#i am you horoscope now

[thatonenerdygirli]

I'd like to dedicate this post to every girl that deserves better and every guy that is better. And all the variations there are. Get ya someone that always waits for you until you text goodnight back and who asks you what you want for international woman's day. Someone that will hold your hand the whole time while talking to their friends. That walks all the way to where you are just so they can see your face a little bit before they have to go 2 hours without you.

[sleepy-stitches]

every day my birthday gets a little closer and everything gets a little scarier

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Those were great horoscopes frank but we aren't living in 2015. Could we have one for today, in 2023?

Sure! Here's a (poorly constructed) zodiac-signs-as-personalities chart for 2023:

yours truly

taostraps

spez

pietromax

pumaman

saturnine-power

level-headed

[gregmarriage]

HATE that i don’t read my co-star for ages, then, when i finally do, it’s exactly accurate to my current situation 😳😵‍💫🫣

[shutinlear53]

So, here's the thing: I am a gemini, but I was born in the year of the golden dragon Clearly, this means that I'm Double Dragon (1987)

[canisbeasts-ooc]

Found a maybe cursed book today, having fun, probably gonna sleep in a bit, very cool

[incorrectbatfam]

how does a batfam pool day go?

The adults: *chilling by the poolside*

Alfred: I am going to fetch some more drinks. Try not to break anything while I'm gone.

Bruce: We've been here for two hours and nothing's happened.

Selina: Exactly. Everything's fine. Right, Kate?

Kate, taking out one headphone: Hm?

Alfred: If you say so, Miss Kyle.

Alfred: *leaves*

Selina, flipping through her magazine: "What sundress you should wear based on your horoscope." Bruce, you're a Pisces, right?

Bruce: Yeah, but—

Cass: *jogs over*

Bruce: What is it, princess?

Cass: *points to a crowd gathered across the pool*

Bruce: Is anyone hurt?

Cass: *shakes her head*

Bruce: Good. Now let's see what this is about.

[across the pool]

Dick: What if we send someone down to push you out?

Jason, stuck in the kiddie tube slide: We already tried that.

Damian, stuck behind Jason: *muffled anger*

Jason: Ow! Quit kicking me, brat.

Dick: We could try pulling again.

Tim: Not again, I got a full day's workout the first time.

Harper: Maybe we need a lubricant. Steph, got any butter?

Steph: Just because I'm the waffle girl doesn't mean I carry butter with me wherever I go.

Harper: Well... do you?

Steph: Yeah, it's in my bag, hang on.

Duke: *recording*

Barbara: Finally, the adults are here.

Bruce: What's going on?

Everyone: *starts talking at once*

Bruce: One at a time. Jason?

Jason: In a way, this is your fault. You keep treating us like kids and we might just forget that we're too old for the kiddie slide.

Bruce: Mhm, sure.

Steph, returning: Got the butter.

Bruce: Good. We'll use half of it here and the other half inside.

Duke: *zooms in*

Tim: *drops half the butter down the slide*

Damian: *muffled*

Tim: *hits the side of the slide*

Tim: The sooner you shut up and cooperate the sooner you'll have Jason's feet out of your face.

Bruce: Okay, all buttered up. On three.

Kate and Selina: *grab Jason's arms and pull*

Jason: *pops out*

Damian: *follows after*

Damian: That was more harrowing than death.

Steph: Where's the wrapper? We should throw it away so we don't contaminate the pool.

Damian: I must have left it in there.

Bruce: I'll get it.

Bruce: *goes down the slide*

Bruce: *gets stuck*

Bruce: Uh oh.

Steph: I'll get my backup butter.

[reidrum]

like i would | s.r

pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader

a/n: ok im gonna be honest idk how i feel about this one, i just wanted to finish it and put it out so apologies in advance if its not the best lol. this was requested with the prompt "i bet he can't fuck you like i can"! feedback and reblogs are always appreciated ! thanks for being paitent while i got this one out <3

cw: 18+ minors dni, smut, fingering, munch!spencer, jealous!spencer, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you whack it), reader's bf has a name which i hate in fics but its so hard to write this trope without a name so, afab!reader,

summary: a confession about your sex life makes it's way to the one person you'd hope wouldn't hear, and now he's determined to rectify the way you've been wronged

wc: 4.5k

_____________

you were a great asset to the bau. it was why you were personally recommended by emily to transfer out of sex crimes, the skill set you brought alongside the field training you had proved to be vital for the team’s success lately. you were also a great asset to the team. the bau was notorious for having people turnover fast, and you knew they were apprehensive with newcomers. but you managed to hit it off with every single member, one more than others.

spencer reid did not expect someone like you to join the team. not that he didn’t have faith in your talents and skills, he’s read your file and obviously knows you’re more than qualified to be here. he just did not expect someone who looked like you to join the team, someone who didn’t look beaten down by the horrors of the world and still believed in pots of gold at the end of rainbows. 

it didn’t help that you were so beautiful he literally would feel his heart ache when you walked in. like literally, would have to rub his chest to soothe the pain. and as spencer would, he would logic out his feelings with science because that’s all they are, scientific chemical reactions in the body. but what he felt in your friendship, what he felt when he was lucky enough to be in your presence, was something no textbook, theorem, or equation could explain.

so imagine the size of the fucking hammer coming down on his head when he finds out you have a boyfriend who: 1. is not him, and 2. is an actual real life bozo.

apparently you’d been seeing damon from organized crime for about a month now, that’s what he heard from penelope, and you ‘claim’ to be super happy. 

spencer doesn’t buy it.

he’s seen the way your ‘relationship’ operates, and he’s got the facts to back it up. damon never lets you get a word in when you’re in group settings, even purposefully talking over you when you’re clearly attempting to speak. majority of the time he’s condescending about your job as a profiler for the bau, saying that him and his team bring down drug rings, but you guys ‘just read their horoscope or whatever and decide the killer.’

it made spencer’s blood boil hotter than the sun. he couldn’t figure out why you put up with it, and why you continue to.

the final straw that broke the camel's back about his disapproval on your relationship choices, is what he overheard on the jet one time on the way back from a case.

the girls were talking in the back of the jet, unaware of spencer’s very awake mind despite his visibly sleeping body.

“i don’t know guys,” you had started with a sigh, “you think it’s weird right?”

“that your own boyfriend won’t go down on you? yeah hon, that’s fucking weird.” emily strikes.

“what did he say exactly?” jj asked.

“he said it increases the risk of STIs on the mouth? and doesn’t like the feeling of thighs crushing his head? and that even with all the … grooming … it’s still unnatural ?”

emily gagged while jj continued, “um…but do you like…on him?”

“yes! he literally won’t touch me unless i do!” you rage whisper.

“i am about to give him an organized crime to deal with,” emily half jokes, “what an asshole, why are you still with him?”

“i don’t know, he’s still nice to me i guess, and maybe i’m just being dramatic. or maybe i’m just not someone people go down on, who knows.” you sigh.

spencer stops listening, he can’t hear you talk so poorly of yourself. not when it’s so far from the truth yet you’ve been indoctrinated to think it’s accurate. how anyone could take advantage of you like that is beyond him, but it did light a fire inside of him and made him determined to help you realize you deserve so much better. if that happens to be him, then who is he to fight that?

—

spencer doesn’t get his chance to prove it to you for another two weeks, when you’d come over to his apartment for a movie night after getting in a fight with damon, your date night being canceled and leading you to spencer’s doorsteps, all dolled up with tears lining your eyes asking to come in.

he doesn’t even have time to be mad at your shithole boyfriend when he’s ushering you inside, offering you to sit on the couch while he goes and put a kettle on the stove for tea.

