#and its weird cuz i cant even explain why i dont like it

[pocket-mobster]

i was gonna post smth like "if i had found out 2 years ago that u can insert a nasogastric tube urself it wouldve ruined me" which is wild cuz its ruining me Right Now

[jackass-jones]

My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT

[ultimateloserboy]

rare shadow the hedgehog post but i actually dislike shipping him with any of the girls and heres why (please hear me out chat) (no hate btw just an opinion)

first of all, rouge specifically is implied to have a sister relationship to him. its implied multiple times, especially in SA2 that he sees her as a sister the way he saw maria, and when shes in danger he feels the same fear of losing a sister. ignoring that, i feel, takes away from both of their characters and is kinda weird.

second of all, expanding on my previous point— i think shadows deep respect for women and girls is a huge part of him and it doesnt stem from attraction at all which i think is actually VERY important. he sees every woman as an extension of his sister, while her killers were men, and all villains afterwards are ALSO more men! he trusts women and girls naturally, while he distrusts every man he comes across. this doesn’t necessarily mean he sees every girl AS maria and every man AS GUN or other villains, but he does see them in similar light.

shadow has seen the cruelty of men compared to the cruelty of women and from his perspective, women have only been positive influences, people to admire— while the enemy is always a man. i feel turning that to attraction takes the sentiment away of WHY he respects women so highly in the first place. not saying he cant like women, i just feel none of the girl characters hes close to would work without taking this factor out of him. he cares for them so heavily out of deep respect and i feel its kinda disappointing to change that to attraction. it defeats the whole point.

and before anyone says “ok sonadow shipper!” or some dumb shit, the reason why i dont mind him being paired with men isnt cuz i just dont like straight ships or something stupid like that. i will defend hunter and willow from the owl house until i die. and also yuri 4 life dont get it twisted. BUT. shadow just doesnt fit with women in that way, he is gods strongest feminist soldier and i just dont think hed be attracted to them out of such deep respect he just wouldnt consider it. and you could easily argue hes aroace all together. however, with men specifically he doesnt have that deep relationship and respect that i explained prior. i feel it takes away no real meaning to pair him with a man. if anything, it could add a meaning onto his distrust and him learning to trust or something gay like that.

basically, i just enjoy seeing a male character so influenced by the girls around him and NOT wanting to bang them in any sense. i find that very important to me and i get it if you dont care but its still sweet to see.

finally tho.. im gonna piss people off here but the sonic fandom is very ship-brained and i need to put it into perspective for yall that both shadow and sonic would be 20 when amy would be 16. i get that she definitely isnt always younger than them, but she is in plenty of versions of herself and is intended to be half the time, so i just dont get how you can bring yourself to ship them. but maybe thats just me. ive always found that to be uncomfortable even when i was little watching sonic X. i just dont feel comfortable pairing most of the cast together, especially amy specifically due to even the most sliver of a question abt her age making me feel weird. its honestly kinda funny that, mostly, the only characters that are the same age to be shipped are all men. again, im not fujo-brained, its just a coincidence with the characters specifically that i think shipping the guys is genuinely more appropriate MOST of the time. (not always!)

idk i dont think anyone is terrible for shipping shadow with the girl characters but it does make me super uncomfortable and i just wanted to expand on that cuz i like talking here and seeing others thoughts or whatever. dont get it twisted tho, some of you ARE weirdos and i wont tolerate you. BUT. thats not rlly what this is about and its not all of you. please dont misunderstand

[prosciuttoon]

Anyway, Shuro isn't the only character with problems, he isn't even the only Japanese/ Eastern Archipelago character, so not the only one with that specific background. And yet, he sure is the only one who acted out the way he did.

If you like him for .. whatever reason (narcissism? Based on your posts, I guess), that's fine, but like. There's extremely valid reasons for not liking him that aren't just "ur racist" or "you just don't understand!!!!"

hes the only one that acted out bc he was the only one that laios was interacting with that was the reason they fought?? laios wasnt talking to hien or benchidori or maizuru like that he didnt even meet them until he reunited w shuro in the dungeon

and when did i ever say “you’re racist if you hate him” all i did was talk abt the cultural context of his upbringing that would make him a terrible communicator. also, narcissism is such a weird word for liking a character a lot? and its not like im making him look innocent and flawless bc im literally explaining his flaws and where they come from. if someone doesnt like him bc he reminds them of someone that hurt them im not gonna try to change their mind, wouldnt hurt to know Why he acts like that but if theyre informed and still dont like him thats perfectly fine!!!

since i think u sent 2 asks ill just put the first one here and answer it too:

in the post abt him leaving izutsumi in the dungeon to come back “if she wants to” the “nuance” i was talking abt was the fact that he said “if she wants to” i.e giving her a choice to return (which she didnt do because she hated that place obv). also sorry hes not powerful enough to abolish slavery in his country, hes not even the heir to the family. dont think the eastern archipelago is strictly based on a specific time or reality in japan, probably just inspired by reality but not based on it, so shuros family is likely one of many families serving their “feudal lord” who rules a province of the country. in history, feudal lords were also under shogun and the emperor, but neither are mentioned in the manga iirc so i will guess that wasnt the case.

my aim w my posts isnt to force ppl to change their minds on whether or not they like a fictional character. im just giving an extra perspective w stuff from extra content plus my own experience (i.e being asian too) that some people may not know about. what they do w the info is up to them im not trying to tell people how to think. if they learn smth that changes their opinion fine if they dont also fine its not that serious. im just talking about my interpretations of the character.

if i see a critique i may think “wait but do they know about [insert notable info]”. if they dont know, would maybe be good to know bc its important to the character, if they do know and thats the conclusion they came to, thats it! i dont do any more than that n ur acting like im forcing everyone to like him.

tldr; just cuz i am explaining the root of his flaws doesnt mean im ignoring them. i still call him what he is! a loner who cant set boundaries and it only makes problems for himself and people around him, but i also happen to be interested in Where the behaviour comes from! (which happens to be heavily due to culture). doesnt mean im calling u racist if u dont like him wut

