#i did not forget you i just couldnt figure out how to make the words go kanflsbfksbez

[gibbearish]

just took your uquiz lol! about being trans! what do you think it could mean if I wanted to be a guy but didn’t really mind being who i am? it’s not even any guy, it’s like specific guys (like actors,. I don’t know). Sometimes people say they’d rather be an ugly guy than a good looking woman, and I couldn’t relate less. Part of the reason I’m so scared about this (and it’s a big part) is that I’m just so terrified of being ugly. I’m finally conventionally attractive after years of trying to be, and now I’m scared I won’t be anymore. I’m wondering if maybe the first time i thought i was trans i went about it the wrong way (i was obsessed w masculinity, cut my hair, things like that). And is it even worth it doing anything about it if I’m not dysphoric? I’m also very scared about the finding someone to love me and also losing all my friends and family thing (100% will happen). This whole maybe not ever finding a guy to love me thing is really bothering me, too. You can ignore this I’m just venting a lot. Sorry.

hey friend! i think it could help out a lot if you looked into the idea of gender euphoria. the quick description essentially is the opposite of dysphoria, where rather than "being x makes me feel bad," its "being x makes me feel good". there's been a lot of discourse about this over the years and you will still find people out there who will be shitty, but as someone with dysphoria, i have always fallen firmly on the "you do not need dysphoria to be trans" side of things. i believe that if it makes you happy to be a specific way, you shouldnt have to hate being the way you are to be allowed to pursue that. i dont have to turn down a cheesecake just because i don't hate poundcake, suffering is not a requirement to get to the things that make you happy.

i will also say, to me it does sound like a lot of this struggle is based around your ideals irt attractiveness, and while that is very human, it sounds like you also know that your relationship with that is somewhat unhealthy? like, yes, people by and large want others to think they look nice, but that shouldnt come between you loving the body you're in. there are billions of people with billions of opinions and you will never be able to satisfy all of them, and if you try then all those opinions pulling in different directions will draw and quarter you lol. so to me it sounds a bit like itll be hard for you to really unravel your thoughts irt your gender until you're able to work through those hangups around attractiveness? or even that these may be something youll have to unravel in tandem

something that might help start that is next time youre feeling unattractive, rather than pulling away from that feeling or changing something about your look or wallowing in it, take some time to sit with it as a friend. ask it what's so scary about being unattractive. is it societal pressure telling you Girls Have To Be Pretty? is it your parents picking apart your appearance often? is it your friends treating you poorly because of your looks? figure out what it is that has created the unattractive=bad association in your mind, find who has been punishing you (literally or metaphorically) for looking "bad", and ask if you actually did anything wrong that deserves punishment by simply existing on your default settings, or if perhaps it wasnt actually about you at all, and was just about those peoples insecurities. when you pay attention, you start to notice that 99% of the time, attacks against others are defensiveness, they are insecure about something and something you did or said reminded them of it, so now they feel uncomfortable and want it to stop, and the way you do that is either investigate why, or take it out on someone else. and investigating why feels bad and takes a lot of time, so, yknow. path of least resistance, most people will lash out. and that does suck, but in my experience, realizing that made it a thousand times easier to not worry abt other ppls opinions' anywhere near as much. the way that i look is the way that /i/ like, not how society does, because im the one that has to live with me 24/7. society can deal with the horrific terrible burden of seeing me getting gas looking like a 1 occasionally, bc like literally how does that effect them yknow? theyre not harmed in any way by me existing and not looking how they want me to, and it would be weird for them to expect that of me because I Didnt Know They Existed Before Now so how could i possibly dress for them? and why would i?

(that can help w insecurities too ime is like. imagine someone else saying those things to you, would you think theyre an asshole and tell them to fuck off? if yes, you have permission to tell your brain the same thing)

as far as finding someone to love you, i definitely feel that fear but 1000% you have nothing to worry about. the adult queer scene is bursting to the seams with people who will want whatever it is that youre bringing to the table like a man lost in the desert for fifty years being offered a crisp mcdonalds sprite. "but what about-" yes that too. like, enough that they had to make a word specifically for cis people who Really Really Want To Date Trans People A Creepy Amount to distinguish between them and respectful ppl. i promise your dating pool is not small, you're just still in school and/or a small town and dont have access to them yet. give it time, you have decades ahead of you

as far as family and friends, honestly, yeah, you might lose them, im not gonna sugar coat that. and that sucks . so much. and i can tell you theres more people out there to befriend and that you can build a new family but id bet thatd hit about as well as it hits for me. bc truth is that yeah, you can make a new family, but that just isn't the same. there will still be a little hole in your heart reserved for the accepting and loving family and friends you deserved. and i cant really offer any advice on making that go away if thats how it turns out bc its still there for me.

but i also gotta say? the hole is a lot easier to deal with than the knife that put it there. theres still a painful spot but at least im not still actively being hurt More by them. so like im trying very hard not to just say "fuck em who needs em" here bc i know its not that easy and for a lot of people that isn't the right answer anyways, but yknow. thats what i did and im doing better, and at the end of the day i can really only speak from my own experience. either way, just know that there are in fact people out there who will accept and love you regardless of who you are or how you look, and in fact will encourage you to do things that make you look "worse" by society's standards if it makes you happy.

anyways. i hope that wasnt too depresso there, i think ill finish this off by addressing "is it even worth doing anything about it if im not dysphoric?": imo, yes, absolutely. there are parts of me that i wasnt dysphoric about before starting t that now make me ridiculously happy. i never knew i wanted chest hair and yet now i sometimes just sit here staring at it like "!!!!!!". you deserve a body that makes you happy. not a body that makes the people around you happy, not a body you can tolerate, a body that makes YOU happy. you could probably tolerate living in a featureless square apartment with all the bare essentials and 0 decorations if it was cheap, but would it make you happy? personally, i think you deserve to put up posters even if the world thinks theyd look dumb.

[thyln4gf]

Darling, can I?

✞ Confusing feelings - youre both lost, stuck and thinking about each other after the hookup. But its not a one-night stand if it turns into two, right?

✞ Word count - 1898

✞ I have synesthesia! Heres 5 songs that i associate with this fic - "favorite" - Isabel LaRosa, "bad idea!" - Girl In Red, "attention" - Charlie Puth, "eat your young" - Hozier, "meddle about" - Chase Atlantic.

✞ Warnings - smut, mentions of alcohol.

✞ Lando Norris x reader

Whiskey, expensive cologne, and dizzying passion.

Thats what he reminded you of. The image of him was burned into your brain permanently. Whenever whiskey washed over your tongue, memories of him would flash before your eyes. The way he had his tongue deep down your throat, mercilessly fighting with yours. The subtle flavour of whiskey and the cologne he used numbed your senses, almost making you forget your own name. No one has brought you to the heights he has by simply kissing you. No one, ever. And all that happened only once - yet, you couldnt help but let your mind linger on the memory. You kept it close to your chest, like something sweet and sacred. But you thought that he didnt feel the same - and you spent hours thinking about it. He was a famous figure, after all. You probably were just another pretty looking doll to him, something he could play with once and throw away. But did you care? No, not really. You knew that you could easily get anyone else. If you wanted to, that is.

Initially, Lando thought the exact same thing. That you were a pretty thing that he particularly enjoyed playing around with for a night. But, after you, hooking up with women simply didnt feel the same. He kept thinking of you and your scent. The way you looked at him (that look in your eyes was enough to make any mans knees buckle), and the way you made him feel. He was starting to regret his actions, as he found his heart making even more space for you and the feelings for you that have been bubbling up to the surface.

Today was no different - he was staring up at the ceiling, contemplating his life choices. It was approximately 7am, and all he could think about was you. Even when the pretty looking miss barbie he had in his bed tried talking to him - he found himself getting distracted. You just had a way of drawing people in, and barely even noticing it.

And, before he knew it, he was up on his feet, getting ready to leave the house. He had already escorted the blondie out of the door, and that was his last straw - as soon as the distraction left his space... he *had* to go and see you. He wasnt so sure if you would accept him, though. He felt like an ass. He used you and threw you away like something disposable. And he was sure that it was an uncomfortable experience to spot him out and about - monaco wasnt that huge, after all.

"Fucking hell..." he muttered under his breath, as he was currently failing to button up his shirt - his hands were shaking more than ever. He knew that you had options, and that so did he. But he was almost desperate to hold you in his arms.

-------

You were having another slow morning - the weight of your responsibilities was slowly, but surely, weighing you down. You had pulled yet another all nighter - your body is currently powered by hopes, prayers, and a load of canned caffeine. You were surprised by how you were still pulling through.

You were currently walking around with a textbook in your hands, hoping that the walking part is going to trick your body into staying awake. And it was actually working, honestly - despite your legs feeling like pieces of stone. The house was pretty quiet, too. One of the things that made you cherish living alone - peace and quiet.

But thats until you heard your doorbell ring. You werent expecting anybody, it was a Tuesday morning... you put the book down onto the kitchen table, and start making your way towards the front door.

You had a horrible habit of opening the door without peeking through the little hole. And you should have, atleast this time - because none other than Norris himself has made his appearance. You werent expecting such a sight, and so early. You werent expecting him to squeeze himself right past you into your house, either.

"What the fu - hello?" You calmly call out to him, your voice laced with confusion. However, you dont question it much, and close the door behind you. Lando almost looks grateful as you do so - almost as if he was expecting for you to kick him out.

He looks into your eyes, just like that. You can see him briefly licking his lips, and one of his hands going to the back of his neck, rubbing it. He looks away and takes a deep breath, before he can even say anything else. He had 'im nervous and overwhelmed' written all over him, in capital letters. But what is it? Only the sight of him made your heartbeat accelerate a tiny bit.

"I wanted to - ohhh..." he tries to speak up, but he sees you stepping closer to him. Your movements made him freeze in his spot. His breath got caught in his throat. In all honesty... when he looked into your eyes, all he could think about was that one night you spent together, and his confusion about his feelings towards you amplified. Your movements were slow enough to almost feel agonising, making him want to snap and break his composure.

Neither of you say a word, nothing. All he could see was you, and all you could see was him. You could almost imagine how his hot breath would feel on your neck, and in... other places.

But, besides your own thoughts, him struggling to breathe, and the distant ticking of the clock somewhere in the house, nothing else could be heard. The clock almost felt like a ticking bomb, a countdown of seconds until one of you snapped. Both of you knew what was coming a long, long time ago. It was just a question of when.

The silly little staring contest continued. But Lando couldnt keep to himself for much longer - he almost lunges towards you, planting his lips on yours like he was a drowning man, desperately trying to come up for air. You cant even describe the noise that just left your throat, though it was definitely one of surprise. But you quickly found yourself kissing him back, your hands immediately burying themselves into his hair, his snaking around your waist.

You both start losing yourselves, and pretty fast. All the energy and the longing spilled out, sending a wave of electricity throughout your body. You spent the past couple of weeks trying to ignore those thoughts. That maybe, just maybe - you liked him. Each and every of your doubts melted with zero effort as soon as you felt him squeeze your body against his, his fingertips clinging onto your clothes, desperately.

You werent sure of the speed you wanted this to be. As if sensing your confusion, Lando slips his arms a little lower, them now being wrapped around your hips. He didnt want to waste any time, nor he liked to do that. Suddenly, the feeling of being carried takes over - Lando has picked you up, and is about to pin you against the wall with his body.

The intensity he kisses you with increases as your body makes contact with the wall. You can feel his every muscle, hear all the sounds he's making. Hell, you think that you can even hear his heartbeat. You can feel a bite or two he makes on your lips, but youre too far gone for your brain to register it properly.

His body presses against you even harder, the feeling making you moan. You hear him chuckle - he's rather happy that he gets to see the wild side of you - youre always so calm, so... collected. He liked to joke that you were a rock in your past life. His hands leave your hips, now roaming all over your body. He always liked to explore - and this wasnt an exception.

