#i am being an ass rn i am aware
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we have kept up the weekly dinner movie thing i started in a panic this summer and also the every week dinner thing we had going before w a diff friend so i cook for 5 friends twice a week now and i do like cooking so its cool (i think they sometimes go overboard on the praise for my food lol) but like right when we decided to do it one person had to start fodmap so anything i cook cant have gluten or garlic or onions or a number of other things but its ok i can modify i can find recipes and make it work i am smart and a decent cook most of the time. but now a girlfriend may be invited who is vegetarian and is dating the friend who doesnt like tofu and fodmap says u cant have legumes or like 90% of all cheeses so idk how tf im gonna get protien in this meal PLUS gf has lupus so she may eat like 3 bites anyway if her appetite is wack. bwarryghh
#its fine i like to cook but i dont want to cook seperate meals thats lame#and i respect the ibs struggle it would be tough for me to do a restrictive diet like that#but i also wish we did not talk about poop literally every time we met up.#i am being an ass rn i am aware
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re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on
https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share
(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.
(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)
anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂
- @bondedpairs
ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!
#like. i don’t know how to explain how narratively aware will smith is to me. he knows he’s being put into the codependent rookies arc.#he’s aware that zeev buium transforms into a dog. he knows that he and mack aren’t getting together because mack’s gotta work it out first.#& in a less unhinged way i simply mean that will smith has an air of both self-conscious thought & projection i think is maybe fascinating.#but not in a way in which i actually know this or think that he thinks about himself and how he comes across. he just Is Something ????#the best way i can explain is one of my alltime favorite fics i use it like a shorthand citation bc i love it so much but catchascatchcan’s#many worlds universe but specifically the second tk/pat story second person you the ouroboros spits out its tale nolan walks off screen.#like that is the kind of narrative awareness i am trying to explain that no matter where i put him will smith knows he’s inside a story but#not in a way where he’s trying to do anything to it. he’s just present there. this makes no sense to me either please understand#liv in the replies#bondedpairs#happy to have brought you something in your times of woe!!! also hope things get a little less stressful for you!! <3#we’re 2gether p much 24/7” no go on i say in my nature documentary voice. watching them like bugs under a rock rn observing from a distance#this DID get me to actually watch the video. agreed with puckpocketed saying rich text and ur tags like. YES the daddy issues popped out.#just wants to make sure he’s having fun!! checking up!! mack the prime irritance in will’s life!! foisted off on one another w/ no choice#it’s like when your parents are friends so then you have to be friends with their kids in a way and then also like. you’re the only kids#close in age to each other but they’re NOT but it is definitely not like. i would choose you for any lifetime it is very will smith hockey#(once again) very aware he has to wait for mack to settle down. like now that i’m saying this i DO want clairvoyant will smith which is not#where it goes in the first half but just in the sense of like. those silly posts that are like ‘invested early in stock!’ & it’s a picture#of braden holtby & his beautiful bisexual wife brandi back when holts was a hipster who wore skinny scarves & now everyone thinks he’s sooo#like that but it’s will smith saying my god you are insufferable but you’ll be fantastic in five years. get in the fucking car.#(yes i am drawing extensively from the one picture where will has COMPLETELY tuned him out (there is a football reasoning reference here?#with the patriots? neonfretra drew this also but it was a tweet about the teams. there’s layers to this here ANYWAY) we’re building a life#i realize after the fact i addressed neither the dilf (gilf?) fucking here nor the content of the actual video & polycules to which i say:#brain scrampled egg. the burnsie/joe/patty/(pavs???) polycule just exists to me and the kids intersect the venn diagram but in a much#smaller portion than they intersect each other in both ways (will/mack joe/the guys)#also as for the content of the video. you’re gonna have to give me at LEAST (how long did it take me until i actually started posting tzjd?#i hate that this is my metric but it really was like. i see everyone yelling about them & i’m like ok. [please ignore the irrational hatred#i have for tz at the time it has to do with moritz seider and also whenever i see him on the ice something awakens in kill mode] and i DO#blame tzjd for my 800 drafts and it took me like. a good while before i finally went OH kay. i see it. okay i can get invested. horizon at#a 45 degree angle moon in the late waxing gibbous winds scented of orange & blowing S by SW from the vortex cycle etc etc ass conditions)
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Just a heads up y'all, I'll be out of town and traveling from December 22nd to December 27th. I'll probably be offline for the most part, but I might pop in here and there.
This is a super stressful trip for me so please don't bring up more stressful things while I'm out.
#ill more than likely be high off my ass for most of the traveling#it's gonna be super stressful for me regardless tho#i do not enjoy flying#especially during the holidays#also yes i am aware of the order being sent my way but i really just don't want to have to deal with it#it probably won't go through and im hoping that it doesn't because i cant handle that shit rn
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#sotd#vent#have you ever been dysphoric and also “what if I’m actually not trans” at the same time#cuz that’s been my week so far#being genderfluid is a real pain in the ass rn#bcuz it all feels so mushed together rn…#like I feel like a girl and imagine myself as a feminine person but I just feel ugly#but also I’m a fucking guy and I look and feel so fucking feminine and I hate it#I hate that I can’t have it both#i hate being dysphoric#I haven’t been this dysphoric in so fucking long#and I haven’t been this physically insecure in even longer#and I’ve been so hyper aware of how other ppl perceive me#I feel like an imposter#and various other things I could go on and on and on about#but I know I need to pull myself out of it or else I’ll let it consume me#sigh#on another note this song got me like 🕺🕺🕺#I hope ur doing better than I am whoever u are reading this#I mean it#and if not then here’s a hug 🫂#or alternatively a fist bump 👊💥#ok bai#SoundCloud
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i was gonna post smth like "if i had found out 2 years ago that u can insert a nasogastric tube urself it wouldve ruined me" which is wild cuz its ruining me Right Now
#ipj speaks#i can usually manage at least 2 half-decent meals a day but theyre still Exhausting#granted its not the psychological horror it was 2 years ago but it still sucks too much for something i should be doing 3 times a day#and its weird cuz i cant even explain why i dont like it#it doesnt hurt. it doesnt make me anxious (anymore). its just so boring and draining#btw i am aware ARFID exists and im almost certain i have it. itd just be a really bad time to do anything about it rn#(unless my parents are being misleading about our financials but I DONT KNOW. I DONT FUCKING KNOW)#<-hangry ass posting lol (😔)
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anyone who is inlove with me 👉👈
