#i cant shut it off i cant stop being emotional about things

[kodocell]

.

[punkkture]

how i view simon riley

for a second, let’s just forget everything about him that actually is true and let me lie . . .

simon riley is 6’5” and is chubby with hella muscle underneath. hes got a lot of tattoos covering his arms and hands, and one on his torso thats battered with scars. i like to think he has dark brown hair, its just my type okay? his eyelashes are sooo long and his hands are always washed, he hates having dirty hands.

simon is a good leader, he kind of has to be. he is an amazing man when it comes to his job and his teammates, but when he gets home, thats the only chance he has to just let go. there isnt some persona he has to put on when hes home. his temper gets the best of him sometimes and hes lwk toxic asf.

“baby c’mon you know i didnt mean to, ‘m sorry” — “dont be dumb sweetie you know im busy right now, go somewhere else and leave me alone” — “stop acting like this, im tired of you right now”

but he will always come to bed with you. always kiss you goodnight. always fixes the covers back over you when he gets up in the morning. its not his fault that he just has some anger issues he never got over when he was a kid. simon is either a big teddy bear or a stone wall. hes hard to read on most days but his tone will always give it away. mf has an awful tone problem when hes having a bad day. simon’s words are often harsh when hes having a bad day but his physical nature says the complete opposite.

“just shut up baby, you sound so stupid” he’d groan at you, but at the same time he’d pull you closer into him, kneading your soft skin in his hands gently. as if he is always apologizing after every mean phrase that comes out from those parted lips. and when that hurt whine comes from your lips hes already ‘shh’-ing you and rubbing your side.

my simon riley is infatuated with his sweetheart being all dolled up and dumbed down. he loves himself a stupid dumb girl that just cant do anything by herself. of course he knows hes needed for work, but simon has never felt needed outside of his job title. even if he’d never admit it without some emotional talks, he could cry over the fact that you need him. that something as precious and pure as you needs a man as rough and battered as him. he knows deep down youre not a stupid girl, youre bright and just curious, as he likes to put it. he loves being able to explain simple things to you, loves that you call him because you forget how to turn the oven fan off and how to cut a mango. hes so thankful that hes not needed for life or death situations with you like he constantly is for work.

my simon riley is obsessed with the idea of getting you pregnant. he is a sucker for breeding. when hes left alone in thought he always, without a doubt, thinks about you having his babies and forever being in his life. he just knows you’d be such a good mom. you are the only person he can even picture caring for his own. your sweet and kind nature on the daily shows how maternal you are and it just makes that soft spot in his heart swell and get bigger every time he pictures it. hes also smitten with your waist line. oh god dont even get the man started on your back dimples and the curves of your hips. simon’s lips are always on your abdomen and tummy.

“gonna have my babies in here one day sweetie, youre gonna look so pretty all knocked up” he mumbles in between warm open-mouth kisses right under your belly button. his heavy fingers digging into the dips of your back as he pulls you inexplicably closer to him.

he really is such a sensitive man under all that scar tissue and bulky muscle. in my head simon is an april taurus sun, pisces moon, and rising gemini. so basically, the taurus in him showcases he has a very rough exterior that is great at displaying leadership and grounding skills, but the pisces on the inside makes him sensitive and he has a lot of emotions, then the gemini in him makes him come across as independent and deceitful at first. i could go on forever about this mans astrology chart.

simon riley who always brags about you to his friends. he’s very careful with talking about you at work though. he would most definitely set the world on fire if anything bad happened to his sweet angel girl. when he’s back from deployment, out at some shitty pub with johnny . . he can’t keep his lips sealed about you.

“i know ‘m gonna marry that girl. i know it, gonna give her my last name and at least four kids . . you wanna know what she made for dinner when i got home from the last deployment?” he rambles to poor soap who just wanted to get out of his apartment.

[thelov3lybookworm]

Cat claws

Day 2: Scarred.

Summary: Maybe he can forgive Nuts.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 1177

Warnings: cat being mean to hazel :(

A/n: azzie just loses his mind in tis lmao nd you cant blame him hazel's the most adorable little thing ever 🥹 yall just wait till she begins talking azs going to sob his eyes out (subtle foreshadowing 🎀)

@azrielappreciationweek

ANYWAY ENJOYYYY 🥳

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Azriel watched, amused, as Hazel attempted to crawl towards the black furry creature that sat in the corner licking its paw.

Hazel had only started crawling a week or so ago, and Azriel absolutely loved watching her drag herself around. It was often amusing to see her get angry when the carpet slowed down her movements when it caught on her clothes, or when she bumped into the couch and glared at it.

She would always turn to search for Azriel when that happened, letting out the loudest yell her tiny body could muster as if ordering him to get rid of the offending item.

Even barely eight months old, Y/n always said Hazel had her father’s ability to glare and grumble.

Azriel always scoffed in return to that statement before forcing himself to stop and realise him being grumpy only proved his mate’s words to be true.

Hazel was currently looking at her father with her brows furrowed, and Azriel blinked, coming back to the present as he realised she was trying to move over the carpet. He grinned at the anger on her face and stood, bending down once he was close enough to pick her up.

He set her down closer to the cat Y/n had insisted on getting after Hazel’s birth, her reasoning being that their daughter needed a friend and then named him Nuts.

Hazel and her best friend Nuts.

‘Get it? Hazel-Nuts’ She had giggled.

It made Azriel laugh back when she had suggested it, but soon enough he’d realised she was not joking. At all.

Azriel watched on with a smile as Hazel reached Nuts and tried to grab his fur. Nuts walked away without a look in her direction, which always pissed Azriel off. Who did the creature think it was?

"Azriel, that’s a cat. He does not understand how to act with a baby-" Y/n called out from the kitchen, having peeked into the living room to see what had caused her mate to get so mad that his emotions reached her through the bond.

"Well how long does it take to learn? I swear to the mother one day I'm kicking him out if he continues to bully my daughter."

Azriel heard Y/n sigh and walk closer to him as Hazel crawled towards Nut again. He now sat closer to the hearth, where a fire burned red to ward off the winter chill that was beginning to set over Velaris.

"Az-"

But Azriel did not hear the rest of Y/n’s sentence.

His ears began ringing as he stepped forward as if in a daze, eyes sharp on the raised paw of Nuts, who, having seen Hazel get close to him again, tried to hit her.

The firelight glinted off his claws.

And then Hazel’s loud cries filled the room as her head reared back, eyes clenched shut in pain.

She had a habit of flopping on her back when she was mad. Azriel had never really worried too much about that particular habit of Hazel’s until now, when she was too close to the fire and the tiniest movement would end up with her-

No, Azriel did not want to complete the thought.

In that moment of panic, Azriel did not care that there was a glass covering separating the fire from the room, and that no matter what Hazel did, she would not be able to be burned.

In that moment all that mattered to Azriel was that the fucking cat living in his house had the audacity to hurt his daughter.

Azriel grabbed Hazel, frantically looking over her to check for her injuries. There weren’t any big claw marks, but the tiny scratch on the chubby flesh of her upper arm connecting it to her shoulder made Azriel see red.

He turned to glare at Y/n as he pulled Haze close.

"I am telling you Y/n. If by the time I return, that bastard is not out of this house, I will drop him into the sidra myself."

Y/n’s eyes were helpless, but Azriel did not wait for a moment longer as he walked out of the main door and took flight, his only mission to find Madja and get his daughter healed.

He did not want her to be scarred like the hands cradling her.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Flying back home, Azriel decided that he needed some time alone to figure out why he had reacted so harshly.

He knew Y/n had been right. Nuts was an animal. He did not understand how to treat babies. But Azriel did not want to admit that.

The stars were out, so clearly visible as Azriel flew his daughter back home. It had been over an hour since he’d left the house in such a hurry, wishing he could strangle the cat.

He had taken to the skies after Madja had assured him that Hazel would be fine, and had his emotions not been so high and panicked, maybe Hazel wouldn’t have cried at all. After long moments of being assured by Madja, Azrie finally calmed down and left.

"I’m sorry baby. Did I scare you?" Azriel mumbled, glancing down at his daughter who stared up at the sky with wide eyes. She only giggled back in answer.

The innocence in the sound made Azriel smile.

The smile faded just as quick as it had come when his eyes fell on his hands cradling her head and back.

They once were soft and smooth like Hazel’s. They once had grabbed his own parents hand with as much love as he now grasped his daughters. Only now, they were uglier.

If Y/n heard his thoughts, she would have yelled at him and forced him to say they were beautiful. But Azriel knew better. They weren’t, and they never would be.

The only thing he liked even a little about his hands was the fact that their texture was so different from other’s hands, Hazel always immediately figured out she was in her father’s arms.

Y/n always talked about how the same scarred hands he despised were the reason she and Hazel felt safe. Those words echoed back to Azriel when he began doubting himself. It always made him feel better.

Hazel squealed loudly when Azriel dipped lower, air pushing gently against her back.

She was so pure, so innocent. She did not even know of the cruel world she was born in.

And Azriel swore to keep it that way. He had hoped the world outside his father’s dungeon would be better, once, and quickly realised that there were people in the world that would pounce at the chance to scar innocent souls just for the sadistic pleasure of ruining their lives.

He did not want her soul to turn out as scarred as his too.

As he finally landed on the front porch of his home and heard loud meow’s coming from inside, he contemplated letting the cat stay.

Maybe a cat’s claw scratch was not that bad.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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[importantstudentbusinessspy-blog]

Reunion - Aftermath

Masterlist

Pairing: Dick Grayson x (f)reader

Tags: slight NSFW, angst, toxic, you cant fix him, smut, grad school, halloween, Dick is the reader's friend's ex's best friend, reunion, oral, penetration, praise, heartbreak, heartbroken reader,

It took some time to get over your initial jealousy after seeing Dick with the girl at the bar. You excused yourself and left your things with your friends, then headed to the bathroom. You held it together surprisingly well, that is until you saw yourself in the mirror and let out a quiet sob.

Damn you. You fell for it again. Visions of that night replayed in your mind. His kind words, the gentleness of his hands on your body, of his lips on your neck, the way his eyes geld yours - it all meant nothing!

You wished you were a like that. Wished you could indulge in intimate activities without being emotionally attached or vulnerable. That you could just have fun and feel nothing the next day.

"Asshole," you cursed under your breath.

Your mascara was smudged at the sides, giving you away despite your attempts to calm your emotions. You ripped a couple of pieces of paper and tried your best to wipe off the tear smudged eyeliner and bring yourself back to normal.

A knock at the door interrupted your thoughts.

You sniffled, calling out, "Just a minute!" And collected your things.

Opening the door, you questioned if the universe was testing you today because you came face to face with the same girl you had just been mentally cursing. She was pretty, dressed in a simple sweater and skinny jeans, tucked into high leather boots. The outfit slapped. It actually mirrored yours, and you almost laughed at the thought that Dick had a type. Speaking of, he was right behind her, his face nuzzled between her ear and her shoulder as the couple giggled to each other.

His gaze registered you, and then a look of surprise took over his face. His smile dropped, and he straightened up, clearing his throat.

You blinked, partly in surprise, partly to clear a fresh wave of tears threatening to spill. Swallowing uncomfortably, you moved out of their way, pressing yourself against the wall in the narrow hallway and trying to escape.

"Honey," the girl took you gently by the wrist. You squeezed your eyes shut at hearing her kind voice. "Are you okay-"

"I'm fine, thanks." You rushed without meeting her gaze. Then you made a mistake. As you walked past Dick, your shoulder nudged his - more aggressively than it needed to, for a random stranger passing by.

You knew your evening was positively ruined. To avoid ruining the mood of your fellow interns, you offered them a made-up excuse about a headache and took your bag on your way out.

"Y/n," the last voice you wanted to hear right now called our behind you.

You didn't turn around, instead holding your eyes closed and sniffling quietly under your breath. "Why, god?"

"Y/n," Dick prompted behind you. "What happened?"

"Oh, shut up." You said, stopping yourself too late.

He paused in front of you, leaning back as if ti assess you. "You're mad at me..." He observed.

Too tired to argue, you took out your phone and checked the bus schedule.

"Why are you mad at me?" He asked.

What a stupid question. You glared up at him from your phone. "Dont you have a face to suck on in there?"

A knowing smile spread across his face, and he shook his head. "I see."

"Good for you." You snapped, murmuring to yourself, "Go after her." You said, feeling your cheeks heat in embarrassment and began walking towards the bus stop, grasping at your coat as you shivered.

"She can wait." He took you by your hand and turned you to face him, nearly dislocating your shoulder in the process. You tore your arm away, only to be backed up against the wall of the bar, caged in by his frame.

You lifted you chin, challenging him with your red eyed gaze. You sneered, "Aren't you worried she'll see us?"

"Not really." Dick gazed back at you with equal challenge. This close you could smell the mix of his skin with his cologne, a painful reminder of how close you let him get to you. "At least she knows the meaning of 'no-strings-attatched'."

"Oh yeah?" You shot back at him "Well at least -" Your shoulders rose and fell as you searched for a retort, only to come up empty-handed. "At least..."

Giving up, you felt your shoulders sag along with your gaze as you let out another sob you'd been holding back. You sniffled, too ashamed to meet his gaze.

Something in him shifted. The vision of you crying? He never saw that, nor had he wanted to see that again.

He let go of you, feeling his own shame rise in his throat. His voice lowered to an apologetic tone. "I'm sorry. That was... uncool. Had i known you would see us... I would never have done anything in front of you."

Shaking your head, you admitted between sniffles, "I wish I was like you."

His brow furrowed. "Why?"

"I wish I could..." He swallowed. "Not get attached."

"I don't... not get attached -" he attempted half heartedly.

"Please," you rolled your eyes, taking out a napkin to wipe them. "I'm still covering up hickeys you left two days ago -" You pulled down your turtleneck to demonstrate "-and you're already shmoozing with someone new."

"I..." He swallowed thickly, studying to purple marks on your neck. Ones he left there. They had even begun to fade. It was like he branded you. But now that brand was disappearing. That image summoned a possessive flash to course through him.

You noticed his expression shift. Nostrils flared as his breathing begame heavy, and his gaze was scorching, you could almost feel where his eyes looked on your neck.

Quickly, you covered back up, putting some distance between the two of you. You didn't know what that look meant, but you knew you were just going to end up sad again. "I have to go,"

"Wait," he said, you stood, waiting for him to speak. "This isn't right."

"What?"

He ran his hand through his hair, the action causing his leather jacket to lift, revealing the gun and handcuffs on the belt of his jeans. Your eyes narrowed. Was he out on the field today? Was that how he ended up in the bar?

"Damn it, y/n," he let out in a quiet frustration. "I dont like this, you being mad at me. Our night was good. It was fun. I didn't ever wanna see you hurt. Please believe me."

"I believe you." You said, grasping at the strap of your back.

He met your gaze, searching.

"I believe you." Air left your mouth in a cloud as you repeated yourself. And you did. Truly. You didn't think his actions were in any way deliberate to hurt you. That was just... the way he was. "I'll see you around."

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

Yeah... he fucked up.

Not in his decision to have sex with you. That was great.

No, what he fucked up in was not picking up on the clues that you were not the kind of girl who had casual sex. The women he usually slept with were all looking for the same as him. No attachment, no feelings, just a good few rounds.

And you had him convinced. How early you got up and got dressed the next day, ready to leave quickly. You didn't even wake him up. So he'd assumed you two were on the same page.

He assumed wrong.

No, he had you all wrong. Back in sophomore year, you'd always carried yourself with nonchalance. You underreacred where others overreacted. You prefered to listen rather than speak. You always appeared so... conservative of your energy. That's what made seeing you cry for the first time, which is much more shocking. Dick felt like he'd ended years of inner peace.

What was worse is that that night when he brought home the girl from the bar, he'd closed his eyes, imagining he was with you he was in bed with.

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

"Hey, I'm not like a... bad person, right?" He asked out loud, eyes wandering off behind his mask as he finished dragging a perps unconscious body to the corner of the hangar.

"Who cares?" His youngest brother, Damian, spoke into his comm unhelpfully. The kid had just started the eighth grade, and his voice began to drop. Sometimes, when he spoke over comms, Dick found himself asking who that was.

"What?" Jason asked behind his own mask a meter from him, kicking the limp body of another henchman.

"Where's this coming from?" Tim asked over the comm. He was currently on lookout on the warehouse roof. "Also, you got two perps coming into the warehouse - no, hold on, one."

