#i am so mentally exhausted
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Current read after finally finishing the Iliad and my reading journal (I decided to sit down and reflect on some books I have on my wishlist, why they are there and why I feel interested in them at the moment, it was actually quite fun and a nice form of reflection, I might end up doing it again every once in a while as I add new books to my wishlist).
18|01|2025
Some updates after a few days of being too tired to post my daily entries. I am growing more and more tired which isn't ideal, and tomorrow I will have to break my personal rule of not studying on Sundays, which is a necessity I am not happy about. I am studying for my history of political and social institutions exam and I don't feel confident at all. I will manage to do the bare minimum for it so I am partially hoping in being lucky by getting the right questions on the day of the exam. Moreover the exam is going to be very early and not at my uni, but in a whole different building I don't know. Which adds to me being very anxious, because I cannot even count on the comfort of knowing my surroundings. My levels of anxiety at the moment are over the roof, I've had a continuous stomach ache for three days and overall I feel super tense. I really cannot wait for it to be over so I can rest. The one positive thing I am looking forward to next week is getting my new tattoos! I will give up on a morning of studying for it, but when I got my appointment exam dates weren't out yet, and since tomorrow I'll be studying I guess Monday morning will be my half day of rest. I am trying to stay as positive as possible, thinking I will get the right questions and that everything will be alright, but ngl it's not so easy for me rn.
馃摉: Elektra by Jennifer Saints
#i am so tired i hate this so much#i have that stupid feeling of 'i want to go home' but who is going to tell my brain that i am home?????#uuuuuugh why is it like this every single fucking exam season ugh#i am so mentally exhausted#studyblr#studyinspo#uniblr#university#journal#studying#productivity#journaling#knife gang#mine#the---hermit
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Can we please flash forward to when I鈥檓 in England please.
I need a fucking break. 馃槶馃檭
#when you want time to pass quickly the slower it passes#i am so mentally exhausted#i need to be drinking tea in london & admiring the countryside asap#my soul needs this to feel some sort of peace#text post#personal#diary
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How nice it'd be to be taken care of for a while?
#borderline personality disorder#bpd#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#spilled ink#3am thoughts#adhd problems#adhd brain#adhd things#mentally drained#i feel so drained#emotionally drained#i am so tired#im so tired#we are so fucked#im exhausted#mentally exhausted#bpd triggers#bpd problems#actually adhd#adhd#vent blog#personal vent#vent post
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im so fucking useless
#all I do is consume without contributing anything to society#i feel so guilty for eating breathing taking up space buying things producing trash wasting people's time and energy#literally my existence has no meaning#why am i alive#literally w.o.r.t.h.l.e.s.s.#tw depressive#tw depressing thoughts#tw depression#depressing shit#sorry for being depressing#im exhausted#i hate everything#i hate my self#more than anyone else#i dread having to exist#self h@te#i'm sad#mentally tired#vent#venting#personal
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ngl kitten, mommy nature is having a bad time rn
#idk actually am just doodling#ceres fauna#hololive fauna#hololive en#holoen#bleeart#their pokemon unite stream was actually so good i went back to watch fauna playing moba games#and i got this mental image of fauna walking out of her room exhausted and salty after a 5-hour battle#kinda wanna play a moba now but that feels evil
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Love these little dorks 馃挒
#knd#codename kids next door#numbuh 3#numbuh 4#3x4#wally x kuki#my art#credit to my bro for these designs!! 馃挒馃#ALSO i鈥檓 so sorry for the lack of art atm i am mentally exhausted and studying ;_;
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Made this for that Discord art challenge.
#joker out#kris gu拧tin#bojan cvjeti膰anin#jan peteh#nace jordan#jure ma膷ek#speedruned this in 18 hours#i am physically and mentally exhausted#i hope yall like it and other people like it and i win but honestly#i don't like the final result as i hoped so#i tried making colors match but in the end they look maybe too dull#but maybe i am overthinking#idk#gonna go continue being academic victim
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Oops. It's a second headcanon compilation!
Don't worry, the next one will be back to our normal schedule of regular text posts and not headcanons
Masterpost
#Dark Meta Knight#Shadow Kirby#Meta Knight#Kirby#King Dedede#Daroach#marx kirby#Magolor#Bandana Waddle Dee#Bandana Dee#Marx#Kirby series#kirby headcanons#text post meme#text post memes#disability headcanon#okay I wanted a particularly exhausted Dedede so I snagged him from triple deluxe#i just think Dedede would have chronic pain from. you know. getting torn in half that one time#before you come after me for Magolor's panel: I do not think ocd and intrusive thoughts make you do bad things#I just think he already had it and the Master Crown made it worse (via lingering magic from the possession)#i dunno how mental illnesses work in aliens that use magitech#I had a lot more here but I decided I'm not going to continue rambling in the tags#I can expand on any of these headcanons at any moment if you want feel free to ask#also I saved that Kirby one for last because I thought it would hit with oomph#she speks#she speks originale#she edits#yes I'm working on the masquerade I am just obsessed with making text post memes
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no intelligent thoughts only thinking about what will happened if Logan and Wade were stuck in the backrooms?
