#i cant be the onyl one right .

[gobstoppr]

sorry babygirl i'd go to bed it but its my weekly half-conscious 2am music session where i listen to a song from a game i like and cry about how much i absolutely love it and i love art and i love music and i love loving art. and i express this with barely comprehenisble discord messages that 2 people read where i just send a link to the song im listening to with the caption "OUGH" and then send a bunch of fast moving gifs

[nightfallsystem]

tw stupid vent in tags

[lightthatibecome]

.

[hyunverse]

omfg i cannot even imagine moving away from the city to countryside i bet that such a difficult adjustment. NOOO you don’t sound like a brat my love it’s not your fault you grew up in a diff area !! 100% agree they just creep me OUTTTTTT. but it’s weird bc i find domesticated rats super cute and i know they’re super clean but if i saw one irl i would cry and scream and run 😀😀😀😀

OMFG RIGHT ??? I WANT TO KNOW LEE KNOWS WORK OUT ROUTINE SO BAD AND I DONT EVEN WORK OUT. also dude felix’s whole outfit in that was just tdf. honestly …. i found his lower back showing to be kinda hotter than the abs …. i’m just a sucker for dudes backs okay 😔😔. cant wait to attend you and hyunjins wedding and if you need a third pls do lmk 😇 hehe

YEP YOU GET IT !! the men who just look like the eiffel tower are the way to my heart <33333 and the ones who look dead inside w long hair and nice hands <33333 good lord bring them here RNNNN. okay short queens look at us go and flourish. and it’s cute that you’re a little taller than me hehe. AND I DID THE HAND MEASURING and they’re 15.8 cm ^_^ which is cuteeeeee. usually i don’t find myself cute but i feel like that’s kinda cute hehe. i gotta know yours now so we can compare

ALSO I DIDNT DW 🙏🏼 i treated myself to some starbucks after class anddddd now i’m getting chinese food oh yea 😎 i’m taking care of myself just for u ig 🙄. all of those foods are a 12/10, i just looked up tomyum and it looks AMAZINGGGGGGG. i love seafood and spicy so that is right up my alley yum yum yum. i want to try it now. my fave food is sushi, but i love literally everything tbh. i don’t think there’s one food that i hate (although i will say i do not like beets or radishes no matter how many times i try them). food is the way to my heart tho i love cooking and food SM but especially cooking for ppl. and i love eating w my friends and family. if food was a love language it would be mine 😇

😽😽😽😽😽😽 cat kisses 4 u. i’m so excited

to hear your hand size hehe (i’m a slut for hands it’s so bad)

- 🐈‍⬛

PLEASE RIGHT. . . imagine i’m used to seeing busy streets and skyscrapers but when i moved for uni i saw cows. COWS. the only time i see a cow at home is on a plate when it’s already become beef soup. 💀 i do Not find rats cute at all 😭 THEY FREAK ME OUT TOOOO MUCH.

talking abt lower backs. . . god i love it when they wear those shirts with open backs 🗣‼️ ALL OF EM LOOK GOOD IN THEM GOOD GOD WHOEVER INVENTED OPEN BACK TOPS NEED THEY ASS ATE 💯 yes ofc ure invited to our wedding u can become my maid of honour and no third person sorry im not poly and im greedy but i will set u up with minho fr 🤝

THE MEN WHO LOOK DEAD HELP I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONYL ONE 🤩 I GET UUU WE ARE SOULMATES!! SOULMATES, BABY! ong ur hands are smaller than mine <33 mine’s 17cm ^__^ so we have roughly about 2cm difference, that’s so cute T_T

YAYAYA tomyum is so yummy i just had it for dinner ^__^ i will gladly cook u a pot baby! i love sushi omg. . . forgot to put that in my list of fave foods. love the salmon ones sm. god i love salmon. if we meet we r having a cooking sesh fr 🤝 i love cooking. it’s theraupetic <33 now im curious, whats ur usual starbucks order? do you get coffee, or something else?

u have my hand size now :-)) thank u for the cat kissies now i present to u, bunny kissies 🐰🐇

[mrgrnch]

grinch;  but i’m not alone anymore!  and i have all of you to thank for it!  but especially this little girl right here,  *gestures to cindy*

bricklebaum;  okay that’s nice but what about ME

[sehungary]

i'm-

if you have a spotify, click this link and rb with your top lockdown songs!

[deadqueernoldor]

Quick textual warning for ed / eating disorder / unhealthy eating habits . I just need to vent/ask for advice? Idek what the fuck this here is.

So I've been underweight my whole life, right? Like 'according to my BMI I could faint any minute from malnutrition' underweight. Never had problems before beyond no muscle mass and light iron deficiency which I treat with pharmacy supplements which IG is good?? But like. All useless when you're actually trying and wanting to gain weight to a healthy level??

Anyway I got a diagnosis abt thyroid stuff that causes me to not be able to gain weight easily, paired with past anorexia and current money troubles none of my doctor's tips work. He said to "eat some more of this this and this"

my meds dont help me with the weight because I onyl eat little BECAUSE I dont have the money to spend 30€/week on groceries for one person when I know I cant eat a lot a day bc small stomach and all that fun stuff you have after not eating properly for years. I've tried eating more over weeks to get my stomach used to big portions and big meals thrice daily rather than like five little meals over the day, but didnt work. Nearly caused me to relapse.

Like. How the fuck do I gain weight when i have neither money to get more supplements nor more weight-gainy foods?? (Dietitians arent really a thing where I am and I'd have to regularly drive 4h to find one that isnt covered by my insurance so that's out of the question too for help)

Tips??

