#i cant import sound
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trying to animate on autodesk sketchbook i think im gonna bomb my computer this shi doesnt workrkrkrkrrk UGHHHHHHH
#fucking bullshit#all of it#i cant import sound#i cant change the settings for th eframes#help!#shut up stef
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i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.
and that should be fine; but it's never fine.
i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.
for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.
we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.
i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.
restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.
#hobbies#writeblr#what stage of weirdness to write about hobbies on my hobby writing blog#although i know OBJECTIVELY i am a creative person#i often forget to label myself that bc i don't feel im an ARTISTIC person bc i don't do anything like that professionally#writing doesn't even feel like a hobby i think that surprises nobody for me to be like#it would be easier for me to stop . like. breathing.#which feels cheesy and trite but listen im running late for a meeting and all i really want to say is like#i couldn't even consider writing my hobby bc it makes my skin crawl bc it makes it sound like it's not important to me#bc we really devalue hobbies. like entirely.#it HAS to be a job. it must#also idk if this is clear but i personally get stuck in this space where i CANT create bc i am putting so much pressure on myself#to make it RIGHT#and im like ... idk i only have an hour#so probably shouldnt get involved in this thing
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I really hate that I even have to say this, but I'm going to because it's a reoccurring theme I keep seeing recently in therian/otherkin tags.
Keep your misanthropy out of the therian/otherkin community. It is not fucking welcome here.
It is insanely frustrating to see us going backwards like this! Not only that humans are not inherently evil by nature!
I'm so tired of constantly having to fish out misanthropes in my feed because you have such an insecurity with your own identity that you project that hatred into innocent people- I mean it's gotten to the point I've had to filter the tags entirely!
It is not fair and not true at all to call humans an evil race or species. If you simply just LOOK you will find kind and loving people out there, you just have to give kindness first.
I get it. People are mean. But you must also understand that meaness is not within their nature, hatred and disrespect are things that are taught by the generation before them or the others around them, it is not something they were just born with.
There is absolutely zero reason that humans as an ENTIRE species should be hated. Ever. Period point blank. Even those who identify as nonhuman, are still outwardly human, and at the end of the day you could be very well hurting your own community with your hatred! Even if humans are rude and mean to you, returning the favor is not how we will solve the problem. We must educate those who are willing to listen and ignore those who choose to hate us for existing. We must be the ones to create the peace that we all desperately fight for.
That is all I have to say. I apologize if this seems like a stream of consciousness, but this is a topic that has been bothering me as of late. Just wanted to get it off my chest.
I love and adore this community with my heart and soul but sometimes it can become upsetting to see some of us cresting more problems that should not have to be something we fight over. All I want is for us to live in peace without divide.
#therianthropy#therian#otherkin#nonhuman#alterhuman#important post#please read the whole thing#i may sound emotional but this is really something we cant leave ignored#if you are any of these and you hate humans please unfollow me#i unfortunately wont be for you#the shifter talks
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they asked luosty about the paul quote on mikksy
and he just smirks to himself as he tries to find his words to answer the question in way that gets no one in trouble
#“mikkola always likes to express himself quite /strongly/”#“it might sound angry but hes so critical of himself and his own game and its really funny”#luosty choosing his words SOOOO CAREFULLY IM CRYING#MIKKSY YOURE GONNA GET LUOSTY IN TROUBLE#IM CRYING LUOSTY IS SO AMUSED HE HAS TO EXPLAIN HIS FRIENDS POTTY MOUTH#OH THESE TWO YOU DONT KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE TO MEEEEEEEEEE#THIS IS SO FUNNY HES CRACKING THE FUCK UPPPP#MIKKSYYYYY#LOOK WHAT YOU MAKE LUOSTY DOOO#he cant keep a straight face trying to explain mikksy's mikksyisms#and who else would know a mans isms than the one you played with when you were a rookie huh#once again yt auto translate is not reliable at all and i take it with a grain of salt so please anyone come in and add to this#utterly hilarious though
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When you go into a new song what do you listen for from it? The instruments, the vocals, how the guitar or percussion are doing, etc
I'm often grabbed by a strong, unconventional melody, I'm particularly charmed by anything in minor key. I like music that feels layer-y. I like when there's a build up to a more intense part of the song. A lot of the time though what I like in a song is really on a case by case basis! This sort of tugging, swelling feeling in my chest. oh also I love really crunchy grimy bass. and a danceable rhythm (though thats not a requirement).
