#has me feeling incredibly nostalgic and emotional

[hawkinslibrary]

Stranger Things 4 Chapter Nine: The Piggyback | 4.09

[paulmescalsbiceps]

hey it’s me again, sorry, but I’m completely enchanted by your james! soooo, you had written one where the reader went on a bad date, what do you think about doing the opposite? where james ends up going on a date and the reader starts feeling jealousy super strange emotions - 🍓

𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞 ☾ *･ﾟ roommate!jamespotter x reader wc: 1k a/n: 🍓 anon you are literally my love <3

James left less than a half hour ago. He’d tamed his usually feral hair tidy for his date tonight. You’d spent the afternoon watching him meticulously as he got ready. He looked good. His red button up shirt looked incredible against his tan skin, and paired well with his dark eyes. Nerves seemed to cease when it came to James. He was nothing but confident when it came to dating, despite not even knowing the girl.

“So how’d you’d meet her?” You had asked, sitting perched on the edge of James bed. It wasn't unusual for the two of you to linger in each other's rooms as the other got ready. You can recall many weekend’s where James has sat comfortably in your bed admiring you getting ready for a night out. Now it was your turn to watch James, except it didn't quite feel the same as you sat with a sour feeling in your lower stomach. 

“Sirius introduced me to her. Apparently she works near the same building as me so he thought it might be worth a shot, y’know similar jobs and all” James fiddled with the hem of his shirt, tugging it down. You were happy for James, really, he deserved to get to go out for dinner with a pretty girl. But that didn’t stop your heart from feeling weak. 

Pining after James was exhausting especially when you share the same living space. You get to see him as honest as he can be. The way his nose scrunches up when tries really hard to focus on what's happening on tv. His cute little signs and groans when he’s bored and craves your attention. And now you have to watch him as he pulls at the strands of his hair, smooth tongue slightly stuck out the corner of his mouth, desperate for it to be perfect for this girl.

There’s a strange ache at the bottom of your stomach at the thought of him wanting to please this girl. You're sure she’s nice and as perfect as Sirius claims and really what more could you want for James? But the idea that some other woman could be James' girl and not you. Hurts. 

Moving to the lounge room you decide you need to distract yourself from his date. Searching through the channels you settle on a nostalgic 2000s rom-com. 13 going on 30, a true classic. Bag of Malteasers by your side, your mind floats away from James as you lock in on the movie in front of you. 

James is not slick with his entry home. His heavy body practically crashes into the wall as he attempts to take his shoes off while standing. You’d fallen asleep on the couch, movie long forgotten and eyes still adjusting to the light as you wake at the sound.

You can tell from his body language that James was happy, bringing an ache to your heart. God, was she really that good? James had never looked so happy after being around you before. At least to your knowledge.

“How was your date?” James was clearly not aware of your presence as he jolted back clutching his chest at the sound of your voice. “Didn’t think you’d still be up. Save any chocolate for me?” he grinned at you with a boyish smile, eyes beaming with glee. 

He moved to sit next to you, knee now touching yours. He smelt differently than usually, like perfume. God that hurt to think about. Did he hug her, did he kiss her? Nope, do not think about him kissing her. 

You could see him watching you spiral, warm eyes looking at your profile gently. He moved back on the couch placing an arm around the couch behind you, pulling you to move back so you were resting against his arm. 

His touch was so gentle, as was his presence. He was as equally comforting as he was distracting. “It was good, we work in the same department, just different buildings so that gave us something to talk about.” He explained, laying his head back and resting his eyes. 

“And..” You urged, wanting to hear all the details even if it made your stomach feel sick with jealousy. “And I don’t think we’ll be going on another date.” He confessed. His long fingers moved to play with the ends of your hair, fiddling the length between his fingertips. 

You had to hold back from letting out a sigh of relief. It’s not that you don’t want James to be happy, it’s just that you want it to be you. He took care of you. He flirted and called you sweet names like “pretty girl” and "lovey". Can you really be blamed for thinking there could be more between the two of you? 

Biting the inside of your cheek to hold back from exposing your satisfaction, you instead offer a small “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“She wasn’t really my type anyways” James yawned his once smug expression now lost and replaced with complete contempt as if the couch was the most comfortable place he could be. “Spent the whole night waiting to be back home with you.” At that he stands, stretching his arms up high enough that it reveals his stomachs and the happy trails that lead down to his pelvis.  

“Well, I should be getting to bed, gotta go to the gym in the morning. You alright here?” He breathes out, placing his hands on your knees and leaning down close to your face. Before you can answer he places a soft kiss to your hairline before pulling back. 

There are no words to describe how hard your heart is beating. He leaned down. and kissed you. your hairline albeit, but he still kissed you. You couldn’t even make your voice speak to reply to him, afraid you'll just squeak. Instead you nod your head to assure him he’s ok to go to bed. 

He turned to leave the room, not before noticing what’s playing on the tv. “I used to love this movie when I was little. They remind me of us, don’t you think so lovey?” Voice sleepy as he continued down the hallway not even waiting for a reply. 

If James Potter had a nickel for every time he made your heart flip even just this evening. He’d be rich beyond belief.

find readers version at this drabble ₊˚⊹

[mysticalserenity-tarot]

💭♡ What they want you to know? (Pick a pile)

{How to pick a pile? First, take a deep breath with your eyes closed to clear your mind. When you open your eyes, don't hesitate – pick the image that immediately grabs your attention or stirs up a memory. Remember, you can pick more than one pile if you feel called to. If none of the images stand out for you, it means there's no message for you at this time. You can always come back to it later.}

▶• ılıılıılıılıılıılı. ▶• ılıılıılıılıılıılı. ▶• ılıılıılıılıılıılı.

Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3 (from left to right)

Hello, and a huge thank you to everyone for your incredible support. It means a lot!

In this collective pick a pile reading, we'll reveal what your specific person (no matter who) wants you to know. Let's see where your energy takes us.

Disclaimer: This is a collective reading I picked up on multiple energies, so please only take what resonates and leave the rest. When something resonates you usually feel a light energy and in your heart you can feel it's your message, and the pic that attracts you is a clearly sign.

▶• ılıılıılıılıılıılı. ▶• ılıılıılıılıılıılı. ▶• ılıılıılıılıılıılı.

💬 PILE 1

3 of Cups, 3 of Swords, 6 of Cups (9 of Swords)

Hello Pile 1, and welcome to your reading. Let's dive in!

Oh my dear pile 1, your person is truly struggling, as confirmed by the struggling card itself, the 9 of Swords. They want you to know that they are in a challenging period, whether you're asking for a platonic, romantic partner, or family member. Whoever it may be, your company is the thing that keep them going. I sense that you have an optimistic, uplifting, or magnetic energy that they miss, and they miss the warmth of your hugs and the softness yet directness of your words. They truly hope to reunite or unite with you, and I see them asking the universe or their beliefs for signs. They're unhappy but won't admit it or say it directly - this may be someone afraid that you could reject them or hurt them in some way, so they prefer to keep their feelings to themselves. I'm sensing emotional energy, like they're getting upset or teary as they think about missing you. The 9 of Swords suggests struggle and tension, but there's a sense of hope that they'll see you (again). As if you left them thirsting for your presence.

Before you, they felt like a nobody, but after you, they feel like life has a meaning and purpose. If you left them, they want you back, and if they left you, they want you to take them back [Unless this is a toxic ex, please ignore them and keep going with your life, you deserve better and I promise you, you'll get better.] This person is feeling nostalgic, as indicated by the 6 of Cups, and I keep hearing "I'm grateful" for the impact you had on their life. You inspire them to do and be better, and they see you as a source of inspiration and support. They view you as “the light at the end of the tunnel”. So sweet!

However, they may struggle to express these feelings and may even feel like they're holding back. For some of you, I get the feeling that you'll reconnect in the future, possibly with a rekindling of an old flame. For others, they're waiting for you to reach out to them, especially if you're the more confident or bossy one.

33/333 and the number 3 may be significant for both of you, relating to growth, expansion, and the positive energy you bring to each other. That's interesting 33 summed up is 6 which is on the 6 of Cups and 6 represents harmony which further shows this positive energy you bring to your person's life.

