#out for. i dont want to have fo fucking worry about this I DONT WANT TO LOSE ANOTHET FUCKING FAMILG MEMBER TO AN OVERDOSR

[lightthatibecome]

.

[rudyswhore]

heyyyy!!

your fics are🔛🔝

But anyway i wanted to ask if you could do a fic about singer!reader and jude bellingham and reader mentions her love life which is clearly about jude in her newest song and fans from jude and reader go wild over the internet

Love you x

hii! thank youu and yes ofc !!

jude bellingham x female singer!reader

social media au!!!

fc; sabrina carpenter

a/n; thank u smm

ynusername

ynusername happy birthday to my favourite person ever 🥹 @ynbestfriend

liked by ynbestfriend, judebellingham and 2,374,762 others

ynbestfriend i love you sm 💗💗💗

↪️ ynusername i love you sm more 🫶

ynbestfriend 😍😍😍

liked by ynusername

ynbestfriend only picture of us we have 😭😭

↪️ ynusername no but srsly 🥲

user23 jude liking???🧐 @judebellingham

user10 the most beautiful

user07 @judebellingham whachu over here being messy fo???

judebellingham

judebellingham 🤏

liked by ynusername, vinijr, and 3,432,580 others

brahim Jude 🫲🫱

brahim My bro

liked by judebellingham

user99 my husband

ynusername mr clutch

liked by judebellingham

user56 @ynusername 🤨 wtf

user20 mmm mmmmm whats going onnn

ynusername

ynusername my give a fucks are on vacation.. espresso out now 🤎

liked by judebellingham, ynbestfriend, madelyncline, and 2,454,885 others

judebellingham on repeat.

liked by ynusername

↪️ user55 girl...

↪️ user63 WAIT.

madelyncline such an icoooooooon 🥹

liked by ynusername

user66 Y/N/L who is this about!!!!

ynbestfriend queen ho

liked by ynusername

user49 r we thinking the same guys

ynusername

ynusername happy anniversary sweetheart 🥹🫶

liked by ynbestfriend, judebellingham, vinijr, jobebellingham, and 4,548,417 others

user93 WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED.

ynbestfriend MY LOVERGIRL💔💔 im gonna get you back @judebellingham

↪️ ynusername i love you more than him dont worry

↪️ judebellingham 😱😱😱💔💔💔😭😭😭

user78 oh I KNEW IT.

vinijr Que idiota es😒 (What an idiot he is)

liked by ynusername

user07 they're so cute together :(

user45 bye they seem so happy

user22 no esperaba esto de Jude... (i wasn't expecting this from Jude)

↪️ camavinga cierra la puta boca (shut the fck up)

judebellingham

judebellingham my girl and only mine. happy anniversary baby 💗

liked by ynusername, vinijr, and 4,365,222 others

ynusername i love you mi niño guapo 🥹🫶 (my handsome boy)

↪️ judebellingham i love you more mi niña hermosa 🫶🏽

↪️ noahohio CHAT THEY WERE MEANT TO BE😭😭😭

vinijr Congratulations my bro, happy anniversary!

liked by judebellingham

user07 cutest fuckin couple out here

user00 favs

[tastesousweet]

⭒ the girl with the tattoo (v) - pt 1 pt 2 p3 p4

matt sturniolo x fem!oc / reader

summary : y/n and matt don't have to like each other to continue this thing of theirs, right?

warnings : implications of sex, alcohol, mention of weed, ???

mickey speaks : THANK U FOR THE LOVE ON THIS SERIES!!! sorry if this part feels shorter than the usual !! things get cute in next few parts...

THIS IS PART FIVE GO READ THE OTHERS FIRST OK

"SHE'S sick again?" remi asks, scooting herself further into the booth.

"yeah, i think it's her sinuses or something. she seemed pretty bummed about staying home, i feel awful." andrea pouts while glancing at the menu.

"she's the only person to ever be sick this often in june," remi giggles.

"we should order something to-go for her then. maybe soup?" erin suggests.

"that sounds nice, i'll text her- hopefully she's awake."

౨ৎ

"i can't keep telling my friends i'm sick." you huff as you walk back into your room to find matt redressing.

"why not?" his voice is muffled through his shirt as he tugs it over his head, leaving his hair ruffled.

you lay yourself on your bed lazily, "because they're smart enough to stop believing me soon."

"and why can't they just mind their business?" he looks over to you before reaching down to adjust the white shoes on his feet.

you stretch an arm out to grab your phone from your side table, mumbling, "you must not have friends who worry for you.”

he shakes his head then sighs, “sure, my friends care about me, but they also know when to leave me the fuck alone.”

“right, and my friends know me well enough to know i’m never asking to be left alone.” your comment comes out with more sass than you intended but you know he doesn't understand (or care to understand) your friendships enough to comment on them. then again, you were the one who brought this up in the first place.

"mmm...right. forgot you're just a little insane," he tsks, looking into your mirror and adjusting his shirt some more.

"shut up, matt," you continue staring at your phone, though it's only open to your home screen because you're far more engaged in the conversation than anything your phone could give you. "okay actually, what should i dooo?" you whine.

"i sure as hell won't know?!" his face twists up as he turns to look at you, "you're a smart girl, i'm sure you can figure it out."

you roll your eyes, "'kay... well maybe i've picked up a hobby...like, i dont know, painting! and i just really enjoy painting all alone, 'cause it helps me...focus?"

matt sarcastically laughs through his words, “you’re weird as shit,” he throws your plush throw blanket (that fell on the floor when you pushed matt on your bed just an hour ago) at you. “alright, i’m headin’ out.”

you don’t even give him a second look, “bye.”

౨ৎ

a few cheers of “ayy” and “look who made it” echo out from across the small alley as matt tucks his keys in his front pocket.

he looks over to see chris excitedly pointing at him with an arm hooked on nathan’s neck and another close friend, elijah, sitting on an oversized couch with a smile.

matt chuckles under his breath and walks closer to them, taking in the rowdy and neoned atmosphere of this downtown bowling alley. “what’s good?” he greets his group of friends.

“what’s good with you?” nathan counters with a grin as he moves to dap up matt.

matt shrugs into the handshake as eli begins to speak and stand up, “yeah, where the fuck are you comin' from?”

“home. don’t worry about it,” matt defends as his tongue guides over his hidden smile with a loose shrug of a shoulder.

“nooo! just say it how it is, matt,” chris says through a bite of nachos, “you slept in late and forgot about boys night, big fucking deal. you’re here now!” he throws his hands up before letting them fall to his sides dramatically.

matt slowly nods his head in sarcastic agreement as he faces his friends, "he's right."

he almost wants to laugh at the fact that chris actually believed his fake-sleeping enough to let him off the hook for "forgetting" their group hangout.

cameron wanders over to the group after taking his turn bowling, “‘kay, nate it’s your turn.” he then quips his chin up with a sudden grin, "hey, matt! about time you showed."

"better late than never," he breathes before joking, "you know i had to let you guys get at least a round in before i got here to start dominating."

“the word choice is a bit insane,” nick exaggerates as he approaches with arms full of bottled water and soda cans, "how about you go get your fucking shoes before you make that kind of claim." he moves around matt to place drinks on the coffee table (decorated with various bowling ball and pin themed clutter that made nick way to happy when first seeing it).

elijah places a hand on matt's shoulder, "i'll come with you, matt."

౨ৎ

"sick baby, i'm home nowww!" andrea yells from the front door.

you mentally gather yourself to continue your deception. you add weight to your eyelids, purposely making them droop and make your voice extra scratchy, as if you'd only just awoken.

andrea's at your door quickly, only tapping it slightly open, not wanting to blind you with the harsh yellowed lighting of the hallway. "hi, you up?"

you tussle under your comforter and give a small nod, "mhm."

"do you think you're like, contagious? i have your soup here and really wanna tell you some shit about tonight." she smiles warmly.

"no you're fine. please come in, i've been all alone and bored as hell," you rub your eye softly for effect.

you feel pretty guilty about this whole thing but you aren't hiding anything tragic from her. and this "illness" hasn't ruined that many hangouts...only the one's that happen to fall on days matt texts you.

"i hate to see my favorite bitch down like this, this soup better make you feel better immediately." she sighs as she comes into your room, noisy plastic bag in hand.

