carefree-raen - Tumblr blog

[carefree-raen]

Random thought but I made Star originally from Las Vegas and the main reason is because when she sees Las Nevadas for the first time I thought it'd be so funny cuz like:

cWil: *scoff* What a ridiculous place. ...You alright, Star?

Star: *staring at "the needle"* I've got this distinct feeling I should either cry or throw up and I don't know why

[carefree-raen]

I need like different names for each stage of Misplaced Constellations to signify which version of Star I'm talking about cuz the character growth goes CRAZY like:

Pogtopia (Pre-Festival) Era: When she first arrives to the DSMP and is trying to help Pogtopia win back L'Manberg

Pogtopia (Post-Festival) Era: After the festival when she gives up on helping, has a massive mental spiral, and decides to go along with Wilbur's plan to blow it all up

New L'Manberg (Pre-Talk w/ Ghostbur) Era: Star's now this numb ghost that nobody can see who just hates herself and won't stop having lil breakdowns all the time

New L'Manberg (Post-Talk w/ Ghostbur) Era: Decides to use the opportunity of being around to finally try to help again (and it actually works a lil bit yippee!!)

Limbo (Pre-Breakdown w/ Wilbur) Era: Is terrified and infuriated that she's stuck with Wilbur who she subconsciously started blaming everything on, especially since it was right after she started to gaf again

Limbo (Post-Breakdown w/ Wilbur) Era: Having accepted that she'll likely never get out of limbo and that Wilbur and her were equally at fault she calms down. Overtime the two become inseparably close (being together for 8 years will do that) and trust one another wholeheartedly

Revival (Burger Arc) Era: Going along happily as Wilbur's shadow, enjoying being alive though constantly guilty that Wilbur takes the fall for everything she did. Bonds with Ranboo and begins to trust him a lot

Revival (Post-Burger Arc) Era: The guilt grows following Ranboo's death and things become tense as Star wants to tell everyone what she did and Wilbur refuses. Either way they're both determined to become better people.

Revival (Post-Dream's Death) Era: Everybody now hates Star since they know the truth, though many still don't trust Wilbur. Phil despises her and they're not on speaking terms with him. Tubbo is similarly betrayed. Now they can actually try to redeem themselves

Revival (Redemption Arc): Slowly but surely Star and Wilbur manage to make things up to most people. Tommy trusts them both again and others are starting to forgive/realize they don't want to hurt anybody anymore. Eventually Star finds peace, accepting the DSMP is her new permanent home and that she's okay with that

Back Home (Pre-Wilbur Arriving) Era: Star is suddenly thrown back into her world and now has to process all the trauma she endured alone without being able to tell anybody because they'll all think she's crazy/imagined it. Also goes through some hardcore therapy stuff and is treated like a freaky lab experiment

Back Home (Post-Wilbur Arriving) Era: Wilbur appears in her world and they're reunited, allowing Star to finally start to actually heal. They reconnect from where they left off and become even closer somehow

Finale Era: Mumza fixes things so Star and Wilbur have easy access to both worlds and they can well and truly finally rest. Nothing but happiness and healing from here on out as the two grow together, enjoying their lives and never taking it for granted

[carefree-raen]

Messy revivedbur that’s as finished as it’s gonna get :]

[carefree-raen]

Another Hypocritical Day

One of many (many, many, many) mindless chats Star and Wilbur have in the train station

16.5k words - Completely platonic dynamic!!

“I’m such a hypocrite.”

It was desolate in the train station. Empty and hollow. Cold and uncomfortable. There were few things to do to entertain yourself. Lately the cycle seemed to be: stare into space, play card games, wander down the tracks, at least one person has a mental breakdown, they have a conversation, and then they resume silence, thinking about whatever they could.

Thinking was the best thing to occupy time. It was all Star had.

It was horrible.

“What do you mean by that?” Wilbur asked, voice equally vacant as they stared at the tracks together. Six years now, Star had been watching those tracks. She was twenty-one, which was such an odd thought to have. If she were back in her own world, she could legally drink.

How much more enjoyable limbo must be when drunk, she pondered, thinking of one disgusting ram that passed through every now and again, always as equally drunk and high as he could possibly be.

She hummed, looking up to see if anything new had appeared on the dot matrix display. Nothing, as it had been for a while. Last she remembered, there was some conversation going on between Ranboo and Phil, but that was forever ago. “It’s just…” she started, unsure what her point had really been.

“I broke a promise,” Star decided, and as she turned to look at her partner of hell, he seemed almost amused.

“We’ve all broken promises. Hell, we’re all hypocrites. I don’t see why it really matters,” he said, but Star knew he wasn’t making fun of her. He just had a point.

