswell reconcile with Kuroo.

When you exit the classroom, standing there was Kuroo who seemed to have been waiting for you for the whole duration of the exam.

“So how was it?” Kuroo asked, apprenhensive as he assumed you would just ignore him like you did at Yaku’s house.

“It was fine, I think it went alright..” you say

“Kuroo”

“Y/N”

You say simultaneously, he pauses for a second to let you speak “I’m sorry I was being so stand offish when we were at Yaku’s I just wanted you to see I could do it on my own, and when you called me stupid I really took that to heart since you and I both know that Chemistry wasn’t ever my best subject” 

“I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, and since it was only a practice test I didn’t think you’d take it to heart but I am sorry I know you aren’t stupid.”

Before you got to say anything else, your Chemistry teacher exited the room with your chemistry paper in hand. Kuroo grabbed your hand anticipating your nerves and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Miss L/N” said your teacher “Well done on your chemistry test” he turned your test around to sure a perfect 100%. Both you and Kuroo gasped, you were elated to say the least you wanted to jump up and down in excitement but a PERFECT 100%.

“I’d also like to add that you have now got the top chemistry score in the school beating the previous title holder Kuroo Testurou” said your teacher, this made Kuroo open his mouth even wider in surprise nearly making you giggle at his response. 

Your teacher took his leave, leaving you and Kuroo in the hallway “ I guess i’m the chemistry whizz now “ you say wiggling your eyebrows just as Kuroo did to you before at Yaku’s this made him chuckle as he came to put his arm around you.

“Y/N don’t get ahead of yourself now, you may have won this battle but I will win the war” he said smiling

In the final exam, you continue your winning streak also getting a near 100% and still beating Kuroo which didn’t matter to either of you, now you’re just like him cracking chemistry puns and jokes all the time which none of your friends appreciated but atleast Kuroo found them SODIUM funny.

AN: Please kill me for the last line of Kuroos, I didn’t really like Kuroo’s since it was a bit self indulgent with my hate for chemistry but what do you guys think?

[doobnnoob-tf2]

what do you think the mercs biggest insecurities are? (if this is fine to ask about ^^")

trust me, I'm down to answer almost anything - I love deep diving into these guys!

Scout: his “boyish charm”.  he strives to be some kinda heartthrob but he’s always brushed off as baby-faced and cute.  he sees the other guys around him and sees how people stare at them from afar with a dreamy gaze in their eye, and he’s lucky if some mom comes over and asks if he’s lost in the grocery store.

Soldier: his intelligence.  let’s face it, he’s not the brightest.  but ignorance is bliss and he’s one happy guy.  the thing is he doesn’t realize he’s being stupid, and once he realizes it hits him hard.  he won’t show it, but later when he’s alone he’ll dwell on it for a bit.

Pyro: their scars.  they’re covered in burn scars on their body, not that anyone would know that.  they’ll never tell the story on where they came from.  they’re just glad none of it is on their face - not that they’d reveal that to anyone either.  they still love fire, and the marks are just a grim reminder you don’t fuck around with it.  it’s a reminder to respect it.

Demoman: his accent.  he’s proud of his heritage, but when he goes off on a tangent he can see the confusion on everyone’s faces.  it’s both awkward and frustrating having to explain what you’ve said so people can understand you.  no one ever makes him feel bad about it, they’re all very nice actually.  but he tries to make the effort to control it a lot.

Heavy: his size.  he has a love-hate relationship with how large of a man he is.  on one hand, it makes her perfect for being a big defender.  he can take the frontline for his team, or fight bears to feed his family.  but on the other hand, it makes him very self conscious around those much smaller than he is.  he’s always worried about hurting someone without meaning to.  some days are much better than others, some days are much worse.  he goes back and forth a lot with how he feels about himself.

Engineer: his work ethic.  he’s very driven in his work, almost a little too much.  it gets exhausting but he has a hard time shutting his brain off and relaxing.  drunken engineering projects with the team are fun, but when everyone just wants to relax and hang out?  he’s fidgety.  he’s wanting to go down and tinker with something, and it makes him feel bad because he feels like his team doesn’t realize how much he enjoys being around them.

Medic: his eyesight.  he knows it’s ridiculous when some of the others on the team don’t have good eyes either.  but being so near-sighted is a pain at times for him.  he can barely see his hands in front of his face without his glasses.  and his glasses constantly need to be cleaned, and the hassle of getting news one is always a pain.  his birds are constantly moving them when he takes them off to sleep and having to fumble around to find them is embarrassing.

Sniper: his nose.  his mum always loved it but he hates it.  when he gets flustered, it turns even redder than the rest of his face.  it’s the reason why when he gets flustered he hides his face in his hat.  it’s big and awkward and he hates it when someone says anything about it.

Spy: his face.  he rarely has his mask off, sometimes he even forgets what he looks like.  he’s getting up there in age and he knows he’s not in his golden years anymore and it genuinely eats away at him.  he can smooth talk his way out of anything, but he knows the lack of a proper face adds to the mystery and makes people swoon.  he doesn’t think he looks good anymore and frets anyone he got close enough with to take his mask off for would agree.

[kyovtani]

𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 – 𝒊𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒛𝒖𝒎𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒋𝒊𝒎𝒆

࿏ pairing: iwaizumi hajime x chubby female reader ࿏ genre: fluff, smut, angst; best friends to lovers!AU ࿏ word count: 11.6k (at this point i have no explanation, im sorry) ࿏ warnings: swearing, mentions of body image issues, self doubts, anxiety, bullying, fat shaming; as well as violence and blood (iwa gets into a fight mwah); ddlg (daddy dom-little girl) dynamics, soft dom!iwa, body worship, praising, sugarcoated degradation, spitting, choking, fingering, face riding, unprotected sex

࿏ Summary: After four years of trying to get over your stupid crush on your best friend, said male finally comes back home and all of a sudden all of those plans are thrown overboard...

Even though you‘ve known about it for so long now, you still feel your heart skip a beat when Matsukawa mentions his return to Japan and no matter how hard you try to, you can‘t help the way the disgusting mixture of anxiety, nervousness and excitement starts filling your veins.

After all it‘s been literal years since you‘ve last seen him.

Iwaizumi Hajime, former Seijoh Ace, now freshly majored athletic trainer, your best friend of ten years and — love of your life.

However, of course he doesn‘t know about the latter and as pathetic as it may sound, you‘re quite proud of yourself for hiding your feelings for him so well that he hasn‘t suspected anything in all these years the two of you have been friends.

Of course it‘s painful and basically nothing but literal torture to watch the guy you‘ve lost your heart to years ago, move on with his life thinking he‘s nothing but a friend to you, but you know you‘d always choose this pain over the one of rejection and shame.

Because after all you‘re not his type or what he looks for in a partner and you're very much aware of it.

And no matter how many times you daydream about a life as his girlfriend, you won’t ever forget about the fact that Iwaizumi Hajime, basically a literal athlete, would never date someone who looked like you.

Growing up on the bigger side, physically wise, has always been difficult and something you're struggling with to this day. You had always hoped for those extra pounds to disappear once you hit puberty, just like it had happened to all of your friends but those hopes were quickly destroyed when you still found yourself hiding from full length mirrors to avoid having to look at your own body in your third year of High School.

By the time you turned eighteen, you had tried every kind of diet in hopes of losing weight but all of them just ended with you losing motivation and every bit of your happiness and even though you still struggle with it in your mid-twenties, you‘ve come to terms with it.

This is who you are and despite taking literal decades to realize it, you‘ve slowly but surely started accepting it.

However, when it comes to relationships, you‘ve given up completely.

After years and years of being rejected, hidden, fat shamed and disrespected by men who hated their own attraction to bigger women, you stopped wasting your time and energy on dating. If you wanted to hear someone shame you for being big, you could just go home to your family or back in your memory to remember all those mean things the skinny girls in your school had thrown at you.

Or you could just look in the mirror and let your brain do the job after eating literally anything.

Just thinking about a guy like Iwaizumi looking at you in that way has you chuckling coldly and every time you imagine confessing to him, it ends with a broken heart on your side because your brain loves to keep things realistic and never once have you considered the possibility of him liking you back.

It‘s not that Iwaizumi, or any of the Seijoh Volleyball boys, have treated you badly or even slightly differently in the three years you were their manager, but after having to deal with fat shaming your whole life, it has become quite difficult for you to believe that anyone found you attractive at all.

Especially people like the widely known Seijoh third years who also happen to – still – be your closest friends.

And unfortunately, as glad as you are that Iwaizumi remains rather oblivious to your year-long crush on him, the other boys, including the professional athlete to be, Oikawa Tōru who’s currently living his best life in Argentina are pretty much aware of your feelings for the trainer.

So, just as usual whenever the topic of Iwaizumi Hajime enters the conversation between the other two, you’re met with pitying stares from Takahiro and a lot of teasing coming from Issei. But at this point you’ve gotten quite used to it and don’t mind the brunette’s words, whereas you still find yourself growing absolutely annoyed at the way Makki stared at you.

“Stop staring at me like that, Hiro!”, you hiss and roll your eyes, the pity in his face so evident, if you didn’t know any better you’d think he’s mocking you.

“Just confess to him already!”, the strawberryblonde hisses, running one of his pale hands through his locks before he takes a big sip from his beer.

“Yeah, sure!”, you spit back, your words dripping in sarcasm and annoyance as you try to avoid your chest from growing even heavier at the thought of your best friend coming back after all those years.

“He broke up with that blondie months ago”, Matsukawa begins, his naturally sleepy gaze roaming your face attentively, “and he’s coming back to Japan. Now you really have no excuse left, Y/N”, and just as usual his words hit the right spot and all you can do is let out a shaky sigh before the intensity of your insecurities breaks down onto you like a huge wave.

“I‘m not his type, Mattsun”, you hiss, the bitter taste of reality coating the muscle of your tongue in the worst way possible, “and I‘ve had enough males reject and– or fat shame me. If I have to add Hajime to that list as well, it’s going to break me.”

You feel the two males’ soft gazes on you, whereas you can‘t help but focus on the napkin in between your fingers in hopes of distracting yourself from all those dark thoughts by nervously pulling at it.

“Iwa‘s not like that, Y/N”, Makki replies, brows furrowed in irritation; something you've grown quite used to seeing whenever the topic of your body image issues occured.