"i know," you lift yourself to sit up against your headboard as she sits next to you, "think i should be all better soon. i can't miss another shift at the bakery."

you were never missing work for matt, but to cover your ass you did miss a day or two of work to show your friends just how "sick" you were. if you were sick enough to stay home from work you surely were sick enough to avoid a girls night or two. but you guess it technically does come down to matt...unfortunately.

"yeah, i'm sure mr. houffman will lose it of you call off again," she giggles, sifting through the bag for your soup and silverware.

౨ৎ

barely a week later and you're feeling the best you have in a while, with the guilt of pretending to be sick no longer following you.

it's the fourth of july so there was absolutely no way you'd be continuing that act. you weren't missing out on a holiday with as many parties as this one.

and when chris asked andrea to get the girls to come party hop for the night, you told her yes immediately.

you're currently sat atop a random kitchen counter as nick moves around to make a concoction cocktail for you. you lean back on your hands to watch as he uses a knife to slice a small lime as garnish. "wow you really have an eye for this shit, nick," you laugh at his focused stare (he tries to compensate for any drinks he's had so far, not wanting to slice a finger off).

"i guess i'm just a natural!" he exclaims as he places the lime on the rim of the plastic cups, "okay, one for you," you take it from him, "and one for me." he grins at you.

"cheers!" you motion your drink towards him and he echoes you before you both take large sips.

your eyes pinch before they grow wide, "...why's it actually...good?" you laugh.

"you bitch! you thought i'd give you a shitty drink?!" he giggles and goes for another sip of his own.

"it's not that-"

you're cut off by matt's voice, "alright, time to dip. everyone's sayin' this place is really weird."

you both look over at him with his mellow attitude and perfectly organized outfit (so that he'd 'have all the colors but not look like a walking american flag'). "what? this place has been a good time so far! right, nick?"

"suppperrrr fun. maybe it's a you problem, matt." he jokes.

"come on, chris is the one who sent me to get you two. you know i would've left you both a few houses back." he teases.

you slide off of the counter easily, "okaaay," you look into his eyes and pat his chest twice mumbling, "someone needs a smoke break," before walking off in search of the door.

"wait y/n!" nick grabs a few sealed jello shots from an ice bucket nearby before rushing after you.

though he doesn't catch up to you before matt does, grabbing your hand, "you don't even know where the fuck you're going."

you breathe out defeated, "i'm sure i could've figured it out. i don't need you bossing me around."

matt pouts with squinted eyes and his head tilted, "sure."

nick comes up to you, continuing to stuff the shots into his jort pockets, "do these shorts make my ass look fat?" he turns to show you his side profile (already giggling before the punchline of his joke lands) that showcases the multiple items shoved into his back pockets and protrude out in awkward shapes.

you and nick both fall into a laughing fit and matt only ghosts a smile at his brother's stupidity before tugging your hand towards an exit. "wait! here, hold this please," you hand your drink to matt and reach your hand out for nick's. when he takes your hand willingly you raise your conjoined hands with a smile, "aw, we're like a little train!"

nick adds to the joke by pretending to be a conductor, exclaiming all the cliche lines he knows to make you laugh.

matt finally pushes a front door open, the warm summer air finally surrounding you once more. the rest of the group chatter along the sidewalk across the street. "my friends!" nick yells.

the three of you make your way down the wooden stairs (that seem to be steeper when going down than they were to walk up), and once you're in the grass your hand drops from matts's as nick drags you across the street quickly to crash into your friends.

remi's face is annoyed and confused at first but changes immediately when she recognizes your face. she throws her arms around you for a hug, "y/n! you were found!" you laugh into her neck as she sways back and forth.

"okay guys i'm thinking we hit up the place that the end of this block, right there. they've got some crazy lights goin' on so it should be fun." chris points in the direction and looks to the group for opinions.

"yeah! let's do it!" nate encourages.

the group begin to walk down the sidewalk (and slightly into the grass) lined with miniature american flags and past the many houses full of people and decorated with fairy lights and expensive garland.

naturally, everyone gravitates into cliques due to the amount of small conversations happening at once.

"that's unreal!" erin adds while hanging her arm on your shoulder, as you both listen to remi's dramatic retelling of some guy's awful flirting with her.

"i''m so over these trash ass men," remi shakes her head.

"tell me about it," erin sighs, rolling her eyes.

just as you begin to add your own opinion, matt taps your shoulder. he seems to always find a way to interrupt you. you glance behind you and see him holding your cocktail from earlier up.

"oh thanks, i forgot you had that," erin leans off of you to give you space to turn around and grab it.

though her eyes linger on matt for a second too long causing him to send her a smile and raise his eyebrows slightly in awkward question.

you feel the tension bite at the air around you and in hopes of escaping it, you turn back around and prompt remi with a new topic to discuss.

only, now you miss when erin gives matt a second glance back- and this time she offers a gentle wave and smile to him, in truce.

౨ৎ

after a few more stops at parties (you all got a little greedy about the free drinks and food which brought three extra "one more"s before deciding to cut it off), you all head to a nearby park to end the night with a firework show.

it was surprisingly well organized, with blankets already laid out around the large grassy area so that anyone could sit and watch whether they'd planned to or not.

the night has started to get the slightest bit cooler which was much needed after such an eventful three hours, leaving everyone exhausted in their comfortable spots; chris resting his head against andrea's full thighs, you next to her with your legs sprawled and arms extended behind you, nick and nathan both sat with their legs crossed, admiring the bright fireworks despite nick's flinching every-so-often.

the blanket next to you hosts erin, remi, matt, and cameron. all laying out as they laugh and talk, which you assume comes from a combination of the edibles they'd all taken at one of the parties and remi's addictingly outgoing nature that can force anyone to want to talk to her.

the booming fireworks go on for another twenty minutes before dying down and leaving the crowd in the dark, smokey air.

as you adjust to standing and take out your phone to use as a makeshift flashlight, you read the most recent of your many notifcations:

MATT - 12:36 AM

you down to paint after this???

you bite at your freshly chapped bottom lip before looking over to matt, who's currently using his hands obnoxiously to explain something he's clearly passionate about to cameron.

you sliently sigh before replying:

YOU -12:47 AM

sure

꩜⋆ ˚｡⋆🎱˚

tag list (ily):

@rootbeerworshiper @deadxrx @breeloveschris @saintsturn @honestlybabymiracle @hearts4chris @starrysturniolo @blissfulbellss @aoxash

[4pfsukuna]

could you write smth for long curly haired reader who isn't doing the best mentally so she isn't ty taking care of here hair and geto who has a crush on her offered to help her with it? i just know he'd be soft and gentle.hed even look up how to take care of curly hair to help make his girls (he wishes 😔) hair look the best it ever has (so she can ask him to keep doing her hair for her) i need him down bad 🙏🙏

omfg girl. GIRLLLLLL. This may have just healed my writers block🥹

Suguru Geto was the neighborhood heart-throb with his dark volumtious hair, midnight black eyes that were so dark they nearly looked purple his tall muscular frame (his thighs were drool worthy when he man spread) and his hands that could probably… no definitely palm your whole face. Between that warm honey coated laugh and the smooth calm tone he always heals in his voice he had every girl and woman in a 10 foot radius always swooning over him. Not that he noticed his eyes were always on you and when you werent around his mind was thinking if you ate today, how your day was, what new hobby you picked up what conditioner you used? The last one was a bit unhinged.

Last week he made a complete fool of himself when he seen you in the shared hall of your apartment and finally gathered up the courage to ask you on a date but it started off so well. 

“Hello sweetheart, how was work?” He grins down at you waiting for your brown eyes to meet his and he feels his heart stutter when you do with a soft smile.

“Hey Geto, it was alright, glad im off though im starving” you answer” as you fumble with your house keys pushing some of your long curls out of your face with a single finger.

He can feel his insides exploding, this was it you just put the ball in his court for a lay up or whatever silly basketball analogy Satoru used when he told him about you, now was his chance.

“Oh? Theres a new family owned restauraunt that just opened nothing to fancy. You should go” he blurts out faster than he has time to think about it and his tongue instantly feels heavy in his mouth. His jaw feels hinged and hes clenching his mouth and fist so tight he doesnt know what will break first his teeth or the skin on his palms from how bad his nails are digging in.

