#i am just. tired. and i need rest | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

miesozernacma · 2 months ago

Text

it is 10pm and i feel like the way i developed as a human wasn't the most optimal. and i want a start over button to appear over my head

so i can learn how to properly study

to take care of myself, by myself

to find a plan for actually learning things instead of just understanding them enough to have passing grades and a surface level understanding that doesn't lead me down any specific path in my life

to have a moment just to understand what im really about.

who i am

#i guess i can admit I'm internally struggling a little bit lately #i feel completely distanced from my human identity #much less a gender identity #i am just a being with eyes and a mind to myself in my head #i identify as the nervous system/j (kind of true because i am a person RIDDLED with anxieties)#now i also feel very distant from my identity as an artist. a creator #despite the fact i draw and draw every day #and i haven't really stopped drawing ever #theres always a day i draw Something. anything #i just dont feel like im...REALLY drawing or CREATING yknow #its just the same creatures over and over. standing around looking pretty and personified idk #i do feel stuck in place like theres really nowhere im going with the things im drawing #i havent touched ibis paint in like a week #i feel adamant to set up my teeny plugin drawing tablet and laptop #i feel adamant to creating.#think ill blame this on no sleep and too much stressful school #with the focken assignments and approaching finals (in a year and a half lol?) and whatnot #i am just. tired. and i need rest #and i will NOT do a single school related thing starting tuesday #cw rant #cw vent #vent #miesozernacma

0 notes

lilybug-02 · 8 months ago

Text

What drawing for 16 days strait does to a mf

#yeah I’m tired. 🥱 just need some days of rest to get back the art groove.#I don’t post for two days and I’m feeling bad for not posting. social media addiction am I right?#glad I’m taking a break #bread

480 notes · View notes

s3rrrpentine · 27 days ago

Text

ghost!ghost wip

#wip #ghost!ghost #ghostsoap #soapghost #ghoap #soap x ghost #ghost x soap #cod fanart #fucking finally #my bad ghost!ghost enjoyer lol #wanna ramble here no need to read #big depressed for the past few weeks and busy as heckkk #had to socialized with people a lot #and be sad #the negative energy was strong bc someone died #also i know i said i'm gonna disappear but it's just a mindset thing really #as if mybody is not gonna do that just to spite my own self #like oh you wanna rest??? NUH UH #it's strange but it worked so here i am #and i did some jounaling??? writing a diary thingy??? pouring my heart out into it kinda #good for my mental bc it's relieving and made me forget of my woes #i'm sad still but it's manageable now #the tired feeling won't go away though #sorry for complaining and being the way i am #thank god for ghostsoap my sun and my moon

227 notes · View notes

ra-vio · 18 days ago

Text

ravio I started drawing spring of last year

#loz #legend of zelda #a link between worlds #ravio #albw #what i tell ya? a ravio this year!!!!#listen i am so tired. i have been tired for like 12 weeks #now I just came from a 4 week #i messed up. from a four week vacation that i didn’t relax during at all. not a SINGLE SECOND RELAXED #id be angry as hell if that wouldn’t take the rest of my energy #anyway i finished echoes of wisdom today finally. cute little game. made me really sad #its not a sad game but multiple times it made me really sad and. i dont have time to think about why #i didn’t really like the final boss. or i think itd be a little better if we got to be link but just by a little #it wasnt great. none of the bosses were tbh. i cant remember a single boss #zelda needed a weapon. and i would like to have more concrete puzzle solutions. we echo too many items for me to remember what i have #especially when i was picking up from gameplay i last did in october #wouldnt be as much a problem if i was playing consistently every week #that was a little of my problem in totk too. the puzzles were too open. they were so open in fact that nobody solved them ‘correctly’#thats all i got i need to do my hw and close my eyes

91 notes · View notes

kj-beastboy · 3 months ago

Note

Pregnancy as a kink makes me uncomfortable so man am I glad your pregg Flug stuff is explicitly not kink oriented!

yeah I... don't wanna judge anyone... but it's more than that, it's downright terrifying to me. Blame my hormones bc I'm expecting irl but wow... I'm very sensitive and it feels dehumanizing. but ig that is kinda the point of the kink(?)

it's so common in fandoms!

I'm completely vanilla anyway tho, so not surprising.

I've tried to pretend for a super long time that I'm into kink, but most of them are off putting and I consider them intrusive thoughts, not fantasies. I'm kinda fluctuating between sex-repulsed and neutral (aroace) even fictional... ig kink just isn't for me. I tried so hard to get over it. I know some people in my asks/requests are gonna be disappointed but I'm sorry💔

I'm slightly ashamed of how boring I am and I have serious trouble connecting to anyone in fandoms due to this actually🤕 feel like the most NT autistic person ever.

anyway here's a doodle!

