#everytime i see a little too much blood it reminds me of when i did it and i feel sick to my stomach
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tw stupid vent in tags
#tw self harm#tw vent#“being a teenager is the best!” I CUT MYSELF ALMST EVERYDAY.#IVE SCARRED MYSELF SO BAD ILL NEVER EVER BE ABLE TO WEAR SHORT SLEEVES NO MTTER HOW LONG IT SBENE SINCE IT HAPPENED#I ONYL SPEAK TO LIKE ONE OR TWO PEOPLE IRL I AM DETERIORATING#I ALREADY HAVE A FUCKING SCAR SO BIG U CAN FEEL WHERE IT GETS DEEP#HOW .#HOW IS THIS GOOD#HOW DO I HAVE HTE BEST LIFE HOW R PEOPLE JEALOUS#WHENEVER I GET MISGENDERED I CANT HELP BUT BITE MYSELF UNTIL I BLEED which is really hard to do...#IM SO SIKKC OF IT#IM SO TIREDD.#im going insane again arent i#THERES NOT BEEN A WEEK WITHOUT SELF HARM SINCE GOD KNOWS WHEN#EVERY LIMB HURTS except my right leg specifically i saved that one for spare parts#oh and my goddamn mother only cares about how ill look because of the scars and not that im FUCKING BLEEDING OUT BCUZ OF HER NO LESS#DOES IT GET BETTER. DO I STOP CUTTING MYSELF??#everytime i see a little too much blood it reminds me of when i did it and i feel sick to my stomach
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“withering desires of a cruel man with broken confessions” ; aventurine
to you : 🧀 nonnie !! i hope you had a wonderful birthday and i’m sorry for taking a long time to finish this but hey, it’s done now (finally). belated happy birthday and i wish you all the best <33
premise — his belief that he doesn’t deserve the good things is rooted deeply underneath the dirt where he buries his corpse, and he doesn’t deserve you; this is an ode to clementia and he wishes that his song reaches you.
tags — w/ gender-neutral reader, fluff to angst, friends to friends that knows they like each other, orange as a metaphor for love, angry and forced love confessions, aven my self-sabotage and mixed signals king, 1.5k ; one-shot
note — made while listening to phoebe bridgers, faye webster, adrianne lenker, and ichiko aoba. this was supposed to be a short drabble about peeling oranges and sharing with them what happened
They say clementines are a symbol for mercy—gentle, soft, and sweet, like an echo of the sun.
There’s the fresh smell of citrus in the air as he delicately pulls its skin to reveal its form, a warm burst of sunset trapped within its fragile walls, and his nails will be tainted by the color of its penance and he’ll forget what it feels like to only have hatred in his heart. Maybe that’s how forgiveness tastes; salvation will fill his blood as he sheds tears that carry his sins (they were never his).
“I don’t know how you can do that flawlessly.” You say, your voice drenched in wonder and amazement as you watch the movement of his fingers, adeptly peeling the fruit. The sections come apart neatly and perfectly in his hands.
He smiles, “It’s easy.”
“It’s not.” You insist, reminding him of the horror of the state the orange has become when you tried to share it with him. “Did you see the holes I tore through it? I was left with nothing but the mere coat because the juice sprayed in all directions.”
The sound of laughter forms in his throat and escapes, “It’s because it was small and the skin is hard. Come on.” He holds a small piece near your face and you part your lips open enough for him to feed you; a warm feeling resides in your cheeks as you chew. There’s a burst of sweetness, with hints of sourness that lingered in its nature in your mouth—it reminds you of the night when he held your form and gently guided you to the melody of the song.
“Is it sweet?” He asks, his head tilted a little to the side as he bores his gaze at you. There are lingering touches, whispered honey-coated words, affectionate gestures, and eyes painted of different vivid hues and contrasting pristine tones that never seem to hold the light, only reflecting your form within. You hum, nodding your head as you answer, “You should teach me how to peel them, you know. I don’t want to be calling you everytime or having to rely on you too much.”
(Truthfully, and hopefully so, may you never learn so he’ll get to be this close to you always.)
He smiles, sunshine peeking through his expression, “I wouldn’t mind.” He wouldn’t mind if it were just a small matter or nothing at all, you can keep on calling for him, ask for his assistance or simply just his presence—he’ll come running to you. He whispers, “Use me as you wish,” and his words shatter as it falls to the ground. (See him as a tool that has never known its purpose. See him as worthless but mere dust that covers your window sills. See him as nothing but a fool who never understood the lines in his heart.)
You say, “You know you’re not just as little as that to me.”
“Then what am I to you?” The comfort of silence settles in the gaps of his fingers and he finds himself seeking, waiting, with bated breath. His gaze seems to still at your eyes before falling to your lips, lingering for a few moments before meeting your eyes once more, and your hands tremble; you know the answer, you know what to say, you know, you know, you know, you know—and, at once, there’s the warm feeling of his lips on yours as you pull him in, as he pulls you in.
It’s gentle, soft in all of its edges and cracks. He holds your face in his hands and you intertwine yours in his locks, and you pull at his hair, eliciting a hum from him. It’s a burst of warmth, the taste of something sweet still left in your tongue as he kisses you. It’s short yet it will be engraved and buried in the depths of your mind for eternity.
“I like you.” You whisper against his lips as you part, eyes heavy on each other yet his gaze wavers and his breath shudders.
“I…” Why else would he continuously seek your embrace? Why else would he prefer to be alone with you even if it’s just silence between you and him (your presence alone brings him comfort)? Why else would he take such time to understand your form and cradle your being as if you were born from glass? He didn’t have your hands carve the shape of his thoughts into the form of your being just so he wouldn’t capture the feeling of your touch on his skin and how he craves, yearns for it like a starved man—and yet, he’ll hold his head down in humiliation as he looks for the words on the ground. He’s worthless, useless, nothing like his ‘luck’ that seems to curse everyone around him, and you’re everything he’s not. “I’m sorry.”
His hands fall from your cheeks and he stands up, saying, “I’m sorry, I have to go.”
The chair screeches beneath him; his thoughts remain silent yet deafening, your voice fading into white noise as you call for him. He has to leave—each of his footsteps are heavy, echoing back to him as if a semblance to contempt and mockery that trails his wake.
Fear and shame forms at the bottom of his lungs. What even is he afraid of? Is it the lack of experience? The fear of abandonment? But humans are not strangers to those thoughts, people are bound to leave and Aventurine wasn’t unfamiliar with that, so how could he be afraid of something that has become a friend to him? Maybe it’s when he’s torn apart from flesh to bones and they’ll see there’s nothing in him—he was born out of barren wastelands and dust, his form has been long since buried under the golden sands. Maybe it's when he’s shown everything to them and they seek for something that he doesn’t have; the disappointment that lies in their expression will forever haunt him. Was it fear or was it worry that nobody could ever love him for what he truly is? Behind the expensive clothes he wears, the shining and heavy jewelry on his wrist, the suffocating rings on his hand, maybe they prefer his skin tainted with letters instead of wounds that brands him as human.
“—Rine.” A hand grasps at his wrist, preventing him from leaving. He stills in his position, feet glued to the floor and his back turned against you. Your voice breaks, “Stay, please.”
He’s stuck, sutured to the ground, hesitation sewing his mouth shut. You urge him to turn around, your fingers tugging at him, so he could face you, so you could see him—he’s tattered, torn and conflicted over something you’ll never know. The unfriendly air of the cold night wraps around his figure, but your hand eases warmth and comfort in his weary bones.
“Why did you kiss me?” You seek for something in the gaps of his expression, looking for a falter in the lines of his features to know the thoughts that he hides beneath all the charades and facades.
“…It was a mistake.”
You answer, frustration slowly seeping into your tone, “You know damn well it’s not.” He knows completely well it’s not and it will never be. And you don’t cry nor plead, you beg with sore, trembling palms for an answer to soothe the disturbance of the waves that will come to swallow you, drowning you in the murky waters of your mind. “You don’t get to hold my hands and cradle me in yours and tell me it’s nothing. You don’t get to look at me in a way that is reminiscent of lovers and tell me it doesn’t mean anything. You don’t get to kiss me and say that it’s a mistake. You’re a cruel man, Aventurine, and you’re unfair for telling me that it was all nothing but a mistake when you haunt my dreams.”
“…I’m sorry.” He closes his eyes for a moment, darkness swallowing his vision yet his mind conjures an image of you in it, berating him. The broken pieces of your words are left scattered on the bottom of yours and his feet.
You ask, voice low, “Do you like me?”
“Why—“
“It’s a yes or no question, ‘Rine. Do you like me or do you not?”
“I love you.” His voice is raised and cracks start to form on the surface of his expression, “and it’s scaring me.” Forgive me. The clock continues to tick despite the world seemingly coming to a still at his words.
The air is suffocating and the silence sits on your shoulders before he says, whispering in a broken tone, “I’m leaving.”
And this time, you don’t stop him. His steps are rushed against the flooring, the sound of the door closing echoes throughout the corners of your mind. The walls of your home stand tall over you, his confession written and tearing through all over your wallpaper, screaming at you; you’re left crumbling on the floor. The sweet scent of citrus lingers in the air, the mess the two of you made still on the counter tops, and you wished you told him you love him too.
tagging @toorurs, the loveliest and sweetest of all. i hope you know that you're cherished and loved by me, and i'm so glad to have you and the sun that touches your skin must be too <33 always be reminded that you're beautiful and i appreciate everything that you do and say (you always make me laugh even when it's just the smallest and useless of things like wow you must have a special talent in making someone smile) !! thank you for always being there for me too and always cheering me up, and also making my day because everything for me nowadays is becoming unbearable and you're the only one that keeps me sane (fk exams and projects and research im going to cry)
© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.
#—stellaronhvnters.#hsr imagines#aventurine#hsr aventurine#aventurine honkai star rail#aventurine x reader#honkai star rail#hsr fluff#hsr x reader#hsr angst#hsr#star rail#honkai fluff#honkai imagines#honkai x reader#honkai#aventurine x you#hsr x you#honkai star rail x reader#star rail x reader#azul.writes
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CW: Discriptions of gore. Mentions of bullying. Mentions of stalking. Reader discretion is advised.
Notes: I hate him (lie).
My darling. A small note before we begin. I made this journal to document our whole lives together!! I really hope you don’t mind but it really is important I document everything! One day when we get married We will be getting married. You would look amazing and I would love you so much I’ll give you this book and we can reflect on our love together!! Maybe we can show our kids too? Only if you’re ok with that after all!! I wouldn’t want to force you!
That would make me a bad husband.
Friday. Sixteenth of August. Time: 10:50 AM.
Wearing: School issued uniform. Plain white socks. Black shoes.
It was maybe five minutes ago? I can't remember exactly. I’m in the Chemistry Classroom, writing this all down. My heart is pounding right out of my chest!! I can’t think straight. I was being teased again I hate those sick fucks why can’t they die I hope they die I’ll kill them I’ll kill them I’ll kill them and you came to save me!! I swear I fell in love. You were incredible, and so beautiful.
You asked me if I was okay.
I’m sorry I didn’t respond. I just got so nervous I couldn't speak! You made me like this.
And then you touched me.
Ahh just thinking about your hand on my shoulder makes my heart race again! I’m sorry I didn’t get your name. I’ll look it up in the school files when I get home!
I hope we can see each other tomorrow.
Monday. Nineteenth of August. Time: 11:10 AM.
Wearing: School issued uniform. Plain white socks. Black shoes.
I didn’t get to see you on the weekend my dear. :(
I’m sorry. I know you must’ve missed me a lot since I wasn’t there but I had to go to the hospital. It’s ok. I’m ok so you don’t need to worry your pretty little head my dear. I promise the break wasn’t useless though! I realised what I wanted to say to you as a thank you for helping me out on Friday!! You’re so sweet and kind and you smell so good always look so amazing. I hope we can eat lunch together! Or hang out in the library? Oh that reminds me - I found out your name! Sneaking into the school and accessing the files is super easy when you know what you’re doing!!
Did you know I can donate my blood to you?
It’s amazing right!! I hope you’ll never need me to because that would mean you're hurt but if worst comes to worst you can have my blood! I’d give you all my blood if you wanted.
I’ll add more when I manage to thank you.
Time: 11:23 AM.
I did it!! Did you see? Are you proud of me? I think you are. You gave me a smile that said ‘Kyle! I’m proud of you.’ Ahhh. I’m worried I stuttered too much. I’m sorry I can’t help it. You drive me insane. Just thinking of you makes me so red in the cheeks. You’re so perfect. I really do love you, did you know.
Tuesday. Twentieth of August. Time: 9:10 AM.
Wearing: School issued uniform, top button of shirt is undone. Black shoes.
We’re in the same Biology class! I’m sitting on the desk to your left. I don't think you’ve noticed me yet. That’s ok. You’re focused on your work. I’ll try not to disturb you.
Since I’m so close I noticed a few crumbs on your lips. It must be from breakfast. I really want to lick them off you. And you would smile and thank me for being such a considerate boyfriend. But unfortunately you might think it’d be a bit strange if I did that wouldn’t you? Seeing as it’s only been a few days since we’ve met.
It’s ok.
I don’t mind waiting.
You look so focused on your work. It’s so adorable. How is it that everytime I notice something new about you I just fall harder and harder in love with you? Have you cursed me maybe? Put a spell on me?
I want to slice open your skin and crawl inside.
Wednesday. Twenty first of August. Time: 1:14 PM.
Wearing: School issued uniform. Plain black socks. Black shoes. Science lab coat. Blue gloves.
We had Biology together again. We have it together on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. You have no idea how happy that makes me. We were doing an experiment today. A dissection. Did you know I’m really good at those? The smoothness of a scalpel is so nice. How easy it is to cut with one. It glides over the skin with such ease. You’ll never even notice the cut until it starts bleeding.
I want to taste your blood. You’d let me right? I want to lick it off your skin.
You seemed to be very concentrated on the dissection. A few of the other students were whispering about you. I think it was my fault. I’m sorry. They think I’m weird.
Not you though!
You’re good.
You’re different.
I can’t wait for us to be married.
Thursday. Twenty second of August. Time: 3:00 PM.
Wearing:
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Friday. Twenty third of August. Time: 12:06 PM.
Wearing: School issued uniform. Plain black socks. Black shoes.
I’m sorry for freaking out yesterday. Apparently you had a doctor's appointment. That’s ok. You should warn me next time you decide you can’t come to school. You scared me. But that’s ok.
I’m ok.