[movinglaciers]

lateposting oversharing to the tumblr void bc i’m sad

i’ve been sooooo down bad with dating like so bad. I’ve gone on 3 dates this year, all I thought went well. first 2 ghosted me. 3rd one lasted for EIGHT HOURS and he was SO romantic and kept telling me WHILE WE WERE ON THE DATE that he was having fun, and then the next day I texted him and said I want to hang out again soon and he said “I had fun too but I have a lot going on so I will have to pass” like bro??? at least he didn’t ghost me I guess but I feel like the way he said that was so fucking cruel like I’m actually so sad. WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO SOMEONE????? while we were on this fucking date he kept calling it the first date and saying other things we should do in the future and hugging me and cuddling me and kissing me like not even making out. and then we did fuck and when he left he hugged me for like a minute straight kissing my cheeks like we’re fucking dating. and then he’s like yeah actually i’ll pass. I’m actually sick like why did he ask me deep questions to open up to him and vice versa like I never want to trell anyeone important ever again. and I keep letting guys take advantage of me bc I feel like I put out and then they do this. It’s so discouraging and I’m so ugly and obviously don’t have a good personality bc all these dates fail and I’m so sick of dating apps but I’m literally going to be alone forever at this rate likeeeee it’s kind of sick !!! I also feel like I don;t have any particularly close friend connections right now either and I just feel so lonely! I hate being young in covid times its like no one is trying to actually meet new people romantic or platonically. so I just whore myself out bc it’s the onyl way I can find any sort of connection. my body count is 16 and I’m sick thinking about it. and I see “friends” with their friend groups and im like where the fuck do you find a connection like that!!! I would kill for a friend group and extended friend group and friends of friends and to not feel so god damn lonely all the time 

I also hate my job so much like i’m actually miserable and I’m a fucking senior level being paid less than some newer entry levels and it’s so sick and I can’t afford to live! one of my 2 paychecks is exactly the price of my rent and I have such bad credit card debt right now I just really cannot get ahead. and I can’t tell my parents because they will just freak out. like I barely eat 1 meal a day and I still have nothing in my savings. and I applied for new jobs and interviewed for one and got denied and I know that’s life and it happens but god damn it made me feel so bad. no one wants me! as a friend or platonic or employee! like I literally don’t know what’s wrong with me and I feel like I’m so shut off now I barely talk to people about personal things bc I don’t want to give anyone reason to not like me

I know I need to go back on my meds I just CANt force myself too. I also can’t afford the refill. I know I need a second job but not even barista or bar back jobs will hire me. I know I need to go back to therapy but I can’t afford it cuz I can’t afford to live!!! I just cannot do this anymore. not in an unalive way but god fucking dammit when will I catch a BREAK!!!! this shits never ending and I’m only 24!!!!!!!!!! I don’t even have the resources to get myself out of this hole. part of me feels like I need to move out of philly and start fresh somewhere else but like if I can’t make friends in my own city how the fuck am I going to fare somehwere completely new. liike I think I have newish friends that im close with or so I think but then they hang out together and its last minute like oh you should come! obviously they don’t want me there.

it’s 4am and I’m sobbing crying typing this and listening to folklore and I have a meeting at 8am<3

[stardustpinkart]

Toxic Family and Friends: Steven Universe

People share there thoughts and feelings about things on Tumblr and Youtube :) Just blurt it out, and, maybe find likeminded people too? I dont know if theres a word for it but I kinda felt like it right now, and sometimes. I get a bit scared sometimes to say like, where do you start? But, hey, I figure, just say

Right now “Steven Universe” is playing on my mind. A show that has a lot of faults, which is a pity cuz it can be better. Best thing about it? Music I reckon. Cant deny the songs are really catchy. Worst? Writing.

And right now I wanna talk a bit about the sadness of Steven.

The gems... They are really, really not good people. Okay there not people I get it there aliens, but they dont even TRY to be better? The have no concept it seems of empathy, kindness, understanding, not even to eahc other. They onyl care about themslves and there problems.

Lets take “Keystone Motel” for example.Ruby and Sapphire realise theyve been making Steven feel bad, that he was to blame somehow for there fight and being assholes?...And still they make it about them. They dont apolgize or say Im sorry for making Steven feel bad, they just sort it out between themeleves and then act like the last few days havent happened at all.

There all guilty of this at one piotn or another. Dont even get me started on Pearl. She is the worst in my opion, and, well cant be helped kinda she was LITERALLY made to kiss Pink Diamonds ass?SO is her supposed “love” for her even real, or just programming? But either way she is cruel, petty, selfish.And I feel like shes got some soprt of “shield” your supposed to take into account but yeah, its flimsy and a poor excuse? “Oh no one can hate me or get mad at me, becuase Im in PAIN you have no idea what it was like.” Especially screamign at Steven “You dident even know her!” A extremely cruel thing you can say to a child and she doesnet even seem to feel the slightest remorse, much less apologize(not to mention letting him hang there when nearly falling to his death).  And like she never gets called out on her shit, it feels like, she thinks she can just do or say whatever she wants and there are no consequences, she doenste havta take into account anyone elses feelings but her own.

Well there all a bit like that but, Pearl especially.

I feel like also, if we get serious for a minute The gems dont really love him, not in any helahty sense of the word, despite what they say?

They just want him to be like his mother, EXACLTY, or at best a poor substitue becuase shes the closests thing left of her. They ignore him, they have no idea of his likes, interests what hes doing when there not with him. And only bother with him when THEY feel like it. They see him as a pesky pet at best thats also a WEAPON they need to defeat the diamonds.They DONT see Steven at all

Oh, and also, hes kinda like there short order therapist. They use him to make THEMSLEVES feel better but never ask or wonder if hes okay, much less the damage they do to him when theyve done cruel unkind acts(Amethyst morphing into his mother, KIDNAPPING him as a baby). He doesent register to them. Hes literally there JUST for them

I feel like by SU future this is really starting to effect the kid. Hes starting to see the unhealthy pattern and hes getting sick of it, that this is the “normal” and there happy for it to remain that way. But they wont ever change, there still the same selfish stupid creatures they always have been, even by the end. I dont feel like they apologized and still make it about them even when he changes into a Kaiju. That ending was VERY dissapionting in this sense, they still dont take responbility or try to be better people, for all there lip service about “love and peace and understanding”

Anyone thinks or feels similiar, I admit I’d like to know.

