#trans guide

[maloosh-baloosh64]

a favorite gaming essayist of mine made this great video with the help of many other trans folks online. Thought I should share to game the algorithim and help my trans sisters.

[jholmeje]

[pennythemechpilot]

Tattoo artist: So I guess you really like plants, huh? Trans girl: *getting her entire hand/arm tattooed to resemble bundles of vines, so hard she can barely think straight*, ...yeah I guess. I just really like plants, heh.

[cruel-stars]

"Lilith" and her petal, circa 2556.

[dee-the-red-witch]

How to ACTUALLY date a trans girl

(This column was originally submitted to Autostraddle as a reply to their "A Trans Guy’s Guide to Picking Up a Trans Girl" but since they've apparently passed on it, it gets to be posted up free everywhere else instead.) Picture this- you’re a trans woman who’s been in transition for three years now. Your dating life has gone from abysmal to amazing in alternate fits and spurts and you’ve found not just one, but three awesome partners despite the many, MANY pitfalls you’ve experienced along the way. And then one day, your social media feeds ping up with screencaps of a guide to picking up girls like yourself. Needing a good laugh, you click through. And read. And proceed to smack your forehead with your own palm in frustration a few times and giggle and some other lines on the first readthrough. But things feel off, so you read again. And begin to seethe. And then start opening up the Word document and start typing frenziedly into it. Because honestly? At the end of the day, as a trans lesbian who dates all sorts of people on non-male parts of the amorphous spectral mass that is Gender, I feel like I’m obligated to. I wanted to go into that first reading and find a column that actually got things right, and this was so far off the mark in the worst ways, so I feel like I have to set some things down on paper. Because this guide reads, in so many ways, like everything my cisfem friends have complained about in the straight dating scene for years. Reading through it that second time, I felt almost the exact same sense of of sheer grease and sleaze that I’ve felt reading incel pickup guides. I felt like I was being seen as a pretty object at best and a disposable sex toy at worst. I wasn’t treated as human. At best it was a bunch of stereotypes, none of which applied to me. But under it all, I saw other bits- the tricks an abuser used to lure me in. The lies my rapist fed me. The excuses made by folks online for why I should be treated like a monster or thing because of my identity. You know, the specific blend of misogyny that singles out transfem identities in general- transmisogyny. And since we’re addressing the elephant in the room, I want to address a few particular points from Gabe’s article before I give you some real idea of how to go about this. And I want to emphasize here- this is after editing out a page of swearing, going over Gabe’s own past history of transmisogynistic writing, and just cutting it down to the actual points where the original article really went wrong, and also pick up a few points at the end that’ll actually work well for trans guys or anyone else who might be interested in a relationship with a trans girl. First off, if you’re trans as well? Stop playing the ‘we’re both trans’ card. ESPECIALLY if you’re coming at it from a ‘Why yes, I used to be a woman’ angle. For one, you’re telling us at the same time that you see us as former men, which is usually very much not the transfem experience (Personally, I always felt like I was putting on a ‘man’ act. All the time. Badly.) and for another, you’re being transphobic to yourself and your own identity. If we’re there to date you, it’s as the man you are- be that guy.

Secondly, just because the trans woman experience shares similarities with the experience you had trying to be a woman up until you came out and transitioned, it also has staggering fundamental differences, and your attempts to relate are going to highlight those differences in ways that aren’t going to work in your favor. We didn’t get to go shopping in public, or if we did, it was fraught with fear at being caught out in the early stages of transition, followed by massive frustrations with both trying to figure out where we fit into women’s sizing. And then discovering that absolutely nothing available in local stores, including thrift shops, would fit right, especially not that cute choker we’d always been drooling over. That nothing smelled right for lotion or perfume because we were dealing with a body chemistry that was going through a slow shift on HRT. And we don’t need or want to be reminded of just how much we stand out from the other girls in those kind of regards.

Also, maybe, just maybe, don’t do things that would get seen as completely misogynistic and creepy if you pulled them on a cisgender woman. Don’t go digging into her socials- stalkers and chasers pull that crap and it’s beyond tiresome. Don’t try to deduce what her pretransition life was like, that’s for her to share, if she chooses to. Don’t see her as a stereotype- some of us never played New Vegas, owned cat ears, or like thigh-highs. On that first date if you ever get there, don’t bring her flowers, lovebomb her like mad, constantly find little ways to touch her, any of that- if she has any experience, she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop in response, because she’s had this treatment before and it ended oh so badly. Just be yourself. And get it through your head that the bear is still definitely a choice regardless of everything- after all, we have examples like Gabe to prove that transmisogyny certainly isn’t limited to cis folks.