A good point. They were never getting out of limbo, even if Tommy had made it out around two years ago. Things like promises and good morals hardly mattered in a place like this.

There was never any necessity to their talks. Nothing they said or did mattered.

It was just to fill up time.

“I promised my brother I wouldn’t leave him. And my mom. And my friends, my dogs even. Promised a lot of people I wouldn’t go. And here I am, rotting away with you.” Despite the grimness of her sentence, she ended it with a joke, smiling cheekily at the Brit beside her.

He grinned back. “And what lovely company I am.”

“You are,” she agreed, breaking the bit with her sincerity. They quieted for a moment, having one of their silences that was sweet and caring rather than full of dread. Star liked those pauses a lot more. It reminded her how lucky she was; that she could’ve been stuck alone, without Wilbur. Both of them knew how much worse it would be alone.

“I’m honestly surprised you ever went through with it,” he said tentatively, interrupting the quiet once more. Star gave him a thoughtful look, so he continued. “Didn’t you mention you had a fear of death?”

“Ah, well, that’s complicated.” A lot of things were complicated. The statement, just like the entire conversation, was meaningless. But she went on nonetheless. “I have a fear of other people dying. Lived my life day by day, constantly expecting to wake up and have everyone I ever cared for dead.”

It was a bad summary of the fear, to be sure. But she knew Wilbur got the gist. He always did.

From the moment Star had lost her grandpa, she traveled with a new kind of fear. Before she was afraid of the monsters of the dark, losing her life to the shadows of the night. But after that day everyone else became more important. What does it matter if she lives, anyone she loves could be gone in the blink of an eye, and that was terrifying.

The moment Tommy had initially shown up had turned sour fast. As soon as it actually hit Star that Tommy, a kid so full of life and confidence (someone who reminder her so painfully much of her baby brother) had been murdered, she’d crumbled. For a good week she’d spoken to no one, only sat and listened on the rare occasion someone else (usually Wilbur) spoke.

Wilbur hummed in response, fiddling with a spare card in his hand. It was the ace of spades. Star wondered if it held any meaning, if it was possibly poetic that he happened to be holding that card and whatever it may represent. Not like she’d know.

“I was never afraid of dying,” he said, looking back out at the tracks. “Sure, I was afraid of a lot of things, but never that.” 

He didn’t need to say what, for Star had feared them too in her final months of life. The fear of being abandoned, of being a failure. Of being a monster that could do nothing but hurt. “I broke a promise to Tommy. Several promises, but the biggest was on that day." There was no need to specify. Star instantly knew what day he was referring to.

"I'd told him we wouldn't do it. And for some stupid reason he trusted me. He-” he cut himself off with a single dry laugh, “He believed I wouldn't give up.”

Another silence came over the two, and Star imagined a breeze whistling through the freezing station that was their prison. Still nothing on the display, though the clock above it read 4:27 pm.

Maybe, in another life, Star would be an adult right now. She’d be getting her degree in something, seeing the world and hopefully doing what she loved. Maybe she had friends. Maybe she had a lover. Maybe, somewhere else, it all went right, and this world stayed a story and nothing more.

A part of her wanted to sob just thinking about it, but she was so tired of crying.

“Why…” Wilbur suddenly started again, though he seemed to shrink in on himself as he started. Which was a surprise, seeing as they’d basically given up on any formalities a good couple of years ago. They were stuck with each other either way, why bother sparing any feelings?

“What?” she prodded gently, and when they made eye contact, Wilbur looked almost afraid.

“Why did you do it?”

“...The button?”

“No. The sword. ...Why did you ask Phil to kill you? I know you said that was part of the story in your world, but… Why did you die?”

“Wilbur…” Her words weren’t bitter. They weren’t vile with resentment. Simply sad and open as she said, “You know why.”

He looked away, frowning in a way that revealed he did in fact know, but hadn’t wanted to admit it.

“I guess… I never really wanted to die. Just wanted to disappear,” Star whispered, feeling that if she spoke any louder everything would shatter.

“What’s the difference?” Wilbur croaked, eyes gleaming with memories they both wanted to forget.

“Wanting to die is wanting to die. You want to stop living because you don't think you deserve it anymore. I wasn't thinking about what I deserved at all."

A pause. Star’s chest felt heavy as lead as she struggled to let out a breath. Not that she needed it.

She was dead, after all.

“I wanted to disappear. To cease existing. I thought th- that, if I went away, everything would be better. If the villain isn’t there to progress the story, then the story ceases to exist, right?”

Wilbur said nothing, so she continued on.

“Which is stupid, because I knew there were other villains. I knew it would go on if I died. I don’t know, maybe I thought you’d be put back in charge and I’d be gone, so I couldn’t meddle anymore. I- maybe I hoped that I was different enough from you they’d all stop. That maybe I was worth enough for anyone to actually care about me being gone.”