“i’m really sorry to just show up like this, spence.”

he doesn’t even blink before calling out from the kitchen, “don’t apologize, i’m always here for you. anytime and anywhere.”

you give him a soft smile before returning your gaze to the soft glow of doctor who.

he returns cradling two mugs in one hand and a pack of haribo gummies in the other. spencer doesn’t care for gummies, he’s more of a chocolate guy, but he knows it’s your favorite. so he makes sure to keep a couple bags in his apartment for you.

“my favorite!” you gush. his heart warms at your smile as he sits next to you on the couch. you naturally gravitate towards him to lean your head on his shoulder, and it’s automatic for spencer to wrap an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer.

the whirs and whooshes of the tardis fill the silence for the next hour as you visibly become calmer than when you first arrived. he decides this is a good time to ask, “do you want to talk about it?” as he turns his head to look at you.

“i don’t know,” you say quietly popping another gummy in, “i’m starting to believe it's just a me problem. like, maybe i’m just objectively not a great partner, and that’s why we keep getting in these fights. you know this time, he said i’m not worth all the effort and stress i bring him and that because of me he’s gonna bald at 29? i’m not a scientist like you or anything but even i know that, at least, can’t be my fault.” you end with a chuckle.

spencer knows he should probably comfort you in this time of honesty you’ve graced him with, squash your insecurities like a pesky bug on the windshield, and tell you how beautiful you are in as many words it’ll take for you to believe it (and he knows a lot of words).

but right now? he’s just fucking pissed.

not at you, never at you. at your situation, yes. at that sorry excuse of a partner let alone agent, immensely.

so he can’t help what escapes his mouth next, “why do you let yourself get treated like shit?”

you look up at him in surprise, at both the cursing and what he said, “what?”

“you’re constantly talking about how awful he treats you, and yet everyday you still go back to him knowing it’s going to repeat the next day. i just want to know why you don’t respect yourself enough to not let that happen to you.”

pulling away to sit far from him on the couch,  you start letting the annoyance show on your face, “spencer, that’s not fair at all. you think it’s my fault? do you really think i want to feel like this?”

“yes!” he shouts, “you seem like you do with how much you crawl back to him everytime, and everytime you let him back in.”

“okay, i think i should go,” you stand up and grab your things, “it was a mistake to come here, goodbye spencer.”

he grabs your wrist before you can get too far, “i just have to know, what is it?”

“what’s what spence, let me go.”

“what keeps you going back to him, it can’t be because you love him. it’s obviously not because you’re happy with him,” he lets out.

“you don’t know anything about me or my life, spencer!” you snatch away your arm and start heading towards the door.

“it’s definitely not because the sex is good, because i know it’s not.”

any emotion you had on your face wipes away like an etch a sketch, staring blankly at the door, hearing the man you’ve harbored a crush on since you started at the bureau years ago, telling you he knows your sex life is abysmal.

your voice comes out small, “h- how would you know that?” you don’t dare to turn around, knowing that if you did any resolve you held onto, any denial of emotions you’ve stripped from yourself would come pouring out like a broken dam.

the couch groans at a loss of weight, and the floorboards creak closer and closer to you.

“i heard you, on the jet.”

you’re especially glad he can’t see the blood draining from your face. if your heart already wasn’t at your feet, it’s most likely six feet under at this point. 

he heard you?

“when you were talking with the others about how he doesn’t reciprocate, and won’t sleep with you unless you get him off.” he continues.

the room is getting hotter by the millisecond, temperature about to be comparable to the sun’s core. it’s one thing to have just anyone hear the intimate details of your life, but spencer? the man to which you’d been using damon to get over?

the only sound that can be heard is your increasingly heavy breathing, and spencer feels like he’s caught a fish on his line and is ready to reel you in as he inches closer to you.

“you’re okay with that? not being taken care of in the way you deserve?”

his presence is merely nanometers behind you, the ghost of his fingers looking for landing on your hips. when you don’t move away, and he hears your breath hitch at the contact, he sets his hands more earnestly on your curves as he leans down to the nape of your neck.

“just don’t know,” kiss, “how anyone,” kiss, “wouldn’t want,” kiss, “to give you everything.” kiss.

your head lolls back onto his firm chest as he whispers in your ear, “cat got your tongue, sweetheart? you were so mouthy not even five minutes ago. be honest with me, has he even ever made you come?”

the whimpers escape you without warning and you find a single decibel of voice to speak, “spencer…” hoping the whine would dissuade him to let it go.

“uh uh, i asked you a question,” his arm tightens around the front of your waist to press back and fully feel him, “answer me.”

your lexicon has depleted except for the one word you know he’s desperately waiting for you to say, and the one he knows is the answer. yet you know the second it leaves your mouth, everything changes. and maybe you’re okay with that.

“no.”

spencer hums lowly, “has anyone made you come?”

“no.” you say again, softer this time.

“should we change that?”

this was not what you expected when you came to see him after your failed night out. the amount of processing you’d done in the last year to essentially not be thinking about spencer 24/7 was extensive. and you were ready to render it all useless in a matter of seconds.

so you let the strap of your bag fall down your arm and hit the ground with a thud, and finally turned around to look the good doctor in his eyes. while his voice held traces of anger and frustration, you came to see his eyes were full of reassurance and comfort, the spence you always knew to prioritize your wellbeing more than anything.

he looked down at you and slid his hand to up to cup your jaw, and he hears the smallest murmur, so delicate yet so full of want leave your lips.

“yes.”

that was all spencer needed to catch your lips in a heated kiss, moving your body to the closest wall as he places a hand behind your head to protect you from the wall’s impact while the other pins your waist to the wall.

you move your arms to wrap around his neck and keep him pinned to you with no escape, like he’d ever want to. his lips detach from yours and make a descent towards your neck again, taking deliberate effort to locate the sensitive spots.

he finds one just behind your ear and spends time sucking and bruising up the spot, relishing in the soft whimpers leaving your mouth. while you’re lost in the sensation on your neck, you don’t notice spencer move one of his hands closer to the button of your pants, effortlessly (and impressively) opening it up.

detaching from your neck with a heavy pant, he moves back to lean against your forehead with his own and look you in the eyes to ask, “is this okay? we can stop if you want, i didn’t mean to be so forw-“

“please don’t stop.”

he searches your eyes for any conflict and finds none, considering it the okay to continue his downward descent. he returns his lips to the second home they’ve made on your lips and starts to push your pants down over the curve of your ass, leaving your panties on.

the flash of purple lace underwear glares at him when he glances down, and suddenly he remembers what got him in this position in the first place.

“were you wearing this for him?” he lets out condescendingly, “you really think he deserved to see you like this?”

spencer’s fingers brush against your front, leaving your heavy breaths hitting him in the face. you can’t think of anything to say. hell, you’re not even sure if you know any words right now. all you can offer is a pathetic moan, and spencer doesn’t think that’s enough.

“come on, don’t get all shy now. what were you expecting him to even do, hm? thought you said he didn’t care about making you feel good.” he taunts as his middle finger traces the outlines of your cunt through your panties.

you shudder at the contact, leaning your head back against the wall as he refuses to break eye contact. he’s waiting for you to say something, raising his eyebrows expectantly as he’s slowed down his movements on you. taking a shallow breath you open your mouth, “h-, he didn’t care, just thought if i ke-, kept looking nice he’d wanna, fuck, do something.” you moan out.