#Im sorry im having a bad episode rn and am most likely going to be embarrassed but oh well. i need validation.#also im like mostly aware nobody gives a rats ass about me on here but . still.#theres like a tiny part of me that wishes theres a person on here that actually cares about me very deeply thoufh they dont show it#but also i get anxious when i remember that literally anyone can access my crazy ramblings.😀#/╲/\╭(•‿•)╮/\╱\#finak thoughts for now HOPEFULLY: if youre like me . listen to your intuition. its never been wrong for me. yes i feel crazy and paranoid#but guess what i am also? always right. so. yeah. if something feels off its because it is. ☝️ stop beinf a dumb bitch like me and ignoring#your intuition. dont be like me please. ive been aware about so many things way before they happened but always disregarded my suspicions#bitch my suspicions have never been wrong. those whove made me out a crazy paranoid bitch. EAT SHIT.#anywho anywho. if something feels off and wrong. its cause it is off and wrong. people cant be trusted ever. most suck . truthfully.#see this is why therapy doesnt work for me. unless ive written thoughts like these down these revelations come and go on ther own and in th#meantime im as dumb as a rock!!!! because i literally forget everything that ever happens to me#anyways. the verdict is. i need someone who is obsessed with me so that i can be obsessed with them without being made out to be crazy😌#i cant love normally because at the end of the day nothing about me is normal.#im unsatisfied because normal life doesn't fit me.#normal life is made for normal and sane people. not for weird bitches like me who share their delusional ramblings on Toomblr dot com.#thats actually a sort of. calming realization. im constantly trying to fit into the mold of a normal person#when clearly im not. ive neverbeen. ive turned out this way because everyone ostracized me for not being like them#well. suddenly i feel better. dont get me wrong i still hope theres at leasr one person on here whois madly inlove with me🥶#but yeag. im jughead coded at the end of the day. Riverdale writers found outt about me and were like lets makes jughead based on her is#no “is” .sorry#based off on actually. i know english well i swear
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I'm christian now
#THE FINE LINE BETWEEN KNOWLEDGE OF MANIFESTING AND AWARENESS OF THE PRESENCE OF UNHINGED FUCKED UP UNFORTUNATE GENETICS#CURRENTLY I BELIEVE IF I THINK ABOUT IT GETS STRONGER. JANKY OUTPUT. CREATING MY OWN DEMISE#THIS SUCKS FUCKING ASS AND I ALSO HAVE APHANTASIA PRETTY MUCH SO I CAN'T COVER UP THE PATTERNS AND DISTORTED IMAGES OF EVERYTHING I DONT#WANT TO SEE BUT THEY'RE THERE AND FRACTALISED. SOMETIMES I CAN SEE IMAGES SO DISTANT AND BLURRY AND TRANSPARENT OVER THE BLACK BUT RN THEY#JUST DISSOLVE AND THE WEIRD SHIT TAKES OVER#I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE WHAT FEELS LIKE A 1/4 LOADED EGO DEATH#NOT THAT I'D MIND BUT I'D LIKE TO KEEP MY MEMORIES AND PERSONALITY THANKS#ANYWAY I NEED TO EXERCISE AND EAT FOOD AND STAY AWAY FROM THE VICES AND ENGAGE IN ANYTHING BUT THE DEGENARATE TIME-LEECH THAT IS COMPLACENCY#MOTHERFUCKER#NOT EVERYTHING IS A GODDAMN PATTERN OR SIGN AND YOU NEED TO ABANDON THIS PRETENTIOUS HUBRIS THAT THE ALL IS SOMETHING YOU CAN PUT LABELS ON#DIVINATION IS REAL THOUGH#AGAIN THIS FINE LINE#MAYBE I NEED A NEW HOBBY#NOT EVERYTHING IS A FUCKING SYNCHRONICITY. SOMETIMES EVENTS JUST HAPPEN. I MUST BECOME AWARE THAT I HAVE BEEN DESPARATLEY SEEKING SIGNS THAT#I AM CAPABLE OF CLIMBING OUT OF THE GODDAM PIT IVE BEEN IN FOR UNIRONICALLY MOST OF MY LIFE#AND SHIT IS REACHING A TIPPING POINT AND I ALSO JUST HAVE A GLITCHED IMAGE GENERATING SYSTEM AND THE HORRORS ARE ONLY BEING INTERPRETED#AS THE BEGINNING OF SCHIZOPHRENIA BC IM AFRAID OF IT. AND IM SEARCHING FOR AND SEEING PATTERNS IN EVERYTHING BECAUSE I WANT TO ANALYSE EVERY#SINGLE ATOM OF MYSELF AND MY SURROUNDINGS TO SEE IF I CAN FIGURE OUT JUST WHAT IT IS THAT I'M EXPERIENCING#ALSO ANTIPSYCOTIC MEDS NOW LIKE RN JUST IN CASE#THE RINGING IN YOUR EARS ISNT ANYTHING ITS JUST RINGING#NOT EVERYTHING IS A PATTERN AND EVENTS CAN JUST HAPPEN#AAAAHHH
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PASSENGER PRINCESS (op81 x female!reader)
ꪆৎ the internet bursts into flames when problematic pop princess flaunts formula one heart-throb in everyone's faces in her chart topping brand new music video!
warnings: use of strong language, internet hate, sexual innuendos and uses of y/n !
part one part two
instagram ꪆৎ!!🎀
yourusername
liked by tatemcrae , user49 and 106,245 others
yourusername say you're all mine touch me under street lights.. 🚦
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user29 call me delusional but this is so much more than just a photoshoot
user10 chat SHES 100% BACK IN THE STUDIO
user48 are we all going to forget she's like a massive slut
user02 dating y/e/n was her only good quality but she's fucked that up too!
↳ user74 let's stop overshadowing confident women with their bum ass exes!
francisca.cgomes in loveeeeeee liked by author
chappellroan nobody is doing it like you ꪆৎ🩷
↳ yourusername nobody is doing it like YOU
user64 i can smell a potential single on the way..
↳ yourusername dropping on friday? is that alr with u guys?
user47 shit person, shit music
↳ yourusername shit opinion!
oscarpiastri 👀🚦
↳ user58 ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
twitter ๋࣭⭑💟!!
instagram ꪆৎ!!🎀
yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, sabrinacarpenter and 457,304 others
yourusername PASSENGER PRINCESS OUT NOW!! GO AND SHAKE ASS TO IT XOXO
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user81 WHAT IS THAT MELODY!?!?!?
↳ user83 it's one of the best pop songs i've ever heard your honour
user73 if anything this mv proved how much of a slut she
↳ yourusername if anything this comment proves how obsessed you are with me x
user10 defenition of separate art from the artist
↳ user37 pleaseee tell me what this girl did apart from being the unbothered DIVA 💜 she is
oscarpiastri out of this world
↳ yourusername commenting casually as if we forgot what happened last night..
↳ oscarpiastri shhhhh liked by author
user03 OSCAR JACK PIASTRI I WASN'T AWARE OF YOUR FREAK LEVEL
↳ yourusername *sigh* neither was i 😮💨
↳ user03 chat , now hold awnnnnn..
landonorris do you guys need a third?
user04 I WONDER HOW TWITTER IS DOING RN
↳ user29 we are in the horny trenches
twitter๋࣭⭑💟!!
this was only part one and i am EXHAUSTED.. anyway part two coming very very soon !!! 😮💨😮💨
©lovingpiastri
#lovingpiastri#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri drabble#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri smau#formula one smau#f1 smau#smau
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Morning Routine pt.1 [nsfw]
(Wakatoshi Ushijima x F!Reader)
a/n this is something i wrote and edited today in a single run >.< I wanted to release a haikyuu fluff fic for my tumblr debut but i was just possessed by something this morning and rolled outta bed and just typed this up hehe.. reblogs and comments appreciated!! i have like 12 unfinished works rn and i am busting my ass off to get those finished and published! please be on the lookout for more from me!
summary:: wakatoshi has a bad habit-- his morning routine revolves around you. more specifically, cumming to the sounds of you. warnings:: wakatoshi is highkey a creep/stalker but this fic is fluffy i promise music rec!:: 2fast by superm <AKA the song i listened to when writing> word count:: 1.9k
6:33 AM, the blinking clock reads.
He doesn’t even need an alarm now.
Silently, Wakatoshi rolls over, reaches over to his nightstand and grasps the two items he needs most– lube and toilet paper.
Sighing, he sits himself up, leaning against the headboard of the bed, and, as if awaiting instructions, goes very, very still.
In a way, he is waiting for orders. You just aren’t aware that you’re the one giving them.
6:34 AM. A mere minute before you’re up and he can get started with his day. It doesn’t feel right, yet he can’t stop. Shaking his head, Wakatoshi shifts his weight around, impatient.
I should stop.
There it is. That nagging voice of reason that scolds him every morning. But really, at this point, he can’t function normally without you.
There’s a certain amount of stress that comes with carrying the title of ace. All the papers praising his skills, cheering fangirls, and words of encouragement from coach only added to the ever growing expectations that people had for him.
Luckily, when he was a senior in high school, Wakatoshi had discovered what best alleviates this pressure– not meditation, not Tendo’s comics, but sexual relief.
Every morning, a quick handjob does the job, gets him into prime condition. He even checked with his primary doctor to ensure it’s safe and healthy to release everyday– “you’ll be fine, Wakatoshi, as long as you don’t consume too much porn,” the old man had advised kindly.
He took the doctor’s words to heart– since he had discovered this method of relief, Wakatoshi had never viewed porn. Some of his teammates laughed at him when they found out he almost religiously avoids it, but he doesn’t want to contaminate his brain with potentially intrusive or disturbing visions. His imagination has always been enough, after all.
Until he met you.