What should you do? Treat her like any other woman. Treat her like a human being, because we get so little of that, even from the rest of the LGBTQIA+ community. Yes, you’ll more than likely have to take initiative, because we’re used to seeing our attractions, needs, and desires as being perceived as aggressive or predatory by others. When you touch her, do it with assertion and intent- none of the little brushes and stalker moves- ask if you can hold her hand, or put an arm around her, so she knows you actually want to be here and want contact with her. Listen to her, and pay attention- let her be open and honest about her experiences and interests, and remember what she tells you, because she’s going to need to know that she’s wanted and valued for who she is and what she’s into, and it will be part of how she connects to you. And finally? Common sense and communication- every last one of us is different in a lot of ways, and asking or making room to talk about things from physical contact and sex to social activity or group outings or anything else can save a lot of blunders from ever happening. All in all you can and should date trans women! Please! A lot of the best relationships I’ve ever had were with other trans girls and I don’t regret any of those. But you have to put down the pickup guides, stop seeing us as fetish dispensers and sexy lampshades, and actually deal with us as people, first.

[ashes2caches]

cis guy: i just hate how rough my fucking skin is. i wish i could just feel soft for once.

8 foot tall plant alien: hmm…

[theasexualagent]

Yeah, sorry, your boyfriend was opposing the affini, yeah, he’s a broccoli now, yeah, they also gave her hrt, as plants often do, sorry.

[tranceykitten]

Literal homophobia that I'm not pumped full of xenodrugs and completely surrendering myself to the firm-but-gentle machinations of a hot alien plant mommy's vines rn

[iowafashionweekbegins]

hi, i just want to let everyone know, if any of you are frustrated with the state of TS4, i've compiled several different tutorials and made an all-in-one guide for playing TS2 on modern computers. it has all the fixes necessary to prevent crashes + pink flashing, and tips to make the game look just as nice as TS4, if not better!

please let me know if this guide is useful for you, or if anything needs to be changed/added/removed. i've tested it myself on multiple computers, and, while it works for me, there are many possibilities for error, considering that everyone's computer is different.

thank you for reading! i hope you like it :]

EDIT: i've set up a ko-fi, if anyone wants to show their appreciation for my work!! thank you so much to anyone who donates!!

EDIT 2: if you're going to copy my guide, especially if some parts are word-for-word, please give me credit, just like how i gave credit at the end of the tutorial to all of the creators whose guides i referenced in the creation of this carrd. as far as i'm aware, i came up with this idea of an all-in-one carrd first- having a large platform does not make you better than anyone else or "above" giving credit to others.

last updated: september 27, 2024, update info in the replies.

[wendigot33th]

I FUCKING HATE THE HDG!!! IT MAKES ME FUCKIN YEARN FOR SOMETHING I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I WANTED TILL NOW!!! I CANT GET THE STUPID PLANT OUTTA MY HEAD!!!

If someone told me I was a FUCKING good girl(~) I would fucking die. I'm going to get my wisdom teeth pulled and I SAW that one tweet from *INCINEROARS FAT COCK ENJOYER* AND IM SOOOOO FUCKING WORRIED IM GONNA COME BACK TO A ROOM WITH LESS TEETH AND DOCTORS STARING AT ME AS I STUTTER OUT THE ROOM APOLOGIZING FOR HALF CONSCIOUSLY BRINGING UP NON-CON SELF CARE HYPNO PLANT

BULLSHIT!!!

IVE BEEN DOING NOTHING BUT READING PLANT SMUT FOR THE PAST 7 HOURS THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!! IM FUCKING DOOMED!!!!

[jholmeje]

Please if there is a god I NEED this!! I need their class Gs so fucking baddddd!! 😭😭😭

[ashroomancer]

Babe, you've got to stop calling edibles class A's no one knows what the fuck you're talking about!

[scribbled-dream]

My opinion on this might change, but:

For those who say HDG is purely psychosexual horror, and the wish fulfillment detracts from the setting, and for those who say the opposite:

They’re making out sloppily.

But for real—the point of the Affini is that they are the direct opposite of the Terran Accord. The Accord wants one story: Humanity under their control, with everyone stripped of their potential for the greater war machine, lives cut short by faulty implants and capitalism.

The Affini are the opposite. We see this time and time again. For every story like Abcission, there’s another like Wellness Check. The Affini do want control—but for them, control means giving Humanity freedom. Freedom to be a needy, Xenodrug adoring Petal, or a witty, deeply romantic Sophont that’s adoring all on their own without coercion, and broken, ruined souls who need xenodrugs and gentle, utterly gentle care to get back on their feet.

The Affini are a future where people can work for the pure enjoyment of serving their community. Of course people who are under the heel of the Accord would be afraid, resist, or fight. Fear is natural.

But for every time I see people decrying the Affini—they forget that the Affini are the closest to heaven Humanity might ever get.

The horror of your body wasting away for a state that despises you—or the potential, existential horror of having a choice—and either shirking it out of terror, or accepting it with an open heart.

The Affini are a haven for so many trans people, disabled people, all telling stories in their own, unique way. The gentle love of the Affini leading to individuality in all but name means so much to me as someone who struggles with disability and mental health.

Thanks for reading!

[ashes2caches]

cooking show host: so while that’s in the oven we’re gonna chop up all this broccoli into little florets

the transfem standing next to her, vibrating and frothing at the mouth: hey could you say that one more time?

[foone]

Once someone figures out how to make a mech TTRPG set in the HDG universe, it'll be all over for us trans gals.