[emerxshiu]

tw: slight body horror, not much but it still is kinda there (also forgotten land spoilers)

Gemini Reunion

rlly long ramble next cuz i love talking why i did this and that and every detail unfortunately---

WAAAAAAAAHH this is definitly going into my top 3 favourite drawings i made, i didnt think it would end up like this!

i originally had a very simple idea, and well, i can never help myself with overdoing it can i? bad thing is i finished it around 5 am aka i barely slept, but i dont mind it at all, i just have been stupidly motivated to draw like i cant just put my tablet or pencil down for too long. fun fact: this was inspired by a fanart for something unrelated, but it reminded me of fecto and elfilin, and it ended up looking nothing like the inspiration lol

also if you've seen my other posts, yeah, that orb up there is indeed reused from another of my drawings, albeit edited to fit more here, the wings were just sketched as a silly thing, i wasnt planning to keep em but i really liked them. and those dots and lines at the very bottom are morse code indeed.

the two like, things that are between orb and fecto forgo are inspired by the weird like tentacles it uses to absorb the beastpack and elfilin, and also from antares, elfili's spear/cadaceus.

i really need to learn how to actually draw feet, ok i know that the only there is elfilin's with the sock but i actually drew the other one before i decided to make it melt into forgo, talking about melting, i only was going to do around the face, more specifically that chunk you see between its right arm and elfilin's hair was the only one i was really going to have, but then, i made it so the other side of forgo's face is also merging a bit with the hair, and then have one of the fingers of the other hand melt into the neck, and then the end of the tail and then parts of elfilin's legs.

elfilin is doing sign lenguage, it means help, poor guy.

also i really like changing elfilin's hair a bit to show how he feels, like, for example, i sketched him full so the little ahoge he has was also there, but like more stiff to show his fear, but had to erase it due to forgo, i also like doing this with the braid he has, if its like how i tend to draw it, then he a-ok! but here its very much almost undone to show his discomfort, and if its literally not even resembling a braid anymore, just like fully loose, either he was sleeping and the braid was anoying (i cant undestand people who sleep with their hair tied up, its way too uncomfortable), or he's like, really really like not there, like, um bad. i also made his tail a bit sharper and messy than usual.

that light orang-y thing sprouting from elfilin's forehead is based on the horns that fecto elfilis has, fecto forgo also has one here on the opposite side, but that one is more inpired from the horn coming out of leongar's head in the fecto forgo bossfight (yknow the chimera with like amalgamation and stuff)

also, forgo's tail is usually like, folded just like game but sometimes i like to like, extend it? (dunno how to explain) to have more expression and also for it to take more space cuz if its was like normal, it would only really have the upper part and a bit more visible since most of it is behind elfilin. also its not very visible but elfilin has the veins forgo has two in his chipped ear.

i was also going to use the blue eye scheme from when it fist opens its eyes for forgo but decided to go with the ones it has in isolated isles when morpho appears, mostly because they resemble the eyes of the beast pack when it absorbs them, and this drawing is very much inspired by those two cutscenes (Sudden metamorphosis and Gemini reunion ^▾^) i honestly dont know wich one to use for all forgo drawings ill make next, since in that cutscene it looks blue, but its body also looks blue, but its actually pink as indicated by the figurine and cutscenes in isolated isles and the chimera form, and also if you go out of bounds, lab discovera just has an effect that makes it all more blueish, so i dont know if the yes were actually like that or just the effect. i might alternate between them since i still like the blue option, it matches with elfilin.

also talking about forgo, i think it came out particularly very cute here, wich might add to the somethings off feeling, i mean it depends on who you ask.

the part at the bottom with like green and blue is based on the eternal capsule, it doesnt have bubbles in game, but it was to make it more obvious, and also because it looked nice to me.

you can probably decipher what it says at the sides without having to say it, i think its very much engraved into every kirby fan at this point, or at least, fecto elfilis/forgo/elfilin fans

i also made a version with the text in red cuz i couldnt decide, but now i like more the whiter version

i even made a version in yellow, but i stopped liking that one before i even saved it.

also elfilin still has the id-f87 in his neck, its just hard to see, forgo too has the 86 but you cant really see its neck, because i didnt draw it lol

fun fact 2:

i saved it up to 7 times in different files cuz i DID NOT WANT MY PC TO GO KABOOM. im still a bit scared to have lots of layers in a big canvas since the anniversary drawing for forgotten land, it did not explode but it went extremely slow, here at least the canvas was much much smaller, and the reason was mostly in case i need to delete something to not have as many layers or in case i wanna go back, i like to have backups of my drawings, aka a version with all layers that i can edit (.mdp, the file for firealpaca, for example for sai 2 it was .sai2, ah im remembering my sai days now) and a png file to post and also if i wanna look at my drawings.

if you are wondering why its called devilstrain [number] its because i was listening to that song while drawing and didnt know what to name it, in fact im actually listening to it rn as i write this, i really like it

i have some drawings started, mostly a chaos elfilis one, i think i already mentioned in a past post, i think im gonna stop that list i mentioned too since im feeling really motivated, maybe next time i feel bad about my drawings i can continue it, ah my eyes are hurting since yesterday wah

thank you if you decided to read my very unnecessary and annoying long ramblings, and also thanks if you didnt and just looked at the drawings, its undertandable (mucho texto i know)

Jambuhbye!

