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sweetandsavageautistic · 5 years ago

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Who’s ready to lose more braincells thanks to Twitter? (CW: Pedophilia mention)

"I'm Alive Because of YOU!"

The Innocence of an adult with autism and his BFF Lost & Found EMMY ;)

Love You, Love You My Boo Bear

Mommyand (aka) #SMAARTMom

Meet My son Dustin & My Inspiration for Creating the Autism Welcomed Decal Symbol

Oh, decedents of men she loved/trusted... what a great idea!

To me, there's just something about what the innocence of a child would bring to that kind of a role. Or even a high functioning teen or adult with autism...

#WritingCommunity

Lauren, as a mother of an angel with disabilities, I would like articles about parents and adults with #Autism who share success stories. What makes a positive outcome?

Son went out with his grandad today amazing how are kids adults with #autism behave like angels for there grandparents lol.

As the parent of an adult child with autism I always tell young parents to never underestimate their child Our children CAN They are true angels sent to us by God

I worked as a parapro for three years and have seen people on every part of the spectrum- the way he spoke and carried himself should NOT influence anyone’s decision on their theory of his guilt or innocence. His demeanor is very typical of someone with high-functioning autism.

One thing I know about people with Aspergers is, they dont lie, they are often shy at 1st, but once they know you, they arent the type you ask "does my butt look big in this" coz they'll tell you outright that if does with such innocence & charm.

The innocence of people with autism is truly incomparable, it's their raw emotion that's sets them apart from the rest of the world.

@realDonaldTrump

hope you can meet Ganesh. #helpganeshmeettrump

Brother godbless ur boy.His curiosity is apparent and his calmness is heartwarming to see he realizes this isn’t going to hurt us.Autism holds a special place in my heart for my niece is also Autistic and any child,I see an innocence about them that makes me smile.Good job dad

You’re not alone , we autism moms are in this together and know exactly the heartbreak you are feeling

give it time and a lot of therapy Jenny, things will get better !! Just remember that his innocence is soo pure that he’s an angel here on earth for you

Not just autism but any diagnosis/disability. My saying is "do not look at my child w/ different eyes when u see him do something that's considered out of d norm" & also "don't break away his spirit because he can still see the Innocence in life better than you" -Margarita Rubio

Same here brother. My youngest son is autistic and I cant imagine how anyone..especially a "father" could do something like this My son has random seizures and everyone of them rips my heart out Autistic children have more heart & love than anyone on earth Innocence of autism

The ABC series "Love on the Spectrum" was / is a beautiful uplifting and inspiring work. The wonderful openness, hopefulness and general innocence of the autistic folk is a lesson for everyone. Love for everyone has challenges. I hope people don't use autism to express contempt

I love being around people with Autism. They radiate pure energy and innocence.

My son has autism and he is just beautiful in his innocence, thank you very much!!! He does not have black coal for a heart and not beholden to Satan

When Quamaine helped me with the snow shoveling. He was happy to help. I adore him and his innocence. I hope he knows that. #adultwithautism #autism #adultoconaitismo #autismo #quamaine #autismaunt #snow

Mothers of children with autism know their kids intimately because they cannot leave them with anyone. They protect their kids fiercely, because they are vulnerable due to their innocence

Sarah's effective portrayal of an autistic role clearly depicted the charm, candidness, innocence and frolicsome attitude of people with autism.

Autism. A neurological condition where purity and innocence collide to form an abstract masterpiece.

THE REAL CHAMPIONS IN THIS WORLD ARE CHILDREN LIKE KAYLENE. WITH AUTISM SPECIAL NEEDS & CHILDREN FIGHTING CANCER SO MUCH MORE LOOK AT HER SMILE SO INNOCENT

The people with autism can understand a lot of things very clearly. Autistic children tend not trust adult humans becoz for them they are constantly in movement which doesn’t allow things to sync with them. BTW they are fantastic human beings with a child like pure heart.

People with autism are the most perfect human beings on the planet to me bc they don’t bother a soul or hurt anybody an is purely innocent 💯‼️❤️

I have a soft spot for people with Autism. We aren’t worthy of their creativity, intelligence and innocence

I love being around people with Autism. They radiate pure energy and innocence.

Thank you

God bless you too!

I believe people with autism are special gifts and their purity cannt be denied]

I’ve been the happiest in my life being around people with autism. If you don’t have a friend, brother, or neighbor like them you truly haven’t experience the purity in life.

People with down syndrome, autism, etc, arent capable of hate, malice, greed, intolerance, etc. They exhibit all the things that those of us "normal" people try to be but cant. They're not equipped to be evil. They can only show purity.

I dont know, that's my take on it.

By living with people with autism, we are be able to regain the purity

True, but at the same time these aren't necessarily different things: pedophilia, anti-pedophilia & dumb-girl-philia can stem from one & the same mental trait, i.e. the idealization of childlike Innocence; which in turn is arguably a form of autism: other people can't have minds.

#Undateables #TheUndateables I adore this show. The pure honesty love and kindness of these beautiful souls blows me away

. Their innocence and hopeful view of this world is something that could teach many. Appreciate what you have

#autism #specialneeds #learningdisability

Which film? I love the innocence of kids. Every day my kids say it as it is and their attitude keeps me so grounded. We could all learn a lot from autism x

This sickens me 2 the core.Trump started this he is to blame. We are one let us not forget this. We need 2 learn again from our young who see no difference. My son with autism never sees any difference. Such innocence. The world will not change him .He listens to me I accept all

My son who has been diagnosed with #autism loves painting.He is lifting my spirits with his joy 4 his work he has done.Some he started this week & finished. R #Hamilton #Ticat #Football colors. Love the innocence its so grounding 4 me. Blessings 4 all you are doing

Pope john paul the second said children with autism were closer to god than any other. They have a innocence about them. We should take notice and learn from there how love and live

And now, some tweets from people who think Greta Thunberg is being exploited just because she's so passionate about stopping climate change:

If This Little Girl GRETA really has AUTISM How Terrible Easy For Adults To Manipulat Her IT IS A PARENTS JOB TO PROTECT THE INNOCENCE OF OUR CHILDREN IM SO ASHAMED AND SO SHOULD THE CLIMATE CHANGE COMMUNITY GOD FORGIVE HER PARENTS. THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THE DO

Democrats like John Kerry are using an innocent little girl with autism to feign innocence while the Democrats just voted to spend 738 billion dollars on environmental destruction. How ridiculous.

That's a good argument? Because it's what SHE *wants* to do? She is a child who does not yet fully grasp the perils of public life or climatology. She's also a child diagnosed on the autism spectrum. She deserves privacy and protection of her innocence. It will end poorly.

I've started to suspect she was selected for this job because of her autism. She can play innocence whenever someone publicly calls her out for the childish nonsense that comes out of her.

Greta is a 16-yr-old kid with autism who is being used by her parents & the crazy adults around her as a political pawn. She's not a savior. She's a kid who is having her innocence and anonymity stripped from her by a**holes pushing their stupid climate change crap.

I think she is being used. The fact that she has an Autism Spectrum Condition should be respected. She is very articulate and very focused partly because she is Greta and partly because she is autistic, but she also has the innocence of a teenager and someone with an ASD.

#climate change is real karen #autism innocence bullshit #autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #sweet and savage autistic

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sooghostwriter · 6 years ago

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CLUB ıChapter 3ı

Genre: AU. Adult. Pairing: Do Kyung Soo x OC Plot: Moon Soo goes to EXO Club (aka EXO Strip club) one day, and falls under the spell of one dancer, D.O.

Notes: Love Shot came just in time.

Chapter 3

The sound of her cellphone woke her up.

It wasn’t the alarm, so it was for sure from the hospital. She grunted her way to the desk where she left the piece of plastic. It was one of her colleagues asking for some useless information. She cursed at him, then gave him the information and then hung up. She turned around, already awaken and saw Kyung Soo moving under the sheets, stretching and rubbing his face “Want some breakfast?” She asked him. He only nodded, grunting.

She was almost done preparing the must needed food when Kyung Soo appeared, all freshened up. It was a really nice view.

He sat at the table as she served him a mug of freshly made coffee “Thanks” He said, his voice deep and a little bit hoarse. She sat next to him and gave him a signal to go ahead and eat. And he did, with a lot of gusto. That brought a smile to her face.

They remained in comfortable silence for a long while. Apparently, he was as hungry as she was, and in need of caffeine too.

“You got a call, you have to leave?” He broke the silence as he stood up to serve himself a new cup of coffee “No, it was a colleague with a question, sorry if it woke you up”

“It’s ok, did you sleep well?”

“Very well, thank you, you?”

“Same, your mattress is amazing” She answered with a smile “You have to go to the club later?”

“Yeah, by 5, I need to rehearse”

“By the way Kyung Soo, when are you performing again that song with the rain?”

