#have you ever been dysphoric and also “what if I’m actually not trans” at the same time

[wiphur]

They Wouldn't Understand

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Ron Weasley x trans masc! Slytherin! Pureblood! Reader // slight! Molly Weasley x platonic! Reader

Pronouns: he/him

Warnings:  internalized and externalized homophobia/transphobia, dysphoria, ABUSE, lowkey torture, use of dead name (dead name will be used as Tamsyn to try and prevent any mention of your own dead name!), large (but also kinda rushed) buildup, nsfw joke at the end (last two lines), secret relationship (and it being exposed)

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: Posted from my old account. Sorry for the spam, I just wanted to go ahead and post all of these fics from my old account

Nothing was okay anymore. He felt fine, maybe even safe, at school. But now? It was summer. School was over. That meant he had to go back to his house. To those “parents” of his that always strived to make his life a living hell.

No one even knew how bad it was. As his friends waved to him, and as his boyfriend (albeit in secret, but they were still dating) sent him a small smile while he walked over to his colossal family, the gravity of everything fell onto his shoulders. Nobody knew how bad it was. Hell, most people didn’t even know he was who he was. Only a few people knew he was trans or into men. Both of which were frowned upon. 

He wasn’t normal by any means, but these two struck him deeply. Why couldn’t he follow in his parent’s footsteps? Why was his entire life against the people he was supposed to love? Why wasn’t he a she?

Those thoughts rattled in his mind as he left the train station, moving to grab hold of the house elf’s hand. His parents didn’t even bother to show up. Typical, honestly. He couldn’t remember the last time he had actually been picked up from the station by his parents. Only by the house elf. 

Briefly, he realized that he was definitely not going to be perceived well at home. His boyfriend had loaned him so masculine clothes to help with dysphoria, and he couldn’t just change out of them on the train, so he was forced to disapparate to his house in the masculine clothes with a binder on and a semi-realistic looking packer that was just a pair of socks in his pants. This was not going to turn out very well, he already knew it.

The loud crack! had been mostly ignored. No one came to see him or greet him at the door. Almost with a goal in mind (to change out of the masculine clothes into something hopefully more feminine but not dysphoric-so), he hurried to the stairs. He was almost there, stepping onto the first step when his mother walked into the entryway.

“And where do you think you’re going, young lady?” Even after being used to the words, he flinched. A year at school where people called him a boy had changed his mindset ever so slightly. “We have a dinner party tonight.” He didn’t turn around, afraid of her reaction to his appearance. “Tamsyn.” She said, her voice becoming more stern as she drew closer. “What in Merlin’s name are you wearing?”

He panicked briefly, praying there wasn’t an indication of whose clothes he had on in the fabric, or design, or even the tag. “Nothing, Mother, just going to change from my school clothes.” 

She tsked slightly, “Tamsyn, you know it's rude to not look at someone while having a conversation. Turn around.” He hesitated. “I will not repeat myself.” He followed the instructions timidly. He heard her gasp. “What is this?!” She seemed to be enraged. She called for her husband as tears gathered in his eyes and fear gathered in his chest. 

As soon as his father came out, he knew he was done for. His father’s eyes scanned his body, narrowing his eyes at the almost non-existent chest and the very existent bulge in his pants. “Tamsyn? What is this?”

A sudden wave of courage passed over him as he spoke, “I- uh, I’m trans! I’m a boy, not a girl. My name isn’t Tamsyn-”

Laughter cut him off. “You? A boy? You are the farthest thing from a boy!” His mother laughed, “When you were pulled out of me, the doctor yelled that you were a girl. Trust me, we would have been better off with a boy, but we had you. Go upstairs and change. One of your fancy dresses. Our daughter will not be embarrassing us tonight.”

The courage was still present. While he knew it was a horrible idea, he spoke again anyway. “No! I’m not going to be your stupid puppet! I’m not a girl. I am a boy. There’s nothing you can do to change that fact!” 

A sudden wave of anger coursed through his parent’s face. “You had better watch what you’re saying, girl. Or you’ll be in a lot of pain.”

He stood his ground, only barely trembling in fear. “You can’t change this. I am a boy-”

The shout of a curse almost made him freeze in total fear, however the spell moved faster, forcing him to the ground as he screamed in pain. Complete agony and pain washed over him, wave after wave. He was crying and screaming, his voice hoarse. He had never expected his parents to go this far at all! What was he thinking? His parents were right! How could he think he’s anything more than a pathetic little girl?

After a few moments, the pain waves stopped. He shivered from the pain, trembling in fear. “So, dear, had enough? Gonna go change into the most beautiful and girly dress you own? The bright pink one should be good.” His father almost taunted.

“Oh, no, no. She can’t wear that one! You’re going to wear that new one I bought you.” There was a twinkle of hatred in her eyes. “The real revealing one. That way, you can see all of your feminine traits. Maybe we’ll get you a husband tonight. The Malfoys and Zabinis are coming tonight.” 

The urge to throw up was overwhelming. With little disagreement, he nodded to his mother and turned to walk up the stairs. When he reached his room, a house elf was already there. She gave him a sad look. “Mitsi is sorry, Master.” She murmured. She helped him change, as pain flared every time he moved. She gestured for his packer and his binder. “Mitsi was instructed to take these and burn them.” She said sullenly. Choking on emotion, he handed her the objects that helped him through so much. The only things that truly made him feel like a boy. Right in front of his face, she snapped and the things burst into flames. 

Without much disagreement, he climbed into the elegantly made, yet extremely provocative, dress. Mitsi beside him nudged him into a chair. “Mitsi was instructed to give you makeup.” He looked at his reflection as he was transformed into someone who was not him. As he was transformed into someone he was “supposed” to be.

Once Mitsi was done, she left the room. As soon as she left, tears welled in his eyes. He refused to let a single one fall, in fear of it ruining his makeup, or in fear of his mother seeing his ruined makeup.

His name was called and he took a deep, straggly breath. He urged himself to walk down the steps and into the main hall, where his parents were greeting the families who had come for dinner. 

“Ah, finally. Mr and Mrs Malfoy, Mr and Mrs Zabini, this is our lovely daughter, Tamsyn.” While the adults took a look at him in interest, their children looked at him with utter disbelief. 

“Pardon me, Mrs L/N,” Blaise Zabini spoke up, eyeing his classmate oddly, “I was under the impression you had a son? I wasn’t aware you had a daughter.”

With a forced laugh, his mother responded, shooting him a deadly glare. “I suppose you must be mixing us up with another family. I apologize, but I’ve only given birth to a girl.” The adults shared a laugh, as if it was some kind of joke. Draco and Blaize gave each other a confused look, speaking through their eyes. Y/N avoided their gazes as best as he could. 

Dinner was a mess, and by the end of it, his parents had a pleasant surprise for him.

���Well, I suppose the news should be announced.” His mother started, dinging a spoon on her glass. She smiled at the families. “The adults have been talking about the best move for all of us, and we have decided that Tamsyn is to be married to Blaize once of age!” The drop of cutlery startled his mother. His hand was empty as he stared at his plate. He was in a happy relationship. This was not supposed to happen. This was wrong! All of this was wrong!

“No.” The word came out before he could even stop it. “No, I refuse to marry him.” He gave a slightly apologetic look to Blaize and he returned the gesture with a nod, telling him he understood.

“This is not up to you, darling.” His mother said, trying to keep her anger at bay. “This is the best solution for our family.”

“This is the best solution for you! This has nothing to do with me!” Tears fell from his eyes, now. All of those pent emotions he had been feeling were coming out tenfold. “You keep trying to ruin my life! Well, congrats. You’ve succeeded. You don’t have any right to tell me who I am or who I have to marry! I’ll shout it from the rooftop if I can!” He stood up, climbing onto his chair. “ I am Y/N! I am a boy and I can choose who I want to marry! You have no control over me anymore.”

The anger in his parent’s eyes was monumental, not even describable. The guests left fairly quickly after that, claiming they were ashamed of how the night went. That left his parents in even more immeasurable amounts of anger.

As soon as the Malfoys and Zabinis left the property, the sound of the loud crack! echoing through the house, they turned towards him. “Have you any idea what you’ve just done?” His father’s voice was near silent. A terrifying edge to his tone.

“You’ve cost us everything.” His mother continued, stepping towards him and slapping him across the face with enough force to throw him to the floor. “You’ve ruined our name!”