“and did he?” he moved his hand back up to slowly slip into your panties.

his finger dips all the way down to your entrance to gather your wetness and spread it all the way back up to your clit, your mouth dropping open as you let out a whiny, “no.”

“what a shame.” he dips a finger into your hole and you let out a pornographic moan.

he drags his finger in and out slowly making sure to watch your face as it contorts in pleasure. once he feels you’ve gotten used to it he slips in a second finger, increasing the pace and moving his thumb to circle your clit again.

“oh fuck,” you cry.

“baby, you’re so tight.” he whispers. the way you clenched around his two digits made feel almost pussy drunk, and he wasn’t even inside you yet. he starts to wonder if damon was doing anything really to prioritize your pleasure, and it only just worked him up more. he felt more determined to bring you to finish, so he picks up the pace and increases the pressure on your clit.

you drop your head to his shoulder no longer being able to hold yourself up anymore, the sensation of his fingers on you taking over, loose whimpers and moans falling out of your mouth every other second.

“spencer…shit, i’m gonna come…”

“let go for me, baby.” he whispers in your ear.

the pleasure barrels through you like a wrecking ball, knocking the wind out of your mind and body. your legs turn into jelly and you almost fall before spencer holds you up. you try to regulate your breathing into his shoulder, hoping to calm down before you look up and meet his eyes again.

he makes that choice for you when he gingerly lifts your head up, his eyes silently asking if you’re okay. you don’t even bother responding before softly pressing your lips to his again, hoping he can feel your response to his silent question.

the kiss picks up in urgency, and soon his hands are back to exploring your body again. they slide down to the backs of your thighs while he murmurs a small, “jump.” and lifts you to wrap your legs around his waist. without breaking the kiss he walks you both to his bedroom and places you on his bed with care.

his fists flank you on both sides as he leans down to kiss you, and he moves further down kissing along your neck and chest. you reach down to the bottom of your top to pull it over your head, leaving you in the purple lacy bra that matches your panties.

he detaches from you and stands at full height, gazing at the sight of you spread out on his bed with your hair framing you like a halo. he can’t even help himself when he says, “you look so beautiful, angel.” the blush rises to your cheeks, and you beckon him to come back down to which he happily obliges.

spencer moves down further towards your hips, and his lips ghost over the lace band spreading along your waist. his fingers play with the fabric and he moves his face to be directly in line with your clothed cunt. your breathing gets heavy, and you anticipate what he’s about to do.

“wait, you don’t, you don’t have to do that, spence. i already came.” starting to feel a bit guilty at the man above you potentially feeling obligated to do this, as you realize that if he heard you on the jet, he heard about the one thing damon refused to do for you.

“sweetheart, i’d love to keep making you feel good as long as you let me, okay? you gonna let me make you feel good?” he breaths, pressing chaste kisses to your inner thighs.

you give a slight nod and he gently pulls your panties off your legs, marveling at the light glistening off your cunt. he kisses up the plush of your thighs before pausing right where you need him the most. you look down at him and meet his unwavering eyes full of love.

he places a long kiss to your core before licking a long stripe. you moan out languishly, the euphoric feeling taking over every sense in your body. you’re unable to comprehend how you went so long without feeling this, it almost feels criminal. and the way spencer was eating you out, felt like this was doing it for him too even though you were the one getting pleasured. 

it turned you on even more to know he was getting off on how much you were enjoying this. your head was spinning off into another realm, and the only thing tethering you to this reality was the grip of your hands in his hair. his tongue made circles and shapes all over your cunt before dipping down to thrust into your hole.

your thighs shake and threaten to clamp shut on his head, and he uses his wide hands to wrap around your thighs to hold them in place. “oh my god fuck, that feels so good…spence…please..” you’re not even sure what you’re begging for, but of course, spencer does when he adds a finger into your hole and moves his tongue to focus back on your clit. the combined sensations were enough to tip you over the edge for the second time tonight, your release glistening on his chin as he moved back up to kiss your lips again.

your heavy panting tries to bring you back down from your high, a mix of sweat and the taste of you lingering everywhere. 

spencer smooths your hair back as he moves his body to lie next to you, “i think, damon’s a fucking loser, if he doesn’t think that’s worth doing.” he says between pants.

you hum in agreement, or just in acknowledgement at whatever he said since you’re still reeling from the endorphin release. hiking your leg over his body to straddle him, you clumsily reach for his belt and attempt to undo the clasps to reach his growing member. you pull his pants down and palm him through his boxers, reveling in the broken moans falling from his mouth. you start inching downwards when spencer grabs you by the forearms and flips you over so you’re back on the bed staring up at him.

“not tonight, sweetheart. it’s about you right now, wanna make sure you know what you deserve.”

“but…” you pathetically respond.

“i don’t know what that neanderthal tells you, but sex is not transactional. i think if i ever see that guy again, i’d punch him for making you think otherwise.”

the words go straight to your core, turning you on even more. spencer takes note of how your pupils widen and your chin tilts up towards him.

“besides,” he presses his crotch to yours, “the sex wasn’t even that good with him, right?”

you moan out again, unable to find words to satisfy his question. he leans back up and off the bed to fully remove his boxers and you finally get a good look at what was underneath.

holy fuck, he was huge. you propped yourself on your forearms to get a better look at him, and watched as he lazily stroked himself while he sauntered back over to you. the image was so lewd, you hoped you could borrow some of his eidetic memory so you could hold on to this moment forever.

his face held a smug smirk at your awestruck one, and he felt his ego inflate even higher, “by the looks of your reaction, i’m guessing he’s never been much of a, challenge, for you in bed has he?”

you dumbly shake your head no, “definitely not as big as you.” you whisper, more to yourself than him.

his smirk grows wider, “don’t worry, baby, i’ll take real good care of you.” he says as he climbs over you to line himself up to your entrance.

you feel him slowly start to push in, the sensation of being split open growing bigger by the second. your brows furrow and your eyes are shut tight as you wait for the pressure to turn into pleasure.

if spencer thought you around his fingers had him pussydrunk, what he’s feeling now has to be close to pussy poisoning or something because he cannot think of anything in existence that feels as good as the walls of your cunt clenching around his cock. it’s taking everything in him to not break, to just fuck you senseless and reach his peak.

once his hips are flush with yours and he’s fully settled within you, he waits for you to give him the okay to move.

you, on the other hand, have never felt more full ever. damon was not nearly this big, nor has any other guy you’ve been with. it’s a bit of a miracle on how it fit inside you, and how it felt better than anything you could’ve imagined. the pressure and slight pain subsides, and with a slight nod spencer takes the cue to start moving.

the first thrust has you both moaning out in harmony together, and he sets the pace nice and slow so as to make sure you’re comfortable.

but it's not enough for you, you need him to fuck you.

“spence…harder.”

he stills at your word, leaning up so he’s perpendicular to you.

“whatever you say, princess.”

and he starts pounding into you, hips rutting at a pace you can’t even keep up with. the whimpers and moans gush out as the familiar coil begins to build within you. he taps your leg to lift it up over his shoulder to allow him deeper access, and he’s able to reach that one spot you’d heard about from all your friends, on reddit, in movies. you had no idea this type of feeling even existed, and spencer was hitting it with precision every single thrust over and over.

“fuck,” you whine.

“that feel good, baby?” he teases, “the way you’re squeezing my cock so tight, i doubt that fucker ever made you feel like this, huh?”

your tits bounce with every thrust, and the deepened angle has you reaching your climax fast. spencer feels it too and drops his head to whisper in your ear.