[chronicallyonline101]

Going to rant here instead cause there's a limit to how much you can say on the reply 🗿

But anyway u're literally that "no, i can't laugh yet, i've gotta hold it in" meme audio 😭 BUT YES DON'T SPOIL IT PLS as much as i love eating up the sneak peaks u’re feeding us i want to be surprised... or jumpscared 😨

Ok, so here’s my delu— i mean my first theory. It has everything to do with her Stand. H4B’s evolution/influence isn’t just some silly side effect thing, it’s a slow recurring thing that’s been subtly affecting mc throughout the story. The headaches, the static liquid bleeding from her eye? That’s foreshadowing. You dropped the bomb on us that H4B is the reincarnation or soul of her mom, so what if over time, it started realizing how dumb her daughter is for staying in la squadra? In a desperate attempt to protect her daughter H4B overloaded her brain, frying it or smth, suppressing her emotions or past. A traumatic event during a solo mission could have been the trigger, leaving mc in a vulnerable blanked out state where she collapses.

We’ve already seen that H4B is a sentient stand, sometimes acting on its own, so it’s not far fetched to think it made this decision for her daughter. This is like they're 2nd time running away together from a problem. This would explain why la squadra (except melone) believed she’s dead cause they had already witnessed something similar with sorlato (who i’d like to believe are alive somewhere saved by the power of plot armor... making sweet, sweet love… crazy kids… to be in love…)

Enter bucci’s team. They find her in this altered state and take her in which perfectly aligns with another sneak peek you revealed in the past where abba saved her. While she’s with them, temporarily "forgetting" la squadra or can't act upon it since H4B controls her emotions when it comes to them, this is where her rs with bucci and abba begin to grow. Cause how else is abba/reader and bucci/reader going to develop if she wasn’t with them for an extended period? Girl i could smell the trauma bonding. Abba and mc with their trauma with guns, mc’s past is not the best but even then maybe her and bucci could bond over their love for the ocean (idk if mc loves the ocean, i just know she’s sentimental, i think, over it since her and melone used to live near the beach)

Mc had to be gone long enough for la squadra to fully believe she’s dead but at the same time her "death" must have happened soon enough for baby face’s tracking to still detect her DNA. So maybee… one of the bucci’s members interfered? Like they saw some weird ass uggo looking stand constantly trying to follow them/mc and were like "wtf? looks dangerous. *whacks it*"

Oh yeahh and then there's her necklace that was gifted by melone. I feel like it’s going to be crucial in getting her memories back cause if i remember correctly you mentioned in the ao3 comments that it’s going to play an important role. So maybe that’s the key to breaking wtv suppression H4B placed on her

And finally my second theory– none of our theories means shit because u're going to introduce something we aren’t even aware of yet anway 💀

when i tell you ive spent the past hour pacing back and forth around my room because of this theory i AM NOT LYING oh my actual god what the fuck how the fuck there is a LOT you said here that is genuinely one thousand percent accurate that its SCARING me like i genuinely do not i dont what the

there is a SO MUCH i want to say about this BUT I CANT IM SO SORRY I REALLY LIKE THIS THOUGH YOU ARE SO SMART FOR PICKING UP ON ALL THE LITTLE DETAILS

now, as much as you got a few things right, you ALSO got some stuff wrong AND I WONT CLARIFY WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG because im EVIL - but you are correct in that there are things that havent been introduced to the plot yet that will shift things :3

OH AND MC absolutely is nostalgic for the sea, i think cuz growing up she was never really happy with her parents and home life, living with Melone gave her a sense of freedom and happiness and so she DEFINITELY holds a sentimental place for the ocean and beaches !!

[bulbabutt]

yooooooo all i do lately is vent vent vent uhhh

itsssss really annoying to feel traumatized over shit that doesnt actually matter at all but you cant feel like a person who functions cuz of it

like. mkay, few years ago i did a stupid thing which was uh. pre coming out but post taking testosterone tell this girl ('girl' she was older than me, im an adult but sos she) i that i was trans. then that i had a crush on her. like a fucking idiot, i was like 'girl pretty girl nice maybe i can finally have something'

and the thing was like. we had this lax fucking job that didnt matter, we were both basically running this shitty lil store nobody came in for the christmas season. and like i had admitted id never done anything, but i should have noticed it was gonna be weird quicker, cuz while she was understanding of like 'ok yeah youre a dude i get that' it was. hmm. it wasnt really like she felt like that, and she didnt notice so much that shit she would say hurt my feelings. like this was so unserious honestly, but uh the thing abt taking t in your mid 20s is youre like... right im... im going through a literal puberty and being stupid as a teenager. im bad with expressing my feelings normally cuz of that.

anyway. it was a fling really. it was stupid and shouldnt have happened, and it probably hurt me more than i thought, but she got like... jealous of one of the employees who id known from a prev job... who to me was like. literally a child (cuz like, id known her since she was) and that made me feel so weird, cuz i was like ?? why the hell would i be thinking about her like that i havent done ANYTHING that would make you think that. and hello i only said i liked you ? but then i guess the age gap was the same in her eyes and so that might have been why she thought that. but like pfft if youre ~25 dating a ~30 yr old its whatever thats normal. going the other way gets weirder ESP if uh. HELLO i was this kids boss?? that was so weird that she felt like that. i guess cuz i was just better at getting along w people younger than me, as someone who isnt a TRUE millennial, someone whos pop culture references lean gen z or whatever. idk i just know kids like my vibe for some reason. there was NEVER anything else going on i was just... being chill? but that was enough to cause jealousy.

but like yeah theres only so many 3 weeks in 'i dont think this is a good idea i think im bad for you' texts you can get before you just go 'yeah you know what i dont wanna do this anymore actually thats fine no hard feelings'

but i tend to be a person who just cant socialize with people for long periods of time, i ghost people a lot, i dont have a history of having friends i dont know how to maintain relationships, but also i really didnt want to at this point. i felt really gross about it and embarrassed for putting myself out there and admitting a secret about myself.

anyway next year rolls around and i see her at the next job season and she tells me she and another coworker found my tiktok page (cuz shit forcibly adding your contacts IS THE DEVIL) and uh. she had to explain to said coworker that i was trans. which. felt like shit. obviously. i was still not out.

anyway THAT person was a piece of shit who talked down to me and acted like i was terrible at my job and brought aLL the personal shit up as if i had ever trusted HER with any of it. like using my new chosen name in texts and shit to call me out for nothing. i had to give her a fucking 'excuse me, you dont get to call me that i never fucking told you that and its WEIRD that you think you get to call me that just cuz you invaded my privacy.'