The silence after the final shout was broken by screams as the cruciatus curse was thrown in the situation again. Again and again. He felt like he was on the brink of death. The pain was agonizing and he wanted to give up. He truly did. But he couldn’t let himself die. Not from these people. After they stopped (something about not being able to kill him because that would tarnish their reputation even more), they practically waltzed away from his agonizing pain. He was numb, but also felt so much pain. His body was confused. He couldn’t tell anything. 

He was surprised to feel a hand fit into his. He glanced up to see Mitsi. She gave him a small nod, “Mitsi takes you to the friend from the letter house.” She had to have meant Ron. There was no one else sending letters his way.

Within moments, he was outside the door of the Burrow. Mitsi was gone as soon as she had appeared. With the last remaining strength he had, he knocked as loud as he could. He hoped someone would hear, despite it being late. Sure enough, as his eyes fluttered shut, he heard steps making their way to the door.

When he woke up, he was expecting a lot of pain. Well, a lot more pain. He was sore and it hurt to move, but he wasn’t in excruciating pain like he had been when he showed up at the Burrow. The Burrow… His eyes widened and he forced himself into a sitting position. His head spun and his head fell back again. He groaned, earning the attention of someone from the other room.

“Oh, dear me! She's awake!” A woman mumbled to herself. “Dear, do you know where you are?” He nodded, but hissed at the feeling. “That's good, dear. Do you know who I am?”

“Mrs Weasley, I presume.” He muttered. She nodded.

“Alright, one more question then I’ll get you some stew. What happened?”

It took a moment to even realize what happened. What had happened? He was struck many times. Too many times to count. “The curse.” He murmured.

Molly gasped, “Oh my, do you mean the pain curse?” He nodded numbly. “Oh, who would do such a thing?”

“My parents.”

She looked furious for a moment, “Oh, Godric! That’s horrendous!” She paused for a moment. “Sorry, dear, let's get you out of these clothes. They’re filthy!” He glanced down, noticing the sweat stains and blood and tear stains on the corset and the dress itself. “I’m sure my daughter has-”

“No!” The word came out of him with more fear than he had expected. “Please, no. I- I’m not a girl.” He seemed to almost be convincing himself.

Molly paused for a moment before nodding, “Ahh. Let’s see then. You look about Ron’s stature. Let's get some of his clothes, alright?” He nodded, extremely grateful for the reaction she gave. It was only a plus to be in the comfort of his boyfriend’s clothes. Speaking of, where was he?

“Mrs- Mrs Weasely?” He asked when she returned with a pair of loose fitting pajamas. “Where is everyone?”

“Oh, so you know the whole family, eh? They’ll be home soon, dear. They just went to play some Quidditch with an old family friend. Been gone for the last two days. Should be back sometime today.” Just as she said that, the pair heard a loud whooping noise from outside. “Or, perhaps, they’re here now.” She closed a curtain that was surrounding the couch he laid on, which he had just noticed was there. “I’ll make sure they don’t disturb you at all.”

“Wait- Can- Can I see Ron?”

She blinked in confusion, “I suppose. Are you friends with him from school? Gosh, I thought you had graduated! What year are you in?”

“Same year as Ron, ma’am.”

“Oh, goodness me!” She seemed to have to leave to collect her thoughts, so she just left. He closed his eyes, imagining the things Ron would say when he saw him. Perhaps he’d be pissed that he was there? Ron was always so secretive about their relationship. Or perhaps he’d be joyous? Confused? Maybe, and he hoped this was true, maybe concerned? 

It didn’t take long to figure out. The curtain shuffled aside and someone stepped in. He didn’t open his eyes to find out for sure, but he had a pretty good clue when he heard a quiet gasp.

“Angel?” Ron muttered quietly. “What- What happened to you?”

His eyes finally opened as Ron leaned beside him. “My parents finally found out I’m trans.” Fury lit up in his eyes. “They also didn’t like how I refused to marry Zabini.”

“Why? Why didn’t you just marry him? Then you wouldn’t be here like this!” Ron mumbled.

“Because I love you, my love. You are supposed to be my happily ever after.”

“It can’t be a happily ever after without you being alive and yourself.” Ron looks at his boyfriend’s eyes, seeing a deeper feeling in them. “You don’t believe them, right?” 

“What?”

He leaned closer to press a kiss to his forehead, “Your parents. You don’t believe them when they say you’re a girl, right? You are the manliest man I know. You are pure man.”

Y/N laughed quietly, “Yeah, okay.”

“No, I mean it. Like a huge macho-man. Big muscles and you can eat a whole ton because that's just something boys can do, is eat a lot of food-”

He laughed louder this time, alerting the rest of the family. “Stop! You know that’s not how it works!”

“Sure, but it made you laugh.” His laughter continued as he pulled Ron up into a kiss. When they pulled away, Ron leaned his forehead on his boyfriend’s. “I don’t understand what you’re going through. But I know it's hard. I just want you to know that you are my boyfriend. Hear that? You're my boyfriend. I love you.” It was the first L-word to be spoken in the relationship.

“Ron, I- I love you too.”  His eyes drooped, ready to put him into a lulling sleep.

“Sleep well, Angel. Okay? I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He smiled slightly, closing his eyes and getting comfortable, hissing softly over some bruises. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

Once he was sure his boyfriend was asleep, Ron left the curtained room. His eyes quickly fell upon the rest of his family as they stared at him. He blinked in surprise, not expecting them all to be there (he was only expecting Fred and George- maybe even Harry or Ginny).

“Uh, yeah, I’m gay.” Ron said awkwardly. 

“Kinda gathered that, mate.” Fred quipped.

“Yeah, just a bit late.” George responded with a subtle laugh. “Why didn’t you tell us earlier?”

He shrugged, “Me and Y/N were keeping it under wraps, so we decided to keep the fact that we’re both gay a secret too. If his family found out, well you see what happened. “

His family nodded. They were all silent until Harry clapped his hands together. “Okay, how long have you been together? Have you had a first anything? Kiss? I love you?”

George and Fred supplemented an example simultaneously, “time?” 

“You’re sick.”

[jacksdinonuggets]

Hi! I'm a HUGE fan of your gender bent trans Vaggie AU on your main blog and was wondering if you've ever considered doing a regressor Vicky AU/one-off story?

Idea I have: Charlie changes Vicky for the first time and he's very anxious because he's never been changed before and is nervous about Charlie needing to see his "down there" while changing him since he's not biologically male, so Charlie reassures him that he doesn't care about what he sees "down there" and he's still his baby boy no matter what?

Challenging Changes

Summary: the idea you gave me, thank you!

Notes: I might have to start writing some little gender bent trans vaggie oneshots

“Alright, you ready to have your first regression?” Charlie said, excitedly. Vickie had expressed a couple days ago that he would like to try age regression to help with some of his dysphoric and mentally taxing days. Charlie was very ecstatic to help out. He loved to show Vickie how much he loved him and this could be an opportunity to. So he had gone out and got a bunch of Littlespace stuff for him that he wanted. Vickie was too nervous to go out and get them with Charlie, so as a solution, they facetimed so he could still pick out the stuff he wanted without actually being there in person. 

“Mhm, I’m just a little nervous,” Vickie responded. Trying new things could be very difficult for him.

“It's okay, I'm not gonna force you to regress.” Charlie told him, “All we need to do now is get you changed. I’ve already got your toys and friendly baby stuff for you out,” 

Vickie squeezed Charlie’s hand a little harder. He had taken an online test a couple days before to figure out his age range. He didn’t expect to get one of the lowest age ranges, 0-2 years old. His test results also came with tons of advice for a caregiver taking care of him. One of the words of advice was to get him some diapers/nappies. It was embarrassing but Charlie said it was better to have and not need than need it and not have it. So they bought some. But at least he got to pick out the print. He really liked the teddy bear print.

“You okay, sweetie?” Charlie asked.

“Y-yeah, I just… I don’t want you to think of me as more of a girl since I don’t have the right parts down there…” Victor said. He wasn’t normally self-conscious about his down-there but it would be his boyfriend’s first time seeing it and he was worried that he wouldn’t be comfortable changing someone who wasn’t a real boy.

“Oh, honey… I don’t care about what you have in your pants. You’re still my baby boy, no matter what. And you’re a very cute baby boy too~” He teased him, ruffling his hair. It made Vickie smile. 