"Copy that." Dick nodded. "And for the record, I care, you heard me, and -" Dick put up a gloved finger as he listed his answers, then shrugged. "Just curious."

"Nightwing," Jason sighed in annoyance. "There is nothing you could do that would make you a bad-"

Another henchmen ran in, just to be knocked out with a single punch from Nightwing.

"-person." Jason finished.

But Dick wasn't so sure.

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The morning rain poured against the gym’s windows as Dick landed another punch against the bag, harder than necessary. He gritted his teeth, trying to focus, on his stance, his core, anything except the remnants of that night that kept slipping into his mind.

The memories were relentless. Flashes of you beneath him, the feel of your skin on his hands, the way your breath hitched when he kissed a path along your collarbone - they crept in despite his efforts to shove them away. The warmth, the breathiness of your voice, the way you looked at him like he was more everything to you. He shook his head, forcing himself to snap out of it.

He threw another punch, this time more controlled, as if he could hit the memory right out of himself. But even now, he couldn’t ignore the way his stomach twisted, that irritating rush of excitement mixed with something he didn’t want to name. You’d thrown off his rhythm. All it took was a couple of tears. And he hated it.

Hell, he was Dick Grayson. He was supposed to have his heart compartmentalized by now - no strings, no lingering thoughts. Just one night and done. So why did the thought of you keep pulling at him, driving him back to those damn memories? It wasn’t like him to get distracted. Yet here he was, haunted by the way your lips had felt against his skin, the softness of your touch. Fuck.

A curse slipped from his mouth as he gave the bag one final hit, feeling the pain in his knuckles. He’d have to get over it, right? But no matter how many times he told himself he’d forget you, he knew the way you’d laughed, the way you’d looked at him like he was worth something real, had left its stupid mark.

Yeah, he fucked up.

[iouinotes]

Show-off | Mike Ross

pairing: Mike Ross x female!reader

show: Suits

genre: smut word count: 2,9k

summary: you and your co-worker Mike dont get along very well. But when you have something that he needs, suddenly everything is different.

a/n: Just watched the first two episodes of "Suits" and something about Mike is really attractive-

Working in a well-known office as a lawyer has it's advantages. Such as being respected by business people or being able to afford a lot of things, you spend all your evenings analyzing documents rather than meeting actual people.

Nevertheless, sometimes there are also negative factors. For example, my co-worker Mike, who really believes, that he is with his ridiculously skinny tie and sarcastic humor better than the others. Or right now, better than me.

"God, I cant believe you. Can you behave for once?" I use my fingers to push my hair back in frustration, noticing how my head starts to hurt. Its 10 pm and I'm currently trying to stay calm, though because of one man in particular, my nerves seem to be getting thinner within seconds. Valuable time is wasted that I could spend somewhere else instead of with him.

"Now it's my fault, that you don't have the documents with you? Sorry, I can't help you being organized in your own workplace." His voice irritates me. Everything about him is so frustrating.

"I told you, I didnt get the message! How am I supposed to know, that you need something, when you don't tell me anything about it? Maybe you should stop being so childish and ask me in the first place, instead of running to Rachel!" If our job had nothing to do with justice and we werent literally standing in a law company right now, I would kill him. And then I wouldn't hesitate to go to court and say it was self-defense, because I didnt want to hear any of his miserable excuses anymore.

"So what do you think, I should do? I need these documents for tomorrow. Please, I know you don't like me, but it is really urgent." Why does he has such blue eyes? The look he is going me is even more irritating than his voice.

I sign, exhibit my laptop and try to put the pens back, that are laying all over my desk.

"Okay, fine. As I said, the documents are at home, so-" I don´t even get to finish my sentence.

"Great, so I'll meet you there. And I wont even tell anyone, if your place is a mess." His eyes wander over my messy desk, and even If I don´t like to admit it, it's a bad habit of mine. But, he shouldn't make any assumptions about the neatness in my apartment.

"I hope you loose the documents on your way home." At my words, he grins smugly.

"Well, then I could lie and say you didnt found them anymore and I hadnt had the chance to go through them." He leans towards me.

"I'll run you over with my car." He raises his eyebrows at my threat.

"You sure should do something that makes you smile more often. Is that even something you know how to do?" I show him my middle finger and turn to left my office. When I close the door, I hear the laughter in his voice.

"The next storm should be named after you as quickly as you left the room." He follows after me.

"Can you shut up for once? Oh, I forgot. You don´t last one second being silent. Thats a shame, the world could finally heal." His hand rests on his heart, his features fake a hurt expression.

"Ouch. You really don´t like me that much, huh?" His eyes try to search mine.

"You get on my nerves on purpose every fucking day. Should I thank you for that?" I turn my head to look at him.

"Yes, you should. Your life would be so boring without me." He grins at me again from the side, that typical grimace that is always adorn on his face.

"You wish." When I tell him my address, he raises his eyebrows, but before he can make an unfavorable comment, I get into my car.

