#i can only count to four 🤪

[verfound]

Some Sentence Sunday: 11.03.2024

DST means I count worse than usual. 😝

“It’s going to be fine, Luka,” Tikki chirped from his hood as he pedaled back towards the pizzeria. “This is a good thing! It’s making you talk!”

“It’s forcing us to talk, and you two had no right,” he huffed as he braked for a light. “What were you thinking, Tikki? I know Sass is a pain in my ass, but I thought you were smarter than this.”

“Thanks, I think,” Tikki grumped. “Sass just…did it. And then Marinette was leaving, and then I was stuck, and…it’s all going to be fine, though! Marinette likes you — you like her! I know you do!”

“…I really do,” he sighed as he crossed the street.

“See? So it’s going to be fine! It has to be!” Tikki insisted. “You guys are soulmates!”

He tried not to smile at that. He really did. Because it might be true, but he should know better than anyone that just because you were soulmates with someone didn’t mean you ended up together.

All he had to do was look at his parents to know that.

[sluts4matt]

y/n cops an attitude with Chris while they argue so chris bends her over the table and fucks it out of her by overstimulating her? idk. just an idea.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT

pairing: rough!dom chris x latina!reader

summary: chris had been a bit jealous of yours and matt's relationship lately, the two of you seeming closer than before. this irritates you however, and you're not afraid to voice it.

warnings: SMUT, pet names, slight praising if you squint, degradation, spanking, hair pulling, slight dumbification (sorry not sorry)

word count: 1207

author's note: boys being jealous of another guy and fucking you so good as a reminder that you're only theirs will never NOT be attractive to me. (if you saw this poll this was originally called attitude problem 🤪)

"are you serious right now?" you ask walking into the kitchen. chris is sitting on a stool by the counter, a can of pepsi in front of him while he scrolls through his phone.

chris looks up at you, a neutral look in his eyes. "what?" he mumbles as if he didn't hear you.

"are you seriously jealous of my friendship with matt?" you ask, annoyance rising in your tone. he scoffs, "when did i ever say this?" he asks.

you walk closer to him, crossing your arms. "you don't need to say it for me to see how fucking obvious it is," you groan, "i mean shit, kids your fucking brother and the only thing i hear anymore when i'm around is snide remarks and comments that don't actually need to be said."

the look on chris' face irritates you even more, "its the fucking passive aggressiveness towards him for absolutely no reason."

"he's not the one dating you," chris snaps, "he shouldn't have your twenty-four-fucking-seven attention," he states, "but guess what? he fucking does," his voice growing louder.

"and you wanna know why?" he asks rhetorically, standing up, towering over you. "because he's the perfect gentleman. he's fucking nice to you, and kind to you, and does all this stupid little shit that he knows you fucking like."

you kept your mouth shut, craning your neck to look up at him. "if you like him so fucking much," he states, "why don't you go fuck him instead?"

he was trying to piss you off, and it was working. you felt yourself get annoyed. "maybe i will since my actual boyfriends being a little bitch," you snap.

it took a minute for chris to respond, the look in his eyes showing anger. he was pissed, and you didn't know whether to feel satisfied or afraid.

he leans closer to you, and your back presses against the table, the corner digging into your skin. you didn't move, staring back at him with a similar glare.

"you wanna run that by me again, sweetheart?" he asks, his hands going to the edge of the counter, trapping you between his arms.

"maybe i will since my actual boyfriend being a little bitch," you repeat. the look on his face darkens and before you knew it, he flipped you around, bending you over the table. his hand lands down on your ass, hard. a whine escaping your lips at the sensation.

"is that a fucking attitude i'm hearing?" he growls, leaning down to your ear, "because if so, i think it's time someone gives you an attitude adjustment."

you whimper, feeling his crotch press against your ass. his fingers grip your hair, yanking your head back, "you know, maybe i should call matt in here, since you love him so fucking much."

you didn't respond, feeling his other hand slip underneath your skirt, pulling your panties aside. he was pissed, and the way his fingers rubbed at your cunt were proof of that.

"chris-" you start, only for him to cut you off. "shut up," he growls, unbuckling his belt. you felt his hard cock pressing against your pussy, "if i'm not getting my girl, no one else is," he states, the tip of his cock teasing your hole. "'specially not fucking matt," he growled.

he slams into you without warning, and you scream, not expecting it. "fuck!" you yell, feeling him immediately start to pound into you. the sound of skin hitting skin filling the room.

"yeah, i forgot to tell you, baby," he grunts, one of his hands holding your hips, while the other gripped your hair, "i'm gonna make you forget everyone's name but mine."

you felt tears pool in your eyes, his fingers tugging at your hair, and the feeling of his cock repeatedly ramming into your tight cunt making you cry out in pleasure. "who's your fucking boyfriend, huh?" he asks, the hand holding your hip moving to your ass, landing a harsh slap. "you," you pant, "it's you, chris," you cry, your orgasm nearing.

"damn fucking right," he grunts, his cock thrusting into you with reckless abandon, "and what's matt?" he asks, spanking your ass again. "n-nothing," you stutter.

"that's fucking right, baby," he states, his hand letting go of your hair and slipping between the table and your body, rubbing at your clit. "shit," you curse, a sob escaping your lips, "i-i'm close," you whine.

"then cum slut," he states, the coil in your stomach snapping as your release takes over. "oh, fuck!" you scream, chris' thrusts never slowing.

"we're not fucking done, sweetheart," he states, continuing to slam his hips against yours. "fuck, chris, its s-sensitive," you whine. "shoulda thought about that before saying you'd fuck matt," he grunts, grabbing at your wrist with his large hand, holding them in place behind your back.

your eyes roll to the back of your head, his cock slamming into your g-spot over and over again. the sound of skin against skin, and your moans filled the room. "fuck, fuck," you moan, "please, chris, please," you beg, not sure what you're asking for.

his hips slam into you with a newfound aggression, chasing his own high. "i'm close," he groans, his hand making your hair a makeshift pony tail, just to yank back, your back colliding with his chest. "look at you," he cooed condescendingly, he placed sloppy kisses against your shoulder blade.

"getting fucked so good by the little bitch boyfriend, hm?" he asks, his cock still slamming into your dripping cunt, "you just love when i treat you like a fucking whore, don't you, sweetheart?" he asks.

you were unable to form any coherent thoughts, his thrusts hitting deep within you, the overstimulation making your body go limp. you let out a series of babbles and cries, begging for him.

"i'm cumming," he states, his voice low and gravely, his teeth sinking into your shoulder. you could feel his cock pulsate inside of you, the feeling of his warm release coating your walls triggering yours.

you could feel him pulse, your walls clenching around him, milking him for all his worth. your head rolls back onto his shoulder, your breath coming out in heavy pants.

"did i hurt you?" he asks softly, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your hips, and back. you hum, "a little," you squeak out, "but it was nice," you reassure him, and you could feel him kiss the shell of your ear.

"i didn't scare you did i?" he asks, and you could tell he was concerned.

"no," you state, "not at all," you add, and his hands go turn you around, lifting you onto the marble counters. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to hurt you," he states, his lips ghosting over your bruised neck, from the previous nights.

"i know," you state, smiling up at him. "did it work though?" he asks, his finger tracing your bottom lip, "forgot about matt?" he questions.

you smile, wrapping your arms around his neck, "wasn't a thought in my head anyways," you whisper, your nose nudging his.

"good," he smiles, "i'd hate to have to do it again," he adds, pecking your lips.

tag list:

@hysteria-things @tillies33ssss @soimightlikeoldmen69 @sturniolossss @freshsturns @lily-strnlo @etvar12 @iloveurgf @sstvrnioloo @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloa @chrryclouds @sturniolho @mayhem-72

[hwaslayer]

love you in slow motion (psh) | four.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist ♡

—summary: seonghwa will go through hell and back for you, as long as he can continue to see that smile on your face. because to him, that smile feels like a rainbow after the rain, thewarmth of the sun on a winter day.��because to him, you’re more than just his bestfriend—you’re love. even though everyone seems to see that except you.

—pairing: park seonghwa x f!reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriends to lovers | fluff, angst, eventual smut

—word count: 10k

—chapter warning: cussing/mature language, alcohol consumption, intoxication, club scene!, twerkin buns at the clurrrb 🤪, kissing/making out, quick rundown of oc's history with mingi, physical altercation, mention of small injuries/wounds (lip cut), arguments, crying, the silent treatment 💀, hints of a hookup, oc x seonghwa just being a mess per usual sorry 😫 lol

"Are you still riding with me and Joong to the club?" Seonghwa puts your call on speaker while he sits in the passenger's seat of Hongjoong's car.

"Yeah, if I can."

"Can we head over then?"

"Sure. I'm still getting ready."

"We figured." Hongjoong chuckles in the driver's seat, turning into a lot. "What do you want from Egg House?" Seonghwa inches the phone away from his face when you squeal loudly and clap.

"Double egg toast, please!"

"Okay. We'll be there in about 30 minutes or so."

"Thank you!" You hang up the call first and Seonghwa lets out a breath, slouching further in the seat.

"It's so easy to please Y/N." Hongjoong laughs, finding a spot in the opposite end the lot closest to the shop.

"Sometimes."

"San ever tell you about their dinner?"

"Not really. Y/N did. A bit. She was being kinda weird about it, actually."

"Hm." He hums, figuring if it was gonna come from someone, it would be him. "That's probably because they talked about you."

"Me?" Seonghwa furrows his brows in confusion. "What about me?" No wonder you were being so weird about the topic at the aquarium. You couldn't tell him the full story, even though Seonghwa wished you would've. It'd make things way easier.

"What do you mean 'what about you?'" Hongjoong laughs as he heads to the self-checkout area to order. "These unspoken feelings, that's what."

"What did San say?"

"He asked if you two had anything going on with each other."

"Why is that a question when there clearly isn't?"

"Mm, well.." Hongjoong's response has a drip of sarcasm that has Seonghwa

"He didn't have to do that."

"He just didn't wanna get in between anything, of course he had to." Seonghwa is silent and he's biting his tongue because even though he has a rebuttal ready to slip— he's not entirely sure why he'd be defensive and fight back about it.

Hongjoong and San were right. It's not like everyone wasn't aware. The only person who seemed to be was you.

"I don't know what Y/N said. But whatever it was.. was enough for San to just back off." 

"He shouldn't give up on her."

"Him or you?" Joong laughs. "I mean they're still going to be the same. Good friends. I don't think anything was lost. They're probably both comfortable this way, too. Maybe that's just how it's supposed to play out." Joong shrugs. Which, it isn't much of a surprise to Seonghwa when he hears this, especially when you started talking about the potential of ruining things—

♡ FLASHBACK

"As friends. Like we always were." You tug on his wrist. "Hypothetically speaking, if we were to date, would that ruin things between us?" Seonghwa swallows the lump in his throat before shaking his head.

"Why would it ruin things between us?"

"I don't know, because we've always known each other like this. As bestfriends. It could be a dangerous thing, right? Cause we'd know too much about each other or whatever." You look up at him, and he locks his eyes with yours. He wishes he could say everything and nothing at once— but he sticks with the latter, his own example of keeping everything at bay. 

"I truthfully don't think it'd ruin anything."

"B-because I feel like it would and that's why I'm just letting things be with San."

"You sure that's it? Cause I feel like you're asking for a different reason, and not for San in particular."

♡ END

"Hate when you do that." 

"Hate when I'm right and you're wrong.. again?" Seongwa finishes plugging in his order and yours before checking out.

"I got it since you're driving today." Is all he responds before snatching the receipt.

"More gas money for me." Hongjoong snickers, plopping onto a high stool off to the side of the restaurant to wait for the food. 

"Did San say anything else to you?" Joong shrugs and shakes his head.

"Nah. But, he seems to be the same."

"Gotta talk to him." Seonghwa mainly mutters to himself. He just wants San to be okay because he didn't want this idea of you and him getting in the way [despite his feelings]. That was never his intention. But before he can fall into a rabbit hole with his thoughts, his name is being called and a bag full of food is being pushed his way. Joong is already on his way to the car, unlocking the doors to hop in and drive off to your place with a quickness— especially because he was hungry.

When they arrive at your place, they pass through the house to say their hello's to Yaya with Seonghwa handing off the extra sandwich he remembered to buy for her. She happily thanks them before waving them off, telling them that you're probably still getting ready in your suite.

"Hey!" Seonghwa knocks and yells. "Are you decent or whatever?"

"Yeah! Come in!" He hears from the other side just as he tugs on the doorknob. Walking in, he notices a few pieces of clothing scattered along your bed and couch, with you head deep into your closet.

"The hell are you doing?"

"Finding an outfit, what does it look like?" Your response is mumbled as you dig deep into the depths of your closet to find that black cotton mini skirt and a few tops. "Got it!" You hold up a bodysuit and a regular tank in the same color. "Body suit or tank?"

"How the hell are you gonna pee?" Hongjoong asks mid-chew. "Unbuttoning that coochie holder while drunk is crazy."

"You're sick, Kim Hongjoong."

"Nah, tell me. How is that gonna work?" Seonghwa silently takes out your sandwich and plops next to him on the couch.

"He's got a point. I'm not going into that bathroom to save you."

"Ugh." You groan, tossing the bodysuit aside and settling for the tank. "I'll figure out the rest later." You plop next to Hongjoong's free side. "Thank you for the food." You smile over at them.

"Hwa bought it." Hongjoong's eyes are glued to the TV. 

"Thank you, pichu."

"Mhm." Seonghwa responds from his end. 

"Why are San and Woo going separately?"

"San has to help his uncle with something and it might run a bit long. Woo offered to go with him so he wouldn't be alone."

"Mm." You hum. "Hope it doesn't go long."

"Aw. You miss Sannie?" Hongjoong playfully pouts and you hit him on the bicep.

"You're so fucking mean to me." Joong laughs loudly when you continue to whine, Seonghwa contently eating away while watching the show.

"You guys good or what?"

"Yeah, I just want all of us together."

"We will be, don't worry." Seonghwa chimes in and passes you your food. "Eat. I know you'll need like 500 hours to get your makeup and hair done." You glare at him before picking up the sandwich and digging in. You, Joong and Hwa continue to talk amongst each other while watching the TV before you gather the strength to finally get ready for the night. You turn on your bluetooth speaker, blasting your playlist while you get dressed and get your makeup going. Seonghwa has taken a few pregame shots with you in between, now sipping on a canned cocktail to keep him going while you finish up your makeup and hair. You take one more look at yourself in the mirror, satisfied with the oversized black denim jacket, mini skirt, tank and knee high heeled boots you threw on. Your makeup was simple, but enough to pop.

"Damn." Hongjoong teases, playfully checking you out and flattening his brows with two fingers while Seonghwa rolls his eyes. But, he has to say— he's fucking dying inside because of how fine you look tonight.

So fucking beautiful, and Seonghwa wishes he could have you all to himself.

"Go away." You laugh, walking through a cloud of perfume. "I'm ready!"

"About time." Seonghwa teases. "You look good." He breaks contact as he shuts off your bluetooth speaker and is the first to head out the door.

"Thanks, pichu." You shut off the lights and lock your door. "Do you have the bottle?"

"Make sure to hide that shit in the car, I'm not getting pulled over." Hongjoong says, unlocking his car. You hop into the backseat and tuck the unopened soju bottle aside— keeping it safe until you get to the club.

It's a 20 minute drive before Joong is circling the streets to find a good spot. When he finally gets lucky and finds one just a block down, he reverses into the spot flawlessly before shutting off the car and giving off a deep sigh.

"Have at it." He says, texting San to find out his whereabouts while you and Seonghwa continue to pregame some more and finish the bottle. The alcohol is hitting you quickly tonight, the soju being the cherry on top. Joong tells you San and Wooyoung have parked nearby, giving you all the greenlight to meet them halfway and walk together to the club.

You [drunkly] scream loudly when you see the two; running into their arms and letting them swing you around. You feel happier when you're all together, excited for what the night has to bring. You cling onto Seonghwa without realizing, the group behind you two as you walk side by side while engaging in conversation.

"Seonghwa! Why would you say that!" You and Seonghwa laugh loudly while walking down the street to the club. San can't help but divert his attention to you two ahead; watching as you naturally joke around, laugh and playfully bicker. You cling onto Seonghwa and continue to attach yourself to his hip, and the reality settles for San even more.

He is sad, but it's clear this is where you're supposed to be.

Seonghwa continues to tell you his story, leaning in to tell you delicate details even as you fall in line for the club. San realizes things surely haven't changed, because for you and Hwa, all you see is each other. You both don't ever purposefully make anyone feel left out, but at the end of the day, Hwa was always going to prioritize you and vice versa.

This is your own world and San only plays a little part in it. And that's okay. That's completely okay. You deserved to be happy and that's all he wants for you. All he wants for Hwa.

When security finally checks your IDs and lets your group in, the club is packed from wall to wall and you're having to hold Seonghwa's hand while navigating through the crowd. Hongjoong is behind you, gripping at the belt loop of your skirt to help lead the other two trailing him.

"Aye, over there!" Hongjoong tugs on your belt loop and points at the free bartender towards the other end of the club nodding with his lips while nodding. You take the hint and get Seonghwa to navigate to the free area. Once you're there, you feel like you're able to breathe, being able to spread your arms and move around freely.

"Let's go get some drinks from the bartender over there, it isn't busy." Seonghwa points to the small bar area towards the back end. Your group follows, instantly asking the bartender for a few shots of tequila, whiskey, whatever each chose as their own poison. 

The shots are taken to the neck, and before you know it, you're dancing away on the dance floor with your friends. Wooyoung manages to grab a few dances from cuties nearby, dragging San along to cheer him up and find someone he could possibly have fun with. But, amidst all that and all the numbers he manages to grab, he still finds himself looking for you so he can at least have a dance. 

"Y/N?" San comes to you, cheeks tinted red as his hand  caresses at his jaw. 

"What's wrong, Sannie? Are you okay?" You look up at him with those eyes, your hand on his bicep. You're both clearly drunk out of your minds but jesus, is he having trouble containing himself. 

"Y-yeah." He hiccups. "I just wanted to ask if you'd dance with me?" You giggle and nod.

"Let's go!" You grab his hand and take the initiative. At some point the crowd builds and you're separated from your group— Wooyoung floating somewhere out in the chaos, while Hongjoong and Seonghwa are pulling further and further away. You continue to dance with San though, enjoying every moment and having fun while with him. He keeps up with your rhythm, holding you close but making sure you still have enough freedom to move however you want, have space however you want. But, you continue to work on him and dance along to the music, forgetting any worries for the night.

You dance with San for a good chunk of time before you start searching for Seonghwa, who is no longer nearby. You catch wind of him, but your body decides this is the perfect time to break the seal.

"I need to go to the bathroom." You turn to San and tippy-toe to his ear.

"You okay? Want me to come and wait?"

"No, I'm okay. I'll be back." You give him a small reassuring smile before rushing off to the bathroom and waiting in the tiny line that had formed outside the door. You're in and out within 5 minutes, washing your hands and patting your face down with how stuffy the club had gotten. After handling your business in peace, you realize that Seonghwa and Hongjoong are even more separated than you thought when you exit the bathroom— no longer being able to spot them on the main dance floor, especially due to being inebriated. You finally find Wooyoung and San together, tugging on Wooyoung's sleeve to grab his attention.

"Where's Hwa?"

"Iono!" Wooyoung shrugs. "Last time I checked he was somewhere over there with Joongie." He nods in the far back corner behind you. You give Wooyoung's arm a squeeze to thank him before pushing your way through the crowd towards the potential Hongjoong and Seonghwa spot. When you get there, Hongjoong is definitely nowhere to be found, but Seonghwa is talking to some girl. He's leaning in towards her ear in order for her to hear him, and she laughs at whatever the fuck he's saying. It lowkey kinda irks you, even though you have no reason to be feeling that way. You should be happy Seonghwa is putting himself out there and flirting away at the club. 

Not feeling jealous or envious in the least bit that she is occupying his time and space.

"Hey." You come up to him just as she giggles and playfully flips her hair, turning on her heels to walk away. She gives him one last look before she sways her hips and continues walking towards her friends, all of them squealing over the encounter in the middle of the club. "I see you've been busy." He shrugs.

"That's the girl I met. Makayla." You subtly roll your eyes and tap his chest.

"Okay, well I've been looking for you." You kinda pout.

"What's wrong?" He tilts his head.

"Nothing, I just wanted to hang out with you and I couldn't find you for the longest time." He laughs.

"You were dancing with Sannie, weren't you?" He taps your nose. He says it like it's a light, teasing joke, but deep down, Seonghwa had to step away and get outta that spot. He's not gonna lie, he is relieved you're finally looking for him and finding him. 

"So?" He laughs.

"Well, you found me? Stop pouting. We came here to have fun and you're gonna be with me all night." He gently runs a finger down your bottom lip that is still poking out in a pout. 

"Where'd Joong go?"

"Bathroom." 

"Let me grab San and Woo—" Seonghwa tugs at your hand just as you're about to turn, a small frown on his face. As you look at him, not only do you realize how drunk you still are, but you can also pick up on how drunk Seonghwa is, too. His eyes are red and glazed over, cheeks also tinted with a rosey hue. 

Which, with the way he's looking at you, can't be a good thing. 

This won't end well.

And you truly do not care right now.

"Uh-uh, I thought you wanted to hang out for a bit. Dance with me." He says, pulling you flush against him while his teeth subtly nibble on his bottom lip.

"Hwa." You get all shy and unlike yourself, most definitely from the alcohol and the way he's looking at you up and down. You let him keep you close, beginning to dance against him and go with the beat of the current song blasting through the club. 

To set the record straight first and foremost— it's not like you haven't danced with him before. You have, and those times have been careless, free and fun. You didn't have a care in the world, Seonghwa didn't. It wouldn't last because it was harmless fun before you were onto the next and brushing it off like it was any ordinary thing between you two.

Because it was.

Tonight, it isn't. The air is different, and the energy between you two is supercharged; strong, an incredible pull to each other. The air is extra thick and like no other you've experienced with him. You can't really explain it right now, but with recent events, you just know you want Seonghwa.

Just like he wants you.

So you dance, and you dance. The two of you have pushed to the farthest corner of the club that Hongjoong never seems to return to Seonghwa [or maybe he did and didn't wanna bother] and the two of you are left in your own little world. He's still keeping you close, a tight grip on your hips as he feels every inch, every move against him, doing his best to keep up with the rhythm, you.

And god, is it turning you on.

You turn to face him when the song transitions into the next, finding that Seonghwa can't take his eyes off of you. He stares through his hooded lids while he rests against the metal railing, hands still at your hips while your face is only inches away. You watch as his eyes shoot down to your lips, back up to your eyes as if he's begging, pleading, you to make the first move. Because that will be the confirmation he needs— that will open up a whole new box that Seonghwa had been waiting to open, break the lock to a door he had been waiting to walk through. But also, he's too scared to make the first move. Too scared he'd be overthinking, that you're just drunk and you wouldn't mean it—

Suddenly, the impact of your lips crashing into his quickly pulls him out of his thoughts. Instead of breaking away at that moment, the kiss instantly becomes heated, deep. And Seonghwa has to forcibly pull himself off of you because even though he wants this so, so badly, it'll ruin everything if you truly didn't mean anything by it.

"What're you doing, Y/N?" He breaks away and leans towards your ear. His voice is husky and deep, loud enough to barely be heard over the music.

"I can't kiss you?"

"Not if you don't mean it." He bites onto his bottom lip when he pulls back to look at you, hands still resting on your waist.

"Who said I didn't mean it, Hwa?" You say in his ear, shivers running down his spine when he feels your lips graze your jaw. He probably should think about this, really think about this, but he can't. He's just as fucked up as you are, and he's feeling a bit selfish, a tad bit horny. You're positioned in between his legs looking beautiful as ever even under the dim club lights.

He can't help himself.

He cups your cheek as he pulls you back in, kissing you with so much more fervor. He hears you let out a content sigh in between kisses, pressing your body up against him as you grip the sides of his shirt.

"Driving me crazy." He says, pulling back and letting his nose lightly glide over yours. The both of you are slightly panting, lips swollen from all the intense kisses just shared. You'd do it over and over again, though. And if it were up to you, you'd take this home to explore a little further.

You want Seonghwa.

"Am I?" You continue to tease.

"Y/N." He gives you a look. "You have no idea what you do to me." His voice is still husky, deep; vibrating through your ears and sending tingles down your spine. He leans in for another deep, last kiss; biting onto your bottom lip and tugging back before letting it go. He dips to your jaw, to your neck— painting the surface with feathery kisses and tiny, subtle bites.

"Hwa, we're still out." You giggle and gently tap his chest. 

"Right." He sheepishly smiles and continues to hold you.

"I'm gonna grab some water real quick. We should try and find everyone when I come back."

"Let me just come with you." He grabs at your hand.

"I'll be fine, pichu." You smile toothlessly at him. "I'll be back before you know it. Try to text one of the boys! Save our space!"

"Fine." Seonghwa slightly whines as he lets go of your hand and watches you walk off. At this point, San, Wooyoung and Hongjoong find him without Seonghwa having to lift a finger— both San and Wooyoung carrying two glasses in their hands.

"Aye! Finally fucking found your ass. Where's baby girl? Got more shots." Wooyoung looks around for your familiar figure.

"She went to get water."

"I got it right here. Tequila water." Wooyoung snorts at his failed attempt of a joke.

"You're an idiot." Seonghwa shakes his head and takes the glass, holding onto it while looking around the room. It hasn't been long, but he's hoping you haven't been swallowed by the crowd and are at least at the bar requesting for water.

"Let's wait for Y/N." San adds.

"Sounds good with me." Wooyoung shrugs.

5 minutes quickly turns into 10 and you're still not back from your water run. Seonghwa can't help but be worried, eyes now frantically scanning every inch of the room to catch any glimpse of you.