“But are you sure you’re comfortable with it?” He asked.

“I’m fine with it, Vic. I’m just changing a little baby~”

Vickie smiled, feeling a little more confident.

“O-okay, I think I’m ready then,” He told him.

“Alright, sweetheart, let me grab the changing pad and powder,” Charlie stood up and rolled the changing pad onto the bed and patted it, gesturing for Vickie to lay down. The fallen angel laid down and was soon handed a stuffed bear and pacifier slipped into his mouth. He started sucking on it, the plastic shield in his peripheral making him feel really small. Just like a baby. This must’ve been what regression felt like. 

Before he even knew it, he was in a white fluffy nappy with a few teddy bears and alphabet blocks as the print on the landing area. He giggled, feeling quite comforted by it. Charlie lifted him up and held him.

“Is someone feeling little now~” He said, booping his nose. Vickie nodded, holding his lavender plush bear close to his chest.

“That’s great! Now, what would you like to do first?”

[he11fireclubtmarch]

for some advice on the whole trans masc eddie thing , i think if it’s something you plan to do all - you should make it a permanent part of his canon or don’t do it all. it just feels kind of odd in a way to decide to make it only a verse or a “sometimes” thing. i don’t know how to explain it in a way that makes sense but idk. i just really feel like it’s something that should be apart of his character if you want it to be but if you’re afraid to fully commit to it then i think you shouldn’t have it be a thing at all. being trans isn’t just a “sometimes” thing irl - does it make sense what i’m saying at all? i’m not trying to hate or make you feel weird or anything i’m just being honestly. also giving people the option to have him pre or post op also kinda gives odd vibes, & treating post op like he’s “basically not even trans” (i know that’s not how you worded it just that’s how it feels) feels very weird. like idk i don’t think you’re intending any of this but it feels very odd & kinda off vibes & idk transphobic kinda? esp since you’re considering the people who might be uncomfortable with him being trans which like - i’m sorry but if they are & you decide to do this, then they should just unfollow. like … idk if any of this is making sense but this is all just coming across a way i don’t think you’re intending to but i just think you should make him transmasc if you want & have it be a permanent part of your canon, across all verses & not just be one verse or only sometimes. & don’t give people the pre or post op option, so they can feel like he’s “normal”. decide how you want him to be & they can take what they get. & don’t let the transphobic/uncomfortable people have a space on your blog, if they really have a problem w it they can leave. this isn’t me trying to tell you how to run your blog or trying to come off as a hater i’m just trying to show you how things might be coming across & trying to offer some advice to fix that - anyways i wish you a good day & hope you figure this all out

[[Sorry it took me a minute to actually respond to this cuz I started crying lol. I'm a big baby. I never meant to come across that way, especially as someone in transition myself. I would never want to come across as transphobic in any way, shape or form. This whole discussion was to see what the reactions would be if I made that a main part of Eddie's storyline. and the pre op/post op was for storyline purposes or things of that nature, not for him to come across as "normal". Since when has Eddie ever been "normal"? This was a discussion for my comfort while at the same time trying to be understanding to those that I write with. And yes, as I had said multiple times in that post before I deleted it...I was also scared which was why I had it in it's own separate verse originally. I can't help that I have anxiety and with all due respect this is still my blog so if I have a full storyline for my muse like this or I have it as a side verse then it should be my decision. Though again I apologize if my wording came across wrong. If you need to unfollow then please do so, I'm not here to hate on anyone. I am not here to cause drama. I am here to write my muse as I see fit and express myself as I see fit. I find it kind of insulting to have it explained to me as "being trans isn't a sometimes thing" like I don't know that???? I spend every day of my life currently in a body that makes me dysphoric. That is not a SOMETIMES THING. THAT IS A I WAKE UP IN THIS BODY EVERY DAY KIND OF THING SO I KNOW HOW THAT PART FEELS. I hope you have a good day as well. I am going to go try to stop crying now and pick up the pieces of my day. Thank you. I'll take what was said into consideration if I decide to ever bring this subject up again. ]]

[grayrro]

Finished Blue Eye Samurai. Some thoughts, especially on the trans allegory

I actually really expected to like this a lot, so I’m a little bummed that I didn’t actually love it like I wanted to but have complicated feelings about it

If you’re trans masc and dysphoric, I recommend skipping some scenes because you definitely get a full eyeful of Mizu. Which, yeah, a lot of that basically felt like, look! She’s a woman!! Not a man! She’s got breasts and everything

(More on this under the cut + major spoilers)

And if you combine that with the “official” story where the mother who raised her forced her to always “look like a boy” because the “bad men will be looking for a girl”, you get the impression that she’s a cis woman who was forced to be a man for survival. Except I just don’t see that, personally. Just seeing it from a trans perspective—heck, even a cis one—where is the dysphoria? If she was a woman, we don’t really ever see her distressed about dressing as a boy and looking like one. We don’t see her really mourning the loss of her hair or even trying to explore her femininity (appearance-wise) when she begins to hit puberty. You don’t see her comparing herself to other girls and seeing what she “could have had”

Nah, when they start developing breasts, they start binding with bandages and that’s such a trans masc media staple you can’t help but snort. When Mizu gets a husband and becomes a wife, you don’t even see her use that newfound freedom to explore “finally being a woman”. You don’t see her awe at her new silhouette with the more feminine hairstyle and kimono. The most you see is her trying to learn to cook (which, still, is a stretch since that is more her trying to fulfill wife duties), letting down her hair, and having sex with a man with her tits out and all (more of the tits out, frankly, but how much of that is her being a woman vs the show’s addiction to showing boobs).

Also, while you do eventually see Mizu as a “wife”, as properly as she can be, I can’t help but think it looks so… awkward. On her. With the odd-looking makeup and the still-masculine-looking torso covered by a feminine kimono, I can’t help but think she resembles many of my butch and trans masc friends who have been forced into makeup and a dress. Who lower the cinch on their waist down to their hips or flatten their chest to emulate a more masculine silhouette until it looks a little goofy, and like you’re forcing a square peg into a round hole. And that Mizu looks infinitely more comfortable in their own skin as a very male-passing rogue samurai. But maybe I’m just projecting hard

But laying all these side-by-side make it a pretty confusing picture. Freaking Nimona was a more straightforward trans allegory and the character in question is not even human

If I had to conclude anything, though, just based on my opinion, I wouldn’t say Mizu is cis. But maybe not strictly a trans man either. While they do bind, it’s not suggested to be because of any dysphoria reasons—in fact it might be pure practicality. I mean, imagine posing as a man with your chest out in full view or doing all those epic fights without a sports bra. Basically, agreed with other posts that Mizu is probably just very disconnected to gender. Man or woman, they don’t care. Revenge comes first, after all. Gender crisis is further down the ladder of priorities

[eldritch-hall-asylum]

have Jack and Jill ever switched places considering they’re identical twins? what was the greatest thing they achieved by doing so? or the craziest thing they’ve done while pretending to be one another? what’s the funniest reaction they’ve gotten from people not knowing they were identical twins?

also, i’m curious, as well, has/will Jill ever gotten revenge on Isaac for making her baby brother cry? how would she get her revenge (*Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood plays faintly*)

just as a little note, i like to think that Jill found out she was trans in her twenties or-so. it was when she tried on one of Jack’s dresses and felt happier than she has ever felt that she knew she was a woman. and Jack immediately took her as his big sister when she told him. he’s been her biggest supporter throughout her entire transition and dysphoric days :3

also they are autism (Jack) and ADHD (Jill) solidarity

Jill and Jack definitely switched places as kids.

The best thing they managed to do was swap places in the middle of a play they were in and nobody could tell.

Funniest reaction? Uh... not too sure.

Jill definitely got Isaac back for making her brother cry.

See, Isaac had this porcelain dog, yeah? It meant the world to him.

And Jill went with Jack to help him pick up his stuff from Isaac's place. You know, as a sort of protection.

Anyway...

Yeah, Isaac reported it missing.

Coincidentally, Jill had a neon pink porcelain dog in her apartment about a month later.

She actually realised that she was trans the same day that Jack broke up with Isaac. She waited a couple weeks to come out though.