Eventually, his hands start slipping under your shirt. His fingertips are a little calloused and rough from all the training and racing, but his palms were soft. His fingertips were still a little chilly from the air outside, and his palms felt almost disgustingly warm. The contrast between the textures and temperatures makes you shiver with pleasure. You cant help but imagine what they would feel like if he put them down your pants.

If you didnt believe in being able to read someone elses mind before... You were about to. Because you suddenly felt one of his hands slip lower, and lower, and lower. From your chest, down to your stomach, and down to the waistband of your pants. But he doesnt go further, for now - he pulls away slightly, to look up at you, his eyes filled with anticipation. He clearly wanted to ask if you really wanted this, for your permission to go further. He just couldnt find the right words - a part of him was scared as well.

You didnt know what to say either. You always struggled with talking about your feelings, leaving alone... these. All you could manage was crash your lips back onto his, even harder than before. A surprise groan leaves Landos throat, a moan - yours. He understood your message well, or so he hoped. He didnt want to misunderstand anything, even worse - hurt you.

His hand does end up in your pants, starting to slowly rub in all the right places. And, right at that moment, you can feel your brain disconnect from your own body - its almost like you were suddenly working on autopilot. You were almost ashamed to admit, but you could already feel yourself getting close. Something about him felt nothing like you have ever felt before, in all the right ways - his touch overwhelmed and turned you on at the same time.

Lando could feel your back trying to arch, and hear your moans getting louder. He smirks to himself - that didnt take long, he thought. Even faster than he would usually finish in.

The orgasm reaches you just seconds after. The wave felt hot, melting your insides and your inner thighs, as you moan into his mouth. Oh yeah, right - you two never stopped kissing each other during all of this. You simply couldnt be bothered to leave each others embrace. Well, you were basically forced, still pinned against the wall - but you didnt have any complaints. You barely had it in you to kiss him back anymore.

And he could feel it. He felt it. He pulled his face away from yours just a little, making eye contact with you. His hand that was in your pants just now comes up to his face, starting to lick the fingers clean. All while never losing the eye contact. For the first time in awhile, the sight in front of you made you blush.

Seeing your reaction, he chuckled, again. You were adorable. He hesitates slightly before speaking up.

"Could I be your favourite, darling? Can i?" He asks you, in the most gentle tone you have ever heard. The thought of it only makes you smile like an idiot.

'Youll know when you find the one', they said. And you always thought of it as bullshit. But right now? You were proved wrong. You were staring into this mans eyes and you could see the world.

Your favourite.

[mikobeautifulheart]

Jealous, protective megumi pls??

- 🐌

OMG I MISSED YOU SM. 🤧 my saviour anon.

And Absolutely.

Jealous and protective Megumi

After being stranded in heavy rain you wait for your boyfriend to pick you up. What you weren't expecting was to met one of his acquaintances while waiting. He didn't either.

Sitting under the bus shelter you looked down at your phone to read the time. You had been there for well over 10 minutes and the rain had no sign of stopping or getting any lighter.

You felt your phone vibrate and saw that Megumi was calling you.

"Hel-"

"I have your umbrella"

"Yeah I figured *sigh*"

"Where are you? I'll pick you up."

"I'm at the bus shelter, near the school."

"Okay wait there, I'll be-."

The rain poured harder making it hard to hear him over the phone.

"Megumi? I can't hear you?"

No response. You hung up.

He sent a text saying that he was on his way.

Just as the rain had got worse before you heard heavy footsteps of someone running under the bus shelter to.

You looked up from your phone to see a person doubled over, absolutely drenched and exhausted. After a few seconds they caught there breath and stood up, occasionally glancing at you.

"Forget your umbrella to?" He asked politely, just engaging in small talk.

"Ha yeah... I should have checked the weather report today."

"Yeah"

The rain kept going as you two stayed silent.

"Got far to go?" He spoke again, this time looking at you until you faced him.

"Oh well, not really I was just going to run to the school up there but the rain keeps getting worse." You smiled

"School? You don't mean that really small one surrounded by bamboo, do you?"

"That's the one"

"So are you a sorcerer too?"

"How did you know?"

"I'm going to Jujutsu high to"

Back at Megumi's dorm he's getting a weird feeling in his stomach, like something was eating him alive.

"Yeah I'm actually a second year but I was training in another country"

"Really, that's so cool! How come I've never heard of you?"

"Honestly I was a bit of a loser" he laughed and so did you.

"That can't be true, you look so cool and mysterious."

You noticed that it was silent again and you looked over to see that the guy was now looking straight in front of him, ears red.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it awkward..." You said with a nervous chuckle.

"Oh NO, No Not at all" he said even redder now as he stumbled over his words.

"Um, I was just wondering..."

You felt a cold hand intertwine its fingers with yours, to your surprise you saw Megumi standing inbetween you two holding pa wide umbrella.

"Oh Megumi, Hi" you said not noticing the glare he was shooting the guy.

"Hey Fushiguro, how are you?" The guy said nervously scratching the back of his neck.

"I'm fine, Okkotsu, if you don't mind I'll be walking my girlfriend back to the dorms."

The atmosphere got thicker.

"Yeah see you at the school I guess..."

With that Megumi had already started to lead you away with out letting you say goodbye. His hand slowly loosened its grip as he sighed.

"You knew that guy?" You said

"Yeah, he's got a thing for dead girls."

"W-WHAT?"

"Yuta okkotsu, a special grade. He's related to Gojo so we would rarely bump into eachother in the past.

"Special grade?!"

"Y/n what ever you do, don't go messing around with him okay."

You doubted that Yuta was actually a bad person, let alone one who would hurt you. But you couldnt help but listen to Megumi as you saw the jealousy getting to him.

"Okay Gumi, on one condition."

"What?"

" I can talk to him about my amazingly strong good-looking boyfriend." You giggled as you swore Megumi was breaking down inside, movments becoming stiffer and hesitant.

"Whatever"

THANK YOU FOR READING ♡

AUTHOURS NOTE: I'm working on a few fics rn (including the OP ones) but my inbox is nearly empty and my requests are open. Reblogs r welcomed and have a good whatever time.

[lovebunnie]

“so are we just not gonna talk about it?”

spy looks over the edge of his cigarette to the scout, leaning against a wall in feigned nonchalance. he looks agitated with fingers curled into white knuckled fists. he looks ready to hit someone, spy thinks. ever the violent little thing.

“you will have to be more specific.”

scout scoffs. “thats’a no then.”

“say what you want, boy.” the spy exhales his smoke out of the corner of his mouth.

scout's nose crinkles as he steels himself as though preparing to weather a storm. the tension between them feels thick as the spy's already charred lungs feel even more strained. faint redness tinges the boy's cheeks and the spy knows that scout is trying not to cry.

"what good is it if you wont freakin' listen? whats the point in trying to say anything when every one of ya jerks look at me like im not in on it, like im the last to know. i have eyes." scout's frame shakes, turning to face the spy. "im not that stupid, i can connect the dots.”

“you are talking in circles. this game you are playing had no place among coworkers-“

“youre my father, you asshole.”

spy slowly takes his cigarette from his mouth. he lets the silence take hold of the room to mask the feeling of cold dread washing over him. it was never supposed to be this way. “ah, i see,” he mutters.

“yea,” scout spits, “been searching for the bastard my whole life and it freakin’ figures id meet him here, at the end of the world.”

“life is surely funny that way.”

“doesnt feel very funny.”

the spy watches scout shuffle his feet. “you were never supposed to find out like this.”

“dont give me that.” the scout hisses the words and the red raising in his cheeks disguises his smattering of freckles. the spy thinks he looks older like this, settled into his rage. “i wasnt never supposed to know, was i?”

he could lie. he has been lying his whole life and it came to him far easier. there was already a story at the tip of his tongue about waiting for the right time and place, about waiting for when all the bloodshed was over to finally embrace his role as a father. really, he should lie to save his own sanity and peace of mind in the workplace if nothing else.

“no, you were not.” however, the truth sneaks out of spy like an exhale.

the scout jerks a nod and looks away. his throat clicks with the swallowing of tears and the little boy from another lifetime ago is standing right in front of spy all of a sudden. the small hands that grabbed his fingers when he was a newborn now clench onto nothing. wide eyes once full of wonder were now unable to meet his own.

“you were just gonna, what, keep going here until one of us died? everyone was just going to keep this to themselves and let me rot with it?” the scout takes a deep breath. “my ma knows too, doesnt she? has known about it the whole freakin’ time i bet.” he deflates a bit at the mention of his mother.

“she wanted me to keep an eye on you,” the spy says.

at once, something gripes scout and suddenly the rage is back, sparking and sputtering with righteous fury. “jesus christ, again with the lies? you were gonna keep an eye on me, oh, like back when i was a kid and getting my lunch money taken? back when i had to earn my place in the neighborhood just to keep from getting pummeled?” he points a finger. “you never did anything even close to protect me. when ma couldnt pick me up from practice because she was home with the flu, it was benny who came to get me, not you. when i needed field trip permission slips signed, matty taught me how to forge a signature.” one finger becomes two and counts up in time with his words. “randy taught me how to tie my shoes. eddie knew where id always forget my backpack. sammy let me pick any candy i wanted when we went to the grocery store.”

the spy stays silent. no words come to him.

“and when i got here, who showed me where to put my things? it wasnt you spy, it was demo. when i had to ask about my shots getting delivered here, did you go out of your way to make it happen? no, medic did that too. did you ask me what i wanted for breakfast or was that heavy? did my father ever offer to upgrade my weapons or did engie do that?”

the scout, during his scolding, had involuntarily stepped closer and closer to the spy until they were in each other’s faces. the air felt thick, and spy wanted to cloak right now more than anything on earth.

scout steps back. “i didnt need a father then and i sure as hell dont need one now,” he says.

if the world was right and just, spy would apologize right now and say he regretted leaving his son as he did all those years ago. he would promise that the lies ended here. he would promise to start being the father scout deserved, better late then never.

but unfortunately, the world was how it was. “are you quite done?”

scout stares at him for a moment with his jaw somewhat dropped, and the spy feels his heart break at the realization that the scout had had hope in a different outcome.

“youre a real piece of work,” scout grumbles. “lets both forget this happened, okay? dont even bother trying to pretend to care, either. we should both just forget about each other like this, im too tired to deal with any more.” the scout takes a step back before a smirk tugs at his lips and he gives a watery snort. “ya know, life is funny that way. this time, i get to be the one to walk away.”

before spy can try to respond, the scout turns on his heel and walks away, as was his birth right, as was his nature.

like father, like son.

[knnichs]

HIIII, how are you? I hope everything goes well <33 I would like to order gaming x reader, maybe as an accidental kissing session? If it's not too much trouble, thank you very much for reading <33

𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐬   

  —   characters :   ga ming

  —   character(s) are friends with reader, gn!reader, not really an accidental kiss… it had a purpose, mutual pining, this is a work of fiction

      fluff     ,    accidental kiss     ,    modern!au     .      word count : 1.1k

hi there lovely! i changed this up a bit since i couldnt figure out what to write. i hope you dont mind! very extra special tag for @aventurne !!

The movie ends in such a bittersweet way. The protagonist lives her life as a teacher and her sister marries the boy she once loved the most. She looked back at her life in such a happy way now that she also had someone for her.  You sniffle, bringing a tissue to your eyes. Your friend looks at you, eyes filled with worry.

“Are you okay?” He asks, hesitantly bringing his hand to your cheek and wiping away any kind of remaining trail the tear left. You two had planned a little movie date. If you could even call it that–You did it as friends anyway. Yet you never expected the movie you chose to be this… This devastating.

“Mhm–” You sniffle again, cheeks puffing up. You start fanning your face to try and stop crying, but the more you think about it the sadder you get. “That was just. Wow, like I didn’t expect it at all.”

He giggles, laying back comfortably on his seat. He nods, yeah. 

“Think that’ll happen to me too?” You’ve always believed love would never work out the way you wanted it to. For you, of course. I mean, your friends are all in happy relationships–marriages for some and you’re stuck at this golden age, single. 

“With the amount of unrequited love stories you’ve watched? At this point, I’m starting to believe it will.” Ga ming teases you. 