In a way, you’re both a blessing and a curse– probably the latter, he admits to himself. Because since he’d met you months ago, the only thing that’s been able to get him up is you.
He’s never slept so well, his skin has never looked so clear, and, most importantly, his condition on court has never been better. He’s considered the possibility of you being a goddess, or possibly his guardian angel and can only rule those out with the fact that you, like him, masturbate.
More accurately, masturbate. Every. Single. Morning.
Then he hears it. The first soft moan. Wakatoshi glances at the time– 6:37 AM. You’re getting a slightly late start today.
No matter. He lifts his hips, gently rolls down his gray sweats to his lower thigh. He’s already hard. He doesn’t even have to touch himself now to get excited. Your quiet voice and the thoughts of you are enough.
Poor you. You’re unaware that despite residing in a luxurious, single-person room reserved for school athletes, the walls are criminally thin.
Wakatoshi pops open the lid of the lube, squirting a glob into his warm hand. He throws aside the bottle, barely registering as it bounces off the bed, only intent on listening into the sounds of you and your body.
When he first grasps his cock, he has to hold back a groan. Despite it being an everyday routine, he still feels the same surge of pleasure as when he first started this nasty habit months ago.
You're breathing slightly more heavily now, and he hears the sounds of your fingers inserting and exiting your body at a familiar pace. He follows along, carefully stroking up and down.
He wonders where you’ve learned this from, because you always go at the perfect pace. Somedays, you go slower, teasing yourself, pausing just before you orgasm, but it’s always.
It’s always exactly what he needs.
God. He knows this is wrong, even as he pumps faster with his left hand to keep up with your quick fingers. It feels so good.
Next door, you’re beginning to let out soft cries.
He presses his thumb against the tip, holding back a moan of his own as he envisions you jerking him off.
He’s seen your hand before– extra soft from being in gloves for multiple hours daily as a fencer.
Thinking about your sport has him thinking about his, and now he’s back to thinking about how wrong this is. But he can’t help it, he’s already tried to give it up once– yielding horrible results.
The day he held back and skipped a morning fap session with you was also the hardest day of his life. He had found himself unable to focus in lecture, especially grumpy towards Tendo’s typically bearable antics, and worst of all, all his hits were off.
“Your schedule must be off,” his captain had said, casually tossing a ball high into the air.
“Bad sleep? Rough morning?”
Wakatoshi had blinked at him wordlessly, wondering how the tall setter had guessed accurately.
“It’s fine,” the third-year had reassured him, “just get back on track tomorrow.”
With that, Wakatoshi had found himself ‘back on track,’ masturbating with– no, to you– every morning.
You’re moaning out loud now, almost whimpering. His cock pulses in his hands, veins bulging, growing hotter and heavy. Fuck, he just wants to see you right now. Your cute face, your sexy neck, gorgeous arms...
He can almost see it now– your smooth thighs shaking and twisting as your small hands would grasp your pillow. He’d make you feel so good, he just knows it. He’d lean against you, kiss your neck and ear before whispering how good you are, how you’re making him cum, how much he loves you!
You’d cum, and he wouldn’t stop. He’d want to see your eyes roll back over and over again, and he’d memorize every inch of your face.
Wakatoshi holds back another groan. His fisted hand feels so good against his cock, especially as it imagines it’s your tight pussy.
Contrary to what Tendo believes (the only one to know about this bad habit) it wasn’t just your soft moans and quiet gasps that had him clenching his sheets as he lifted his hips.
He had long fallen for you, since you had first locked eyes with him in the long hallway.
There was something about you. The way you always smile up at him gently– not in the way that other girls smile at him, as if they want something (usually his number)– but a genuine smile, eyes crinkling slightly.
This unexpected attraction was only exacerbated when you sat next to him at the first-years’ dinner party. You smelled so fucking good and listened to his words with actual interest, asking him about his family and laughing at his lame jokes.
Unfortunately, he was also scared.
He had heard about the countless rejections you’d dished out since the first day of university.
Despite his perceived sexual ignorance, Wakatoshi knew everything there was to know– he was popular, too, in his own right. Tall and lean, there were girls throwing themselves on him left and right.
But he only wanted you.
Today, he must be extra stressed (especially with that upcoming psychology exam that he hasn’t studied for yet) because he’s so, so close, yet can’t seem to finish.
Fine then.
He leans over, grabs his cell phone. He only does this in emergency cases, which occurs about once or twice a month.
Swiping up, he’s greeted by his photo gallery, opened the night prior for this cause.
In his locked gallery awaits dozens of photos of you.
Obviously none were taken by him!
Wakatoshi’s a creep, but one with manners and boundaries.
This gallery is cluttered with headshots of you from the school’s official website, silly photos of you that were sent into the college athlete’s group chat, and his favorite– photos of you from your close friend who sells them to him at fair prices, starting at $10 minimum.
None are suggestive. But they still rile him up, maybe because the only connection he has with you is through your early morning activities.
Wakatoshi desperately taps on the newest picture he bought for $40, quadruple the usual price– he can hear your breath hitching, and he knows you’re almost done.
He wants to finish with you so bad.
He was going to save this picture for next week, when he knows you’ll be gone for the fencing nationals and he’ll have to cum without you for an entire miserable, dreadful, god-forsaken week–
but he doesn’t care now. Nothing matters.
It’s a glorious photo– when he heard your friend had it, he had grabbed her by the shoulders and demanded a price.
You. On the beach. Under an umbrella. Lying on a purple towel.
He had paid an extra ten dollars for the motion picture– so he could watch you go from ass up onto your back, breasts jiggling and cheeky smirk in full action.
That’s enough.
He holds his fist tight–one more pump and he’s finished, but he wants to make sure you’re cumming first– and he hears it– to his relief, you’re moaning and whispering– “‘m cumming!”
Yeah, he’s cumming too. His hips lift again, and he drags his closed fist downwards against his wet cock. His vision blurs.
“Fuck!”
He can’t help it, today’s orgasm is especially strong, taking control of his full body. He’s shaking, mind barely in control as he continues to slowly pump to ride out the whole orgasm. After all, that’s what you’d do, right? You’d keep riding him, even as he finished and begged you to stop.
Thank God we came together.
Sometimes, you bait him. More often than he likes, you switch it up, holding yourself back and not allowing yourself to cum before masturbating all over again for an even more powerful orgasm. Those days suck– when he’s already softening, cum all over his large hands, and you’re still going.
He hears your bed squeak, and he sighs– as soon as it starts, it’s already over.
6:45 AM, his phone reads. Wakatoshi tosses it aside.
Thankfully, he had pulled his phone away in time, avoiding tainting the device with his release. A few times a month, he gets careless and cums onto an open picture of you, causing him to have to run through his shower extra fast so he can leave time to wipe down the device.
Rolling off the bed, he heads towards the shower leisurely. It’s also become a part of his routine to time his shower. It makes him feel even more intimately connected to you.
Wakatoshi’s grateful you take long showers– you’ve never taken less than 24 minutes to shower, typically, they last about 34 minutes on average. That gives him the time to jump out first and wait to exit his room at the same time you depart from yours.
Under the heat of warm water, he’s usually consumed with thoughts of you, impossible thoughts, like maybe you know.
The wall between you and him is equally thin, and your hearing may be as equally good as his…
Maybe you know, and you like masturbating with him.
And then, just as a precaution, he douses himself with cold water at the end of his shower, and those thoughts dissipate with the steam escaping towards the vent.
Like everyday, Wakatoshi laces his shoes, sprays on his favorite cologne (that your friend claims you like) and inhales, bracing himself to see you.
As he hears your feet shuffle, he pushes his door open first, stepping out into the warm hallway.
“Good morning, Wakatoshi!” You greet, eyes brightening. He nods, gulping. That’s an acceptable form of greeting, right?
As the two of you walk towards the elevator in silence, Wakatoshi can’t help but hope that this morning routine won’t be coming to a stop anytime soon.
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a/n and that's a wrap :,) i really hope you liked and sorry the ending is highkey shit LOL as i kept editing i kept adding and removing more and more and honestly that's kind of my biggest weakness:: i'm never satisfied with my work and i'm scared ppl won't like it ... but i'm trying to overcome that!