she literally told both my bosses about all my private shit with this girl. like all that stupid bullshit about how we had dated and it didnt go well, she spread my private shit. and like... it all... ugh. like i got told by said bosses 'hey. none of what she said is important at all dont even worry about it.' and i really appreciated that. but that year was so bad for me, i felt like i was being watched like everything i did was being misconstrued. everything blew up so fast if there was something sma,, and it was 100% that person making it worse.

next year i just came out finally just was like. yeah alright. got a beard now, had my tits removed, might as well. and everyone was chill. personal beef spreading bitch didnt come back (the bosses were glad of that) shit was chill. was on friendly terms with "ex" being normal, never had any beef that year. was very much a 'the beef we had the previous year was this bitch egging her on'. i was partially running store. everything was fine i thought.

next year. as it turns out? was not asked to help run store that year. was very confused, there was a slot to fill that no one else could and i wasnt asked to do it. instead they had this absolute bigot who made everyone and i mean EVERYONE who worked there so uncomfortable, abusive language bigoted talk, wouldnt let people leave if they were sick ass piece of shit.. yeah he got the job. and everyone complained, but hes friends with the boss so whatever.

anyway reached my wits end. quit mid season. was fine, i was moving anyway, it was whatever.

you know why i wasnt asked to have that job? cuz the ex. for some reason without thinking, said 'yeah ill come back but i dont want him to be in charge after last year'. and she... never told me there was any problem. and that hurt me so bad. like talking to other people who were there, it all seemed like... okay, i was good at my job and would just.. act like a boss and not a friend sometimes. like be the guy going 'hey can you like. go do __ i need to count the till i dont have time to hear your funny joke rn'. and she took it personally. like its fine if youre sensitive to stuff, but i was under so much stress a lot and i dont always handle it well.

and that beef she had that she didnt tell me about turned into me losing a job, losing my sanity, feeling utterly betrayed and forcing everyone else who worked there to deal with the biggest pos as a boss with no repercussions. i heard from people post quitting i was being talked shit about by my prev bosses TO the employees. for the crime of... complaining about a bigot. who was misgendering me, being racist to other employees, making the teens feel unsafe to be around. like this was a SCREAMING old man kind of shit.

and all because the ex, initially, made a comment about not wanting me to be in charge. and i just... i really dont even know what i did. it was so underhanded. and when i asked her about it, she just said 'no i didnt say i WOULDNT work under you i just said i HOPED you wouldnt be in charge, and weeks later i asked why you werent in charge' but like??? no. you literally said something that cost me a job. you did. theres no taking that back, you didnt tell me any beef you had with me, you clearly equated job stress with personal stress. you cost me a job! YOU did that you set off a chain of events! and like i cant even begin to explain how much i helped her with shit at jobs. like i kind of took all the responsibility but we were both being paid the same. i would get called every day by her being confused by things while i was at home and help walk her through shit. it was fine, i was stressed but i was fine i never held it against her!

and she like. blew up that entire shit. that whole job i loved got blown up cuz i thought i trusted a person. like was it entirely her fault? obviously not. but that kind of shit.. it just hurt. the idea that i trusted her with my own shit years ago, then time and time again that blew up in my face until i just cant look back at any of it happily anymore makes me so upset. 8 years of a job i loved w a friend, and it all got ruined cuz i said 'hey by the way, im trans' and that spiralled into something stupid.

and i havent had a job since for SOOOOOOME REASON..... i sit at home doing fuck all cuz i cant stand the idea of being around anybody again. i dont trust anybody. i dont feel safe talking to people, being in public, having a job... its so stupid and i hate everything.

also the whole. got clocked and almost punched had my 6 ft brother not been standing near me at the time thing. so now i am uh. just completely agoraphobic.

anyway. sorry i am just in a bad place lately.

[shreddeddescent]

thinking about the turtles sexuality / gender question.

i keep saying raph is trans and thats true, but its more like it was a physical thing that happened to him where his whole world flipped around, and he still identifies with boy he doesnt see himself as a girl. but it could be way more fluid than that. he latches onto the 'trans' label cuz it makes sense, its probably something casey had to tell him existed. ive only ever called him trans masc. his brothers dont see him different, they always had a brother named raphael. they know human gender standards and they know as a whole they dont fit them.

maybe none of them feel like proper men but SHREDDER would have talked about them that way. twins are pretty young to discuss such things, but donnie specifically feels like nothing in particular. leo's only now fighting back against those norms his dad would have put on him. i think hes questioning. and mikey is baby. mikeys not thinking about it.

raph knows being around yokai that everyone suddenly can TELL hes female, and that makes everything worse. cuz they can spot that kind of thing better there. he didnt realize how much he liked human gender standards cuz if you dont look like a girl you're assumed guy. usually how that works, gender as performance of women and all that stuff. yokai are different, they know what non human sexes look like.

sexuality wise raph is fucked. he likes women for sure. but like he also uh doesnt wanna act on anything cuz everything feels bad. so like he turns his brain off a bit when it comes to sex most of the time. he twists the feeling of attraction with the feeling of being used, why his situationship w casey is so weird.

i wanna say leos probably had partners but i cant justify explaining how. raph has casey who the hell does leo have as even a friend? hrmmmmmm. but like if i could justify it i would say leos experimented with people. but. i have no idea who.

and the twins! are 13! so who knows! donnie probably thinks hes ace but also theyre babies! theyre still growing! i wouldnt wanna speculate abt it heavily yet.