“Has he ever dated a big girl before, hm?”, you reply and look at him with arched brows and your lips pressed into a thin line. At the lack of response from the two men in front of you, you just lean back and nod.

“That‘s the point”, you take another deep, shaky breath; the tears threatening to spill from your glossy eyes at the thought of your pretty faced best friend and only men in your heart, “nobody likes women who look like me in that certain way, my loves. Every guy I‘ve been and slept with wanted to hide me or the relationship we had because they didn‘t want to be seen with a big girl.”

Suddenly you‘re hit with the memory of all those times you went home after any kind of intercourse with a male who had brought your hopes up with sugarcoated lies. Only to receive a harsh reality check when they asked you to not tell anyone about it, knowing it‘s simply because of the fact you aren‘t part of society‘s beauty standards.

“Y/N, we-”, “I‘m not talking about you two”, you‘re quick to interrupt Hanamaki, giving him a soft smile, “I know you don‘t care about it and sometimes I find myself wishing I would have fallen for one of you instead of the professional trainer”, you let out an empty, coldhearted chuckle before you finish your glass of wine in one go.

“I would fuck you without hesitation”, Mattsun shrugs, his plump lips stretching into a playful smirk and the tiny hint of seriousness in his gaze has you rolling your eyes with a soft scoff.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Issei”, Makki hisses and gives his best friend the same reaction as you.

“What? I‘m being serious! You know this isn‘t the first time I‘m offering this to you, pretty one”, the brunette replies and this time you can‘t help but chuckle softly at his words, showing him your appreciation for his ability to make such heavy topics vanish from the surface so easily.

“Thank you, Issei but that guy I met on Tinder has been ghosting me for two weeks after we fucked and that‘s why I‘ve had enough dick for now”, and just when you let your gaze roam over the brunette‘s handsome face, you watch Hanamaki‘s face brighten up suddenly and furrow your brows in confusion.

“Hearing Y/N talk about dick is definitely not what I was expecting to come back to but it‘s surely a surprise!”

And upon hearing the familiar voice of your best friend, you understand the reason behind the change in Makki’s expression.

You watch the other two get up from their chairs, approaching the freshly majored trainer with the biggest smiles plastered on their faces whereas you try your best to stay as calm as possible.

However, the simple thought of Iwaizumi coming back had already stressed you out and having him stand behind you in all his glory made the tightness in your chest and the struggle to take proper breaths intensify just like that.

After what feels like an eternity you finally get yourself to stand up as well, turning around literally convinced you‘re ready to see him again after all these years only for it to be the exact opposite.

Your heart skips a whole beat at the sight of Iwaizumi and for a quick second you feel yourself getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen in your lungs.

“Hey”, he mumbles, his voice deep and raspy, something you‘re used to since the two of you have been talking regularly on the phone over the time yet hearing it in person again sends a jolt of hot arousal right into your core.

You nervously let your eyes roam his face; taking in the sight of his features, which have become even sharper during his absence. A soft sigh falls past your lips when you find the little scar right underneath his eyebrow which he had gotten back in middle school during one of his volleyball practices. The familiarity and feeling of security in the soft expression of his pretty, dark green eyes calms you down in an instant and by the time you feel your muscles ease up a bit, he‘s already approaching you with open arms.

Different than you’ve expected from yourself, you‘re quick to wrap your arms around his slim waist, taking him into your embrace with the intention of never letting him go again and at the feeling of his big hands on your body, you can‘t help but tear up a little.

You sniffle softly against the crook of his neck, Iwaizumi letting out a breathy chuckle at your sweet reaction as he caresses your back gently, subconsciously massaging your soft flesh to calm you down even more.

“Seems like someone missed me a lot more than she wanted to admit on the phone, hm?”, Iwa mumbles softly, placing the sweetest kiss on the top of your head as he holds you tight.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki let out a row of deep chuckles, partly laughing at your obvious reaction and partly because of their best friend‘s blatant oblivion.

“Shut up”, you reply with a sniff, taking in the light yet intense smell of his aftershave as well as the scent of detergent you had missed oh so much.

“Enough now, Y/N”, Mattsun huffs, “you can cuddle his stupid ass some other time, let‘s catch up with Mister America”, he adds and you know too well the tall brunette simply does it to stop you from falling even further into this dark hole you‘ve dug yourself; all those years ago.

Throughout the whole night, you stay rather quiet; listening to Iwaizumi‘s stories, more so to his voice but definitely his stories, too.

And every time he mentions some random girl he hooked up with or one of his ex girlfriends, you can literally feel the way he‘s avoiding your gaze; his eyes moving away from your face to focus on the guys as his voice turns a little less enthusiastic. You try your best not to read anything into it, knowing he‘s always been more hesitant towards you when it came to topics like this and in some way you find yourself appreciating it because it definitely helps to make the pain in your chest a little less heavy.

The atmosphere between the four of you remains calm; the familiarity something you‘ve always missed despite you and the other two boys spending just as much time together as you used to back in High School. Having Iwaizumi in your little circle again definitely has changed the air and it‘s in times like these you realize just how close you all actually are.

However, when Hanamaki and Matsukawa both stand up, cigarettes firmly placed between their plump lips, telling the two of you to give them a few minutes, you feel yourself slowly wandering into a state of anxiousness and slight panic.

It‘s not like you haven‘t talked to him alone during his stay in America, but the thought of having to look him in the eyes as you speak has always been something you‘ve struggled with.

Iwaizumi has this certain expression in his beautiful, dark green eyes, which makes it so much harder to not fall for him even more.

You don‘t know if it‘s the confidence and lack of insecurity or the mixture of softness and home which have the butterflies in your stomach go absolutely crazy.

Neither of you say anything for a good minute, your eyes glued to your phone screen which continuously lights up; Oikawa‘s name appearing several times.

You excuse yourself to give the professional athlete the responses he‘s waiting for, rolling your eyes at his way of telling you to shoot your shot at Iwa and “get that D”.

“Are you still talking to that one guy you told me about?”, Iwaizumi suddenly says, his eyes never once leaving yours and with a soft chuckle, you shake your head; enjoying the amount of protectiveness dripping from his words.

“We fucked and then he ghosted me”, you say casually, not realizing that it‘s not one of the other two boys you‘re talking to and with a soft gasp of embarrassment you try to mumble your way out of the situation.

“Iwa, I‘m-”, “Why the fuck would he even do that? Give me his fucking address so I can introduve his kneecaps to my baseball bat”, he‘s quick to interrupt you harshly, his tone filled with anger as his eyes gleam with wrath.

“It‘s okay”, you smile softly, placing your hand on his balled fists to calm him down again, “he told me not to tell anyone that we did it so his intentions have never been good. And on top of that – his dick game was so bad, I didn‘t even get to finish but had to take care of it myself, so it‘s definitely not worth the headache.”

You watch Iwaizumi‘s expression darken even further, his beautiful dark green eyes roaming your face with irritation oozing from his gaze and for a second you like to believe that there‘s even a hint of jealousy in between all those intense emotions but just as usual you find yourself shaking it off rather quickly.

“Why did he ask you not to tell anyone? What the fuck is even wrong with that guy?”, the brunette spits, downing the rest of his beer in one go.

You know why he‘s this angry and at this point you can’t even blame him anymore. Iwaizumi has never really understood why you put up with guys who treated you like absolute shit; continuously telling you how you deserved so much better and even though you wanted to agree, you simply couldn‘t. Because in your head, all those men who were ashamed of being with you yet still found their way to your door were exactly what was meant to be your life.

“Because being with a woman like me isn‘t anything he‘s proud of, Iwa”, you sigh, the words heavy and bitter on your tongue as you struggle to voice the hard reality.

“A woman like you?”, he replies and you see the genuine confusion on his handsome face, making his oblivion sweet almost.

“A big woman, Iwaizumi. Guys don‘t date big girls because we don‘t fit into society‘s beauty standards so being with us is something they‘re ashamed of because God forbid someone thinks they find us attractive“, you nervously play with the hem of your skirt, not having the courage to look into his face as those thing leave your lips, too embarrassed to meet his usually so welcoming and soft, but now wrath-filled gaze.

“That‘s bullshit”, Hajime is quick to spit back, hating the way you belittle yourself like that because of a random guy.

You smile, a soft scoff falling past your lips before you take a sip from the glass in front of you and even though you know you‘re going to regret those words, you still can‘t get yourself to stop from leaving you.

“Then why have you never dated a big girl, Haji?”, your voice is slightly shaky yet you remain the eye contact like a champion, never once averting your gaze from his handsome face even though the thrumming of your heart in your throat makes it so much more difficult to stay focused.

Iwaizumi seems taken aback; your words obviously hitting a place he wasn‘t expecting and that‘s when the feeling of guilt reaches its peak.

“I‘m not- It‘s not because I don‘t find them attractive I just- I uhm-”, the freshly majored professional trainer stumbles over his words like a two-year-old who just started learning how to speak and at the sight of a deep blush covering the apples of his cheeks as well as the tip of his nose and the whole of his neck, you let out a soft sigh.

“You don‘t have to explain yourself, Iwaizumi. I wasn‘t trying to accuse you of anything or offend you in any way, I promise. It’s just a topic I‘ve grown really tired of in the past few years”, you explain, making sure to choose your words carefully and when the tall male suddenly starts calming down again, you know you‘ve got him.

“Y/N, look-”, “Hey, Y/N the weak-dick-game guy is sitting at the bar with his ugly friends, just for your information”, Matsukawa‘s deep voice quickly cuts Iwaizumi off, his words sending shivers down your spine in the most disgusting way possible and with an almost painful roll of your eyes, you down the rest of your best friend‘s beer.

“Wait- What? Which one is it?”, Iwaizumi grunts, the calmness from a few seconds ago completely gone as you look at him with brows furrowed in slight irritation and annoyance.

“It doesn‘t matter, Iwa”, you say and wrap your fingers around his tattooed wrist, making him look into your eyes with another soft exhale, “he‘s not worth it. Just let it go.”

“Y/N, I said”, Iwaizumi is quick to place one of his big hands on your cheek, the dominance in his aura and the authority gleaming in his eyes has you gasping for air and just as usual you feel your panties growing wetter by the minute, “which one is it?”