#that's autism for you #I'm sadly really picky and easily grossed out by things #I'm not even trying to be judgemental #I wish I was such a person that is just chill with everything but I have more icks than likes #so my fandom experience is like 80% discomfort and trying to avoid things without shutting out the majority of content in the first place #from what I heard I seem to have this problem particularly in this fandom bc the series is horror.#and I ship a toxic ship.#but I neither enjoy horror nor this trope. so what the fuck am I doing here #how did I get here. I'm lost guys #but yeah; it naturally attracts more people that are into quite dark or hardcore things #and I'm just sitting here with my soft dick in my hand wondering where it all went wrong #i don't belong here #I can't relate to 99% of people #honestly? I just... like Flug....... I just adore the autistic scientist #and I wanna SMOOCH him but I can't identify too well with myself or thus my sona #so how the fuck am I gonna smooch and love on this man #I need SOME second character for this!!#well Black Hat is pretty cool and easier to draw than the rest; I like his design...#so here we are.#I'm not really in it with my heart. I don't understand the essence of this ship. I'm a fandom blep #that's why a lot of content is probably disturbing and upsetting as hell to me.#but that's just my theroy..... a Joshi™ theory #sorry for rant I am bored and tired😔#enjoy #villainous #villanos #dr flug #kenning flugslys #my art #ask reply

91 notes · View notes

affluent-havoc · 3 months ago

Text

silly boys

#danganronpa #danganronpa art #danganronpa fanart #danganronpa byakuya #byakuya togami #danganronpa makoto #makoto naegi #naegami #it is 2am on my end #i need to rest but i felt compelled to draw the boys cus i feel it's been a while since i've just drawn a pic of the two of them being cute #specifically i mean a pic of the two of them in the same room interacting together. not just the two vaugly together #but yeah. i'm going to conk out so hard now cus i am so tired and exhausted but it was worth it for the silly guys being silly together

77 notes · View notes

jasperyourmutt · 5 months ago

Text

zonked out on the dog bed snoring up a storm. you come over and rub the soft spot on the top of my nose. i let out the most contented sigh

#blllllaggggh busiest doggy everyday of my life and i am exhausted #ye beware of sadposting ahead. more like just need to get thoughts out of my headposting yk. im ok just tired #friend said to me today 'youre always doing something these days jasper when do you rest?'#and i was like huh good question! i dont hahaha. damn #which is not a bad thing always. but my plate is incredibly full and i have no one to help me #im in a really good place. things are happening that ive wanted to happen for years. but i have no time to take care of me #and the ppl who are supposed to take care of me dont. and they let me down everytime i try to ask for it. which im used to #but it doesnt make it any easier. theres just not enough hours in the day and not enough energy in my little doggy body #i used to be able to push myself past the wall of exhaustion. but after my therapy program ik i just can not do that anymore #im really proud of myself. being an adult is hard. im doing everything right. but i just wish i had someone by my side to help me #anyways.#i am a very good boy #yapping #if youre reading this hi im just venting im fine. its just been a long day and i want someone to give me a head massage #jasperbarks

65 notes · View notes

nartblartmallcop · 23 days ago

Text

i love making gijinka designs 💗 but i got so into my usual groove while drawing that i completely forgot skin colours do Not work like that in antonblast... not to worry i made them some wacky palettes too

45 notes · View notes

dapurinthos · 2 months ago

Text

Last line challenge, again, drawn from the trenches of 'only dialogue no actions yet' drafting:

“Master Windu doesn't hate you, Skywalker, he just has the best resting bitch face in the entire order.” “Don't you mean the worst?” “No. I aspire to his greatness.” “If that's his excuse, then what's yours?” “Oh. I don't have one. I actually hate you.”