Darkness surrounds me and when I see him going away, I lower my head to the steering wheel. He really is the best at confusing my emotions.

~~~~~

I turn off the lights of my car and get out of it, so I can finally make my way to my flat. Its not something special, I mean I have a living room, which is quite big and connected to the kitchen, a bedroom and a bath. But I am very lucky, because I have a small balcony, from which I can watch the stars at night. But I usually only do that when I can't sleep.

So, when I enter my apartment, I let my eyes wander over the manageable mess, I put some clothes back in the closet and the dishes in the washing machine. The place almost looks decent, when I hear the doorbell.

As I open the door, I'm nervous for some reason. I let him in and turn to my office drawers, looking for the document.

"Nice place. You live here alone?" His fingers trace my bookshelf, I see him reading the titles.

"No, my wife is still at work." When I look at him dead serious, I see him laugh in surprise.

"So, you do have humor. I thought, you were one of those exceptions that wouldn't be able to do that." He means it as a joke, but something in my chest hurts.

When I reply with a monotonous voice, I see his eyebrows pull together. "I live here alone. That's what you wanted to hear?" I'm getting more frustrated again with every second he's around me.

"No- I didnt mean it that way. I'm sorry. My intentions were good, I promise." When I look at him for a moment, I see his honest expression.

It would be so easier for me to hate him, if I didnt know, he was a good human. Well, most of the time.

We are silent for a moment, but when I hear his footsteps, I tense up.

"What are you doing?" He's now standing right next to me.

"Helping you. You seem a little, tense?" I glare at him for a moment and he raises his hands in defense.

"Just pointed out the obvious. But dont worry. You still look lovely." I stop in my movements at his words.

"Thats such shock for you?" His voice shows surprise and a certain curiosity.

"Only that you say it." I look into his eyes.

"Well, you may think I'm dumb, but I'm not blind."

He just called me beautiful, sort of. It´s confusing me.

When I finally find the documents, I hold my hand out to him.

"I don´t think you are dumb. I think you're annoying. And a show-off. I don´t like that." His eyes follow me.

"What do you like then?" His question surprises me. He slowly takes the documents out of my hand, his finger gently brushing mine.

"I don´t think that is any of your business." I try to clear my voice. His touch makes me shiver.

"Come on, tell me. Would that be so bad?" His whole presence is making me nervous and I feel my hands start to shake.

At work, I can always hide behind a mask, pretend that nothing he does affects me. I can act like I truly hate him, even though I catch myself looking at him, from time to time. Especially when he shows off his intelligence without realizing it, impresses his clients and -I would never admit it- me too. It's a certain charm about him, the way he always knows how to answer, while being mischievous and clever about it.

But now, that he's in my apartment and so close to me, it's suddenly different. And I don't know how to react to him being nice.

"I look for someone who isnt afraid of commitment. Someone who is honest and kind, but who also challenges me. I want to feel safe, so I can put my trust not only in myself."

He nods and is quiet for a moment, I begin to feel stupid for telling him all of that, when he responds.

"I get that. Someone whose shoulder you can lean on when things get too much. Someone who meets your needs, who wants to be in your life. For longer than a one-night stand." He smiles at me and I see for the first time, why I possibly could like him.

"Also, statistics show higher rates of being robbed or kidnapped, when you have one-night stands." This remark almost makes me laugh, even though it's frightening.

"Well, who would even notice, if I would disappear? Probably only my clients, because they need me." I lower my head, being completely honest with him for the first time.

"I would notice."

When I look at him, he takes a step towards me. His fingers gently slide over my shoulder and brush my hair aside, the touch makes a warm feeling bloom in my chest.

"I couldn't annoy you anymore. My life would be pretty boring without you. And it's not so bad to be able to look at such a pretty face every day, even if it always looks at me annoyed, like all the time." I quietly laugh at that, feeling surprisingly good because of his compliment.

We look at each other, now being really close. My eyes travel to his lips and I don´t even know how it happens, but suddenly he is all over me. His lips on mine, his hands on my waist, lifting me up to sit me on the desk. I moan softly when his hands tangle in my hair and he pushes himself closer to me, so that he's standing between my legs. One of his hands gently wraps around my neck and I feel my loud pulse.

My hands move too, stroking his back and holding him closer to me by his tie. As he pulls his lips away from me, he lifts my chin with his finger. Now, looking down at me with widen pupils. I hold his eye contact, forgetting all about my issues with him, when he speaks to me with a deep voice (which I suddenly don´t think sounds irritating anymore).

"Be angry at me tomorrow and mine for tonight. I bet, all your frustration from work and your thin nerves can catch a break, what do you say?"

Not much. Because I pull him towards me by his tie and kiss him again. I don't want to stop at all anymore. He returns the kiss with the same enthusiasm and his hands find their way to my waist again to lift me up again. When he crosses the living room with quick steps and lays me down on the sofa, I already feel out of breath and clearly turned on.

His kisses become more intense, his lips move from my mouth to my neck, leaving marks there. But it feels too good to make him stop.

"I will gladly hear your excuses, when someone asks you about your hickeys tomorrow. Because you will be all flustered, when you think again about this moment. Where you are ready to be fucked by your colleague, who you despise so much." I whimper as he pushes up my dress and his hands pull my tights down to my knees. The cold air hits my skin, but I don't really notice it, because his lips are on my neck again and his fingers connect first with my stomach and then further down. I hold my breath as his lips touch my ear and his fingers stroke my folds.

"So wet for me. Didnt think, I would turn you on this much." I kiss him to shut him up.

"You are-" I moan, when he finally puts a finger in me. "-so annoying." He laughs at me.

"Am I? But you seem to like it." I feel myself getting wetter, his fingers feel so good as they move gently but firmly inside me. One of his hands moves to push my dress further up and somehow, he manages to pull it over my head. Now, I'm lying in front of him in just a bra, his hands slowly find their way over my body and to my back, which I lift slightly so that he can open the clasp.

When I lie naked in front of him and he massages my breasts, his lips touch mine and his fingers stimulate me, I feel like I'm in heaven.

He breaks apart, so he can look at me and I draw my eyebrows together, when his fingers increase in speed. My mouth opens and the sounds that escape me echo in the apartment.

"I'm- god, I think I am going to come-" at that he starts to tease me, going slower but a lot deeper. My eyes almost roll back as he hits a certain spot inside me.

"That feels good? What do you say, when you want something?" You stupid idiot.

"You stupid-" I begin to say as his lips graze my nipple and his finger scissor and stretch me out further.

"One word, darling. Say it." And because I feel this knot inside me (and maybe this side of him turns me on, like a lot), I finally open my mouth to please him.

"Please, Mike. I-I need to-" My sentence is cut off as his fingers speed up and I moan loudly.

"Thats a good girl, you can be so good to me, if I make you." His lips search mine as I finally come. My breathing is heavy and when I come down from my high and look at his face, I see the satisfied expression.

"You are done-" I can't maintain my strict facial expression and suddenly have to start smiling. His eyes widen in surprise and I raise my eyebrows, still smiling softly.

"What?" I quietly laugh at his expression.

"Nothing, its just- I have never seen you smiling so happy." I roll my eyes gently. As I look at him closer now, I see the bulge in his pants and the loosened tie. As I lean forward, his eyes shift to my body.

"You still are fully clothed. A bit unfair, don't you think?" I watch him swallow and my hands move to his chest to slowly unbutton his shirt. As I also remove the tie and slip the shirt from his shoulders, I sit myself on his lap. Rocking my hips forward and seeing his eyes close. His hands move to my hips and begin to control the movements, my eyes close too and my head leans into the crook of his neck as the movements become faster.

Sighs and heavy breaths leave his lips and once again, one of his hands moves to grab my breasts, lightly grazing the nipples.

I look at him, noticing his swollen lips and his flushed cheeks. His hair is a mess and his forehead is furrowed, but he tries his best to pull himself together.

I groan as I look at him and suddenly think back to todays afternoon, when he was on a phone call and I heard how he listed one reciting fact after another, without any difficulty.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"N-nothing" I'm definitely too embarrassed to admit how much his intelligence and the way he seems to know everything, turns me on.

One of his hands moves to my entrance and teases me by just circling around it. When I try to push myself down, he pulls his fingers away.

"You tell me, whats going on in that pretty head of yours and you'll get me." My body feels so hot, I can't think properly anymore.

"You where on a phone call today and you just- you listed without any effort every single point that will help you win the case. You just said it like- it's nothing."

When his fingers dig into me again, I bite my lips. I try to control my moans and not pay attention to the fact, that I just gave him every opportunity to make him be more complacent than his usual self.

His fingers pump into me and I feel slightly overstimulated. But I wouldnt want to stop now.

"You get off by the thought of me, saying memorized facts? Who would have thought that my intelligence would turn you on so much." God, his ego probably doesn't fit in this apartment anymore.

"Don't think too highly of yourself, you still annoy me." Now I'm really just trying to get myself out of the situation. I lean towards him, so he can't say anything anymore and pull on his blonde hair to distract him.

Moans escape my lips and when I notice that his noises are also getting louder, I pull away from him. He looks at me confused.

"I want you inside me." Thats all I say, but he quickly complies with my request. I slide off his lap and wait for him to take off his pants and boxers until he's finally on top of me again. His fingers find my bottom lip and while maintaining eye contact, I open my mouth so he can insert a finger. My tongue brushes against his and after a few moments of him pressing on my tongue, he lets his fingers move back to the spot that needs him the most.

He stretches me for a few minutes until he finally guides his cock to my hole and slowly penetrates me. My eyes close and I hear his breath in my ear as he pushes further.

"You are so tight- good thing finally someone fucks you." I nod without thinking and hear his laughter in my ear.

"You think so too, huh. Would you let anyone fuck you then?" My stomach tenses, I feel the pleasure growing again and every movement of him. This feels so good-

I try to shake my head, but I'm too lost in the sensations to pay much attention to his words.

"No? But I thought, you hate me. Why would you let me fuck you, if you don´t even like me?" His thrusts become faster and more uncontrolled, I feel him getting closer to his own high.

"I-" I try to stutter "d-don´t hate you." I feel myself getting closer and reach into his hair, pulling at the roots and feeling his lips on my shoulder. His thrusts become more powerful and as he moves his hand and massages my clitoris, suddenly everything goes white in front of my eyes and I come.

I feel every inch inside of me, feel his fingers brush over the visible bulge in my stomach and think to myself: god I feel so full

When he comes too, I moan so loudly that it's impossible that my neighbors didn't hear me. His hand finds its way around my chin, he slides a finger into my mouth and I feel my vagina tighten because of it.

He hisses and his thrusts slow down until he finally pulls out of me, trying not to fall on top of me. As I give him some space next to me, he falls halfway on me, but pulls me on top of him in the next second and I can hear his strong heartbeat. With his outstretched hand he pulls the blanket over me, that had fallen to the floor.

We both try to catch our breath and as the minutes pass, only the wind outside is heard. He is the first to break the silence.

"So, you don't hate me?" I lift my head from his naked chest to look at him.

"Only sometimes." He shakes his head and smiles, gently stroking my back.

The evening went by quickly, we ordered a pizza and ate it (clothed) on the terrace. We were going over his documents for tomorrow, I blushed at the thought that this was the real reason he came here, but he just hugged me from behind after we finished and continued watching the stars.

It's not really clear what this evening means for us, but I don´t want to get into that, not yet. Because I'm not sure what it means anyway.

Because now, I have to get used to the fact that his voice no longer irritates me, that his jokes no longer annoy me and that he as a person, is actually not as bad as I imagined.

"Who thought, I was the one to get you relax."

But he is still a show-off.

[consistencynevermether]

Ice cold: Astarion x reader

content: ascended Astarion x gn tav, angst, tav is goin through it in this one yall, i give karlach a more hopeful ending in the background bc i just want her to be happy, karlach and tav besties agenda, sfw, cannon typical violence

summary: after breaking it off with ascended Astarion, you meet again at a winter ball

word count: 6k (apparently i cant shut up about this man)

a/n: man i gotta write more happy Astarion content fr i keep putting this man in situations.

How many years had it been since you’d seen Astarion? 3? 5? Maybe more? You try to remember what your last moments with him were like before you decided to break things off. It was definitely after he ascended, but was it before you had gotten rid of the tadpole, or after? Honestly, after a while things had started to blur together really. After so many years, only the painful parts remained clear in your memory. How you, with tears in your eyes, had told him you couldn’t do this anymore. And the look of condescending and uncaring as he stared back. It had shattered you into a million pieces to end things with Astarion, but it would have hurt even more if you had stayed. Whoever he had become after he ascended, it wasn’t your astarion, not really.

Why were you reminiscing about your lost love? Well because after all these years apart, he was now standing about 5 feet away from you. Gods above how did you get yourself in this situation?

Let’s start a few years back after Astarion had left to be the new lord of Baldur’s Gate and you had stayed, shattered. Having to pick up the broken pieces of what you once were, having to figure out who you would be without him. You probably should have taken some time alone, now that you think about it. Processed your emotions, talked to a professional, properly mourned what you had lost before continuing on.

Of course, you had done the opposite and instead had decided to travel with Karlach and Wyll to Avernus. Going to hell is probably not the best way to cope with a breakup, but that was the only option anyone could think of to try and save Karlach from the fate of the engine in her chest. And after what had happened to Astarion you just-

You just couldn’t 

You couldn’t lose someone else, if you did, you felt like you would have been shattered past the point of repair. You couldn’t take losing one of your only friends right after losing your love. So you gathered up the broken pieces of yourself and headed straight into the hells. 

You were down there for a few years probably. 

Maybe? 

Honestly, you didn’t remember. Time became sluggish and foggy after Astarion had left because it kept marching forward, away from your time together with him.

Yet in the end, Karlach had gotten her engine fixed and all 3 of you had climbed out of hell. A few more burn marks and scars, but nothing more than that had changed. Physically at least.

You had somehow managed to put your broken pieces back together, but you weren’t the same as before. You didn’t feel complete, more like a jumble of razor-sharp shards being forcefully welded together trying to imitate what you once were. But now you were jagged, and cracked, and tired

Gods, you were tired. The dark circles under your eyes never left, no matter how much you slept. Or tried to sleep that is.

Sometimes in the dead of night, you would replay Astarion's ascendance in your mind over and over again, wondering what you could have done differently then. Or even before. Where had you gone wrong? Was there another outcome that you failed to make happen? Was there another reality where the two of you were happy together? Gods how that thought hurt. 

 Sometimes, you thought about the what-ifs. You imagined what would have happened if he hadn’t chosen to ascend. What both of you could have been. What you so desperately wanted but could never reach. Eventually, you stopped that line of thought at night. It was too crushing to imagine how things could have been different. What you could have done differently. 

After emerging from hell, you had on and off traveled with some of your previous party. 

You and Wyll had headed to Waterdeep once to help Gale with a sea monster problem 

In an amusing team-up, you had helped Halsin and Lazel find an enchanted bracelet they were both searching for, though they both argued on how to act upon most things during that entire adventure, so you had felt almost like it was a babysitting gig the entire trip. 

There was also that time you helped Minsc dispose of some bandits robbing people near Baldur's gate, but you had dealt with that sorry lot fairly quickly and got far away from Baldur's Gate even quicker. You didn’t want to accidentally run into a certain lord. 

And now you had an entirely new quest, in the bitter cold land of Sossal. A few weeks ago, you met back up with Karlach who apparently had been looking for you.

It’s not that you disliked seeing Karlach at all, in fact, you were both very close, which was part of the problem really. Part of why it stung a little to see her. 

She saw you. She saw how much you hurt even after all this time. Your other friends seemed to have assumed that you had gotten better. That over time you had healed and it had gotten easier for you to come to terms with leaving Astarion. But Karlach knew the truth, She saw right through you, and it was mortifying. That every day the hole inside your heart had just got wider. She feared it would swallow you up one day, and you didn’t blame her. It didn’t help that being around her just made you feel so

Pathetic. 

She had been to literal Hell and back and could still smile and laugh, while you had only lost one person and had cracked and splintered like glass. It hurt to see the light that shined off her while you could only fall deeper into darkness. 

Of course, you knew none of that was her fault, you only had yourself to blame for who you were, so when she came asking for help, you didn’t hesitate to say yes. 

She was having engine troubles again. It wasn’t as bad as before, thank the gods, but it did have a tendency to overheat ever so slightly whenever she felt a strong emotion, and if you didn’t do something one wrong spook could set her ablaze. Luckily she had gone to Gale first and discovered a gem Called the frostbite tear. He could attune the gem to Karlach and make it so that every time her engine began to overheat, the jewel would immediately cool it down, negating the problem before it became a real issue like when you had first met her. Last anyone had heard of the gem it was with some noble in Sossal. 

So here you were. You, Karlach, Shadowheart, and Gale all together at the midwinters ball held here in the capital. Gale had procured the invites for you all, and every noble in Sossal, plus some from other territories, would be here for this celebration. Gale had even been nice enough to give you a beautiful outfit for the ball, made of silvery-white sparking silk. It reminded you of fresh snowfall on a winter's night. Admittedly it wasn’t very practical, and Gale did make you shower before putting it on. (Rude. You didn’t think you smelled t h a t bad.)

You were so focused on helping find this noble (and robbing him of the frostbite tear) that you hadn’t even considered Astarion might be here. 

Not up until the moment that his vibrant red eyes locked onto yours across the room. 

You couldn’t move. Everything was moving too fast and also in slow motion. Your legs felt like lead and your mouth was bone dry. The numbness that had settled in your chest for years now cracked open with new pain, and you weren’t sure which of the sensations you hated more. 

All all this panic and emotions, and yet in your mind all you could think of was how he looked just the same as the day you left. He hadn’t changed. And that made it all the harder. Because now it was easier to forget all the years between you two. He still looked the same as what you saw when you closed your eyes each night. It was Astarion. But on closer examination, not your Astarion. 