[gibbearish]

just took your uquiz lol! about being trans! what do you think it could mean if I wanted to be a guy but didn’t really mind being who i am? it’s not even any guy, it’s like specific guys (like actors,. I don’t know). Sometimes people say they’d rather be an ugly guy than a good looking woman, and I couldn’t relate less. Part of the reason I’m so scared about this (and it’s a big part) is that I’m just so terrified of being ugly. I’m finally conventionally attractive after years of trying to be, and now I’m scared I won’t be anymore. I’m wondering if maybe the first time i thought i was trans i went about it the wrong way (i was obsessed w masculinity, cut my hair, things like that). And is it even worth it doing anything about it if I’m not dysphoric? I’m also very scared about the finding someone to love me and also losing all my friends and family thing (100% will happen). This whole maybe not ever finding a guy to love me thing is really bothering me, too. You can ignore this I’m just venting a lot. Sorry.

hey friend! i think it could help out a lot if you looked into the idea of gender euphoria. the quick description essentially is the opposite of dysphoria, where rather than "being x makes me feel bad," its "being x makes me feel good". there's been a lot of discourse about this over the years and you will still find people out there who will be shitty, but as someone with dysphoria, i have always fallen firmly on the "you do not need dysphoria to be trans" side of things. i believe that if it makes you happy to be a specific way, you shouldnt have to hate being the way you are to be allowed to pursue that. i dont have to turn down a cheesecake just because i don't hate poundcake, suffering is not a requirement to get to the things that make you happy.

i will also say, to me it does sound like a lot of this struggle is based around your ideals irt attractiveness, and while that is very human, it sounds like you also know that your relationship with that is somewhat unhealthy? like, yes, people by and large want others to think they look nice, but that shouldnt come between you loving the body you're in. there are billions of people with billions of opinions and you will never be able to satisfy all of them, and if you try then all those opinions pulling in different directions will draw and quarter you lol. so to me it sounds a bit like itll be hard for you to really unravel your thoughts irt your gender until you're able to work through those hangups around attractiveness? or even that these may be something youll have to unravel in tandem

something that might help start that is next time youre feeling unattractive, rather than pulling away from that feeling or changing something about your look or wallowing in it, take some time to sit with it as a friend. ask it what's so scary about being unattractive. is it societal pressure telling you Girls Have To Be Pretty? is it your parents picking apart your appearance often? is it your friends treating you poorly because of your looks? figure out what it is that has created the unattractive=bad association in your mind, find who has been punishing you (literally or metaphorically) for looking "bad", and ask if you actually did anything wrong that deserves punishment by simply existing on your default settings, or if perhaps it wasnt actually about you at all, and was just about those peoples insecurities. when you pay attention, you start to notice that 99% of the time, attacks against others are defensiveness, they are insecure about something and something you did or said reminded them of it, so now they feel uncomfortable and want it to stop, and the way you do that is either investigate why, or take it out on someone else. and investigating why feels bad and takes a lot of time, so, yknow. path of least resistance, most people will lash out. and that does suck, but in my experience, realizing that made it a thousand times easier to not worry abt other ppls opinions' anywhere near as much. the way that i look is the way that /i/ like, not how society does, because im the one that has to live with me 24/7. society can deal with the horrific terrible burden of seeing me getting gas looking like a 1 occasionally, bc like literally how does that effect them yknow? theyre not harmed in any way by me existing and not looking how they want me to, and it would be weird for them to expect that of me because I Didnt Know They Existed Before Now so how could i possibly dress for them? and why would i?

(that can help w insecurities too ime is like. imagine someone else saying those things to you, would you think theyre an asshole and tell them to fuck off? if yes, you have permission to tell your brain the same thing)

as far as finding someone to love you, i definitely feel that fear but 1000% you have nothing to worry about. the adult queer scene is bursting to the seams with people who will want whatever it is that youre bringing to the table like a man lost in the desert for fifty years being offered a crisp mcdonalds sprite. "but what about-" yes that too. like, enough that they had to make a word specifically for cis people who Really Really Want To Date Trans People A Creepy Amount to distinguish between them and respectful ppl. i promise your dating pool is not small, you're just still in school and/or a small town and dont have access to them yet. give it time, you have decades ahead of you

as far as family and friends, honestly, yeah, you might lose them, im not gonna sugar coat that. and that sucks . so much. and i can tell you theres more people out there to befriend and that you can build a new family but id bet thatd hit about as well as it hits for me. bc truth is that yeah, you can make a new family, but that just isn't the same. there will still be a little hole in your heart reserved for the accepting and loving family and friends you deserved. and i cant really offer any advice on making that go away if thats how it turns out bc its still there for me.

but i also gotta say? the hole is a lot easier to deal with than the knife that put it there. theres still a painful spot but at least im not still actively being hurt More by them. so like im trying very hard not to just say "fuck em who needs em" here bc i know its not that easy and for a lot of people that isn't the right answer anyways, but yknow. thats what i did and im doing better, and at the end of the day i can really only speak from my own experience. either way, just know that there are in fact people out there who will accept and love you regardless of who you are or how you look, and in fact will encourage you to do things that make you look "worse" by society's standards if it makes you happy.

anyways. i hope that wasnt too depresso there, i think ill finish this off by addressing "is it even worth doing anything about it if im not dysphoric?": imo, yes, absolutely. there are parts of me that i wasnt dysphoric about before starting t that now make me ridiculously happy. i never knew i wanted chest hair and yet now i sometimes just sit here staring at it like "!!!!!!". you deserve a body that makes you happy. not a body that makes the people around you happy, not a body you can tolerate, a body that makes YOU happy. you could probably tolerate living in a featureless square apartment with all the bare essentials and 0 decorations if it was cheap, but would it make you happy? personally, i think you deserve to put up posters even if the world thinks theyd look dumb.

[macksting]

I’ve really been getting into Sailor Moon lately. Lemme tell ya, that’s a wild and funny thing to be doing after bouncing off it for over twenty years, each time finding “this just isn’t for me.” My lovie has been an earnest fan of it longer than I’ve known her, and now binge-watching the 1990s Sailor Moon has become a frequent date for us in the evenings, and she gets to see me call out attacks and get maudlin over character stuff like a teenage girl, because let’s face if I’m over the hill and simultaneously not long into a second puberty, so I am in fact getting a do-over of sorts and I’m a bit of a mess. Granted my gender expression has always been odd, and I’ve always been something of a cry baby, so that’s no change. Heck, my mother once punched one of her gaming buddies in the face in her living room for telling me “boys don’t cry.” (We all thought I was a boy then.) This says more about my awesome mom than it does about me, of course. I digress. So by reasonable standards I have now seen two Sailor Scouts express gender dysphoria. Makoto talking about making up for appearing unfeminine by being tall and boyish and fighty by becoming an excellent cook in the Pure Hearts storyline, and a brutally rebuffed and emotionally wounded Usagi wandering into a cosmetics store following its promises of making her desirable and acceptable when Mamoru is pushing her away out of fear for what will happen to her in the Black Moon arc. (Trans folks, I would hope we’d be the first to say, have no monopoly on gender dysphoria; we merely have an unusually poignant set of sources of it.) Last night I saw a Sailor Moon episode about the false promises of beauty products. I mean, other things too, but basically preying on young women's fears to sell them stuff, as a means to destroy goodwill to advance a literally fascist goal of Preserving The Human Spirit Through War. That's some old Italian Futurist shit, and one sees it in other places too. (Actually, it reminds me of a scene in Legend Of The Galactic Heroes, come to think of it.) It’s possible I’m reading too much into it, but honestly it ultimately doesn’t matter to what extent a theme is deliberate or not, if the result is meaningful. I’m at least as happy to see a thing that should be addressed, addressed accidentally, as I am to see it deliberately done. Stumbling upon themes by accident often gives unique perspectives that are valuable and have nuances that might be missed if engaging with a thing purposefully. (e.g. Tedd’s worries about losing her friends due to hyperfocus and a differing experience of friendship degradation over time compared to them in El Goonish Shive, being accidentally an example of the author’s undiagnosed ADHD and related neurodivergences) Also if you used those cosmetics for long, it was explicitly the goal of the Evil Baddies to make it so that you were dependent on beauty products by them stripping away natural oils, etc., so that you had to use them thereafter. In fact, and holy shit this is kinda transition goals in a way*, the android who was selling them had her whole eyes painted on, and had to redraw them. FUCK that’s cool. I won’t say it’s perfect in any dimension, but I’m really really appreciating the incredibly frequent wholesome and supportive takes in old 1990s Sailor Moon. Sure it has some dubious stuff too, and of course its characters are sometimes ridiculously flawed for funsies and drama, but even those flaws are often used to gently make some really valid point or another, by writers who really cared for their characters and how they interact and see the world. It’s not as if my love for my wife needed any particular rekindling, but this has thrown a lot of fuel on the ever-raging fire of my love for and appreciation of her, and I think also hers for me. And I know I at least am getting some much-needed gender euphoria out of expressing my passion for this show. * look I am dysphoric about having eyes and always have been and I have no reasonable explanation for that, it’s weird, I just want that dress of proximity detector mesh from “Is There In Truth No Beauty” (star trek TOS), it’s complicated and prolly has to do with eye contact and my light sensitivity

[hauntsdiscourseblog]

Summary of my relationship with being trans, I guess?