“That hurt a little, `ming.” Crossing your arms pretending to be upset.

“Oh–Oh I'm sorry,” He says sarcastically, laughing. “Let’s not forget what happened with La La Land.”

“Whatever! I doubt you’ll be getting a partner in the near future anyway; So we're in the same boat.”

He grins, “Really now?”

You nod frantically. Going on a short rant about how his personality is so explosive it causes the other people’s social battery to die out immediately, or how he’s so active all the time you never get a break from all the activities you guys do. Or how his smile is so captivating, maybe how his face is so bewitching.

“Don’t know. All I'm hearing is you like me so much it's killing you.”

“I do not!” 

“Sure.” 

Yeah. Maybe you do like him. A lot, maybe a bit more. He’s cast a spell on your heart and you can’t undo it–It’s a curse and a blessing all at the same time. What if you like your best friend? It’s not like he felt the same way anyway. Well he might, with the mixed signals he’s been giving you. But he’s nice to everyone–He’s like that to everyone. And it has always been like that from the very start.

He looks at you in a way that squeezes and twists at your chest; He smiles at you in a way that causes all the butterflies to fly from its cage in your stomach and you feel so lightheaded when you two laugh together. You’re lost in the way he’s so caring, and it makes you feel sick and selfish wanting him for all yourself.

But that's just how you feel. For all you know–He might just be leading you on, and you’ll find out once you admit your feelings to him right now at this moment.

It's so difficult not to blurt it out. The love from your heart is escaping and taking this tension between you as its new home. You just look at him as he takes in the surroundings of your venue, with the warm fairy lights emitting a glow that makes him look more ethereal by the moment, and with the couch that has his hair all fluffed up. But it’s just now that you notice how bright his eyes look, how the shine compliments the red hues so perfectly. Just now that you see the little fangs on his teeth and how his face scrunches up so right whenever he smiles widely. You wonder how he’ll look when you two grow old, how much will change within those years.

You can’t be his, it’ll ruin you in more ways than one.

“You’re awfully quiet, was the movie that bad?” His concern is enough to melt the walls you’ve worked too hard to build around your heart. He will ruin your inner peace, is it weird that you would let him?

You don’t dare answer.

“Hey, look at me.” 

He brings his hands to your cheeks, making you face him. You feel stupid in love, it's like you just can’t get enough air to your lungs because even that is filled with the scent of him.

“Talk to me, what’s wrong?” 

His eyes wander from your lips to your own eyes, looking for any kind of sign that you don't feel good. You place your hand on top of his and gently press your cheek against him more. You warned yourself, this is a bad idea. But you never listen, not once. 

Now he’s kissing you in a way that’s going to screw you up forever.

It’s soft, the way he handles you so gently. As if you’re some kind of porcelain that’s a little too fragile. You’re regretting everything that brought you to this moment but you’re not complaining one bit.

And it was short-lived. It wasn’t even a kiss, it was a peck on the lips. He was scared that you wouldn’t feel the same way, because somehow maybe you didn’t fall in love with your best friend who you’ve had multiple dimsums with. The friend that held you in your darkest moments and the friend who wished for all your partners to somehow quit playing with your feelings so he could be the one to be there for you instead.

Oh god, you were inlove. And so was he–and maybe even more than you.

“I didn’t mean to do that.” He stammered. Cheeks red and yours the same. You two were affected under the same spell you put on each other. “I swear–You just looked too pretty. I couldn't help it.”

It feels like you’ve just discovered love. Like you were the only one to know how it feels to be in love with someone. The tension is gone and all you’re feeling is pure adoration from him, from the way he stares at you with an expression you’ve never seen before.

Someday, this will end. But for now? You’ll be treasuring the moment in a way you’re sure no one else has.

characters belong to their respective companies. everything is written by staarri - do not steal, reupload, translate, modify or feed my work to ai.

[d1xonscult]

Kissing Daryl Dixon would include…

What I think kissing Daryl Dixon would be like <3

let me know if you would want more of these type of post, and what you would like to read :)

Warnings: none I think

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

- I think it would take him a lot of time to find the courage to kiss you

- so i’m pretty sure you’d have to make the first move

- you guys are obviously in love with each other so it definitely kept him up at night while he tries to figure out how to make the first move

- you already had the ‘i think i’m in love with you’ talk so he feels even more pressured to finally kiss you

- he was literally so overwhelmed and almost started making out with a pillow or something just to not get you disappointed when it finally happens

- there were many moments where he could’ve kissed you, but it’s always his fear of not being good enough

- but one day he woke up and is sure, today i’m gonna do it

- you are out scavenging when you crossed paths with a horde of Walkers

- so had to hide in an empty tree (like Carl and Enid did iykyk)

- there were just inches in between you and you both could feel your bodies craving each others lips

- you both just wanted to finally kiss

- so you just went for it

- ngl it caught him by surprise, but he placed his hands on your hips as you pulled him close to you by his leather vest

- dude was so caught off guard

- pulling away for a second when he just grunted and you apologized for the sudden kiss

- ‘wanted to do that for so long’ is probably what he wanted to say

- but instead he just stared you up and down and leaned in again to kiss you because he just couldnt find the right words

- super soft kiss

- and surprisingly, he’s alctually quite good at kissing

- but maybe it was just you being so damn in love with him that it wouldn’t matter if he wasn’t

- no tongue at first but as the kiss goes on you both slowly include each others tongues

- he 100% tastes like cigarettes

- you can tell he’s very insecure about it, so you cup his face and place your forehead against his to just smile

- you can feel his heart racing as his chest is pressed against yours

- but let’s not forget you were probably just as nervous as him

- his hands are very warm so he slid them under your shirt as neither of you wanted to stop the kiss

- this was also the start of your relationship because there’s no way you guys want to ever stop kissing

[justafairytailofinnocence]

Hii hope all is well 💜. Can I please request Jack Sparrow being in love headcanon? Thanks if approved! 😊

Hello dear 💖, thanks for your request.

Jack sparrow being in love 😍

This wasn't planned, nor thought out in any sense of emotions.

Jack being in love was something rare.

Sparrow had his ways with women. A corsair of the buccaneers, a Casanova of the seven seas.

Jack had many admirers and lovers; angelica, giselle, and scarlett, esmerelda, even Tia Dalma at one point.

Jack avoided you, and he deceived you. He didn't want to believe he was in love, such a cliche thing, really. A pirate falling for a woman/man/person and they live happily ever after on the pearl.

Jack sparrow hid in the most unusual places, even when you weren't expecting it.

Jack spent nights in tortuga ravishing himself with pretty wenches to take his mind off. But even then, when he came lip to lip with them, he didn't kiss them. Instead his mind thought of you.

He couldn't be in love, he didn't want to. He valued the freedom and the sea. He was committed to the sea and his ship.

Jack spent his days trying to figure out what his feelings were, why he valued you, or rather felt the "weird things" when you were around.

One night Master Gibbs was out with his bottle of rum "a yo ho ho, a pirate's life fo-".

"Psssst, Matser Gibbs" Jack whispered.

"Cap'n, be tha yer? Where ar' yer" Gibbs looked around the main deck.

Master Gibbs walked up to a bunch of cargo with a big barrell.

Gibbs looked inside the barrell to see Jack, hidden inside.

"Did they see me?" Jack's pupils turned left and right.

"What's wrong Jack, why ar' ya hidin', who ar' ya hiding from" Gibbs asked.

"Is it tha' kraken? As Jones spotted our ship, Gibbs looked worriedly.

"No mate, even worse than that," Jack stood up from the barrell.

"Her?/him?/them?" He whispered.

"Her?/him?/them?" Gibbs replied.

"The lass/lad/y/n," Jack muttered.

"The lass?/the lad?/y/n?" Gibbs questioned further.

Gibbs soon caught on to who Jack meant. "Ye mean, y/n, the landlubber."

"Ohhh, ar' they a spy from tha navy." Gibbs tried to realise,"I knew it, Jack, tha's why I said I didn't trust them from the moment they first docked."

"I've been having these," he gestures with his hands. "Things."

"Wha-what sort o' thins, ave' ye caught scurvy?" Gibbs still couldn't make sense of what Jack meant.

"You know, things, things that make you feel... funny," he couldn't make into words. How could he? It's not like Jack's ever felt this way before.

"So yer feel funny when ye see--ohhh Jack" Gibbs realised finally what was going on.

"Are ye, in love?" Gibbs smiled. "Aye I remember the first time I be tha way, and let me tell yer, she was a fine lass, one I couldn't forget".

"Turned out tha next mornin', I couldnt find er'-- or rather, she wasn't even human, Aye, Turned out ta be but a sack o' oranges" Gibbs rambled about his drunken tale.

Jack got out of the barrell and took Master Gibbs's rum and swung it down his gullet.

"Aye, I remembered that, bieleved that sack was named sally or martha, hm, also that night I do recall nearly losing a finger or two from that wager, was worth it though, got that map in the end" Jack explained.

"Aye, Is that how we ended up cursed" Gibbs leaned against the big oak railing of the main deck.

"The pearl's already cursed mate, I'm just the captain of it" Jack threw the rum over board.

"So whaddya gonna tell er/im/em then" Master Gibbs asked.

"I'll do em one better, ill set them off at some fancy port and they can tell their friends of how a devlelish, delightful captain Jack Sparrow saved them from the clutches of a bunch of rutheless scoundrels" Jack agreed.

"Now that sounds like a tale to behold, don't it?" Jack smiled.

"Jack, ye can't just abandon tha poor thing" Gibbs sympathised.

"Ye did that already--on an island" Gibbs recalled.

"Jack" a woman/man/person called from the distance.

Jack gestured with his hands for Gibbs to move.

"You never saw me, savvy?" Jack scurried away.

Jack would be like this for a while but eventually you would confront him about why he was acting strang-er.

Jack would come clean and admit "the world's a funny place innit darlin, things I can't explain between you and I, happens from me always wondering about you, wondering in Tortuga, wondering when I drink rum, wondering about these...things". He continued with a smile, "Things for you mate".

"Hm, does sound a bit cliche to say 'I love you' don't it" Jack places his first finger on his chin.

Jack leaned toward you "Hmmm, how about rather, your enduring, I can't figure out why I'm besotted to you"

"Suppose it ain't gonna sound cliche to say--" he admitted. "I loved you mate, I always have, I always will".

You blushed with astonishment. You had no idea yet it made sense for Jack's behaviour recently.

You could kiss him, and that would be that. You could marry him, and that's the end of your love story. You could sail with him, entailing the fantasy of many countless women, men, or anyone with pirates--or--rather.

You chose to endure the freedom as Jack did, being two souls that understood each other when no one else did.

A rather more passionate romance then the tales of Will and Elizabeth.

Jack was no fool when he was in love. A legendary captain like him would grant you protection.

Though for Jack, would it truly be the end? No, of course not, it only means another chapter is written in the tales of the captain.

