#i could get into themes of abuse in this show and that whole topic but that is. a whooooole other post i have THOUGHTS about that one

[nyxofdemons]

i think what it comes down to with shows like helluva boss and the fact that antis are allllllways complaining about it being "toxic" and "romanticizing unhealthy relationships" is that like. that's the point. like i truly don't get how you don't understand that that is the point. i like toxic romance in fiction. i like complicated messy unhealthy dynamics. i like characters who are flawed and hypocritical and bad people.

listen, there are some genuine criticisms to be made about this show, but ultimately so much of what it actually is in this fandom is just... people hating on it for being an adult show. the characters are, largely, not good people! you're not supposed to idolize and aspire to be like them! like sorry that you've only consumed escapist children's media for so long that you believe that all protagonists are supposed to be self-inserts but you are actually supposed to disagree with some of their actions and behaviors for this one. and claiming the show is "romanticizing abuse" just because it portrays an unhealthy relationship (that neither party is happy with!!!) is just. downright conservative and functionally puritan lmao

like. have you never read a whump fic. have you never watched a "dark" show. portraying unhealthy behaviors =/= condoning those behaviors in real life. i truly do not know how to make this any clearer for you

[pinkeoni]

WillEl Narrative Mirroring: Presenting Themes of Sexuality

If we consider powers as a means to present themes of sexuality, then looking at Will & El and how they mirror each other in narrative can reveal different angles on this topic and how the two sides of the coin come together to create a balanced whole.

Very very lengthy discussion of sex, sexuality, sexual assault, and child sexual abuse below the cut.

Will and El being different genders is important to their narrative mirroring, because they are displaying the difference between expectations in regards to male and female sexuality. Let's start with El and what her story says about female sexuality.

Layering the subtext behind supernatural elements is both practical and ethical, and I honestly applaud the Duffs for choosing to go this route rather than making it more explicit from the start, and instead sewing in details along the way. It helps keep the story digestible, allowing for a story like this to be shared to a wider audience while also not forcing their incredibly young actors to portray potentially very traumatizing circumstances.

I'm not the first nor will I be the last person to talk about all of the csa coding regarding El, Brenner, and the lab, especially here on tumblr. I was actually sent an anon awhile back linking a blog post back from 2016 that analyzed this exact thing.

"Eleven's interactions with 'Papa' are laden with coercive, coded language, intentionally leading viewers to make sexual abuse connections beneath the surface of the experiments we are shown. Eleven, vulnerable in a thin hospital gown, is told to "go deeper" and to ignore the men watching her perform. She is told the monster wants her, to go farther, "not to turn away from it." This language is intentionally loaded."

Girls are often forced into their sexuality at a young age, usually for the gratification of men

Young El, in hardly a hospital gown, is being forced to utilize her powers for the sake of Papa Brenner and other men in the lab. The sexuality/power connection is being established very early on.

And even once El has escaped the clutches of the lab and seems to find safety—

And before I have fingers pointed at me, no I am not trying to vilify Mike for this moment nor any of the boys for wanting to use El's powers to find Will. It's more complicated than that. The boys were young, their friend was missing and in danger, and they were excited by the prospect of a real life superhero being able to save their friend. I'll also get into how Mike is a victim of this forced heteronormative relationship much later in the post.

But still, even without meaning to, the boys are reinforcing the role that El is expected to fulfill, which is to use her powers and sexuality in service to the men in her life

Something impressive about that blogpost I linked earlier is the rightful calling out of how gross miIeven is way back in 2016, when the two were considered America's cutest couple by the general public.

"Crucially, in the climax, after Eleven's body is once again used for others, Mike promises her a home, and Eleven shows a glimpse of light, is almost comforted. She'll have a family, she'll have safety. Promise? No, Mike says. She'll have their mother, but while she's wearing his sister's dress he explains she won't be a sister, that he wants Eleven to meet his desire for a girlfriend. How could he possibly understand that more boundaries and a boyfriend is the opposite of what she needs?"

Girls oftentimes do not see many options outside of their sexuality

Starting in season 2 El has two modes of thinking: girlfriend or superhero. Her line of thinking isn't helped much by Hopper, who keeps her isolated from outside world. And like the boys, this is a complicated situation. Hopper is keeping El inside for the sake of her safety, lest the government catch her and lock her up again, and either use her or kill her. Still, this isn't good for her personal development.

Whereas Brenner was the sexually abusive dad who forced his daughter into adult roles at a young age, Hopper is playing the role of the overprotective dad who doesn't want to see his little girl grow up, something that continues in season 3. In his eyes, he is keeping El protected from the men of the outside world who are likely to want to take advantage of her, and keeping her locked in is his way of preventing that. But doing so is damaging to El's psyche in ways he may not realize.

So El is kept locked inside with some of her few windows to the outside world being spying on the boy who wanted her to be his girlfriend, and spending the entire day on the couch watching romantic soaps. Her options regarding freedom are skewed.

When El gets her first taste of freedom and leaves the cabin, she's in girlfriend mode. We know this when we see her go to Mike and she misreads and becomes jealous of his interaction with Max. Now I won't deny that El and Mike do have genuine care for each other, but here she ditches a boy that she hasn't seen in almost a year because he seems to have found another girl to fill that girlfriend role.

Having been hung up on in the void and replaced, El changes trajectory: superhero.

I do want to point out and emphasize the importance of El going to see Terry before this moment. El is not a robot that is programmed for sex and powers. She is very much human, and we see her desires for family and the life she could have lived, which is her motivation to seek both Mama and Kali.

Kali, another woman with powers who had been mistreated like her, offers El an alternative— use her powers against the men that have hurt her. When El sees that Kali is seeking her power as a means to use them, El leaves to save her friends and family.

I once again want to reiterate again El's humanity and her heart. El isn't returning to Hawkins simply as a means to become Mike's girlfriend and to become a superhero. She is doing so because she wants to save the people that she loves. Still, El's resolve for the season isn't super ideal given her overall arc. She is effectively fulfilling the roles that have been charted for her since the beginning. She learns that she can be a superhero and a girlfriend! Yay!

With danger out of sight, El seems to be spending her time doing the only other thing she thinks she can do, kissing Mike in her room. An activity which is described by Hopper and the rest of the party as being "unhealthy" and "bullshit."

So what is the solution? Completely remove her sexuality as Hopper aims to do?

We now come to my favorite friendship in the whole show, as well as the most important character in El's arc—

Max doesn't suppress El's sexuality or enforce it onto her, but rather is the first person who allows El to explore what she wants, offering her assistance but allowing El to lead the way. Brenner, Kali, Hopper, and Mike have all wanted to shape El into what they wanted her to be. For Brenner, a weapon. Kali, an avenger. Hopper, the perfect daughter. Mike, the perfect girlfriend. Max wants El to be whatever El wants to be. (God I love the elmax friendship so much)

Like I said before, Max does not aim to strip away El's sexuality like Hopper does. Hell, I wouldn't even say that she wanted to keep El from Mike. Hell, Max was even asking El if Mike was a good kisser after El had dumped him. Max is the one who offers to give El her moms Cosmo magazines. She isn't keeping El in the dark about sex and sexuality, but offering her a road map and actual information in order for El to come to her own conclusion about what she wants from it. El can look at pictures of Ralph Macchio and use her powers to spy but also enjoy shopping, listening to Madonna and reading comics.

When El is pushing her powers to find Billy, something that El choses to do of her own volition, it's the girls in her life (Nancy and Max) who advocate for her to lead the way while Mike is the one who wants to control her. And yes, once again the situation is complicated, Mike isn't doing this to be an asshole but out of concern for her safety, but needless to say he isn't beating the controlling boyfriend allegations. And this displays another facet of female sexuality—

Men often feel insecure when women exhibit ownership over their sexuality

Mike, who previously advocated for El to use her powers if it meant helping someone, is now actively pushing against it when it's El in the driver's seat and not him. And maybe Mike was right and El was pushing herself too far. And maybe he was concerned out of guilt for pushing her the first time, but would it also be too out of left field to say that Mike equates his part of his self worth on how much El needs him?

So maybe now I’ll talk about Mike

Mike really isn’t trying to be this malicious, manipulative guy who is using El for sex. Really, he’s not. Mike instead is a young boy who is going through some rather tough internal struggles of his own, and unfortunately brings El into it with him.

Mike is enforcing the heteronormative relationship onto himself just as much as he is doing it to El

I personally read Mike as gay and that plays into this analysis. Mike found a girl that he cared a lot for and everyone around him assumed that he must have feelings for her, so he played the role of the straight boyfriend. When I see Mike making out with El in her bedroom, I see a gay boy constantly trying to become attracted to his own girlfriend. Maybe if he keeps kissing her, maybe it’ll do something for him.

Keep in mind that Mike believes that that’s what El wants him to be, he’s not forcing onto her something that he doesn’t think she doesn’t want. He may have kissed her first, but then El was the one who tried to kissed him at the Byers house. Mike is mistaking El’s own confused feelings for genuine ones.

Being El’s boyfriend was Mike’s way of giving El what she needed, a way to be useful while simultaneously giving him a way to be normal. But what happens when his true feelings are starting to become harder to ignore?

Remember that Mike wasn’t writing “Love, Mike” when he believed that El was doing okay on her own in Lenora and making new friends. It almost makes me wonder if Mike would have said “I love you” to El if she had told Mike she was in distress.

But then again, we do see El in distress in front of Mike and yet Mike still can’t bring himself to say it. It isn’t until El is quite literally on her deathbed that Mike finally works up the courage.

In season four we have El regressing into her superhero or girlfriend mindset, with a third option added— monster.

A pinkeoni analysis that mentions El’s superhero/monster dichotomy???? SHOCKER!!

When girls are not seen as sexually desirable, they oftentimes feel monstrous as a result

El doesn’t have her powers anymore, and Mike no longer sees her as worthy of being a girlfriend, which means that she must a monster. This is a thought that is reaffirmed through El’s treatment from her classmates, and later El’s intrusive memories regarding the massacre. The only way El knows to escape this monster label is to regain her powers using NINA. This is what El knows, how to become a superhero. This is how she becomes desirable again.

I think that Max’s distance from El is a good contributing factor. Not the only one, but a main one for sure. El no longer has that guiding force, and there isn’t a girl in Lenora that understands her disposition and seems willing to take her under her wing. Sure she has her new mom Joyce, who is usually on the phone. Or her new brother Jonathan, who is usually stoned. And her new brother Will, whom we see try an give El support only for her to shut him down with “friends don’t lie.”

So El goes through NINA, gets her powers back, learns she isn’t the monster after all, oh and her boyfriend can say “I love you” now. And yet, as El realizes at the end, it’s not enough.

I promise this post is also about Will too

Now is the part of the post where we shift gears and finally talk about Will. El has more screen time than him, so there’s more to cover. I also felt like discussing her first laid some important groundwork in regards to how Will mirrors her narrative.

El showcased a lot of facets regarding female sexuality. Will covers aspects of male sexuality, but specifically gay male sexuality, which is an important distinction.

What does Hawkins feel about gay men?

Yeah, it’s not looking good.

Gay men are oftentimes perceived as predatory and dangerous

Will’s sexuality is practically an open secret. Will goes missing, and the town’s first thought is that he was taken by another gay man. Troy doesn’t say it directly, but the implication behind his words is that Will was raped and then killed, thus feeling the need to clarify that the man behind it was “another queer.” Gay men rape little boys and throw them into quarries, or so the town thinks.

The eighties is also such an important set piece for this narrative because the entire show takes place right in the midst of the Reagan Administration and the AIDS epidemic. A young gay boy dies and its suspected that another gay man killed him. The government is eager to sweep under the rug what actually did it. The anniversary of Will's kidnapping is Reagan's 1984 reelection date to the day.

Heterosexual men are treated differently on the basis of their sexuality

Well, duh. But I did want to highlight the differences between gay Will and his evil-straight-name-twin, Billy.

Billy wears his sexuality proud and openly. Based on Max's dialogue in season 3 we know that he has sex with girls often. In his introduction we are immediately shown girls ogling him. He arrives in town and is instantly liked and regarded. He catches the eyes of the hot moms in town and he's liked by the other guys.

Oh, and he's racist, violent, abusive, and overall a total sack of shit.

We see Billy's sudden rise to popularity in the same season that we see Will's incessant bullying and him being branded "Zombie Boy" by what seems to be the entire town. Even Billy who's been in town for like a day is already calling him "the freak." Will is sweet, kind, friendly, wouldn't hurt a fly, but he's the weird homo whereas Billy is the cool straight guy with the nice butt.

Gay men's sexualities are often suppressed

So now we get to the part that exhibits the WillEl mirroring, as well as some “Will has powers” theoretics. I guess your willingness as a reader to continue forward may depend on your feelings toward Will with powers. I may lose some of you, or maybe I may even swing some skeptics with my explanation. As I say in most of my posts: bare with me.

If El's sexuality and powers are being forced upon her, then Will's sexuality and powers are being forcefully snuffed out.

Let's take a look at Lonnie Byers, in many ways similar to Papa Brenner and in many ways his antithesis. Both abusive fathers with silver hair, Brenner is the obsessive parent who wants his fingers all over his daughter while Lonnie is the distant parent who wants nothing to do with his gay son. Joyce's dialogue "Lonnie said he was queer. Called him a fag." indicates that his homophobia probably has something to do with his distancing. Lonnie's verbal abuse of Will was likely a method of trying to snuff out his queerness. And when that didn't work, he left.

(and if you wanna get theoretical you could say that he had connections to the lab, knew about Will's powers and was trying to get rid of them, but that's just speculative)

A big part of season one is the fact that the entire time, Will was in his own house. He was spending his time running and hiding from the monster that was in his own home, the one that wanted to kill him. And the only time he ever expressed himself, the only time he ever used his powers—

—was when his loving and supportive mother encouraged him.