You’re ok.
So I’m ok.
Other than that. Today is our one week anniversary of being together! Except you don’t really know that do you?
That’s okay!!
I made a cake this morning. I’m not very good at cooking so I was looking on Reddit and 4chan for help. I managed to make something! I slipped it in your locker for you to enjoy when you get home!!
I love you.
Taglist: @mono273
© Written By https-Alberich. Do not copy, steal or translate without permission.
#🔪 . . . [save] . .#yandere oc#yandere#yandere boy#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere boyfriend#yandere x darling#yandere scenarios#yandere male#male yandere#yanblr#darling x yandere#desperate yandere#tw yandere#x reader#yandere delinquent
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Biker!Seonghwa x Nurse!Reader
Your pregnancy cravings kick in at 2am, unfortunately, your partner is part of a biker gang....and unfortunately, he loves trouble. At least you love him, and at least you can patch him back up.
warnings: Mentions of violence, blood, and slight gang-related activity. brief mentions of Self-doubt.
w/c: 2020
tags: @cromernet, @starillusion13
Masterlist
~~~~~~
This wasn’t the first time you had asked your partner to go and get you food at 2 in the morning, it certainly wasn’t going to be the last with the cravings setting in. You looked down at the swell in your stomach, much further along than comfortable, with the constant pressure on your bladder, the backache, your feet getting more swollen every day, the mood swings, the constant feeling of maybe this is a heart attack, everything feels like it’s going too slow and too fast at the same time, honestly the whole situation is overwhelming. Not to mention your partner's less-than-desired lifestyle, the danger, the fights, the injuries….sometimes it’s too much. Trying to convince him to get a van and not attach the car seat to his motorcycle, okay that was a joke he got you a brand new car with everything you could need the next day.
Yes the world sees Seonghwa as a hardened criminal in one of the most notorious biker gangs in the country, but to you, that’s your partner, soft, doting, loving, caring, sweet. That’s your Hwa, even when you call him crying because you’re scared, when you called him apologizing for even getting pregnant in the first place, when you found out you were having a girl, and when you wake him up at 2am because you can’t sleep now that your daughter has decided she wants ice cream. He’s always there to take care of you.
“Hwa I’m sorry.” you mumbled into the phone. “I should’ve gone myself.”
“Nonsense it’s just around the corner, now do you want Chocolate? Strawberry? Peanut Butter?” he smiled looking at the ice cream selection. He loves you.
“Whatever is on sale.” you pick at your fingernails sitting on the couch.
“I know your favorite is Strawberry right now does that sound good?”
“...yes.” you blushed a little. “Hwa I’m-”
“Darling, please…it’s the least I can do. I’ll be home soon.” he smiled into the phone, he can’t wait for his daughter to be here, his little princess.
Always comforting. Always just what you need. Your Seonghwa, your home. Everytime he’s there it reminds you why this isn’t so scary anymore. He’ll always be there.
-------
“H-Hwa?” your voice trembled holding the phone up to your ear. It wasn’t possible you were careful, you were just feeling a little ill and Seonghwa wanted you to see the doctor.
“Darling? What’s wrong? Did everything at the doctors go ok?” he questioned worry lacing his voice.
“I-I’m so sorry!” the tears began streaming down your face. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been more careful I’m sorry!”
“Hey hey baby please, you’re scaring me, what could possibly be wrong? Are you ok?”
“I….I-I’m pregnant.” you whispered in the phone, sobs beginning to bubble up in your throat. “I understand if…” you want to leave…. He was in a biker gang, he couldn’t possibly want a baby….Just then he let out the most enthusiastic yell he’s ever felt come out of his mouth.
“We’re having a baby?!” you could hear the smile through the phone. “You and me? A baby?”
“Hwa?”
“Where are you? I’ll come get you! Stay right there I’ll….Appa is on his way!” he smiled and held the phone tighter.
When he got to you it was like your world froze, he ran up to you and spun you around.
“You’re happy?” you looked at him as he held your face.
“If you think for one second I had no intentions of keeping you forever you are mistaken. In fact I’d say just plain wrong. A baby….our baby.” he smiled and moved one of his hands to your hip and then just in front to your stomach.
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Here you were….sitting on the couch crying again over remembering how excited he was to learn of the pregnancy, a surprise for sure but now…a much welcomed surprise. Sure you had doubts and fears, would you be a good parent, would your daughter even like you….would Seonghwa still love you? He proves the last one every day, never complaining once about having to help or that you’re asking too much. You’ve seen him on the streets, he’s harsh, angry, mean…but that’s not the same Seonghwa that’s not the same dork who comes home and wraps his arms around you and hums into your ear, that’s your Seonghwa, that’s your home. Seonghwa sure is taking a long time to get home…Let me try his phone again.
--------------
“And just what is one of the Chili Peppers doing here?” a voice sounded behind Seonghwa as he hung up the phone holding two containers of Ice Cream.
“I should be asking what a member of the Wolfgang is doing here, since this is Pepper territory after all.” Seonghwa turned seeing their main rival. “Hello, Minho.”
“Seonghwa.” he nodded. “Ice Cream? At 2am?”
“Could be asking why you’re here as well.”
“Oh you know the wife and the cats….all very needy especially with a little one on the way.” he smiled before taking the bag from the cashier.
“Oh congratulations, I’ll have to send a gift.” Seonghwa smiled bagging his items up.
“Depends is it going to be like the birthday present you sent 4 years ago?” he held up the side of his shirt revealing a scar.
“Not with a little one on the way, I was thinking more like a breathable blanket, in case they put it over their head so they don’t hurt themselves.” he smiles thinking about what you told him.
“And the Ice Cream?” Minho raised an eyebrow.
“Craving. Sometimes I just get hungry.” he wasn’t about to reveal that he wasn’t single, let alone you were 7 months pregnant with his child.
“I am sorry I have to do this….just business.” Minho shrugged.
“Well hopefully the Ice Cream doesn’t melt before this is over then.” Seonghwa dropped the bag as they stepped into the nearby alleyway. Don’t worry, he’ll be home soon.
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“And why didn’t you answer your phone, I’ve been worried sick sinc-” you berated him walking through the front door, stopping upon seeing his condition. “Seonghwa!” you waddled over quickly seeing the blood on his face.
“Don’t move too fast.” you both said to each other as you pulled him to the bathroom and told him to sit on the counter.
“Darling I’m okay.” he held your hand as you held a worried expression on your face cleaning him up.
“You’re bleeding.” you stated.
“You should see the other guy.” he chuckled.
“Did you??”
“No it was Minho. He’s probably going to be feeling that for a while.” he winced when I applied alcohol to the wound on his forehead.
You sighed. “His wife is going to make sure he feels it for the rest of his life. They’re a perfect match honestly.”
“Oh you two have met?”
“Oh yes we see the same prenatal doctor, told me her husband was in a biker gang and is reckless, likes to fight this one a lot, always gets injured…I told her it was relatable.” I gave him a pointed look.
“Except I usually win.”
“I wouldn’t call this winning.”
“Reminds me of how we met.” he has a dreamy smile on his face.
“Oh you mean when you barged into the clinic I work at bleeding out onto the floor?”
“Ah you remember it too beautiful.” he takes my hand in his.
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“H-Help.” came from the unkempt looking man. He put his arms on the desk blood hitting the papers. “I-I think I was stabbed.”
“Y/n!” the front desk attendant called over and in rushed who he would describe as an angel, the most perfect person he’s ever seen….why does she look so worried for him….why are the corners of his vision going dark.
He faints.
When he wakes again his in an all too bright room in a lumpy bed with IVs and monitors hooked up to him.
“Morning sleeyhead.” came a voice from beside him “You’ve been out for three days due to blood loss…don’t worry you should make a fine recovery.” she looked at him. Wow. even more beautiful up close. “I have to change your bandages so try to sit still for me.”
“S-Sure.”
“Do you have a name or should we keep calling you John Doe?” she got out the gauze and everything needed to clean the wound.
“S-Seonghwa. My name is Seonghwa.”
“Well Seonghwa, due to your great observation skills you were in fact stabbed. Luckily it was a mindless blow nothing more than a big bleeding wound.” she looked up at him. “I’m your nurse, and the one who stitched you up, y/n.”
“y/n.” he liked the way it felt on his tongue, liked the way it sounded hitting his ears. He enjoyed your sarcasm and the slight smile you gave him, he enjoyed the scent of you perfume hitting his nose. “Thank you.”
“Kinda my job.” she smiled up at him.
-----------
“You changed you shampoo scent since we first met.” he looked at me cupping my cheek.
“A lot of things have changed since we first met, I think the biggest one is between us.”
“I love the snark you have.”
“Hopefully you’ll get a double dose here soon.” I finished cleaning small cuts and putting bruise cream on him. “Hopefully one of these days I’ll ask you to go get Ice Cream and you won’t get into a fight before coming back.”
“He did start it.”
“I know love.” I kissed his cheek.
I went to open the ice cream now that my partner was home and bandaged up.
“Well what do you know.” he chuckled holding me from behind. “I guess I did run a little late.”
“You think?” I looked at the soup of strawberry ice cream leaking out of the container into the bag.
“Here, you can still drink it…and I’ll hold you while you do.” he ushered us over to the couch with a straw and laid me down with him as he held the bump that was his daughter and I sat there drinking what was my Ice Cream.
Yeah this is my Seonghwa….My Home.
Bonus!
“And here comes the Strawberry for my angel Junghwa.” he smiled holding up the mashed strawberries on the spoon for the giggling child.
“Appa!” she smiled and threw her arms up at the fruit on the spoon blubbering and other noises coming out.
“Did you….did you just say Appa?” Seonghwa had tears gather in his eyes. “y/n!”
You ran into the room thinking there was an injury of some sort. How could there be the apartment was completely baby proof, she barely got a scratch running into anything and if she did Seonghwa was there to call for you and act like she was dying.
“She said…she…she said,..”
“Appa!” the girl chimed in again laughing at his shocked expression. “Appa-pa-pa-pa.”
“Oh sure I carry her for 8 and a half months, and you feed her strawberries and she says dad first.” I chuckled and held him as he cried tears of joy being his sweet princess’s first word.
“I love you so much princess.” Seonghwa picked up the smiling girl and kissed her face as tears fell down it. “Take that Minho….my daughter is smarter than your son, already talking. And you look just like your eomma, beautiful and smart, the whole package.” he gleams.
“Ok finish feeding her Appa, then its nap time.”
“Appa.” she says again making him smile over and over hearing his daughter talk to him.
After she ate and was put down to nap we finally got our alone time, no rushing out to go to work or do any dangerous activities like get Ice Cream. I finally got to sit there in the presence of my now fiancee.
“I love you y/n. Thank you so much for Junghwa.” he kissed my temple.
“I love you too Hwa.” I smiled and he snaked his hand around my front, holding me so preciously.
“Let’s have another.” he smiles.
#cromernet#ateez#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader#seonghwa x you#ateez seonghwa#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa imagines#park seonghwa#networks
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Hi, me again, the one with the future donnie and leo ideas with more cause why not
Just wanted to jot down some UC (unnamed child/character) and Casey Jr cousin behavior as they’re raised by different “dads” (Leo being Casey’s and Donnie being UC’s)
(Again, do whatever you want with this info)
The two deciding to put on a performance so their dads will let them have a sleep over despite literally living with each other (they leaned from April cousins used to dance in order to get what they want)
UC bringing back trinkets they get from going on scavenger hunts with Donnie and Casey keeping them all in a box
Casey bringing back any books he’s able to find while going on patrols with Leo for UC (sometimes they’re a little you know ripped and muddy but psh book is book)
Apocalypse training! The cousins are a deadly duo and the twins couldn’t be more proud, almost seeing themselves in their kids (#theygrowupsofast #soonthey’llbekillingsomemonsters #couldntbemoreproudofthekids)
Elaborating more on that, they sometimes can’t train in the same room, especially when they were younger and couldn’t grasp the severity in training so they’d goof when the adults weren’t looking (some angst possibilities here). Either that or they did manage to grasp their situation fairly quickly and adapted their mindsets to learn the techniques they were being taught faster (#childhoodGONE)
Almost never go on patrols separately. You will have to PULL them apart if you want to take one and leave the other (only exception if it’s with one of their family members but if they’re assigned to different groups the two HAVE to go together)
Tried making a blood pact once (“its a blood pact, we go down together”) *cue the twins scooping up their respective kid before they can actually go through with it*
I imagine UC asking Donnie for help to make a music box for Casey Jr after he lost his mom (April helped)
Them actually getting better at dancing and sometimes they’ll be dancing around their rooms despite there not being any music because they’re cool like that
Sneaking into Donnie’s lab in order to see what kinds of shenanigans he’s doing in there
Getting caught sneaking into Donnie’s lab in order to see what kinds of shenanigans he’s doing in there (#worthit)
UC imagining making the weirdest shit only to actually put those thoughts into action and drags Casey Jr along too
UC, holding a blueprint: So, I have an idea for a new weapon. It's a combination of a laser gun and a grenade launcher.
Casey Jr: That sounds dangerous.
Cousin: Exactly! It's perfect for taking out a whole group of Kraang soldiers at once!
Casey Jr: *raises an eyebrow* And what if we accidentally blow ourselves up?
Cousin: *holding up a wrench like it’s a sword* Then we'll go out in a blaze of glory!
Casey Jr: I prefer to not go out at all, thank you very much…
The two doing their best to sneak up on Leo despite him catching them everytime (literally. He’d probably turn around last second and grab them scaring them instead of the other way around like the two planned)
Ganging up on people. Like what do you mean UC is not getting taller? You’re wrong! Yeah tell em Casey Jr! (No one is safe)
UC rambling about more in depth science stuff and Casey Jr just 🧍👍 (I have a feeling that he is good at science because..Donnie, but since UC is mechanically inclined and was raised directly by Donatello they’re just WOOO you know?)