#haikyuu smut#haikyuu#wakatoshi x reader#ushijima wakatoshi#haikyuu wakatoshi#hq wakatoshi#ushijima x reader#ushijima smut#haikyuu ushijima#haikyuu fic#haikyuu x you#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu x reader
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svt fic recs list <3 - minghao birthday edition - sfw & nsfw ver.
summary: 7 days of xu minghao reader insert fics for his birthday
contains: 18+ nsfw (mdni!!) majority is afab reader
✩ svt writing & fic rec masterlist ✩
✩ sfw section ✩
❥ minghao as your boyfriend - @babyleostuff
OH TO BE CUDDLED BY MINGHAOOOOO!! i loveeee the idea of him putting lil fashion shows on for his partner (i'm not the most fashionable but i love his style and WILL hype the boi up for whatever he puts me in😌) i love him being confident in him and his partner being endgame. he feels like the kind to just be really aware of how and his partner feels :3
❥ minghao boyfriend habits - @odxrilove
AS SOMEONE WHO CANNOT KEEP MY SLEEVES ROLLED UP FOR THE LIFE OF ME, THANK YOUUUU
shut up the writing the initials on the his blank canvases before painting?? like dedicating all his art to reader 🥺 (i also love the idea he'd write the initials at the back of the wood part too :3)
minghao is DEFINITELY the kind to get you a drink when he gets one. bro takes his tea serioussssly
the crook of my necks is yours minghao, whatever you want dude 🥹
❥ whatever you want - @wheeboo
reader fucking up the pronunciation is so on brand for me (...i did chinese lessons for 10 years and idk anything still😭😭)
and of courseeee he'd be a tease about this, this man is so silly and cheeky
terms of endearment make me melttt hehe
❥ dating xu minghao includes - @svtswhorehouse
i WILL learn to make minghao's favourite food to impress him (seeing him and jun always making the members chinese food is so cute to me i love it so much)
i just KNOW he'd be the soothing kind of boyfriend, making sure his partner's wellbeing is all taken care of (and it shows so well in this) 🥰
"slow and sensual kisses"?!?! *kicks feet and giggles*
❥ bf texts with the8! nana tour edition - @kozukensgf
crying and dying this is too funny skdjgbfdkg
him checking in on reader vs the sassy ass texts vs the nana tour mischief
nana tour has such a big spot in my carat heart ahh i love this
✩ nsfw section ✩
❥ midnight cravings - @junkissed
god...he'd be so attentive i cannnnnnnn't rn sjkgfb GOD THIS IS SO HOT SJFKBD (SORRY I DON'T HAVE MANY WORDS I'M BLUSHING TOO MUCH AFTER READING DFKJGB)
❥ goodnight n go - @hannieehaee
i love me a lil idol!reader and 97 liner type fic heh 😌 the fics gave such a natural progression of friendship into romance, which i lovedddd
obsessed with the part about the necklace. he would definietely put so much thought and care into his romantic partner. he cares a lot about his mom's opinion so giving reader something that means a lot to his family seems so on brand
ames note: happy earlyyyyy birthday for minghaoooo!! if anyone is wondering while there's significantly less the8 fics than my usual fic recs, this is cuz i don't read a lot of work about him. i don't see him in a romantic or sexual way, but i really didn't want to leave him with nothing birthday related, so this is what i came up with!! i hope everyone enjoysss~ ς(.>‿<)
#buntanteen fic recs#xu minghao x reader#minghao x reader#the8 x reader#minghao fluff#minghao smut#seventeen imagines#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen headcanons#seventeen drabbles#seventeen smut#seventeen fanfic#seventeen scenarios#svt fanfic#svt imagines#svt smut#xu minghao#mingao#the8#pls kindly let me know if there are any issues!!
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rimming enha and them just taking it im so hornyygfeww
this wasn't what u asked for but im feral rn so here is hyung line + ass eating. warnings: ASS EATING [my specialty]!!!!!!!!!
☆ jay:
jay would fight you at first, but he's very aware that you have far more energy to win the fight considering he spends all day every day being the perfect man for you. wouldn't take that much to have him giving in either, but he'd be nervous. Probably pulls away at the first lick or touch of his hole ;o; definitely wouldn't let you near it unless he's showered and double checked it in the mirror either. his moans tho, when he realizes how good it feels....oh boy. soft little gasps into his arm while he covers his face, feeling more vulnerable than usual bc he's so used to being the one eating you out. eventually he'd probably shyly ask for it, like "babe, remember when you..." and you[me] would be like "SAY NO MORE" while throwing his legs up in the air and holding those cheeks open with a grip that god himself couldn't tear away.
★ jake:
The type to spread his cheeks for you with both hands and look back at you with sparkly tired eyes. idk, i think you guys are aware of how i feel about jake and how biased i am towards eating his ass. he'd constantly stay cleaned up and groomed too just in case, because he's always going to ask you for it. Definitely loves when you lick the mixture of your own slick + his huge loads of cum off of it too. He would make you stay on it if you're on top, waiting for the mess to drip all the way back between his cheeks, then ask you to lick it :D and you would, because you're both nasty together and i just think thats super hot and very neat.
☆ sunghoon:
you'd have to ask him approximately six million times before he eventually lets you. wouldn't really admit that he's into it either, but you'd know solely because of the way he tries to hide jerking himself off through it. he'd never tell a soul, and feels lucky to have you remain so quiet about it too. it's like a little secret you guys share, and you'd eventually make him feel so safe with the secret that he'd maaaaaaybe start asking you for it from time to time. like, "you don't have to if you don't want to..."
★ heeseung:
you don't ask, he doesn't ask. he forces your face between his cheeks and makes you lick it as a form of humiliation. He doesn't even like it that much, but loves to call you gross because you just....you just do it? like you'd do anything for him if you're willing to eat his ass. suffocate you on it, really. I'm talking on his knees straddling your chest, face fucking you before quickly whipping around with a laugh and planting his hole right on your gasping mouth. *sigh* he's a freak.
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Sub/Dom Dynamic Red (and Green) Flags
Hey gang. Welcome to HiImNotHere’s random ass crack ass post about dynamic red (and green) flags. I’ll do my best to let YOU, the reader know about what (in my opinion) a good and bad dynamic is. Am I the objective truth preaching gospel? Absolutely (the fuck not).
I’m far from perfect, and have been the problem many times before. It is however important to identify these problems and hopefully spread a little knowledge to help others out. So, with my sudden motivation and ability to write and organize things like a STEM Major, I’ll do my best to give at the very least, a general idea of a dynamic.
If you’re still horny scrolling, keep going and come back later if you want. Idk. I’m not your dad.
Disclaimer:
I am in no way shape or form am saying this is objectively a document you should follow to the T. It is just something I wanted to type up for fun, and maybe help some people out. A lot of these lessons have been taught the hard way as I’m half stupid, other half watching paint dry :)
Overview:
What a Dynamic is
General Red (and Green) Flags
Give and Take
Situations That Might Happen
What is a Dynamic?
A dynamic is a way 2 consenting ADULTS interact within a BDSM relationship, scene, or group (kinky mfs). I’ve found it easier to describe as a train ride with the dom being a conductor of the train, determining where to go, how fast, and how long and are responsible for making sure the subs are having a good time :)
So, having said that, it is important to establish a few things before entering a dynamic such as:
Kinks and limits
What you’re looking for
Go and No Go’s (safe words)
Boundries
Kinks and Limits
It’s as it says. Figure out what kinks you’re both, ones that only one of you like and are willing to entertain, and the ones that are off limits absolutely not gonna happen.
For example, I really like degrading, am willing to tolerate some kinks, but will absolutely not do anything involving scat.
But, discuss it with them
What you’re looking for
Establishing what you’re looking for is important to prevent people in the dynamic from getting hurt. One might be looking for fun while the other might be looking for a relationship. I’m sure we all know how that ends up. So, discuss it
Go and No Gos (safe words)
Establishing safe words is super important. I’m aware of some individuals that enjoy it when the safe word is forcefully prevented from being used, but that NEEDS TO BE DISCUSSED.