“Maybe during the year, sometimes we bring back the best ones”

“Bring back that one! It was one of the best”

“I’ll keep it in mind” She thanked him, turning around to face him, and saw him biting his lip, in deep thought “What is it?” She asked, bringing him back “I have a question, I don’t know how you will take it, but I have to ask”

“Ask then” He took a deep breath and remained serious “Now that we did it, are you like…done with me?” He was faking indifference, maybe trying to light up the mood or protect himself. It was a very vulnerable question to ask, but she was glad he did it “I’m not even halfway done with you, I still have to get you to give me a lap dance” He couldn’t control his childlike laugh, lowering his head, shy "Are you over this?" She asked back, not sure of what answer she could expect "No, I'm not, but are you looking for a relationship?”

“I don’t think so, I mean, I like you a lot, but we don’t know each other well, and also, I don’t have the energy nor time for a relationship”

“Yeah, I understand, and I feel the same”

“So…we are like each other regulars” Kyung Soo gave it a little though, nodding “I like that deal”

“Deal then” Moon Soo offered him her hand, and he shook it, a playful smile started to flourish on his face “Just one thing Moon Soo, I don’t do lap dances”

“Not even me?!” She was truly hurt “No exceptions”

“Well, that chair was an exception” She let go of his hand and crossed her arms “You are right, she is different you know, we have something special”

“Lucky bitch” Kyung Soo exploded in a shy laugh again, she wanted to get one of those at least once a day.

They were already done with breakfast. She needed a shower and maybe a morning power nap because she still felt tired and her legs still felt more jelly than muscle. Yes, they had promised each other more sex during the day, and she really wanted to do so. But she was so tired, and she had the night ship that day.

But her libido got the best of her.

She took that shower, and when she came out, Kyung Soo gave her this look, and his hair looked cute, and he was wearing those glasses, and he smelled really nice, and she was done.

They did it twice before lunch.

One more time after lunch. “Want me to drop you at your place?” She offered him, as she was putting on her clothes “I don’t think I can make it, but you could drop me at the club”

“Sure!”

It was nice that the club was just on the way to the hospital. Two of Kyung Soo’s jobs were on her way. She liked that she could help him by giving him a ride, so he didn’t have to spend money and time in transportation.

She parked in front of the club, just where the alley was. She saw in the corner of her eye a group of men chatting at the stairs in the backdoor of the club.

Kyung Soo grabbed his bag and jacket and grasped the handle of his door “I would kiss you goodbye, but the guys are there, and they are not going to leave me alone if they see us kissing”

“I can fix that” She turned on the engine of the car again and drove ahead, just a couple of meters until they couldn't be seen “See?” Kyung Soo laughed and pulled her by the nape. The kiss was long and slow. At some point, Kyung Soo’s hand even caressed her chest teasingly. He groaned suddenly, moving apart. She was left kissing the air “Shit, I just remembered what we did here last night” He said, his ears red “Just now?! that’s all I have been thinking about since we got in!” Kyung Soo laughed again and dropped another kiss on her lips “Bye” He said, caressing her cheek “Bye” She answered, her voice almost a whisper.

She was tempted to ask him when they would meet again but concluded that it was better to wait for it. Let’s see who breaks first.

Most definitely it would be her.

In the end, both broke at the same time.

Kyung Soo texted asking her if he left a pair of pants at her place. There were no pants at her house. To which he answered.

– Oh ok, anyway, wanna go for dinner this week? – She laughed as she was cleaning an ugly cut on a whiny teenager “Doctor, can you not do that meanwhile you are taking care of my wound?”

“Can you not fall down the stairs for bullying a classmate like a jackass?” He winced again because she put a bit too much pressure on the wound. She answered Kyung Soo.

– Dinner sounds nice, want me to pick you up at the club?-

- Sure, I’ll be done by 12 –

- Midnight, nice, all the good places are closed by that time though-

- Well, let’s buy something and let’s eat at your place –

- You just want me for my mattress-

- That, and what lays on top of it – She laughed again, and the whiny teenager started whimpering – Oh yeah, my duvet is very good too –

- Yeah, your duvet –

“Hey, kid, let me tell you something, stop bullying people who are better than you, and maybe, just maybe, when you became an adult you can be as manly, brave and amazing like Kyung Soo”

“Who’s that?”

“Kyung Soo?, He is going to be the end of me” She put a plaster on his wound and then moved to treat a cut on his finger “Ready? I need to put some stitches, prepare for your punishment”

“Moon Soo! Don’t bully the bully” A doctor shout from the next box “I’m not bullying him, I’m saving his finger, one bad movement and he could lose it”

“Moon Soo” Her colleague warned her again “Ok, ok, I will be good, how is my big boy doing? Does it hurt? Where? Here?” She pressed his thumb very lightly, she knew very well how much it could hurt. The young boy started crying again “Moon Soo!!”

She texted Kyung Soo telling him that she would be waiting for him at the alley.

She left the hospital and went shopping for a couple of things she needed. As she passed by the men’s section, she saw a pair of black pants. They were a bit pricy, but the quality was great, and she was sure they would frame Kyung Soo’s ass perfectly. So she bought them for him.

By 11:50 she was parked outside the club. And Kyung Soo was already out waiting for her “Did you wait too long?” She asked him when he got inside the car “No, less than a minute” He dropped his bag in the back seat and put on his seat belt. He smelled amazing and his hair was still wet. He was wearing a white t-shirt and dark jeans. Very sexy. “What do you want to eat?” She asked him as they left the club behind “Nothing to heavy, I was thinking sushi” Just what she was craving.

She took him to a Japanese restaurant that offered take out. They ordered the food and when it arrived both took out their wallets “Let me take care of this, I got good tips today”

“I bet you did, but I have no problem paying for this”

“Ok, let’s split it” She agreed, that was reasonable. They waited for their order chatting about their workday. Kyung Soo was amused by her story about the school bully, and Moon Soo was very interested in the highlights of the boy’s nights at the club.

They ate the sushi, drank a can of beer, and decided to go to bed and get to it. Moon Soo pushed him on the bed, and Kyung Soo landed gracefully, putting his hands behind his head “Strip for me” he said, sounding incredibly sexy, but looking extremely cute with his glasses and his hair fluffy “Aren’t you just being lazy?”

“I’ll show you lazy”

Kyung Soo tortured her for the rest of the night, acting lazy. Moving his fingers over her very slowly, kissing her neck and chest unhurriedly and pounding into her with sluggish thrusts. He fingered with such tortuously slow movements that it made her wonder if Kyung Soo had some dom tendencies. She kept rising, her orgasm pulling up, but never enough to finish. Each time she complained, he grinned darkly.

He really showed her how lazy he was.

Kyung Soo was playful, she realized. There were certain situations where he would feel comfortable and he would drop a joke, hint something naughty or just follow along with her jokes. She liked that. He looked serious all the time, but he was far from that.

When they were both in bed, bathed, and ready to sleep, Moon Soo remembered the gift she had bought.

Kyung Soo looked very pleased with his gift “This is great, the quality is amazing, and I think they will fit perfectly, how much do I owe you?”

“I hope you are joking with that question, let’s say you already paid with that mind-blowing, lazy sex session” He agreed with it.

She turned around to turn off her light, but Kyung Soo stopped her, patting her arm. He didn’t say anything, but Moon Soo knew that was body language for can we talk? Kyung Soo remained put next to her, turning his head to the side so he could look at her “Before we keep meeting after work, getting gifts for each other, and all that, I need to know what your position is in something”

“Tell me”

“Moon Soo, you are not going to offer to save me from this life, right?” She turned her head too, to look at him “What do you mean?”

“Well, I haven’t had this kind of relationship with someone from the audience before, but there had been fans offering to help, to take care of things, you know?”

“Like a sugar daddy”

“Exactly, and although I appreciate the gesture, I feel like despite them liking what I do on stage, they think that what I’m doing is bad, that they have to save me from there, get it?” She did. Offering him that sounded very disrespectful, Kyung Soo was only dancing. Taking off his clothing was part of the performance. There was nothing to be embarrassed about, there was nothing bad about it. “You like this life?” She asked him. Kyung Soo straightened his back and pushed up his glasses “I do”

“Are you proud of what you do?”

“Every choreography takes from two to three weeks to prepare, If I’m not working I’m rehearsing, we take care of our clothing, props, music, for us is not just about getting naked on stage, all of us have some dancing background, we like performing, and sell this fantasy, and I’m very proud of it, I like my job, is my favorite job from the four I have”

“I’m glad to hear that, but to be very honest with you, if you had answered no I’m not proud, I would have offered you to save you from this life” Kyung Soo lost all seriousness and started giggling, hiding his face on the crock of her neck “I’m just worried about your working schedule,” She said, resting her head against his “Don’t, is not that terrible” He remained hidden on her neck, his right arm resting on her waist “I still want to help you out”

“Well, you make a lot more than I do, the rich should help the poor”

“Does that bother you?” He shook his head, tickling her “No, is kind of cool, and you deserve it, you have a hectic schedule too”

“Then I’m going to keep buying you stuff, I weirdly enjoyed doing that today”

“That’s ok with me” He answered with a yawn, and she felt him heavier against her shoulder. She moved down, under the covers, bringing him with her, he cuddled against her frame, and she did the same.