"Damn, that's a long water break. Should we just go to the bar and find her?" Whatever Wooyoung's saying is completely drowned out by Seonghwa because he finally spots you, and he's fuming. Everything in the club seems to drown out, and it almost feels like white noise. Hwa finds you at the opposite corner of the bar, and of course, Song Mingi would be the person you're occupied with. That's why you haven't returned, of fucking course. He continues to watch from his spot, feeling unsettled from the entire situation. It starts off pretty normal, until Mingi starts whispering near your ear; doing his best to pull you close, keep you close. He sees you gently rejecting Mingi's touches, shoving off his hand and pushing his arm away— clearly making you uncomfortable. Seonghwa finds his free hand balled into a fist, already boiling with anger at how Mingi doesn't read any of your signs.

Instead, continues to put you through it because he's your ex. He thinks he can get away with it. He knows he can.

"I'll be back." Seonghwa says taking the shot in one swift motion, setting his empty glass aside on the high table nearby. San furrows his brows as he watches him leave, following his trail over to the opposite end of the club.

"Oh shit." San says under his breath, and Hongjoong is confused.

"What?"

"Mingi." He points over to the other side of the club and Joong lets out a sigh, followed by a heavy—

"Fuck."

As Seonghwa comes from behind, Mingi is the first to spot him and smirks. You don't really notice until Mingi has stopped trying to get close to you, turning over your shoulder to see your own bestfriend shooting daggers his way.

"What's up, Seonghwa?" The way Mingi says his name is so fucking annoying, Hwa can't help but roll his eyes. Mingi leaves out his hand in hopes of Hwa taking it in a friendly dap. All Seonghwa does is look at it before returning his attention back up to him, then back to you.

"Come on. Let's go." Hwa mutters as tries to gently drag you away by the wrist, but Mingi stops him.

"Woah. We were just having a conversation."

"Back up." Seonghwa steps in front of you and tries to get Mingi to back up, creating some distance between you two.

"Kinda rude for someone to intervene when they have no business to."

"Didn't know that required you to put your hands on her."

"Seonghwa." You warn, but he doesn't listen.

"Of course." Mingi laughs and licks his lips before closing in on the distance, clearly drunk and trying to be belligerent by provoking Seonghwa. His face is only a couple of inches away from Seonghwa's, but he isn't doing anything to back down from whatever the fuck Mingi is trying to start. Because yeah, he's drunk too, and this is you they were talking about. "Wanna be all high and mighty now? Be the knight in shining armor you always tried to be?" Mingi snickers.

"Back away from me, Mingi." Seonghwa warns lowly. "Step the fuck away."

"Or what? The fuck are you gonna do about it, Seonghwa?" Mingi mutters. "Think she'll finally give into you?" He chuckles pathetically. "Finally give you what you've been wanting for years? I know you've always been mad because you couldn't bag her when I did. Couldn't touch her, fuck her like—" Seonghwa pushes him with so much power that Mingi stumbles and fall back on a high table nearby, knocking over a glass as his arm hits the table. Mingi recovers quickly though, glaring at him as he pushes Seonghwa back and tries to land a punch on him. Mingi successfully lands it when Hwa fails to dodge, cutting the corner of his lip after the impact. They continue to go at it, causing people to step back and watch the chaos ensue from around.

"Hwa! Get off! Stop!" You scream, trying to pry him off. San, Hongjoong and Wooyoung rush over, both San and Joong having to separate the two until the bouncers come and kick your group and Mingi's group out of the club.

"Jesus fucking christ." Wooyoung glares at the bouncer and throws his hands up. "Okay, okay, we're going!"

"Let me catch you, fucking punk!" You hear Mingi yell as him and his group walk down the opposite block, the bouncers still keeping an eye on your groups to make sure nothing occurs outside of the club and requires police activity. You walk a few steps before you push Seonghwa by the shoulder, forcing him to look at you as he tends to his lip.

"What the fuck did you do that for?!" You look at him and Seonghwa's almost taken aback by your reaction. 

What do you even mean?

He did this to protect you and keep you away from that asshole, but you don't even seem the least bit concerned about him.

At all.

"W-what?" Seonghwa looks at you, his chest rising as he tries to calm himself from all the adrenaline and anger. 

"You didn't have to do that!" You yell, on the verge of tears. You're angry at Seonghwa, but you're angry because you hate seeing him hurt. You hate that he intervened, you hate that he's hurt because of the fight. You're angry, you're hurt, and everything is coming out all wrong. "I was fine, you didn't have to get in between, Seonghwa!"

"The hell you mean I didn't?!"

"Hwa." Hongjoong calls for him, eyeing the bouncers nearby.

"He wasn't doing anything!"

"Here you go again! Be serious for once, Y/N. He's a fucking asshole! When are you going to realize that?!"

♡ FLASHBACK

"Yeah, whatever. Fuck you, Song Mingi." You walk out of his room, aggressively wiping the tears streaming down your cheeks.

"Fucking crazy. Get the hell outta here!" He yells from his room, causing you to flip him off as you walk down the hallway and out of his front door. 

Song Mingi was a certified asshole.

Time and time again, your ex-boyfriend of 2 years proves to you that you just aren't shit to him. Two years, then an on-and-off again situation where Mingi just couldn't commit to you again — but he needed you to feel wanted, to feel like he had a safety blanket to fall on, to feel like he could string you along until that very last moment he couldn't. He'd whisper sweet nothings whenever he saw you late nights; no longer leaving his home to go on dates, but to stay wrapped up in his sheets. Telling you things he knows will make you weak, thing he knows will make you stay a little longer. All these years of this back and forth game you played with your ex, you had no idea why you couldn't just learn and do better for yourself instead of letting him reel you in, making you think he genuinely wanted and needed you.

There was no one like you.

You, so perfect.

You, made just for him. 

You should've known better.

This was no one else's fault but your own. You let him in, you let him in, you let him in. And you fall for it every single time, knowing you were never going to be his one and only again, knowing you weren't the only one he was keeping around. But for whatever sick reason, you wanted to believe you could get him to change again. You wanted to believe you meant more to him, that your history meant more to him. But that's all it was— wishful thinking.

Empty words built on shaky foundation.

So here you are, after he had called you saying he had missed you and wished you were near him. Here you are, crying everything you have left in you after giving him what he wanted. Here you are, after hearing that this wasn't anything to Mingi, that you weren't anything to Mingi. Here you are, broken to pieces, empty, soulless.

Again and again.

"Fucking asshole." You groan to yourself, tears streaming steadily as you head down the street from his building to a random corner. You sit on the sidewalk, kicking aggressively at the rocks beneath your feet. You give one last good grunt out of frustration before you rest your arms on your knees, head hanging low to let all your tears fall freely.

You had been crying so hard that you hadn't realized a car had pulled up in the empty spot near the curb you sat on, car being turned off before someone steps out and shut their door. You suddenly feel a hand on your back and you instantly ease up, knowing exactly who that touch belongs to.

"Hwa." You look at him, watery eyes blood shot red. He can't help but feel sorry for you, you're aware. You can tell by the way his brows soften when he sees how torn up you are, you can tell by the way his lips poke out because he isn't really sure what else he can say at this point. He shouldn't have to say anything anymore. He shouldn't be here—

You shouldn't be here.

"I told you to stay put." He teasingly scolds you, but you continue to look at him with that sad, pathetic look. "Let's get home, hm?" He follows up, free hand coming to wipe your tears away. You nod, allowing Seonghwa to help you up and into the car. He doesn't really say anything when he gets in and buckles his seatbelt, but he glances over at you, watches as you sink in the passenger's seat and look out the window.

He hates it, and he wishes he could do more to take this away from you. To keep you away from Mingi, to take away your pain completely.

It's not the first time Seonghwa's had to come get you. He's almost losing track of how many times you've called him crying because you wanted to leave a party after seeing Mingi flirting around [even though he'd deny it time and time again]. The times you've called because he left you at parties to hang out with other people, other girls. The times Mingi has disrespectfully called you out your name mid-argument, gaslighting you into thinking you were in the wrong.

Seonghwa's only hope is that one day, you'll finally get tired of your ex and move on. Leaving Mingi where he belongs, especially when he couldn't even give you the proper respect. Mingi's only reasoning for breaking up with you was that he couldn't do this anymore, he couldn't do the relationship anymore. He just couldn't, and you knew what he truly meant— it just wasn't you anymore. 

And for months and months, you sat there wondering what you could've done differently, or if there was a sign that you had missed. Every time he called, it had you thinking he must've realized he couldn't do this without you, that he was wrong and that he did want this after all.

Nope.

He made you believe it for a night, yes. Then, he'd go back to reminding you what you actually meant to you— that you were delusional, that you kept forcing things between him. That you knew what this was.

You should've known what this was.

♡ END

"He wasn't even doing anything! Not shit you needed to step in between for! He was literally—"

"Oh my fucking god." Seonghwa groans. "And you're still defending him!" He yells, his brows furrowed when he turns to look at you. He feels like he can barely breathe due to the anger surging through his veins, plus the betrayal he's feeling with the way you're delivering your responses. The way you look at him. The way you're keeping your distance.

After everything, it still seems like you're taking Mingi's side. You always find a way to defend him one way or another, even if you don't realize it.

Seonghwa does, and it hurts.

"I'm not!" Your tone is louder. "I could've taken care of it myself, he wasn't doing anything!" You repeat.

"He was making you uncomfortable, Y/N! All up in your space, trying to force you to do shit when you didn't want it. Yet, you wanna tell me he wasn't doing anything?"

"I'm just saying it wasn't that big of a deal, Hwa! I could've handled it!"

"Really? I doubt that." 

"Wow, are you serious?" You say, hurt. But, he scoffs and continues because you need to hear this. 

"I am. You always let him push you around and walk all over you. I thought by now you'd be smart enough to realize that you're worth much more than that." His tone rises again. "Why do you always let him do this to you? You're so used to the way Mingi treats you and you do nothing to change that. You always let him in. You're so brainwashed and you literally have no respect for yourself, it's fucking sad."

"You know nothing about our relationship." You're crying and angrily wiping away at your tears, unsure of how else to act, what else to say. Sure, you and Seonghwa have gotten into petty fights and arguments. Mostly over dumb shit, but nothing ever this serious. You know he cares, and he means well. But this anger, this seemingly pent up frustration— you aren't entirely sure where it was stemming from. You have never seen him act this way and quite frankly, this part of Seonghwa is very difficult to navigate. 

You've never had to.

"Yeah, because I wasn't the one rescuing you in the middle of the night every time he decided to throw your ass out, right? Because I wasn't the one having to calm you down when you were crying? Because I wasn't the one whose had to pick up the pieces every time he broke your heart to try and chase after somebody else? When he says all those shitty things about you that get to your head? When he'd fucking leave you stranded?" He shakes his head. "I'm sure I know nothing about your relationship." The two of you are staring at each other, both at a loss for words after everything has been laid out on the table. Seonghwa is the first to break, having enough of this bullshit and not wanting to say anything else. Mostly because he still cares about you and your feelings, and it's breaking his heart to see you crying over him this time. "I'm done here. I'm sure San will take you home."

"Whatever, fuck you." You respond before turning on your heel to walk away. As soon as you've created enough distance between you and Seonghwa, you find yourself stopping in your path to sob into your hands. It isn't until a few minutes later that you feel hands on your arms, a familiar touch that belongs to somebody else dear to you—

"Hey, let's get you home." San says, with Wooyoung behind him. You can't see much due to the tears in your eyes, but you can tell it's Hongjoong walking alongside of Seonghwa, making sure he's okay and pushing him along towards the car.

"He'll be okay. Just needs some time to breathe." Wooyoung adds, holding out his arm so that you can slip yourself right underneath while walking to San's car. "You alright?" Wooyoung pouts, wiping some of the straggling tears escaping your bottom lids.

"Mhm." You lie, just to keep the walk quiet and peaceful. And it is for a bit, even as you sit in the backseat of San's car. The only thing filling the space is the music playing through bluetooth— Wooyoung's playlist, actually. San peeks over at you through the rearview mirror, feeling bad for how everything went down. But, he gets it. He gets Seonghwa. You do deserve better. Mingi should never get an ounce of your attention after how he's treated you— esp with Seonghwa being here all along.

"You know he just really cares about you, right?" San breaks the silence. 

"I know." You mumble, head leaning back against the seat while you look out the window. "I've just never seen him act that way."

"It's Mingi." Wooyoung adds. "Can I be honest?" He turns to look at you with doe eyes. "I'm not trying to attack you, I promise. We see both sides." You nod quietly. "It's hard when you have history with someone, and it's hard to undo bad habits you've learned in the relationship. We know Mingi was someone special to you, but he hasn't been good for you for a long time. And there's no changing that man at this point. If it's anybody, Seonghwa knows all of that very well, especially when he's been by your side throughout everything." Wooyoung lets out a small sigh. "I'm certain he's hurt because even after everything he's done to be there, Mingi's actions seem to be dismissible. And his actions get overlooked."

"Woo, I'm not even dismissing Mingi's actions."

"Okay, baby girl. You're not. But, I think Seonghwa would have appreciated if you were there for him tonight instead of getting upset. He just wants to keep you safe."

"His goal has always been to keep you safe." San adds softly, driving towards your place.

"I didn't want Hwa to get hurt, h-he didn't have to do that." You sniffle, leaning your head against the window.

"You know he's not gonna sit back and let that shit happen." Woo adds, also leaning his head back against the headrest— a small headache forming after tonight's events. When you finally get home, San and Wooyoung offer to stay the night to keep you company, but you politely decline. They walk you to the door and give you big hugs, asking you a million times if you're sure about being alone tonight.

And you quietly nod.

Because there's nothing else you'd rather be than alone tonight. You want to be alone in your own space, crying alone in your bed; head against the pillow, tucked underneath your sheets.

You want to be alone.

Meanwhile, Seonghwa is struggling. He isn't sure what to do, hates not having you by his side. He doesn't know what's gonna happen from here on out, what will be left of you two after all this.

From the kiss, to Mingi, to the argument.

It's so fucked up.

Seonghwa hadn't even realized how much of his life was dedicated to you— how much of his life was just you. Even when he tried so hard for it to not be you.

"Fuck!" Seonghwa groans and slams his hand against a brick wall in passing. 

"Aye, come on now." Hongjoong clicks his teeth and pushes him away from the wall, urging him to continue down the car. "Don't hurt yourself."

"I swear to God if I ever see Mingi—"

"You won't. He should know better, and hopefully Y/N does, too." Hwa lets out a hefty sigh as he swings Joong's door open and plops into the passenger's seat. Not much is said between the two, even as Hongjoong drives off to his place. Seonghwa rests his head back and shuts his eyes, equally angry, yet dizzy from the alcohol still running through him. 

"I don't know what to do, Joong. I can't keep doing this just for it to get me nowhere."

"You two really need to fucking talk." Hongjoong does a slight head tilt as he continues to drive to Seonghwa's place. "I don't mean to make this worse, but I saw you two." Seonghwa looks at him before resting his head back against the headrest again. "I didn't come so I could give you guys some space."

"Fuck." Hwa repeats again with a heavy sigh. "Yeah, I don't know where this leaves us."

"Give it a few days or whatever, but you need to figure this out with her." Seonghwa doesn't speak anymore, mainly because he's starting to feel nauseous after the adrenaline, the alcohol. He's doing his best to keep it together. But, on top of that, he has a ton of thoughts swirling in his mind— he doesn't really know how to tackle them or where to even start. In the end, he's afraid of what this will do to your relationship.

You and him.

In the end, he just doesn't know anymore.

This is the longest Seonghwa hasn't talked to you. It's been a little over two weeks— usually, the two of you would break in a few hours, not wanting to be without the other for long.

But this, this was different.

Of course, everything felt awful. You both felt awkward about having to be the first person to break the silence, both remembering that night and how heated it had gotten.

The kiss.

The argument.

Everything about the situation felt like doom, chaos. A whole whirlwind of emotions and feelings overpowering each other, threatening to burst at the seams.

Seonghwa had thought long and hard about this, though. For him, he decided he just needed to step back and give himself a breather. Let him do things for himself, carry on with the mentality that he'd finally put himself first. So, that's what he's been trying to do. It doesn't mean it doesn't suck, though. It does. It's terrible. He's gotten so used to having you by his side, so used to running to you first about anything and everything.

He's had to bite his tongue when he finally nailed that fucking uni pasta recipe he had been experimenting for years. Because he wanted to tell you he did so, wanted to invite you over so you could be the first to taste it;

Oh well.

His heart sinks when the realization hits him again, and he's having to give himself a 'lil pep talk to push through. He can't be the person to say sorry first, he can't be the first to break— not when he didn't do anything wrong. He needs to stop apologizing when he's not in the wrong or when he feels bad. He's given you way too much of that, and this time around, he wasn't going to.

He needs you to be the first to break. Needs you to be the one to say sorry. Needs you to show him you understand and that you would never intentionally hurt him, especially over Song Mingi.

He's still counting the days. Maybe he'll have to keep doing so. Gives him time to himself, some peace. Let's him know how much you'd truly work to salvage your relationship with him.

Your own bestfriend before anything.

Because he knows he'd do anything to keep you by his side. He would. It just sucks that he doesn't know if you would do the same. He can't confidently say the same.

But, you absolutely would.  Days and nights have passed and you could barely sleep, always questioning what Seonghwa was doing and if he was even thinking about you. This was on you, though. You knew it. You just didn't know how to say it to him and it's definitely a learning lesson for you— all in all, you wanna be better and you wanna be better for him. You miss Seonghwa a lot. You truly didn't know what it meant to be missing your other half until now;

Empty, alone.

Cold.

You sigh as you toss the pillow aside and sit up in bed, checking the time on the clock. 

3am.

You couldn't sleep, and you freeze. You freeze because you have no one to call anymore. So you turn, and turn. No longer able to find sleep for the rest of the night.

When the sun finally rises, you force yourself to get up to go for a run and grab a good cup of coffee and breakfast. It was your day off, but you thought you could at least take advantage of being up early; take advantage of soaking in the morning sun.

You were tired of sulking and being in bed. Being cooped up at home when you weren't at work.

You throw on your leggings and matching sports bra, grabbing an oversized zip-up to shield you from the morning cold. Yaya is already working in the kitchen, so you quickly let her know you'll be out for a run— rushing over to your car to avoid any questioning this early in the day. You drive over to a lake near town that has a 4.5 mile trail around its perimeter. Since it's still early, the trail isn't crowded with people; perfect enough for you to get a good 3 mile run in. You hadn't ran in a minute, but 3 miles seemed to be a breeze when there was a lot of pent up frustration and anger you needed to release. Of course, you were beyond tired at the end, but it wasn't anything coffee and a good pastry couldn't fix.

At the cafe, you grab a seat right outside of the entrance to enjoy your breakfast, scrolling through social media per usual. You click into your messages for god knows why, knowing Seonghwa hadn't messaged you.

He hasn't.

Why would he?

You sigh, the sadness now returning. You quickly clean up and toss your trash into the bin inside the restaurant before grabbing your cup of iced coffee and heading home. Once you get home, you throw your clothes into the laundry and take a hot, steamy shower, letting your worries go momentarily.

And then, you nap. Exhaustion finally hitting you from the lack of sleep.

Post-nap, you take time to clean around your suite and hang out with Yaya, watching a few episodes of her current favorite show. You help Yaya with a few things around the house, taking the time to bring her to the grocery store just right before the sun sets. Even though Yaya can tell something is wrong, she doesn't bother you or question you like you'd expect— probably leaving it for Soyeon to do the heavy lifting. You do appreciate that you don't have to dwell on it while spending time with her, though. 

Soyeon, Charli and Junseo had visited the past days, and although Charli was able to make you smile and laugh, Soyeon could also easily tell something was wrong without you having to say anything at all. Your demeanor had changed, you seemed to be snapping quicker than usual. Attitude wasn't so bright and happy. Seonghwa hadn't been around, but the other boys had quickly stopped by just to hang out.

You dimmed it down to a 'little fight between you and Hwa,' but Soyeon knew better than that, and she was hoping she'd be able to get it out of you soon. This wasn't like you, and it wasn't like Seonghwa to not come around for days on end.

This wasn't just a little fight.

"Hey." She calls you when you're settled back in your humble abode, and although you don't mind hearing from your boss-slash-cousin, you could do without any work-related conversations right now.

"What's up? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm leaving the restaurant soon. Yoongi and Junseo are going to close up. It's gotten quiet. Can I stop by? I have some food for you."

"Sure. Where's Chacha?"

"With Junseo's parents."

"Mm." You hum. "Okay."

"Okay, I'll be there in about 30 minutes or so. I'm just gonna wrap a few things up here."

"Sounds good." You hang up the call, a bit relieved that your cousin [not your cousin on boss-mode] is coming over. 

When she arrives, it's about 7:45pm. She quietly knocks before announcing her presence— stepping out of her shoes before joining you on your living room floor in front of the coffee table and TV. For a good part of the conversation, you indulge in some of the chicken she brought over, listening to her update you about the restaurant and some drama on his side of the family. She asks if there's anything new going on with you or the boys, and you simply shrug.

This is definitely her way of poking at you, and you're very close to cracking because who else can you open up to about this?

No one, and at this point, you need to. You need the reassurance.

"Are you sure nothing's up? To be honest, I know something's bothering you, and I know this wasn't just a 'little fight' between you and Hwa." She forms air quotes. That's the moment you do crack, tears welling in your eyes when you revisit that night. You tell Soyeon everything and confide in her, giving her more details about your dinner with San, to dancing with Seonghwa and kissing him, to Mingi and their fight. You tell her it's been about two weeks since you've spoken and you know Seonghwa is waiting for you to make the first move. 

You tell her how you've started to realize your feelings for Seonghwa after everything and how incredibly terrified you are of them.

"I don't know what to do, Soyeon. He probably hates me."

"Just go over there and talk to him, Y/N. What are you waiting for? You know he's waiting for you to take initiative, and you should this time. This is all you." You sigh, bottom lip trembling as you begin to cry. 

"I know."

"You know Seonghwa the best. It's so obvious how much he likes you and adores you after all this time. Why are you so afraid?"

"I know, I know." You sniffle. "I just am, Soyeon. I'm afraid of getting hurt, I'm afraid of Seonghwa realizing this isn't what he expected. I'm afraid of Seonghwa." You cry a bit harder and Soyeon is holding you close, rubbing your back as you lean against her shoulder. "I'm scared of this ruining us completely. What if we do get together and things don't pan out the way we expected? I'm so scared of losing him completely that I just don't know where I lie in all of this despite my feelings for him."

"You can't be afraid about every little thing, Y/N. I know it's scary, and life hasn't been entirely nice to you. But, this is your bestfriend. You can't just sit around and brush it under the rug when you know this is something you two need to discuss. Regardless of what happens, Seonghwa will never let you go. You two have been through so much together, he would never wanna do life without you by his side. Never." She continues to reassure you, giving you the push you need to get yourself together and just face it.

You loved Seonghwa, and it was time you looked beneath the surface.

Soyeon didn't stay too long after the two of you finish eating last night— turning the conversation into something more lighthearted after you cried and thanked her for being there for her. Her reassurance worked so much that you're ready to tackle the morning bright and early, throwing on some clothes to head over to Seonghwa's place. After Soyeon left, you called Wooyoung and asked what time Seonghwa's shift was for tomorrow. He snorted and told you it was 10am and asked what you were up to. You let Wooyoung know about your talk with Soyeon and that you missed him, finally throwing the stupid shit aside to just try and talk to him about that night.

To apologize, to make things right.

To tell him that you love him.

You keep it casual and comfy, throwing on some black and white wide-leg track pants, a crop tank and a baggy grey zip-up hoodie. You throw on your shoes, swiftly grab your keys and crossbody bag, jogging out to your car with a quick 'good morning' yell to Yaya from the side of the house. As you drive over to Seonghwa's apartment, you are equally filled with anxiety, nervousness and adrenaline. You're ready to put this behind you, but you're especially ready to talk to Seonghwa again. See him. Hug him. 

Keep him close, never let him stray far again.

You pull into a guest lot, shutting off your car and wondering if you should've brought over some coffee, breakfast, anything, to make this a bit less awkward.

"Fuck." You mutter to yourself as you shake the thoughts from your head; no time for overthinking while you're running on limited time. You jog up the steps and up to Seonghwa's apartment, hesitating when you get to the front door before you finally bring your knuckles to the surface to give a couple of loud knocks. It takes a second before you hear rustling behind the door, Seonghwa clearing his throat before he swings the door open in a white tank and sweats. Your eyes immediately meet his, but he looks surprised, caught off guard even.

But, caught off guard in a sense that he's been caught doing something he shouldn't be doing.

You don't understand it until you see someone in the back try to slip by unnoticed, but she's wearing Seonghwa's shirt. Your heart immediately sinks to your gut and it makes you feel queasy. It shouldn't, but you hate to say it does.

It's probably Makayla.

It's too fucking late.

"Oh." Is all you say, and Seonghwa feels his heart break to a million pieces when he sees the look on your face. You're trying your hardest not to show how much it hurts you, but he knows you. He knows you well, that's for damn sure.

"Y/N—"

"It's good, I didn't meant to interrupt, I'm sorry— I'll catch you later." You ramble and rush down the steps, hurrying away from the apartment to prevent Seonghwa from seeing the tears streaming down your cheeks. 

This was your fault anyway, who else was there to blame?

"Y/N!" Seonghwa calls out one last time, but you're already running to your car. Very obvious that you're wiping away at your face as you sink into the driver's seat and pull out of the spot without turning back. "Fuck." Seonghwa groans to himself, and Makayla kinda just watches everything unfold right in front of her eyes. He runs a hand through his long, black locks, shutting the door quietly behind him as he turns to her and gives her a sympathetic smile. 