Safe words are not something to be “challenged” or prevented as it’s supposed to be a way for anyone to get out of an uncomfortable situation.
A fairly common one is the traffic light system with RED YELLOW GREEN (they don’t have yellow)
If you’re meeting someone new and are getting really into it, just slip it in right before you start like “Say red if you ever wanna stop okay?” Or “The safe word is red”
Don’t be a fucking weirdo and disrespect safe words.
Boundries
It’s the dos and don’ts outside of a scene. Sometimes, people wanna keep this and that separate, so respect it. Discuss it beforehand or at some point what you’re comfy and not comfy doing. Pictures and videos are often a boundary that is established. Others might include time when one is available or even simply just being told “hey, don’t call me a whore”.
There are often reasons things happen, and it’s up to them if they wanna tell it or not.
General RED and GREEN flags
Some people for some reason are blind or even color blind when it comes to these things. Maybe it’s their first dynamic or even just think red is a lucky color or something. Regardless, here are some red and green flags for both sides.
Ahem
RED FLAGS
Disrespects or continues when you say “no”.
Pretty self explanatory but a big one. If you say “no” or “not rn” and they keep pressing, it’s a pretty big red flag. If they disrespect your “no” what else might they disrespect?
Hits you up only for horny
Maybe it’s something you’ve already established that you’re okay with. In that case, disregard this.
But in the situations you agreed to go more and they only hit you up to be like “shiii bbg I’m feelin it rn you tryna do smth??”, I have bad news for you.
Its a red flag
Ghosting mid scene
For my long distance people, if you’re both committed to a scene and one starts responding slower and slower I’ve found that it’s one big ass red flag. For the people that do this, I will fight you.
You’ve both started a scene. Please commit to it.
The only exception to this is if both parties agree after it’s been established beforehand that there might be something to cause the responses to be slow.
Mentally unstable (with no attempts or intent to get better)
This is mainly for the subs but still applies to the doms as well. Unfortunately, I’ve seen subs get into dynamics with mentally unstable subs and it causes them to be in a mentally and/or physically abusive relationship. Im sure someone somewhere has a story to share.
I’ve seen it actually work out once but they had a VERY long journey of self improvement.
Some people need to be in a dynamic to have someone hold them accountable. That’s fine. But, those that get into it without the desire at all to improve often use it as an outlet. This makes doms that enter a dynamic for this reason SUPER DANGEROUS
It’s okay to have a few things wrong with you. But, the lack of a desire to improve is one of the biggest red flags out there. Hopefully I worded it well and it makes sense. If it doesn’t, I’ll be in the back of the local Wendy’s and you can shank me
Green Flags
Communicates
I’m sure you’ve noticed it but there’s gonna be a running theme which is discussing and communication. Being able to hold an uncomfy yet needed conversations are extremely important rather than playing the guessing game.
Gives aftercare
After a scene is done, it’s pretty good if they give aftercare. Normally aftercare is a sign that they are interested more in than just horny which is an absolute banger.
Someone you can vibe with
Super vague, but if you’re able to find someone you can give out with, it is extremely nice to have. It is an absolute wonder chatting the night away with someone you can vibe with.
Is named “HiImNotHere1”
Jk lmao
Give and Take
These kinds of dynamics are a give and take. Doms and subs feed into each other to help each other have a good time. However, doms are not kink dispensers and subs are not punching bags to take kinks out on.
The overall goal is for it to be enjoyable for the both of you. So, make sure you both do your best to ensure the other person is having a good time.
Situations that might happen
At some point, things happen where one person can’t continue it or someone fucks up. It happens.
The most important thing is communication. It might be uncomfortable to communicate things but it is SUPER important that you do. Maybe a scene went really bad or something bad triggered. Don’t let it be out there in the air and communicate it to each other to prevent it from happening again.
Wrap up
Did I get lazy at the end? Yes. It’s 4 AM and I have work soon. If there’s any take away, here:
Communicate.
Uncomfortable conversations make strong bonds. Strong bonds lead to super hot sexy times.
Alright ima pass out. Hopefully you learned something cool or whatever. Let me know
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Serene
daryl dixon x fem!reader
summary - ♡ you and daryl go on a run and things dont go entirely as planned....but in a good way
SMUT SMUT SMUT
a/n - ♡ ik this isnt that good i haven't slept and its almost 6 am so i aint editing it anywaysss, im watching the show for the first time rn and i just could NOT resist writing smth for daryl so enjoy!! 🤭
(changed the name cause i realized i forgot to change it so it didn't make sense pls)
"no- god damn it girl gon get us killed out here if you keep lookin round so much" daryl grabbed your wrist to pull you along the muddy trail, nearly falling on your ass from his fast pace. "keep up, quit draggin your feet"
"fuck off man its nice to get out of that damn prison sometimes and see the world even if it is filled with walkers and assholes like you" you snort, pushing forward so you're walking ahead of him. "besides, the slower i walk, the more time we spend together, and i know that you love hanging out with me so much, dont you, D?”
going on runs had become a favorite activity of yours, somehow even with daryl being such a grumpy gus, it was serene. walking through completely empty towns; the opposite of the now packed prison you were living in.
“oh come on, don’t pretend you don't love me” you giggle at daryl's annoyed look. you'd grown somewhat of a crush for daryl in the last months, as much as you wish you hadn't, it's been nice having something to focus on rather than the overwhelmingly loud but silent nights in the prison.
it was the simple head nods as you pass each other, and him asking specifically to take you on runs, always staying in front of you when something goes wrong. those were the things that really fueled this crush, which carol had pointed out to you. you'd honestly always thought there was something going on with those two but when she asked you about how close you and daryl had gotten she assured you they were only best friends.
“ain't got time for your wanderin today girl, lets go-” a twig snaps to your left. “get behind me”
the walker stumbles out from the trees grunting, growling, and drooling toward daryl before he shoots an arrow right into his left eye. not so aware of your surroundings a walker comes out of the trees behind you grabbing onto you, you fight against its hold. just as you get a hand free to reach for your knife, daryl shoots the walker and it falls loudly to the ground.
“-shit” you gasp in big breaths of air. you reach for daryl's arm grabbing hold for stability, “thanks, D.”
“‘course, won't let nothin’ bad happen to you” you practically melt at his words and the vulnerable look in his eyes when he says it, like he's telling you an important secret he's never told anyone else.
you're so close you can feel the heat coming off his body as your eyes move from his to his mouth. never wanting something so bad in your entire life.
he's pulling away before you can even think to move toward him.
“best keep goin ‘fore it gets dark” his words are dismissive, completely ignoring the clear sparks flying between the two of you just seconds ago.
“right, you're right” clearing your throat a bit awkwardly, you speed up so you're walking ahead of him, trying to focus as hard as you can just on the task at hand.
the first few houses you search were pretty much empty save for a can of beans. the next one however had an entire cabinet filled with things you could take back to the prison, but not before you and daryl have a few snacks to refuel for the trip back.
“maybe we should stay the night here? we can hit a few houses on the way back in the morning, it's getting late and i dont wanna be walkin’ back in the dark” you suggest to daryl from the living room of the house.
“‘kay, lets find some blankets n stuff we'll camp out in here” daryl's voice is right behind you when he speaks, startling you from looking at broken picture frames of the family who used to be here.
you managed a makeshift bed on the floor with the few blankets and pillows you found in the bedrooms. you and daryl now laying there staring quietly up at the ceiling.
“were-” daryl starts to say something but stops before he can even get the first word out.
“what is it, D?” you whisper, turning your body so you're laying on your side facing him.
“were you gonna kiss me earlier?” daryl's uncharacteristically hesitant voice whispers into the quiet room.
the air in the room is suddenly thicker than before and the closeness of you and daryl seems almost too close.
“was i- was i gonna kiss you? i mean i don't know you were so close and just you know it's not like i meant t-” you're cut off by daryl suddenly pressing his lips against yours gently, staying unmoving for a few seconds until your brain catches up with you enough for you to kiss back.
the kiss deepens when you reach your hands around his neck to pull him impossibly closer to you, his own hands sliding down from your cheeks to your shoulders to your hips.
