#i identify as the nervous system/j (kind of true because i am a person RIDDLED with anxieties) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

miesozernacma · 1 month ago

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it is 10pm and i feel like the way i developed as a human wasn't the most optimal. and i want a start over button to appear over my head

so i can learn how to properly study

to take care of myself, by myself

to find a plan for actually learning things instead of just understanding them enough to have passing grades and a surface level understanding that doesn't lead me down any specific path in my life

to have a moment just to understand what im really about.

who i am

#i guess i can admit I'm internally struggling a little bit lately #i feel completely distanced from my human identity #much less a gender identity #i am just a being with eyes and a mind to myself in my head #i identify as the nervous system/j (kind of true because i am a person RIDDLED with anxieties)#now i also feel very distant from my identity as an artist. a creator #despite the fact i draw and draw every day #and i haven't really stopped drawing ever #theres always a day i draw Something. anything #i just dont feel like im...REALLY drawing or CREATING yknow #its just the same creatures over and over. standing around looking pretty and personified idk #i do feel stuck in place like theres really nowhere im going with the things im drawing #i havent touched ibis paint in like a week #i feel adamant to set up my teeny plugin drawing tablet and laptop #i feel adamant to creating.#think ill blame this on no sleep and too much stressful school #with the focken assignments and approaching finals (in a year and a half lol?) and whatnot #i am just. tired. and i need rest #and i will NOT do a single school related thing starting tuesday #cw rant #cw vent #vent #miesozernacma

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