But also keep in mind that almost every time Will tries to speak with his mother through the lights, express more of himself and use more of his powers, it usually attracts the presence of the monster. Will continues his cycle of running and hiding until it doesn't work anymore, and we get what is perhaps the most overt sexual assault imagery in the show that even little fifteen year old Robin Pinkeoni picked up on in 2016.

Season one ends with Will experiencing sexual violence, and in season two we see how this trauma is encroaching on his everyday life, as well as being stalked by the same man that took him and shoved a vine down his throat for the sake of reproduction. He follows Will to the arcade. He follows him while he's trick-or-treating with friends. He finds Will at home. Eventually, he finds Will after hours at school where he's able to reenter his body in the second most overt sexual assault imagery in the show.

Where El's sexuality was suppressed in season 2, Will's sexuality was being forced upon

Will is feeling the effects of this assault for the rest of the season. He's finding it hard to sleep, and constantly feels the presence of the man who attacked him, everywhere.

Vecna is possessing Will because he wants to use him as a vessel to control help control his army, and for whatever other powers Will may have. If El never closed the gate, if Vecna had completely taken over Will's body as he originally planned, what would he have done from that point on? Would he have just discarded Will's body, or was there something special about him that he needed?

Will begins to believe that everything people say about gay men is true about him

Keep in mind that at this point Will's only experience and exposure to gay sex is being assaulted twice, all while his father and the whole town is bullying him and telling him that gay men are predators. Will isn't a predator. He isn't dangerous and we know this about him. And yet Will uses the freak label in a negative way.

So it's no surprise given the internal and external that Will is suppressing his sexuality even further.

In season 3 El begins her journey of self-discovery and likes what she finds. Will knows exactly who he is

and he hates it.

Will fucking hates himself bro. He knows he gay. And he accepts it. But he also accepts all of the labels and restrictions that it comes with. I am gay. My sexual desires are dangerous. I can never express and experience love and sex the way I want to.

And maybe there is a glimmer inside of him that sees that what he is is a wonderful thing, that maybe he does deserve better than all the abuse he's endured just for being who was.

And maybe these feelings were easier to pack away when he was younger. Maybe it was easier to say "I'm not gonna fall in love" when you're fourteen, but as you get older and grow into your teenage years...

...maybe your desires are getting harder to ignore.

What happens when you don't die innocent, and you grow up instead?

So we bring it around to season 5

El is a superhero and a girlfriend again. But it's not enough. Something is missing and she isn't fulfilled. Max is missing, and El is going to have to face and overcome her biggest challenge yet, which is completing her journey of self-discovery that started in season 3. She's going to have to put aside the expectations that many have for her and decide what she wants.

Will Byers is back in town. How has the climate surrounding gay men changed since then?

Oh! It's worse now!

Remember, the town believes that the same sodomizing Satanists are the ones behind the recent murders and earthquake. It's gonna be really bad for Will when he gets back.

So now Will is tasked with a challenge that is harder here in Hawkins than it might have been in Southern California. Maybe Will can't change the minds of these religious townsfolk but maybe he can somehow find a way to shift his own way of thinking. Embrace who he is, embrace his powers, and realize that he deserves more than the hand he's been dealt.

So that was... a lot

Analysis mostly over. Here are some of my concluding thoughts.

I know that this is probably one of my longest posts ever. I know that a lot of it feels like reiterating plot points, but that really felt like the best way for me to articulate all of my thoughts on this. A lot of it needs to be backed up with evidence from the show.

Also, sometimes when I sit down to make a new analysis, sometimes I don't make it because I think I have all of the answers, but I make it as a way to try and find answers. To talk through some of my long and complicated thoughts and open the floor to discussion. Even with the length of this post, there is waaaaaaaaay more that can be discussed regarding this topic (some that has already been discussed).

To wrap everything up, I wanna share this screenshot from Reddit, which low-key inspired this entire thing. For context, this was in response to a question asking if people expected to see a Will coming-out scene in season 5.

So, hopefully with this long ass post, I've proven that maybe the show is about the complex effects of one's sexuality in the 80's, actually.

[yourheart-inmyhands]

Hi the anon who requested the primordial sea one- that’s alright if you didn’t manage to do for the time being- in that case could I instead make a request for the archons (including Furina) with a reader who has a hydro vision instead but tries to keep their abilities eg Hydro resonance a secret so they’ll appear weaker than they actually are and the archons reactions’ to finding out (i have bias towards a particular archon already if you couldn’t tell)- it’s totally fine if you can’t but just know that everything is all good so dw too much

Also if I don’t mind could I take the 💧anon label if I can? Thanks a lot

ah ofc you can! if you still want to that is, it's been a bit since i've been able to get to this ;v; also i only did Zhongli and Furina because i'm trying to cut back a bit on how many characters there are per post so i hope you don't mind! :]

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including being held against will, delusional behaviors, abuse of power, violence towards furniture, talk of furniture being destroyed and thrown around, mentions of distrust between partners, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Zhongli would be immediately skeptical when he finds out. What reason would you have to hide your hydro abilities from him? Why would you need to appear weaker than him? Zhongli would assume there’s more you’re hiding from him, locking you in a room until he feels you’ve confessed everything there is. You could be in there for anywhere from hours to days, so long as Zhongli feels there’s something you aren’t telling him, he’ll keep you there. The creak of a door slowly swinging open had a sense of dread washing over you, the dimly lit room that already seemed to feel small felt like it had shrunk another 10 feet. Zhongli had come to feed you, something he did a few times a day, depending on how well he felt you behaving. Ever since he stumbled upon your hydro vision, which you thought you had hidden pretty well, he had been particularly upset with you. He was determined to find out what you were hiding from him, despite your constant cries that there was nothing you were hiding from him. He just couldn’t seem to understand that you wanted a simple, peaceful life with him and that you hid your vision because you didn’t want him to think differently of you.

Yandere!Furina with a beloved who hides their hydro vision would be hurt. Were you not proud of it? Was it not good enough for you? She’s hurt, upset, angry, and just a whole slew of emotions that she can’t even list ‘em all off. Her tantrum lasts for hours as she simply passes through every emotion, taking out her feelings on the battered furniture over and over until she can make heads or tails of what she thinks. The next you see her, she’s eerily calm, speaking to you gently and asking that you sit down and have a talk with her about it. You can expect the talk to be anything other than civil though, because as soon as she hears something she doesn’t like, all the chaos from before will rain down twice as fervently.

It had been an hour already, the sofa had been nearly split in half, the coffee table had a large crack running up the center, and everything else in reach had been beaten to bits. Furina didn’t take the news of you not only receiving a hydro vision, but receiving one and not telling her very kindly. Technically as the Archon of Hydro, she was supposed to be aware of all Hydro Visions that were received, but like the other Archons, it was simply an overtold myth. At one point in time, when visions were few and far between it might’ve been true, but nowadays the glittering representatives were handed out by the dozens. Still though, Furina was fuming about how she could’ve missed it. You of all people should’ve told her as well. What was Hydro not your favorite element? Well it should be. Perhaps she just needs to show you why it’s so great? No, that’s not a good idea, maybe that’s why you didn’t like it in the first place? Cause she’s so mean! No that couldn’t be it either! A loud scream and the cracking, wall-shaking sound of the table being thrown against the wall were heard throughout the manor as Furina tried to make sense of any of the thoughts in her head. She had no idea what could’ve compelled you to hide your vision from her, but regardless of the answer, she’ll never be happy with it.

[justghostly-things]

Why Mike Wheeler should get Vecna'd

I might need to rant about Mike Wheeler (to like the surprise of no one.) because if it's gonna be anyone its gotta be him, right? I don't think he is gonna die, or it's gonna be the exact same as it was for Max. (Simply because we have seen it before.) but I don't think it would be beneficial to Vecna any of the other characters.

and assuming that the Duffer brothers aren't just bad writers we know Mike has been acting weird for two whole seasons now. (I personally think it was worse in season 3 but it was still strange in season 4.) The show established him a certain way in season 1 then nailed it into the coffin that this is who he is in season 2 but then season 3 rolls around and he is just... Different. (An ass) Of course, we have our theories and analysis (thank you, to anyone who have compiled all the hints into one place what would we do without you 😭This or This or This)

but still.

Since we are talking about Stranger Things S4 and S5 there are a lot of uncomfortable topics that are going to be mentioned, I do not go into details. I barely mention it. I do not describe anything, but I do talk about the themes. Please stay safe while reading

We should look at this in three ways.

What it brings to the story

What advantage would it give Vecna (aka why would he want to Vecna them)

And how does it help the character

Let's talk about Max first. Because we can work out the logic with her and then try and translate it to other characters.

I think its import for this section to know that what Max has delt with is a very scary real thing. Many children have a very similar life as Max, and all I am going to do is talk about them from within the show. I will say is you are not a bad person because you wish death on someone who is hurting you. But from here on I am talking about Max from both her Pov and Vecna's. None of these things are my thought or feeling on the greater topic of abuse and dysfunctional families.

From a story perspective why was Max the one who got Vecna'd and not like, Dustin or Lucas? If you answered because she watched Billy die. Yes. Anyone who understands a progression of a story can figure out why it makes sense for Max to be Vecna'd. We create this guy who shows you your trauma reflected back at you and then kills you as seen in both Fred (Nancy's friend) and Chrissy.

Which of the main cast of characters just went through a trauma event just the season before? Max.

I think if this is all you take from season 4 you have fundamentally forgotten one important thing about Max getting Vecna'd. It isn't just about the trauma of her watching her brother die. No, Vecna specifically targets the fact that Max deep-down wished-for Billy to die, she used to fantasize about it. It isn't just survival guilt. And we are shown this visually through Fred who also has survival guilt. Their trauma is different because Max's guilt isn't just about surviving. That is why it had to be Max. Because all of the characters could feel some sort of Survival guilt. They have watched so many people die and get hurt. it reveals two things. One is how Max truly feels about Billy's death, and two it tells us more about what Vacna is actually doing in the vision. Because he isn't just trying to torture a traumatized Max to the point that she willing to just give up. it is showing Max some "ugly truth" about her to herself. Because that is what Vecna is. Or thinks he is. He sees the world as horrible and should be corrected and the only way to do that is by "starting over". This is him showing max what is "wrong" with her and killing her (so he can start her over/create a new her)

I feel like I need to rewatch season 3 again because I can't remember exactly but I think Max most likely played a big part in season 3 where she kept meddling with Possessed Billy. (Mike did too but we will get to that(this thing is gonna be long btw)) She showed that she is willing and able to mess up Vecna's plans.

(It is kinda a debated if it was just the Mind Flayer or if it was Vecna himself that possessed Billy (and Will in season 2) but for the purpose of this we will say that he at least knows the role that Max (and Mike) played in the mall fight.)

All of this to say from Vecna's Perspective, he sees a group of kids who keep getting in the way, And they are all close to El? And one of these kids has extreme guilt about Billy? Yeah of course he targets her. It is so useful. It'll get to El and the rest of the party. Making them weaker and affect them emotionally so they are more likely to react irrationally. It's so perfect for him. Literally Max says so in the show.

and Max, (I can tell some people aren't gonna be happy with me for this so just know I love max so much please, but) she up until season 4 was a bit of a weird character. She is a confusing character. Especially in season 2, she has a lot of character inconsistencies. This video explains all of what I am talking about in this section this really well. but she isn't really a main character until season 4. She plays more of a supporting role. Especially in season 3 where she is helping El find part of independence. And yes, we know Max has a hard home life and how Billy is an ass to her. We know this but we don't really understand it until season 4. She just feels like an inconsistent character up until this point. (you know who else is an inconsistent character-) Her getting Vecna'd shows us a direct shot into her head and we can start to piece together the truth of her character. We really get to understand why she is inconsistent. And how it isn't a flaw of the writing, it's Max being 13 and dealing with a terrible home life.

the best part about it is that there are clues all over that are screaming at us and I can tell you right now that there were probably so many children who saw themself in Max. And people who were screaming about how this is why! It's because of her home life! while the rest of us were just calling it inconsistent writing. And yes, I am gonna bring it up because this is exactly what we see with Mike Wheelers character. Because the truth is that we haven't seen the whole story, we have barely seen anything of Mike for the last two seasons. (mentally i know he is on screen I mean mentally) we just have a theory on what is going on in his head. and I think it would be a waste not to use Vecna to do the same thing they did for Max for Mike and this is ignoring all of the parallels the two characters have. this is just from a story point of view and omg can you tell how passionate I am about this??

Now do i think it is impossible for any of the other character to get Vecna'd? No? it would probably be more similar to how Nancy got Vecna'd. Mostly because if my other theory is correct (is this shameless self-promotion?) I don't think there is time for like all the character to get Vecna'd.

But yeah, lets talk about a few of the character and why I do or don't think they could get Vecna'd. I will try to make this quick.