There was a coldness to him now. A certain reservation in his smile that made you feel like you would be a mere annoyance to him if you dared to approach. He seemed sharper somehow as well, like a finely honed blade. And his attire was extravagantly beautiful, the white fur-lined cloak he was wearing was probably more expensive than anything you had ever owned, including your current attire. 

You were so busy taking this all in mentally that when you went to glance at him again he was gone. For a split second, you genuinely wondered if you had finally snapped and just hallucinated all of that when an all too familiar hand took yours. 

You hadn't looked away for more than a second and astarion was right there in front of you, kissing your knuckles. The brush of his lips on your skin was nearly enough to bring you to your knees. All these years, and he still had so much power over you with one little motion.

To any outsider, this looked like quite the cute interaction really. The handsome new lord of Baldur's gate spots an incomparable beauty from across the room and is instantly smitten, so he effortlessly woes them the second he steps into the ballroom. But life is no romantic play. 

“Hello darling, it certainly has been a while. We simply must catch up” 

Before you could even attempt to respond, his hands were around your waist, guiding you to the dancefloor as the orchestra began to play, and other couples began to join the dancefloor as well. 

You’d hoped maybe the dance would save you from the conversation, but it seemed the opposite was what occurred, as Astarion leaned closer to your ear to whisper, “So, 7 years without a trace, and suddenly you show up looking positively exquisite. Do tell me what you’ve been up to.” 

Your mouth opens to respond, but you realize you have no idea what to say. What could you possibly say to him, and why would you even say it? 

Luckily you were spared any more torture when you noticed Astarion staring intently at your neck. The sight reminded you of that night you found out he was a vampire spawn, and you had let him drink from you for the first time. But instead of hunger Astarions brown was furrowed with another emotion. Annoyance? Concern? Worry? You couldn’t tell anymore. It had been years since you could tell what Astarion was thinking

His voice broke the silence once again. 

“Is this new?” His long pale fingers brushed across the burn scar near your collarbone.

Ah. So that’s what he was staring at. 

“Well it’s been there a few years, so I wouldn’t really consider it new but-“ you shrug at the end of your sentence, and you both know what you meant. It was only new to him. He may have stayed unchanged all these years, but you certainly hadn’t. And it seemed Astarion was beginning to notice. 

His eyes raked over you, taking in the changes. You were a bit more muscular now, all that constant fighting no doubt. Your new(er) scars were more visible in this outfit, which admittedly was a little revealing and definitely not meant to withstand the harsh outside winter. And the years now showed in the tired look in your eyes. You imagine that your eyes aged you quite a bit honestly, maybe you should be shocked he even recognized you now. 

“So”, he started, decidedly keeping his hand firmly around your waist so you couldn’t run from the conversation, “when you made my undead heart beat again only to toss it on the ground at my feet again like it was nothing all those years ago, I always imagined how nice it would feel to see you struggle while I thrived as lord of Baldur's Gate.” 

Wow. Impressively bad flirting. Had he gotten worse at this over the years? Or maybe he just detested you so much he didn’t even think there was a point in even pretending to like you anymore. 

“But now that I’m actually here and you look-“

He gestured at you vaguely 

“Well a bit like you’d been the one who got dumped, it doesn’t feel very satisfying.” 

“Mhm,” you responded, in a stroke of pure poetry. 

“Darling, you have to give me more than that. The silent treatment after all this time is just petty, even for me.”

He had a point. And part of you did want to know-

“How have you been, Astarion?” 

His steps faltered a little when you said his name, but he quickly recovered, smoothly continuing the dance 

He smirked, his fangs visible on one side “Well certainly better than you if I had to wager, the stuff under my eyes is eyeliner, not sleep deprivation side effects.”

You close the distance between you two involuntarily to get a closer look at his face. He was wearing some sort of golden liquid as eyeliner on his bottom lids. It was subtle but beautiful, and it shined when the light hit his face just right. On instinct, you began to reach towards his face, but you quickly stopped yourself. You needed to stay focused, damnit. You were here to help Karlach.

Astarion's smooth voice cut in once again. “Still making me do all the talking? Honestly, I don’t ever remember you being this quiet before.” 

You startled and realized you had been staring at his face for a while, and then trying to snap yourself out of it, all while not making a sound

Gods you don’t remember it being this hard to talk to him. But then again, you found it harder to talk to anyone these days. you just-

You just didn’t expect that to also apply to Astarion. Further proof that despite him looking the same, there was distance now. A silent gaping chasm that you had no way to cross. But that is what you wanted, wasn't it? To get away from this Astarion. The one who considered you a pet, or an object to be displayed. Treasured, and loved, but never his equal. Never fully having free will, everything you would have done would have had to be something he approved of. 

You loved him, more than anything. You still did. Deep down you knew you would die for this twisted version of your love, and if he asked you to rip out your own heart and serve it to him, you would. But you couldn’t be with him. Everything else you would do for him, but that was where you drew the line. It hurt too much, to be reminded every day of what you had lost. Of what you have failed to protect. That sweet high elf with a silver tongue and a heart of gold he let so few see. The one who wished for freedom more than anything, but still stuck by your side. Because at some point, he wanted to be free with you. And that was not this Astarion. 

Despite all that, just for this moment, you wanted to forget it all. To be held in his arms once again. Maybe, if the gods blessed you, see a real smile of his. You just wanted this one moment. Then your greedy heart would be satisfied. You could burn this image of the two of you dancing forever in your mind and have it sustain you. You’d gladly take another trip to the hells if it meant just a moment where you could pretend you were with your astarion. The one that lived on in your memories. Though you didn’t dare hope that he was still in there somewhere, you don’t think your heart could take it. 

You inhale deeply and begin to talk. You tell him about the quests you’ve been on, the adventures you’ve had, what you’ve been up to these past years. Including why you were here, and your quest to help Karlach and find the frostbite tear.

Eventually, you get to the point where you tell him why you're here, and what you're looking for. But as you do you see a scowl twist on his face. 

“Astarion?” You question, “What’s bothering you?”

He huffs in reply, and you can’t help but smirk. 

“I’m sorry but I do remember someone just talking about how petty the silent treatment is.” You prod, and lock eyes, a sign for him to tell you what’s on his mind

He rolls his eyes at your persistence, but nonetheless, he begins to speak. 

“Hm. Just seems like you and Karlach are so very happy together. A bit of a downgrade if you ask me, but that’s certainly no fault of hers. I mean, once you’ve had me, all you can do is go down from there.” 

“Karlach and I aren’t dating.” You deadpan. 

She was more like a sister to you than anything, and besides you’re pretty sure she already has eyes for someone. 

“Oh?” Astarions eyebrow raises. “So who have you been shagging all these years then? Wyll? Shadowheart? Surely not Gale. Oh please tell me it’s not Gale, I think that might actually hurt my feelings a little if we both shared being to your tastes.” 

“Be nice. Gales is a good friend. FRIEND. They all are. And to answer your prying question, I’m not with anyone. Not since you.” 

It was true. You hadn’t loved anyone since astarion. It just didn’t feel right. Even the idea of a casual fling didn’t feel at all satisfying. And there was no way you would actually consider dating someone again. Not when Astarion still held your heart. 

You could see a few emotions go across Astarion’s face, but you couldn’t recognize them. You remember when you used to be able to know what he was thinking, when he was lying or not. But not anymore. Maybe it was because he was always putting on some act now. 

As you stared, his hand wrapped around your waist and for a breathless moment, he effortlessly lifted you up into the air, gently twirling you around him. then he put you down and smoothly continued the dance as if that was always part of the steps. 

Your face flushed at the amount of contact, and the smirk once again graced Astarion’s lips.

“So, nobody since me? Seems like someone’s not quite over the Lord of Baldur’s Gate.” He singsonged, taking great pleasure in how momentarily flustered you were. “It's ok if you're not over me darling, I can’t blame you.” 

Clearly, he meant this as a joke, one you were supposed to roll your eyes at and ignore. But there was no point in lying, so you just nodded and continued the steps of the dance. 

Astarion stopped dead in his tracks. 

“I-

Wait what? You're still-

Ah- 

You're not over me?” 

“Astarion, the song isn’t over.” You tried to nudge him back into the dance, but his feet were planted firmly, and he wasn’t going to budge. 

“Answer me.” 

You sigh. He wasn’t going to move. So now you were just standing here. In the middle of a ballroom. With everyone else dancing around you. Great. This was super inconspicuous and undercover. 

“I will only continue to talk if you move your damn feet Astarion. Hells I’m supposed to be blending in not standing out.” You hiss and kick at the side of his shoes to indicate for him to get moving.

He recognizes the determination in your eyes and you can see him deciding mentally that he’ll probably get his answer sooner if he does as you ask, so he picks up the dance once again. His grip on your waist is now like iron though, not painful in any way, but there’s absolutely no way you could get out of his grasp now. Not even if you put all your efforts into trying. 

His eyes never left yours, his intense stare practically commanding you to talk.

Which you did say you would do. 

“I still love you.” You shrug. “Never stopped loving you.”

“Then why did you leave?” The hurt in his voice is evident, and you immediately feel like someone hurled a spear of ice directly into your chest. 

You can barely raise your voice above a whisper without it cracking. “You know why. I already told you when I left.” 

“Bullshit. Because you loved the person that I was? He was pathetic. Only a fool would want the lesser version.” His voice was like ice, you could feel the hatred he held for himself.

And you instantly felt your anger flare up at his words.

“Don’t you ever talk about-

About him like that”

It felt weird referring to past Astarion as someone else. But it was true. They were two completely different people now. And honestly, you didn’t care about the semantics, your blood was practically boiling. 

“He was the love of my life. He was everything to me. So don’t you dare insult him.” You spat, practically seeing red

Astarion's face twisted in rage. 

“Maybe you liked me pathetic, hm? Maybe the only way you could possibly love me was if I was beneath you. A precious pet spawn, entirely dependent on you, living in your shadow to protect me from the sun that I now bask in.” He sneered, meeting your rage with his own.

And just like that, you had shattered all over again. 

It was your turn to stop dancing now, unmoving in the sea of swaying nobles. 

Astarion's rage seemed to have flickered out seeing the look on your face.

What did your face look like? Were you shocked? Were you crying? Somewhere in the back of your mind, you could register the feeling of hot tears down your cheeks, but you paid it no heed. 

Instead, you wrapped your arms around Astarion, putting your face in the crook of his neck. 

Astarion completely froze at the sudden contact, not even taking a breath. Although he probably didn’t need to actually breathe anyways so maybe that was normal.

“I’m sorry. If-

-If you truly believe that I ever thought that way about you, then I messed up beyond repair. I'm so sorry.” 

You tried to continue, to apologize for all the times you had failed him. For making him feel like that. But you realized you couldn’t speak. Your body was silently heaving with sobs, tears flowing down your face and ruining Astarion's nice clothing.

Great. You couldn’t even cry without screwing him over. And this was definitely not inconspicuous. 

You lifted your head, making a move to step away, but as you did you saw a blue glint on one of the lapels of some well-dressed lord.

Holy shit.

The frostbite tear. You had found it. And all it took was sobbing on your ex to spot the damn thing. That didn’t make you feel pathetic at all. Though admittedly this was the perfect distraction from this soul-crushing conversation. Maybe with any luck you wouldn’t even have to address that embarrassing display that no doubt disgusted astarion, he was probably hoping you’d get the hell off him already.

So you did just that, jerking back from the hug and keeping your eyes glued on the gem. 

“Astarion look. It’s the frostbite tear. On that lord.”

But you could tell Astarion’s eyes were firmly glued to your face. 

You tried to slip away, to follow the frostbite tears owner and relieve him from its ownership, whether that be by swiping it, lying, or just straight up threatening the guy. But Astarion held you firmly in place. 

“What are you doing?” You whispered, to not startle your target. “He’s right there. Let go.”

“You can’t just drop that on me and leave” he whisper-yelled back 

“I’m not leaving, I’m just grabbing something real quick. Now let go, it’ll take 5 minutes tops.”

“What if you decide you don’t wanna talk again and run off?” He countered 

“Then you can corner me because you're the vampire ascendant.” 

“What if he catches you and you get arrested?”

“Then you can visit me in jail because you're the vampire ascendant.” 

“What if-“

Oh for fucks sake. 

“Whatever happens, I assure you, you will be able to say whatever you want to me after because you are the vampire ascendant. You made that fact very clear to me when we were together. Now let go.” You cut him off, and then try once again to move towards the target. But his grip remained firm 

You look up at him, now filled with annoyance and desperation. The noble could escape if you didn’t do something now, and yet Astarion seemed insistent on trapping you. 

“Just one more dance, alright?” He bargained.

Unbelievable. That was his priority? You knew it had been a while but you never expected him to disregard a former ally so blatantly. Karlach needed this. 

But upon closer inspection, he almost looked… a little guilty? Worried maybe? That didn’t seem right. What on earth?

Just then, Astarion pushed your face into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, almost protective. Protective but restrictive. You couldn’t move away no matter how much you pushed on his chest or tried to slip out of his hold. 

“Astarion. Let. Go.” You hissed.

But your attempts at breaking free immediately stopped when you heard an ear-piercing screech and the sound of heavy footsteps. 

On instinct, you reached for where your weapon would normally be, but you had nothing on you. Shadowheart had a few small weapons concealed on her in case things got messy, considering her attire was a bit more conservative than yours, but she wasn’t anywhere near you now. 

Damnit. On instinct, you tried to twist around in Astarion's grasp to a more protective stance. Of course, you knew he didn’t need your protection at all, it was just a base instinct kicking in. Unfortunately, he didn’t allow you to move out of his grasp, so all you could do was squirm. 

“What is wrong with you??” You practically shouted. If there was danger, then just standing here like this would leave you both wide open. Had he lost all common sense? 

Unless- 

At that exact point, a guard of the lord of Sossal burst through the doors, covered in blood. 

“Vampire spawn are attacking the gates!” She exclaimed, cradling her arm, which was profusely bleeding. 

“I didn’t know you would be here.” He murmurs, almost as if he’s telling this to himself more than you. 

He wasn’t trying to keep you here, you realize. He was protecting you. None of the spawn would dare come near you if they saw Astarion holding you like this. 

But at this moment you didn’t care. For years you had mourned over the loss of your Astarion. You had tried so hard, attempting to separate him from this ascended Astarion. But you had never been truly able to get over him, to accept he was gone. Because deep, deep down, no matter what you told yourself, you still believed he was in there somewhere. Behind all the silks and sharp gazes.

And you felt that hope die as you heard the hissing of the dozens of spawn outside, mingled with the screams and cries of the guards. He was gone. And your heart was shattered all over again. 

But it was different this time. Before, you had pulled yourself together again, deformed and jagged, but still together. You couldn’t do that this time. There was no coming back from this. You could feel it. This pain wouldn’t fade. But there was something else there that wasn’t there before. Anger.

Astarion was protecting you, yes, but Gale, Shadowheart, and Karlach were here too. If the spawn got into the ballroom, they would be in danger. Not to mention this made procuring the frostbite tear infinitely more difficult. 

Rage burned in your eyes, and for the first time, you saw the great vampire ascendant stumble over his words a little, as he tried to explain something about how the lord of Sossal had insulted him, but you weren’t listening. 

While Astarion was struggling to explain himself, you realized he wasn’t paying as much attention to you. Good.

In one swift movement, you slipped out of his grasp and frantically looked around, searching for your friends. It was nearly impossible to hear anything over the screaming and panic of the nobles. It also wasn’t helping that Astarion was probably going to be right on your heels the second he recovered. Or maybe he’d just leave you to be eaten by his spawn. You didn’t really care. 

After continuing to weave your way past frantic nobles and shouting their names, you were able to see a red hand waving you down from the far left balcony. It was Karlach, and she was with Gale and Shadowheart. Good. With all 3 of them together any spawn that came after them would be screwed. But you still had a mission to complete.

You looked up at Shadowheart and held your hand out for a weapon. You were going to track down that damn gem if it killed you. That noble was about to have a very bad day. Well. A worse day. 

You were focusing all your hurt onto this, all your rage. But you needed to. You needed it because you had no idea what else you could do now. You needed something to focus on. Something to distract you from your shattered heart. 

Shadowheart saw your determination and tossed a short sword down to you. Not your preferred weapon of choice, but it would do.

You whipped around, hand around the short sword at the ready, but also because it felt grounding, to be fighting once again. Now it was time to hunt down your prey.

You quickly ran in the direction you’d last seen, glancing over every lapel for that glowing blue light. It was hard, many of the nobles were dressed in a winter theme, so shades of white, silver, and blue were all too common in the sea of panic. 

You continued to push past nobles, searching for that faint blue glow. You refused to let this go, you would not let Karlach down. You fought for too many years in hell getting the engine in her repaired to go all the way back to square one again. 

You feel yourself tunnel vision on finding a blue light, your head whipping back and forth on the hunt, it felt good to let everything else fade away into numbness as your only thought is tracking down this gem.

A glimmer out of the corner of your eye. A flash of blue. The shine of fine silk. There he was. In a crowd of panicked nobles trying to run into other parts of the castle and hide from Astarion's horde gathering outside. Honestly, it was a pretty understandable reaction, you didn't blame him for running at all, but you needed that gem. You hope he survived honestly.

Survived.

Because Astarion planned to turn this place into a bloodbath. Your Astarion. The one who you had sat under the stars with, and he would teach you all the constellations whose names you didn't know, his silky voice lulling you to sleep when insomnia or worry had hit you. 

You'd rather still be in the hells honestly. 

You took a deep breath, centering yourself back to the present. Get the gem. 

You dashed after the noble, drawing your shortsword and charging at the man. If possible, you'd do this quickly.

Ducking under the other guests, you grab this unfortunate noble by the collar, the moment you do he screeches, clearly fearing the worst. Luckily for him, you were only after his gem, not his blood. With one slice you cut the gem off the cloak, shredding the beautiful white fabric. 