Thank you for allowing me to read your energy, Pile 1.

Note: -If you enjoyed this and my other readings, and you'd like to support me further, you can do so on my ko-fi , I'd greatly appreciate it. It's not mandatory.

-For further guidance or a personalized reading, feel free to book a reading through my Tumblr DM or email [dvinecrystl@gmail.com]. I'm here to help you navigate life's challenges and find clarity. We can decide the price together. [I will be providing more details on my paid readings in the future. Keep an eye out for it]

💬 PILE 2

7 of Swords Rv, Ace of Wands, 4 of Wands (Judgement)

Hello Pile 2, and welcome to your reading. Let's dive in!

When you chose your pile, many of you may have thought of your divine counterpart/soulmate or future spouse. The Lovers card confirms this. But this reading is open to everyone and anyone, as always. Your person is dealing with a karmic partner or is in a relationship with someone who they thought was the one, but it turned out they were just a liar. They are feeling deceived and are paying for their naivety and bad decisions as a karmic lesson. They want you to know that they want a new beginning with you; which will open doors for the both of you, and they're tired of relationships that do not satisfy them or that are not what they seem at first. They want to celebrate this new beginning together like it's the first serious relationship you've ever had, even if you or them have been with other people in the past. Listen to your intuition and be patient. Divine timing is there for a reason and will not 'annoy' or 'frustrate' you, even if it may seem like it at first.

They believe in you strongly and want to emphasize that you have so much potential. Trust yourself, believe in your capabilities, and balance them with practice and logic. Patience and loyalty are required for your relationship to be stable and grow stronger. Reminder that karma is not just painful, but also teaches invaluable lessons. However, to move forward in your relationship, positive karma must be sought, which teaches lessons but also helps you expand as individuals. On a positive note, every person you encounter leaves you with valuable lessons that make you thrive in the long run.

I don't believe this is someone that would leave you for no reason, I sense strong admiration and attraction between you two. Whether in a romantic or platonic way. Wands, which also depict passion, in your spread are speaking louder!

Spiritual Awakening may be significant as well as fire elements (perhaps you or them are fire signs or have fire placements). You or your person are going through an awakening which confirms the karmic path currently.

Thank you for allowing me to read your energy, Pile 2.

Note: -If you enjoyed this and my other readings, and you'd like to support me further, you can do so on my ko-fi , I'd greatly appreciate it. It's not mandatory.

-For further guidance or a personalized reading, feel free to book a reading through my Tumblr DM or email [dvinecrystl@gmail.com]. I'm here to help you navigate life's challenges and find clarity. We can decide the price together. [I will be providing more details on my paid readings in the future. Keep an eye out for it]

💬 PILE 3

King of Cups, 2 of Cups, 8 of Swords Rv (5 of Wands)

Hello Pile 3, and welcome to your reading. Let's dive in!

I see some conflicts in values occurring, potentially between partners, friends, or family members. Some of you may be considering or thinking about your current partner, but this reading is open to everyone. They are advising you to compromise and communicate effectively to avoid the last word syndrome. Your loved one feels unfairly left out and want you to share your emotions, both positive and negative, with them.I know you may be afraid of their answer but they want you to know that if you talk with eachother like two mature people there's nothing to be afraid of, they'll tell their opinion but ultimately the decision is yours, they know they can't cage you and is a wrong thing to do. They want things to work out with you because they love you, even if they don't express it all the time. Expressing love doesn't always require saying 'I love you. Instead, they want open communication, trust, and to release self-imposed limitations within the relationship. Things can improve if both of you communicate effectively, even if disagreements occur as it's a normal part of any relationship. As always, this applies to both platonic and romantic love. (you may resonate with some messages in pile 2, if you feel called to). However, for a few of you, there may be challenges due to being on different lengths. Your guides may suggest leaving this person as someone more suitable could be waiting. But remember, the future isn't set in stone. If you feel strongly magnetized to someone, trust your intuition as it may surpass what the cards indicate.

Craftsmanship and charm or bracelet-making may be significant for you and your person. Additionally, I had somehow a vision of someone playing Jenga in a logical, strategic manner, which seemed peculiarly specific.

Thank you for allowing me to read your energy, Pile 3.

Note: -If you enjoyed this and my other readings, and you'd like to support me further, you can do so on my ko-fi , I'd greatly appreciate it. It's not mandatory.

-For further guidance or a personalized reading, feel free to book a reading through my Tumblr DM or email [dvinecrystl@gmail.com]. I'm here to help you navigate life's challenges and find clarity. We can decide the price together. [I will be providing more details on my paid readings in the future. Keep an eye out for it]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ANY LIKE/REBLOG/COMMENT IS APPRECIATED, ALSO IF YOU LET ME KNOW IF IT RESONATED.

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK.

ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EACH ONE OF YOU'S SUPPORT, I'M GRATEFUL 🤗🤍~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please note that I used AI language bot to help improve grammar and spelling in my readings, as English is not my first language. However, the interpretations and insights provided in my readings are all my work, based on my intuition and the cards' symbolism.

Disclaimer: Tarot readings are for entertainment purposes only and are not meant to predict or dictate your future. The cards provide insights and guidance, but the ultimate power of choice lies with you.(piccolo evidenziato)

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Michael Ralph, the Good Omens Production Designer, interview for Movieweb :), summer 2023

Question: What is your reaction to your fan's positivity?

Michael Ralph: It's unbelievable. To see your work reflected in the eyes of people that love it is incredibly complimentary and it feels on, you know, you're honoured by having that response .It's rare that you get to experience it. You know, I think that we were involved recently in a fans' view of the set where all the fans who'd been involved in a competition were able to walk around the set. It's extraordinary. And I got hugs and people in tears. And it is an overwhelming experience to stand in that street and be in that bookshop when you didn't think, even though you knew, but you didn't quite know it really existed as a place that you could walk around in is quite phenomenal.

Question: Do you see locations as extensions of characters?

Michael Ralph: My feeling is that we would all, if possible, choose to live where we believe and within an environment that we believe suits us, doesn't suit anyone else. It's a fingerprint thing. It's like, where are you most comfortable? Where are you most comfortable to read or to write or to watch a programme or where do you feel the most secure?That bookshop is an anchor point visually for the show and always has been an anchor point since day one. And it is where you feel most secure. It's where the door closed, you feel safe within it. And what emanates or resonates with that bookshop, not only from the character and the position or who Aziraphale is, is that everybody that walks into that bookshop feels the same thing. Everyone that walks in that bookshop, I've said it before, just want to live upstairs and drink red wine and read books all day and they feel comfortable and they feel nostalgic and it creates a sense of security and protection. And I think that if you can create that sort of sentimentality in something that you're walking around in, it must transcend the lens. And it obviously does because people feel it all the time and they want to go there and sit around in the corner and feel comfortable. So I think that from character point of view, I started really emotionally from Aziraphale. And Neil, whenever I've thought of a great idea that I tell Neil about and he tells me how amazing it might be or how fantastic or inspired it was, I suddenly start to realise it's probably in the book or it's probably in the script between the lines. What stimulates my apophenia, what stimulates my vision and my emotional motivation to design anything is what I can see in the page. So if he has written something so universally empathetic to an audience, then I'm seeing the same thing you are, in my variation, but it really is the same warp or the same sentimentality as I said, or any of those things. So if I can find how to get my fingernails under the edge of that, how I can actually depict it, then I know that it's going to work. And that's obviously... and you can believe in it then, and you can say it with all honesty, rather than impersonate your love for something or say something because your ego tells you you should, or produce something that's a duplicate of something you saw once in Italy. This is something you've got to feel that's specific to the project and specific to the written word, you know.

Question: Do you have the freedom to do what you want?