April and Mikey setting up little forts for them and the four just hang around giggling and rolling around like four puppies
Casey Jr doing his best for his cousin after Donnie died, leaving behind all his work to be carried on by his kid, and reminds them that they can share the burden of being the backbone of the resistance
Getting into petty fights with each other over something small like, who gets the last piece scrap metal idk
Thinking about angst scenarios where one of them is too far to reach the other (who is in danger) and they get hurt badly and then having to quickly get them back home and explain what happened
Another angsty scenario eating away at me is one of them is forced to take a different route than expected when patrolling and they lose contact with the base. The panic and chaos that would happen…
Wowwwwww!!! I’m in shock, future anon you sent me hcs 😍🤭
Honestly though UC sounds so cool/cute scenarios where Casey Jr. has someone around his age and Donnie basically has his own kid 😘🤌 just mwah, love it!!! I just had to post this even though I don’t have much to add just tot this was super duper cute ❤️❤️❤️
#anon message#rottmnt headcanons#future!donnie#rise future leo#rise casey jones#rise casey jr#tmnt fandom#rottmnt#tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#teenage mutant ninja turtles#grace answers#grace talks#future rottmnt#tmnt headcanons#rise tmnt headcanons#tmnt hc#rottmnt hc#leonardo#donatello
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Hehe hello :3
💍, 🫧, and 🪼 for the ask game, if these weren't answered yet?
- @puppeteeredheart
IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE! TURN IT UP!
(also 🪼 was answered here)
💍
in my head we are married. so married. we don't wear matching rings though. he keeps a picture of me in (what I choose to believe is) his locket. will attach picture below ↓. I'm a big necklace and locket person and me personally I would keep a lock of his hair in it. not a lot, just a small enough piece to keep inside a trinket I'll wear!
some people think it's a clock? I like that idea also but I love the idea of a locket more.
🫧
OKAY SO I HAVE A LONG LIST AND WILL OFFER MANY AN EXPLANATION FOR EACH (some of these only make sense in my head but that's okay) ((also, warning for mentions of kiyos backstory, which include referenced csa))
cherry waves by deftones - I said I'd offer an explanation for each of these but I honestly only feel this way bc of vibes
old friend by mitski - something about the lyric "I haven't told anyone, have you?" reminds me way too much of his backstory and it devastates me daily
please just stay dead by nicole dollanganger - a backstory thing again. "this time please just stay dead/and I guess I can't blame you, but I hate you all the same"
13 angels standing guard round the side of your bed by silver mt. zion - haunting. I don't have a better explanation
hard times by ethel cain - backstory, again. I actually made an art piece inspired by this for his birthday last year! it's on my main!
helena by my chemical romance (specifically the nicole dollanganger cover) - vibes. hes very,,, "death coded" character. so the imagery of hearses and death fits him.
gommene gommene by kikuo - self explanatory. fun fact, right after I finished trial three for the first time, I hit shuffle on my Spotify to have a good cry and this song came on. I haven't recovered from that.
alligator blood by nicole dollanganger - vibes. also, "grow up weak or grow up tough"
family tree by ethel cain - I have an illustration cookin up in my brain I wanna draw for this...
first love/late spring by mitski - I had a dream like three years ago about him and this song was playing in the background.
sweet dreams are made of this by marilyn manson - vibes. and like, disturbingish dark alternative music reminds me of him
iowa by slipknot - same as before
pet by a perfect circle - ↑ (also this song just fucks so hard)
bernadette by iamx - do you see the vision. do you see it. do you see the vision please—
insomnia by iamx - the lyric "oh my god, you're beautiful" did something to me when 10 year old me heard it for the first time then eventually I found Kiyo and thought "no so actually this is so him"
motion sickness by phoebe bridgers - I found this song in 2021 when someone made a post "no but this is his song" on TikTok and I agree whole heatedly everytime I go to cry to it I end up crying harder bc it's actually just so him it hurts </3 "I hate you for what you did, but I miss you like a little kid"
who is she? by I monster - back story. it's such a hauntingly beautiful song too. it fits him perfectly. "a misty memory, a haunting face. is she a lost embrace? I call her name, across an endless plane. shell answer me, wherever she may be."
heroin by badflower - same reason as last one. hauntingly beautiful. it's a beautiful song and it needs more recognition. "now she's in me, and I can't let her go" (I mean her spirit is literally inside this man like, hello)
I can't decide by scissor sisters - y'all remember when this was big in the fnaf fandom? yea same reason.
after dark by mr kitty - my ex like, fourish years ago told me this reminded her of Kiyo and I haven't let that go
I love you by HIM - vibes. fucks so hard, fantastic song
heaven tonight by HIM - same reason ↑
televangelism by ethel cain - made kiyo art inspired by this. I'll link it here, it's probably my favorite Kiyo art ever (ignore the hard times quote)
august underground by ethel cain - deep foreboding tragic instrumental. also made art for this.
hate me! by leæther strip (specifically the funker vogt remix) - vibes again. the beat, mostly.
the mind electric by miracle musical - reminds me of his trial
evelyn evelyn by evelyn evelyn - self explanatory
rule #4 by fish in a birdcage - I can't explain this one it just does
we will commit wolf murder by of montreal - same thing. just reminds me of him. no reason.
you are the moon by the hush sound - just a sweet and lovely song that makes me think of him. "you will see your beauty in every moment that you rise"
life fades to a funeral by carnifex - dark instrumental, also the title
summit song by nicole dollanganger - ↑ another instrumental
memoir #2 [06.12.09] by maria pseftoga - sad creepy instrumental
all of these songs are very good and I recommend all of them. also there's tons more but I have Kiyo art I wanna make and don't wanna spend all my time on this teehee
#🥀📜#i doubt anyone reads this entire thing#these r good songs tho go listen to em#self shipping#self ship#self shipper#selfship#selfshipper#selfshipping#f/o#f/o community#fictoromantic#romantic f/o#selfship community#fictoromantism#fictional other#fictosexual#yumeship
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Part of The Marauders
Being James Potter's friend was an honor, Remus thought. James was not only the most fun person to be around, he made Remus feel special. James had created the concept of being a Marauder to be the most cool experience in life. They had codes. They had rules. They had rituals. They had pranks. They had nicknames. And most importantly they had each other. The Marauders weren't nothing more than four idiots playing to be cool. But James made them believe they were nothing but special. And that gave them confidence to actually be one of the coolest groups at school.
But not only that. James Potter made his friends feel safe. He made sure each one of them was okay. He made sure to make them feel protected and loved. It was like having a father. The Marauders felt like a family. Sirius was so lucky to have this little family, since his real blood one sucked. And Remus perhaps did as well. Remus had never felt so lucky in his life.
The thing was that everytime James was around, Remus wanted to impress him. It was so embarrassing. But Remus had never wanted to like someone this much. Remus had been perfectly fine being invisible. But James Potter had a force in him that made Remus think: "Hey! I am here. Notice me". Remus knew he was not nearly as important to James. Sirius was his jewel. His favorite. And Peter was his baby to protect. Sometimes Remus liked to pretend he was special for James too. Be he knew that was impossible. He was just an intruder in the Marauders' perfect world. They just put up with it because Sirius said so.
When James walked slowly towards Remus' bed that night, Remus froze because that never happened. They were all alone. Sirius was taking one of his long nocturne showers. And Peter was delayed with homework so he was finishing it in the Library.
James took a seat on Remus' bed and Remus put down his book. It felt like when his father used to do that when he wanted to talk about something serious. But this time it was funnier, because James pouted and sighed.
"Hey..."
"Hey" Remus smiled.
James laid down on Remus' bed, hands behind his head.
"Can I help you with something, James?"
"Can't I just lay on your bed, Moony?"
Remus raised an eyebrow. Sirius was the only one that called him Moony. It was their thing since they were kids. It was weird to hear James say it. He noticed it too because he added:
"Sorry! I don't know why I called you that, I guess I hear Sirius being 'Moony Moony' all the time that it just stuck" he giggled afterwards.
Remus blushed. He liked that Sirius called him Moony. It differentiated him from any girl he had ever been with. As if Remus was Sirius' property. It sounded like when couples called each other 'Love or babe'. Remus liked to believe Sirius felt the same way he did. Beyond the occasional snogging.
"It's okay" Remus said "You can call me Moony if you like"
"Nah..." James shrugged "It's a Sirius thing"
"Sirius thing" Remus teased.
"Plus he would hate that" James added "You're his Moony, no one else's"
Remus wondered if he knew about him and Sirius. Sirius wasn't ready to tell anyone yet. Especially James. He apreciated his opinion more than anyone else's.
"Buuut... All of us Marauders have nicknames..." James added "You ought to have one too. It is boring calling Remus all the time"
Remus was so happy when James included him within the Marauders. But Remus always reminded himself he just did that to be polite. Because Remus was Sirius' friend.
"How about Rem? Or Remmy?"
"I think I prefer Moony" Remus chuckled.
James smiled "I'll check on Sirius to see if we can use it"
"Okay..." Remus couldn't hide his excitement.
James was silent after that. Which was odd in him.
"You want to talk about Lily, don't you?"
"Can I?" James sat up excitedly.
Remus smiled amused.
Lily was the only thing that Remus and James had in common. Well, Sirius was their common too. But it was easier talking about Lily. Remus was Lily's friend and that had helped James to know more about her through Remus. He was their mediator. James didn't mind Remus being friends with Lily, it was actually useful for him. But Remus noticed that he did mind how close Remus and Sirius were. He was kind of jealous even. Sirius was James' and no one could take him away. So they avoided talking about Sirius because it was awkward.
Remus tried not to laugh as he nodded.
"It's just Sirius doesn't particularly like Lily" James said.
"He likes her. He is just jealous"
James shrugged.
"And Peter gets annoyed about the subject" James added "You're the only one that gets me because you like Lily too"
"Yes I like her" Remus nodded "She is the first girl I feel close to"
James sighed.
"I cannot stop thinking about her" he laid down in bed again "It is driving me crazy. Because all I want to do is snog her face out, hug her, touch her. But I am stuck in the friend zone"
"The friend zone sucks" Remus commented under his breath.
James raised an eyebrow at him.
"So I've heard" Remus added embarrassed.
James sighed again "And I would fuck it up, you know? By asking her out... She doesn't want that. We've been getting so close lately, everything is perfect, we haven't even bickered in a long time..."
Remus smiled
"I don't want to lose her, Remus" James added "I prefer a hundred of times to be her friend and have her forever than being something more and lose her. Do you know what I mean?"
"Yeah"
Sounded similar to what Remus felt for Sirius. But at least Lily was clear with her feelings and what she wanted. Sirius was so confusing. Sometimes it felt that he really wanted Remus and others that he only liked him as a mate.
"Lily is... different" Remus explained "It is not that she doesn't like you, she just wants the perfect kind of love"
James' mouth twisted.
"Do you think I could make her happy?"
"Of course you can"
"Really?"
"Yes!"
Remus now sounded like a true Marauder. Praising James like he was a God. Sirius and Peter were constantly doing that. Remus sighed. Perhaps James wasn't perfect. He had flaws.
"Just stop thinking about yourself and what you want...."
James looked at him.
"Maybe?" Remus added, nervously
"What do you mean?"
Friends told each other the truth, right? James would consider Remus his friend if he told the truth, right? Remus didn't need to put James in a pedestal in order for him to like him.
"Being Lily's friend is amazing. And I know you want more. You want to jump off to be with Lily physically and emotionally. But that's not what she wants...." Remus said "She wants another kind of relationship. A long term one, with lots of building up in between, with a real connection... Don't think about the negatives of being Lily's friend. Think that you're building something with her. If she sees that, I am sure she would fall for you..."
James was looking at the ceiling, thinking about Remus' words.
"And you're so close, James. Really... Lily likes you a lot. She speaks a lot about when you are not around"
James smirked "Really?"
Remus nodded "Lily just needs a bit more time to fall for you. But she is getting there"
"Having Lily this close is worth it" James said "At least she doesn't hate me anymore"
Remus smiled.
"Yeah..." he said "I could infiltrate within the girls and find out more about Lily's opinion about you. If she is ready to be more..."
"That would be lovely, Remus" James grinned "Thank you. You're a true mate"
Remus blushed with the compliment. He felt his heart warm up.
Then James sat up and cleared his throat.
"And about the thing you said the other day..." he rubbed his neck embarrassed.
"What thing?" Remus asked "I say a lot of things all the time"
James smiled "You barely speak"
Remus snorted "What thing?"
"Remember when you got out in a date with Emmeline? And then we asked you how did it go?"
"Yeah..."
James swallowed.
"And then you said that it was okay but you didn't fancy her because.... you know..."
Were James' ears getting red?
"Kicked a conversion for the other team"
Remus laughed.
"In English please? I don't understand rugby"
"You know... You fancy boys and and all" James said quickly and looked down embarrassed.
"You mean the fact that I am gay?" Remus asked amused.
"Yeah right..." James nodded "The very same thing..."
Remus chuckled. James wasn't particularly homophobic. It was just that Remus was sure he knew little about the subject. Even if he joked about Sirius being his lover all the time.
"You know it is okay, right?"
Remus smiled.
"We don't care that you are gay, Rem" James added
"Rem..." Remus frowned.
"I know we talk a lot about girls. But you are allowed to talk about boys as well if you want"
Remus was overwhelmed. It had been an awkward reaction from the lads when Remus came out. The girls were very happy about it. But the boys were awkward. They said it was okay and moved on with their lives. But Remus appreciated these words now. Remus never expected them or demanded them but it felt nice.
"Cheers James"
"Uuuh!" James gasped and Remus jumped "Do you fancy a boy at Hogwarts? We can help you with him just like we are helping Peter with Mary"
James was smirking so genuinely that Remus knew he had no clue about his thing with Sirius. And Remus felt sorry for him. He wanted to tell him, he really did. But James was Sirius' best friend. It was Sirius' secret to tell.
So Remus just shook his head.
"Come on... You have to fancy someone..." James raised an eyebrow "Is it me? And you don't want to tell me?"
Remus laughed.
"Yes James, I am utterly in love with you" Remus joked.
"Damn, I knew it" James joked too "I am too irresistible" he winked.
"Yeah" Remus nodded.
"Honestly Moony," he said it again, Moony. Remus was so happy "If it wasn't for the love I have for Lily, I would totally give you a chance"
Remus smiled "We both know that if you were to give a chance to someone that isn't Lily, that would be Sirius"
James chuckled.
"So true!" he said "But you are my second choice. Don't tell Peter about it"
"I feel honored"
James smiled and rubbed Remus' hair affectionately.
"Don't touch my hair!" Remus protested.
"Come here, Moony!" James tried to rub it again.
Remus laughed trying to cover himself.
"Not with your sweaty hands!"
"Sweaty hands??"
They both were laughing now. Remus was genuinely happy. James liked him. He truly did. Was it possible?
"Ehem..."
Sirius had opened the bathroom door and was looking at James and Remus with eyes of jealousy and confusion.
And God, he was only using a towel, looking so delicious with water dripping from his hair through his chest and down... Remus almost drooled.