Not even bothering to explain yourself to him, you pocket your prize and turn on your heel, heading back in your friend's direction, when all of a sudden you hear the noble you had just stolen from scream again. But this time it was followed by the screams of a few others 

You look back and that’s when you see her. A vampire spawn. Clearly on her way to the ballroom, but judging by her smile, it was clear she had just found some horderves. 

You could have run. You were the only person with a weapon and the farthest away from her. She definitely wouldn’t pick you as her first target, she’d go for one of the defenseless nobles right next to her. You should have met up with the others and gotten the hells out of this place.

But the noble whose lapel you had just torn apart was so young. They were people. Scared people who got unlucky and were about to die because someone had offended the great vampire ascendant. Maybe you wanted to save them. But more likely, you just wanted something to take your anger out on. Or maybe you were just dumb as a rock.

But regardless you turned around and began to sprint towards the spawn instead of away, angling your weapon so that you would have the perfect angle to go for her collarbone. 

Yet as soon as you locked her on as a target, her eyes went wide with..fear? She was a vampire spawn, surely she’d had a few of her victims fight back yes? Was this her first hunt? 

Soon you realized that wasn’t the case at all as you felt a chill run down your spine. Even now with all his power, it wasn’t hard for you to identify the presence now standing menacingly right behind you. The familiar smell of bergamot filled your senses with the closeness. You could feel his chest pressed against your back. You didn’t know what kind of face Astarion was making right now, but whatever it was, it terrified the vampire spawn, her form now shaking and cowering before her master. 

Funny. Even now after everything, you couldn’t find astarion scary. You probably should, considering how he just appeared behind you. But after everything you still couldn’t. 

There was no point in delaying this any further. You turn around, and as you do his eyes immediately move from the spawn back to you. And his gaze softened. Before this whole ordeal that single action probably would have caused you to melt. But now it was different. You had already resigned yourself to being without him. You couldn’t turn back time. You couldn’t save him. All you could do now was try and find a way forward. And you certainly wouldn’t find that staring into his crimson eyes. 

This felt awful. You felt awful. Walking away from him now didn’t feel like closure, it felt like someone had just stopped writing on the page mid-sentence. But you had to stop. Just stop. You couldn’t spend the rest of your life like this, mourning what you lost. Astarion would have an eternity to forget about you, but you only had this one life. And for the first time in a long time, you finally felt like you wanted to move forward with your life. To start living again. You were still mad. And upset. And it still hurt. But you wanted to get better. 

So you turned around, not looking at Astarion, and left. Walked right past him without saying a word. You didn’t know what he would do. Let you leave and forget you ever existed? Grab your arm and try to talk again? Decide he had had enough and just drain you dry? You honestly had no idea anymore. But you knew one thing.

You wouldn’t be the one to look back.

[koiir]

II CANT STOP ME

— embarrassing/annoying scenarios with them

Characters; Scaramouche, xiao, Kazuha, heizou x gn!reader

Genre: fluff, crack, comedy

Cw: swearing, chihuahuas, mentions of throwing up on heizous part, not proofread

“Hey…scara?” You made sure your voice was low, almost as if you were nervous and anxious, wanting to make sure your prank worked. You awaited for him to answer until you continued.

“What is it?” He sat on the couch, laying with his face smushed into the pillow. His words quick, a slight irritation already showing.

“Woww, already putting up an attitude?” He glared at you, rolling his eyes. He was waiting for you to tell him whatever it was that you had to say.

“Well, I need you to be honest with me.” You looked away, not daring to face him eye to eye. The action caused him to raise his eyebrows, wondering if there was a problem.

“Okay… go on.”

“And…. It might be a little awkward between us after. But I have to know how you feel.” You broke your words apart, wanting to show the anxiety you felt.

Scaramouche now felt caught off guard by this. Things being awkward between you two? He wanted to know if you had done something… or if he had done something.

“Just tell me already.” It sounded like he was rather desperate, trying to hide the emotions he started to feel. He just wanted you to spill it out already.

“I… I’ve kept this in for a long time, and I need to confront you about it.” You looked down at the floor, voice quite almost like a whisper.

What? What the hell were you talking about? Scaramouche didn’t like this, he almost felt his heart sink.

“[Name]?What are you talking about? What is it?” His voice was getting a little louder, but not with angry—more like worry, he got more nervous. He hated the way you wouldn’t look at him.

“It just doesn’t feel right if I don’t get an answer, I don’t want this to ruin things between us.”

“[name]? What is this about? Just tell me, I don’t like how-“

“Look at your phone scara! Look at what i sent you!” You said, almost yelling as you turned back to him. Your clenched your fist in anger, and… were you crying?

His eyes widened, his hands started to shake as his unlocked his phone—pulling your messages up. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t this. His face dropped.

He couldn’t believe he let you prank him like this. He was going to kill you. You started laughing seeing his face, expression filled with annoyance at your actions.

“Oh my goddd, I actually… I got you so good!” You laughed in between your words, your little prank being a success.

“For fucks sake [name]… I’m gonna kill you.” He glared at you, and then back onto his phone which showed the picture you sent him. A picture from when he was a toddler, hair messy—clothes filled with paint and on his face. How did you even get it?

“Don’t you like the picture?” You look so cute!” You walked over to him, almost grabbing his hands. But he smacked it away, giving you an attitude for what you had done.

“Shut up! You’re sleeping on the couch tonight!” And so you kept your word.

But… Scaramouche couldn’t handle you not being by his side, this causing him to carry you back to bed with him while annoying a word you said.

It was your idea, for xiao to meet your little furry friend. But god, it was the worst thing he had ever experienced.

“I thought… I would be meeting your cat, not that.” Xiao motioned his hands toward the dog—the chihuahua that was already starting to growl.

“Well, my sister came over and she wanted me to take care of her dog while she took care of my cat.” You looked towards xiao, finding his eyes glaring daggers at you.

Xiao could deal with cats, and dogs—but the way the chihuahua was staring at him… xiao couldn’t help but feel under attack. He felt like the little animal would pounce on him.

“I don’t he likes me.”

“She! She’s a girl…” you never why, but people always assumed the chihuahua was a boy. Did that say something about the chihuahua?

“But don’t say that xiao… she’s always like this don’t worry.” That was true in some way, but not always the case. As you two walked toward the dog, she started to growl and bark as loudly as ever.

“So she’s always annoying as fuck?” Xiao stayed in the same spot as you walked over towards her, she seemed to calm down a bit seeing you but was still on alert by xiao.

“Yeah, most of the time! But she’ll get use to you… soon hopefully.”

Xiao kept his words in, not wanting to know the answer by he had to know. “So, how long is she staying with us?”

“Mhm… I think my sis said two weeks? She’s pretty busy, always working.”

Xiao felt his face drop—two whole weeks… with that?! The dog that clearly didn’t like him????

“No.” That’s all he said, knowing that he had no say in this.

“Huh? But xiao….” You walked towards him with the dog in hand. “Just… here.”

“Wait! No!”

Before he knew, you had placed the chihuahua in his hands. And oh. Oh… xiao felt like he would die on the spot from how she kept growling in his grasp. The dog not giving up with her stuck up attitude.

Did she just bite him???

“Nope… not dealing with her any more.” She placed her on the ground, not wanting her in his grasp for another second longer.

That was the one of many incidents with xiao and you sisters lovely chihuahua. By the first week, the dog seemed be…. More at ease?

“Well, look at what we have here.” You entered the room, only to find xiao on the bed… with her.

The chihuahua he swore he couldn’t handle… was sitting on his lap. Almost falling asleep, but she opened her eyes once you came.

“Mhm…” xiao groaned, knowing you would tease the hell out of him for this.

You made sure to take a picture of this moment—without him knowing. Later using this as “blackmail” by teasing him. He wished he had never met that chihuahua.

It was often that your boyfriend, Kazuha—could be found writing his haiku’s. For once he never thought he could be annoyed by your presence, but we was proven wrong today.

Deep In thought he was, feeling your presence making his mind wonder—what could he possibly write next? Something that involved you… maybe.

He started to think of the write words… until he heard the voice.

“Kazuuu!” You said, rather loudly for his liking as it had disturbed his deep thoughts. He looked up to see you walking towards him, he found it rather funny—you were already pretty close to him as you sat on the couch infront of him.

You sat next to him, leaning your head on his shoulder. You skimmed through the empty paper he had, nothing yet on it.

“Can’t figure out what to write?” Your voice laced with concerns…but why did it have that tone following it? Kazuha swore he saw a sly smile on your face before it was gone.

“Yeah… I was deep in thought trying to find the right words.” He didn’t mention the part of where he was interrupted by you, not wanting you to feel upset at your doing.

But maybe he should have—because now he was dealing with you interrupting him every second he had. It was quite ironic, how you had managed to disturb him in the times where he was so close, to writing his thoughts down.

It didn’t matter what it was, small comments from you about what you saw on your phone, the view from the window ahead of you. None of it mattered, but it sure did get Kazuha rather pent up.

He knew he had to do something, so he did the one thing he knew always had you quite.

“Love… say, is something on your mind?” Kazuha had now walked towards you, face full of worry. Maybe there was something more to this than he thought, but he couldn’t exactly pinpoint it.

“Mhm? I’m fine Kazu, I promise.” A soft smile made its way onto your face, Kazuha though felt like that wasn’t exactly the truth.

“Oh? You sure? Because… you keep on disturbing me during important times.” His face now leaned over yours, his lips ghosting over yours. He could only think you were doing this to get a reaction out of him—but he wouldn’t let you win that easily, he rather hoped to get a reaction out of you.

Your breath hitched at the closeness from Kazuha, his eyes burned deep into yours. Your face almost being the same shade as that of his eyes. Those beautiful crimsons eyes that you could look into forever.

He leaned his lips toward yours, kissing you to conceal your voice. Your thoughts vanished as you could only focus on the one kissing you. You felt the teasing smile Kazuha had while kissing you—knowing that he had clearly won this little battle.

“So…try not to disturb me anymore dove? Okay?”

Heizou had always had a knack to tease you at any given moment, and today certainty was that day. Rather it felt worse, so much more worse.

“Man alive… even with your sickness you still won’t take it?” You hated the grin that he held, clearly knowing that he had done this on purpose.

“It’s because I told you to get pills… not medicine! You already know how I feel about medicine heizou!”

“Well… maybe it’s time to over come your fears! So, which one will it be?” Instead of following your words, heizou decided to go with the medicine option instead. Knowing how much you hated taking medicine, it didn’t help that the options had a smell to them. He knows how bad the taste would be.

“Neither. They probably taste like shit.”

“Aww, don’t say that love, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Plus, don’t you want to get better?” Of course you did—you had to cancel a date you two had because of this sickness. But heizou was having his fun, making you pick between two things that he knew would cause you agony.

You knew you had to suck up it—even if it meant giving into his tactics. You knew eventually you would get him back.

“Fine! I’ll take that one…” you pointed towards the one heizou had on his left hand, a smile appearing onto his handsome face. That smile made you want to smack him.

“There we go! Look at you… growing up and overcoming your fears! Here…” his tone was full of teasing, happy as ever with the fact that his plan had worked.

He then handed you the bottle of medicine awaiting you, gulping at the thought of having to chug some of it down.

He stood next to you, waiting for you to swallow the medicine. His smile never left his face as you stared down at the medicine—it certainly didn’t help that the smell was so strong.

Chugging it down you heard heizou give you a “good job!” You ignored the comment as you finally let the medicine down your throat, the left over taste still in your mouth.

What heizou didn’t expect was for you to throw up… something he didn’t think would be possible considering it was medicine. Maybe he should have gone with the pills—now having to deal with you as you cursed at him for what he had done. But hey, at least he got a laugh out of it!

[suavemania]

to be honest with you...

pairing: leon kennedy x reader word count: 850+ reader summary: you cant help yourself and tell leon the truth, you like him a bit too much than just a casual fling. warning: this sat in my drafts so here it is notes: not pining for once. just a bit short and sweet before i drop the most emotionally destructive drabble ive inflicted on myself:(

“I think I like you.” 

The words just came out, almost as if you couldn’t help yourself. Your body was pressed against his, you were on top of him; fingers had just traced his collarbone.You blinked at him, your eyes wide as you realized just what you had said.

The two of you weren’t anything official. It started with meet-ups every now and then, bodies intertwining with each other for emotional comfort. The nights would always end with the two of you sleeping next to each other, clinging onto the other as if to cram in as much physical touch before the sun came up. The two of you always hated mornings, but for various reasons. Leon never liked mornings because it meant he had to leave. You hated mornings because you would have to kill the feeling in you that this was more, meant more than just being a casual thing.

You swore that you wouldn’t meet him more after the tenth time, it was always on his accord, his rules. He would be the one to reach out, he would be the one to reply hours later after you ask him simple questions- it was never easy to get to him (you never knew why), but god, it was easy to be with him. His hands were always placed on your body perfectly, he always knew where to touch, where to be and when. It’s like he set his eyes on you, and he just knew how to treat you, to adore you, to love you. Parts of you would die for him, and you always figured it was because the two of you never just settled with ‘fucking’ each other, it had to be more. 

Your eyes would always lock with each other, hands clasping and bodies pressing desperately against each other; almost as if to carve a part in the other. It felt like love. To be filled with the desire to dig for each other, to live inside the very ribcage of the other but settling for just sex because it was as close as you were gonna get to being a part of him. 

It wasn’t only about being close to each other’s bodies. It was also the fact that the two of you didn’t sleep, like at all. After every session, the two of you would lie in your bed, chatting about everything, like for example: your theory that Leon dyes his hair blonde or Leon scolding you for the way you cook your scrambled eggs in the mornings. 

The routine is uncomplicated, simple yet enough:

Leon would come over. You’d kiss, sloppy kisses turn into passionate, feverish ones. It would be a stumbling battle to the bed, Leon would push you to the bed, leaving you to say: how did we actually pull it off to get here? Which was Leon’s cue to shut you up until your brain couldn’t possibly string together a sentence properly. Then, it was just mindless chatting so long into the night that the two of you would later head into the kitchen to cook a late-night snack. From there, it would just be a movie to fall asleep, or more chatting until the other went silent, usually you.

“You like me?” Leon asks, raising an eyebrow as you push yourself off his chest, scrambling for your underwear as you try to cover your body with the wrinkled, warm sheets. 

“I don’t know-” you spit out, hands aimlessly patting at the floor. Where were your underwear and why did it feel like everything had gotten a lot darker? And was it always this warm in the room? You let out a whine, but suddenly you felt the warm muscular chest meet your back. A gentle hand placed on your shoulder as Leon leans into your ear, his hot air brushing your already-blushing ear. 

“I know something you don’t.” He muses, and you could just hear that Leon had a smirk on his dumb, soft lips. The lips that you so desperately didn’t want to stop kissing. You close your eyes, feeling the awkward tension in your body numbing your entire body. Was this it, the slow humiliation? The painful end of your casual meet-ups that you promised you were fine with, settling for the crumbs of Leon that you could possibly get?

“What’s that?” You respond, a small tinge of reluctance as you await Leon’s disapproval, still disgruntled over the disappearance of your undergarments. Leon chuckles, plopping your underwear onto your lap as he lays himself down onto the bed again.

“That I think I like you too,” He says, and you could feel his eyes on you as you turn to look at him. The words sent a shiver down your spine, and then the lower part of your stomach began stirring. Your heart beating in your chest as you felt yourself growing needy. Without really realizing it yourself, you inch closer to him; disregarding the found underwear that was given to you by him. 

“Now come over here.” he says, his voice soft and affectionate as he speaks. "I want to kiss you."

[simpfordemetri]

what do you think is a turn on and a turn off for the fantastic four?

VOLTURI GUARDS TURNS ON/OFF

✧; :🎀: ;✧ ✧; :🎀: ;✧ ✧; :🎀: ;✧ ✧; :🎀: ;✧ ✧; :🎀: ;✧

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

ALEC

TURN ON:

Being able to see your collarbone,its his favorite place to kiss and he will plant kisses there always,sometimes leaving little love bites.

Cuddling and laying on top of him,the feeling just get him going,he tries to keep it cool and just relax with you but he always fail

TURN OFF:

Having a very high sex drive,his libido is not too high sincerely so he will probably get very overwhelmed if you keep pushing his limits

He will kinda shut down about sex tbh and you will end up without it for a good while…

JANE

TURN ON:

Having you at her mercy,so she will get crazy if you are a princess pillow and a bottom,moving you how she wants and not letting you touch her

When you squeeze your boobs when you feel pleasure,she just cant stop watching and probably gets distracted by the sight

TURN OFF:

Being a brat,i think i said this in other hc but she doesnt like it,for her is a naive attitude that she does not enjoy,not even in bed

And degradation,maybe she will degrade you but she wont let you do it,as much you can praise her,but degradation reminds her of how much she been insulted over her life

DEMETRI

TURN ON:

Seeing your thighs,i think he is one of those guys who will love to have his head wrapped around your legs,he will squeeze them at any given chance

And basically anything,i mean this boy will have you just because you looked at him and that had him going

TURN OFF:

Actually there is one thing that turn him off,and its when you try to get him jealous,maybe it seems fun and you thought it was a way to get him to fuck you,but it kinda hurts him even if the intention was to have him.

FELIX

TURN ON:

Sitting on his laps,he is basically a giant and you are probably so much smaller than him,so having you there and still being so small compared to him,he just discovered a very big size kink

And pulling his hair,specially when you cum,he almost dont notice when you do it if you are human,but trust me it gets him going

TURN OFF:

Asking him to try kinks where he can really hurt you,he really wants to but if you are human he cant get himself to do it because even if he has the control he is just too strong.

HEIDI

TURN ON:

Lingerie,she always chooses it for you so when you model it for her ,her head will spin

Neck kisses,trailing your tongue through all the sensitive spots on her neck will have her moaning and whimpering,letting you feel the control over her

TURN OFF:

Asking her for a threesome,nop,even if its just because its a kink of yours and there is no intention of any emotion or attraction to the third person,in her eyes you want to cheat on her or she feels she is not enough for you,will shut down for months even.