Michael Ralph: I must admit, reading the book the first time, it was difficult to get my head around how it was going to be depicted. You've got to be very careful that you don't impersonate what you've seen before, you don't copy and then call it original when it's not, because that's sort of like a cop out. You really, honestly have to live with it 24 hours a day, even while you're asleep, and search and search and search and search to find what it is that gets your fingernails under it, to find out what it is you really believe in. And it sounds so ethereal, but it's absolutely true. If you can get that, if you can openly find that, and you've got to feel that, if you can get that, then you're absolutely on something you can invest in and then something you can produce. Because then it's not something that's duplicated. All the furniture, literally all the furniture, all of the dressing on the walls, all of the bookshelves are all built but Bronwyn, a set decorator, will buy me a lot of brown furniture that she finds as really interesting furniture. Furniture that's got spindles and handcarved pieces and reliefs in it. And she gets me stuff that she believes goes with the character of the place. And then I'll break it open. This is what construction. I love working with construction with, because I'll break it open, cut it down, reattach it, and I'll remake wholewalls and bookshelves, like in the magic shop that none of it existed until we put together loads of stuff the set decorator found, that Bronwyn found. And then all that stuff ends up having a profile of the period, or echoes to you, little visual trip hazards of the period, of size and weight. But it isn't really anything you've ever seen before. It's not from a higher shop. It's not from a piece of furniture you bought, just plunk there. Because the camera sees things differently. And we have to lift all that up and make it bigger and larger in scale to punctuate the vision. So all of that is... there's all sorts of theories, I could go on forever, you know. I was saying to Bronwyn today that I think I've been working all my life on trying to raise my intellect, to be able to incorporate a vocabulary to explain what it is I do creatively. I'm not there yet.

Question: Is there something you'd like to explore in the future?

Michael Ralph: And it's funny you should say that, because that process, from what I've explained to you, doesn't originate with me. So you need to get that book or that source material, and someone has to say, you're the guide for this, I'd love to see what you see. And then it's like this massive submerge, you submerge into it. And then it's a journey, a journey that you embrace and it reveals things that I could guess maybe 15-20 things I'd like to do on Season Three, but it's not scripted. So what is that? You know, I've got imaginary things that I will adopt because I know that they've got weight or purpose that will work for Season Three. But I need to see what Neil shows me, you know, what Neil teaches and tells me, and then once I've seen that, I can run with it. He's such a wonderful appreciator of what you achieve. He's never questioned anything I've done, ever. And it's been hundreds of things, hundreds of sets and ideas. And no matter how crazy what it is, I might end up drawing the craziest things first. But he still loves them, you know. And it feels like it probably was there already between the lines. And all I've done is pick up on it. You got to really get into it to mime what it is that affects you and what moves you. What it is you love about something. You can watch a show and read a book and not love it. You don't know why you didn't love it, it's unequatable, but you just didn't connect. But what we're trying to do with everything we do cinematically is to connect, is to somehow get through the equation. So you feel it. And I got a feeling that's why Good Omens works so well. Because of the amount of love and emotion that people put into it and amount of faith people have in what they're doing, because it's only done out of joy and it's only done for the goodness of that wonderful story that is developed and matured, within it, between the characters. And because of that, you can do nothing but sprinkle magic on it all the time.

[malignedaffairs]

Just went through my very old posts to clean up my blog a little and it's been - phew! Unexpectedly emotional. All these incredibly lovely asks I got and 90% of those urls are deactivated. I wonder where you guys are now, how you're doing?

Also, time is weird in that way. I read some of my own tags about "being nostalgic" in the fandom like two years in and the post is from fcking 2013 :D Those filler Shiita episodes came out in 2014!! I remember even back then I felt like I had already been in the fandom forever. Now it feels like another life!

Also, it makes me feel very sad but it's time to admit that I've lost my spark for Shiita, and that being in online fandom as a whole has been feeling lonelier and lonelier. This seems to be it, the inevitable thing that had to come eventually, but... my heart :(

[puc-puggy]

really fascinated with deadpool & wolverine less as a movie and more as a corporate response to the growing insecurity in relating to and creating meaningful art. like, never have we been more aware of the impact that the relationship between art and artist is oppressively mediated by Corporation than right now with marvel, whose movies grow continually worse and more forgettable under growing corporate control, and this movie bears the weight of a particularly complicated and contentious merger. what they decided to do about it is just. fascinating. disturbing, but fascinating.

the movie is incredibly aware that it is a Product and seems to have completely sidestepped any attempt at meaningful storyline in lieu of packing as much Content into 2.5 hours as possible. and I mean Content. they broke him up with his girl & separated him from all his meaningful character connections, then sent him through a very funny but disjointed and lackluster plot, putting all the meat in nostalgic character interactions or gratuitous fan-pleaser match-ups that can work as tiktok clips. don't get me wrong, i'm a basic x-men bitch. wolverine is one of my all time favorites, especially early angry fucked up alcoholic logan. i gasped at elektra and straight up screamed when wesley snipes came into frame. I laughed out loud at the list of cocaine slang terms disney apparently has. it was fun! it succeeded in making me not mind that it was barely a movie.

and that's the rub, isn't it? it was barely a movie, and it knows it’s barely a movie. but it still has to connect with its audience somehow. and that, i think, is what's really fascinating. it forges its connection with the audience not by building characters or stakes and giving any of them genuinely grounded emotional arcs but by using a fourth-wall breaking character to commiserate with the audience about the impact of corporate ownership & profit on their relationship and access to the stories we love. while being the impact of corporate consolidation on stories you love.

deadpool makes jokes about his stupid villain and mcguffin machine, but the plot is still motivated by a stupid villain and a mcguffin machine. he jokes about being banned from doing cocaine on screen & does not do cocaine on screen because he can't. the corporation that now owns his IP has deemed it against their values. he jokes about what things "have to happen" in the movie because there is actually a list that they were given. as a friend pointed out, “the climax was exactly as contrived as it needed to be to make it a statement: ‘you see how this barely-fleshed-out villain character is just gonna kinda stand there in front of the macguffin machine for as long as we need her to so that we can have the conversations and tropes and results we want? yeah we're just gonna do that. we're gonna keep cutting back to her just standing there going Mmmmm mwah haha to specifically highlight how dumb it is. On purpose.’”

by embedding it in the plot with a character that breaks the fourth wall, the movie stops being “about” the plot on screen and starts being “about” the collective relationship to the characters, embodied by ryan reynolds, whose personal desire for a good deadpool & wolverine movie motivated by his pure love for deadpool is the mythological origin of the movie, and who was allowed to break character and say as himself to hugh jackman as wolverine “you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for this.” he’s turned into a sort of avatar of the pure fan, who’s there to love the character and have fun and isn’t too bothered by logistics and legalities. it wants you to feel like deadpool also hates it when stories get shuffled because of corporate stockowners, like this extremely expensive bullshit is his personal protest and he's going to give them a proper sendoff & ryan reynolds was around to hold everyone up to standard. the corporation soothing the audience and fan that people who love the stories are ‘in charge’ enough to create a good time, lowering your standards and expectations of a story to what’s profitable for them to create.

kind of genius.

[missmimii]

❦－𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 | 𝐌 - 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

୨ৎ － 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 | In which Matt has to leave Boston for his career in Los Angeles, as well has his girlfriend who takes the news worse then intended.

୨ৎ — 𝐂𝐖. None!

－ 𝒩ℴ𝓉ℯ𝓈 • I was in my feels when I wrote this, and it’s also fairly short. So forgive me <3

✈︎ － “Are you even listening to me?” Two days. “Baby?” She had two days.

☽－ A hand was placed on her shoulder, making the girl jump with shock. “Hey- it’s me.” Matt looked down at her with confusion laced across his face, seeing her face paler the usual, her hands fidgeting more than they did. His heart fell at the sight of his poor girl in such a state, her eyes void of the usual glint they beautifully rested upon. “doll,” He whispered, slowly dropping to his haunches in front of the girl. “you haven’t touched your food.” He said tipping her chin up.

✈︎ － His heart instantly sank as he saw the bags under her eyes, tears glistening the usual brown of her eyes. No words could fix her current state, so he did the only thing he could. Matt’s one arm wrapped around her waist, effortlessly lifting her from the edge of the couch as he stood.