She was blessed with a great night of sleep again.

Moon Soo was getting out of the operation room, craving that hour of rest at the lounge room. That hard mattress was calling her.

Just when she was taking off her crocks, she got a call from the nurse at the main desk “Doctor, there’s a delivery for you in here, you need to pay”

“But I didn’t order…wait, I’m going!” She got up fast, and ran out of the room, into the reception of the hospital “Doctor!” The young nurse called her, and the delivery man in front of her turned around. “Kyung Soo” She dashed to his side “What are you doing here?” Her voice sounded so sweet in her ears, it was a bit weird for her, she could imagine how weird it was for the nurses around her “I thought you could be hungry”

“Always, how much do I owe you?”

“I hope you are joking with that question” He answered, using her own words. She smiled at him and peeked inside the bag. He had brought her some chicken, roasted veggies and rice “Hope you like it”

“I will, you are going back to work now?”

“No, this is my last delivery, I’m going home now, tomorrow early I have rehearsal, next week we are going back to normal with something new, wanna come see me?”

“Of course, are you dedicating it to me?” He laughed, and she saw the nurses that were paying attention to them flinch in surprise, she could hear them sigh “It’s a group performance”

“Nice” He raised a single eyebrow, getting serious all of a sudden “Excuse me?” She could only laugh, and he remained serious for a second before start laughing with her “I’m going to leave you then, see you on Thursday?”

“Let’s make it Friday”

“Friday then, eat everything, goodbye Moon Soo”

“Goodbye” He bowed at the nurses at the desk and walked away “Doctor, who was…?”

“I’m going to eat this at the lounge room, bye girls” She interrupted them, grabbing her bag and walking away, almost jumping with happiness.

She dressed up again. This time she went for a red pencil skirt, a black t-shirt with a cool print on it and black pumps.

She arrived at the club around 10, and there was already a long line waiting outside. Thank god Chanyeol spotted her again and she could skip the line “Miss Kang Moon Soo, welcome”

“Thank you Chanyeol”

“Hey, why is she skipping the line?” A middle-aged woman that was standing 5th or 6th in line raised her voice, clearly mad. Chanyeol stepped out, his words playful but his stand hard “Because she can, beautiful, but don’t worry you will be inside soon, don’t get like that with me, uh?” The woman giggled shyly, and Moon Soo took the opportunity and got inside.

Sehun hugged her over the bar when he saw her “I really missed…”

“My tips, I know”

“No beautiful, I missed you, you are funny, you must have missed D.O too”

“Yes, those were 2 very hard weeks” She lied, drinking the virgin margarita that Sehun prepared for her as they were speaking “I got so many numbers during gay week, I already have a week filled with dates, and the tips are three times bigger”

“I guess everything is bigger during gay night” She joked, and Sehun answered with a loud laugh as he was preparing another drink “Today they are showing a new dance, is going to be amazing” She drank more, faking surprise.

She was on her second virgin margarita, talking to a girl next to her when Baekhyun appeared on stage, wearing a light blue suit, no shirt though, only pants and jacket “Welcome back!” Everybody cheered, and Moon Soo stood up and got into the crowd. At the back, but still with the crowd “Being with our male audience is always fun, but we missed the effervescence of our female audience, let me feel you all” Everybody started shouting and clapping, and Baekhyun opened his arms to receive said effervescence, the guy really knew how to do this “Ah, that was amazing, and my friends also missed you girls, so let’s call them on stage, because we have a very nice surprise for you, first let’s receive here our beautiful god, Kai!” That was the tall guy, Moon Soo remembered. Dressed in a three-piece red suit, no shirt of course, and blonde hair, Kai appeared waving at everybody. He stood next to Baekhyun and patted his back “Now, let’s call here the cutest of all us, Xiumin!” He appeared in a white suit, but he didn’t look cute, he looked dangerous “Now our angel, Chen!” He was new to her, maybe he always performed after D.O, so it was impossible for her to see him. He had a dainty image but walked with grace in his dark green suit, and Baekhyun was right calling him angel, his smile was heavenly “And last, because he is the best” The guys next to him nodded “The manly, the cute and sexy D.O!” He walked in, that signature humble walk that disappeared when the music started. He was wearing a navy blue suit, but with a turtle neck under it. It was so sexy. And she hated that she found him so attractive when he was completely covered. Moon Soo joined the screaming. She just couldn’t avoid it.

The five men onstage lined up, and the music started.

We are aiming at each other, and everything is frozen.

I hear your voice sounds so harsh.

From these thoughts, I begin to choke.

Oh oh oh oh oh Aye ye

With eyes closed,

Each of our hearts is tightly closed.

We are moving away from each other...

Baekhyun was in the center and the guy was a great dancer. His ego poured from his pores, and she thought it as a compliment. It was so hard to focus on only one dancer though. Kai and Xiumin moved like cats, Jongdae and Kyung Soo looked serious and so unapproachable and Baekhyun flirted with every single part of his body.

Ah~ I’m all burning!

I can not breathe, as if I was torn to pieces.

I am dying of thirst!

And just like this cup,

I’m overwhelmed

Feelings on this night …

He had commented with Kyung Soo before about how superb Kai’s performance was. And Kyung Soo had agreed with proudness. But this time it was too much. With his red suit, his long legs and his hair combed in a fancy hairstyle, Kai looked out from this world. All of them looked too good to be true, but since he was the main dancer apparently, all eyes were focused on him most of the time.

The rhythmic, catchy chorus of the song came, and the shouting went wild when their torsos started rolling with expertise. Their chests showed with proudness, all of them except one, of course. At the end of the chorus, their hands, in finger gun mode, pointed at their bulges, and there was a collective intake of air.

Confused love & hate

Beautiful memories

Painted white,

Gradually disappear …

She stopped looking at the other guys, and focused on Kyung Soo, his expression very engrossed in the choreography. It was funny how every step, was followed by a reaction from the audience, and when the 5 of them dropped to the floor with grace, she had to cover one of her ears to avoid future complications.

Even if I close my eyes and ears,

In the end, the answer is love.

Too much ego in my glass

And there is no room for compassion.

I will fill it again, let me hear it …

Now she understood why Kyung Soo rehearsed so much for this. This wasn’t a striping dance. This was real dancing. The choreography was as sexy as it was sharp.

The chorus came again, and it was more violently sexy than before. Their hips making rude movements, and Baekhyun again with that expressive face.

Their hands kept touching their chests and groins, so suggestively. The part of their chest that showed glistened under the lights. She was sure that was stripper glitter right there. It looked very enticing.

People come and go,

And you and I stay in this world together,

Slowly getting used to

To our faded feelings.

My heart burns,

My beliefs evaporate.

Just trust me

We will re-fill this glass.

I’m ready.

Kindle the fire in my heart Yeah ~

They didn’t need to be this rude. They had no mercy. And the worst was that the song was about to finish, Moon Soo was sure, but they still hadn’t taken off a single piece of clothing. Not even the jackets, they haven’t even opened a button from their jackets, and still, everybody was freaking out. Kyung Soo was wearing a turtle neck, and she was horny as hell!

By now, several women from the audience were singing to the catchy chorus. And they kept making finger guns, pointing at them, pointing themselves. Love shooting everybody. The song came to an end, with them fully dressed, girls shouting as if they were being paid to do so and the guys walking out of the stage without looking back.

It was weird how pleasurable the entire situation was. Yes, she was very aroused by the performance, adrenaline was pumping hard in her system. But also, it was so satisfying to watch a good show.

She took a deep breath and went to the bar to finish her margarita. Sehun was grinning at her, she couldn’t tell if mockingly or like an accomplice. She ignored the grin, and paid for the drinks, leaving a nice tip. She bid goodbye, but Sehun’s voice stopped her from leaving “Hey Moon Soo, Why you always leave after D.O performs?” She only raised her eyebrows. He looked at her, and she held his stare. Then his mouth opened wide “Moon Soo?! You and …really?! How?! Hey, don’t leave! you have to tell me!” She walked fast, away from the bar. Surely Sehun wasn’t going to follow her.

She went out in a hurry, Chanyeol bowed at her and allowed another girl in. She walked as fast as her shoes allowed and turned right into the alley. Kyung Soo was just walking outside the club. She reached him and grabbed his hand, pulling him with her “What happened?”