Steve: Steve is very interesting and I kind of wanna make like a character analysis about him at some point (probably after I rewatch the show) but I think it could go either way. Steves whole arc for the whole show is to show us how someone can change. Steve started as an ass and has slowly been evolving to become a better person. And I think there is a place for Vecna to come into that but idk if he needs it. I think Steve's can jump over the last hoop by himself (unlike some people who haven't even started jumping... (Mike)) Overall I don't think it will tell us anything we don't already know about Steve, but I can see Vecna wanting to incapacity Steve because of his physical strength. Dustin: Again, I am not sure what more Dustin getting Vecna'd will tell us about Dustin. If anyone has any thoughts, please don't be scared to let me know. I can see Vecna also wanting to take out Dustin because of his smarts. So strategically I can see this being something Vecna would want to "Take out" (but i am not sure how strategic Vecna is? I certainly don't think it would be the main reason that he targets someone.) Lucas: Idk, I think it would be great to have Lucus be more import to the plot but if he is gonna get Vecna'd it's gonna be about Max and him "teaming" up with the Basketball? guys. (I say hesitantly because I don't remember what sport it was...) Which we don't need to be told he feels bad about because he told us. So, idk. I guess we can talk about Will as well: but it's really all the same thing, I don't know what new information we can learn if we see him getting Vecna'd. Sure, its angsty and that might be reason enough for some people, but I know if I was writing Season 5, I wouldn't even consider it. We know almost everything that is plaguing Will. We see almost everything first hand. And sure, we knew about Billy for Max but like I said it was more than just "she watched Billy die" and sure maybe there is something I just don't see or don't know. I just don't see reason for this poor boy to go through more. The other thing is I don't see why Vecna would want to not just kill but make Will suffer. Make him have a pain full death? If Vecna wanted Will dead, Will would be dead. its plain and simple. the amount of times Vecna had Will in his grasps? I don't believe it was just luck. I would actually love to see if there aren't times where Will could be in danger, or it would make more sense for the danger to target will but for some reason it didn't, and he came out unscathed? (if I notice anything in my rewatch I will add it here) but yeah. also, there is all the parallels between Will and Vecna, so I think Vecna sees himself in will, maybe like how he saw himself in El and maybe will try and recite him. Idk but it seems (to me at least) that Vecna has more planed than, make him suffer and then die, in store for will. This is a really good analysis and this I agreed with on why Will was probably not gonna get Vecna'd. But it is a really good (and funny) video so go check it out if you haven't.

all of this is making me want to do an analysis on Vecna/henry. I don't think he is a partially new kind of villain, but I think it would be fun to try and dive into his head.

Hopeful this is my last point where I finally get to talk about my boy Mike wheeler. This is a Mike wheeler safe place. (I say as I am about to make my point on why he should go through pain and torture next season.)

I kind of have talked about some of this but let's dive into more detail (like we did with Max) and talk about my three main points

What it brings to the story

What advantage would it give Vecna (aka why would he want to Vecna them)

And how does it help the character

I feel like the story has been building up to this for a long time actually. Not only with the stalker shots that Mike is shot in but everything we see about his character. From how much we have seen his character change between season 2 and 3, to how little we actually know about Mikes inner workings. Mike is a puzzle right now. He is surrounded by character who are at least decently written and at most complex and compelling. And he is a main character? Like if Mike was a Minor or supporting character (like Erica and arguably robin) it would be weird sure but at least expectable. But Mike was THE main character in the opening season. We learn the most about him. And we see a lot of the story threw his eyes. And what? Were just going to throw all of that away? Like it was nothing?

But! I bring up the point I made about Max again. About what she was like in season two, what our impression of Max as a character and how that changed in season 4. The reason her character acted like that was because of things we didn't have connections for until season 4. All the parts were laid out in front of us they just needed to be connected. Mike getting Vecna'd will literally connect the dots for us. it'll show us an obvious and clear answer for what is wrong with Mike. Because how, honestly, are they going to show us all of these complex things that has been haunting Mike without a Vecna vision? It's the last season. We do not have endless time to unpack everything that is happening inside his head. Especially if the season is going to be as busy as I expect. We have like 20 other character who needs screen time, and we are getting introduced to more characters? And we have to fight the big bad? and there is gonna be a time skip (I swear to whatever higher being there is if they try to pull a "all Mikes' problems got fixed over the time skip" bs I am gonna be on the news for homicide. no-one will ever hear the end of it, omg. i don't even care if Byler becomes cannon, there will be war.) point is this matter is delicate and Mike lips on the matter are sealed so tight. If he hasn't said a word about this in 3 years he isn't gonna talk about it now. He needs a push, and Vecna is going to push him down a flight of stairs.

I do feel like I am repeating myself but it's crazy how similar Mike and Max character are. Almost like they are shining bright neon lights saying like look at this! notice this! and I know I am not the only one to point this out. But like what was stated in this video, Mike is almost the perfect person to Vecna'd , he not only has a connection with both El and Will. He, as Will would put it, is "the heart" of the party. He is connected to all the other character in some way. And if taking Max out would of killed motivation/ made the party unstable imagine what killing Mike would do to them? Which is why I do believe in the Mike was the original four victim theory (I think I saw someone go into more detail, but I can't find it. If I do, I will update with both links)

Also, remember when I mentioned that both Mike and Max have meddled with Vecna's plot in season 3, I just think I should point out how in the gym scene where they trap Billy in the sauna it is Mike taunting Him. And in season 2 he was the one who figured out that Will was possessed. All I can think of for season 1 is that he took El in and formed a kindling with her, which isn't strong evidence but idk maybe Vecna gets jealous easily idk.

And I think to understand this last point I would recommend watching or reading threw the links I linked all the way at the top of this discussion. but I would urge you to watch this at the very least: This video

if you haven't caught on yet, I do believe the Vecna visions are going to reveal to the audience that Mike is gay and has been the whole time. aemiron-main has a very good theory on how I think this is gonna go, because that falls into the same thought bubble as Max's. Where I think the theme isn't just that he is dealing with internalised Homophobia but his guilt surrounding his queerness. which we can easily explore through a vision. and it explains why he has been acting this way, especially in season 3. Like, can you even think about what this poor kid is going though mentally because, your best friend, literally your person got possessed, you watched as they lead to your friends new dad's death? like you can do nothing? and you blame yourself because if you had stop being gay for two seconds just to notice that there is something off about him you could have saved everyone? YEah I would be an asshole as well. Honestly, I think all the clues are there we just Vecna to piece them together.

And even in the very unlikely situation where I and like every other Byler are wrong about Mike being gay. Mike getting Vecna'd can only mean positive things for his character.

I feel like I had another point to make but I genuinely can't remember what it was T_T so, if I remember I will update this. But that is my point. Mike wheeler is gay and will be tormented by demonic infused visions of him being gay in the next season. so, you know. like an average Tuesday for any queer.

[spinji]

Do you have any idea why Nana continued to dehumanize Shigaraki after learning that her murderer groomed him to be evil?

I think what a lot of people don't get with the whole "you might have to kill Shigaraki" thing is that Nana (and Torino by extension) aren't removing his autonomy when they say that.

At a certain point, it doesn't matter who's fault it is for turning someone into a villian. The entire purpose of Deku's rematch with Muscular is to make it clear that some people aren't going to stop destroying things and hurting people by talking about their abusive dad or their dead mom or whatever tragic circumstances led them here.

Tomura has also reached a similar point, refusing to compromise on his goal to destroy the causes of his suffering. That includes both All for One and the society that left him to rot. AFO meticulously planned a lot of Tenko’s misfortune but he didn't manipulate the strangers that passed him on the street. He didn't create that feeling of abandonment, only pointed it in the wrong direction. Tomura not making this choice for himself because he was groomed genuinely doesn't matter anymore because these are his choices now. He's shown multiple times to understand that AFO is using him against All Might and for his own ends, but he doesn't try to get away and turn to the heroes; he tries to get away so he can be a villian on his own terms.

It's easy to forget, since he's the protagonist, but Izuku's optimism about saving the crying boy at the core of who Tomura is, is a massive outlier and his leaps in logic aren't always solid. Nana is very callous when she talks about it, my personal guess is it's because she's still not fully willing to face her sense of guilt that her attempt to save her son from AFO led to the creation and abuse of Tomura. But she is still correct, regardless of what pain lingers inside Tomura, it is too late to help him.

Even when Izuku reaches his hand to Tenko when he is at his absolute most vulnerable, he maintains his loyalty to the league. He's been cast from society for so long that there's nothing that can convince him to stop. He would rather die destorying than live in a world he couldn't change.

In fact most of the major deaths in the league maintain this theme. Twice would rather die fighting than let his friends get screwed over by his own shortcomings again. Toga would rather die a free girl that lived as she pleased than fall in line with society. The heroes didn't choose to kill any of them from the outset, they could have gone quietly at any time to save their own skin, but their cause was more important.

This is what Nana means when she maintains that Shigaraki dying is a possiblity that needs to stay on the table, because he won't allow anything that isn't victory or death. It's tragic but I think it helps convey the message that the ending wants to, that change in how we treat the strange and disparaged doesn't just need to happen, but it needs to happen sooner. You can't just wait until a villian tries to blow up the country to try and help them, you need to give that kindness to everyone before those villians can even exist.

Sorry this got off topic because I really hate how people simplify the ending as bad writing when to me it seems really obvious that Horikoshi was going for a bittersweet ending with the league. They did destroy society but didn't live long enough to see what it rebuit into because even trust in one person trying to save them isn't enough when you're this far gone.

Either way, Horikoshi's writing style leads to a lot of necessary intuiting about the characters to actually understand the motivations for how they act. I think Nana ends up being a particularly rough victim of this because her stoicism and blunt attitude is very obviously supposed to be a front.

She opened herself up to others and All for One killed her loved ones, so she guards her heart the best she can to avoid showing more weaknesses. She does feel like a failure to her legacy; she never fully believes she made the right choices regarding Kotaro or Tomura. But if she cracks then not only is she done but AFO will make it his duty to twist the knife and hurt the people she cried for too.

She's a contrast to Izuku serving as a cautionary what-if scenario if Izuku's big open heart just makes more people targets by association (which it does!). She's not entirely right when she calls Tomura a monster but she isn't being entirely honest with herself either.

[aingeal98]

Hi, so I was reading some of your Stephanie Brown meta & kudos, serious props yours is excellent. I also noticed you seem to be among those who picked up on the worrying undercurrent of Stephanie's relationships with older men. So double kudos for that.

Especially as its one of those things that tends to get glossed over in fandom & I am unsure at times if some writers even grasped what they were doing. Though that may say more about how girls tend to be treated/viewed as adults rather than children, teenagers or victims, save when its convenient to judge them as such.

Sorry not sure where I am going with this, but I think your stance it from that "Five ships that won't happen" section of the Steph ask as well thought out and covered a lot, so third kudos just for tackling that heavy topic so deftly and efficiently.

Ah thank you! Stephanie's relationship with men is so fascinating to me because she's been hurt so many times and the dissonance between her canon and fanon versions are pretty grim yet interesting. Like in early canon she was the Faith to Ariana's Buffy, the Veronica to the Bettys that were Tim's other love interests at the time. And various writers had various ideas about why she was the way she was, a common theme being that she had difficult relationships with the men in her life and had been hurt in the past. Be it a villain, a friend of her fathers, Cluemaster himself, or a shitty clearly too old guy named Dean. I don't think it was meant to be a pattern, more likely just individual ideas about trauma Steph suffered in her past that ended up turning into a consistent trait.

So you've got an abusive father, at least two cases of SA that I can remember (her babysitter and Black Mask), a pregnancy with clear subtext that the father was older than her, and the general way Batman treats her.

Not to mention she was a minor when all this happened. Like Steph has so many issues that she deserves the chance to unpack but instead they've just kind of... softened her down. Like her Batgirl run was the first chance she'd gotten to be the actual hero instead of The Girl in a story written by sexists, and she deserved every second of that. There had been too much injustice done to her character and her Batgirl run did a good job at setting the baseline for giving her a decent narrative. But afterwards, the New 52 could have delved more into her psyche instead of leaning into her waffles and sparkles fanon characterization. But because the New 52 is the worst, it didn't. And now here we are.

It's one of the reasons I'd really love to write a story about Steph realising she's bisexual, because I think in some ways her view of men are due to feeling trapped by heterosexuality and the patriarchal society. It's hard to explain fully without going into a whole other meta but the way she reacts to Tim showing her bare minimum decency is heartbreaking. Like yes men are awful and have been awful to her but she still likes them, she's going to settle down and marry one eventually right? She just has to find the right one, and Tim didn't treat her like complete garbage so he might be it for her!

And then for her to realise that no, she doesn't. She can marry a man if she wants to but if she wants romance there's also women... I really think bi Steph could be so much more than a simple "Oh hey I like girls now cool lol." Like it would shake a significant amount of the misogyny she's internalised and directed towards herself, it could alter the view she's taken of the world, and it would allow her to see her past trauma through a different lens, maybe with less subconscious self hatred.

Sorry this turned into a giant ramble haha, but thank you for the ask!

[a-confused-spoon]

TDP s6: Soren, Viren and missing the point (1/2)

I’ve seen some discussion surrounding the topic of whether or not book 6 of The Dragon Prince did justice to the complicated relationship between the male components of the mage fam, and as someone who fell in love with the writing of the show (in the first three seasons), as well as someone who relates to Soren’s struggle with Viren, I wanted to share my two cents. Of course, those are filtered through my very own lens, so none of what I’m going to say is ill intended or means to be disrespectful to the writers, cast, crew or fans that enjoyed what we got in book 6. I just really want to share my own thoughts because the direction this show has been taking these past few years is eating me up alive😊

*clears throat*

SPOILERS FOR THE DRAGON PRINCE SEASON 6!

What I find really frustrating and unsatisfying is that the scenes of confrontation between father and son that we got in s6 are done in a way that seemingly wants to punish Viren more than it wants to empower Soren- even though the scenes taken singularly are extremely well done, from the voice acting to the animation to the mood of it all... the problem arises only when looking at things according to the very principles the series tries to convey.

Just so that we’re all on the same boat here: the core theme of the series is the difference between power and true strength, and more specifically how the latter comes in the shape of only apparent weaknesses, such as love, vulnerability and forgiveness- all things that ultimately aim at connection.