[kiingbiing]

bro Please show us ur ocs what

gladly

just know that names will change bevause i have too many characters woops (im a bad character maker lol)

i made them children who murder but now i dont know what to do with them, soon i will make a story for them

king and jester raise a baby and fall inlove :]

theyre originally humans but with a potion gone wrong, they end up as animals and now they have to work together to turn themselves back, also the snake works with the law and the mouse is a crook

dnd character, but i never got to play him cause i never played dnd, lol, one day, i will

ethan works at a cafe and got turned into a vampire, carter is a monster hunter and wendy is his assisstant. carter has the hots for ethan and ethan doesnt want to acknolwedge his existence. maggie and callie is ethan’s friend, barry LIKES wendy

the triplets were inspired by moosop ngl, but i do remember making triplets in 5th grade lol

inspired by tarzan, but i changed the story cause i made these characters when i was younger and i cant abandon them. meriam raised talia (i changed her name) when she decided to leave london and live in the jungle. talia barely speaks because her speech isnt good. mark comes to visit his mother and to try and see if the island can be used for good money, mark and talia hate each other for this fact.

made this in 4th grade cause my first lesbian ship was bubbaline and i was like, i dont have enough lesbian ships, gotta make my own then,

no name for them but its set in the philippines, inspired by our monsters :]

a fellow monster has to be in love with their food

fairly odd parents oc, josh and penny got adopted by this rich couple, and everything was fine till they figured out that they only got adopted because the parents would get more money from their parents if the wanted kids, this warrented a god parent and francis is here. francis HATES children and is onyl doing this because its good money. penny is too energetic, josh is the quiet kid and francis hates kids, but he can handle one, hes not gonna be able to handle 2

theres 2 stories for this, bt judas and merith were in an arranged marriage and percy became merith’s crying buddy when judas is mean, they can be in a threesome, still dont know. still have to upadte this story

dominic goes savage during the full moon and his sister is the only one who knows this secret. the two rodents have a thing for dominic

these were just random ocs with no actual plot line, dino and cloudy are buddies and they go everywhere together

the colony of ants have a thing for the ant eater, not the tables have turned lol

dad is forced to raise a baby and he cant cause hes sad depressed, and he just doesnt know what to do but he can abandon her. jerry is like, buddy, BUDDY, if u let me crash, i can help out, hes helpful, 

used to be an adventure time oc but i scrapped it, 

princess aya runs away from the royal family to find her missing sister cause she doesnt want to be queen 

she meets with red, a thief who dabbles with magic, which is illegal, 

due to unfortunate events, red helps aya find her sister

animal crossing ocs. kenny and lola are dating :]

one and two are childhood friends? one was mean and two got depressed, but now one is trying to make up for it

kylan is failing his class, so richard has to tutor him to make sure hes on the right track, kylan just doesnt want to do anything with him, and when he realises that richard has a hard time making friends, he makes it his task to help him make a friend, in return, richard has to leave him alone

just two teenagers coming to terms about their feelings for each other.

braden never gave romance a thought until he reached middle school. he started to crush on george hard and he doesnt know how to handle this and he tries to deny it.

george is straight and is just vibing, and he thought things were fine until braden confessed his feelings.

braden is demisexual (im demi, hes very special to me)

this ones old, (also i made another oc thats named carter WOOPS)

no name (teddy) got kicked out from home when his mom figured out hes gay, and carter is a rich art student that needs a model and he ask teddy to become his model. carter pays teddy a good sum of money, (i need to work on this story woops)’

melissa is a rich blind girl and shes not allowed to party and go outside if she doesnt hire a body guard (thanks dad), she hired danny, an ex underground boxer to help her around the city. 

in this world, magic welders are getting killed because only officials are allowed to use magic. momma summons demote, a demon, with a deal that he keeps her daughter safe. demote and harper hate each other and they have to tolerate each other in order to get away from the hunters. dewey is a forest entity that latched onto harper

my little pony oc 

madison loves flowers, she tends flowers and honestly? flowers only.

valentine is a match maker and she stumbles upon madison, and her match making skills dont work on madison, just ponies being ponies :]

characters made with my friends but i lost contact with them and one day, ill work on their stories

david is in his first public school and he meets molly and he doesnt vibe with her cause she doesnt talk to him and it didnt settle with him right, so he bullies her, and when he figures out that shes deaf and maliciously bullied her, hes just, not happy and tries to make it up to her, and shes not having it

life and death, my friend wanted me to make a comic bout life and death,

just ur standard life and death ship

used to be an adventure time oc but i changed it

andrew grew up in a religious household with strict parents, making him study. hes not allowed to be with friends

margee is raised by her uncle because her dad died in a car accident,

dally has a strained relationship with his dad, his dad being an alcoholic and not taking care of his health

they were all childhood friends and then they got seperated, when they got older, they all saw each other and got together for support

(ok imm a fool and i try to make a webcomic but i keep not not finishing it so, woops)

bunny ocs when i was younger, i need to work on their stories, sorry, no other info except they want to beat each other lol

cupid accidentally shots an arrown at ching and now they fell inlove with mar, and mar just wants to vibe and be ignored but with ching contantly trying to woo mar, cupid thinks thats enough and tried to help mar because that wasnt suppposed to happen lol

girl realises that the monsters under her bed and in her closet are real and tries to get her mother to help her.

her mother abuses her and the girl is just scared and she doesnt know what to do

(im getting lazy)

baintly wants to be a good wizard but she sucks at everything

butters(the broom) is accidentally made when she tried to summon her animal

she was about to get kicked out of school but out of sepretation, she promised her school that she’ll go get a gem from a feared dragon in order to prove her place in the school

she got lonely and got a pet bunny and fox

terry accidentally summoned perry and she doesnt know how to handle a demon in her room, ralph is terry’s friend

set in space and theyre all animals

the top are a bunch of criminals and the bottoms arer in the police forces

and they both have to work toegether to get rid of a dangerious villian set to destroy the galaxy

ok so i lost their names but basically, big demon goes to the human world and befriends a child. other demon is the right hand and he follows his master and hes just a ball anxiety. the older sister is a monster hunter and she tries to kill the big demon living in her house

[rcids-blog]

oh, look, it’s me again !! i’m cj...if ya didn’t know already. and this is my trash son reid ( meet my trash daughter tav here ). i’ll keep this part short since i already rambled on tav’s intro so we’ll just get into this !!

