#i am exhausting
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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#i wrote him this letter right#it’s like five pages#just outlining everything i’ve learned#but in all honesty i don’t know if he cares#it’s really hard because i can’t just ask#i can’t text him because he wouldn’t want that#and it wouldn’t be productive#and i just feel like now knowing everything i know like dude we just didn’t KNOW what to work on#but he doesn’t want that#and now i just have to sit here in all my knowledge and sadness and try to not think about him#but it’s all i can think about#i am so deeply miserable#this is a misery i haven’t felt before#i feel so fucking alone#i was already so deeply depressed before this and now it just feels like there’s no point#i am unlovable#i am not worth it#i am exhausting#i am so fucking ugly man he wouldn’t even touch me#i am disgusting#and unworthy of love#and i am trying real hard to just keep my head above water and not k word myself#but it’s not even just about a man it’s about me as a person man i feel like the worst person alive#i am just a shell of a person#i’ve been thinking abt going to the hospital again but my family is gonna think it’s just bc of a man#like no i’ve thought abt this for months but now it’s like. idk i feel like i need to.#i feel like i’m just like on my last leg and i keep getting kicked#i don’t even care about my life man#i cared about him and i care about my friends and my dog but like im not even capable of caring for those things now#i’m just empty
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Arcanegifs' Arcane Season 2 (2024) Character Poll Winner: Vi ↳ "Vi was strong because she was afraid. Her fear of losing us what made her fight so hard."
#sorry to your phones but it had to be done... also i tried gifing the scenes i havent done yet. this was so much fun!#god shes so handsome... my fave one is the one where shes in her black jacket just walking 😍 (the 19th gif)#arcane#arcaneedit#vi#vi arcane#arcane vi#league of legends arcane#league of legends#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane league of legends#media: arcane#type: gif#s2 ep1#s2 ep3#s2 ep5#s2 ep6#s2 ep7#s2 ep8#s2 ep9#ok i am EXHAUSTED this is why i almost never make 30 gif sets anymore LOL goodnight yall
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I have finally watched naruto at the tender age of 25
#naruto#naruto fanart#naruto uzumaki#sasuke uchiha#thats it am only tagging those two and maybe the ships implied bc on god three more names??? exhausting#hashimada#thats it folks come back later and see if i posted something else#posts that prove i am alive#fanart#doodles
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Dressing the blorbo up just because. 🫢
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#my art#this is what happens when I stare at photoshoots#also just having a fave and dressing em up in all sorts#it’s fun heheh#suit Emmy suit Emmy#i am so so tired#exhausted brain doodle tonight that I may regret in the morning#maybe#oh Emmy
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someone asked if i had ever drawn gojo with his scars, now i have :>
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this outfit i swear im gna get called out as a fake gojohater#its not my fault its the best one he gets#speaking of which i am enjoying the relative bliss before this fight n this outfit are animated sighs i already know its gna b mayhem#but ths neither here nor there ths none of my business#anyway this gojo took a lot longer than it should have also but i had some mishaps with th pose >:/ iykyk#i also wanted to like. toe th line with his expression between unsettling and relaxed if that makes sense??#mostly i didnt want him to look too genuine#idk how successful i was but i am Happy with it i think#or maybe its just the exhaustion talking#tbh im past exhaustion i think i spent over 14hrs drawing today i have been up since 7am and i am pretty sure my blood is energy drink#rings dinner bell gojolikers come get ur food#anon who asked i hope u enjoy! ty fr the request even if it was gojo /silly
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TAYLOR SWIFT: THE ERAS TOUR (2023)
#taylor swift#tswiftedit#tswiftgif#eras tour#taylor swift the eras tour#I'm eXHAUSTED#I dont think I ever made thIS MANY gifs in one set#I personally am proud of the choice I made on every transition gif in the middle#sorry speak now and acoustic section you're too short so I put you together in the obvious wrong order - for color arrangement purpose#forgive me :'p#userelena#userleah#btw - I made folklore teal...unintentional. who'd thought#flashing gif#flashing images#flashing tw
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slut autism is a curse because i was designed in a lab to reach pure sensory ecstasy during sex but actually having sex in these wacky modern times requires constantly responding to messages on a piece of metal that doesn’t feel real to me and i suck at it so bad so idk. if you want this pussy write me a letter
#blushing#am i the only person fucking exhausted by messaging….#i want to connect with people so bad. i wanna hear their stories. and yeah i wanna fuck nasty#but oh my god. i cannot keep doing this 😀#personal
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I told you I never stop thinking about merpearl
#I want there to be more yuri kiss art. There isnt enough. I guess I have to be the change I want. whaagh#I think Pearl is too awkward and clueless and horrified (because DL) to actually just kiss Gem like this (at least for awhile) but#mermaid pearl is built different. Still clueless though#I am so exhausted and I have much more important things to draw but Im sorry I had yuri in my system and I needed to get it out desperately#gempearl#shiny duo#hermitshipping#tubby art
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Welcome back to another episode of "I spent 10 hours making a fan comic instead of updating my OC refs"
#i am exhausted dear gOD I spent so long on this#anyways percy and ramsey hehehehehe#my favorite two goobers#epithet erased#epithet erased fanart#percy king#percival king#ramsey murdoch#my art
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Ghostfire Shen Yuan loyally following the lonely, undying, forgotten Luo Binghe from the original outline.