[r0tt3n-gvtz]

HIIII!!! *throws Usaihara stuff at you*

im so sorry if i get any of this wrong its all from memory but

usaihara is a pregame danganronpa fan comic thingy of shuichi saihara :3 it sounds so weird when i explain it but i swear its rlly good its this thingy where Shuichi invited his friends to a party, but then none of his friends show up, meaning he had to change his day (the change part is important ‼️) so then he was pissed and so he killed them, starting w Maki, but then after Maki he realized he missed some calls from Kokichi so hes like oh darn and then Kokichi showed up at his door, running away as he saw Makis body, but then shuichi was like ermmm okay i'll jst go to Rantaro, so he killed Rantaro during the Hells Kitchen arc, then goes to see Kokichi in the forest, the same place they used to go when they were kids to see the bunnies, the bunnies are a RLLY big part of Usaihara :3 so then while Shuichi is on his way, Kokichi finds Kaedes body and panics, then Shuichi shows up and sorta hust blacks out for a moment and accidentally stabs his shoulder, but shuichi is like nah man its all good but then Kokichi makes Shuichi realize he fucked up and so shuichi is like "oh." and thats also when one of my fav quotes comes from "jeez… ive messed up again, havent i? its so hard to tell when ive fucked up…" and hes so real for that (usaihara is pretty high up on my kin list aside from the insane and murder part) but then shuichi is like okay i cant back out now and so he goes to kill Tsumugi next, letting Kokichi survive cuz im 99% sure the creator ships saioma so then he goes to Tsumugis house and breaks in, but then in there Tsumugi is like what the frick man you just broke so many laws i didnt even get an invite so then Shuichi realized "oh dear i forgot to give out the invites. this was all for nothing. oopsies.." but still hes like ermmm too late fuck you and tries killing again, then tsumugi escapes <33 some other things that r important in it is the bunnies and change during usaihara, the bunnies represent change, that shows during the flashback of Kokichi and Shuichi going out to the forest to see the bunnies but the bunnies werent there, making Shuichi panic and making Kokichi realize how little shuichi can handle change, but then Shuichi finds the bunnies so that whole part is kinda like, shuichi CANT STAND change at all and he would do anything to put things back to normal. as well as the quote "my job is done when the bunnies are back where they belong." meaning that Shuichi can only stop when everything is back to normal, even if it means killing his friends as well, its called Usaihara cuz usami means bunny so usami + saihara = usaihara, and saihara has the bunny ears on his hat as well to go with the bunnies and change usaihara is legit so me aside from the insanity and murder

again, im so sorry if i got any of this wrong

its all from memory and the fandom is like nonexistent so i cant just ask ppl if im right

but also im still trying to figure out whag happened in the end, the "i dont understand why rabbits run when i try to catch them, but i understand why they hide."

but my fav quote is "my job is done when the rabbits are back where they belong" or "jeez... ive messed up again? its so hard to tell when i've fucked up..." or "i want to hate you. i want to be mad. instead, i just feel sad."

but also i LOVE the part where kokichi is talking about the day the bunnies werent there that spring "there was a place in the woods we used to go to as kids. every spring, rabbits used to nest there. one spring, we had trouble finding the rabbits. it was such a little thing. such a simple thing, but it made me realize how little Saihara can handle change." and also the "you're crying. you're crying because you dont know what to do. you're crying because theres nothing you CAN do."

i have made a redraw of the "you're doing it again. putting your hand in front of your face." "of course you only notice when i fall back into my old habits! do you even realize what you've done?!" "what ive done..??? jeez... ive messed up again... jts so hard to tell when ive fucked up... what have i...? is that so? no, that doesnt even make sense ... i would never do that!!!" and ive also made a redraw of the part with tsumugi and saihara in the "SERIOUSLY, IF YOU DONT SHUT UP IM GOING TO LOSE MY FUCKING MIND." "i think you've already got that covered." both of them with my OCs and ive made my own AU with my OCs in place of danganronpa characters, the ones i have so far is Zack as Tsumugi, Moxxie as Kokichi, and Flame as Usaihara :3

[nerves-nebula]

Sorry bout this thing but I kinda wanted to tell my thoughts about your stuff. Im kind of hoping this will get drowned in your inbox honestly, since this is just a really long unsolicited rant of mine.

Sometimes when i scroll through your account and I encounter csa, incest and mentions of suicide in your posts I get uncomfortable but then I remember that one phrase that goes something like "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted" and I just feel kinda bad bout myself.

When I was a kid my nannys bf forced me to kiss him in the lips whenever we met. I was 6. It was uncomfortable. I never did tell my nanny about it. My parents are both police people and my mother had long explained the concept of rape and how unconsensual touch is bad and you shouldnt allow that but something prevented me from telling anyone what was happening. I dont know why. I know they would immiedietly jail that guy if they did but somehow it felt like no one would believe me. I never told them until now, then when I was what, 6-8 years old? I cant even remember. Yeah somewhere around that, he molested me when my nanny was few feet away and asleep and for the next 4 years of my life i felt dirty. Desecrated. Stupid. I couldnt even look down at my naked body when i shower back then, but somehow I managed to trudge on living by trying to forget the fact it happened. Its been 8 years since Ive last seen him. Ive told anyone who I knew who doesnt care enough to be friends with me but cared enough to listen about it but my Parents are none the wiser and i plan on keeping it that way.

Also. Im a year away from being legal now. Ive thought about killing myself or just generally not wanting to exist anymore many times since then, cuz lifes equipped with motolov cocktails of "get fucked dumbass" and i somehow managed to get a coupon for at least a million of them.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

Coming back to the phrase i mentioned earlier, it feels weird whenever i feel something similar to the feeling of being triggered while looking at csa being depicted. By definition, i would be considered a victim, and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont. I see your art and it guts me. It guts me and the fact that it does also guts me, because what does that mean? I am supposed to be the comforted? Despite the fact that I was taken advantage of as a child and spent night after might thinking how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equiped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children? So i do I correspond more with those who are defined as comforted then, was i not disturbed after all? Was i victimizing myself all along? Am I a bad person for thinking i was? No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

And then it repeats.