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS: murder mention, gang/mob, etc?

[ mr. brightside: muse d | matthew daddario, cismale, he/him ] — have you seen reid loric, the political science student around oxford yet? i hear the twenty-six year old can be manipulative and uncaring, but those who know them insist that they are observant and loyal. rumour has it that he is responsible for all the graffiti showing up on campus lately. is it true? only time will tell.

FAMILY & BACKSTORY

reid is the oldest of three. he has twin sisters that are..,,.. four years younger than him; alyssa & dana n he would honestly protecc them with his Life if he could ( a runnin theme w my charas ik dont judge meeee )

his mum & dad were the CEO of a N*ce enterprise which,,, right b4 the next sequence of events reid was just Startin to get groomed for rip me

when he was a kid his happy lil fam went to ‘murcia for holiday n all was fine and dandy ! until one of the last days

his parents went to get gas & told their kids to Hold Tight while they went inside n ,,, they did 4 the most part ‘cept lyss ... so lyss saw 2 men go in n rob the place n .......,,,...,, kill their parents n it was ... gruesome dnt talk to me....... Lyss saw it w her lIL BABY EYES

so all three of them hid whiel the robbers ransacked the place & drove away bc Smart Kids that dnt wanna die....,,...,

rip he was ,.,,..,,,13 at the time? his lil babie sisters were 9 so yah. he def remembers n my innocent lil bOY got subjected to that :(((( which turned him into a Not So Innocent boy rip

anyway ! all reid wants to do is protect his sisters bc he fucked up that one time n wasn’t able to protect them from seeing their parents get kiLLED in cold blood 

most ppl realized that reid was gna protecc his sisters tho which sort of backfired bc they just waited for him to go away to fuck with them ...,,.. usually went for lyss which like ... reid is so emo and guilty abt like ? why cant he just protecc his sisters properly?? hes so sad :(((

anyway they got thrown into foster care bc....they were kids n could not take care of themselves n for SOME reason their american relatives were like “yikes? three kids? no thx !!!!” like same bud same

it wasnt gr8 bc all their foster families were those ‘horror story’ foster families yk so @ 19 reid was like ‘lets get us all the FUCK outta here’ bc there was no fuckignngngg way he was leaving his baby sisters rip

and this is where they met their wonderful new mob dadd bc he sees them on the street and Pity and Potential yk ... 

reid rly fell into the life. it was some .. stability for him and he was gna hold on tight esp since he knew his sisters were saFE now...relatively

the onyl time reid was like “ya fuck u” to the mob dadd was when it involved his sisters bc he aint abt that life dont FUCK with his family

but uh he worked his way up in the mob p well,,,,hes def one of the top ten guys now but like…….. at the same time he knew he wasnt gna get any further w/o the help of his lovely benefactor n so

they worked together to get him accepted into oxford a-la connections n uh here he is,,,,workin on political science which he takes p seriously and … is studying way too often :/ yikes what a fuckin neRD

tryna figure out whom the fuck killed his parents on the side but No One knows dont talk to me

PERSONALITY & COLLEGE LIFE

lowkey hates america bc of the holiday-gone-wrong n his american fam sucks n ... a grudge neva gonn die

doesn’t talk a lot. keeps his words to a minimum,,...,,, to the point where u prob think that he doesnt like u. this may not show in my writin bc ... its kinda hard to keep a thread goin when someone doesnt ... respond but .... just for hc sake .... yall know....

if he DOES talk a lot he usually has an ulterior motive like...bih be careful if he’s talking to u bc .... somethin’s up

will def talk about his artwork tho just wont let u know he’s talking about his artwork. will talk shit abt it just to get u to defend it i HATE him :))))

will also study talk but like dnt try and small talk if ur studying w him bc it wont fuckigngng work

me: he doesn’t talk / also me: he talks under all these circumstances 

final circumstance(s): he cares about u. he’s super drunk !

protective af to Any and Every person dont get me started

doesn’t know u but sees that ur in a compromising situation? saved. ur hero.

dont thank him for it he doesnt want the recognition mostly bc the next day hes prob takin the other person down rip will u ever see them again? who knows !

always watching … always listening … ready 2 fuck shit up and not even let anyone realize hes doin it….

SECRET DETAILS

sO part of him was all xcmnbvmznxbcv about the mob n the .... unfortunate dealings he had to deal w because of it

so to take out his.....frustration on the ... things he has 2 do he created a “healthy” ( mostly illegal ) alternative which is where :)) his graffiti comes in yay reid

the past few months, campus has been popping up w random ass art pieces all over the place. they’re usually decent in size but def not murals; and typically evoke emotion but no one ? can rly figure out what the FUCK they actually mean xcept,, ofc ,, reid.