Anyways that's all I have for now:

Ta Ta ✨️

[whiteoutzz]

so this post... yeah i am having alot of fun. yeah nobody can stop me and once im done with the script i might just get to the longfic i have planned. yeah its fun

[id: drawing of Arctic and Darkstalker standing in front of eachother; both of them have pointy shapes, with darkstalker's mane being much shorter and covering only the neck, while Arctic's covers the whole chest. Both of them have tufts on their foreheads and are looking at eachother angrily, Arctic bit more reserved while Darkstalker's anger is louder. Arctic has his wings pinned down while Darkstalker's are standing up. Arctic has blue string tied around his snout, while darkstalker has blue stitches around his mouth. Behind them there is a blue web on top of a purple background; but what covers most of it is a silhouette of Queen diamond, pure white with blue eyes, her wings spread out, iron crown with blue gems embedded in it. / end id]

(putting the story under the cut; cw for torture)

the general story is; before darkstalker kills arctic, he gets a vision clear enough it makes him stop. he sees his mother foeslayer, knowing she is alive. arctic still confessed but isn't physically harmed yet; clearsight confirms the vision but looks bit sad and confused, like she is hiding something from him, but can't tell why. darkstalker rips out bit of his scroll, but rest is confiscated so he can only cast few spells (breaking it would have similar effect; his spells would be very limited and small). he lets arctic go but follows him to the ice kingdom, enchanting himself to be invisible. he follows him for a while before getting distracted and eventually finds the tunnels; he frees foeslayer but almost as soon she is gone (and protected; he made sure to word the spell so she can't be taken back. he put it directly on her after all) and is caught by queen diamond. arctic is forced to marry snowflake again, and both of them are very miserable about it. its horrible. meanwhile darkstalker gets tortured in the caves. first diamond couldnt hurt him physically, but quickly she figured that one; he didnt make himself unable to feel pain, and two; he forgot to enchant his insides too. spell loopholes and all that she enchants him so his organs regenerate no matter how damaged, so he cant die trough that type of injury then stabs him through the mouth. she figures out more and more creative ways to hurt him later. one day she brings arctic, thinking that would be his final push, to kill his own son, but she is almost surprised how little arctic cares about darkstalker. he stabs him trough the mouth but inside arctic feels bit weird about it, especially seeing his son bleed blue. but he does not think about that. or tries to atleast.

but he tries to figure out a plan, especially that he was allowed to visit darkstalker after that, seeing that care wasnt there and he could be used as a tool of torture. but maybe he doesnt want his life to end like that. he offers darkstalker to make a plan to escape, but first he refuses. also maybe tries to talk with snowflake and while both still hate echother and snowflake is still rightfully angry for what arctic did to her, maybe they have shred of solidarity for once. and you know the whole thing with both of them already having partners and you know. things look bad but maybe darkstalker at some point will want out enough that he will agree to the plan, but for now; to be continued

(also "oooh why arctic now wants to escape even if he came back willingly?" sometimes u forget how bad things were until you experience them again)

(meanwhile in night kingdom there is a civil war happening, but i dont have details about it yet. but its fun)

[daringsunflowers]

@adoratixns​​ ok here lmao

 carson wasn’t the typical type to go to eat at a restaurant alone, but after a basketball game on saturday - he opts to treat himself. that fact that he’d won a couple bucks gambling on a few games only gave him more reason. he dressed in a nicer outfit than his usual nike shorts and sandals. he was still figuring out, as he walked up to the front doors of the restaurant - (should i go in here alone? losers eat alone. am i a loser? did i really get dressed up to go on a date with myself?) the thoughts vanish as the hostess speaks to him, brings him back to reality. “yeah, just me.” (how embarrassing). he’s then sat at a table, checks the time on his watch before picking up the menu. deep blue eyes glance over the front just before he’s greeted, and those same blue eyes capture the gaze of his waitress. there’s a pause in his thinking as he looks her over. almost forgets how to speak. while she’s stunning, there’s another reminder that he’s dining alone. confirmation that he is the biggest loser in the entire restaurant right now. her questions continue, and he finally musters up with something to say. “i’m still looking, yeah- what do you think? what do you normally get?” he ignored her question about his company, or the lack there of. maybe he could say that he’s waiting and being stood up would make him look less like a failure. “i’ll take a whiskey shot.. i should have it all figured out by then, darlin’.” he flashed her a smile, southern accent was strong and profound behind his words. eyes leave her gaze and falter back to the menu in his hands. 

dallas tried not to frown when he had mentioned that he was alone. that was always the embarrassing part of her job. she had always felt like such a dick asking if they were waiting for someone. the next thing she was train to do was ask if they wanted her to remove the extra water glass and silverware on the table but she felt like she had made enough of an ass of herself just asking if he was alone. when he had looked up the first thing she had noticed was his deep blue eyes, the next was his smile. he had to have the most gorgeous smile that she had seen in this place. it had caught her off guard for a moment but she quickly directed her attention back to him when he had spoke once more.   

"i don't normally eat here." the female confessed. she had worked so long at the restaurant she had gotten so burnt out on anything Italian.  "the closest thing i can stomach to Italian food now a days is a meatball sub at that little food truck out on 5th." she admitted as she laughed nervous. she couldnt believe she had said that out loud. if her boss had heard her she would for sure be getting her ass handed to her. "how about i start you with a nice shot of whiskey, follow it up with my favorite glass of wine i recommend and when i come back i may be able to suggest a few good things to you? i’m dallas so if you need anything between then and now just let me know. ” she offered noticing the thick accent he was sporting. he certainly wasn’t from new york and it showed. d didnt want to feel like a creep just standing there in awe at his table so she quickly shuffled her feed and went to get his shot and a glass of her favorite sangiovese. once she returned she sat it down in front of him. “okay, i think i have a suggestion of you havent made your mind up.”

[fanficfish]

Why i love honkai star rail as a disabled player, part 2

part one

alright time for part teo now that im properly into the game. Ive added it to my phone now so this will also cover the mobile. I also dont rememebr what i talked about the first time so forgive any repition

spoilers as usual

Mobile controls are so easy. Im sure i mentioned how intuitive the controls are but its the same for both pc and mobile (idk about any other platform). And its vwry easy to jump from one platform to another, no rememembering where buttons are kn different decices. As long as youve played videogames before it all makes sense.

The turn based stuff is still great. I love battling, and i hate numbers but ive actuslly gotten into my characters and their stats. Like, in what world? Its satisying seeing s character do an AoE and then everything dorps becaus elf the high damage output, turn base goves some nice opportunity to admire your work.

i will say im not into some of the outfits of the characters. Seele is a bit much for a girl livijg in an underground crazytown and Bronya's cloak looks like a safety hazard. Herta is msotly fine (a bit short but ig it work since shes basically in doll form) but March....honey please we walked through a freaking blizzard and you were the one in nothing but a sumeme dress. Did the ice make you immune??? Clara i can understand though, and i have heard Seele was based off her H3 design but still. Some of those outifts look a little inlpractical....then again its a gacha game where the main selling poitnsbare "lookat out cool characters". And i like the male trailblazers ourfit mroe then the male traveller from Genshin

music. Omg i love the music so much. You dont even knwo. Ive been singing the melodies all weekened. Its gonan be one of those legendary themes i think

font size. Good on Pc, wish it was slightly bigger kn mobile esspecislly for some stuff where being sble to see the words is usually a good thing.

Pom pom. Unlike Paimon, they are not mildly annoying and are very cute. They need to be protected at all costs especislly from the memory guardian person. The Breakfast light cone is just so funny too lol. This has nothign to do with the design or anything i just needed to say jt.

even as a FTP player its actually pretty easy to get stuff if you dont mind apending a few mintues or an hour chasing down a frw achivements even just playing the mossions can nab you the premium currency and the grind is the least annoying thing ive played since Monster Super League (which was annoying but was the point kf the game so i couldnt fault it). And dont forget the freebies and gifts! And level rewards! And 50 other things!

Traces. Relics, and light cones are all vpretry intuitive menus. Took me a hot minute to figure out how tk level up a character but now i got it. As long as you know vaguely what atats you need ktsball good.

thats all i really have for now, ill make a part three if j think of more. I did want to add that if you have shaky hands, not having to aim March's bow or aim for an enemy and just tap where the enmh is in the turn based is so much ncier.

[ohmytomorrowisthursday]

Until I Fall - Part Eight

Levi Ackerman x Fem Reader.

Eventual romance but this is a slow burn, definitely angsty and darker. It will also focus a lot on Hange, Erwin and the original scouts. Eren and the 104th training corps will be around but I’m focusing on the older characters in here. Your self insert name is ‘Azeria Becker’ pronouns She/Her/Hers. Using a name because don’t like using ‘y/n’.  

Cannon universe. I wrote this for myself but I hope that you enjoy it, too lol <3

As you stood in front of Levi on that final day, you couldnt help but remember every last moment of your time in the scouts. How had you gone from that scrawny young rookie trying to fight titans to Erwin’s right-hand soldier who overthrew the government and was about to charge to your death? It was never fair, you’d never get enough time together. Standing before him, his eyes full of the sadness of the truth, it hurt too much to say Goodbye, don’t forget me. I’ll love you forever, so instead you said the only word that you could manage to speak; Survive.

cw: imagine literally every awful/gory thing that happens in SNK. Death, violence and gore. Drinking, sex.

I will be releasing 2 chapters at a time every few days. You can find all chapters here.

After dinner, you wanted to go out and see your horse. Bringing a brush and some apples in a bucket, you headed over for the stables. It was quiet and the air was cold. Winter was just beginning to thaw but in the evenings you wouldn't know the difference. You usually groomed your horse once a week but knowing that the expedition was only in  a few days you wanted to make her feel extra loved. Who knew if she would make it back. Out of the darkness you saw Levi walking over toward you, his figure barely visible in the evening light.

"I didn't know your sister joined the scouts too," Levi said, gesturing to the horse.

He was so annoying. "You know, for such a small man you have a big mouth," You replied, pointing at him with the brush. He smiled a little, offering your horse one of the apples from the bucket.

"What's her name?" He asked. He seemed a lot milder than usual, his grey eyes had softened from their normal stare. From where you stood, he looked smaller than he normally did. Perhaps it was the light, or that he was finally disarmed around you. Levi was just a man when he wasn't being the Scouts strongest soldier. It was oddly comforting to come to that conclusion and see him being so gentle with another living thing.

"Her name is Bunnie," replied. You couldn't stop looking at him, and when you did it gave you those same butterflies you had felt at dinner when he smiled at you. You had never spent time alone with him outside of training. He had a much more laid back disposition when he wasn't trying to hunt you down with ODM gear and his swords. He smiled when you told him her name and rubbed Bunnie's nose. He was so sweet with her, and it made you blush just to see him act so nice. Why are you so handsome, Levi? You looked away and kept brushing Bunnie, happy to have a moment of peace and quiet as the sky darkened. He scratched her behind the ears and leaned his face past her neck to look at you.

"Not bad for your first day out," He said, you let out a little hum because you were so flattered you couldn't speak. He turned to look out into the field, "I hope that Erwins signal system works. It would be nice to spare some soldiers."

You had never spoken about work before, why were you so shy around him? You tried to stay calm and continued to focus on Bunnie. "I do too. He seems to be pretty confident that it will help." You kept brushing away.

"Azeria," Levi said. It made you still and you looked at him, he was standing beside you, facing you with a stoic face, "If you were told to die, could you do it?"  He looked into your eyes, serious and searching. You paused, trying to find the answer that he was looking for on his face. Finally, you thought and spoke, "When I joined the Survey Corps, I knew what I was getting into. I don't want to die, but sometimes an individuals wants and needs aren't as important as the greater good. I would do it, if I knew that it was going to help."

His eyes stayed fixed on you, his expression stern. Finally, he walked to the edge of the stable gate, looking out into the field, "Life can be such a sick joke. Why is fate for humanity either getting eaten alive by titans or ripping each other apart from within our own walls?"

"I mean, that's why we're here," you said, joining him, "At least, that's why I'm here. I want to believe that there is more to this world than fear and hatred. Even if it means doing the violent things that I hope to stop. I'll kill as many titans as I need to- even myself if it means that humanity will have a better future for it."

"That's noble of you, but don't try and die a hero. You've only been out there once, and you know that for every expedition we go on, there are dozens that don't come back. Just kill the shit out of those bastards and come home. There's no shame in defeat if it means saving lives." He voice was stern and cold and his shoulders tense. You thought about his past.

"I'm sorry about your friends from the underground. I'm sure it wasn't easy to lose them, but after meeting you, I'm certain they gave those titans hell," You offered, his eyes lowered to the ground. "Thank you. They were good people."

You looked up to the sky above you, the stars now looking down at the two of you, "I'm sure that they're watching and rooting for you." He smiled, but he was still melancholic.

He looked over to you again, the edge of his face illuminated by the moonlight, "I'm happy that you asked me to train you," He said, his eyes made you melt and you couldn't move.