His words don‘t leave room for protest; so strict and demanding, no matter how hard you try to think rationally, his naturally dominant persona has you submitting to him in a way no other guy has ever managed to.

“T-The one with the long, dark purple Hair”, you quickly reply, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth at the sight of Iwaizumi‘s anger and determination.

“Good girl”, he mumbles and pulls away, not even aware of the way his praise has your cunt throbbing like crazy and you absolutely hate him for it.

For a second you can‘t even get back to reality, the haze of arousal and longing for the tall male standing in front of you completely taking over your consciousness.

However, as soon as your brain registers Makki‘s panicked voice, you‘re quick to snap back and without missing another beat, you grab Iwaizumi‘s arm and look at him with pleading eyes.

“Please don‘t make a scene”, you whisper, knowing oh too well how much he loves to get himself in trouble because of his friends.

“He fucked then ghosted you all that while saying he doesn‘t want anyone to know he was with you because you're a big girl? That ugly fucker needs a fucking reality check because he can count himself hella fucking lucky to ever get a go with a woman as amazing and hot as you”, Iwaizumi hisses, his words filled with anger yet so, so sweet that without giving it another thought, you simply let go and try not to show him just how flustered he‘s gotten you.

“Are you guys about to kiss right now?”, Matsukawa suddenly says and with an almost audible roll of your eyes you lift your hand up, showing him your middle finger before you watch Iwaizumi‘s brows furrow even further with visible irritation.

“Then don‘t fight him”, you sigh, “please, Hajime, don‘t get yourself in trouble for a guy who‘s not worth it.”

“We‘ll see about it”, is all he says before he moves out of your tight grip, leaving you to stand at the table like that.

You feel your heart picking up its pace at the sight of the love of your life approaching your ex-hook up; several worst case scenarios popping up in your head within a few short seconds. And unfortunately every single one ends with Hajime throwing his fist into the guy‘s face because of his raging anger issues; something he‘s been trying to handle throughout his whole life.

“Makki, please do something”, you whimper and look at the strawberryblonde with glossy eyes; shivers running down your spine at the sudden sound of Hajime's deep voice cutting through the music of the bar.

“Not into you my fucking ass”, Takahiro hisses and follows Iwaizumi with quick steps, whereas Matsukawa remains next to you, watching the scene unfold with the fattest, shit eating grin on his face.

And while you‘re worried about Iwaizumi‘s well-being, said male can‘t even seem to think straight. The only thing he manages to focus on is the raging anger and hot wrath rushing through his veins at the thought of some random, small dicked guy treating you like dirt. With every step he takes, it seems to get worse and at some point the professional trainer is worried about his physical health because of the pace his heart is hammering against his rib cage with.

Iwaizumi has always struggled to understand why you put up with males who are literally unworthy of your presence yet every time he had asked, you simply shrugged and told him that this was how you were meant to be loved. Behind closed doors, hidden away from the world by people who literally worship the society‘s beauty standard.

And all of that when you‘ve had him right in front of you for all those years, ready to love and worship every bit of your body and soul.

Of course for you to let him love you he might have had to tell you about his feelings but as the years passed by, Iwaizumi slowly started to lose every bit of hope he had left. During his four year long absence you‘ve had your fair share of boyfriends and after the third one, the only choice he had left was to force himself to move on or else he would have lost his mind.

It‘s not like he never wanted to confess during High School but there was just something holding him back. The thought of losing you was heavy on his chest especially because Iwaizumi was very well aware you didn‘t feel the same. So for his own sake he chose not to tell you about his feelings for you; not even bearing the mental image of going through such rough times without you by his side.

He‘s already lost count of the amount of times he wanted to scream at you about how he would treat you just how you truly deserved to be treated and not like those douchebags who liked to use you for their own pleasure just to throw you away like a used tissue once they were done.

And after not being able to physically do anything for you because of the distance, he‘s finally got the chance to show you that no, those guys‘ behavior is not okay and yes, putting them back into their place is absolutely worth the headache.

“Hey”, the trainer hisses, coming to stand directly in front of the tall, purple haired guy, Rin Matsuoka,  who‘s quick to harden his expression upon seeing the brunette.

“What can I help you with, big guy?”, Rin mumbles, placing his bottle of beer on the counter with his brows raised in curiosity.

Iwaizumi doesn‘t even waste another minute as he harshly grabs the collar of Rin‘sblack leather jacket, pulling him closer to himself. His friends  rather quickly, yet Hanamaki and this time even Matsukawa are faster, coming to stand right next to each one of them with their arms firmly placed in front of their bodies to stop them from intervening.

“You‘re gonna listen to me and you‘re gonna listen good, did you fucking hear me?”, and just like a few minutes ago, Hajime‘s voice is cold and distant, not leaving room for discussion all while making sure to keep his tight grip.

The confusion and immense irritation is clearly visible on Rin‘s features; brows furrowed, jaw tensed and eyes gleaming with some kind of unnameable anger.

And the longer you watch the situation unfold, the heavier the anxiety in your system becomes and as you struggle to take proper breaths, you find yourself approaching your best friends; not wanting him to get his hands dirty on a guy like Matsuoka.

“What the-”, “Iwa please, he‘s not worth it..”, you say and wrap your fingers around his wrist, trying to find his gaze with desperate eyes only for him to gulp harshly and calmly tell you to take a step back.

“You?”, Rin spits, his dark eyes boring into your side as you try to ignore him; the amount of humiliation and shame washing over your body way too overwhelming to handle.

“Haji, let‘s just go, please”, you whisper, taking his face into your hands, his skin literally burning underneath your fingertips.

“No, Y/N, this stupid bastard has to understand that you can‘t just go and treat women like absolute dirt and get away with it”, Iwaizumi moves out of your soft touch, making Rin shift his attention back on you before the deep voice of one of his friends cuts through the tension.

“What the fuck is he talking about, Rin? Do you know her?”, the blonde says, his tone rather degrading when talking about you and at the way his eyes roam your body with a rather opposed expression show you exactly why that‘s the case.

“N-No, I don‘t!”, he‘s quick to defend himself, his eyes shifting to his friends with sheer panic filling the dark color and you feel your heart sink and the disgusting feeling of shame rushing through your veins.

“You‘re such a fucking piece of shit, Rin”, you hiss and swallow your tears; the taste bitter as the realization of being sometjing to be ashamed of hits you yet again.

“You definitely weren‘t acting like this when you fucked me”, you add and roll your eyes, taking a step back as the anger overcomes you and you basically give Iwaizumi a silent free pass to do whatever the hell he needs to, “or better said – when you tried to. It wasn‘t like I came with your weak dick game anyway so..”

“You fucked that fat bitch? Oh, yikes”, the other friend suddenly says, his words hitting you in the face like literal bricks and before you can even take your next breath or shift your eyes to the face the voice belongs to, the guy suddenly falls to the floor, holding his bloody nose.

You let out a shocked gasp, your eyes falling to Hanamaki who‘s busy shaking his hand, his knuckles already reddened and slightly bruised as he looks at you with a satisfied grin, “no one gets to call my best friend a bitch.”

“I was full on drunk and- do you really think I‘d fuck her sober?”, Rin tries to talk himself out of it and with a cold chuckle you throw your head back.

“How the fuck dare you talk to her like that”, is the last thing Iwaizumi spits before he throws his fist right into Rin‘s face with a deep grunt.

Another loud shriek escapes your lips and suddenly the anger and anxiety seem to leave your body and a huge wave of adrenaline hits you at the sight of your ex-hook up falling to the floor and Iwaizumi quickly moving with him.

For what feels like a whole hour but is probably nothing longer than a minute, you‘re literally frozen; your eyes the only moving part of your body as you watch your best friends break their knuckles on the jaws of literal strangers to them.

The following hour passes by in a blur. You can‘t really remember how or who separated them from those guys, or how you got yourself to call an uber and manage to get the four of you to your flat.

By the time the adrenaline stops making the blood rush in your ear, you‘re taking care of Matsukawa‘s wounds with shaky hands; the two others holding ice packs to their faces to ease the swelling of their bruises.

“Stop sighing so much”, Iwaizumi suddenly says, his dark eyes focusing the movements of your hands before he looks at you with a slightly softer expression, “we did what we had to do. And I‘m glad we did it. Those guys already looked so fucking punchable”, he explains and with a scolding scoff you press your lips to a thin line.

“You‘re back in Japan for how long? Two days? Yet already got yourself in trouble, a physical fight at that, Hajime. You‘re not your High School self anymore, start behaving that way, please”, you reply and hand Mattsun a plastic bag filled with ice cubes, softly caressing his bruised cheek before you stand up from your place on the floor.

“You got yourself one hell of a mouth while I was gone,  huh?”, he replies cockily, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue before he follows you into the bathroom.

You feel your body heating up at his words, the sexual tension laying underneath the surface slowly finding its way to you again and with a soft sigh, you ignore the brunette.

“How was I supposed to let him say all those things to you and not do anything, Y/N?”, Iwaizumi replies, a pouty word of gratitude leaving his lips when you take his big hand into yours and start cleaning up the blood on his bruised knuckles.

You try your best to stop your thoughts from wandering to sinful places yet images of those pretty, tattooed fingers wrapped around your throat and knuckle deep buried inside of your cunt have already filled your mind by the time you lower your gaze from his face.

“I‘m used to-”, “That does not make it okay, Y/N”, your best friend suddenly says, taking your chin in between his fingers to lift your head and look at you with those beautiful, dark green eyes.

“You deserve so, so much better and I‘m glad I can finally tell you this in person after all those years. Please stop letting douches like him take advantage of you”, he sighs, taking your hands into his and pulling you a little bit closer to himself.

“It‘s that or Matsukawa‘s cock and I‘d rather have a stranger emotionally pain me than my best friend, so-”, “What? What the fuck are you talking about?”, Iwaizumi interrupts you harshly, your words obviously irritating him.

“After my last boyfriend dumped me a year ago I‘ve only had casual flings because I got tired of using my hand to get off and Matsukawa offered to take care of it instead. But then again, it‘s just a lot less complicated with a stranger than it is with your best friend, that‘s why I‘m putting up with shit like this”, you explain to him and walk back into the living room where Mattsun and Makki are currently busy with your leftover take out from the previous night.