and he wont tell u dont talk to me hes a jerk

[anethiawoods]

long post under the cut, but someone told me that chara being the narrator doesnt make up for them being a horrible person, so heres the response i sent them (its kinda messy and has a lot of typos, sorry, but hopefully its not terrible

ok yes obviously but what the narration does do is give them character, outside of being a horrible person, and makes you question the grounds on which you are calling them a horrible person like, at least more than the other characters lets say chara is a horrible person because they hate humanity. well then i guess undynes an irredeemable character too, since hes shown on multiple occasions that she hates and despises humans, that she would gladly kill them. or maybe charas a horrible person because they wanted to kill all the monsters. but that cant e true, becuase if were oing by the narrachara theory, chara obvioulsy loves the monsters and would never want them to die! they literally gave up their life so that they could free them (though it didnt work) or charas a horrible person because in the geno run, they did kill all the monsters. but no, frisk did that. tey are in complete control. like, i mean there really isnt any evidence that chara was in control? like nothing controller-wise changes in the game. you are still frisk. and yes, flowey recognises you as chara, but he aso does that in the pacifist run so well, i guess chara did the pacifist run too, making them a goo person or maybe theyre a bad person because they stole your soul? but thats onyl after you kill all the monsters, so isnt it literally just... payback for what you did? and im not saying thats a good thing but then, again, if youre going to think charas a horrible person for that, then good luck also hating on sans and undyne or maybe charas a bad person because towards the end, they show support for your killing of monsters. but hey, i think its clear that after  you brutally killing all their friends and family their mindset has changed? like, take the dogfood in alphys's lab for example, while in pacifist run they seem positive abt it (halffull) in geno run the see it as negative (halfempty). the only reason this minute etail was put there wa to show how starkly charas opinions, beliefs and minsets hae changed after killing everyone they loved or maybe you think theyre a horrible person because, according to azzy, maybe chara, wasnt the greatest person after all EXCEPT, after the game if you go bck to snowdin mk says the same thing about undyne! or maybe you think theyre a horrible person because they manipuated asriel into agreeing with ther plan. that is, a valid reason. it is kinda up for interpration whether they were doing it unintentionally or not. i dont think they were doing it on purpose, i mean they cleearly love azzy, they were best frieds, so it shows that chara probly wouldnt manipul8 him, on purpose. also theyre what? 10 to 12 years old? im not excusing theyre actions, but i do think that act alone doesnt make them an evil demon or maybe, like you said earlier, you think theyre a horrible person because they kiled themself to destroy humanity. but i again, say that number 1, with caras clear love for monsters, theres a probabilitty that they did that fot the. that they sacrified themselves to save them. i mean idk if you mix a suicidal kid with the pressure that "theyre the hope for monsters" thats proaby not gonna go well. AGAIN NOT EXCUSING THEIR ACTIONS. the plan was shitty and stupid, but...then again, i dont think it was a worse plan then waiting hundreds of years for 7 small children to come so that you could kill them off one by one. and ALSO have you read the side effects of buttercups? that shit is nasty. i mean if they were really veangeful and ready to destroy humanity, there are easier ways to do it. stab yourself, thats quck and painless. nstead they chose a painful and slow proccess to do it. im not even sure thats related to anything just ponting that out. yah. or maybe you think charas a horrible person for poisoning asgore. Firstly, they were children? lots of children make that mistake. i didnt even know buttercups were poisonous until seeing undertle. a lot of people didnt. that isnt really evidence that it was on purpose, likely it was an accient or maybe you think charas a horrible person for laughing at peopes pain, like a sadist. but guess what? a lot of people use laughter in ut as a coping mechanism. snowys father, toriel, and even sans smiles to hide what probably is depression or some shit. and come on, all the jokes about death? i think thats evidence that chara diesnt laugh to make fun of their pain, but as a way to cope with grief. or maybe you think charas a horrible person for...other reasons... that i cant think of right now. idk. the point is a lot, of evidence that they are a horrible person can be refuted, or disproved. 

[survivor-iceland]

Ep. 13 - “So its been a dayyyyyyy Jayyyyyyy” - Jack

Timmy

How in the fuck am I still here?!?! I'm overjoyed and this is incredible. Tbh Jack totally just fucked his game but this is so good for me, even if I get out at 6, I still made it a little further than I thought I would've. Also, Raffy really popped the fuck off and it was so funny to watch. I'm just in a really good mood right now.

Maynor

I cant believe idol play was amazing but it wasnt needed. Sjdbsb it was 4-3 for Jack to go is crazy. And im so happy that Timmy stayed in the game. I dont want to play the game without him. So im super happy that he’s still in. We need to win this immunity and keep it away from zoe and Raffy. We need those options open. And also try n keep the idol away from them.

Raffy

Last night was a wild trip. Firstly, I cannot believe Ellie would betray us like that when Maynor is still in this fucking game. No one, except me, seems to think that he's going to win if we keep letting him have control of the game. It's as if I am in a game with a bunch of sheep where I am the only free thinker. This applies to Jack too since he voted out Ellie instead of Timmy in the revote. Like imagine keeping Timmy in this game when he has done so much!!! Like we just keep letting them get away with things and we just keep letting them have control of the game. I'm sick of it!!! I can only trust Zoe now since apparently everyone else is too brain dead to see the obvious threats in this game. I pretended to be fake mad to Jack in order to keep him on our side. I told him that my aggression was a ploy to make them think that he's on their side. I mean I was real mad, but he doesn't need to know that. I don't know whether the lie worked or not, but I just need to find an idol or win immunity because I am sick of Maynor and Timmy being like cockroaches in the nuclear fallout. Like??????? And don't get me started on the goat Joseph who doesn't even know how to talk to people properly. All of them can go fuck off for all I care. 

Raffy

Well I didn't find the idol, and I know that Jack is on the other path with that BS rotating puzzle. So, tomorrow I'll be doing the tundra and hopefully find it before anyone else, otherwise my time in this game is running out. I don't know how well I will do with the immunity challenge, but I have to be confident to do well. I'm praying that Zoe found something because we desperately need it if onyl to prevent Maynor from having it.  

Raffy

Also this is the mood for the rest of the game for John and Ellie and maybe Zoe if she doesn't make it to FTC with me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0U_Cdrbols

Timmy

Raffy is so fucking smug. He laughed whenever someone messed up in the challenge and basically almost cackled when Maynor and I got it. Like don’t fucking kick me when I’m down. 6th is my Achilles heel and I’m already freaking out. 