"I'm happy that you said yes," you replied. For a moment, the two of you were the only things that mattered in the world. Even the stars disappeared as you looked into his face. I cant do this, you thought, It's not right to feel these things about my squad member. Finally you cleared your throat and brushed your hair out of your face, Levi following suit and shifting his gaze away from you. You nudged him on the arm, "Do you know that I kind of hated you when I was  in training?"

He smirked, "Why?"

"Because you are so skilled and strong and fast and you didn't even need to train for years to get here. I was so jealous and hoping that you'd suck, but no; you're amazing, you've got to be the most skilled person in the scouts by a mile," you were exasperated.

"I promise you, brat, I'm not all that great." He looked down at his feet. Is he blushing?

"Yeah, you're right," You replied, leaning against the door frame and facing him with your body, "I'll make sure to let all of your hoards of screaming fans know that."

He faced you, looking  amused, "There's not hoards-"

"-There are hoards! You have half of the unmarried women in Shiganshina running to wave you goodbye. Not to mention who knows how many other women in the other districts."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, "So what?" He was so ridiculous, "So what?! Every other man in this squad would beg to be in your position!"

"They can have 'em," He replied, shooing the air with his hand. "You don't want them?" He sternly shook his head.

You cocked your head to the side,  "What do you want, then?"

He looked at you for a long while, his grey eyes deep in thought. He finally let out a sigh, and looked away, "It doesn't matter. Besides, our career doesn't really suit hopes and dreams unless you're dreaming of violently killing big ugly brainless bastards."

You nudged his shoulder, "I mean, Levi if you're looking for some big ugly brainless bastards you don't need to go out of the walls; the Military Police are full of them." That made him laugh. "Come on idiot, let's get some rest."

The two of you walked back to the dormitories together side by side, he had never seemed so close to you or so far away.

part nine coming soon!

[sedat3dfawn]

More rambling to stick in here and maybe ill forget about it and ill depress my digital footprint even more who knows

Anyways

I think i hate you sometimes

And ill say it through gritted teeth and wet eyes that make the summer humidity even harder to deal with

I called you a stupid cunt and screamed i hate you in my car but the truth is i dont really know why

Sometimes i catch myself thinking of sending you a tiktok or a meme because i dont know anybody else that would find the same worth in them like you would

Cause we had our own little jokes and rhythms that no one else super understood

But i do hate that i couldnt be enough, i never could

You dont understand what i mean about that but give an honest look at our history and the amount of times you abandoned me because you were bored and had a goal in mind that i could never give

Its hidden and its personal but its cis validation and i can sympathize with this to a point. Youd do anything to get that temporary fix even when it means breaking a soul tie that is withered and frail

I hate that i spent so many hours and days and weeks- skip the filler words lets be cut and clear- i spent literal years visually carving my body and interests and talents trying so hard to be you because everyone loves you and wants you instead

I can never be myself around you because i spend the entire time trying to master the art of shape shifting so i can be a little more like you

You get everything and everyone you want

I hate you when i think on it for longer than 10 minutes because while i can also love you i dont think i can ever like you again

Ive spent a majority of my teenage years riding a trauma bond with you and burning bridges to keep you around but it is not enough. It will not be enough.

You dont like me you like the idea that someone will stay no matter what; that unwavering and selfless love that says ill never judge you and ill never leave is meant for a pet not a fucking best friend

What happened to the nights wed mutually assure each other that no one understood us like we did and that no one would ever be able to compare

I hate that you will never grow up and you will never see the damage that you also played a hand in- i will always believe that you did this on purpose and that you never wanted me you only wanted what i had

I hate that i know youre not who you used to be and that you are doing better and making progress comparitively, because that means that the things that have stayed that continue to hurt are not just environmental.

We could be under blankets surrounded by fur and warmth and youd still cut me open like we were covered in thorns and briars. You will not change underneath every identity crisis you are bound to have.

You can change your hair, your clothes, your makeup, your name and pronouns but you cannot change the fact that you are perpetually stuck in this loop of being a fucking bully

I wasnt a saint compared and i wasnt innocent but that never meant i deserved to be under your boot

And you left to chase another guy who only wants your body. You will repeat the cycle because you chase a temporary high in everything you do. Recovery means being honest with your therapist and yourself, not trying to figure out how to best tell a story to get extra followers on your app dedicated for a cry for help

I dont want you back, i dont need you back, i have no desire to talk to you hopefully ever again

I still love you but i do not need you to survive like i was molded to think. You keep me around like a pet to play with when its raining outside. Youre so predictable i used to be able to say exactly when youd come back around

Love is not a trauma bond and you are not healthy for me. I do not like you. I want to hurt you and say things i dont mean. But ill say it with so much vindiction that i could have you fooled.

[lionlowfield]

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

𝓂𝑒𝓂𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓎: accepting | 𝓂𝑒𝓂𝑒: here

"Yes," the word leapt from his lips before the questioned had even been finished. Pausing, he offered an awkward chuckle in excuse of his outburst. Taking a deep breath, he then tried again; this time slower and more focused.

"Well, actually, yes and no. It was complicated. After I left home and was bouncing around on my own, doing whatever I had to in order to get by, I crossed paths with a wolf. He wasn't a good man, mind you, but he was good to me. He had a tendency to take young weres like me off the streets and give them a home; he'd turn them out for profit or put them to work stealing for him. It was a lucrative business for him...." Alston explained with a huff of his breath. "He took me in but unlike everyone else he refused to let me turn tricks; I learned how to pickpocket from some of his other men but he never used me for that either. He just... kept me around."

"I know that sounds like a pretty decent set up. I had a warm bed to sleep in, a rough over my head, meals provided for me, fresh clothes on my back-- but it was hell, for me. I was still young, still figuring things out, but one thing I knew was that I wanted him and no matter what I did, or how I tried to present myself to him, he ignored my advances. His men even started teasingly referring to me as his cub because he was often scolding me or telling me to behave like a father would their child."

"My heats, when I was with him, were unbearable. He'd give me suppressants to try and help make them more manageable but he wouldn't even touch me; and he wouldn't let his men touch me either."

"I knew, because all he did was deny me, that I couldn't have sex with him but I still, to this day, don't understand why. What was I doing wrong? Why didn't he want to fuck me-- and it's not like he was celibate, he took a different one of his whores to be every night, but never me."

"Gods, it made me so insane that after I finally left his care I--" he paused, clearing his throat with a slight cough before lowering his voice as he continued, "--I practically threw myself at everyone I met. I wanted to get him out of my head and forget how horrible it felt to be told I wasn't wanted. I recognize that what I'm about to say is going to sound arrogant as hell but oh fucking well, right? I'm not used to men turning me down. Usually if I want them to fuck me, it's pretty damn easy to make it happen."

"--but not him, no matter what I did."

--and Alston is clearly over it, seeing as it happened years ago.

[rightxonxmain-archived]

smolcuriouskitten:

Onyx being well rested from her nap, started her routine and finished with good time. She had to be discreet with her way of dressing so she wore normal street clothes and changed outside to not raise suspicion. Kissing Brian goodbye and shooting a glare at the little blue guy, she went to a telephone pole nearby where she called her client.

They gave her instructions and told her about the job which she gave a code word as confirmation. Hanging up, she snaps her fingers to change into her work uniform, an all black bodysuit with flats and her hair in a tight braid. No jewelry or heels, she couldnt risk getting grabbed or being heard. Before she carries out the job, she likes to observe the victims to try and figure out the best approach.

Her target was a local crooked politician. He was one of the cases that was difficult to tell when he wasnt hated by everyone. She doesnt care about that, all she cares about is the money and the job getting done. She didnt feel like being bothered with an angry client. Scaling a building using her magic, she hears a familiar voice nearby, hiding in the shadows to not be seen in the dim light. Her heart stopped when she seen Brian, getting frisked and kissed and gropped by a woman.

She wanted to step in, she wanted to kill the woman and make it painful, something she was an expert at if the moment called for it. As much as she wanted to go cry in a corner and not come out of it, she still had a job to do, swallow the tears for now. You cant risk blowing your cover. As much as she wanted to make this a moment she can forget, she knew she had to talk to Roxie before doing anything. If she didnt, Brian would be 6 feet under and Alymer would be an afterthought. So begrudgingly, she took a picture with a camera and put it away. Hopefully by then it would process after all the time that would pass.

Her anger was shown blantantly in the kill she did. Her work was sloppy and she used the victim to take out all of her anger for the moment even if that was boiling over. When the job was done, she calls the client from a phone in the room, politicians have several phones, sleezebags. They exchange the code word and leave each other where they are, not bothering to clean up the body. The client wanted to send a statement to their local government so she was instructed to leave it there and make a mess so to speak. She was grateful given how pissed she was.

'Dont you dare go home. Come to furballs house first.' Roxie's voice rang in her head as she left the building, her bodysuit and face covered in blood. She wanted to ignore her sister, tell her to fuck off, and finish Brian off herself for breaking her heart and trust. The very thought of seeing his face made her violent but Roxie kept chiming in. 'Dont you dare! Bring your ass here!' 'If you do something stupid, Im not helping you!' A loud and annoyed groan left her lips as she snapped her fingers to teleport to Rockelle's house.

The house was in good condition but it was the place where she moved to in order to get away from the thought of her abusive ex. She hasnt left her house in over 50 years and Roxie had free reign, being able to roam freely and cause her more pain without consequence. Things were good for her sister, no matter how much she hated the treatment of Rockelle. She didnt care for the woman much but she knew how it felt to be abused and teased relentlessly after. She knew she hated it just as much as she did back in assassin school.

Roxie opened the door before she could even knock and Onyx silently looks at her. "You look like shit. I felt your aura jump. Are you- WOAH-" Roxie starts then was firmly grabbed and sobbed on, Onyx's cries filling the air while Roxie cringes. "Hey hey you are getting blood all over me! What happened?! Are you okay?!" She asks and Onyx could only speak in cryish (a form of crying gibberish) and hand gestures. While Rockelle lived in a secluded area, she knew someone would hear her sisters wail of a cry. "Okay okay lets get you inside, shh shh." Roxie practically yanks her in and sits her down on the couch.

Rockelle promptly glares at Roxie for getting blood on her couch. "Hey, I will clean it later, let me help my sister first." Roxie barks and Rockelle waves her hand, going back to cooking herself food. "Onyx, look at me. Take a deep breath okay?" She demonstrates and Onyx follows, albiet shakily and sniffs, tears running down her face. "Now can you tell me what happened? I havent seen you cry at all since...'47! You never show anything! What made you-" Roxie began to ramble and Onyx shows the picture. It fully processed by now and Onyx began to wail again, shaking and sobbing.

"Dont tell me you seen another dead animal on the...side...walk." Roxie looked over the picture and her heart dropped, understanding why her sister was so unconsolable. It was Brian getting sucked off, in a dirty alley by some woman that wasnt her sister. Now you would think Roxie would console her, tell her everything will be okay, but Roxie wasnt normal. The woman began to laugh, a loud belly laugh filled the air and Onyx stopped crying briefly to look at her, Rockelle poking her head out of the kitchen to see what the laughter was about.

"What...in the fuck is so funny about that?" Onyx asks amist her tears and Roxie wiped the tears away, snorting. "Your boyfriend is so much of a loser he couldnt even get a hotel room to cheat in! Oh thats ri-" She began to tease until Onyx pointed a gun at her which clammed her up quickly. Rockelle quickly ducked in fear of a shot ringing out. "Dont you EVER laugh at my misfortune. Theres not jack shit funny about this." Onyx said as the gun was taken off safety which Roxie lowers it, looking at her sister with a deadpanned expression. "Im not laughing at you dumbass. Im laughing at him for being that stupid. Cheating on you? Then doing it in public? He must have clearly been out of it! You didnt kill him though did you? Besides, you dont have any bullets left, you are getting sloppy sis." And with that, Roxie snatches the gun and throws it across the room.