"Am I interrupting something?"
James and Remus smiled at each other.
"It is just a Remus and I thing" James shrugged.
"Oh I see..." Sirius frowned and walked towards his bed.
"Are you jealous?" James teased.
Sirius snorted "Hardly"
He sounded so jealous, it was adorable.
"I didn't know you two were so close, that's all" Sirius shrugged.
"I am considering calling Remus Moony from now on"
"Don't you dare! That's my nickname for him!" Sirius snapped furiously "Moony is mine!"
Remus' heart started beating up fast. Then Sirius blushed profoundly.
"The nickname I mean!" he corrected.
But James was off Remus' bed and all over Sirius, trying to tickle him.
"You're such a jealous bastard, my love" James teased "Don't worry Pads, I only have eyes for this gorgeous body if yours!"
James gave Sirius a quick kiss on the cheek and then pulled his towel away, revealing Sirius' naked body. Sirius went purple. Unfortunately, he covered himself quickly before Remus could enjoy the view.
"I swear to God, James Potter! I am going to kill you!!"
James was laughing his ass off, rolling over his bed. Remus laughed as well. Sirius put on his boxers quickly, he grabbed his pillow. Climbed on top of James and started hitting him with it.
"You fucking wanker!"
"Oh kiss me, Sirius!" James said, with a girly voice "Kiss me!!"
"You're an asshole, Potter!!" Sirius exclaimed, hitting James once more.
Remus couldn't stop laughing. He was part of this. He was part of this amazing mess. The Marauders were the coolest people alive and Remus was lucky to even know them, better yet be considered their friend. Did he actually deserve this?
"What the hell is going on here?" Peter asked, tiredly as he crossed the door.
His eyes on Sirius and James. Sirius was on top of James in his underwear and it did look like a compromising situation. Which was even funnier.
"You know, Peter" Remus explained with a smile "James and Sirius being gay for each other"
"You just interrupted our snogging session" James said, making kissing noises.
Sirius covered James' face with the pillow and rolled his eyes. His cheeks were still adorably pink.
"Normal night at The Marauders dorm then" Peter said as he closed the door and walked to his bed.
Remus and Sirius crossed eyes for a second and they smiled at each other in secrecy. Remus was looking forward to be alone with him, kiss that beautiful mouth of his, and tell him he was so happy. So happy to actually be part of The Marauders.
#marauders#maraudersera#muggleau#marauders muggle au#remus lupin#james potter#sirius black#wolfstar#peter pettigrew#jily
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CYBERPUNK EDGERUNNERS
My favorite scene
-
So I decided to enter the contest on twitter, cdpr wanted ppl to say their favorite scene and I wanted to pick a scene that not many ppl picked BUT what was also significant to me.
[ my favorite scene b/c it showed the severity of David's situation, "another tale" how many dreamers have thought they were "special" but inevitably die in this line of work? It reminded that no one is "special" in NC. The city that eats ppl alive. Eats dreamers ]
Now when I first watched the anime, this scene had popped out to me in the first place, b/c David was clearly not being himself. Doc was familiar with him so they were cool butttt he was never always "nice"to little boy David. Still it was clear Doc has formed an attachment to David. In a way he was kinda saving David's life when he was trying to "stop" him multiple times. Not saying he was the best influence but he did care for him.
Ok so fast forward David is using the Sandy more times then he ever should've, Doc constantly warns him, multiple ppl warn David he shouldn't push himself but at this point. That's all David was shown. Even in the beginning stages of his edge running journey he sat around waiting for something to do. He couldn't sit still possibly cause if he did, he'd have bad thoughts traumatic ones. And so he was always looking for work and always trying to upgrade that became more prevalent when Maine dies. Either b/c he wanted Maine's arms and/or "replace" Maine become something that Maine couldn't since he went "psycho". And adding on to the fact he wanted to "TAKE LUCY TO THE MOON" lol but everyone knows that part.
. High risk high reward. David stopped being the respectful kid he was known to be; David grabs the Doc and realizes he didn't mean to but what's done is done. Also made me think maybe that's why the doc never got "too close" to David b/c how many young bloods has that man seen. "Go be a living legend u punks say"(something like that) he couldn't stomach seeing another kid dead chasing after this sick dream that NC has fed ppl. (First time I watched edgerunners this scene immediately reminded me of V as well)
Honestly that's why I pick going with the aldecaldos everytime. But whatever. How much of your life are you going to give till you know you've finally "made it". David kept pushing to either chance other ppls dreams and cause what else could he be if not an edgerunner, V kept doing the same not realizing they had something better or not letting go of an old dream. OR not ever seeing their own potential b/c NC won't let u. Even Kerry says some shit like that. Johnny also fell for this trap and so did Jackie. SOO MANY
-
NC is a cancer I've said this time and time before. I actually did a yt vid on it. Anyways I went on a tangent some shit I forgot what the hell my point was but I believe I collected myself, anyways.
Good thing twitter only has 280characters wth
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I let love in, I let love in
You’re thirty one years old, just got out of a five month relationship, you’re convinced it was the best relationship you’ve had in your entire life. You base this off the sure fact that you haven’t once shown any of your insecurities, that you believe do not exist anymore, because hey, you spent the last six years ‘working on yourself, hindsight, you didn’t work on yourself.
You instead, spent the last six years, single, sending nude photographs almost to anyone you found attractive, getting black out drunk only once in a year, so that was pretty good considering you would do it almost monthly previously, there it is ‘growth’.
You decided to be more frivolous with posting nude photos of yourself to your social media, such as instagram, as a front that your weight gain was valid, ‘my body is beautiful, it is made this way, it’s called genetics hun, maybe my body is like this because of that? Can’t help it’, Crosses the street to the dairy for my dose of blood spiking levels of sugar with a Red Bull and a Cookie Time ‘it’s cool babes, I eat this, because I want it, I am not going to feel guilt after eating this, because I don’t associate the word guilt with food’.
Two years later, blood tests came in, along with a phone call from the nurse “you better come in, it’s pre-diabetes, you gotta stop with the red bulls love”. The denial was massive, so massive, you send a complaint to the Health & Disability Commissioner that your doctor did a secret hbA1c test with your other blood test, because everytime she has seen you, she points at you and turns her face upside and groans “you’ve put on weight, haven’t you?”
You caught me doctor! The blood tests don’t lie! Weight gain has caused the pre-diabetes!
You read right, six years of being single. It’s good to be on your own, to sit with your own thoughts, and company. If you can’t do that, there is something wrong with you. That’s not true at all, most people do find this difficult, and that’s fair, society is always teaching us that being alone is not fun, especially Coca Cola adverts, never see anyone just lying in their bed with their laptop pulled up to their chin, cracking open a cold Coke Zero and sipping on it making sure it doesn’t spill out the side of your mouth, down your cheek and to the back of your neck, never, it’s always laughing, jumping around, on the beach, yahoo, even chuck in an inflatable ball, the beach and a coke with my friends!
Being single was a choice, but it got the point of, you’re single because you’re actively avoiding emotions. Feelings are too much, because you always acted out when those feelings became heightened, there was no mindfulness, no wise mind in place, just full reactionary blow outs. You increasingly become more aware of this avoidance, that you begin to let yourself become a little vulnerable. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds song ‘I Let Love In’ chimes in, reminding you that you may indeed allow love back into your life. You get a tattoo of Robbie Williams with the words “I just wanna feel” on your leg, to remind yourself, it is going to be okay, if I allow myself to endure this. You are in control!
How embarrassing to find that you allow these feelings to enter your life again, and when a moment is taken out of your control, and you are not being provided with the answers you want to hear, you lose it? You absolutely lose it. You’re back to square one, back to the six years previously, of being reactionary, obsessed, jealous, insecure! All that growth, gone!
Was it growth though? Or were you just avoiding any chance of these insecurities coming out again to show its awful face, to show who you really are. You didn’t actively deal with those insecurities, you covered them up, by taking your clothes off, posing in front of the camera, showing the world you were fat and proud, shovelling copious amounts of food down your throat that you disguised as ‘intuitive eating’, being single was badass, because you know what they say “a woman don’t need no man, she independent” fuck you Beyonce.
The more you type this down, you begin having revelations, oh, that’s possibly a panic attack coming.
It wasn’t a panic attack, your panic attacks don’t work like that, yours just pop up when you’re doing nothing, not looking in the mirror, truly looking at yourself, who even are you anymore? You convince yourself you’re crazy now, your ex doesn’t want you back again, because of all this crazy! Not because they are dealing with something incredibly stressful that may have been caused by their own actions. Ah, get back on track, don’t resort to it Sarah, get back to the realising things about yourself.
I look at the drawing on my wall, of a grim reaper, wearing a cloak covered in red hearts, and above is written ‘I LET LOVE IN’, was it my mistake that I read this and assumed “I let someone else come into my life with love” or should I have read it as, I let love in, for myself, from myself.
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Just one of my shitty poems.
The smell of blood radiates from my clothes, my skin.
Yet you still do not notice.
Or is it that you don't want to notice?
You don't want to see, don't want to care.
You don't want to acknowledge just how bad it is.
Because if you did,
You'd have to take responsibility for your part in this.
And you never were very good with that.
There always was a reason why nothing was ever your fault.
Always a reason why you did these things, which pushed the fault onto whoever you decided to inflict your wrath on.
I was always too loud and boisterous.
Always too energetic and excitable,
Too happy, too needy.
Always too much.
But not enough at the same time.
I was never enough.
Now I'm quiet and stay in my room.
I'm silent and sullen, an air of apathy clouding my brain.
I can't remember the last time I smiled. And I don't need you anymore. I don't need anyone. I can destroy myself all on my own. After all, I learned from the best.
You still find faults in me.
Now I'm too quiet for your liking.
Not social enough, not happy enough.
Where's your happy little girl?
You killed her.
You pressed the knife into her throat every night while she was sleeping,
Pulled it clean across and watched her bleed out as she choked on her blood and tears, pleading with her eyes.
You killed her everytime you refused to help.
Every turned head,
Every refused hug.
Every time you left her alone in the dark, her tears smiling her sheets.
Every time you told her to ignore the abuse she endured
'Be my big brave girl for me and ignore it, won't you?'
She trusted you and you lead her to her grave.
Yet now you have the audacity to mourn for the child you never loved.
You look upon what became of her with your lip curled in disgust.
And when all is revealed, you throw your tantrums like you've always done.
You think I'm a bad mother! You scream. That's why you do this to yourself!
And I so badly want to agree.
I want to tell you just how much you've hurt me.
But I can't.
I see the tears on your cheeks and they remind me of mine.
Years of crying alone under beds, duvets wrapped around my head and pillows stuffed in my mouth.
I eventually stopped making any noise when I cried.
But it seems you haven't gotten to that point yet.
And for a moment, it's like I'm the mother, the way it's always been.
I wrap my arms around you and hold you,
I scream that it's not your fault until my voice begins to shake, even though deep down I know otherwise.
And as I hold you and tell you all the nice things I can think of,
I try not to think about all the times it was me who was sobbing.
About all the times you left me to sob.
And when you've calmed down, and all your tears are dried, I truly believe its going to get better.
Maybe this time you'll understand.
But then the insults start almost as quickly as they stopped.
The yelling and the fights.
You say such mean things sometimes.
Until you don't. And then you're crying again.
And I realise you're never going to change.
Not for me, anyways.
#tw sh implied#self mutalition#selfharn#self h@rm#mentally fucked#trauma#man i wish my mom loved me#sh thoughts#actually traumatized
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You walked in and saw me. Saw the wounds still in the healing process from the hands of the one before you and knew the hunt would be too easy.
You saw yourself as competiton and I the prize. You didn’t want me, you just wanted to win. Like a toddler screaming in the aisle for a toy only for it to be on the closet floor for the next 7 years. Promises across the crowded bar of a future so beautiful and bright how could I reject when the alternative, unbeknownst to me would be one of healing and happiness.
Inundated by the images of happily ever after I walked into the trap set before me. A lamb to the slaughter. So caught up in believing this was it, I could not hear the crowd hollering at me to turn back. The blood that was poured out of my soul I made excuses for. Surely it will stop. Surely I was worth being loved enough to be healed and cared for. Surely I would wake one day to the cry of an infant that looked like me, with you by my side. The worries of the what if's would dissappear, right?
The 20 dollars from the pile you said I didn't mind you taking while I slept. The walk you took to try and convince me to not enjoy a night out. The banging on the door to so said wish me a safe trip. Your utter need for control in what I wore, what I said, what and how I ate, how I walked, who I spoke to, how I lived. Starting as a kiss quickly turning into suffocation. Done so well that I didn't realize I needed air until it was almost too late. Using those pictures to make me believe I was losing something wonderful because you saw a glimmer of independence still left in my spirit. Pathetic. The name you whispered. Not my name. Not my name everytime you said it. But I am the crazy one for being so damn insecure when you, the creator of this nightmare instilled it into me.
She will always be first. The one whose ripples wash over everyone in the way. The one who refuses to take her proper place in line of succession. I am berated for defending myself and speaking up. She raised her fist to me but you believe I asked for it. She throws my life in upheaval but I am not generous enough. I didn't try hard enough. You yourself saying she owes me nothing. She is much of the cause of why my arms are barren, but you only see me as the one at fault. While she is incapable of taking any blame, it is a result of what you taught her.
I could have whatever I wanted if I just worked harder. Alone, quiet and without complaint. My voice is rejected in your court. Quickly learning that to ask for help is a burden and life so much easier when I struggle alone. At least there is a moment of peace. False peace, but peace none the less.
I hear your words echoed in my heart. I recite them to myself daily as if a sonnet. So lowly and nothing. No one could ever love me so I stay.
I waited. I held on. My hand holding so tightly to the blade. Veins severed. My screams falling on deaf ears while you're so focused on everyone else. I found myself making a home on flames barely enough to keep itself warm. Believing I just had to wait a little longer. You would take me and turn the heat up to boiling just long enough to have me back in your clutches believing momentarily that I was worth it. Coming in like a hero and rescuing me, only to return me to my rightful place, the remaining flame a little less than before.
Everyone still under your spell of greatness. My treatment is like that of waste. I do my best not to complain. You remind me I am selfish, immature and ungrateful. That forced smile in public you give me, knowing I'll have to apologize profusely for whatever I said or did, or didn't say or didn't do. I must take your hurt and make penance.