Here’s the thing:

While yes, acting or not acting this way is a personal choice, Soren doesn’t really seem to choose to not to forgive Viren; rather he’s portrayed as uncapable of doing the opposite, meaning that he isn't really given the chance to be ‘strong’ according to the series’ values. It's one thing to say that Soren doesn't forgive his dad despite the change Viren went through because Soren doesn't owe him that, but it's a whole other thing to say that Soren doesn't forgive his dad because he refuses to believe said change happened in the first place (which by the time they meet again in s6 it’s just plainly untrue, but I’ll talk about Viren in part 2).

Now, since Soren is pretty much fine whenever Viren isn’t around, and since forgiveness is a part of the core theme of the series, what one could assume that Soren already forgave him and went on with his life for 2 years with no problem because he was at peace with what happened (which is the point of the act of forgiving, not only here but in real life too). Then Viren shows up again, and there’s a state of shock…the first time. Soren meets Viren in the Drakewood and we got no interaction between them, and whatever, that’s fine. Maybe he was processing it all.

The scenario in which they meet here however it’s very different: Soren is told ahead of time and he willingly goes to see his father despite no one forcing him to, as if he couldn't help it (at least up to a certain point).

This, unlike the state of shock that may or may have not been the reason they didn’t face one another sooner, isn’t a situation that should take away Soren’s capacity to stand up to his abuser with pride that he displayed all the way back in s3: does anybody remember that? How in the finale Soren was super ready for a confrontation right then and there, not as a hurt kid but as a confident and secure young man?

Yet this time, Soren isn’t depicted as capable of proudly facing the source of his pain to begin with, for whatever reason. Here he’s either numb, mad or sad, framed as a broken boy who can only live happily if he full on ignores what hurt him, which is far from the idea of moving on. Even in the optic where this is a form of stepping up for himself, considering that (as I mentioned) he was already capable of it and we already know how deeply hurt he was by Viren, the interactions we get in s6 give us nothing that we didn’t already know.

Since this is (probably) the last chance the two will have at conversation, there should've been more to it this time around. Some kind of proper conclusion before parting ways: that would be closure.

If Soren couldn’t forgive Viren when the latter was believed dead and didn’t have to face him at all once, it was probably due to the lack of closure (or by principle, I’ll get to that in a second), which could be the reason why he kept going back to the dungeon, though unaware of it; at this point it’s easy to see that, in order for the relationship to center the point the overall story is trying to make (or to barely allow a character that has suffered as much as Soren to finally heal), having closure here was a must, especially if they intended for him to go through the same thing twice.

As someone who has lived a similar situation as Soren has with Viren I say this with all the bitterness possible: for better or worse, forgiveness it’s something you do for your own sake of moving forward. I think that a lot of people, in general, mistake forgiveness for reconciliation.

The issue isn't that these two characters don’t reconcile, if anything, that's something that I liked and actually hoped for; the issue is that if closure and forgiveness are about inner peace (and they are), and not about reconciliation (and they're not), both things being denied now is unfair at best, and cruel at worst.

For anyone who claims that the entire thing was "realistic", please keep in mind that this is a fictional story where the characters are either rewarded or punished at the mercy of the writers, not to mention that said fictional story also wants to deliver a very clear moral message, meaning that most of the big character moments should bare minimum lean towards said message.

Even assuming this wasn’t the case, that forgiveness not being granted here is for the best and it doesn’t ruin the overall message of the story, Soren still deserved closure; he could have then decided to not forgive his father.

But okay- let's say that all of what I’ve been typing so far here isn't true and that Soren not believing his father was perfect: it could have, admittedly, somewhat worked if they had Soren, an emotionally smart and open-minded guy, actually hear his father out before… I don’t know, calling him out on his hypocrisy perhaps, for apologizing for mistreatment when there’s so much more he did, or for claiming to be a changed man when he puts the responsibility of fixing what he caused onto others by asking to serve someone else and that’s because he doesn't know how to be good man on his own, or how he chose to not pick up the pieces of what he left behind and brings up Viren's decision to leave behind his sister, who will likely fall into Aaravos's arms out of desperation… something.

What I'm getting at is that anything would have been satisfying if at least they allowed the characters to truly communicate with one another, regardless of the outcome, instead the possibility of real confrontation being denied to them so a spectacle can be made of Viren's guilt and unaccepted apologies.

‘Cause no, if one of the characters actively chooses not to listen to what the other one is saying, it’s not an actual confrontation, it’s barely a conversation. It’s just dialogue.

Aside from the logistics of it all, I've rewatched book 1, 2 and 3 about a hundred times during the hiatus, and I confidently believe (though this is 100% my own reading of the character) that among other things, everything that happens between Soren and Viren here fails to consider the kind of person Soren is at heart: he would never say something like "I want to see you suffer"; he would never angrily punch a wall (or, in this case, the dungeon’s bars). Those obviously aren’t unreasonable reactions, they are just out of character. To make a real-life example, if you were to go outside and a random man started screaming at you, it’d be understandable for you to scream back, just like it would be for you to freeze or run away; it all depends on who you are as a person.

Soren isn’t the type who’d get physically violent as a result of emotional outbursts* against a person he loves (if he isn't completely apathetic it's because he still cares, despite everything), nor the one who’d deliberately be mean to said someone, even when hurt, angry and would have all the right to be mean. What the hell happened to “he's cruel, but you don’t have to be” or whatever he said in s5?

He just isn’t that kind of person at all. If anything, Soren would very likely find it in him to be happy for his father while still not wanting him in his life anymore.

[*edit: this one specifically isn't just a matter of character, but also a matter of discipline: Soren is literally a trained soldier. I get why Callum would punch someone in the face during an adrenaline rush due to feeling intense anger and stress, but Soren was able to keep his cool not only when the pain of seeing Viren's "true colors" was fresh, but when at the very same time the man was being a threat to Ezran's life (so even according to Crownguard code he would have had a pass to immediately react)... maybe that's why it strikes me as odd]

Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed this season far more than what it might seem, but since Soren is the only reason I stuck around after the massive disappointment that was s4, I really really wanted this moment to be the absolute best, and at least personally I feel like this was just not it… but I’m crossing my fingers, hoping that maybe, in one way or another, they will give Soren his moment of acceptance and allow him to truly move on.

Something that I can’t hope anymore for Viren…

[ca-suffit]

This is probably not the place for this but I'm so sad Claudia died and we didn't get to see more of her relationship with Madeleine.. :(</3 I know she had to die but I was so attached to Claudia and their future. Wish the show had given them a bit more time.. I hope Delainey comes back andCLAUDIA HAUNTS LESTAT'S EVERY WAKING MOMENT to be on topic I don't know how you manage this blog ca I'd be having anxiety every day unable to sleep and throwing fits all over the place damn!!! You handle the complex issues of racism admirably and I'm here for it but I'm glad it ain't me!!

We can talk about it! There's a lot I was thinking of about Claudia and Madeleine anyway.

I mean....obviously the tragedy exists bcuz this happened, especially bcuz it did not *need* to happen. It also shows two women struck down bcuz they were more capable of handling vampirism than the men around them were, even Claudia with all of her immense disadvantages at never (physically) being an adult. She took down Lestat p much on her own *and* was building a happier life after struggling through so much and.....then all this.

I also think something the fandom overlooks is how much agency this relationship gave Claudia. I'm not asking anyone to engage with the age gap stuff if that's a personal issue, but I've found it interesting to compare how this relationship has been treated alongside book relationships with similar issues (which are outright abusive as well).

Fandoms don't tend to care about women anyway, let alone black women, so there's already that. But then there's the issue of the age gap itself. It's hard to tell what could be racially motivated or not since this is a show only relationship and show only fans might not come from the books and have knowledge of how prevalent this theme is in them. It still feels like this is the main relationship in this fandom as a whole tho where age tends to get brought up more (which is "funny" to parallel how much ppl initially complained that Claudia "looked too old" to be a teenager once she was first cast, then again when a darker actress took over the role), or ppl look to blame Claudia for her taste in partners bcuz of Madeleine's past. All the characters, especially white ones, have p fucked up shit going on. Just bcuz ppl want to pretend everything about Lestat is a lie doesn't mean it is, Santiago is also a shithead, it goes on. As I've said in other asks, white women tend to make up fandom, so fandom gets upset when white women are shown as less than perfect somehow too. All of it doesn't surprise me. It's just stuff to observe and take notes on. I feel like ppl dismiss examining Claudia or Madeleine more for several reasons, whereas if they were men, especially white men, they'd be a main feature. Hell, Nicki has gotten more analysis for 2 mins on screen so far than most ppl give to any of this.

Anyway, I'm also looking forward to her coming back to haunt everyone's ass :)

Also thank u for the nice comments<3

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

welcome to night vale kind of sucks

I can't believe I'm doing this again but here goes: I'm writing a call out post for the behaviors made by my favorite podcasters. I love Night Vale. Let me make that clear. My whole blog is Night Vale. I've cosplayed Night Vale. I've been in this fandom for eight years, and I've been holding out hope that the show will become "good" again for a long time. I've been a fan while simultaneously acknowledging some of their very harmful behavior. But this last episode just really cemented for me how the issues with their writing are not just failures of plot and theme, they are actively harming the communities that support them. Night Vale has turned from the show that canonized a queer relationship in 2013 and celebrated its thousands of fans, to something devoid of passion and almost unrecognizable in its messaging. These issues have been present for a while, but now they are everywhere in the show. They're completely overwhelming.

Why did an abused person not only forgive their abuser and say that he was "doing the best he could"? No, really - we had an entire season about generational trauma, a deeply personal topic for many people, and then you paint an abusive father as "misguided"? It's a slap in the face. Why do prominent female characters, particularly antagonists, always get either killed off or written out of the story by... ascending into the stars I guess? (So Lauren's the most powerful foe ever but then she's defeated by six people telling her they don't like her. Cool cool.) Why did the writers deradicalize a Black woman whose original story was about her courage and opposition to authority? Why was Tamika's role this season to be a caretaker for The Boy instead of her position in local government? Why is there only one recurring trans character in the show?

The worst thing of all for me though is the partnership with Betterhelp. Betterhelp, which sells people's data and has been called out for it time and time again. There was no excuse for them to take this sponsorship, especially when, oh yeah people were calling it out for endorsing conversion therapy. There are doctors on Betterhelp who have OFFERED CONVERSION THERAPY, and that's who they're promoting to their majority queer audience. But there's especially no excuse for this sponsorship when BetterHelp is collaborating with the Israeli Occupation Force. When Betterhelp is publicly associating itself with the army that burns people alive, that bombs hospitals, and is actively colonizing Palestine.

And before anyone says, "Mercury, why are you only writing a call out for the Betterhelp thing now after you didn't like this episode?" Well, I've been publicly calling them out for MONTHS over this. I've replied to almost every episode's Q&A to tell them they need to stop this partnership as well as replying to them on their socials asking why they're still working with this company.

Plus, this isn't just me disliking this episode - I'm seeing posts on the wtnv tag from abuse survivors who got extremely triggered by this and it just breaks my heart. Genuinely, why did they do that? This arc had such beautiful and introspective writing about parenting and it feels like they just threw it all away.

I don't know what note to end this on. I really hope they take their hiatus to reassess some business practices and write a better season. And mostly that they stop partnering with Betterhelp.

@nightvaleofficial

[bleue-flora]

a things i really like from cdream's tory it's how one of the messages it send it's that, not matter how Bad a person might be they would never deserve abuse. Like cdream is a Bad person yeah but the abuse he suffered wasn't okay and he shouldn't have gone throught that. That his ending is seeing him a person it's really good bc the mentality of "Bad people are monsters who aren't human" it's dangerous and i like how the dsmp touched this topic, idk if it was the intention from the beggining but the fact this ended up being one of the themes it's so good

I mean I think it goes far further than that. I see it more so as highlighting that we are all just people. People who live in our one little world without thinking about what it’s like to be another person. That we all have our pov but that doesn’t make it the only pov or the “good” or “right” pov by default. That people are complicated and even the sociopaths, narcissists and sadists of the story are complex. They are still people, who have reasons and can be hurt and feel pain. The story isn’t about abuse, despite a lot of people taking that as a major thing, and it isn’t about deserve. I think it goes much deeper than that and is instead about highlighting that other people experience the same pain as you. That other people have thoughts, and opinions and motivations and reasons for why they do things and just because we don’t understand it, just because we can’t see it, just because we can’t see in their head, doesn’t mean it’s not there or that their intentions are always malicious. That just because other people hurt us doesn’t mean they were out to get us. That at the end of the day, we as individuals are not the center of the universe. That there are other people around us, who are just as human. And if we could just realize that and make efforts to understand them, hear them, see them then we could overcome so much conflict and suffering.

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” - Atticus Finch from Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird

That is more so the message for the story, where we attend their streams as if viewing from within their body, within their head. Because this story is about showing us that we all are right from our point of views, but we should strive to take the time to consider what it’s like in someone else’s shoes. To see people as people, humans as fellow vulnerable, broken, and imperfect humans. It’s not about “Good people” and “Bad people,” it’s about highlighting that we are all just people, who deserve the same basic rights and respect. And that goes beyond the fact that no one deserves the abuse and cruelty they experienced, because it’s far more complex than just good and bad. It’s not just about Dream not deserving prison, it’s about realizing that Dream was multi dimensional this whole time.

[clip] Tommy: “That’s why you’re doing this, isn’t it?… You just want it to be simple.” *huffs* “Dream, I thought you were complicated. I thought—god I thought you were the villain, Dream. […] I thought, this whole time, you—you were the villain…”

It’s about realizing that Dream wasn’t the “villain,” “a monster,” “a Bad person,” like Tommy thought. No, he was just a deeply flawed person like the rest. A person with the same basic, simple human desires that everyone else has.