“I think Sehun knows about us, let’s go, he could have followed me” He walked with her, of course, but he didn’t look as worried “They all know I’m seeing someone, but they don’t know who”

“Well, now they will know, I’m sorry” They reached her car fast because she found a parking space on the street. She was about to get in, but Kyung Soo stopped her, grabbing her arms caringly “Oh don’t worry, it wasn’t a secret, I was just having fun seeing them wonder who was and all that”

“Really?” He nodded and smiled at her warmly “Let’s go, I need to be at work in 15 minutes”

Kyung Soo had the night shift at the karaoke place. On their way, they chatted about the show. Moon Soo wanted him to know how good it was “You liked it?” He sounded pleasantly surprised “My god, each one is better than the other, but hey, Kai in this one was really something”

“Oh yeah, he was in his element, he came out with the entire thing”

“Amazing”

“Wasn’t the entire thing super phallic?” Kyung Soo sounded really pleased with that fact, so she wasn’t going to say no. Although it got her thinking and it totally was! It was all hip movements, fingers pointing at cocks, love shot here and there, very phallic “I didn’t know Baekhyun and Chen were dancers too since I always leave when you finish your performance”

“Oh…well, they always act last because normally their performances are too risqué” Now she was curious “Next time stay,” He told her. Moon Soo parked on the street Kyung Soo told her, and she was lucky to find a free spot “Thank you for bringing me”

“Oh mister, it’s my pleasure, are you giving me the love shot?”

“I knew you were going to say something like that, hey, since you look so pretty tonight, why don’t you come in, I will be done at 3, I can invite you some drinks, and a karaoke booth”

“Really?!”

“Yeah, have a drink, relax, and I will drive you home later” She agreed immediately.

She thought she would get bored waiting for Kyung Soo, but she didn’t. She sang song after song. Kyung Soo brought her some food and an assortment of colorful drinks, half of them with alcohol in them. He would come to check on her every 30 minutes, and each time he found her a bit tipsier. She was never prone to get drunk, but tipsiness was always there, and it was her favorite state. She had fun and the next day she was hungover free.

It was a bit past three when he came back, this time wearing his normal attire “Get ready party girl, we are leaving” She stood up, losing her balance but still able to walk. Kyung Soo passed an arm around her waist and walked outside the building “Kyung Soo, can we stop somewhere for a cup of coffee?”

“Sure thing” They drove for about 15 minutes until they found a convenience store. Kyung Soo left her at the seating area and he went for two coffees and a couple of pastries “I’m a bit hurt, you didn’t put bills on my waistband today”

“You danced wearing a turtleneck, no half nakedness, no tip” He tried to contain his laugh, but couldn’t “Can you believe that I got away with it? And I got the exact same reactions and tips”

“You and your…gang exert some weird effect on us ladies, is a mystery to me” He scoffed, muttering gang under his breath. They stayed quiet for a while, drinking their coffee and sharing a chocolate muffin. She took a deep breath. A relaxed breath. Her body felt warm, her legs and arm felt a bit jelly-like due to the alcohol and the weariness of the day. But still, she felt great. She looked great, she had a great company, and she had had the most fun in a while. Since she met Kyung Soo, she started to enjoy what was left of her youth. She moved a bit closer and dropped a kiss on his cheek. Kyung Soo flinched, but then smiled “There’s your tip” She explained, and he bowed at her “I had a great night Kyung Soo, thank you”

“I’m glad, it was nice having you at work, both of them” They toasted with their cups and enjoyed the last sip of coffee “Moon Soo, today I was thinking and I remembered the day I was delivering at your hospital, that day I was shocked when you noticed me, and then proceed to greet me…I thought you were going to act as if you didn’t know me, but you didn’t, I’m used to been ignored outside the club”

“I don’t know what to say…I was hoping to see you”

“It felt nice, I’m just commenting this with you, just want you to know that it didn’t go unnoticed”

“Didn’t I come out a bit…aggressive?”

“Sure, but for good”

“I did my best to control myself”

“Well, that was some crappy job then” She slapped his arm and he laughed moving away from her.

They were parked at her building and the clock said it was 4 o’clock by now. She was now fresh as a lettuce. The coffee helped her, and they drove the rest of the trip chatting about different stuff. Nothing personal, but a lot of stories from youth.

They arrived at her building, and before they went out, Moon Soo grabbed his hand suggestively and asked him “How can I pay you for the ride?”

“The fact that you ask how, is because you are not considering paying with money” His voice was reproaching, but his face looked soft “Nah, I’m not paying with money, don’t be such a capitalist”

Kyung Soo walked her to her apartment with his hand on her hip the entire time. He was giving her support, she didn’t need it, but who was her to deny herself the nice feeling that his hand caused her. On the elevator, he kept touching her. Fixing her hair or brushing her hand with his fingers. She didn’t know if it was on purpose or it just came naturally. But again, she wasn’t the person to stop him from doing so. She didn’t ask him if he was going to stay over, it was a fact, of course.

When the elevator doors opened, Kyung Soo’s hand went back to her hip, and he pulled her closer to his side, walking outside into the hallway.

As soon as they were inside her house, their shoes off and their bags on the floor, Kyung Soo walked her against the wall, kissing her with hunger. His lips moved back and forth between her lips and neck. Her hands were already under his sweater, touching his skin, scratching his lower back “Are you drunk?” He asked, his lips close to her ear “Not at all”

“Great” He grabbed both of her hands, pinning them above her head, his body moved forward, trapping her against the wall. She was immobilized.

Moon Soo couldn’t mutter a word. Her mind was clouded by him.

Her eyes focused on his body, his movements, and those eyes that looked at her from between her legs. Her skirt was rolled up over her waist, and Kyung Soo got rid of her t-shirt and his sweater quickly. She felt so wet, dripping. And Kyung Soo made it worst with all the slurping noises he was making with those sinful lips and tongue. Kyung Soo stopped his ministrations, replacing his tongue with his fingers, moving his mouth to hers, dropping a wet kiss, that she wanted to answer, but couldn’t because Kyung Soo was gone “We always fuck after I perform, is it your kink Moon Soo?”

“You started,” She said between moans. Kyung Soo laughed darkly and posed one leg between hers, making her release a surprised moan “I love the sounds you make Moon Soo” He said, grabbing her waist, making her move her hips against his thigh “Maybe…it’s your kink Kyung Soo, fuck after you perform, to release sexual energy”

“Sexual Energy?”

“Yeah, all that raw sexuality you show on stage has to leave your body some way” She could barely form that sentence, the louder she moaned the harder he moved her hips against his leg, “I think you are right,” He said, dragging his bottom lips slowly up her chin, pulling her lower lip between his lips, sucking on it as he pressed his body closer to hers.

Kyung Soo turned her around, pressing her chest against the wall. He got behind her, posing his hand on her shoulders, moving it down her naked arms, waist and hips. One of his hands moved to the front and softly caressed her clit. The pleasure made her rock her butt against his hard-on. A low growl left his lips, and it ran down her body like a warm shower. She pressed her forehead against the wall, watching his handwork. He slid his other hand up her body and helped her take off her skirt that was getting on his way “Keep your legs widespread for me” He whispered on her ear “Wait for me, don’t move an inch” She felt him move away, for what it felt like an hour.

She could hear his ragged breathing behind her, a hand moved to her back and followed the path of her spine, and ended with a solid spank on her right cheek. She jolted in surprise, and Kyung Soo giggled darkly. She felt the sweat forming on her back and the shaking of her thighs. She couldn’t control her own breathing and the soft whimpers that left her mouth, she tried to calm herself, but the hotness of Kyung Soo’s lips and the wildness of his movements were still vivid in her body. It scared her how she was giving up her self-control. And Kyung Soo was showing a new side of him, yet another. He was ordering her around, no intention of tenderness.

It was scary, exciting and so frustrating. She loved it.

Kyung Soo’s eyes were on her now, she could feel them glued to her body, he was going to attack at any moment and that was all that mattered.

Her breathing came to a halt when she heard the sound of his belt unbuckling, and his jeans sliding down his legs. She felt warmer as he came closer to her “You better not come until I say you can” He whispered on her ear, slowly pressing his body against hers. She nodded, still unable to talk. He arranged her body, lowering her waist to make it fit perfectly with his. With no further advice, Kyung Soo pushed in, deep inside her “Fuck!” Moon Soo snapped, finally getting her voice back. His thrusting was fast and rough. His hands stayed at her hips, his grip getting stronger with each thrust. His mouth took turns between sucking her shoulder or breath against her ear. She tried to muffle her moans against her arm, but it didn’t do too much. She wanted to come. She was ready to come, her orgasm was fighting her will to follow Kyung Soo’s order. She felt how her body started vibrating, her finish announcing itself, but Kyung Soo was faster. He moved away from her, he just wasn’t there anymore. Moon Soo slid down the wall and fell on her knees. Her body just wasn’t able to hold her. Kyung Soo’s breathing came as grunts, he stood behind her, clearly as affected as she was.

Faster than before, his heat was back. He kneeled behind her, kissing her shoulder and hugging her from behind “I’m not done with you, turn around” Moon Soo did as he said. She was sure her face looked like a mess by now. Her eyes were slightly teary, and her forehead covered in sweat. Kyung Soo looked at her frowning, his stare piercing. She didn’t know what his next move was, and the uncertainty scared her for a while. Only until Kyung Soo smiled at her. A warm smile that didn’t show his teeth but softened his entire face “Put your arms around my neck” He instructed her and she followed “Now move your legs here…that’s it, I’m going to pull you up” He grabbed her thighs, and locked them around his waist and with what looked like almost no effort, he stood up, caring her “I’m going to carry you inside, people can pass by your door and they will hear you moaning and screaming…Moon Soo, say something” She rested her head against his shoulder and crossed her ankles behind his back to prevent her from falling “You are so bad Kyung Soo” He chuckled and left her body on the sofa “And you like it” He said, kissing her. She nodded, she couldn’t fool him “You’re so sexy” He whispered against her lips, and she felt her insides explode in excitement. Kyung Soo’s approval felt always so good “On your hands and knees”

Oh shit, it was on.

