#I don’t post for two days and I’m feeling bad for not posting. social media addiction am I right?
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lilybug-02 · 5 months ago
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What drawing for 16 days strait does to a mf
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jitteryjive · 4 months ago
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i need to remake my cup bros ref… both cup and human designs… it’s been almost a year(?) and i’ve developed the headcanons and i would like to share with the class!!! (i wrote thirty tags. Please help me)
#my little hc i kinda showed in the refs but didn’t point out: cuphead’s handle appears broken/in human form his ear is halved#cause he has microtia (that also affects the eustachiantube/middle ear). basically i am a HoH cuphead truther#also to add onto that i think he has poor auditory processing issues cause i also see him as AuDHD#double also. while he would use ASL on a bad hearing day i think regularly he also uses home signs to express words/concepts#autism-related btw. it’s actually a bit visible in insert cuphead media (to me at least LOL) that cuphead expresses a lot of body language#so not liking conversation oral or signed as well as replacing oral words w home signs is in character. at least to my headcanon whatever#floats your boat!#OH! plus his split upper lip that i draw him with isn’t related to the microtia. he just roughhouses and chipped/tore his lip open when he#was younger#cuphead is also a trans boy. it feels right to me LOL#even back in 2017 when i barely knew the game or also much about trans people i saw cuphead and was like hm. hm!#tbh he just pawned his clothes onto mugman. who i’ve also changed my hc for i see him more as bigender than a cis boy now#LOL. i cast bi on mugman. sorry buddy#OH HIM TOO. im so sorry mugsy i have like two headcanons for you 😭😭😭#she uses he/she 2 me. i like casting personal parts of myself onto mugman even if i gravitate more towards cuphead/chalice#i see him as a bi ace as well. and a hopeless romantic. i don’t ship uhh i don’t remember what it’s called#i don’t ship cala maria X mugman (respect though) cause i see the cups as kids and i’m also a hilda X maria shipper LOL#but in the show. i will be real that she is a hopeless romantic. Look at that dork#FORGOT TO MENTION. i am a cuphead aroace truther to my grave. KEEP THAT MUSHY ROMANCE OUT OF MY HIGH SEAS ADVENTURE!!!!#like i said w cuphead before mugman is AuDHD (they share. many genes LMFAO)#however the difference is that they express it in different ways; while cuphead’s is more linked to his hearing/social behavior#mugman’s is more related to her emotions. i see it through my headcanon colored glasses that especially in the show mugman has more#meltdowns between the two cups#he has high emotional sensitivity both in positive and negative ways; former as in being strongly attached to cuphead and latter as in#more prone to meltdowns as well as being very literal#which isn’t a bad thing of course. mugman we are shaking hands so hard we are the same#OK that’s all the ones i want to share right now. i also haven’t shared her human or cup design i did but i’m workshopping chalice!!!!!!#i am leaving her out intentionally she deserves her own post because i luv her so much#ok post over. twenty minutes dedicated to autism about the twins out of the trio#cuphead
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maaarine · 16 days ago
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Why are British teenage girls so unhappy? Here’s the answer (Caitlin Moran, The Times, Sep 13 2024)
"The report, by the Children’s Society, found that British 15-year-old girls are the most unhappy in Europe.
British girls aged 10-15 are “significantly less happy” with their life, appearance, family and school than the average boy — and their happiness is still declining.
Boys’ life satisfaction, meanwhile, remains broadly stable. (…)
But I still didn’t have an “aha!” moment about why this so disproportionately affects girls until… I talked to some teenage girls.
It was at a party, and I went to vape with them on the patio. Because I take my nicotine like children do.
“Duh — it’s the boys,” one said when I brought it up, as all the others agreed.
“The boys?” I asked.
My last book, What About Men?, had been all about how much boys struggle these days: their loneliness; their suicide rates. I’d spent the past year feeling very sympathetic towards boys.
“Yeah, well, who do you think they’re taking out their unhappiness on? It’s us,” another girl said.
“One boy at school used to draw a picture every day of how ugly I was,” a third girl said. “Every day for two years.”
“They’ve all got ‘Rate The Girls’ polls on their WhatsApps,” the first said. “They mark you down for weight gain, haircuts, what you say.”
“But then, if you’re hot, it’s just as bad, in a different way, because they’ll be talking about how they want to f*** you.”
The girls discussed coping techniques. Bad news: none of them worked.
“The only way you can stop them is if you become ‘one of the boys’ and hang out with them. But then,” the second girl said with a sigh, “all the other girls call you a slut. Because you’ve gone over to the boys’ side.”
“Surely it’s not all the boys?” I said. “There must be some nice boys?”
“Oh, yeah,” one girl said. “But they keep their heads down. Because… well, look.”
She showed me the Instagram account of her friend. Under every picture she posted of herself — smiling in a new dress; with her dog — dozens of anonymous accounts had replied with the most rank abuse.
“Fat.” “Slut.” “You gonna try and kill yourself again, for attention?”
“They’re all boys from her school,” she said. “And look, this one boy tried to defend her.”
I saw a series of messages from a brave teenage boy, posting things like, “You’re all big men, leaving these replies under anonymous accounts.”
As I could see, this boy immediately became a target too. Mainly accusations that he was “white knighting” this girl: “You wanna f*** her, bro?”
“So,” I asked, “you don’t think it’s social media pressure to be beautiful, or the economy, that’s making girls so sad?”
“Well, yeah, them too,” the first girl said. “But, Monday-Friday, 9-3, I’m not on social media. I’m not… in the economy. I’m just with these boys. And no one talks about how horrible they are.”
I thought about another recent report, showing a 30 per cent ideological gap between Gen Z men, who are increasingly conservative, and Gen Z women, who are increasingly progressive.
I thought about Andrew Tate, who has nine million mostly young male followers — and faces human trafficking charges, which he denies.
And I thought: maybe these girls are on to something. Maybe more people need to vape with teenage girls and ask them for the school gossip."
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unsolvedjarin · 1 year ago
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COMPLICATED — prologue
pairing: (fernando alonso x driver!reader) (grid x platonic!reader) — mostly older!grid
summary: you and fernando were known to be the biggest rivals on and off track back in 2012. that rivalry even crossed the line to pure hatred many years ago. but how did that hatred turn you two into the loving iconic couple of f1 you are today?
note: i’ve been dying to write this for AGES. it’s the fic that’s the reason i made this blog. keep in mind however this is just the prologue, so i’m simply setting up the story for where i want it to go. after this mostly social media chapter it gets plot heavy. anyways i hope you enjoy this!!!
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INSTAGRAM
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liked by danielricciardo, lewishamilton, and 528,293 others
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, aussiegrit, jensonbutton, sebastianvettel, lewishamilton
yourusername beach day with my boys! had so much fun pretending to know what i’m doing while surfing (do NOT trust mark when he says he’ll teach you how to surf. he’s horrible.)
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aussiegrit you falling off the board 272872 times was of your own accord, don’t blame the teacher!
jensonbutton mate you fell off your OWN board 272872 times, i think when it gets to that it’s the teacher’s fault
yourusername get his ass again for me jense
fernandoalo_oficial looking great amor! 🥰
yourusername thanks to my amazing photographer 🫶
jensonbutton what about the pictures i took?
yourusername they were definitely pictures!
fernandoalo_oficial posted a new story
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—2012
This was not Fernando Alonso’s year. Losing the World Championship by 3 points was not good on his ego nor on his morale, yet here he was.
Everyone was celebrating Sebastian now for having won his 3rd World Championship– but Fernando was angry. Not at Sebastian, but at you. 
You who had gotten first place. 
You who was third in the Drivers Championship and had no chance to pass Fernando on the standings, yet still overtook him during the last two laps. You couldn’t even let him win.
“Good race Nando,” he heard a voice in front of him say. He paid no attention to it.
Getting no reply from him, you scoff and put down your water bottle. “I know you’re mad at me for getting first, but at least have some sportsmanship.”
That gets him to look up and take a proper look at you, post race sweat and your race suit dangling at your hips. He thinks you glow look terrible in this light. Because he was sat on some stairs, you were standing over him, hands on hips with a slightly smug look on your face. 
“Don’t be a sore loser. It’s unbecoming.”
“I could have won the championship. I was three points away— three, and you could not even let me have that?” He gestures wildly. “I know you dislike me, but stealing my championship is far and beyond, L/N.”
He stands up, purposely hitting your shoulder as he walks past you. 