“Yeah, i think i will. Have a good night” you wave and hes so in his own head he doesnt realize the way the smile doesnt reach your eyes from either dissapointment of him not asking to go together or the long day of work is something he spends the next few days pondering about once he gets in his apartment.  The only thing hes glad about is that neither Shoko or Satoru was there to embarass him endlessly. He always had a smooth slightly arrogant demeanor but when it came to you words fealt heavy in his mouth, his hands got clammy and his eyes could not leave you what so ever.

The next time he sees you hes shocked. Its around midnight after a full day of listening to anxiety by meg thee stallion on repeat loud enough for him to hear it in his living room that he begins to get worried. Its when he sees you in a dark blue hoodie blanket going to take out your trash that he stops you.

“Hey sweetheart, i can take your trash for you. You shouldnt be taking it down this late anyway” he reaches for the bag not expecting you to pull away.

“N-nah its cool, i got it” you voice cracks and he finally looks at your eyes seeing them puffy and red which makes him fall into defense mode. 

“Who did it? Ill kill them” and that wasnt exactly what he wanted to say but fuck it its not like he didnt mean it and it earns a chuckle from you. Ok, finally he was doing something right.

“Everything and everyone” you pout and he feels his heart soften at the helpless look of defeat on your face. If only you knew you had a man that would actually burn the whole world down in front of you.

“I dont have enough matches for the whole world but if you give me enough time i can run to the store to buy more and burn the it all down for you” he rubs his chin earning a smile this time.

“Maybe not the whole world” you start with a slight giggle and his heart starts doing that weird thing again “It's just… my anxiety has been in overdrive this week and my job has rumors about letting some people go and i think its me since i've been talking about being home sick and my hair stylist canceled my appointment which ruined my week because not only does she not know when she’ll return but my hair products are nothing more but empty containers that won't get shipped here until next month. NEXT MONTH Geto, i cant just put anything in my hair and nobody here can help me” you pout feeling your bottom lip tremble as you fight back tears not wanting to cry infront of your neighbor you needed to hold onto some shred of dignity— hes already watching you in this snuggie with kuromi socks on.

Your face is quickly found in his chest as he pulled you in for a hug and you nearly start sobbing, its not your fault when people hugged you when you were sad it only made you cry more.

“And then i forgot to go grocery shopping” you finally break the hot tears running down you face you wait for him to push you off instead he just holds you tighter resting his chin on your head and rubbing your back. His embrace kinda felt nice and this was the only thing that felt right in your whole horrible week you were going to bask in it.

“I can help you with your hair” Geto blurts and you wipe your eyes to make sure you heard him correctly.

“You what?” Your raspy voice questions looking up at the man whos tall enough to nearly reach the hallway ceiling.

“I can help you with your hair” he repeats, using a thumb to wipe some of the tears from under your eyes, his palm cupping your cheek to keep you in place. Completely unbothered by the fact that any of your other neighbors could walk out and see you two like this he’s just happy to have you this close.

“No shade but what do you know about kinky curly hair, plus im not trying to let anyone experiment on my hair let alone a man” you cross your arms but you don’t pull away from his embrace which he selfishly enjoys.

“You think this long healthy hair comes from using a body wash and shampoo 2 in 1? I actually take pride in my 8 step hair routine” he tells you reaching up to pull his hair from its bun letting his long obsidian locs cascade down over his broad shoulders the coconut scent hitting your nose.

You stare at him for a second debating how wrong this could go letting this man play in your head. I mean worse case scenario it gets tangled and you big chop after your hair crisis(amongst the several youve had throughout life) youve always said ‘fuck it im going to just go bald’ and maybe you finally spoke it into existance. 

You see the hopefulness in his eyes and know this man is fully convinced he can do your hair and will spend all night convincing you if he has to and you're not sure if it's his resilience or your lack of sleep that has you finally crack and let out a long sigh.

“I promise i can do it just give me a second to toss this trash, grab my products and i'll be over in a second” he promises with an excited grin grabbing the trash from your hand and taking off down the hall.

“And thats not all… they were roommates” you gossip with him as he runs the detangler through your hair after parting it into four sections. He was on the last section before having your lean back to begin the wash process and maybe he did know a thing or two about hair. Gently guiding your head back to the running water you hear the CLICK of the bottle opening before you feel the cold substance on your scalp.

Your eyes instantly close when his fingers begin massaging your scalp his nails feeling so heavenly against your roots.

“Oh my God Sugur your fingers feel so good” you nearly moan and he has to stop for a second, pretending to look for your detangler comb to not lose his composure. he cant even help his pants getting slightly tighter, he was honestly so down bad for you. 

He rinses repeats detangles conditions detangles again with very little instruction from you and honestly it was because you had began dozing off quite a few times enjoying the physical touch of another human while he is the physical embodiment of happy to be here.

He notices the song you had on repeat is also off instead choosing Sade to listen to which was alot more calmer. Its when he begins humming along that your brows scrunch and he panics assuming that hes hurting you.

“What you know about Sade?” Youre soft voice pokes making him chuckle and damn does he have a nice laugh.

“Im a man of culture” he pokes your temple and you jokingly pretend to attempt to bite his finger your goofyness slipping out easily around him. “Besides im washing your hair obviously im very cultured” he adds in and you cant argue there.

An hour later you find yourself rambling about all your favorite things favorite music, hobbies and embarassing stories of you from the fourth grade which he counters of embarassing stories of him in high school with him and his best friend satoru who he promises to introduce you to.

“And i'll section the braids up here into smaller parts So if you want a middle part or side part you have options” he tells you absentmindedly and you crain your head back to make direct eye contact but he gently grabs the side of your neck using his thumb to push your head forward.

“You'll get neck pain if you do that sweetheart” he commands softly in a way that makes your spine tingle and you rest your head against his large thigh.

“Have you done this before?” You ask your mind instantly floating to another woman and while there weren't too many girls that looked like you in japan with a hair texture like yours he was entirely too good to never have practiced this once.

“Yes” he answers honestly and you force yourself to push down the thoughts that make your stomach drop. “Though they usually fall asleep by the time i get to conditioning their hair”

And it's like you can hear the record scratch and the peaceful bliss you're in ends abruptly.

“So it's nice having someone to talk to up until the end” he tells you before finishing a braid and you feel it fall mid back before he shuffles around. There's a bright light gleaming on the side of your face and you turn slightly to see a picture of twin girls, one with dark hair and one with light brown, almost blonde hair.

“They're so cute, how old are they?” you ask taking the phone in your hands to get a better look as he swipes showing different clips from what looks like a trip to the aquarium.

“11, thats mimiko and nanako usually they are here with me but they are with uncle Satoru for the summer making his pockets hurt as they say and spending time with their little cousin megumi” he tells you before he stops sliding landing on a picture of him satoru the twins and a dark spikey haired little boy that looks angry at Satoru.

“He looks like he absolutely hates satoru” you giggle resting your head back on his thigh which earns a laugh from him.

“Despises him, actually thinks Satoru is so annoying but he loves him… deep deep deep down inside his tiny little body since he adopted him. We knew his dad… real piece of shit actually” Suguru admits using a bit more force on your hair, its not painful but you could tell he hated Megumi's dad more than Megumi hated Satoru. 

“You must've had them really young” you pry slightly which he snorts at before using the comb to detangle a section of your hair and adding in more product. 

“No, I met them at an old job. They were in a bad environment and I took them in. I just couldn’t watch them go through that horrible system it's not a place for innocent little girls” he tells you his touch becoming so featherlite you almost forget he's doing your hair 

“Yeah it makes sense you are such a girl dad. Definitely dilf material” you ramble going back to look at the pictures zooming in on how happy the girls look.

His eyes widen and breath gets caught in his throat he nearly has to stop what he's doing to focus on you again.

“Dilf? At Least take me out to dinner first”he jokes trying to calm his heart before you lean your head back once more making eye contact with him.

“How about the new family owned restaurant you told me about? You could even bring the girls I’d love to meet them” you smile at him watching the blush build on his face.

“R-really?” He stutters, not expecting you to ask him out on a date… shit was it a date?

“Yeah they seem to play an important role in your life and I need to make a good impression on them as well… I mean unless I’ve been taking your staring, heated looks and your kind offer to wash my hair the wrong way?” You tease with a sly smirk and he can feel the flush running through his entire body.