“So if it wasn‘t for that, you‘d let him fuck you?”, Iwaizumi‘s tone has turned cold again, the softness gone and replaced by something a little thicker and more intense than anger. And when you turn around to look at him, you see literal jealousy gleaming in the green color surrounding his iris, basically leaving you speechless.

“Why do you even care, Iwa?”, you reply, dramatically throwing your hands into the air as his tensed demeanor sends you in some kind of haze of irritation.

“Answer my fucking question, Y/N”, is all you get in response; the brunette closing the distance between the two of you with a few small steps and it‘s the lack of space between your faces that has you realizing just how unevenly he‘s breathing.

Your heart starts slamming against your rib cage with rather brutal pace, your head spinning from the sudden adrenaline shooting through your body and on top of all of it you feel your cunt clenching around nothing like crazy as Iwaizumi’s heavy scent fills your nose.

“Yes”, you say and feel your voice breaking, “yes, I would fuck Matsukawa because why not? Hm, Iwaizumi? There‘s nothing else stopping me from it other than-”, “You can‘t and won‘t fuck him”, he suddenly interrupts your outburst, his expression as dark as ever as he softly pushes you against wall.

“I think this is the moment where we‘re supposed to leave”, Makki mumbles, pulling Mattsun from the couch before they gather their things and leave the two of you to yourself.

As the silence surrounds the two of you, the tension grows even thicker, heavier, more present than before and with every breath you take you feel yourself growing more and more aroused.

“And why is that, hm? I can and will fuck whoever I want”, you spit back, trying so hard ot not let the arousal get to your head yet the disgusting urge to submit to Iwaizumi‘s naturally dominant personality slowly starts overwhelming you.

Hajime chuckles deeply, his eyes lazily roaming your face, pressing his strong body even further against yours as your head starts spinning more and more with every second passing by.

“Iwa…”, you whimper softly, throwing your head back and harshly digging gripping the soft fabric of his shirt; the close contact makes you a lot more nervous than before.

He slowly takes a deep breath before he bends down to let his nose graze your jawline, and eventually letting his mouth find its way to your ear.

“Because no one can fuck you like I can, pretty one”, Iwaizumi whispers, his voice a whole octave deeper than just a few seconds before and you hate the way every single one of his words sends a single, hot jolt of arousal right into your core.

“And”, you hear him inhale sharply, his hands finding their way to your hips, groping the soft flesh firmly in his palms before he takes a short break and then pulls away to look at you again, “no one can love you like I can.”

At the sound of those words, your eyes snap open within a second your heart skips a literal beat.

“W-What?”, you whisper, your throat completely dried up, your head desperately trying to process what he’s just said and just as your body is about to fall into some kind of haze, you feel yourself drowning in a wave of anxiety at the thought of having misheard him.

“I love you, Y/N”, Iwaizumi says just when those thoughts are about to take over you.

“Ha-Hajime…”, you mumble; your bottom lip starts to quiver as tears pricker at the corners of your eyes, the first few finding their way down your cheek in an instant.

A few seconds of silence pass in which you two just look at each other, Iwaizumi’s pupils blown out, cheeks tinted in the deepest shade of red and plump lips parted as he also tries to understand what just happened.

After all these years of imagining what it might be like to hear these kind of words from the love of your life, it’s finally become reality and the longer you look at him, the lighter the weight on your chest becomes.

“I’m sorry if I ruined our friendship with this but I just – couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. When I was in America I had promised myself to confess as soon as possible when I’m back so here I am. Those men don’t deserve you. Neither do I but I would have hated myself forever if I didn’t at least try. So”, he finishes his sudden explanation with another deep exhale before he takes a step back, his glossy eyes wandering from yours down to the floor, “thank you for everything and please take care.”

And fortunately your body acts a lot faster than your mind because while you still try to process his soft, sweet words – the words you’ve been dying to hear for so, so long – you find yourself tightening your grip on his shirt and pulling him back into you with a soft sob.

“I love you, too”, you whisper against his lips, pressing your forehead against his as your eyes flutter shut at the overwhelming warmth coming from his body.

“Fuck, baby”, Iwaizumi chuckles breathlessly, wrapping his arms around your body and burying his face in the crook of your neck, “I’m one lucky bastard, aren’t I?”

You smile brightly at his genuine and soft words, the feeling of coming home – a place you’ve longed for literal years – slowly breaks down onto you in the form of waves and for the first time in a really long time, you don’t mind being overwhelmed like that.

“So that means that you’re mine now?”, Iwaizumi whispers, pulling away and taking your face into his big hands, the smell of blood grazing your nose yet easily gets overshadowed by the way he’s looking at you as if you were holding the whole world in your hands.

You nod and move further into his touch, enjoying the feeling of being so safe and secure in one’s hands after not even feeling comfortable with anyone in years.

“T-Thank you for loving me, Iwa”, you gulp harshly, looking at him with teary eyes at the memory of all those who had managed to break your heart in the past years.

“No, baby”, he sighs, pressing the softest kiss right onto your lips, “thank you for letting me love you. When I say you’re literally everything I’ve ever dreamed of, I’m not even exaggerating because that’s what you are to me. A dream come true”, those are the last words Hajime mumbles before he pulls you into a proper kiss; not giving you the opportunity to reply.

The kiss starts off slow and calm. As if both of you were still trying to understand that this was actually happening because despite the hesitant movements, neither of you can hide the intense hunger lingering underneath every soft peck.

Iwaizumi, just as usual, lacks the patience to keep it going like that, not even trying to take it easier for even longer as he pulls your chin down and calmly pushes his tongue into your mouth, easily eliciting a soft moan from you. Your fingers find home in his brown curls, pulling at the thick strands and finally making him grunt right against your tongue; the deep sound sending vibrations and sweet little jolts of excitement through your whole body.

You slowly feel his hands wander; first starting off caressing your back, groping the soft flesh of your waist as well as the fingers of his right hand softly digging into your skin and for a second. You allow yourself to fall deeper and deeper into the perfect feeling of his touch until suddenly a mental image of his most recent ex-girlfriend pops up in your head and you stop functioning completely.

Iwaizumi lets his lips wander down your chin, placing a row of open mouthed kisses on your jaw before he moves to your neck and pulls the sensitive skin into his mouth without wasting another minute. The feeling of his hot tongue on your skin has your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you desperately try to distract yourself from your anxiety‘s attempt to ruin this for you.

You let out a soft whimper when Hajime wraps one of his big hands around one of your tits, harshly groping the flesh while rubbing his hard, clothed cock against your thick thigh.

His deep grunts and needy touches have you ruining your panties in no time to the point where the lacey fabric is literally sticking to your hot flesh in a rather uncomfortable way.

“Need you, baby”, Iwaizumi grunts, the movements of his hips rather sloppy and rushed yet so, so genuine and sweet, you can‘t help but smile softly.

“You got me, Haji”, you reply and take his handsome face into your hands, caressing his cheeks with your thumbs, “I‘m all yours.”

“Fuck, baby”, he moans and suddenly pulls away, his hands finding their way to the hem of your dress before he meets your eyes and wordlessly asks for your consent.

You give him a quick nod, pushing the voice of your anxiety all the way to the back of your head as Hajime slowly pushes the fabric up your thighs, revealing more and more skin before his eyes roll into the back of his eyes at the sight of your black lace panties.

He doesn‘t waste much time; quickly pulling the rest of it over your head and then taking a whole step back to let his greedy eyes roam your body with lust and nothing but adoration.

And when you realize your current, exposed state you take a deep breath to hold those insecurities back, however they‘re a lot faster than you are.

You nervously try to cover your naked body with your arms. Just the thought of him finding you and your body disgusting breaks your heart into pieces and with shivers of shame rushing down your spine, you lower your gaze.

“L-Look, I know it‘s not what you‘re used to and I- you don‘t have to touch me. I can just suck your cock or give you a handjob if you feel more comfortable that way”, you say, your voice a mere whisper and eventually breaking at the end when you give in to the tears.

“Baby…”, Iwaizumi sighs, pain evident in the tone of his voice. He calmly takes your wrists into his big hands before he pulls your arms away from your body, softly asking you to look at him and after what feels like an eternity, you manage to lift your head only to be met with nothing but warm, dark green eyes.

“You‘re fucking perfect”, he whispers and places a tiny little kiss on your lips, leaving you longing for more as he pulls away right afterwards, “there‘s literally nothing I would change about you.”

At the sound of those sweet words, you simply cannot hold back your tears any longer. You look at Iwaizumi with a quivering bottom lip as you let out a row of soft sobs; digging your nails into the skin of his wrists because you simply don‘t know what else to do.

For the first time in your life, your brain isn‘t protesting against a compliment and you know if it wasn‘t for him, there would be no way you‘d believe it.

“B-But your ex-girlfriends are the exact opposite and-”, “They don‘t matter, baby. You‘re you and it‘s all I could have asked for. I‘m in love with every part of your body and that has never been any different”, Iwaizumi interrupts you with his calm voice, placing his hands on your waist before one of them finds its way to your barely clothed ass.

“But-”, “No more buts”, the brunette says, a lot sterner and more determined, groping the flesh of your ass and then landing a firm spank on the soft flesh which has you whimpering into the crook of his neck.

Iwaizumi chuckles and pulls you into another deep kiss, sucking at your tongue, nibbling on your bottom lip all while his hands make sure to graze every bit of naked skin they can find. He pushes his leg in between your thighs, pressing it right against your cunt and without even wasting another second you find yourself grinding against the strong muscle. The fabric of his jeans rubs your throbbing clit in the best way possible, eliciting a row of needy whimpers from you.

You feel yourself soaking through the fabric of our lace panties and you know you‘re currently leaving a huge stain on Iwaizumi‘s pants but the pleasure clouding your mind makes it so easy to just ignore it.

“What a needy girl you are, baby”, Hajime mumbles, caressing the slightly dampened skin of cheeks with his thumb before he moves to graze your bottom lip and eventually pushes the digit into your open mouth.

Your lids fly open at the taste of his skin on your tongue, twirling the muscle around his thumb and then sucking on it softly, followed by some muffled moans of his name.

Iwaizumi watches you attentively for what feels like an eternity. His beautiful eyes wandering from the way you‘re rubbing your clunt against his clothed thigh to your perky nipples and then up to the way your lips look wrapped around his thumb like that and from the way his expression keeps growing darker and even hungrier, you know he‘s more than just enjoying your despair.