"I'm sorry."

"That was Y/N?"

"Uh, yeah. My bestfriend." He looks at her, and she can already tell. She can already tell that it's you, and there is more to it than that. He loves you, and it's very, very obvious.

"You love her, don't you?" He lets out a breath and shrugs. He doesn't say anything for a bit, rather looks at her with those big doe-eyes before she catches him subtly nodding and diverting his attention to the floor.

"I'm so, so sorry, Makayla. I really am." What the fuck else can he say? He must look so fucked up right now; having taken her out the night before and let her spend the night after fumbling in the sheets. He was curious to see if Makayla would be the door to a new path, something that'll help him move forward. He had hope. After this morning's events, that clearly wasn't going to be the case and he wasn't going to lie about it.

"Don't be." She gives him a small, toothless smile. Because although it does suck, she's been there before and she'd hate for Seonghwa to miss out on the person he truly wants to be with. "You should really talk to her before it's too late."

♡ FLASHBACK | EARLY COLLEGE

You're on Seonghwa's back as he trails behind the group, walking up the path to the view of the city behind campus. Hongjoong, San, Wooyoung and a few other heads had wanted to go on a late night walk— the goal being the view at the end for everyone to just sit and admire. At first, you didn't feel like going with a bunch of obnoxious boys. But, you had been cooped up in your room doing nothing but studying all day. It sounded better knowing Seonghwa would be around and being in the crisp, night air. 

Seonghwa continues to walk up the slightly steep hill before spotting the view just down the street, you jumping off his back as soon as it becomes clear in sight.

"Hwa! Look at it!" You squeal, running to one of the free areas near the fence to get a good picture of the view. "It's so pretty! Look!" 

"Yeah, it is." He catches his breath as he walks over next to you. Trekking that hill is not for the weak.

"Oh my god, look at all those lights. It's so beautiful. I didn't realize how flat the town is." You're mainly thinking out loud, saying it to yourself, but Seonghwa chuckles next to you and quietly nods. "I think I can see our favorite convenient store from here, and our favorite spot to get jajangmyeon."

"How would you know, they're little blobs right now."

"How would you not know, Seonghwa? Are you a fraud? Do you even like those places like you say you do?" He snorts.

"Relax, Nancy Drew. It was just a question."

"I just know." You say so matter-of-fact-ly that Seonghwa smiles to himself while you continue to look out at the view. "The stars are so pretty tonight, weather is so perfect. Ugh. We should do this more often." You continue to go on and Seonghwa just likes listening to you talk. He always has, always will.

Everything about you was his favorite.

"I— what?" You look up and see Seonghwa still staring at you before he lets out a deep chuckle.

"Nothing."

"Pichu, what is it?" He looks at you again, and it's obvious he wants to tell you something but is preventing himself from spilling it out onto the table for whatever reason. You turn towards him and cross your arms, tapping your foot to wait for his response.

"Nothing! I'm just— nothing."

"Park Seonghwa."

"I-I—" He sighs. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm glad you ended up going on the walk with us. I wanted you here."

"Aw, you little sap." You pinch his bicep and he yelps. "Are you sure that's all?" He nods.

"Thank you, Y/N. For everything." He ruffles your hair and you can't help but pout at. "You know? For being a pain in the ass bestfriend."

"I beg to differ, but you're welcome." You chuckle. "Always us, right pichu?" You playfully punch him on the bicep before returning your attention back to the view.

And he'll forever remember this as the first time he tried to confess his feelings for you.

♡ END

♡ taglist: @hwasbabygirl @fairyofhueningkai @chngbnwf @tinyteezer @everyonewooeverywhere @pearbunny @mxnsxngie @starhwahwa @woosmaid @yeosangsbbg @jycas @lyracarvahall @huachengsbestie01 @asjkdk @bintificreads @interweab @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs

[notjustjavierpena]

The idea of javier and reader being a baby making factory is so 🤪🤪

Trying (Drabble)

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: Actually! My idea of them is that they don’t do super well with their attempts at starting/expanding the family. Which is why I think that they accidentally made Sebastian; they didn’t think they were super fertile and got a lil sloppy. It has always taken a good chunk of time to get reader pregnant during the times they were actively trying but fate often has it that when you stop focusing on it, it becomes easy.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)

Word count: 500 words

Tags: Not explicit thoughts of infertility, trying for a bebe, soft!javi, the inherent suffering of being a person who has a womb, angst, hurt/comfort

Trying

“One line again,” you say quietly and try to hide your voice trembling as Javier leans against the bathroom sink. He reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose, letting out a frustrated sigh as the reality of not being lucky this time around either sets in. You shift on the toilet seat, “Really thought this was it this time.”

It’s been four months now without any luck.

“It’ll happen, baby,” he says without sounding overly optimistic. In fact, he sounds like he is in doubt, on the verge of giving up, and the tone of his voice makes you rise from your seat without a word. You twirl the pregnancy test in your hands for a brief moment before aggressively, and with exasperation, throwing it into the sink and pushing past your husband.

You start to cry the second that he cannot see you anymore. It’s big, heavy, and self-pitying tears that are accompanied by sobs as you walk into the kitchen with fast steps. You place both your palms on the counter, not caring about not having washed them yet, feeling stupid for being in this stupid house with two stupid spare bedrooms that you can’t help seeing as stupid nurseries.

Behind you, Javier says your name so softly that you heave for breath. You can only stammer your response, “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Javier asks. You hear him come up behind you, so you turn to face him. Your face is tear-streaked, nose as well as mouth are puffy and red.

“The one thing my body is supposed to be good at doing and it’s not working. Probably won’t even be a good mom either,” your sniffles are filled with frustration, a fresh teardrop escaping as you tear yourself down in front of him.

“No, no, baby, no,” Javier shakes his head, tuts gently, and moves to cup your teary face. He wipes a few drops away with his thumbs, and you help by catching a few that threaten to drip off your chin, “It’ll happen. Think about how happy that’ll make us.”

“And if it doesn’t?” You know it’s a worst-case scenario, but admittedly it would be easier if people would only just talk about the struggles of getting pregnant. There is never talk about it not being a bed of roses, that it takes time for some couples. It’s always so fucking romantic and whoopsies, we’re having a baby.

“It will,” he stresses, holding your gaze while smiling gently, “Pero sí no, then we’ll figure it out. Maybe we’ll have our own Olivia like Connie and Steve.”

“Okay,” you reach up to hold onto his wrists, closing your eyes to steady your mind. He rests his forehead against yours.

“Okay,” he repeats, “And you’ll be the greatest momma in the world.”

You chuckle whilst still having tears in your eyes, “Okay.”

“Okay,” he chuckles too, “Now I think we need to wash your pee fingers.”

.

.

If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[tonyboneysblog]

ACCIDENTAL NAB P3

parings: thief!hawks x princess!reader

word count: 1.1k

warnings: none

notes: PART THREE YALL! this was going to be posted yesterday but we went into a school lockdown🤪

summary: thief!hawks steals you away and takes you far from your home! On accident…

Part 2: ACCIDENTAL NAB P2

“wakey wakey, princess..”

you recognize the voice, it’s hawks, you can feel the early sun settling into your skin.

“mph…” you groggily let out.

He giggles softly, “cmon, early bird gets the worm.”

“let me sleep more, the sun just came up…” you say quietly.

something’s laying on you, it feels heavy but it’s warm. You had already guessed it wasn’t hawks since he sounded too far away so you just assumed it was the blanket- until the blanket hit you.

“Ow- what was that for?!” Your eyes open quickly to see a mischievous hawks staring back at you.

“Had to get you up somehow.”

You look behind him, Dabi and Tokoyami are still sleeping, so really there was no point in waking you up either than just wanting to annoying you with his squawking.

“Go annoy someone else.” You say bluntly.

“Hmm, nah I don’t think so.”

“why’re you annoying me”

“why’re you so mean?”

you look away slightly at the comment, it didn’t hurt you but no one ever called you mean..except for him.

“My sisters think I’m great.”

“well your sisters aren’t here, are they?”

“I wonder whose fault that is?”

hawks laughs at your banter while you just stare at him with a stern look, the one you used when your sister broke some type of plate while ‘’trying’’ to help the maids.

“Maybe if you were nicer to me than I’d let you get more beauty rest.”

“it’s hard to be nice”

“Why’s that?” He cocks his head into the pillow more.

you stay silent for a moment, “I don’t know.”

you close your eyes. It’s quite, maybe if he stopped talking you could drift away into sleeps kind, warm arms.

“That’s fine, you’ll have to figure it one day thought if you’re gonna be the queen.” he says softly.

“yea” is the only thing you utter after.

you yawn loudly, still tired, the suns starting to hurt your eyes and it feels like it’s getting to hot under the covers. At least they’re soft…

your covers move again slightly, you assume it’s just hawks just get off the bed but the weight never shifts

you open your eyes again but instead of the soft white it’s the same beautiful red as hawks…avian wings.

You think he’d say something about your staring but he stays quiet, thankfully.

you’d like to pet them, they look soft- but, it feels like the same as if someone just randomly petted your dog without asking. It’s your dog so why touch it without the ask?

So you just stare, which is arguably more weird than touching…

They start twitching slightly- is he nervous? you’d assume he gets tons of looks since there so large and bright.

“wish you had a pair of your own, huh?” He says.

“I like them, only good thing about you.”

“Well aren’t you discourteous?”

“I’m surprised you know that word, bird brain.”

you hear the beds behind hawks starts to creak, then comes the yawns.

Tokoyami is the first to speak, “Good morning hawks, y/n.”

“Morning!” you say happily, Tokoyami was nice.

The three men raised from their beds, hawks left you a little colder. They talked about how their day should go, eating, selling more to different traders in town, etc.

you were blissfully laying in the soft bed, Dabi wasn’t kidding when he said the were nice.

“Princess?” Hawks calls. You only groan as a response.

“I can trust you enough to have the gag not be on your mouth, right?”

It’s not like you would talk a lot with it off anyways, you nodded despite that.

Hawks smiles, he had a nice smile, “good, now cmon put on your scarf, let’s go eat.”

The walk to the tavern wasn’t that long, you were able to pass by a few shops, some for flowers, furniture, or just pawning. The four of you passed by one of the pawn shops, where they sold most of your royal things.

The owner looked at you, looked away for a moment, then looked back and started waving his hands trying to get your attention.

“M-Mr. Hawks! one moment please?” He says.

Hawks cocks his head to the side while the man runs up to him, pulling him aside to where the three of you can’t hear their conversation.

You can tell by the expressions on hawks face that the news he’ll have won’t be very good, he argues quietly, then beckons Tokoyami to come closer.

He whispers something in his ear, then Tokoyami walks away.

Hawks then shoos away the old man, turning back towards you with a sour expression.

“Can’t sell the stuff here apparently, boss says it’s ‘too suspicious’ for a town like this.” Hawks says with a distaste.

Dabi sighs, “where are we supposed to sell it then?”

“Night market, heard it’s moved down to Skinningrove.”

Dabi whistles, “Now that is one fucked up place.”

Now you’ve never heard of “skinningrove” but SableStome was just fine even if Tokoyami and Dabi hated it, so you assumed it would be fine!

“What’re you looking so happy for huh?” Dabi says.

“Hm? Nothing, just excited for the next adventure.” You reply.

Dabi chuckles, “well you know why they call it Skinningrove right? Cause they skin people there- and you’re milk bathed skin would sell for some pretty penny yknow.”

“Dabi, don’t scare her.”

Well isn’t that just amazing for you?

Hawks looks at the distraught expression on your face, “Just stay close to me and you’ll be fine.”

“They won’t be scared of you pretty boy.”

“I’ll give them a reason to be scared then.”

Dabi just shakes his head with a small smile.

You can hear a carriage approaching, then the owner coming out with your belongings.

The four men start packing all your things into the carriage in preparation for Skinningrove, aren’t you just so excited?

Hawks then ushers you inside, you sit down on one of the boxes. Hawks thanks the owner then waves goodbye as you start moving.

He looks back at you, you looked terrified after Dani’s little comment about being…skinned.

He sits next to you and hands you something red, it’s a feather, one straight from those pretty wings to be specific.

don’t say pretty.

“Here.”

“Why are you giving me this?”

“Skinningrove is always a little hectic, don’t wanna lose you.”

“Do they really skin people there?”

He groans softly, “Only sometimes…”

well I suppose that makes you feel…slightly better?

“I can hear through it, just a little bit, so if you get swooped away you’ll be able to talk to me.”

“Thanks, hawks…”

You can feel the carridge shaking slightly on the bumpy road that leads out of SableStone, you’re still scared of your next adventure but at least hawks will protect you?

no, don’t think that.

your father would never even have you near this place…or out of the palace.

hawks gives you freedom at least.

he’ll keep you safe.

[dullweapons]

𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

from : @sapientiiae , @vilestblood , @dutifulsilence !

🍆 how do they feel about toys? do they have any? what’s their favorite? do they use them with partners?

yes toys !!! usually he uses toys when he's just masturbating cause hands sometimes don't cut it &. he needs a little help . he's got a few different things such as dildos in different sizes , some that are only fit for a size queen such as himself . Those are probably just for him but i also picture him having a pegging set for his afab s/o to peg him if he trusts them enough to ! ( ray is a little picky who gets to peg him but its for safety reasons. he overstimulates & can be dangerous )

probably nipple clamps , his tits are sensitive pls do touch them that is why he has his nips periced . perhaps paddles for impact play ? rope & handcuffs as some of his lovers have been into BDSM & he's pretty good as a dom .

he's also fine with trying new toys if his partner wants to ? like he'll try candle wax even if he's never done it before .

🤪 what’s the wildest place they’ve ever done something sexual?

idk he'd fuck anywhere ?? probably banged a zelda on the throne of hyrule castle . ( probably blue's zelda @/hyliangrace tbh . they have a healthy sex life those too but in blue's words : would fuck on the triforce if they could )

shadow temple ? yep that place is v sexy to him he's 100% fuck there & use the torture devices as sex toys .

top of death mountain ? probably with a goron .

literally anywhere you can think of he's fucked in there . you can't be immortal & NOT fuck in the wildest places you & think of

👀 how do they feel about voyeurism ? exhibitionism ?

voyeurism : yeah sure , he's into it . honesty he is into just watching people in a non sexual sense ⸻ humans are interesting to him . they act different to him . but back to sexual ; yeah he'll watch his partner fuck someone else if they're into cucking . he'll watch you undress behind a partition screen & jerk off & he'll watch you masterbait . but he's more into being watched himself ? not even out in public just in general . like just looking at him intensely as he jerks off & he'll explode .

exhibitionism : yes . yes yes yes yes yes ⸻ ray is hyperily into this . he won't do anything in a public space just out in the open but fucking in a broom closet or in the room next door to a bunch of people ? or better yet , fucking someone out a window & they have pretend nothing is happening . or getting his dick sucked under the desk while he's talking to someone . all of that is soooo hot to him .

🕒 what’s the longest time they went without engaging in sexual activity with a partner? [masturbation doesn’t count]

i think the period between sahar & a bit before gwal in the timeline . so SS - Pre OOT ? probably during the force era ( minish cap & four swords ) is when he finally hit up a prostitute . before that he was practically a virgin & claimed he would never love another since sahar died & was okay never having sex again . so he went without sexual activity for a few hundred years .

& when he did lay with a prostitute ( probably peer pressured by other knights tbf ) he just was like ❌👁️ ‼️ & didn't know what he was doing & probably left without doing much of anything out of embarrassment . he eventually gets over this & beds prostitutes or flirts with woman in bars regularly ⸻ nothing serious until he meets gwal during the civil war & realizes men were an option this whole time .

🫂 how do they feel about friends with benefits?

long as they both consent he's down ! he is probably going to catch feelings but that is a him problem ! has happened before & will happen again . even if he does catch feelings if he can tell that his friend w/ benefits does NOT want it he is going to keep it to himself .

he wouldn't want their relationship to turn into just fucking . he would still want to be friends & wouldn't want to lose that . cause if you just ride his dick & leave him immedelity he's going to be upset . ray does NOT want to be used just for sex .

[leofrith]

[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]

I wasn't actually tagged by anyone and I would never usually do this but @ainulindaelynn said anyone could consider themselves tagged and this one looked fun so here I am. 🤪

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Five! Four one-shots and one multi-chapter WIP.

2. What is your AO3 word count?

16,451

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Assassin's Creed, formerly (but I'm sure I'll be dragged back into it at some point) Star Wars. I also have a bunch of old WIPs for Pacific Rim and (🤢) the MCU but never completed/published any of them.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I only have five fics posted so:

Hideaway - 147

Bright Skies - 136

Press On, Move Along - 92

Out of the Cold - 35

Honor Bound - 22

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I try to respond to every comment I get, even if it's just a short little acknowledgement. Because I would like people to know I see them and appreciate them so they keep commenting. <3

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Press On, Move Along. Everyone died, dude.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hideaway!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet! 🤪

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, as of like... three months ago. I have yet to publish any of it though and it'll probably be a long while before I do, but I also have a little one-shot that may be done long before then if I decide to actually finish it. In terms of "what kind" I think it's pretty vanilla. IDK how else to describe it.🧍🏻‍♀️

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not generally, except for the AC Star Wars AU that has taken over my brain. I'm not even sure I would count that as a crossover so much as a fusion AU because there are absolutely no Star Wars characters in it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I'm not positive this person was copying my fic, but I distinctly remember not long after I posted Hideaway coming across a fic with the same premise (Din playing hide and seek with the kids on Sorgan), which followed all the exact same plot beats as mine. And I do mean exactly. Obviously the plot itself is not particularly groundbreaking and I think there are plenty of other similar stories out there, but this one was similar enough to set off alarm bells.

I didn't end up doing anything about it because again, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and it could have easily been a coincidence, but obviously if they had fully reposted my fic then that would be a different story.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Actively written a fic with another person? No. Plotted a fic from start to finish in a months-long series of increasingly deranged DMs? So many times. Hi Parker. :)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Girl... I can't answer this. I don't know about "favourite" but if I had to pick a ship that has made me crazy for the most amount of time, it's probably Mako/Raleigh.

15. What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will?

I still think about my post-Mando s2 fix-it fic every once in a while but I honestly doubt I'll ever finish it. Disney has pretty much killed any care I once had for this show and it fucking sucks. :/

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm not even being modest right now I just actually don't know lmao. Anything that I might qualify as a strength isn't consistent enough for me to feel justified in calling it a strength.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Overthinking my use of commas, editing while I write, feeling directionless when I don't do enough planning ahead of time but feeling suffocated when I do too much planning ahead of time. Also just being sooooo fucking slow, but I think that can be attributed to the overthinking.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I avoid it as much as humanly possible. If someone is speaking another language I'll usually just note it in the text somehow or, as has been the case with Honor Bound a lot of the time, purposefully write from the POV of a character who doesn't speak that language which, in addition to conveniently sidestepping that issue, works well as a narrative device.

I just absolutely hate the thought of putting Google translated dialogue in a fic and having a native speaker cringe their way through grammatically incoherent dialogue lmao.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Marvel >:(

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Honor Bound obviously holds a special place in my heart but Out of the Cold is really good. Like really good IMO.

No-pressure tags: @orphiceonian, @aeide, @findusinaweek, @reiverreturns, @basimibnishaqs, ????? anyone else who wants to <3

[i0veless]

GUITAR STRING HEART 1 :: KYLIAN MBAPPE

𖥻 SUMMARY ー [ sometimes they're an unexpected chapter in the story ] 𖥻 PAIRING ー [ kylian mbappe x fem! guitarist/singer! reader ] 𖥻 GENRE ー [ social media au, band au, ex's to ???, angst, fluff ] 𖥻 WORD COUNT ー [ 4.7k ] 𖥻 WARNINGS ー [ drinking, smoking, mention of nudity, breakups, and insecurities - let me know if theirs anything else ] 𖥻 AUTHORS NOTE ー [ first post, and it's an idea I have had for a while - their is going to be a part 2 to this and Idk when I will write it but enjoy - ALSO their may be several mistake but plz ignore it 2 am and i can see straight ]

➛ previous | taglist | masterlist | next

Nothing felt better than this, the rush of Adrenaline and Dopamine kicking in, making everything fuzzy in the best way possible. Y/N lived for that rush, and right now was no different as she played her heart out on stage with her hands skilfully plucking the strings of her baby blue guitar, playing in harmony with her bandmates to the thunderous applause of the crowd. The song finally drew to a close, and the cheers became deafening. The musician felt at home looking out into the sea of faces full of twinkling phone lights, signs, and posters.

As the cheers died down slightly, Axel yelled into the mic, "Thank you, Rome and good night." followed by more applause from the crowd, and the stage lights cut off. The show was over, and dame where they beat, sluggishly making their way backstage. The group placed their instruments down before they crashed to the floor. "One more show left to go", Sabrina laughed. "Ugh, I'm gonna miss this", Onyx muttered in exhaustion. "Are you, though" Sabrina questioned, knowing her friend's lazy tendencies. "Hate to say it, but I agree with nyx on this one. I could do this forever," Y/n finally chimed in as she picked herself off the floor, grabbed four water bottles, and shared them with the group. "Now hurry up, you dumb fucks. I need a shower."

Paparazzi were annoying fans, and average fans weren't. That was set in stone, but the line separating the two was slim. So when people were shoving cameras in their faces and screaming at them to 'look here.' it got very annoying very quickly. The security team surrounded them like a herd of intimidating sheep, escorting them from the venue to their ride to the hotel.

With a deep sigh, Y/N finally shut the door to her hotel room, bolted it, and quickly stripped naked, leaving a pile of clothes in the bathroom. She bathed under the shower and let the hot water wash away all the day's dirt, grime and stress. Humming a light tune, she scrubbed her body clean with scented body gel and shampooed and conditioned her hair before rinsing. Now fresh and clean, she did her extensive skin care and posted a picture on Instagram with her, Sabrina, and Victoria from Maneskin, adding a couple of images to her story and making a quick tweet teasing the final concert of the tour in paris before turning off her phone and falling asleep. Safe to say, she was excited for what was to come, but nothing could prepare her for the storm coming her way, a storm called Kylian Mbappe.

yourinstagram

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yourinstagram night in rome as a couple🍷

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sab.rina wifey 🥰🥵 ⤷ yourinstagram mommy 😩😩

sab.rina you are fine wine ⤷ onyxisastone I don't like wine ⤷ user wow 🤣

onyxisastone couple of besties 🤪 ⤷ yourinstagram you're done... ⤷ sab.rina politely shut the fuck up ⤷ onyxisastone what did I do ⤷ axeman your only making things worse nyx so for ya only personal safety zip it ⤷ onyxisastone 🤐

maneskin 🫡🫡🫡 ⤷ yourinstagram 😘😘😘 ⤷ user stan maneskin and blood valentine for clear skin ⤷ user future collab?

axeman why was I not invited ⤷ sab.rina do you have a vigina ⤷ axeman no... ⤷ sab.rina then their is your answer ⤷ yourinstagram pizza? ⤷ axeman yes, please ⤷ user miss brina woke up and chose violence ⤷ sab.rina always 💅🏼

user bloody valentines friendship >>>> the world ⤷ user facts

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sab.rina my girls 

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vicdeangelissee you soon ⤷ user collab? ⤷ ykaaar 👀 ⤷ vicdeangelis 👀 ⤷ ethanskin 👀 ⤷ thomasraggi__ 👀

yourinstagram the pretty best friends 🥰 ⤷ vicdeangelis 😘

onyxisastone still trying to steal our band mates I see victoria ⤷ vicdeangelis I mean...

user maneksin and bloody valentine single-handedly saved this year ⤷ user facts  

user step on me

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yourinstagram . 23hr ago

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axeman

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axeman fight or flight

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Kylian knew it was wrong, but that had never stopped him before. He had lost all sense of morality the moment he lost her, as he lay awake another sleepless night with the bed feeling too big and empty, yearning for the feeling of another body filling that void. But it couldn't be just anyone, and he figured that out the hard way after many nights of drinking and sleeping around still did little to ease or mend his broken heart.

Letting out a deep sigh, the PSG player gave up on trying to sleep and decided to turn on the tv as he lay perfectly still in bed and flicked through the channels. Lady and the tramp was one of Y/N's favourites because she was a hopeless romantic. As the famous spaghetti scene played with romantic music in tow, the number ten couldn't help but feel heavy-hearted and annoyed.

Everything reminded him of her, but he didn't have the right to complain about feeling heartbroken. He was the one who left the stunning musician. So in some sick sense of karma, he did deserve it. Maybe this was how the universe would exact revenge on him on behalf of his former lover. Gift him success, money, fame - and every luxury life had to offer but leave a hole in the shape of the love he once had.

He constantly felt the overwhelming urge to see her face, like an itch in his brain that he could not scratch, to see what he had missed, to revel in envy and live vicariously through her social media posts and dream of a world where they were still together. He held a sick sense of pride that no one would know her as intimately as he did - but what if things had changed? What if someone else did? What if she had moved on? And let the moments the two of them shared slowly deteriorate from her library of memories to make room for new ones without him?

The thought made his blood boil, he knew he had no right to be angry, but he couldn't help it. How could he remain calm? When a usurper had taken his place in Y/N's heart, he understood that it was no longer his place to hold - but oh, how he wished it was. How he wished he could wake up with someone to hold him tight in the winter mornings, kiss him until minor bruises formed, love him through the highs and lows and excepted him with all his flaws. But he didn't just want someone. He wanted Y/N L/N, but unfortunately, not all dreams came true.

So Kylian did the next best thing; he stalked her. Clicking on the profile, he scrolled through the array of photos, her happy face, in different countries, with her friends, family but not him - never him. That was why he didn't want their relationship to be secret anymore. He was tired of being hidden. Because in the back of his mind, he thought Y/N was ashamed to be seen with him, obviously that was the furthest thing from the truth.