So my friend came out to me today. Utterly unexpected - I’ve known this guy since like fifth grade and known her to be just as much of a nerd as me if not more, but never really thought of her as a woman. It’s also wild to me because as far as I can tell she speedran the whole experience and skipped straight past the part I’m stuck at. Like I’ve had a list of things that make me wish I were a woman since before I knew what being trans was. I’ve mistaken jealousy for sexual attraction so many times that I’ve figured out what it actually is and come to terms with it. I regularly crossdress(?) and purchase women’s clothes whenever I’m online shopping, and I’ve hated guys’ fashion for years and years. I’ve even recognized gender weirdness within myself (I first thought of myself as genderfluid sometime in college - after reading EGS, of course - and decided I was probably just a trans woman sometime after). And yet, she’s over there certain about being trans and I’m over here creating side blogs to explore the idea.

Why? Well partly out of duty. I have a family that cares about family and I care about them and about family as well. And well, you can’t have kids if you become sterile from taking estrogen. (Yes I know, you can freeze your sperm or whatever. It’s a matter of doing it right, not just doing it. I’ve got my conservative facets, we all do. And that leaves you with a limited supply anyway.) I’ve never really “thought of” myself as trans either, perhaps as a result of the above. I’ve been more on the side of being “happy with what you have to be happy with”, to quote King Crimson, and viewed myself as the person that I am with some inclinations towards being a woman. It doesn’t quite feel real, you know? And that leads to questions of, not quite “are trans people faking it”, but rather, “are we all just playing pretend”. Which is hard to disprove! The “You will never be a woman” comment hits hard because it’s true! Good luck getting the full biology of a woman. Male puberty is irreversible. Sex changes reduce sexual pleasure. Top surgeries (not relevant to me, but relevant to some) leave massive chest scars. And nobody has ever been able to have children after a sex change. You can’t maintain a desire to continue the human race while also deciding to become incapable of doing so. Like with all of that in mind, are we really going to say that we’re not just playing pretend?

So I get a little bit terfy. I don’t understand the path, so I’m not sure if I want to walk it, and I hesitate. And the community doesn’t help either. They do all kinds of things I don’t like, such as:

Saying gender is meaningless or can mean anything you want it to, and then asking hence-meaningless questions like “what do you identify as”;

Stupid terminology issues, like calling everyone transgender even if it’s their sex they want to change because “oh well the transphobes use the word transsexual so we’re just gonna let them have it”;

Claiming that trans people’s right to transition is justified by dysphoria, when it is painfully obvious that nobody is interested in restricting transition to just the dysphoric people (and if they were of course I would be effectively excluded; I’m much less interested in not being a man than I am interested in being a woman);

Being straight up misandristic, cisphobic, straightphobic, the whole shebang, and then claiming that it is literally impossible to be these things because “but they aren’t oppressed like we are”;

Refusing to interact with people they disagree with, as if the issues people have with the lgbtqia community aren’t just misunderstandings that can be worked out through discussion; and

As above, losing their ability to exist as a community (by definition; trans people can’t reproduce and gay people refuse to) and hence being 100% dependent on the good will of the straights they so clearly hate.

The fourth and fifth ones are especially infuriating because it actually leaves me feeling ostracized despite being a trans woman. Despite how much I’ve considered it I’m still questioning, and I still express myself as male. I still walk around acting like a straight cis white man all the time. And hearing “hey this thing you express yourself as is evil and sucks” from the community that’s supposed to be objectively the best about acceptance and tolerance... it kinda sucks. It’s like “oh ok, so this group would accept me, but only if I transition”, like my acceptance is contingent upon being one of them. Contrarian that I am, it makes me less willing to transition. It makes me less willing to involve myself in that culture and identity. And what’s worse is that at that point the people who are willing to talk to me are the terfs. And that’s how people get recruited - by being driven away by the exclusionary nature of the lgbtqia community and straight into the open arms of the terfs and (since that’s a pipeline on TikTok) the Nazis. And I can’t accept that a community that behaves like that is one that I “should” be part of. It’s kinda disgusting honestly

So the community is irritating to me, and it’s pretty obvious even though nobody talks about it that it only exists at all because straight cis people let it. (Y’all know marriage only recently became about sexual attraction at all, right?) And that made the uncertainty in my feelings that much worse, because though I crossdress(?) regularly, I always get this feeling of “eh” out of it, you know? Like clothes are clothes. I’m kinda big so I don’t fit in every outfit I buy, and while I’ll admit that a) I love the buying of the clothes, and b) I think I actually look pretty good in them (at least the ones that fit me), the only feeling I really get from them is “this doesn’t really achieve what I wanted”. Well, that and “wow, bra underwires are insanely uncomfortable, the cis girls were right”. But like yeah, it was almost a negative feeling for me. Until this past conversation with my friend, who said that putting on women’s clothes was more dysphoric than anything, because like she will never have the actual woman’s body she wants. And that, I can say I’ve felt. That I can relate to. Despite everything else in this post, and the fact that it’s still a negative experience, it’s nice to know that at least it’s a feeling other trans women have.

In conclusion? As I told my friend, I am all over the fucking place on gender. I get a bit crossdressy(?), I get a bit terfy, I get a bit overthinky, and I get a bit... family-y? Eh. I also get a bit of jealousy, and a bit transvirtual-y. Even as I sit here wondering how the fuck being trans could even be a viable life choice I still do all the things that make me think “hey maybe I am anyways”. I don’t know where I am. But that’s why this blog is here. To say these things and ask questions. And there it is - my summary of my situation. I’m late for work, but at least it’s out there. Thanks for reading, please comment with what thoughts you have.

[kimabutch]

On a more positive note, it still astounds me that HRT works.

Not talking about the fact that it changes your body — although, for the record, that is fucking miraculous — but how it actually helps with the dysphoria and makes me feel a lot better in my own skin.

Like, after being exposed to so much transphobia both online and in person, I've heard every variation of "medical transition doesn't actually reduce dysphoria or improve mental health, it'll just [change what you're dysphoric about/make you more self-conscious/hurt your body/etc.]". I've also read lots of studies that say that it does help, and listened to doctors and therapists say the same, and known many trans people who've said that about their own personal experience — but I still had doubts for myself, you know? Like, what if all of those assholes were right?

So I started T with extremely low expectations, more than aware that it's not a quick-fix to my life's problems and in fact ready for it to potentially cause problems, because that's the kind of pessimist I am. I didn't want to get my hopes up even as I was excited for the changes. I was ready to give it a shot (heh) because I was fairly sure I could at least cope with all the permanent changes, but thought there was a reasonable possibility of not continuing for very long.

And then! It's made me feel like, wildly better! Not perfect, not 100% non-dysphoric, and certainly it hasn't solved any of my life problems that weren't caused by dysphoria, but like! There's a gap where my voice dysphoria used to be, and I'm filling that gap with self-love. The unsettling Wrongness that I felt when I caught sight of my silhouette in a passing mirror is replaced with neutrality or appreciation, felt for moments before I register that that's different from what I've felt since adolescence. It's just better, not having to deal with that discomfort every single day. It's so much better than I could have ever let myself hoped for.

And I know transphobes would say that it's still only been 7 months for me, and Everyone Regrets It In The End, Just You Wait, but like, even if this happiness doesn't last forever? It's been a good 7 months and I'm so grateful to experience any length of time where my dysphoria is quieter and I can hear the rest of my life better.