“daryl i- i need you,” you whisper against his lips when you pull away a bit for air.
he pulls back farther to look into your eyes.
“you sure ‘bout this?” his voice is genuine, even as his hands are already under your shirt going farther up until he reaches your bra, stilling there while he waits for your answer.
“yes, please daryl” you'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought about this many times. daryle above you while you're begging for him.
the moment the words left your mouth he was sitting you up to pull your shirt over your head, quickly reconnecting your lips with a moan so low it could have been a growl.
daryl pulled away to reach around you and unhook your bra, letting it fall between you.
“fuck,” he sighed, letting his head fall to your shoulder at the sight of how perfectly your boobs fell naturally.
seconds later you were pushing his vest off and pulling his shirt over his head, throwing it across the room and leaning down to kiss over his muscular shoulders. daryl's hands fell to your boobs while you left reddish-purple spots all over his throat and shoulders.
“lemme get these off baby” he was already unbuttoning your jeans when you rose to your knees to help him pull them down off your ass, sitting back on the floor so he could pull them and your shoes completely off. he was feeling up and down your soft legs, the way he was squeezing your thighs making your core tighten around nothing. “so pretty f'me.”
daryl's hands trailed up your legs to the soft cotton of your panties, he groaned when his rough fingertips grazed the wet spot leaking through them.
“lift ya pretty legs honey” he grunts out, when you listen he pulls your panties down your legs. the cool air of the room hitting your wetness makes you whimper quietly. “s'even prettier than i imagined,”
daryl pushes your knees farther apart to get a better look at you before he bring a finger up to graze your wet entrance, sliding it up to press gentle circles against your clit, making you gasp from the stimulation.
“god that feels good, please don't stop” you're whining when he finally pushes two fingers into you, starting a steady pace while keeping his thumb on your clit moving quicker each second. you're an absolute moaning mess below him, your back arching against him.
“y'like that sweetheart? like how m'fingers feel inside you, yea? y’gonna cum f’me baby?” his words are only pushing you closer and closer to the edge, your legs shaking around his hand.
“fuck- shit you're g-” you cut yourself off with a louder moan when he quickens the pace of his fingers, “s’good at this”
“c'mon baby, cum f'me, all over my fingers. thats right, good girl.” his words are what push you over the edge, the filthy words mixed in with his gentle praise has you shaking as you ride the intense waves of your orgasm. “such a good girl f'me”
when your breathing starts to slow back to a normal pace you feel daryl pull his fingers out of you and being them up to his lips, sucking your juices off his own fingers.
“that was- wow” you saw still trying to catch your breath, legs not fully stopped shaking either. before daryl can say anything else you're reaching for his belt to undo it.
“no, s'alright. wanted to make you feel good, go to sleep” he says grabbing your t-shirt and pulling it over your head.
“but-”
“nah if ya really feelin’ up for it, in the mornin’ you can, but we gotta get some sleep tonight” daryl leans over and kisses your forehead and pulls you down to lay on his chest.
and that's exactly how you woke up in the morning, cuddled up on the floor, clothes thrown around the room, hickies everywhere.
#daryl dixon smut#daryl dixon#twd daryl#smut smut smut#the walking dead#idk how to tag this#daryl dixion x reader
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Hi! I love your writing so so much!!
If possible, could you do one where the reader has been working overtime at work and is exhausted, like they've been having headaches and barely sleeping & Frank notices and basically convinces them and helps them to take a break? Thank you!! 💕❤️
KEEP ME COMPANY ’TIL THE END ➵ F. CASTLE
Summary: You’re pushing yourself past your limits for work and Frank intervenes.
Warnings: Stress, mostly fluff, gender neutral reader, language
Word count: 770
Author’s note: Hiiii my loves! I am so sorry for being MIA, this semester is kicking my ass :( Rn it seems like my posts will be a little infrequent because I have sooo many deadlines before Christmas, but I’m gonna try my best!! I have not forgotten about all your requests!! Thank you so much for your patience, thank you also for 900 followers, that’s so wack but I am so grateful <3 Anon, I hope you enjoy this short fic and that you forgive me for being so slow to get this out. Much love!
A brewing headache pinched at your temples and you were painfully aware that every minute you spent staring at your outrageously bright laptop screen only sealed your fate tighter and tighter. It was getting late but you still felt like you had so much to do; like you had barely scratched the surface of all your responsibilities. You had only taken a break to go to the bathroom and reluctantly eat something when Frank had insisted on it, and now the tension from sitting on the couch with your laptop huffing and puffing on your thighs was starting to seep into your shoulders and neck.
Frank didn’t like it, the way you worked yourself to the bone, but he had swallowed down his complaints when you had promised to wrap things up within the hour. Still, you could feel his scrutinizing stare on you from across the couch, his attention on your focused frown rather than the football game he was supposed to be watching. He was itching to say something, to force you away from the suffocating bubble of stress, but he was trying to be patient — though the scratched label of his beer bottle said plenty.
When you winced at the pulsating headache behind your eye, though, he cleared his throat and reached for your laptop.
”Hey! Frank, noooo. I’m not done”, you insisted, trying to get the device back but he was quick to save your document and then slap it closed before you could retrieve it. He angled it behind his back and tutted at you, disapproving of the way you were pushing yourself for the sixth day in a row.
”Nah, sweetheart, I’m tellin’ you, you’re gonna waste away if you don’t take a break. You’ve been at it all day, aight? I want you here with me, not worryin’ about shit”, he argued back, your pout doing nothing to sway him. He always caved in and gave you what you wanted — unless your health and sanity were at stake.
You frowned, a sudden surge of guilt swinging at your chest. ”I guess I’ve been kinda neglecting you…”, you admitted with shame. That had never been your intention, but you couldn’t deny that you had not been a very present partner lately.
Shaking his head, Frank set the beer on the coffee table and took your hand in his own. ”It ain’t about that, darlin’. It’s the fact that this is wearin’ you out. I know you ain’t sleepin’ and I gotta jump through all these hoops to just get you to eat. I’m worried, y’know?” he explained, his tone stern but still warm. He was trying his hardest to be understanding, but he took your well-being too personally to let this newfound routine go on.
You managed a nod and squeezed his hand. ”I know, Frankie, I’m sorry, it’s just… there’s so much to do and I can’t fall behind”, you tried to rationalize your persistent working, and he sighed softly, not out of frustration but to acknowledge the difficult situation.
”I get it, sweetheart. But no one can expect you to be efficient at this hour, aight? You need to rest, too. Yeah?” Frank pointed out, tilting his head to catch your gaze. He was right and you knew it, so begrudgingly, you admitted defeat.
”Okay. I’ll limit myself”, you agreed, and with the concern in his eyes slowly fading, Frank nodded approvingly. He placed the laptop on the table before opening his arms for you, gesturing for you to cuddle up to him. The invitation made you smile and seeing joy on your face for the first time all day got Frank’s lips twitching, too.
You nestled against him and he wrapped you into a cocoon of safety and warmth, hoping to distract you from the stress lingering on your mind. It was hard not to think about all the work you could have been doing, and Frank suspected as much.
”I know it ain’t easy to just turn it off. But you deserve a break, baby. And I’m fuckin’ proud of you for all your effort, but I’ll be proud if you cut back a lil, too”, he spoke up after a moment of just cuddling, and with your heart soaring at his praise, you tilted your head up so you could kiss his jaw tenderly.
”Thank you, Frank. Love you”, you muttered, feeling the exhaustion of the past week creep up on you. Frank noticed, but he was glad — you needed sleep, and he was going to try and help you do it however he could.
”Love you too, sweetheart.”
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I think Cartman hates jewish people and -Kyle- too much to be vulnerable like you've depicted. No matter what level of physical attraction he might feel.
Hi there, thanks for your comment. Unfortunately I wrote a whole-ass novel in response so here's the TL;DR so you don't actually have to read all that: I agree that the comic is OOC but I don't think it's because of Cartman's hatred of Kyle or Jewish people.