“I want to spit in your mouth”, he says, using the dominant tone you‘re oh so used to at this point and there‘s no way you‘d ever say no to him.

Something about being claimed in such a lewd way by the man you‘ve been dreaming of for years has you grinding your pussy into his thigh even harder; making sure to hit your clit with every rushed drag of your hips.

“Yes, p-please, Daddy”, you beg, not even overthinking any of your words as you part your lips and look at him with big, needy eyes.

When you notice the rather shocked and slightly overwhelmed expression on Iwaizumi‘s face, you gulp harshly, tilting your head to the side with your lips pushed into a concerned pout.

“What‘s wrong, Iwa?”, you whisper, way too scared of his response.

“You called me Daddy”, he replies and licks his plump lips, whereas you freeze completely at his comment.

“D-Did I? I‘m so sorry, Iwa”, the apology falls past your lips almost instantly at the realization because you know that not every guy is comfortable with such dynamic and even if Hajime definitely has a natural dominance to his personality, you should have waited a little longer before bringing this particular kink up.

“None of my boyfriends liked it and I don‘t like using it with completely strangers so I g-guess I just feel really safe with you and it slipped and I- oh, God, I‘m so sorry.”

You pull away from Iwaizumi with shaky hands, tears threatening to spill for the nth time within such a short period and you try your best to look everywhere but his eyes.

However, Iwaizumis seems to have other plans.

He takes your chin into his hand and pulls your face closer, nudges your nose with his own and then sucks your bottom lip into his mouth; making you whimper rather loudly.

“Say it again, baby”, he whispers, “tell Daddy how badly you want his spit.”

As his words echo inside of your brain, you let out a loud, high pitched whine, harshly trying to press your thigh further together ss the throbbing of your cunt becomes unbearable.

“Please, Daddy”, you reply, pushing his hand down to your neck and smiling softly when he wraps his pretty fingers around your throat, feeding right into every single fantasy you‘ve been imagining for so long, “spit in my mouth and on my cunt, I don‘t care. I just need it.”

“Good girl”, Iwa growls softly, “open up then, pretty one.”

You part your lips almost automatically at the sound of his demand, sticking your tongue out slightly and looking up at him with anticipation and such eagerness, if it wasn‘t for him, you would have never been as comfortable as this.

Iwaizumi smirks at you, keeping his grip on your throat firm but not too tight as he gathers his own saliva and spits into your mouth with a loud, lewd sound that sends shivers of pleasure straight down your spine and right into your core.

You can‘t stop your lips from stretching into a big smile when his taste coats the muscle of your tongue, swallowing it all in one go before you open your mouth yet again to show him it‘s all gone.

“Good fucking girl”, Iwaizumi praises you softly, caressing your cheek before he lets fo of your throat, “I got myself a perfect little doll, hm?”

“Thank you, Daddy”, you reply quickly, the intense urge to obey to his every word and submit to his every move absolutely overwhelming  at this point, but you would never want it any other way.

“Look at you, using your manners for me. You‘re welcome, princess. What about a little reward for being so good for me, baby? Wanna sit on my face so I can eat that pretty pussy of yours?”, Iwaizumi takes you hand into his, intertwining his fingers with yours before he guides you to the couch, letting himself fall into the soft cushion whereas you try your best not to panic at his words.

Of course the thought of having his mouth on your cunt is more than just tempting but you've never sat on a guy‘s face before; the fear of literally suffocating him with your weight making it impossible for you to even think about it.

“C-Can‘t you just eat me out like this, Daddy?”, you whisper, looking down to meet Iwa‘s hungry gaze and stopping him from pulling your panties any further down your thighs.

“I‘m too heavy”, the explanation follows right away, not wanting him to think it has anything to do with him or his wishes, “I don‘t want to hurt you.”

“Baby, I want you to sit on my face so I can eat your pretty pussy. That‘s it”, Iwaizumi says, his right hand finding the clasp of your bra and quickly getting rid of it before he takes both of your tits into his big hands; toying with your nipples and attentively watching the way your gasps grow louder with every pull on the perky buds, “you don‘t have to if you don‘t want to but don‘t you dare worry about me because this has been a dream of mine for literal years. Oh, how badly I want to be squished by those pretty, thick thighs of yours – you have no idea.”

“I want to! It’s just that I’ve never done this before. A-Are you sure? Please don‘t think you have to want this to make me feel better, I‘m okay with whatever you‘re comfortable with”, you whisper, not trusting your voice when you suddenly feel Iwaizumi‘s fingers tracing patterns on the inside of your thighs.

“Enough of this, pretty one”, his words are accompanied by a firm spank on your naked ass cheek; the pain of the sting leaving your pussy a spasming mess and with a soft moan you tighten your grip in his hair, “now sit on my face or I won’t fuck you.”

“N-No! Daddy, I‘m sorry, I promise I‘ll be good”, you whine quickly letting go of him so he can lay on his back only for Iwaizumi to get rid of his black shirt; revealing his strong, well trained body and all those dark lines adorning his tanned skin to your hungry eyes.

It takes you a few good seconds to gain enough confidence to actually spread your legs over his face, your whole body shaking with nervousness. But once Iwaizumi wraps his strong arms around your thighs and pulls your body even further down to his face, you slowly start easing up.

The feeling of his hot breath fanning against the wet flesh of your cunt sends goosebumps down your back. And the sight of his pretty face between your thick thighs, something you‘ve always been so insecure about, seems to slowly take a place as one of your favorite images to ever exist.

“Look me in the eyes, baby”, Iwaizumi mumbles and sucks at the skin of your inner thigh, his tongue on your skin making more and more juices gush out of your already drenched cunt as you allow yourself to meet his hungry gaze.

And just when your eyes meet, Iwaizumi sticks his tongue out and licks a long stripe over the hor flesh of your pussy before he gently pulls your little clit into his mouth and starts sucking on it.

You let out a loud groan; the sudden stimulation on your needy clit sending literal shock waves of pleasure through your body and without even realizing you slowly grind yourself further against his mouth.

Iwaizumi moans into your flesh, the deep bass of his voice sending vibrations right into your core, making your cunt clench even harder around nothing and if it wasn‘t for the intensity of his stare, you would have looked away already. Yet just as usual, there‘s something about the way he looks at you which has you feeling at literal ease – even in such a situation.

“Come on, baby”, Iwaizumi suddenly grunts, letting go of the sensitive bud with a loud sound before placing an open mouthed kiss on your clit and landing a harsh spank on your ash which has your body jolting in antica, “don’t be shy now. Ride my face like the good girl you are, make me proud…”, he adds softly, his words encouraging you easily and with a sound of affirmation, you start grinding your hips to meet the hot muscle of his tongue.

The following minutes are filled with loud slurping noises, high pitched moans and deep grunts as well as more words of affirmation and encouragement all while Iwaizumi continues to switch between thrusting his tongue into your tight hole and sucking on your clit before he eventually starts fingerfucking you with two of his thick digits.

You can't help but throw your head back at the immense amount of pleasure; your body and mind slowly reaching a point of complete haze as you lose yourself in the feeling of his touch.

And by the time you finally feel the taste of your high coating the tip of your tongue, your grip on Iwaizumi‘s hair tightens and a row of loud, choked out begs fall past your bit swollen lips.

“Look at your greedy little pussy clenching around my fingers like that”, Iwa chuckles deeply, picking up the pace of his thrusts as he keeps his mouth way too close to your throbbing little clit, “and those pretty begs. Gosh, baby, you‘re going to drive me insane.”

“S-So close, Daddy”, you choke out, your eyes flying open when you feel a third finger joining the two inside of your tight cunt, the pain of the stretch in combination with the pleasure of your upcoming high making your head spin.

“There we go, that‘s my baby”, he takes a deep breath and starts kneading the soft flesh of your ass in his palms, “want you to cum all over my fucking face. Show me what a good fucking girl you are.”

And those are the last words your brain manages to register before you feel the first wave of your orgasm hit you. Your sight turns pitch black and then white for a good second, your whole body tensing up at the feeling of coil in your core finally snapping.

Your thighs are shaking, your breath continuously hitching as you desperately try to regain your composure and if it wasn‘t for Iwaizumi‘s touch on your sensitive pussy, you‘d stay in the beautiful haze of your orgasm.

“You came so hard for me, baby”, Iwaizumi grins and pushes his fingers into his mouth before you finally find enough energy to get off of his face.

“W-Want more”, you whisper, your voice raspy and breathy as you tell him your request; low-key scared of being too greedy yet at the sight of Iwaizumi‘s eyes sparkling with excitement, you know he‘s not one to deny you anything. He‘s never been, after all.

“How about we move this to your bedroom, baby? I‘ve been dying to press your face into the mattress and ruin that little pussy of yours.” You feel a jolt of excitement blooming inside your chest at his words, nodding eagerly before you reach for his hand and guide him down the hall to your bedroom.

“Do you want me to suck you off?”, you say when the two of you come to stand in your room, your eyes focusing on the huge bulge in his pants, which manages to scare you slightly with its impressive size.

You always knew your best friend wasn‘t on the smaller side when it came to size yet you still can‘t hide just how surprised you are by its actual size. And suddenly the three fingers make a lot more sense to you.

“Let‘s save that for another time, pretty one. I‘ve been dreaming about pumping your cute little hole full of my cum for way too long. I can‘t wait any longer”, Iwaizumi replies and finally starts unbuckling his belt.

You take the few seconds he‘s busy to let your eyes admire the beauty of his perfectly sculpted body. You follow the dark lines of his chest tattoo, take in the sight of his stone hard abs and veiny arms as you press your thighs even more together to ease some of the pressure on your cunt.

“Are you done eyefucking me, pretty one?”, Iwaizumi suddenly chuckles, casually pushing his jeans as well as his boxer briefs down his meaty thighs and exposing his hard cock for your hungry eyes to devour.

He wraps his pretty fingers around his throbbing length, the tip an angry shade of red as precum continues to leak out; making your mouth water at the mere thought of having him in your mouth.

“Everything about you is so pretty”, you sigh and look into his eyes, the genuine appreciation in the green surrounding his iris making your heart grow warmer before he comes to stand in front of you in all of his glory.