“i bet he’s never fucked you like this,” he continues his taunt, “he’d never be able to fuck you like i can, make you come three times in one night like i can.”

you whimper, “spencer,”

“say it, sweetheart. say no one’s ever fucked you like me.”

he was trying to kill you, death during intercourse would be a crazy way to go out but it’s a fate you’d be willing to accept. nonetheless, you comply.

“never ever, fuck, been fucked like you, baby.”

spencer has never felt more satisfied, “good girl, now come.” and with a final thrust he lets you reach your peak as he releases himself into you.

in the midst of groans he gingerly pulls out of you and you whimper at the loss.

the next few minutes are just filled with the sounds of yours and his heavy breathing, before spencer leans over to you, “was that too much?”

still in your daze you let out a soft giggle, “spencer, i think you’ve ruined all men for me.”

he smiles back, “i meant what i said, damon’s really stupid if he’s not willing to do all that for you.”

you intertwine your hand with his, “you know, i never really liked him anyway. i was just using him to get over you.”

“me?” he says incredulously.

you nod, “i didn’t know if you would’ve felt the same so i just tried to move on to someone else, stupid i know, but i don’t know it made sense then.”

he pulls you closer to rest in the crevice of his chest, “i have been into you since the day you walked into the bullpen, and letting you slip through my fingers is a mistake i will never make again.”

you hug him tightly before groaning out loud, “shit, i have to tell damon it’s over now don’t i.”

“i mean, i could tell him if you want.”

“spence, no. i think you might kill him.” you laugh, “i can do it, i just don’t want him to get all ‘organized crime’ on me.”

“just tell him i have a gun.”

“so does he?”

“mine’s bigger.” he smirks.

you roll your eyes, “well, yes.”

[amourane]

love notes in music

pairing: drummer!theodore nott x rich girl!reader

genre: fluff, modern au

w/c: 1.2k

summary: you always got what you wanted and the extremely hot drummer was no exception.

warnings: none

a/n: i am here to push forward the drummer theo agenda because yes yes and yes

Trouble was coming. You could feel it in your bones. Maybe it was the extra shot of espresso you had today or the wild predictions in your horoscope, but you definitely sensed something brewing. It didn’t help that Enzo had interrupted your lunch and dragged you back to campus for god knows what reason.

"Enzo if this is another one of your tricks to get me to dance with you it's not going to work. Remember what happened last time?" 

You dug your heels into the grass as your best friend continued to drag you across the field. The campus auditorium came into view and you frowned. There was no reason for you to even be there today so why was Enzo tugging you along like bait?

“Yes Y/n I remember what happened last time.”

"I fractured my ankle and I do not want to wear a cast ever again. I couldn't match the darn thing with any of my clothes." You huffed out a breath at the memory of the ugly accessory that the doctors had insisted on your wearing despite your protests. 

Admittedly you were a bit of a spoiled brat but at least you knew that you were. Going to a normal university was one of your father’s choices. You would have never gone somewhere so shabby on a daily basis. Truth be told on the first day, you were actually planning to ditch and go grab a chai latte. Then you bumped into Enzo accidentally and the two of you seemed to click. 

It was a good friendship. He’d always be able to tell you when you were being a tad bit annoying because of your rich girl behaviour and you’d be able to join him in his multiple activities. One which led to the infamous ankle incident. 

“Don’t worry Y/n, you’ll still be able to wear that Gucci jacket-”

“It was an Armani jacket.”

“Yeah yeah.” Enzo pushed open the door to the auditorium, and you were immediately greeted by the sound of drums pounding heavily. The amplified sound hurt your ears. “Welcome to the band.” 

“Um...Enzo, do I need to remind you of the time when I broke a guitar?” You nervously watched the live band on stage. Technically it wasn’t your fault that the guitar broke. Enzo never did tell you how to properly use it. “And when did you join a band?”

“Please don’t remind me Y/n also I didn’t actually join the band I’m more of a-”

“Hey Enzo!” 

The music stopped. Your head whipped around and your eyes nearly fell out of their sockets at the absolute hunk that had just shouted. His dark hair seemed to glow under the spotlight making him look like some sort of angel. Your mouth ran dry when he waved a drumstick at you. His fingers looked as if they’d been carved out of stone. And his biceps. God his biceps. The guy was ripped. He was a drummer as well. What was more sexy than a drummer?! 

“Hey Theo!” Enzo, your backstabbing friend who knew your weakness for hot boys with dark hair that played the drums, embraced him in a tight hug. “The practice is going well.”

“I know!” 

Good god, his eyes were like beautiful whirlpools of love. The two boys started talking animatedly about something to do with music. There were a few words thrown here and there that you recognised but other than that you stood watching wide-eyed at the conversation in front of you. 

“Who’s the pretty lady?”

Theo turned to face you and seeing his face up close only made you want to kiss him more. He really was gorgeous. You cleared your throat, straightening your skirt. “I’m Y/n, Enzo’s best friend, and you are?”

“Theo.” He offered you his hand, which you shook. Wow, his hands were soft. You were almost jealous. Time to buy new hand cream. “Hey, I’ve heard of you. You’re that girl who nearly broke her foot when dancing.”

Your cheeks flushed. Was this your legacy now? The girl that nearly broke her foot while dancing? How horrible. You would much rather be known for your stunning looks or incredible fashion sense. 

“Actually I twisted my ankle but who’s keeping track?” 

“Y/n isn’t the best dancer or guitarist.” Enzo chimed in. “She’s really good at maths though, she’s my second brain.” He said it as if you were simply another organ in his body, but you let it slide, trying to make a good impression on the drummer boy.

Theo chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Well, it's good to know Enzo has a brain to rely on."

You giggled at his remark, feeling the tension ease a bit. "Yeah, he needs all the help he can get."

"Hey!" Enzo protested, a small pout forming. "I'll have you know I'm quite capable on my own."

"Sure you are." You teased, nudging him playfully. Then, turning back to Theo, you asked, "So, what kind of music do you guys play?"

Theo's face lit up with enthusiasm. "We're a rock band, mostly. Some original stuff, a few covers. We're actually looking for a new guitarist. Interested?" He winked, clearly joking.

You shook your head, laughing. "After what happened last time? I think I'll pass. I'm more of an appreciator of talent than a participant. But I might be persuaded to attend a private concert."

Theo laughed, a rich, warm sound that made your heart flutter. "A private concert, huh? I think we can arrange that."

Enzo rolled his eyes. "Oh boy, here we go."

Ignoring Enzo, you leaned a bit closer to Theo, your voice dropping to a playful whisper. "So, Theo, do you always look this good while playing the drums, or is today a special occasion?"

Theo raised an eyebrow, his smile turning into a smirk. "I guess you'll have to come to more practices to find out."

You gave him a once-over, pretending to think it over. "Maybe. I do have a very busy schedule, you know.”

“Sounds like a yes to me. We’ve got a gig this weekend, free up some space in that glamorous life of yours and come.

You tried your best to conceal your excitement at the fact you had just scored yourself a date with a very hot drummer. Forget about trouble today was definitely the best day of your life. 

"Alright, I'll be there." You agreed, feeling a flutter of excitement in your stomach. "But only if you promise me a private drum lesson afterward."

"It's a deal. I'll make sure you get the VIP treatment." Theo’s grin only widened and you felt your heart stutter at the sight. He really was handsome and if you didn’t know how he was single but that was good news for you.