“Oh so you've just been letting me embarrass myself in front of you… this entire time” he exaggerates, holding a hand over his mouth in faux shock.

“I thought it was cute” you shrug watching his reactions before he tilts your head back forward using neck cramps as an excuse.

“Hey suguru?” You yawn, leaning your head back against his thigh and it was just the perfect head rest as his fingers began massaging through your scalp again.

“Yes sweetheart?” He asks slowing down for a second and you begin enjoying, a bit too much, the way he sounds calling you that.

“Thank you for washing my hair and styling it” you smile closing your eyes and shoulders dropping slightly and he grins at the signs of you falling asleep. He's seen it too often with the twins but he had to admit he may have been enjoying this more than you, acts of service being his love language that much was clear.

“Anything for you” 

[king-of-a-kingless-world]

not metatron just casually handin out 30000 coins

b- bro. i. uh. ahshagsga. yes sir 🫡. anything fo u dokja kim.

hahahah

:((

DUMBASS. god i fucking hate him

AS SHE SHOULD THIS DUMBASS SUBJUGATED A KID TO THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF ISOLATION ALSO KNOWN AS THE WORST FORM OF MENTAL TORMENT AND FOR WHAT? SO HE COULD GET A LITTLE LUCKIER EARLIER ON? THAT MAN IS AN ASSHOLE AND THE WORST AND I HOPE HE DIES MULTIPLE GRUESOME DEATHS

NO NO DOKJA DONT JUST LET HIM DIE JUST LET HER KILL HIM

AFYZYSFAUSTJXKTCTISRUAQUFUG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

OH SHEEEET

ok the thing about this is up to this point theyve basically only referred to eachother using their full names, first+last but here joonghyuk only calls him dokja and it gives the vibes theyre close enough to refer to eachother like that so...he cares no denying you cant hide from my perceptiveness i can see everything

BROOOO HES TRYING TO HOLD HIM UP NOT LET HIM FALL OVER CUZ HES GONNA DIE AND DOKJAS JUST GRABBING ONTO HIS ARM AND ITS NOT INTENTIONAL ITS INSTINCT AND AHSHAHSGS SO MANY WORDS THEY DENY IT BUT THEY CARE AND DOKJA WAS PROBABLY DIGGING HIS NAILS INTO HIS ARM CUZ HE KINDA IS MISSING HIS ENTIRE LOWER TORSO AND EVEN WITH FOURTH WALL THATS GOTTA BE SO PAINFUL AND YJH JUST IS FINE WOTH IT AND DOESNT CARE AND HES WORRIED ABOUT HIM AND SNAJSJWJSJDBSI

bro he has a giant hole where his stomach should be

also i thought you hated and wanted to kill him

THIS JUST SHOWS HE CARED THE WHOLE TIME BECAUSE HE KEPT TRYING TO KILL HIM BUT THE SECOND DOKJAS ACTUALLY GONNA DIE HES ALL LIKE NO NO NO NOT TOO LATE EVEN THOUGH DOKJA LEGIT DOESNT HAVE A LOWER TORSO AND THERES NO LOGICAL WAY FOR HIM TO SURVIVE BUT HES STILL IN DENIAL HED ONLY BE DENYING IF HE CARED AHAHAHAHHAHAHSBWHABSH

dude he looks so scared for him im gonna cry 😭😭😭😭. like hes looking him in the face with the most terror ive seen for him i cant wtfffff

no shit

never seen him so angry he even has the glowy main character eyes ✋

bro there aint no way he wasnt in love w dokja cuz he was perfectly fine with letting seolhwa die even tho he like dated her last regression and here he is only having spoken to kdj a few times and ready to fucking kill everything for him

YEA YEA UHUH HED PISSED CUZ YOU KILLED THE GUY HE WANTED TO BE HIS BF YEA YEA JOONGDOK CANNON THESE BITCHES GAY THEYRE ANNOYING AS ALL HELL AND THEYRE GAY

[mordeiswrld]

Stu Macher x M!Reader

AHHHH MY FIRST REQUEST🤭🤭 OFC I CAN DO THAT FOR YOU- Admin Zjay🪷 (reupload since i deleted everything🥲)

Requested?: yes

Fic type: Headcanons (not sure of you wanted a oneshot or this but just let me know and ill redo it)

Time started: 5:34 AM

Character: Stu Macher x M!reader

A/N: this may be bad since i dont capture extroverted characters’ personalities as well as Introverts but ill try my best😁

Stu being...well stu never really put much thought into anyone being taller than him until you came that is

When he first saw you it was in his History class that, in all honesty, he wasnt paying that nuch attention in. Just off in la la land and fucking with the other students with his goofy antics

Then you walked in, silently. Having to duck a little since the doorways never took tall people into consideration

Upon seeing a big figure in his peripheral vision he snapped his head towards you and his brain LITERALLY stopped all thoughts from processing everything

He was just ASTONISHED at your size. He was so amazed that he prayed to the gods that his teacher would sit you next to him

Unfortunately for him, she didn’t but will that stop Stuart? Absolutely not

After about an hour of boring lectures about Wars the bell had rung and kids starting pouring out into the halls, running, screaming, talking and laughing and doing what normal Highschoolers do before they speed off to their next class

But not Stu, well, not right away anyways. He was looking for the new kid. You. He searched above everyones heads and then he spotted you. Taller amongst the crowd of teenagers. You made them look like ants. Stu loved your height it was a relief to finally have someone who is taller than he is for a change

He quickly ran up to you after he spotted you and tapped your shoulder. “Hey, you’re in my history class i wanted to ask for your name earlier but-ah...Ms.HasAStickUpHerAss would’ve lectured me for an hour straight and sent me to detention.” he chuckles as he scratches his head, trying to seem awkward

You laugh “Oh is that so? My name is Y/N, what’s yours?” you questioned back as you rummage through your locker to get your textbook. “Stu Macher at your service” he says as he puts on a fake British accent and bows before you as if you are royalty. You laugh again and close your locker, tetxbook in hand.

“Nice to meet you Sir Stu. But if you’ll excuse me I have to get to Math and that’s all the way on the other side of the school” you say in an already exhausted tone. Stu smiles and playfully wraps his arms around your shoulders or tries to, after 4 failed attempts he gets onto his tiptoes and tries it “i can walk you there” he says as he starts to steer you down the hall. “You sure? Won’t you be late to class? If not later than i will be?” you question but Stu just brushes off the question a careless scoff “pffft, I’ll be fine. I have Science and he barely even remembers my face so i’m not worried” he states as he unwraps his arm from your neck, gets off of his tip toes and starts to walk in front of you backwards

He walks you to your class and then after that, yall talk almost everyday you are like his new favorite person to mess with. And the height? Oh he’s definitely gonna tease you about it “hey! Hows the weather up their dude?” “Fe Fi Fo Fum says the giant Y/N” “shhh as you can see hea we have a woild Y/N in its Natural habitat” ‘STU I CAN SEE YOU BEHIND THAT BUSH’

After a few months Stu starts to notice his crush on you. His longing stares, the way he notices every little change and detail about you (the way you slouch to be the same height as everyone, the way you almost bump into every doorway, etc), how he likes to be around you, how he likes to be the short one for once, etc. He’s shocked to say the least, since your both guys and its not really “normal” for the same gender to date but he quickly gets over it because he can love whoever the fuck he wants and if someone has a problem with it? They’ll be hanging by their appendix the next day.

Stu sits on the idea of him having a crush on you for a few weeks all while acting the exact same way except a lot more physical. The noogies turn into him ruffling your hair gently, he asks for you to get things for him even though he can clearly get it himself, he compliments your height more often, the hugs become tighter and longer, and his touches linger. He can tell you feel the same but he isn’t sure but all he needs is a positive response...

A/N: lowkey dont know how to feel about this 🫢i hope you like it though!!