[endobiologist]

Trans Guy Tips #5; Dressing Good

Today, we're going to talk about basic fashion, and some things trans guys specifically need to know when buying a new wardrobe.

Some of these rules can always be broken, it's your body and your choice what to put on it!

However, this is a guide for passing better, so feminine and androgynous looks will not be covered here, only the traditional masculine. I will most likely make a guide out on dressing that way later.

1. Match colors, but don't be afraid to throw in some accent detail colors! Usually when you think of fashion, you think of making everything match, however some things will go better with some contrast rather than plainly matching!

As long as it still has some similarity, it doesn't have to be the same.

The most basic rule you need to learn dressing as a man, is that you wear your belt to your shoes.

If your belt is brown, so should your shoes be.

If your belt is black, they should be black.

Usually most fashion rules can be broken, but this one seems to be very important, as it can throw off the whole appearance of an outfit to have mismatching shoes and belt.

2. Use what I call the finger trick.

When selecting a shirt, specifically a dress shirt, put your fingers in the collar between your neck and the collar.

If you can comfortably fit two or even maybe barely three fingers in there, then that's a perfect fit shirt around your neck.

If you can fit four or more fingers, it's loose and will make you look baggy and overweight.

If you can fit only one, or feel any pressure on your throat, you need a looser shirt because it's too tight.

3. Somewhat similar, but when buying pants, this may be the most important thing of all.

If you get the right set of pants, it can disguise even the biggest of curves.

You want to get what's known as a straight-leg jean pant, you can make it a cargo pant if you wish, either one looks very masculine and good.

I would usually recommend bootcut pants if you wear longer shoes, like boots, or combat boots, or anything you need to tuck the jeans into.

Always get pants that don't feel constricting, and always get them where they fit comfortably with a belt, but don't need a belt due to fitting good already.

But straight-leg type is so important to go for, it's one of the things that makes a boxy figure like a cis man's.

4. I'm not sure if this is obvious or may come as a surprise to some people, but even if you like dressing femininely, if you wish to pass, I would suggest always shopping in the men's section.

They have shirts and pants and everything else under the sun that shaped specifically for men's bodies, making yours look even more like a cis man's, which is very gender affirming. Also women's jeans are made to support the butt and make you look feminine and curvy, while men's are designed to be straight, boxy, and comfortable, usually with deep pockets too!

5. Similar to the matching rule before, you can match a busy pattern shirt with a plain pair of pants, or busy pattern and pants with a plain shirt. However if you put too many busy patterns, or too much plainness, either way makes you look not as good.

Try to balance the detail with the simplicity.

6. Overall the most masculine thing you can wear especially pre-t, is either a formal or casual suit.

You can even wear just a dress shirt with a tie or bow tie, with some dress shoes and pants, and you're good!

This just generally makes you look super masculine and it's hard to mistake.

7. if you're like me, where you like to dress flamboyantly, but you're also super dysphoric about it, wait until you get testosterone therapy.

If you end up having it and you start seeing positive effects before dressing femininely, it's great!

I did this and now I feel totally comfortable with it, as no one ever misunderstands me even if I wear the most feminine things ever.

So if you're going on t, feel free to dress more extravagantly during because you will pass even so!

8. Another way to check shirts that are long sleeved, particularly dress shirts, is to tuck it in like usual, and then lift up your arms really high like you're reaching for something.

If it untucks or lifts the fabric in an unflattering way where your armpits look huge, it's cut wrong and is not something you should buy.

9. This may be surprising to some, but yes, cis men will wear feminine designs on masculine outfits.

I can't count the number of times I've seen men wearing bright pink suits. Other times there's been crop tops, painted nails, hair done, everything.

So if you really like that button up with the flowers on it, but are feeling hesitant due to the feeling that people might judge you, don't worry!

Maybe some will, but a lot of people wear unique clothing, and no one will be as bad as what your thoughts say to you.

10. I have somewhat of a warning, as good and fun they are, t-shirts can be very revealing when it comes to showing your chest, even through your binder! Something about them isn't cut quite right, even if they come from the manliest man's site or store.

If you still wish to wear t-shirts like I do, I would recommend getting a short-sleeved or long-sleeved Dickies button up jacket/shirt that you wear open over it. Or any jacket thing, really. This covers your chest completely and negates that effect.

11. This is sort of more hygiene base but still has to do with getting dressed. Always use men's soap, and men's cologne, and men's essential oils, and men's lotion, if you have them.

Also use some aftershave, it's helpful if it has lotion mixed in and moisturizes as well.

You can even shave even if you're pre-t, due to it making a clean feeling due to there being no feminine peach fuzz on it. This can help support dysphoria relief, as well because it feels like you're shaving a beard, at least until it comes in.

When your moustache and beard do come in from testosterone, if you take it, make sure to oil it lightly with natural oils like argan oil or coconut oil, the stimulates hair growth and follicle health.

And I would recommend shaving just once as it starts developing, so it develops thicker, stronger, and more handsome.

12. If you're planning on going on t, buy at least some of your clothing a size or a few sizes up, or getting a duplicate that's larger.

You will grow, so if you buy all your clothing in a smaller size, you'll probably end up unable to use any of it.

13. Always position your belt buckle in the center of your stomach, the way you can tell if it's positioned right is if it lines up with the buttons of your button up perfectly.

14. When wearing a suit try to always keep the bottomless button unbuttoned. That button isn't actually there to be used, it's meant to be unbuttoned and it makes it look so much better.

The reason it looks so much better is because it makes it flattering and thinning. If you button all the buttons, it will make you look heavy due to it tightening around your waist and stomach.

15. You should always have at least two pairs of dress shoes. one pair that's black, and one pair that's brown. Same with belts. It's also recommended for summer that you keep one pair of masculine flip flops or sandals or sneakers around.

16. This is more of a suggestion than anything, however it's manly as fuck, and people love it.

If you carry a work knife, a pocket watch, a small portable multitool, and a handkerchief.

Possibly even a pen and small notepad with you at all times.

This may seem odd at first, but it's what men used to do constantly in the older days.

These items can come in very useful. A work knife can open packages, open letters, be used in place of scissors occasionally, and even used to defend yourself and others.

A pocket watch is just fancy and shows you're always trying to be on time.

A multi-tool shows you're ready for any task, and it can be a lifesaver in many situations!

Meanwhile a handkerchief is important, because if you ever come across someone crying, or someone wounded, you can lend them or give them your handkerchief, which is a very gentlemanly thing to do, and it can help you pass better, as well as it just being a kind thing to do for someone.

The pen and small notepad is always good to carry on you regardless of any gender, due to you needing to write things down often.

17. Ironically, although socks with sandals seems to be a fashion 'no-no' to most people, I quite like them, and it seems like I pass better with them.

Men tend to wear those slip-on flip flop things, and when you wear socks with it it makes you look very masculine, even if it may look silly to some.

Personally I like it a lot.

18. If you do wish to do makeup & nails, I would suggest doing it as black and gothic as possible, as that's the most common style guys do it as, and if you do it in a certain way, it can come out looking way masculine.

And that concludes my fifth part of this Trans Guy Tips series!

Thank you for reading, and I hope anything I said helped!

[aspenlovesgrimm]

As a fellow trans person, I could not agree more.

This also brings up questions on wesen evolution since wesen species have sexual dimorphism which is interesting.

Usually I’d assume that their wesen form would match their sex, however wesen are also magical creatures so it may not work like that, and also that would still bring in questions if a wesen was intersex. Also as hexenbiests and zauberbiests seem to be possessed (sort of? Again the spirit thing is not explained) I’d guess for them if the person was trans, they’d get which ever one fit them better or potentially both? Actually would a genderfluid person have both and switch between them?

With wesen while there’s definitely genetics behind stuff, however it’s unclear on how much magic plays into things. Also if it is tied to their sex, is there a way to change it because lets face it, a wesen would get dysphoric over their wesen form.

This may be a personal thing but I don’t actually mind that it’s a worm, but I think that’s more because I’m a biology nerd and worms are incredibly interesting (and successful) animals. That being said the choice to make them alters was…not a great choice. Actually tbh I don’t think there was really a route they could have gone with the storyline they had for the episode which didn’t make it at least slightly problematic. I think it’s a cool concept for a wesen but as that’s the only one we see in the entire show, you can’t really escape the negative stereotypes.