#keeping up with the skywalkers #galaxies far far away may be closer than they appear #rereading 'jedi trial' and the overabundance of anakin's 'master windu doesn't like meeeeee he's GIVING ME A MEAN FACE' just.#just made me snap. i am so tired of it.#mace windu and eli vanto need to have a resting bitch face face-off #ari's one goal for unarmed combat class when age 13: black widow-style thigh-choke out skywalker

20 notes · View notes

fisheito · 1 year ago

Text

my princess nonsense is being encouraged watch ouyt imabout to be eneaabled

OK WHATF ATHAT'S SO CUTE I HAD TO MAKE IT i know realistically there's little to no chance that rei DOESN'T know how to work heels �� BUT IMAGINE.....ING.... YAKUMO GENTLY GUIDING REI IN HEELS, WEEKS BEFORE THE BIG GALA AND HAVING NONE OF HIS NORMAL FEAR OF PHYSICAL TOUCH BC HIS [TEACHER MODE] IS OVERRIDING HIS INSECURITY

#rei looking directly at the camera like why are you subjecting me to this. i do not need any of this. i know how to do it #rei wearing stilettos the size of your head so he becomes ur very tall bird goth gf #you know how yakumo gets when he instructs someone on how to cook something #he becomes confident and just tells ppl how to do stuff without his usual amount of stutter and secondguessing #i'm gonna pretend that after his stiletto training in misty vale he gains a TINY MOLECULE of confidence due to experience #like [i can help you if you've never done it before?]#honestly i can't imagine this scenario happening because i am so SURE that rei can walk in heels HAHAHA even tho nothing has proven that #SOMETHING COME PROVE ME WRONG SO MY DELUSIONS CAN SLIDE CLOSER TO POSSIBILITY #anyway even if rei didn't know how to wear heels #would he ever mention it? would yakumo ever learn of it?#rei would probably be all . i don't need to wear heels. they can't even see them under the dress. i'll wear my practical shoes #but if he can't get away with that and will be forced to wear heels at the party...#maybe he'll go [meh. i'll figure it out] and just not wear them until the day of the dance #at which point his feet will hurt after 20 minutes and for the whole night he takes any chance to sit down #rei can be frequently spotted on SOME surface SOMEWHERE in the palace. sitting all splayed out and uncaring of propriety #because he is in PAIN and these shoes are STUPID and why do people wear them for ANYTHING . Royals are so IMPRACTICAL #yakumo keeps trying to avoid heels for the dance because he doesn't want to be any taller than he already is #i bet there's a full convo about it between him and eiden #eiden trying to reassure him that if he wants to wear heels then he shouldn't let others' perception stop him from doing so #but if he genuinely doesn't want to wear them then that's ok too #eiden craning his neck up at yakumo in heels like you're my pretty princess 1-2 heads taller than me your height doesn't matter 🥰#i'm now torn. yakumo and rei both wearing heels now? in order to stay at similar heights?#or. rei starting out with heels. getting tired of them. going barefoot for the rest of the night lol #yakumo and rei still dancing in their ballgowns together but a much shorter rei leads a yakumo in heels #yes. yes this is the vision #yakurei #replies #nu carnival yakumo #nu carnival rei

58 notes · View notes

alchemania · 1 year ago

Text

Finally got enough energy to talk about Furina's SQ and while I loved her and the troupe, MC and Paimon were .... Not Great. I talked about this with friends but in Paimon's case especially, the way they interact with Furina feels like people who just don't understand trauma and depression and then engage with someone suffering from both in all the wrong ways.

Talking about how much of a downgrade her house is from the opera house, making fun of how she can't cook, pushing her to act when she's set a very clear boundary and then guilt tripping her after she's stuck to her guns, shaming her for not being able to fight well (Paimon literally talks about how second hand embarrassment is overwhelming and I'm just like ?????), telling her she's "not acting like herself" when she attempts to open up and be vulnerable....it's just really rough. That and the MC asking "is something wrong" when Furina gets sad over Poission ..like bro people died and she couldn't save them and she's tearing herself apart over it. Those people are never coming back and you know it and you have the gall to ask her is something wrong??? Of COURSE there is!!

It just feels especially odd because we literally get to see all of Furina's suffering and Paimon in particular is. SO mean? Like she was more understanding with Wanderer and Ei and THEY'VE tried to kill us multiple times!! I don't get it, and honestly I'm very proud of Furina for refusing to waver. Let her rest!! She's tired and depressed and she needs time to heal; and honestly fuck Paimon for trying to make her feel bad. Furina's worked harder than she EVER will.