[moonchild-in-blue]

Massive thank you to you and everyone else who calls out how shitty it is to get mad at peoples interpretations. Sleep tokens music is romantic. Its also toxic. These statements can coexist. Its not your business if someone plays bloodsport or vore or hell even atlantic at their wedding. Youre not them, you dont know what the music means to them. If you see a weird take just roll your eyes and move on, its not a big deal. Absolutely sick and fucking tired of all these "why are you calling this romantic/sexy? Youre stupid and a terrible person!" takes like fucking relax. Media literacy is important yes. Respecting that this music is dark and personal to vessel is also important. Same goes for respecting how people relate to the music in dark ways. But as long as people are not saying things directly to vessel or fans about how their individual trauma is sexy then just chill out and respect peoples different interpretations. It sucks that i cant talk about how i view certain songs without being called horrible things and having really fucked up vitriol aimed at me. Yall need to grow the fuck up and get over yourselves. Im not thinking of your personal shit when i call a certain song romantic/sexy, i dont even know you, sometimes im thinking of my own trauma actually lol. Lets all discuss this music maturely where we respect each other and what each of us as individuals bring to the table for interpretation, stop making this fandom toxic as hell for anyone who doesnt agree 100% with your own interpretation. (Also the whole "youre not allowed to say this song is romantic/sexy" thing is very dismissive of some peoples trauma in itself, it ignores how messy someones feelings toward their abusers/toxic partners can be. Pretty fucked up to call a trauma survivor stupid or a terrible person because a song reminds them of their positive feelings towards someone who hurt them) Anyways yeah, just tired of people being so harsh because they refuse to see other peoples perspectives. I genuinely think one of the most toxic aspects of this fandom is the vitriol over different interpretations, people act like outright children at times with it im ngl, especially with more sexual discussions. It also feels infantilizing towards vessel at times, hes a grown adult who put romantic/sexy elements in his music and he doesnt need people trying to protect him from those themes. Im rambling but this stuff pisses me off so much, this fandom needs to do better

Context post for the clueless ones - regarding my tags/replies

Here's the thing - I've been in fandoms for many, many, MANY years. This type of discussion isn't anything new nor unique to Sleep Token, but it sure does make a comeback quite often. It's tiring to keep repeating the same things over and over, but that's what fandom is all about isn't it?

Someone needs to say something, and I am not one to shy away from uncomfortable conversations like these. Something something, build your own community, be the change you wanna see, etc etc.

I've said pretty much everything I wanna say already under that post, but for the sake of clarity, and because I can't keep my mouth shut apparently -

Under the cut for length - you know the drill:

Music is art. And art is subjective. Meaning, each individual will have their own personal connection and interpretation of a given piece of art, which in this case is Sleep Token's music.

Did Vessel write the songs with a certain intent or meaning? Most likely yes! It's not hard to connect the dots and guess what events/emotions might've transpired and served as inspiration for them (accuracy to personal life is irrelevant and none of our business, but it's also no rocket science to understand what's been said).

Can we establish a base meaning for any given song, or better, can we have a general consensus of what a song is about based on its lyrics and themes? Absolutely! Not every song is like that, but we can all agree there's a lot of recurring themes of past relationships and mental health struggles.

Is it wrong to diminish the songs to one basic element (eg. the sexual undertones) and/or completely disregard the bigger, more important theme? I'd say it is.

Giving Atlantic as an example (which as a lot of you know, is my most favourite song of them and very dear to me): this one has some very blatant references to suicide and depression. Regardless of whether it is based on irl events or not (none of our business!!!), it is extremely heavy and emotionally charged. I find it incredibly disrespectful when people say random stuff during the rituals when he plays this one.

Or for example, how certain people reduce Sleep Token to "baby making metal", instead of acknowledging the insane (insane!) variety of genres and the profound lyricism they present.

Should we limit our views, and by extension, those of others, to surface-level interpretation, without allowing room for different views and interpretations, either fictional lore based or not? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Vessel himself said to "not restrict ourselves to labels or genres because music transcends it all" (paraphrasing here). It's literally their whole thing. It's very hypocritical to be shouting from the rooftops about "media literacy" and assuming people are stupid or idiots for not understanding the basic, surface-level meaning of a song, when Vessel himself constantly writes in metaphors and half-truths.

I've touched on this a lifetime ago on one of my analysis, but if you *actually* look at the lyrics, you'll realise Vessel hardly ever says what he means. There's always something else behind his words, something he purposefully keeps hidden. It really sneaks upon you sometimes! I'm over a year in and I still find something new everyday on their music. That man has a way to weave in a hundred and one statements under a single sentence, that is just truly beautiful to study.

Is, say, The Love You Want, about a man (Vessel) mourning the fact that his love isn't reciprocated? Yeah! Is it about someone who, despite knowing they can never receive from their lover the attention and affection and care they want, will stay by their side anyways? It is!

Is it about bitterness, spiteful accusations aimed at the one person who should love you fully? Or a reflection of how little self-regard the singer has, so much that they are willingly and actively choosing to stay in a sinking one-sided relationship, because the alternative is too painful to bare? Can you flip the switch and see it as someone who is obsessively pursuing another person, and painting themselves as a victim? All of this, yes!

You can even eliminate the romantic aspect all together and apply it to a relationship with the self (past or future, or an alter ego), or a parental figure. The options are endless. There isn't one universal truth when it comes to music, and as such, all of these takes are 100% correct.

Many statements can be true at the same time - it doesn't make one more true or correct than the other. Simply different. The way we connect with music is very much dictated by our own life experiences, and no two people have lived the exact same life.

Can you prefer a certain way to look at a song, or completely disagree with certain takes? Absolutely! I know I sure as hell do! That's normal and expected and part of the fun in being in a community such as ours. More people means more ways to look at a song - isn't that just wonderful?!

Now, this is very obvious for most of us, but some people, especially in the younger rage, have been taught to look at things in a very black and white way. Not to be that person, but the truth is that the rise in awareness of social issues and "pc-ness", is slowly starting to eliminate the possibility of things being flawed and nuanced.

If you're wrong, you're awful. If you're right, you're obnoxious. Made a mistake? Get cancelled. Grow from your mistakes, but not like that. Learn from your actions, but change your whole personality in a day otherwise you're problematic.

You know what I mean.

Life isn't black and white. Art isn't black and white. Music isn't black and white. What may seem like a toxic, dark, obsessive depiction of a relationship to you, might translate to the deepest and most truest of loves to me. I can acknowledge something is Not Right, while still drawing my own conclusions.

Is Blood Sport a sad af song? Yeah! Definitely not the first thing I'd think of when in a happy relationship. But maybe that's the point. And maybe I do. And that's okay, and none of anyone's business. "Okay but The Apparition isn't a good example of a healthy and romantic-" TO YOU! Maybe that's what love looks like to me! Maybe I just happen to be into it! And what about it?

Maybe to me love comes with all the ugly sides too. The violence, the despair, the self-doubt. Who are you to dictate what I can or can't think? I highly doubt Vessel would go 🗣️ "WRONG! NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! >:::(", so why would you?

You can, and should, discuss the songs with others! Maybe some people do genuinely need a fresh pair of eyes to help them get to the juicy core of the songs - that's why we're here! To discuss, and exchange ideas! You can, and should, call people out when their engagement with the music is being harmful to others (joking and laughing during Missing Limbs? No bueno. Speculating about Vessel's personal life? VERY no bueno. Choosing a potentially weird song to walk down the aisle? None of your business + not your wedding + you weren't even invited + none of your business. Notice how I've been repeating that. Notice again).

You shouldn't, however, shame and ridicule others for having different views from you.

I think, rather than engaging in pointless discussions and start accusing people of being this or that, we should all exercise a little "don't like? scroll past". Is it harming you or others? No? Then scroll past! Is it an awful, truly horrendous take about something you're really passionate about? Okay! Disgusting! Scroll past! Good for them! 👍

Also - keep an open mind. We're all doing this living businesse for the first time, no one holds all the answers to everything. It's okay to change your mind. It's okay to say the wrong thing and backtrack. It's okay to make a mistake and learn and grow.

You know what's not okay? Being a dick to others because the thing you like is being misinterpreted. It's hard, I know!!! You can block people! You can scroll past! You can look at pictures of your favourite vessel and cleanse your brain!!!! I know I do!!!!!

And this is a last afterthought but - you don't get to complain about the fandom you're in if you're doing nothing to change that. I see many, maaaaany of you bitch about this and that, while having 0 engagement aside from the bitching. Like?? Maybe if you spent more time reblogging cool art or gifs and less time whining about literally everything, this would be a much more pleasant space!! And I DO get to be a little petty here because I sure do try my best to make this a fun and nice community. I am allowed a little bitching 😌

Anyways, tl/dr: don't be a dick; don't like - don't engage; keep an open mind; gaze upon the vessels. Peace and love yall 💙💫

[2therazor]

clean sheets

w/c: 2916

revenge gerard x reader

content warnings: afab, dom reader, mommy kink, slightttt masochism, established relationship, unprotected sex, degradation

you are responsible for your own media consumption

!THIS IS A REPOST FROM BEFORE I DELETED THIS BLOG!

it had been an extremely long day. extremely long. all day your boss on your ass about this and that, every thought straying further away from stability. wasn’t being an adult supposed to be fun?

as soon as you pulled into the driveway you felt your heart sink, every emotion in the world had just hit you at once as you slowly got out of the drivers seat and closed the door. the only thing on your mind was walking into the front door and being able to see gerard. days like this he would for sure be sat on the couch watching anything ranging from a superhero movie to a horror movie. (and nowhere in between) you smiled at the thought as you slowly pushed open the front door.

“hey baby,” he called from the couch as you slowly shut the door.

you kicked off your shoes and set down your bag without saying a word. gerard knew something was off right away. you were never this quiet coming home.

“hey.” you sighed, trying to hide the frustration and irritation in your voice. which you knew, wouldn’t do much. gerard always had a way of knowing if something wasn’t right, even if you tried to be as nonchalant as possible, there was no getting past him.

“what’s wrong?” he paused the movie and turned his head to look at you in the doorway. your head was down the entire time, looking at your feet.

the question alone was enough to make you crack as you quickly burst into tears, not lifting your head from your feet to look at gerard. you knew the look of concern on his face would probably only make it worse and you hated to worry him.

“oh sweetheart, I’m sorry,” he shifted from his spot on the couch and made his way over to you, slowly wrapping his arms around your body. the scent of his cheap cologne mixed with cigarettes was all too familiar to you. never once did you not feel safe in his arms, especially when you were like this.

“it’s just- my stupid fucking boss again” you choked between sobs, burying yourself deeper into his sweater.

you felt an arm come up to rub small circles on your back as he pulled away from you, looking at you with those soft, hazel eyes. you could’ve swore you’d die right there. he spoke gently, “was she on your ass again about the drafts?”

you nodded, attempting to hide in his arm again, but he stopped you, bringing a hand up to your cheek to wipe your tears.

“I’m just so frustrated and irritated, she makes me feel like i’m always doing everything wrong. i cant stand being treated like im like five years old and incapable of doing my job.” you brought your own sleeve to wipe your nose and eyes, wondering how gerard could see you like this; a sobbing mess, and still think you were the most beautiful thing he’s laid his eyes upon.

“i know baby, i know. why don’t you come sit with me for a bit, I’ll make you some tea and you can just relax for a bit.”

you smiled up at him and nodded gently. he always knew how to comfort you even if it was something so small and ridiculous in your mind.

“okay, come on,” he put his hand in yours and gently guided you over to the couch to sit. when he tried to walk away to turn the tea kettle on, he was stopped by a hand grabbing his sweater.

“stay? just for a little? just wanna hold you, please”

you croaked, lowering your hand.

he smiled gently, black hair falling into his eyes. “okay, yeah. ok i can do that.”

you smiled as he sunk into the couch. immediately, you crawled into his lap as he wrapped his arms around you.

you both stayed like this for a while, just enjoying each other’s presence when you began to feel a bit antsy. moving around every few minutes, hoping gerard wouldn’t notice.

but the truth was, it was hard not to notice what you were doing. squirming more and more as time went on. when you realized gerard was playing dumb, you looked up at him and weakly spoke.

“gee?”

he turned his head to look at you, but he had that sick sly grin on his face. he definitely knew what you were trying to do. but still, he played along, acting all innocent, pretending he didn’t have a clue.

“what’s up?”

you bit your lip, embarrassed to even bring it up, but still you tried, “can we… try something?”

there it was, that smile that he tried (but failed miserably) to hide, gently looking down at you, bringing a hand to your face. “what did you have in mind?”

you were so flustered but were getting to a point where none of that mattered anymore, so gently you said, “like… maybe i could be dominant? push you around, make you beg… just need to let off some steam..”

gerard was failing so hard to keep his composure, all he could muster out was a mere “fuck baby”

you smiled, slowly snaking up to his face and pulling him in for a heated kiss. kissing gerard was usually gentle and slow, but now he seemed desperate, practically begging you without words to push your tongue deeper into his mouth.

he pulled away for a second, hair messy, lips slick with your saliva and his combined. “lets take this to our room?”

you smiled and gently put a hand on his chest, trailing your fingers closer to his obvious bulge.

“yeah, I’d like that”

on the way to the bedroom you two could hardly keep your hands off of each other, gerard grabbing you by the hand and dragging you down the hall only for your lips to collide again as soon as he shut the door.

“gee?” you broke the kiss to say

“yeah baby?”

there was a spark in your eyes as you lowered your head to smile and speak. “go sit on the bed.”

gerard could’ve sworn he felt his dick twitch at that comment, he simply complied. making his way over to the bed and sitting on the edge, waiting patiently.

“aw, already being so good baby… but I’m gonna need you to sit all the way on the bed, can you do that for me?”

gerard felt his face turn red, god it was so hot to see you like this, him listening to every command you spoke, not questioning a damn thing. he felt so vulnerable, but god did he love it. you were intoxicating, there was no doubt about that.

and so, he slowly crawled back further onto the bed, groaning at the tight feeling in his jeans.

“sweetheart, please… i need you.”

god he was so needy, you rolled your eyes and scoffed. “did you really think it was gonna be that easy? christ gerard, i haven’t even taken my clothes off and this is how you treat me?”

his eyes widened with anticipation, not knowing what to say next he blurted out,

“mommy, please. im sorry.” he stifled a moan.

fuck. you were done for.

you tried to keep the façade up as you slowly walked over to the bed and began to strip slowly, making sure gerard was watching your every move. and he was, practically fucking you with his eyes.

he moved a hand down to attempt to touch himself but was quickly stopped by your hand attempting to pin his wrist to the bed.

“did I say you could touch yourself?” you growled climbing into his lap, still in your panties.

he turned his face to the side, attempting to avoid eye contact. you were not gonna let him off that easy.

“look at me. did I say you could touch yourself gerard?”

he whined at the pressure of you on his lap and slowly breathed out, “no.. im just. fuck i need you baby. need to be inside of you.”

a slap rang through the room, gerard gently bringing his hand up to his cheek.

“you’re not behaving gerard. good boys wait. and what are you supposed to call me?”

his glossy eyes turned to you as he spoke, “im sorry mommy. i’ve been bad. didn’t mean to-“

you cut him off with a kiss, this time more gentle.

“color?” you asked, gently stroking his cheek.

“green. fuck green” he breathed out

you smiled as you went back to kissing down his neck, slowly grinding down on his lap with each kiss.

gerard really couldn’t be in his pants much longer, and as you pulled away from his neck, he asked quietly, “mommy? can i take my pants off? please…”

you smiled, gently moving to push your leg against the tent that had been growing in his jeans.

that was enough to make gerard whine and moan all over again, attempting to cover his mouth with one of his free hands. you quickly put a stop to this.

“no, wanna hear you baby boy, you’re so pretty. gotta hear you moan while I fuck you.”

his eyes shut tight and hips bucked against your leg as he let out another high pitched moan.

you smiled, slowly unbuckling his belt and pulling his pants down but leaving his boxers on. quickly he kicked away his jeans and they were lost to the floor for the third time this week.

pre come leaked in a small patch on his boxers, barely visible underneath the black fabric. you were practically dripping wet at the sight, not once breaking eye contact as you freed his cock from his boxers.

this earned you a small whine from gerard who had his head thrown back against the pillows with labored breathing. you could see sweat glistening on his forehead, wondering how he got worked up so quickly with you.

“gee baby?” you got his attention, tugging on the hem of one of his many band tees that had seemed to be falling apart at the seams.

“mm?” he replied, soft and quiet. god how did you get so lucky.

seconds later, you were pulling the shirt off his head throwing it to the floor along with his boxers. he was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen in the world. long black locks sticking to his forehead, leftover makeup from nights before.

“c-can you touch me?” he whined, squirming around beneath you.

“i don’t know… you’ve been so so impatient all night. dont know if you deserve it…” you started to trail off.

that really made gerard move beneath you. you could tell he was biting his tongue, holding back from talking back to you again because he knew the consequences.

noticing his movement you slowly dragged your panties off your body. “think you can do something for me baby?” you enquired as he watched you with eager eyes.

“yes, i can do anything for you mommy.” his voice barely audible as he looked up.

“can’t hear you baby…” you gripped your fingers around his throat, giving him a tight squeeze. “speak up, or i’ll just leave you here for another hour.”

his voice was strained as he tried to speak through your hand gripping down on his throat. “please. god please, i’ll do anything, i’m your good boy please.”

you chuckled at his babbling, slowly removing your hand from his throat “so needy…” you said moving your pussy closer to his face. “gonna sit on your face, and if you’re good, i’ll fuck you hard and rough like you like.” you knew the power you held over him right now and you were not going to break character. not when your boyfriend was a sweaty, whiny, mess underneath you. you swore you felt it go straight to your core at the thought,