Jack

So its been a dayyyyyyy Jayyyyyyy. First Zoe comes in here like, "hey my idol still works" so my and raffy and zoe are like okayyyy we have to freaking one of us get immunity so its at least 2/3 and then zoe wins, and then moments later i finished the HELL PUZZLE WITH THE POINTY IDENTICAL LOOKING PIECES AND BACKGROUND and whoops i found the idol, so theoretically the three of us are like 3/3 safe and can vote out maynor. He's a sweet guy but like yeet. Raffy might be in trouble if zoe like wigs out and doesnt use the idol on him/ was like totally bullshitting about it? but i hope she aint cause yeah

Raffy

I'm glad that Zoe won the immunity challenge because it keeps safety away from both Maynor and Timmy. I wanted to win it, but I am proud that Zoe was able to either way. Her idol will be extremely useful going into this next round as we are planning to use it on me in order to make sure that 2/3 of us are safe tonight. Additionally, if the votes ends up tying 3-3, we can make sure that Jack is safe by revoting and keeping him in this game. Although, I doubt it has to come to that because Jack has also found an idol from the rehidden hunt. This means that all three of us will be safe going into this next tribal council unless they have an idol nullifier. Even then they still can only nullify one which means we're still the dominating force. Basically all is looking on the bright side for Raffy in this vote, and I hope things go smoothly in spite of my confidence.

Jack

I don't remember if I already made a confessional on this, but i found an idol, so now Zoe has immunity, she's gonna play her idol on Raffy, and imma play mine on me. Timmy's been hitting me and Zoe up about flipping on Raffy but we ain't doin thatttttt. Also Joseph was like "what happened in the challenge," and then was like what you thinkinnnnnnn. Maynor in general is like kinda accepted fate vibes. Hopefully everything goes well tonight.

Timmy

I’m distraught and upset. I guess it’s pretty much guaranteed that either myself or Maynor will be leaving tomorrow. I’m so sad and he deserves to stay so much and deserves to win and if he stays, I will not regret anything I did in this game. I want him to be happy and I know he belongs in this game and seeing him happy makes me so happy. 

Raffy

The plan right now is for Zoe to use her idol on me and for Jack to use his idol on himself so that we are all safe at tribal council tonight. My FTC plan right now is Zoe, Joseph, and I. I love Jack, but he needs to go because I feel like he beats me at the end. He has an amazing redemption arc, and he has pulled off so many things in his short time here without many social connections. That's pretty impressive. However, I want to take him out at F5 or F4 because I still need him on my side. My boot order currently is Maynor -> Timmy -> Jack. However, Jack is also good at challenges which means I have to pry the immunity necklace from his hands. I know I can beat him. I just have to go out there and do it. 

Maynor

Tonight might be my last night in the game and its bittersweet. I feel like i played a good game. I also feel like i was given credit for the moves Ive made. I am very proud of myself, and usually im always very hard on myself. I feel like this was my most out there game play ive had and im still very in aw that i was able to pull off a 4-3-3, vote 3-2-2 vote, able to flip Jack to vote Ellie saving Timmy, found an idol and many things. This has been a favorite game even though i might be out tonight. Like they know Ive played hard and i kept fighting to stay in this game. Tribal is going to be 3-3. We are voting jack (me timmy joseph) and (zoe raffy jack) are most likely voting for me once again. I hope. Jack has the idol cuz he did the trees path were i knew it was going to be at but my dumbass decided to do mountain instead. Jack is either going to use his idol on Raffy to try n avoid a tie or of jack plays it on himself and he negates all his votes. Either way. We are going to lose someone and they arent. So whatever happens tonight i will be content with cuz ive done everything that i could to try and survive. ❤️ Jay for having me back. Youre the best. Love you. ❤️

Maynor

My thoughts on 5 of the Final 6 people in the game: 1. Jack- oh the second boot. Was very paranoid early of this game and its understandable. Did good in EOE and returned to the game. Seemed to fall into place to Raffy’s side by not even talking to me or people who were working with me. Made his own ‘move’ by doing Ellie during F7 vote. But honestly it was not a good move for him. Even though I preached Jack has his own story. Honestly, he is still kind of a goat. No one would vote for him to win over others left in the game. Going to the end with Zoe and Raffy is his death sentence but going also everyone else in the game is his death sentence. 2. Joseph- people are saying he is a goat but that is not necessarily true. He has made moves in this game to help his position in it. He took the opportunity at f10 to make a move. Again with John vote. Dylan vote as well. Same with Jack that turned to Ellie vote off. The moves he has made were to help him make it to the end. People are underestimating his game play and if he makes it to the end then he really deserves to win it. Especially over like Jack. Also Raffy and Zoe tbh. 👀 MaynorPart 2: 3. Zoe- Zoe is a good player. But gameplay this season, i dont think she deserves the win. She was already voted out. All her strategic moves did not go according to plan. Was over confident and cocky and comfortable in the game. Wasnt going to make it to the final 7 anyways because her allies Raffy and Dylan were going to take her out. Her game play after making it back into the game due to eoe has made her into a goat. Like if someone votes for her to win its due to them being bitter over everyone else. She didnt try to make connections with everyone. She went right back to the people she was working with. And you can feel the ooze of over confidence when she said “im fitting in perfectly” when her as only talked to Raffy and ellie and Jack. So 🤷‍♂️ Honestly social game aint that good either. 4. Raffy- oh boi. Raffy raffy. Were do I start. None of his plans have happened besides the Stephen vote and even that he said it wasnt his move. Gave it to Dylan. So 🤷‍♂️ What moves has he done really? Hes been rude to a few people here and honestly leaves a bad taste in my mouth (game wise) cuz its been more game talk from him. He gets mad when things dont go his way and just starts yelling at people that they made the bad decision. But he still fought in this game. I would gove my vote to him over people like Zoe and Jack. MaynorPart 3: 5. Timmy- can i say how proud i am with Timmy this season. His social game was amazing and strong. He had people wanting to work with him and was in a good spot for a bit. He felt in the bottom and made a move. Since then has been fighting to stay in the game. Got ellie to flip on her alliance. Said Dylan’s name for the target. He played an idol on me instead of himself. He really did all that in this game and he has a big shot to win this game. He just has to reach the final 3. I feel that he can do that. He’s a great person and honestly gunna be sad now going to be able to finish this game with him. Would have been amazing to be able to sit with him at the end of the game. But alas ive made myself into a huge target that no one would want to work with me to get to the end and i understand. It just sucks i wont be able to finish this game with him. But he would be a great winner. And he deserves it with the game he has played. Im wishing him the all the luck and sending him good vibes for the rest of the game. ❤️