Oh the bastard. He wanted to throw out accusations? Fine. 
“Oh don’t be such a hypocrite. I stole your championship? What good would that even do me? I’m third in the standings, there was no way I was going to catch up to you,” you retort. Fernando was still facing away from you, but frozen on the spot. You knew he was listening. “I went faster because my contract with Mercedes expires this year. I’m losing my fucking seat, I need to prove to other teams I’m worth it. It’s bad enough you’re constantly fucking badmouthing my character to the press, and now you question my integrity as a driver? Honestly, Alonso, grow the fuck up. Not everything is about you.”
A silence befalls the room. Fernando doesn’t speak or do anything, and the seconds waiting for a response feels like minutes. He’s facing you at this point, speechless in his Ferrari race suit that looks fucking great on him. Too bad he’s a shitty person.
You sigh, exhausted. “Nothing?” 
He shakes his head and looks down. Of course. He’s got nothing to say. Resigning, this time you’re the one to walk past him and towards the door behind him. He tries to look at everything else in the room that wasn’t you, the walls, the stairs, the tables, but that wasn’t enough to avoid your exasperated look that he could see through his peripheral vision.
He should’ve done something, anything. Stop you from walking away, tell you he’s sorry, just something. But he didn’t do anything. That was his first mistake.
One of many.
—PRESENT
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MAHK WEBBAH
once again asking if we can change the group name
JENSE
it’s correct though? But while we’re on the topic of the groupchat can we change the photo
YOURNAME
no
its beautiful whats wrong with you
JENSE
okay then we’re not changing the group name
MAHK WEBBAH has left world champs + mark
YOURNAME
give him a few minutes he’s having a temper tantrum because skysports labelled his name as “Sebastian Vettel’s former teammate”
SEBBY
IJBOL
NANDO
??????
JENSE
??????????
YOURNAME
where the fuck did you learn that
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AUTHORS NOTE: i know some of these are ooc but i had too much fun making the fake tweets 😵‍💫 this is quite a plot heavy fic from here on out, so put on your reading glasses!
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suhkusa · 4 months ago
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HELLOOOO i see you opened ur req👀 can I req for suna or atsumu suddenly getting a girlfriend, like hardlaunching her on social media, after almost a year of being on and off... can it be angst to comfort/fluff (pls i want to cope so bad from my prev situationship bahaaaaahahha) tysm just so u know i love u and ur works and prolly the first one to like em immediately>< <3
CASUAL.
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PAIRING. Atsumu Miya x f!Reader
CW. hurt/comfort, angst to fluff, situationship-to-relationship lol
A/N. ouchhh i hope this is good anon ><
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Being in a situationship with Atsumu Miya was the absolute worst.
Sometimes it felt like he was stringing you along in his little game, while other times it felt like you two were truly meant to be together. 
There were many invisible boundaries in the relationship, or talking stage, or whatever he wanted to call it, that were made without having to say a thing. 
It was mutually exclusive, so no talking to other people romantically.
You two didn’t post each other on social media.
The two of you would make it official when you both were ready.
The rules were easy to follow. Though, you had always been a bit iffy on the third one. When would the two of you deem yourselves “ready” when you’ve already been talking for so long?
———
The worst part about Atsumu, was that he was so indecisive. 
One minute, the two of you could be acting as if you were a married couple. Going on dates, spending time at each other’s houses, and late night calls. The two of you even had pet names for each other! 
But then the next minute, he decides his volleyball career is more important. Or that he’s too busy. Or that he wants a break. Or that you’re too controlling. So many excuses, yet every time he calls out to you to come back, you come running back head over heels. 
And it hurts. It hurts being with him even though you two had never made it official. How could you feel so tethered and intertwined with a man who never had the guts to ask you to be his and only his? Who never posts you on social media?
You weren’t controlling. You were just tired of this cat and mouse game. You just wanted certainty and reassurance. 
Was that so much to ask for?
Apparently for Atsumu Miya, it is.
“I don’t get it Atsumu, why can’t we just say we’re together? Everyone already knows we basically are!” you sigh. 
The two of you sat in his apartment as the TV played in the midst of your argument. This was definitely one of the worst arguments that had occurred between you two.
“If we’re basically together then why can’t you just be happy? Do I need to ask you out? To post you?” he rebuttals, his voice clearly agitated.
“Because! You haven’t asked me out. That stuff is the bare minimum yet I’m here begging. You’re so comfortable in this weird limbo talking stage where it’s so easy for you to leave me and then hope I come crawling back!” you cry, you hadn’t even realized you started to cry. “I’m so, so tired of this shit!”
“If you’re so tired, then leave!”
Usually during the short breaks of your situationship with Atsumu Miya, it was always him who had decided to call it off. But his words had snapped a cord in you that had already been thinned to its last thread.
The two of you share a tense look, both unmoving. It’s you who decides to break the silence.
“Me? Leave? Hah, fine. I will,” you’re quick to grab your bag on the side table.
“Wait, Y/N-”
“And don’t expect me to come crawling back to you, Miya. This time you really did it,”
He freezes when you open the door, eyes filled with tears as you look back at him. 
“Bye,”
The door shuts before he could say anything.
What was he supposed to do now?
———
If Atsumu knew one thing for sure, it was that he was stupid. 100%, a million times over, he was an idiot.
His concept of love and relationships were hindered during his high school days. The ability to commit was a hard idea to grasp onto. 
But you were different. 
You were kind and patient, unlike any one he’s ever known, and he was undeniably scared. Scared to lose you, scared to fuck up. And so what did he do every time he got scared?
He ran away and gave you some bullshit excuse. But even then, you’d come back time and time again.
But now it is different. He told you to leave and you really did. You wouldn’t come back to him willingly.
Atsumu’s stupid. That’s why he’s at your doorstep in the rain.
He rings the doorbell. He’s shocked when you open it on the first attempt.
“What are you doing?” your quiet voice says.
Atsumu takes in your disheveled appearance. You definitely had been crying based on your swollen eyes.
“I—” Atsumu can’t find the words. He’s really scared.
“If you’re going to yell at me or ask me to come back, you better be ready to beg me Atsumu, I’m not doing a stupid “talking stage” or some cheap crap you come up with,”
“I’m sorry, I-l fucked up really bad,”
You don’t say anything in response, allowing him to continue. 
“I love you so much,” he’s stuttering, “I’m really scared but I want to try with you, I want to be with you, for real this time,”
“And if I say yes, are you just going to leave me when it’s convenient for you?” your own voice sounds a bit hesitant. 
“No, no. I promise you. I mean everything that’s coming out of my mouth,”
You look like you’re lost in thought for a split second before you speak. “I’ll be with you, Atsumu. For real,” you smile as you mock his words.
Another moment passes by, and before you know it, you’re kissing him and he kisses you.
———
ATSUMU MIYA HAS MADE A NEW POST.
[tsumumiya]: my person ❤️
[yn.lnnnn commented]: ughh loves it <3 ure so cute ml
>>> [tsumumiya replied]: I LOVE YOU!!!!!
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© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months ago
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AITA for saying I was uncomfortable with a 21 year old flirting with me?
I [18FTM] have been perusing the dating & sex scene since I just turned 18. I met this guy on Lex (it’s basically a dating app/social media for queer people, where everybody’s age is public), I’ll call him Tony [21FTM]. We started talking for a while, just platonically, until I made a post asking about hookups in the area. Tony messaged me asking if I’d hook up with him, and I told him no, thanks without explanation. He accepted that pretty easily.
That day, I went to my friends [All 19-22] to tell them about the experience. I was being a little dramatic/ over exaggerating my discomfort (like “Why does he want to sleep with a TEENAGER 🤨”) but just because that’s the humor my friends and I have (since I’m the youngest, they always jokingly call me a minor even though I’m well over 18 by now). But after the sillies I just straight up told them I felt weird about a 21 year old wanting to have sex with me.
(Obviously, I know I’m an adult and I know there’s not really anything inherently wrong with an 18+21 year old hooking up or even dating in most circumstances. I don’t think Tony is a creep and I don’t really judge him for trying to sleep with me, I just felt creeped out by it since I still felt/feel very young (this was just a month or two after I turned 18) and I had only ever slept with or dated people within a year and a half age gap. I am also aware I probably should’ve said in the post that I was only interested in 18-or-19 year olds, so that is My Bad — again, I am not judging him, just making my personal feelings clear).