My body, the one you would make your remarks about suffering the effects of what you put me under. Doctors telling me it's my job, it's my age, it's everything but the real cause of this damage. You.
The audience watches as this play continues. Keeping their comments to themselves. The reviews are in but I can't see them. Perhaps because I'm too scared of facing the fact that what they know is truth. Only to hear after the curtain falls that they knew who the antagonist was all along. They wanted to rescue me.
You never intended for me to have a legacy. Nothing to come after me, that looks like me, sounds like me or even thinks like me. You could not handle something so small challenging your heirarchy and taking my attention and adoration away from you. You push away from me as I attempt to stitch back together what was promised. Finally the courage to say you're done.
My life shattered to tattered rags.
Left to lick my wounds I find through each droplet of blood and tear stains, my strength is returning.
The heat blazes forth. I can lift my head and see the sunlight. Each return you attempt opens my eyes to your hardened truth and it makes me stronger on my own. My dreams return. My voice. My laughter. My passion. This was not part of your plan. I was to die, not live. I was to be the latest causality in your book of pain. But I can't hear you, I can't see you from where I stand.
The binding frayed to the fragility of my freedom. Zero holds on me. I owe you nothing, and myself everything. You don't even deserve a goodbye. This is it, you are powerless over me now and forevermore. I am free. I can breathe. I am worthy. I am me.
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ARHGEJDHF THAT ART???? YOUR ART IS SO GOOD ASJAAAA
"Yelling at each other to shrink. Threatening to collapse the other’s spine" the fact that i can relate to this... as an older sibling whose little brother is growing taller than her, this is something i do with him. you nailed the sibling vibes w that one
"he “wins” in making Mark embrace his more Viltramite half. Mark socks him in the throat instead." SHFASDGHFEJHDG THAT'S SO FUNNY, "mark socks him in the throat instead" I AM LAUGHING OUT LOUD
also wasp biting mark in retaliation for not letting him do what he wants... THAT IS ALSO A SIBLING THING
i cannot count the amount of times my siblings have bitten me or licked my arm/hand
once mark manages to get wasp to stop actually trying to kill him instead of just threatening to do it ("i'm going to kill you" is smth i tell my friends regularly. theyre rude af so even if i am trying to b nice theyll jst answer w "nobody loves u", which. ouch. but also i did made them grab 20 cards at UNO so its fair) ppl start to believe the whole twin thing better
fist appearances: only children are worried. ppl w siblings aren't
second meeting: everyone is half worried and half scared (wasp is attempting murder again, mark can't keep him contained that long)
"He forgets the cameras and just CHOMPS" ppl reacting to them being Like That has got to be my fav thing to write about this au
...i have a fic idea. i have many but i might actually write this one after i'm done w the one im writing rn
it'a basically a social media fic, everyone (and i mean EVERYONE) reacting to those two
twitter would go wild w them
dinosaur
ngl this is funnier after reading the comics
rip dinosaurus or wtv your name is you would've loved this au
rip mark u would've loved to see a dinosaur punching wasp
also the idea of them having little inside jokes. htey dontt even WANT to haev them but smth jus, happens and its so funny adn now everytime they're reminded of it they laugh
or sometimes just one of them laughs and the other is like "god i hate you"
bc whatever happened made them look like an idiot
JUST IMAGINE,,,, THE INSIDE JOKES......
"-that hideous sense of Doing Right Thing." its like i said.... being nice is his worst nightmare
when we said he would have to be dragged kicking and screaming into redemption We Were Not Kidding
he starts his redemption arc and immediatly gets hit by.... oh my god, feelings?!?!?!
mark "hey being nice isn't all that bad actually" grayson VS mark "everything i have ever known is violence. my happiest memories are full of blood. when i think of my childhood, i only see red, and the one thing i remember is how much i liked it. dad helped me turn into this, but in the end, i did it myself. if he saw me now, he would be disappointed. would he try to kill me, too, if he learned what i am? what i might become?" grayson VS mark "sometimes i do want to punch ppl ngl" grayson VS mark "the last thing my dad taught me was how to be ruthless, how to stop holding back. the first, was how to be kind. i remember playing baseball with him. i remember sparring, and then fighting. he has seen what i am, and he killed me for it. he's seen what i am to become, and he left so he wouldn't have to face the consequences of what he's done. if he found me again, now, would he react the same? will he beat oliver half to death, like how he did with me?" grayson, FIGHT!!!!!!
actually mark being half like "i am kinda jealous that the only father this kid has ever known has been nothing but kind to him" is an idea i love
why was it him?
the worst (or best? he's holding onto his humanity so tightly, after all, and isn't loving the most human thing of all?) part is that he can't help but be glad that oliver won't have to go through the same pain he did
"this is me at my weakest" THISSS, GODDAMNIT.... THIS!!!!!!! THEY FIND EACH OTHER AND CAN ONLY SEE THE WORST VERSION OF THEMSELVES, I REPEAT, THEY FIND EACH OTHER AND CAN ONLY SEE THE WORST VERSION OF THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!!
"? Bro is operating on hard mode," nah but fr
the reason the evil invincibles seem so fucking op compared to our mark is because they dont hold back
mark cherishes life. taking it away from someone, anyone, is wrong. it feels disgusting, it makes him feel dirty. the rest do not have that weakness
that's why they kick ass! that is also why they will always be alone
“how could you ever make me want to hate him?” Vs Mark “How could you do anything but?" OUGGGHHH FUCK. OHH THIS ONE HURT, DAMMIT
nolan getting wasp ice cream after his first kill tho. it's sweet but also so fucked up. anyway its nice to know he still loves his murderous son
nolan: i love my kind son also nolan: i love my asshole son
"they float against the ceiling like a balloon." i need a drawing of this. and a fic. i cant draw or write but ill do my best i just need to see this
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOUR ART,,,,,, I LOVE YOUR ART SO MUCHHHHH IA LREAY SAID THIS BUT ITS TRUE
@thebrainrotsreal HEY SORRY FOR TAGGING(? PINGING(? U, ITS ABOUT THE AU. I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE THE OTHER POST THAT LONG LMAO
FLYING BEING NATURAL TO VILTRUMITES MY BELOVED
ASJDAJSD MARK TRYING TO GET AWAY W SLIGHTLY HOVERING(? IN A WAY THAT IS BARELY NOTICEABLE TO ANYONE BUT HE CAN'T DO IT WHILE HE WALKS BC HE JUST, DEFAULTS TO ACTUAL FLYING
mark and wasp are the same height, and they hate it almost as much as they hate each other. even if wasp is older than mark (read somewhere he could be 20, not sure tho), he'd still look 17 bc of the weird viltrumite aging thing
so basically they'll stay the same size for about 500 years. this is what nolan meant when he said mark would suffer...
ANYWAY. That thing abt them wanting to be taller than the other made me laugh and reminded me of a shadowpeach hc i posted on 2022(? LMAO
gonna use the same hc w them too
so. they're out as invincible (they still haven't decided on a name yet. wasp says he's stronger and therefore should be called invincible, but mark points out that he's the one in charge and also that this dimension is his. mark gets to keep it. they're still arguing about what to name wasp) ("why don't you just go by "vincible"?" "no.")
mark is talking to some gda agent or a cop or smth, when he notices that wasp (who is looking at the sky w the most bored expression he can muster, bc he genuinely doesn't understand why they have to talk to such inferior beings) seems to be just, a few milimeters taller than him (he may be shit at schoolwork, but if you hate someone enough you can notice the smallest details about them)
he, w/o stopping the conversation, answers to this by floating just a little higher, barely noticeable to the human eye
ofc, i said "human" eye
wasp notices. he flies higher
mark flies higher too
eventually he's screaming instead of talking bc of how far down the cop is
wasp laughs. now mark is screaming at him
they fight
ALSO WASP REFUSING TO STOP FLOATING AS A CIVILLAIN IS SO FUNNY AJDSHFASJ, IMAGINE THE AMOUNT OF TROUBLE HE'LL GET MARK INTO
PLS. THEM TRYING TO GNAW THEIR ARMS OFF BC THEY HATE BEING NEAR EACH OTHER SM ASJFHADJFH
most normal ppl r used to mark working alone as invincible. so since wasp really doesn't do interviews and he's usually too fast to see when he fights, no one really knows what his name even is
and everyone is used to invincible being. well. invincible. sure, the news say that when he's around this guy he gets a little meaner, but it can't be that bad!
it is that bad
wasp says smth mean n sarcastic. everyone expects invincible to answer w something equally sarcastic, but not as mean (maybe making fun of how his suit looks). they do not expect invincible to just fucking bite him after 8 of those comments
wasp keeps trying to kill This One Kid, who is either super brave or super stupid and won't stop asking him questions (they go from "what's your name?" to "what underwear do you have? do you even need underwear?" in a matter of seconds) for his weird school diary thingy
he can't get close, bc mark starts pulling the other way. besides, they're stuck together, and killing people would seem awfully annoying if it's with this guy
they can't punch each other, so wasp bites him. they bite each other a lot bc of the "no punching (or kicking)" thing
"Wasp throws a car at Mark which Mark instinctively swats away and then goes flying after it to prevent it from slamming into a building. Wasp cackles so hard it gets hit by a laser beam to the throat by some other bad guy." ASJDSAJDHDSJFAH YES THAT'S SO FUNNY
they mess w each other sm
it's funny bc they do the same things to annoy each other (wasp throwing a car at mark, mark hitting him with a tree, etc) , but lose their shit when the other does it to them
they're basically this:
mark, sleep deprived, flies straight into a lamp post
wasp laughs at him. he actually laughs so hard he runs into the same lamp post
there are a lot of compilations on youtube that is just them laughing at each other mid fight and running into things or being hit w stuff the other throws at them
they grow more wild every time
it goes from throwing cars, to throwing real life dinosaurs (mark doesn't want to talk about it) (wasp absolutely does)
"Cecil remarks Mark handled something well and he looks like Cecil just told him his entire family got slaughtered."
THISSS
"you did well today. hella efficient, quick and straight to the point. who taught you that?"
mark: D:
and also,
"oh, wow. you saved an entire family and their cat from a villain that wanted to turn them into zombies while mark was off fighting the bad guys? that's great!"
and wasp. cries
"oh no, no, you think I'm gonna help you?" THIS TISHTISHTSIHIST
this really feels like smth he'd say in canon. he'd say it w a smile, half-shocked half just pretending out of amusement
he'd laugh too
it's the same type of cocky tone of voice sinister mark/wasp used when teasing angstrom
"I gotta imagine if they tackle things separately, they are also allowing each other to do they want and like to do?" YEAH!!
it's hard 'cause wasp always wants to take the bad guys on alone, but mark also likes to fight (just not w the same brutality) and he doesn't want to be just a lifeguard
it takes wasp a while (a LONG while) to stop tackling mark when he's about to attack to get to the enemy himself, or to kick mark into the next country, etc etc etc
but eventually they settle on mark getting everyone to safety while wasp stalls the bad guy. then, after he's sure no one's here anymore, they both fight the villain together
or uh. they try. sometimes they'll start fighting each other too so it's less of a 1 v 2 fight and more of a... 1v1 V another 1 fight lol
"Mark's own reaction that truly confirms it to be true"
he gets the episode 8 levels of anger and anguish
HE'S JUST SO MAD
wasp is talking shit on tv and he just loses it
he immediatly flies off and tackles wasp into fucking space
i mean, they do say that actions say more than words, right?
mark is usually making the typical superhero noises when he's fighting, but now? he's just focusing all of his anger into This One Motherfucker
wasp loves it
it's a "see? i knew you had it in you!" type of moment
he's been longing for a real fight for a WHILE
they don't kill each other but it comes close
see, the things is. they are the same person. it's easy to start viewing them as two separate beings, but they're really. not
they're evenly matched in everything
this is why wasp likes fighting mark
this is why mark doesn't like fighting wasp (never ending battles are boring to him) ( he likes to win more than to fight. i mean it's not like he enjoys getting beat up)
we could dive deeper and start talking about the self-destructive tendency these two have to getting beat up. i mean, wasp's idea of a real, actually enjoyable fight is when the other is either able to beat him, or when he can kill ppl. and mark spends sm time out as invincible, neglecting his social life and mental health to the point he quits college, and he gets beat up a lot while doing it. so yeah--
self-destructive tendencies
"-having to confront he sees the exact thing in Wasp to a slightly different degree" i will ALWAYS love making them deal with the constant reminders that they're the same person
they deal w stuff in similar ways but to different degrees and realizing that gives them psychic damage like that magic squirrel in mca so they just preted they don't exist
unless it's to like. bring the other to their side
"you like fighting too. violence is in you, it's part of you. you're always covered in blood. all that's left, would be your hands" VS "you're me, and i'm you. we have similar thoughts, and that means i- y'know. but it means you are, too. you have a chance. and get that blood off you-- you need a shower"
COMICS!! AND!! WASP!!
yeah
HIM HAVING TO CONFRONT THE FACT THAT THE DESTROYING OF HIS WORLD HURT HIM TOO
because it is, in a way, his world too
he grew up in it. raised differently, yes, but still on earth
he was always different from the rest, getting his powers at an early age and all, but it's still the place he grew up in
not all the memories from it can be bad, right?