I love love wistful songs! i love stuff I could listen to on the bus ride home, when it's dark. I love aching or conflicted feelings in a song. I love when a song has voice samples from films
#im just listing some things i like#i know a bit abt music theory but not enough to really sound very intelligent abt it. a lot of my enjoyment of music is abt feelings#also im still tipsy and cant give the most articulate answer anyways#i like good vocals but i dont usually place that much importance on vocals themselves. more just the melody theyre conveying
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tumblr kww fandom was formed seperately from most other social media corners of the fandom. and that leads to silly things like the commonly used name "kww collab" and kenfies vs kenifies. and probably more. cedar if theres any more im forgetting that u know of say them pls
(in response to this confession)
#confessions#series: kww collab#very true! i have not interacted w ANY other part of the fandom myself#but. it fascinates me deeply#i think that like. the kww collab fandom on tumblr is innately based off the original theorisers? maybe???#like. i was the one who came up w calling it kww collab bcs we needed a tag to group all our theories! thats the origin of the name!#ship name kenfies MIGHTT have come from this blog? i have a discord message of me coming up w it on jul 1 bcs there was a confession abtthe#and kenfies is what i went with. thats the best explanation i have (the funniest part is me not even shipping them)#(an alternative was wifen (as proposed by nia))#this fandom was just innately started differently and in isolation#and its really fucking interesting#tumblr users often not using any other social media plays into it too i think ?#but. yeah i cant think of any other examples that would showcase this difference bcs as mentioned i am just not on other places LMAO#ao3 ofen being heavily associated w tumblr as WELL AS saiint havng posted a Lot of kww fanfic is also the reson why kww collab is usedon ao#anyway yep you are right. i am deeply fascinated#yet another long ramble in the tags#(yk i just realised that this sounds like im tooting my own horn and trust me chat im not sorry if it came off that way sadfhslgk.#i just SOMEHOW was vaguely important in this fandom i guess)
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People will be like “you can’t ship tacomic!!!” And then say nickloon is the healthiest ship they’ve ever seen
(Please read tags before sending any kind of hate)
#I ship one sided tacomic#please don’t hate me for saying this#also I’m not saying that taco and microphones relationship was the same as nickel and balloons#im just saying they’re both unhealthy in their own ways but are good one sided or in a more healthy environment#like post-taco-redemption (possibly) tacomic sounds pretty neat#if I do say so myself#ALSO I AM NOT SAYING YOU CANT SHIP NICKLOON ITS A VALID SHIP#me personally i like platonic nickloon#but I see the vision ok#but like….#nickel x clover#PLEASE THEYRE SO SILLY TOGETHER#anyways important tags over#osc#object show community#nickloon#tacomic#inanimate insanity#objectivesthatareobjectified
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i have stopped caring much about spoilers (tho i will not look for them nor share them nor post any until the game comes out, at which point i will stream playing it)
but this is just ... i dont know what part of current game culture has led to this but people going out of their way to illegaly sell and buy a game only 12 days before its release and showing it to the world feels so sad to me, its not even two weeks to its official release, chill and wait, what the fuck are you gonna gain from all this
#ganondoodles talks#totk#zelda#tloz#loz#botw2#important#for all the people wantign to stay away from spoilers#if you havent fitlered the tags for it yet you should now#also if you happen to be interested in watching me play it#i will start playing it on sunday after release since im away for saturday unfortunately#i will play it in german and with japanese voices if possible#literally only bc the german voice of ganondorf sounds so much like daruk i cant help but see his friendly face everytime he talks#gdfjklgndfkl
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Rhaenicent is so important to me on many levels, to the point that I feel my identity is incomplete without them. And I know that may sound silly, but Rhaenicent is not only an extremely important part of my lesbian and queer identity, but also being my 2years (and going) special interest that helped me get an autism diagnosis. The ship is my biggest comfort, and whilst my obsession with them has bordered on unhealthy at times and I’ve prioritised thinking about them over assignments or work, the comfort the ship brings me has brought me out of deep depressions and spirals.
So yea if you couldn’t tell already rhaenicent is very important to me!