"Shut up, I wanted to scare you." Onyx said, her expression going back to sad, tears still rolling down her face. "No. No I didnt kill him. I came here you idiot. Now are you going to help me or not?!" The woman asked, still upset about the revelation of her beloved cheating. "Pump the breaks spazoid. Im saying your boyfriend is so much a loser, him getting you was a miracle. You really think he would just cheat like that, risking you seeing it on one of your 'walks?' Better yet, did he even show signs of wanting to cheat? This isnt exactly something that would 'come out of nowhere' if he never leaves the house." Roxie explained which made Onyx even more upset. "How dare you discredit what I seen?! The evidence is there and Im a former sex worker! What if-" She starts and Roxie shakes her head. "No, if he went in with intention to cheat, you would have known it. You have intuition of a damn hawk and you would have seen it before it ever happened. What did you do before you left today?"

"We...We cuddled. And he talked about a future with me." Onyx replied and Rockelle thought about it for a moment. "Can..Can I see that picture really quick?" She chimes in and Roxie scowls. "No you fucking idiot! What do you-" She starts and Onyx points a knife at her which shuts her up, handing the picture over silently. "I dont care what happens in this house when Im not here but you wont make fun of her in front of me. She can see it, its fine." Onyx corrects and Roxie growls as Onyx puts the knife away.

"As I was saying, I dont think he just cheated to cheat. Even IF a woman convinced him to, it doesnt seem likely. He fumbled and was a huge zeeko! You cannot tell me he wouldnt just nervously talk and-" Roxie continued then Rockelle chimes in. "Um...May I ask an intimate question Onyx?" Which makes Roxie reach to grab one of Onyx's knives but the woman stops her by grabbing her wrist with a vice grip making her squeal. "Go for it." Onyx responds and Rockelle slowly brought the picture closer, showing a sleeve of blue in the womans mouth. "Is...Is Brians dick blue?" Rockelle asks timidly and Roxie snatches the picture with a free hand. "Your meds must not be working! You have GOT to he joking, theres no way in hell his dick is-" A pause. "Oh shit it is blue." Roxie said and Onyx takes the picture away, releasing her sisters wrist, taking a closer look at the picture.

It was blue. His dick was blue. Onyx silently got up and felt her blood boiling over even more this time. Both Rockelle and Roxie immediately cowered away, knowing when Onyx is silent, shes a very deadly woman. "Um...sis...Did you-" Roxie starts and Onyx looked over at them both with red eyes, making them flinch. "You shouldnt go out covered in blood...It might scare someone." Rockelle chimes in, which Onyx snaps her fingers, changing her outfit and getting the blood off of her face and body. With the picture in hand, she walks out of the door, the two women left to wonder who was the unlucky bastard who caused this.

Onyx arrived home, not acknowledging a crying Brian on the couch. The picture she had, dropped from her clenched fist onto the coffee table, nearby Brian. Her gaze was stoic and icy, red as the blood she wished to rip from Alymer by hand. This behavior was odd considering she would always speak to Brain but her focus was elsewhere. Without hesitation, she kicks in the formally shut bathroom door, knocking it off the hinges, grabbed the blue turd, firmly enough to hold him in place but not enough to hurt him.

"You have only one chance and one chance only to tell me what the fuck you did tonight. If you lie, I will kill you and throw you to the birds do you FUCKING HEAR ME?!" Onyx screamed. This is terrifying for many reasons. Onyx doesnt show emotion so when she does, its scarier. She doesnt raise her voice, no matter how her expression is, always speaking at one tone. She was very docile with Brian, her violent nature never seeping through the cracks despite her career choice. So this would hopefully send a message to Alymer with how pissed he was.

In the back of her head, she risked Brian going through withdrawals. Hurting in a way she could never fully fix and potentially fucking over their relationship. She knew Brian would find out the monster she is in more ways than one, she knew Brian would even fear her after this moment. Her anger was so apparent and strong at this time, she put it aside to selfishly end this little worm. Her intuition was right all of this time about him. How he was using her boyfriend to do devious things such as cheat on her.

How did she not catch it before? Did she miss his heart rate when she said certain things? Did she miss the lipstick on his collar when she did his laundry? Did she miss the way women would look at him out in public? Did she miss any signs that SCREAMED he was doing this? This revelation made her even angrier, her grip tightening just enough to bruise him but not enough to kill him. She wanted this blue fucker to suffer.

She knew she shouldnt have trusted this. She should have known it would be a trick. She should have known it was too good to be true. She knew she couldnt let herself become so vulnerable and so WEAK with another person. She wanted to rip both Alymer and Brian limb from limb for tricking her into thinking she was safe with them. She wanted to start with the little shit that always caused her problems in the first place and she would be damned if anyone came in between this.

If this seems foolish or irrational, it isnt in her eyes. Shes always been the butt of someones joke and she would be damned if she let it happen again. So now shes going to get her payback for being tricked into believing she was safe with someone else. Shes only safe with her sister and herself. Her solitude is better than ever going through this again.

Aylmer squeaked—That's right, SQUEAKED—the door and the grabbing happening all too fast for him!

For the initial seconds, the blue man struggled in her hands, quickly finding that he was only making it harder on himself.

"Were you raised in a barn??? Didn't anybody ever tell you to KNOCK before kicking in a closed door?!" The parasite narrowed his teensy eyes until they nearly vanished altogether. He was in quite a predicament and he wasn't in any position to act recklessly. He could lash out and sink his teeth into her forehead but then he'd just be stuck with goody-goody Brian.

***

Brian had fallen asleep out of mental exhaustion, waking when he heard the crash. He shot straight up from his pile of tears on the sofa, afraid that Aylmer had finally deserted him.

"Onyx? What the hell are you doing?!" He tapped her shoulder, disheartened and confused to see his two favourite people seemingly at such odds with each other. "If you wanted a hit that badly, you didn't have to squeeze it out of him!" He turned his eyes to Aylmer.

"Aylmer, what the hell is going on?"

smolcuriouskitten // cont'd [ x ]

Brian didn't face Onyx straightaway but gradually turned his head towards the woman he loved. He knew that making eye contact wasn't an imperative since she seemed to never change her expression (usually) and therefore it wasn't easy to read her reaction to what was being said to her.

Still, he had called her in here and now he was obligated to treat this like an actual civil conversation.

"Well, that's kind of just it-"

The young man practically recoiled when he saw that grin which was, unfortunately, getting to be more and more characteristic. It was also a bit of a 'war flashback' moment for him, as he could recall breaking out into maniacal smiles for no reason at all starting with his connection to Aylmer.

"You and he have been doing an awful lot of talking lately..." Brian sighed, still in the dark as to the light shooting out of his head. Right now he had a rig of saran wrap and tape over it to keep the elements out, but he knew that would only get him so far. Needless to say, hats were a must when out in public. His brother Mike was bringing new fashions over weekly.

"I just don't want you going down the same path as I have, Onyx... And I don't want more trouble for Aylmer, either... It's not any secret how much I've had to pay the cops to keep quiet about things as they are..."

***

The parasite was indeed incapacitated, currently swaddled and sipping chicken brains from a blender cup with a straw, but the severed link between himself and Brian had caused an additional phenomenon; he could now hear all of Brian's thoughts! Even from another room!

Needless to say, the attempted co-conspiring taking place in the bathroom caused unhappiness to swell inside of his blue body. Onyx was his only recourse during these tough times, this he believes wholeheartedly... Aylmer didn't actually posses a heart, instead a heart-like part called the aortic arch, but that's neither here nor there. All that mattered was his will to pit Onyx against Brian because Brain, bless him, was of little to no use anymore.

[mcu-coworkers]

Love?Love.

Summary: You make a decision after coming to a self realization, and it ends up costing you more than you had thought. Meanwhile, Anakin decides to fight for his feelings never expecting to have to use his lightsaber for it.

Pairings: Anakin x Y/N reader.

Word count: 2,876

Warnings: smut (please skip over if you are not 18+), oral, slight violence, very small mention of blood.

A/N: Hello everyone! Before  I   forget, the “...” usually means a switch in POV or scene? if it makes sense  I   noticed  I   never clarified that sorry! I will keep it short  I   hope you guys enjoy and thank you for reading!xx (Also, can we talk about chapter 5 of Kenobi? AMAZING.)

Taglist: @graciexmarvel @ssophiebirkas​ @yesimwriting​

Masterlist

PT.1 PT.2 PT.3 PT.4 PT.6

Anakin made his way down the hallway hoping he’d catch you before it was too late. He walked all the way down and took another right and came to an abrupt halt when he saw you hugging the prince and the end of the hall.

When you two had finally pulled away Anakin quickly hid behind the wall so you wouldn't catch him. Looking again he saw you looking at him and smiling, He’d never thought he’d see you smiling that way for someone else.

Sighing in defeat he turned and leaned on the wall feeling lost and confused, but mostly hurt. Never did he think he’d pushed hard enough to push you into the prince’s arms, he couldnt have.

Taking a deep breathe he stood up straight and decided he was going to confront you and the prince, no way he was letting him have his girl so easily.

Just as he turned into corner he bumped into you almost dropping you on your butt until he caught you in his arms. “Princess.” he said looking down at you frowning with confusion as to how fast you got here.

“Oh, Anakin im sorry  I   must have been walking too fast,  I - sorry.” you said quickly smiling at him, “ I   must speak to my father excuse me.” you said looking at him once more remembering what it felt like to be in his arms before walking off.

Sighing once more Anakin looked back at you watching your figure disappear down the hall and once again feeling someone bump into him again, this time it was the prince.

“My apologies Anakin, It seems  I   should be going.” the prince said quietly. “Going?” Anakin asked, confused.

“Yes, it seems  I   have nothing more to do here.” he  said, revealing a box with the ring still in it. “The princess said no?” Anakin asked, trying not to react in front of the prince. “It seems she is looking for something else, someone else maybe.” he said smiling looking at the ring.

“Well,  I   shall be going  I   have a princess out there waiting for me,  I   hope.” Prince Cal said earning a chuckle from Anakin, maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all.

“Good luck your highness,  I   hope you find her.” Anakin said and with a small nod to each other the prince was also off in the same direction you went in.

Suddenly realizing what just happened , Anakin was once again confused as to why you were so happy and urgent to talk to your father after declining a marriage proposal to the prince?

Erasing that all from his kind he decided to go to your room and wait for you to come back.

…

Meanwhile, you were still in search of your father when suddenly you found Obi-wan instead. “Oh Obi-wan I'm sorry  I  ‘m running around like a headless chicken, have you seen my father?” you asked slightly out of breath from all the speed walking.

“ He’s right out those doors Princess.” he said pointing to yet another corridor. “Wonderfull, thank you!” but just before you could walk off Obi-wan stopped you. “Princess if  I   may.” he said politely.

“Yes?” you asked, “This thing with you and Anakin,” he said and suddenly your stomach dropped not expecting that. “He has really been happy because of it, and i'm happy for you both.” he said quietly, smiling at you.

You smiled feeling sad at Obi-wan's words, “Thank you Obi, but Anakin chose to end things in order to focus on the Jedi order, he's a good man thanks to you.” you said smiling once more before walking away hoping your father was still close.

“Father! Can we have a moment in private please?” you asked, sighing in relief finally finding him. “Ofcourse, excuse me gentlemen, we will continue this soon.” he said walking away from the Jedi and onto a balcony.

“What is troubling you so much my child?” he asked, looking around. You weren't in the most private area possible but it would have to do for now.

“  I   want to renounce my rights to the crown and my future title of queen.” you said confidently but in reality you were hoping he couldn't see how much your hands were shaking from how nervous you were.

Hearing those words almost knocked off his balance making him hold on to the rail of the balcony. “You what?” he said in a whisper. “ I   wa-” you went to say again.

“No,  I   heard what you said and don't ever say it again.” he said, regaining himself and pointing his finger at you. “But father  I  -” you tried again. “No, you were raised in this life and you will see it through, and that is finally my child.” he said heading for the doors.

“ I   will not force you to marry, but  I   will ask you to pick someone soon or else you will be forcing my hand y/n.” he said before walking off leaving you with tears in your eyes and holding back a sob.

Quickly before someone saw you, you composed yourself just enough until you got to your room where no one would be able to see you. Avoiding eye contact, you made your way to your room quietly.

