#i am unlovable
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Forgive me for what I am.
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#poetry#poem#quotes#dark academia#writing#words#typography#writingblr#love#life#sad quotes#sad poetry#sad poems#unloveable#i am unlovable
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You don't miss me at all.
#and you never will again.#im nothing to you anymore#just a discarded piece of trash#i have no value#i am pathetic#and diagusting#i am unlovable#and alone#i dont see me wanting a place in this world anymore#i have such bad shakes and anxiety#i just#want it to stop#i want to stop feeling things so much and so excruciatingly#i have nwvwr been loved#i will never be loved#the only person i wanted to ever love me was you#you were the only person i cared about ollie#im sorry i couldnt be who you wanted#i tried#im sorry#i just wanted you to love me#mine
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tell me why one of my relatives deadass laughed when someone suggested that i may be in a relationship in the future and therefore may be a bit busier
is it that hard to imagine that someone could love me?
i suppose it is
#personal#daily life#vent#vent post#ranting#sorry for ranting#i am unlovable#something is wrong with me#apparently#mentally ill#mental health issues#low self esteem#unrequited feelings#unrequited crush#no one loves me#and no one ever will#but why do people have to be so mean about it#i’m crying
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for who could ever learn
to love a beast?
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He promised
He said he wouldn’t leave me.
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Burden
I am but a shattered vessel, unworthy of holding love. My darkened future looms ahead, and I cannot bear to burden another with its weight
My love for her is a burning flame, its light would only cast shadows on her joy. For who would willingly choose a life of struggle and sorrow, with a man such ?
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WELL ISN’T THIS A WHOLE ASS MOOD THIS EVENING
why do i feel like i am so hard to love
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#i wrote him this letter right#it’s like five pages#just outlining everything i’ve learned#but in all honesty i don’t know if he cares#it’s really hard because i can’t just ask#i can’t text him because he wouldn’t want that#and it wouldn’t be productive#and i just feel like now knowing everything i know like dude we just didn’t KNOW what to work on#but he doesn’t want that#and now i just have to sit here in all my knowledge and sadness and try to not think about him#but it’s all i can think about#i am so deeply miserable#this is a misery i haven’t felt before#i feel so fucking alone#i was already so deeply depressed before this and now it just feels like there’s no point#i am unlovable#i am not worth it#i am exhausting#i am so fucking ugly man he wouldn’t even touch me#i am disgusting#and unworthy of love#and i am trying real hard to just keep my head above water and not k word myself#but it’s not even just about a man it’s about me as a person man i feel like the worst person alive#i am just a shell of a person#i’ve been thinking abt going to the hospital again but my family is gonna think it’s just bc of a man#like no i’ve thought abt this for months but now it’s like. idk i feel like i need to.#i feel like i’m just like on my last leg and i keep getting kicked#i don’t even care about my life man#i cared about him and i care about my friends and my dog but like im not even capable of caring for those things now#i’m just empty
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glad you haven't had to face one of your deepest insecurities in real time, over and over again, but please for the love of Christ stop making fun of me when I do.
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♤ I feel as though it truly wouldn't matter.
Most people I've ever interacted with are long gone.
There's more fingers on one hand than how many people who talk to me currently. None of them care the way I need them too.
I am sick. I disabled. I am traumatized. I am struggling.
I have used my childhood to try and make myself lovable and acceptable to people.
I have used my youth to try and prevent the issues that I saw in my future.
I have used my adult years desperately trying to get help and begging for people to listen to me as my health declines and I feel my body continue to fail me.
I have worked my entire life to try and fix everything that's wrong with me, everything that other people have done to me.
Why is it that even now that when I have nothing left to give, fucking nothing, am I still the bad guy?
I could have been such a great person. I could have been so happy. I wanted to do so much.
Why?
Why wasn't I allowed that?
Why am I not allowed to be happy?
Why am I not allowed to be comfortable in my own fucking body?
Why am I not allowed to have a safe home?
Why am I not allowed to have people in my life who don't fucking make me feel like shit?
Why am I not allowed to be tired even now?
Why?
Why?
#etchvent#trauma#mental illness#mental problems#childhood trauma#wasted youth#fucked up#fucked up family#random writing#idk#autism#autistic struggles#autistic experiences#chronic loneliness#chronic suicidality#chronic pain#chronic illness#chronically ill#i am uncomfortable#i am unwell#i am so tired#i am unlovable#i am unhappy#i want to kms#I'm gonna kms
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me and who bro
Storyteller x Listener
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You watched me.
You watched me cry.
You watched me sob.
You watched me lose it all.
And yet you still cannot give me the decency.
The decency to text or call or even give me the time of day.
You cannot give me the effort that I begged and pleaded for.
And yet you still watch me beg for more.
#poetry#poems on tumblr#word dump#owie#i am tired#poem#i am so tired#i am unwell#i am unlovable#pleading#please#please please please#pleaseeee
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20+ year streak of having never kissed anyone
💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪😭💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
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I don't think your best friend hates you, I don't know what happened but if they're really your best friend, they could never hate you
they don't ever want to see me or hear from me again, they don't love or care about me and went from resenting me to being indifferent to not being able to stand me. and then left me when i needed them the most. they'll still be my best friend in my heart even if they hate me.
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now thats a funny thought
#laughing hysterically#do you really think there will ever be a person to say i love you and like. actually mean it ?#wholeheartedly mean it???#not for me lmfao#i am unlovable#just the idea of someone saying it is. I'm laughing and sobbing
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consumed by the inevitable
#messyr#you know- I kept thinking: One day. The cage will be open but I feel like I'll stay. Because if I run- I'd wind up dead from their bullet#so I just- tend to- follow as much as I want to rebel and put sense into this fuckass household. I hate seeing the others in pain as well#and it hurts more that it feels like I can NEVER be the one to break this cycle of abuse- when I knew from the start- when I knew too much#but here I am ending up like the rest of them- helpless and unable to do jackshit about the situation. I cant say or do anything at all!#I dont want to end up like them- if anything I want to BREATHE- i want all of us to LIVE without this pain that has existed for generations#I want to help so bad no matter how much I know I am unloved.#no matter how much hate i carry- no matter how much burden- Underneath it all- I'm devoted to them- that's how fucked up I am#i know i'll never be enough. I know how often I think of death and wish it.#But I have a dream to achieve and I am not planning to die until I reach it. Not yet. If pain is where I strive best then so be it.#doodle#vent art#artists on tumblr#bpd#toxic behavior#learned helplessness
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