☽－ Dipping his head into the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent of her sweet perfume as she curled into his chest with small sobs. I know, he wanted to say. As he squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his lips against her pulse, he oh so badly wanted to repeat the words. What did he know? Nothing. But he did know he hated seeing his girlfriend in such a way.

✈︎ － “It’s only four months.” Matt uttered against her neck softly, guilt sinking ship in his chest as he felt the girls arms tighten around his shoulders at the words. “Only?” She whispered through tears, voice cracking as she fought the sobs. She sniffed, raising her head from his chest to look into his blue eyes. “Four months, Matt.”

☽－ His swallowed the lump in his throat, nodding. “I know sweetheart.” It wasn’t just four months, it was four months without her. Seventeen weeks without hearing her adorably addictive voice. 175,316 minutes that he wouldn’t feel the weight of her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat as she lulled asleep. 2,921 hours going by each day without the smell of her body wash filling his house, steam escaping his bathroom as she showered. And 121 days with the lack of any happiness.

✈︎ － Matt knew why she was upset, but found himself throughly perplexed on she had gotten so emotional now. His absence wasn’t some surprise, he’d told her seconds after he found out he had to leave to LA. The triplet still felt the sinking of his heart when he heard the words utter from his Laura’s mouth, not only for him, but for the girl.

☽－ Boston was always a nostalgic and comfortable place for Matthew, he had his family, the familiar surroundings of his hometown, and her. Many late night drives where he’d drive by his old high-school, a faint smile gracing his lips as he reminisced the memories of the years he watched her pass him in the halls, before he finally built the courage to ask her out. Stolen kisses against lockers, his hand kneading her waist as he whispered every single thing he adored about her.

✈︎ － It was the furthest thing from ethical, getting into a relationship during the time he did, and if you asked him what he thought about it now, he would’ve said it was incredibly selfish. His relationship with her was rocky, arguments about meaningless things occurring regularly between the two, his life being swamped with unfortunate events as he simultaneously struggled with his mental health. But did he regret it one bit? Not at fucking all.

☽－ “I’ll make sure to call every single day,” He breathed against her neck, voice muffled as he held back his own tears. He knew he needed to stay strong, for her. If not for that, for the sake of having to explain why his eyes were so red when his brothers got home. Matt felt the fabric of his sweatshirt ball, the edges of her nails pressing into his shoulders his as she fisted the fabric in her hands. “You’ll forget about me.” The girl uttered meekly aside his ear, breathing in the scent of the musky aroma coming from him. She knew it all too well.

✈︎ －Matt felt his heart shatter into a million pieces, stabbing his insides as the follicles fell from his chest. “Forget you?” He whispered, two hands instantly cupping her cheeks as he pulled away an inch. “how could I ever forget you, my poor girl.” The last part was mostly said to himself, coming out as a breeze of words as he pressed his lips to hers. It was far more than the usual kisses the couple shared throughout the day. She felt it, inside and out. Heart exploding whilst simultaneously breaking into halves as she realized it would be the last for many months.

☽－Saltiness from both of their tears combined mixed together in their mouths, the sweetness from her almond-like lip mask stirring around his tongue as he pulled her impossibly closer. Strands of the girl’s hair getting caught between his fingers as ran the hand down her cheek, index finger running along the curve of her jaw while tipping her chin up. Her lips, they felt like they were meant for his. The words ‘I love you’ went unspoken between the two, but not unknown.

✈︎ －Matt’s nose grazed her’s as he panted against her soft lips, much to his reluctance pulling away as he looked into the abyss of her eyes, feeling the love radiating through her heart just from the heartbreaking glint they held. “I could forget everything ten times over,” he whispered, tilting his head down at her. “But I could never forget that look.” Never, never, never. “and it’d take me back to you every, single, time.”

𝒯𝒶𝑔𝓈 － @fratbrochrisgf ♥︎

[yangsharperavery]

my carmy/sydney related thoughts on season 2

i think when digesting this show, it's done more easily when we see who carmy and sydney are as people and how they bring that beingness to their dynamic.

it's interesting to see the takes from people who are troubled by what they saw in this season in terms of their relationship.

i personally thought there was so much fascinating groundwork that was laid.

we knew when molly gordon was cast they were likely trying to introduce a love interest for carmy.

i was not shocked, i was not surprised. i literally expected it.

doesn't mean i wasn't rolling my eyes but i was well aware of what function she would play within the narrative.

but the writing is so sharp that there are a million subtle elements of carmy's character, and what we know about him up to this point, including what was illuminated by the christmas episode.

let's first talk about carmy's choices and behavior where it relates to claire vs sydney and the restaurant.

we know that carmy is awkward, isn't incredibly relationally experienced and has sacrificed everything for his career and specific level of skill.

he'd just been ruminating on expanding his experiences as expressed in the al-anon meeting.

we know this man is intensely grief-stricken and also that he's battling his own mental health.

we also know he's literally been bred from chaos and emotional tumult.

even him not going to his own brother's funeral makes so much sense after that christmas episode.

he couldn't stand to witness what that type of grief had done to his already deteriorating mother.

so he's trying to conceptualize fun.

notice he wasn't trying to conceptualize love or relationships or a partner.

it was literally presented and integrated as fun.

so he runs into this girl he used to a have a crush on and even then, he's not sold because he knows himself, he knows his priorities, his propensities toward self sabotage, etc so he gives her a wrong number.

yet she persists.

so to me, this may seem like a sign to him to give this a chance, do some exterior exploration of something outside of the kitchen and outside of his career and outside of his own neurosis.

so he's just going with the flow. trying to be "normal". not really knowing the content or context of anything. another reason why he wasn't even calling claire his girlfriend.

claire even brings up the fact that they'd hung out so much but didn't actually talk.

which is SPOT on because the audience only actually ever sees them talking about their careers or what they were like as kids/teenagers.

but you know who carmy DOES talk to? hmm, more on that later.

so claire is symbolic of this thing that was pleasant when he was younger, when he was less of this grown conglomerate of anxiety and disarray and sorrow. a part of him that's separate from all of his current worry and fixations and dysregulation.

him saying he loves her so much and that he thinks she's so great actually rings hollow because we, the audience, didn't actually get to see when and where that level of specific emotion or intensity occurred.

so off rip i don't believe him. i don't think about it in the context of if or when he and sydney explore anything, because it feels patently untrue to me.

and completely separate from sydney.

it's not earned. it's not rooted. it's not tacitly valid.

it's fine. it's a good time. it's some laughs and conversation and sex and a nice, normal person he has fond, nostalgic memories of.

and i think it's written that way on purpose!

so him professing this to other people feels like this way to continue digging a hole of his own distraction, his absence, his lack of attention to detail.

i completely understand the frustration that many feel about interpreting this like carmy was essentially choosing claire over sydney.

carmy was trying to have an unfamiliar and different experience and didn't have the depth perception, the self awareness and the internal regulation to recognize he was doing it to the detriment of something so deeply and irrevocably important to him.

as soon as sydney brought it up, he got defensive but then moments later recognized his errors and apologized.

she told him she didn't want to share his attention.

he told her she was absolutely correct and that she deserved his full focus.

what's fascinating about this part is they aren't even explicitly talking about the restaurant.

she says "me" and "i", he says "you".

uh. wow.

now even in the context of JUST the restaurant this is saying ALOT here.

him instantly apologizing and agreeing with her requests means a substantial amount.

carmy isn't an ass because he stood sydney up for the palate cleanser. or even because he went absent when he shouldn't have.

carmy is deeply troubled and wounded and suffering and he was grappling for something else to feel or do or think about besides what he's ALWAYS thought about and done and fixated on.

that's why he's unreliable, that's why he's haphazard and emotionally or energetically messy. he's coping.

that's why he knows he makes mistakes all the time. because he feels like he's a screwup in a lot of specific ways in his life so he's used to it.

he's not being malicious or cruel or even unkind to sydney.

and this isn't an excuse. it's a reason. it's what all the information we have about him up to this point is providing us.

and yes, his timing is godawful.

but he trusts this person so implicitly because he knows how talented and capable she is.

carmy does not know HOW to be a partner, of any kind. where would he have learned that? where would that have been modeled for him?