“I cared.”

Her first response was to scoff. She believed he was just saying it out of pity. But then her brain remembered another promise.

“Can we please be honest with each other?”

“Why… why would you trust me?”

“You’re all I have left, Star. Please.”

“Okay. I promise.”

“I was so selfish, but when you snapped at the festival I was so happy,” he said, giving his own bitter laugh. “I thought that finally someone understood it. You understood why it was all meaningless, why it all had to go. I thought that I- I wasn’t alone anymore. And I was selfish, and I was going to cling onto that as much as I could.”

Wilbur was near crying, Star realized as her own vision blurred. They made eye contact, and he gave her a shaky smile. “But when I showed up here, you weren’t with me. And I was alone again. So, really, Star, I cared. I cared so much that you were gone.”

Her heart warmed past any chill the station made her feel.

With a laugh, Star replied, “I remember how excited you were when I showed up. It… I guess it makes sense now. God, I was such a dick to you-”

“You were a total asshole to me, yes,” Wilbur cut off, laughing through the tears that dripped down his face. Star joined him, and they both awkwardly laughed and cried together, leaning against each other for support.

That’s what they were: each other’s support. Wilbur held Star up, helped her not feel alone and insane, and she did the same for him. They’d be lost without one another.

“Y’know, it’s really not healthy for you to be so dependent on me, Wil,” she muttered, shifting to lay in his lap as everything quieted down once again. He laughed, and it was almost full enough to be real, but Star doubted either of them were capable of really laughing. No one could be truly happy in this place.

But, at that moment, she felt really close to it.

“Gods, you’re such a hypocrite.”

[carefree-raen]

The way I took a quiz and this result is literally just the plot of Misplaced Constellations like WHAT

[carefree-raen]

Characters dynamic that’s like “ they’re not in a romantic relationship but they definitely love each other with all their heart and fucking soul”

[carefree-raen]

Another assortment of images to draw your self ship(s) as.

Do NOT Interact: Pro//Ship + Neutral, adults who ship with minors, and real people shippers

[carefree-raen]

its been a hot minute and im goth now ig so i suppose we fit more ship tropes now lol

[carefree-raen]

₊‧✩ get to know my self insert ask game! ✩‧₊

🎀 Do any canon characters- excluding your F/O(s)-  have crushes on your S/I?

🌩️ Do any canon characters HATE your S/I? Who’s their worst enemy?

🪄 Which canon character is the closest to being the complete opposite to your S/I?

🐛 What kind of character development does your S/I go through within their story?

🎤 Do you have any voice or face claims for your S/I?

📷 What are some images that sum up your S/I’s aesthetic?

👕What are some other outfits your S/I wears throughout their story? Show us some examples of clothes they wear!

✨ What are some of your S/I’s favorite things other than your F/O? Song, food, color, etc…?

📚 Do you think any of your S/I’s from different medias would get along?

🫏 What are the silliest three facts you can share about your S/I?

🩼 Do you have any S/I’s that die in their story?

🧸 Does your S/I sleep with stuffed animals? What do they look like?

🎒 What does your S/I carry around in their pockets/bag/purse/etc.?

💎 What’s your S/I’s most prized possession? (Other than your F/O)

[carefree-raen]

Trying something fun today. Draw you holding your OC like this. I'll start.

Ah yes, me in my rawest form... with Jade! 😂

Tagging (no pressure at all)! @alypink @welldonekhushi @revnah1406 @kaitaiga and every one of you who sees to do this!

[carefree-raen]

At moments like these I wish I was better at talking to mutuals because I need just one person to indulge me in all this nonsense

[carefree-raen]

My brain at all times:

[carefree-raen]

Also now that I'm thinking about it, would "Therapy, At Last" count for this blog too? Just since the therapist I use is technically a self-insert of me. Hmm...

[carefree-raen]

I know I said this blog was mostly for posting art and writing but tbh I'm also just really excited to blab all of my cringey thoughts for my stories because they've been trapped in my head for years

[carefree-raen]

Drew this like two weeks ago now and it was very fun

No clue what the context is but this is cStar's current revived design (probably gonna be changed in the future). All I know is I heard the song Oblivion by Halfy & Winks and knew I had to draw somebody falling, so here ya go :D

[carefree-raen]

Ok real talk tho how do I make this blog have like a legitimate webpage and not be just that little pop-up square it's bugging me >:/

[carefree-raen]

I wrote a fic depicting my take on the District Attorney from Who Killed Markiplier! You should all totally definitely read it it's very cool and there's lots of Damien involved pls pls pls k byyyyyyye