lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
23K notes
·
View notes
My brain has latched onto thinking about the Batkids and their relationship to hugs when it comes to Bruce, so here's we go:
Dick got hugs by force and trickery. He was used to being held, and he wasn't willing to give that up. He flung himself through the air enough times that he trained Bruce to catch him, then clung to his neck and wouldn't let himself be put down. He demanded bedtime hugs, and off to school hugs, and good luck hugs. Bruce never offered them to him freely. Now, as an adult, Dick still has to request hugs. It's easy to get them, but they're never freely given. Bruce expects him to ask. Dick wishes he didn't have to.
Jason got hugs regularly. He was too skittish to ask, but Bruce remembered how Dick required physical affection, and transfers that to Jason without much thought about it. Jason appreciates it, cries about it, laughs about it. Hugs make him feel safe, and like he belongs. Later, after he dies, after he comes back, after things calm down, Bruce would still hug without being asked if Jason let him. He can see it in the way that Bruce's fingers twitch towards him when he comes near. He doesn't let him. Maybe one day he will.
Tim doesn't get hugs. They're not freely offered, and he doesn't know to ask. He doesn't think about it. He tells himself that it's okay that he watched the two before him (both at Wayne galas and on dark Gotham rooftops) get picked up and squeezed, wrapped in large arms that made them look small. He tells himself that that's not what he's there for. When he's older, long after he's no longer Robin, Bruce hugs him on one innocuous afternoon in the manor. Tim breaks down crying and doesn't stop for two hours. Bruce hugs him more often after that.
Damian doesn't understand hugs. At first. They're offered to him, stiffly, by his father, but he shies away and Bruce stops trying after awhile. It's Dick that really makes him understand. About affection. About family. For a while, Dick is the only person he lets hug him. One day though, after his Bruce comes back, Damian walks up to him with his arms held awkwardly out and lets himself enjoy his father's embrace for the first time. It doesn't feel like Grayson's, but maybe that's okay.
Cass figures out hugs eventually. She doesn't know how to go about it at first. She doesn't know if she's allowed. Eventually, though, she figures out that all she has to do is wrap her arms around Bruce's torso, and he'll let her. He'll squeeze her back and carefully brush her hair into place. She's never felt a touch that gentle before, and she quickly decides she likes it. She makes it a habit, and now, Bruce lifts his arms to make space for her if she's anywhere nearby.
Duke is a little awkward about hugs. For a while, he gets pats on the back for a job well-done, and that's about it. He doesn't know if he can ask for more. One day, he decides, to hell with it, and bear hugs Bruce out of the blue. Bruce grunts in surprise, but hugs him back with matched strength. He's not awkward about it after that.
Steph will claim she doesn't like hugs. Not from Bruce, anyway. She has plenty of other people to hug, she doesn't need him. Still, if she's upset, or if she's hurt, she can drop her head against his chest and he'll wrap her in his arms. Not for long. Never for long. But enough. And he won't bring it up the next time she claims that she doesn't need anything from him.
561 notes
·
View notes
A short comic about a mother who loves her son but worries about thing things he says. He talks about things she doesn’t understand and can’t exist. The doctor says he’s ill and needs medicine.
Image discerptions:
Image 1: a Red Line, a Blue Line and a shorter Yellow Line are under a starry sky. The Red Line says, “I’m worried about our little Billy”
The Blue Line says, “He’s fine! He just has an overactive imagination.”
The Yellow Line says, “Mommy! Look! The stars are so pretty!”
Image 2: The Red Line says: “I hope so but the things he talks about… he really seems to believe them. What if there’s something wrong with his eye?”
The Blue Line says, “I doute it. He can see us just fine, after all. If you’re really worried, we can take him to see the optometrist”
The Yellow Line says, “Up! Up! Up!”
Image 3: A 'Three Days Later' SpongeBob time card
Image 4: The Red and Yellow Lines are now next to each other on a white background.
The Red Line says, “Billy, please. The doctor said it’s to make you better”
The Yellow Line says, “I don’t want to! I don’t want to stop seeing the stars! They are so pretty!”
Image 5: The Red Line says, “I know sweety! But your eye is damaged and the doctor said if you don’t take this medicine, your eye might get worse and make you very ill. Please, I just want you to be healthy”
The Yellow Line is silent
Image 6: The Yellow Line asks, “Can I drink from the silly straw?”
The Red Line says, “Of course you can”
Image 7: From above we see a larger Red Triangle and a smaller Yellow Triangle. There is a purple circle between them and a black wavey line from the circle to the Yellow Triangle.
The Yellow Triangle says, “Yay! Silly!”
Image 8: A ‘Later That Night’ SpongeBob time card
Image 9: A large Red and a large Blue Triangle with a smaller Yellow Triangle upside-down between them.
The Red Triangle sings, “Rock-a-bye Billy
Please don’t you cry
It’s not your fault
You have that strange eye
Stay safe with mommy
You’ll never fall
And we’ll always love you
Sharp angles and all”
The Yellow Triangle says, “Silly mommy! Why do you look all fuzzy?”
399 notes
·
View notes
DO NOT BE AFRAID
this is combining Ovid's Heroides and the Excidium Troie because I can't stop thinking of Hermes telling him not to be afraid. what the fuck!! Ares is wearing the crown that Paris gave him.
I have. thoughts. about Paris. he's almost got this Troilos parallel in my mind, that the event that defines him in detail exists in a lost narrative that we don't have (the Cypria), but everyone else knew. the event that defines Troilos is his death (murdered, butchered by Achilles, the violence of which haunts everything after. Achilles, child killer, you can't escape that!), and the event that defines Paris is the Judgement. what's a lost text but a kind of grave!!
idk I don't think that Paris before the Judgement would recognize himself after bc when you become god touched, it rearranges your guts. you become transformed in the worst way possible! how could you recognize yourself! but I also think that all the Parises after the Judgement would recognize each other because that event is so locked into the trauma of war and the scar it leaves on the land, it's like a scar on the narrative too. it exists like this forever, over and over again, so you exist like that forever too. Troy collects grief and despairs.
Troy as trauma: Reflections on intergenerational transmission and the locus of trauma, Andromache Karanika
and Paris is like. a miserable little god/corpse-puppet or something, like a match for the gods to throw onto gasoline.
The Excidium Troie + Ovid's Heroides:
Excidium Troie, trans. Muhammad Syarif Fadhlurrahman
Ovid, Heroides 16 (trans. Harold Isbell)
a collection of things regarding Paris that made me go 😬 but under a cut bc this is getting. very long.
The Divine Twins in Early Greek Poetry, Corolla Torontonensis
Iliad 24 and the Judgement of Paris, C.J. Mackie
Elegy and Epic and the Recognition of Paris: Ovid "Heroides" 16, Elizabeth Forbis Mazurek
Ennian Influence in "Heroides" 16 and 17, Howard Jacobson
Paris/Alexandros in the "Iliad", I. J. F. de Jong
2K notes
·
View notes