Sorry for misusing your message to go on a somewhat loosely related rant but I've been meaning to write this for a while and it came as a convenient excuse lmao _
I agree with you regarding the vulnerability. I don't think Cartman would voice his feelings like that unless (he could claim that) it's a farce (e.g., Jenny Simons, "Cartman Finds Love") or the other person shows interest in him first so he feels safe from rejection (Heidi, initially - not opening that whole can of worms rn lol). For example, he treated his attraction to Patty Nelson as a big secret, apparently not even considering ever confessing to her, and that's most likely because he was expecting the reaction she did end up giving him since, beneath his self-deceit, he's excruciatingly aware of the fact that he's actually not exactly highly regarded by his peers.
It's a lot of work upholding the façade he's build for himself of being this cool, esteemed person and it cracks easily even without direct outside influence (for example when Clyde Frog or Cupid Me insult him) so he really, really doesn't deal with rejection very well. Him being this vulnerable to Kyle specifically and then getting rejected would be absolutely catastrophic for him, so I agree that he wouldn't put himself in that position. However, it's my opinion that the most OOC thing about the comic is the fact that he simply acknowledges that Kyle hates him. I don't actually think he'd just accept that but would instead convince himself that it isn't true ("Kyle has internalized homophobia" or better yet "Kyle doesn't think he's worthy of someone as cool and awesome as me") and then do some crazy shit to try and win him over.
So yeah, you're right: He Would Not Fucking Say That. I don't think his hatred of Kyle and/or Jewish people is the reason he wouldn't, though, as I believe Cartman's feelings towards Kyle and Judaism are a lot more complicated than that. It's not without reason that his relationships with both are such a big part of the show and that people smarter than me have written whole essays on the topic lmao
I feel the need to clarify that I am in no way trying to excuse any of Cartman's antisemitism! I'd just like to voice a few thoughts on its origin and evolution.
Cartman is clearly weirdly obsessed with both Kyle and his religion and obviously they are linked. While I suppose initially it might have been a bit of a chicken-egg situation ("He hates Kyle because he hates Jews" vs. "He hates Jews because he hates Kyle"), I believe originally his antisemitism may have simply been a byproduct of his fascination with the third reich, which itself I think was mostly a result of his enjoyment of envisioning himself as a dictator (i.e. the ultimate authority figure) and as such was actually pretty surface-level - as is evident from the fact that for a long time he didn't seem to fully grasp what exactly Judaism even IS (as shown when he apologizes to Kyle for calling him a Jew or when he uses the term as an insult towards Stan and Kenny). Still, I very much dislike it when people try to downplay his bigotry as naivety. That really doesn't hold any water after very early on in the show, if it ever even did in the first place, since he definitely acts from a place of malice and over time his fixation on the religion seems to have developed into something bigger. He's learnt more about it and it became much more synonymous with Kyle for him (the order of which is also debatable but I of course lean a certain way). At this point in the show I believe it's safe to say that he wouldn't be nearly as obsessed with Judaism if Kyle wasn't Jewish. While Cartman is obviously a bigoted asshole in many ways, he's not nearly as preoccupied with other minority groups as he is with Jews and he has even shown himself to be surprisingly tolerant of homosexuals and disabled people (who, of course, were also heavily persecuted under Nazism).
I really do think that "Jewpacabra" did leave a lasting impact on his character. It's pretty obvious that he was being genuine at the end of of the episode and actually did intent on self-identifying as Jewish from then on (and iirc M&T confirmed as much in the commentary to that episode and explained that they just sort of… forgot about that lol) and then in "Shots" he does claim to be Jewish and while that may have been in an attempt to get a vaccination exemption, the aforementioned commentary makes me believe it may not exclusively be that.
Notably, he specifically calls himself an "Orthodox Jew", which Kyle obviously doesn't seem to be and that ties in nicely with him becoming a rabbi in PC and making the religion his entire personality - because it's not enough to become Jewish: He needs to beat Kyle at being Jewish.
Of course, Cartman never actually stops being antisemitic before the time skip but then "Cupid Ye" implies that that isn't even a fully conscious decision that he can completely control but instead at least partially caused by whatever he has going on mentally. He even actively attempts to counteract it when he decides that it has gone too far. That's my take on the episode, at least. Obviously the whole thing with Cupid Me is kind of messy. No matter what exactly is actually happening there, I do think the his actions here prove that his feelings regarding the matter are more complex than they may initially appear to be.
Though I know it's still a point of contention for many, to me personally it seems pretty clear that him being a rabbi and a family man in PC was authentic and that he wasn't simply messing with Kyle the entire time. However, I find it extremely interesting that Cartman converted BEFORE meeting Yentl so I actually don't see any way in which Kyle didn't have any part in that and as such I don't think he would have ever become a rabbi if Kyle didn't happen to be Jewish. So my personal headcanon is that while Cartman's conversion was indeed directly influenced by Kyle, he actually did end up finding fulfillment in the faith and it ironically helped him let go of his obsession with him (which I think fits the show's style of humor).
To summarize: As a shipper I may be biased but I think that Cartman is a disturbed little boy who grows up to be a disturbed little man who fails to fully understand his feelings towards Kyle and - as an extension of that - the Jewish faith and thus lashes out into extremes regarding it.
#south park#south park meta#sp meta#sp cartman#eric cartman#cw antisemitism#kyman#sp kyman#my thoughts on yaoi#of course the ACTUAL explanation for Cartman's paradoxical stance on Judaism is that it's whatever is funniest at any given moment#but that doesn't make for very interesting meta...
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🤍”Somethin’ stupid”🤍
Pairing : BF!Niki Nishimura x DEPRESSEDreader! (Real) 🎀
Genre : fluff <3 sad af tho idfk what the genre is
WARNINGS : mentions of self harm, depression, anxiety
A/N : SRRY I usually post like once a week and I forgot to this week I think… Idrk I literally have a fucking concussion rn💀 happened bcs lowkey thought I was in a music video and did cartwheels in my room at 3 am and smacked the shit out of my head and then hit my head on the floor and woke up seeing Gojo Satoru shakin ass 💀😜 anyway enjoy yawl😳
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In the car with your boyfriend Niki, heading to the movie theater, the atmosphere was perfect –soft music, and a feeling that made life worthwhile. It had been a month since you’d seen him. These small moments you had with Niki made your life worth living. Most of the time he was busy or away for his idol duties and you’d miss him so badly. You would wonder if him being away for so long would end up with you both breaking up or you both falling out of love. The thought always made you feel nauseous and overwhelmed. Your overthinking would get the best of you sometimes, and you would result to self harm. Niki had no idea though and you never planned on telling him.
"Y/n, you might want to ditch the hoodie; it's getting pretty warm in here. You're sweating," your boyfriend chuckled, casting a glance your way. "No kidding, it's hot as hell." You sighed wiping your forehead with your sleeve. As you started to pull down the zipper your hoodie, the memories of your scars made you hesitate. “Actually I’m fine. I can handle it.” You reassured Niki. “Huh? Don’t risk a heat stroke, take it off,” he insisted, concern etching his face. “No I’m literally gonna be fine trust me.” You countered, zipping your hoodie back up quickly. “Y/n. It’s the middle of summer and you’re wearing a hoodie darling. You might wanna take it off.” Niki suggested, a puzzled look was painted on his face. “I’m gonna be alright trust me.” You gave Niki a sweet smile, trying to look unsuspicious. “Whatever you say Y/n.” Your boyfriend sighed.
You and Niki finally arrived at the movie theater. You checked in, got tickets, got snacks and headed to your movie. The air-conditioned theater promised relief from the summer heat, but your hoodie remained a steadfast companion.
Inside the cool, dimly lit theater, you found your seats, the contrast between the chilly air and your hoodie creating a cozy bubble. The movie previews flickered on the screen, and the scent of buttered popcorn filled the air.
Niki leaned over and whispered, "Are you sure you won't overheat in there?..”
“It’s cool in here Niki! I’m fine.” You softly giggled. The movie began, and you got so into it that the hoodie wasn't on your mind anymore. The plot grabbed your attention, and the cozy warmth just blended into the background.
