#i could do it all over again
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acepalindrome · 2 months ago
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God, the temptation to let myself spiral!! It would even feel good to fall back into my old self destructive behaviors!!! But I fucking know better, so I have to kick and scratch and bite to keep myself moving forward!!!!
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starry-bi-sky · 2 months ago
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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spitedemon · 4 months ago
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i really don’t think it’s “typical dragon age fandom nonsense” for people to be genuinely upset about the world state choices. combat, level design, art direction, gameplay gimmicks, those have all varied across each dragon age game. the one thing that’s remained constant are nods to our previous choices.
i wasn’t expecting my HoF to come riding in on a griffon, but i can’t find a monument dedicated to warden tabris somewhere around the anderfels? lucanis couldn’t have some lines about the time that one arainai boy was stirring up trouble in antiva city? you’re gonna tell me that making a mage the new divine wouldn’t have some impact on nevarra and antiva? on the anderfels, the supposed most devout militant andrastian nation in thedas? you’re saying nobody in the north is paying attention to who rules orlais or ferelden? come on.
#dragon age#yes i’ve seen john epler’s explanation on only wanting to carry forward choices that they could ‘really do something with.’#and i understand what he’s saying and i’m curious to see how those 3 choices they brought forward will impact the story!!#but i’m still disappointed. and i think telling people why they shouldn’t be disappointed is just gonna make them More disappointed.#also don’t really appreciate dev comments like ‘careful what you wish for with cameos. it just gives us an excuse to find new and horrific#ways to kill your faves teehee 🤭🤭’ like okay???????? what???#alistair came back twice & could be fine both times. loghain’s inquisition cameo was so meaningful because who the hell expected to see him#again? leliana can straight up die in origins and yall brought her back anyways. like what are we doing out here.#also when i think of ‘typical’ nonsense for this fandom it’s people doxxing each other over fictional character opinions. or what#fictional side your fictional inquistor took in the fictional mage-templar war. or just plain old racism.#NOT ‘damn it’s fucking upsetting that this excited replay i’ve been doing of the previous games and all the recommending i’ve been doing#for new fans to play the other games before veilguard has turned out to be pretty fucking pointless.’#might as well tell someone to watch a let’s play of trespasser and that’s it.#11/26 in a hater mood so i’m turning rbs back on lol. go forth & be petty
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n-jostcn · 1 year ago
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the song of achilles — madeline miller
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night shift — stephen king
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euripedes — anne carson
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circe — madeline miller
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a conjuring of light — v.e. schwab
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west wind — mary oliver
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the song of achilles — madeline miller
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the fragile threads of power — v.e. schwab
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bubbarnes · 4 months ago
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“... there's so many movies that you go up with, you know?”
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claraoswalds · 7 months ago
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#mrs flood who are you: time lord edition
#dwedit#doctor who#mrs flood#fifteenth doctor#the master#jacobi!master#tenth doctor#jack harkness#martha jones#twelfth doctor#ninth doctor#*#okay here is my argument: mrs flood IS a time lord but her presence here has nothing to do with the doctor#instead she's here because of ruby. she's seemingly part of/related to the pantheon of discord & we know that ruby is connected to them too#so i think that she was deliberately placed as ruby's neighbor by the pantheon/oldest one/ruby's mom/? in order to watch over her#it also explains why she was there to check on ruby in 1.04. once she realizes she's on the phone w carla she says 'nothing to do with me'#and she leaves. which implies that it COULD have had something to do with her. if it had been something else going on#ANYWAY. to get to the time lordness of it all. rn i personally believe that she's a time lord that's been hiding on earth for 50+ years#bc i don't think she recognized the police box as a tardis initially. that first quote should be taken at face value.#instead picture this: she's watching over ruby as per usual. a police box is there - weird but nbd. then it dematerializes in front of her.#she drops her groceries. she's shocked. she kinda looks scared. if she already knew it was a tardis why would she react like that?#so imo she knows OF tardises. she DIDN'T know the police box was one. and she's worried the time lords have found her hence the fear.#but when nothing happens and nobody comes at her she realizes she's still safe#later when she sees the doctor she realizes the tardis is his/he must be a time lord. he doesn't identify her but that's happened before#so then when she asks him who he is i think what she's actually asking for is his title. WHICH time lord are you.#bc lbr if she knows abt tardises then she knows about time lords and if she knows abt time lords she knows what it means for ruby#to be joining him - and that's why she wishes ruby good luck. meanwhile this is clearly the outcome she WANTS (them to be together)#bc she gets visibly upset when the doctor seems to decide to leave without ruby.#and for once i'm not master clowning bc the list of names the doctor gives out is VERY interesting. some of them we've never heard before:#the bishop; the conquistador; later he adds the pedant and sagi-shi and reiterates the bishop AGAIN. so i wonder if she's the bishop.....