They never even met.
Shen Yuan had died long before Luo Binghe’s story was set to start. Abandoned by his System, he was left wandering the realms, searching for anything to latch onto, anything to stave off the darkness encroaching on his consciousness whenever he stopped. He keeps himself entertained with little jokes and references that will never reach anyone. At least back home, there were other people on the opposite side of his screen reacting, seeing. Paying attention.
He never would have thought he’d miss the times he was perceived by others. He’d give anything, though. Anything.
He stumbles upon the protagonist as he’s ascending the stairs of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect for the first time. Dressed in rags and heaving with the effort, Luo Binghe is exactly as Shen Yuan had pictured: a little bun, soft and kind and so very brave.
The excitement wears off soon enough. When the tea ceremony is held, Shen Yuan watches, hopelessly trying to stop the cup from hitting Binghe’s head. He lunges at Shen Jiu; let him be identified and exorcised, at least he would have done something with himself, however useless. It doesn’t work. Of course not—nothing can come between Luo Binghe and his fate.
Shen Yuan thinks about leaving. Many times. But every time he considers the possibility of going back to wandering the world, or just passing on… Well. There’s still a lot to see, isn’t there? It will get better. It will.
Only, it doesn’t. Not really.
There’s no harem; there’s no warm comfort offered to Luo Binghe by a sympathetic beauty, no wedding celebrations, no moments of gentle companionship, however brief, however superficial. There’s no camaraderie with his demon underlings, his generals, his allies; it’s all casual cruelty and dismissals, before it’s violence and subjugation.
There’s no joy. There’s no hope. There’s no ‘better’.
Something is wrong, that’s clear. Something is wrong, and Shen Yuan has no one to blame.
This is not the Proud Immortal Demon Way he knows.
Centuries later, when Luo Binghe begs for the heavens to allow him to die, Shen Yuan hears. When Luo Binghe rages against the passage of time, alone in the wreckage of his palace, left behind by everyone he’d ever known, Shen Yuan accompanies him. When Luo Binghe lies down in the Holy Mausoleum and refuses to get up, Shen Yuan waits, as he had for centuries, until Luo Binghe opens his eyes again and takes to the road.
They end up in a hidden realm so filled with Yin energy that Shen Yuan can channel it to manipulate his form into that of his former body. It’s not detectable by the living, but it’s there. He feels stronger, too. He can walk, float, fly, interact with what few other ghosts they encounter.
Still, Luo Binghe cannot see him.
Luo Binghe doesn’t talk much. Well, that makes sense, he was never in the habit of talking to himself, but still. It’s lonely.
They end up in a town where a diviner takes one look at Luo Binghe and offers him a free reading. Shen Yuan can’t enter her tent, well-warded against foreign entities as it is, so he waits outside.
She tells Luo Binghe of the little hanger-on he’s got. A powerful one, too, though he’s still getting used to his powers. He’s been here for a long time, she says. Since he was a child. He comes from far away—farther than even the most distant star.
Luo Binghe begins talking to him. Shen Yuan isn’t sure why, but he’s not complaining!
Luo Binghe also begins meditating again, trying to soothe the damage done by Xin Mo over the centuries. For every meal, he places a few fruits or snacks across from him on a plate he’d made himself, which he eats only after finishing his own dish. He makes space by his side whenever he walks on a narrow road. He stops at every landmark and tells stories about them, always starting the same way.
“Do you remember when…” becomes Shen Yuan’s favourite phrase.
One night, Luo Binghe sighs and looks across the table. Shen Yuan places himself so that he’s in Luo Binghe’s focus.
“What is it, Binghe?”
Luo Binghe doesn’t answer him, of course. Still, it feels like a conversation, when he says:
“I wish I knew your name.”
Shen Yuan frets. He’s been trying to manipulate the physical world, but he never got the hang of it. He’d tried drawing in sand, with water, just pushing things off shelves. And yet, nothing.
“I’m sorry, I wish—” he tries, but Luo Binghe is already talking again.
“I wonder if we ever crossed paths when you were alive.” He’s expressed this thought more than once. Shen Yuan never likes to think about how they’ve missed each other, how they’d been set up for failure from the start. “I wonder if we would have been friends.”
Shen Yuan scoffs. Of course not. Him and the protagonist? No way.
But—those cold star eyes, blindly searching for him, trying to land on him… They make him want to say, I would have liked that.