Anyway, I thought venting a little to my friends was mostly harmless. Except it turns out Tony was one of my friend’s COUSIN. And now Tony was upset with me because he thought that I thought he was a creep, and my friend was upset with me because she thought that I thought her cousin was a creep. Y’know.
My friend (who is 20 and originally agreed with me, saying something like “Yeah, I’m 20 and I can’t even look at an 18 year old that way, that’s weird”) suddenly felt like I was being mean and judgmental and a “puritan”, and Tony was all but crying in my DMs, apologizing profusely, which made me feel terrible. I tried to explain myself to both of them but now Tony and my friend wouldn’t talk to me.
Idk, AITA?
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imyourbratzdoll · 6 months ago
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𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚
part 1 of 🌧️welcome to hell🌧️
summary - you begin to spiral as you are betrayed by the two people in your life, causing you to question if everything was a lie.
warning - ANGST, !SMUT BUT CHEATING!, heavily detailed cheating, heartbreak, betrayal, bad thoughts, swearing.
18+ only please, the gif I use isn't mine, headers by me.
part 2
Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.
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Do you remember the pain of your crush rejecting you? The pain of a man you like, liking someone else? The pain of your boyfriend leaving you for someone else? Or the pain that you feel when you find out your partner is cheating on you? The pain that only love seems to cause. Because you know that pain extremely well, that pain has only embraced you recently. Like a flame wrapping around your body, slowly slithering inside of you, and burning your insides. That afternoon STILL haunts you, no matter how many times you try to push it out of your mind; the thoughts, the touches, the feel, the smell, everything is still so alive and killing you inside. It was the day you understood how powerful love could be if used improperly. You understood why so many people were afraid, why so many protected themselves against it. Some people don’t change… They just find new ways to lie. 
Your best friend, Sarah, who you had known since you both were five, your mum’s having met while watching you on the playground, watching how you both clicked. Your bond had only grown stronger the older you got. Had come into town after having planned to hang out for much needed girl time and you had invited her to stay at yours and Johnny’s house.
You were rushing around the house ensuring that everything was set up, even though Johnny had told you everything was done. You huff. “Baby, are you sure everything is ready and perfect?” You asked your husband, your fingers entangled with one another from nerves as you played with them. 
Your husband was Johnny Storm, famous ex–playboy. When you had met him. He was annoying, he was hilarious, he was the world’s biggest arsehole, he made you want to scream, he would ruin your day and save it at the last minute, he drove you crazy, he was out of his mind, you hated his guts, and he was everything you wanted. Somehow, you made it work. You had thought he changed.
Johnny grins, pulling you into him causing you to sink into his hold. “Yeah, babe. It’s going to be fine. Why are you stressing so much?”
You shrugged, biting on your bottom lip. “I haven’t seen her in a while. I just want everything to be perfect. I want her to feel at home.” Oh, how those words would come back to bite you on the arse. 
He kisses the top of your head, “She will, babe. Don’t worry.” 
Once everything was sorted and checked about twenty times. You hear a car pull up and quickly head towards the door and as you swing it open, arms wrap around you and pull you into a hug. You both squeal, squeezing each other. Your chin rests on her shoulder, eyes closed and smiling. Yet, her eyes were open and set on your husband with a smirk. You pull back, smiling brightly as she mimics yours. “I’ve missed you so much! I’m so glad you could make it!”
Sarah licks her lips, eyes flickering over to Johnny’s before going back to yours. “I wasn’t going to miss this opportunity!” You didn’t know that her words seemed to have a double meaning. You helped her with her bags, leading her over to the guest room which is next to yours and Johnny’s. The two of you chatting away as you catch up, your voice filled with such happiness, such pure joy. 
The afternoon rolled around, and you both decided to start getting ready, after spending the day in the pool before dinner, you both desperately needed to wash the chlorine off. You let her shower first while you picked out your outfits, once she was done, a small towel tightly wrapped around her body. You headed into the bathroom, her close behind so that she could do her makeup. It had become a routine that you had grown used to growing up together. Neither of you were bothered by it. 
You stripped once you had turned the shower on and ensured it was hot enough, when it was, you got in, the heat caused steam to coat the glass, making it foggy and hard to see through. You could only make out blurry shapes and Sarah’s fuzzy figure. You decided to take a longer shower, dinner wasn’t until later and you wanted to make sure everything was properly shaved, washed, and rinsed. 
You were so zoned out while lathering yourself with soap that you didn’t notice Johnny sneaking into the bathroom and standing behind your best friend. His arms moved around her body as he began pressing kisses onto her exposed flesh. He pressed his bulge into her towel covered arse, groaning quietly. Sarah leans back into him, covering her mouth as he bends her over the counter slightly, lifting one of her legs onto it. “Keep doing your makeup, babygirl.” Johnny grunts quietly, running his fingers through her soaked cunt. 
You moved under the water, sighing as it hit you, watching the soap roll of your body. Johnny’s head turns as he checks to make sure you haven’t noticed. His hand strokes up and down his hardened member before he slides into your best friend’s cunt. His gaze turns back to hers, watching as her mouth falls open. He smirks, thrusting all the way in as he leans close, whispering into her ear, making sure to keep their eyes connected. “You missed feeling me inside you, didn’t you? You’ve gotten so fucking tight, such a good girl for me.” She moans softly, rocking back into him. Johnny bites his lip as his thrusts pick up, the rush of being caught fucking his wife’s best friend makes him so fucking hard. He wondered if you would catch them, wondered how you’d react.
His eyes roll back at the thought, hands gripping Sarah’s hips tightly as he pounds into her harder. “Fuck, babygirl. I’m gonna fuck you so much while you’re here. Gonna pump you so full, make up for lost time.” One hand leaves her hip and moves up to her hair, gripping a fistful, pulling her back against him, she still tries to apply her makeup as he fucks into her harder and faster. Her eyes flutter, desperately trying to make sure she doesn’t screw up anything, her mouth falls open as Johnny begins to pound into her sweet spot, her hand drops and she grips onto the counter, pushing back into him, meeting his thrusts. “What a little slut.” He grips her hair tighter, nipping a sensitive spot on her neck, groaning when he feels her tighten around him. “You like getting fucked by your best friend’s husband while she’s in the room, huh? Like being my dirty girl?” 
Their heads snap over when you open the shower door slightly, their movements not stopping, Johnny only fucks into her faster, a shiver rushing through him at the thought of your eyes connecting with theirs, watching him ruin your childhood friend. 
You grab a small cloth to rub some shampoo out of your eyes, not noticing the two in the room. You close the door and go to continue your shower until a moan cut through the air. Your brows furrow, wondering if you imagined it or if someone really did moan. Your question is answered as the moan is followed by a muffled shut up and you begin to focus on the glass, squinting to try and see who is making the noise.
Johnny growls lowly, his hand covers Sarah’s mouth, cupping it roughly as he fucks into her faster. His other hand slides between her and the counter before finding her swollen clit, rubbing it. Their eyes focused on each other’s as he rests his chin on her shoulder. He fucks and looks at her so intimately, more intimately than his own wife. Johnny’s thrusts become rougher and sloppier as he feels his end approaching. He had missed her sweet, tight cunt. Leaning forward, he whispers. “You better fucking take my cum and keep it in you while you are with my wife, I want to see it still there when I come into your room tonight. Understand, slut?” Sarah whimpers, fucking herself onto him as she nods.
Your eyes widen and tears immediately fill them as you see the figures through the glass. You had wiped some of the steam off only to see your husband fucking your best friend and your hand shoots up quickly to cover your mouth as you try and muffle the sob that tries to escape. You couldn’t pull your eyes away, no matter how much you wanted to. It was like watching a car wreck, you wanted to look away but no matter what your eyes would not stray. You felt sick, your stomach twisted and your heart broke. They didn’t seem to care that you were in the same room, that you could catch them at any moment. You DID catch them…
Johnny grunts, fucking deep into her soft cunt. He feels his tip twitch and his balls tighten, she felt like heaven to him. “I’m going to cum, babygirl. You gonna be a good girl and obey me?” She nods and he lets go, burying his cock deep inside of her, his cum spurting out and painting her walls white. His head falls back, cock still twitching as cum continues to leak from his tip, his hand still rubbing her clit as she cums around him, squeezing his thick cock with her tight walls. With a groan, he slides out of her and tucks himself away. “Good girl.” 