"this is what you wanted originally and i'm giving it to you."

so let's transpose the way carmy and claire are presented with how carmy and sydney are together.

he literally can't WAIT to hear what sydney has to say. about literally anything.

at any given time.

"say more please."

all he wants to do is listen to her talk. he wants to know everything about her. the personal stuff too, almost especially.

he listens to her so closely. in the first or second episode she loses her train of thought and he repeats everything she just said.

i don't even think it was restaurant related.

he brings up her mother not once, but twice.

he feels like he should have known that sydney lost her.

he wants to pour into and believe in her because he does. he already does.

he's ready to apologize to her because he knows what a mess he can be and often is.

he knows what his anger can do. he knows how he was conditioned and raised in the industry and he doesn't want that at all for her, least of all from him.

especially after she walked out last season.

he's hyperaware of it. he calms down instantly both times she does the sign for sorry that HE taught her.

he has this propulsion to NEED to know what's happening with her in the very moment something occurs.

he did it last season when she quit on the spot and he kept trying to talk to her when she was leaving.

he did it this season when she was frustrated and trying to say goodnight after carmy was actively telling everyone goodnight and to go home, yet he tried to talk to her when she was leaving.

"what?"

"i'm saying goodnight."

he was repeatedly ushering everyone out but because of the look on her face, carmy's like wait, "what's that about, what's happening?"

he can't stand it!

same with them outside last season when he brought her food and asked what was wrong.

if something is up with her, he reacts immediately.

if she's peeved, he wants to know why right away, he wants to know what to do to make it better, how to approach it, what to say, he goes out in search of that information in the moment it's happening.

sydney is his soft place.

he feels very anchored and tethered to her and i believe she feels the same with him.

sydney is his respite. his peace. the thought of her literally calms and stills him.

her being energetically seats him.

we saw it penetrate his seismic and consistent panic in real time.

that was clearly displayed for all of us to witness.

he doesn't want to be cruel or unkind or anything other than present and communicative with her.

i'd venture to say he actually doesn't want anything more than that, besides maybe the restaurant to succeed.

now sydney is in her "i have something to prove" era.

she is so driven and so determined but she's also a realist and is inundated and surrounded by all this proof that what she's doing may be foolhardy.

at the very least, it's incredibly risky. it's a jump.

and someone deeply ambitious and creative and tuned in and focused like sydney has such fear of failure.

because she knows what it often means for someone like her.

that's why she overextends herself so continuously.

she's often had to and she thinks it gets her closer to the opposite of failure.

she was not only aware of the gaps carmy's absence was leaving but also planning this tasting menu with a MILLION things on it because something was gonna be the star because it MUST.

and i think the carmy absence flares a bit of abandonment as well, like he's left her in a lurch.

she has feelings about that.

she finds out why he did, and TRIES not to have feelings about that.

that's confusing and she's already beyond stressed out so she tries to stuff it.

her success is so tied to her identity because she's worked so hard to get where she is and still feels like she's not where she wants to be.

so she wrestles with worthiness and worry and the financial climate of affability for restaurants. she's riddled with what if she can't hack it?

she has evidence of that being true in the past.

she has evidence of her past failures and those are what keep her up at night, not the infinite possibilities of her future successes.

and that's also why she picked carmy.

because she was always going to pick the best.

she was always going to follow the career and moves of the standout in the industry.

of the person that made the best meal she's ever had.

so if he's anal retentive or jumpy or doesn't call about changing the structural elements of their restaurant while it's happening, she deals with it because she picked him.

she chose him. and then he chose her.

(and then she lightweight chose him again when she came back)

so that's why when they're talking he so often checks in by looking her in the face, scanning her expression. he instantly picks up on something being off or wrong or him being "shitty".

or why when they're under a damn table, despite being peeved or annoyed with his disappearing acts, she lets out the most vulnerable, softest admissions about the perceived necessity of her contribution and future failure.

or why he responds with "i couldn't do it without you" so instantly, so rapidly, it's like it's etched in him. that's the quickest response he'd given to anything she said to him the entire season, she barely got the words fully out before he was verbally soothing her.

then he STAMPS this by saying "i wouldn't WANT to do this without you."

there was such an unexpectedly, viscerally aching quality to that exchange.

it's honestly searing.

i'm sorry are these wedding vows or are we talking about opening a damn restaurant?

or the way he says "you love taking care of people" to her when she talks about making sugar food.

that's also a stellar mirrored moment because i've seen a few people, i believe @eatandsleepwell is one, talk a lot about how that's one of carmy's main drivers and internal tenants.

they see so much of themselves in each other.

the buried parts, the unknown parts, the odd parts.

the parts they wanna work on. the parts they wanna exalt.

they are so similar. they are also quite different.

they have reflected one another in the narrative since s1 ep1.

they exist so flawlessly within the others interstices.

she wordlessly hands him pepto for his stomach.

he tells her he won't let her fail.

the pulsing undercurrent of sydney and carmy is pretty fucking palpable.

there's people on social media who weren't convinced or didn't ship them last season that have suddenly completely seen the vision.

whether the writers actually go there or not remains to be seen.

i don't necessarily trust that they will or won't to be honest because i know there are so many moving pieces and variables and factors.

ships get bypassed and messed up all the time.

i don't watch any shows for ship guarantees but i know how writer's rooms work.

i'd venture to bet that at least 1/3 of that room DOES have an interest in seeing something happen between carmy and sydney, (maybe even 1/2).

or at the very least the option to have it explored.

different people write different episodes, the showrunner/creator can scratch or add whatever.

scripts are TIRELESSLY edited and shortened.

yet there is alot that makes the final cut that points to the potent carmy and sydney marrow.

him giving her the captain reigns before they served for the first time, her saying 'let it rip'.

to me, sydney walked into that failing sandwich shop with a mission that day, they locked eyes and immediately fused.

something happened to the both of them in that moment and they largely don't even realize or can adequately reckon with its magnitude yet.

[xx3bvvx]

For me, the most complex character in TCF is Lee Soo Hyuk, bro. We barely know anything about him. From the little we do know, he remains a mystery. All we know about him is:

Cunning man

Vicious man [like everyone in this novel]

Kim Rok Soo's scamming teacher

A person who can discuss death without displaying emotions, even if it saddens him.

A dependable hyung and leader.

A person who would choose to die instead of seeing one of his team die.

He always appears to be tired.

Loves Rok Soo, Jung Soo, and his team

He is incredibly handsome.

He laughs about everything he thinks is funny.(?)

He always keeps his promises.

He aspired to become an action star, but after the apocalypse, he desired to become a farmer.

He was a famous figure in post-apocalyptic Korea.

He possesses a strong sense of justice.

A man who cares greatly for his subordinates and those close to him.

has such low self-esteem

He is very nostalgic about the peaceful days.

He imprinted on Rok Soo.

The most unbelievable thing for me is that he used to be a jobless slacker before the apocalypse.

I can't attribute all of these characteristics to just one person. I want to learn more about this man because, even with the little information we have, I've kind of grown attached to this character. Maybe Cale's feelings influenced me, LOL.

[bartoszsims3]

THE GRAND FINALE OF BC – BRUCE'S FINAL DECISION!

After weeks of challenges, dates, intense flirting, and unforgettable moments, the Bachelor Challenge has reached its grand finale! There have been lots of laughs, surprises, unexpected connections, and now Bruce must make the toughest decision of all—choosing who he wants to continue his journey with outside the house.

☀️ The day started with a bittersweet feeling. Bruce woke up early, looked around at the house that had been the stage for so many emotions, and prepared a special breakfast for the four finalists. Between sips of coffee and glances filled with unspoken words, they reminisced about the most memorable moments of the season—the crazy challenges, the unforgettable dates, the rivalries, the stolen kisses, the unexpected alliances, and, of course, the steamy nights in the Bear Cabin. And yes, Andy is trying a new haircut, Jhon helped him bleach his hair last night.

💦 The day carried on with a lighthearted, nostalgic vibe. With no challenges or solo dates, the finalists enjoyed their last day together as if it were a grand farewell.Laurence was missed, but everyone knew this was the final stretch—soon, one of them would leave with Bruce by his side.