She didn’t hesitate. Her body suddenly gained new strength and she was back to have a bit of control over it. She positioned herself as told, wiggling her hips at him. Kyung Soo arranged himself against her, and gave her a new instruction “I’m going to put it in, and when I give you the signal, you have to start moving” He followed his command with a hard slap on her right cheek, surprise and pleasure covering the girly yelp she made.

That was the signal.

Moon Soo started moving her hips imitating Kyung Soo’s movements from before. But he didn’t want that “Slow Moon Soo, no hurry, take your time to feel every inch” She wanted to scream. This was too much for her. The number of feelings she had swimming inside of her were confusing, and this was a first, so she didn’t know how to deal with herself. But she was obedient and swallowed that salad of feeling. She didn’t want to make Kyung Soo wait. She followed his orders. And she started to move her hips as slowly as she could. Focusing on the feeling of Kyung Soo’s engorged shaft inside her and how easily it slid in and out. Kyung Soo kissed her back and pulled her by the hair, moving her closer to his chest, until they were stuck to each other “I’m almost there Moon Soo, move faster” She did as told, enjoying the slapping sounds of each thrust, how strongly he hugged her, holding her tightly from behind “Kyung Soo, please let me…can I…can I come…please” She begged, and felt like crying when Kyung Soo allowed her to do so, inviting her to come with him. Kyung Soo released her from his strong grip, grabbed her hips and started thrusting hard and fast until Moon Soo shouted in pleasure, contracting around his dick, making him finish immediately. He dropped on top of her, she could barely stand in her fours “Moon Soo, you are amazing, come here” He detached from her body and sat on the couch, bringing her with him. Moon Soo winced when her bottom rested on his thighs, the places where he had spanked her were burning now “Did I hurt you?” He asked her, kissing her forehead, cleaning the sweat with his hand and cuddling her in his arms “No, not at all” She answered with a string of voice “That was…” She didn’t need to find the words to describe what just happened because Kyung Soo interrupted her with a deep kiss “Thank you for allowing me to do it” He said, kissing the love bites that were already showing bright on her skin “You are very welcome, whenever you need it…it was a really good night” A shiver ran down her body when Kyung Soo kissed her again “Are you cold?” He asked with worry “No, it’s just an aftershock from that great orgasm you gave me” Kyung Soo laughed shily, that innocent demeanor back. The contrast of his personality always took her breath away She hid her face in the crook of his neck and released a long sight “Kyung Soo, I’m tired” The last thing she heard was something similar to an exasperated sight. He muttered something but she couldn’t grasp what he said. She had fallen asleep. She felt him trying to wake her up, but it was impossible.

She was long gone now.

#do kyungsoo #do kyung soo #exo fanfiction #exo scenario #d.o smut

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anistarrose · 6 years ago

Text

Some Sunny Day - Ch. 4: For Courtesy (Gravity Falls Same Coin Theory)

Summary: There are a lot of reasons to lie, both to oneself and to others.

Warnings: Suicidal thoughts (not acted upon), nightmares, panic attacks, self-blame

Previous / Next

The Beginning

(This is later than I expected, but it's also longer than I expected so hopefully that makes up for it.)

(The Same Coin Theory is by @dubsdeedubs and @renmorris!)

Ford associated blue light with a lot of things. With the blinding glow of the portal, with mistakes and betrayal. With the burning ray he’d shot from the memory gun, with believing his brother was gone forever.

And of course, with the outreached hand of Bill Cipher. The hand that looked like it should burn you, and did, but not immediately, and not in the way you expected.

Now, it was Stan’s hand that was ablaze in blue.

Before Ford could convince himself of what he was really seeing, his self-preservation instinct kicked in, and he found himself backing away. Involuntarily, his hand went to the gun hanging at his waist.

The part of Ford that remembered thirty years surviving in hostile dimensions told him to unholster it and shoot, to not allow for any moment of weakness and ask questions only after he’d dispatched the threat. The part of Ford that remembered the last time he’d pointed a gun at Stan told him to hug his brother and cry.

So he remained paralyzed, hand at the holster strapped to his belt, knowing neither option was a possibility but having no idea what to do instead — because what could be done when the impossible had already happened?

“Why did you stop?” a weak, scared, almost childlike voice asked him. “Sixer, w-why aren’t you running away?”

Ford felt a physical ache in his heart, and he couldn’t help but step towards Stan.

Stan flinched, and shoved his hands in his pockets — but not before Ford realized that the flames had vanished.

“You’re not on fire anymore,” he stuttered dumbly. “Stan, are — are you the one controlling —”

“No!” Stan yelled, and somehow, with that one word, he sounded even more afraid, more horrified than Ford had ever heard him, even just a few moments ago when he’d been trying to convince Ford to run and save himself.

“No, I can’t be — I’m not in control! I — I know I look like I am, but he’s just letting me do what I want because — because he’s waiting for a chance to —”

The next few words were impossible to understand through Stan’s sobbing. The only thing Ford could make out was another quiet “I can’t be” at the end, as Stan shuddered and crumpled to the ground. He looked so scared, and tired, and vulnerable…

Very slowly, very carefully, very sure that he was making a mistake but unable to stop himself, Ford put a hand on Stan’s shoulder. Stan shuddered, but didn’t seem to have the energy to push him away. Ford wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad.

“He’ll kill you…” Stan whispered.

“Stanley, listen to me,” Ford said. “I won’t let him. I swear, I —”

“Then shoot me,” Stan replied in a quiet monotone voice. He kept avoiding eye contact, but he must have felt Ford’s grip on his shoulder tighten, because he added: “I’m not worth letting Bill destroy the world again.”

“But — no! No, Stanley, you —”

“Can it, Poindexter!” Stan was suddenly full of familiar red-hot rage, his tired monotone voice replaced by a familiar anger. “I thought we already decided I was worth sacrificing! What happened to the Ford in Weirdmageddon who wiped my mind? What happened to the Ford thirty years ago, who realized trusting me was the worst mistake he could’ve ever made? Really, Sixer, my life’s worth a whole lot less than the chance to save your family! This is the best deal I ever could’ve offered you!”

A chill ran up Ford’s spine at the word deal. He let go of Stan’s shoulder, his hand trembling.

Is it even Stanley I’m talking to anymore? Has Bill taken over?

“But…” Stan went on, his voice growing softer, “I guess I didn’t make good on that deal last time, could I? I couldn’t kill him and have him stay dead.”

He cautiously raised a sleeve to wipe at his eyes.

“I’m no hero, Ford,” he whispered. “Just… just a con man. Just a liar.”

Even more quietly, so quietly that Ford wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly, Stan added: “I’m just a lie.”

And then Ford was crying too, hating himself for doubting that it was Stan he’d been speaking to. Only Stan could feel so guilty for causing Bill’s return, could hate himself that much for endangering his family.

Bill would never be able to convincingly fake that much guilt over what he’d done to the people of Gravity Falls, much less genuinely feel it. He was a skilled liar, but he could only lie so well about things he didn’t understand.

And Bill didn’t understand family. Stan did, so he cried tears that Bill never would be able to shed, tears for a brother and a niece and a nephew and a handyman that might as well have been a son, tears for a family he thought he’d failed to save.

But Ford had different thoughts. Stan had saved them once before, Stan was a hero, and if the world happened to need saving again, then they’d all do everything they could to try to save it again, dammit. They wouldn’t give up, even when one of them was convinced there was nothing that could be done. That was the Pines way — the Stan Pines way in particular.

But Ford needed a plan. Bill was warping physical reality through Stan’s form, which shouldn’t have been possible. To inhabit someone’s mind, he had to abandon his physical form — that was how the damn statue had gotten left behind, after all — and with it, abandon his ability to affect the real world. If Bill’s powers had grown, Ford desperately needed to know, but the best way to find out would be through a scan of Stanley’s mind, and that would take time to set up. He needed to make sure that Bill wouldn’t be able to do anything destructive in the meantime…

“Stanley, I…” He took a deep breath. Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm. Stan needs you to stay calm right now.

“Stanley, I have a plan. And… and I’ll warn you, you may not like certain parts of it, but it does have the advantage of keeping all of us the safest we could possibly be in this… this situation. So Stan, I need you to listen carefully, as soon as you think you’re ready to do so.”

Stan was silent for a moment, then gave a small nod. “Tell me.”

“We need to go back to the Shack,” Ford said. “The unicorn hair barrier should short-circuit Bill’s powers while I contact —”

“No!” Stan shouted. “Are you crazy? The kids are in there!”