Sarah spins around and smiles, she gets on her tippy toes and places a rough kiss on his lips, as though she was claiming what was hers. His arms wrap around her, pulling her closer as he deepens the kiss. Johnny pulls back, smiling down at her with a look not even you had seen. With a wink, he leaves the bathroom and Sarah rushes to fix herself, trying to make it look like nothing happened while you sit broken on the shower floor. 
You pull your knees close to your chest as silent sobs slip from your lips and your eyes close. You couldn’t get the image out of your head, them fucking and kissing was engraved into your brain. You don’t want to think about it, but you know deep down that this was probably not the first time, especially with how comfortable and familiar they already seemed with each other. Your throat clenches as the need to throw up hits you, you gulp as you try to stop it. 
“Hey! You nearly done? We gotta get ready or we’re gonna be late!” Sarah’s voice cuts through the rushing water and the tower of thoughts filling your mind.
“Y–” You clear your throat, trying to get rid of the quiver that attaches itself to your voice. “Yeah!” You reply, not having the strength to say anything else. You watch through the glass as she leaves the bathroom, probably to get dressed or fuck your husband again. The thought causes another wave of tears to fall, how had your life turned upside down so fast? You quickly finish up, not daring to go close to the area they were. You could see there was some cum still on the floor and it had made you feel like throwing up again. You couldn’t bother with makeup at this point, you hurriedly got out of that room and into your bedroom.
You could hear the game on downstairs as well as Johnny’s shouts, so you guessed that he was down there and your supposed best friend was here, in your room… Where you sleep next to your husband, falling asleep to whispered, ‘I love you’s’. The clothes you had picked out for her were already on and showing off an extreme amount of skin. You could’ve sworn those clothes were bigger. “Finally! How do I look?” She turns, hands on her hips. 
You had to pull yourself out of your thoughts when she spoke, you could feel yourself slipping. You swallow and nod your head. “...Great.” How were you supposed to act around her now? She was staying for the weekend, and it seemed they probably weren’t going to stop. Was this why Johnny hadn’t slept with you since your wedding? Your eyes widened as you thought back, you hoped your thoughts were wrong, prayed even. “Uh… I might have to cancel for tonight.” You cough, hands falling to your stomach as you put on your well–practiced sick face, you had to play it out that you felt sick. Which wasn’t really a lie… “I think I might’ve come down with something… Or the food I ordered last night might’ve not been so good…” 
Sarah pouts. “Well, that sucks.” She looks down at her clothes. “I don’t really want this outfit to go to waste though, do you mind–?” You shake your head, wanting, NEEDING her to leave. If it were any other situation, you would’ve questioned her selfishness and lack of care, but it really just made sense on why she was fucking your husband. Your grip on your towel tightened as you held it closer to you, following her out as she leaves. You didn’t miss the way Johnny looked at her or how she smirked at him. Has it always been like this? Were you really that blind? You quickly utter a bye before hurrying past your husband without sparing him a look. 
But you weren’t so lucky. “Aren’t you supposed to be going with her?” He had followed you, watching as you slipped your pyjamas on. You didn’t like him seeing you naked, not that you now knew you weren’t the only one. You hadn’t looked at him once, but he didn’t seem to care.
“I… I felt sick so she went herself.” You chewed on your bottom lip to the point it began to bleed, but before Johnny could see, you sucked your lip into your mouth. You crawled into your bed, suddenly feeling dirty as you peered down at it. Had he brought others into it? Was it tainted like your marriage? You quickly shook off the thought and laid down, curling into the mattress, and pulling the blankets closer to you. You needed to think and cry, you didn’t know what to do. Your life had just been flipped upside down and you had no one else, where would you go if you left him? Have other wives felt this? Had they stayed until they had things sorted or left and figured it out on the way? Johnny nods, shrugging before he leaves. How could he switch up so fast? You didn’t sleep with each other, but he still at least gave you a kiss or made it seem like he cared. Was it all an act until she got here? Or did he care but she had clouded his mind? 
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thank you for reading!
feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.
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natailiatulls07 · 1 year ago
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The golden trio Pt 2
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Lando Norris x female!reader
Carlos Sainz x female!reader
Max Verstappen & Female!reader & Charles Leclerc
Summary - Being bestfriends with two famous formula one drivers is never easy, but what will happen when you get involved with yet another formula one driver??
Warning - offensive names hate comments swearing
The golden trio
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Twitter
username Charles and Max haven’t posted anything any where since the other day when we saw Y/n walking out, she must of hurt them hard 😟
username Ikr, I feel so bad for them right now 😞
username And Lando posting a instagram story of her at a party 🙄 We knew she never liked them
f1gossip
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Spotted: Y/n L/n was seen hanging out with Lando Norris and the quadrant group the night after she was seen leaving her shared apartment seemingly annoyed. She’s probably moving onto the Lando and the quadrant now that her lestappen trust fund has ended
Liked username and 2,193 others
username This bitch really is the ultimate gold digger
username I don’t get how some people like her, she’s a walking red flag 🚩
y/nismywife07 Have you ever considered that you don’t know her story or what goes on behind the scenes?! 😑
username Max and Charles will be much better without her stg
username I’m sick of her shit like omg go away hoe
Text (Red: Charles) (Orange: Lando)
Hey mate, I just want to check in on Y/n. She hasn’t really been texting me or Max, we understand why. We just want to make sure she okay
Yeah, she’s alright. I had to force her off social media after she saw that one gossip instagram account
I know, Max showed them to me and we’re both very annoyed how they portrayed her even though they don’t know what happened really
Can I ask a question?
Of course, go on
Why? Why did you say those things to her and make her believe those things they say about her?
Me and Max were upset that she was felt ashamed to be in the paddock, I guess we just switched off and we just said those things
Okay, I won’t say that she’ll be back with you guys soon that’s not my place to say
I understand, just look after her for us
Will do
charles_leclerc
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Me, Max and Y/n have been friends for years now. She was this shy girl whose father was working at karting, that’s how we met her. Y/n has never asked us for money, so I don’t understand how you can comment those things about her.
Y/n is the sweetest girl ever, like that one time me and Danny FaceTimed her and she showed us her new stuffy.
So please, listen to what we say for once and stop hating her, she never deserved it or never will deserve it.
Liked by arthur_leclerc and 69,283 others
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maxverstappen1
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This is the girl who brightens mine and Charles’ day, always have since our younger days. However those fake and disgusting comments have ruined that, they have taken that sunshine from us. So please quit it, you don’t know what goes on and that means you don’t have the right to have an opinion.
She is a girl who doesn’t like dentists, loves rainy days and cries at those animal charity videos. And we love her for that.
Y/n has never ever been a gold digger, never slept with either of us or asked for anything off us.
Liked by danielricciardo and 72,274 others
Comments are disabled
Twitter
username Anyone else see Max and Charles’ instagram posts
username Yeah, maybe we were wrong about her
username See this is karma, you guys were hating on this poor girl when she didn’t deserve any of it
~~ Liked by Max33Verstappen and Charles_Leclerc
landonorris posted to his story
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Tag list: @eviethetheatrefreak @janeholt3 @raizelchrysanderoctavius
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yournightmary · 4 months ago
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hi!! i’m so sorry your inbox reset that’s so annoying, mine did too 😭 i sent in a request of toxic ellie changing for reader because i’m a sucker for happy endings, whether it’s hcs or a drabble is up to you :)
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content warning:: fem!reader, modern!AU, mentions of being drunk
AN:: I’ve been feeling awful the past couple of days but I feel bad about not posting:/
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⇢ ˗ˏˋ You’d probably be on and off for some time before you actually broke up with her. And I don’t mean your usual break up- I’m talking full on screaming match, things getting thrown around and broken, followed by blocking each other on every single social media platform you can think about
⇢ ˗ˏˋ She definitely told people that ‘we’re just taking a break’ but come on, she knows the truth and is just too much of a pussy to come to terms with it.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Makes a fake account just to watch your insta stories and get angry when she sees you with some other girl. Or guy, but that would probably hurt her more than piss her off.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Acts like she doesn’t want to hear about you from your mutual friends but then pesters Dina with questions (probably when she’s drunk)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Honestly I think she’d be a bit of a stalker, sorry not sorry. It’s not even on purpose- she’s just conveniently always at the same places you are.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ She’d go mia on you for a few weeks but then text you as if nothing happened??? and you’d just ghost her even though your fingers were itching to reply.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ You’d unblock her insta just to take a peek but then forgot to block her back. She definitely took it as a sing.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Omg she’d definitely send you memes and tik toks out of habit and then delete the messages immediately after.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ After some time she’d realize how badly she fucked up and try to change herself.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Turns out she just had to loose you to realize how much she needs and loves you.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ But she would be too much of a pussy to talk to you about it, begged asked Dina to question you about her.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Little did she know that you were doing the same thing. Honestly, poor Dina.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ She ended up inviting you both to a little get together, but forgot to tell either of you that the other one will be there.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ The second she noticed you she was ready to turn around and go back home, Jesse somehow convinced her not to.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Spent the whole evening eyeing you from across the room and looking away awkwardly every time you noticed her staring.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ After most of the people left you two would end up a little drunk, talking about life in the kitchen. She doesn’t even know how that happened, neither do you.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ I don’t think she’d go on her knees apologizing- she’d probably try to hint at the fact that she’s a changed woman, maybe sprinkle something about how happy she was when you were dating, but that’s it.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Almost cried when she got a text from you about meeting up alone. Answered you literally the same minute you texted.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ You guys talked things out and agreed to not go back to being a couple immediately. She wanted you to get to know the new Ellie and then decide if you want to date.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ It’s not that she fell out of love with you, she never would, but god she felt like a teenager getting her first crush again.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ You’d be so surprised at how much she’s changed, in a good way. Like I said, a new woman.
