#i definitely can & it doesnt feel that good

[midnite-c6]

hear me out — nam-gyu is actually soooo icky. i don’t care what anyone tells me. he’s a icky icky man. he’s so fucking mean too. he thinks of women as possessions (he’s sooo misogynistic. you can’t convince me otherwise) like what do you mean women are their own person and can control their own lives?! no…. they are possessions!

additionally, he is sooo convincing with his words — he can get anyone to trust him quite easily (especially if they’re naive) and he’s taking full advantage of that.

honestly nam-gyu probably has anyone naive trying things they were always against. he has such a way with words when it comes to getting anyone to open up or doing what he wants them to do. he'll give them everything they need to get them to say yes even if it means making promises he doesn't even plan to keep or fulfill.

also, no one can convince me otherwise that this man doesn’t have a thing for trad wives. he definitely likes the idea of codependency and the fact that someone clings to him like a second skin (but let’s be honest, he definitely doesn’t make it out to seem like he likes it — it’s always constant degradation from him: “stupid bitch, can’t ever do anything for yourself, huh? i have to do everything for you”). also likes the idea of baby trapping, because you can’t leave him ♡ but 100% does not like kids.

i also can see him fetishizes the FUCK out of lesbians (once again… this man is ICKY) and i definitely feel like if he was the type to get into a relationship with someone who is bisexual (or closeted lesbian. specifically if he coerces them) he would exploit the shit out of it. bro definitely has a premium subscription to ph. constantly doom scrolling to find something he hasn’t watched yet (specifically lesbians or threesomes (two girls, one guy) it’s definitely one of his biggest fantasies. he is soo gross ♡)

he would probably likes giving some naive, lightweight (never done drugs before) drugs that he knows they wouldn’t be able to handle just so he they can take advantage.

I AM GOING INSANEEEE. i am clawing and gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

warnings: 18+, DARK content, dubcon, baby trapping

bro i am so sorry i haven't let this out to the public sooner, this is so good and factual fr 💔 like this guy is an misogynistic incel honestly, idfc what anyone else says, u literally can see it in the show how he treats se-mi. he's a meanie.

THE PH SUBSCRIPTION IS SO REAL. also, forces or not, makes u watch porn with him, the disgusting ones like heavy bondage/bdsm, prolly whilst sticking a wand vibrator on ur clit in a setting that's intense BUT wont make u cum so its pure torture..

guys has anyone done se-mi x reader x nam-gyu ? like hello? hello????? ITS RIGHT THERE prolly would watch u & se-mi whilst he's cucking himself. or he's right in the middle of the action, both ur pussies rubbing on his dick.

also, i love nam-gyu corruption kink, to someone whos absolutely clean, pure, law abiding citizen, prolly doesnt even know half of the kinks or stuff u see in pornhub, BUT THAT'S WHY NAM-GYU EXISTS!! to teach you allat, to corrupt u :^

i just dont feel like hes a good person at all, in smut mindset, and in fr the character, hes those toxic bfs who's only "strong" cuz u're just a lil bit weaker than him. and if u try to leave, nuh-uh, u can't, u wanted a child to begin with right?

"fuck you mean, 'i'm leaving you'? bitch please," he scolds, pumping another load inside- straight to your womb, "you wanna be a single mom?" you shake your head immediately, you were on birth control.. but maybe not... oh no! "then don't bullshit me with saying you're 'leaving me'... you know you love me." let's just hope he'll be a good dad... (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

if anyone needs a fluffy lovey namgyu smut this aint the place.. jk, i would prolly post one too heheh <3 also, now i wanna make a full on incel!nam-gyu x reader smut mannn

[goshikisbaee]

Spending Valentine’s Day With Haikyuu Characters (part 1)

content: Fluff

[ Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Kuroo, Bokuto, Akaashi ]

———-

TŌRU OIKAWA

Valentine’s Day with Oikawa is nothing short of extra. From the moment you wake up, there’s a bouquet of your favorite flowers waiting for you with a note in his neat handwriting: “For the most beautiful person in my life.” He insists on making the day perfect— though his definition of “perfect” may include a little too much of his dramatic flair.

He shows up to pick you up in his favorite casual but classy outfit, grinning like he’s just won a championship match. “You didn’t think I’d forget, did you, my love?” he teases, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

He takes you to a cute café where he spends half the time holding your hand across the table and the other half bragging about how he managed to snag the “best date” in the world. The barista can’t help but roll their eyes at his antics, but you can’t stop laughing.