ANDDDDD... wasp reminding ppl of how strong he is regularly
"i could pull out your spine in a second." he says that out of nowhere, in a conversation that would've seemed normal to literally anyone else. he says it like it's nothing much. "i could kill you." you know he could, but you still wonder
would he? with how he is, with his inability to escape --- would he?
also he has fun when he watches the color drain from their faces
"Rudy has psychological profiles on all his friends he regularly updates like a diary, and he has one for himself too." NO BUT THIS IS SO IN CHARACTER FOR HIM
wasp talks shit about mark to anyone avaliable and rudy is no exception. even tho he finds him deeply annoying
honestly wasp is capable of doing p much anything to mess with mark
HE JST WOULD
the self-hatred is strong with this one too master!!! (sw ref again lol)
ASDJASJDSJAD THE BETTING POOL
wasp saying mark breathes annoyingly is such a sibling thing tho. "why are you chewing like that" "stop biting your stupid fork" "the way you cut your food is so weird" "your handwriting sucks, don't hold the pencil like that" etc etc etc
ANDD "he knew what wasp was going to say" DUDE YES??
he's talking and he gets. a feeling. and he turns to wasp, who is opening his mouth, and says "don't you fucking dare"
same w wasp. mark is annoying little shit too sometimes, he's also a teenager. so he infuriates wasp too
mark calls him a hypocrite
THE TWIN TERRORS OF HEROISM I CAN'T
imagine if ppl actually start calling them that tho
one day wasp calls mark to their? his? room and is like, "holy shit look at this" and shows him their? his computer
mark doesn't understand, until he sees the title and image of the video
"the twin terrors of heroism, terrorizing the terrorists once again" and its a picture of them kicking ass
"twin terrors of-- oh, come on, really?" "yes" "they couldnt have at least called us the invincibles or something?" "that'd be even worse" "...alright, i'll give you that" "..." "...." "they think we're like the fucking mauler twins" "oh you have got to be--"
ALSO this is so funny, them being like "mark/wasp" when they show up hurt or smth. everyone just learning to accept it. i mean what are they going to do. fight against two gods??
ha
AND YES YES YES DO TAG ME IN IT!!!! if i make anything about this au (posts, fics, drawings, u name it) i will tag u too
alcohol doesn't really affect viltrumites i think, but there has got to be something that gets them drunk
nolan could've taught wasp how to make it. if the ingredients are on earth, then he would maybe try to prepare it on mark's earth. mark shows up and sees that he's drunk. he goes "nope" and gets drunk too, maybe on accident maybe not. debbie shows up and sees her two superpowered sons sobbing over a bowl of popcorn
alternate version: gasoline gets them drunk
#get redeemed loser au#invincible#mark grayson#avis' post (and reblog)#i still dont have a tag for that
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Soft dom harry makes subby reader upset subspace?
MEANIE ANGRY H :D BUCKLE UP FELLAS
Y/N's day is been shitty so far. It started with an ache in her lower abdomen from Harry’s morning stiffy bulging against her asscheeks fattening everytime he snuggled into her to hoard her warmth and blankies and to stuff his face in her neck with incoherent blabbering.
She wanted to wake him up with her hand, mouth, hole— anything around his cock and to please him and dull the burny feeling in her tummy -- but -- she had an important workshop at UNI that was must needed to be attended.
The time she managed to knock herself out of her needy and lusty headspace, she was getting late and whirling around the room and closest like a thunderstorm -- burying a snoring Harry under the heaps of clothes and littering the floor with her shoes collection, the kitchen got treated much more worst with maids being not around (she’s used to Harry waking up earlier than her and making her a full course brekkie) after making a laughable ruckus of cabinets all she stuffed her mouth with was a chocolate protein bar.
The stars were still not in her favour. She was grabbing onto her hair until far when she missed the bus (she usually don’t take buses, Harry makes sure the driver drop her off safe and secure) and it started raining leaving Y/N with nothing but a bare head to take all of it as she already left the bus shelter to stop a taxi.
If all of that wasn’t much of a tragedy and humiliating, Y/N slipped the moment she stepped out of the vehicle and on the slippery curbs of the building, she saw her life flashing right infront of her eyes as the papers tucked in her armpit fled everywhere and landed on the rainy mud sadistically along her. It gave her a serious hit in her ankle and completely yanked her hip, still being a stubborn-head she picked herself and went inside despite how many glares the cleaning staff threw her way for bringing the dirt with her feed all over the shiny floors.
She felt bad.
Stupidly bad.
Her workshop teachers were kind enough to accept her late arrival, but her designs for fall got rejected and they’d have been a huge milestone for her to get her dream internship.
Y/N felt awfully, teeny, pathetic and little while slumping into the corner of the bus and holding her breath to refrain from crying these little liquidy bitches out of her eyes.
Reaching back home she was met with pure chaos, bumping into petrified and agitated employs from Harry’s company scurrying out of their main foyer and she could persist but to ask what happened only to be informed in stammers that the staff messed up big and caused a loss of million dollars— making Harry terribly mad and fire people left and right.
It wasn’t a joke at all.
Because once, she steps inside, bag falling from her shoulder as she sighs in exhaustion feeling her muscles stiffening everywhere but one particular spot's hurting wrenchingly— her foggy mind couldn’t figure it out yet. She peeks into Harry’s home office to be met by a very annoyed, aggrieved, furious Harry pacing in his office all whilst with a phone against his ear shouting at someone who was destined to be humiliated today just like her and she pouts gingerly seeing his features skewered tightly into displeasure, the vein that curves along his temple prominent with blood pumping erratically in his body.
His head snaps up at the door’s creak and albeit his eyes softens a little, the kink of brows and the scowl on his lips is still there and he watches her paddle towards him carefully knowing anything at the moment would burst his chimneys out and she wants to be good for her daddy.
“Hi.” She speaks timidly, pout getting more rusty when the greetings not returned and instead he keeps all of his attention on the phone keeping a loose arm around her.
She grumbles, when he gestures down at her to give him a sec and untangles himself from her walking away and huffing and puffing into the phone.
How could he!
She feels so denied and rejected and kicked like it’s done to those affection starved lil puppies.
Her clingy tendencies flying high drunk and wooly. The needy beastie inside her wanting nothing more than take a bath where Harry could cream her back in her favourite berry bubbles, massaging her head and whisper sweet nothings into her ear, then lots and lots of cuddles, maybe he'll be generous enough and let her keep him snug inside her while they watch movie because she had such an awful day.
But, No! He's trying to escape free from her because she’s such a burden for him now.
Her eyes turns glassy, her shoulders slumping sadly and out of nowhere she’s feeling cold and barren as Harry’s voice becomes a wafting fume for her— an indication she has gone under too much.
“Daddy . . .” She stomps behind him, circling his footsteps like a whiny puppy and grapples at his dress shirt gasping sullenly when he swats her dainty hands away and glares down at her in dominance, his tone harsh as he blocks the receiver with his palm and mouths at her with a huff, “Stop being needy fo’ once. I’ve clearly some important issues to care for, Y/N.” Poor Y/N's deathly grip on his shirt loosens sorrowfully and her chin wobbles as she nodded still wanting to be good for him and if it wasn’t enough to give her the biggest heartbreak of the year— he even rolled his eyes at her too grumping under his breath about something how he turned her into a spoiled brat himself.
“Okie. . .” Her voice strangled and small. She shrinks into herself but wasn’t paid any heed from Harry and without another word she leaves him as to be it.
Having a huge breakdown in her room didn’t help at all. A painful headache hitting her like a train as she clumsily strips down, wearing one of his t-shirt heavily drenched in his scent he keeps for her under her pillow anytime she needs it and hides under the blankets with tears still running down her swollen cheeks— slipping into a light slumber from all of weariness and crying.
Once the smoke cleared from Harry’s mind and his capabilities of rational thinking coming back to him, he was reminded of how he denied his baby of his littlest of affection and tenderness when she clearly looked so glum and sad and upset.
He wanted to whip himself in head.
He’s such a twat that he let work come between them.
He curses himself. Making a sprint to his bedroom, knowing he’d find her none other than there and he was right puffing out a disheartened sigh when his eyes falls over his princess buried under all of these layers of blankets, he crawls up towards her carefully not to startle her awake.
Grunting at himself when he finds she’s been crying, he strokes a thumb up her blushy cheeks and her wet lashes, kissing her puffy eyelids and her little sad unhappy pout away.
He frowns. Feeling her feverish and flushed under his hand, “Hey puppy . . .” He thumbs down her throat getting a little fretful when she doesn’t stirs, however she’s such a squirmy little one and he moves the blankets away to let her body cool itself smiling proudly at his shirt swallowing her whole is when she snuggled herself more into her stuffie letting the shirt ride up her thighs and hips exposing a ghastly bruise of red and purples and he frowns not remembering it being there before.
Now. He feels shittier. Wanting to jump of the cliff for being a shitty sadist boyfriend to his only beloved.
“No!” Y/N whimpers loudly, squirming away from his touch as he examines her gently and it sent shockwaves to each of her tissues and lions causing her an undeniable pain.
“Puppy, shh, shh. ‘s just me, making sure if y'okay.” He scrambles closer to her towering her to cradle her face and kiss the tip of her nose—- his face falls drastically and his heart cracks miserly when Y/N pushes him away with a sorrowful mumble not even letting him wipe the drool away from the corner of her mouth as he usually does.
“’M okay . . .” She tries to knuckle the sleepiness away with shivery hands, “No you’re not —...” He’s cut off by her angry pout and her silly efforts to keep as much distance between them as possible, “I don’t need, Daddy . . ‘m big and I could take care of me self.” At her puny waver realization dawns upon Harry and his brows shoots up to his hairline feeling nauseous and terrible for not taking care of his babylove earlier.
He’d have never let her be away from him if he knew she was in her subspace.
“Y/N baby . . . I didn’t mean it, darling —--...” With gentleness he tries to approach her but she wraps her arms around her petite figure in a protective manner, haziness taking best of her and Harry’s chest suffocates into itself, being a dom it’s your responsibility to make your subby feel protected, loved and happy and he even failed at that.
He quickly cups both of her hot cheeks in his nippy palms when she hiccups sadly, a sob threatening to slip out, “Yes you did! You meant it. Said you spoiled me, I don’t want your money, promise! I just want you and y'shooed me away saying Y/N’s too needy . . .” Harry flinches at her words. He never even spared a thought to this negativity that she chooses to be with him for his money because he knows out of all the people she’s the only one who loves him out of the boundaries of status and money.
He realises how stabbing they'd have been to her when she was so sensitive and floaty wanting nothing more, just him.
How deep she has gone if she’s taking her own name in third person.
“’M sorry baby. So sorry. Swear on myself, didn’t mean to hurt my baby, knows tha’ work shouldn’t be an excuse t’ make y'feel unloved—- but those bastards got a tick outta me.” He rambles on frantically. Afraid she’ll think he’s lying and would finally make up her mind to leave him.
“You didn’t?” She asks with so much innocence Harry nearly cries out, “’Course I didn’t! How could I? You could never be needy, Bab. I love you so much and you’re my whole word, forgive me please?”
“You’re forgiven,” She let a small smile flutter up her features, a tinge of gleam in her previous dull eyes brightening the whole room and Harry immediately bunches her up in his lap.
“Can I kiss you?” He asks her, not sure if she still needs space from him and would rather be better without him but she bobs her head shyly and he chuckles softly before touching their lips together into a tender loving kiss and brushes their noses up and down murmuring sweetly coy to her.
“Now, could y'tell daddy how y'got this bruise baby? How did ya get hurt?” He coos, brushing her sweaty hair back and rubs her sweet gland behind her ear delicately, “Oh yeah . . . this, was raining and slipped.” She murmurs, hissing a gasp jolting away when Harry glides his fingers gently down her hip bone and fresh tears springs in her eyes as she buries herself in his chest, “Daddy hurts. . .” . “Oh babypie. Daddy’s g'na take care of his love.” He lays her down gently kissing her forehead when she whines for him to keep on holding her, “’M right here darling. G'na prep us a bath, make my baby alright.” Saying this he quickly disappears inside the washroom and next their room’s sursuring with marble tub filling with warm water, Harry throws in her favourite pink coloured bath bombs and rose essences and throws their towels in the warmer coming back with her as he left her to be, he has decided he’s gonna love on her whole night, “My baby’s the best, ain’t she? She’s my bestest girl.” He coos down at her sweetly and slides his forearms under her knees and back picking her up carefully and brings her to his chest securely.
She closes her eyes, biting down a whimper when Harry dips them in the water some it sloshing down the edges of bathtub and it envelopes them and gives a stingy feeling to her bruise before soothing it down.
He rubs her arms, and circles smoothing patterns on her tummy and kisses her a gallons as she melts in his embrace and he let’s her sink into him more, nibbling and sponging wet ticklish kisses on her neck making her purr and become a puddle of softness in his hold while she takes her time to mumble all the bad events that happened to her and he felt so guilty of not asking her how she’s and how her day went when she came to him, in need of some of his lovin.
“I love you so much, bab.” He suckles her earlobe, toying and plucking her bottom plush lip, “Was prick to me love —.. you deserve all my lovin,” He noses at her jaw, not forgetting it to mark it with his pecks and sloppy bites.
“’S okay daddy, y'had a bad day too.” He’s grateful to have her in his life. She cares about him, maybe more than he does for her and he feels himself lucky for it.
“You want me to help you relax?”
“Can I have you?” Her tone bashfully desperate and coy, Harry meanders their fingers together and kisses her knuckles softly.
Considering her wound still being sore and pulp, having sex would be painful for her and she might not grasp it in her hazy mind but Harry doesn’t want to hurt at all.
He plants a little noisy smooch to her shoulder when she nods, she mews and purrs when Harry glides his palm all the way down her body and cups her pussy digging his palm into her mound and coats his digits with her arousal dipping the pads of his fingers into her entrance, “All this wet f'me?” Palming her tits while whispering sweet nothings into her ear when she gasps and closes up on Harry scratching nails into his bended knees.
“Shh, shh puppy, jus' relax hmm? Feel yourself.” With sputtery inhales she does as he says, soon two of his fingers slips inside her and he strokes her pussy and pulls them out making her all whiny and pushes them back with a squelching noise, fucking her with it smiling and stopping when her thighs parts falls again his’s completely.
“Daddy!” She writhes and whines, trembly hands trying to bring Harry fingers back to her pulsating wetness, “You’re the cutest.” He smiles against her lips giving her cheeks several squishes and pats her head loving to see his adorable princess all flustery for him.
On her demands. He slicks his fingers back inside her and caresses the insides of her thighs while she pants and sinks onto his knuckles blabbering out daddydaddydaddy weepily.
“Cum fo’ me, puppy. Feels good? Yeah? My baby feels nice?” He rasps in her mouth, curving and petting the soft spot inside her pussy and sucks onto her upper lip when she moans and mewls loudly gushing all over his finger and he keeps on fucking her till she’s all sleepy and balmy against his chest.
Harry coaxes her tenderly, smoothing his hands all over her twitchy spots and patches sloppy kisses all over her face that makes her all giggly and shy—- the amount of endorphins spiking high in her system.
“Love you so much, daddy.” She mushes puckering her lips into his throat.
“Love you too, pup.”
#dom harry x subby y/n#dom harry x sub reader#dom!h x sub!reader#dom!h x sub!y/n#dom harry#harry styles fanfic#harry styles story#harry styles one shot#harry styles blurb#harry styles smut#cute harry#harry styles#harry smut#harry styles fanfiction#fluff#harry angst#hsh
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Can I please please request one where Natasha and Yelena have another younger sister (Y/N) and she gets badly injured and her older sisters are hysterical since they’re afraid to lose one they love the most
A Race Against Time | romanoff fam fic
Summary: Natasha and Yelena do their best to help their hurt younger sister.