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I am so bad at comfort wtf ☠️
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yizhou-time · 5 months ago
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A RANT ON MINORS AND NSFW POSTS
This is a quick one but I feel like it needs to be said because it’s getting out of hand for not just writers but also minors. As much as we don’t want minors reading NSFW content it’s basically impossible for a number of reasons:
1) The ATEEZ writing community is full of it. Whether people write it because it performs well or they enjoy it, it’s everywhere. It’s becoming rare to see SFW posts in the main two tags (ateez x reader, ateez imagines) and when people are trying to look for something to read and that’s all there is they’re going to read it. It’s basically become downright porn plastered everywhere, what else are they going to read?
2) It’s not being tagged as NSFW or MINORS DONT INTERACT. For whatever reason people aren’t tagging it and it’s just really weird. Even as an adult I don’t want to read NSFW stuff and yet when it’s untagged I come across it (the whole reason I decided to write this is because I was reading a fic this morning that jumps into smut without warning). You can say people choose what they read and if they ignore the tags it's on them but when it's not being tagged as such it's not like people have a choice. I’m an adult and I know when to stop, some minors will just keep reading.
3) a) People are tagging it wrong. Calling smut suggestive when they’re having actual sex is crazy. Some people have been tagging it as a SMAU which means social media au, kids will read that thinking they’re going to see some fake twitter or fake messages and they’re met with smut instead.
3) b) People are using other tags (ateez angst, ateez fluff) for smut. Regardless of if there’s plot keep smut out of those tags so they can be used correctly.
4) Some authors don’t block faceless/blank/ageless blogs (even when they say they have a rule for it). On any site (including YouTube when it comes to age restricted content) age can be verified with a press of a button before the viewer can start watching or you can simply change the year you were born in, but it then argues that they can read what they want here regardless of how it makes an author feel because they can do it online. They can talk to an author in DM and through their Inbox, they can’t talk to a pornstar so they’ll never know or have that lurking feeling. Block people that you aren’t sure of, even if they’re a big account or your post is doing well, it’s not worth it when there’s kids reading it.
5) Some authors don’t display their own age. This is a short one but I know so many NSFW authors who aren’t displaying their age and yet other writers still interact with them, going against their own ageless/faceless blog rule, for what I don’t know. That could be a 14 year old or a 40 year old and we don’t even know who’s in their Inbox.
6) There’s no one controlling what content the minor is reading. Although we can’t do anything about that that doesn’t mean we can’t do what we can, they may read it anyway, but if you look at the contributing factors there is something we as a community can do.
I'm well aware this post is giving them the benefit of the doubt but can you blame a kid for acting like one? As much as we get mad at them for reading NSFW posts for whatever reasons at the end of the day we have to be doing something about it too. Both parties should take responsibility and try to combat it.
This is in no way a targeted post so if you choose to ignore it and feel that you’re not part of the problem or you’re just not interested, that’s fine I won't be offended but I strongly urge to think about if you relate to even just one of the point and then do something about it.
I'm well aware that this is a sensitive topic that doesn't get spoken about because it just isn't or when it is spoken about it gets shut down by people who accidently read it the wrong way. This post isn't to hurt or upset people or accuse anyone of anything bad, just pointing out some things we could all collectively do better. If you do believe this post has hurt you or I’ve said anything that has come across offensive to you please message me about it so I can know what I did wrong!
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9w1ft · 7 months ago
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i need help. i’m so slow at unpacking the songs & their lyrics but you guys seem so confident that Kaylor lives. mind sharing lyrics or interpretations that you make you feel confident?
i think i speak for a lot of kaylors when i say we weren’t going into this album thinking we were all in some make or break situation, where the songs would be what decides whether or not kaylor lives. and we haven’t come out of it feeling different! so for starters, the very process of processing the songs is a bit different, i think, than the process suggested in your question.
this post got kinda long so i’m going to put it under the cut! and just a tl;dr that i am just talking about this aforementioned process. i’ve started writing out interpretations for the songs that have caught my kaylor attention but it’s taking time, so i thought id go ahead and post the other aspect of my answer in the meantime
a big part of kaylor interpretation is taking a look at what taylor and karlie were doing over the period of time that an album was written and the lead up to album rollout, and seeing if it looks like karlie knew in advance about what would be on the album, or how it would be promoted. the fundamental idea is that if taylor and karlie truly hated each other like everyone insists, that they wouldn’t go out of their way to drop hints or allow one another to drop hints.
so for example, karlie started wearing this pair of sunglasses with the product name “poet” before the name of the album (the tortured poets department) was ever known. she walked in two schiaparelli runway shows (the significance being that these days its rare for her to walk a show, and she’s never walked for schiaparelli before although she’s been to their shows in years of late), one of these schiaparelli shows was specifically alien themed, which lines up with the theming of Down Bad, and then next taylor announced the tortured poets department at the grammys wearing custom schiaparelli (i don’t think taylor’s ever worn the house before). so like, these sorts of things don’t make sense until later but they are signs we look to as a backdrop when going into an album. they are a sort of most recent indicator of the state of the union.
historically (especially post 2019 when what i call the scorched earth narrative was disseminated) people looking to disprove kaylor tend to brush off this stuff (twinning, similar theming or messaging in social media, etc) as oh it’s coincidental, but even if it’s not, any kaylor things that happen now are just because taylor is grieving and desperate for karlie and/or karlie wants notoriety because she wants… more money. but as i’ve said and as many have said for the past 5 years, it makes no sense and is such a misread of drivers for karlie and taylor. i beg people to try and put themselves in karlie’s shoes and ask themselves, would you endure all the hate for… more… money?? would you fly across the country and go to taylor’s concert two weeks post-partum, in a state of physical disrepair just to… spite her?? and have millions of people send hate at you for it..?
anyway, i know this is different than lyric analysis but it’s an integral part of kaylor analysis so i wanted to highlight it. i’d also point out that a whole bunch of people are currently analyzing her entire back catalog re: matty context clues in the same ways so 🤷🏻‍♀️ i think it’s a natural tendency for a lot of people— with kaylor though it’s outlawed.
and i want to reiterate that i think observing the time surrounding the album is a particularly worthwhile thing to do because it takes into account a more recent period of time than that of which the songs represent. i think people can get tunnel vision analyzing an album or individual songs and lose sight of the fact that we are here now after the album has been written. the lyrics are not the most recent thing!
another point i feel that needs mentioning is that with kaylor, among kaylors, we are looking at recent albums more for signs of taylor weaving a story of them that leads to them getting back together publicly. the idea that we are probably not going to get some big reveal that oh everything prior was fake! we have always been together! but rather some separate telling of events that preserves the integrity of people involved to some extent. so there are likely several layers going on when looking at songs. a mix of truth and augmented truths. songs can be useful towards meeting an end goal without telling the entire truth, while the fact that they are useful is still an indicator of the meta truth. i know this sounds a little convoluted... but thats alright im not invested in proving it to people 🙈 (nor do i think it should be provable!!)