“I love you so much”, Iwaizumi replies calmly, taking your face into his big hands before he places the softest kiss on your forehead.

“I love you, too”, you mumble and get up, pressing your lips against his and sighing into his mouth when he pushes his tongue past your lips without missing a beat.

Just when Iwaizumi starts letting his hands wander over your naked body, he halts his movements and pulls away slightly, “my pretty little baby, make sure to face the mirror so you can watch while I fuck your brains out. I want you to see just how perfect you are.”

“Yes, Daddy”, you whisper, your lips stretched into a big, big smile as you move out of his strong grip to position yours on your knees just as you were told.

Your heart suddenly starts racing again when you bury your face in your arms, making sure to push your ass as high as possible to give Iwaizumi easy access to your glistening cut. The excitement in combination with the pleasure and deep, deep longing finally manage to take over your brain; shoving the anxiety alongside all those insecurities to the very back of your head and making it easy for you to put your whole focus on the tll male behind you.

Iwaizumi’s rough hands caress your bare ass softly, kneading the flesh and lightly spanking it a few times before he lets a thick drop of his spit fall right onto your clenching pussy; sending goosebumps down your back at the feeling of it sliding down your flesh and mixing with your leaking juices.

You feel the tip of his thick cock nudging your entrance, the memory of his size making you tense up subconsciously and just when you’re about to hold your breath, Iwaizumi’s deep, calming voice echoes through the silence of your room.

“Take a deep breath, baby”, he whispers, knowing you’re going to follow his orders just like the good girl you love to be, “Daddy’s got you, okay? I’m gonna go easy, I promise.”

You lift your head to meet his comforting gaze through the mirror in front of you and without another beat passing, you feel yourself calming down again; the feeling of being absolutely safe and secure in his hand making it the easiest task.

And when Iwaizumi feels the tension in your body easing up, he lines himself up with your entrance and slowly pushes his thick tip into your tight hole. You whimper at the delicious stretch, the pain easily overshadowed by the sound of Iwaizumi’s heavy breathing and little moans.

“I’m gonna go all in, baby or else it’s going to hurt a lot more”, you appreciate his warning because as he’s saying it, Iwaizumi thrusts the whole of his impressive length into your spasming cunt; pushing every bit of air out of your lungs and pushing you way too close to your second high of the night. You can’t help but whimper loudly, tears already streaming down your cheeks because of the beautiful feeling of pain and pleasure mixing inside of your veins from the intensity of the stretch.

Iwaizumi, as always the gentleman, gives you all the time you need to adjust to his size; only growing slightly impatient as you still whine softly after two whole minutes yet you’re quick to lift your head again with quivering bottom lip and teary eyes, begging him to just fuck you.

“Please, Daddy”, you sob, moving away from him in a desperate attempt for some kind of friction; your cunt spasming around his thick cock like crazy and you know you’re only a few thrust and some clit stimulation away from your next high, “please, fuck me.”

“My greedy little whore”, Iwaizumi grunts, pulling his cock out of you astonishingly slow with the sole purpose of teasing you, “you’re going to take what Daddy gives you, did you hear me?”

You moan as the feeling of his tip dragging alongside your spongy walls, your eyes rolling into the back of your head only to find your way back to reality with a couple of harsh spanks on your already sore ass.

“Good sluts answer when being talked to, pretty one”, he warns, thrusting his cock back into you with one quick snap of his hips; burying himself balls deep inside of your overly sensitive cunt.

“Yes, Daddy, yes”, you cry and look up at him with glossy eyes, “just please, fuck my stupid little cunt, please.” Iwaizumi lets out a row of deep chuckles followed by raspy groans in response to your perfect answer before he nods at you and mumbles a few soft praises right into your ear and then straightens himself again.

“Alright then, pretty one.”

Loud grunts fill your ears so beautifully, echoing through the thick air of your bedroom and in combination with the sound of skin meeting skin in a constant rhythm, you feel the exact way your body is slowly falling into the beautiful bliss of another high.

Iwaizumi fucks you fast, harsh and rough. There’s nothing soft and romantic about the way his hips are meeting yours in a steady rhythm; making sure to hit that sweet spot deep inside of your pussy with every single one of his thrusts as he continues to use his whole strength on your burning ass.

But not once do you even think about telling him to go easier on you; this iwaizumi the one you’ve been imagining for all those years.

It doesn’t take long for him to wrap his strong arm around your chest to pull you up, his fingers also finding their way back home around your delicate throat.

“Look at you, baby”, he groans right into your ear, making you open your eyes and meet your own reflection in the mirror, “you’re so fucking beautiful, I can’t comprehend it.”

You stare at yourself with your lips parted in awe, eyes falling to the sight of Iwaizumi’s thick cock stretching your tiny cunt before you go back to trying to recognize yourself.

Because for the first time in literal years, you don’t hate what you see and even if it’s because of IWaizumi’s strong body right behind you, you still feel this certain type of warmth blossoming in your chest.

"Feels so good, baby", he groans, throwing his head back as the movements of his hips start to become slightly sloppier, a little more uncontrolled, "so tight and warm, so fucking perfect", Hajime’s voice breaks at the end of his soft praise because of your walls clenching around his cock even more the closer you get to the edge.

You start feeling dizzy, your sight turning into a blurr and at some point you can’t even in- or exhale without letting out a shaky moan.

Iwaizumi looks at you with wide, hungry eyes, the feeling of your walls gripping his cock like a goddamn vice sending him into an ecstatic state and the longer he watches you getting lost in the pleasure, the more he struggles to keep his rhythm.

You’re mumbling incoherent sentences, desperately trying to tell the brunette about how close you are whereas the pleasure makes it absolutely impossible for you to form a proper sentence.

“Are you going to cum for me again, baby?”, Iwaizumi grunts, tightening his grip on your throat, making you gasp for air as you nod in response to his question.

“My perfect little slut”, he sighs, his hand reaching down to rub your hard, throbbing clit with two of his rough digits, “fucking do it. Cum for your Daddy like the good whore you are.”

And just like a few minutes prior, those words are the last straw and eventually make you stumble over the edge head first. Your walls start spasming around Iwa’s cock like crazy, your loud moans and soft cries are the only thing he can focus on and without missing another minute, Iwaizumi also lets himself get consumed by the beautiful feeling of relief.

Iwa hips still, his cock buried deeply inside of your tight sex as he coats your walls with his creamy cum. Your new boyfriend gets lost in the feeling of finally getting to cum inside of you after waiting for so many years; feeding the fantasy of getting to claim you in the most intimate way possible. He buries his face in the sweaty crook of your neck, his rapid breath fanning your skin as the two of you try to calm down from your intense highs. Your hand finds its way into his dark hair, massaging his scalp with your eyes closed and your legs still shaking from the aftermath of your breathtaking orgasm. Without pulling out of you, despite his own release leaking out of you and down the sides of his cock, Iwaizumi makes you lay down with him; just tightly holding you in his arms.

A few minutes filled with nothing but soft breathing pass by before you finally find the strength to move again; the sudden need to look at Iwaizumi’s completely fucked out face overwhelming you in the best way possible. And when you turn around to look at him, you’re met with a breathtaking sight.

Messy strands of sweaty hair falling into his flushed face, swollen lips and glossy eyes sparkling at you in a way you’ve never seen before and in that moment you feel yourself falling in love with Iwaizumi all over again.

“I’m so in love with you”, you whisper and caress the soft skin of his cheeks, loving the way he moves even further into your touch.

“Always and forever only yours, pretty one”, Iwaizumi sighs and presses his forehead against yours.

࿏ A/N: And here it finally is! My first x chubby reader fic!! As a chubby someone who’s been reading fanficion for a long time, I’ve always craved some kind of representation and now I finally got to join this side of the community and I’m more than just happy about the way it turned out. I genuinely hope you guys will enjoy this and find comfort the same way I did while writing this. Please feel free to leave any sort of feedback if you enjoyed it and thank you so much for everything.

[emmyhem]

everything you’re missing (c.t.h)

a/n: hi everybody, i’m back with another post. this is my first calum piece and i’m so excited to finally get it up. this is once again unedited, i’m way too tired rn. it’s also the second smut i’ve posted so that’s pretty exciting as well. yeah i don’t really have much to say right now because i’m literally exhausted, my classes are really kicking my ass. anyway i hope you all enjoy this bff!calum piece. feedback and comments are always appreciated. hope you all are doing well and are being safe. thank you - emmy <33

pairing: bff!calum hood x fem!reader

summary: a drunken text meant for your ex shows up on calum’s phone and leaves him questioning everything he’s missing out on with his best friend.

warning(s): talk of a previous bad relationship, y/n’s ex body shamed her, mentions of alcohol, insecurity, smut, cursing

word count: 4.7k

You’ve decided that 3 glasses of wine is your happy medium, but even a sip into the 4th and there’s no telling what you’ll do. 

So, naturally you were finishing up your 5th glass on Friday night while angrily scrolling through your exes instagram when you got what seemed to be an incredible idea. It was simply too tempting not to, your mind was feeling hazy which made your confidence skyrocket, and you truly did just look good. 

A day of pampering had left you in a black floor length silk robe with nothing but your favorite deep cherry red lingerie set underneath. Your face was bare and glowing after a refreshing and illuminating face mask, and your lips were left glossy and plump from a new scrub. 

You had posed in front of the floor length mirror in your living room, giggling between snaps until you had taken the perfect shot. It was classy but provocative, the dressing gown slipping from your shoulders exposing the lace of your bra and a tasteful amount of cleavage. You had also left the bottom open, allowing a clear shot of your thighs and the curve of your ass from where you sat on your knees. 

With a mischievous glint in your eyes you selected the picture into a message, typing a cheeky, “take a good look at everything you’re missing”  and sending it off to your ex (or so you thought). 

But you really couldn’t be blamed for your mistake, Cam and Cal were far too similar for your drunk brain to decipher the difference. You also couldn’t be blamed for the fact that you dozed off on the couch immediately after sending it, before you even had a chance to recognize your humiliating mistake. 

You were awoken by the ringing of your phone at around 9:00 am, way too early for your liking. Before even registering who it was, you brought the phone to your ear and groaned a sleepy, “hello,” 

“At your door.” a voice you recognized as your best friend responded. 