But he couldn't help it, so in an attempt to find some comfort, he suggested making the relationship public multiple times. Constant declining and excuses did nothing but further his insecurities to the point that he started to doubt their relationship. This only lead to more fights and, finally, the eventual end of the relationship, with him being the one to call it off.

As he stared at the same face, he shed a river's worth of tears with. He felt nothing but regret and guilt as he saw the musician's Instagram story, a picture from her band's concert in Rome. 'I don't want to love you anymore' in a bold red, scrawled over the digital screen in the background. Part of him wanted to deny any chance that this may be directed towards him, but another part of him clung to the idea that the musician was still in love with him like a wet shirt to skin.

So without thinking, he posted on his story replying to her first post indirectly, not even concerned if people would put two and two together. An hour later, Kylian began watching another movie that reminded him of her. Tim Burton's corpse bride, as the film played in the background, Mbappe opened Twitter and switched accounts from his offical to his secret. His timeline was a bloody valentines shrine of achievements and, more notably, Y/N's achievements, from videos of her and her bandmates at the Grammys and red carpets to their most recent concert in Rome. He watched them all, liking, favouriting and rooting for them from afar.

One particular video caught his eye, clicking play. Shouts and music met his ears as the video of the group performing the song 'second chance romance.' played with everyone in the crowd screaming, dancing and singing along. All he could do was focus on the lyrics. 'second chance romance doesn't leave us enough time for one last dance, with not enough time. You'll leave me begging you, please don't go, but even if you leave, maybe in a couple of years, I'll let you back into my heart, my dear.'

The song was for him. It had to be. Once again, acting on impulse, he posted the picture of the Tim burton movie and song title to his story before shutting off his phone. Mbappe closed his eyes and let out a deep breath as he clung to his last shred of hope that he could still have her back. He knew that Y/N's final concert was in Paris, and part of him felt happy that she was coming home. Even if it wasn't to him, maybe he would watch. He eventually fell asleep, unaware of the problems he had caused with those posts. But perhaps it was for the best?

k.mbappe . 22hr ago

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celebritytheories

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celebritytheories Football fans and blood hearts clash as the recent stories made by mbappe leave fans wondering if there was some relationship between him and bloody valentines guitarist and female vocalist y/n l/n. The rumours sparked after kylian posted a harmless photo of him watching lady and the tramp (one of y/n's favourite movies of all time) with a cryptic message seemingly replying to the y/n's story about her band's concert in rome, italy. And if that wasn't enough to cause controversy, the psg star then made a follow-up post on his story with the caption 'second chance romance.' which is a bloody valentine song written by y/n herself. As it recounts a relationship with an old flame and how she would be willing to rekindle their love, the reference was paired alongside another of her all-time favourite movies, the corpse bride. People's opinions are split, with some claiming that fans are just reaching. Others argue that the references were too cohesive to be coincidence and that the singer did spend four months in paris last year. With no more information and neither party addressing the rumours, there is nothing but speculation. With bloody Valentine, the final stop on their world tour is in Paris, and people are wondering if PSG's number star will be among the crowd.

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user it's offical everyone has fucking lost it

user am I the only one who thinks that they would make a cute couple? liked by celebritytheories

user naurrr y/n is for the gayyys ⤷ user she's bi

user nahhh I smell cap

user but why does this actually make sense ⤷ user I know right?!?!?! ⤷ user so ship? ⤷ user yeah def ⤷ user brb gonna go write some fanfiction for them ⤷ user go touch some fucking grass ⤷ user no thank you 🥰

user stay away from my future wife you mutant turtle 🤺🤺🤺

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thegossip

liked by bloodyvalentine maneskin and 1,832,483 others

thegossip band bloody valentine has finally landed in pairs for their last concert on their bloody revenge world tour, with rumours circulating that the Italian band maneskin will also be expected to make an appearance, but nothing has been confirmed.

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thebloodyvalentine 👀 ⤷ sab.rina 👀 ⤷ axeman 👀 ⤷ yourinstagram 👀 ⤷ maneskin 👀 ⤷ onyxisastone 🫦 ⤷ user 🤣🤣🤣

user I would sell my soul to see them live

user am I the only one who is wondering if the y/n and kylian rumours are true? ⤷ user same ⤷ user y/n is to good for kylian ⤷ user facts

user google how to become the floor

user god they could step on me and I would say thank you 🥵 ⤷ user same ⤷ user ya'll need to ask for forgiveness from god ⤷ user rich coming from someone who follows the hub

user I want vic from maneksin and y/n bloody valentine to peg me

user 🔥🔥🔥

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Love was a complicated emotion, but the dread that she was experiencing was the furthest thing from it. Y/N had been worried about everything but the paparazzi, from the jet to the car to the hotel. She leaned against the hotel room's balcony with a cigarette and a flute of champagne in hand. She felt the sicking sense of nostalgia creep down her spine as she watched the twinkling lights of the Eiffel tower.

The cold wind gently knocked against her frigid skin, reminding her that at the same time last year, she was in the warm embrace of the supposed man of her dreams - Kylian Mbappe. But it wasn't meant to be. Even if she wished it was, it wouldn't change the truth. They were over and had been over for nearly a year, so why he decided to start writing cryptic messages and references directed at her was a surprise. Her head had convinced her that he was bored, and her heart said that he still loved her, but whatever the PSG player was doing was not appreciated.

The squeak of the balcony door stopped her rabbit hole of reminiscing as her best friend and fellow bandmate Sabrina joined her on the balcony. "Feels nice to be back, doesn't it?" the bassist asked. All Y/N could respond with was a whispered 'yeah' as she tried to convince herself and her friend that she was unbothered. "Angel, you know you are great at many things, but lying is not one of them."

With a deep sigh of frustration, the guitarist downed the rest of her champagne before placing the glass on the floor. Taking another long drag of her cigarette, leaned her back against the railing. "It's just…memories." She trailed off slightly, looking at her friend with a heavy sadness in her eyes. "Your thinking about the posts", Sabrina gently interrogated as she leaned against the rails and began to smoke. "It's hard not to when it's splashed all over gossip sites", the guitarist softly answered as she took one final drag of her cigarette before extinguishing it in the ashtray.

"You know, maybe it's well-aligned coincidences", Sabrina half-heartedly joked to make her friend smile - which she did. But only for a brief moment, as the gloom of memories crept over her once more. "You and I both know those posts were anything but coincidence, Brina," Y/N spoke with a sad smile. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, you're probably not going to see him, " her friend uttered, trying to comfort her sad companion.

"Oddly enough, that makes me feel slightly worse that better." as tears start to well in her eyes, Y/N lights a fresh cigarette - Kylian hated when she smoked, which was the exact reason she did it often. "You still in love with him" the dreaded question slipped through her friend's lips, and the two stood in a moment's worth of silence. "I don't think I ever stopped. I only learned how to act like I didn't."

"to be honest, I always thought that you two would get married", Sabrina sighed as she thought about all the times she saw her friend and the football star looking hopelessly in love during their relationship. But no love story was perfect, and Y/N and Kylian's was no different. "yeah, me too," Y/N whispered with unshed tears. Sabrina knew why they ended, as Kylian's constant need to make their relationship public tore them apart.

And the 18-year-old Y/N was hesitant, and she didn't want unnecessary attention from the media, who already had an affinity for making baseless dating accusations against her. But Sabrina could understand why Kylian didn't want to keep their relationship secret - he wanted to show the world how much he loved his girl. But at the same time, Y/N had a different idea for their relationship, wanting to keep it private and avoid people making unnecessary comments towards both of them. She was trying to protect him, but did he need protection in the first place?

After a few more moments of peaceful silence, the two girls agreed to go back inside as the cold worsened. Stepping back into the warm hotel room, their other two bandmates lay on the sofa with a drink in hand and not a care in the world. Looking up from his phone Onyx smiled at the pair "nice of you to rejoin the party." the drummer laughed as he handed the two a beer bottle each as they seated themselves in the empty loveseat.

"Good to know you're still not completely shit-faced", Y/N snickered, taking a sip of her beer, "Don't worry, the night is still young," the man said in a fit of laughter. "Give it ten minutes, and he'll be out like a light", Axel finally chimed in. The other guitarist and male vocalist chuckled at the state of his bandmate. "Nah, I give it five", Sabrina countered. "You people have no faith in me", the intoxicated drummer whined in protest. The group laughed in innocent bliss, revelling in each other's company, only to be interrupted by a knock at the door.

Looking in the direction of the nock, Axel sighed, "alright, fess up. Who ordered takeout." looking towards his friends, who all denied doing such a thing - but that didn't convince him. Pushing himself up from the sofa and walking towards the door, making sure to grab his wallet in the process, he grumbled incoherently while the other three just looked at each other confused. Opening the door, Axel was met with the face of their manager, not a delivery boy. "False alarm, it's just Johnny ", he yelled to the others, who groaned at the thought of no food.

Letting the older man into the room, they offered him a beer, which he accepted graciously before taking a seat on an empty stool. "So your probably wondering what I'm doing here, so I'll get straight to it. As you know, tomorrow is the day before your last concert on tour, and I just got a call from the higher-ups. They want you to attend the PSG vs Man City match tomorrow and get the most publicity out of these stupid rumours about Y/N and Mbappe." Johnny spoke as the group listened intently to their manager, oblivious to the fact that these rumours were true, which made him look stupid, but they chose not to say anything. Well, this was an exciting turn of events.

yourinstagram . 12hr ago

seen by gigihadid neymarjr and 1,341,344 others

sab.rina . 6hr ago

seen by k.mbappe leomessi and 1,810,124 others

Y/N had been uneasy since the morning as she sat in the car on her way to the game. She was questioning her life choices as she tried to find ways to escape this uncomfortable situation, but her back was against the wall. It took all her strength not to reach from her seat behind the driver and grab the wheel to force him to turn the car around. Part of her hated Johnny for this, but the other part couldn't be mad at him for something he didn't know or could control.

Finally, stopping in front of Parc Des Princes Paris. Home to PSG and her ex-boyfriend Y/N felt like she was dying. Stepping out of the car, she looked up at the enormous stadium as she felt a hand intertwined with hers. Turning slightly, she met Sabrina's gaze giving her a reassuring smile to her friend that she was 'fine'. The group walked in like a scene out of an action movie as security escorted them to their seats in the VIP lounge.

As fans flooded into the stadiums as chants and singing began - football fans were a different breed of human. A little while later, the pre-kick of formalities had started. Both teams make their way onto the field, standing in line with the children in front of them. As the camera panned across all of the player's faces, Y/N's heartbeat quickened slightly at the sight of the PSG number seven. Her heart screams at his effortlessly attractive disposition, even if her head screams to ignore him. But that had been challenging to do when every fibre of her being was still calling out to him.

Y/N was choosing to swat away the intrusive thoughts and enjoy the game, as that was the point of being there, even if it was mixed up in a publicity bit. As the game began, the guitarist was on the edge of her seat as the two teams went head to head. One of the most intriguing clashes amid the match was between Mbappe and Halland, as the two promising talents battled it out in what seemed to be far bigger than just a football match - it was personal. There was a purpose behind every tackle and interception, not just to win but to make a point to the other.

By the end of the first half, it was 1-1, with both teams equally matched in skill, speed, and defence, meaning there were very few windows to score. As much as she didn't want to come, Y/N was genuinely surprised at how much she was enjoying herself. If it weren't for the fact that everyone knew they were here (courtesy of the cameras showing their reactions to the goals on the large screen) and that her ex-boyfriend was in the same vicinity as her, she would have classed this as a near-perfect experience.

"They're good, aren't they?" Axel spoke in awe as he took a sip of his coke, "yeah, I mean did you see Halland score that goal!" Onyx said with elevated enthusiasm - he was a man city stan. "technically, aren't we meant to be supporting PSG as they were the ones who invited us?" Sabrina questioned, making an excellent point. Why would PSG invite them when one of their star players was making headlines for all the wrong reasons with a member of the band they asked to watch? "Well, it's a free country, and I'm going to support Halland," Onyx said firmly with his support for the light blues.

"Suck his ass more like." Y/N chimed in, giving Brina a high five as the two laughed at their friend's obsession with Earling Halland. As the group talked about the game and enjoyed their VIP benefit food, the second half started, and it did not disappoint. Mbappe and Messi followed Neymar and scored a goal each, but the field was quickly made even by Phil Foden and Jack Grealish. The game ended 3-3, much to each side's disappointment, but they all played their best and put on a fantastic show of skill.

Standing up from their seats, the group cheered along with the rest of the audience of fans before they began to grab their things and get ready to leave, like everyone else. But a text message from Johnny altered their plans drastically, "Oh shit", Onyx cursed, looking at his friends. "Have you guys read what johnny boys said on the group chat" Taking the silence as a 'no', he continued, "apparently, were going to be taken by security to meet the PSG team"

If Y/N wasn't freaking out before, she sure was now. Sensing her distress, her friends jumped in to comfort her. "Hey baby, listen, we don't have to if you don't want to", Axel said, trying to comfort his best friend as she looked like she was on the verge of tears at the thought of being in the same room as her ex. "No, no, we have to. I don't want management to know somethings up." the girl sighed as she tried to compose herself as she began to walk down to the reception.

They were taken back into the restricted area, Y/N was now in fight or flight mode, and in a last-ditch attempt, she asked where the bathroom was. Walking towards the restroom, she could feel her bandmates concerned gazes as the guitarist and singer walked into the bathroom. Splashing cold water over her face, looking at her reflection in the mirror, she felt her solid resolve deteriorating with every passing second.

"You look like you have been through it" not even bothering to turn around, she looked through the mirror and saw Earling Halland leaning against one of the stalls near the door. "You could say that." turning around to face him, giving him a small smile. "Hope it wasn't because of the outcome of the match." he joked lightly, seeing the girl's tense demeanour and deciding that she needed a laugh.

"No, it was anything but that. It's not every day you get to see Earling the robot Halland play live." the Norwegian star met her gaze with a stunned expression riddled across his face. "You know who I am?" he asked in shock, and all Y/N could do was laugh. "Of course, I know who you are. It's difficult not to when my bandmate constantly professes his undying love for you." Erling flushed pink as he muttered a small 'wow', "Yeah, don't underestimate your reputation. Onyx asked to become you for Christmas."

As the two laughed at the ridiculous request, "well, looks like he's not the only one with an impossible Christmas gift since all of your concert tickets are sold out, " the blond confessed, which shocked the singer. "You listen to our music," Y/N asked, pointing from him to herself when he nodded without hesitation. "Not just me. The whole man-city squad loves your music, and we were planning to see you live in London, but the tickets sold out so fast."

"Okay, I see a way we can solve both our problems. You get me one of your signed jerseys I will get you and the rest of your squad tickets to tomorrow's concert" Boy, did that make him happy he asked if she was being serious, and when she responded with a firm yes, she was flung into a hug. "Okay, okay, I can get you that jersey and do you one better I can get the whole squad to sign it." the blond Norwegian said, breaking away from the embrace.

"Wait, you would do that?" Y/N asked in surprise that the player was willing to do so much for someone he had just met, and another nod had her smiling like an idiot. "You, my friend, have just earned you and the rest of your team tickets to tomorrow's concert and an invite to the after-party." the two talked through the details, exchanging numbers and bidding each other goodbye. Safe to say that she felt much happier as she walked towards her dreaded destination. Wonder how long that's going to last.

onyxisarock . 4hr ago

seen by kimkardiashianwest ksi and 1,126,124 others

thegossip

liked by 11,832,483 others

thegossip Bloody valentine spotted at the recent psg vs man city game

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[angstsfordays]

Save me, Save you [5/?]

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Enhanced! Avenger Reader

Summary: Your fights mostly belonged on the grounds while he worked mostly in the mystic and cosmic realms. Even though you both fought together in the infinity war to stop Thanos, you and Stephen Strange hardly ever interacted with one another. It only took one incidental misunderstanding between the two of you to bring both of you closer than ever. For two people who do not believe that they could find love, all we can say is that love finds you unexpectedly.

Chapter synopsis: Reader and Stephen try to navigate the beginning of their unexpected partnership. Stephen plays his part more seriously than reader thought.

Warnings: An almost bad word coming out! Slow burn🔥 Classic fake dating shenanigans!

Word count: 4.7k

Notes: Chapter 5 is finally here! 😊 I'm sorry for the wait as real-life duties call and I had multiple deadlines to meet at work. 🥲 Hence, I could only post this chapter out over a week later! Hope y'all liked it and let me know what you think! We get to have a bit of action here! 🤪

Love,

Angstsfordays 💜

Chapters: Prologue | One | Two | Three | Four

------------------------//---------------------------

The aftermath of everything that happened was a sheer nightmare. When you promised Sam that you will come back to the matter after he came back from Louisiana, that only settled half the problem.

The other half was trying to deal with Bucky but that surprisingly resolved on its own when Bucky grimly stated that he had things to attend to, which he then made his quick exit out of the Sanctum doors.

Wong left you and Stephen alone, but not before giving you a thumbs and a wish of luck.

Once everyone let the room, you immediately sunk down to the floor and heaved a sigh of relief. You webbed your fingers through you hair to slowly process what the hell just happened. For a moment, you forgot the other presence in the library- one which you were still interlocking fingers with.

Stephen blinked a couple of times as he recalled a flash of what transpired earlier.

“I really like him.”

“He makes me happy.”

The sound of love in your voice as you spoke those words did so much to him that you probably realised. Even though he knew you said what you had to convince Bucky Barnes, he couldn’t help but to feel a sense of happiness at hearing them.

Stephen then looked to you now muttering a string of curses under your breath as your eyes were burning a hole onto the ground beneath.

He cleared his throat to get your attention and your head immediately snapped towards him before looking down to your connected hands. Faster than lightning, you withdrew your hands and whispered an apology.

Stephen was disheartened at the loss of contact but then remembered he wanted an explanation from you. “Care to explain what happened back there?”

You winced at his very valid question.

“Well, you see Stephen, I may have decided to lie about our supposed relationship.” Eyes wandering everywhere except for the sorcerer in front of you, you were cracking your brain to try to explain yourself without making you sound like a pyscho.

“Hmm.” Stephen let out as he gestured for you to continue. You took a breath in and out to collect yourself before speaking.

“The person I talked to you about, the one I confessed my feelings too. It is Bucky.”

“Uh huh.” Stephen pretended to go along even though he had already figured it out for himself.

“During dinner last night, I may have told him and Sam I had a date. Mainly to convince Bucky I have moved on because he was seeing someone.” So that was the real reason why you started the lie, Stephen thought.

“Right.” He responded before you started rambling to explain yourself further. “I didn’t say who it was. I totally made it up.”

Hearing that you made up an imaginary date to get two guys that acted like your brothers was fair and also humorous. Stephen held back a smirk before speaking, “I see.”

“I didn’t expect Sam’s imagination to go off the charts and think you were my date!” Your tone was frantic and your pitch got higher as realization dawned upon you on how messy the situation was. What you had done was possibly the worst improvisation in the history of improvisation!

“Okay.” Stephen was getting a little concerned at how agitated you were starting to get but before he could budge in, you continued on dramatically.

“But I didn’t deny it because Bucky was right there and if I didn’t do what I did just now, he would know I am a lying ass.” You ended off your tirade with a flurry of dramatic hand gestures and looked to Stephen, hoping that he would understand and pitied your situation.

“Which you technically are.” The sarcastic yet accurate reply you had gotten from him made you blanched, because he was absolutely right and you were downright embarrassed.

“Yes, but I rather be a lying ass than a humiliated ass.” Trying to redeem yourself, you squirmed under the doubtful look that Stephen had thrown your way. You felt like a complete scam and looked towards him defeatedly.

“I’m sorry, Stephen. I shouldn’t have dragged you into this mess. I panicked.”

“So what now?” Stephen looked at you expectedly, he wasn’t sure how you wanted to go about this but all he knew was that he would go along with whatever you wanted. Because he genuinely wanted to. Looking at him with hopeful doe eyes, Stephen was also pretty sure he would find it hard to say no to you.

“Please keep this up charade with me. At least for a month or something. Then we can tell them we ended this because we’re too busy with own schedules or it just didn’t work out and we decided that we’re best off as friends.”

The idea of fake dating would go terribly wrong, Stephen thought. His feelings for you which he was supposed to put a stop would also heighten while pretending to be your boyfriend in front of other people.

Yet, he did want to help you- even this whole situation is ridiculous. Seeing how you were trying to put up a brave front in front of Bucky left a gnawing feeling in his heart because he has been where you were.

When he attended Christine’s wedding and responded to her question on whether he was happy. He was totally not even though he said he is. Stephen was brought back to the present when you spoke up fervently.

“I could let you dump me. I don’t mind!” Oh Y/N…he thought. He didn’t like how you thought so little of yourself.

Stephen shook his head and tried to focus on the practicality of the matter as he spoke, “It’s not about that. How are we going to keep this up?”

Brows furrowing in dep thought, you came up with a plan. “I would probably meet Bucky and Sam a couple of times in the next month. It would be easy to put them off by saying what is between us is private.”

Stephen nodded in understanding but then meticulously thought about other considerations too. “But you’re forgetting Wong knows. Which means, America might know sooner or later. She would probably be invested in it seeing how she was so excited for you to date. We’re gonna be around each other quite a bit in their presence too.”

His tone became more serious, “I don’t really want to let her hopes get too high when she realises it is going to end in a month.”

You grimaced at the thought of having to lie and put up an act in front of America. “Crap, I have not even considered Am in the picture.”

You then countered justly, “But I’m sure she will understand. She shares with me how her friends get together and break up with guys easily.”

Stephen shook his head in disagreement as he reasoned, “But it’s different. It’s between us two, people that she looks up to and admires. If we break up so easily, it will have a far greater impact on her than you think.”

“Not if we’re not awkward after the ‘break up’. We can show how people can still be good friends even after one. Besides this is fake, it’s not like we’re dating for real.” The cold hard truth from your words stung Stephen. He was taking this more seriously than you, considering he was the one with more feelings for you than him. You probably had close to zero.

Stephen wanted to take his words back. As much as he wanted to help you, he wondered if this whole fake-dating would end up hurting him more. Stephen looked towards your guilt-ridden face after processing your entire discussion, you then looked back up at him with a firm stare.

“You know what. I’ve been very selfish asking you to do this for me. I would bear the consequences of my actions, I can tell the truth to Bucky, Sam and Wong. You shouldn’t have to play along to my bad decisions.”

“Y/N….” Worry came out from Stephen as he stares at your crestfallen expression. You put on your most optimistic face to reassure him as you saw Stephen looking upon you with concern.

“I’m pathetic, aren’t I?” You tried to make a joke about yourself to lighten the atmosphere. It was this moment where Stephen decided to not hold back.

“No, you are not.” He replied adamantly. Stephen hated seeing you so upset and hurt.

“Y/N…I am going to help you get through this.”

You couldn’t believe your ears and took a moment to process Stephen’s words. He actually agreed to help you! Breaking into a wide toothy grin, you started shaking excitedly.

“You mean it?” Your heart was hammering to hear Stephen’s confirmation and once he nodded in response, you stretched out your arms to gesture for a hug.

Stephen took a step forward to return your hug. He was relieved to see your cheery self once more and savoured in the close contact you two were having.

You held Stephen closely to show your appreciation and pulled back to show him your biggest smile.

“Thanks Stephen, you’re my literal hero!”

Taken back by your statement, Stephen was at a loss for words. His hands were getting clammy with nerves and his heart started pounding. To be the hero of an Avenger like you or even just to be your hero brought new meaning to him.

He always claimed himself to be an all-knowing and all-important person- protecting the fabric of reality and time. Yet, to be your hero just by getting you out of a messy situation brought a greater sense of accomplishment.

To be the reason for your smile and your happiness brought him far more pride than he ever had in his whole career as a surgeon or sorcerer.

------------------------//---------------------------

Stephen and you had decided to work out some rules regarding your entire dating fake situation that day. The two of you agreed that you would do no more than hand holding, hugs and friendly kisses in front of people.

The two of you had a cover story of bumping each other on the streets well over a month ago and started to hang out outside of the Sanctum. You both decided to wait and keep your relationship under wraps until it was more established- which did not happen due to the incidental expose with Sam and Bucky.

Stephen and you decided to find the right timing to ‘confess’ to America and wanted to make sure it came from the two of you first. You both believed Wong wouldn’t be the sort to tell everyone so you wanted to try keeping this relationship as close to your inner circle.

The wider it gets only meant more things to cover up. You shuddered at the thought.

Making your way to the Sanctum Sanctorum, you nervously got off your bike and parked it.

You hadn’t been this nervous even on your first visit, but just thinking about how things might or did change.

Entering the familiar lobby area of the Sanctum, you made your way to find America. You took the familiar steps to the residential wing of the Sanctum- each step you took was heavy as did your heart.

“Y/N?” A familiar comforting voice was heard behind you. The door of Stephen’s study opened and you saw him stepping out of the room. Cloakie followed closely behind and was about to latch him onto Stephen’s shoulders before it was made aware of your presence.

The ancient relic left Stephen hanging and swoosh to your side, wrapping you in a warm embrace. You giggled at its affectionate gesture and ran a hand up and down its softness.

Stephen looked towards the both of you with a mixture of annoyance and adoration.

“I’m jealous.” Your attention was brought back to Stephen standing hands folded with a teasing look.

Both you and Cloakie turned your attention to the Sorcerer. “Hmm? Of what?”

Taking steps towards you, Stephen smirked as he spoke, “I called you first, but your attention is on Cloak.”

“Oh, but he’s so cute!” You returned with a teasing expression. Cloakie then proceed to wrap itself even tighter in response to show its fondness for you.

“And I’m not?” Stephen took a cheeky jab at you and you can’t help to have a feeling that he was acting differently but not in a bad way. You know beneath his hard exterior, Stephen can be light-hearted and even sassy too.