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choccy-milky · 2 hours ago
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how to scare a goody two-shoes ravenclaw 👵🏻
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shimmershy · 2 years ago
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Just two siblings back from the dead, hanging out, totally not using this opportunity to torment one another for the rest of time! <3
Chara Week Day 4: Flowers
[Image Description: A digital drawing of Chara and Flowey from Undertale. They're on the Surface, with grass and trees and mountains stretching out behind them. Chara has golden flowers clustered around their left eye and speckled in their hair and on their hands. They're kneeling on the ground and smiling wide, holding Flowey's flower pot in one arm. Their other hand is outstretched in front of them and holding a camera. Flowey has a red bow wrapped around his stem and stickers in the shape of hearts, stars, and smiley faces decorating his pot. He looks annoyed as Chara leans their face in close to his to take a photo. /End ID]
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catcomixzstudios · 5 months ago
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I can barely begin to express how much the course of my life has been altered because of a 40 minute highlight video done by @jelloapocalypse and friends riffing over a 20 year old sky pirate game.
I made an off-handed comment after watching it together with two of my longtime friends, about how much I wish I had what Vyrsa had, and one of those friends STRAIGHT-UP TELLS ME that her and her wife have been crushing on me for a while.
The feeling was mutual, though I'd been of course hesitant to even hint at it.
Anyway now a few months later, we're a thruple, and we decided to honor the genesis of our relationship by cosplaying as the trio that made it a reality for my 30th birthday!
PinkCatNinja, me (CatComixzStudios), and ArtieStokes as Aika, Vyce Vyrsa, and Fina respectively, from SKIES OF ARCADIA!
And as a bonus, a comment I left on the video before my egg would crack completely (was still IDing as genderfluid at the time)
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hawkinslibrary · 29 days ago
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Stranger Things 4 Chapter Nine: The Piggyback | 4.09
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royalarchivist · 1 month ago
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Pac: This is the new me, ok? I want you to welcome... the new Pac! [...] This skin is really cool, I think I'm gonna use this more often.
Himaru: ...What happened to you, man? Did you get run over? 😰
Pac: [Laughs] Don't judge me, don't judge me!
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Being ugly in Arkanis is a crime, and unfortunately for all of us, Pac loves being a criminal. 😓
[ Full Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]
Pac: Guys– This is the new me, ok? I want you to welcome... the new Pac!
Pac: [Laughs]
[Pac gets kicked from the server with the message: "Change this"]
Pac: [Laughing] No! No! No– I won't change, I won't change, I won't change! I won't change! Let me- let me in! No no no– What a dictatorship– there can't be a dictatorship here, no– No, I won't change! [Stammers] I'm- I'm myself! I'm myself!
Pac: [Pinches his nose so he has a nasally voice] Hi friends, welcome to class. I'm going to talk like that, ok? I'll even turn off the facecam, because today, I'm going to– I'm kidding, no no no.
Pac: Man, this skin is really cool, it really is. I think that this– I'm gonna use this more often, man. [Reading chat] "Halloween is over" Guys, this– This is who I am now! Who I am– This is me now, I'm this person here.
[Red text appears on the screen saying "30 seconds to change"]
Pac: "30 seconds to change–" Hang on, what is this?! No– calma, what is–? Guys, for the love of god–
[Another warning appears saying "20 seconds to change"]
Pac: No!!! No! No no no! No no no! You can't do this! You can't do this here. You- you can't. You can't make me change my skin.
[A final warning appears saying "10 seconds to change"]
Pac: No– You can't, I won't take it off! I'm going to my class now, I have to go to class! This is my "studying" skin! I- I–
[Pac gets banned]
Pac: [Hits his desk]
Dono: The skinmakers in chat are crying, having heart attacks, collapsing. It's horrible, dude.
Pac: [Laughs] It's not that ugly, it's fine, it's good.
Himaru: [Long pause] ...What happened to you, man? Did you get run over?
Pac: [Laughs] Don't judge me, don't judge me! Ok? Look at- look at- look at JVNQ! He has a funny face too, but nobody says anything about it!
Himaru: No man, I'm not judging you, but– I just wor- I'm just worried! [...] Well for me, I'll be serious with you: it doesn't matter what's on the outside, ok? What matters is what's inside, got it?
Pac: Thank you. [He hugs Himaru] Do you think I'm poggers? Do you think I'm poggers? Say it.
Himaru: No Pac, it doesn't matter that you look ugly, ridiculous, like a truck reversed into you then ran you over, like someone hit you–
Milo: my god
Himaru: –like Anderson Silva crushed you in the ring– Hey, it doesn't matter! What matters is that your heart is beating.
JV: And you have a home!
Himaru: Understand? Give love to others, ok?
Pac: My god.
Milo: he was saving those insults
Himaru: And that's all, ok man? You can be at peace, ok? I won't- I won't judge you, I'll just... I'll just do one thing, man.
Pac: What are you doing?
Himaru: I'm just going to avoid eye contact, ok? But I'm still talking to you, I'm still listening, ok? I hear you.
Pac: ...I can't believe this.