I still go through your blog because well, i love tmnt, i love your artstyle, i love the way you tell stories, I love how you dont sugar coat csa, incest and other darker topics like body horror, erotism and sadism, i hate how much it haunts me, i love the fact i can relate, i hate how much you hurt them, i love the fact that you dont hold back, i love how you show the ugly sides of healing, i love how you depict how much people can change and struggle. Its comforting to me. Its discomforting to me. I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

And i like it. I like it somehow, like taking a nice smoke break when you have mild asthma, but like, better. Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

But yeah. Tldr. Sorry for the trauma dump and your art makes me feel complicated. Its neat 👍

lot to reply to here! also, unfortunately for you, i check my inbox obsessively and dont get nearly as many asks as you seem to believe i do.

so firstly, no snappy saying is meant to encompass all of human experience, and you certainly shouldn't judge yourself for not fitting into it. easier said than done, i know, but still. i'm gonna try to address some things here, not gonna touch on all of it, but just know that i appreciate you sitting down to write me this.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

it made me smile, but i laughed at this, because it's a very sweet look into you writing this. puts into perspective how, even though this is public, it was written TO me. like a letter in victorian times or something. that's sweet, i like that.

and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont.

you're making a lot of assumptions here that are kind of wild in that "this thought process was clearly designed by your mind to upset you specifically" sort of way. I mean, would you say this to literally anyone else when they feel uncomfortable or triggered about viewing media that relates to their trauma? There's really no telling what a survivor will feel comforted by and you aren't Doing It Wrong by having a different reaction.

there's a reason i tag it as "csa tw" and that's so people can AVOID it as well as search it up.

how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equipped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children?

i know you recognize at the end of the thought process that this is not true, but i feel the need to reiterate: there is no such thing as being less vulnerable than other children through your own actions. you can try to equip kids with knowledge that might protect them, but that doesn't make them any less vulnerable.

my dad told me about rape and molestation all the time, but he never accounted for the kinds of scenarios i was actually the most likely to fall victim to, partly because i don't think he actually knew much about childhood sexual abuse, and partly because he was more obsessed with the idea of me being kidnapped and raped/murdered than he was about forms of sexual abuse he'd consider more "mild"

No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

i can't answer that one, unfortunately. personally, i like to feel gutted, it's cathartic to me. might be something like that to you, based on how you go on to describe it, but you might also be doing some kinda self harm.

I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

saaaaame. i triggered myself into a breakdown in class once cuz i'd been reading fucked fanfiction before class and i got SAD lol.

Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

we are shaking hands over this.

anywho, no need to apologize! i am glad, if nothing else, to provide you with a strange and upsetting experience that is not entirely bad.

I really do adore hearing how my stuff makes people feel. it's like, a solid one third of the reason i do this. i still make stuff that doesn't exist to be shown off but WOW showing shit off and getting a response feels FANTASTIC. like, i'm in your head now!! you have been CHANGED by my ART. it's maybe the best part of being alive.

[asterefflores]

totally random but i saw the one guy who asked "who is orig cale to you" and im just a lil baffled lol. like... i didnt know that there were people who didnt consider og cale to be... og cale??? like... it's a transmigration novel. obviously kimcale isnt og cale??? thats the whole premise of the story???? unless they're talking about how the author hinted that kimcale's original name might have been "cale barrow" bc white star stole his body???? idk, i just didnt know there was anyone in the fandom who thought like that and im just a lil baffled and im wondering if someone can explain it to me cuz i cant quite wrap my mind around it LOL

cuz like...... we all know in literally chapter 1 that kimcale's real name is kim rok soo??? and we're reminded several times throughout the novel???????? like...... how do you read the novel and not notice that kimcale's name isnt actually cale????? (even with the ws thing, its totally possible that "cale barrow" isnt the name of kim rok soo's stolen body but rather the name that white star had back 1,000 years ago. which only makes sense when you consider "barrow" so like... kim rok soo's original name before his body was stolen is actually probably not even cale???)

its not really important who has which name in my opinion tbh, they could both be named bob for all i care, its just a bit weird to me that there are fans who dont know this??? idk, maybe they're the type of fan who's never read the novel but enjoyed the fandom so they just dont know?????? cuz like.... its just canon??? like not spoiler information??? this is literally chapter 1 information????????? im just guessing now. idk why this is so stuck in my head LOL sometimes i just fixate on shit and i cant quite turn my brain off. can anyone explain to me how this works???? or did i just misread the ask. im kinda focusing on the part that says "for you" which insinuates that there are people who call kimcale as orig cale and im like.... ??????????????????

Well, sorry I find this funny, wasn't expecting it lol, anyways,,

I was also confused at first but thought maybe they assumed I was the one confused and mixed ogCale with kimCale or something xD

Some in the fandom don't get me when I say ogCale and then post an art of Cale in Krs body, and apparently to majority, ogCale is Trash Cale or young Cale, while to me ogCale is just the same whether young Cale or Cale in Krs body later.

Or maybe they simply phrased the question wrong by mistake or as you said, enjoyed the fandom and hadn't read the novel or the Manhwa.

[littlegeecko]

Apologies if i'm being a bit slow, but why is Kojin becoming famous a bad thing?