🌅 And then, the moment arrived.

Bruce gathered the four finalists in the garden. He took a deep breath before beginning his speech.

🌹 BRUCE'S FINAL SPEECH TO EACH FINALIST

Vincent

"From the start, you surprised me. I loved your intelligence, your sensitivity, and that mysterious side of you that always made me want to know more. You played your cards at the right moments, and I admire that. Our connection grew slowly, and I often found myself wanting to understand what was going on in your head… and in your heart. You’re an incredible guy, and anyone would be lucky to have you by their side. No matter what happens today, I hope you always stay true to yourself, with all your layers and undeniable charm." Jhon

"Jhon, man, what a journey, huh? From the beginning, you brought an energy that was light, fun, and full of life. Always up for an adventure, always ready for a spontaneous moment or a caring gesture. I feel comfortable with you, and I know that any day spent by your side would be filled with laughter and unforgettable memories. Our dance in the hot air balloon, our moments in the sauna, the silent looks that said everything… it was all special. You're someone who knows how to win hearts but also knows how to take care of them. I’m grateful to have gotten to know you so closely."

Belphogor

"Belph, I don’t even know where to start. You are intense, passionate, and straightforward. From the very first flirt to the steamiest moments, you always made it clear that you were here to live this experience to the fullest. You never hid what you felt, and that’s something I deeply admire. I loved every shared glance, every stolen kiss, and every moment of chemistry we had. You bring so much energy and life to any room you walk into, and your presence is impossible to ignore. No matter the outcome today, just know that I will always remember the fire you brought into this journey."

Andy

"Andy… what can I even say about you? You came in quietly, without making a big fuss, but little by little, you became one of the most meaningful presences in this house for me. You have this natural way of calming me, making me laugh effortlessly, and making me feel like I can just be myself around you. Our connection wasn't explosive, but it grew in a way that made me realize… you’re the one I want to be with. You’ve always been there for me, supported me, shared incredible moments with me, and made me feel something real. You are my choice."

🏆 ANDY WINS THE BC! 🎉🔥

At that moment, Bruce walked over to Andy, took his hands, and confessed his feelings in the most sincere way possible. The group applauded, and even though there were mixed emotions, the other finalists accepted the decision with grace (and maybe a little jealousy, let's be honest 😏).

🌟 A HEARTFELT THANK YOU! 🌟

And just like that, the Bachelor Challenge has come to an end. What a journey! 💖 From the very first day to this emotional finale, this experience has been one of the most special things I’ve ever done in The Sims.

This was my very first challenge ever, and I had no idea what to expect when I started. I just knew I wanted to create something fun, exciting, and full of drama, romance, and unforgettable moments. But what truly made this journey special was all of you—those who followed, commented, shared your thoughts and encouraged me to keep going even when things got overwhelming. Your patience, support, and enthusiasm kept me motivated every step of the way.

To everyone who joined in, whether you were here since day one or hopped in halfway through, thank you from the bottom of my heart. 💖 Thank you for your kindness, your patience, and for making this whole experience so much more meaningful.

This may be the end of this chapter, but who knows? Maybe another season could be on the horizon… 😏🔥

For now, let’s celebrate the journey, the laughs, the unexpected twists, and of course—our Bachelor and his final choice! 💋✨

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! 🥹💖

[reelvibes91]

5 Worst Movies of 2024

With the year winding down, there are a lot of conversations about what everyone was impressed by or what misfired this year. It is always good to start with the bad news. This means that this year, I will be doing things a little differently. I'm starting off with my least favorite movies of the year before next week, releasing my 10 favorites. Let's dive right in.

5. We Live in Time- Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh had my intrigue meter abuzz when this film was announced. The final product was a jarring mess of time jumps and little to no emotional pay off at all. It never felt like the weight of the situation resonated because just when you wanted something to hit hard the movie cut to the next thing.

4. Trap - So much of this movie was predictable and way too simple of a plot. Hartnett did what he could, but the writing hindered this movie the most. The second half just featured foolish decision after foolish decisions made by the lead character. He was built up during the first half to be sleek and very much under the radar. He did himself by just making the most irrational decision ever.

3. If- Ryan Reynolds just plays PG Kid friendly Deadpool without the suit. This movie was designed to be conceptual to kids, and it did work in that regard. However, the best kids' movies also make adults feel nostalgic or emotional. This one accomplished neither of those things and generally felt off right from the beginning. It felt very much like all they had to do was give us cool looking characters and make Ryan Reynolds cynical, and that would be enough. That has worn incredibly thin over the years.

2. Don't Move- Netflix really thought this was something special, but it was a steaming pile of trash. It was not at all a good movie. The premise was very easy to follow but like too many movies it was convenient until no longer required. The acting was bland, and the scenes were repetitive. There were zero stakes as well because by the time anything happened, you just truly wanted your Netflix subscription payment back for the month. Had this been a cinematic release there is a very good chance many people would have just abandoned this and snuck into something else.

1. Deadpool and Wolverine- This is definitely not the popular opinion on this movie. It just sucked the life out of me. The humor was bland. Ryan Reynolds did not work for me as he has in the prior two. Every joke was just Deadpool saying the most obscene things imaginable and Wolverine telling him to shut his mouth. Insert scenes of violence in between that mostly looked jarringly awful from a CGI standpoint. Especially the fight sequence in the van. It was horribly shot and executed.

[bangchansrose]

nobody asked but these are my favorite poolverine works on ao3

Until you get sick of me, honestly

by @3koboldsinahoodie

Absolute gem - the author has designed a plot that is a rollercoaster of emotions worth every second spent reading. Heavily Lana del Rey coded in the most beautiful and heartbreaking ways. Incredibly domestic Poolverine post-movie where they work through their respective trauma while their relationship evolves. Immediately hooked and continue to be.

i’m just a human trying to avoid my certain doom (that is falling in love with you)

by @dazecorr

The perfect AU fic - the author uses scenic imagery to illustrate the depth of the connection that develops between two strangers while on a cross-country road trip. Quite a refreshing change of pace with neither having their mutations. Logan is a tattoo artist, a profession I hadn't encountered in fics before but suited him well in the context. The whole journey feels nostalgic; you're along for the ride and feel immersed in the story. Read this one in a single sitting.

[year2000electronics]

And of course Super Paper Mario and 4. Convince me to give this game another try perhaps :]

4. …why you should choose to check out the world of this story and choose three gifs that should underline my point.

NOTE: i will be forgoing the GIF part and using pictures instead because every single GIF search result has been clogged up with mouth-breathers on the internet who have been arguing over whether SPM is good or bad and have been doing it in GIF form for years. don't believe me? search "super paper mario" on discord's gif search. you'll see it. you always see it.

oh jesus. see the thing about liking super paper mario is that there's a lot of SPM fans out there who really like the game but can't really connect a very important dot as to Why they like the game. (HINT: THEY PLAYED IT WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG AND ARE NOSTALGIC FOR IT SO THE FLAWS IT HAS IS WAY LESS FOR THEM, AND BY PROXY, ME.) IM self aware. i will never be able to hate the game, but i am incredibly aware that the gameplay can be fairly lacking sometimes. if the story doesnt already grip you, it probably wont ever be worth it to go through the gameplay. thats my bit. thats my piece.

(but then youll have people who see how SPM defenders dont like to critique it when it deserves to be critiqued and start going after stuff like "oh the story isnt even that good"? MAN WHY DID YOU BRING THE STORY INTO THIS.)

but i digress. the life of a paper mario fan is a long and hard one.