“I know, but setting up the mind scan will take time, and it’ll be safest for you to —”

“Safest for me?!” Stan asked him. “I don’t care about me, and you — you shouldn’t either! It’s bad enough that you’re still here, but if I — if I have to watch myself hurt the kids, I — I’ll —”

“Stanley, listen,” Ford repeated. He took a risk by resting his hand on Stan’s shoulder again, and Stan frowned, but didn’t flinch away, either. “I know. I get it. If anything happened to them because of me, even indirectly, I… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, either.”

He remembered that moment in the Fearamid, when he thought Bill was going to kill Mabel before Stanley had a chance to act, when he thought that he’d lose his brother and his niece. He’d almost cried out Mabel’s name, cried it out in his real voice, not his imitation of Stan. He’d almost ruined everything.

But Stan had pulled through for all of them back then, and Ford had to pull through for Stan now. He had to. Stan had taught him so much about heroism last year; he had to put it to good use.

“I know it’s frightening to get too close to anyone,” Ford went on. “I would be afraid too. But if Bill is altering physical reality, like with those flames, then the only thing that I know for sure can stop him are the wards around the Shack. I also suspect that they might make it harder for him to take control of your body.”

The last part was really more of a hope than a suspicion, but Ford didn’t tell Stan that. If it convinced Stan that he wouldn’t have to get hurt to keep his family safe, it was worth stretching the truth. Ford could apologize later, if — no, when they were all safe and Bill was gone for good.

“I’ll contact Fiddleford and tell him to prepare a mind scan. It would take too long to remove that machine from McGucket Mansion, so we’ll have to head down there eventually, but in the meantime, it will be safest for us to wait in the Mystery Shack. Do you understand?”

Stan didn’t respond for what felt like an eternity. Ford was suddenly struck by the thought that Stan could be paralyzed, engaged in a doomed mental battle with Bill, and that he’d never get a chance to speak to his brother again before the demon took over.

“Stanley? Stanley, can you say something? Can you hear me?”

“One condition,” Stan whispered.

Ford let out a sigh of relief. Stan’s eyes were still brown with normal pupils, and his expression was still full of fear and guilt that Bill could never imitate so convincingly. “What is it?”

There was also a cold determination, which Bill could imitate, but Ford didn’t mind seeing in his brother — at least until he heard Stan’s reply.

“If I look like I’m gonna — if I look like I just might hurt the kids, or Soos, or anyone — if Bill takes any sorta control… I need you to promise you’ll shoot me. No stun setting. Just kill me.”

Ford closed his eyes, and he saw himself typing Stanley Pines into the memory gun, saw himself pulling the trigger and shooting a blue beam of light at Stan for the longest thirty seconds of his life, saw himself hugging a brother he’d thought would never remember him again.

This time, there wouldn’t even be an amnesiac shell of a man left to hug. There would be a grave.

But then he imagined Stan refusing to come back to the Shack. He imagined Stan fleeing from him, Stan trying to take matters into his own hands. Stan trying to stop Bill himself.

“Yes,” Ford answered. “I promise.”

He was pretty sure he didn’t have it in him, no matter which other lives were on the line. He’d just have to make sure that he never had to find out for certain.

He stood up, and without thinking, he offered a hand to Stan. “Come on. Let’s get back there now.”

Stan started to reach for his hand, only to freeze, and then slowly get up all on his own. He didn’t complain when Ford wrapped his arm around his shoulder, but he kept his hands in his pockets, like he was afraid that he’d accept someone’s handshake before he realized what he was doing.

There was no more of the terrible cold blue fire, but Ford shivered.

A promise is an awful lot like a deal, he couldn’t help but think.

***

The walk back went by in a heartbeat and in an eternity. Physically, Stan hardly felt his own footsteps. He moved forward without the effort that it usually took at his age, without thinking about what he was doing, just letting Ford guide him.

Mentally, he was drained. It was hard to keep track of a single thought for more than a few seconds. Echoes of things he shouldn’t have been able to hear still rang in his ears, and he tried as best as he could to block them out, but they still weighed down on him.

On the way there, Ford sent a text to McGucket. Stan could only imagine what it said.

My brother didn’t do as good of a job at saving the world as we thought. Can you help me figure out what the demon in his mind is doing now?

They got back to the Shack far too quickly. The walk had been hell, but Stan would have repeated it for the rest of eternity if he could.

“The barrier covers the back porch,” Ford explained. “Let’s just stand there for now.”

It was an attempt to make Stan feel more comfortable, and it worked a little, but probably not as much as Ford had hoped it would. Before he stepped forward, Stan looked around, making sure no one else was outside.

He didn’t need to look, because he could already see Dipper and Mabel in the kitchen, Soos in the exhibit gallery, Melody greeting Wendy as she arrived for work in the gift shop.

When he was satisfied, he closed his eyes and slowly stepped towards the Shack.

It turned out that the barrier extended a few feet beyond the porch — Stan could tell because a wave of pins and needles and then numbness ran over his body. He suddenly felt very weak, very helpless, very human.

But that was just how he’d felt for his whole life, he realized. The reality-warping power that had awakened in him was going back to sleep.

“Stan, do you think you could test whether… the fire works?”

Ford had almost slipped up and called it your fire, Stan could tell, and he hated it — not Ford for almost making that mistake, but himself, for being the type of person that his brother would confuse with the demon that had tortured him for years.

He hated himself for letting it be true.

“You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable with it. I’m very confident that we’ll be safe —”

Stan raised his hand and focused. Nothing happened except for a faint pain behind his eyes.

“Nope, nothing,” he muttered. “You’re right, Ford.”

Ford’s expression was difficult to read. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, then opened it again. “Yes, that’s… good, I suppose…”

He shook his head and mumbled: “That just… conclusively establishes that it is Bill, though, and I suppose there was a small part of me that was still foolishly hoping that it wasn’t… Stanley?! Are you alright?!”

“Huh?” Stan had been almost completely tuning Ford out.

Ford put his hand on Stan’s shoulder. “You’re shaking a lot. How are you feeling?”

“I… I dunno. Tired?” He was tired, both mentally and physically, but that wasn’t the whole story. “Maybe… kinda warm?”

“Of course, I… I can’t blame you for that. Have you eaten anything today, or drank anything?”

“Nuh-uh. But I don’t… I don’t really want any food right now.” Every noise was monotone, every color was monochrome. Stan felt burnt out.

Damn Ford for caring about nutrition at a time like this. Damn Ford for caring more about Stan’s health than the demon that could fully awaken and try to kill him at any moment. Damn Ford for caring.

“Then I’ll get you a beverage with some calories in it — not Mabel Juice, don’t worry.” Ford took Stan by the shoulder again and began guiding him towards the door. “Let’s sit you down inside, in the air conditioning.”

Stan didn’t have the energy to think, didn’t have the energy to remember why he was scared of the old cabin that was shielded off from almost all weirdness.

And then the weird people who lived in the cabin jumped out at him, and he remembered exactly why.

***

“Grunkle Stan’s been gone for a long time, don’t you think, Dipper?” Mabel asked, suddenly setting down her knitting needles. “Is that why you’ve just been pushing stuff around on your plate instead of eating?”

Truth be told, it was the glitter and chocolate sauce that were to blame for Dipper’s half-eaten waffle. Or at least, he’d told himself they were. It was hard to deny that he was pretty anxious.

“I didn’t want to sound like I was being paranoid, but… yeah. I’m getting kinda worried about him.” He checked the time on his phone, even though he’d just done so a couple seconds ago — it was 8:16. “It’s been over an hour. Stan never takes walks that long.”

“What did Ford say in that text again?” Mabel asked him. “He didn’t mention Stan, did he?”

Dipper shook his head and pulled up the text to show her. “Nope, just that he wouldn’t be back until after eight. But… I’m really starting to think that he is looking for Stan.”

Mabel frowned. “Maybe we should’ve told him more about how… weird Stan was acting.”

“Probably,” Dipper admitted. “He sounded better by the time he left, and I didn’t want Ford to overreact or anything…”

“He did leave really quickly, though…” Mabel mused. “And he was talking kinda loud. Like when he’s got a bunch of tourists in the Shack.”

It wasn’t difficult to pick up on the unspoken thought like when he’s putting on an act.

“That’s it,” Dipper decided. “I’m calling Ford and —”

He heard the back door of the Shack creak open.

“Oh, that’s probably them right now!” He gave a small sigh of relief, even knowing that he wouldn’t be able to entirely stop himself from worrying until he saw his grunkles safe and sound.

Really, Dipper had been uneasy ever since Stan had left that morning. It had almost felt like it was last summer again, like every normal occurrence was a reason to worry, like something bad could happen any time anyone left his sight..

But of course he’d just been overreacting — nothing this summer could compare to how dangerous the last had been, because now that Bill was gone…

He entered one side of the living room, Mabel a bit behind him, at the same time Stan and Ford entered the other side from the porch, and something made all four of them freeze.