“You’re acting odd?” Your statement came off more like a question. Stephen grinned at your confused expression before saying, “Just playing the part of the jealous boyfriend.”

“Of Cloak?” You added on doubtfully with a raised brow.

“Why not? Anyone who steals the attention of my girlfriend would incur my jealousy.” Stephen answered in a matter-of-fact tone. You rolled your eyes at this pretend play of his and decided to play along.

“Oh right. Got it.” Taking one more step brought you and Stephen chest to chest, you looked up to Stephen with apologetic eyes and a pout. “I’m sorry babe.”

Stephen’s heart jumped a little at the little nickname you added to your apology. He had to control himself from grinning out like a fool. “Is that what you’re going for?”

Giving him a quizzical look, you asked, “Then what should I call you?”

“Yours.” Stephen’s low baritone voice enunciating that one single word caused your insides to flip upside down. Why were you feeling this way?

Your lashes fluttered to look up at Stephen who was watching you with a cheeky grin. Your brows furrowed in light annoyance.

Thinking of the best comeback you can make, you retorted, “Unbelievable the all-stoic and nonchalant Stephen Strange is such a cringe.” Your words only served to make Stephen’s grin wider.

“I can be if I want to. Is it too much?” He laughed as he took a step back, creating a slight distance that only disappointed you. Why were you feeling sad that he moved back?

Shaking your head to rid of any deviating thoughts, you murmured with a passive voice. “It’s weird but not too much.”

Stephen was puzzled to see a change in your demeanour but he continued to speak, “Well, we should get some practice in if we wanted to convince Wong. He is shockingly intuitive and we must be on our toes.”

Nodding in agreement, you fiddled with the sides of your leather jacket nervously at the idea of pretending to keep up the dating act.

After everything has finally processed, you realized that you’re actually fake dating Stephen and while you thought this would be a breeze, you started to have some doubts of your own.

“Well, I shall not keep you any further. I got a class to teach soon so I will see you on the grounds later?” Gesturing for Cloak to return to him, the relic huffed before waving goodbye to you and then settling on Stephen’s shoulders.

You nodded as Stephen threw a disarming smile your way before he opened up the portal to Kamar-Taj. What was this unnerving feeling that you were experiencing?

------------------------//---------------------------

After training America for an hour or so, Wong came over to ask you for a favour. One of the Masters that was in charge of fight trainings called in sick- something about having too much Korean BBQ the previous night.

You agreed to help and brought America along to the class. As it was an advanced class involving the teachings of using a weapon, America had to sit this class out. Nevertheless, she joined in as an audience at the side and was excited to see you- her beloved mentor in full action.

As your eyes hovered over the small group of Masters-in-training, one guy caught your attention as you felt his stare almost burning into the side of your head.

You recognised him as one of the handsome recruits from the Hong Kong Sanctum and when both of your eyes met, the corner of his lips went up into a charming smile.

You weren’t sure entirely how to react so you returned a polite smile before conducting the class. Each Master had to use their magic energy to conjure a weapon that was of their own choice, you tried to guide them on how they could best utilise these weapons best for both attacks and defence.

You had everyone practiced in pairings to figure out the workings of their weapon choices before calling for a break. Everyone dispersed to use the toilet, grab some water or went for a change in scenery.

A voice called out to you and your head turned to the handsome recruit who smiled at you previously. Looking at him closer, you could observe his striking features more intimately.

He had a head full of black and neat cropped hair, his handsomeness wore a devilishly and boyish look. He was definitely younger than you with the puppy like smile he was throwing your way.

You had to admit he was stunning but you did not forget to be professional. Walking closer to him, you acknowledged his call out to you and asked him how you could help him.

“Master Y/N?” He called you with an endearing tone which taken you aback.

“Oh, I’m not a Master.” Shaking your head and hand, you tried to hold in your laughter at the misunderstanding before explaining yourself.  “I’m just subbing for Master Fukuhara. I’m not a Master here actually.”

The young recruit who introduced himself as Daniel Cheung widened his eyes at your statement and chuckled nervously before speaking, “I’ve been here for a month and I always see you training that girl over there. How come she is so special?”

“Oh, Wong asked me to train America specifically for combat and not in the Mystic Arts. I can’t actually do any magic.”

Daniel’s face was painted with surprise at your explanation while you continued to speak.

“I used to be an agent. So I have experiences with different types of weapons, that’s why I’m here.”

Daniel blinked innocently at your revelation, “Like a spy?”

You nodded while giggling at his question, “Something like that?”.

Daniel looked at you with awe before a confusion dawned upon him. “I saw you with powers though. I didn’t know a spy has powers. If they’re not magic, what are they?”

“I don’t know how to explain, I’m just born with them. They’re energy based and have more physical rather than magical impact.” You extended a hand to light up some energy sparks in your hand, manipulating it like a mini fireworks show.

Excitement lit up Daniel’s face. “That’s cool! You’re like me! Sort of! My ancestry stems from a long line of Masters so magic has been kind of within me too.”

You smiled like a mum at his cuteness and did wonder why he would choose to study Mystic Arts at a young age.

Most of the Masters here were definitely much older and the youngest would at least be around your age.

“I just want to say, I think you are so cool when I see you training on the grounds. I actually look forward to seeing you every time too.” Hearing what Daniel said got you flustered and you did not know how to receive the compliment except with an awkward smile.

He’s cute but could you really see yourself with someone like him? Not quite. Little do you know- cold and brooding types with a hidden warm side have always attracted you.

America was approaching you with your water bottle but stopped short in her tracks as your conversation with Daniel fell within her range.

She could not believe her ears and eyes as to what was happening. Y/N was finally getting some action and of all places, it’s at Kamar-Taj! She was trying so hard to squeal aloud and had to resort to doing it on the inside.

“Oh, uh, that’s really unexpected. Thank you for the compliment, that’s sweet of you.” Smiling politely, you found yourself feeling nervous.

“You know what’s sweeter?” You blinked wide-eyed at Daniel’s question, causing him to chuckle at your confusion.

“Yu, me and a cup of boba? I know this new place that just opened up.” Your eyes started blinking faster and your mind was whirling to process what could follow Daniel’s statement.

You had a gut feeling and the words came out of you sooner than you thought. “Oh, I don’t think-”

Daniel ignored your stuttering and went on with a hopeful look in his eyes, “I saw you bringing over some sweet drinks for the other Masters the other day and figured that boba might be to your liking?”

America could see you acting all fidgety and wanted to chid you for being awkward. Where was all the confidence and swag that you had from the time that she had known you?

You always carried yourself with positive and calming energy that infected the people around you. Yet, here you were completely the opposite as you looked flustered.

America wanted to step into help give you a boost of confidence and be your wing woman. However, What she didn’t realised was another person witnessing this exchange too- one in blue robes and donning a red cloak relic.

Stephen ended his class early and later learnt from Wong that you had agreed to help sub a class. He was curious to see how it went and had managed to catch five minutes of it from the side before you called for a break.

He was going to call out to you before another person got ahead of him. His eyes narrowed to the young-looking recruit whom he recognised as one from the Hong Kong division.

“Would you like to hang out sometime? Maybe tonight after class if you’re not too busy?”

A rush of emotions and thoughts flooded Stephen as his eyes fleeted between you standing awkwardly and bashful while the young recruit was trying to take his shot at you.

What did that young man just say? Why were you not saying anything back? Stephen immediately thought back to days ago where you were caught ogling at the handsome recruits.

Dread started to set into Stephen’s mind. Did you actually liked the guy enough and wanted to have your chance?

You couldn’t actually agree right? The two of you have yet to talk about the possibility of what ifs- if one of you wanted to start dating other people. Well more you than Stephen, he most definitely was not interested in others.

You didn’t even have any actual feelings for him so you would want to have night out with some young handsome lad? While Stephen’s mind was thinking of all possibilities, his gaze went back to you.

He caught your eye as you immediately turned towards him with a wide-eyed look. You bit your lips nervously and looked back to Daniel who was waiting for your eager response. Stephen and you may not have known each other for a long time, but he dared to say he knew you well enough to sense how you were feeling.

Taking long strides, Stephen placed himself right beside you and you were taken aback by the sudden proximity. Stephen puffed out his chest in a show of confidence before looking at Daniel then you.

“Y/N, I hate to interrupt but I need your help.”

“Help with what?” You asked with a baffled look before catching the twinkling in Stephen’s cerulean eyes. Without speaking, you knew what he was doing and you were so eternally grateful for him getting you out of a sticky situation (again).

“Something that requires your help.” He enunciated each word clearly.

You looked towards Daniel who was unaware of what the two of you were up to before playing along. “Ah, right of course. I would be glad to help you.”  

Turning to Daniel with an apologetic look, you put on your most sorry face. “Sorry, I gotta help Stephen with something important.”

In contrary, Daniel’s face was full of optimism. “Oh yeah of course. But we’re still on tonight?”

“What?” You let out a croak. Jealousy was brimming inside Stephen as he witnessed this foolish young man’s persistence. Couldn’t he see that you were clearly uncomfortable? This man was taking advantage of your niceness.

Unfortunately for him, Stephen was anything but nice.

“For Boba?” Silence followed after as the three of you looked between each other. Meanwhile, America felt like she was watching in the scene of a Netflix series. The tension in the situation was so sharp it could pop just like a balloon.

She really wished she could have some popcorn at this moment.

“Recruit…?” Stephen inquired with a hint of contempt.

“Cheung. Master Strange. Daniel Cheung.”

“Ah, yes. Y/N cannot make it for tonight. She will be busy with me.” Responding with a matter of fact tone, you feel one of Stephen’s arm suddenly placed around your shoulders.

Your eyes bulged at the physical contact. It wasn’t anything you’re uncomfortable with but he definitely wasn’t the touchy feely sort in front of others.

“Okay…” Daniel pondered seriously for a moment before glancing at you with a grin. “Tomorrow then?”

If it was physically possible, Stephen’s eyes would roll to the back of his head at how dense this boy was.

“Recruit Cheung. She would not be free tomorrow, the day after, not on the weekends, not next week and not anytime soon.” Stephen’s change in tone had you in shock. You were not surprised by his unfriendliness but at where you thought he might be heading with his words.

“What? Why?”

Stephen spoke to Daniel haughtily. “Because every moment she has besides work and training will be with me.”

With a smug look on his face, Stephen stated with finality. “We’re together.”

You started sputtering once you heard the words that came out of his mouth. No, Stephen! You’re supposed to keep the fake dating within the small circle- that means Bucky, Sam, Wong and eventually America!

Daniel was clearly flustered as he looked between the two of you and under the watchful eye of Stephen, he gathered the courage to speak up, “But when I see the two of you on the grounds, it didn’t seem like you were together.”

“It’s called professionalism.” Stephen rebuffed the recruit’s claim with ease. Daniel looked flabbergasted but then an invisible light bulb seemed to go off in his head.

“Ah, are you trying to help her out? Because if I were to be honest, you two don’t seem to look like a couple.”

Daniel then turned to you with a supposed understanding look. “Y/N, I know that me asking you out of the blue might have taken you by surprise but I swear that I only have good intentions.”

Stephen was clutching his fist tightly (with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around your shoulder) as he was astonished at how overly confident this young lad was. “Are you serious? I just said we are together.”

“And somehow, I don’t believe it. You’re all brooding and cold while she is all sunshine.”

Stephen was seething at how Recruit Cheung was testing his patience. The hand around your shoulder slid down before reaching to interlock with one of yours.

“What are you doing?!” You mouthed to him in panic. Stephen didn’t respond but instead started at you endearingly for a moment.

Stephen’s emotions were taking over him. This was definitely not part of your fake dating plan but he was sure as hell to prove something to Daniel Cheung.

What did he even mean by you two not looking like you belonged together?!

He saw the panic in your eyes but he knew it was too late to reverse what he said (although he was more than capable to do a simple memory erasure spell).

He just had to wing it.

Leaning down to you, Stephen planted his lips on yours and his other hand immediately went to cradle the side of your face. You were in shock at what he was doing and wanted to pull yourself away but when you felt his hot breath on your lips, your body involuntarily responded back.

What in the world were you doing?!

You let go of your hand in Stephen’s hold and placed them on his firm chest. As you felt his lips putting more pressure onto yours, you snaked both hands from his chest to around his neck. Stephen’s free hand pulled you closer by the waist and the two of you were deep in your lip lock for a few more seconds.

Stephen couldn’t believe that you were responding in kind and when your thumb brushed against his beard, it elicited an involuntary soft moan from his lips that also caused your stomach to somersault.

“What the fuc-” America let out before Wong’s voice cut into the scene. It woke both you and Stephen out of your trance. You pulled away and a soft pop could be heard from both Stephen and your lips while doing so.

You jumped at the sight of the sudden crowd of people gathering around and looked towards bashful looking Stephen whose eyes were anywhere were towards you.

Why would he even try to kiss you like that? You were still reeling from the shock of what happened before a voice shrieked.

“YOU TWO ARE DATING?!” You and Stephen looked towards the teenage girl who had a mixture of shock and giddy excitement on her face.

As all eyes were on you and Stephen, you realised that your sticky situation had gotten stickier and that now probably most of Kamar-Taj would believe that you two were dating.

------------------------//---------------------------

Tag list: @severuined @thewinterpoet2 @moraonmarz @sherlocksgirl91 @strangesweetheart @zeeader @geeky-politics-46 @evelynrosestuff @mischiefmanaged71 @singhfae @capricorn-nightmare @stilllivindue2spite @endless-starzz @strangeobsessed @tis-vereon  @eve-dusk @sleepdeprivedasever @mochuchi @lovecleastrange @glitterylokislut

[nejibaby]

Bonds and Ties (11)

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: did someone say they want a neji moment??? or was that just me? 🤪

You don’t normally dream, but when you do, it was only ever because of terrible stress. Nightmares were indicators that you weren’t faring well.

So by the moment you opened your eyes with the images of your nightmare seemingly burned under your lids, you knew you had to slow down and recoup. But knowing doesn’t exactly equate to doing, does it?

Besides, it wasn’t like you’d be able to take things easy when the dream you had was of your mother being tortured by a person in a black cloak. If anything, it would urge you to work four times as hard in order to be stronger. It was a glaring reminder telling you that you needed to be better. Not the best per se, just better. Just enough to be able to protect your family, or at least what’s left of it.

So despite the fact that you weren’t officially discharged, you had slipped out of the hospital gown and into your own clothes. You were putting on your shoes when the door to your hospital room opened abruptly.

And there stood Neji, who was surprised to see you up, catching you in the act of escaping. “What are you doing?”

At least you had the decency to look sheepish. “Uh… Leaving?”

“The medical staff said you are supposed to rest. You are not allowed to leave until tomorrow.”

“But I still have to attend the Academy!”

“You are excused from the Academy for today and tomorrow,” Neji informed you.

“What about my training?”

“No training. The reason why you are here is because you have been training nonstop without letting your body recover.”

“But—” you were about to complain about it but you got distracted when Neji made his way to sit on the chair by the bed. “Wait, what are you doing?”

Neji had a neutral facial expression but his irritation was almost palpable. It was almost like it’s seeping through his skin. “The Hokage ordered me to keep an eye on you.”

“What?! Why?”

“She saw me when I was bringing you here.”

You groaned, plopping down on the hospital bed and covering your entire body with a blanket. “Couldn’t you have chosen a different route?”

“No.”

This could not be happening. You didn’t need this right now. You didn’t need a babysitter. You had to train. You needed to hone your skills — the faster, the better.

But you knew that if you had tried to escape and the Hokage was made aware of it, you might not be allowed to hear anything about the Akatsuki ever. And you can’t risk that, not when that’s the only reason you’ve been getting up in the morning in the first place.

There was a moment of silence between the two of you, but it made you feel a little bit restless. You lowered the blanket a few centimeters beneath your eyes to peek at what Neji was doing.

In between your whining and the silence that ensued after, Neji had whipped out a scroll where he was writing something.

“What are you doing?” You asked, ever the curious person.

“A report.”

“That… that isn’t about me, right?” You chuckled awkwardly, afraid of what a brush stroke from Neji could lead to.

“No. This is for my mission yesterday.”

You nodded and kept your mouth shut.

But only for a minute.

You brought down the blanket from your face, and kept your sight locked on the ceiling. “If I can’t train, can I just help around the hospital?”

Neji paused after hearing your words. He was thinking about how you were more concerned about the other patients in the hospital and their health instead of your own.

Point was, that was such a shinobi mindset. Even if you were a civilian all your life, and even if you were not given formal education about the ninja way, you just naturally had it in you. Putting other people’s lives over your own came easy to you. It was admirable if only it wasn’t tragic, but that was the shinobi way.

“…or I can just observe,” you added when he didn’t reply. “There’s also this patient I wanted to visit.”

“I suppose we can go and observe.”

Finding Sakura and tagging with her as she treated patients was easy. But keeping your hands to yourself was an entirely different thing altogether.

You were itching to help, especially when there was an influx of outpatients that came to the hospital, but unfortunately for you, Neji informed Sakura beforehand that you weren’t allowed to touch patients and that you were only there to observe.

If there was something you picked up on so far, it was that the both of them were sticklers for the rules.

But that was buried deep into your mind when a patient who had difficulty in breathing was brought in. Sakura went to inspect the patient, and within seconds she was calling for an operating room.

“Silica inhalation,” she told you when your eyes met.

You nodded and went to the Observation Deck to watch her save the patient. It was a tricky operation, one you’ve only had the chance of reading from books, but haven’t seen nor done in person yet. It was clear she knew what to do, but it was a long and tiring operation, and it seemed like she was approaching her limit.

Luckily, the Hokage came into the room just as Sakura was about to collapse. And as if sensing your presence in the other room, she pointed at you and called you into the operating room.

It wasn’t known to you that she was still a little bit scared of the sight of blood, so she had you work alongside Shizune while she tended to Sakura instead.

Sakura had skillfully opened up the lungs to extract the inorganic compound. While she did a good job at it, it would’ve been less invasive had she extracted the compound using Earth Style technique. But there was nothing truly wrong about her strategy so you didn’t say anything.

Shizune closed up the patient upon confirming that the silica had been completely taken out, while you worked on healing the scarred lung tissues and made sure that the blood was flowing properly in the body to reverse the cyanosis.

When the operation was done, the Lady Hokage told you to coordinate with both Shizune and Sakura to write a report about the operation before releasing you for the day.

Since you weren’t an official staff of the hospital, Shizune just asked for your suggestions or insights on the surgery performed, and when you mentioned the use of Earth Style technique, she beamed at your idea and told you that she’d be adding that to the report later on.

Neji waited at a respectable distance as you talked to Shizune. And when you were done with the conversation, you went to him with a contented smile on your face.

“So how was it?” Neji asked as he walked by your side.

“I learned a lot! And it felt great to be of service! Honestly, running around the hospital and doing nothing made me feel useless.”

“You were not doing nothing, you were observing.”

“Oh, yeah, observing,” you said in air quotes.

“And you were not useless. Had you trained today or worked with the staff and used up your chakra, you would not have been able to perform the operation a while ago. You would not have been able to save that man. There’s really nothing wrong with resting. There’s nothing wrong with pausing to breathe. It’s normal.”

You paused your footsteps.

Neji’s words hit a chord in you. Those were words that you needed to hear at the moment. Although he didn’t seem to know the impact of his words to you, you were grateful.

Neji slowed down upon noticing you weren’t beside him anymore, and before he took one more step, you grabbed a hold of his sleeve.

He looked back at you with curiosity.

“I wasn’t able to thank you yet for bringing me here so thank you,” you mumbled. “And I’m sorry that you were stuck with me because of that. And I’m sorry I could be annoying when I’m restless.”

There was a moment of silence as Neji took in your words. “I didn’t mind,” he said simply.

He was expecting the conversation to end with that. And it did. But what he wasn’t expecting was to see you smile, and the fluttering feeling on his stomach upon seeing your smile.

[petertingle-yipyip]

NIGHTMARE - FOUR (BUCKY BARNES)

FOUR - TO BE SO LONELY

Last Part // Next Part // Masterlist // Y/N Suit

Tags: @writingsbychlo @bangtanxberm @ladyyystark @buckyys-doll @calums-betch @tgirljeep388 @spideysimpossiblegirl

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x HYDRA!reader

Word Count: 11,295 (i really went crazy 🤪)

Summary: The mission hits its peak and Y/N makes her choice and she lets James make his. When they walk away from each, where can Y/N go? What friends does she have left?

The next morning, you two were leaving the SHIELD facility. The helicarriers were already in the air so you two had to find your own way up, which wouldn’t be a problem. You were crossing the flight deck when a handful of pilots were already on their way. 

“We’re the only air support Captain Rogers has got.” He said into the walkie.

You and the Winter Soldier began firing down the planes before most pilots could get into them. A few had someone in them when you took them down. You tossed the larger gun aside and switched to one of your hand guns. You liked the smaller gun because it was easier to maneuver and allowed for one hand use.

A grenade rolled to your feet but your hands were full with a SHIELD agent. Instead, you whistled sharply to get your partner’s attention. Once he looked, you kicked it to him where he could catch it and throw it into the loading bay of one of the jets.

“We need a way up!” You told him as you met with him near one of the last jets. “Take your pick.”

He climbed to the top and shot the pilot through the glass before ripping the side door off. You went to the open side and used the suction in your gloves to stay on the side while you stood in the open space. Lucky for you, your partner was a great pilot.

You dropped off the jet before he landed. Hooking your wire to your wrist, you shot it around the step rail and jumped off. You retracted your wire with a few feet to spare so you rolled through your landing and hopped to your feet. You weren’t even paying attention to if he did land or if he simply bailed out, so you pressed your back against a stack of crates while you waited for the Winter Soldier to meet you at your position.

“You’re a lot heavier than you look.” You heard Steve’s friend say.

“I had a big breakfast.” Steve answered.

You two moved at the same time, him going to the Captain and you going for the friend. The Winter Soldier shoulder-checked Steve off the edge of the helicarrier and you tackled his friend to the ground. He rolled and hopped to his feet, running after Steve. You were right behind him, grabbing one of his wings while your partner grabbed the other. You both pulled at the same time and flipped him in the opposite direction before he began shooting.

Your partner flipped acrobatically to avoid the bullets while you simply slid on the side of your leg to take cover. You pulled one of the explosives from your belt and set the charge once you saw him head back to Steve. You waited a moment to time it and lazily threw it, watching it go off right beside him to throw him off balance.

Your partner used the wiring pack you usually used to catch yourselves after a sudden fall. It latched to one of the wings so he could pull the man back to the ground and towards you two. Pulling a knife from your holster, you ran to where he landed with your partner right behind you. You slammed the knife into the base of the wing and angled it towards his flight pack before yanking down to snap the wing off.

Once the man was on his feet, you spun on your knees out of the way so your partner could land a solid front kick and send him plummeting over the edge. You waited to watch only for a moment, some deep part of you almost thankful that he had a chute.

You frowned in annoyance before nodding to the Winter Soldier to keep moving once you noticed Captain America had found a landing to catch himself on. You two made your way to the lowest level easily, waiting for Rogers to show. As you waited the few minutes, maybe less, there was a question dancing in your brain, but you couldn’t quite piece it together. Was it a question that Nightmare needed to ask or something Y/N was trying to get out? Either way, there wasn’t enough time to figure it out.

“People are gonna die, Buck.” Rogers tried to reason with the man he still believed to be his friend. “I can’t let that happen.”

“He’s not who you think he is.” You spoke from his side, hood drawn and knife in hand. “Not anymore. You can’t save him.”

“Please don’t make me do this.” He nearly begged and you felt something sharp in your brain, like a sharp crowbar trying to split your brain in two. “I know you’re better than this, Nightmare.”

It was a reaction to his words, as if the sentiment had sparked something in you as well. You winced inwardly but made no really outward response. You gripped your blade tighter, surely tight enough to turn your knuckles white. You turned your head and let out a strangled groan, drawing your partner’s attention for a moment. You shook it off quickly and tried to recover.

“People have already died.” You said simply as you waved your knife, as if to be some display of how casual it was. “Are you willing to die with them?” You pointed your blade at him.

“No.” He shook his head and you scoffed. “But I’ll die for them.” He corrected.

“How noble.” You rolled your eyes and flipped your blade. “Let’s see if you keep your word.”

The Captain was the first to act, throwing his shield towards you. The Winter Soldier stepped in front of you and blocked the disc with his metal arm so it bounced back to Rogers. He fired a close round that was deflected off the shield, exchanging blows until he could graze him with a shot. The Captain slammed his shield into your partner's chest, sending him crashing to his back.

You jumped in then after tucking your blade away for the moment once you realized it would be close quarters and you’d need to get that shield away from him if you wanted to have a real chance at completing your mission. You spun a hard hook hick that connected with the Captain’s jaw. You left no time in between and went with a combination of body shots and punctuated it with a sharp upper cut that sent him stumbling back. With the new distance between you, you moved into a slide to hook your feet around his ankles. With a hard twist of your hips, you slammed him to his back.

You got yourself to a kneel and placed your weight on the Captain’s chest as you reached for your knife again. That was your best chance to complete your mission and be done. A blade through the chest wasn’t your usual style but then again, this wasn’t your usual target. You were greeted with a sharp left hook that sent you falling to the side just as your partner was coming to your aid. You groaned in annoyance as you got yourself back up to find another opening. The two fought in an almost choreographed way, countering each other without much of a thought until Rogers was able to get breathing room and unlock the chip boards

You closed the distance and threw an arm around his neck from behind with your back against him. You had intended to flip him over so you could follow and be done with the damn thing, but his reaction was quicker than you expected. He reached back and grabbed at your cloak, using it to throw you over his shoulder and into the Winter Soldier. Your head also smacked the metal flooring, making you feel like your whole brain was thrown around in your skull.