POINT THE FIRST. MARIO'S "EXPERIMENTAL" ERA.

you can argue that ttyd also fits this bill, and i think it does, but this is about SPM so im focusing on that. if the mario series has never really Gripped you or you havent really been a lifelong fan, i always think the gamecube-wii era of mario has been one of its more interesting moments. the switch renaissance has allowed a breath of creativity to come back into mario, and mario's allowed to be Weird again, but gamecube-wii mario is weird in a really SCUFFED way and i love it. the gamecube's flagship mario game was a LUIGI game where he cant even jump. super paper mario came out before mario galaxy or NSMBwii. that was our mario rep on the wii for a while. mario games get a little crazy, a little weird here. and so what you get is a more melancholic story about the end of all worlds, and exploring what it really means to be a hero, and the closest many games will get to acknowledging that the mario characters can have emotions that arent Perfect. its just such a fascinating era for such a perfectly-marketable franchise and i adore it. it's a testament to what mario can Be, for me. Mario Is Weird. say it with me now!

POINT THE SECOND. GOODBYE TO A WORLD.

i just really like the theme of All Worlds Coming To An End. usually in these sort of things, it's "save the world so the world doesnt end!" but in this game, it really feels like "the world is ending and you have to fight even to have a chance to succeed". it colours the tone of the game in such a fantastic way. many songs in the OST have a ticking clock in them. the inescapable void is even in the hub world. it's like the majora's mask of paper mario. many people talk this up but the fact that in chapter 6, you're beholden to the traditions of a silly king who REFUSES to believe the world is ending even when HIS ENTIRE SKY IS PURPLE, and youre trying so hard to beat this 100-man duel faster and faster, only for the world to end and then youre forced to go back into the chapter and see this GRAVEYARD. it makes it so much more tangible. THIS is what will happen if you fail. and this overhanging melancholy paints the themes of love so much stronger. it's not just a love story, it's a love story in adversity. love conquers all, but what is the "all" in question? well, this. bleakness. sometimes the bleakness is part of the love. sometimes you make a sacrifice in the name of love, and nobody likes it, but you know it must be. the whole game is actually a love story between bleck and tippi and it just grips me so. it's such a multi-faceted depiction of love and loss that it feels so much more real to me, that love isn't always the Magical Solution. love is a sword, a shield, a prayer, a wish, a curse, a blessing, an order, an act of cowardice, an act of bravery, a sacrifice.

(you see what i mean? i can literally only be talking like this because i grew up with this stupid ass game)

POINT THE THIRD. FUCK ALL THAT THOUGH LET'S TALK ABOUT THE BLECK MINIONS.

so, the whole kind of crux of this game is that it's a love story between bleck, the main antagonist, and tippi, your companion, right. if you can't flesh both of them out you're in a bad way. obviously for tippi, she's hanging around you all the time, and you get to hear her journey play out throughout the entire game. BUT WHAT OF BLECK? HE'S HIDING IN HIS CASTLE! how are we supposed to know more about him and learn his story if he is IN HIS CASTLE? well that's why after every chapter, there's this interlude where we CHECK UP ON THE BAD GUYS.

i blame this game entirely for my love of villains. this gang of baddies has so much quirks and personality that i find it hard NOT to love them. they're not just gormless minions of the count- each shows their own personality in their relationship with him. mimi has a puppy-love crush on him, o'chunks has a sort of warrior's bond with him, nastasia pledges herself to him and almost uses the minions she controls as a conduit for her dedication to him, dimentio is like a cat in a bird store, and mr l clearly isnt supposed to be here but i dont think he knows that. the minions bicker amongst themselves but clearly have a bond of cameraderie because it all feels like teasing of people who've known each other for a long time.

you fight each minion at least twice, and even though the lackluster gameplay kinda comes in full force again, you get to see so much PERSONALITY in these guys. mimi is super-bratty but seems to know most people would see her as a monster so leans into it, dimentio is playful and jovial while also having his own motives, o'chunks is bold and brash but asks you to finish him off the second time he fails, mr. l is cocky to a fault and reeks of insecurity. i just love having these guys we can always check up on. it's like lord crump but MOOOOORE.

and through a combo of you inferring things about these people and some of the Deeper Lore (flopside bar stories), you kinda come to learn that these minions were kinda manipulated by bleck when they were at their lowest. mimi is a failed creation of SOMETHING. o'chunks' men all died because there was a traitor in his midst. nastasia was saved from a cage by bleck. and the more you learn about bleck the more you see that he is a man grieving the woman he loved, apathetically trying to end all worlds so the pain would end. he lies to the minion, he says he aims to make perfect new worlds, and they believe him, and they love him, because he saved them.

this sort of birth of a relationship through bleck's pain and manipulation comes through by the end, as the love the minions have for bleck is a KEY part of the final act. and idk it's a bunch of deeply-hurting misfits binding together and accidentally finding love in a world they found loveless. i think thats really cool. i think THEYRE really cool. such an awesome cast of villains.

but yknow. again. this is my childhood game. the special feeling i have for it can't really just be put into words. it's my diamond in the rough and nothing can really change that. it's Home.

[bisnes-socks]

don't mind me, below the cut is just me trying to somehow verbalise how much i love mesto duhov on a molecular and also astral levels and also trying my best to not actually cry about it.

i'm going to start with a weird tangent but.

back in the early days of covid i talked with a friend of mine how the panic around us made us, as deeply anxious people, feel more balanced somehow. she was in france, i was in finland, but the experience was the same: the anxiety in the world suddenly matched the anxiety inside us. it was somehow a new exeprience, to feel at balance, even if the reason for it was not so good.

but this, this song, is a good reason to feel at balance, and good god, that's exactly what this song does to me. i don't know how they made a song that matches something in my soul, but they did. and the reason why i started off with a weird covid tangent is because there is incredible pain in this song that matches something in the feeling of being alive to me. and to have it turned into music and played back to me is a moment of balance unlike any other, because suddenly feeling the things you feel don't make you so unbelievably lonely anymore.

there are other songs in the world that sound and feel like they vibrate in the exact same frequency as my soul, but i haven't discovered a new one in years. but mesto duhov is exactly that.

i don't usually go into joker out lyrics because i don't speak slovene or serbian, and so i leave analysing them to those who do. but this time i just want to say, that i looked up translations and not only does the music vibrate on the frequency of my soul, the lyrics are exactly what i've been feeling, what i've been witnessing, and what i've been working with for a while now. i don't want to go too much into my personal life on tumblr dot com, but the disappearance of imagination, of life, of joy, of things worth living for, are something that i've been working with on every level of my life this year, both on a personal and professional level.

this song is just this exact moment in my life right now. this is it. and it feels so oddly calming to me. because it feels like someone else sees it too.

and it's strange because once again, they have written a song that feels like i've heard it before, but i haven't. i'd know if i had ever heard anything like it, but i haven't. of course i hear the influences, but they feel irrelevant to me with this one. it's like there are moments in the song that almost take me back to like idk 2010 or something, but the nostalgia never gets a hold of me, it doesn't stick. it's almost nostalgic but it isn't, because this is now. it just feels like, when the song comes on, it's just....right. yes, that's the one, that's the song, that's the feeling, this is right.

the contrast between the agony of the verses and the resigned serenity of the pa pa pa pa paa... it's balance, it's right, it's real. it's also brilliant composing and songwriting. this song is so interesting, so captivating, so memorable. it goes from one feeling to another in a way that is striking but makes sense. 

they introduce the intesity of the verses straight off the bat, and then the quieting down and subsequent sudden stop with "pod nogami se trese / zapihal je veter, da vse nas odnese" is actually something quite familiar from rock music - you know to expect something different for the chorus. but you do not know to expect what actually happens, like it's a different song suddenly. and then they build back up to the intensity of the verses with great skill and attention to details and vibes.

the melody in "mimo mene lebdijo sami žalostni ljudje / nazaj v nostalgijo včerajšnjega dne" has to be one of the most beautiful melodies i've heard. something about it feels very familiar, very home-like, just again, very right. but it also makes me instantly emotional, even before i ever read a translation for the lyrics. just the melody alone. and bojan's vocal performance, which is absolutely top tier through the entire song. his ability to convey emotion really comes through with this one, and i'm in awe of him for it.

the instrumentation in the song is just brilliant.  the pa pa pa pa pa section is made up of sounds that bring childrens music into mind, it's full of whimsical and fun sounds, that in this context feel incredibly bittersweet and quite sad. the different guitar sounds and effects in the song, for example the sound that opens the song vs. the solo sound, bring amazing versatility and depth to the straight forward intensity of the verses. the drums portray the frustration and pent-up energy caused by the themes. the bass sound almost cocoons all of it into one and almost makes this song a physical place to exist in.

it's all brilliance from beginning to end. except once again, i wish the song went on much longer, and i miss it as soon as it begins to fade.

and i'm usually not one to loop songs. but this one i'd easliy loop all day, all week, all month, all year, my whole life, because somehow this song makes it easier to be, to breathe, to exist and to make peace with existing. 

needless to say it's my favourite track on the album, my song of the year, and quite possibly one of my favourite songs of all time ever.