“M’coming” you said, scooting off the couch. On your way to the door you registered that you were still scantily covered, the robe falling off of you as you walked. You clutched it around you as you swung the door open to a wide eyed, Calum Hood. 

“G’morning.” he smirked, looking you up and down. 

“Shh” you hushed, pulling him in by the arm. “Why in the world are you here so early?”

He lightly laughed while taking a seat at the kitchen table, eyes following you while you moped over to the fridge and pulled out two water bottles. 

“Well,” he sighed as you handed him one. “I got a very interesting text last night and I figured I just had to come over and see, y’know everything I was missing.” he spoke in a teasing tone as he gestured a hand down your body.

You tugged your eyebrows together in confusion. There was something familiar about what he was saying, but not familiar enough for you to put the pieces together. 

“What are you talking about?” you questioned bringing the water bottle to your lips. 

Calum shrugged his shoulders, a smirk still glued to his face as he took out his phone and began looking for something. After a few seconds he extended his arm to hand you his phone. You accepted it and glanced down absentmindedly as your body slumped against the counter.  

The second your eyes hit the screen it all came back to you, your mouth fell open and you straightened out, suddenly very awake, not to mention very mortified. 

Calum on the other hand was buzzing. Actually, he had been ever since his phone dinged last night awakening him from his sleep. Well, buzzing and extremely, extremely sexually frustrated. 

When he first opened your message and saw the picture that would now be making a regular appearance in his wet dreams, he had nearly choked on his own breath. He knew that it was most likely a drunken mistake, and while that slightly saddened him it didn’t stop his dick from plumping up at the sight, straining uncomfortably against his boxers. He seriously debated wanking to the tempting image but decided against it, thinking it would be a gross violation of your privacy since it wasn’t even meant for him. Oh how he wished it was. Unfortunately that meant he had been sporting an exceptionally sensitive halfie since then. 

“Oh my god.” you groaned, sitting the phone down on the counter and covering your eyes in humiliation. “Cal I’m soooo sorry, I was drunk, and overly confident, and I meant to send this to Cam and now I’m just, I’m sorry.” you reiterated. 

‘Hey, don’t apologize on my account.��� he countered. “Plus, you should be thrilled you sent it to me and not that asshole, doesn’t deserve ya.” 

“I know, you’re right. Doesn’t change the fact that I’m mortified though. S’bit ridiculous, get a little alcohol in my system and I have a god complex all of a sudden” you rambled, running your hands through your hair nervously. 

Calum stood and pulled you into his arms, resting his chin on the top of your head. 

“You think too much, y’know that?” he quipped. 

You turned your head, pressing a cheek against his sweater clad chest and mumbled, “Yea I’ve been known for that.” 

Calum softly chuckled at your words before pressing a chaste kiss to the top of your head and pulling apart. 

“S’really no big deal, y/n.” a teasing grin plastered on his face. “Besides I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it.”

“Calum!” you scolded, swatting a hand at his arm. 

He dodged your hit just in time and held his hands up in surrender before taking his seat again. 

“Why'd you let that dick bother you anyway? Y’know you’re way out of his league.” 

Your jaw clenched at the question, your mind wandering to every time you had come to Calum crying after your ex had done something to hurt you. Everytime he commented on your “stomach pudge” as he liked to call it, when you wore a tight dress to go out. Or when he would ask if you were really “that” hungry, even if you hadn’t eaten much at all. And each time you would feel absolutely wretched and end up sobbing in Calum’s arms, but refusing to tell him why you were so, so sad. 

“He texted me the other day y’know?” you muttered under your breath, while fiddling with the coffee machine. 

“Really? What’d he say?” Calum responded, watching your back with narrowed eyes. 

“Uh, he saw me the other night, when we were at that bar with the guys.” you said, shaky fingers pulling out a mug. 

“And?” he spoke flatly. 

“It’s stupid really,” you sniffled, willing your voice not to break. “He said I put on a few pounds, that he was glad he got out when he did.” your bottom lip traitorously jutted out as you turned to face him. 

“Fucking dick.” he hissed. 

Calum wasn’t necessarily proud of the violent images that flashed through his mind at the thought of that asshole finding yet another way to hurt you but, the sad little quiver of your lip allowed him to reason without a doubt that they were fair. 

Before you could even blink he was holding you again, arms impossibly tight around you. . 

“He’s wrong, y/n. Fuck, I don’t know how to even...he’s just so wrong.” he said softly, his hand rubbing your back reassuringly. 

“I know.” you whimpered, holding tears back. 

He pulled back enough to look you in the eyes, arms still firm around your waist. 

“No you don’t. It’s...It really fucking pisses me off that he makes you feel like this. It’s like-fuck you’re just like-” he moved his hands to cup your cheeks. “You really are gorgeous.” 

Your heart fluttered at his words, and your whole body felt warm as you stared at his big brown eyes. His words felt sincere, everything about him felt so sincere. 

“Thank you, Cal.” 

He pulled you back into his chest, “Really wish I could just, like hug away all his bullshit.” 

“M’used to it.” you mumbled. 

“You don’t deserve any of it.” 

“Yea, well what can you do.” you sighed, moving out of his embrace. 

Calum’s eyes were still glued to you as you stirred a spoonful of sugar in your coffee. 

“I hope you don’t let anything he says get to you.” 

You let out a breath of exhaustion. 

Confidence wasn’t something that you used to struggle with. I mean sure, there were spouts of insecurity here and there but you knew your worth, and you considered yourself pretty, hot even. That had all changed a few months into your latest relationship. First it was the backhanded compliments which quickly turned into passive comments, and then outright cruel insults. People really underestimate the toll their words take on others, especially when the person that’s making you feel so ugly and worthless, is one that you adore and who’s supposed to adore you right back, no matter what. 

“I try but, he can’t just be making it all up.” you were ashamed. When did you become the girl that lets a guy affect how she sees herself? That just wasn’t you. 

“He is. He’s insecure and a douche. He was probably trying to destroy your confidence to the point that you felt like you couldn’t leave him.” Calum assured. “But you’re way too strong for him, dumped his sorry ass anyway.” 

You smiled gratefully at his words, taking a seat next to him. 

“Yea, so strong I tried to send him half naked pictures for reassurance.” 

Calum shook his head, “I wish you could see how hot you are.” 

Your eyes widened at the compliment, your head dropping to avoid his stare as blood rushed to your cheeks. 

“I’d be happy to reassure you whenever you want.” he continued, bumping his knee against yours under the table. 

“Doesn’t count.” you dismissed, before sipping your coffee. “You're my best friend, you’re obligated to tell me I’m pretty.” 

“Doesn’t mean I don’t mean it.” he muttered back quietly, his expression dropping slightly. He hated when you deflected his compliments. All he ever wanted to do was make you feel good, and you made it very difficult for him when you blocked every swing he took at the wall of insecurity that Cam had built around you. He would kill Cam if he could. 

You let out an apologetic sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shoulder. 

“M’sorry, you’re right. I love you for that, the only thing keeping me sane.” 

Your heart squeezed as he hugged you back. 

Calum was perfect, he was sweet, and funny, and quite literally your favorite person on earth. Not to mention you had been hopelessly in love with him since practically the beginning of your friendship. But as his best friend you had heard over and over just how uninterested he was in a relationship. Everytime you would ask about his love life he would just respond, 

“I’m just not the boyfriend type, m’not cut out for it.” shrugging nonchalantly. 

Which you thought was laughable because anyone would be lucky to have him as a boyfriend, in fact sometimes you would let yourself pretend he was yours. 

Like,in a busy club with his hands on your hips, guiding you through the crowds. So close behind, you could feel each exhale on the back of your neck, as his eyes darted around the room to ensure there weren’t any potential threats to your safety, in the form of drunk overzealous flirts. Or after a night out when he got cuddly and clingy, and would find his way from the couch into your bed. You’d wake up with his cheek pressed against your chest and his arms snaked around your torso as he released soft breaths that caused goosebumps to rise on your exposed skin. You’d let yourself imagine that you had this every morning and that he would wake up any minute to smother your face in kisses and tell you he loved you. And of course, here he was again this morning being so thoughtful and kind and everything you wanted in a boyfriend. And here you were again swimming in his praises and physically having to restrain yourself from kissing him. 

Begrudgingly, you pulled away and stood up. 

“Gonna get changed.” you spoke. 

“I’m making us breakfast.” Calum called as you walked away. You hummed in response and slipped into your room. 

Once in the privacy of your own room you quickly pulled on a pair of leggings and a hoodie before scurrying to the bathroom sink and splashing cold water on your face in hopes of ridding yourself of any romantic thoughts towards your best friend.

Although you weren’t aware, Calum was doing the very same thing just a few feet away. Internally reminding himself repeatedly that it was never gonna happen with you. He wasn’t good enough to be anyone’s boyfriend, let alone yours. You didn’t want him that way and he could almost trick himself into believing that he was okay with that.

You hastily finished brushing your teeth before returning to the kitchen. You were greeted with the sight of Calum’s back, he stood over the toaster cutting an avocado and humming a song you didn’t recognize quietly to himself.  He looked over his shoulder as your footsteps approached. 

“Hungry?” he questioned. 

“You have no idea.” you affirmed, as he fixed a plate for you both. 

“Good. I was thinking we could watch something while we eat,” 

“Fine with me.” you responded, hoping he wouldn’t notice the distraction laced in your voice. Your focus had easily been stolen from the conversation to how easy it was to see his back muscles flex through the thin material of his jumper. 

But of course he did, it was Calum after all. 

“Y’alright?” he said, handing you a plate. 

“Uh, yep.” you rushed out. 

“Not still thinking about Cam, are you?” 

“No, not at all.” you answered honestly, walking to the couch, Calum trailing closely behind you. 

“Then what’s got you all flustered?” 

“You” you thought, taking a seat in the furthest corner. 

“I’m not flustered.” 

“Bullshit” he countered, sitting practically on top of you. 

You let out a huff, and motioned to the other  completely empty side of the couch. 

“Is there a reason we aren’t practicing personal space right now?” 

He laughed softly at your question and nuzzled closer into your side. 

“Yea, you’re all pouty, looks like you need a cuddle.” 

 “I’m really fine Cal.” you shoved him lightly but saw no results, he just scooched in even closer and bit into his toast. 