#again i know it sounds silly and its like ‘bro theyre not real’ I KNOW just#let me silly okay#autism moment#special interest: doomed yuri#rhaenicent#house of the dragon#alicent hightower#alicent x rhaenyra#rhaenyra targeryan#alicent hightower x rhaenyra targaryen#they’re everything to me#but like actually like very important to me#does anyone feel the same way about them or am I just insane#lesbian#its probably the autism#how do i stop thinking of rhaenicent? trick question i cant#random rant#yappity yap yap
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my number one bone to pick with americans right now: why do "can" and "can't" sound so similar in your accents?? you have do and don't, will and won't, those don't sound the same -- and then "can" and "can plus very soft 't' sound at the end that disappears into the next word". and it's kinda important to be able to distinguish those two words you know!! why do you keep tricking me like this :,(
#im sure it sounds more obviously different to americans who are used to it but i so often cant tell the difference!!#imagine if someones like ''you can/t push that big red button'' and it was actually ''cant'' but someone heard ''can'' thats a PROBLEM! lol#context: trying to transcribe something and while its a tad less dire than the above example its still important to be sure of can vs can't#(/all light hearted)#wren speaks
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abuse, especially of the kind that donny experiences in baby reindeer, rarely manifests its effects in a way that is not complicated, or that doesn't warp one's sense of self, which is part of why i think these stories are so hard to tell, and why it can be difficult for someone without similar experiences to understand its spiderweb of effects.
a huge part of this show is donny coming to terms with his own victimhood, which acts as a great incentive for the story, as well as a doorway for the audience who may be unfamiliar with how victimhood looks when outside of the accepted parameters, the "norm". i love that this series was unafraid to explore every corner of trauma, even the ones confusing or disagreeable. the effects of trauma are muddled more often than not, and i'm glad to have that represented.
#this sounds so clinical and academic but god this series really means a lot to me#i cant imagine ripping myself open in front of the whole world to watch as richard gadd does for this series but god i admire the strength#i think this series is so important#not even joking i finished watching and a couple hours later i was writing down my own story#baby reindeer#donny dunn#television#tv#netflix
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Laying in bed sort of teaching myself to feel food i just ate digesting in my stomach and honestly? I swear I feel it and it's the coolest thing
I love my anatomy and cool strong acid and fancy musclework!
Anyone else feel it too?
#here i am sounding like a damn mad scientist or surgeon#my brain cant trick me i can feel the convulsions and the weight of the food and all the bubbles#i am taking in nutrients and breaking stuff down while keeping the important parts#also interested in: how my brain controls my body and how i can move my body heat to cold places thru touching#just talking
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it's actually so important to me that in the memory loss extras xie lian finds out he doesn't have spiritual power anymore (because he's been having sex). it means
he feels comfortable relying on hua cheng
he's able to be 'selfish', and choose what he wants rather than what other people think is correct
he's free from the responsibility of being the most powerful martial god in heaven
he's getting thoroughly dicked down
#tgcf#i speak#love to the fics that do alternate things where he still keeps it or recultivates or w/e#and initially it feels a bit anticlimactic. he just got that back!! why would he give it up!!! thats such a shame!#and then you realize you sound like a heavenly official#he doesnt give a shit#isnt it beautiful that his husband is always so close#that he doesnt feel guilty about borrowing anymore#isnt it so nice to know that given the choice between upholding an ancient promise for incomprehensible amounts of power#and fucking his husband#he fucked his husband???#slay king#removing the shackle 1) gave him enough power to defeat jun wu and 2) removed the last marks of control that jun wu had#it was about xie lian's freedom and love empowering him#i'd argue that the main point was not the achievement of simply becoming more powerful.#so hua cheng's third death was still hugely important even if xie lian did not keep the power#i cant imagine he has a problem with this development#hc: but gege.... your cultivation...🥺🥺 xl: i want you more hc:🤯😍#gay sex + getting to kiss gege all the time for power > any guilt he might have#thats my two cents :)#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#tgcf meta#hob#heaven official's blessing#tgcf spoilers#tgcf book 5 spoilers
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oh captain my captain i didn't know what league of legends game was when i watched arcane. so i thought the plot was alright since i didn't (still don't) know the game lore. if it wasn't basically a prequel story, trying to aim the characters at the way they are in canon, do u think the plot and character arcs would have held up alright? or does that actually make the arcane canon story worse since it wouldn't at least have the existing canon as something it needed to land at eventually as an excuse for any "out of character" decisions? thank u
i wouldnt even call it a prequel story? its like a very elaborate au in a sense, one that feels comfortable changing things to a certain extent- clothes, personality adjustments, motivations, but they still have to hit certain beats. vi has to be an enforcer, jinx has to be a wild card harley quinn type, ekkos time powers ect ect. idk WHAT it is maybe the show needed more time or tighter focus or less characters but i just felt that like, some of the story decisions directly relating to LoL lore werent outright bad but didnt have a lot of time to breathe. the standout example being ekkos time thing, where when i watched that scene i assumed it was both a stylistic representation of a fight and establishing his and jinx's prior relationship (which is kind of too little too late considering they did not fucking speak once as kids pre time skip), and then i had to get a friend to explain to me for SEVERAL MINUTES that he literally died during that fight and it was supposed to be showing his rewind thing. it just wasnt clear at all and his character would not change in the slightest if he didnt have it. but you cant NOT include it so. *
really i have no clue the full extent of the story the writers wanted to tell and how much LoL is binding their hands on story beats. and i REALLY dont want to be inflexible considering i still have a full season coming up that might make me more receptive to certain decisions. but considering how much of the cast i REALLY like just straight up are not in the game, i think they are fully capable of making a solid story completely divorced from league
*someone in the comments told me apparently that Wasnt his time thing and my original read of the scene was correct so im not gonna hold it against the show.