[godsiero]

long, sappy, emotional roller coaster about my chemical romance incoming, as someone who has a deep emotional connection and love for the black parade is dead and attended wwwy october 19th

if you had told little 12-year-old kinley ‘mychemicalromance’ pletzer (who cried in her bedroom on march 23rd, 2013 over my chemical romance breaking up), that

- at 19, my chemical romance would announce their reunion tour and she would get tickets to see them live

- at 22, they would release new music

- at 24, she would get to relive all of her lonely memories of watching, memorizing, and performing “the black parade is dead,” live from mexico city, in her bedroom all over again, but this time, live, with my chemical romance right in front of her face, along with thousands of other people (who probably did the exact same thing), i think that sad little kid would’ve thought you were making fun of her by joking about something that could never possibly happen in this lifetime.

the black parade is an album that means so much to me and a lot of other people out there on this rock floating through space. it’s a love letter, or a hate speech, whatever mood you’re in, to and about grief. mourning a person, a love, a mindset, a dream, your past self, your present self, your future self, and all of the decisions you did or did not make that led you to your grave. it’s heavy, it’s dark, it’s sad, it’s emotional, it’s haunting, it’s painful, and it hurts to listen to.

sometimes.

other times, it’s a lot of fun and an incredible masterclass on storytelling and creativity, which is probably the best reason i can think of as to why i give such a shit about this goofy band! it’s hopeful, it’s nostalgic, it’s reminiscent, it’s beautiful, it’s thoughtful, it’s loving, and it fills you with a comfort that is not unlike a hug from your favorite person.

it is filled with uncertainty and it is filled with pride. it is so heartbreaking and devastating to experience from front to back, time and time again, but i will come back to it, always. this album just graduated high school, it’s time for it to go off and see the world and make a name for itself, can you believe it? all that time spent being replayed and revisited by a bunch of sad, lonely, heartbroken kids, who didn’t know if they would ever see tomorrow, but did. maybe some of those kids didn’t see tomorrow, but this was there for them.

there are so many people i share my love for this album and this band with, and a fraction of them were there last night. i am so so grateful to have made it to this year, in this life, with this band and it’s fans, who are nothing, if not persistent and loyal. i have never felt more seen and understood by anybody more than i do by my chemical romance, and i know that sounds stupid and cliche and parasocial, but it’s true. i said this in 2022, but they have been there for me when nobody else was, when i didn’t think i would see tomorrow, when i was sad, when i was happy, when i was lonely, when i was angry, and when i just wanted to feel loved, they were there. this may not make sense to a lot of people, but they are my best friends, my brothers, my dads, my soulmates. in order to love and know me, one must, inevitably, know them, too, and that fills me with an incredible joy that has been blooming for 13 years. those 13 years have been up and down, left and right, my highest highs, my lowest lows, and everything in between, but they’ve always been there and they will continue to be there long after they’ve gone for good.

i just want to look this kid in the eyes and tell them everything will be okay. not perfect, not even great, but okay. you get through all of the bad stuff all by yourself, with no guidance at all, and i’m sorry about that, but i am so proud of you. you’re such a strong kid. you’re so much more than that, but that’s the most important part of you. i’m here for you, now, little kinley. 24-year-old, grown adult kinley does everything in their power to make you happy. you never quit this band and you will love them with the same passion and fire forever. you never let the other kids making fun of you for liking the scary music get to you. the one sparkle you never lost was this one. they’re gonna come back and you even get to see them. TWICE! something you probably never imagined, i’m sure. i love you so much, kid. i’m sorry it took me so long to figure out. you’re my everything <3

[lyricalnonsens3]

Assigning piano classical pieces to the doctor (1-13, because I barely know 14 /15)

because my music knowledge should be used for SOMETHING. i'm also going to avoid REALLY over-saturated in the media pieces. so no fur elise, no moonlight sonata, nope nope nope. overthought, losing my head by the end, could be expanded into a full essay. maybe... one day...

1st - "Un Sospiro" - Lizst - It's a generally peaceful, nostalgic sounding piece, yet simultaneously incredibly complex, and I think it fits the first Doctor quite well. I like Rousseau's performance of it!

2nd - "Butterfly Etude" - Chopin - It's a playful sounding piece, which sounds pretty cheerful to me :). It's light and short. I like this recording of it!

3rd - "Tempest" - Beethoven - It's on the serious side, with moments that sound light, and the storm reference meant I was absolutely GOING to give Tempest to one of the incarnations. Perhaps 3 is an odd choice, but, heres a link anyway!

4th - "Pathetique" - Beethoven - Yes, the entire thing. I think the length is interesting in the perspective of 4 (being one of the longest runs) and I think it just fits. the logic is not here ok. im spending too long on this. ahm. link :)

5th - "Liebesleid" - Kreisler (arr. Rachmaninoff)- Just a beautiful piece, off the bat, but also, I think it fits the ever-growing melancholic 5th, and yet, can be interpreted as a happy piece, but also sad, and is filled with lovely complex emotions, which does start to happen around now. Link

6th - "Little Red Riding Hood" - Rachmaninoff - Just realising all of this list are like.. virtuoso pieces, but, oh well. 6 is usually interpreted as angry / irritable, at least from what I've seen, so of course we need a piece to match. There are "light-hearted" -ish parts to this too, and the unpredictable nature of it definitely fits. listen to it!!

7th - "Prelude and Fugue No.2" - Bach - I had already decided on Bach long before I decided on WHICH Bach piece/pieces. That's because on a technical level, Bach generally is technically very advanced, with little focus on the emotive value of the piece, which felt befitting for the whole chessmaster schtick of 7. Listen! (or don't, theres hours of classical music in this post, probably. Sorry </3)

8th - "Scherzo No.2" - Chopin - yes it's kind of a joke on the audiodrama with the same title, but also, not! It's long, just like 4's pick, but it's dramatic, with a mix of emotions and conveyed stories within it, which I think really is the reason it fits. Eight has a LOT. There are happy parts of this piece, but also parts that are... well, NOT happy. Have a listen!

War Doctor - "Revolutionary Etude" - Chopin - i was going to skip but like. it's RIGHT there. link! also my computer is starting to fry erm...

9th - "In Der Nacht" - Robert Schumann - This piece I think can been interpreted to capture the mix of guilt and anger the 9th doctor has always felt to have when I watch him. And here's your link!

10th - "Erlkönig" - Schubert (arr. Lizst) - Knowing the story behind this piece (originally intended for Violins, I believe,) does help, but otherwise, it's just the piece. I think it speaks for itself, tbh. Link! Also take time to check out the original piece, and not the piano arrangement! Or don't. If you are clicking all those links, I apologise. Or don't.

11th - "Oblivion" - Piazzolla - Possible the most melancholic piece on the list, and I think it's well earned by 11. Oblivion, if I recall correctly, is portugese for forgetting or something. Either way, it's very representative of the sadness implied throughout 11, as well as indicative of the complex negativity hidden behind the happy facade. Oh, I do think about this show far too much. Link!

12th - "Modéré" - Ravel - An elegant, calming piece, which sounds far more at ease with itself than most. Link!

13th - "Raindrop Prelude" - Chopin - This piece has SUCH a range of emotions, and it just feels so fitting for 13. yes. ok. link.

i hope you found your new favourite classical piece. also can you tell i love chopin from this? my friend once said they would worship him and i was like real.

Also if you reblog / say in tags what you would pick for what Doctor's I will read. I will (hopefully) do this for other characters / companions.