Once youd finally made it you shut the door quickly and leaned your forehead against it and finally allowed yourself to breathe. “Are you alright?” Anakin said, causing you to turn around quickly and covering your mouth, muffling your scream.

Quickly Anakin stood up and walked towards you. “ I  ‘m sorry  I   came after you bumped into me  in the hallway and  I   was hoping we could talk if that's alright with you.” Anakin said realizing your cheeks had tears running down.

“Whats wrong?” he said holding your face and bringing you closer to him.

“Anakin why are you here?” you asked pushing him away. You’d been through enough today you didn't need to be reminded that you’d lost Anakin too.

Taken back by the sudden aggression Anakin didn't hold you back, “ I   wanted to talk, theres something that  I   need to say.” he said walking towards you slowly just incase you had another outburst.

“But  I   can see you’re upset. What's wrong with my love?” he asked making you frown ‘the audacity of this man.’ you thought.

“How dare you?” you asked, “First you tell me you want me, then you tell me its over and now you call me pet names? What's tomorrow looking like?” you asked, scoffing turning away from him.

If you hadn’t loved him so much he would've been out that door already. And suddenly there it was, love. You hadn't realized it until now and at a very terrible moment but you did, love him.

“Look,  I  ‘m sorry for doing what  I   did earlier,  I   wasn't thinking straight and  I   thought it was the right thing to do at the moment but  I   now realize it wasn't and  I  ‘m sorry  I   put you through that.” he said looking at you as you looked anywhere but at him.

“Say something, please.” he said kneeling down in front of you trying to get you to look at him. Another tear ran down your face, “ I   told my father  I  no longer wanted the crown.” you said finally looking at him.

“What did he say?” Anakin whispered his heart skipping a beat at the news. “He said if  I   don't get married soon he’ll pick someone and send me off.” you said another tear running down your face.

Anakin's heart broke at the sight of you crying, he’d do anything to make you smile again. “Sand.” he said abruptly making you look at him extremely confused.

“What?” you said a smile pondering your lips. “ I   hate sand, Our honeymoon could never be on a planet with sand.” he said looking at you. “Because it gets stuck everywhere and after you’ll be seeing it for the next lifetime?” you asked intrigued at his randomness.

Without thinking about it Anakin reached up and kissed you causing you to gasp. “ I -I  ‘m sorry  I   ju-” before he could finish you pulled him back in and went for more. Could anyone blame you? Sure you were angry but there was just something about him.

You moved your hands to the back of his head slightly pulling him down on top of you on the bed. He put one arm above you for support and the other went down massaging your hip and suddenly squeezing it harder than last time making you gasp again.

Chuckling Anakin slipped his tongue in deepening the kiss making his heart beat faster than it ever has in his life. You ran your hands through his hair and pulled on it making him groan in pleasure making shivers go down your spine.

He pulled away quickly, “ I ‘m sorry  I   didn't mean to-” confused as to what he meant

You finally realized what he meant when he guided your eyes down to the tent in his pants.

“Oh” you said shyly, Anakin had been your first in practically everything other than talking to boys because you had to speak to guards and guests that visited the palace.

“We don't have to do anything, it will go away eventually.” he said sitting  down on the bed reaching for a pillow. “Wait.” you said your heart racing thinking about what you were about to do.

You put one leg over him straddling him and feeling his erection on your sensitive area made you gasp slightly, feeling a bit of pleasure at the friction causing Anakin to clench his jaw. “Show me.” you said guiding his hands to your hips.

Slowly he guided you down and started rocking your hips back and forth creating that friction you felt earlier making you grip his shoulders and roll your head back. Anakin could only admire your silent moans and only wanted to  hear them get louder so he started leaving trails of kisses down your neck.

“Anakin.” you said breathlessly looking down at him pulling his hands away and taking over fully gaining enough confidence to do it yourself which only made Anakin even harder and wanting to feel all of you.

Reaching even more you pushed him back on the bed  and began kissing him again as your hand went into his pants massaging his bulge gently while also secretly trying to get a feel of how big he was.

“Oh my-” Anakin pulled away looking down at your hand while switching to wrapping it around him as started pumping his member and feeling something wet which you guessed meant he was close.

“Can  I  ?”  you asked tugging and the waste of his pants. “You don't have to love  I  -” you cut him off by slowly getting down and batting your eyelashes at him. “Please?” you asked politely, making him twitch in your hand.

He could only nod at you and help you pull his pants down and for the first time you actually got a good look at his size and felt slightly panicked by it but before he could notice you took him in your mouth as much as you could fit and the rest of him you pumped with your hands.

You started bobbing your head up and down making sure to lick his tip every so often making Anakin reach for your hair and tugging on it softly making sure to not be too aggressive with you.

“Baby i'm s-so close.” he said encouraging you to go faster which made him subconsciously pull on your hair harder making you moan onto his erection finally sending him into a euphoria full of groans as he released into you.

Panicking you swallowed his seed sucking him off until he was fully done and cleaned off before popping him out of your mouth finally being able to catch your breathe. “You didnt have to- to do that.” he said catching his own breathe.

Giggling you took his hands as he helped you up and sat you on his lap. “So that was your first?” he asked looking at you adoringly. “Yes, actually it was.” you said blushing and leaning into his shoulder to hide your reddened face.

He chuckled and kissed your forehead, “It was the best thing ever.” he said looking down at you. “Oh shut up” you said smacking his arm. “I'm serious,” he said, his smile widening.

“You are the best thing to happen to me, you know that right?” he said, holding you even tighter. You grinned to yourself feeling whole in this moment and you never wanted to leave.

Before you could reply to his loving words a beeping sound  came from the comm on his wrist. Slowly he raised it up to his lips before answering. “Yes, Master?” he said, confused by the sudden interruption.

“Anakin, we’ve been called for an emergency meeting with the council in ten minutes, get down here quickly.” Obi-wan said sternly before you heard a low beeping sound indicating he was gone.

Sighing Anakin turned towards you feeling uneasy, something was off about his master's tone. “I‘ll be back as soon as it is over,  I   promise.” he said, kissing your lips softly, pulling away before he got lost in you again.

Walking him to your door, he checked the hallway making sure it was clear before walking out casually making you giggle to yourself as you walked back to prepare a shower for yourself.

As the water warmed up you thought of the conversation you had with your father earlier, or more like the sentence you managed to get out and him threatening you after. Lost in thought you realized you didn't want to be a queen anymore.

At Least not if it meant you lost the right to love who you did, but then again he was tied to his own code that he had broken as well. Your heart yearned for Anakin, but your mind knew eventually the hiding and the secrets would become too much.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when suddenly you felt the ground beneath you shake and your bedroom window being broken. “Hello Princess.”

…

“Master, what was so urgent that the council called for a meeting at the last minute?” Anakin asked, annoyed by the interruption.

“It seems Master Yoda has sensed something quite serious.” Obi-wan said, taking his seat. Anakin had sensed it as well; his worry only grew knowing he had left you alone.

“The king and princess, in danger they are.” Yoda said, getting straight to it. Anaking sat up straight feeling even more urgency to get back to you.

“What danger might this be?” Master Windu asked but just as he did they were interrupted by Rex, “ I‘m sorry to interrupt but there's been a breach in the temple, it seems they've got the princess and are most likely heading for the king next i've sent a crew to find the king and another for the princess.” he said quickly.

Anakin's heart sank at the news, his anger getting the best of him, “we need to send out more troops, how could someone break into the temple so easily.” he said standing.

“Calm yourself young Skywalker, clear your mind before you make matters worse.” Master Windu advised standing as well.

“I'm sorry master, it's just that we were meant to protect the royal family, now two of them risk losing their lives for coming here.” Anakin said, looking down at the ground.

“Obi-wan, you and Anakin will lead the search for the princess, Kit Fisto, Ploo Koon, you will lead the search for the King. Once found, reunite them with Prince Luke in the Sub levels.” Master Windu said exiting the council room.

“We must check the security cameras and go from there.” Obi-wan said, “You go Master, I'll go to the princess’s room and see if  I   can find anything  helpful.”  Anakin said hopeful he’d agree.

“Fine with me, contact me if you find her and the culprit along the way, contact me first before you do anything Anakin,  I   meant it.” Obi-wan said stern knowing the impulsiveness of his Padawan.

Beginning to walk away, Anakin looked back, “Of course Master.” he said before running off to your room hoping you’d still be there.

To no avail you were gone and glass was shattered everywhere from the broken window. “Damn it!” Anakin said, hitting the door out of anger and running out looking for a trail to follow and luckily he found one.

Blood. Heart racing and tears threatening to fall down his eyes he begins to follow the trail heading to the landing bay with his lightsaber in hand.

Suddenly his comm beeps again, “Anakin it's Ventress, Ventress has both the king and the princess.” He said out of breath he must have been running already.

“ I  ‘m on my way to the landing bay right now master, meet me there.” he said quietly. “Anakin, she's not alone waiting for me and the other Jedi to arrive.” Obi-wan said in a panic.

“ Anakin? Anakin!” Obi-wan screamed but by then it had been too late.

[tendouluvr]

not telling them you’re pregnant - f!reader

- fluff, sliiiight angst maybe

- characters: suna, sakusa, semi

- warnings: pregnancy (i don’t go into detail of giving birth or anything), cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, two mention of the act of sex in semi’s, some cursing

- wc: 1.4k, 888, 946

a/n: it’s f!reader cuz pregnancy but there’s no specific pronouns/gendered terms used

also idk how suna got so long, he was the last one i wrote for bc i couldnt think of anything lmao

[2. iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama]

SUNA

#! suna has been practicing late into the night the past few weeks

#! there’s a big game coming up and the entire team is feeling the pressure and adrenaline from the crunch time

#! you haven’t been feeling too good lately, a lot heavier and more tired than usual

#! thinking it was just stress from work and the missing presence of your boyfriend, you pushed through it and thought it would go away in the next few days

#! unfortunately, luck wasn’t on your side and you started to get sudden needs to throw up

#! it didn’t take you long to realize why your physical and mental drive have been down lately

#! you’re pregnant

#! or you believe you are

#! you bought a few tests, some of different brands so you can have a variety, and headed home to confirm your suspicion

#! a few minutes later, staring back at you was multiple positive symbols and the bolded ‘PREGNANT’s

#! taking a few deep breaths, you decided to tell suna tonight once he comes home

#! you thought it was better to let him know as soon as possible

#! it wouldn’t hurt anyone plus the faster you rip the bandaid off, the easier it’ll be to deal with it

#! so you waited

#! and waited

#! until 11pm that night, when suna finally came through the front door

#! “tarō! how was practice? can we talk?” you hurriedly greeted him

#! he was taken aback, not expecting you to be right beside him and in his ear as soon as he came in

#! of course you weren’t, you made sure to put some space in between you and him

#! but suna was stressed and tired, so everything is intensified to him at the moment

#! “can you back up?” he mumbled, pushing his way from in front of you to walk to the kitchen

#! “oh, sorry. can we talk?” you sheepishly smiled, hoping he would say yes

#! you’re not blind, you can tell that suna was tired but you really didn’t wanna put this off

#! you were just gonna tell him, he gets surprised, you both talk it out, and then go to bed and continue figuring things out tomorrow morning

#! but before any of that can happen, suna bluntly told you, “no. i’m tired. i’m sure whatever it is isn’t a big deal. can it be tomorrow? i wanna sleep.”

#! you didn’t get to answer before he was already walking away to the bedroom

#! understanding where he was coming from, you mentally agreed to talk to him tomorrow. one day wouldn’t change anything and you’ve seen plenty of people not tell their partners until a few weeks in

#! he was right, it wasn’t a big deal (yet)

#! so you waited until tomorrow

#! and waited

#! and once again, he came home late

#! “hey! can we quickly talk, babe?”

#! “i’m tired. tomorrow, okay?”

#! “oh, okay. night, rin!”

#! “g’night.”