lastly, while i am still compiling all my kaylor observations from each song, i did want to point out the obvious: that my understanding of the album (and i assume this is true for more kaylors as well) is colored by the inclusion of the song Robin. …i guess i will mince my words a little bit because i consider it a sensitive subject but basically, it’s a song about something that we would expect taylor would be singing about if they’re together in the way we understand it to be, given what we have been shown. and some of the lyrics are so specific to this… far flung idea… and such a contemporary development… that it sort of works to recontextualize any of the songs on ttpd that would otherwise feel breakuppy? because it pushes the story so far forward in matching our understanding. the hardest songs are easier to see as emblematic of the past, and the path that led us here to the present. in this way, at least for me, it makes it easier to appreciate the kaylor easter eggs going on in the songs as emblematic of kaylor, as opposed to litigating them and filing them one by one, because i truly believe taylor would not release Robin if kaylor was actually over. same goes for recurring motifs throughout the album (and midnights, and you might also include folkevermore as well) related to what robin is about. might sound weird to say but you could almost make a drinking game out of the motif, honestly, given how often she does it throughout the album.
i know the whole thing is wild. i have accepted this and im not out here to push it on people 😌 though i do leave the porch light on for people passing by. because for years now, with each new album people continue to say oh this is the kaylor breakup album, oh she’s finally over it, and then i guess they get amnesia by the time the next album comes along and kaylor themes yet again persist. and idk, to me, kaylor just being together this whole time is actually one of the least complicated outcomes.
anyways, in conclusion, apologies for not providing a song by song analysis right away 🙏 but i wanted to put out this part in the meantime. i don’t expect everyone to agree with this premise but i think it’s key to understanding how a lot of us approach this album. i hope it provides a little insight into my perspective! 🫶
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cursedvida · 4 months ago
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Honestly. Every two or three days someone publishes a post saying "oh why do you like nomae? If mae is bad, she's the villain, blah blah blah" that makes me wonder if these people have a life beyond wasting their time hating.
If you don't like something, can't you just block it? Or can't you just focus on promoting what you like?
Oh my god, do something productive with your lives.
It's good to see that lately even those who don't ship nomae are against these people.
There are many points we can discuss about this.
For example, we can talk about how absurd and pointless it is to throw hate at a ship. I mean, what do people gain from it? Making others feel bad? Do they really get satisfaction from shaming and trying to make people feel guilty for just trying to escape reality for a while by shipping and fangirling over things they like in a healthy and purely playful way? Do they seriously find any pleasure in it? Does it give them dopamine or something? Because if they really need to crush people to feel better about themselves, what I would recommend is to leave the internet and start therapy because these are indeed very sadistic and sociopathic behaviors.
Putting aside the melodramatic and catastrophic moment, we can also talk about how sad it is to waste time hating something instead of doing something productive like, for example, creating content. They complain that the KotPotA tags are infested with things about Nomae, but do they contribute anything beyond the hate? Do they write dissertations, present theories, upload gifsets or fanarts? No, of course not, they just throw crap. I mean, if it bothers you so much that when you enter the tag 90% of the content is not to your liking, then I invite you to fill the tag with things you do like. You are free to do so. But I guess it’s much easier to just complain instead of making an effort to contribute.
This brings me to another point that I find very ironic. Yes, everything is full of Nomae, but that is precisely what keeps the fandom alive. Every day someone uploads some fanart, some video, some comment or fanfic. Every day there is someone talking in this tag about the topic that, whether many like it or not, means talking about the movies. Let’s be honest, those of us who keep fandoms alive (and I speak in general) are the shippers, especially when they are fandoms of franchises whose content are movies that take years to come out. If it weren’t for people fangirling all the time, there would be no content on social media. I’m sorry if you don’t like that content, but once again I invite you to use your freedom of expression to create rather than try to destroy people’s self-esteem.
But well, as you say, at least there are people with common sense and enough mental maturity to understand that if you don’t like something, the best thing to do is ignore it and that’s it, as well as understanding that shaming people on social media is very much a thing of 15 years ago and today it’s just pathetic.
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zee-rambles · 1 year ago
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With the official confirmation from Paramount that there IS going to be an official TV series based on Mutant Mayhem, Tales of the TMNT, that will bridge the gap between MM and it’s sequel(two seasons long), what’re your thoughts? Do you think this’ll hamper any hope for a potential third season of Rise, or do you feel that people shouldn’t be harsh on it and appreciate it for being it’s own thing(I’m very much the latter lol)?
LONG post is LONG, but I really wanted to drive home the importance of this.
I don’t really have an opinion on the Mutant Mayhem show, TBH. I knew it was coming, because Nickelodeon is banking on MM to be a big hit, and it’s not that weird for them to try and squeeze as much money as they can from a new IP. The fact that this new series is going straight to paramount plus and not on Nickelodeon’s main channel is…confusing (Unless it’s actually going to Nickelodeon, in which case, so what? If Nickelodeon can have THREE different versions of SpongeBob airing on their channel, then I don’t see what excuse they can make for not having two versions of the TMNT out simultaneously. They’ve done it before too. 2012 and the Bay films were happening at the same time).
As for Rise, I don’t think hating on Mutant Mayhem or on its related shows is going to do much good. If anything, it’s going to create a divide between incoming fans of Mutant Mayhem, older Rise fans, and Rise fans that are looking forward to more TMNT content. If the show does air on Nickelodeon, it’s not like the kids watching it are going to know the discourse surrounding Rise. Review bombing, hating, and leaving bad faith reviews on anything Mutant Mayhem related isn’t going to bring Rise back. And it’s going to give Rise fans a bad rep, which will end up hurting Rise more, because no one would want to give a show a chance if its fan base is seen as toxic.
Trust me, no one wants Rise of the TMNT to come back more then I do, but I’m not going to go around discouraging or hating on on anyone that is excited for Mutant Mayhem. It’s one thing if you watch and don’t enjoy it, or choose not to support it, I’m not here to force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do, and it’s normal for people not to like something sometimes. If it isn’t for you, it isn’t for you. That happens. But hating it with a passion and posting that everywhere does nothing helpful for Rise.
The best thing would be if new TMNT fans and Rise fans came together to save the show. If more people knew about Rise, the movie, and if enough content keeps the fandom alive, raises interest in the show online, and keeps the show/movie from being fading away into the background, there’s a chance. The bigger the following Rise has, the more people asking for its return, the higher the chances. The more alive it is across social media, the better. What we need more then anything really, is visibility. Not enough people know about Rise. Danny Phantom still has a big following to this day, still has more people giving it a chance because the fans love it enough to keep it going. And people are seeing that. Watch Mojo released a video recently about shows that deserve to come back and Danny was on that list. Spectacular Spider-Man still gets new videos made of it all the time, and the fans STILL, even after all these years, ask for more.
We’re in an interesting position. I don’t think ANY other fandom has ever said, “Heck it! We’ll make our OWN season! Ya JERKS!” So support each other, keep asking for more Rise, keep making art, social media posts, videos, ask Cinema Wins and Cinema Therapy to review the movie, keep sharing and signing the petitions, recommend it to people, anime fans, non TMNT fans (I wasn’t a fan of TMNT until Rise), animation fans and so on. Always ask for the original producers, Ant Ward, Andy Suriano, writers, cast and crew to come back. Word of mouth is a powerful thing. The more people make an effort, the better. And don’t give up. Giving up is the one true for Rise fade away.
TLDR: No, hating on MM will NOT help Rise. BUT! Continuously making efforts to bring back Rise, support each other, raise awareness/visibility, will.
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philaet0s · 4 months ago
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Celebrity/Social Media AU - Part 32
Previous Part: Part 31
Next Part: Part 33
The full AU is now posted on my ao3!
Simon
Making my way backstage during the concert is definitely the worst part of my day. I nearly get lost, even though I’ve done walked the opposite way only about two hours ago and someone who works here gave me clear and detailed instructions. When I arrive in Baz’s dressing room, Keris, who is in charge of all of Baz’s and his musician’s stage outfits, immediately points at a pair of slacks and a crisp white shirt. “Put them on, quick.”
I would not dare risk disobeying her. She looks stressed. Everyone who works with Baz on his tour looks stressed.
The clothes fit me perfectly, and yet, I’ve never tried them on before, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Baz had my clothing sizes memorised, so.
“You should have makeup on if you’re going on stage,” Keris comments, as she rolls up my sleeves artfully.
“Nah, there’s no time for that,” I say. I purposely left the show very late so there would be no time for makeup. I don’t want any of that stuff on my face, it’s itchy. “I should go now, he’s going to finish the song soon.”