Your partner groaned in annoyance as he roughly shoved you off him. You kicked at his leg slightly as you scooted away to lean against one of the metal railings.

“Oh shut it.” You complained and winced as you stretched out the tight feeling in your back from the collision. You were sure your body hit his metal arm before you hit the floor. “You think I like being used as a projectile? Just get the damn thing done already.” You rolled your eyes, trying to shake the vertigo and now building pressure in your head.

He ignored your comment and jumped back into the fight. You, however, needed a minute to find your focus. You leaned against the railing, gripping it tightly to maintain your balance, while you tried to settle the uneven feeling in your brain. You pounded your fist against the railing in a rhythmic pattern as you tried to gather your wits.

You heard your trigger words echoing in your brain, like the words were bouncing off your skull. You could hear James’ voice from that first night so many years ago, like a distant memory that was calling you back. It quite literally felt like Y/N was clawing her way out, literal streaks of pain burning through your head.

You had to push through the haze in your mind when you saw your partner tackle Steve over the railing. You hopped over soon after, landing on a lower level platform just before the glass bottom. You moved in tandem with the Winter Soldier, you two alternating as to who would throw the punch. You ducked quickly so he could land a hard backhand that sent Steve sliding down to the edge of the platform. You both dropped to slide down and meet him, but while the Winter Soldier jumped to throw punches, you stayed low to take his feet out from under him.

Once he kicked your partner's legs from under him and sent him towards the glass, you went between the Captain’s legs. You wrapped an arm around the back of his knee and used the other to grip his belt. While your hands found their grip, you positioned your feet beneath you. You pushed yourself forward, using your shoulder to brace you against the ground and control your somersault. Your hold on the Captain sent him in a backwards fall and you quickly released your hold and attempted to control your own fall.

You landed on your back with a hard thud and your head seemed to bounce and land twice. You thought you heard a crack, and you couldn’t place if it was the glass or your skull. You realized how close you landed to the shield so without much effort, you tossed it to the Winter Soldier so he could use it. You followed him back into the fringe quickly, even though every step led to another pounding pain in your head. He knocked the flying shield away from you two and you quickly spun to fling a knife at Steve in return. It buried itself deep in his shoulder and caused him to let out a groan of pain. Once you all met up and he was too worried about your partner’s incoming blade, you took advantage of the distraction.

You forced your knife deeper, practically scratching his bone. He cried out again and slammed an elbow into your nose before landing two head butts against your partner. The Winter Soldier shoved the Captain away while you turned and saw the SHIELD chip that he was supposed to install. The Captain was on you quickly after putting substantial distance between you two and your partner, grabbing you by your throat and lifting you off the ground.

You gasped slightly, kicking your feet to find some sort of footing but came up empty. You were flipped to your back with your arm now twisted outward and a hand pushing your face away. You kept a firm grip on the card while calculating a way to break the hold.

“Drop it!” He struggled to say. When you refused, he yanked your arm harder and you exclaimed in pain. “DROP IT!”

You had gotten your feet under you and jumped up, tucking your knees in an attempt to flip yourself and Rogers. As you were in the air, the Captain dropped to his back with a grip on your wrist still and moved a forearm to be across your throat. You could feel your lungs struggling to get enough air. When you tried to peel his opposing hand away, he used his leg to pin that arm.

You tried to call for your partner, to yell for help, but you had no air to speak. You thrashed violently and tried to throw your legs over your head and roll backwards but every movement was blocked by the Captain’s heavy musculature. You felt a sharp pain in your head before you gave in and let yourself fall nearly unconscious, the tech slipping from your hand with a small clatter.

Your partner got to your side as Rogers was making his way back up.  He checked your pulse when he got to you and felt a sense of relief to find you were still alive. He didn’t quite understand it himself but he knew he didn’t want to go back without you. He knelt beside you and had lifted you to be leaning against his upraised knee and he kept your arm draped over his waist so you wouldn’t slip back down. While waiting for you to come back, he fired a shot into Rogers’ leg. The next one he fired got his arm. The sound of the gun and the smell of gunpowder was enough to bring you back.

As you were getting a feel for your surroundings, your blurry vision cleared and you felt a dissipating pressure in your head, like a ripple clearing through a lake. The cold feeling of his metal arm through your shirt sent a shiver down your spine and you looked up to see his attention wasn’t on you. It didn’t take long to realize Y/N was back in charge. The loss of consciousness must’ve served to reset your brain and allow you to return to normal. 

You tried to remember what you were doing, what your assignment was. Once James looked down at you and you saw relief flash in his eyes, you pieced together everything. You were supposed to kill Captain America and you had nearly done it.

“I’m okay.” You said as you got back to your feet, a bit shakily. “Good to know you care… At least a little bit.”

He almost smiled when he looked at you. When he stood, you noticed a wobble in his movement and with a quick scan, you saw the injury to his leg. You ducked under his arm almost instantly once you noticed and helped support him, despite the wild look he gave you. It was as if he didn’t know why you would help him while the mission was so clearly incomplete or maybe because he knew you were relatively hurt yourself. He likely still expected you to be the unfettered version of Nightmare, the version who didn’t care who got hurt during a mission so long as the job got done. You didn’t explain anything because you didn’t think you had time and he didn’t give you a chance.

He lifted his gun and fired one more shot, hitting the Captain square in his stomach. You gasped lightly, watching blood stain his uniform. You felt a deep sadness in your chest, almost enough to make you cry. It was the same kind of sadness that hit your heart when you watched James fall.

Did James really just kill his best friend?

You saw Steve struggle through his mission, replacing the tech before collapsing. It just wasn’t worth it to try and stop him anymore, nor was it fair to kick a man while he’s down. You let out a small sigh of relief and turned your attention back to your partner.

“We need to get out of here.” You said gently. 

Before you two could find a way out, the helicarriers began firing at each other. A huge metal support beam had fallen where you two were standing. James had quickly shoved you away, leaving himself pinned. He yelled out in pain and that actually made the tears well up in your eyes. You moved quickly to jump over the beam and get your hands beneath it.

“You idiot.” You said in a panic as you found a place to position your fingers. You tried to lift it yourself but you couldn’t. Every time you had your feet beneath you for leverage, your boots were slipping against the glass. You weren’t strong enough. 

 “Why can’t you look out for yourself for once?”

“We look out for each other.” He said quickly, as if it should’ve been obvious.

Desperately, you looked around and saw Steve looking from the catwalk above. You saw concern in his eyes but also uncertainty. You didn’t blame him for being unsure but you needed the guy who still believed in James, the guy who believed in Y/N.

“Please, help me.” You cried as the tears fell steadily down your cheeks. You glanced over at James and saw him trying to contain his pain, only groans escaping as he tried to free himself. “Please!” Your voice broke. “I can’t lose him again!”

“Just go.” James muttered.

“I’m not leaving you.” You shook your head as you desperately surveyed the scene and tried to figure something out.

“Nightm-“

“Forget the mission! I don’t care about that!” You shouted as you saw Steve making his way over. “I’m not leaving without you. I’m not going back there if you’re not coming with me.”

You saw the uncertainty in his eyes as Steve approached and he began again to try and push it off himself. Even with his assistance, the two of you couldn’t get it up enough for him to get out.

“What do you mean, again?” Steve asked breathlessly when he made it to you.

“We don’t have time for my life story.” You groaned and you did your part to lift. James was able to climb out and you dropped it with a couple heavy breaths. “Just know that I’m not really the devil they made me to be.”

You pushed yourself across the glass to be beside James. You put both hands on his cheeks and turned his head to look at you. You chuckled in nervous relief before - without thinking - you threw your arms over his shoulders. He tensed quickly before a subtle melt as one arm came around you gingerly.

“You know me.” Steve told James once you had backed away.

“No I don’t!” He yelled angrily, throwing a solid punch to Steve’s jaw that threw him to the ground.

“You do!” You added suddenly, finally revealing that truth to him. James looked at you in shock, disbelief as you continued. “That is Steve Rogers. He’s your best friend.”

“Bucky.” Steve continued. “You’ve known me your whole life.” Another swing, a desperate attempt to shut Steve up.

“Your name-“ Steve added, refusing to give up on his friend. “-is James Buchanan Barnes.”

“Shut up!” He cried in pure desperation.

“James.” You tried calmly. He turned on you quickly with wide eyes. You held a hand out in front of you, an offering for him to take and to go with you. “It’s true. Please believe me. I should’ve told you sooner, I know. But if you come with me, we can-”

He shoved you away towards Steve, who threw off his helmet and dropped his shield before helping you to your feet so you avoided the huge gaps in the glass that you nearly went through. You looked at him in shock but he wasn’t looking at you. His eyes were locked on his friend.

“I’m not gonna fight you.” He said finally. “You’re my friend.”

James made a quick move to tackle Steve. The two landed dangerously close to a huge opening in the glass.

“You’re our mission.” James said firmly, as if to convince himself more than anyone else.

He landed punch after punch after punch, but Steve made no effort to fight back despite the sickly noise that the collision of flesh and metal made. You hurried to kneel at their side and caught James’ fist with both hands, trying to hold the metal arm back and keep yourself on solid ground.

“Don’t do this.” You pleaded gently.

“Then finish it.” Steve said weakly. You looked over your shoulder and saw the swelling and the blood across Steve’s face. “Cause I’m with you till the end of the line.”

You saw the realization set in, the fear of what he had done set in. You took that opportunity to push him off of Steve but it was too late. The helicarrier above had collapsed and shattered what was left of the glass. You were all sent tumbling to the water below. You tried to find James as you were going down, but all you saw was the debris. You turned to find Steve but saw no one.

You quickly brought your hand to your mask and triggered the release as you repositioned your body so you’d enter the water feet first. You doubted you’d be able to survive under water with it on and you tucked it into your belt and flattened your arms at your side just as you hit the water. You didn’t really know why you made sure to keep it since you didn’t plan on returning to HYDRA, but something about that mask floating around didn’t feel right to you.

You made your way to the shoreline and moved into the bushes. You coughed slightly, trying to clear the water and smoke from your lungs. You heard the sounds of footsteps behind you so you crouched down and halted your noises. You saw James dragging Steve out of the water and you were flooded with relief, so much so that you nearly revealed yourself, your mask long forgotten. That relief was short-lived when you saw him drop Steve and keep going.

He didn’t turn back. He made a small circle and glanced at his surroundings but he didn’t really look for you. He didn’t call out for you. He was leaving and he didn’t care to see if you had survived. You didn’t get up and go after him either. Maybe it was better for him to have some time to himself… With a heavy heart, you let him walk away.

“Goodbye, James.” You said to yourself as you began to leave the area. You’d need to get some dry clothes and get out of your Nightmare suit as soon as possible. “Hopefully, this isn’t where our story line ends…”

You had walked by Steve’s hospital room the next day, bare faced with nothing to hide. You didn’t go in, knowing that would be harder to explain, but you were happy to know he survived and Sam was looking out for him. You watched the news stories of all the HYDRA operatives that were caught by the FBI and you watched Natasha Romanoff’s trial on Capitol Hill. You had respected her before but after that, you were impressed as well. You appreciated her confidence.

While the world searched for Nightmare and the Winter Soldier, you knew they wouldn’t find either of you, even if all of HYDRA’s information on you two were available to the public. They plastered your masked photos all over the news and on the internet, but they had no name. They had no face. The world has nothing but proof of a ghost.

What you didn’t know, not immediately at least, was that Steve was going to keep looking for you and James. You wouldn’t know that until about a year later and given that lapse of information, you were relatively surprised no one found you in that time. But it’s hard to find somewhere to start when there’s nothing real to grasp. You kept tabs on James during that time, always knowing the general area he was in.

You had planned on meeting up with him as yourself and telling him everything. And if he didn’t believe you, you’d show him everything. You still had all of your Nightmare equipment because you didn’t trust the idea of getting rid of it. If someone found it and recreated that persona, it’d be your fault if that person got hurt when your enemies chased the mask. If whatever scraps were left of HYDRA tried to recreate it, that’d be even worse. So you kept it stashed away. Besides, you never knew when you might need it or what you could repurpose if you ever decided to be a hero instead. Maybe it was just a reminder of where you came from, something nostalgic to prove to yourself that you weren’t just a trained killer.

It was easy enough to find Sam Wilson, the man you learned to have been Steve’s new friend in the fight. You didn’t have to corner him in a back alley or creep through his window. You didn’t have to do extensive, covert research on him and hood wings and his military past. You simply met up with him at his gym.

You had gotten a membership there a couple weeks ago but it seemed like your workout schedules didn’t quite overlap. So you tried different times on different days - using that time to keep up your strength and embarrass the pervert men that started- until finally, you two crossed paths. He was the one to strike up the conversation, which worked for you because you hadn’t figured out a way to say “Stop looking for those two” without it sounding threatening.

“I gotta say. and I mean this in the best possible way-” He began when he reached you.

“Not a great way to start a conversation.” You chuckled as you were adding plates to the bar for your bench press.

“You’ve gotta be a lot stronger than you look.” Sam continued with a small bow.

“Oh, yeah.” You laughed. You laid on the bench and began positioning your hands. “I guess it’s genetics. All the strength but none of the typical bulk..”

“This I gotta see, if you don’t mind.”

“You can spot me if you really don’t believe me.” You commented with a shrug, though you knew you wouldn’t need a spot. You braced your core and lifted the bar off the pegs. “If you think you can handle it, that is.” You teased.

You got through your reps easily and reracked the bar before sitting back up. Sam nodded to you in respect while he leaned his elbows across the bar.

“Okay.” He laughed. “I’m impressed. You training for something specific or is this Olympic level lifting a casual hobby? Oh, let me guess. You’re an Avenger?”

You had to laugh at that. “Actually, in case I ever meet with an old flame of mine…” You said carefully as you sat up from under the bar. “Him and/or his best friend.”

“You in some sort of trouble?”

“No, not at all.” You dismissed his concern with a wave of your hand. “I know how it sounds but he wouldn’t hurt me. I’ve known him a long time and it’s just always been an up and down kind of relationship, y’know?” You shrugged before continuing. “But uh, now that you mention it, you might be.. In trouble, that is.

“Uh- Okay… I’m gonna need a little more than that.” Suddenly, the light conversation was replaced with mild hostility as he leaned away and crossed his arms.

“Just hear me out, please?” You tried with your hands up in surrender, to which he motioned for you to continue. “You’re Sam Wilson, right?” You asked and he nodded. “And you’re asking around about the Winter Soldier and Nightmare, right? You and Captain Rogers.”

“Do you know something about them?”

“Pretty much anything and everything.” You shrugged. “So believe me when I say that they’re not the type of people you find. They’ll find you if they want anything to do with you.” A perfect example was the current meeting. “And is not always a pleasant interaction.”

“Mhmm.” He nodded slowly in disbelief. “And how would you know that?”

“That may not be as easy to explain.” You laid back beneath the bar. “Especially if you’re going to run and tell Captain Rogers what I say. I’d hate for my story to be misconstrued and have him turned against me.”

“How about you come tell him yourself?” He offered as you lifted your bar and leaned over you. “There’s a party at Avengers Tower tomorrow night. If you can make it, I’m sure Steve would love to hear your story. It could help a lot, ‘specially if it comes straight from you and if you have as much insight as you claim.”

“Yeah.. I’ll think about it.” You agreed before finishing your set and heading to the locker room.

You figured it was as good a time as any to meet up with Steve, tell him you were still alive and give him a parallel idea of what happened, because you knew deep down that not even you could hide from him forever. If you told him you were Nightmare, you deeply believed that he would hate you for it and it was fair. Nightmare had been involved in a lot in regards to him and his best friend. She had nearly got both of those boys killed. So maybe you’d leave that part out. For now at least…

You arrived at the Tower the next night, wearing a sleek and short black party dress that had a long sleeve on the left side and no sleeve on the right. You bought the dress months ago because it reminded you of James. Under the dress, you had a single blade in your thigh holster, just in case things went sideways. Obviously you wouldn’t kill any of the Avengers, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d need it. You also brought one of your old notebooks, filled with designs for your equipment and notes on James’ status.

You wandered the crowd, eyes searching for Sam or Steve. You saw practically every other Avenger as you crossed the room, catching bits and pieces of different stories and conversations. When you didn’t find them among the bustling crowd, you moved to the bar, where you found Natasha. You leaned on the bar-top and conversated lightly with her.

“Ms. Romanoff.” You smiled. “I saw your work against the Winter Soldier and Nightmare back in D.C. and I have to say, it was impressive.”

“Well.” She smiled widely at your flattery. You realized that was the first time you had seen her smile, and she was rather pretty. “They definitely didn’t make it easy. They’re good, not gonna lie, but not even they could kill me.”

“No, of course not.” You laughed. “And that- that shooting at him from the shadow of the bridge? Genius! He never saw it coming! And I adored your response at your Capitol Hill trial.”

“You sure know your stuff.” She said with a mild accusation. “Who’d you come with? I’ve uh, never seen you around before.”

“Sam Wilson invited me, actually.” You tapped your book against your palm. “I have what he and Captain Rogers have been looking for.”

“Ah, I see… I’m assuming you’re on their side. But how do you have that?” Her eyebrow quirked in a teasing challenge. “If I may ask.”

“I knew Steve before the war, when he was still the 95 pound asthmatic lying on his enlistment form.” You smiled honestly. “And I just happen to have a great skin care regimen. No one would ever guess I’m about a hundred years old.”

She laughed loudly before pointing to the upper level. “Your guys should be up there. I think they’ll be very happy to talk to you. I told them not to tug that string, but you know men. They never listen.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” You chuckled.

“It should be fun though.” She winked and passed a full shot glass your way.

“I’m sure it will be.” You sighed, not really looking forward to it. You nodded in thanks before downing the drink and heading up the stairs hesitantly.

You approached the guys slowly, suddenly feeling nervous as the distance closed. You weren’t completely sure how the night would go and the uncertainty set your nerves on edge. You had the book behind your back as you finished closing the distance, taking a deep breath to settle your nerves. Your brain quickly flipped through your worst case scenarios and all the reasons you had to justify your fears. This was the moment you had waited decades for, to stand before Steve and tell him you weren’t dead. That he wasn’t alone. But you didn’t quite know how much of the truth you could bring yourself to reveal. You’d just have to figure it out as you went along.

“Excuse me?” You said in a small voice that shocked you. You cleared your throat and spoke with more confidence. “Steve? Sam? Hi.”

“Hey.” Sam turned to you and smiled. “Steve, this is the girl I was telling you about from my gym. The one that might be able to help us with our missing persons cases.”

“Wait… I know you.” Steve pointed out after a moment of silent examination of your features. “We met at the- the museum, right? Yeah, you were at Bucky’s little corner.”

“Actually, we met a little while before that… We met when you were enlisting.” You corrected carefully, though your mind was screaming about a more recent interaction that had nearly killed the three of you. “I went dancing with your pretty best friend after and the rest, I guess, is history.”

“No way.” He smiled in disbelief. “Y/N?”

“Like Y/N Y/N?” Sam asked with wide eyes. “Like the first friend you ever had after Bucky, Y/N?”

“Yeah.” You smiled widely and nodded excitedly. His own excitement was enough to extinguish the fire of your nerves momentarily. “It's me.”

You held your arms out and he moved in for the hug. You felt a huge rush of relief as you wrapped your arms around him. It was immensely comforting to have that hug in those moments. He pulled away and looked at you wildly, still in disbelief.

“Wait, was I really your first friend?” You chuckled teasingly.

“Yup.” He nodded proudly. “And I’m glad it was you.”

“Such a softie.” You joked and nudged him with your elbow. 

“Why didn’t you say anything that day?” He asked. “And why couldn’t I find you before?”

“Well…” You said with a nervous chuckle. “Cervantes isn’t my last name. It was just a cover… My last name is actually Y/L/N.”

“Huh.” Steve huffed. “Why would you need a cover?”

“To make a long story kinda short, I couldn’t say anything before.” You said honestly. “Since before I met you and James, I was working for HYDRA. It started with my parents but when they were killed on assignment, I had nowhere else to go so I was practically born into it… Those walls were all I knew up until you and Miss Romanoff publicized everything and HYDRA pretty much collapsed, save for the random outpost here and there.”

“That must’ve been an interesting childhood.” Sam commented.

“There was nothing in those files about you.” Steve pointed out.

“Yeah, no kidding.” You agreed before turning to Steve. “I was basically a glorified secretary when I wasn’t being used as a spy so there was no reason to associate me with anything and risk my covers.”

You were relatively surprised at how easy the lies came from you, but it was what you originally trained for after all.

“I was given the same serum injections that were pulled from the Red Skull’s blood before they gave it to James and Nightmare. I had the skill, just not the killer instinct they wanted so they scrapped me from the Winter Soldier program and used me as a scientist instead.” You handed them the notebook. “Said my brain was worth more than my fists so that’s what I contributed.”

“What’s this?” Steve asked as he took the book and thumbed through the pages carefully.

“One of my log books.” You explained. “I was in charge of designing all of Nightmare’s equipment and tracking James’ progress as the Winter Soldier so a lot of what you see in there is gonna be familiar… I know it doesn’t talk about where he is now but maybe you can understand him better if you ever see him again. You might actually be able to help him with that.”

“Did you always know they wanted him?” Steve said as he thumbed through the pages.

“You didn’t scout him for HYDRA, did you?” Sam suggested.

“No and definitely no.” You said honestly. “I was in New York that night to scout out Howard Stark. I didn’t know they had him until after they told me about the train incident. I thought he was dead but then they brought him in and told me I was to understand him and record as much as possible. I guess they wanted more than one Winter Soldier, but I didn’t see the point in that since they had Nightmare already but.” You shrugged. “God, nothing was worse than the first time seeing what they did to his arm.”

“Speaking of Nightmare… What’s her deal?” Sam asked, leaning over Steve’s shoulder to look at the pages.

“Very secretive..” You began. It was nice to tell some truths, even if there were a few omissions. “She didn’t trust anyone to know her real name or see her full face, not even me and we were the closest thing to friends you could find in HYDRA. For both of them - even though it was done differently - there’s ways to trigger those HYDRA personas of the Winter Soldier and Nightmare. They each have trigger phrases that set them off like a switch, a specific set of words in a specific language in a specific order.”

“What made them treat Nightmare different?”

“She was more compliant because she really had nothing to fight for.” You shrugged. “Or maybe it was just because she was the Red Skull’s favorite. She also had nothing outside of HYDRA to my understanding, but she wanted more. So she figured if she did what she was told, she’d be able to get away with retirement somewhere down the road.”

“That explains why she helped me back in the war. She helped me get Bucky out the first time and told me where to find Schmidt.” Steve nodded, stuck on one page. He turned the book to show you and it was the design for Nightmare’s mask. “How did hers never come off?”

“With all the aerials and the stunts she likes to pull, I had to develop very strong and particular magnets.” You explained. “There was a lining in the collar of her top that would interact with the magnetic polarity of her mask. There were specialized sensors in the mask that were triggered by the fingertips of her gloves to release. Nothing else can break that magnetic pull.”

“And you came up with that on your own?” Sam asked, wide eyed and brows raised. “She might give Tony a run for his money.”

“Yeah.” You laughed nervously. “I uh- I had a lot of free time.”

“This could help us a lot. We can add it to the file we already have. Thank you.” Steve waved your book. 

“What file?”

“A friend of ours called in a favor from- Where was it?”

“Kiev.” Sam answered.

“Natasha helped you.” You nodded slowly. “Look, I just want to do right by you and James…” You sighed sadly. “I really hated being there. I would’ve gotten out so much sooner if they didn’t take him. I’m still not sure if they knew that I liked him or if it was just coincidence. Either way, I stayed because I felt like I could protect him until I could get us out… Guess I did a pretty shit job of that.”

“Hey.” Steve said softly, handing Sam the book and putting an arm over your shoulders. “You helped him the best you could. What matters now is what you can do for him when we find him… You’re gonna stay around till we find him, right?”

“I don’t think I can face him, Steve.” You nearly whispered, shaking your head quickly. “I’ve done a lot of morally questionable things and I’ve hurt him. I’ve hurt both of you and-”

“We aren’t always dealt the best hand. So yeah, we all make mistakes.” Sam tried. “We gotta learn from them and keep moving.”

“I don’t know why I feared this so much.” You admitted with a nervous laugh. “I was scared you’d hate me for how I’ve lied and how I hurt people you care about.”

“There’s times when we don’t have a choice.” He said comfortingly. “I can’t hold that against you.”

“Thanks, Steve.” You smiled honestly for what felt like the first time in decades. “I’m really glad to have you back.”

You stayed for the rest of the party and Steve convinced you to hang out with the rest of the Avengers afterwards, “to make up for lost time” as he put it. Thor even gave you some of his fancy Asgardian liquor, which surprisingly gave you the slight dizzy feeling drinking used to give you. You laughed as they all tried to lift Thor’s hammer, the game you adamantly refused. Your gray and ambiguous morality was its own answer.

Tony didn’t believe you were actually friends with Steve, claiming you were too much fun to know him. You noticed Steve gave you a strange look when you hid your face behind your hand when you nearly choked on your drink from laughing at some jab Natasha took at Tony. You ignored it but you couldn’t get rid of the paranoia that he saw the resemblance to Nightmare. Did he really figure you out that easily?

It wasn’t until a mangled Iron Legion bot came into the room and changed the tone of the gathering completely. They tried talking to it, trying to understand what it was saying. Steve stood in front of you and you sighed inwardly in annoyance. Discreetly, you slid your fingers beneath the hem of your dress and pulled your knife out, gripping it tightly with a reverse grip.

Once the other bots crashed through the wall, you took a couple steps back. You timed your move and found an opening. As one of the bots flew past you, you raised your hand to catch its wrist. Once you had a grip, you jumped up and pulled yourself to be on its back. You hooked your fingers under the chest plate and wrapped one leg around the waist, using the other leg to lock around that ankle. You wondered if you were accidentally flashing everyone else in the room, but figured they were all too busy to notice anyway. And if they did notice, well…Oops.