Time ended: 6:31 AM

[br1ghtestlight]

love how bob seems to be completely out of it for this entire episode. like gene and tina are barely following along with linda and louise's insane reverse psychology game but bob is GONE like he's not present at the dinner table he isnt even part of the family. he just grumbles when linda tells him to but he isn't saying shit 😭😭

TINA AND GENE ARE SO SILLY IN THIS EPISODE LMAOO head empty zero thoughts. they are nothing more than pawns in louise's game

bob is correct for wanting to bribe them with candy that would literally work. like they are simple people

WHAT IF THEY TURN INTO LITTLE DELINQUENTS WHO DONT LISTEN TO AUTHORITY??? linda do you know who your kids are they are already WELL past that point especially louise. kinda funny that linda in this episode has the exact opposite viewpoint to how she was w/ louise in amelia. not a criticism of the episode its just ironic

BLACKMAIL

ARE YOU GONNA KILL US LMFAO

gene is SO BABY in this scene im gonna need to take screenshots later bcuz he is the smallest boy. in the world or maybe ever

back when we were children?? says the nine year old child

love how this episode is told through a bedtime story its very creative formatting and kinda unique feeling compared to the three story type of episode :)

MR FISCHOEDER APPEARANCE thank god we always need more fischoeder in our lives. i was worried we would have to wait weeks or even months to see him again

love big g. is that perhaps Grandma or Gloria

ZEKE AND JIMMY JR this is the big win for people who like seeing secondary characters. this episode already has more of them than like the Entirety of season 13 zeke and gene are so cute. their friendship is everything

THEY SEEM NICE TO ME AND LOVING I WANNA SAY AND WISE LIKE THEYVE GOT ALL THIS WISDOM TO PASS ON ABOUT LIFE AND THE WORLD 😭😭😭 lmao zeke saying that bob and linda are loving and kind is kinda sweet even though i know its technically bob and linda saying that about themselves. i do think zeke has a positive view of bob and linda Tbh

YOU GUYS SEEM LIKE YOU WORK SO HARD ALL THE TIME AND YOURE DELIGHTFUL........

new jimmy jr lore: he has a small bladder?

BOB AND LINDA GIVING EACH OTHER PIGGYBACK RIDES <3 so cute

rudy AND jessica spotted

AAWWWW ITS OUR JOB TO PROTECT YOU they love their kids so much :(

MARSHMALLOW APPEARANCE WTF??? new voice actor too :D i thought if she was gonna be in any episode it would be the bachlorette episode but its kinda funny she's just randomly in a western. its where she belongs

wait did i die?? no you were just being dramatic :/

I DONT KNOW WHY I THOUGHY MR FISCHOEDER WAS GONNA SERIOUSLY SUGGEST TO USE REAL BULLETS mf just shoots a bunch of kids. i mean he would do that honestly

AWW BOB SPECIAL INTEREST MOMENT he likes cooking ^_^

everything i do i do it for you 😭😭💕

LINDA ACTUALLY CRYING THIS IS GONNA BREAK MY HEART wtf i wasn't expecting this episode to actually get sad. what the hell </3 louise making her mom cry.....

"even though its really cool for moms to get angry and frustrated and cry in front of their kids"

this is weirdly reminding me of mother daughter lazor razor?? linda saying that she wished louise liked her and then louise saying wait you think i dont like you. their relationship is so weird and complicated but louise DOES love and respect linda and thinks she's really cool and fun!!! i wont hear otherwise idc

ONE OF OUR CHORES WAS TO LIGHT GRANDPAS CIGARS LIKE IN OUR MOUTHS??? LMAO WHAT THE FUCK LINDA why is this getting like weirdly serious is every episode gonna be like this now. are they just a little bit traumatic to watch every single time (also john roberts did A GREAT job voicing in this episode especially this ending scene)

MOSTLY BECAUSE OF TINA RIGHT AND GENE why did i literally start laughing loudly when she said that. god i love louise so much

aww they're babies <3 their relationship is the sweetest. you'll the toughest little cutie in prison

LIKE I SAID CANDY WAS LITERALLY THE SOLUTION those kids will do anything for some candy we all know this. we've seen the show before

gene its not even a question you WILL play coachella someday baby boy. you could probably do anything you wanted

GLORIA APPEARANCE i mean i dont like her but its been a few seasons since she was around. hello gloria is al dead

wait why does gloria have big ass badonkadonks..what who said that

aww the babies all asleep <3 little sweethearts

THIS EPISODE WAS SO FUN AND CUTE??? like genuinely a great episode that was heartfelt AND funny and had a really interesting story element to it as well. louise and linda episodes are always great and i love linda talking about how hard it is to raise good people and how much pressure is on them (and it makes sense that she would be more stressed about making them do chores vs bob because it was her mom who was pressuring her. big bob doesnt give a FUCK) a very fun start to hopefully a great season!!!!

[beammeupbroadway]

Find the Word/ Manuscript Search Tag

Tagged by the lovely @setaflow (here is her post please go show her girl love Riley needs it)

Words I had to play with were wait, wind, teeth, and hope. Three are from a published fic (Fool on the Hill) and one from an unpublished longer fic I’ve been working on for a couple of years because I am very slow

Wait

Metal hand tapping against the floor, Johnny turned his gaze away from her. If she didn't know better, she'd have recognised shame on his face.

"Worst thing they can do to you, take who you are..." Johnny hit his head against the wall, metal fingers clenching in a fist. "Don't have any more answers than you do, doll. For what it's worth, don't fuckin' want this any more than you."

Johnny shifted, turning round to fully face her, steeled expression as he leaned into her space, Valerie tensing at the intrusion. "You want an out? Oughta take it now. Not how I'd do it, but you wanna go out on your terms? Do us both a favour an' make it quick." He gestured to the gun on the table beside her. An out. One last act she could make. Preserve her integrity to her last moment.

It would be easier. God knows that gun felt like it had been pressed to her head since the day she was born, always waiting for an excuse to pull the trigger. A cold, unloveable creature. Waiting for the day someone put her down. At least this way it would be in her hands. Her choice.

Wind

She'd felt the wind knocked out of her when Johnny asked to go on a date with Rogue. Which was unfair. She'd just told him how important it was to have connections with the people in your life, and now she was bitter because he wanted to fix the ones he had?

It wasn't just that though. There was something more with Rogue, the 'what if that always hung in the air around them. She wanted him to do this, to get some closure, but it felt like signing her own death warrant. She knew the moment Rogue was back in the picture she might as well be gone.

Teeth

"And what, you think you're somethin'? Got news for you old man, you've been dead 50 years, nobody gives a fuck about Johnny Silverhand anymore, not even Arasaka. There's no score to settle, they've forgotten you and it's time you moved on and fucked off."

She gritted her teeth when his metal hand tugged hard on her hair, dragging her back round to face him. His face was so close she could feel his hair brushing against her, his expression menacing and teeth bared, his breath hot against her face.

"What, and you think you're gonna go out in some 'blaze of glory? Not in this fuckin' life Princess. Look at your choom Jackie-"

"Dont say his name you fuckin' asshole." She spat. The grip on her hair tightened, causing her to grimace, pushing down a small sound of pain that threatened to escape. She wouldn't give the bastard the satisfaction.

"look where he is now. Bleedin' out in the back of a cab your idea of a blaze of glory? That ain't happenin'. Not for you. You're no Night City legend darlin', you're gonna end up right there alongside your choom in the long list of nobodies who died thinkin' they could be somthin' in this city.”

Hope

"Can we stay here for a bit longer? I know we have shit to-"

He silenced her with the press of his lips against her own, moving in tandem as they twined themselves round one another. She felt him relax into the mattress and allowed herself to do the same, any desire to move from that spot vanishing with the soft touch of his hand trailing down her arm.

"Stayin' here long as you want Darlin'."

She let her eyes drift shut, tentatively reaching out to his mind with her own. What she found there lay any worry she may have had to rest, complete and overwhelming devotion tangling with her own, indistinguishable from each other.

As they lay there, basking in the faint glow of the setting sun over the pacific as it encompassed them in it's warmth, she realised for the first time since Jackie died, she felt hope. Hope for a different future, for them to stay like this forever, wrapped up in each other's warmth, feeling like for the first time, they had both found their way home.