“You’re right. Just one last thing… Turn around please.”
When I do, she tucks in my shirt more than I had, then untucks it a little. “Perfect. Go.”
…And I now have to do more walking around.
Thankfully, the distance is not so big this time, and there are people to guide me. They all look even more stressed than Keris. I don’t think the people who work with him are very happy with Baz’s latest idea… I feel bad for them, but I, for one, am too excited about his idea to be fully compassionate.
I’m right behind the stage now, and Baz has finished his songs. Normally, he moves on straight to the next one, but tonight, Agatha, Niamh, Dev and Niall all stop playing.
“Hey, so…” His voice quickly get drowned out by people cheering. I peek to watch the audience. He waits for them to have gotten a little less loud to continue. “So… London… We know each other very well, you and I… I live in this city. I’ve lived in this city for a long time, but for a few years, I’ve lived in this city with someone very special… Someone who is here, tonight.”
Though none of their faces are clear from this far away, I can tell people in the public turn towards the VIP area, where I was sitting a few minutes ago. Of course, some of them already knew I was here. I even had a few people come and talk to me, like I was the celebrity, it was odd but not totally unpleasant.
While they were busy trying to find me, someone brought the chair that, in a matter of two shows, has become very famous in his fandom. It’s now placed behind him.
“No… Not over there… He’s here tonight,” Baz says, with emphasis. I can hear the smile in his voice a few seconds before I see it as he turns to me, extending a hand.
The crowd goes wild. Loud cheering and clapping accompany my entrance.
Once I’m close enough, I take Baz’s hand. Mine is sweaty. It is intimidating standing in front of tens of thousands of people. I don’t know how Baz does it so confidently.
He mouths ‘Hi, love,’ as he squeezes my hand before holding his mic up to his lips again. “My partner, my muse… My Simon. Everyone, say hello to Simon,” he says, pointing the microphone at the public, who scream in return. “Good. See, it’s not so hard being well-behaved?”
More cheering. They love it when he’s flirty with them. (I could not blame them).
“Simon is going to help me with tonight’s performance, if you don’t mind.” With how loud they are, I doubt they mind. “I thought that I could do something special for the last shows of this incredible tour, the shows in this city that is so dear to me. I hope you’ll like my surprise, London!”
And with that, he pushes me down on the chair, hard enough to look good for the audience, but not so hard that the chair –or I– will fall.
At the same time, the band starts playing the first notes of Hands Down. A song from the first album he wrote about me. The dirtiest song on the first album he wrote about me.
He puts the mic back on the stand, switching to his headset microphone.
Sit back and enjoy. Touch me if you feel like it. That’s all the instructions he gave me when he exposed his idea to me. Which is really no instructions at all. And he didn’t tell me what he was going to do in any specific way, so I’m discovering his ‘surprise’ for London with the same excitement as the audience.
At first, it’s rather tame. He walks around the chair, singing the first verse of the song. The tips of his fingers are dragging along my collarbones, the top of my arms, my shoulder blades. Teasingly.
I’m focusing on the lyrics as much as on what he’s doing, and it makes me realise that that is what he does in the song too, in the first verse. It’s all teasing. He’s using that sexy, sultry voice, he sings a little slowly, drags the ends of some of his words, none of which are overtly sexual yet.
Then, as his lyrics become more explicit, so does his performance.
He’s behind me, and he drags his hands down my chest, until his fingers reach the waistband of my trousers. He lowers his head to, angling it as if he was whispering in my ear. His hands are slower on their way back up. They play with the top button of my shirt, to eventually undo it. And the one underneath it too. He places his lips close to my neck, to mime kissing it. I shiver all the same as I feel his breath on my skin.
He straightens up. He walks around the chair again until he’s in front of me. Almost mechanically, my legs open wider, something that I may feel ashamed about later. Not now, though. Absolutely not now. Because now he’s in front of me, singing those scandalous lyrics, looking better than he ever has. Because now he’s brought me in front of the crowd of his sold-out Wembley Stadium concert to show me off.
Because now he’s going down on his knees, in the space I just freed.
Jesus fucking Christ.
It’s the first time since his performance began that I notice the audience. The sounds they just made could probably be heard on the other side of the city. His hands are back on me, on my knees and then up my thighs. If he was actually going to… his lips would be following. He loves kissing my thighs. It’s his favourite spot for hickeys.
Instead, because having his face between my thighs might be too sexual even for him –or perhaps because he wants to spare me the embarrassment of getting hard on stage– he keeps his head right where it is, and looks up at me, with an intensity in his eyes that makes me feel hot all over.
For the final part of his song, he stands back up, only long enough to sit on my lap. To straddle one of my legs, more accurately. They’re too far apart for him to fit on both at the same time.
His own leg is practically pressed to my crotch, simply because it’s too damn long for it to fit in any other way, which is not helping lower my body temperature.
He’s rolling his hips now, like he does when he’s riding me. Same pace, too. One of his hands is toying with a button of my shirt he hasn’t undone and the other is on my shoulder, for balance.
He leans in, as if he was kissing me, but he doesn’t, of course he doesn’t, he’s singing, but my body reacts all the same. One of my hands holds the dip of his back, to keep him close, and the other flies up to his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. He smiles, and it changes the way he sings. I think I could die, right here and now. I know we’re in front of a whole stadium of people, but that moment feels so intimate, so beautiful.
Already, much too soon, he gets to the end of song. I don’t want it to be over yet. God, couldn’t he write a 20-minute song?
The last lyrics are sung close to my face, his breath brushing my lips.
And when he finishes, he kisses me. Actually kisses me.
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copperbadge · 1 year ago
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Well, Still Salty.
I was cranky yesterday and I thought a good night's sleep would provide some adjustment in perspective, but unfortunately "spending yesterday not on tumblr" also offered perspective and got there first.
Up front: feel free to comment or reblog on this post (replies may be heavily delayed) but if you feel the urge to Like, I'm going to ask you to take one more step and go to https://www.tumblr.com/support, select "feedback" as the category, and enter a line or two about the new dash. It can be as simple as "Your new dash design is difficult to use and is driving people off the site". I'm not asking everyone to do it, but if you're going to Like this post, that would be a helpful action in addition. You can delete any response they send; no reason to expose yourself to the unique combination of incompetence and condescension with which they handle feedback generally.
Also up front: yeah, if I find somewhere else to go and go there, I will certainly let you guys know beforehand, I'm not going to just evaporate. I'll be broadcasting about Tumblr's replacement on Tumblr very heavily. But I can't deny that it is now an active goal of mine to find a viable replacement for this site. (More on this in a moment.) You will always be able to find me on AO3 as copperbadge, or via [email protected]. (More on this in a moment also.)
This kind of thing is why I refuse to fuck with staff now or ever; I don't trust them and I never will. Watching @wip respond to almost every complaint or suggestion with "but that would be really hard" is telling. Whoever is pushing blocks around at Tumblr wants a lucrative site that's easy to code, but lucrative is hostile to community and code is difficult by nature, and when the architecture of the meeting hall is hostile and cheap, people don't stick around.
I've been watching the site as every change made it incrementally worse, from a buggy post window that doesn't allow ease of editing to the new dash (which is the reason I'm writing this in a text window off Tumblr). I genuinely do not think I can use desktop Tumblr like this unless I can install something that will put it back the way it was, and roughly 40% of the content you guys get HAS to come through desktop. It's impossible to do on a phone or so time-consuming it's not worth it. I cannot code Radio Free Monday on a phone; it's a struggle to code it on a single-monitor laptop (I usually write it on my work computer, where I have two monitors). Even writing image IDs on the phone is difficult and something I rarely do. Tumblr is becoming an actively difficult place for me to make content, introducing friction left and right.
But where does one go? I've tried other platforms and they're either worse to use or they don't have the constituency. The problem with a lot of discourse around internet addiction is that it often points out how glued people are to their phones without asking what it is they're doing on those phones. I'm not addicted to social media; I don't doomscroll, I don't care what celebrities have to say, I don't find 140 characters useful or interesting, I don’t find most “funny” videos very interesting. I create a lot of original content for public consumption, significantly more than many social media users, and if that becomes difficult, then the site suffers more than I do. But it's undeniable that social media, and this social media in specific, is where my people are, and yeah, I like seeing you all every day. It makes it difficult to leave even when Tumblr is the best of a bad set of options.
It seems like a lot of the internet, lately, is the best of a bad set of options.