before he could respond, you lowered yourself onto his face, thighs on both sides of his head, causing him to grip onto your thighs.

“gerard.” you said in a stern tone.

he quickly realized his mistake removing his hands from your body.

“why are you so needy today? you want mommy’s pussy so bad? you have to fucking earn it whore.” you spoke above him before lowering yourself on his face again. he started out slow, small licks from the bottom of your dripping cunt to your clit, sucking hard.

“fuck baby,” you moaned attempting to grind harder down on his face. still, he continued, licking every drop from you, making filthy noises and sucking on your clit in between licks. you were so close, every breath stifling as you sunk further down on him. his tongue plunging deeper and deeper.

gerard could tell you were close, he knew the tell-tale signs of your orgasms like the back of his hand. he sped up, eating you out with so much desperation that it was almost pathetic.

“ah- gerard fuck.”

he stopped for a moment, lightly using his hands to push you off of his face so he could speak. “please cum baby… please, wanna taste you on my tongue, just fucking use me.” before bringing you back to his mouth

you broke, a moaning, overstimulated mess above him as you reached your high, legs shaking as you slowly moved off of his face breathing heavily.

you noticed gerard hadn’t gotten any softer down there, in fact, he looked bothered. the tip of his cock so red and sensitive, pre-come still leaking from the tip. you smiled gently and caressed his cheek. “you did so fucking good for me baby… want me to fuck you? fuck you so hard you can barely think?”

he nodded quickly and sighed out of relief. he needed you so badly.

“fuck me, please. be rough, do whatever you want… just need you now.”

and that's all you needed to hear before sinking down on his cock. still, even if you had been together for almost two years, it was always difficult to adjust to his size. he moaned at the sight of you, throwing his head back and exposing his bare neck. quickly, you wasted no time marking his neck. you knew he loved it when you bit him, licked him and kissed him up and down his neck. always relishing the sweet sounds that came with it. he brought his hands up to cup your breasts, rubbing small circles around your nipples.

you quickly sat up and began to move your hips at an even pace. gerard’s moans filling the room as you bounced up and down on him, not stopping.

for a moment you looked down at him, he was so fucked out it was unbelieveable. you slowly reached your hands down to his neck to choke him again. you felt him go stiff underneath you, letting out a guttural moan from his throat. his eyes grew soft, and although you were in charge, a wave of adoration flooded you as he grabbed your hand and pushed it down harder against his throat.

you picked up the pace again, hands still squeezing his neck tight.

“fuck.. so good..feels so. good.” he babbled beneath you, you could hardly keep your composure at this, that tight knot in your stomach making itself extremely noticeable again.

you moved your hands away from his throat to bring them to his thighs, slapping him as you sped up. you knew he liked it rough, and after the day you had, he told you not to hold back. and that’s exactly what you did.

“gee, m’ so close” you whined, still not slowing down.

“me too- fuck. can we cum together? please? i’ve been good.”

you had to hold yourself from cracking up because he had been anything but good. still, with the state you were both in, you didn’t have the strength to boss him around anymore. you needed release and so did he.

“yes baby, cum for me. do it hard, come for mommy like a good boy…” and it seemed those were the magic words as gerard bucked his hips up in one thrust, and you felt the familiar twitch of him inside of you. you came shortly after, barely able to sit up anymore.

both of you breathing heavily looked at each other and smiled as you slowly climbed off of your boyfriend’s lap, careful not to make too much of a mess.

gerard quickly slid out of bed and grabbed a towel from your shared closet to wipe you down before you had to clean the sheets for the fourth time this week. once he was done he pulled you into his arms, smiling and humming as he looked down at you, almost asleep.

“doing okay?” he asked with a slight hint of concern in his voice.

“yes, more than okay actually” you giggled, bringing his arm around your shoulder. “how about you baby? are you okay?”

“oh god yes,” his cheeks turned upright as he tried to laugh it off, acting like he didn’t have some of the best sex in his life with you.

you smiled into his chest, and although he couldn’t see it, he could feel the curve of your lip pressed against him.

“nap time?” he asked, pulling the covers over the both of you.

“yes, definitely.” you curled back into him and gently dozed off, forgetting about the god-awful day you had.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can I ask N (nightmare), E (ex), and I (injury) (angst alphabet) for Husk?

N, E, I with Husk (angst alphabet)

Me thinks I might write some angst alphabet stuff for myself after finishing requests

Notes: reader is GN although the post focuses a lot on Husk, reader is written as a sinner for Injury, written on mobile woo yeah

Prompts: Nightmare, Ex, Injury

CWs: injuries and alchohol use

EX

I'm sure Husk has at least one ex, you're not his first. And he understands that he isnt your first either. Hes made peace with that and quite frankly he'd think he would be an idiot if he DID take issue with that

If your ex comes around, hes not going to care all that much on its own.. however he does seethe internally if your ex tries to make any advances towards you. He will step in, even before you have the chance to show any discomfort

Or worse, reciprocating... Husk has little tolerance for that, so that's a quick way to put the relationship on the rocks

Unless he has a reason to worry, hes going to let you act as you wish- hes not going to control you or treat you like you cant make your own choices

INJURY

He tries to keep himself together for you as he tries to stop the bleeding, but hes not going to lie to himself inside and tell him things arent as bad as they are

He may lie to you though if you ask him if he thinks you're gonna be okay... but the split second hesitation is more than enough to tell you what hes really thinking

And if you got attacked and said attacker was still in the area? Hes torn between trying to help you, and keeping an eye out for them

Theres nothing he wants more in that moment than to snap back, but you're his priority at the moment

Will drag you somewhere safer to try to conceal you, will try to stop the bleeding if possible

Emotionally shuts off but hes just barely contained enough to keep from exploding

Will turn to drinking in the days following to try to force those emotions down, they feel too raw and hes not ready to unpack that- will do this regardless of if you lived or not

NIGHTMARE

Husk has nightmares every now and then, but he doesn't like to talk about them. You wont be an exception, at least for a while... theres a chance he may eventually cave and simply.. talk.. not for comfort or reassurance, but just to get that energy out

When you're the one having nightmares, he wakes you up the second hes aware and reassures you you're still in bed

Hes not the best at being soft and comforting, so theres a chance he may come off as cold and blunt when you ask for his input and comfort on something

Which.. if you werent already used to it, you may feel hurt

Its not like he doesnt try, of course

Doesnt force you to go back to bed, will take you to the bar if you want to stay awake

[akkivee]

ik i’m not that stage btch but i’m going to pretend i am for a second and do this thread of questions lmao

1. so far, which stage play is your favourite and why??

mine is bb vs dh actually lol!!!!! ofc canon’s btch prefers the more canon stages lol but i also really love how they handled dh’s emotional beats

like!!!!! the rosho vs ichiro as produced by sasara is top tier stage moments!!!!! sasara revealing that rei was on his team and the disbelief on ichiro’s face???? and the way ichiro hit him with that yung thug look when sasara started pry???? sasara being that asshole and setting up the entire fight, cheering on rosho like his personal cheerleader???? rosho demanding (ichiro) to stop look acting like he’s just some side piece/stepping stone to sasara and that’s when ichiro properly looked at rosho, impressed as hell and that’s when their true battle started???? except sasara, the orchestrator may i remind you, could see both rosho and ichiro genuinely getting into it for the thrill of a good battle so he put a stop to it???? AND ROSHO FINALLY CALLING SASARA OUT ON HIS BULLSHIT????? AND SASARA TRIED TO APOLOGISE BUT ROSHO WASNT HAVING IT AND STORMED OFF????? AND SASARA LOOKING AT HIS FAN WHERE THE CHARACTER FOR LAUGH IS WRITTEN ON IT TO REMIND HIMSELF TO SMILE THRU IT ALL BUT HE GENUINELY CANT AND EXITS STAGE LEFT TEARFULLY ohhhhhh i’ve already written an essay and it’s only the first question let me stop lol

2. who's your favourite actor in the first generation cast? (including actors who were recast before graduation) does your favourite actor play your favourite character, or are they different?

i feel like fav actor implies i cared/knew of any of these actors before hypstage which would be very false lmao. but akira-san was a real one and fck nelke for taking his ichiro away from us, ayukawa-san was so adorable and friendly and it made his jakurai genuinely adorkable and fck nelke for making him cry, and hirono-san i will not shut up about if you get me started and fck nelke genuinely 😌

3. which stage original division is your favourite? who is your favourite original division character?

uhhh i think it’s a toss up between north bastard and d4. i love kazu so much y’all don’t even know lmao he’s ichiro’s very own unami; childhood friend who loves him very dearly (*grips heart* i…..icchan….) but has a complicated family situation that drives him to do bad things and he does his best to make sure ichiro stays out of his way bc he doesn’t want to hurt him by doing said bad things but ichiro is stronger than that stronger than him and it makes kazu want to step up so he can stand on the same stage as ichiro again AUUUUUUUUUUUGH KAZUUUUUUU—

and d4 being written as characters from the worst sides of tdd is so ingenious bro wtf 😭😭😭😭 ibuki’s drive for revenge for his older brother vs the side of him that’s just a really nice guy???? arima’s unmatched violence and the way they portrayed it as a weapon with focus???? jyobu being so into ill doc the assassin and therefore never letting sensei forget his roots???? rindo being the og chuuoku spy and therefore ramuda’s discarded predecessor???? bruh 😭😭😭😭😭😭

4. did you watch any of the 1st gen cast seiyuu x haiyuu division leader cross talks? which was your favourite?

i watched all of them and went out of my way to record the hayama✖️hirono one bc i’m very not normal about it lmao

5. did you watch any of the new cast seiyuu x haiyuu division cross talks? which was the best for you?

i watched all of them and i watch the bat one what feels like every other week lmao. i also watch the mtc one religiously lmao

6. which rep lives did you watch? which one was your favourite, and what performances or moments did you enjoy from them?

this is completely my fault but i watched all the rep lives except dh’s SFHDASGJKDAAGHJFS gomen 😭😭😭😭😭 my favourite ones were bb for its short story, bat for the performances and mtr for all around best lol. everyone’s best songs came out from the rep lives tho i hope y’all know lol

i remember loading up the mtr stream and i could tell even from being behind the screen the energy in that venue was kinda crazy and the actors were all feeding off of it which gave us some really fantastic performances lol. also 😭😭😭😭 dohifu playing around with jakurai in an adlib scene where ayukawa thru sensei confessed it’d been a very long time since someone goofed off with him like that and he could barely get the sentence out bc he was trying to not laugh and stay in character uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…………

it’s so hard talking about hirono kuukou without feeling like i’ll explode the moment i start lol but his energy levels reaching a frenzied peak where he shouted NAGOYAAAAAAAAAAA until he blacked out mid song kinda leaves an impression on you and how much he loved the role lol

that bb story was so funny lmao hey siri play ‘can’t keep it cool’ by takano akira for how badly ichiro panicked at the thought saburo got a girlfriend and how he roped jiro into pretending he’s the princess of aoyama so he could practice leaving a good impression on her (even tho saburo DID NOT get a girlfriend and quite literally broke down into tears bc his brothers are stupid and it overstimulated tf out of him lol)

7. favourite song and character from track.1:

KAZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU and my fav song is actually buster bros vs mad trigger crew vs north bastard lol. idk like, that first stage was incredible for a lot of reasons and one of those was showing how masterful the stage is juggling storylines and character beats, depicting the rap battles and all to some banger music

8. favourite song and character from track.2:

*jinpanchi voice* JINPACHI lol he’s my lightning meow meow 🥺🥺🥺 and my fav songs were blast wolf and asakusa bounce!!!!! i attempted to learn blender for the first time after watching ayukawa jakurai dance in that song, i wanted to immortalise that choreographed lean that happens in the song it’s so hhhrrghffgggnnffrff

🎶SEISEI DOUDOU MAKKOU SHOUBU ASAKUSA ONIGAWARA BOMBERSSSSS🎶

SEIYA🙌SOIYA 🙌ASAKUSA 🙌SEIYA 🙌SOIYA 🙌ASAKUSA 🙌ONI 🙌GAWA🙌 RA 🙌HAH!!!!!!!!

EVERY TIME THAT SONG ROLLS UP ON THE PLAYLIST ITS FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

9.favourite song and character from track.3:

i like danjo lol i think he’s horrible and funny!!!! his song i think also stands out to me in that play as well

10.favourite song and performance (and character i guess lol) from track.4:

i uh, don’t really remember any songs in track 4 and i also hate track 4’s main theme *wheeze* i like ramuda in track 4 tho!!! like that is a mean ramuda lol and i always respect someone who tries to make everyone as miserable as they are when provoked lol shout out to jakurai being the actual villain in that play

OH YEAH and who can forget come back to me!!!!! troy bolton wishes he had the power samatoki does in his longing for nemu song lmao

AND WAIT THE PLAY IS COMING BACK TO ME NOW LOL THE SEXY JUTO SONG FT RIO THAT WAS SUCH A BANGER BRO

11.favourite song and character from track.5:

fav character is probably rindo??? or maybe jyobu???? arima deciding gun violence solves everything is so funny tho but ibuki’s ichiro foil-ness is really peak i—

as for songs, uhhhhhhhh all of the themes???? king of kings is peak jailbreak rock like bruh and shout out to the revolution still gives me chills track 5 bro 😩🤌 immaculate work

12.favourite song, performance and moments from DH vs BB:

pls refer to the first question for my answer lmao but i can also add i really liked the reirosho talk date number. i’ve always liked that scene in canon, where rei opens up a little bit to rosho and they both are vulnerable towards each other and getting it in song and dance form with a hell of a lot of jazz was sick lol

13.favourite song, performance and moments from BAT VS M:

i don’t revisit this play much lol but i love the scene where jyushi gets separated from kuukou after they raid fragrance and jyushi has his very own shinjuku meltdown LOL. i also really liked kuukou seeing the error of his ways and in order to fix them, he decides to act like the villain he very well could be lol but jyushi the goober wrecks that vibe and hits him with the funniest kuukou impersonation LOL

14.favourite song, performance and moments from FP vs MTC:

BIZZARE DINNER FT DICE BIZARRE DINNER BI BI BIZARRE DINNER 🎶 FINALLY THE RIODICE CRUMBS THE ACTORS HAD BEEN SEEDING OUT THEMSELVES CAME THRU LOL

15.have you seen New Encounter yet? what did you think of it? who is your favourite new cast member? do they play your favourite character or someone else? what new song do you like most?

i liked new encounter!!!! i haven’t rewatched it since my first few initial watch thrus tho so i can’t remember the music all that well save for the OI OI OI parts in bat’s song and the way nakanishi-san gave it his all to fill the hole hirono kuukou left behind is commendable!!!! but the mtc actors kinda stole the show lol that samajuto cigarette kiss??? the way uehara samatoki beckoned juto over with a grunt and the tilt of his head so he could light em up???? samariou bonding in a different way from canon but hits even harder????

ik it was everyone’s first stage back and it kinda showed but there were plenty of moments that made you think ‘oh they still got it actually’ lol

16.are you going to watch grateful cypher? what do you hope to see from it?

YEAH and i’m most curious about kuukou’s writing as y’know, your local kuukou enthusiast and stalker lol. seven divisions is a lot tho, so i hope there’s focus!!! they know who they want to challenge and they pull thru on it while still feeling like there is enough pie for everyone lol

17.favourite actor, song and character from Renegades of Female:

ALL OF THEM ARE QUEENS and i’m fond of the oriwomen!!!! like i can’t really say i liked the music lol??? i did but i also didn’t lol they were bops but they sang so much but the songs were catchy god why did they sing tho the callbacks tho in nemu’s songs were so powerful otome’s could rally soldiers honobono like yaaaaaasssssss the singing tho—

18.what made you a fan of hypstage? have you ever attended a show in person (or plan to) or watched a live stream?

i’m pretty sure i’ve watched at least one stream for each show except track 5 (i was off the grid) and dh rep live (IM SORRY) i don’t plan to go to jp to watch one either, unless these new gen actors somehow blow my mind in ways the legends era never did. but that’s a tall order bc the legends era defined so much of the characters despite not being canon. it was fun seeing the way the stage grew and how the actors grew into the characters and how it kept evolving until that era’s end

2019 hypmic’s clowned on the stage upon initial announcement bc what story could they possibly tell. well lmao!!!!! track 1 set the story straight and that’s when i knew the stage had magic 😭😭😭😭

19.do you own or collect any hypstage merch? what's your favourite? what confuses you to this day? what's your holy grail item?

not really lol. i own all the dvds in season 1 and track 5 but none of season 2 (which is tragic bc i enjoyed season 2 far more 😭😭😭). i did splurge a little after bop2023 bc i believe in retail therapy lol and i care about them so much 🥺🥺🥺

does hypstage have freaky merch??? or is this bait to talk about the hypstage plastic wrap WHICH IS INGENIOUS BTW

20.have you followed any past or current actors from hypstage and seen their other work? what did you think?

i follow hirono-san wherever i can lol he’ll always be a kuukou and therefore i’ll support him 😌 i also poke around the nmcd actors works and maybe bc he’s such good friends with hirono-san, i often see fukuzawa yuu in my media too lol (he dropped a killer ep recently by the way outside of his usual group y’all should check it out)

(and watch nanashi while you’re at it it’s peak fiction lol)

21.what are your thoughts about the new original division, WESTEND-MAFIA (hachioji division)?

sick designs!!!!! as much as i hate seeing the echoes of the old oridivis lol!!!! i’m excited to see what they cook since they haven’t missed with these oridivis yet lol

22.are there any characters you wish interacted with each other more in the stage plays (or even between the stage and main canons)?

pls go back to my kazu answer from question 3 and tell me that’s not just kuukou rebranded for the stage lol. a best friend who left but suddenly reappeared??? will do anything for family??? admires ichiro’s strength and wants to stand with him on stage again??? snake imagery???? had a really fcking gay duet with ichiro????? i’m so sick they never got to interact together like yeah i get it hypmic is the samatoki ichiro show so everything’s gotta lead back to their dynamic hence why we were getting another stage with north bastard and mtc (and fp lol) but north bastards’s initials are nb and their unifying symbol were green bandanas and green is red’s complimentary colour IT WAS SO OBVIOUS NORTH BASTARD STOLE NAUGHTY BUSTERS FLOW BRO AT LEAST LET KUUKOU AND KAZU HANG OUT LOL

i’m also really sad jakurai and jinpachi never saw each other after their fall out 😕

23.is there an event in the main canon (that is, the audio drama tracks) you hope they cover in the stage plays that hasn't been depicted yet?

i wonder lol!!!! i would have loved a leaders play to balance out having a tdd play in the legends era and ig i can still ride with one now!!!! but where canon’s at with its story makes me grateful the stage rebooted bc i personally couldn’t have seen how the stage would have adapted post 2nd drb stuff with its notable lack of women and the division beef resolving itself

maybe we can get the honobono hifumi doppo dynamic in stage tho!!!! get a proper nemu and samatoki duet!!!! lol do me a solid and have samatoki and ichijiku fight over nemu we got possibilities now with proper women

24.or do you prefer when the stages have their own, separate storylines and canon? if so, what kind of story do you want to see one day?