Only two words were spoken, and they both came out of Stan’s mouth:

“Pine Tree.”

And before he knew it, Dipper was shoving Mabel back into the kitchen and running towards Stan and Ford, his heart pounding just as hard as his footsteps.

“Get out of my uncle!” he shouted, just as Ford yelled “Wait!” and Stan gasped and tried to dive behind his brother, only to trip and collapse to the — no, it was Bill, and he didn’t trip, he was doing that to Stan’s body on purpose —

“Don’t you dare hurt him, or I’ll —” Dipper was suddenly dragged backwards, and he almost reflexively took a swing at the person pulling him, before he could process that it had to be Ford, and he had to have a good reason for pulling Dipper away.

“Stanley!” Ford shouted, reaching towards Stan’s shuddering, prone form with his other hand. “Are you okay? What’s wrong? What happened —”

“What’s happening?!” Mabel echoed, darting in front of Ford and Dipper. “Grunkle Stan?”

The moment Mabel touched Stan, he jumped to his feet in one painfully jerky motion, and Dipper finally got a close look at his eyes — not yellow and gleeful, but brown and terrified.

“No no no no Shooting Star get away you’re not safe I could —”

“Shit,” Ford whispered flatly, then with much more volume yelled: “Mabel! You need to give him space! Just trust me, please!”

Mabel took a single step back, and turned to face Ford. “But why is he calling us —”

Stan tried to make a break for it out the door, but Ford grabbed him by the shirt.

“Stan, everyone’s safe! Bill’s not going to be able to do anything to the kids!”

Dipper didn’t fully process the next few seconds. It was just too much. He barely heard Ford telling Stan that nothing bad was about to happen; barely heard Mabel asking him, panicked, if he knew what was going on; barely noticed Soos enter the room…

He didn’t hear anything until Ford put a hand on his shoulder and said: “Dipper, Mabel, Soos, I need you all to listen very carefully. At least some part Bill has survived in Stan’s mind, but Stan still has full control of his body, and he doesn’t appear to be in danger of losing control any time soon. It’s just… frightening for him, and…”

He briefly looked behind him — checking on Stan, who was sitting on his old yellow chair and staring off into space — then pulled Dipper and Mabel close to him and hugged them.

“And it must have been a terrible shock to you, too,” he added quietly. “It was all my fault. I should have sent you some warning before I brought Stan back here. I’m so sorry.”

“Is — is Mr. Pines gonna be okay?” Soos asked quietly.

“I intend to make sure of it.” Ford’s voice was equally quiet, but full of determination. “We have a plan. McGucket is working on preparing a mental scan as we speak.”

Dipper had too many questions. How did you realize Bill was still there, how are you going to get rid of him, how did he survive in the first place and how do you know it won’t happen again…

“I know that that explanation isn’t anywhere near enough,” Ford went on. “But Stan needs space right now. I promise, I’ll tell you everything I know as soon as I can.”

Dipper nodded, and Ford let go of him.

“Is there anything else we can do?” Mabel asked, and Ford sighed.

“I’ll tell you the second I think of anything.”

As Dipper walked back to the kitchen, he briefly made eye contact with Stan, who flinched and quickly turned away, a haunted, guilty look on his face. His eyes were still brown with normal pupils.

Bill is back, Dipper kept thinking to himself, never quite being able to believe it. If Ford’s plan doesn’t work, none of us are going to be safe here for much longer.

Slumping down in her seat at the kitchen table, Mabel voiced his exact thoughts. “How did everything change like this in just an hour?”

***

“Do you remember the relaxation exercises I taught you last year, to help with your flashbacks?” Ford gently asked. “Do you want to try one of them now?”

Stan shook his head. He didn’t deserve to relax. He didn’t deserve Ford’s help. He didn’t deserve to still be here, to have cheated death like he had so many times.

“Why not?”

Stan stared at Ford in bewilderment, and Ford stared right back, a pained but determined look in his eyes.

“Do you think it will make things worse, or do you… do you not want my help?”

“It — it’ll just make things…”

That was a lie. Stan knew it, and Ford didn’t know it for certain but could probably guess. All this lying was how Stan had screwed them all over, because he had to be so difficult with Ford, because he had to be the type of person who lied about everything. Because he was a weak-willed idiot who twisted the truth even when he didn’t know had forgotten what was real and what wasn’t.

Because he, Stanley Pines himself, was not the truth, not the hero his family thought he was. His very identity as others saw it, as even he was deluded enough enough to see it on some days, was nothing more than a lie.

“I don’t deserve your help, Ford,” he whispered.

Ford was quiet for a second. “I… I figured you thought something like that. But you’re wrong. This town wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for you. You’re our —”

“I knew he was gonna come back.”

Ford’s jaw dropped. “What?”

“Well, I… I didn’t know. Not really,” Stan went on. “But — but I’ve been havin’ dreams, really bad dreams, and you — you woulda figured it out if I —”

He wiped at his eyes. “If I’d just fuckin’ told you.”

“Stanley, what were these dreams like? Was Bill in them?” Ford asked quietly. His voice was even more carefully controlled than usual, in an attempt to keep out some strong emotion Stan couldn’t identify.

To be honest, he hoped it was anger. It would make things a lot less difficult in the long run. It would make certain hard decisions easier, make certain shots easier.

“I barely remember,” Stan finally answered. “Actually, I… I don’t remember at all. That was what made the dreams so… different. I forgot everythin’ right away when I woke up.”

Stan was looking down, but he could feel Ford’s stare.

“That’s all?”

“Well, I felt… really shitty whenever I woke up. And, uh, guilty.”

“So you only felt bad emotionally, not physically?”

Stan nodded, and Ford started to ask something, but Stan cut him off. “And that’s… not all, not really. This morning I… I still don’t really know what happened, but when I saw the kids I felt… shittier. And I kinda panicked, and… well, I guess you actually saw that same thing, ‘couple a minutes ago. But it happened this morning too, ‘cept I… I didn’t scare the kids as much.”

He took a deep breath. “I dunno if that’s really everythin’, but it’s everythin’ I can remember right now.”

For what must have been a minute, Ford was absolutely silent aside from the sound of his breath.

“Stanley,” he finally said, “Without having seen what I saw in the forest this morning, I wouldn’t have associated those dreams with Bill at all. Had you told me about them, I would’ve been almost certain that they were side effects of the memory gun, affecting your…”

He clearly had something more to say, but apparently chose not to say it.

“So,” Stan muttered, “you’re not even angry with me for not telling —”

“I’m fucking infuriated with you right now, Stan,” Ford interrupted.

His tone didn’t match his words; it was far too sad. “But not for the reasons you think I should be. I’m mad because you were clearly suffering, and decided you wanted to suffer alone. I’m mad because you decided you’d rather lie to me about it than accept my help.”

There was a new emotion in Ford’s voice, one that Stan could recognize from a mile away, because he hadn’t felt much else recently. It was guilt.

“Did you think I’d just make things worse? Did you think I couldn’t —”

“No!” Stan yelled, and Ford flinched. “It’s not your fault!”

“Then why did you lie, Stanley?” Ford begged him. “Please, tell me. Trust me.”

Stan took a while to think of the words he wanted to use to answer, and when he finally spoke, they still came out jumbled.

“Uh, just… you know. For courtesy.”

He looked at Ford, and Ford frowned back at him.

“I just… I didn’t want you to worry about me. Like, back when I was still rememberin’ things, you lost a lotta sleep over that. I hoped — it was stupid, I know — I hoped that this time, I could just lie to you until I wasn’t lying anymore. Until you didn’t have to worry —”

Something had changed in Ford’s expression — he was still frowning, but something about it had tightened. He hadn’t flinched, exactly, but something Stan had said had unnerved him.

And then it was gone, and the frown was all sadness and concern again.

“I should have known,” Ford said. “You thought that you weren’t worth worrying me.”

“Well, I’m not,” Stan blurted out.

“You shut your fucking mouth,” Ford snapped. “No one says Stan Pines is worthless, and that includes Stan Pines.”

“But —”

“Don’t even say it. Don’t say this is all your fault. I just told you, I wouldn’t have known it was Bill, either. You’re being too hard on yourself — that’s your only mistake.”

But I did know, Stan thought.

“Ford, I was the one having those dreams. I should been able to figure it out…”

Ford took a little longer to respond this time. “Maybe, but maybe not. There’s no way to know for sure what you might have or might not have been able to do. Please, Stan, don’t go blaming yourself for not seeing as clearly as you do now in hindsight.”

He put his hand on Stan’s shoulder. “Be honest. Would you blame Dipper or Mabel for making a mistake like that?”

Stan shook his head.

With a bit more hesitation, Ford added: “Would you blame me?”

“Of course not!”

“Then stop blaming yourself! It’s no different!”

But it was different, it was so different Ford had no idea.

“I’ll try,” Stan muttered.