If they made the wesen accidently kill someone with their corrosive slime or they had to kill someone in self defence (that’s technically what they did but they were con artists) then it would be mostly fine, or even if we met another hantha lami muuaji at some point and had them be a witness or something it would kinda help with the problematic undertones of that initial episode.

Part of it is because the episode aired in 2015, so of course it would have been a struggle to really talk about trans/gender no comforming stuff, but the episode still has problems.

Can we appreciate just how weird hexenbiests/zauberbiests are as wesen and it’s just never explained?

It’s like “oh yeah hexenbiests have a spirit” and they just go with it and it’s just a thing? And they can lose their powers to grimm blood. Why? I really want to know.

I mean, I have a headcannon that they’re related to Zerstörer in some way but that still doesn’t mean they’re not weird.

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

i know you’ve been open about your opinions on nonbinary genders but it’s still disappointing. like, that r/agender anon… how do you know that these people are cis? how do you know if all of these people are dysphoric or not? it’s such a huge generalization to make. did it ever occur to you that most agender people aren’t comfortable as EITHER gender? i just don’t understand why you’re so dismissive to the experiences of nb people. i really don’t. i’m a binary trans guy and it makes total sense to me how gender is more complicated than “man or woman”.

Listen. When someone tells me the reason they don't identify as a girl is because they don't like makeup, or because they didn't enjoy Barbie's growing up, or maybe because they don't feel comfortable wearing revealing clothes like they see other girls do. And they use that to claim they are trans-- ya I'm gonna question it. Cuz those are all gender roles. I loved Barbie's growing up, so did my cisgender little brother. Had a cisgender friend, and she hated them. Same thing with makeup. The clothes one is the only one that really holds any value. But your assumption should be to first explore if it's body dysmorphia or being uncomfortable because of objectification.

There are hundreds of reasons why someone would feel uncomfortable in their body that have nothing to do with being trans. And anyone who's immediately reaction to any of those reasons is to say it must be gender dysphoria or say they're trans is gonna get a hard pass from me. You gotta rule out the other stuff first. Same goes for anyone who describes being trans as a "feeling." Cuz there is no way to "feel like a women/man." You just are what you are and the disconnect will manifest in various ways.

I'm not actually opposed to nonbinary at all. And I've said so before in my posts. My issue is that the ones that claim that nonbinary is apart of the trans community ALSO explain it as a feeling. Describing issues that stem from gender roles not gender itself. Things that would be solved if we lived in a society where gender roles didn't exist. And that harms trans people a lot.

There i already a big misunderstanding of what it means to be trans. A lot of people think that it ties into gender roles. But it has nothing to do with them at all. If the world was perfectly equal in terms of gender, and there were no gender roles, I would still be trans.

What I hear a lot of nb people talk about is things that would be solved by pushing for social change. But instead they just create a new gender and call it a day. That doesn't fix anything. If you don't feel like a women because you want to be able to wear and look however you want without the judgement and social stereotypes that come with being a women that's 100% understandable. The solution however, is not to separate yourself from women but to work towards getting rid of that social stigma. So you can be yourself and be stressed about it.

I have yet to see any nb people (afab or amab) describe their experiences in ways that actually sound like their talking about gender instead of gender roles. I really don't mind and even support the idea of nb if it was actually about gender itself and the physical body. But every reason I'm shown looks like it's related to social issues and then described as being trans (which feels like a big slap in the face) or they describe body dysmorphia instead of gender dysmorphia (which points towards body shaming issues NOT transgender).

I'm not gonna tell someone what they are or aren't. I'm a firm believer that everyone has to come to their own realizations of who they are on their own in their own time. The only time you should share your opinion is if they ask for it. But that doesn't mean you can't talk about the harm that a special issue or label has. I'm not singling anyone out. I'm just talking about the very very common problems that I find with nonbinary people as a whole.

[cringeanator]

The Last Legacy M4 with a Transgender MC (FTM)

repost from instagram yerrrrr

tw: brief mention of needles at the end

Sage

When MC tells him that they’re trans he’s like “That’s great!” and he’ll be all sweet and supportive

“Are you sure you’re okay with me being trans?”

“As long as i can call you my boyfriend” And he flashed them his signature smile. You know the one.

Transitioning in another dimension isn’t the… easiest thing to say the least but he definitely helps when he can

I feel like in Astrea there is a lot more gender affirming care than there is on Earth.

I’m talking magic HRT spells and everything

Like if they are ever feeling dysphoric about whatever he’d be like “Oh well there is an open 24/7 drive-thru top surgery clinic if you want to change that.”

But then he can also be the worst

He will dump all his old dirty clothes that have never once seen soap a day in their existence on MC and call them “hand-me-downs”

He will mess with them by laying on top of them and be like “Oh, will my big strong boyfriend carry me?😌”

“SAGE YOU’RE CRUSHING ME”

Felix

Felix’s face lights up in a big smile when they come out and then he goes into this little speech about how much they’ve helped him grow as a person and he’s always gonna be by their side no matter what

Trying out new names and pronouns will be a breeze with him especially when they aren’t sure about their new name

His voice makes the weirdest names sound elegant and lovely

When he tells Florian that they’re transitioning he would literally be so happy for them and reach out and let them know what if they ever need someone to talk to he is available

Florian will treat them like his own son

Sometimes Felix gets caught just admiring them cause he can’t help but fall further in love with them as they grow into their truest self

He will want to try and find transitioning spells to use on them but beware because one thing goes haywire and BOOM third arm

He forces Escell to fund their transition, even if they barely spend any money, whatever they want that old bastard is paying for it

Anisa

When they tell her that they’re trans she’s all like “Oh- Really? Well that’s great!”

She doesn’t know a whole lot about transitioning but she is very eager to learn

After she educated herself there will be little moments we’re the two are sitting together after a long day and her head will perk up and she’ll be like “MC, how old have you been binding for?

She talks to MC about her childhood dream to save a prince as she stares at them lovingly

Please help me she is so sweet

If they are still on the road with Saaros, they would go on this self righteous rant about how gender is truly a human concept and act indifferent but then they’re taking trips with MC at the market helping them shop for items for their transition and trying to curate outfits for them

But trust and believe they “don’t care” 😉

If they need help masculinizing in terms of body shape she would a whole workout routine set of for them by the end of the day that she WILL practice with them

Rime

*aggressively supportive*

Rime's love language is smacking a bitch who ever dares to disrespect his s/o so when they come out to him he ups the ante 100%

Being trans is very normal in Astrea so it really doesn't pose any threat in their relationship especially cause I think Rime doesn't have any gender preferences

If they are transitioning their wardrobe he is VERY insistent on helping them

He loves MC and loves that they are on a journey on self discovery, but there is no way in hells you're leaving the house like that

If they want to start hormones he volunteers to inject them cause ya know, the urge to stab never went away

Grand slammer of destroying gender dysphoria

I feel like it's rare for him to give out compliments and he doesn't do it just to be nice so when he says something nice to them about how they are looking it makes them feel so much better because he actually means it

[thatlowiqbabe]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write something for HoO boys being your boy friend? Also, do you think it’s possible for you to do a trans (ftm) hispanic demiboy? Thanks!

Oh yeah sure! As a Demi-Boy it's my duty!

This is over 900 words so there's gonna be a part two (sorry bout that)

HOO Boys with A Hispanic!Demi-Boy! S/O

Frank Zhang

"Wait your a demi-boy? Like cause you're a demi-god orr"

"Oh okay, totally unrelated gotcha."

You probably came out to Frank after the Son of neptune, scared you'd never get the chance to tell him.

He asked some silly questions but obviously accepted you! He would do more research via internet but demi-gods and phones don't mix

(What do you mean he's been asking other trans demi-gods how to better understand, you obviously got the wrong chinese-canadian shape-shifting son of mars)

Anyway he loves you, and tries to switch pronouns often ❤️ (if you use multiple)

If you're ever feeling dysphoric, he'll turn into an cuddly animal of your choice to make you feel better.

Will turn into a bear and (threaten to)  eat a transphobe

(They probably taste funny lol)

(If you're bilingual) You, him and Jason sit in a circle and speak in spanish, canadian french, and latin, knowing damn well y'all don't understand each other.

Y'all be looking like this

Don't even try having Thanksgiving with him

"Happy Thanksgiving!"