You slammed your knife into the gap between its arm and shoulder, using it as a lever to break the arm off. You held your knife between your teeth while you wrapped the arm around the neck and yanked the head free. You crashed to the ground hard but rolled through it and came up in a crouch to survey the rest of the scene. For good measure, you slammed the blade through the chest, twisted, and pulled it back to tuck it away, all without taking your eyes away from the chaos in front of you. 

“We’re keeping her!” You heard Tony yell aa you were re-positioning the fabric at your thighs. You turned and saw him dismantling his own bot with something like a butter knife, or maybe a letter opener. An ice pick? He crashed to the stairs once he succeeded so you moved to help him to his feet. “Can we keep you?”

“Avenging isn’t really my thing.” You said simply, looking at what remained. You saw the last bot eyeing Steve and also saw his shield across the room.

You hurried over and stomped your foot on the edge to flip it up to your hand.

“Heads up, Rogers!” You called before flinging the shield to him. He caught it easily and launched it through the center of the last bot.

The original Legion bot - Ultron - began giving another monologue about change and peace and how the Avengers aren’t good for the world. The Avengers needed to become extinct. You had picked up one of the broken table legs off the couch, deciding it could be more effective than your knife, though it did its job. You had pulled it out again, maybe more of a comfort than anything.

“You.” It pointed at you. “You don’t belong here.”

“Same could be said about you, Tin Man.” You answered smoothly. “What’s your point?”

“You think you can hide?” He taunted, causing your blood to boil and your muscles to tense. “You think you can switch back and forth whenever it suits you? No bec-“

You cut his words short, spinning outward to gain momentum and flicking your knife through the center of its head. You followed with using the table leg like a javelin and sending it through its center. You sighed loudly, knowing it connected you to your past somehow. You knew your disguise wasn’t perfect but it was a hit to your ego to see a robot figure it out.

“Sorry, should I have let him finish?” You joked after Thor threw his hammer to punctuate your previous assaults.

“Seriously, we need to keep her.” Tony said, pointing at you. “Imagine how useful she would’ve been against Loki.”

“No offense guys, but I wanted out of the fight.” You said carefully. “Good luck with all of that.” You motioned to the pile of scraps.

“We could use your help, Y/N.” Steve tried.

“I’m sorry, Steve.” You shook your head and began heading to the elevator. You stopped off at the shattered Ultron bot to reclaim your knife. “I already told you I didn’t have what it took.”

“That’s not what I saw.” He challenged.

“Then you weren’t really looking.”

“Wait.” He tried. The rest began to leave the room, following Tony. You didn’t know if they were giving you two privacy or if they were going to try and figure the situation out. “That thing pointed at you specifically. Any idea why?”

“It connected me to HYDRA?” You shrugged. “Or maybe it could tell I’m not and shouldn’t be an Avenger. I don’t know and I don’t want to know. I’m done.”

“Something tells me you’re leaving out quite a bit of your past.” He challenged slightly. “Because I saw some very similar things that contradict some of what you already said.”

“Yes, I am leaving things out.” You answered simply. You assumed it told the truth without actually saying it. “And I’m doing it for good reason so I suggest you leave it alone.”

“Help us with this and maybe I will.”

“You expect me to jump on this grenade for a maybe?” You laughed.

“I’m hoping you’ll do it for a friend.”

You paused. Your list of friends was rather short nowadays, though it always had been. It was your own doing. You knew that. But that didn’t make it any easier to handle. To go through everything you had, and to do it alone, it took a toll on a person. But you didn’t have to be alone anymore. No one was pulling your strings. 

“Damn you, Rogers.” You sighed before holding a hand out for him to shake. “You’re lucky I don’t have many friends right now and I like having you around.”

“Maybe you’ll like us all enough to stay.” He chuckled before shaking your hand and nodding for you to follow. You two met up with the rest of the Avengers in Tony’s lab where they were talking about Ultron and had an orange hologram on display.

“This isn’t strategy.” Dr. Banner explained. “This is rage.”

“Can I see what the original programming looked like?” You asked, examining the hologram. “Code doesn’t just disappear, not completely. You guys know that and if- sorry, what was his name?”

“JARVIS.” Tony answered as he pulled up the original structure. “You don’t think Ultron would’ve absorbed whatever was left of his code?”

“Right, JARVIS. Ultron could’ve done that but if JARVIS was as deeply integrated into the building as I assume he is, Ultron couldn’t just walk out the door with him in his pocket without triggering some sort of response. My guess is that a good handful of systems would’ve shut down and made their collapse known.” You continued as you moved the holograms to overlap. “There’s a core code to JARVIS right, same as any system? And it doesn’t look like there’s any pieces of that here.. Meaning that potentially, there’s still a whole lot of JARVIS somewhere in your systems, if not the entirety of his core matrix.”

There was a moment of silence while everyone processed your words. Steve looked at you like you were speaking a different language while Natasha nodded slightly with an impressed smirk on her face. Bruce and Tony stared with slack jaws before Tony turned back to the hologram to think before facing you again.

“Where did you say you were from again?” Tony looked at you in bewilderment. “Because you are like the third smartest person in the room and I find it hard to believe I’ve never met you before. And you’re friends with Capsicle? Nah, I’m not buying it.”

“I didn’t say yet.” You smiled proudly. Something about Tony Stark being impressed by your intelligence felt a lot better than being praised for spilling blood. “But Brooklyn. What I can’t piece together is how this even happened. Ultron recognized you guys because you’re Avengers so you’d be in his database, and you’re a very public and popular team. But how did he seem to know anything about me when I’ve been underground for decades?”

“Well he’s been in surveillance, files, pretty much everything.” Natasha explained. “Escaped through the internet.”

“Which means he matched me to her photos.” You muttered to yourself before pressing a palm to your forehead out of stress.

“Okay.” You sighed and dropped your hand to smack your leg. “So Ultron found some trace of my work deep down.. But that stuff is long since buried. How could he reach it?”

“Loki’s Scepter.” Steve answered. “Maybe it gave him some sort of insight?”

“We weren’t even close to integration!” Tony defended.

“You toyed with the Scepter and you made Ultron by accident?” You questioned. “That’s probably worse than doing it on purpose. At least what Strucker did with the Scepter, he owned up to.”

“How do you know what-“ Tony tried to challenge.

“Oh my god!” You interrupted. “I’m old. I know a lot of people. Moving on. I didn't get how Ultron could pick me out of the crowd but now I do.. That Scepter gave him more understanding and power than you could possibly guess.”

“Y/N?” Steve tried. “What do you know about the Scepter?”

“Pretty much nothing.” You shrugged. “All I know is it enhanced these twins, the Maximoffs. It’s powerful and has similar properties to the Tesseract. Anything after that, I’m as in the dark as you guys are. Strucker did his work well after I was gone. You guys want my suggestion? We need to find him before he finds us, that way he can’t be ready.”

“The world’s a big place.” Steve agreed. “Let’s start making it smaller.”

Days later, a lot had happened. After the team got back from Africa, you were able to begin your work. You had used Dr. Banner and Tony’s knowledge to help you recreate and upgrade some of your equipment while they were hiding out with Barton. Dr. Banner didn’t question a lot other than an amazed “You designed this yourself?” occasionally, but Tony questioned almost everything.

Where’d you get this?

How’d you come up with this? There’s now way you designed that on your own.

What powers this?

Who gave you the stuff for this?

I like this. Can I steal it?

When you all met up again, you were able to make your explosive more powerful without adding any size. The suction on your gloves was given improved sensitivity to allow for quicker release and replacement. You repurposed the blinding powder formula - you hardly ever used it anyway - with more acidic properties if exposed to strong electrical currents, turning it corrosive enough to eat through even Vibranium. Tony helped design electrical charges that should short any circuitry. With a redesign of Tony’s reactors, you upped the voltage on your stun gun and reconfigured it’s core to be self-sustaining, holding more power than the arc reactor at a fraction of the size. You added two connectable staffs that could release long, machete-like blades. Tony even helped you add a charging streak to your belt so your charges could be reused.

You were tempted to recreate the hooded cloak, not to hide behind but to use it defensively. It was all but indestructible and you knew it would be useful in the looming fight, not to mention you got used to having it protect you. So you redesigned it and cut out the hood completely. It was more of a poncho than a cloak but you knew it would serve its purpose, plus it added a certain look to your new uniform that you really adored. And with the help - and color input - from Tony, you were able to fabricate a new plated vest.

After a brief altercation with Ultron on the public streets, Steve ended up recruiting the Maximoffs to help fight against Ultron. And you knew you would need as much help as you could get. Romanoff was taken and Bruce, Tony, and Thor ended up bringing to life what Ultron had started in the cradle. Before you knew it, you were all in Sokovia. The evacuation mission was cut short by the city being torn from the ground so you had no choice but to fight while Stark tried to find a way down.

You stayed with Steve and fought at the edge of the bridge. You two made a pretty solid team, especially when one car with a woman still in it teetered over the edge. Steve caught the car by the bumper while you tried to help her out the door. The car broke off from the bumper before you could get her back safely. You slid your wrist along your belt to attach your wire line while you stepped off the edge without a second thought, ignoring Steve calling your name and the tug you felt on your cloak. You caught her by her arm and pulled her back to you before you turned back to the rock and shot your wire near one of the thick metal braces for the bridge while the car plummeted to the ground below.

Once the hook caught hold, you wrapped your hand around the wire and held to it tightly. You looked up and saw Steve peering over the edge and calling your name. You quickly thought if Steve was thinking of that day on the train and was scared to watch a second friend fall to an untimely and rather violent death. You had to shake the thought and focus on your current task. You attempted to pull yourself up with one arm, but with her additional weight, it wasn’t going to work.

“Listen to me very carefully.” You told the woman in your arms. Through her panic, she nodded that she was listening. “I want you to climb up to my shoulders, okay? Use the wire to keep you steady and reach for him but don’t let go of my hand until you have that wire. He’ll pull you the rest of the way up, alright?” She looked up to Steve and back to you, hesitation in her eyes. “I need you to trust me, okay? I’m not gonna let you go.”

She began to climb up your body unsteadily. You tried to use your knee or even your leg as something for her to get footing, but it was very tricky when dangling in mid-air. She slipped back a couple times and you could see her relief when you hadn’t let her go. She finally made her way to standing on your shoulders for Steve to lift her the rest of the way. Once her weight was gone, you began swinging your body to gain momentum. You kicked your feet hard to flip yourself up and over the edge. You released the wire from your wrist and went rolling across the pavement.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” Steve said with a sigh of relief as he came to help you to your feet.

“Yeah, well, maybe you didn’t take all the stupid with you.” You nodded from the floor, rubbing the back of your head with one hand and holding the other out for him to help you up with. “That was a harder landing than I thought it would be.”

“Yeah, no shit.” He laughed and took your outstretched hand. 

“Such language in front of a lady.” You teased and bounced on your toes. “Shame on you, Steven.”

“How’d you know about that?” He shook his head in amusement. “And I thought you said you weren’t a soldier.”

“I said I wasn’t mean enough for HYDRA.” You corrected while you brushed the dust off your suit. “I never said I wasn’t trained.”

There was a small lull between rounds. During that gap time, Tony explained that he could vaporize the rock but everyone on it wouldn’t make it off. Steve said he wouldn’t leave so long as there’s civilians there. You agreed, deciding that you hurt enough people so it was time to help.

“I’ve lived a long enough life.” You shrugged. “Time to give it back.”

“This is SHIELD?” Pietro asked when he saw the helicarrier that Nick Fury brought and the lifeboats that were sent.

“This is what SHIELD is supposed to be.” Steve said with a proud smile.

“I really was on the wrong side, wasn’t I?” You chuckled before helping guide the remaining Sokovians out of their hiding places and to the boats.

Tony quickly called you all back to the church, where Ultron was waiting for you. The Avengers -including yourself - fought tirelessly, protecting the core from Ultron and his soldiers. The assault was seemingly never ending, one after another after another. It only ended when Tony, Vision, and Thor were able to weaken Ultron and the Hulk launched him far away so the rest of the boys ran in an odd, automated terror.

“We gotta move.” You said after a deep breath. “I can’t be the only one noticing the air’s getting thin.”

“Yeah, I can tell too.” Steve agreed.

Wanda insisted that she should stay and protect the core, saying it was her job. You admired her determination and you could see how she survived Strucker’s experiments with the Scepter. You could tell, without even really knowing her, that she was going to grow into her powers and be a true force to be reckoned with.

It seemed like everyone was on the boats, ready to be guided to the SHIELD helicarrier. It seemed like you could all call it a day and let Tony finish what he had planned and blow the rock to pieces.

Until you heard her cries.

A woman was crying that her son was still back there. You turned and saw the small boy clinging to a metal pole. Barton saw him at the same time and headed that way first. You were the only one to notice the incoming Quinjet, and the pilot wasn’t an Avenger.

You had only moments to process what was happening. Ultron was going to open fire and that little boy and Barton had nowhere to take cover. You had to draw the fire away. Pietro tried to make a move before you but your brain formulated the plan before he could take his first step.

“There’s a hole in the windshield.” You commented to yourself before running from the lifeboat, ignoring Steve trying to call you back. “And I never miss.”

You pulled one of the explosives from your belt and set the charge while you ran. Once you felt comfortable enough with the distance you stopped behind an overturned car and there was just enough time to throw the explosive perfectly through the hole. It went off in Ultron’s face and drew his wrath towards you.

You quickly knelt down and turned your body away. As you were turning, you unbuttoned the new cloak and pulled the excess up to cover your head. You braced for one of the bullets to hit, but you weren’t ready for three to puncture your body. You cried out only once before the assault stopped and the dust settled.

Steve was quickly by your side, but you had fallen to your back by then. He hesitated when he saw the blood that was quickly staining your shirt. You offered a weak smile as he carefully scooped you into his arms and carried you back to the boat. You breathed a sigh of relief when you saw Barton and the little boy make it back as well.

“You should’ve let me do it.” Pietro scolded. “I would’ve been fine.”

“Oh shut it, Sonic.” You rolled your eyes. “Just make sure everyone else is okay…”

Steve set you down gently as Pietro left, muttering a quick rant, and you nodded in thanks. You saw the worry in his eyes and it was enough to bring you to tears.

“It’s okay, Steve.” You said weakly. “I lived a long enough life… Just tell James that I’m sorry, okay? I wish I-” You groaned slightly. “I wish I could’ve told you guys everything…”

“You can tell him yourself.” Steve insisted, scanning the boat for an available medic.

You felt yourself losing blood fast. You hadn’t even inspected your wounds so you finally looked down and saw the three spreading crimson blotches. One was through your left shoulder, another through the lower half of your ribcage on the left side, and the final one was near your right hip. You winced slightly as you straightened up as best you could and put a hand over Steve’s.

“It’s okay, really.” You nodded. “I’ll walk it off.”

Suddenly, the city began to fall but Steve wasn’t on the boat. You instantly dropped to your stomach and reached over the edge, catching Steve by the wrist with one hand and using the suction in the other palm to keep you both from going down. You groaned loudly at the pull of his weight and the pain that blossomed from throwing yourself onto your wounds, but you ignored it. You pulled Steve up with all the strength you had until he could grip the ramp and pull himself up the rest of the way.

“Told you the girl underneath does the right thing.” You said quietly as you rolled onto your back. “Besides, this is a pretty cool way to die.”

Your eyes fluttered closed as your breathing slowed… Slowed… Slowed.

You woke up the next day - maybe multiple days later - in the new Avengers compound. You sat up carefully and remembered what happened, your bullet wounds and blood loss. Though when you looked under your new shirt, there was almost no proof. Helen Cho, the doctor that started creating Vision in the cradle, smiled at you as you swung your feet down so you could get up.

You wandered outside and found Steve and Tony as Thor was leaving. You smiled and approached them. Steve opened his arms for a hug while Tony talked.

“…hope nobody blows it up.” Tony finished.

“Well maybe don’t put your address on television and dare someone to come get you.” You joked.

“The simple life.” Steve nodded.

“You’ll get there some day.” Tony said kindly.

“I don’t know.. Family and stability? The guy that wanted that went into the ice seventy five years ago.” Steve explained. “I think somebody else came out.”

“You alright?”

“I’m home.” He nodded.

“And you?” Tony turned to you. “Little miss appears-out-of-nowhere-and-kicks-ass. I heard what you did for Barton and the kid. How you feelin’?”

You chuckled softly and patted where the bullet hit near your hip. “Good as new.. I don’t think I deserve this second chance but I know I have to make the best of it now.” You said honestly. “I think this opportunity to help people has really helped me figure some stuff out, so thanks Tony.”

He smiled softly and nodded with a quick pat on your arm. “Don’t be a stranger, alright? I promise I’ll only let it ring three, maybe four times.” He joked before getting into his car and leaving.

“You gonna stick around?” Steve asked. “We could use someone like you.”

“Actually, there’s someone else I need to find and make amends with.” You said carefully. “That’s assuming you and I are good?”

“Y/N, you put your life on the line without a thought to save that kid and Clint. You saved me even though you were hurting.” He said proudly. “No matter what you did in the past or who you were, that’s who you really are and it’s who you’ve always been. That’s the girl I’m proud to call my friend.”

“That means more than I can ever put into words.” You smiled widely. “And hey. You ever need me, I’ll be around.” You pulled the piece of paper with your phone number that you had put in your boot before you left the med wing. “But unlike Stark, I won’t just let it ring.”

“Where you gonna go?” He asked as he took the paper. “You do have a plan, right?”

“I’m not completely sure actually.” You said simply. “He’s gonna be a tricky one to track down but I’ve gotta find him… You think he’ll be happy to see me?”

“You kidding?” He smiled. “He’s gonna lose it when he sees you again.”

As you began your adventure to find James, you understood something. You were Nightmare, but she wasn’t all you were. You did a lot of bad things when HYDRA was all you knew, all you had. But now… You had so much more.

Tony and Steve giving you the chance to be an Avenger, if only for that fight, allowed you to prove to yourself that there was so much of Y/N left when Nightmare was out of the picture. And honestly, you liked who you were without her, but you knew you’d never fully be rid of her and you knew you’d be okay with that eventually. The only thing left to close that chapter of your life completely was to come clean. First to James, then to Steve.

Hopefully they could forgive you.

[seokjinsonlyone]

fall into your blu: drabble 1

read the original story here: fall into your blu

summary: “She almost wished they didn’t have any plans for the night. They clearly had a bit more reconciliation to do...”

genre: fluff! a little 🤏 bit of angst, comfort

warnings: none

word count: 1.8k

a/n: there were a few people who said they wanted to see more of these two and more interaction with the gang 🤪🤙 but bc this is my comfort fic and my emotional support jin this is what my brain turned out <33333

[5:34pm] y/n: 🍿🍩🍪🍦👍😋🥵👅💦😩👌💯

“What’s with all the emojis?” Jin asked, resting his chin on top of her head, one hand holding their basket the other wrapped around her waist. It was a bit much considering they were in line at the grocery store. But, they were just getting over a fight, so he was being extra sweet on her.

“Jungkook wanted to know if I had the snacks.” They were headed to Tae’s for a movie night. Everyone had been complaining that they never saw the two of them anymore since they started dating, which wasn’t true. They may have been around less, but they certainly hadn’t ditched them.

“Mmm,” he hummed in acknowledgement, letting her go to put their items on the conveyor belt. She moved to the card terminal to pay and a few minutes later they were walking out hand in hand.

He put the few bags they had in the backseat, before sliding in the driver’s seat and backing out of the space. As soon as they were back on the main road, his hand was reaching out for hers.

She regarded him for a moment, taking in his side profile. “You’re so handsome,” she sighed. She doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to it. Something was wrong with him though. She knew by the fake smile he gave in return. Usually when she’d compliment his looks he’d make some kind of joke about him being universally handsome or something, but his lack of response told her something was up. Even before then she could tell something was off. Could tell by how touchy he was being. He’d had some kind of hold on her all day. Which, he was definitely the more affectionate out of the two but they weren’t normally joined at the hip as they’ve been.

Her guess was that it had something to do with their argument. They made up yesterday, talked everything out, and she was quick to put the incident behind her. Was actually glad it happened. She’d been waiting for it. They’d been official for over four months with only a few minor disagreements. She knew the ball was about to drop soon enough. And it did. And now it was done, but obviously something was still bothering him. She squeezed his hand. “We’re good, right?”

He released a breath as if he had been waiting for her to ask. She doesn’t know why he didn’t say anything before. She thought she did a pretty good job at letting him know he can talk whenever. “Yeah, I just…” She brought his hand up to her mouth, pressing a small kiss to it encouraging him to speak his mind. “I don’t know. I didn’t like it.”

“Like what?”

“Fighting with you.”

“I don’t like being upset with you either.”

“Yeah, but… you didn’t talk to me for two days,” he stressed.

“Yeah, well you really pissed me off.”

He spared her a side glance. “I know, and I’m sorry. But-”

“We already talked. You don’t have to apologize again,” she softly interrupted.

He nodded. “Just… I don’t know. Not knowing where we stood? I didn’t like it. It was scary.”

She pouted, turning toward him. She didn’t know he felt like that, and she hated that she was the one to cause such a feeling. The duration of their argument she never felt that he was a flight risk. Knew that he’d be there waiting for her once she calmed down. It never occurred to her that he didn’t have that same reassurance. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I’m just still a little shaken up, I guess. I didn’t- don’t want to lose you.”

She shook her head. “No, I do need to apologize. I never had any intentions of leaving you, and I’m sorry you didn’t know that. I needed some space to control my emotions and get my head together, but leaving you never crossed my mind. Not even once. I’m not going anywhere. I need you to know that.” She took a breath. This was all still so new to her. Being open and honest and vulnerable. It was a lot. But, he was worth it.

They were approaching a red light. “Seokjin, look at me.” Her heart skipped a beat. Despite having just commanded him to face her, she was still caught off guard. He was everything. “I love you.” It was a recent development, said for the first time only three weeks ago but she’d been feeling it for longer than she allowed herself to admit. It didn’t come naturally or flow quite right from her mouth just yet, but she felt it with every fiber of her being. “I mean it when I say it. And, fighting with you isn’t going to change that.”

The corners of his lips quirked upward at the three words into a genuine smile. Not that fake, awkward one he sported earlier. It was only her fourth time saying it since the first. She didn’t want to use it so much that it lost its meaning, but she supposes she should say it a little more. Couldn’t have her man doubting himself. She leant over the center console capturing his lips in a gentle, slow kiss attempting to convey the feeling pressing at her heart whenever he was near.

It was so easy to lose herself in him, but she kept some kind of awareness that they were still at a stoplight and broke away just as the light was turning green. She almost wished they didn’t have any plans for the night. They clearly had a bit more reconciliation to do, but she could tell that he was already feeling a little lighter with her assurance.

“Are you okay now? If you’re still feeling weird, we can go back to yours and talk some more. I’m pretty sure I can just leave the snacks and they wouldn’t miss us,” she asked when they pulled up to Tae’s.

“Are you kidding? You paid for the snacks. If we leave, they come with us.”

“Kook would be devastated.”

“Ask me if I care.”

She giggled, glad that he was joking with her again. “Seriously, though. You good?” She didn’t want anything lingering between them. Wouldn’t be able to fully enjoy their friends otherwise.

“I’m fine. And, I love you.” A small smile crept on her face this time hearing his confession. “One thing, though.” Her eyebrows shot up in question. She didn’t even have to ask what it was before he was leaning over to her and kissing her a little more saucily than one should when about to meet up with a group of people. “Alright, let’s go.”

She couldn’t believe she was in love. It felt so good. She couldn’t keep the dopey smile off her face. Or, at least she thought she couldn’t. It fell off naturally when they went in the house. Jin was helping her take her coat off when the dynamic duo, Taehyung and Jimin, approached groaning. “None of that nasty stuff in here.”

She scoffed. “He was helping me take my coat off. That’s a half step away from basic human decency.”

“Yeah, but you were smiling,” Tae pointed out.

“Am I not allowed to be happy anymore?”

“We know it’s because you were making out in the car,” Jimin smirked.

Both of their faces scrunched up. “Why were you watching perverts?” her boyfriend asked, beginning to move past them to sit on the couch.

“Jungkook was tracking you. Said you were outside and we checked. Not our fault you two were doing the tongue tango.”

She rolled her eyes. “Y’all are so annoying.” She pulled them into a hug nonetheless. It had been a while.

“Don’t worry he was tracking the pizza too,” Namjoon spoke up. She rushed to him immediately, pulling him into a hug as well. It’d been the longest since she’d seen him. He was always so busy. Didn’t even know if he was going to make it tonight.

“I haven’t ate since lunch,” Jungkook whined. She turned to see him on the couch latched onto Hobi for whatever reason.

“It’s literally dinnertime. That’s normal. That’s how it’s supposed to go.” He huffed detaching himself in favor of rummaging through the bags she held out to him. She ruffled his hair as she walked by to sit next to Yoongi. She saw him the most. She squeezed him tightly anyway. He was her twin. Couldn’t stay away for too long or else their twin telepathy would get disrupted. He was also incredibly level headed and helped her gain a little perspective when she confided in him about her and Jin’s hiccup.

“By the way, why are you and Jungkook’s messages just emojis?” he asked, wiggling out of her grip.

“Why did Beethoven write five symphonies?” she began dramatically.

“He actually wrote nine,” he corrected.

“No one cares. Why did Van Gogh paint the starry night? Why did Thomas Edison create the lightbulb? The answer is simple. When you have a gift, you must use it.”

“And your gift is… emojis?”

Jungkook piped up, mouth stuffed with donut. “It’s harder than it seems. There are a lot of categories to search through.”