In true Oikawa fashion, the evening involves stargazing—because of course he has to incorporate something romantic and dreamy. Lying beside you, he points out random constellations, only half accurate because he’s too busy sneaking glances at you.

“I dont need the stars when I’ve got you,” he murmurs, brushing a strand of hair from your face. Cheesy? Absolutely. But with him, it’s always endearing.

The night ends with him pulling you close, a soft, genuine smile replacing his usual cocky grin. “Thank you for being my Valentine,” he whispers, his voice quieter than usual. “I promise, you’ll always be my number one.”

HAJIME IWAIZUMI

Valentine’s day with Iwaizumi is simple but meaningful. He’s not one for grand romantic gestures, but he makes sure you feel loved in the ways that matter. When you wake up, there’s a nearly wrapped box on your nightstand—inside is a practical yet thoughtful gift, like a hoodie that smells like him or your favorite snacks. “Didn’t wanna get you something useless,” the note reads.

When he picks you up, he’s dressed casually, but you cant tell he put in a little extra effort—his hair is styled just right, and he’s actually wearing that nice cologne you love. He greets you with a gruff, “you look nice,” before quickly looking away, ears slightly red.

Dinner is at his favorite spot—nothing fancy, just good food and a comfortable atmosphere. He doesnt gush over you like someone like Oikawa would, but his small actions say everything: making sure you get the last bite, keeping his hand on your knee absentmindedly, sending a death glare at anything who looks at you for too long.

After dinner, he surprises you with a late night drive, ending at a quiet scenic spot. Sitting beside you, he lets out a deep sigh, looking up at the sky. “I know I dont say it a lot, but… I’m really lucky to have you.” His fingers find yours, squeezing them gently.

Before you part ways, he pulls you into a warm, lingering hug, resting his chin on your head. “Happy Valentine’s Day idiot,” he mutters, voice softer than usual. You smile, knowing that even without the over the top romance, every moment with him is real.

TETSURŌ KUROO

Valentine’s Day with Kuroo is fun—because, of course, he turns everything into an opportunity to tease you. You wake up to a text that reads; “Happy Valentine’s Day to my favorite nerd. Yes, you’re my favorite. No you can’t tell anyone.” A few minutes later, another message: “wear something cute. Not that you need help looking good, but, you know… for my sake.”

When he picks you up, he greets you with his signature smirk and a ridiculous gift—maybe a cat plushie because “it reminded me of myself. Handsome, charming, and definitely your favorite.” But before you can roll your eyes, he hands you something real—your favorite snack or a small thoughtful present that proves he actually pays attention.

Dinner is at a casual yet surprisingly nice restaurant, where he spends half the time making flirty comments and the other half pretending to listen while secretly just admiring you. “You know, I’d let you ramble about anything if it means I get to keep looking at you.”

After dinner, he takes you somewhere unexpected—maybe a late night arcade or a rooftop with a city view. Sitting next to you, he finally drops the teasing for a second, nudging your shoulder before saying, “you know, I joke around a lot, but I mean it when I say you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Before the night ends, he pulls you into by the waist, looking down at you with that lazy grin. “Happy Valentine’s Day, babe. Hope you’re ready for many more.” And with that, he finally gives you the kiss he’s been holding off all night.

KŌTARŌ BOKUTO

Valentine’s Day with Bokuto is non stop excitement from the moment it begins. You wake up to a spam of texts:

“HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!”

“WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP”

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS???”

“IT’S THE DAY I GET TO SPOIL YOU, DUH.”

When he finally picks you up, he’s practically bouncing with energy, holding a massive bouquet—probably way bigger than necessary. “I didn’t know which flowers to get, so I got all of them!” He grins, handing them over like he just won an award.

Your date is a mix of everything fun—he takes you to an arcade, a cute café, and maybe even a spontaneous adventure like ice skating (which he’s surprisingly good at). Every few minutes, he reminds you, “BEST. DAY. EVER.” And insists on taking a million selfies.

At dinner, he’s a mix of loud excitement and soft admiration, stuffing his face one second and staring at you like you hung the moon the next. “I’m so lucky,” he sighs dramatically between bites, before pointing his fork at you. “Hey. You know that, right? That I love you?”

The night ends with him wrapping you in the biggest hug ever, lifting you off the ground effortlessly. “Best Valentine’s Day ever,” he declares, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. Then, with a cheeky grin, he adds, “same time next year? Actually, scratch that. Every day should be like this.”