#as someone with depression and who's highly sensitive this story quest hurt a LOT because ive also encountered people who don't understand.#i've been told i need to get over my anxiety. i've been asked what am i so tired from since i just lay in bed.#so furina's character and how she was treated hit very very hard for me. she's isolating herself and not coping well but she is TRYING.#she's trying so hard and she equates her worth to her role. like she literally tells you that she serves no more use to anyone.#and i wanted to shake her so hard. because it's not about what she can do #she has worth simply because she exists. full stop. she is loved and she is appreciated just for being herself #her worth isn't decided by her power yk??#i hope she can rest and heal and find some good friends - after the way mc and paimon treated her i honestly don't think they should be #or if they are; they'd have to work to earn her trust cuz good LORD. they treated her so weird and so tone deaf!!#i've seen a lot of people complaining about it too so im glad im not alone.#anyway. there is something wrong with me i have cried actual tears over furina please god she needs a hug #and to be told she did a good job and she can rest now and things will get better #4.2 spoilers #genshin impact #furina

100 notes · View notes

lesbiansanemi · 16 days ago

Text

Currently trying not to vomit over the fact that I essentially just lost almost a thousand dollars brb

#why me. why is it always fucking me am I just not allowed to have good things WHAT have I done to earn this kinda karma #my stupid fucking idiot roommate decided to resign the lease at the complex so I naturally contacted the landlords like hey. how does that #work with the security deposit cuz I paid that years before she even moved in do you guys need to come inspect the place after I leave #and they were like oh no ☺️ it just carries over to her. and I’m like. so. so even though I am not living here nor am on the lease #whether or not I get NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BACK hinges on this JACKASS not wrecking the place???? actually not even then because say #she DOESNT wreck the place when she moves out TURNS OUT the deposit goes to her cuz it’s her name and account attached to the fucking #apartment and I’m just left sitting here like how. how is that fucking fair how does that make fucking sense I have to trust that she doesnt #ruin the place OR GET FUCKING EVICTED BECAUSE SHE HAS NO JOB AND NO WAY TO PAY RENT and then also trust her to just give it to me when she #moves out. I’m actually sick I’m actually gonna fucking throw up and the landlords were like yes exactly ☺️ perhaps you could work something #out with her and she could buy you out of it and I’m just like. she doesn’t have a job she still hasn’t paid me for LAST months utilities #let alone this months do you HONESTLY THINK she is EVER going to pay me the 900 dollars I’m fucking owed #and it’s like does this actually affect anything? no. I didn’t budget with that money cuz I didn’t actively have it and that’s not smart but #like…. 900 dollars….. I could have paid off the rest of my credit card with that and also it’s just infuriating that that money is basically #just being GIVEN to this fucking bitch who I KNOW is not gonna keep that apartment in good shape and that’s again if she somehow doesn’t get #her ass evicted cuz she’s not paying bills why they even LET her sign her own lease there I do not understand she literally has no proof of #income but ig they probably didn’t check that cuz she technically already lived there I’m just so. I’m so tired and I’m so done can I PLEASE #stop being the one who constantly gets screwed fucking over in EVERY situation no matter fucking what #while all these fucking idiots and shitty fucking ppl get whatever they want and actively BENEFIT from me getting fucked over???? I’m done.#I’m so fucking done I am never living with someone ever again never being finanacially tied to anyone fucking again and you know what. thats #great goes well with me basically being convinced atp to never be vulnerable with anyone ever again and never trust anyone ever again and #never dedicate ANY part of my life in a genuine sense to anyone ever again I will be fucking alone in every sense for THE REST of my fucking #life and that’s that. it’ll be better. this kinda shit will stop happening. financially emotionally psychologically I will stop suffering #because holy fucking shit I can’t do it anymore man I’m sick of it I’m sick of trying to be a good person and depend on people and be #vulnerable and always uphold my side of the responsibilities and arrangements just to get fucking spit on like man if this is what being a #shit person gets ppl maybe I should try because they sure seem to get all the benefits and whatever the hell they want consistently and #always while I try and be considerate of others and devote myselves to them and this is all I fucking get for it #and ik I KNOW this is just the straw on the camels back and this is a lot of issues compounding and it’s not even about the money atp #but I’m just. I’m so fucking sick and tired and beaten down and I’m tired of trying I just want to be completely on my own #so at least if bad things happen or I feel like shit I only have myself to blame and it’s safer that way and I’ll have to stop feeling like #this and dealing with these types of things UGH

8 notes · View notes

anonymolly · 2 months ago

Text

.