Idk why but this obsesses me???? Both because it would be so fucking funny AND absolutely terrifying at the same time but also can you imagine Logan being so lost and confused, Wade who knows everything about the backroom because ofc he does (why, how, nobody knows) and leading the way on top of explaining EVERY BIT of the lore to Logan?
sorry i needed to talk about this and expel it from my system i swear
#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#deadclaws#deadpool 3#wolverine#deadpool#logan howlett#wade wilson#poolverine thoughts#random ramblings#random thoughts#why am i thinking about this seriously#maybe im insane idk#or i watched too much videos about the backrooms maybe#if i wasn't so exhausted i would have tried to write something#but uuuuh works start to feel heavy on my shoulders and my mental health sooo
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thinking about bruce in that two week period after jason鈥檚 death where he鈥檚 still finding jason鈥檚 hair on all his sweaters
thinking about bruce noticing and leaving the hair there. him folding the sweater carefully and refusing to wash it until he absolutely has to
anyway yeah bruce during that period after someone you love dies where they鈥檙e gone and you know that but you鈥檙e finding their hair everywhere and their sheets still smell like their shampoo and the cologne they鈥檝e been wearing since they were 13 and they鈥檙e gone but they鈥檙e everywhere
sorry i have a death anniversary coming up and am losing my mind (projecting)
#fic in progress#bruce wayne#jason todd#can you tell i love them#grief#dealing with grief#jason todd and bruce wayne#i am unwell#i am so mentally ill#grief is exhausting#grief is a bitch#batman#batfam#dcu#dc comics#a death in the family#hair#hair holds memories
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wanted to make a takenaka art dump to practice for potential fic art but i ended up just doing a full piece after the first sketch.whoopsie
#qkdraws#id in alt#mob psycho 100#mob psycho#mp100#takenaka momozou#i like his hair it's fun#pose was fun to do too .did u guys know i like clothing folds have i mentioned that#shoes are becoming slightly less evil things to me but they're still annoying and i hate them#am i only capable of drawing converse ..........................................perhaps#took a break from drawing ritsu 695736572916 times to draw takenaka once.back to ritsu i go#so. fun fact#i made this like a week ago and had it in my drafts for a few days#and then sunday i debated on posting it but i didn't have the id written yet and i was very mentally exhausted#so i decided to wait until i had enough energy to write the id#the very next day i realize. sunday was takenaka's birthday.#i coulda fuckin posted my ONLY takenaka piece on his birthday. ididn't even know it was his bday. i didn't draw it for his bday#i coulda timed that so well.i coulda been so cool.but no#anyway uhm.happy late birthday takenaka
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i'm so mentally exhausted, i mostly make it through my days with sugar, concerta, 1990s pop playlists, and sheer willpower.
#i need to finish this test storyboard today#then tomorrow make the chapter headers for my book because i'm very picky and want to design them myself#then i'll take a week mental break (that's while working 40h/week) before jumping on the commissions i have left and then the kickstarter#it's going to be all worth it but lord i am so exhausted i haven't stopped since i lost my job in september#wish me strength
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Never let others know the weakest part of you because they will use it against you and hurt you so much and scar you enough to make you suffer in silence.
#mentally bruised#mentally fucked#mentally exhausted#personal growth#mental health#painful#feelings#quote#love#hurtful#i am so tired
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Admitting I cannot function on my own lmao. Every day im close to giving up haha. Where鈥檚 the person I used to be lol
#emojis and hahas to hide how serious I am#im so close to giving up#every day I get closer#actually bpd#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#bpd feels#vent#vent blog#mentally exhausted#actually mentally ill#actually borderline#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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Calling out of work will never not feel terrible terrible bad terrible but I have to remind myself that I work for a corporate company so :/
#granted it feels terrible in the context of our individual atore#cause my manager is really nice#and i hate to call out but im sp exhausted#like cannot fathom getting out of bed rn tired#idk how long i slept but could have only been like an hour#smthn occured to me today about my 'sudden' health issues#is thag theyre not sudden#and i have a ballpark of when they started#but i have to make a timeline#i just didn't notice them the way i am now cause mental illness tends to distract me#and i also tend to just go go go until i cant anymore#i didnt notice them as much when i lived in the city cause i walked EVERYWHERE and couldn't afford to#pay attention to my body#so yeah#symptoms have been there since January 2022 at least#prob before that but i dont remember much of that
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