Authors Note: Thanks for requesting!
Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)
MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 | Main Masterlist
PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.
header c @/twitalents
“Everybody alright?” Natasha asked as Alexei and Melina approached her and Yelena. The redhead herself definitely hadn’t gotten out of the whole ordeal without injuries. In fact, from Dreykov punching her to the fight against the Widows, and the fight against Antonia (not to mention the injuries from the past few days that she hadn’t taken care of), she was in some pain. However she didn’t worry about herself, she knew she’d be fine. She always was.
Natasha glanced over and spotted Y/N making her way over to them, too. From the distance, Natasha couldn’t tell that she was limping and was very hurt.
“I am clearly injured,” Melina deadpanned, causing Natasha to look back over and send her adoptive mother a smile as an apology. With a quick glance, Natasha could tell that she’d be okay, she’d just need a cast on that ankle and-
Thump.
The sound, accompanied by Yelena’s loud gasp and yelp, broke through Natasha’s thoughts and caused her to whip around suddenly. The sight her eyes landed on instantly sent what felt like an ice shard plunging into her chest. No. No.
By the time she snapped out of it, Yelena was already by Y/N’s unconscious figure, which the thump must have been - her plummeting to the ground - and Alexei was helping Melina over as fast as he could. Natasha sped past them and dropped to her knees, her brain wired to already be processing the situation and formulating a plan, while she lightly stopped Yelena’s wrist to prevent her from going to shake Y/N.
“You don’t move someone who is unconscious unless necessary - it could injure them,” she breathed out. Yelena, who could see that her older sister was in autopilot mode, sat back and let her do her thing, opting to look up at her parents, instead.
Both their eyes were glued to Y/N. Alexei’s eyebrows crinkled and, after taking a big breath, muttered (just loud enough for them to hear), “There’s blood on you.”
Natasha’s eyes snapped down and sure enough, her knees were bloodied. She quickly looked up only to see blood beginning to come from Y/N’s stomach where she had fallen on her side. Closing her eyes for a moment to allow herself to think, Natasha carefully and gently pulled up Y/N’s shirt, only to see an open gash in the shape of the Widow hourglass.
“Wha-?” She said, barely forming a word, and Yelena leaned over to see.
She immediately began shaking her head and pushed Y/N onto her back. “I-I know what this is, I think. I remember hearing about a weapon that’d leave that mark,” she rambled out.
Melina peered over Natasha’s shoulder and when she saw it, her face went pale. “That-that weapon, it ejects a blast that makes that mark when it meets the skin. It was made as a precaution in case any of the Widows went rogue - it was made years ago. But only a few were made because they were so confident in themselves. It-it goes along with a process they constructed to re-brainwash the Widows. The blast gets under her skin, in her body, with a chemical that’s in it, and that chemical starts the brainwashing process,” she explained.
A park of hope entered Yelena’s eyes. “So she won’t be fully brainwashed?” She asked.
“Not without the rest of the procedure,” Melina began, but then her eyes widened when she remembered something and horror quickly flashed across her face. “But if the process isn’t completed within a certain time period, the chemical will wear off its brainwashing effects and instead will start hurting her . . . A lot . . . But I have an antidote-” her tone sped up now, “-It’s back at the house. We need to get her there.”
Natasha and Yelena nodded, both having gone through a great wave of emotions throughout Melina’s words. Yelena, while racked with worry, still remained hopeful, and Natasha did her best to be, too, but her tears were drying and she was sniffling.
“The jet is-” Alexei began to say, when the sound of the engines of cars rapidly approaching cut him off.
Natasha looked over. “Shit, Ross,” she said, regretting even tipping him off to their location in the first place.
Melina bit her lip. “You girls go. Take Y/N home. The antidote is labelled ‘Ant-Widow,’,” she told them firmly.
Yelena’s lips parted to protest, not wanting to split up, but catching Natasha picking up Y/N out of the corner of her eye stopped her. She nodded, rising to her feet.
“We’ll distract them. They won’t want anything to do with us when they realize you’re not here,” Melina insisted.
Natasha sent her a look that she could only hope was conveying everything she wanted it to. A million thoughts whizzed about in her mind, none making room for each other. She wondered, would they leave them alone? Or would they be taken into questioning? Shouldn’t she be the one facing Ross - since she called him there? Is Y/N going to be okay? Will they get there in time?
By the way Melina looked back at her, Natasha thought that her message had been received. There was no time to go over the plan any longer, if they stayed even a couple more seconds they’d get caught by Ross, whose army of cars headed to a halt.
Natasha bolted off in the jet’s direction, Yelena quick on her heels. They rushed inside and Natasha took her time to gently put Y/N down before going to the pilot seat. Yelena sat down in the back, wanting to watch over their little sister.
Neither of them said anything until Natasha had gotten them off the ground and away from the field. Yelena could hear the engine whirring and she knew that Natasha was going as fast as this aircraft could probably go.
“Natasha,” she said, her voice small and hesitant, reminding Natasha of her own self when she was younger. The redhead braced herself for her sister’s words. “Do you think we’ll get there in time?”
Natasha let out a slow yet steady breath, fighting back the urge to tell her not to say that. She wondered the same thing, and she hated it. She didn’t answer, though, because she didn’t want to lie. She didn’t know herself, and she also hated that.
Yelena looked down in defeat when she didn’t get an answer and continued watching Y/N. She couldn’t stop herself from worrying and when she spotted the other injuries — bruises, cuts, scrapes — littering her body, she got up and went to the back.
The blonde grabbed the med kit they had stored and went back, quickly opening it up and getting everything she needed. First, bandages. Yelena put pressure on the wound even though she knew it wouldn’t bleed out, and a twinge of guilt hit her when Y/N moved and groaned unconsciously.
She then wrapped up Y/N’s stomach and tended to her other injures, every so often glancing at Natasha, who she could see by the way she was sitting up straight that she was tense. Upset. Worried. Yelena had to admit she was feeling those same things but busied herself by taking care of Y/N.
This carried on and they were about ¾ there when everything shifted. Y/N, who had been mostly quiet throughout the journey, suddenly rolled onto her side, eyes opening with a startled gasp.
Natasha frantically looked up at Yelena and the latter jumped to resolve the situation. Gently, she put her hands on her younger sister’s shoulders and tried to turn her onto her back, but Y/N fought her off and scurried back, against the wall.
“Y/N,” Yelena said, slowly putting her hands up in a “surrender” gesture.
The younger one shook her head as tears began to flow down her cheeks. “It-it hurts,” she got out, wrapping her arms around herself.
Yelena sent Natasha a frightened, desperate look and the glint in Natasha’s eyes held tears in them. “I can’t go any faster!” She cried out in frustration, her anger at her helplessness beginning to grow.
Yelena turned back to Y/N. “Take deep breaths with me, okay?” She said, and took a couple deep breaths to show her. It took Y/N a second, but she followed along. However, the pain didn’t take a break for long, and quickly came crashing back to her, like a magnet.
She let out another cry, but this one filled with that much more anguish, desperation, a pure rage from wanting it to be over, a rage that nearly caused her to vomit. Y/N leaned forward, hoping that there was something - anything - that could relieve this pain for even just a second. The warmth she was soon filled with from her older sister’s arms wrapping around her and pulling her close did nothing to soothe pain, but she found someone to have a steady grip on, someone to hold.
This continued on. In every cry let out, Yelena could’ve sworn each one was louder than the last. She didn’t know what to do so she did the only thing she could and stayed there. After a particularly loud cry from Y/N, Yelena couldn’t stop a “Natasha!” from escaping.
“I’m trying!” She shouted over the engine and over Y/N, doing her best to blink away the tears and focus, but everytime she was on the brink of it, something tore her away.
After what felt like what could only be described as eons, Natasha managed to touch down in the same spot she had just a day ago. The moment they made contact, she leapt out of her seat, nearly tumbling to the floor, and practically fell against the door.
“Stay with her,” was all she said to Yelena before pushing all her weight against the door and breaking off into a run towards the house.
Natasha had run fast before. To escape Antonia, on countless SHIELD missions, and even to beat Sam in a race, but none amounted to this. The mountains and trees whipped by so fast that she felt like she was in a race car and it made her head spin. Nonetheless (and she thanked her extensive training for that), Natasha’s stamina held out and she ran through the house, tripping over things and knocking others over, until she reached Melina’s office.
At first, everything looked like a normal office space for a normal business woman, but the underlying science and spy secrecy that she knew had to be inside was revealed. Cabinets upon cabinets filled with vials upon vilas and files upon files. She scoured the entire room and nearly dropped the green-filled file when she saw its label. This was it.
A moment of victory passed until Natasha remembered the weight of the situation and she got back on her feet, running like the wind, and leaving behind the office looking like some raccoons had gotten inside.
By the time she reached the top of the hill, Natasha could make out the outline of Yelena carrying Y/N (who was draped over her like a curtain, by the way) toward her.
They met in the middle and Yelena put Y/N down, the older sisters kneeling beside her. Y/N was half-conscious at this point and Natasha moved at the speed of light to get the vial lid off. “She was getting worse, I couldn’t wait!” Yelena yelled.
When she got it open, Natasha pushed it towards Y/N’s lips. “Y/N, honey, c’mon, you gotta drink,” she encouraged, hand trembling as Y/N attempted to fight her off. It was only Yelena running her hands through her hair that calmed her down, and she took a small sip of the vial’s contents at first before gulping it down.
When she stopped squirming and seemed to no longer be in pain, instead falling into a peaceful sleep, that’s when both Natasha and Yelena had calmed down. It had been a rollercoaster, but they did it, and she was okay. The two held each other, relieved.
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Sukuna never had a problem getting himself off. He had multiple people to pleasure him ofcourse. It was always one needy whore after another, girl or boy, man or woman. They all wanted to be beside him and praise him.
All untill you. You and your innocent little joy of life.
The day he saw you he was raptured by your sweet smile and blinding beauty. Ofcourse sukuna being the king of curses wanted a taste of you and he knew that once you got a taste of him, you would be on your knees ready to serve him, or so he thought.
To lure you in he disguised himself as a commoner. As much as he hated it that was the only way he could get you to sleep with him. And so there he was standing in front of you- hand in hand...and in a date? He didnt quite understand the concept of dating. It was bizzare and quite complex.. I mean why spend time talking about interests and giving information about oneself that can be used in battles when you could indulge in worldly pleasures lusting over him.
But when he stood there, next to your smiling figure that was failing to get the toy out of the mysterious box of gifts and treasures or as you called it a claw crane.
He didn't understand how small things like those could excite you, he knew he could get you better toys, gifts unfathomable to human kind. Gifts and treasures that only the richest-
"Hehe look isnt this one adorable" you swirled your arm into his pulling him close to hear your heavenly laughter more clearly making him twinge with goosebumps.
As you continued to adore the little ball of cotton he made it his mission to buy the biggest toy there was. Huffing his chest when making the promise only to find you laughing and telling him that it was late and you both needed to catch the last bus.
Scoffing he agreed but somehow the walk back to the station made his way with talks and taunts that somehow made the curse laugh with genuine joy and peace.
Sometimes he found himself smiling and bit too fondly and having to remind himself that he was the kind of curses, devil reincarnated, a powerful curse who once ravaged the earth making thousands tremble-
Disturbed from his thoughts you pulled him down to land the lightest kiss on his cheekbone making him stare at you in wonder.
"Good night sukuna" ofcourse he told you his name....well he wanted to tell you his actual form too but after tonight...god what if he would scare you? What if you didnt want to be with him...wait be with him? Why would he be worried if you wanted to be with him or not?
Laughing he questioned his thoughts making him talk to himself in the dark way back home
'Yea right. Me the powerful sukuna..wanting a woman like her to be with me' what rubbish he thought while having the slightest tinge of red coat his ears.
As a couple weeks went by you both got closer and closer. The more you grew closer you more flustered you got, and ofcourse he wouldnt miss any tiny detail. Everytime he did something to mess with you he would await to see your lovely flustered reaction.
When he would lean down to brush his lips on yours ever so slightly teasing every inch of your tiny self he found himself filled with eagerness and desperation to get closer and make you his. But oh dear god the way you would whimper and sound off his reactions sending blood straight to his dick.
When he found out you reacted like that, whimpering and trembling at his arms sensitive to his touch he found himself repeating it over and over again.
Only to break apart one day and found himself pinning you to the floor as he floated on top of you lips inches apart, eyes fumbling between his and his lips as though signaling to wanting more.
"You look so fucking pretty like this" he said cupping your tiny face with his big hand bringing it closer to a heated kiss, tongue swirling into your own only making you groan into the kiss. With every sound you made, every trace of your small fingers on his body he only was tempted more, tempted to rip off every piece of clothing your body dared to hold.
He wanted to leave marks all over your body, emotion of jealousy and possessiveness taking over him as he left dark red kisses onto your soft skin.
When he raised his head he found you looking at him with a shock.
"Wha- who are you?"
Confusion evidenton his face he jerked back "Huh doll what are you talking about? I'm sukuna"
"No..sukuna doesnt look like this" you said backing off to a corner and as he noted his tatto on his wrists he realised, he changed back to his form. A form he grew when in lust or holding a desire to monopolize something.
Fuck
"Sweetheart. It's me.. I was just-" he knew no words put together would explain who he was and the grew a bit angry when he saw your face holding disgust or so he thought.
Huffing he sat down explaining the most he could. Leaving out parts where he would continue on another day but today he needed you, he needed to feel you, to hear your sweet sultry voice begging him to make you cum.
To his shock you werent afraid, hurting he didnt tell you before this but as you scoped closer cupping his face clearly way too big for your tiny hand
"I just wish youd told me sooner. I dont care where you're from and what you did. As long as we are together I dont want to worry about that."
Sukuna never knew words could turn him on the way it did right now. Pouncing on you continuing where he left off he was quick to remove all your clothing.
As he removed his he noted the way you stared into his chest eyeing his every feature. As though you wanted to eat him up. As he removed his underwear your mouth fell wide.
There was no way that would fit you. No way
As though he could read your mind he came to kiss you deeply
"Dont worry brat, I'll make sure to stretch you wide enough to take me. Hmm? I know my princess will do that for me wont ya?" Nodding he smacked one hand on your cunt he trailed his fingers that were so big you worried about them fitting too.
As he rubbed circles on your clit enjoying every sound that poured out from your sweet lips. As he traced the lining of your dripping pussy he collected some of your juices in his fingers before bringing them to his mouth sucking on them
"Fuck you taste so good. Cant wait to fill you with my cum."