“I’ve got some studying to catch up on but I’ll hold you to that.” You offered him a wave goodbye as you made your way out of the auditorium with Enzo. Theo simply smiled, reciprocating your action. 

A giddy feeling overtook your body as the sun shone down on you. There were millions and millions of butterflies soaring in your stomach and you could only squeal at the idea of seeing Theo in the next few days. Before your best friend could say anything you spun on your heels, this time dragging him along with you.

“We need to go shopping right now, I need a new outfit for the weekend.” 

Enzo could only groan as his feet automatically moved. It was going to be a long day.

[kiddotarot]

Astrology and your body parts

So if you dont have your horoscope or birht chart and if you dont know which planet is strong and weak look at this here I am recently reading books and here i got the pic in two books explaining the body part connected with planets the main indicators are palm just look at the picture

( ignore the camera quality)

You can look at someone's palm and you can tell the planet's strength. In the palms diffrent areas are divided by the planets just like jupiter under index and sun under the ring finger and Saturn under the middle finger if the portion or mount on palm in not upper lift its means it is weak and if its upper lift and soft its means it in good position but this is not just we have to look there are other things depends like texture , colour, softness and signs and marks .example =

Angelina joile

( its from google not mine )

Look at her venus its lord of luxury sitting in 2H as the lord of 5H and 9H its means she got really lucky in the case of wealth , fortune , beauty and creativity talents and its gave her immense wealth . Now look at har palm and venus mount which is under the thumb .

And here close up .

( pic are not mine )

The are is bright and upper lift and and bright with not zig - zag line with soft texture and pink colour so its shows the planetary effects in palm also .example 2=

jeon junkook

( pics not mine )

Its his chart and his venus is in 9H in Libra as lord of 5H and 10H which is a good position thats gives him luxuries and wealth through his career and gives him popularity now look at his hand .

( pics not mine )

According to this pics he has a very good venus mount which gives him luxuries, luck , wealth and a mole on it which gives him strong attrition toward the opposite gender . Example 3=

Sign thats indicates body parts

( ignore camera quality)

Here the lecture i am listening and you can see the sign which represents our body parts and in hindu mythology and traditionan we often see people touches the elders person feet for blessing and the feets in astrology indicates pisces means Jupiter which give luck and fortune . So if we touch someone or eldrs feet they are giving us fortune and luck with blessings . Example 4=

My palm

( ignore the camera quality)

My sun mount under the ring finger is not up lifted and not fully develop and often in my childhood i faced issues with self esteem , shy , introvert ,and bullied too much as a child and my sun in my horoscope is badly placed because of saturan aspects. This is all my reserch and observation .

( again if not all the final results we need to check more things)

Hope you like it

[pascallatte]

Slip-ups

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x actress!reader

Date: Jan 2019

Warnings: none I think but maybe a hint of something.

A/N: this is from y/n's POV and can be a 2nd part of the series but this is a long way from that. yeahhh. Hope you guys like this!!

Y/N L/N Answers the Web’s Most Searched Questions

“Good Afternoon, this is Y/n L/n and this is the wired autocomplete interview,” you started with the most monotonous voice you could ever make

-Autocomplete suggests the most common searcher on the internet-

“I am very excited, I’ve been wanting to do this since like forever but you guys never invited me, which was sad,” the camera then proceeds to zoom in your faces as you looked at the lens with a very menacing look. 

-So WIRED asked Y/N L/N some of the internet’s burning questions- 

Giggling to yourself, you sat back and took the first board that was given to you.

With a bright smile you said “Alrighty WIRED let’s do thisss!!!”

“Is y/n l/n….related to Sarah Paulson” with a scoff you shook your head and released a very breathy “NNOooooooo” 

“ But I’ve been asked this questions a couple times now and as much as I want to be related to Sarah, we are not.”

You looked back at the board, read it a few more times then nodded.

“ But we are sisters though, just not by blood.”

-Cut-

“ Is y/n l/n Elizabeth Swann”

“Oh!! Yup I am the Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Caribbean” you explained as soon as the question was revealed

“ did you know that not many people knew I was in that movie? And the reason?” You excitedly asked as you looked at the staff behind the camera.

“Was my fucking dark blonde hair!! Now hold on before you guys on the internet hate on me, let me explain.”

Hands up in a surrendering position you began “Look I loved that role, the series, the people, Orlando Bloom,..” You winked” but blonde just doesn’t suit me, AT ALL, and keeping that hair as blonde as it can is a freaking nightmare so after I’ve finished wrapping up the last of that film series I told myself never EVER!! Take a role that needed my hair to be dyed.”

-Cut-

“ Is y/n l/n a sagittarius”

Smiling to yourself as you recall a memory, you look down and answered “ Yes, yes I am because as you all know I was born on December 1987- GOSH I’m old” you cut yourself as you’ve registered the words that were said.

“But that is all I can tell you, 'cause I’m not that much into horoscopes or zodiacs or whatever but Pe-“ you cut yourself once again.” But uhmmm, someone once told me that I am the "embodiment" of the Sagittarius sign and that we sagi babes are most compatible with an Aries?? I think”

A small smile was seen on your face as the video cuts to the next question.

-Cut-

“ Are y/n l/n and Pedro Pascal friends”

"Hhmmm are we? I mean we hang out, send tiktoks to each other, and he steals my fuzzy socks a lot….” you nod off while listing all the things Pedro has done to you in the past week, in mind.

“ I guess we are friends? nO, I’m just kidding we are, the best might I add”

You beamed at the lens as you rattled on, “of course we’re friends, we’ve been friends for quite a while now and I thank sister Sarah for that. But yeah, I mean who wouldn’t want to be friends with that guy?”

You once again looked at the staff who was nodding at you to continue.

“ He’s friendly, goofy, a great storyteller, and actor” you winked again that was accompanied by a snort,  “and a great person in general…ah he also shares his empanadas so that makes him an even Better Greater person HAHA!!”

You then throw the board to the ground as you jump out of your seat

-Cut-

“Who does y/n l/n play in Narcos”

“ I play a DEA agent from Barcelona, Spain named Catalina “Lina” Mendoza, she is the love interest of Javier Pena and who is played by the one and only Jose Pedro Balmaceda Pascal, who is the partner of Boyd Holbrook aka Steve Murphy” proudly you crossed your arms and leaned back in the chair.

-Cut-

“What is y/n l/n first movie”

“Ahh this is a great question, uhmmm my first movie was released way back in ’99 and it’s called the sixth sense. Which was a great experience and opened up my little 11-year-old mind up more into the acting industry.” You answered while thinking back on that more to add.

“ I mean it is a minor role but I got to meet Bruce Willis and act with a very close friend of mine, Trevor Morgan.” You added before looking back at the board.

-Cut-

“What is y/n l/n doing now”

“Since this will be released, I don’t know, a few days or weeks from now I’d try to answer what I would be doing at that time” you scratch your chin as you think of what you would do without saying too much.

“I would either be at home, chilling, drinking wine, while watching a movie OR” you exaggerate, “ I’d be out partying or hanging out with a few friends of mine, yeah I think that’s about it.”

-cut-

“ How can I meet y/n l/n”

Laughing you said, “Well, I’ll probably be in my favourite cafe during my spare time so maybe you guys can drop by and have the courage to say hi,” you tease but was followed by an “I'd rather have you do that instead of taking a, what you think is a discreet, picture of me and the one person I’m with” you ended with a forced smile.

