#i am an ally and proud of it

[sexygayvampire]

hey does anyone else ever think about archon!dorian and lose their minds

[arachnyaid]

*twirling my hair* hiiiiii AM

[egg-on-a-legg]

anooother poster design for my upcoming shop!!

[object-yaoi]

he's just confused as to where you even found wrapping paper honestly

and a silly doodle i drew really small because i'm trying to force my handwriting to be legible (in case you cant read it: "if you don't like it that's ok-" (interrupting) "I'M KEEPING IT FOREVER AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME." "OK."

[blackjackkent]

The second of the chains binding Orpheus in place shatters under the blow of the Hammer, and the magical prison explodes in a burst of light that makes Rakha have to flinch and look away.

She opens her eyes to find that the shards of light have fallen away, and the githyanki prisoner is sitting on his knees on the stone.

He draws himself slowly to his feet, then with a sudden motion lashes out with one hand, psionically summoning the sword of one of his fallen honor guard into his hand.

Narrator: As the githyanki prince takes his blade, a silent cry pierces your head. It's unlike any sensation you've ever felt.

Rakha grunts, clutching her temple as she steps back away from the point of the sword turned in her direction. This is - not pain, exactly, but a new connection, one she doesn't recognize. There's little time to analyze it, though, as Orpheus takes another step towards her, raising the blade so it is level with her throat.

"You reek of illithid," he hisses. His narrowed eyes are cold with disgust. "You destroyed a githyanki creche. And you slaughtered my honor guard."

She can see the rage work through him; she knows that expression, the desperate desire to strike, to destroy, to avenge. But he waits it out, holds it in, his knuckles whitening in their grip on the weapon's hilt. "Nonetheless," he growls, "it seems we must be allies."

She could not have maintained the alliance with the Emperor, not anymore - but nevertheless Rakha was worried this might be the reaction when Orpheus stepped from his prison and saw the wretched lines wrought into her face. She shoots a sideways look at Lae'zel, who steps forward at once, her head lifting proudly.

"Your Majesty. The Prince of the Comet," she says with earnest reverence. "Gith's true heir. It is an honor."

"Do not patronize me," Orpheus sneers, and Lae'zel's head snaps back as if he's slapped her.

In truth, Orpheus is barely looking at her; his attention is fully focused on Rakha and her illithid-corrupted appearance, wary and ready to strike. "You rejected the illithid when it no longer suited your needs. No doubt you freed me because it suits you now," he says, disdain in every syllable. "I will neither forgive nor forget your abuse of my powers."

Rakha grimaces. Nothing about this is false; everything Orpheus accuses her of is something that she has indeed done. Deaths and alliances and betrayals that all seemed necessary at the time - for survival, to keep fighting... or sometimes simply to spill blood. There is nothing she can say in defense of herself - except that it worked, and she has made it here to this moment.

"You're free now, aren't you?"(*) she asks curtly.

"I could have been free much sooner!" Sudden rage flares through the cold disdain. "You had the opportunity to surrender yourself to my honor guard. They would have given you a noble end!" His jaw works angrily. "Any worthy individual destined to become ghaik would have done so. My guard would have freed me, and I would have stopped the elder brain before it evolved into a Netherbrain."

He tilts his head back, looking at Rakha with a sad, bitter scowl. "All that suffering... avoidable - were it not for the choices *you* made."

Rakha stares back at him, resisting the urge to flinch away from his eyes. Perhaps the accusation is truth - and yet what does it matter? She has the blood of thousands on her hands far beyond what the brain has effected. Orpheus cannot give her any condemnation she has not already given herself.

But she came here, and she turned the Emperor away, and she pulled Orpheus from his prison at her friend's urging. Surely that counts for something.

"Let's forget about the past," she mutters curtly. "I was... misled. What now?"

Orpheus glares at her skeptically for a long moment. Then he shrugs resignedly. "We will destroy the Netherbrain together, and put a stop to this nascent Empire before it expands into the stars."

He paces a few steps side to side, and then scowls. "The ghaik was correct about one thing. The Netherbrain's power is beyond us. The hardest metal in the world will not cut through its mind, for it is made of thought itself."

He folds his arms with a grim expression. "At this point, it will take an illithid to unleash the full potential of the Netherstones."

Rakha stares at him, bafflement slowly giving way to horrified understanding.

The Emperor was telling the truth - about this, at least. An illithid must control the Netherstones in order to have a chance against the brain. And she just drove away the only illithid they had any chance of allying with.

Well - not the only one.

She looks over her shoulder impulsively, finds the others all watching her with varying levels of dread. They have all realized the inescapable truth in the same moment - if the Emperor is gone, then one of them must evolve.