The two of you sat in silence while some newly released action movie played on your TV. Calum’s arm was wrapped around your shoulders keeping you tight to his side, and although you could’ve sworn that you had been in this exact same position hundreds of times, you felt as if this were the very first time. Every single one of your nerves were on fire and the warmth that had flooded your body was making you antsy. 

Feeling overwhelmed by your senses, you allowed your eyes to flutter close with a deep inhale. 

“You okay?” Calum whispered, dipping his head down slightly to reach your ear.

You opened your mouth to respond but didn’t trust your voice to protrude through your shaky exhales, settling for a subdued nod instead. 

“You sure?” his words were long and drawled out, despite your eyes being closed you knew his proximity from the feeling of his breath just behind your ear. 

Before you could speak up his hand secured itself just above your knee, and your muscles flexed involuntarily at the contact. 

“Relax, y/n” he continued, his thumb beginning to run repeatedly over a spot on your inner knee. 

Everything in your brain was screaming at you to excuse yourself, maybe even kick him out, anything to gain some space and hopefully some clarity from the cloud of sexual tension that was looming over the two of you and blurring boundaries at lightning speed. But you were essentially frozen in place, petrified that any movement would alert Calum to the way he was affecting you. 

Your head lolled back to rest on his forearm which was lying behind you on the couch and finally peeled your eyes open, staring up at the ceiling. 

He watched you from the corner of his eye, taking note of every rise and fall of your chest, every thick swallow of your throat. 

If there was one thing Calum was well versed in, it was his ability to read you, he liked to think he knew you better than anyone else in the world. He could tell exactly how you were feeling just by watching you, your face, your breathing and he was more than shocked when he started getting the feeling you were no longer upset but something far more appealing. 

Were you turned on? Right here in his presence? The thought made blood rush to his dick, which twitched in his pants when another breathy sigh passed your lips. 

“What’re you thinking about, love?” 

Everything in you urged you to answer honestly, just tell him the truth. “You, I’m thinking about you. I’m always thinking about you.” But you couldn’t do that, so instead you deflected. 

“What’re you thinking about?” you countered, meeting his eyes. 

Calum questioned his next words very carefully, debating whether or not he could recover if he was wrong about what you were feeling and you shut him down. It was pointless though, he knew he would never recover from your rejection. He also knew that spontaneous combustion wouldn’t look very good on his tombstone and that’s exactly what would happen if he spent one more minute not kissing you. 

Fuck it. 

“That pretty little set you had on last night.” he confessed. 

That you weren’t expecting. 

A quiet whine rang from your throat and you were far too affected to feel embarrassed. 

And that did it, Calum was now impossibly hard in his pants, no doubt leaking precum onto his boxer briefs. He needed to get his hands on you, now. 

His hand started to slowly travel up your thigh, goosebumps rising on every centimeter they passed. 

“So gorgeous in red, aren’t ya y/n?”

“Cal,” you hissed when his thumb brushed the sensitivity of your inner thigh. 

“Mm.” he hummed. “It’d be pretty hard fo’me to stop right now, but I will if that’s what you want. Is that what you want, love?” 

He was sure he’d cry if he had to let go of you now, but he needed to hear you say it. 

“No, don’t wanna stop.” you whined, turning your body flush to his.

“Whaddya want then, baby? Hm?” You could feel his every word on the flushed skin of your neck as he leaned into the crook.

“Want you.” 

He could’ve came then and there. 

“Then I’m all yours.” he admitted before crashing his lips on yours. 

Your heart was in your stomach as his tongue entered your mouth, explorative and eager. He was too busy memorizing your taste to notice your fingers tugging at his sweater. You attempted to push it up desperate to feel his skin under your hands. You were able to pull the fabric up about halfway before they were blocked by his arms that were holding you close against him.

Calum laughed when you pulled apart from the kiss, giving him a disappointed look. 

“Want it off?” he teased. 

You couldn’t bother to be embarrassed when you nodded eagerly in response. He didn’t waste any time peeling the fabric off of his skin, and you were quick to lightly run a finger across the ink feather just below his collarbone. 

Now it was his turn to tug on your clothes, “Level the playing field?” 

You nodded, lifting your arms and allowing him to lift the sweatshirt over your head leaving your chest completely bare. Calum groaned at the sight of your tits, his hands quickly finding your waist and tugging you down to lay on your back in one swift motion. 

Once you were laid out in front of him he took the opportunity to explore the new skin. His hands left a lingering warmth as they dragged across your stomach and despite the kind words and endearing demeanor that he always upheld with you, you found yourself shying under his gaze, wanting to curl away from him. As your hands began to wrap around your stomach in an attempt to cover yourself up he quickly pushed them away, locking them in place on either side of you. 

“Wanna see everything baby, all of you.” he cooed in your ear before nipping at the lobe. 

His kisses began to travel down your neck, sucking a few marks to your collar bones and the surrounding areas. When his fingers grazed over a fresh bruise in the dip just between your neck and shoulders you hissed lightly. 

“You look so pretty marked up for me. All mine, aren’t you baby? Not Cam’s, mine. Say it.” 

“Yours, Cal.” you admitted, feeling your body sink further into the couch. You had never felt drunk off of someone’s words before and the experience was leaving you sputtering, completely compliant to your best friend. 

He hummed contently at your confession, his large hands gripping at your hips, before slowly peeling your leggings off.

“Y’feel so good in my hands, like you were made for me.” his thumbs poking at the soft skin, just beneath your panties. 

The feeling of his hands so close to where you needed them, but not quite there was driving you crazy. 

“Cal, please.” you begged. 

He groaned before tugging at the cotton covering you. “Cam’s a fucking idiot, y’know that? He had the prettiest girl in the world and treated her like shit. I’d never do that, wanna worship you baby.” 

It was ridiculous how overwhelmed his words were leaving you, all desperate and squirming. As his fingers met the soaked expanse of your cunt you couldn’t hold back the throaty moan it elicited. 

A pornographic sigh followed close behind, one that made Calum want to pinch himself to ensure he wasn’t in the midst of a haunting dream. 

“Soaked f’me darling.” he mused, running his fingers up and down your folds to completely coat you in your arousal. You whimpered at the feeling, bucking your hips up desperate for friction. 

Tutting while shaking his head, he used one hand on your lower stomach to press you back down to the couch. 

“Stay still for me won’t you, love?” he cooed, continuing to run his fingers over your core lightly. 

When you bobbed your head up and down in agreement he lifted your leg to his mouth, pressing a kiss to your calf. 

“Hm, good girl.” he praised, softly laying your leg back down. 

Calum hovered above you, dipping his head down every so often to peck at your chest, his fingers still unrelenting. The knot in your lower stomach tightened every second that passed and you felt like you could scream at any second, yearning to be full. 

Calum felt like he could burst any minute himself but was determined to make this experience the best of your life. He wanted to give you something to remember, a reason to want more. 

Your soft moans and frustrated grunts alerted him to your neediness and he was just about ready to give in for the both of you. 

“What do you need from me, baby?” he said against your shoulder before peppering kisses across your collar bones. 

You could only respond with an airy moan when his fingers found your clit. 

“Hm? My fingers?” You shook your head aggressively. He knew exactly what you wanted, the tease. 

“No? Want my mouth?” he teased further, leaving an opened mouth kiss in between your tits. 

“Cal,” you sighed. “Fuck me, please.”

He groaned at your words, nipping lightly at the skin before ridding himself of his pants. 

“You’re a fucking dream, y’know that?” he praised, desperately searching for a condom in his pants. When he finally located one he held it up to you as if it were a prized possession, smiling proudly at his own preparedness. 

He hastily freed himself from the constraints of his boxers and rolled the condom on, never once taking his eyes off of the blissful expression on your face. 

“Ready?” he questioned, his tip lightly pressing at your entrance. You nodded and sucked in a breath, bracing yourself for the stretch, your eyes falling closed in the process. 

When a few seconds went by and nothing happened you opened your eyes to find Calum staring down at you in awe. 

“Cal,” you whined. “what’re you doing?” 

Your words seemed to break him from his trance, he shook his head and muttered an apology to you. 

“Sorry, fuck you’re pretty. You’ve got no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this.” 

“Then stop waiti-” your words were cut off by a sharp hiss that couldn’t have been prevented as his length finally pressed into you. 

“Fuck.” Calum groaned his head falling back. You felt too good around him, seriously he was fucked, completely ruined for you. 

You felt the exact same as your silky moans filled the room. You had never been filled this good and you questioned how you had gone so long without this. 

“M-move” you sighed, clenching around him. 

You could hear his breath catch at the feeling and he grunted out a strained, “Need a minute.” 

He held himself in place for a few more seconds until his breaths began to even out once again before pulling nearly all the way out and slamming back in. 

You yelped, pulling your lip between your teeth in hopes to drown the sound. 

He continued slamming into you at an unrelenting pace, taking notice of each time your eyes would roll back when he brushed against your g-spot. He could write a book about how good you looked all fucked for him. 

As his thrusts grew closer together you could feel your release creeping up on you.  

“Cal, need’ta cum.” you stuttered out. 

His hands tightened around your hips, pulling you even closer to him as his head poked at that spot again. 

“Go on baby, let go.” he encouraged, willing himself to hold out a little longer as your walls fluttered around him. 

Once you had came it only took him about three more thrusts before he was painting the condom with his release, groaning your name as his hand searched for yours to intertwine them as he came down from his own high. 

  His body flopped next to yours on the couch, both of you struggling to fit next to each other in such a small space, not that either of you minded the close quarters. 

Your fingers remained laced together as you caught your breath, Calum peppering kisses to your shoulder and mumbling praises into your skin. 

“You’re an angel. God, I just- I love you.” he said, causing your head to snap in his direction. 

He looked like a deer in headlights when you asked for him to repeat himself. 

“I love you?” he obliged.

“Is it a question?” 

“No, I’m just not used to saying it.” he admitted, vulnerability clear in his eyes. 

You wanted to kiss away the worried crease in his forehead but instead pressed your lips to his, pulling apart a fraction of an inch to speak after a few seconds.

“I love you too.” you ensured. 

Calum eyes widened, not expecting you to say it back, at least not so soon. He had so much he wanted to say to you but figured all of it could be summed up by another kiss to your soft lips. So he closed the distance once again, using a bit more force this time in hopes it would convey the strength of his feelings for you.