“Exactly. And, it’s also a contribution to future sociologists and linguists. They’re going to study these interactions and decipher the meaning. We’re giving very good samples. It’s for the greater good.”

“We’re humanitarians.” They high fived.

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “That’s not even what that means.”

“No one cares.”

They chatted amongst themselves for a few more minutes until the pizza came and they got situated for the movie. She really doesn’t even know why they chose to do a movie night. When they got together no one had the attention span for it, so they ended up talking through whatever they attempted to watch.

She was sat on the floor next to Jimin trying to figure out where she knew the male lead from when her phone vibrated.

[7:42pm] him <33333: can you come sit next to me

She turned her head to the left and saw Jin pouting on the couch.

[7:42pm] y/n: why

[7:43pm] him <33333: bc i miss you :(

[7:43pm] y/n: but we been together all day

[7:43pm] him <33333: i love you come sit next to me

She sighed wistfully, smiling down at her phone. She doesn’t think she’d ever get used to hearing that.

“Hey! I thought we agreed to no nasty stuff,” Jimin said, snapping her out of her revelry. “Sit next to me. I miss you. I love you,” he mocked in a high pitched voice, drawing everyone’s attention.

She moved her phone out of his field of vision, face dropping into a grimace, smacking his chest. “Shut up.”

She moved to sit next to Jin whose ears were reddening at being exposed. It didn’t stop him from wrapping his arms around her when she finally sat next to him like he wanted. She snuggled further into his side, ignoring the fake gagging and various calls of disgust around them. It felt like home.

[ask-whumptown]

Hey party people🤪 I want to know who can’t take compliments well? Who takes them the best? and what was your favorite compliment you ever gotten together and separately?😁 (I feel like I know the answer to this first part but I want to hear y’all say it anyways… he know who he is❤️)

"It's Z.," Jesse says.

"Z. is easily the easiest to fluster, you compliment him and he's gone," Taeyoung agrees.

"It's funny," Robaire adds, "because we've all had training for this. We've had workshops to learn how to accept compliments as part of media training, but he still gets so embarrassed."

"Z." Aaron T. chimes. "Handsome little man, c'mere."

Aaron T. makes grabby hands at him. Aaron Z., flushed as all hell, turns away.

"In all fairness," Robaire says, "Jesse also has a hard time accepting compliments sometimes."

"Only when they catch me off guard."

"Robaire and Tae have the most practice, so they probably take them the best," Aaron T. says.

Taeyoung cooes, "You're not bad either, you get very cute."

He laughs, and winks. "You know it."

"Favourite compliment is hard." Jesse's eyebrows scrunch. "I don't know if it counts, but back in high school, one of my teachers told me my history presention was the best he'd ever seen."

"Really?" Aaron T. looks surprised. "I can definitely think of at least four compliments you've gotten that are much more interesting."

"I looked up to that teacher a lot." Jesse shrugs. "I still think about it when I'm having a rough day."

Taeyoung thinks for a moment. "Robaire gave me this huge spiel about how brave I was in once. He was all weepy, and like, 'thank you Tae, I love you Tae, you are so brave,' I think that might be my favourite."

Robaire gasps. "You were crying too."

"What about you? What's your favourite?"

"Maybe..." He hesitates, "'Even when everything is going to shit, you always figure it out.' That really stuck with me."

"A 4*Townie told me I made them feel safe," Aaron T. says, "that... yeah. That was my favourite, it really left an impact."

They all glance over at Aaron Z.

"'My life is better for having you in it,'" he mumbles.

"As a group though? I think the best we've gotten is that we're helping people." Robaire ponders.

"Easily." Aaron T. nods.

Aaron Z. waves. "Thanks for asking."

[hotdamnhunnam]

Five Shades of Hunnam

President • King • Captain • Pilot • Gentleman

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: Here’s Part 2 of this crazy filthy fantasy of getting gang-banged by five versions of Charlie!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Part 2 is written based on the results of this poll asking which Hunnams y’all would prefer in each hole 🤪

Pairings: Jax Teller + King Arthur + Will Miller + Raleigh Becket + Raymond Smith ... x F!Reader Warnings: smut, swearing, dirty talk, rough sex, gang bang Request: Kinkfest request from @itsme-autumn

Word Count: ~3.3k

GIFs by misterhunnam | hunnamsource | charllehunnam

... Continued from Part 1 [Read Here]

“Tell me, baby. Do you want us to treat you like a lady...? Or whip out all five of our cocks and just go fucking crazy?”

The fact that Jax Teller is here in your room—standing among four other men just as stunning as him, all in the form of Mr. Charlie Fucking Hunnam—the fact that Jax just said that to you... is honestly too hot to be true.

What the hell are you supposed to say to that? Supposed to do...?

You’re soaking wet and need them bad. So horny you feel fucking dead. You want to speak and yet you can’t. King Arthur has Excalibur in hand; the way you’re feeling right this instant, hurts as if that goddamn legendary sword stabbed you straight through.

With fire in his eyes of icy blue, Jax takes a few bold steps toward you. Your gaze falls to his crotch on impulse, and it’s clear from the bulge in his jeans... he’s extremely well-hung. So damn thick. So damn long. So damn big it’s obscene. It’s not as if you’re shocked—Jax Teller always walked and talked like someone with a massive cock—but still, just seeing... is believing like fuck. Plus he’s hard as a rock.

“C’mon, what’s wrong? Cat got your tongue...?” he taunts, not ashamed to whip out a ridiculous pussycat pun. It’s so painfully dumb, but when Jax Teller says it... you basically cum. He’s a devilish dick of a dom, and he loves to flaunt it. “Bet that pussy could use some tongue on it. I mean, if you’d want it.”

Oh Goddd—you cannottt... that shit is just too fucking much, to be honest.

Thankfully Captain Will is behind you to catch your full weight, as you literally start to faint. And the feel of his touch on your skin has you falling all over again. Your poor cunt is in pain. So horny it’s insane, short-circuiting your brain.

But you’re still wide awake and conscious, well aware of just how fucking bad you want this. Every man in the room.

Will reads your mind, now as he holds you from behind. Chuckles sadistically against your ear and it’s fucking divine. “Mmm, maybe if we make her cum... then her brain will be able to function and send us all home.”

“To hell with going home,” Arthur mutters, clearly turned on at the sight of you all hot and bothered. He may be nobler than the others, but he was brought up in a brothel after all and has never denied where he came from. “I swear there’s no woman so fair in all my kingdom...”

“Nor in my dimension,” Ray seconds. “Y/N—ever since we stepped in, I’ve been dying to mention that you are delightfully hot.”

Raleigh smolders, tension in his beefy broad shoulders. The king and the gentleman... aren’t they supposed to be decent like him? Now apparently they just forgot?... “But I thought—”

The President abruptly interrupts. While Will surrounds you from behind, blowing your mind, Jax comes up front. Fucking you up, his words setting a bomb off in your cunt. “Y/N just has to tell us what we all already know she wants.”

And then somehow, you finally summon the words to your filthy whore mouth. Still unable to fathom how you got so lucky. There’s only one way to respond—so you say it now. Say it loud, slutty and proud. “I want... I want you all to fuck me. All at once.”

***************

.

.

.

And so it goes.

You and five versions of Charlie Hunnam, all here in your room, are all ready to burst and give in to your dirtiest thirsts.

First things first: you need Jax Teller’s cock in your throat, and he already knows. He can tell, all too well—and he smirks, hot as hell, because he is the worst. You’ve been so fucking eager to suck off this fictional character ever since you started watching his show.

Now he’s not at all fictional, though. You still cannot believe this is real, and just how good it feels... to know just what’s in store, as you give into all of your instincts to kneel, sinking fast to the floor... that you are actually about to blow the President of SAMCRO.

“Mmm...” the tall blonde biker hums, clearly pleased, as he watches you fall to your knees, reaching now to rip open his jeans like a cheap fucking whore. Jax’s cocksucking hoe. “There we go. Look at that slutty little mouth of yours. Go on and show me what it’s good for.”

Fuck yes, sir. But you’re too breathless now to use your words to answer, as Jax Fucking Teller’s cock is out, so big and hard and proud... a goddamn pillar of perfection...

And you are not about to waste a second, worshiping the President’s erection with your filthy little mouth.

“Unghhh....” he grunts, as you set to work right at once. The sound of his guttural groan starts a flood in your cunt, soaking up while you slobber all over his dick, focusing on the tip. Servicing him with your tongue and lips, loving it more with each lick. Slurping up every sweet drop of precum as it drips.

He is so delicious. You could go on forever like this, as if you and Jax are the only two souls who exist. But you’re not—and the fact that four other versions of the same man are watching right here in this room... just the thought, of five shades of Hunnam, five flavors of your favorite sex god... is so fucking hot.

The truth is that they’re not just here to watch, while you bury your face in Jax’s crotch. They’re here to touch. They’re here to fuck. They know that you want all five of their cocks. You’ve never wanted anything so much.

And just your luck... they want you too. These five versions of Charlie are incredibly turned on by you, though it seems too good to be true.

All of a sudden, you feel hands upon your skin as someone hoists you off the floor. King Arthur has just set aside his sword, stripped off his shirt—oh God, his chiseled muscles are so hot, so hard it hurts—and flings you easily over his shoulder like a little fucktoy whore.

“The fuck—” the President protests as your mouth slips off of his cock, with a loud pop, once the king swiftly lifts you up. Jax was not at all set for this blowjob to stop. He wants more of this mind-blowing head. “What the... I wasn’t done yet...”

“Did you not hear what Y/N said?” Arthur reminds him, as he carries you across the room and throws you down onto the bed. The way he effortlessly handles you like that... you’ve never been so wet. “The lady wants all five of us at once. You took that pretty little mouth of hers—such a sweet hole to fuck—but there are others. Now it’s time for her to take a royal cock. Give her exactly what she wants. I’m gonna lay claim to her cunt.”

Then he attacks you with a fierce animalistic grunt, tearing his leather pants away to free his meat, and ripping off your clothes as well to make sure that you feel all of his heat. His feral dominance is everything you need. The way he grabs and gropes your tits, with one of his hands... while the other reaches down to stroke your clit... holy fucking shit. You seriously can’t. It’s more than you can stand.

“You think you own that cunt?” Jax comes to butt in, all of a sudden. “Think just ‘cause you’re king you can do what you want? Well, think again. I said I wasn’t done.”

The President then reaches right under Arthur, before things can go any farther. Grabs you by the shoulders to pull you up into a better position. Like every inch of you belongs to him.

Both of these men are just manhandling you at their whim, and it feels like heaven to be sinking into such a state of submission.

The king of England and the king of Charming end up grappling for dominance for a few moments, until their struggle is cut short by a quick interruption: the captain. He’s sick of this childish behavior from them. No matter the problem, Will Ironhead Miller can always propose an efficient solution.

“Cut the bullshit—it’s not rocket science, you idiots,” he says as he tells the men how to best handle their business. “Look: Y/N sits on the king’s cock, then biker boy stands at the side of the bed, so that she can lean over and give him head.”

His suggestion is met with a pause.

Jax is first to break it, while you lie on the bed wet and naked. Glaring alpha male daggers at Ironhead, chest proud and puffed. “What, you think you’re the boss?” he indignantly scoffs.

Arthur huffs, his own ego a little bruised too. But then poses the question to you, his voice all at once tender yet rough. “That sound good to you, love?”

You cannot help but swoon at the word he just called you. How is it he’s so fucking hot, yet so cute...? Your head bobs in a dumb speechless nod; it’s the most you can do.

“Yeah, ‘course it does,” the captain confidently gloats, as you settle into the perfect position that he had proposed. Take the king in your cunt and the President deep in your throat. “Just what she loves. Dick in her mouth and her pussy. Especially because this leaves her pretty little ass ready for me.”

You could honestly die at the thought—that sounds painfully hot...?!? And so dirty... you’ve never once taken two dicks in two holes, let alone three in three... but goddamn do these men make you thirsty.

The second you sit down on King Arthur’s cock... your world is fucking rocked. He’s so epically big—just the same size as Jax’s enormous dick—speaking of which, you go straight back to being the President’s cocksucking bitch. Jax grabs you by the head from where he is standing at the side of the bed, fingers tangling in your messy hair as he feeds you his huge cock to suck. Your face will always be his to fuck.

And you still can’t get over your luck.

“Such a good little cockslut,” Jax snickers at you as he swiftly shrugs out of his kutte. Then the flannel beneath, knowing that looking up at his broad sculpted chest and his firm rippled abs is exactly what you want and need. You take his dick deeper this time around, gagging on his massive meat, gulping every inch down, and he’s so long and thick that it feels like your jaw fucking broke.

It feels so goddamn good to get wrecked, especially now with the words he says next. “You like the way I own this filthy little throat? God, you’re filthy as fuck. Taking my dick so good. Bet you can’t wait to swallow my load. That’s it, slut. Suck that cock till you choke.”

His dirty talk is so hot you can’t even cope. You used to imagine it back when you were just a fan of his show—now it’s actually happening though, and it’s more than your inner fangirl ever hoped.

And of course, it’s the instant your eyes roll back into your head, as both Arthur and Jax fuck you up on your bed, till you’re ready to burst... that the captain decides to step in and take full control, over another hole. If you thought taking two cocks at once was already the best and the worst, nothing could have prepared you for taking a third.

But the truth is you love how it hurts.

Having Jax Teller fucking your facehole all sloppy and juicy, while King Arthur slams his royal scepter into your soaking wet pussy, and Will Miller shoves his brutally big dick in your tight little ass, taking your cheeks in his tight grasp and dishing out punishing slaps... it feels like all your dreams are coming true at last. Literally cumming true at that. God, it feels so fucking good to be so fucking bad. It’s by far the best sex you have ever had. Satisfying all your sluttiest thirsts.

And as if shit could get any hotter... you’d almost forgotten that there are two others.

Two other equally beautiful versions of Charlie: the savage yet soft-spoken gentleman Ray, and the soft-hearted fighter pilot Raleigh.

You don’t even have enough holes in your body for all of them. Not sure whether and how you can handle another two Hunnams. But hot damn are you happy to tackle that problem.

As Jax and Will and Arthur keep railing you harder, filling you in every way you want... you hear another voice from nearby in the room. All at once cool and classy, yet naughty and nasty. It has to be Raymond. “Well now, who knew that this lovely woman... would turn out to be such a kinky fucking cunt.”

Ughh, fuck—you moan desperately all around Jax’s cock, the only way that you can respond. Who knew? No one. You didn’t even know it, till this moment. But now all five shades of Hunnam do. Their presence in your room has definitely brought it out of you.

At the gentleman’s words, the President flashes a smile and a sadistic little chuckle. All the while keeps on ruthlessly ravaging your filthy little fuckhole. Driving his dick into the back of your throat till it hurts. Till your slobbering tongue and your bottom lip smush up against his big balls. Addresses Ray as well as Raleigh, who is standing quietly along the far wall. “Tough luck for you all, but this bitch is fucking full. Too bad she’s only got three holes...”

“She’s got two hands, though,” Ray points out, coming toward you now, his footsteps so deliberate and slow. “What do you all reckon they’re good for...?”

Oh, good Lord...

“Stroking? Squeezing...?” he asks, reaching to take one of your hands in his dominant grasp. Wrapping your fingers tight around his throbbing shaft. You cannot even anymore. Just cannot even... “Mmm, it seems to me that Y/N summoned up five Hunnams for a reason. To be used up like a proper fucking whore.”

Three cocks have swiftly turned to four, and you can feel poor Raleigh bolting toward the door. This filthy business goes against his soft, pure heart. He’s never witnessed—let alone dared to take part—in such a hardcore pornographic scene as this...

But here he is. And can’t deny that he’s rock fucking hard, as you can tell from one quick glance, out of the corner of your eye, at the massive bulge in his military pants. And you’ll be damned before you let that pretty boy pilot escape from this. He fucking can’t. You need two cocks in your two hands.

“Don’t pussy out on us like that,” Will masterfully commands, beckoning Becket toward the bed. “You know we’re all just Y/N’s guests; this is her universe. So we’re just... here to satisfy her thirsts.”

And then he grabs hold of your shoulders, to anchor himself as his thrusts in your ass become faster and bolder, which ends up pushing your head deeper down in Jax’s crotch. Slamming into you like it’s his job. And it’s too fucking much. Fucking you the fuck up.

But you don’t ever want it to stop.

Raleigh seems reluctant to abide by Will’s orders. But something compels him to do as the captain said—come toward the bed, like a good little soldier. “You guys are the worst...”

“No, far from that,” Arthur replies with a filthy laugh, as he keeps on splitting your wet pussy in half with his majestic staff. “This may look bad, but how it feels...? Fucking unreal. Quite honestly the fucking best.”

Oh God fuck yes...

You can sense Raleigh coming closer toward the bed with timid steps. Can feel his captivated blue gaze watch your body as it bounces on the mattress. You’ve lost track of who’s thrusting the hardest, the fastest. It’s all just a beautiful big fucking mess...

“Now let’s see if the fifth cock is as big as all the rest,” Jax playfully suggests. “See if this dirty little slut can take us all at once. Just like she wants. Let’s put our fucktoy to the test.”

“Fine, if you all insist,” the pilot yields at last. “But only ‘cause she wants it. Honest.”

“Just shut up and let her get her hands on it,” Raymond grunts, frustrated and impatient, until Raleigh finally gets in position.

And once it happens—once you wrap your fist around his rock hard cock, getting completely fucked, by five versions of Hunnam all at once... it’s even better than you had ever imagined.

You eagerly jerk both men off, all while the other three keep ravaging you good and hard and rough. You feel so full, in all your holes, and more, down to your deepest core. Your inner whore. This is exactly what you live for, what you love. And you won’t ever get enough.

By the time all five Hunnams are ready to soak you in their fucking cum—which happens at the same time for all of them, since apparently they’re somehow in unison, being all versions of the same person from different dimensions... by the time that happens, you’ve already lost count of your own orgasms.

This whole session, for your slutty ass, has just felt like one epic extended climax. Will and Arthur pounding into you in a perfect rhythm, from the front and the back, while you jack off Raleigh and Ray, all while gagging on Jax... you could do this all day every day. And there’s no other way for your body and soul to react.

You’re nothing but a fucktoy for five shades of Hunnam and that is a fact.

As the three sex gods buried balls deep in your holes fill them up so deliciously full, the other two drop their loads all over the cheeks of your ass and the curve of your back. And you’re having an absolute heart attack. How is a mere mortal bitch supposed to survive this...? Your brain is blown to bits. At this point it’s an actual struggle to even exist.

But you’re a shameless whore, just desperate for another hit. For fucking more. Of all the countless possibilities of five versions of Charlie in your three holes and two hands... all you want is to try literally every combination, and then once you’re done, just repeat them again and again and again.

It is literally raining men. Not just any men—five incarnations of your fucking sex god obsession. All five of them are living breathing perfection. Wrecking you till it hurts, till you burst, fulfilling all your thirst, in every way from every direction.

So maybe eventually you’ll have to send them back to their respective dimensions...

... But till then? You will sure as hell make the most of this mind-blowing multiverse blessing. Maybe if the sex keeps on being this epic they won’t even dream of leaving. Just won’t even...

And you’ll be more than happy to host them forever in this dimension. Can’t imagine any damn thing better than five incarnations of Charlie, right here fucking you in your bedroom. Because honestly, five shades of Hunnam... are five shades of heaven.

***************

Okayyyyy so I know this was FUCKING INSANE FILTHY SHIT but I hope there are some kinky bitches out there who enjoyed it! And would love to hear if you did!! 🤪

– Main Masterlist

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@happylittlepuppydog @starbooty @bmstolemyswag

[kuiinncedes]

but i want 'em all

@gleeadvent day 2: bonfire!

yeeee this is BARELY proofread and pretty quickly written and i will almost certainly read it again and edit later lmaoo i'm just writing and posting and hopefully it doesn't all suck 🤪

also idk how summer camp shit works i've never done it but that's what this is lmao so yeah

title from "lover" by taylor swift!!! ALso this is quinntina (we BACK BABY) but like lowkey highkey can be kinda read as minor quinntike as welllll 😈 idk but it happened i love it here 😌

word count 825

read under the cut or on ao3!! <3

Quinn squeaks in surprise as a weight lands on her back, almost knocking her over, and her hands come up instinctively to find themselves meeting and holding up a pair of legs that end in familiar combat boots.

“Tina!” she laughs, stumbling to regain her balance with another person suddenly attached to her. Mike, who she had been talking to, laughs and takes a step away from them. “We’re right by a fire!”

Tina giggles right by her ear. “Sorry! Was just excited to see you.” She hooks her chin over Quinn’s shoulder and kisses a spot by her ear. “How are you?”

“Better now that you’re here,” Quinn teases, knowing Tina will roll her eyes but love the cliché. She turns her head to press a slightly awkward kiss to Tina’s temple, some of both their hair in the way but she doesn’t care. “Missed you.”

Quinn feels the missed you, too in the way Tina holds onto her tighter, leans her head in closer. “I’m here,” Tina says. “Not leaving anytime soon.”

--

Quinn knows she’s being... lame, annoying, sad, pathetic, mopey -- you name it, Mike tells her as much and she scowls at him but secretly is grateful that he’s here; he knows she doesn’t need to be comforted or coddled, knows not to because while the leather and chains and cigarettes are long gone, the pink hair is still here and the combat boots are in the back of her closet.

It’s just -- the annual bonfire… sue her, but she’s sentimental. It’s special -- it’s where they first met when they were campers a long time ago, where they reconnected as counselors, where they know they will see each other again every year because getting everyone settled is always so hectic and busy and then they can just let it all go for a moment. This is the third summer out of the four they have before graduation, and Quinn knows Tina’s not gone, just away this summer, but it’s the whole summer and it just feels like too long since she’s gotten to talk to Tina, with her unpredictable service and her constant other activities all the way across the world, just not here at camp like she always is and not with Quinn which isn’t fair because she just misses her --

“You’re moping again, Fabray,” Mike jokes, nudging her with his shoulder.

Quinn leans her head on his shoulder and he kisses her head lightly. She focuses back on the bonfire, watches the sparks float into the night sky, lets Mike’s warmth and the energy of all the new and returning campers and counselors fill her up with undeniable happiness and excitement for the next few months. Being with Tina would just make it a hell of a lot better.

--

“Have you been avoiding me?” Tina asks, crossing her arms slightly but Quinn knows it’s her way of sort of hugging herself and fuck, she already knew this but she fucked up --

“Do you -- do you not want to do this?” Tina continues when Quinn can’t come up with an answer, her voice growing small at the end.

“No! No, I mean, I do -- sorry, I just -- ” She doesn’t know -- she just wants Tina’s hand in hers in the way she’s wanted to for so long and finally can do, and no one’s stopping her but herself, and she’s hurting Tina too --

Tina sees what Quinn can’t put into words and her eyes soften, she pulls Quinn gently over to the edge of the field. There’s only a dim orange glow from the fire at this distance.

“It’s just us, okay?” Tina says softly, offering her hand between them and Quinn interlaces their fingers, finally. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I just… got nervous, I guess. It’s been a long year.” A weird year; Quinn feels like she’s just finally finding her way back from it all.

Tina smiles softly. “We don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to.”

“But -- you want to -- ”

“I want you,” Tina says. “I don’t care about them.”

“You are -- fuck -- ” Quinn says breathlessly. Tina grins wider and pulls her close, brushing her fingers through slightly pink hair as Quinn wraps her arms tighter around her.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you.”

“It’s okay. Whenever you’re ready.”

--

Quinn didn’t know if she’d be here, but sure enough, from across the fire, she sees her, talking to Kurt who Quinn also didn’t know would be here, how has she failed so badly at keeping up with these people, it’s been so long since they were all here as campers --

Tina laughs at something Kurt says, the wide open-mouthed laugh that Quinn still remembers, that throws her whole body forward and her head back and she turns toward the fire and meets Quinn’s eyes.

Quinn grins -- Tina’s huge smile has always been infectious -- and waves slightly. Tina’s eyes widen in surprise, and she waves back, smile growing impossibly wider.

[mmushroomwriter]

How would the ROs react to a only-one-bed scenario?🤪

lol it was only a matter of time

This is almost 100% going to come up in the book (I mean, they're nine (mostly) broke college students in a mini-bus on a long quest, how could it not?). However, in the book it'll probably be a little different because of various things like different MCs, character development and the fact that in the book it'll be from the MC's perspective.

Still, I decided to put it under the cut because some people may consider it spoilers?

In crushing stages, of course. This is also based on their thoughts/feelings/personalities/circumstances at the beginning of the story, so this isn't a cannon POV of if this actually happens in the book.

Osric isn't anxious, but he is full of thoughts. He's shared a bed platonically more times than he can count - both after gigs/parties and in his flat at the moment, which he shares with two friends. His flat only has one proper bed (he sleeps on a blow-up mattress and his other flat-mate sleeps on the sofa), so in winter all three flat-mates will share it for warmth and comfort. In fact, depending on your MC, the two of them might have even shared a bed as friends before. This is new territory, though. He knows the etiquette for friends sharing beds, but what are the rules now? He's pretty sure the MC likes him back, but now he's growing doubtful. In the end, he just tries to forget that it's the MC he's sleeping next to, and treats it like any other friend.

Luci will not sleep in that bed, no fucking way. The MC can have it because he's overly selfless and he would literally let anyone take the bed before him, and he will not share it. No. Nope.

Katia is taking the bed, sorry. If it makes you feel better she only sleeps for an average of four hours a night, so you can have it before and after her.

Ettie isn't phased. They're sleeping next to each other whilst traveling on a budget, it's really not a big deal.

T is kicking Miles out of his bed with Gisela and swapping places. Miles can go share a bed with his sibling, because T is not.

This was Cass's entire childhood lol. They'll be fine, they know the drill.