#basically anytime i was like huh thats weird#my friend would lean over and go thats league shit#and then i just kind of sit there. Huh#asks#Anonymous#obviously its a massive step up from league both aesthetics wise and like. as a cohesive narrative#i hate you vi undercut/dreadlocks you are so nasty#but i read like this short except drabble from her bio on the website and. look im sorry#i kind of like that she fucking sucks#it gives her a direction at least#like theyre trying to align arcane violet with the choices of a version of her that seems completely antithetical#but again i cant even get that deep into it we dont know how long her fucking enforcer phase will last!#a month? a year? who knows! we dont even know if she likes it#and LoL vi clearly revels in that kind of violence#idk something about her shittiness made her more engaging#whatever i hope in season two she loses so many fights its important to me actually#like its insane this is going to sound so fucking mean but i like her less bc she wins so goddamn much#i compare her to like. gideon nav obviously but also the protagonist of monkey man#and both of those things kind of emphasize those characters losing Hard. chapter 2 of gtn is her getting her ass beat#it just makes the wins later more satisfying#but idk maybe its supposed to be balanced by her emotional losses but the story feels so. removed from it?#spent like 7 years in prison we see none of it she comes out of there like she wasnt incarcerated in an adult facility since age 15#and now a girl she spent at the LONGEST a week with but probably closer tk 2-3 days is the same level of emotional import as her sister#SHAKING the writers i am not SOLD why is she LIKE THIS#cough. anyway
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kill yourself 👍
#rant incoming sorry#guy who lives in a very urban area with easy connected fast mail service: We dont need it !#the way ppl talk abt canada post pisses me off so much#ppl dont support any workers gripes bc they have this arbitrary hatred for their service beinf bad or slow#and just say Well fuck canada post they lose a bajillian dollars a year and also the postal workers r evil for striking near the holidays>:(#saying theyd just rather use amazon or whatever the fuck#why would u rather use the shipping company owned by one of the filthiest billionaires on the planet thats known for bad worker conditions#over the shipping thats a canadian government service that will deliver to ur area even if its not profitable#when none of the fuckass private companies wanna bother going somewhere rural. canada post will go there#‘we dont really need it’ you sound so fucking stypid and sheltered and ignorant#also ‘well i do everything over the phone we should just have everything on the phone. including the most important id documents’#are you STUPID#‘we shouldnt even use cash anymore’ soundin ass i cant fucking stand u bitches#also i genuinely dont understand why so many canadians hate canada post ive never been anything but happy w their service#im not rural so ofc its fast but like. it is so fast. nothing comes damaged. every single worker ive met is so nice.#why do u guys hate canada post so much. im ride or die for canada post atp bc she doesnt deserve the hatred#id always rather smth get delivered by canada post over anyone else. sometimes fedex boxes are beat the fuck up when they get to me#and they and amazon sometimes deliver super late at night#and sometimes say its delivered before its Actually delivered ig to fit a time guarantee on the record#and i see amazon packages sit in a warehouse for several days before shipping just bc i didnt pay for prime#which is fine bc i dont need it that fast but like. canada post would just ship it to me as soon as its ready. fuck amazon#sorry anyways. pissed off#x
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do NOT hand me the aux or i WILL start playing this shit
youtube
#lis#life is strange#i need to make a post about this but you guys ever think about how max and chloe r literally the staple of the LIS series#they created this shit yknow…#like whether you ship them or not their relationship/dynamic is essential to this franchise#you cant have life is strange without max and chloe#which also leads me to another thing about how so much of this fandom loves to ignore how fucking important max and chloe’s#relationship is in favor for their own ships. as if taking away their relationship wont make them almost literally different people#the amount of fics i’ve read where they use the bay ending as a way to “easily” ship max with someone else#and completely ignore max’s trauma and grief#but god yeah that’s a whole nother rant#that ends with me saying i hate shipping culture………#but yeah i love the sound track for these games
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