KEIJI AKAASHI

Valentine’s Day with Akaashi is quietly romantic, filled with soft gestures that show just how much he cares. You wake up to a neatly written note left at your bedside—“happy Valentine’s Day. I hope today is as wonderful as you are.” A little later, he texts: “Are you free? I have something planned.”

When he picks you up, he hands you a small but meaningful gift—maybe a book you mentioned wanting, or a handwritten letter sealed in an envelope. “I wasn’t sure what to get you,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck, “so I just got something that reminded me of you.”

Your date is simple but perfect—maybe a quiet bookstore café, a scenic walk, or a cozy home-cooked dinner. He pays attention to everything you say, responding with soft hums and amused smiles. “I love listening to you talk,” he admits, twirling a piece of his food with his fork.

At the end of the night, he lingers at your doorstep, eyes gentle but hesitant. “I, um…” He exhales, gathering his thoughts before finally meeting your gaze. “I just want you to know that I’m really, really happy with you.”

Before you can respond, he leans in and presses a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he murmurs, lips curling into the faintest smile. “I hope I get to spend all of them with you.”

———

[lucabyte]

Going through the nohats tag and saw the “loops begins to look like a siffrin again” and bonnies reaction and man.

wouldnt that be poison to a siffrin? Loop fully believes and accepts that this isnt “their” versions of the family, that this family’s siffein is dead. They have started to open up to “Loop”, to accept them as they are now, even when they let down their mask, just a bit.

but they get too open, too honest, and all pf the sudden they have lost control pf their secret in the worse possible place thanks to the Universe, and what are they told?

that the family doesnt care who plays the “role” of siffrin. That as soon as they can look the part, they look at them with utter disgust until the Kid says “i missed you.” That no matter what, they arent “Loop”, because “Loop” is less important than “Siffrin”, and they wont care that you arent their siffrin, just that you can play that role.

no one would actually think that, and i dont think that would be something any loop or siffrin would say outside of an act 5, but it would definitely be a lingering thought at the back of that star’s head. Something they would have to push down every hug they get, every time they cuddle, and every smile they’re sent.

love the au, thanks for sharing!

yes !!!! 🎉🎉🎉 brilliant read anon hell yess ‼‼

I like this read a lot you're so right. If they do truly start to heal *by* partaking in the grieving of Capital-S Siffrin... Actually genuinely conceptualising themselves as seperate from them (even if this could too, in practice, be just as unhealthy as it is healthy). If they re-integrate into the party with a new role, smoothing over that maladaptive view that this party aren't "real people" with time and bonding...

Then to have it just, *reaffirmed* that they were replacable? That A Siffrin is still just A Siffrin. Doesn't matter what new things you built, you're going to be pushed back into that role even if you feel utterly alienated from it...

Absolutely yeah. Yeah this is a good take. It especially sucks to be coming from Bonnie here, I think. Since it would be grimly piercing even if the "polite", or hell, rational thing to do would be to recognise Loop as different. The emotional immaturity Bonnie necessarily has to run on as a kid can easily be seen as "more honest" or "more true", even if it might not actually be so. It's certainly something I think an extremely emotions driven character like Loop/Siffrin would buy into immediately and have gnaw at them. Even if the other members of the party recognise the issue (... if they recognise the issue) and try to combat it, well... Bonnie is kind of the main arbiter of truth in people's eyes on account of kids being cuttingly honest out of genuine innocence sometimes...

I suppose the question there is how willingly would they embrace this as an Emergency Out out of the situation, or would they be strong enough in new identity to push back...

Actually. Makes you wonder how much it could be a spur for the other idea of LoopLoops... Feels like a breakdown spurring from that would be a decent reason for them to desperately loop back to try and "right" this "wrong". hmm.

[walnutcookie]

Curious what are everyone's opinions on Dandy in the tower of souls au? You mentioned people usually got to him when they have a problem so there's definitely respect there but curious how they all personally feel about him

Dandy is viewed as a pretty swell guy !!! While hes naturally an extroverted person he also has to put on the Nice Guy act and exaggerate himself so that hes appealing to guests and trusted by the other toons. i should clarify that he is manipulative at times but for the most part the act he puts up isnt actually harming anyone, its more just something he does for his job since hes supposed to be the Super Friendly And Helpful One yk ,,,

Hes a bit calmer around astro, partially because he knows astro doesnt like extra noise and excitement but also because when theyre alone thats when he knows he can just. Relax and chill for a bit. he doesnt have to perform for astro

since his job outside of working hours is to be a leader for the other toons and manage the building and stuff he does have to make sure he has a good reputation and it Works Pretty Well !!! everyone trusts and respects him at minimum enough to do his job since hes pretty good at handling issues quickly and effectively (thanks to the help of astro but he doesnt like to be known).