#one of my silly little goals this year is to talk more about my accomplishments even though they aren’t super recent #I’m tired of resigning myself to being a burnt out former gifted kid. I studied at Oxford for a term.#I taught a college class. I TA’d for two other college classes. and volunteer TA’d for the department’s hardest course offering #because I was already being used as a TA that semester for a different class and the professor still wanted someone to run review sessions #I had professors fighting over me to do work and research for them! I had departments fighting over me! I did summer research!#I was the first person in my department in nearly a decade to ask to do a senior thesis. for fun.#I ran programs and clubs and I was a writing tutor for the writing center AND the resume lab/career center #I was the only person in my writing professor’s tenure to earn a 100 on my research paper for that stupid fucking class #in high school I was second in my class and did it while writing one-act plays for production and doing district choirs and acting #I’m so so so tired of beating myself up and falling to my knees and doing penance for the past 4 years.#I fumbled some stuff at the start of my 20’s. I’m an adult with ADHD that no one clocked while I was growing up.#I was supposed to go to St Andrews for an MLitt and then the pandemic happened and I had to withdraw.#I just need to get over it and stop agonizing over every misstep I’ve made since college #otherwise I’m never going to make it out of my 20’s alive #so yeah. for those of you who don’t know! I am a silly cumdrunk braindead good girl PART-TIME #the rest of the time I’m clawing my way back to the high standards I set for myself from first grade onward #my stuff #ignore me i’m rambling

13 notes · View notes

zackcharine · 2 months ago

Text

I need to try harder to get out of bed but augh

#🤖.txt #aghhfjg i really need to catch up on sleep. but i also want to do stuff but idk. this is dumb but nothing i do really feels worth the effor #anymore. Thinking like this is sad bc drawing is one of the few things i like doing and make me happy but idk #i might just go back to the way things were before. Just wait for the weekend and spend as much time drawing then #genuinely dont want to do anything at all this is so frustrating and im so tired and sad all the time #i know i should be using my break to focus on studying but with what time #Idkkkk i just really hate living like this #thinking about dropping out again but that would just mean house chores + babysitting full time while job hunting and idk if i can handle #that. I cant handle anything anymore and this is making me so sad . I want to be useful and do so many things but i reached my limit months #ago. I just wanted a week or two to just rest its all i need . But i know im never gonna get that again and at this point i might as well #just die but i cant do that neither bc i have shit to do #Everyone is always talking about how i have it so easy and how things are just gonna get worse bc they think me being home = me not doing #anything and idk. I cant take anything anymore and i think the most upsetting part of this is that i know theyre right #im not doing barely anything and i dont know. How to do more im just useless and ungrateful for the things i have #Really stressed and tired and literally nothing happened. Its gonna be 2pm soon and im supposed to wake up Earlier #But yeagh. this wasnt supposed to be this wall of text i just wanted to say that i might give up on art again for a while #aughhh i dont know how to do anything right idk how to live or take care of myself how am i supposed to raise someone .#this is. too much i think. I reallyyyyy need to relearn how to just talk to myself . I cant keep dropping these everyday and being . This t #evsryone around me. Everyone in my life deserves so much better than ill ever be #vent

10 notes · View notes

kakavashazz · 10 months ago

Text

idk man i just feel like if i knew that the guy i’m working with was actually a slave under the threat of death i just wouldn’t berate and degrade him all the time

#can you tell i can’t stand veritas ratio #it has really been bothering me that people have been mischaracterizing him because they are desperate to make him a nice person #like. listen #this guy is not a misunderstood good guy #he is a complete asshole with a generally good goal #Doing something kind after showing no compassion for like 3 updates does not change his entire character #I am VERY glad he said what he said to Aventurine in the end #he needed to hear it!!#but that simply does not negate the rest of Ratio’s behavior and i’m very tired of seeing people pretend it does #also just to clarify i think he is an INCREDIBLE character and i’m glad he exists. i just don’t think he’s a very compassionate person #anyway back to my normal tags #love of my life aventurine #love of my life kakavasha #aventurine hsr #hsr #hsr 2.1 #penacony #honkai star rail #dr ratio slander #veritas ratio slander

24 notes · View notes

borealopelta · 2 months ago

Text

conked out for nearly 12 hours which is really nice on a i slept less the past 2 nights combined level but also i was supposed to be up at 7

#i feel so bad i wanted to do stuff in the morning #i also need to work and i lost an hour of free time for that #also semi related and i know this is an asshole thing to say but i'm so tired of suicide watch #why does it have to be my responsibility that my roommate doesn't try to kill themselves again #i'm not a professional i'm not anything. i spent my field trip checking in every 2 hours to make sure they were alive & doing things #i come home and i can't rest because they're my literal roommate and now I have to exist in the same space #without the boundary of the phone #i genuinely can't deal with this and i feel horrible about it because i'm not the person who just nearly committed suicide #but i AM the guy who was traumatised by having to stop them and who's deeply exhausted by the aftermath #idk #everything is a lot rn. and i feel bad about sleeping in on top of all that. yay #veni veni

7 notes · View notes