Tagging @glitchinginthegarden @trashcatsnark @skippygiraffee @neon-pink-witch @synthsinner and anyone else who wants to give it a go! ❤️

For the words stop, alone, and warm

[themindelectricdemo4]

i think to myself lke. back lke 2 year ago, im like...my friendship with my friends was so good, what happened?

really, i let myself go. i got a lot of disappointment in my regular life (couldnt get disability, more illnesses, treatment failing, family dying) i found that gong to college has helped me so much. because its like...setting a life for myself. getting a routine. having something to wake up for.

when all i wanted to wake up was for my friends, they were the brunt of everything, especially my moodiness that was becoming more & more unstable. i keep wanting to apologize but i hope i can form better wording in my head that articulates what i want to say the most (firstly that it doesnt justify my actions, and secondly, that im not crawling back to rekindle) im kind of stuck with overthnking it, so honestly.......it could be a world where i never directly apologize because i fear what my words sound like

i havent changed in that aspect in that i miss the connotation of my words often...maybe i could show it to my partner for proof reading, but i wouldnt want to involve a lot of people or anything ive accepted this is my human flaw & i continue to try & wrap my head around implications but it doesnt work. i do feel dumb ..oh well what can i do. i try to ask people to ask for clarification if they think something i said was weird (because if my intentions were mean ...i would want to make sure you knew for sure ...LOL.) but if they dont.. dont know what to do. but ive find in college, my friends ask me, they respect that, they make me feel like a human being & not some dumb (insert a barrage of slurs i could call myselfhere). self inflicted words..because i wish i could just learn social shit like a normal person & i feel dumb for not being able to mask this, or be able to study it enough to even pretend like i understand

im happy with the way my life is going now... i went to college, met my partner irl, i havent thought about genuinely kmsing myself in a good while now, like i couldnt go a month or two without planning it in my head, but im...actually doing good? its crazy...even my psych said she was so proud of me today saying she couldve never imagined me how i am today just because of how bad i was. i dont take that as a negative btw cuz thats me past tense. im proud of it.!!! really like, after whatever the fuck happened in august '23 i was like, ok. no more of this shit.

& it worked? i got all As, im in college. holy shit. the several times i would blow up on my friendsin the past into HUGE fights? the most heated i got was exactly one time where i snapped after a long day of being spoken over (by this person that i didnt particularly want to hang out with, as agreed upon with my friend because even that person agreed we didnt have a lot in common) & that...was it??? like im shocked. all my rage . gone . whar. .. & my friends are like.......they ask me what im doing/feeling based on things i do cuz they think im mad (the rbf & monotone voice) & im like oh!! oh my gosh no, im good! im sorry for worrying u & they were like oh! dw just checking. cuz i curated the baddest bitches of autistics who just get it fr . me & my current bestie we just ask each other the most blunt questions to get clarity on situations & i love that 4 us ... hes supa nice. love all my fends . but wow idk im proud of myself & this turned into a ramble where im positive cuz i was acually gettng mad at myself sadge but yea. i do wanna apologize but im afraid of being misconstrued & my paranoia over this manifests into probably never doing it. i got lving with my mother probably to blame fo r that (dont get me started on the shit she pulled over winter break that everyone in my family agrees she is ridiculous for with physical proof ok im reeling

[grimsneverendingfuneral]

Aw, Grim, you’re so sweet! But you don’t needa worry about me, I promise! I’m trying to stay positive, catching up on books or shows I can’t get to because I’m usually very busy. It’s silly, I know, but at least it’s better than bein all depressed. I play football and my coach told me I can’t play until it’s healed which really bummed me, especially since we have a game on Thursday. But I’m looking at the positives! So if you have any shows you recommend… 🤲

Okay the how is kind of stupid, but I’ll tell you anyway. I broke my arm playing football, fell right on the goal post and put my arm out to break the fall… yeah. And my wrist, well. I’m very short, like 150cm short, and I weigh nothing, so I climb. Not rock climbing, I mean climbing up my furniture; in this case, the huge bookcase I have, so I can reach the top books. I feel like you can kind of see where this is going. So I climbed it as usual, to get to the book I need, since I stupidly keep all my important books and school stuff at the tippy top. And I tried grabbing the book I needed with my now good arm, the one that I’d just gotten the cast off of, but it fell. It’s a heavy book so I didn’t want it to make a noise and disturb my neighbours so I kind of tried chasing it down with my arm?

It didn’t work and I ended up falling haha. I tried stopping it by landing with my hands out to break the fall but I didn’t want to risk my arm to breaking after it just healed, so I only used one hand. I don’t know how to explain it well, but my hand sort of landed between the floor and the book that fell. Surprisingly, it doesn’t even end there! I also slammed the big ass metal front door of my flat on my hand. Broke my wrist in four places lol.

I haven’t had a chance to listen to your song yet, but I will today! Pinky promise :)

Anyways! Question time, Grim… What’s a hobby you had as a kid? Do you like painting your nails? What’s your preferred method of transportation (e.g.: bus, train, car)? What’s something that made your week/day better? 🎤

ooohhhh you play football??? oh fuck yeah. youre so cool for that. but one thing though...... is it football like british football aka soccer or american football lmfao

i cant believe this story though wowwwwwoooww..... i truly understand your thought process. we do weird stuff like that when we're alone, us humans. you try to save your ass by making a move that ultimately has another part of your body suffering. i get it. i do it all the time. as someone who lives alone, i always have to be extra careful as to how i do things cause if i fuck up, no ones gonna save me lol. glad youre taking this time to just consume sick ass media. nothing better

OK SHOWS I RECOMMEND FUCK there are a lot. take your pick: Shameless (US version fo sho), My Mad Fat Diary, Friday Night Lights (football show that changed my brain chemistry), The Sopranos, Fellow Travelers (gay), It's A Sin (gay), Pose (one of the best shows ive ever watched), Freaks And Geeks (1 season only show), It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia (if you just wanna shut your brain off) and uuhhh any cartoon like Bojack Horseman, Simpsons, Rick And Morty is also sick (to me) you can just shut your brain off while watching it. all these shows are mad entertaining

A hobby i had as a kid......damn i had a lot. I would draw compulsively honestly, like anywhere i could. Any piece of paper. I would also play imaginary games with complex scenarios all the time and act out the entire Peter Pan live action movie from 2003 with my friend. i would collect keychains and had this bouncy ball i was obsessed with that i would just bounce off the walls. i went to circus school too so i did a lot of shit on the jungle gym at the park like every day. always tryna impress the other kids lol. nothings changed

i also do paint my nails! always with some sparkly polish though. i dont like to wear dark color polish or anything too matte so its always a combo of different glittersss

my preferred method of transportation is my bike!! but its winter 6 months outta the year here so when i cant take it i like walking the most or the bus. the subway here makes me feel claustrophobic fr. my parents are giving me their car though in the summer so im about to be a gay man that drives aaayyyyyyy

something that made my week better........hm probably dancing with my friends. it was disco night and i had my flask in my pocket so i got to drink for freeeeee. also writing the first two chapters of my rosekiller fic AAANNND getting an ask from you!!!!

okok i feel like i KNOW the game is YOU ask ME questions, but here lemme return the sentiment: what is a dream youve had that you'll always remember?

[azlovesem]

So what? I still beat them ssnseless everyone. Thise americans can hide the fact they list bad to ne all they want. I think the girls are in a good position now to do well wexlp see. Anyone rlse pisses me off ill send Michael back dien there and bury all of them too. People do t understand i dont really giveva fuck because you people think too lych fir my liking. Its been narked in permanent record you peopkes hirdibke loss. You can talk about whatever youbwsnt on the tv. Ill fnidh you all off if yoh wanna bitch or grow actual big noce man balls like i have and fuel. A gun duel snu of yas. Look Wmma see them sll tyrn yellow, see tgat giy hes never getting out of jsol ever i did that to him. Hi diddy. Yo namma. Dhe beyter shut the fuck ip and thats that you aint evef toucjn road again. Ever. Youre getn like 50 years yo. Abd i furl any ounk ads fuckn rappa slive. Any if ya but nobe of em eoukd show up Emma ya seee they turned yellow too. I was telling you qt all along i fo t have enemies. There is no such thing as an evemy if Gid ir mone. Nobodies that tough srpund here and i proved it. Cgslkenges for fueling are clised Michael best these fuckn assholes to a pulp with that stotm iscthat what you want punk? No everyone in the eorkd saw me crush you, in jail that neans i run the range now. Tgis ehole pkanet idls s prison im the yard boss. Ill kill your ass if you gwt put of line easily. Youll just be dead snd tgstlp ve that for anyone. Except gor you sweetoe i csnt help but make you an exception sorry. Yeah i dont carecwhat any money hungry monkeys say they are doomed most if then will be dead sokn. They can count their billions in hell. I hare smericsn nedua sxcum bags lets together contwct Micharl and have thaf atorn anihilate clorida. Except Rachels spot. Strangely thetll just not get the beating the rest of the place does. These people if you look vvlosrly Emma ate garbage people. Just because you have friends there and not everyones do bad means nothing yo God. Its an illudion if God loves thise assholes so lych why are they getting besten srbseless. Ww3 is wbout to break out. Worry about that. Just because a few of yheee shit bags know you dies not exonerate them. I love her for some reason butvthat ding gafs a child loke her whole race. And the nen are sll nonces i cabt tryck with nonces. The americabs are dirty nonces. Michael reembervthwt line theytexall nonces as tou wipe out the east coast. I csn chwnge this order gir now its KiLL EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Religion wont save you. Pray sll you want i vlosed that chanbel no kne cares no ones listening. Yoyre finushed on my earth. Ragurl noin the fight Gabriel you too. Cursh them all once and for slllllllllll it says there is an end. Why not now? As good a time as any to have this war. You people aint tough.