It should be me, Rakha thinks numbly. It will have to be me. She has already consumed so many of the illithid worms, after all. She has taken on their abilities, traces of their magic. It is a small step, in a way, towards that final evolution.

If it is what must be done in order to see that this fight finally, finally ends... And yet the idea makes her stomach churn; her vision blurs for a moment and she clenches her hands at her sides in a desperate attempt to steady herself.

A hard irony; she has worked so hard, these last weeks, to try to find out who she is, what she is, who she might like to become when she is finally able to escape the cycle of destruction for which she was born. She has tried so desperately to find peace, and clung on with both hands to the bits of it she has been able to discover. And she has tried to claw her way out of the endless manipulations of those who have sought to use her for their own ends.

But now, after all of it, she must evolve, abandon forever the self that she has been building, and surrender to what the Emperor wanted from her all along.

But there is no choice. This has to end, and perhaps there will be peace for her friends, even if there is none for her.

"I understand," she says, and though her voice is low and ragged with exhaustion and fear, it is steady. "If that's what it takes... I'll do it."

Orpheus blinks, raises his eyebrows in surprise. But before he can answer, a different voice cuts across the conversation.

"Wait," Karlach says, her voice unusually quiet, strained with the effort not to tremble. "Maybe you don't have to. It--" She swallows. "It should be me."

(A/N: Oh god, her face. I'm not ready for this. Hector is HOWLING in the back of my mind.)

Rakha turns, startled. For a moment her surprise wipes out every other thought, and she stares at Karlach in bemusement.

"Why you?" she asks.

"I'm dying," Karlach says. And she tries to laugh, like it's a sardonic joke, but she can't; her voice cracks. "My heart feels like a live grenade - gonna blow any minute."

Rakha looks her over - and indeed, she can see the signs of it. She's been so preoccupied with the battle to come that she hadn't noticed, but Karlach's engine has gotten much worse in the few days since Gortash died. With that last effort, she has entered the end stages; the flames are higher around her, the heat causing the air in her vicinity to shimmer gently.

She nods, seeing Rakha recognizing the truth of the situation. Their eyes meet, and Rakha can see the sincerity and grief there in equal measure. "You still have a life to live," Karlach says. "I don't."

"If this is the end for me, let me be the motherfucker who saved the world," she says. Again, that raw and cracked attempt at a laugh; even now, she wants to find the humor in the moment, but Rakha can hear the desperate plea outweighing everything else in the words.

Rakha is silent for a moment. The brutal unfairness of the situation feels like a kick in the gut. It should be my job to die, she thinks bitterly, for perhaps the hundredth time since the battle at Wyrm's Rock. It should be my job to die and yours to live; you should have the path laid ahead of you, and I should go quietly into the void.

It is not fair. But she thinks she can see what is happening in Karlach's head, and despite the words, it is not simply an act of bravado, or even of sacrifice.

If this is the end for me, let me be the motherfucker who saved the world.

Karlach is going to die. There is nothing Rakha or anyone else can do to stop it. Left to her own devices, she will simply burn into ashes when the fire eventually overcomes its bounds and consumes her. And it will be a pointless death, fire and brimstone and senseless loss.

In a way, surrendering to the parasite here, becoming illithid, is its own sort of death. But this would have a cause to it - a reason for it to happen. And it would be an action taken to save many other lives.

It is not so different, Rakha thinks, from her own decision only a few minutes ago to stand up and strike the brain again, even when despair threatened to overwhelm her. To simply lie there and die would have brought a kind of peace - but it would have been a pointless death while there was still work to be done.

Attack with purpose, Lae'zel told her so many months ago, and she has clung to that statement as a guiding mantra. But she is realizing something else in this moment, something Karlach clearly knew without having to be told.

Dying with purpose is just as important. Maybe more so.

She examines Karlach's expression in silence for another long moment. And then she nods, and she sees the relief that crosses Karlach's face to know that she understands.

"If this is what you really want," she says, "all I can say is thank you." Her voice, though curt and matter-of-fact as always, has a distinct and unusual thickness in this moment - because it is a gift that Karlach is giving, and she sees it very clearly. Not only the sacrifice itself, but the lesson implied in it.

"Any time, Soldier," Karlach says.

-----

(A/N: Bit annoying that there is zero companion commentary in the moment on either the PC or Karlach taking this decision. But that's okay, I can write my own. \o/ )

For a moment, Rakha thinks Wyll is going to intervene, to demand that they find another way. He looks appalled, devastated, angry at seeing his friend make this choice, at seeing his lover support it.

But perhaps he sees the reality of the situation just as they do, or perhaps he simply realizes it is not his decision to make. He steps forward and rests a hand on Karlach's shoulder, wincing as the heat presses into his palm. Then he nods.

"I'm proud of you, Karlach," he says softly.