All that said, Tumblr forced a sudden, unwanted, and unchangeable reskin on me a day after I listened to a two-hour podcast about addiction while working on building a newsletter system for my author site. I spent the evening before this happened in contemplation of my relationship to social media and to my readership and how I might alter it to my benefit regardless of whether that's also to Tumblr's detriment. Their poor timing, I suppose. A lot of the theories advanced on the podcast were, to put it kindly, bunk, but one of the suggestions for people questioning their relationship to an activity was a dopamine fast -- removing something in your life that gives you quick but unsustained dopamine hits, so that you can take some time to level out and examine your behaviors. On the one hand, that's not at all how dopamine works; from the jump it's a bad theory. But on the other, pulling back from something you think may be causing you difficulty is generally speaking a good tactic.
Removing myself from Tumblr yesterday was an active process: because I have ADHD and often will forget something exists if I don't systematize my engagement with it, Tumblr is normally pinned to my browser, with the app on my phone's top screen. Removing the app and closing the window meant that while I occasionally reached for Tumblr, it was less frequently than I expected, and the lack of access reminded me why I wasn't there. I missed you guys, but I didn't miss getting distracted from work by my dash, or the pressure to respond to the volume of communication I receive through the site daily. I don't think my use of tumblr as my sole social media has been unhealthy, per se, but certainly yesterday felt both quieter and calmer after I walked away.
But that's a temporary relief, because you are my community, and not only do I not want to leave my community, it's a resource for me. One of the reasons I do things like Radio Free Monday and the weekly Hug on Saturdays is that I try to make sure that resource is reciprocal. Leadership involves service. Leaving would be easy in the short term, but in the long term, leaving my community without having another place to meet it, or another community to go to, would be harmful to both of us. I'm already someone who isolates, and while I have a strong brickspace circle of friends, they fulfill sometimes different needs.
Though I do appreciate the wild vote of confidence from the comments to my last post telling me people would come with me where I went. That means a lot to me. I will attempt to make it either unnecessary or as painless as possible. Just know, I see your faith and friendship and I appreciate it.
Sometimes at my old job I'd be in very tumultuous meetings where a lot was discussed and not much agreed on, and the most useful thing to me was always to say, "What are our next steps? What would you like me to do because of this meeting?" So what are next steps, all this being the case?
First, I'm going to be off Tumblr, mostly, for another couple of days, because clearly I need the break and a few days won't matter too much. Again, I will be back either to continue on the site or to let you guys know, at length and volume, where I'm headed. The former is much more likely.
Second, I'm going to be actively looking for both a widget I can install to reset the dash (recommendations welcome, I currently don't even use xkit) and a wholly new platform that's a realistically viable alternative. Even if the dash gets reset, the shitty post editor is here for good. Attempts to source alternative platforms in the past have taught me that it needs to have a mobile-friendly site or an app, a similar structure to tumblr, and a reasonable chance of actually attracting users. That's a heavy venn diagram unlikely to be fulfilled anytime soon, but I'm now invested in finding it, instead of just passively waiting for it to happen to me (as Tumblr did when it pulled me off LJ).
Third, I do have an email newsletter in the works! I'm just wrestling currently with setting up how people sign up for it. This wasn't meant to be "my main broadcast platform"; it's meant to be a once-monthly email to share book news, targeted at people who aren't on socials or who just really love content from me, I guess. :D The plan was for me to assure Tumblr users that it was not extra content, just select content repackaged into a digest. But it will be one way to ensure that if I'm moving around outside of Tumblr, you'll know about it. I hope to have a link to a signup page soon. (I'm....dealing with some code issues.)
Fourth, I'm going to be combing through the last ten years I've spent here and pulling anything I think is of value into an archive. For now everything will remain here as well, and I'll let you guys know if I think that's going to change, but it's clear that this space is moving only one direction, towards a place I can't exist, and when/if it crumbles I want to have already evacuated what's important.
So there you go. I'll possibly be posting sporadically (the Saturday Hugs are queued six months in advance so that'll happen) but if nothing else and if not sooner, I'll be back full-time next week starting with Radio Free Monday. I appreciate your patience and your kindness in the meantime!
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nnnyxie · 1 year ago
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Feeling a lil down about myself, what would you think about Izu x chubby reader? Reader isn’t necessarily insecure but does have bad days, maybe some of Izu‘s fans were being extremely horrible to reader or something because of their weight (I live for protective!Izu) and reader just shuts themselves off and is rotting away in a pile of blankets in their apartment while Izu dosen’t get what’s going on at all- he adores reader and isn’t all like „oh but your boobs and ass and thighs“ he just adored READER you know??? Often when I read x chubby!reader they only mention their curves and thighs and what not but I don’t think reducing plus size people to curvy plus size people is very inclusive so idk if that makes sense but yeah kwnfksld
#𖢥 izuku anon
baby i am loving these requests and i’m happy to give you chubby rep!!
i sorta based it on how i get when i’m insecure about myself so i’m sorry if it isn’t what you were hoping for :(
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some days it’s just hard yk?? people get mean and it can really fuck with your brain. it makes it hard to look at yourself sometimes.
especially when you’re with a pro hero. people think that you ‘don’t belong together’ just cause you two have different body types. and it’s sickening how people think that way.
it makes you feel awful— all of the hateful comments you get under your posts gets overwhelming and sometimes you have to archive them all together. sometimes you even have to deactivate your account because they get so overwhelming.
izuku always wonders why you do that— you never give him a real reason. just a ‘i don’t feel like being on social media right now’. he knows it’s not the truth but, he doesn’t want to pry. he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by hounding you for answers.
but tonight— tonight was awful. the first thing you saw while opening instagram was a picture of you and your lovely boyfriend, something a fan posted. the fan was nice!! their post was a cute edit and it was an appreciation post!! but the comments— the comments were sickening. they were filled with so much hate, it made you physically ill. and today you weren’t ‘feeling’ yourself so the comments didn’t exactly help.
you deactivated your account again. now you were thinking about just deleting it all together. it won’t stop the hate but it’ll stop you from seeing it. either way— you decided to try and push those awful comments away and read, maybe it could lighten your mood.
it didn’t. the thoughts kept coming back— you couldn’t even read a full paragraph. it felt awful. you felt awful. maybe a shower would help?
as soon as you stepped foot in the bathroom, you stepped right back out. it hurt to look at yourself. it made you cry. you weren’t particularly insecure but these comments were ruthless and they just really got to you this time.
when izuku got back home from patrol, he found you in your shared bed, you were curled up in a pile of blankets with nearly all the pillows surrounding you. he heard your crying— and was immediately concerned. why wouldn’t he be?
“love, what’s the matter? did you watch the neverending story again?” he sat beside you and pulled the blankets down so he could full see your face. this wasn’t your ‘sad movie’ cry. this was entirely different.
“hey, what’s going on?” “it’s nothing— i uhm just read something sad is all.” you were a very poor liar.
“be honest with me, please? is something going on?” he was now laying beside you, holding you from behind. “i just— do you really want to be with me? i’m not—” you choked, crying more at the thought of him leaving for someone ‘better’ (there is no one better). “of course i do. i love you. why wouldn’t i want to be with you?” “how aren’t you… how aren’t you disgusted by me?” “why would you ever think i’d feel that way towards you? i love all of you. and everyday i find more to love about you.”
then— it clicked. he remembered.
“is this about that post? bakugo sent it to me… he told me to look at the comments— baby if i knew this was happening sooner i would’ve done something about it. why didn’t you tell me?” he rubbed your arm in comfort, he knew all about being insecure— of course he couldn’t relate to where yours stemmed from but, he knew how awful it felt to feel like you aren’t enough for people. “i didn’t want you to be mad at them. they’re your supporters.” “they aren’t my supporters if they’re treating you this way.” he took a breath, he was upset. not by you— never. but, by the hateful people. “i love you, and every part of you. i’ll never be disgusted by you and i’ll never want anyone else. i only want you.” god you loved him.
“can you turn so i can see that pretty face?” you turned to face him. izuku had a smile but, his eyes welled when he saw the tear streaks that ran down your cheeks. he cupped your face, swiping his thumps to wipe away the stray tears that still fell. “you’re the most beautiful person i have ever met.” you cried again, not because you were upset— but, because, he was just so wonderful to you. izuku held you, letting you cry into him.
“i’ll address it.” “you don’t need to.” “i’m going to.”
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don’t mind the neverending story part…. i just rewatched it today and cried abt the horse scene… artax :(
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