[clip] Tommy: “You just want it to be simple. You just want to be back with your friends. And that makes sense.”

He just didn’t want to be alone - he just wanted to be loved, just like Tommy did, just like we all do.

[clip] Tommy: “You just want friends. Well me too, man. I get that. I get that.”

[parentsday]

I once saw someone say that after Parents Day (the episode, not you), they never really touched on Max’s familial situation again. And while I agree that episodes like With Friends Like These could have paid a little lip service to it (why David just sent Max back home to what he knew were neglectful parents is beyond me, maybe he didn’t think there was anything he could do about it?), it feels to me like one of those things where once you know about it, you start seeing the character in a whole new light. Like you see what Max does in older and newer episodes and you rationalize it as “Oh, I see, he acts that way because his parents neglect him. Stuff like him not knowing how to swim or having a teddy bear when he’s theoretically too old for one.

i agree with you on many of your points and disagree heavily on the use of them you make later on. to start off max is an incredibly dear character to me, like painfully so. if i had the chance to i would love to dissect his head like one of a frog in a lab and see what makes his brain tick in ways it does, and of course one of the reasons is the abstract emotional state of mind any victim like him would have. one that sometimes gets more kafkaesque the longer i stare at him. so please bear in mind that i love the subtext his character possesses, i just can’t always rely on it to explain anything.

if you know me you know i like to complain about this shows writing, not out of hate for it but rather out of love for the material and what it started off as and has ability to be still (stuff like heavier writing that holds narrative weight, david being an asshole, the whole harrison thing that is lost to time now etc etc). whenever i watch this show with someone i usually opt to rewatch several earlier episodes after we finish parents day. it gets praised a lot but i don’t often see people mention how well it recontextualizes a lot of stuff previously shown to us, not only for max but other cast members too. a lot of the problems that stem from this is the fact that most other characters whose issues were presented to us in this episode are strawman connected to their family by the writers in a way that laters on allows for progress without relying on mention or presence of their parental figures (proper examples of this are preston, ered, nerris, somewhat harrison). max doesn’t get that simply by the virtue of the fact that his issues cannot exist in a vacuum and are inherently connected to his family. max’s parents haunting all of the narrative surrounding him has enough psychoanalytical subtext for it to traumatize several men and leave freud rolling in his grave, so i believe that you cannot in good faith progress his character without mentioning them or their actions or lack thereof towards him once or twice. that’s pretty much why i think that the topic of his abuse has not been brought up in a meaningful way since parents day. from where i stand i view abuse as one of the focus themes in this show, so poor treatment of it is very obvious to pin point to me as it usually drags most characters down with it the less it is respected in a way it should be.

like i said, the way the show recontextualizes max’s behavior leaves way for interpretation of the viewer on the way why he is the way he is, it’s easy for us to understand why he can’t swim or why he can’t fathom the idea of moving on and letting go on several occasions. the thing is in a perfect world we don’t have to do all of this. it can be attributed to good writing for making the audience be able to perceive any part of the characters psyche without the authors help, but in reality it’s lazy to expect everyone to treat the characters from a watsonian perspective and view their every move as a meta reference towards their trauma when not everyone cares enough to do so. the writer referencing child abuse and not adding onto it aside from the mention of its existence is exploitative of the viewers personal care for the character, it’s bad writing. you obviously can interpret what max does as a result of neglect (and you should!) with the power of subtext, implications and critical thinking, but what you also should think about is what does it tell you about his character aside from the fact that he is neglected. do we ever find out something new about his home situation or do scenes like these give us any discussion inside the show about the fact that he is still actively a victim of neglect? (the answer is most always gonna be no, maybe just always)

tldr; stuff like child abuse is heavy, writing it is hard and treating it the way rooster teeth does is not only poor writing but also disrespectful to the very real human trauma they are inserting into their show on more than one occasion

i would also love to discuss the david stuff you brought up and why him acting towards max and others in a way that he does in recent seasons is a long standing issue rather than a new problem but thats genuinely a conversation for another day as this post is already long enough as it is. thank you for the ask :3c

[meimi-haneoka]

Clear Card Trivia 1 ~ Literary and musical references/mentions in Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card

Hello everyone! The end of the Clear Card manga is very near, so I thought it was about time to start writing the long list of posts I'm going to release in the upcoming months, since it's almost time to wrap everything up and it would be nice to look back and not only analyze the plot but also trivia and themes/topics discussed (openly or not) in these almost 7 years of serialization of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Arc.

Today we talk about the several literary and musical references spread across the different CCS Clear Card media. The references are quite a lot and I find it so very fitting for a story that features books so much, both under a positive and negative light. Books have a life-saving role, being the only thing young Akiho could cling to, to survive mentally till the arrival of Kaito in her life and the subsequent removal from her abusive family, but for a twist of fate, a spell under the guise of a book is also what was about to destroy her soul forever when said book got filled up with magic. The very first time Akiho's inner book gets set off is precisely in Fujitaka's library. Moreover, a fictional world existing into a forbidden book called Alice in Clockland is also where Kaito sends everyone in the climax of the story. In that fictional world, it is said that books record the memories and feelings of people. And after recording them, that same book can rewrite them. Books are literally an essential element of the plot of Clear Card Arc.

In my list I will take in consideration both the anime and the manga, with a special section for the now-defunct Happiness Memories mobile game! The references are ordered basing on their impact or importance within the plot, and include all the info we have till chapter 72. I might update this post if we get more literary references in the very last chapters of the arc. I will probably not be able to talk in depth about all the possible double meanings and connections of these stories to the real Clear Card plot, as I haven't read most of these books or I'm still in the process of reading them, but I have looked at summaries on Wikipedia, so hopefully I'll be able to feature at least a part of the interesting connections. Anyone who knows these stories or songs in depth is welcome to give more insight!

Soooo, ready to dive in?

1) Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There / Lewis Carrol

Of course the first reference featured in this list couldn't be other than this one! The whole Clear Card arc is heavily based on the Alice In Wonderland narrative, but particularly in the sequel "Through the Looking-Glass". The very first mentions of "Alice-related" stuff is as early as chapter 12, when Sakura and Tomoyo visit Akiho's home and they check out her huge library: here Akiho shows them her book "Alice in Clockland" for the first time. Tomoyo spots the resemblance with the title of the best-known novel, but Akiho says that the book she's holding wasn't written by the author of Alice in Wonderland, and although the language it's written in is composed by runes, she was taught how to read it. Later on we discover that the more she progresses reading this book, the more it gets connected to recurring dreams she's having, with an "Alice" as the main character who experiences all sorts of adventures (unbeknownst to her, she's dreaming about Sakura's adventures with the Clear Cards). Akiho sometimes shares these dreams with Kaito and he always listens attentively, commenting that it'd be good if Alice acquired "more and more skills". We also see Rika (through Sakura) giving away to Akiho one of her Alice picture books, and the girl is definitely thrilled and moved by the kind gesture of who is basically a stranger to her.

Moreover, in chapter 38 & 39, Kaito shrinks Sakura in order to prompt her to create a Card, and sends her down a hole carved in a tree, calling her "Alice". Sakura also created the Shade card supposedly basing it on the Jabberwock featured in Through The Looking Glass. The whole situation prompts Kaito to remember about his first face-to-face meeting with Akiho, which he says happened in a garden fit for Alice in Wonderland. The whole scenery Sakura witnesses in the strange world she's sent to is very reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland/Through the looking Glass, with her being so little and the talking flowers. Of course, the biggest reference to Through the Looking Glass is the whole Alice in Clockland play, in its first version based on Akiho's beloved book with the same title (Naoko initially called the play "The Two Alice", but then decided to change it at last minute, in a twist of fate). Both "before" and "after" the rewriting of memories operated by Momo's book, we not only have an Alice in this story, but also a Cat (which will have a key role) and a Red Queen. Another notable similarity is how Alice, in Through the Looking Glass, crosses "the wood where things have no names", forgetting her own name for a short time while crossing that forest in the company of a fawn. In Alice in Clockland, the Red Queen completely forgot her name once she entered Clockland, in both versions of the play, before and after the rewriting. Akiho/Red Queen regains her memories by lifting the dark veil covering her face, while Sakura/Red Queen regains her memories thanks to Alice telling her the truth about what happened.

Furthermore, the fact that later in the climax Sakura and Akiho are turned into twins by the forbidden magic activated by Kaito might be considered a reference to the famous twins Tweedledum and Tweedledee (although, that's also commonly known as one of CLAMP's obsessions 😂). One more reference is represented by the White Queen in Through the Looking Glass, who can remember events that will happen in the future, and while Sakura can do that herself to a certain degree, certainly this character is better represented by Lilie, Akiho's mother, who could see so much of the future ahead and tried to reach Sakura in her dreams to inform her of an important truth. It is also to be noted that the White Queen's daughter in Through the Looking Glass is named.....Lily.

2) Ten Nights of Dreams (夢十夜) / Natsume Sōseki

"Ten Nights of Dreams" is a collection of short pieces by Japanese novelist Natsume Soseki, where he narrates 10 mysterious dreams set in various time periods, including his own. The book gets featured for the first time in chapter 10 / volume 3 of the manga, and episode n. 6 of the anime. In this scene, Sakura and Akiho are each reading a portion from the 7th dream, the one where the dreamer finds himself on a ship, among strangers, not knowing where the ship is headed to or when he'll see land again. The tone of this dream, like the rest of them, is pretty dark, as the dreamer is extremely discouraged and decides to throw himself into the sea, regretting it when it's already too late. This book gets directly mentioned again in chapter 58 of the manga, when Naoko reflects on the fact that even the tenth night told in the collection is a dream, because there's no point where the storyteller wakes up. This leads her to think how scary it would be to have a dream you can't wake up from, and this will become for her one of the sources of inspiration for the scenario of the school play. When the teacher talked about this book to her students back in chapter 10, she stated "this collection features plenty of mysterious stories, but depending on the person, they could also be considered 'scary' ". I feel like this is exactly how Clear Card Arc could be described too, especially from the POV of the Japanese readers, that I've witnessed these past couple of years on social media. I wonder if this wasn't a way for CLAMP to tip the readers off regarding the thematics and tone that Clear Card would take halfway through. Moreover, the teacher mentions "foretelling dreams" in relation to this book, and that prompts Sakura to consider if the dream she's constantly seeing with the Mysterious Cloaked Figure could be a foretelling dream too.

3) Momo / Michael Ende

"Momo" is a fantasy novel written by German writer Michael Ende (the same of The Neverending Story), and it gets featured in chapter 39 of Clear Card, while Kaito is having a flashback of his first face-to-face meeting with Akiho. At the moment of Kaito's arrival in the rose garden, Akiho was reading a book, and when she's asked about its content by Kaito himself, the girl tells him of a story that is unequivocally that of "Momo": a little girl battles some so-called "time thieves". Akiho seems to love that story, as she has read it many times.

Although it might seem just an easter egg at the level of the Cthulhu books that I will mention later, the presence of the "Momo" novel here is completely different and very significant to the main story of Clear Card. First of all, its complete German title translates in English to "Momo, or the strange story of the time-thieves and the child who brought the stolen time back to the people". As we all know, this sequel of the Cardcaptor Sakura series deals heavily with the theme of time, and Kaito is strictly related to that theme, as he's the major "player" of that element, using magic to stop it or especially to rewind it. In "Momo", the "time-thieves" (also called Men in Grey) are some kind of paranormal parasites with the goal of stealing the time of humans. They appear to people offering to save their time in some so-called "Timesaving Banks", urging them to spare time by dropping any activity that supposedly "wastes time" like relaxing, playing, enjoying things, with the goal of having that time returned back with interests later. But that time saved in the bank is actually stolen and consumed by the Men in Grey for their own survival. Human feelings such as love are a hindrance for them, and they avoid at all costs to form any bond with anyone. Momo is a mysterious little girl, beloved by everyone in her town as she seems to be able to solve anyone's problems or afflictions just by listening and talking to them. She will eventually take on the task of defeating the Men in Grey. Ende's novel is a critique to consumerism in the modern society and how hectic our lives have become, where time is everything and we often never use it for what really matters the most: making us happy. Momo was published in 1973 but its thematics are super relevant even today.

Aside from the easy connection of the topic of time to what Kaito does (although in a more benign way, in our case), "Momo" is also how Akiho chose to name her beloved bunny plushie, who, unbeknownst to her, is actually the magical Guardian of the Book of Time. We don't know when exactly that naming happened, as of chapter 72, but the fact that one of the most treasured and beloved existences in Akiho's life was named "Momo" - the same as the title of the book Akiho was reading when she met Kaito for the first time - suggests hitsuzen is strongly at work here. Akiho might have named Momo after she met Kaito, and to show how important that meeting was to her, she chose to name her after an element that was strictly connected to that meeting. And if she named her so before meeting Kaito, then it shows just how fateful their meeting was. She named one important existence after a beloved book, and precisely when she was reading that same book, she had her first meeting with another important person in her life. The one she will love the most.

It is also to be noted that in "Momo", the time is consumed by the Men in Grey in the form of smoking cigars made out of dried hour-lilies' petals, which are pink flowers representing time itself. Again, a feature of lily flowers, which connects us once more to Lilie.

Depending on how Clear Card will end, and whether Sakura will be able to regain all the memories and the time lost with them, beating the Forbidden Magic activated by Kaito, we might even draw another reference - how Ende's Momo is able to give the stolen time back to the people of her town.