Good day my ever loyal fans ❤️❤️

[twntyfiveotwo]

i know my fking issue

yes i know. i fking know. i dont care about love. i dont care about who loves me or who i love. all i love is the feeling of being loved. which is why i always become insanely infatuated when i have a dream of me being delicately loved by a face i dont recognise. which is why i lock myself in my memories and reminisce all the good feelings i once had. you see, i know how insane and pathetic it sounds. but it feels good. to know, to remember that i was once loved.

he loved me at a time when i didnt know how to love myself. he loved me at my lowest, when i was so fking depressed and so desperate for love. he was my double edge sword - the cause of my anxiety because i would spend hours with him rather than on things i should do. but also, my safe space. if anything, every night i always always looked forward to our pillow talk with one another. and we would share our vulnerabilities with each other. it feels so raw, yet so real. and the first time he said "i love you" was before we even met each other. i wanted to see him, but i also would rather save myself the look of disgust that would appear on his face because i knew for sure no one would accept my physical appearance. impulsively, we made plans to meet, we booked all our places. and 2 days before meeting, i pushed myself to face my fear and sent him a real time picture of me. he told me, "i'm sorry but i dont think i can continue this". understandable, at least he got the courage to reject me directly.

i travelled as planned. i persuaded him to come down. i said "no strings attached, just come out and we hang as friends if thats ok. i dont have any other company here". he declined. he said he doesnt think it's appropriate. but yet we continued to play games and talked like nothing was wrong. later that night, he told me he was coming down to hang. im like sure, knowing full well how the night would go. we watched a horror movie, and after the movie ended we fucked. as always. allowing my body to be used by a man that doesnt love me. but who the fk cares at this point. the next day i went out with my friends. i left half of my cash with him because he said he was going out and i was concerned that he might not have enough money. we met later at night at a bar, together with my friends. we all drank and played drinking games together. at that point of time tbh fwb was probably the best description for whatever we shared. so we didnt cross each others' boundaries. then as we were going back to where i stayed together, i got tipsy-excited and started doing little skips in front of him. i remember turning back to wait for him, and then walking off side by side with him. as we were about to cross a road, he held my hand. i didnt dare to hold back. i just thought to myself, "what a kind gesture. he is probably worried for me because im drunk and he wouldnt want me running across the road". what caught me off guard was that he didnt let go even after we crossed the road. he continued to hold my hand as we walked all the way back to our accomodation. and when we were back, we fucked again. after the fucking, i asked him, "does this mean that we are back together?" he said, "what do you think?" i said "i dont know" he questioned me, "do you want us to be back together?" and i said, "yea". he nodded his head. i asked him, "what is it that made you want to reconcile?" he said, "im not sure either". i assumed it was cause i happened to be convenient.

or maybe not. because if it was just out of convenience he didn't have to be so sweet to me:

i still remember how we ran under the sudden downpour when we were walking to one of our karaoke sessions. we both ended up being soaking wet. but the first thing he did was to make sure i was alright. he tried to wipe me dry, despite how much of a mess i was. if that wasnt romance, idk what is.

i still remember how excited he looked when i came down from the bus during my second trip. and when we arrived at our hotel, i found it hard to use the toilet because i couldnt stand floor with small tiles. he offered and asked me to stand on his feet despite my size. if that wasnt romance, idk what is.

i still remember how much of a crowd there was during new years eve. and there were all those annoying fuckers that would horn the new year trumpet right in front of our faces. i was overwhelmed. the moment he noticed that, instead of leading me from the front, he walked behind me and cupped my ears as we walked through the crowd. if that wasnt romance, idk what is.

i still remember how there was one time he went out with he friends to drink. he called me when he was drunk and started crying, saying that he missed me. if that wasnt romance, idk what is.

i still remember on my third trip there, he squeezed in a part time job shift just so we can use some extra cash for our date. if that wasnt romance, idk what is.

i still remember how we climaxed together for the last sex that we had, and i guess it felt really good for him. when we were showering together, he looked at me with those googly eyes. i shyed away from it, and asked him why was he looking at me like that. he said he found me cute. if that wasnt romance, idk what is.

i still remember how he came back from his pt shift way past midnight and craved for some cold beer. i offered to go down to buy by myself cause he said he was tired. i went to the convenience store and snapped a pic asking him if that was the correct beer. he called me and asked me where was i. i said the convenience store. he said "stand there, im coming down. when i asked you to go down and buy i meant the front counter of the hotel, not the convenience store! do you know how dangerous it is for you to go out alone this late at night?" and when he reached, the first thing he did was to check up and down that i was alright while holding on to my shoulders. despite being tired. if that wasnt romance, idk what is.

but so what. so fking what. all the moments above didnt change the fact that he ghosted on me. he could have said something if he wanted to break up. maybe my anxious attachment style made it hard for him to breathe. but say something darling, i would have let you go. because truth be told, neither of us were made for long distance r/s. i want to believe that there were some pocket of moments when he loved me. actually, you know what, i do believe there were some moments that he loved me. but i guess, the love was not enough for us to overcome the struggles of a ldr. not that it matter, because this r/s is long over.

but thanks, i guess. he made me feel loved during a time when i didnt think anyone was capable of loving me. and while the rs was short lived, it was one of the sweetest rs i had. in fact, listening to the songs he shared to me & reliving through all these memories made me feel like wow, i actually once had a novel-like romance. so, thanks for that i guess. i still miss you sometimes, why wouldnt i. but boy, the heartbreak you gave me at that time. it drove me insane. but since when does love not drive me crazy. it always does.

[missfailureherself]

heyy its me againn

Once again ım here bc ı messed up. I messed up at school. Well since ı was never happy in there ı guess it can’t be helped. I fucking hate uni actally ı hate all kinds of schools. They gave me anxiety and all kinds of insecurities. I tought ı was at least smart but now even thats gone. I fucked up my finals and ı might have ruined the only chance to escape from my home even for a little while. Hell this is so messed up. Im a horrible person. And a total failure too! I dont know what to do anymore living feels too hard. Too heavy, too unbearable. I just sometimes wish to die and ı cant even do that because ım a coward. I want to yell but  my voice wont come out. And back then when it did nobody heard it anyway so ıdk what is the point in screaming. But still ı guess ı want to relieve even the slightest pain ı can. I cant do this anymore please someone end this pain. Im the perfect example on how to ruin yourself. I mean not exactly myself but school did it. It caused a lot of trauma and it is effecting my still. Even when ım in college I am supposed to be a grown ass adult but ı never felt like that. ı just cant kill the child inside but ı know ı have to because that child is too fucking sensitive and cares about even the smallest shit. I know ım hurting myself but ı cant stop, ı cant stop myself on the inside. Oh god ı pity that child so much ı wish ı could hug her and tell her that its not her fault. She did not deserve all that bullying and mental violance. Im proud of my younger self because she hanged so well that even my adult ass cant do that. I wish back then someone told me that maybe things wouldn’t enp up like that. And my goddamn heart it doesnt even work perfecly phsically so why do i feel emotions so deep. I act like ıdc ıdgf but in truth I DO GIVE A SHIT. Please dont hurt my feelings more just because ı dont cry in front of you. I do have feelings too Just in case you didn’t know and ı most certainly didn’t need that comment about my body  thank you for that bc ı starved myself fo almost a whole fucking year. Im sorry my old self ı was too hard on you. Im sorry but dont worry now ım having the best karma ı could have. I hate myself even more now. I dont feel pretty no matter how much makeup ı put on. I hate going out, ı hate people, ı hate interacting, ı hate pretending, ı hate everything. But what ı hate most is myself. Im really dissapointed in myself so i can understand my parents. I dont even love myself how could ı expect them to love me. Im not a lovable person so no one here is at fault. Oh but before ı forget ı hope if ım alive in the next years when ı read this ı wish to say “wow ı survived this ım fucking strong and now ım here proudly and standing still and strong.” Hope you’ll say this future me!