he does have jealousy issues because he likes to be the main center of attention but he KNOWS that logically he cant get mad at the other toons for it but ohh boy. Vee and connie especially his jealousy is thinly veiled because kids absolutely adore those two. he tries his best to keep it professional. vee and connie think its kind of funny they can tell how pissed he is about it FHDSJFHSKJ its a pretty one-sided rivalry

[saintadeline]

More vague thoughts on this since this is getting more attention than I thought:

I see this one a Lot in music circles lately too, the whole "women and fems" groups, and self described "queer fem artists". Woman and Man are already arbitrary social constructs but in the eyes of cis people they still have a basis in the biologic (absolute bullshit but i'm trying to get to their level to make my point clearer), feminine and masculine however are 100% complete social constructs even to them and are words that are So arbitrary that the definition for them varies from person to person, so even as a basis you can see how an issue would arise by trying to refer to broad groups of people with your one arbitrary term that nobody but you knows the definition of. And half the time they don't even realize that their definition doesn't add up, what counts as a feminine person to you? When you talk about fems, do you talk about cis women? Do you include trans women? If so then why define fem experiences by stuff like pregnancy and periods? Do you consider trans women "masc" in your arbitrary new binary? Or are you choosing to degender them again? And if you don't use fem in that way (it's a start), then what about trans women that you wouldn't deem "fem enough"? Where do you draw your own arbitrary line with the word fem, which transfems are you excluding? And in the other much less common way around (because it's always about unchecked or ignored transmisogyny first and foremost please do not forget this), do you include feminine cis men? Aren't they fem by definition? And when you talk about "fem experiences", do you include trans men? Are you misgendering them for no reason? What about cis women butches? They're included in the experiences/oppressions you describe but they're literally not fem, are you just disrespecting their identity? "More fem artists" so no butches? So i'm just as oppressive as a cis man? "Bloodborne is about femininity" so butch icon lady maria is excluded from that societal critique of the patriarchy? Fem and Masc are extremely flimsy terms that should not be used to define anything that isnt related to the social constructs around them, and even then, they're not catch-all terms because femininity and masculinity are based on the culture around you and you just end up enforcing eurocentric social constructs on everything you try to talk about. I have my own qualms with the terms transmasc and transfem by pure definition, theres no alternative to them so obviously I'm fine with them and use them but I wish we werent in a world where we had to use those to define experiences. (In the same way i wish the word androgynous wasnt used the way it is) In my beautiful world there should not be "masculine" or "feminine" traits because sure it feels good for a transmasc on hrt to have their voice called masc, but what does that mean about trans women who don't voice train? If you deem a trait brought on by hrt as masc or fem, what does that mean you think of the person of the opposite gender transition experience (? Is there a term for that) who "still has those" or doesnt want to get rid of them. Idk. Also seriously what is it with "progressive" tme people (i'm tme so please stop me if I'm ever overstepping/said something weird. I would like to be corrected if so) trying so hard to include trans men and transmascs in what they'd usually dub "women's experiences" (usually either about biological shit like pregnancy once again. Just use "people with vaginas/wombs/people able to get pregnant" or whatever im begging you. Or it's about societal oppression -> idk even just saying "women and people percieved as women by society" works better) that they end up finding a whole new way to be transmisogynistic about it. How does soulsborne have one of the biggest trans communities i know of and yet people will go out of their way to be the most weirdly transphobic possible. We need to start being literal about definitions again and instead of using catch-all buzzwords we need to just describe more specifically what we're talking about. make longer sentences i dont care. I dont fucking know

My one Too Online post for the month but seriously does anyone else despise the way fem and masc are becoming the new hashtag inclusive way of saying woman and man. This is about trans stuff but this is also about when we get sentences like "bborne is about femininity" no the fuck it is not? It's about pregnancy and women's role in a patriarcal society yes. But that's not what femininity is. That's not what the word feminine even means.

[aeb-art]

note: the following is three (almost four) years post-game

okay fine i'll just draw comics for my au since writing is so dang hard smh

anyways welcome to two coins! where loop shows up again but siffrin only got the one hat ending

edit: part two

[puppppppppy]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[oceanwithouthermoon]

another thing i dont like about the belief that soulmates are a strictly romantic thing is like... people in this fandom will be like "aiura and saiki are only not dating because hes aroace" which does not make sense and is weird 😭 so like you think soulmates have to be romantic but it can cancel out if one of them is physically incapable of feeling romantic feelings... which, even though its STRICTLY romantic in your mind, is apparently totally possible and somehow more acceptable than just not dating your "soulmate" because you dont like them like that

"theyre not dating AND hes aroace" makes sense. "theyre not dating BECAUSE hes aroace" does not make sense.