[seoschangbin]

i hope you had a safe flight rachel!!! n that you're enjoying your vacation so far🥰💞i'm glad the peergrade went better than expected!!! now you're freeeee💞💕n excuse me but you're sweeter AND cuter🥺🤲🏼hehe agreed!!! 2020 better be our years or else!!!! 😤my semester is called spring (which idg bc we start in the winter???) but yes!!! hopefully they go well😚💕wishing you the best for grad school n the whole process!!!💕uni just isn't really for me!!!🙇🏻‍♀️but ill try 2 get involved!!-🎁💫

it was a v safe flight there but the way back.. going to that minus degree weather 😭 and yes im FREE omg i forgot abt the peergrade for a hot sec cant even imagine if i still had to do it after vacation 😔 n no.. jem for cutest sweetest human 😩 i hope u can find smth that makes uni a bit better for u!! 🙇‍♀️

and now felix's selfies.... OKAY😐he really said hey stay pay attention to ME😭😭i can hear his scalp crying out but he does look handsome😚the future... what if that future is the 26th... what are these dudes doing rachel... a MIXTAPE???😭skz don't know how to rest huh😤when i was young i started with general dance and ballet! i can barely remember most of it anymore but at least i got sir lee as my freestyle dance teacher😎i cant wait to learn miroh and got7s lullaby!!! -🎁💫

me everytime im like: yea im over felix.. felix: i dont think some: ok sir.. ok ur right.. im not over u ....he looks so pretty lately im 😭 leave me alone bro... 😭 fuKCKN I cannot beliEVE we got a mixtape.. ok... i see how it is.. merry christmas to us thank u stray kids for feeding ur fatass well-fed fans... ooh ballet! is there a reason u wanted to pick it up again? :o nd oh lullaby i do love that got7 choreo + miroh ofc 💕 

okay me😭i'm so slow with skz schedule and i told myself i'd be chill with skz so everything just comes as a surprise!!! but yes!!! i think they have two more fansigns left??? or one... i just know there's at least gonna be another!!! :0 and omg rachel bin fansites have been providing so much, the amount of cute binnie hqs i've seen these past few days i😭i did actually!!! ticketing was a MESS for LA!!! but i was able to get tix luckily, P3 but hey i won't complain😎-🎁💫

jgsdkg this is why u cant leave skz for a hot sec.. me bein back = assault w content dont even knOW where to start... whack.. ooh i gotta go look at sku to see the fantaken pics theyre always the cutest 😩 omg i cant changbin fansites be like: Die hes so cute 😭 send me some hqs.. really goin thru it today! and omg im glad u got tix at least enjoy them for me 😔🤙

i hope skz go to canada and you can go!!! did they go to canada for unveil??? :0 if so, did you go??? :0 hehe yes let it be your mission!!! its actually super tough for people to get me to stan other groups but i believe in you😌💞mx ray!!! i'll definitely add it to my list!!! hehe🙇🏻‍♀️changbins muscles are made of love😭💕💞💕💞changbin is a beefcake but the beefiest thing about him... his Heart🥺🤲🏼-🎁💫

they did NOT come to canada for unveil 😞 there’s onyl been a couple of groups that i rmbr that have been to canada rip! omg... im on a mission jem... i have a long list of groups 😖 but mxray is honestly just so funny u dont even need to like mx to enjoy it theyre just ridiculous 😭 mjskgj VIBE his beefest heart muscles.. 🤧

LITERALLY... 😭i dont like aegyo or overly cutesy things and i first interpreted as changbin as just the cute bestie type but he got to me out of nowhere... like wow hand in marriage sir... you can do all the aegyo you want😔🤲🏼yes!!! my ultimate favorite (farming) game is harvest moon animal parade! as for favorite game hmmm i'll just say my current fave which is fire emblem three houses! def recommend!!! and yes animal crossing is the best! its so calming and cute😌💞-🎁💫

me watching aegyo: die. me watching changbin doign aegyo: ok maybe .... ur cute.... oooh ive heard rly great things abt fire emblem from my gamer friends 😌 im gonna add it to my list when i have some more time 😊

will be hoping those uv rays go a bit easier on you😣😤no worries rachel!!! i don't mind at all hehe, take your time n just enjoy your vacation😚💞and PLEASE i adore you too!!! rachel sweetest being💕💞💕💞💕💞and um excuse me take that back you aren't boring!!!😭today is christmas eve n its almost christmas!!! not 100% sure if you celebrate those but nonetheless!!! happy holidays💞💕hope they treat you well😌💞-🎁💫

i didnt get that much sun sadly but it was nice thank u uv rays for not burning me to a crisp 😌 i adore u as ive said 500 times.... thank u for the gifset as well i was so 😭😭 when i saw it!!! and sorry to be so late but i hope u had a lovely christmas as well if u celebrate 💕💕

[reveslumineux]

ugh

im still sad but im not confused i talked to my 5 year old self, shes the one that craves these unhealthy relationships because thats what she saw mom and dad do. mom was constantly trying to please dad an get his attention when he was unavailable, because he’s still a 13 year old child in his head, and he’ll never change or grow. my 5 year old self things that going above and beyond for someone who cant do the same for you is the right thing to do. i deserve better. and taylor literally told me that. this weekend was a big intervention for me. i realized i had been letting things slide. im glad she weirdly realizes that she also knew she was bad for me? im grateful that in some fucked up part of her mind she realizes she’s abusive? she realizes she’s fucked up? but she’s not going to change. i wonder when she’s going to turn on breylan or andy. i wonder who she’s already latched onto next. 