[bma-2020]

me: makes a singular mistake at work

me, an autis/tic who overreacts but also knows her boss overreacts somtimes and could potentially do it bc hears all the complaining of past ppl constantly: WHAT IF I GET FIRED IF I GET FIRED I DONT DERERVE TO BE ALIVE WHAT IF PROOF THAT I AM A WORTHLESS HAPPENS AND THEREFORE I ENED TO BE DIED I AM ANXIETY I AM NOT OKAY I CANT NBREATHE

[noonevincesme]

.

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

prohero!bakugou who just got one of the best offers of his early career

its got so much goin for him

it would give him experience overseas/out of country, inside work and extensive fieldwork, near constant communications with other seasoned heroes on sight, its described as a long term gig, and after its all wrapped up it would undoubtedly give him a good shove up the charts and get himcloser to his goal that much sooner

the catch? he'll have little to no open contact with those he leaves for this specific job

when it's offered to him, he says he needs a day or two to think about it which shocked the people who reached out. they thought he'd jump at the chance to go- and he would've if not for that lousy ass catch

he goes home that night and immediately tells you about it

he explains that it's looking to be a long process job and being out of the country

you tell him he should totally take it- but then he tells you that he wouldn't be able to talk to you often or maybe even at all for whatever reason

you definitely have mixed feelings- knowing that he'd be gone for so long with nothing to keep you grounded while he's gone

but you dont want to hold him back either

"if you don't want me to go, i'll turn it down."

and he's dead serious too

the whole reason he wanted to think about it was to give you a chance to make him stay- bc he would

he would give up this opportunity in a heartbeat bc not only would it be hard on you- but he'd miss the hell out of you too

if cabin fever was possible to feel towards a person, katsuki knows if he goes he'd feel it towards you

it'd be homesickness pumped up to the max and with no outlet to talk to all those miles away (his friends and you not by his side)- he wouldn't know how to cope

"you should take it"

mans is flabbergasted honestly

he gave you full rights to tell him to tell them 'no' but here you are- telling him to go anyways

"you realized i could be gone months with no authorization to contact you. not you, my folks, or any of the other idiots."

theres a hidden fear he's not bringing up and it's not like he's avoiding it, he just doesn't know how to say it without sounding absolutely pathetic

"you really think i should take the offer?" he's hesitant and quiet when asking you- just to see if maybe you'll change your answer

"Of course i do, this is a big opportunity. the last thing you want is someone else to snatch that up when it's being delivered to you on a silver platter."

he starts nervously toying with your clothes. picking at your shirt hem and pitching the fabric between his fingers

and definitely not making eye contact

"plus," he tuts to signal he's listening "you know you'd beat yourself up if you turned it down."

he huffs absolutely hating that you were right

"I'm shocked you didn't just accept it the moment they told you honestly," you lightly laughed at him as he slightly sent a scowl up at you

"you said we needed to talk about important shit like this- so im tryin' to fuckin' listen"

"Is that all?"

he hated how you could always tell that when he was baring his heart to you, you could still tell he was keeping something else

"we haven't been apart for that long, have we?"

"well no, but it's to be expected"

"and we wont be able to talk or see each other"

"yes, so you've told me"

"what if..." he huffs, planting his forehead on your shoulder so he wouldn't have to look at you "what if i come back and you don't love me anymore?"

“what?” That was eve last thing you expect to come out of his mouth

“I’ll be gone for fuck knows how long and I won’t be able to talk to you or see you or listen to you- so I’m just...” the unspoken ‘worried’ didn’t need to be said

You understood

“Well, what if you come back and you don’t love me?”

His head snaps from its previous resting place and the expression he wore was like you just said the stupidest thing known to language

You light tap your fingers on his forehead shifting his expression to more of a ‘what was that for?’ scowl

“You see how that feels? Being worried over things you shouldn’t be?”

Your way or comforting him was sometimes awkward and sometimes bit weird, but he has to admit to did help settle the concern in his gut

“Even if I can’t reply,” he starts and your sure now that his mind was made up. “Even if I can’t do shit, I still want you to text me”

“Will that be okay?”

“If you don’t I’m going to be the most insufferable hero on the team; they’ll wanna send me back”

You laugh at him and he cracks a smile too. After so long frowning, the upwards turn in his lips was a sight for sore eyes

“Alright then. What should I text about?”

“Everything. I want to know when you wake up, when you go to bed. I want you to tell me about your day and what you are for meals- and if you skip meals, you better cough up the truth or else” he pitched your side at his faux threat

“I just want to know it all. And- and maybe the occasional voicemail wouldn’t be unappreciated so i can hear your voice from time to time”

Katsuki still has some issues with swallowing his pride and being “mushy” so you were proud of the requests he was making without much pushing from you- not that you’d made him say it if he really couldn’t have

He contacted the heroes who had offered him a spot in their team for the mission and told them he accept it

He then took the remaining days he has left before departure with you

Taking time off patrols and only doing minimal work through his laptop at home when you were taking a shower or sleeping.

He’d help with all the household chores on his newly found window of down time.

Going shopping with you and holding spices he wanted to buy over his head so when you tried to grab it and put it back- it was well out of your reach.

Cooking new dishes you both hasn’t tried before, binging random shows, even being attached to your hip sitting on the couch as you both preoccupied yourselves

He wanted to spend every second possible by your side until he wasn’t anymore

When you drop him off at the airport security gate, you weren’t sure if he’d let you go. The hug he gave you felt right and secure and he wishes he could pick you up and take you with him

It was an early morning flight and it was barely 3 in the morning- it was for the nest bc less people had the chance to see dynamight clinging to his partner like a touch starved koala

“‘m gonna fuckin miss you so much”

You scratch at the nape of his neck and feel him huff into your own as his palms spread in your back- lifting you to your toes on the verge of swaying side to side

“I’ll miss you too, katsuki” you’d be lying if you said you weren’t getting choked up

When he fight let’s you go, he’s cupping your face and running his thumbs under your misty eyes

He’s mapping out your face and the way you look so he can burn it into his brain. The pictures he had in his phone wouldn’t be enough, he has to remember how you feel under his hands

“Remember your promise,” he instructs and you chuckle- a bubble of emotions in your throat

“I’ll make sure to text you so often you’ll wish you hadn’t told me to”

“That’s what I like to hear”

He kisses you goodbye before being ushered through security and before you can even get to an open public seat in the airport (bc you want to wait until his fight takes off before going home) you get a text

-I miss you already dammit-

You laugh, rubbing at your still wet eyes at the seemingly thick impatience he’s using to show how he feels

You figure he’s just doing this since he won’t have a chance in the future- so parking your butt in a chair you indulge him

-I bet I miss you more-

-I seriously doubt it-

-you’ll push me to the back of your mind the moment you land overseas and shift into dynamight mode!-

-yeah, fat chance. you’re always on my mind-

You smile at your phone and when he finally tells you he’s boarding the sinking feeling of being alone finally hits you- but you don’t regret this decision

You receive one last phone call from katsuki just before he needs to shut his phone down

You can hear the loud humming of the plane and the clambering background noise of others boarding that are coming in the mission too

“I love you” is all he says. And it’s all you say back.

Because you do- you both do.

“I’ll see you soon, okay? Kick some ass for me”

“Oh, you know I will, babe”

Then the line ends. And soon after his plane take off. You’ll miss him like hell, but you know he’ll be back

-x-x-x-

a/n: Pardon any spelling errors. Started this on laptop- finished it on phone and I have quite the track record for typos LOL they (may) be fixed later on