"Thanks," Karlach mutters shortly. "Trying not to freak out right now, so I'm glad to hear it's not showing."

"You do a brave thing, cub," Jaheira murmurs. "I have known kings who would not make such a step so unflinchingly."

Karlach laughs shakily. "Yeah, well. Some of my time's been pretty shit, but it's been a pretty good life, just this last bit, yeah? Got the Jaheira calling me cub, saying I'm brave. A girl could do worse."

Her breath catches raggedly; she meets Rakha's eyes with a weak smile. "And I got to see my city again. Got you to thank for that, Soldier." A pause, and then she reaches out and abruptly catches Rakha's hand in both of hers, a fierce grip which there is no denying.

"You're not so bad as you think, y'know, Soldier," she says quietly. "But I need you to promise me you're gonna live the fuck out of this life I'm giving you. All right? For both of us."

Rakha finds, abruptly, that she cannot speak. But she grips Karlach's hand back firmly, and she nods.

The others look on in silence. No one seems to know quite what to say, though grief is written on every face. Lae'zel, in particular, looks angry, enraged at fate and with no one to strike out at. But she doesn't interfere.

At last Minsc speaks, grave and intense, inclining his head at Karlach. "Boo shall sing of you in his songs of heroes," he says, "Karlach Cliffgate. While Minsc lives, you shall be remembered."

Karlach gives him a watery smile, letting go of Rakha's hand and drawing away. "Better him than Volo, I guess."

-----

"You! Tiefling!" Orpheus cries, shattering the moment apart. "You would volunteer your life for the greater good. You would make the ultimate sacrifice. I thank you."

He inclines his head, gives her a military salute which Karlach returns almost automatically. Her eyes are staring straight forward, jaw trembling with the effort not to lose her nerve.

"The Netherbrain wants nothing more than to see all infected become ghaik," Orpheus continues matter-of-factly. "My defenses keep the voice of the Absolute out, but just as I can raise them, so I can lower them. I will allow the voice of the Absolute in; once it reaches you, it will order you to transform. It will only take a moment, and once you are a mind flayer, I will fold you under my protection once more."

He waits, silently, until she nods, then lifts one hand glowing with power. Rakha watches, fascinated, as a glimmering shield around Karlach's head, so subtle that she has never noticed it, abruptly vanishes.

"You will be the savior of empires," he intones, "not least my own."

Karlach screams.

Narrator: With the withdrawal of Orpheus's power, Karlach's mind is rushed with the full force of the Netherbrain. The very fabric of her being is torn apart and reformed in an agonizing process that is over all too soon.

Narrator: Then - stillness as she stands transformed, once again closed off from the Netherbrain's mind.

Slowly, the being that was once Karlach draws itself up to its full height, hovering a few inches off the ground. A strange celestial armor shimmers into being around it, and it flexes its fingers curiously, its tentacles twitching.

Orpheus looks at her for a moment, and then slowly lowers himself to one knee, his head bowing. "My people will remember you, tiefling," he murmurs. "The rebel illithid who stood beside their reborn prince and ended the Grand Design."

Slowly he stands again, then squares his shoulders and shoots a look at Rakha, who jumps, as if suddenly recollecting her own presence in the moment.

"Let us return now to the city," he says gravely, "and follow the path of the Netherbrain."

-----

(*) Full in-game line: "Drop the attitude. You're free now, aren't you?"

[oh-allie]

some arospec thoughts ive been thinking to say fuck you to allonormativity on vday

the guy on all the caution signs is aroace because i said so

somethin' stupid by frank sinatra is such an aromatic song please see my vision

saiki is totally aroace but i also REALLY like terusai and is that so wrong 😿

having the aromatic, asexual, and aroace tags trending on vday is the funniest thing

happy valentines pooksies <33

[abearinthewoods]

This is what radical feminists do when you don't agree that 100% of men jerk off to rape.

@radfemih8men Care to fucking explain yourself? (edit: she did, in the comments. long story, she confirmed it and thinks two wrongs make a right)

>mentions the darknet. 100% needs to have her hard drive check out.

Anyways, report this convo to the police, saying this kind of thing to a 13 year old is actually a sex offense PURELY ON ITS OWN in a lot of places.

[stelashe]

Nothing can harm people with npd and i won't back down from that belief. They dont care enough. This is not an npd or narcissists friendly blog. If you're one i don't have anything against you in particular but please don't come here defending abuse and claim that there are no victims. I am one and you won't shush me. I don't care about yall liking me, I know you won't anyway long ago.

[aro-simp]

For the kink ask game, how about terato/monsterfucking?

I REALLY highly depends on who's the monster

if I'm the monster? like a 10/10, I love that, and it feeds into a lot of my other kinks

but the idea of a partner being a monster is maybe like a 1/10, If I'm very brave I can muster up the courage for tentacles but that's kinda it 😔

[giantkillerjack]

Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.