".... I'm canadian."

"Oh, uhhh happy thursday then??"

Like sir, do you want some turkey or not?

Jason Grace

"So wait, if you're a demi-god and a demi-boy do they like cancel each other out?"

"I- baby no—"

"Can I call you God-Boy?"

Y'all give him a minute, boy brain ain't right after getting knocked out so many times 🤣

Being called God-Boy does make you feel powerful ngl

You probably "dated" during hoo, and after you started dating for real came out to him.

Uses both pronouns, like every other paragraph. (If you use multiple)

If you're a greek demi-god, he loves to take you over to Camp Jupiter, and take you on tours around the parthenon and go on dates

If you're roman, he takes you out to Camp half-blood and maybe even tour manhattan!

(Gotta be a group date though, he's been at Camp Jupiter since he was 3 and only left on quests, he don't know where he going)

(If your bilingual) He'll teach you latin if you teach him spanish! It's always cool to know another language, especially if you're partner speaks it.

If you're dysphoric, y'all take naps together.

You don't have to stress, whatever's outside can wait a while, right now it's just you and him ❤️

You're his little God-Boy, he loves you

What do you mean he specifically asked to do whatever chores you had that day? Uh-huh couldn't be him 🛑🖐️ stop playing

Don't let him meet your mortal parent

Boy be so nervous he don't know what to do

"Jason, dear could you pass me the (fav. Food) "

"Yes  (Mr./Mrs/Mx.) L/n, I will have a ham sandwich "

"..."

"..."

"..."

He left with a ham sandwich and a red face

He got invited back over, so it wasn't too bad tho lol

Leo Valdez

He already knew you were a demi-boy!

You probably came out to Leo before y'all started dating, and maybe before y'all knew you were demi-gods, he just has that "yes I'd beat a bitch's ass and lose, and what about it?" Energy y'know??

Obviously you could trust him.

Will try to to use both pronouns, but might stick with one for a while before switching it up and then sticking to one again

Y'all probably talk shit about people together honestly.

Let's be honest, if you were bilingual, with a boyfriend who was also bilingual, and y'all didn't like this one person you'd talk shit right in front of them.

If you're really petty you'd make it obvious too.

If you're ever feeling some dysphoria, don't worry cause Leo got dis-for-ya!

Iamsosorry

But seriously he'll build you tiny trinkets and stuff to help you feel better

Greatifyoureahoarderlikemelol

If you want, you could help him with building, or even build something yourself!

(You: somehow builds a bomb or something equally dangerous

Leo:

)

Y'all like to make smores, and probably sing the campfire song from spongebob while doing it

(Whether it's on Leo or an actual campfire depends on y'all mood)

"OUR C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E  S-O-N-G SONG"

"Hey, you did it without stuttering this time!"

Nico di Angelo

"So you trans your gender??"

"Uh no, I'm transgender, it doesn't work like that—"

"How do you trans your gender?? Is it a like a process to get your gender trans or does it happen all at once?"

This boy a whole boomer, lord have mercy 😭🖐️

Growing up in early 1900's he doesn't really understand, but he'll try.

If he feels like he's bothering you with too many with questions, he'll go bother Annabeth instead.

Uses both pronouns, despite not knowing how you can have more than one. (If you use multiple)

Will do his best to get rid of any internalized transphobia he might have. Even if he grew up around Bianca, it was a hateful time back then and he might have biases.

You're dysphoric, but how??

He understands how dysphoria works, as much as it pains him to know that you're hurting, he didn't understand how it could effect someone like you.

You were much braver than he was, not being outed and actually coming out on your own. You were the man you said you were and more.

Sometimes y'all just lay down outside under a tree and he'll sing to you.

(Y'all know I'm talking about Soldatino don't even play)

Those days can go from bad to okay to great, depending on what y'all do afterward.

Sometimes y'all go out to eat at McDonald's via shadow travel, and I hope you got cash cause the seven gonna want some too lol (this includes Rachel and Will btw)

"So you're ordering (big af order) to go, for just the two of you?"

"We're eating for nine."

"No baby we're eating for eleven remember?"

Cashier, who's just trying to earn they minimum wage:

I don't know how to end this lol

Um part 2 will be out soon, maybe like a day from now if I don't forget lol

Thank you for requesting! I hope it was up to your standards, if not then I hope you enjoyed it anyway, cause I enjoyed writing it!

If you're interested in my writing pls request, I only have one other to do so it might be done soon!

Also, I hope Leo's bilingual hc isn't offensive in anyway. I'm just realizing how rude that may sound. If it is I'll write a new one. I'm not bilingual but if I was that's what I'd do. Again, I hope I didn't come off as ignorant on that hc.

[smol-cherry]

hi!! could I suggest a jschlatt x trans ftm reader??

reader feels a lil dysphoric n schlatt cheers him up?? just want fluff from him skdjsjdndn🥰 looking forward to reading stuff from you both!! <3

Thank you for the submission!

I'm so sorry for answering so late!!! I don't know what it's like to be trans so I'm so so sorry if I get anything wrong or upset anyone!! <3333 I'll do my best!

Hopefully It's not too bad :sweat:

(Words: 659, time taken: about an hour and 30 minutes.)

CW(?): There's like two cuss words here, I mean- I tried not to do too much, but it's Schlatt, so-

Also, it's slight fluff? Not like an overwhelming amount of any, just like a relaxing one-shot ig

- Cherry

Everything was okay, until you got enough time to yourself to think. Specifically that one time someone happened to miss gender you, it had been in your Head all Day, but you never had time to really think about it, until now. 

Did you really look like a girl? Was it that obvious to everyone else who was around you? Your thoughts began to annoy and upset you once again.

You laid down on your Bed, and sighed, hoping your Mind would switch to a different subject to focus on, instead of just telling you you're not who you actually are, and that you never will be. 

Doing nothing surely didn't help at all, so you decided you would get up and do something nice for yourself.. Eventually, when you gathered the mental strength for it. 

You soon heard your Door open, it was Schlatt, your roommate. He just stood there looking at you, confused. "What the fuck are you doing?" He asked, sounding a little annoyed as usual. You got up off your Bed and stretched, "Nothing, why?"

"Whatever, when I was ordering Food, they gave me an extra, come get it before I eat it." And with that he was gone. It would seem rude to just about anyone else, but you knew he cared, he just had his own way of showing it. 

You were a bit hungry so you decided 'Why not?', It's not like anything bad could come from it. Plus it would get your current gender dysphoric mess off your mind, at least somewhat. 

Schlatt didn't close your Door behind him, so you didn't have to worry about opening it yourself. Not like it would have made a difference anyways. Turns out he didn't go very far, Schlatt was just leaning on the Wall waiting for you, how sweet. 

"You know you don't have to wait for me, right? I can walk to the kitchen on my own just fine." You smiled lightly as you looked at him, finding it amusing. He just mumbled a "Shut up" To himself in return. 

You sat down on the Couch in the living Room, next to Schlatt, holding your Food. He sighed and looked at you in the Eyes. "Will you please stop looking so sad? It's bothering me." You could swear you heard some sadness in his voice. 

"I don't like it, it looks terrible on you." That was a little rude.. "I'm not sad. I don't know what you mean." You took another bite, trying to get the conversation over with as soon as possible. "I'm pretty sure I can tell when you're upset after living with you for a Year and a half." He seemed hurt by what you said. 

"Fair enough, but it's not that big of a deal anyways, stop worrying about me." He looked as cold as ever, but you could still tell he was upset with you not telling him what's bothering you. "I swear-" He paused for a moment, looking even more annoyed.

"Please?" It took a minute for you to process what he just said.. Did the cold and mean Schlatt just say 'Please?' "Did you just say 'please'?" He only glared at you in response. "Alright, only because you asked so nicely. Do you know what gender dysphoria is?" 

You explained everything to him and he just listened along, never interrupting, just staying quiet and nodding along. "So, do you understand, or should I explain it again?" You laughed lightly at your own sarcastic behavior. "Yeah, I get it, but I also don't." 

"What don't you get?" You took one last bite of your Food, wishing you could've had more. "I mean, you're not a broad though, you're just as much of a man as I am." He gave you a slight smile, but it disappeared just as quickly as it came. "Thank you, Schlatt, that's very kind of you."

"It's not kind. It's just honest."