Im going to assume you weren't there during the whole "fnf x sonic.exe mixup" era, where most of the popularity of exes came from and for fnf. Kojin and Axell were made around that time

During those times quite a hanful of shitty people were called out on the regular mainly for uh, incorrect behaviour around minors while they worked on their mods, or generally in their discord servers and such, and even to this day people still do shit like sexualizing canonically minor characters such as (soul) Tails, Hog, Sunky thought he's ageless in canon, etc etc (like serious, even if they didnt had especific ages- why do u see em that way)

And man, i really dont wanna come across art of that kind of my own little guys, specially Kojin since you know, he means a lot to me; all my creations mean a lot to me, but hes a kid, i dont wanna risk ppl getting too comfortable drawing nasty shit of him cuz he's famous and known alongside other exes, cuz idk i guess some dont have that kinda self restraint.

i guess i dont want my little guy to reach so far it gets to the eyes of the nasty freaks (in a derrogative sense) i would prefer a thousand times for Axell and Skintaker to be in the public eye, and if ppl do stuff of em i wont care much really unless its some serious weird shit

so yea. Its hard to explain these feelings on twitter since its full of people wanting to make the life of exe creators impossible, so i cant express my disdain over there, they could start getting ideas

[vorecommunitywoes]

anyway hi pine

Something they said about someone labeling them a groomer aka turning someone into red paste is no excuse to make a callout." absolutely no one called them a groomer, and that was also not the only reason why there was a callout post. they were just fantasizing about being violent towards a hypothetical person calling them a groomer

again expressing graphic violence against other ppl is generally seen as bad and weird

the sfw community is playing this down because they want to be able to interact with porn blogs without consequence, srry to say. the rules only apply when THEY feel hurt, not if they hurt other ppl

"If someone is caling your actioms stupid thats not ableist." calling someone an idiot is not calling their actions stupid, it is imposing ur view of them as someone who is disabled. words mean things. tinysuzy literally said she was "mentally concerned for my mental comprehension", seeing me as someone lower than her, that is NOT criticizing my actions, thats, again, the same as saying u think someone is mentally disabled. if u can explain why comparing someones negative actions to disabilities isnt ableism aside from "everyone does it" that would be an interesting read. using disabilities in negative language affects how u see disabled people, making those connected of disabled people as being something undignified and being OK to use for insults. it is entirely about demeaning someone u dont like or who made a mistake and comparing them to someone mentally disabled. this is wrong, dont u think? why or why not?

"If your disability made you sct poorly, its not an excuse its an explanation." i mean yeah obviously. no one is arguing this! ppl who act poorly as a result of their disabilities can still b talked to, or if it is severely life affecting they should seek support when possible!

",no one is targeting your disability they are targtting your actions" saying ur worried about someones "mental comprehension" is NOT targeting their actions! neither is calling them mentally lesser by saying they arent "the sharpest tool in the shed". that is just calling them mentally handicapped

turn anons off for a while. the threats i dont ever condone but u can easily prevent them and control how ppl interact with u. this seems to generally be a big issue with the community with ppl claiming they cant control who they interact with

"The nsfw blogs we interavted with as a result of us interacting eit rebloged posts can now use amo against this community. Its already happened." CHECK PPLS DNIS BEFORE INTERACTING WITH THEM EVEN IF ITS A REBLOG? this is not a community u can just interact with whoever u see whenever. u have to have basic respect for ppl especially adults. why wouldnt ppl with nsfw blogs be upset about this?

"Adults of this community, you may not like it but you need to look out for the younger memebers especially ones who follow and interact eit you. Its the same for every content creator with a young fanbase. You are no different." but u dont feel the same way about ppl who have nonsexual interests in other topics that ppl usually see as "fetishes" like feet/BDSM. y is that different here?

also again start talking to disability activists about using mental handicaps as insults. are u only saying it bcuz it feels right to you? and not talking 2 other ppl who have different perspectives on this? are u only relying on ur pov or in ur friend group for this or have u been researching? srsly connect with ppl ab this stuff. my pov on this comes from irl groups and friends and personal experiences

"If they use the r slur to you and know youre disabled, , invisble or visible - THAT IS ABLEISM!!" .........is it ok to use it if they arent disabled? what? or is it only ableism, but still not socially acceptable, if they use it on someone who isnt disabled? what is the implication there

anyway an archival of what im replying to cuz i figure its good to keep track of whos saying what in these convos

[mothlover69]

Buggy Pokemon AU!! Putting it below the cut cuz its a bit longer than i meant it to be hahahaha

Buggy ends up showing up in the pokemon world. His body has gone missing somehow in the isekai process. He can only hope that the rest of him is around here somewhere

He is attacked by every pokemon that sees him. It only stops when a mysterious grey... dog?... thing saves him

He wants to ask this pokemon all his questions but they cant communicate. Still, they seem to sticking around anyway.

So Buggy rants about his woes. He doesnt know where he is, he doesnt know where the rest of him is, he misses his partner Jinx, etc etc etc

The pokemon listens, and then when hes done, it starts gesturing as if they want him to climb onto their back. So he does. And off they go!

He meets people along the way. Everyone throws these weird red and white balls at him the moment they see him... and it really hurts when they bounce off his head! He manages to get someone to stop and listen and they're most helpful. Explaining about pokemon and pokeballs and trainers... this new world hes found himself in sure is flashy!

Meanwhile, Jinx is in the One Piece world desperately trying to figure out how to recreate what happened to Buggy so they can go find him.

After im sure many adventures, Buggy is reunited with the rest of his body!

Someone gives him pokeballs. Everyone is so generous, its shocking to him. He got caught stealing once and the person just shrugged and let him have it. Thats weird and confusing for a pirate

Anyway, first thing he does is try to catch what he now knows is something called a "growlithe". He fails. They apparently do not want to be caught, they just want to be his friend.

He also now understands he's somewhere called "Alola". Some shirtless guy that calls himself a "professor" offers to give him a pokemon. He chooses a little clown seal apparently called Popplio. He names it Buggy Jr.

He also comes across a tiny little clown creature called Mime Jr. He calls it Mini Buggy. His third pokemon is a pile of sludge called Alolan Grimer. Well, its more like the Grimer found him and just won't leave, so he goes ahead and catches it. Calls it "little sludge monster".

(I have not decided if im gonna give him a full team or stop at 3 like the average trainers in the game)

The growlithe sticks around. Even though it refuses to be caught, he takes to calling it Jinx. Something about it just really reminds him of his partner... or maybe he just misses them too much and hes projecting.

Oh I think he meets my human pokemon s/i too! And he feels like the wind got knocked out of him bc why do they have his partner's face?? Not much comes of the interaction. G isnt really interested in talkiny to some weird clown.