4) "Tsuki ga kirei desu ne" (月が綺麗ですね) / Natsume Sōseki + "Kaze no nai yoru ga boku wo semetogameru" (風のない夜が僕を責めとがめる) / SPARKS GO GO

In chapter 48 of the manga, Akiho, unable to sleep after waking up from an unsettling dream, heads to the garden of her home in the middle of the night. And there surprisingly she finds Kaito, also awake and staring intently at the full moon. In a magical and emotional scene, illuminated by the full moon and prompted by feelings of worry for Kaito's pale complexion - too pale for his own good, Akiho tells him "Can we talk a little bit longer? Because...the moon is really beautiful".

At first, these can seem totally normal words of admiration for the full moon illuminating the two. But actually in this scene, Akiho has just covertly confessed to Kaito that she loves him. Many of you probably already know, but in Japan there's a little story that takes us back again to the famous novelist Natsume Soseki who seems to influence Clear Card so much (he'll get another mention later in this post). There's no actual written evidence of this, so Japanese people tend to consider this as some folklore tale, but when Soseki worked as an English teacher, he allegedly corrected one of his students who translated too literally the English phrase "I love you" in Japanese. He supposedly said "that's too direct, Japanese people don't express such phrase so directly. You should use 月が綺麗ですね (tsuki ga kirei desu ne, 'The moon is beautiful, right?') instead". And that's how the myth of expressing "I love you" in Japanese with "the moon is beautiful, right?" was born. It is very poetic, romantic and subtle so there's no doubt its popularity is really high and used in all kinds of media even today. And, I have to say, it fits romantic, shy and bookworm Akiho to a T. But how can we be sure that Akiho was really-really meaning that? It's because of the quotation marks on the original Japanese script. Akiho was deliberately quoting a source. And her face right afterwards, eyes cast down and red as a tomato, is the final proof of her intention. We still don't know, 24 chapters later, if Kaito's surprised face meant he understood what she was secretly meaning, or not.

However, I have a second source for this particular line from Akiho. One day I was searching on the internet, wanting to know more about this popular phrase, exactly as she worded it (it's slightly different from the classic one) and I stumbled upon the song "Kaze ga nai yoru ga boku wo seme togameru" (The windless night is reproving me) by Sparks Go Go. It's a love song from 1993, and the very first verse features the very same line Akiho said, worded exactly as she did. When I started to translate the lyrics, I was shocked. The lyrics actually fit perfectly the scene in the garden under the moonlight and what was going on between Kaito and Akiho in that moment, so much that it really makes me wonder if Ohkawa wasn't trying to make a double reference here:

Since the moon is beautiful I'll invite you for a stroll outside Tonight it's a bit chilly So wear one more layer of clothing I'm stammering And for some reason I suddenly realize All the feelings I've kept inside till now The windless night is reproving me Even though you're telling me A funny thing that happened to you today Tonight it's a bit different than usual My heart is twinkling Our footsteps echo softly As if I'm about to realize something All the feelings I've kept inside till now The windless night is reproving me The windless night is gently inviting me

As you can see, it's almost a precise description of that scene, with the mention of the stroll at night under the moonlight, the talk and the hidden feelings that are being conveyed in that moment.

I'll conclude this paragraph with something that I usually always mention when I tell people about the "moon is beautiful" 's hidden meaning in relation to Clear Card's storyline, because I think it's highly related. There are several ways to respond "I love you too" to a love confession made in that fashion. And one of the most popular ones that gets associated so much to this phrase (despite not coming from the same author but actually another one, Japanese novelist Shimei Futabatei who lived in the same period of Soseki) is 死んでもいいわ (shinde mo ii wa), which literally translates in English to "I can die happy" or "I can die for you" (you already know where I'm going with this one, right?). Apparently, Futabatei decided to translate in Japanese as shinde mo ii wa the Russian word Ваша present in a passage of the book "Asya" by Ivan S. Turgenev. The word Ваша actually literally translates in English as "yours", and the scene showed a woman deeply committing to her love, but since this is the same period as Soseki, the Japanese novelist used an indirect way to express it. I've read that the choice of shinde mo ii wa is tightly connected to the context of the original story, where a woman of low social status (an illegitimate daughter of a Russian landowner) and a man of higher class fell in love, but kept it hidden for most of the story. Back in those times, such relationship was frowned upon by society and so, indulging in that love could also be seen as the death of someone's life in society. In that sense, that "I would die for you" expresses the spirit of abnegation and complete dedication that such profound love inspires. Now, back to Clear Card, consider who's literally sacrificing himself for Akiho, and draw your conclusions.......

5) Liber Ivonis, Celaeno Fragments / H. P. Lovecraft & August Derleth

When Akiho visits Sakura's home in ch. 26 in order to learn how to cook from her, Sakura also brings her to visit her father's small library. In a very excited way, Akiho recognizes some books of her interest and she asks Sakura if she can take them. Those books are, in order of appearance, "Liber Ivonis" and "Celaeno Fragments" (there's a small typo on the book's title, due to the ambivalence of R/L in Japanese) which are two books featured in the Cthulhu Mythos created by US writer H. P. Lovecraft. Both books seems to be grimoires about occult topics and dark magic spells. It is very likely that the two books are merely easter eggs (they had no influence whatsoever on the plot) or a covertly way from CLAMP to let us know that Akiho was acquainted with magical books.

6) Buying Mittens (手袋を買いに) / Nankichi Niimi

"Buying Mittens" from Japanese author Nankichi Niimi is the book Sakura and Akiho are asked to read to the children of the hospital in episode 19 of the Clear Card anime. The story features a baby fox going on a journey to a nearby village to buy mittens to warm its cold paws in the rigid snowy winter. The story revolves around the themes of trust in other human beings. Although the mother fox advised her little one to be careful of human beings, because if they found out it was a fox, something terrible would've happened, the little fox actually finds out humans are not all the same, and the human being selling the mittens wasn't actually harmful at all.

See, when this episode was released in May 2018, I remember it got a lot of criticism for being a "wasted episode" and not bringing the plot forward at all. But I had already understood back then that this was actually a very symbolic episode for one of the major thematics of Clear Card, which would've shown its full importance only later on the story: how much we can trust other people, especially when we don't know them and they are having seemingly hostile behaviors. I knew the anime staff chose to feature this book for a precise reason. With hindsight, from the manga storyline POV, this is absolutely connecting to how Sakura had her trust tested multiple times in the entire arc, not only towards Kaito who had the most ambiguous behaviors, but also her loved ones, starting from Syaoran himself - who stole her cards in the very beginning and even lied to her, hiding an important truth for her sake; but also Yukito, for a moment, when he activated the Moon barrier all of a sudden, scaring even Kero and Suppi; or how inevitably Sakura's trust in Akiho was also put under pressure once she found out that Kaito was a magician and so inevitably she had to question the reliability of a person very close to him. Trust, trust in your beloved people and even more deciding to trust someone you don't know well is of utmost importance in this arc. If Kaito the magician is, in Buying Mittens, the human known for hurting and hunting and killing foxes, Sakura is the little fox who has to make the important decision of whether she can trust him or not, especially when she's in a moment of vulnerability (in the story the little fox shows the fox paw instead of the human hand to the hatter, who recognizes it as a fox but actually doesn't hurt it at all).

When Sakura found out about Kaito being a magician, she made a careful and delicate decision: she decided to trust Akiho and indirectly to trust Kaito too, avoiding to jump to conclusions and to ruin Akiho and Kaito's relationship by questioning her friend about Kaito's nature. And despite acting in shady ways for the entire arc, and sometimes being just misunderstood - leading everyone to believe he intended to hurt Sakura, in the end we found out that none of that has ever been Kaito's intention from the very beginning.

As repeatedly told by Nanase Ohkawa of CLAMP in Twitter Spaces, Sakura trusts her loved ones, and that actually represents her strength to believe that she will always be ok and everything will eventually be alright.

At the end of the Buying Mittens story, on its way back to his mother, the little fox hears a human mother singing a lullaby to her baby, and the fox draws a parallel to its own mother. Thanks to that, while being cuddled by the mother fox later, the baby fox says "maybe humans are good, after all". Motherhood and mother's love is definitely another thematic common to Clear Card and Buying Mittens, but also finding something that wholesome in common between the two species (humans and foxes) is the key to trust that there can be something good to be found even in "the other" that seems so scary and oppositive in the beginning. I'm certain that will also be a huge theme that will lead Sakura to help Akiho and Kaito in the very end of this climax.

7) Night on The Galactic Railroad / Kenji Miyazawa

"Night on The Galactic Railroad" is the title of the book Yukito is reading to the children of the hospital in episode 19 of the Clear Card anime.

8) "Oborozukiyo" (朧月夜)

"Oborozukiyo" is a Japanese folk song that gets featured in chapter 9 of the manga and episode 6 of the anime. Tomoyo and Akiho sing together this song in 2 different occasions between manga and anime: in the manga they sing it at the hanami in front of group of school friends, while in the anime it is a song that Tomoyo suggests to Akiho to sing together, and at the end of the performance she offers Akiho to join the choir later. The song is also featured in the Clear Card soundtrack album.

9) Special references appearing in the mobile game Happiness Memories:

Botchan / Natsume Sōseki

Natsume Soseki gets mentioned again in the Happiness Memories game when Akiho, in one of the photostories (the one focused on the study of English, with Syaoran reiterating his love to Sakura in English without her knowing what he meant ❤️) tells Sakura she's looking for the English version of some books, namely Night On The Galactic Railroad by Kenji Miyazawa (already mentioned above) and Botchan by Natsume Soseki. Apparently, Kaito suggested her to find those books and read them in English, since she's still having some difficulties with Japanese language. Akiho doesn't initially remember the titles of those books, so Syaoran intervenes and tries to help.

The Wandering Lake / Sven Hedin

"The Wandering Lake" is a book written by swedish geographer Sven Hedin. This one gets seemingly mentioned during one of the photostories set during the old anime arcs, where Syaoran gets invited to the Kinomoto home and bakes a cake with Fujitaka and Sakura (I don't really know much of the details because I never got this card 💦) While they wait for it to bake, Fujitaka and Syaoran talk about their favorite subject, archeology! And Fujitaka apparently makes references to this book (he supposedly mentions the lake name, Lop Nur) while explaining his love for archeology.

And I believe that's all for this first installment of "Clear Card Trivia"!! I hope you enjoyed it and maybe that it surprised you too, for some reference that you didn't catch before today! My love for this story is infinite, for all the reading "layers" it provides us with, and one of those is composed by all the literary references featured in it, since books are really so important in this arc. Knowing all these little quotes and references makes me appreciate CLAMP's efforts to build this arc as something deeper and more meaningful.

As I said in the beginning, I intend to update this post in case something else comes up in the handful of chapters that are left! See you next time, what will I feature? I have looooots I want to talk about!!

[mulletmitsuya]

I hated the tr ending so badly. Not because it was rushed or anything. Wakui could have fleshed out the last timeline so thoroughly and logically and I would still hate it because the ending itself goes against what I felt the story stood for in the first place. He replaced all the characters for fakes, none of the characters we were intoduced to had happy endings because they either are totally different people or re lived their life to avoid healing. The ending basically proved izanas last words right "there's no saving me" yeah I guess not if the only way to help everyone is to make sure their lives never happened the way it did. Horrible I hate it so much. Also one ship I hate is rinzu or ranzu because they don't even interact once and it's so popular for no fucking reason other than "its hot" and tbh they would prolly hate eachother like petty bitches, they would NOT get along at any point. Also Koko and amane ship because if people actually read the manga with their eyes open it would not make sense. Anyways thanks for letting me be a hater in ur askbox, I love your blog btw

This is long, also tw for typical tokrev themes and sa

I think you're the first person who has the same opinion as me lmao😭. I also didn't believe it should have had an ending like that at all because of the themes that had been set up during the entire story. I understand people's perspectives of "It's Wakui's manga and it's his ending he can do what he wants" but media is supposed to be talked about, discussed and even criticized at times. That's like, the whole point of publishing stuff. As an enjoyer and supporter of Wakui's manga, I feel like I have the right to question some inconsistencies and contradictions (not directly attack him tho, that's never okay. like people who send death threats over ships and stuff that's messed up) that showed up in the ending. I also believe lots of people didn't really take it seriously as a manga idk. It had some very serious topics that people seem to forget about. For example: suicide, abuse, abandonment, child neglect, substance abuse, extreme violence, rape, prostitution etc, and I think people just kinda see it as a silly manga that has cool characters they like. And that's okay. It's okay to not take a piece of media seriously and enjoy it for the sake of enjoying it, not everything needs to be critically analyzed, but stop shitting on the people who take it seriously enough to question why the fuck it ended how it ended. Lots of the discourse took place between critical analysers who wanted an author to finish the manga by sticking to the themes and messages he has set up the entire time versus casual enjoyers who just wanted everyone to be happy for the sake of liking the characters. And I completely agree with the Izana thing!!!! You cannot claim to have saved someone by rewriting their entire life!!! Takemitchy was not supposed to be god!! Also, isn't the moral story of time travel that you should never ever do it? Because you win some, you lose a whole lot fucking more. I thought Draken dying was setting up that narrative. That saving Mikey, was gonna fuck up a whole lot. Isn't that why Chifuyu broke down?

Idk about you guys, but dark impulses being a curse disappointed me quite a bit. I thought it was supposed to be a symbol of Mikey being deeply mentaly ill. And that he had to deal with it head on and not run away all the time (this was Takemichi's entire storyline basically and the the main theme of TR). I just feel like it sucked because the message of the ending, whether Wakui intended it or not, was that you can't be fixed without magical time traveling. Although the story had some fictional aspects, it was realistic at least. I thought they'd deal with everything that wasn't time travel realistically.