With the end of that sentence he entered your tight hole. Fingering you slowly at first so you got used to his huge fingers. He pumped you in and out observing every twitch and shiver you showed. He sucked onto one of your breasts and the other hand rubbed deep circles on your clit and massaged your folds.
The way he fingered you were sinful, every turn and pull making you moan in delight. As he swirled his index and pointing finger to pump more juices from your dripping cunt he came down to suck on your sensitive clit flicking it with his tongue. He continued his ministrations ramming his fingers into your twitching hole.
He was observant, learning your every reaction as he curled up his fingers to reach a spot so sensitive earning a Yelp and you scurrying away from his touch only for him to pull you back with his nails digging into the soft of your thighs. Kissing you thighs biting the inner side of them.
"Did I tell you could move away from my touch brat? The next time you scurry away and I wont let you cum. Okay? and be a good little whore and lemme stretch you" his words leaving a harsh warning into your brain you knew not to move. Rather you pushed your hips to match his pace as he fingered you to your orgasm.
As you felt a gush of water on your inner thighs you were left heaving and trying to make sense of reality when he came forward lining himself towards your entrance collecting the juices your dripping pussy let out.
"Hmm..and what should I do next princess?? Hmm?"
"Please- I.. want you in me" you said nervously fidgeting with you arms as you let you arms hang on his broad shoulders. He kissed the side of your ears whispering in an octave deeper than usual
"Want what?" He teasing and licking your ears, he knew it was your sensitive spot
"I want your huge cock. Please sukuna"
"Say it clearly brat" he said slapping your boobs before sucking and nibbling your tip
"I want ...want your big dick in me.. please sukuna"
"That's it..that's all I wanted to hear my sweet whore"
As words left your mouth you felt a stretch in your tiny pussy earning a groan from the great king himself before sinking in to reach the deepest part of you that no one ever could
"Fuck you're so fucking tight" he said ramming himself into you obliterating your sweet cunt. His thrusts never slowed down only growing stronger and a tad bit faster so that you were getting accustomed to him. The stretch was so much, too much for you to handle as you felt tears spilling from your reddened cheeks you held onto him hoping you make it out out this alive because the way he was making a mess out of you you werent sure.
He continued and on noticing your tears he kissed your cheeks and lips asking if you were okay. The great king reduced to asking whether you were okay or not..times had truly changed
"Go- go a bit slower.. you're...to..too big unnhhh" you said leaving nail marks on his back earning a hiss from him and that sentence just drove him over the cliff.
Realization hit and he slowed down not so much just a bit so that his arms were on either side of you, mouth kissing your cry of pleasure away.
Soon his arms held your waist in a way to slightly hold you up and he angled himself to curve himself into you. You gasped into the air, breath leaving your lungs for a second as he smirked with the power that only he had. To make such a face out of you.
Hair messed up, body sweating and mouth left gaping open for him to steal open mouthed kisses anytime he wants. As he pulled you closer every inch of his dick now entering your tight cunny you felt your stomach bulging a bit and on looking down you found a bump of his tip. Smirking he massaged the area
"Is my dick too big for you tight cunny hm?" He said but the sight of you fucked up like this only drove him nuts making him turn your insides violently making you scream.
"Yes..you're so big. So fucking biggg...fuck su...I'm.. I'm so.."
Circling your sensitive clit he groaned into the sensation of you tightening on him "I know princess. Fuck I'm close too"
As you felt white run out you jerked your hips to match his brutal pace whimpering about how big he was and how hes ruining you.
With every thrust he grew closer to his unbecoming as he let out white strings of hot cum into your tight sweet cunny.
The sight etched into his memory, you laid out in front of him bare and vulnerable with dark marks all over your body, cunt leaking out his cum and sheets soaked with both your fluids.
This was a sight he would never forget as he laid next to you bringing you on top of him you rubbed circles on his tattooed chest admiring his chiseled body.
He brought your face up to kiss him sweetly, as though he was scared he would break you.
You fell into a deep slumber while the curse stayed awake..wondering what to be done of his new pet.
#sukuna x reader#sukuna#jjk smut#smut#sukuna smut#sukuna x y/n#smut jjk#sukuna ryomen#sukuna ryoumen x reader#ivywrites#smut sukuna
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𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳: 𝐑𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐒𝐞𝐱/𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲 (𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝)
Warnings: NSFW content. Read at your own discretion.
❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰
Hongjoong was already frustrated. He was on a deadline to finish up a song and he was nowhere near even getting halfway. Eden had just recently scolded him and he felt extremely agitated and irritated at this point.
"Hey Joong? I brought you lunch so-"
"Just leave it on the table, I'll eat it later." He cut you off rather sharply, barely even sparing you a glance.
"I was actually thinking we could eat together." You were off put by his short temper.
"I don't have time Y/N." He huffed out, a hand running through his hair.
You were pissed at this point and were not about to take his crap anymore.
"Exactly! You don't have time for me anymore! I get your job demands a lot of your time, but to not even take a break and enjoy just 10 minutes without....these." You gestured to all the mess scattered around his desk.
Hurt about being reminded about his neglect of you yet angry at being scolded once more, Hongjoong slammed his hands on the table, swiftly pushing off the chair before going over to where you were standing and stared you down.
"All right. Fine. 10 minutes you say? I can work with that."
Without a warning, he pushed you onto the couch, making a quick work of your pants and stripping them off you. You let out a sharp cry when he began devouring your pussy, animalistic growls spilling out his lips as he slurped you up as if he'd been starved. When you tried pulling away, he landed a harsh slap on your clit, making your hips jolt up and a shriek come out.
"Shut up and take what I give you you needy desperate whore. You wanted 10 minutes? Let's see how many times I can make you cum in that time."
❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪
Hearing the front door slam, Seonghwa brace himself for yet another one of your moods after a long day at work. Wanting to help your day be less stressful, he had prepared you some of your favorites food.
"Y/N." He called out to you in a sing song tone.
Stomping over, you just looked at him with an eyebrow raised, total resting bitch face plastered on.
"I made your favorite." He happily told you, but you still didn't seem to bat an eyelash at him, you simply turned around and began walking out.
"Wait Y/N come on. Here at least try some. It'll help you with your stress-"
"Can't you take a damn hint Seonghwa?! I don't fucking want it!"
When he tried to approach you with a spoonful of food, you actually snapped and slapped it out of his hand, making it stain his perfectly polished floor. Seonghwa looked at it then looked back at you.
"You know Y/N I think I put up with your bratty attitude and bitchy behavior for too long."
You gasped sharply when he suddenly turned you around and slammed you up against the table, grabbing your arms so he could hold them behind your back.
"Maybe I've been a little too nice to you....making you baths, preparing you food, all in hopes of helping you release stress....but its clear a little bitch like you doesn't need that."
You squirmed under his grasp, trying to get free but with no use as his grip was tight on you. The sound of him unbuckling his belt made you stop moving entirely, and you shivered when pulled your skirt up before ripping your tights and pushing your underwear to the side.
"Clearly a bitch like you needs a good pounding, fuck that attitude right out of you."
❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸
You knew you were screwed the instant Yunho roughly pulled you off Mingi's lap and took you into his room, shutting the door right behind him before staring at you with fire burning through his eyes. You had never seen him so mad before.
No soon afterwards, you were currently on top of him, his hips bucking up at you at a relentless pace that had you screaming his name over and over again. His hands were practically digging into your skin, holding tightly onto you with such ferocity.
"Look at you, being so desperate for a good fuck that you'd actually try and whore yourself out to my best friend like a cheap bitch."
When one of his hands came up to grasp at your throat, you were shivering on top of him.
"Weren't you?! What! Is my cock not enough for you? My cock and these hands you love so much not satisfying you anymore? Hmm? Is that why you were all cuddled up to Mingi? Hoped he'd actually take pity and fuck you?"
You knew it wasn't your intention to make him jealous, but god if this is what jealousy did to him, you would totally do it again.
"Stupid slut. Mingi's not going to fuck you. You're just a dirty, filthy hole, he doesn't want you...."
Even after you came, you were still a crying mess as Yunho kept fucking up into you, not caring that you were beyond your limit, your inner thighs getting sore.
"But you're my little hole for me to fuck. Got it? And if I need to fuck you dumb to get it through that stupid useless brain of yours to understand that only I can make you feel this good, then so be it. I'll fuck you til you break, my little sex toy."
❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰
Yeosang was not very pleased by your behavior lately. You had been giving him the silent treatment and avoiding him for no good reason. Trying to coax what was wrong out of you, he came up behind you as you were washing dishes.
"How's my little princess? Did you have a good day?"
He was only met with you elbowing him in the rib and shoved him off you.
"Ok seriously Y/N? What did I even do? Stop being so childish and talk to me like a mature adult."
Hearing you scoff and seeing you roll your eyes at him made him furious and irritated with you. As you tried to walk past him, he grabbed your elbow and picked you up, setting you down on the kitchen counter as his eyes burned a hole through you.
"If you're going to keep acting like a brat, maybe I should just treat you like one then."
You don't know if you truly regret breaking Yeosang's patience. On the one hand, you were definitely not going to be walking straight for a week. On the other, you utterly enjoyed having your face pressed against the pillow, ass up as Yeosang was shoving his dick in and out of you, red handprints scattered across your butt cheeks and hands tied behind your back with one of his ties. Everytime you tried to hide your face in the pillow to muffle your screams, he'd yank your hair up.
"I said I wasn't having you ignore me anymore princess. Now come on, scream my name. I want this entire floor to hear your pathetic whimpers."
❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷
San looked at you with an unamused gaze.
"Repeat what you just said.....I dare you to."
He was pissed off, it was more than clear. But maybe that's what you wanted, wanted him to be as pissed as you were, even just a bit of what you were feeling. It's not that you meant to take out your jealousy on him, but seeing his co-host be extremely clingy towards him backstage and he never did anything about it made your blood boil.
"I said you're nothing more than a fucking horn dog. Probably let that skank suck your dick." You exclaimed in disgust.
The sudden slam of his hand against the wall behind you both scared and thrilled you. Looking at you with a hungry smirk, he opened the door behind you, trapping you inside a closet. In minutes, he was pressing you against the wall, his frantic grunts mixing with your whimpered cries. San would occasionally let out a sadistic laugh at how wrecked you look.
"You're right baby, I am indeed a horn dog. Absolutely love getting my dick wet and fuck a pussy all the time."
Hand reaching between your legs, he began to harshly pinch and rub at your clit, his other hand that was holding onto your hip keeping you from collapsing on the floor as your orgasm took over you.
"But get this straight: I only fuck this pussy right here. Ok? I fucking claimed this a long ass time ago and I'll fuck it whenever I want to."
❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲
Ending the call with your friend, you were coming out of the bedroom when you were suddenly shoved back inside by none other than your usually caring and sweet boyfriend, who looked angry as he closed the door behind him.
"Mingi? What-"
You couldn't finish your sentence as his large hands cupped your cheeks, his long body pushing you back until you landed on the bed. He was kissing you harshly, nothing like the usual tender and loving kisses he'd be known to give you. His hands clutched at your covered breasts, groping at them before he unexpectedly tore your shirt in the middle.
"Mingi! What has gotten into you?!" You exclaimed in shock at his sudden change in behavior.
"I heard you talking to your friend. Saying shit like I'm too soft and vanilla for you."
You moaned out when he began to suck along your neck, his hands cupping your bra and pulling it down enough to have your breasts spill out.
"Oh princess if only you knew I've just been holding back all this time."
With a taunting chuckle, he pulled of you. Undoing his zipper, he began to strip out of his jeans and briefs, letting his long cock spring free, precum leaking at the tip.
"I didn't want to be selfish and break you like I wanted too....... but if that's what you want well then, I'd be happy to oblige my little princess."
❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰
Neither of you knew how it started nor exactly how it escalated. One minute Wooyoung was being the annoying shit he was, with you playfully shoving him away and calling him names, and then the next you were both pushing each other rather abruptly. When you called him a particularly degrading insult, he retaliated likewise and now it seemed like a screaming match between you two.
"You know what? This is fucking stupid!" You hollered and turned away, making a bee line towards your room.
"I'm not done yet!" Wooyoung trailed after you.
"Well I am! Now excuse me, I'm going to go take a shower and hopefully cool off this rage." You stated firmly before slamming the bathroom door right in his face.
The refreshing water seemed to calm you down a little, so you just stood there under the shower head, just letting your body soak in the cold. You were so unaware of your surroundings that you failed to notice Wooyoung had entered the bathroom and didn't realize it until you felt his arms turn you around to face him. No explanation, he just began kissing you, his tongue taking control over your mouth while one hand hiked one of your legs over his waist.
"Still think I'm an annoying bastard?" He grunted fiercely as he thrusted up into you, not giving you time to react as he began pounding into you.
"Yes you are!" You hissed at him, hands swooping his wet hair and tugging at it rather hardly.
He just looked at you with a shit eating grin.
"Yet you still let me fuck you. "
❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸
You were frustrated and stressed out, so was Jongho. Even as you two did your own little things inside the apartment, even the smallest things either of you did made the other let out an annoyed huff. It all culminated when Jongho accidentally spilled his cup of juice on the floor, that little action had you both looking at each other with near contempt.
"I feel like punching something." Jongho confessed.
"Me too." You admitted.
"Wanna punch me?" He offered.
Smirking at him, you thought about something better.
"No.... I think I'd rather fuck you."
So now here you were, underneath your inhumanely strong boyfriend, his cock balls deep inside you, your legs thrown over his shoulders while his hands were already leaving bruises around your inner thighs from how hard he was squeezing at them. You two had already cum several times but you still kept going, pushing past your sensitivity as you both still had a lot of rage and energy to release.
In a particularly sharp angle of his hips, you were quivering under Jongho, for the first time you were actually squirting under him.
"Oh fuck!" Seeing you break down and make a mess all over him and yourself had him cumming soon after, his body collapsing on top of yours.
Both of you were beyond exhausted after all that. Your bodies were so sticky with sweat and your breathing had not yet returned to normal. Looking over at you, Jongho smiled sincerely for the first time in days.
"So.... now that we got that out of the way.... can we cuddle?"
Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.
#ateez#ateez reactions#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez seonghwa#ateez smut#ateez hongjoong#ateez yunho#ateez yeosang#ateez san#ateez mingi#ateez wooyoung#ateez jongho#ateez headcanons
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