-Cut-

“How old was y/n l/n when Pedro Pascal”

“Guys is this asking what I think it's asking HAHAHAHA” you burst out with a laugh while kind of nervous that you would say something out of line.

“ Well uhm, if you’re asking how old I was when we met, we met through Sarah way back in early 2012 she invited me for a new year's party, so that makes me 24??” You answered with an eyebrow raised.

“ Buuutt,” you dragged.”If you guys are asking about that scene in the second season of Narcos, that you guys are thirsting on about. I would be at around 27 years while shooting that I think. Sooo yeah. Kids don’t ask about those narcos scenes please, better yet don’t watch it until you’re like 25 or 50”

-Cut-

“ How tall is -“

“ No No! I won’t be answering that question yo-“ 

-Cut-

With a huff you looked at the camera, “ I am 5 foot 3....and a half…. On good days I'd be 5'4 and 5'5 with heels. But hey I’m not even that small, the people around me are just giant abnormal-looking non-human beings” you point at the lens

“YES YES IM TALKING TO YOU MISTER PASCAL, so stop teasing me”

-Cut-

“Ooh would you look at that the last question!” 

Ripping the paper as fast as you can it says “Can y/n l/n dance?” 

You noticeably perked up at this but before you can answer a voice came from behind the camera and said “No!”

“ Hey! I mean I’m not a good dancer but I can dance properly you know. I flow with the vibe of the music you know what i’m saying!!! Yeah?”

-Cut-

 You were seen grinning before you were called on camera.

Throwing the board behind you once again you say “ Well WIRED, that was certainly interesting and this might be one of the most... chill... interviews I’ve been on! Can’t wait to do more! Bye!!”

COMMENTS

Fan 1: that was…..entertaining

Fan 2: the slip ups OH MY FUCKING GOD

Fan 3: the way she called out the paps HA serves you right!!

Fan 4: i love how most of the internet asks about y/n and Pedro indirectly. Like girl, we’ve been waiting for years.

Fan 5: Oh so this is the girl, Pedro was seen with the other day. She looks too young, I don’t get why people ship these two, he wouldn’t go for immature younger women. ↳ Fan 4 replied to Fan 5: Girl be fucking for real they've been dating for years now, try to look it up.

Fan 6: I love her friendship with Sarah and Pedro!!! And it looks like she was adopted by Sarah Paulson the same way she did with Pedro HAHAHAH oh and we got crumbs on her hanging out with Pedro with that sharing of food thing

Fan 7: I NEED MORE Y/N CONTENT, SHE IS THE QUEEN, MY LOVE, MY WIFE AND BABY!!!!

Fan 8: so is no one else curious about who said “No” as soon as that dancing question was revealed, cause all I know is that it sure ain’t one of the staff. ↳ Fan 7 replied to Fan 8: HOW THE HELL?? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW THEY'RE TOGETHER?! I'm speechless

Fan 9: she’s so smiley and goofy in this interview, must’ve had a lot of fun shooting this. ↳ WIRED replied to Fan 9: 👀 about that…. ↳ fan 9 replied to WIRED: why? what’s happening

Fan 10: The sarcasm when asked if Pedro's her friend is killing me😵 ↳ Fan 8 replied to Fan 10: aren't they friends though? ↳ Fan 10 replied to Fan 8: girl go search it up. i just, can't. this is because of his rising fame, everyone doesn't know that much yet. what more if this continues for the years to come.

Fan 11: The comments of old Pedro fans and new Pedro fans are funny.

A/N: so we got a little back story for y/n and her friendship with Pedro and Sarah ahhhh. ay, this doesn't directly follow my last fic, but I wanted to put this out earlier. Just to let you guys know this series follows a timeline I've done so that would explain why there are dates and stuff at the beginning of each fic. That's all, Thank you!! Bye for now.

[shibaraki]

tags: GN reader, migraines and headaches, sensory overload, fluff, mutual feelings, caretaking, implied reader works at tokyo jujutsu high

wc: 1.3k

Satoru can feel it coming.

His focus wanes ever so slightly at first. The energy around him flickers like heat from a flame. Unnatural blips of light dapple his vision, closely followed by a high pitched ringing in his ears. No pain at that point, but his heart hammers awkwardly in his chest because he knows it’s inevitable.

There’s always a generous twenty minute window before his condition takes a hard turn for the worst. Twenty minutes to finish whatever he’s doing—be it fighting, paperwork, training or teaching—and leave with an acceptable excuse.

It’s lucky that Satoru spent years spitting out frivolous, inane things for the sake of antagonism or distraction. People usually waved him off, weary exasperation etched into their brow, never asking questions. Trusting that Gojo Satoru had somewhere important to be. Shoko knew from the start, and that was always one too many.

Then you came along. Too perceptive for your own good. Migraines rarely happened but whenever they did you were all glassy eyed looks and gentle nudges. Satoru, starved for touch and dreading how the pain should soon fill his skull like lead, would feel infinity warp just for the sake of letting your knuckles brush his.

This time he’s lounging in the cold, clinical hallway leading to Shoko’s office waiting for her prognosis on the transfigured corpse he brought back. The cheap luminescence irritates his eyes, and the words he’s reading coalesce into a pulsating blur that won’t readjust no matter how many times he blinks.

Suddenly the magazine on his lap is slapped shut as you lean on the back of the bench, putting the full weight of yourself onto your palm, cursed energy spiking a fraction. “You look peaked,” fingers brush back the loose hairs over his forehead as you softly continue, “Maybe you should go home and rest”.

Not for the first time he is grateful for the mask fastened around his eyes. It does nothing to stave the sensorial discomfort today but at least it conceals his thoughts. “Rude. I was reading my horoscope,” Satoru juts his chin, breathes in steady and huffs through his nose, feigning offense. The forced exhale alone is enough to make him wince.

“See,” you tell him, though not unkindly. Your hand covered his clammy forehead and he tried not to nuzzle into it, already sensing the agonising tip of a spear weedling through his temple. “You’re a little warm, too”.

A door clicks open. Regrettably your hand yanks away and Satoru grits his teeth before he can whine. The atmosphere ripples as infinity seeks to cover him whole. Shoko’s heels echo through the liminal space. Shadows cast across her face under the doorway, highlighting the goading twitch of her mouth. “Am I interrupting?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says at the same time as you reply, “No”.

Shoko scrutinised him a moment longer as Satoru wet his lips and leaned against the heel of his hand in an attempt to discreetly alleviate the pain. While you very notably do not bring up your concerns Shoko realises anyway. “It’ll take a while longer to take this one apart,” she lies smoothly, fiddling with her gloves and snapping them over her coat sleeves. “You might as well go home for now. No point loitering”.

He notices how your cursed energy settles into a relieved simmer, drawn closer when he stands from the bench. “Doesn’t usually take that long,” he commented, purely for show, barely hearing himself over the shriek piercing through his ears.

“Must’ve lost my touch,” Shoko replies dryly. Her gaze slides to you, and gentles. “Can I trouble you in getting him there?”

You nod your assent, “No trouble. I’m heading back that way anyway”.

“Oho? Gonna take me home?” Satoru drapes himself across your back then, pressing his forehead to your warm shoulder. His eyes fall closed and he inhales, the long day mixing into your scent.

You sway under the abrupt weight but you don’t shrug him off. “I’m walking with you, not carrying you,” came your disgruntled voice, betrayed by the contentment visibly spreading through your body. Patting at his hip you tell him, “C’mon, let’s go”.