[arcadiaamber]

i giggled reading this btw... today i learned how pissed off i can get pricefielders

anyways... im not even gonna geti nto the first point because i cannot comprehend whatever the fuck ur saying so... 😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️

2. calling me a dumbass is so funny but anyways.. i get that they have their chemistry or whtv but its literally not like they NEED to get back together 😭😭😭😭😭 if anything id like it if they just stayed best friends.. b. reconnecting with chloe most likely would NOT help her move on from the past because chloe IS the past. (i mean seriously shes her ex have u ever felt a sapphic breakup that shit HURTS..) me wanting max to be able to move on from her past without chloe is not bias and actually comes from what i want to see in her character aka GROWTH.. i get she can grow with chloe but she can as easily grow by herself its not like being by yourself is inherently a bad thing LMFAO.. perchance her growing without chloe might be better.. the fact u went thru my posts like a fan flatters me but i promise you im not a d9 bootlicker i just enjoy double exposure like a regular person would.. also im a pricefielder, except i dont kiss dontnod's ass sooo.... there was zero "character assassination" for either of them in my opinion anyways. i think theyre both in character, max is still the socially awkward nerd but shes more confident and i think thats a great thing. chloe breaking up with max because of the fact she couldnt move on from arcadia bay is realistic of her and definitely shows her growth from her 19 year old self to her mid 20s self. i dont get why you want these characters to be one dimensional and stay stuck as the same person forever.. they were teenagers in lis1. they are going to grow and change thats life. also you pointing out that max broke space and time for chloe enforces my opinion that max is codependent on chloe. she doesnt care what it takes or even what happens to her she just wants chloe to be safe, and i dont really think thats HEALTHY.. but what do i know about healthy relationships...

3. i hope u realize i was half joking when i said it wasn't bias for safield.. like yeah i obviously have some bias but also its nkt completely unrealistic to hope that the next game focuses on the two main character's' relationship 😭😭😭😭 idk man i feel like ur going a little loopy..

4. again with the insults ijbol... i never said that actually i said that i would be happy IF that was the endings given.. i never said i wanted her to be attached to ANYONES hip 😭😭😭😭 and i quite literally said after that id rather her be by herself for a while WHICH AGAIN ISNT A BAD THING.

5. i dont know how u sat there, played all five episodes of lis1 and came out of there with the conclusion its about pricefield. if there wasnt any violence against young women committee by jefferson the game wouldnt have a plot. it wouldnt have a story.

mannn idk after reading allat im inclined to believe you wrote that seething, steam coming out of ur ears, whistling like a teapot because i didnt kiss dontnod's ass and actually have a mind of my own. the amount of delusion in that essay as well good lordddd 😭😭😭😭😭 this is my first and LAST time i respond to one of these bullshit responses cause ya'll spew so much shit out ur ass it baffles me how u guys actually think that...

this is probably going to be EXTREMELY controversial so i dont expect ANYONE to agree (please dont hate me 🙏🙏🙏‼️‼️‼️) but i REALLY DONT WNAT CHLOE BACK IN DE2. I HAVE REASONS!!!!!!!!

1. i think that it'll be viewed as a cash grab and like pricefield / chloe fans r never happy sooooo

2. if chloe and max were to get back together for some unforeseen reason i think that woukd ruin max's potential growth in de2 in my opinion. like i PERSONALLY think that her 'losing' chloe should help her move on from the past and should be portrayed as something that can help her move forward instead of dwelling on what could have been (as taylor swift once said, everything you lose is a step you take 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️)

3. i think she'd be so out of place and id rather have de2 focus on max and safi's relationship and this highkey sounds lkke bias because of my fixation but i PROMISE YOU its not.. mostly...

4. i think that max should grow by herself i really dont think she needs to be attached to chloe by the fucking hip.. like i would be so fucking ecstatic if you got to be with amanda/vinh/safi at the end of de2 but i think the most realistic ending would be for her to be by herself, not FOREVER, but for a good amount of time for her to be secure with being by herself because i personally think max is extremely codependent with chloe.. if .. that makes sense

[aroaceleovaldez]

finally finished my project of collecting voiceclaims that are as close as i can find for my hcs of the main HoO cast - just for funsies so it's not as perfect as I'd like but whatever, it was a neat exploration and exercise of me trying to think of literally any franchise for voice actors.