He reaches a hand out to touch Luo Binghe’s forehead. He’s taken to doing it whenever Luo Binghe broods, or makes a silly joke Shen Yuan wishes he didn’t find funny. It’s soothing.
He wishes Binghe could feel it.
When his finger touches the demon mark, it blazes. Luo Binghe gasps, that heavy gaze settling on Shen Yuan’s face.
Shen Yuan startles, and jumps away.
“No! Wait!”
Shen Yuan hesitates. Luo Binghe is looking around himself, eyes begging for even a wisp of Shen Yuan’s shadow.
He can’t deny Luo Binghe this.
He can’t deny himself this.
He reaches out again. This time, he cups Luo Binghe’s cheeks. When those eyes clear of panic and widen in awe, he whispers, softly, “Shen Yuan. My name is Shen Yuan.”
Luo Binghe looks like he’s been handed a treasure so precious he’s afraid to touch it. He hesitates, raising his hands in careful starts and stops, before taking Shen Yuan’s face in them, gently caressing the soft, cold skin of his face. His eyes dance with the haste he takes in memorising Shen Yuan’s features.
Then, he smiles. Helpless and weak and so, so precious. Shen Yuan has not seen hope so bright in Luo Binghe’s face since that fateful day on Cang Qiong Mountain.
“Hello, Shen Yuan.”
#svsss#svsss fic#luo binghe#bingyuan#shen yuan#bing-xiong#lbx#i DONT know what the fuck this is#im so exhausted. i am not in the right writing mindse#but please. please ponder this with me im begging so much#ignore every spotty grammar instance. im waving the ESL flag like its a shield#luo bing-xiong PLEASE tell me ur secreta#.txt#loyal ghost au
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Thistle and Thorn
#artists on tumblr#illustration#fanart#slay the princess#slay the princess fanart#stp#stp fanart#stp the thorn#i am exhausted#the hair and each thorn respectively took like 10 years off of my life
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I‘m a burden for everyone. I’m even a burden to myself.
#tw depressing thoughts#alone with my thoughts#depressing shit#feeling alone#sad thoughts#mentally exhausted#mentally tired#sadnees#overthinking#self h@te#i dont want to be here#self h@rm#i hate everything#overthinker#tw selfhate#i am useless#im not feeling good
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This might seem like an "old man yells at cloud" situation, but it's just wild growing up and being told how dangerous distracted driving is - how, at highway speeds, you can traverse the length of a football field (100 yards, 91 meters) in a matter of seconds - how one split second sending a text while driving could result in a potential fatal crash, and then getting on the road as a driver and being surrounded by billboards. Their entire purpose is to catch one's attention, so they're lining major roads, which tend to be highways. How is it that you're told how important it is to never be distracted while driving, but still being advertised to?
At best, this type of advertising is an eyesore to pedestrians and motorists and a general waste of electricity to light it, and at worst, it is an active danger considering they are there to advertise and therefore, must catch people's attention.
I'm not even against advertising in theory, but this particular mode bothers me so much and I hate how pervasive it is - especially in large cities or highways.
#politics#i don't know much about são paulo banning marketing billboards but on paper i want that here in the USA#as a motorist it at best just makes me more anxious driving in those larger cities because i want to FOCUS ON THE ROAD#and passing 5000 billboards per mile isn't helping actually!#i've gotten good at filtering that out of my FOV but it's still fucking exhausting lol#i especially hate those modern electric billboards. despise them actually#i am aware that advertising is a critical aspect to business management in some cases...#...but it shouldn't risk the safety of the populous for you to advertise to them and i see things like billboards as risking safety...#...i feel similarly about online advertising in that so much of it risks internet user's safety...#...such as flashing ads online which risk triggering epileptic seizures in light/photo-sensitive folks#distracted driving (texting): NO >:( || distracted driving (being advertised to): YAYYYY :D#i've been driving on my own for a few years now and i've been thinking about this for ENTIRELY too long
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i’m a horrible influence btw because i would drag you into bed and do absolutely everything in my power to keep you there for as long as possible
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#i am not above pouting OR puppy eyes sorry#making this post because im so tiredddddd#and i plan to sleep for as long as possible#and it’s honestly SO rude that there’s no one here to hide away under all my blankets with me#like come lay down and sleep here until an absolutely absurd hourwith me pleasseee#i am#Exhausted#😴😴#so nightttt everyone hope you all get good sleep and have good dreams#im blowing you all kisses goodnight btw#<3!!!#i love you So much good things and good sleep for you all im manifesting#🌙✨✨💫☁️#im gay and i like sleeping
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Scribbled on the flight home. One day more! 🥺
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#my art#it’s literally tmr im going crazy ahhhh#it’ll release at midnight 1 nov for me tho pfffft#wonder if I can install it overnight#hmmm#I am so exhausted physically from the trip#but the brain is still so hyped for everything#oh Emmy I’ll see you soon#//screaming crying throwing up#iPad doodles are so chicken scratchy shdidhd#folks were watching me doodle lmao
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