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benevolenterrancy · 4 months ago
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this description made me realise what one of my favourite MXTX character tropes is: Over-Worked, Under-Appreciated Employee Who Is Not Above Becoming Somewhat Evil About It
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bakudekublogblog · 11 months ago
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the way katsuki just IS izuku's first love drives me nutty. like he just had a big ole crush on him with his huge-ass heart eyes and he chased him around with maximum puppy-love smitten energy
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faceless-ghostt · 4 months ago
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well... welcome back to Meme redraw hell ig. Pt 5
will these ever end? idk, probably ┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠`⁠)⁠┌
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(references and rambles under the cut)
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I'm still not completely happy with how I draw Thad but I'm getting there slowly, incredibly slowly. Same with Kon, he's not there yet but he's much closer. and I swear that isn't the usual outfit I draw him in, I swear I can do better ToT
Mindless rambles about my struggles with designs aside I've been trying to post more, mainly to get me back in the habit of drawing, but I am working on a larger, not large, but larger project that may or may not have to do with a Young Justice 98 and FNAF mash up and one of the characters is absolutely fucking me over. So I'm just doing easy drawings until my brain agrees with my arms enough to actually draw what I want to draw. I don't think these drawings are things I'll put on the Internet because they are just random drawings, but I'll probably share them to the YJ98 discord server. but I personally think this is a fun AU I am currently making and it will be forced on the world soon, kicking and screaming.
idk why I'm even rambling, probably because it's 2:30 in the morning and my brain is melting from multiple weeks of shitty sleep but ajdgakudgshsixhsv
uh, shameless plug moment, Join the YJ98 discord server that is pinned on my profile, it's fun and great and I want to yap with more YJ fans!
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kyoshi-lesbians · 11 months ago
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Ty Lee | all-american bitch
I know my place and this is it
[video description: an amv centered on Ty Lee set to “all-american bitch” by Olivia Rodrigo. The video focuses on Ty Lee's dynamic with Azula throughout the years, and juxtaposes Ty Lee's bubbly flirty persona with her extremely efficient chi-blocking fighting style and shrewd observations. end description.]
cw for flashing. extended video description under the cut
First verse contrasts scenes of Ty Lee, Azula, and Mai as children with scenes of Azula threatening Ty Lee in Return to Omashu, and from then on being a weapon for Azula in her mission. Scenes mainly pull from the trio’s early book 2 action as they chase Aang. 
First chorus: on “Forgive and I forget”: Ty Lee mid-air doing a flip cuts to young Ty Lee landing a flip. young Azula pushes young Ty Lee to the ground and laughs. Ty Lee chi-blocks a kyoshi warrior on "And I act like it. She flirts with Sokka on “Got what you can’t resist” and chi-blocks Katara on “perfect all-american”
Second verse features mainly scenes from the end of book 2 when Ty Lee, Azula, and Mai are in Ba Sing Se disguised as Kyoshi warriors. Many of the scenes show Ty Lee being undignified, contrasting with the lyrics (but fitting the ironic tone of the song). These scenes include Ty Lee jumping into the sludge during The Drill, her covered in mud, and flying through the air with Mai after Appa flaps his tail at them. 
Second chorus: “Forgive and forget”: Ty Lee after her circus performance agreeing to join Azula. Other clips juxtapose Ty Lee during The Beach with Ty Lee fighting during The Boiling Rock. 
“I know my place”: Rapid cuts of Ty Lee and Mai beside Azula, cut to Ty Lee anxiously looking side to side during The Boiling Rock confrontation. On the second “I know my place”: Rapid cuts of Ty Lee hugging Mai, and Mai and Azula preparing to fight. 
“And this is it”: Ty Lee chi-blocks Azula. 
Bridge: Scenes from the fallout of Ty Lee betraying Azula - Mai and Ty Lee being arrested −  cut together with Ty Lee’s emotional outburst during The Beach campfire scenes. During the screaming and fast-paced music, there are rapid cuts of Ty Lee fighting and moments beside Azula, in between cuts shots of Ty Lee crying. 
Outro: Ty Lee bowing to Azula during Return to Omashu. Then Ty Lee crying during The Beach party, and Azula apologizing to her. 
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mohntilyet · 1 month ago
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despite not feeling like illario should be a parent or mentor figure to absolutely anyone at all. and of course lots of media has done "unhappy mentor to a young child that ends up getting attached". but have we all considered the idea of illario finding a fledgling that's been tossed aside or had their house stripped from them, sees his failure reflected back at him . right . and before he knows what he's doing and against his better judgement and his arrogance and his pride, illario brings them into house dellamorte. to start it's just to piss off caterina. give it about a month and he'll start projecting his own desire to succeed and since he can't rise above his own humiliation then this fledgling HAS to. and then he gets attached. and then during particularly gruelling and horrible crow training, illario reminds himself of caterina. right then and there he would have to decide if he can stomach turning into her, or if he can finally begin to understand the unconditional love that lucanis has always felt towards him
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