The real Jinx manages to crash their way into the pokemon world. Finding Buggy is actually pretty easy. They ask if any brightly clowns have passed by, and after clarifying they DONT mean a mime jr or a mr mime, most people are able to point them in the right direction.

Idk what happens next.

[noxiatoxia]

I want you to know that I'm forcing my best friend to watch ohshc and he really doesn't get the Cinderella pumpkin carriage metaphor. Hates it, is just beyond confused. He's like who's Cinderella here? Are they all Cinderella? Where's the glass slipper? Was Tamaki the old horse because he's the coachmen? What rats turned into the horses? Is there a prince? I'm just like listen babe its not that thought out. Tamaki was sad and alone, now he has found family, but one day found family will end. Like how it all turns back to crap at midnight in Cinderella. Then he's like. So what's midnight got to do with it? Its so amusing and I wanted you to know that everytime he complains I think about you lmao.

We also have a shitty old no name Cinderella movie we got at the thrift store in our watch list and once I watch it I'll be so curious to ask if youve seen it before given the Cinderella movie nights you have. Its in a bundle with like 10 other weird animated princess movies, so hopefully its good! (doubt it)

DUUUDE YOUR FRIEND IS A REAL ONE HE JUST LIKE ME FRFR HE GETS IT THIS SHIT SUUUUUCKS FUCK THE CARRIAGE I HAVE SPENT SO LONG TRYING TO PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER okok my theory is:

fairy godmother: tamaki (caster of the spell)

spell: the host club (the "good thing")

midnight: graduation (the time when "good thing" must come to an end)

cinderella: haruhi . ? this is the only point i dont know. see bc here is the thing. kaoru is autistic enough surely to know that cinderella, even after the spell ends, GETS her happy ending, so HE cant be cinderella bc he's convinced he isnt getting a happy ending. so i think he believes haruhi will get her happy ending, whatever that may be....but he himself is like, HE IS the carriage. think abt it. cinderella gets a happy ending, but the carriage, that pumpkin only turns into a carriage once, right? and once that carriage turned back into a pumpkin at midnight, it never became a carriage again. cinderella went on to be happy, but that pumpkin is useless now. and like we dont care cuz its just a pumpkin, but here, kaoru maybe sees himself as this personified pumpkin. he gets this limelight, this spell, and once it ends, it ends for good. i mean it explains why he is so fixated on the pumpkin/carriage specifically. thats the only way it makes sense bc kaoru HAS to know cinderella has a happy ending...and i know you could argue well, he is just using the metaphor, not the actual fairytale, but the metaphor itself is so intrinsicly tied to the fairytale that it doesnt matter. you know.

well . anyways yes yes please let me know about this cinderella movie you have pleeeeease i need to know if i've seen it before....i Must watch all cinderella movies.

[potatochip-oc-dump]

i am going to dump a bit of lore on your doorstep (by copy and pasting smth i wrote on discord a few days ago) so i can give context to something i have drawn

disclaimer: it may be long and wordy. but thats what its all about baby

"in short i finally figured out how Arthur gets their name.

so to preface this i must offer. context. be warned this is gonna be one of those Rambles.

before we begin, i am debating on whether or not i should keep the 'arthur possessing gidget' thing, change it to where they possess chip (?), or get rid of it... my reasoning being: i think it makes more sense for arthur to be closer to chip especially cuz they end up as siblings in the end, ALSO i dont remember why gigi had to be the one that was possessed and i think the story would work just fine if it was somebody else.

in fact itd probably work even better with chip not only bc the theming of Being In The Wrong Body and everyone claiming u r somebody youre not works even better if its with chip, it also works cuz chip in the story is frequently like... whats the word. overlooked. or not taken seriously.

but anyways:

two, there is a plot point sometime during chip & gidget's stay in the castelle manor in which everyone but chip is trapped inside a dream by moonlight (in the waking world they are all asleep & cant wake up) bc she is searching their dreams in order to find Arthur (and kill them)

hopefully that doesnt sound. too convoluted. ah. anyways. something something chip teams up w arthur to enter their dreams and wake them up. i think.

i think probably arthur was either forced into going w chip or he agreed relunctantly, but (assuming he is still possessing someone) chip asks arthur if they can see his real face. and he agrees but in a way that makes it clear he is Lying

they wake up in (.....i dont think i have a solid name for this place yet. i think i called it Space 2 in my lore doc for the bit but i think itll be called 'otherside')

and Arthur just looks like a weird version of [whoever they were possessing at the time.] chip comments on it and art's like 'oh you mean my REAL REAL face yeah ok let me. um.' (they change into an exact copy of chip.) 'Better?'

at this point it is becoming clear that arthur might not have a 'real face,' but chip doesnt know that yet

meanwhile there is some chatter between the two, w arthur passively explaining who Midnight and Moonlight are. ALSO there is a fun fact i think about moonlight canonically having a preference for Women & that Arthur's pre-death appearance was modelled after the first human woman. i think. at one point they get onto the topic of art and chip asks Arthur if they like to draw, in which they respond: 'no.' Riveting.

something something climactic point where arthur breaks down and finally admits that they dont have a body, dont have any of their powers, and they cant even remember what theyre supposed to look like. he says that he feels useless!

& then chip says something like 'you dont have to have powers to like. create stuff.'

and then they draw together :]

chip agrees to help give him a "new face" so to speak by drawing him a FURSONA (it is a JACKRABBIT with a RAINCOAT AND UMBRELLA and an EYEPATCH and like. epic scars. and two swords. and a pet dolphin & demon wings. and other convoluted detailed design elements akin to that of a sparkledog) which they lovingly name 'Arthur.' (maybe w a last name like 'skullcrusher' or soemthing)

and arthur like draws his own version of that. which is Close to what Arthur's design is currently. & he's like 'yeah. so um. uhh. close your eyes i cant do it while youre looking.'

(chip puts their paws over their eyes.) 'um ok! what are you doing?'

'im gonna show you the real me.'

& then he looks like the character he drew."