#! night came and there was still no talk

#! this continued on for about 2 weeks, you finally choosing to not care anymore and just let him find out whenever he finds out

#! technically, you could’ve just blurted out a simple, “i’m pregnant.” any point during your nightly five seconds conversations

#! but seeing that he really was tired, springing it onto him would either put him in a full body shock for three days or he just doesn’t fully process your words until three days after

#! a month has passed, your stomach was still barely showing like most women at their one month mark

#! you decided to book an appointment for a checkup, it’ll be while suna’s at practice

#! and that doctor appointment was the exact reason suna found out

#! he was at practice when komori entered the gym

#! he had a doctor’s appointment for his annual checkup, and that’s where he saw you

#! you didn’t see komori, busy reading the directory to find your way to the right office

#! but he saw you on the way out. seeing that you looked a bit busy, he chose not to greet you and just quickly walk to his car lmao why is this funny to me

#! entering the gym, he greeted everyone and apologized for his tardiness even though it was excused

#! walking up to suna, he tapped him on the shoulder and quietly told him, “i saw yn at the hospital earlier. it’s been awhile since we all got together huh, they looked a bit different.”

#! ok so komori, being the smart person he is, deducted that you were pregnant when he saw your finger pointing at the ob/gyn office

#! and he genuinely thought suna knew so his comment was suppose to be a small joke that was meant to tease suna and his sex life

#! suna, however, was confused

#! look different? did you get surgery?

#! “what do you mean?”

#! komori rolled his eyes and gave a sweet smile at suna, “congrats you two! when were you gonna tell the rest of us?”

#! suna: 👨‍🦲 huh

#! “are you guys not pregnant?” he blinked at suna’s frozen reaction

#! suna became unresponsive so komori just walked away mumbling to himself about being sure he read the sign right

#! a loud whistle blew and it shook suna out of his daze, everyone got ready to play a practice game of 3 vs 3 while suna ran over to the coach

#! “hey coach, um i think there’s an emergency at home. can i go? ok thanks.”

#! his coach just stares after him as he sprints off, you think? is there an emergency or not?

#! suna quickly drove home, he may or may not have speed a little, and entered the apartment

#! “yn? baby?” he called out only to be greeted back with silence

#! probably still at the hospital....what were you doing there? he thought to himself while rummaging around the house to find anything that could give him somewhat of an idea

#! he was digging around in the bedroom when you came home, his head so frenzied he didn’t hear the front door open

#! but you heard the ruckus from the bedroom and immediately went into fight or flight

#! panicking, you took out your phone to call suna while quietly opening the front door to make your way back out before the intruder catches you

#! the phone rang and rang until it was picked up. “suna?” you whisper-yelled into the speaker. you had a habit of calling him by his last name when you were freaking out. he noticed and was equally alarmed

#! “what’s wrong?” he whispered back just as panicked

#! “there’s someone in our apartment. can you come home?”

#! “huh? oh, are you home?” he cackles into the phone speaker making you move the phone away from your ear, “it’s me, sweets, c’mere.”

#! you warily walked on your tiptoes over to your bedroom, peeking your head in and what a surprise, it is suna

#! “jackass! why are you home?!”

#! “why didn’t you tell me?” he cut straight to the point

#! “huh?”

#! “you’re pregnant. when were you gonna tell me?” his voice sounding stern, but the quiet smile dancing on his face tells a different story

#! “i tried.”

#! “huh? what do you mean?”

#! “all those times i asked if we could talk. i was trying to tell you.”

#! his heart dropped, eyebrows furrowing, while he stared you down

#! suna became unresponsive once again, standing there trying to think back to the first time you asked him

#! two weeks ago

#! “i’m sorry,” he quietly whispers

#! “hm? i..it’s fine....i was a bit sad, but i’m over it. at least you know now,” you casually shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal

#! “no. i shouldn’t have pushed you aside like that. even if you weren’t pregnant, even if you had just wanted to tell me about some stupid video you saw that day, i shouldn’t have told you off. i’m sorry, i love you a lot and you deserve so much better.”

#! “tarō, shut up. i accept your apology and i forgive you, now make it up to me by giving me a back massage while i show you the ultrasound pictures!”

#! he kisses you before lifting you up bridal style making his way to the bed

SAKUSA

#! contrary to popular beliefs, sakusa is not an obsessive germaphobe who finds everything disgusting but you

#! he wouldn’t be playing volleyball if he was that afraid of germs,,,,,

#! yes, he cringes if random little kids grab onto him after games because 1) he’s drenched in sweat and that feeling is not fun

#! 2) he doesn’t even know themmm

#! and 3) he wanna go home

#! but sakusa loves you and if you happened to get pregnant, he would love your kid(s) just the same

#! however, he never told you this. he never really had a reason to voice this out loud

#! so when you actually did get pregnant, you were confused

#! the only interactions between sakusa and kids you’ve seen multiple times were the moments between him and his fans

#! you guys have been to family parties and his nieces, nephews, and cousins looooves him

#! maybe it’s the fact that he’s a tall looming giant and they just want to climb

#! but besides those moments, you don’t recall him ever telling you upfront that he wants children of his own

#! and the constant stress and pressure he always seem to be working around also doesn’t help reassure you in any way

#! being an athlete for a living means always watching your body, health, and looks for the cameras (but omi could care less about the last thing)

#! he also has to make sure whether or not he’s working well with his teammates, practice and improve on anything he’s having problems with, and deal with atsumu’s dramatic ass

#! you’re an overthinker and because of that, all of these reasons were just reasons for you to postpone the pregnancy news to your long term boyfriend

#! it wasn’t too hard anyway, considering practice runs late sometimes and he’s busy majority of the time doing other stuff

#! when you guys do have alone time together, you both are so focused on one another that you actually forget that you’re pregnant and you never told him

#! you’re about to hit the three months mark now — time goes by fast — and sakusa has noticed you and your body changing

#! at first he just thought you were going through a phase of cravings and a bit of bloating, so he didn’t mention it and just let you be

#! he never got to witness you getting morning sickness because he goes on early runs or he was just out doing morning errands so he wouldn’t have to deal with it later that day

#! so when he caught you in the kitchen cutting up a lemon, the last thing he was expecting you to do was bring the lemon directly up to your mouth

#! “uh, what are you doing?” his deep voice caught you off guard, effectively stopping the hand that was holding the lemon

#! you just stare at him, not wide-eyed, not surprised, just stare

#! “eating a lemon.”

#! “i can see that.... why exactly?”

#! “dunno, the baby i guess.” you casually shrugged it off before popping the lemon slice into your mouth

#! “ah-,” he opened his mouth to stop you from eating the lemon, your words not fully processing in his mind, but cut off midway and froze when he finally realized

#! hearing him pause like that made you suddenly remembered that you never told him you were pregnant

#! you slowly turned back to look at him, mouth still slowly chewing the lemon slices

#! a moment of silence later, he unfreezes and just starts stiffly walking towards you

#! he grabbed you by the shoulders, made you look him in the eyes, before whispering, “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “y-yes..”

#! his eyes were wide, black pupils expanding as he stared you down, his lips slowly curving into a small smile

#! “you’re pregnant....,” he whispers, mainly to himself, hugging your head into his chest

#! “mhm, get off me i’m trying to eat,” you gently pushed him off but he wouldn’t budge

#! “omiiii please, if you get off i’ll give you a slice,” you tried bribing him. he couldn’t tell if you were being serious or just teasing

#! “no.”

#! “um ok, two slices?”

#! “no.”

#! “omi!”

#! he giggles before opening his arms to let you go

#! “why didn’t you tell me?”

#! you didn’t reply right away, making him start to overthink

#! did you not want the baby? or did you not want a kid with him? did you not want to be with him anymore? or was it not his?!

#! he childishly shakes his head side to side at the last question. he knew you wouldn’t do that

#! but you were still silent, making him nervously glance at you from the side

#! “sorry, piece of lemon stuck in my teeth. i just forgot to tell you,” the words easily flowing out of your mouth nonchalantly

#! sakusa’s fingers were literally about to start twitching from anxiousness beside you

#! a sigh of relief was heard from him and you turned to look at him

#! “you okay?”

#! he doesn’t answer, just gives you a smile and goes back to hugging you from behind

SEMI

#! you were currently sitting on the couch in your shared apartment waiting for semi to come home

#! he’s been on tour for a few months now, you both kept in touch by facetiming, texting, calling, and any other methods of virtual communication

#! you would tune into the live recording of all of his performances when you had time so you could watch him

#! a few weeks into tour, you suddenly felt different than usual but shook it off as nothing and probably just you missing your boyfriend

#! you believed that until one morning you were woken up by the sudden urge to throw up, dashing to the restroom as fast as your drowsy body can go

#! it was then that you realized you might be pregnant

#! the night before semi left, you both had sex to enjoy your last few hours together before he had to leave for a few months

#! with the new realization, you quickly dressed yourself to make a short trip to the store to pick up some tests

#! after half an hour of looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to wrap your head around this, you finally opened the first box

#! a few minutes later, all 5 tests were lined up on the bathroom counter showing positive

#! you stared at the tests, trying to make sure you weren’t reading it wrong

#! once you began to understand the responsibility of being pregnant a few hours later, you made a mental note to go out and buy some food for yourself the next day

#! you decided to sleep off the rest of that day

#! through all of the facetime calls with semi, you never once told him you were pregnant

#! you knew that if you told him he would freak out and either demand to go back home, or stay but all of his attention would be on you being pregnant alone at home for the rest of the tour

#! so here you are now, sitting with a 4 1/2 months baby bump waiting for your beloved to come home

#! it was around 6pm when the front door opened, sounds of shuffling bags and heavy steps could be heard from the musician

#! he cursed under his breath when he almost tripped over a duffle bag with some of his loungewear, calling out for you as he walks further into the apartment, “baby? i’m home!”

#! he was about to speak up again when he saw you asleep on the couch

#! bouncing his way over, he got onto his knees at the edge of the couch to observe your face. god i miss you, he thought to himself

#! he gently shakes you awake, you jolted in surprise not knowing you fell asleep in the first place

#! “hmm- what?,” soft murmurs falling from your lips as you adjusted your eyes at your surrounding

#! “eita!” he grinned at you, both of you pulling each other into a hug

#! “fuck, i miss you so much.” he whispered into your ears before placing his face into your neck

#! “i miss you more.” you tightened your grip around him making him move up on the couch to get more comfortable

#! you both moved around until he had you cradled in between him, your back against his chest

#! his hands going under your his shirt to caress you there when his movements stopped right on top of your stomach

#! it was silent as his warm hands rubbed your stomach in circles, the gears turning in his head

#! “are you- you feel- why’s your tum so round and hard?” he quizzically asked, still rubbing your stomach

#! “pregnant.” your voice a low whisper, he almost didn’t catch it

#! “what?”

#! “pregnant.” you repeated, a bit louder this time

#! “huh?”

#! “pregnant!” you sighed, moving his hand so you can get off of him

#! he grabs your wrist to stop you from walking away and turns you to look at him

#! “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “i just said that. yes.”

#! you knew you sounded blunt and a bit mean, it wasn’t his fault he doesn’t know at all, but your hormones have been making you crankier and it’s out of your control

#! “sorry. yes, i’m pregnant.”

#! his eyes continuously darts up and down from your eyes to your bump

#! “how long?”

#! “since you left.”

#! “was it the night before?” he was referring to your act of intimacy the night before he left

#! “yea.”

#! “wow. why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “because.”

#! “‘cuz what?”

#! “because i know you. you would either stop touring and come home, or stay but lose focus. i was just trying to not distract you because i know how important your career is to you. and because i thought that you’ll be having a six months break after this tour before your next comeback, i would tell you when you came home. i’m sorry if you’re ma-,”

#! “i’m not mad. oh don’t cry, babe, look at me.”he carefully cups your face, “it’s okay, it’s okay. i get why you kept it from me. and now that i have no schedule for the next six months, i can be there for you until the end of your pregnancy and the beginning of our baby’s life alright?”

#! you weakly nodded against his palms, and he brings you back down to lay your head on his chest as you both softly talk about the past months without each other