that’s a great question lol and one i don’t think i have an answer for. like the stage thrives in a state of non-canonicity but it drives me insane that there’s a subsection of hypmic fans who look at stage kuukou and don’t see how self-immolating he can be for others and have no reason to suspect he is. he’s the coolest and most shallow version of kuukou but that’s their canon and i genuinely hate it lmao

i’m a little partial to these quasi canon stories tho!!!! like i don’t think we would have ever seen nemu rise to her current rank without the stage so it’s neat to see the stage get utilised in that way. i’m personally interested in worldbuilding details no one else would be unless they were balls deep with no plans to pull out lol so the stage can keep surprising me there

<<< FREE SPACE TO TALK ABOUT WHATEVER HYPSTAGE OR HYPSTAGE-RELATED THING YOU WANT I WILL LISTEN, NOD IN SAGE AGREEMENT, AND HIT THE LIKE ON YOUR REPLY NO MATTER WHAT >>>

I AM SO MAD WE NEVER GOT ANOTHER FULL ALBUM FOR THE LEGENDS ERA THE SECOND SEASON OF MUSIC WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN SEASON ONE BUT THE ONLY WAY TO GET THEM IS TO RIP THEM OFF THE CDS THAT COME WITH A BLU-RAY OR RECORDING THEM FROM THE PERFORMANCE ITSELF LIKE KUUKOUS SOLO AFAIK WAS NOT ON ANY CD SO YOUD HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE LIVE VERSION AND ITS SAD WE DONT GET ALL THOSE SONGS STUDIO VERSIONS ON ONE MEGA ALBUM I HATE NELKE SO MUCH WHERES MY EASILY ACCESSIBLE TO STREAM OSAKA BILLION DREAMS GODDAMMIT

25.who has the coolest mic onstage? silliest? most lethal?

i like that asakusa’s mics were all based on oni lore lol like jinpachi had an oni’s spiky club, doshiro had an oni axe and masamune fits in the silliest with a sake cup mic since oni are also known to love drinking lol

i also think kokuri’s drill mic was also silly lol and it’s so funny nobody knows why he has it

and most lethal??? gotta be arima’s gun right lol????

[kroosluvr]

sorry i feel bad for ranting on """Main"" i guess though i kinda keep this more of apersonal blog than a very polished art blog thing. under the cut

things wld be easier if i was just an oc-centric artist (which i kinda am but only to myself in my head) but it Is how it is at this point (i want to draw my ocs more but they never turn out the way i want) and theres just so much i want to draw for the silly little media franchises that happen to capture my stupid little heart and etc.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh ifeel stupid for loving too much or whatever. i dont want to throw a pity party over this either because in the end its just "who cares LOVE WHAT U LOVE DRAW WHAT U WANT" right but in the moment i feel stupid and it sucks and i hate it actually!!!!!!! and i WILL in fact keep drawing hwat i want and what makes me happy but like idkidkdidkgkhw

sometimes i cant help thinking if i was a better artist.,, like more artistically skilled........ would people really say the things they do about the things i draw

^ (Authors note: no one has been mean about the stuff i draw just. side comments i guess lol. from my friends though and not random people . so its harder to just brush off i guess)

like maybe im just not good enough yet. which is fine. spite is actually a really good drawing proponent. but its also just like . when will it be enough to be worth it? will it be worth being my friend now if im a good artist? if i draw what you want? ...........................

its obviously not discounting the people who really enjoy my art style adn what i draw regardless (which im soooo so grateful for bc i never like expect anyone to stick around sicne my fixations change like the wind) but its like... these r the people i spend the most time with . and it sucks. i have to. second guess what i say and what i type and just. ok like i know its not that serious either but i hate it i really dont like it (<- im also just socially anxious if u cant tell)

and its also like i cant just extract myself from my friend group for a while to kinda cool off (read: muster the courage to be an idiot in front of them again) bc ummmmm um i dont have many friends . they are kind of all i got. (which is nice i like small circles(?) im not good at opening up to people.) and i do admire and like them very much but then i just feel like i get bit in the ass all the time (This past month) with shit like this i guess

and honestly like. well half the reason i keep switching fixations is BECAUSE of stuff like this where i feel self conscious of """"Being obsessed"""" over One thing so much so i just immediately switch tracks so fast but its just a cycle (Which i dont see as a bad thing tbh? it keeps my art moving and things fresh so like.)

And honestly i dont really try to . be too vocal about. fandom? stuff? when im with my friends? unless they bring it up first? i got burnt so many times with my vtuber interests so like lol ive Learned. but maybe it slips out too much? bruh. my bad i guess

i have to stop thinking abt this man.., why has this happened to me so many times this past month lol its kind of ridiculous

(Im sure they dont like. mean it. right? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if they actually meant it and want me to shut up then they should just actually say so right.,

i just want to draw . its not going to stop me from drawing but damn does it really like rain on my parade or put a dent in my fender or whatever other sayings that i cant think of right now

in the end i really REALLY appreciate frm the very very bottom of my heart everyone that even remotely likes/appreciates my art (especially the persona stuff nowadays bc thats what im mainly pouring all my mental and physical and emotional into) like i really really mean it. because this stuff like my silly comics and stuff is really stuff i make for purely my own heart and just what i want to see kinda. and so it just makes me feel really warm that people also want to see it and keep seeing it and love it and everything like that. and, with all this kind of negative stuff going on i just go back and reread tags and comments and stuff and i feel encouraged to keep going and draw more and everything like that. so like really, truly, thank you. i really never thought so many people would like the stuff i make. even if its not really artistically good, or really deeply interesting, im really happy it could be something special to people out there

[tickled-2-death]

I saw your post about tma tickle requests and I have literally never thought about lonelyeyes tickles, but now I need to see Elias brought down a peg or six by his ex-ex-ex husband(soon to add another ex) who's probably at least semi-transparent and covered in fog. Bonus points for all the sass!

Attitude Adjustment

Content warnings: unhealthy relationship, dubious consent(?), tickle torture, begging, feet content specifically, not necessarily sexual but sexual acts are mentioned.

This is a tickle fic.

“Peter, I have told you this several times before, and I will only repeat myself this once. I am not going anywhere near that pathetic boat.”

Elias just can’t seem to catch a fucking break today. First it was some shipment issue at the Archives, namely involving those two identical circus freaks with some mysterious box. Then, once they finally convinced him to sign off on it (he’ll just replace whoever dies in artifact storage, no big deal), there was some petty little catfight in the archives itself. One that he, despite all the paperwork that needed to be sorted, had to go downstairs and tell Jonathan off about. That’s not to mention that his coffee was cold by the time he got back, and-

“Darling, my love, my light. You’re thinking too hard.”

… and his husband, one Mr. Peter “just fuck off out to sea and forget it all” Lukas, simply will not shut up.

Elias pinches the bridge of his nose, propped up in their lavish bed in his silk pajamas, by all means in a position to relax that he intends not to spoil.

“I can’t stand the smell”, he begins to explain, “I cant stand the Lonely, and honestly the thought of being trapped on a giant metal hunk of rubbish with you for several months on end makes me want to disappear already.”

Peter, despite his patron and what you’d expect as a result of it, nearly never stops smiling. It’s a smug little shit sort of smile, mind you, but it hardly ever leaves his face. As of now, it droops into a frown.

“Elias, if we’re going to beat our record of staying married for four months-“

“Five months. Five months is the record.”

The captain sighs.

“If we’re going to make this work for more than five months, we’ve got to accept one another’s help! I’m just trying to think of a way to cheer you up, to get some of that tension out of you, in the only way I know how!”

Elias considers this, and ultimately decides that his husband is right. He’s a snarky bastard, even worse than Elias himself at times, but he’s trying to do the right thing. It’s the thought that counts? Right???

It doesn’t really matter. 200 years and counting, and he’s never been interested in admitting his own faults. Why start now? Especially for Peter goddamn Lukas.

So the shrewish little Beholder pulls out his bitchiest of bitch voices, and simply replies; “Well, you’d hardly like it if I recommended you to take someone’s statement, or delve into someone’s personal life for an ounce of fear, now would you?”, before rolling over and turning off his bedside lamp.

Something within Peter snaps just then. Not genuine anger, or at least not the violent sort. No, it’s simply the sudden and undeniable urge to teach someone a lesson. Elias’ eyes go wide, having Known what was about to happen, but it’s too late.

Peter roughly digs his fingers into his husband’s ribs, and vibrates them between the bones with all his might.

“OH FUCK-“ is all the poor, helpless man can manage before descending into mad cackles against his will. His dignity would never allow such a boisterous display of emotion, but there’s hardly a chance to suppress it in this position.

Instinctively, he rolls onto his stomach to escape the horrific sensation at his side. However, this proves to be the worst thing he could’ve possibly done, because Peter takes the opportunity to straddle his ass and get both sides at once.

“PEHEHETER! YOU- STOHAHAP THIS AT OHAHANCE! NOW!” Elias demands through several squeals, drumming his bare feet against the mattress behind them. Hands desperately grabbing for purchase or perhaps Peter’s dastardly wrists.

He doesn’t let up, of course, and that smile is back with a vengeance.

“Hmm- what was that kinky sex term you told me about? Where you punish someone for talking back?” Peter asks, tone jovial and unclear as to whether the question is genuine or rhetorical.

Elias, in turn, accidentally projects the answer into his mind. Mouth otherwise occupied with screams of ticklish agony.

“Brat taming, that’s right! Are you going to stop being a brat, Elias? Or is your significantly larger, stronger husband going to have to tickle you until you cry? We both know I’m well trained in regards to tying knots, so you’d better keep that in mind.”

Deciding to give the ribs a bit of a break, lest he accidentally bruise them, Peter jams his fingers into Elias’ sensitive underarms. It’s absolutely delightful, the way he screams even louder and clamps his arms to his sides. As if that will help, now that the offending digits are trapped exactly where they shouldn’t be.

“NOW! YOUHOHOHOL STOP RIHIGHT NOW! I DEHEHEE- DEMAHAHAND IT!!!” Elias tries to compel, but the concentration required to do so simply isn’t there.

Peter continues to burrow his fingertips into Elias’ armpits, wiggling and scritching across the ultra sensitive skin like worms trying to dig into the earth. He flails as much as humanly possible, twisting and snorting up a storm all the while, but Peter’s legs hold firm to his hips. He’s stuck, and completely at the other avatar’s mercy.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to keep on like this, love. That is, until you apologize, and whatever comes out of your mouth even now can and will be held against you. So let’s fix that attitude, yeah?”

Elias’ laugh goes silent, eyes screwed shut rendering his powers completely useless. Not that they weren’t already, but now he can’t even read Peter’s thoughts.

Mercifully, the tickling comes to a stop after about five straight minutes of torture. Elias takes the opportunity to breath, and to pout, while Peter continues to ramble on.

“Not going to say anything, then? That’s alright, I’ve got another place in mind. Remember that one time you asked for a foot massage, and every time I pressed too light you’d kick and tell me to do better? Well, if you can’t handle a massage I’d hate to see how you’ll handle ten fingers intentionally tickling you.”

Elias uses what little of his strength he’s got left to buck his hips. Nothing happens, so he begins to thrash any way he can, kicking and babbling out a mantra of “nononono”-

But Peter is quick, and built tough like the boat that stared this whole argument. It takes about two seconds for him to turn around, placing all his weight on the trapped ankles of his smart-mouthed partner. He cracks his knuckles, gives a quick wink in Elias’ direction, and scribbles his fingers up two shaking soles.

Elias cries out, pounding his fists against the mattress. “NNOOHOHO! PETERPETERPETER- GEHEET OOHOFF- I CAHANT!”

“Are you pleading with me?” He responds, otherwise uncaring and unwavering in his assault. He wiggles his nails against the soles of one foot, and digs in between the toes of the other.

Even now, there is the slightest hesitation. But when he adjusts his position so that he can rub his beard against Elias’ trapped feet, all remaining pride goes out the window and into the endless Vast.

“PLEHEHASEPLEASEPLEASE- SOHAHA- SORRY! DAHARLINGPLEASE-“

“Trying to appeal to my humanity, darling? I should be offended you’d use such language just to get away from me and my glorious facial hair”.

Tears stream down Elias’ face. The scruffy hairs rubbing against his soles is just too much to handle. So he does the unthinkable and gives up.

“PEHEHEETEERRRR-“ is all he can manage, all he can think in the midst of this hell, and somehow it’s enough for him to get the message.

“Alright, alright. Calm down, love, let me help.” Peter soothes, giggling at the little twitches he evokes by firmly rubbing Elias’ feet of residual tingles.

Elias, on the other hand, is utterly spent. He feels heavy as a sack of bricks, completely limp and hiccuping like a maniac. Once his awful, evil husband has decided that his feet can be left alone, he starts to rub his back.

“Poor, mean little thing you are. So sensitive for such a powerful man.” Peter coos, and despite himself Elias falls asleep to the sound of his voice and comforting feel of his hands.

[kouginoa]

PSYCHO PASS PROVIDENCE (english dub) Kougami & Akane moments. (SPOILERS)

at the end i added a photo of me in akane cosplay & kou in popcorn hehe 

this is a mess sorry... 

PT.1 [ how i felt, what im feeling, what i understood and what i saw ]

where do i begin, AH, ill start off with saying psycho-pass will forever make me so happy and i will always find comfort in this show. i’m so happy to have heard the english dub cast again. 

[ i want to say, my movie experience was pretty piss poor sadly, and tbh, i could not focus AT ALL on the movie, on what i feel like was 85% of the time. there was someone in the theater that was kinda like live commenting on the movie and it was so annoying and really broke the most emotional parts. after the movie i cried quietly a bit because i really have been waiting a year for it just for it to come out and be ruined by someone who could not shut their mouth.... just a psa: if your going to see a movie, please remember the space you are in ]

this is kinda just a ramble so sorry if it doesn't make sense~ 

the movie was truly amazing and TBH REALLY HELPED ME UNDERSTAND SEASON 3 in regards to not only why Akane was in jail but to better understand Arata & Kei. which i have to say, i have gown a little more fond of Arata and makes me wonder what more he is going to do in hopefully the later movies/ or hopefully seasons 

there was a lot that happen like ginoza’s hair flying in the wind and also kogamis wet hair but yeah ill skip to the part that really made me think a lot and the part that i could not stop thinking about Akane’s note to Kougami, and the very end/ the end of the movie being him saying he will get Akane out.

PT.2 [ Akane & Kougami]

NOW Kougami and Akane. wow, the part of kougami covering her from the bomb... we love to see it. KOUGAMI CARRYING HER BRIDLE STYLE AGAIN. WE LOVE TO SEE IT !!!!!!! god,,, any moment where it was just them two i wanted to cry and scream, i really need to relive the movie again alone because it was super super good and my dumbass has a pea for a brain and felt like if  i was to have any real reaction my brother (who so kindly went with me to the movie) would just look at me. 

but really they broke my heart many many times during this movie, kougami calling akane, trying to work his way to say sorry but ended up just being a smart ass and akane saying that she wishes he just said sorry. I WANTED TO SCREAM. i feel like this film was really eveything we have been wanting to see out of the two... i really feel bad for akane i do, i don’t know how to explain it but i feel like she was really never able to truly able to talk to kou. i mean she did in the elevator and during the phone call,,, but since kou never said sorry i feel like she never got to talk to him and i felt like it was really a lot for her and what all she experienced. 

kougami saying that he lives with out regret makes me feel like is what pushed akane to do what she did, i want to say, i really wanted to cry, REALLY wanted to cry when akane wrote a letter to him, kou calling akane an idiot/fool just like she did during season one, maybe i feel like, just how much it effected akane when kou wrote her a letter it kinda had the same effect on him. akane ending up in jail really gave kougami a new push, a push he hasn't had in a while

PT.3 [Gino, Kou, Akane]

going off of that kougami’s care for akane has grown as we know it’s party the reason why he came back to Japan was a way to see her and see how much shes has changed things for the better good. but Ginoza and Kougami talking about her really was truly sweet. Ginoza adores Akane a lot, and dare i say is kinda like an unsaid older brother. i thought it was really sweet to hear that Gionza wants to protect akane and make sure nothing happens to her. but with that being said... i really cant begin to think what ginoza felt after what akane did. 

poor ginoza really, i have gown really fond of him in the years leading up to now, after really seeing and understanding how much he cares for akane and how much he wants the best out of her, and how much he wants to see her grow. the part where gionza pushes kou against the wall in anger (for akane) really was fun to see. kougami not keeping his word (we knew he wouldn't) of saying out of their hair. ginoza, what a silly man. to think kou wouldnt find his way back home.. 

PT.4 [ ill shut up now <3 ]

to end- the way the movie ended and the way season three ended makes me want to cry,, even right now, as i said before, akane gave kougami a drive that it doesn't seem like he has has for a while now. although he has always felt the need to also take care of akane this time was different, he feels like she got there because of him, so its now party his job to get her out, 

but it makes me think of the end of season three and when kougami went to go and pick her up, that, besides saying that he was there to get her he also said sorry the sorry that akane had been waiting to hear for a while... but anyways... i think this movie really helped us better understand what more akane and kougmi relationship has faced, and also i like to think this all happen and now they are on the same level and have a better understanding of each other. kougami and akane are and have for once meet as equals. 

i think, what Akane did was really really smart, a smart way to show the world what is going on behind closed doors and how the system that japan is ran on is- like what any government system is,,, flawed. but also how the Sibyl System can be a good stepping stool to an EVEN better system but there just has to be some changes . BUT i also like to believe that while the sibyl system is evil and crazy i think it has its benefits, but just needs to be used wisely and more as a (again) steeping stool rather then a latter, point being... i think in this movie thats what i feel like what was being made super clear, that there needs to be room for growth for both the sibyl system and using it as a helping hand rather than relying it to fully judge someone.

i bet none of this made any sense, im writing this at 1:15AM after a con weekend with no glasses on :D , but this was my thoughts and my opinions about the movie unbiased... i have not read what anyone else had said, i didn't want what i was thinking to be affected by anyone else. but i cant wait to read some ! i like many of you, have been waiting for this for a really long time now and tbh am super sad that the  movie experience was not 100% it wasn't only the person saying shit though-out the whole movie but it was also bad on the theater i went to part as well,,, and like i said, i want to cry, i really do, my first time seeing the move was shat on and just have a hard time remembering what happened due to my bean for a brain lol... anywho

if you have any questions regarding the movie PLEASE DROP A QUESTION IN MY ASK BOX !!!! i want to better format my thoughts and i do best with questions hehehe

as promised… me cosplaying akane (wtf face reveal !??) to the movies + kou in the popcorn 🍿

☆ love u all <3 thanks for making this place, a place where i can talk about anything regarding psycho pass, you don’t understand :,)