Any ship with Sanzu and the Haitani's is hilarious to me and although I don't ship any of them seriously, the fanarts fun to look at some time (and you're right I think they look good together cause they're hot😭). You are completely correct about them not liking each other tho. It's actually canon. Idk if you remember during the three deities fight when Ran hit Haruchiyo with his baton? Nothing but pure malice between their eyes😭. The Koko and Akane ship actually triggers me because one thing about me? I'm not comfortable with large age gaps. Akane was 5 years older than Koko💀. And I didn't know people took what she said to him seriously. I thought she was just trying to not hurt his feelings? Koko and Inupi were around 7/8 when the fire happened. Meaning Akane was like 12/13. Uhhh Idk bout y'all but I don't think a 13 yo would be attracted to someone that young. And waiting for them to be of age is...😶. Be fr.

[the-bloody-sadist]

If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Thank you for asking! I had one person who sent me an ask related to this and then deleted it before I could answer (I think I scared them away yelling at other people in my asks 😂).

So here we go, a compiled overview of my TOP TEN FAVORITE MEDIA!! Some will be current that could change (like songs, ever changing) and others will be permanent (like shows).

NBC's Hannibal [Show]: It shouldn't come as a surprise that this is my top favorite piece of media of all time. Not to do the whole 'I liked it before it was mainstream' but I FOUND IT WHEN IT WAS STILL RELATIVELY CULT-LOVED AND GOT INTO IT WHEN IT WAS ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO. THE FANDOM FELT TINY ❗️ Anyway, I'm so glad to see how far it's come and how the fandom has grown. This remains one of the only series that was cancelled that I couldn't tell was actually cancelled because it still wrapped up so nicely in the last-aired season. I'm endlessly impressed with the character arcs, the dynamics, the PSYCHOLOGY (a huge deal for me), and especially the dialogue. I mean, I could list literally every element of this show and how tastefully it was used, but the main highlights are how artfully the gore is shown - giving great perspective of the killers whose eyes we mainly see through - and the dialogue. There's a surrealist tone to it, and so many of the lines are subtle poetry without being the hamfisted one-liners of so many other shows that try to do the same. The actors are incredible, the scenes are precisely paced, and just overall you can tell this was a work of the heart. I mean, more superficially, the homoerotic nature of Hannibal and Will's relationship appealed to me as soon as it was introduced, because GODS is it miles higher in chemistry than like ACTUAL EXISTING so-called LGBT romance shows. (I'm glaring FLAMING DAGGERS at the garbage Interview With a Vampire show in which they ruined everything but most of all the chemistry that the original story did so well.) In any case, please watch it! It's one of the best things I've ever seen.

Last Night in Soho [Film]: Directed by my favorite director, Edgar Wright, who has the most fantastic habit of matching musical beats to visuals (a particular love of mine), this film is GORGEOUS, for one. The colors and scenery, the editing, the lights, the creative shots, the effects, the MIRRORS! Don't get me started on the mirrors. I love mirrors. One of my favorite things about characters - although ONLY when done well - is the contrast of duality. Some of the best portrayals besides this one are in Tokyo Ghoul and Moon Knight, off the top of my head. It's hard to find portrayals I like, but this one shines above them all. There are technicalities on the actual character being dual, but I wouldn't spoil it for you. It's the journey of both a past and present woman, one struggling to find her place in the fashion industry, and one struggling to escape the sex industry before it devours her. I heavily related to certain themes in this one and was viscerally enthralled in the choices and character arcs made in certain scenes. It's cathartic, it's overwhelming, it's PURE ART. You're missing out if you never see this one.

HBO's Sharp Objects [Show]: On so many levels, this one speaks to my wounded little heart. Dealing with heavy topics like childhood trauma, parental abuse, self harm, child murders, the bad sides of southern/small-town culture, and mental illness, I don't know if there's another character that I feel quite as connected to as Amy Adams' portrayal of Camille Preaker. The outstanding detail of this one for me, personally, is Camille's mother, Adora. I can confidently say that there IS no other mother that resembles how my childhood felt than Adora, and because of that this show was a painful sort of catharsis. But I love feeling emotions to a dangerous degree, and I'll just say the finale of this one wiped me the fuck out. I'm currently rewatching it for the first time with my close friends, and I'm so scared to get to that finale again. Lmao. But in a good way. In any case, other than Adora, I also identified with the accurate and visceral portrayals of self harm and PTSD. The way that they show flashbacks and visually jumpscare the viewer WITHOUT the presence of blasting music was the show's shining glory. You have literal ASMR wind and crickets over shots of a dead child's missing teeth, blood hitting pavement, pornography on a cabin door, and then a hanged corpse in the corner of the bedroom, right there with Camille in the shot. It is...SO accurate to the feelings of PTSD. It's just so good. I would recommend the show for that alone, and yet everything else is so perfect, too. Along with the gripping plot of a murder case, the intense shame that follows Camille wherever she goes makes for such good conflict and friction with her surroundings. Everything is personal because it takes place in her hometown. Anyway, I can't keep rambling my mind out of its skull over this one. It's beautiful, it's perfect, it's fascinating. Please see it. I beg of you. For me, it represented so much of how it felt to grow up with family dynamics like Camille's. If you relate to it, you'll either love the catharsis or hate the memories it revives.

No Longer Human [Novel]: Pretty sure I've already rambled my ass off about this one when I made the 10 Characters 10 Fandoms post since Yozo is one of the most relatable characters I've ever read about and thus one of my faves! But yeah, this novel is everything to me. I want so many quotes on my wall from it but honestly the one that I constantly think about is still that first line: "Mine has been a life of much shame." It's well known, but that doesn't make it any less impactful for me. I still tear up sometimes when I think about it. Yozo's thought process is just so...accurate. And knowing all about Dazai Osamu and his life as the writer and how closely it's tied to it? I don't think it will ever move from its spot as my top novel of all time.

The Vampire Armand by Anne Rice [Novel]: Lol so the gif isn't from this story specifically but I need gifs for happy brain so I have one related to the story. Probably one of my favorite romances of all time, mostly because it's a very reserved romance, in the sense that it can't exactly be labelled "romance" except in sub-context. (I mean they do have sex but it's like a story about vampires first, if that makes sense? The romance is sort of a subplot to Armand's vampire adventures.) Anne Rice is a favorite writer of mine, and this book was a masterpiece to me. The language she uses and the scenes of vampirism fascinated me, and I wish that vampire media was better at bringing Anne's true style to life. They make it so goofy nowadays, and no other vampire stories apart from some anime portrayals are ever interesting to me. Not to mention the new Interview With A Vampire series as aforementioned is SO BAD and I hate it. Anne could handle that excessive grace of a man who's lived for centuries and the intelligence gained along the way without ruining their humanity, and knew how to portray the loneliness of such a life without making her characters sound like the emo piss babies of Twilight. She has such a grasp on the poetry of words and breadth of experience, and I'll never get over just how exciting it was to read this book for the first time. Truly felt like I was discovering vampires for the first time, and how they would realistically operate if they existed.

Tokyo Ghoul [Manga]: I believe everyone knows quite enough about Tokyo Ghoul, so I promise not to ramble on this one! But in short, as a psychological thriller lover PLUS horror lover PLUS dual-personality-when-done-right-and-realistically lover PLUS cannibalism-exlored-and-the-terrifying-effects lover I MEAN THIS IS JUST THE STORY FOR ME OBVIOUSLY. Kaneki has and always will be fascinating to me no matter how mainstream or over-talked about he is. He is amazing. Did the anime leave out most of the good stuff from the manga? Yeah, but Kaneki was there. The torture scenes were great. Is the manga better? WORLDS BETTER. But I still enjoyed the anime and got into it through there. I respect the anime's attempt to capture what was a sincerely tragic and deep emotional story. But man, reading the manga is something else, entirely. I haven't had the chance to read every single volume, and I may have skipped around a bit in search of the best parts to invest my time in, but boy I never regretted it. Kaneki's arc, getting to see into his head and experience his trauma and eventual decline into madness was SO SO SO SO SO FUCKING GORGEOUS. Nothing will beat it for a descent into madness story for me, I don't think. Plus ghouls as a whole and the art of the manga are just so *claws the wall* I wish I could draw like that.

The Phantom of the Opera [Score]: What's this?? Het media on Sadist's list?? Okay. I'm a huuuuge music fanatic. I grew up with multiple instruments in the house and played to escape, wrote to express, blah blah blah you get it, I NEEDED music to survive. When I discovered this soundtrack, as someone who despises musicals (and still does, but a few have made it through to my heart), I was ENTHRALLED, I tell you. ENCHANTED! Never before or since have I heard such riveting, mysterious, ethereal music, much less in a musical. Every single fucking song on this soundtrack is evocative and perfect and EVERYTHING. And the STORY! AUGH! I've always adored the story. One of my main quarrels with het 'romance' media is that so many of the "greats" (AKA The Notebook, 50 Shades, Twilight, After, etc.) have these fucking...WALKING RED FLAGS that are presented to be the most romantic things ever. Like the movie itself is gaslighting the audience into believing the emotionally manipulative man dangling off of a ferris wheel and threatening to kill himself if the girl doesn't go out on a date with him is adorable. I don't find it cute I find it reminiscent of every bad partner I've ever had, and I can't watch the movies because NOBODY in them ever acknowledges or is affected negatively in any way by these glaring, abusive behaviors. In Phantom of the Opera, Eric (the phantom) is obsessive, stalkerish, possessive, etc. - many things that other media presents as love WITHOUT understanding how it's also terrifying. The movie (though a little goofy at times and dramatic, I'll admit - which is why the score and not the film is on my tops list LMAO) presents these factors as they SHOULD be presented - scary. The music is ominous, the songs are obsessive and enchanting, and it's not presented as cutesy romance. That's why I love it so much. If you want a toxic love interest, please go right ahead and make one! You guys know me, that's literally what I write about. So I hope I've made myself clear about this topic and what I mean - just present the actual abuse as ACTUAL ABUSE, and scary and horrible, even if the protagonist is falling in love with that. Because reality can be like that. It's tough. But in Phantom, Christine goes with the healthy love interest in the end, Raoul, and I've always thought the ending was beautiful for that, because the Phantom still learned love in the end by letting her go. ANYWAY! Enough of that, good grief lmao. Tumblr with no word limits is so dangerous for me.

Mo Dao Zu Shi [Donghua]: 3 Seasons and I still haven't had enough of it. I just recently rewatched this with my close friends and good gods I was appreciating all the intricacy and character development the second time around. There isn't a single character left un-developed in this donghua like SERIOUSLY. Seriously, big kudos to the fucking author. In anyone else's hands, the magic system and the multiple plot lines and the larger-than-life characters most likely would've been fumbled. But whoever directed this KNEW what they were doing and KNEW their source material. And look, even though I barely know who is who because names are confusing and I barely understand half of the magic going on and why people are fighting, THIS IS THE SINGULAR SHOW THAT EXISTS WHERE IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER. I'M STILL TRYING TO UNDERSTAND HOW THAT WORKS. But it does? The emotional capacity of every scene no matter if I know what's happening or why just HITS and I'm always rooting for the characters or crying over them. Like, it's just insane. Okay. Everyone who's into BL should watch it, because it's one of the best. And even if you're not into BL, it's one of the best. The action is INCREDIBLE. apffff moving on.

The Case Study of Vanitas [Anime]: BRUUUUUHHHHH. We all know. We all know. I don't need to say anything. But the two boys, man. Two of my top faves. The show is gorgeous, the character designs are beautiful, the setting is romantic, the boys are gay (they are. they are gay.)...I mean what more can I ask for. Oh yeah also vampires! They're vampires. And I love vampires that are like, actually cool. Thank you for making actually cool vampires within a really interesting magic system. I would kiss the author but she made Vanitas straight so no kisses. ONE OF MY FAVORITE COUPLE OF CLIMAX EPISODES OF ALL TIME BTW.

A Silent Voice [Anime Film]: :(...I can't really talk about this one. I relate to it so much. Social anxiety, depression, attempted suicide. It's a really beautiful and painful movie. I cry every time I watch it. The end, that's all. The imagery and the meaning behind so many shots is just...UWEGH.

To Your Eternity [Anime]: *furiously points* LOOK AT THE BABY. OH MY GODS LOOK AT HIM. You guys, you guys. You guys. If you haven't seen this, and you like crying, and you need to cry really hard, and you need the most fascinating and heart wrenching story of all time, this is the one. Fushi, also? Hot. The Beholder, his daddy? Hot. Kenjiro Tsuda? Hot. Sorry, besides the point. This is the best written "you're supposed to cry" story I've ever seen. Nothing beats it. You know what they're going to do to you but yet they somehow subvert your expectations of HOW every fucking time, and MAN??? It hurts. But it hurts so good. And Fushi should be real so I can kidnap him, that's all.

I did 11 things, I'm so sorry. I do this every time. BUT I SURE HOPE YOU FOUND THOSE INTERESTING AND POSSIBLY FOUND A NEW THING TO ADD TO YOUR LIST IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN/HEARD/READ BEFORE. Thanks anon for the ask!

Oh yeah and as extra I wanted to throw in my favorite song right now because IT'S REALLY PRETTY.

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Okay, I just finished watching Sex Education, and I will be honest, I was very… underwhelmed.

I know this show means a lot to a lot of people, and I can see why, and I liked parts of it, but to me it started out very strong and ended so disappointingly.