Midway through the movie, Niki gently reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. Your initial reaction was surprise; you were aware of Niki's habit for tracing his fingers along your palms and wrists. Softly pushing his hand away, you met his gaze. He looked absolutely ethereal in the dim theater lighting.
"Do you not want to hold hands?" Niki whispered, pouting with a hint of sadness.
"I do, just... not right now," you replied. Niki's worried expression prompted him to ask, "Is there something wrong?"
You hesitated before responding, "No, no, I just... don't worry about it."
Your words, though intended to reassure, unintentionally stabbed at Niki's heart. His love for you was profound, and while he knew he could be clingy, he never imagined it could "annoy you." The worry in his eyes lingered as the movie played on.
You both went back to the apartment after the movie. The car ride was quiet because you pretended to be asleep, avoiding a talk about why you didn't hold hands. Niki spent the entire ride overthinking what he might have done wrong.
“Niki. I’m gonna go take a shower.” You said, walking off to your room to get your clothes. “Oh okay. I’ll make you some tea for when you get out.” He replied.
When you stepped in the shower, the warm water stung your fresh cuts. You held your wrists and winced in pain, small tears ran down your cheeks. Staring at your wrists, you wondered how you could be so stupid. You regret doing it , because now Niki might see them. The thought made you softly cry. Thank God the shower water was loud enough to cover up your soft muttering and sighs.
After your shower, you returned to the kitchen. Niki was busy cooking dinner and brewing tea for both of you, a delightful surprise that warmed your heart. Soft music played from his speaker next to the stove.
Curious, you asked, "What are you making?" Sitting at the table, he chuckled and replied, "Pasta, I’m trying out new things." The song changed to your favorite, "Somethin’ Stupid” by Frank Sinatra. Excitedly, you exclaimed, "Niki, you added my favorite song to your playlist!"
With a smile, he admitted, "I really like this song. Isn't it your favorite?" You giggled, "Duh! I play it all the time in your car." Niki turned off the stove and approached you. "Is the food ready?" you inquired. "Not yet, but how about we dance?" he suggested, extending his hand with a gentle smile, eyes filled with admiration.
In the soft glow of the dim kitchen light, you and Niki began to slow dance. The soothing melody of the song filled the air as he held you close. The ambiance was warm, and the subtle scent of dinner in the making lingered.
Niki led with gentle grace, swaying to the music with you in a tranquil dance. The rhythmic steps mirrored the easy connection between you two, the worries of the day fading away in the embrace of the moment. His hand rested on the small of your back, fingers delicately entwined with yours. As you swayed together, his other hand found its place on your waist, the closeness allowing you to feel the comforting warmth of his touch. The subtle aroma of the cooking dinner heightened the sensory experience.
Niki's gaze, brimming with stars and admiration, locked onto yours as he gently took your hand in his. However, reality snapped you back, and a sudden fear of him discovering your self infliction made you pull away. You pulled your hand away from his gently. Niki stopped dancing with you, his eyes locked onto yours with concern. "I'm sorry for asking, but why don't you want me to hold your hand?" he inquired.
A tremor ran through you, fear intensifying. Taking a deep breath, you hesitated before admitting, "I... I just," struggling to find the right words. The fear of Niki discovering your scars weighed heavy on your mind.
After a moment, you decided to face it. "Actually, you know what? Hold hands with me," you said, mustering a smile and intertwining your fingers with his. It was a fleeting decision, hoping that the dance would end before he’d notice. He brought a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Your hair smells good.” He nestled his nose into your hair. The song made the moment vulnerable. You found yourself forgetting about all your worries once again. He brought his lips to your wrist, you didn’t even catch it either. You were too busy humming the melody of the song into his chest. Niki pressed his lips to your wrist. He quickly pulled back and examined if, squinting his eyes. You suddenly realized what he was doing. You pulled away from his arms and held your wrist. His face looked indescribable. Worried, sad, confused all at the same time. The song had stopped already, and the room fell silent. "Y/n," Niki uttered softly, his voice carrying a mixture of concern and care. Before he could say more, your lips began to quiver, and tears welled up in your lashes. A gentle cascade of tears spilled from your eyes.
Niki, swift in his response, hurried over and enveloped you in a warm embrace. His chin rested on your head, and his hand traced soothing circles on your back. Anxiety gripped you like a constricting fog, the weight on your chest almost suffocating. Tears stained Niki's once-white shirt, but he paid it no mind.
"It's okay. I'm not upset," he reassured, planting a tender kiss on the top of your head. "My poor, beautiful girl. When did you do that?" he asked, lifting your chin to meet his gaze. Your hyperventilating made it challenging to speak, rendering you silent in the vulnerability of the moment.
Your hyperventilation began to subside, allowing you to regain some composure. "I..was just.. overthinking," you finally managed to admit, your voice still shaky.
Niki's expression softened, a mixture of empathy and a determination to be there for you. “Was it because of me?” he whispered, his thumb brushing away a tear that lingered on your cheek.
You hesitated, the weight of your emotions pressing against your chest. "Yes?... no," you stumbled over your words, struggling to articulate the whirlwind within. "I just miss you so much when you're gone for so long. I feel so lonely again. You're... you're my only light, and the only one in my life who actually makes me happy. I can't stand it when you're away."
Niki's gaze held a depth of understanding as he gently cradled your face. "Y/n, I didn't realize. I'm here for you, always. I’ll bring you with me next time, and the next one after that. I promise my love,” he reassured. His words soothed the ache within your heart. “I’ll be back,” Niki gently pulled his body away from yours. “I’m gonna go get bandages from the bathroom. Sit down,” he kissed your cheek before leaving the room.
When Niki returned, you couldn't help but chuckle at the state of his shirt, soaked with tear and snot stains – undeniably gross. Standing in front of you, he gently took hold of both your injured wrists, his eyes carrying a mix of hurt and pain. Soft elastic bandages in hand, he began to wrap your wrists with a delicate touch.
As he worked, you noticed a subtle glisten in his eyes. His fingers traced along the palms of your wrists, a silent acknowledgment of shared pain. You looked up at him with teary eyes and saw the vulnerability in his gaze.
"Promise me you'll never do this again," he pleaded, his voice cracking with emotion. Small tears escaped his eyes, tracing down his cheeks. Overwhelmed, you apologized, "I... I'm sorry. I promise. I'm so sorry."You rose from your chair, embracing Niki tightly, the shared pain and promise binding you together in that moment. “I love you so much darling you have no idea. To know that you’ve been hurting yourself like this.. it kills me.” He whispered softly. “I love you too, Niki.” You placed a soft kiss to his chin.
"Do you wanna finish making dinner, and then we can cuddle after?" you proposed.
As Niki's sniffles gradually subsided, a tender smile graced his face, the corners of his eyes still dampened. Niki's smile widened as he looked down at you. "Of course," he agreed, his head tilting slightly. In that gentle tilt, he closed the distance, leaning in for a long, reassuring kiss.
Together, you continued with the meal, the kitchen filled with the comforting aroma of food and music. You showed Niki more songs you liked and he added them to y’all’s new slow dancing playlist.
As you placed the finishing touches on the meal, Niki slid his arms around you, pulling you into a warm embrace. "Smells amazing in here, thank you for helping me darling.”
The conversation during dinner went smoothly. You both talked about stories of the past and dreams for the future. Niki's eyes, still holding a glimmer of tenderness, locked onto yours, reinforcing the unspoken understanding that this moment, amidst shared laughter and a table filled with love, was truly special.
Cuddling on the couch, the outside world faded away, leaving room for the intimacy of shared comfort. “You’re so pretty y/n” Niki admired your facial features. The smell of his fresh Basil and mandarin cologne brought you comfort. You threw your leg over his and snuggled closer onto him. He could feel your soft breaths on his neck. Niki peppered kisses on your temples. He was humming a gentle tune to one of your favorite songs. The moment made you realize how lucky you were to be with someone like him.
A/n : erm I literally fell asleep writing this w my hard ass fit on and makeup bruh my skin is breaking out hella someone come kill me. Srry for the amount of mistakes btw I did not read over it 🤓🤓 I raw dogged this it might be shitty Also I hope y’all liek:3 i put my whole venussy into this. Xoxo💋💋
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