The journey to the dorms is nothing short of a sensory nightmare. Residual cursed energy clings to every nook and cranny, brighter now and grating to look at. Sweat gathers at his nape as the pain intensifies. You hold his elbow, one palm curved around the pointed edge while the other slips into the crook, giving intermittent squeezes as if to reassure him there’s not long left.

Satoru is both deeply relieved and frustrated to be seen through so easily.

It’s a small mercy that nobody else is around. By the time you’ve guided him into the dorms, Satoru is holding his own head up with his hand. Your murmured incantations tether him until the wooden bed frame knocks the back of his knees and he lowers delicately onto the mattress with a staggered breath.

“How often does this happen?” you ask, reduced to a whisper. While Satoru tries to find it in him to answer, your fingers cradle the back of his neck and recline him onto the pillows, so as not to jostle him further.

This is where he’d interject with a suggestive comment, smile as your pulse quickened, revelling in the effect he has on you even if you don’t intend to act upon it. But the vulnerability renders Satoru useless. He remains in pliant repose, spilling out across his bed like loose yarn, letting you work at the buttons of his shirt.

Soon enough he’s left only in his underwear, chest rising and falling in exertion, and not for any of the reasons he’d like. He hears you tug the curtains shut and pad further into the bathroom. The turning of the tap, the quick running water, all without switching on a light. You return to his side and trail fingertips over his covered brow. “Going to take this off, okay?”

Satoru angles his head in response, allowing you to work at the hook there. His blindfold comes undone, silky ends ghosting over his cheeks, and despite the lack of it he still flinches away from the possibility of light.

The tenderness is overwhelming now. Harsh throbs ricocheting through his skull. He recalls the first time it happened. Back then Satoru had simply attempted to sleep it off. Hours interrupted, restless and nauseous. Angry too. Betrayed by his own body. His bloodline. His technique. Laid trembling in a puddle of his own sweat, the pain carved out a violent loneliness inside of him.

Gojo Satoru does not get to be weak.

“I’ve got you,” your voice ripples through the mire of self loathing, and a cloth saturated in cold water is placed over his eyes, shrouding him in solid darkness once more. The cool sensation seeps into his sockets, and soothes. He shudders.

“There you are,” fingers splayed over his cheek, thumb stroking back and forth over the swell. It’s then that realisation shrikes through him. You’re concealing your residuals. Satoru lolls into your palm and sluggishly thinks of the implications. The words get caught in his throat. Every thought frays and he barely has the strength to grasp a single thread. All but one.

Stay.

“I’m staying over,” you say, as if plucking his plea from the air.

“No dinner first?” Satoru replied. He had meant to be teasing, but his voice cracks at the edges. Consciousness is sand and silt sifting through his fingers. He sighs and paws at your waist as you apply pressure to his temples in lieu of a response and begin a slow, circular motion. The pain ebbs.

“Try to sleep and maybe I’ll let you take me somewhere”.

Satoru’s arms tighten where they’ve coiled around you. He can’t see your expression, nor can he discern your energy. But he hears the promise in your voice, gentle and deliberate.

“Mmn,” he relaxed in small increments, tongue too big for his mouth. Moisture from the cloth trickled down his jaw, behind his ear. The world steadily falls away from him. “…’Kay,” he slurs.

In your capable hands, he sleeps.

[learnastrowallura]

💜The 8th House in Astrology💜

The source if this information is The Astrology Podcast (Chris Brennan) on Youtube and from the book The Twelve Houses: Exploring the Houses of the Horoscope by Howard Sasportas and I will add a personal example as well

8th house: the occult, loss, taxes, loans, debt, inheritance, banking, accounting, investment expertise, others' finances, others's values, shared assets/values, merging, sexual intimacy, transformation, regeneration, the hidden, the unconscious, mediums, spirits, ancestral work, shadow work, trauma, fear, death, giving things, succedent

What we inherit (money, knowledge, family heirlooms, businesses, assets etc), our relationship with other people's money, how well off financially or in terms of value systems are our partners, how we set boundaries in terms of intimate relationships, our sexual nature, the themes that trigger transformations in our lifetime and how we handle that type of chaos and regenerative process, how we process and handle our fears particularly relating to loss, what kind of destructive thoughts/behaviors we might have or face sometimes, our relationship with our shadow self etc

Personal example: Gemini in an empty 8th house

I have an empty 8th house so it seems that the topics mentioned at the start are not so significant for me, however I am a Scorpio rising so my whole life is "transformative" lol it is just less emphasized like this I suppose

As for Gemini in my 8th house for me, it could indicate an innate ability to advise people on what to do with their money? This was purely an intuitive interpretation tho and since there is no emphasis on my natal 8th house I will let it go for now

What I have witnessed in the past as well is that I've always had a talent for helping people have breakthroughs; however with my Sagittarius energy and Mercury conjunct Pluto I may have come accross as too blunt and intense, and so this has only worked in situations in which the person knew me kind of well/trusted me and/or for some reason was not fazed by my intense energy and demeanor (Note: I have an Aries moon too lol)

With introspection and communicating my thoughts to others I can trigger transformative phases in my life whether good or bad but the main point is my relationships dictate a lot whether it is a start, end, break etc it always affects me and somehow feels like a shedding of my old self which very much aligns with the concept of death and rebirth in my opinion

Another thing to note is that the conjunction between my Mercury (8th house ruler) and Pluto (my chart ruler) takes place in my 2nd house of finances which makes me think that this theme in particular is quite important for me

Oh and rn I'm 19 so I am in my 8th house profection year and I'm healing from past connections that kept me stuck in life as well holding myself accountable for everything which has been cool like lots of ups and downs for sure but I do feel reborn and close friends have noticed and have been talking to me about the transformation as well haha I am receiving a lot of recognition, affection and praise <3

I might make a post resuming profection years in my own style/perspective soon but @lilacstro has posted about in detail already so check that out here x

Thank you for reading <3

Masterlist

Paid readings available

x

[rogloptimist]

AND ALL MY DEVOTION TURNS VIOLENT

when i make one web weave i am physically unable to not make at least three more (credits under cut)

ada limon - the good fight // mads pedersen, tadej pogacar, jonas vingegaard, and wout van aert - stage 16, tour de france 2022 // tadej pogacar and jonas vingegaard - stage 17, tour de france 2022 // tadej pogacar and jonas vingegaard - stage 11, tour de france 2024 // romance - elaine kahn // american sonnet for my past and future assassin - terrance hayes // tadej pogacar and jonas vingegaard - stage 18, tour de france 2022 // tadej pogacar and jonas vingegaard - stage 17, tour de france 2022 // horoscope for the heartbroken - schuyler peck // tadej pogacar and marc soler - stage 17, tour de france 2023 (anne-christine poujoulat, getty images) // vingegaard marches towards tour de france title as pogacar cracks - julien pretot // jonas vingegaard - stage 15, tour de france 2024 (IMAGO) // pogacar wins in high mountains to deal blow to vingegaard and extend tour de france lead - kieran crichard // peripety series - jen mazza // tadej pogacar and jonas vingegaard - stage 7, tour de france 2024 // mabel, episode 28: matryoshka // tadej pogacar and jonas vingegaard - stage 7, tour de france 2024 // it's a circus and we all paid to be here - ashe vernon // the winner's kiss - marie rutkoski // tadej pogacar and jonas vingegaard - podium ceremony, tour de france 2024 // you are the apple - lady lamb // tadej pogacar, brandon mcnulty, and jonas vingegaard - stage 17, tour de france 2022 (gruber images) // i don't smoke - mitski // tadej pogacar and jonas vingegaard - stage 17, tour de france 2022 // tadej pogacar and jonas vingegaard - stage 20, tour de france 2024 (presse sports, belga images) // vingegaard and pogacar 'allies' says former tour de france champion - AFP // 'now we have a fair fight:' pogacar remains bullish despite vingegaard counter-punch at tour de france - andrew hood // the fall - alan stephens foster // vingegaard vows to keep swinging at imperious pogacar: 'we will fight to the end of the tour de france - andy mcgrath // i'm your man - mitski // jonas vingegaard - stage 18, tour de france 2024 (gruber images) // tadej pogacar - stage 18, tour de france 2024 (gruber images) // tadej pogacar and jonas vingegaard - stage 9, tour de france 2024 (getty images)

[captainpondlilly]

Okay! The Gilear plush has arrived. This is my best attempt at all of his lines. Two have been unintelligible to me, and several are pretty long and fast which made it hard to follow.