I was captivated by the struggles of some of the characters, by how their stories were weaved into one another, but that’s easier to do when you have a handful of characters. By season 3, there were so many characters, and the creators seemingly insisted on developing each individual storyline as profoundly as possible, but that just resulted in stories being presented and resolved in a rush, sometimes inexplicably, and it all felt just very clunky. I tried to suspend my disbelief of how time passed in this universe, how one storyline seems to be moving slower than another in the span of the same day, but it became so glaringly obvious that it came down to shoddy editing, and too many loose ends to trie to tie up.

By season 4, I didn’t have enough time to connect with anyone new, didn’t feel like any of the new characters was actually given enough time and space to unfold properly. It was just jam-packed with tropes and themes and difficult topics that deserved much better development. Like Cal’s dysphoria, or Viv’s abusive relationship, or Isaac’s and Aisha’s disabilities, or O’s asexuality, or even Jean and Joanna’s difficult relationship and Jean’s postpartum depression (in fact, I feel like Jean really got done dirty this season, because she was an interesting character the whole way, and she went through a lot, she almost died, she’s going through massive heartbreak, and those things are never addressed again except that one little moment, and Otis is THE ABSOLUTE WORST to her in this season…)

And that did not happen, of course, to the characters from the first two seasons, they got to be fully developed and nuanced and you get to examine their whole stories and they make sense. You get to see Aimee deal and come to terms and put behind her the sexual assault, you get to see Maeve get out and then have massive doubts about her talent and see her dreams interrupted once more by her mother’s overdose and her brother going down the same path; you get to see Eric come fully into his own skin with his sexuality and struggle with the fact that he might have to choose between that and his community; you get to see Adam go from bully to realizing his sexuality to realizing what has made him into a bully to trying to change and be honest to himself and others; you get to see why Ruby is the way she is but also that it’s all just a front and why it’s hard for her to not put up walls.

It felt like, by season 3, the creators were just ticking boxes: non-binary character, check; trans characters, check; characters with disabilities, check; boy with two mums inexplicably wanting to find their biological father, check… It felt a little like (and I swear this comparison hurts me the most) watching Glee.

(Remember Glee? Most people would say ‘well Glee walked so that Sex Education and Heartstopper and Young Royals, etc could run’… No, unfortunately it feels more like Glee took two steps and then stumbled horrible so that these other shows could run. And sadly, in my opinion, Sex Education didn’t fair much better…).

It made me sad to learn about how LGBTQIA+ activist and ace representative Yasmin Benoit collaborated with the Sex Education creators to create a character that was a well-rounded representation of the asexual community, but in the end they turned her into the season’s villain and for no good reason. I understand people’s frustration with that, especially Yasmin’s, because it felt like it could have been handled much better. And as an acespec person myself I would have been more upset about this too, were it not for the fact that everything else was so bad in comparison that O being turned into a villain felt like the least of this season’s problems.

Something else that bothered me was that, whilst Sex Education is a satire and a lot of the characters are caricatures (like Ruby being the popular glamorous bitch with her two cronies who do everything she says, and Aimee is the bimbo with the heart of gold, and Mr Groff is the stuffy narrow-minded professor, and Lily is the unashamed weird girl, etc), there is a fine line between caricature and cartoon, and some of the characters went too far. Like Hope in season 3 was too much of a cartoon villain, and Molloy being the admirable but former literature sensation who is brutally harsh with his students; and Beau going from flirty to abusive in .5 seconds; and Joanna being the over-the-top disaster person. There is no further substance to these people, they are just there to fulfill a role as a foe to one of the main characters, but the lack of realism makes them very underwhelming, and all the plots associated with them become predictable and boring…

And this might be a very unpopular opinion but… at first the whole Otis and Maeve thing, although clichéd, seemed like a nice idea, but the more time passed, and especially with the way that Otis became in the last season, by the end of it I really didn’t like it at all. It felt like Maeve deserved a lot better.

Otis was a somewhat interesting character in the beginning, and I could sympathize with him for all his flaws and the way that he tried to help people but ultimately couldn’t deal with his own shit. But it was so frustrating to see him making the same mistakes over and over, to the point where it affected his relationship with everyone important, from his mum to his best friend to his girlfriend.

Not that the show had to be perfect. No show is perfect, but it truly felt like the creators had a really good idea but didn’t figure out how to wrap it up, and promptly cornered themselves and then were fighting their way out of that corner…

My favorite things about the show, though, were:

-Anything with Eric (except maybe that whole thing about him and his bully becoming a thing, because that was disturbing, but I really really liked when Otis brought this up, and I really really hated when Eric got defensive about it, and I also reaaaaally hated when Eric got mad at Adam for not wanting to have anal sex, like he didn’t even want to talk about it, you’re better than that, Eric Effiong).

-Despite this, Adam and Eric not having a happy ending together was a breath of fresh air, because as much as they were cute together (I just reaaaaally wish Adam hadn’t been the former bully) they weren’t right for each other.

-Aimee’s whole journey from being with Adam to being with Steve, to ditching the Untouchables for a meaningful friendship with Maeve, to exploring what she wanted to do, to coming to terms with her assault, to discovering art as a way to express herself. She really is one of my favorite characters.

-Colin and Ms Sands were my absolute favorites too, and them coming back for one episode, and Colin playing With Or Without You at the funeral. And Ms Sands always wanting Maeve to fulfill her potential, and trying to help Adam and even coming to see him in the dog show.

-Any moment when Eric is just fabulous, especially wearing that kilt at the queer night club. Ncuti Gatwa is truly one of the most beautiful men in this world, and he just can’t help but sparkle. He is the sparkly one.

-And as I said before, Adam’s poem to Eric, absolutely broke my heart.

-I loved the set design and costume design on the show, it was so unexpected for everything to feel so old-fashioned, and I wonder if there’s a meaning to that. Also, Jean and Otis’s house is my absolute dream house. I do wonder however what happened to all the penis and vagina decoration.

-I really liked the variety of characters and how we got a diversity of storylines and tackled a lot of important topics, but I just wished they had done a better job at it.

That’s about it. This turned out way longer than I expected. But I’d been putting off watching this show for so long, despite how relevant it became, and was really disappointed that I didn’t like it as much, so I had to vent.

[aintashes]

how have his childhood & adolescent experiences impacted the relationships he forms in adulthood? (:

send me questions you have about daryl — currently accepting !

oooh, this is such a good question and it's a topic i love to talk about ! thank you so much for letting me ramble about this, lmao !

this is also going to have to be under a read more, because it is a massive behemoth of a post. proceed with caution and bear in mind triggers for child abuse, neglect, death / grief, etc !

so... we all know that daryl was abused and neglected as a child ( by his mother, father, and brother ), as a teen ( by his father and brother ), and well into his adulthood ( by his brother and the type of company he kept ). there's no question about it, and the severity of the abuse he endured has definitely had a massive influence on the way he navigates his adult relationships.

you can see him struggle a ton with this while merle is still alive in the first 3 seasons of the show. merle makes daryl feel like he's all daryl has—

because family, kin, blood, comes before all else, right? it doesn't matter how much i abused you growing up and still abuse you now, because i'm your big brother and i know what's best for you, always. i spent years trying to make a man of you, so you owe me something. you're worthless without me and you have been since you were born. i'm older, i'm wiser, i always protected you even though i abandoned you at the drop of a hat every time i could to get away from the man we both suffered under our whole lives. i'm the only one who cares about you. nobody else will ever care about you. just me.

—and it's to the point where daryl literally leaves people who are better for him in every way in order to rough it on his own with merle. even when daryl decides that enough is enough, that he'd rather go be with people who appreciate him and give him a much better life, he still lets merle come back with him ( despite his awful behavior while they're on their own, such as merle's aggression with the family on the bridge ). he tells rick that if the group wants daryl to stay, then they must accept merle back into the fold even if they don't like him.

the degree to which daryl is so easily manipulated by his brother is astounding, but that's how that kind of abuse goes. they make you feel worthless, like you're nothing without them, like they made you the person you are and that you should be grateful to them— and if you ever try to leave them, to detach yourself from their hold over you, they make you feel like you're the piece of shit who doesn't care; like you are the one who's done wrong, not them.

and it leads into daryl being easily manipulated by people like rick, for example. there are countless times throughout the show where daryl does as rick asks of him even though he vehemently disagrees and / or doesn't want to, and every single time there's an overarching theme of do this because i need you to. because we're family, and that's what family does for one another. it's very much the same sentiment that merle instilled in daryl from a young age, and it's something that rick has literally seen merle to do daryl before but it's still something he chooses to knowingly repeat. it's a dynamic that becomes even more interesting the more daryl refers to rick as his brother ( and i could go on about this forever, but this post isn't just about the way that rick treats daryl. that can come sometime later ).

but then there are people like carol— daryl's best friend above all others from the very beginning. the woman he would do anything for. you don't have to look too deeply into their relationship to understand that part of the reason they get along so well is because of their similar backgrounds of abuse and neglect. even after years and years, the fact that their tight bond began and persisted because of their traumas is still referenced ( in season 10 ep 1, daryl's quote: sometimes i think we're just surviving one fight to the next. / and carol's response: it was like that for you and me before all this ).

i think it's important to acknowledge how daryl's history and experiences play so hard into the bonds he makes with other trauma survivors ( specifically trauma pre-outbreak, because yeah, everyone suffers horrific traumas once the dead begin to walk ). it carries over into his relationships with people like leah ( see this post for my thoughts on their relationship and why it's strictly platnoic ) and with lydia.

lydia is actually a really big one, too, because she's the most prevalent example of an abused child / teenager who daryl can bond with and who he sees himself in. during the time that he meets and gets to know lydia, however, he's in a position where he's more healed and has let go of much of his past life. it lets him relate to her, but it also lets him reach out to her. help her. show her that she doesn't have to stick by the side of someone who is / was atrociously abusing her. it goes back to him choosing merle over the people who actually cared for him— lydia is sort of an opportunity for daryl to come full circle and show the audience just how much he has healed in a lot of different ways ( even though he does still display some aggressive and stubborn behaviors. this is daryl we're talking about, after all ).

moving on, i can't talk about how daryl's past impacts his relationships without talking about his guilt and shame. this could be a whole separate post in itself because there's just so much to it, but i feel like it needs to be at least touched on here.

i believe it goes without saying that guilt and shame are two very large parts of what makes childhood trauma so debilitating. there's an air of responsibility that comes with it, like you need to set aside your own needs and dissociate from them in order to do and be what others need you to do and be ( people-pleasing ). and a lot of times, the guilt comes in when you push yourself so far that you break.

some examples of this are: not being able to find / save sophia, especially with her being another abused child and after he felt like the only person who cared enough besides her own mother to go looking for her; not being able to save beth at grady memorial after she became such a good friend to him in their solo travels after the tragedy of the prison falling; being taken advantage of by dwight, which eventually results in denise's death and daryl running off to go find him ( which then further results in michonne, rosita, and glenn being captured alongside him by the saviors and ending up being included in negan's lineup ).

the common thread between all of these events is that daryl feels like he's let his people down. maggie even has to pull him aside after he escapes the saviors to tell him that glenn's death was not his fault, and that he doesn't need to carry that shame with him.

and then there's the guilt he feels surrounding his reactivity throughout the show: for example, when daryl is tasked with leading their people away from the saviors after the fall of alexandria, he gets in tara's face for letting dwight go. his outburst frightens judith, which is perhaps the only thing that stops him from continuing to escalate. this leads into his shame surrounding children in general, as well— he is good with kids, as evidenced by his uncle daryl status with judith and rj, but one of the main themes of his time as their acting parent later in the show is that he has no idea what he's doing. he's never had a frame of reference for what actual good parenting looks like, and he constantly asks himself what rick would do instead of trusting in himself that he won't turn out to be what his own father was.

to make a very long story much, much shorter... the way that daryl's family treated him at large before the outbreak culminates in: intense trust issues; self-sacrificial behavior; people-pleasing; poor emotional regulation / reactivity; self-doubt / self-loathing; a deep fear of abandonment, yet the need for extreme emotional distance from others; dissociation from personal needs; feelings of unworthiness when it comes to relationships; struggles with emotional intimacy; hypervigilance; avoidant behaviors; confusion and unsettling feelings surrounding close relationships; and more.

it's also worth it to note that daryl does work through these feelings and trauma responses throughout the show ! you can see how much progress he makes as he gets closer to people in the group and how much he really begins to blossom into his own person without the influence of his old life hanging over him.

there are so many other things i could have mentioned, too. i didn't mention how daryl's trademark quiet nature is in itself fueled by his trauma ( what has talking ever gotten him? most likely, a beating ). how his willingness to sacrifice himself for the people he loves comes, in part, from his past.

and to that point, i never mentioned how daryl's physical body and the things he went through as a child and adolescent shape the way he interacts with people. how he shies away from physical touch until much, much later in the show. how his bodily autonomy is almost always in question ( and if you're curious about that, i have a post on it here ) and how every piece of his body has been used over and over again, down to the very blood in his veins being sold for money as a child.

i also didn't dive into how he's such a good judge of character that it's literally spelled out for you and mentioned countless times throughout the show, but that when he's faced with one of his abusers asking him to go away with him, he does it even though merle is a terrible, awful, horrific, piece of shit person— which just goes to show you how deeply ingrained the trauma bond between him and merle really was. and, beyond that, how trust issues because of childhood trauma made it so difficult to really put his faith in the group when merle was in his ear telling him that daryl didn't need them. that they didn't actually care about him at all.

i never even got into his older brother-little sister relationship with beth, and how she was the first person to help him let go of a huge piece of his old life by burning down the old shack. and i didn't talk about how easily he's able to talk about merle when he tells connie the story about the boat.

all in all, there are countless ways in which daryl's childhood and adolescent experiences impact his adult relationships. so many that there are still more than this, but i feel like i have to stop now because this has gotten so long ! thank you so much for the question !!