Leo got two cause I had trouble of finding good clips for the voiceclaim that's closers to my hcs for him (the second half of his section). Also got to play the fun game of digging through my art for decent doodles of each character.

Also fun fact, I am almost completely unfamiliar with 3 franchises in this video and was just digging for voice clips on youtube. Try to guess which ones.

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

[xxplastic-cubexx]

just read the new mutants issue where Charles chose to stay behind in space and my god the juxtaposition between Charles trusting Erik and Erik joining the hellfire club and wondering at his own trust worthiness. I wonder how much of Charles decision was him ultimately trying to avoid the fact that his first class had seemingly betrayed mutant kind and not be willing to face them and how much of it was Dani and Illyana's reaction to him having Karma mind control Illyana. the fact that Illyana was depending on him to ease her mind through limbo and in choosing to stay he forced karma to do it instead, probably fucking up their relationship in the process.

I love him, this is crazy, how much of this is him trying to runaway and how much is this him not trusting himself to fix things and how much is it just him trusting Erik?

i keep trying to put into words my exact thoughts about the sitch but there really is a lot for one issue aintit... oh charles you and your brain...

[gigamuffinsofie]

reckless, disobedient, loud, confrontational, drinker and a smoker!! his ass is not making it past the pearly gates, he is not achieving moksha

[triglycercule]

i feel like horror would have sourdough starter. he doesn't even use it to bake he just keeps it alive like a funny little experiment. the yeast in that starter will never get to experience the fulfillment of becoming bread unfortunately

and then he totally gets mad at dust and killer if they dont take care of it properly when he can't. WDYM THE STARTER OVERFLOWED!!! YOURE SUPPOSED TO ADD LESS WATER!!!! that's his baby guys he named it and decorated the jar and EVERYTHING 💔

[pierrotdoesnteat]

is it normal to have this creeping fear whenever ur parent is coming up stairs? shes not like abusive or anything i just cannot handle her yelling at me again is this normal, im asking u because i think ur the oldest of all my moots so

okay sorry for talking a lil bit to reply to this, i really wanted to think of the right way to respond to this because obviously im not you and i dont know the relationship you have with your parents/household/etc and can only base my answer off of my own experiences and i want to answer it as carefully as i can i have believed that there is no harder time period in someones life than being like, 13-17 years old (even without the addition of mental and physical health issues) pretty much since i was 13 and im saying this as nicely as possible, we're on edblr rn. if youre here you probably struggle with some stuff and the combination of those with being in an incredibly difficult period of your life can be terrifying and i think that the further a lot of adults get from those years, the less they seem to remember what that felt like. you may have a good relationship (or maybe not) with your parent but its a lot easier for the negative moments to stick in your mind and come back when the emotions you feel are similar to what you felt then; my relationship with my mom was incredibly rocky pretty much up to the time that i was 20 to the extent that i willingly moved in with my incredibly distant father and stepmother for several months (which i can admit, i wasnt an easy kid or teenager), and there was a period of time where i knew how the stairway in the house creaked under different peoples footsteps (even the animals) and could prepare myself for whoever was coming, and i used to hallucinate my mom yelling my name when i would put my headset on. the older i get the more im able to seperate what was genuinely deserved, what was heat of the moment, and the things that i do wish she would apologize for and its stayed pretty important for mending that relationship now that theres space.

with that being said, even if a relationship is good a lot of the time, even if it isnt abusive, if you experience something over and over again, and in the same place/by the same person each time, like being yelled at, it can make the way you feel about that experience/person/place worse over time and it weighs a lot heavier on you each time, especially if its happening often enough that you dont really get to decompress or process the emotions, it can feel really hard to manage those emotions and i can entirely understand how you would feel fear because of that. if you feel like it would be a possibility, there have been times where ive written down a few moments that stand out more than others and asked my mom if she remembered them or what caused them and it helps to talk through them, but if you don't feel like that would be a safe option, try channeling the way you feel about it into hobbies. i personally find art journaling really helpful, or even just getting out of the house for a walk to have some space apart both physically and to let the emotion of both people and place settle, if that makes sense.

if all that got a little long/confusing im sorry and you are completely free to DM me or send asks with more questions if you need

[spacedlexi]

i forgot how weird people get sometimes when you add minnie to clemvi situations :/