My search history is.. hospitals near me, foot stuck in object, head stuck in object

You're low, he's low, It's Gilear's day baby!*

A guy on the street kicked me in the nuts as hard he could

I don't like "lunchlad"

Help me to understand what I have done to deserve this

My horoscope says "today is a good day to die motherfucker"

I ate a quick cup of yogurt on the way over here to bolster my spirits after I changed, I'm ever so sorry

What do you mean "When" life gives you lemons

I went to apply for the guidance counselor position but I was usurped by a drug dealing werewolf named Jawbone

In my haste to put the armor on I buckled the leg plate and think I clipped the tip of my penis against one of the leg plates and Everytime I move it feels like it might fall off so I ASSURE you demon I have no pride to speak of!

In highschool I was voted "Most Likely To Get Pushed Out Of A Tree"

My car was repossessed by the ride share app that I was working for

It's actually a good thing that no one came to my birthday party because the bounce house flooded and was swept out to sea

I just discovered that *all* of my emails have been going to everyone's spam

Unfortunately I have been banned from that hot air balloon service not because of anything that happened to me in particular but the guys who run it just sort of know my whole deal

Mmm this yogurt tastes like *potatoes*

I asked the woman at Home Depot why my plants kept dying and she said it seemed like they were reaching away from the sun

I've found out recently that one of my shoes is so filled with mildew because a pipe in my bedroom is leaking and I've developed a fungal infection in my foot which I didn't know was possible for elves to get

I don't think that I've ever "Peaked" in that we started neutral and have been going downhill ever since

I am currently trapped in a storm drain. The bottom half of me is above the ground, the other is below

Another Own Goal for Gilear Faeth, yes

Everyone knows you eat 7 spiders in your sleep every year, but I have a bunch coming into me the backway

My sandcastle I'm afraid was destroyed, as I was about to finish it, the tide came in and with it a man holding a bazooka who shot me and killed me

I know you're not going to believe this but Ive just been kicked by a snake

I found out the hard way that people can legally reject status as an emergency contact

The title of my autobiography is going to be Gilear Faeth: Please Stop

On my way here I was carrying a large bowl of Italian wedding soup which shattered on the ground in front of me and several of the small pasta balls rolled through the cracks and alerted vermin to my presence. I've since learned after a trip to the hospital I am deathly allergic to the sting of millipedes which is a way of me saying I need someone to come down to the hospital and pay for this. There is a doctor holding a gun to my head and now that I think about it this clinic is in the back of a storage unit and I think have gone to the wrong place

he said and I quote "he'd stomp my goon ass" if I ever got on his bus again

Gorthalax it was very nice to meet you, you've made a cuckold of me

We're the throw up boys!*

I've been informed that the brownies I consumed were laced with cannabis and rat poison

I am completely unprepared for the perils ahead and am deeply frightened, I'll go get the coffee

A gorilla monster punched me so hard in the back of the head I died

Today I have been hit by 3 scooters

Everytime you squeeze my hand it breaks several small bones

My imaginary friend as a child ghosted me because he said I was too depressing

Do you want me to go back? I warn you, it will break me

Can I interest you in an herbal soda? You must understand I am an intern at a ponzi scheme*

When I go to sleep at night I dream of a world where I might be able to walk through a field without stepping on a rake or gopher hole

If anyone needs me... I will be surprised.

If it wasn't for bad luck, Id have no luck is both true and what was written upon the billboard I crashed through

I wonder if any of these will feature in Junior year 👀

*Thanks to @cappa-cappa for telling me the lines I wasn't able to make out!!

[uyuforu]

this is a dumb question but how do you make a solar synastry chart? could you please explain it with a example?

How to make a Solar Return Synastry: Uyu's Tutorial

「 ✦ Hello! This is not a dumb question at all, as many other people didn't get that either! I'm gonna do a full tutorial so people can check with easy steps! ✦ 」

Step Zero: Introducing our example people

Person A: Mrs. Juno, born on 01/10/1994 at 1:11 am in New York, NY

Person B: Mr. Jupiter, born on 01/04/1997 at 11:11 am in Los Angeles, CA

Mrs. Juno & Mr. Jupiter are a couple, and wishes to check their synastry over the year 2024.

First, they need to see their own Solar Return Charts for the year.

Step One: Checking each person's Solar Return

ִ ࣪𖤐 Go on Astro.comִ

ִ ࣪𖤐 Go on the 3 bars

ִ ࣪𖤐 Free Horoscopes > Horoscope Drawings & Data > Extended Chart Selection

ִ ࣪𖤐 Enter your personal informations in "Horoscope for:" (Edit) (for this step, write your birth date and birth time, not the year of the solar return!)

ִ ࣪𖤐 In "Chart Type:" click and search for "Solar Return Chart*"

ִ ࣪𖤐 Then, make sure to write 2024 (or the year you want to check, the rest of the date doesn't matter from what I observed, but the year does).

ִ ࣪𖤐 You can go down and add asteroids or other additional objects before checking the SRC.

ִ ࣪𖤐 For a romantic relationship, you can add Juno, Union, Briede, Groom, Boda, Vertex for example.

ִ ࣪𖤐 Once you are done with that, you click on "Show the Chart"

ִ ࣪𖤐 Save your SRC, and then go back to repeat all those steps with the other person.

Step Two: Creating a Solar Return Synastry based on two Solar Return Charts

ִ ࣪𖤐 Let me show you our two Solar Return Charts of Mrs. Juno & Mr. Jupiter for 2024:

ִ ࣪𖤐 Now, we are going to create a synastry with these two charts. We are going to take this date (each written in red), with the timing too!

Mrs Juno: September 30, 2024 at 7:37 am in New York, NY

Mr Jupiter: April 1st, 2024 at 1:17 am in Los Angeles, CA

ִ ࣪𖤐 Now, we are going back on Astro.com > Free Horoscopes > Horoscope Drawings & Data > Extended Chart Selection

ִ ࣪𖤐 We are going to change our personal informations to that:

ִ ࣪𖤐 Now, on the "Chart Type:" we are going to select "Synastry Chart (2)

࣪𖤐 This should look like that:

࣪𖤐 Finally, you can add again some asteroids and some additional objects! And click on "Show the chart". You have your Solar Return Synastry for 2024!

Final Words

You have to save every solar return charts of you and your person of each years to make synastry about other years. Follow the tutorial once again for other dates such as 2022, 2023, or 2025, etc. Just replace the year with the one you desire to see :)

Hope it helped!

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