“Good,” Ford said. His tone softened. “I suppose — no, I know that it’s far more difficult than I’m making it out to be, and… I probably shouldn’t have been so harsh with you. Trying to stop thinking that way is good, very good. And if I can do anything to help you… succeed, then please, tell me.”

Will I really try? Stan thought. Or will that end up being just another lie?

He didn’t even bother to wonder if he’d succeed.

At least I’m telling the truth about Bill now, right? I’m telling Ford everything he needs to know.

The knot of guilt in his stomach refused to go away.

Lie until you can’t remember what’s a lie and what isn’t.

Ford’s phone rang, and Stan flinched.

“It’s McGucket, but I can tell him to hold on for a moment if you need —”

“It’s okay. Take the call,” Stan told him. “I’m gonna… try those breathin’ exercises.”

Ford nodded, and as raised the phone to his ear, he whispered: “If you need anything, for the love of the multiverse, please interrupt.”

Stan shifted in the chair and tried to tune out Ford’s voice. Inhale, one, two, three, exhale. Inhale, one, two, three, exhale.

He remembered trying to make his mind go completely blank to trick Bill in the Fearamid, remembered visualizing himself sitting in that very chair, concentrating on the thwack-thwack-thwack of an imaginary paddleball.

One-paddle-two-paddle-three-paddle…

Stan had always been pretty good at paddleball. He was (mostly) concentrating on it now, but he if he chose to, he could do it without paying much attention, and let his mind wander while muscle memory took over. Ford, on the other hand, wasn’t necessarily bad at paddleball but could never compare to Stan. It needed to be the only thing he was focusing on, or else he’d mess up.

One-two-three one-two-three…

Stan closed his eyes.

One-two-three one-two-three…

...you know, Ford was kind of the same as far as controlling his mindscape went. He actually had a decent natural aptitude for it, but there were some things you just needed to be taught, and of course Bill hadn’t taught him anything that would be useful to deceive or resist a dream demon. Besides, while creating objects and summoning attacks was easy, it usually took centuries of practice to change your own mindscape’s layout in any significant way, even temporarily. Centuries that Ford obviously didn’t have.

One-two-three one-two-three…

Really, Bill probably should have realized something was up when “Stanford’s” mind was as blank as it was in Weirdmageddon.

One-two-three one-two-three one-two-three sixty degrees that come in threes…

It was kind of pathetic, really, how Sixer tried to guard his memories and retain control of his body once he fell asleep. And fall asleep he inevitably did, regardless of how much industrial-strength coffee he’d consumed.

Get out of here!

Bill! You lied to me!

No I’ll stop you I’LL SHUT IT DOWN

Good old Sixer, a being thought, as it came out of a trance.

And that being wasn’t Stan.

“Get out of my mind, you backstabber!” Ford’s voice was clearer now, his unkempt head of brown hair unmistakeable.

“Why should I get out?” Bill demanded. “We made a deal, Sixer! Why shouldn’t I be in your mind, huh?”

Ford practically growled — what a freak.

“You manipulated me. You lied to me —”

“I lied? That’s your issue? That I lied? Let me tell you something about truth, Brainiac.” Really, Bill was doing Ford a favor, teaching him a lesson that everyone had to learn eventually.

“Truth is a tattletale with no friends. Truth is your annoying uncle who spoils the movie.”

He threw his cane to the ground, and Ford flinched.

“Truth is a concept invented by powerful liars, in order to guilt you into giving them more power.”

Bill’s body turned red and his hands caught ablaze as he remembered a world where the truth was strictly regulated, where the moment you admitted that you knew the world wasn’t really flat, you were imprisoned.

He remembered a world, a family, that he missed despite its countless flaws, a world that he could never go back to.

“Don’t fall for the trap! Lie until what you want to be true becomes true. Lie until you can’t remember what’s a lie and what isn’t. Lie until you aren’t lying anymore.”

Sixer was shaking with rage now. “I don’t care! I’m not going to let you activate that portal!” he spat.

“And how are you gonna do that when you’re just my puppet, huh?” Bill sneered. “I mean, you don’t seriously think that postcard’s actually gonna convince your brother to come help, do you? C’mon, Fordsy, you’re smarter than —”

And suddenly there was a firm hand shaking his shoulder, a bright light being shined in his eyes, a familiar voice yelling at him.

“Stanley! Stanley, say something! Tell me you’re still here!”

“F-f-f… fuck…” Stan stuttered. “Oh no, n-no no no no…”

“Stan!” Ford’s silhouette was blurry, but his voice was clear. “Tell me what I can do!”

“Nightmare,” Stan whispered, and Ford relaxed just a little. “That was — that was one of those nightmares.”

“Do you remember what happened in it?”

Stan covered his face with his hands, not wanting to look at Ford but afraid to actually close his eyes and risk falling asleep again. “Not really, just that it was… I — I think you were in it. I don’t know.”

It was true that he didn’t know, but he could know, if he chose to try and remember. He just couldn’t bring himself to try.

Ford handed him a glass of juice — just normal apple juice, no plastic dinosaurs, but Stan’s stomach still churned at the thought of drinking it.

“I know,” Ford assured him, apparently guessing what was going through Stan’s head. “But if you think you can physically get it down without throwing up, it’ll make you feel better in the long run.”

Stan took a small sip. It tasted watered-down.

“Do you remember if Bill was in the dream at all?” Ford asked after a long pause.

“Nuh-uh. I mean, no, I don’t remember, but… he probably was.”

“That’s alright. The mind scan should be ready in less than the time it’ll take us to get to the mansion — that’s why McGucket called me — so that will be able to give us some insight.”

Stan barely heard him. “I think… I think something bad was happening to you. In the dream.”

And it was my fault. “And it was Bill’s fault.”

Ford nodded, a detached look in his eyes. “If your stomach doesn’t feel any worse, then take another drink.”

Stan wasn’t sure if he felt worse or better. Maybe a little better, but still not good. He took a slightly larger sip than the last.

“I heard you talking in your sleep,” Ford said. “I didn’t quite catch all of it, but the things I understood were… reminiscent of Bill, to say the least.”

There was something about the way Ford said I didn’t quite catch all of it that made Stan worry that Ford really had caught most of it, but was afraid to repeat it.

“Aside from a… statement I remember Bill making to me a while back,” Ford continued, “I also heard a few nicknames that Bill had always used for me —”

“Like Sixer?” Stan asked.

Ford gave him possibly the strangest look he’d given Stan all day — there was no fear, just utter confusion and surprise.

“I… um. Yes, actually? I think you — I think I did hear that, and Bill did make a habit of calling me that, I just — didn’t associate…”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’m not being clear at all. The thing is, I’ve always associated that nickname with you, Stanley. Not that Bill didn’t use it, but… well, you used it first. So when I heard you say it in your sleep, it didn’t seem out of the ordinary, until you kept talking and I overheard a bit more of the context…”

“Oh.” Stan felt like he was falling into the bottomless pit, like darkness was consuming him from all sides yet he just kept speeding up, moving faster and faster towards a terrifying terrifyingly familiar unknown, a blacked-out void of questions he should have been asking himself long ago, but had never thought about until that very moment, when they had all come at him at once.

Bill had called Ford Sixer because of the zodiac, hadn’t he? The same reason he’d called Dipper Pine Tree, Mabel Shooting Star, Soos Question Mark…

How had Stan known Bill’s nicknames off the top of his head, when he still had so many gaps in his memory of Weirdmageddon? How had he known Ford’s nickname two decades before Bill and Ford had ever met?

Time is dead and meaning has no meaning!

“I don’t wanna talk about the nightmare anymore,” he whispered.

“That’s alright,” Ford assured him. “When do you think you’ll be ready to move to the mansion?”

“Now’s fine.”

“But Stan, you’re not in any condition to —”

“I want to move, Ford. I don’t want to fall asleep again.” Which was true, though not the whole truth — Stan really would have prefered to go anywhere other than the mansion.

Ford’s eyes widened slightly in understanding, and he nodded. Of course it would be the fear of falling asleep that got through to him.

Stan was once again reminded of how much he hated Bill, of how many lasting scars that triangular bastard had left his family with.

“All right,” Ford told him. “I’ll drive you there. I don’t think I can stop the kids and Soos from coming along, but I’ll tell them to take a different car, and give you plenty of space once we get there.”

“Uh-huh. Thanks, Stanford.”

Stan was shaking when he stood up, but not from exhaustion. He desperately didn’t want to head to the machine, didn’t want to know what it would say about him, didn’t want to know how deep in his head Bill had gotten.

But the risks of not doing the scan were far too great, so without even really thinking about it, he told another courteous lie and said to Ford that he was ready.

***

“To put your hand in fire and not get burned... this is a feeling like no other.” — Stanford Pines, Journal 3

“Why is Bill lying about being happy? Um, you know, for courtesy.” — Alex Hirsch in a charity livestream

***

Thanks for reading, feedback is appreciated as always!

#gravity falls #same coin theory #stanley pines #bill cipher #stanford pines #dipper pines #mabel pines #rosalia writes fic #seriously this got a LOT longer than i expected

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