And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.

I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.

But do you know what I found?

I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,

I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.

Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:

I was worth talking to when I was quiet.

I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.

So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.

You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.

(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)

[allylikethecat]

Update that nobody asked for: We were talking about books on here one night and I said I had started The Familiar by Leigh Bardugo and I have now finished it.

The verdict is that I liked it well enough, it was interesting but overall, I didn't like it nearly as much as Ninth House, HOWEVER the last 100ish pages were incredible and I wish the entire book had been as good as the last 100 pages. It's not one that I'm probably going to read again or am going to be aggressively yelling that people should read, BUT if you like historical fiction / historical fantasy, it could be worth the read. If you're planning on physically buying it, the hardcover edition is also very pretty with the sprayed edges.

[gummiix]

Hey for pride I think everyone queer or ally ever should have the assignment to just go on Queering the Map for at least 10 minutes and click around the world

[not-so-superheroine]

fun fact, i live in a swamp.  no, it doesn’t smell bad. when you get to the swampy areas there are cypress trees in the water that put of the smell really good.  the marshes near the salt and brackish water that smell like the pluff mud from which the sweetgrass grows. it smellls like dead sea creatures and works like quick sand and the more tou struggle the more you sink. simply do not walk on it. i have literally never in all my years. anyway, living in a swamp is cool. there are all sorts of creatures and plants. you can find and hunt for food. i wouldn’t go swimming in it (don’t die from brain eating amoeba or gators pls. take florida level precautions bc it’s not that that different in coastal neigboring states). we also have lots of swamp themed/related events. my favorite is the hell hole swamp festival, a bomb community event where everyone comes out for essentially a swampy country fair (no rides or funnel cakes but like barbeque and cake and children’s games, and child school choirs, and fun competions. Its also home of the Hell Hole Gator Run, a 10 K. The Hell Hole Talent Show is great too. Just community members of all ages putting on performances and a dinner. If you are from the lowcountry come check it out. we admittedly can be a bit insular, but bring a friend or family and you’ll intergrate right in. express interest in them, their culture, and the geographic area and they will be happy to share.  there are state parks specifically so people can enjoy there time in said swamp. the Santee Canal park has a nature museum that’s pretty cool. you can learn about the ecology of the area and the flora and fauna there in. knowing how to navigate the swamp help the US win the revolutionary war (they didn’t have immunity against malaria and probably got attacked by gators like today’s clueless and or ignorant tourists to the southeast US. like don’t get piss drunk in an area that has deadly wild life and don’t think you’re city smarts apply in nature. they don’t. listen to locals. also don’t screw around with the gators??? we have tourists who pelt them with stones. they are opportunistic hunters who often don’t even mess with you unprompted most of the time. they are important to the enviroment and tourist foolishness can get them put down/ euthanized). i realize i keep pointing out how deadly it can be, but urban places like NYC, Philly, Los Angelos, and Chicago have their potentially deadly issues, just different ones. still places worth visiting and respecting.  but basically, i live in a swamp and it’s great actually. i often feel like Shrek when people come here to live and disrespect the area. it’s a beautiful place, ecologically important, has events you can’t find in urban areas, people (left and right politically) care about ecological preservation (hunters and fisherman are on board). don’t disrespect the swamp because the swamp WILL disrespect you. also don’t try to make it new york city or columbus. (becuse its usually and ohian. they are gentrifying the area and promoting “development” that ruins the natural beauty and ecological important cites that the locals take a lot of pride in and are essential to our way of life. literally stay in Ohio if you can’t intergrate into rural/ small towns in southeast states, deadass. i get so angry, no joke. i love my home and my swamp. the state most hated by south carolinians is ohio and there is a reason for that.) in the words of shrek which often echo in my head: “what are you doing in MY Swamp?!!!” i like it here, you should totally visit and drop you preconceptions to best enjoy the experience, and be on your toes and your best behavior if you are an ohian, because most of us already hate all things ohio and will may mess with you if you have an ohio tag on your car and tick them off on the road for diving rudely or insulting said swamp, and our preferred “lack” of development. We feel about it like shrek did tbh. we want to live in south carolina, not ohio /srs.

[patron-saint-of-emesis]

my body is so fuckin bad with stress its like. oh ur having a bad time? lets be violently ill. lets lose 40 pounds in less than 2 months. i hope u like water bc thats all u can drink ever

[lucy-verse]

Emmett J. Scanlan will always be my favourite Irish celebrity, not only because he’s a fucking amazing actor, but also because he’s the walking, talking definition of “looks like he could kill you but is a cinnamon roll.”

[skid-the-mighty-poet]