taylor didnt love me. she liked the object that i was and that i fit whatever projection she had of what she needed. just like irene, just like qualeasha, but its strange because she lets people keep hurting her? and then still loves them? but with me, its just outright hatred? i dont understand why she loves frances so much when frances constantly and almost always chose someone else over her. what is that about? maybe its because they are both bad people with bad personalities. 

what im most fucking annoyed about is all the fucking plans we made. and she couldnt for one second stop to think about the fucking fact that we had plans saturday so maybe i didnt want to hangout with you on friday? and we have plans wednesday! taylor! i cant make friends for you! you have opportunities to make friends! i cant fucking do this shit for you! what the fuck! to put that on me! the nerve. when all i have been is sweet and kind and gentle to you. what the fuck taylor. what the fuck, that is rude, disrespectful. and i am not deserving of that treatment. i deserve love kindness and empathy and you’ve given me none of it and YOU have the nerve to cut me off because you think i betrayed you. when in reality i was protecting you, because i would hate to put you in a situation where anyone would later talk to me behind your back about you. you’re fucking irrational. rude. uncaring. and i need to stay as far as possible from you, if possible. i cant sit near her in class. im only going to talk to her when necessary--for our project, thats it. im so pissed that she didnt think about all of this shit. and shes already latched on to breylan or andy because i couldnt give her enough. i wonder if either of them will realize that shes no longer talking to me and is actually responding to them, instead of ignoring them. because i am one hundred percent and completely and utterly being rejected and cast out. i know that because she literally told me thats how she is. i know its mean to say. but i cant wait for the day that she pisses off breylan, because breylan doesnt give a fuck and will call her out. and she’ll have to start over again. and again and again. im going to do this fucking project, and im going to not speak to her unless i have to after this. im going to limit the amout of time and energy i need to spend on this person. i am going to love myself so fucking hard that this WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. 

she literally called me TIMID, SHY, AND UNCONFIDENT. SHE HURT ME AND I DONT DESERVE TO BE HURT THAT WAY! NO ONE DOES! IF ANYONE HURT HER LIKE THAT SHE’D BLOW UP. IM REALLY PISSED. ugh! how dare she! i cleaned her car! and she didnt notice! because shes a fucking narcissist who only looks at herself and nothing else! i hate the way she made me feel she drew me in i hate her i hate her i cant wait for this project to be fucking over. i cant wait. fuck. i hate her and i will not associate her. shes abusive and manipulative and onyl cares about her fucking self, because she cant make or follow through with plans. I DONT DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT SHES EVIL AND I HOPE SHE NEVER GETS MARRIED. I HATE HER AND HOW SHE MADE ME FEEL. NEVER AGAN, NO MORE! NEVER! 

i need to accept and acknowledge that taylor is NOT a good person. she likes being hurt. she likes being a victim. she likes destroying things. and she only cares about herself, she cant fully care about others because if she did, she’d realize her expectations are fucked up, and having expectations for friends is fucked up. the only way i would have gotten her to ‘be’ with me is if i tip toed around her 24/7 and jumped when she said jump. and sat when she said sit. but i actually liked her and cared about her. ill care about her by caring aggressively about myself. i deleted our messages. i deleted my accounts. im gonna take some steps to take care of myself i am going to : 

--not judge myself for being sad 

--not hangout with breylan or andy, because i do not want to spend time with taylor. i am not going to put myself in any situation where i have to hangout with her in a group or singular setting. i am going to stay home more or just hangout with my other friends. im too nervous and scared to build a connection with anyone new, and i dont want to build a connection with anyone associated with taylor. ill just tell them i cant hangout and that im busy or i just need time to work through some stuff. i CANT confide in them because i do not want to start drama and i am not about to subject myself to further abuse if taylor blows a fuse. 

--not beat myself up for missing taylor 

--work hard to realize that what she expressed was not LOVE because there was not empathy, there was no grey scale, if she truly loved me and saw that i hungout with someone else, she would be happy and excited, and would want to know if she could join in next time. 

--work out, take care of myself, and work on my work, really hard. maybe ill finish all of my final projects early. maybe ill just do that. i think itll be okay. 

[thesanguinecrow]

i feel like im being stretched too thin. i still feel exhausted on all levels.

not going to class for a week with spring break and skipping the sessions right before and after ive really felt a rift grow between me and education.

im not happy in class and its not something that has been making me happy.

im onyl taking french 2 this semester and sitting in there im not really feeling it. i do like learning it and it comes easy to me and its fun knowing third language but i just dont enjoy the energy of the class. i dont have any friends in it and its just not too enjoyable.

also, and i know this is my own fault, i havent been doing the homework at all since the beginning of the semester. it never occurred to me from the start and it rolled into i just dont do the homework. i hate to have to put in effort beyond in class instruction but its significantly effected my understanding of the language.

i know i need to get my education to increase my knowledge in a field get a degree and yada yada but i cant even fathom that far into the future. getting my prerequisites transferring to san diego or another school living in dorms

it all seems so unreal to me. graduating having my degree getting a job in my field. it all seems so far.

and with on going financial struggles over the past nine months ive been having to balance work and school life.

i dont enjoy my current job. some quick background i work as a baker for a cafe that also caters to vegan and alternative diets. i have been on weekend solo shifts for a while where i am responsible for making all the necessary items that need to be replenished. i keep underperforming and i cannot catch or keep up. its feels like in manual tasks im just slower than everybody else. and i hate that im just there alone its only me. and every single time im working i struggle, panic, and scramble to finish on time. all the other kitchen staff who do prep work for grab and go items and other savory things finish before im even close to being done and i end up leaving with one or two things that i should have made.

i just. i dont know. i feel so sub par and inadequate i dont even wanna try anymore.