#i am actually really lucky tho
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lazymcfail · 1 year ago
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having chronic pain during the holidays is so fun bc i can literally all day be like "oh im getting sore" "oh i feel dizzy rn imma sit" etc all day and then as soon as i dont wanna engage in something everyone is like WHAT WHY
bro i been telling you all day that my stamina is decreasing and my pain is increasing its kind of like, my life
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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perilegs · 5 months ago
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i know astrology is fake but i'm not too keen on how a lot of people on this website seem to be clowning on it as a hobby a bit too hard. i swear the woman who thinks it's neat how she and her friends with the same sun sign are all similar isn't trying to say that you are who you are born as and there is nothing you can do to change it. it's a hobby. an interest. what happened to finding meaning and joy in the small things. does it affect you if someone enjoys tarot reading or crystals. does it make you upset someone has interests that they enjoy.
#im not saying astrology/tarot/crystals/etc. get clowned on so much bc theyre hobbies mostly enjoyed by women But....#i saw a post about some astrology study and made the mistake of opening the notes on that bad boy#not fun. and that reminded me of that old post that was basically like ''liking astrology is transphobic''#anyways idk maybe its just that my bestie is very much a ''crystal girl'' but like. stuff like that are such neat hobbies#she makes some cute little jars with pretty rocks and they make her feel better bc if you believe in something you can make it happen#when it comes to small things#like yeah if you pick up a stone that's like ''this can help you be more open with your emotions'' and you are like ''oh hell yea!''#ofc that will be on your mind and the item will be a constant reminder and actually help you with your goals#and its like. ok what really stuck with me was when i was talking with my bff and i was like ''i think all this stuff is interesting but i#feel bad bc i am superstitious and believe in some signs like lucky numbers but i know that logically its just. if i pick a lucky number of#i pay extra attention to it but i want to believe its lucky but i know how human brains work in that aspect''#and she was just like. ''so? those things dont have to exclude each other'' and it clicked#if i have a little tigers eye with me it does not make me feel more grounded magically#but if i decide (or believe) it's grounding then it will b bc it's a reminder for me to calm down#and stuff#like. ah idk how to put my thoughts into words#but i just think its unfair that a few rotten apples have ruined the perception of fun hobbies for a lot#not every astrology enjoyer is trying to sell you mlm essential oils or genuinely believe peoples entire lives are dictated upon the stars#or something#idk i just feel like these things are v misunderstood even tho im not personally like super into them myself#but ppl super mean about that stuff arent invited to look at my medieval themed fortune telling cards#idkk im sleepy and cant articulate my points someone else say this but better#leevi talks#im just saying. i dont think its bioessentialism to decide to believe you personally have a season for growth when the stars are in a#certain position or whatever
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authenticcadence18 · 3 months ago
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Today I fled a store bc a song I have a complicated history with came on.
and it wasn’t like. a famous song. I’ve dealt with pop songs coming on with painful connotations in public—recently in fact.
but today’s was a song written for a movie.
I’ve never heard it on the radio or in a store. it’s not really a popular song.
I used to love that song. And the movie it was written for. in some ways I still do.
but it was distressing to hear it out of the blue. especially bc I’d been reflecting on what the song reminds me of and how I’m in a better place before I went in. it was a cruel twist of irony that it came on.
I was holding clothes when the song started. I wanted to try them on but I felt trapped. I couldn’t fathom trying on clothes while that song played. I just put the clothes on the rack as fast as I could and hightailed it out of there before the first chorus finished.
all this to say: if you have the option to walk away from a distressing situation, even if it seems small and silly to make a big deal out of it, you can walk away. you don’t have to force yourself to be strong. you don’t have to endure. sometimes enduring is leaving and that’s ok.
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scoringeffects · 7 months ago
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#prefacing this w ik in fanfiction they're all just our little barbie dolls we're making kiss and it doesnt matter whatsoever but like Do you#understand how much love and respect and loyalty there is between connor and leon irl#like in connors nhlpa ama he immediately no question said that leon's the nhler who knows him best + that he's spent his entire professiona#career w him. whenever leon's asked what he thinks of connor the first sentance out his mouth is 'you [the media] know. he knows' and then#he carries on talking about how he's the best player in the world + connor never hesitates to return the sentiment#and between the two of them it's not sentiments they sau it like its fact bc it is#and their whole 'cup or bust' thing every analyst and their mother have taken it as a 'they're going to win in edmonton or not at all' in t#e sense that they want to stay in edmonton n stay together <- like not even in an insane person edmonton polycule type of way in the they'r#the best players in the world and have insane chemistry on the ice and are eachother's best friends type of way#like a reason why their pp is so lethal is bc those two on a line + the other team down yeah ofc thats going to be automatic#and leon saying that their best beats anyone else's best no doubt and connor talking about building the team from the ground up like leon w#s there when they got boo'd off the ice in 2014 he was a part of building the team that's thier damn team and in turn the sheer amount of#respect the rest of the team have for them and they have for the rest of the team and the trust that while they're the best players they#don't have to play for all of them n that's part of thier whole like. our fourth line stands up to any other first line rock solid belief#like and ofc thier on ice hugs and lockerroom hugs and that moment in the sportsnet knee injury doc and how they mention that they're best#friends whenever theyre asked and how their gf's are also best friends and also their damn dogs#NOT TO MENTION. he's my ride or die. im really lucky our paths crossed here in edmonton. as a friend it was really tough to watch that#<- leon's insane 2022 playoff run on a broken ankle#and the way leon's been dubbed the german gretzky and connor's been the next next one since he was 15 and the way they have such a solid#control of the lockerroom together and i dont know if they've ever said conflicting things to the media and how they've said that they push#eachother to be better (connor saying that leon told him to score more)#and their little taps throughout their season and bringing back their team from the dead and leon being the one to make connor laugh in#pressers and on the bench#ALL TO SAY. like i am a mc.matt.drai enjoyer in the threesome/winners room/asg/2997 are actually quite abnormal about eachother and matthew#has never been normal about anything in his life and this might be fun. kinda way#but 2997 are soulbonded in ways quite possibly none of us will ever be able to truly understand#<- also i do mean this genuinely like they're not normal people but both of them are not normal#SORRY FOR RAMBLING. i just wish there was better written fanfiction.#<- wish to be the change you see in the world innit tho#so funny to me how the eh is just canadian innit.
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raredrop · 2 years ago
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as someone who went from fearing chargers, to sometimes using chargers, to maining them (and by them i mean mostly just the e-liter scope i used more in 2 than i do now)
watching people who do not play chargers play the e-liter for the first time or any sort of reason i just go YUP THATS IT START CRYING UNTIL U HIT A SICK SNIPE AND THEN BASK IN UR SECONDS OF FAME THAT NO ONE ELSE CARES ABOUT
#like i was a shooter main through 1 and 2 with some dabbling in various weapons in 2 usually chargers#during the rock paper scissors splatfest i said this was gonna be the start of me actually maining the eliter#id say in 2 my main was like...the jr.....#im also not into competitive play...i like watching videos going into things but im casual and ranked is something i only...sometimes play#but not enough to rank#chargers are like either confidant in their playing or like me stressed#and tho i cant say im like a pro charger despite the time i put into the eliter....i mean its still me after all#it is very...different from the other classes bc most of the time ur not gonna be good at holding a fight up close unless u get VERY lucky#but thats just me and i am maining the slowest charger with a scope#also watching someone talk about the comp nature of splat and how chargers will probably pick up the ballpoint like#i DO not like splatlings...way too awkward for me to play#i get one in salmon run its over its over hang up ur slops bc its over#the cool thing about the eliter is that sometimes you'll match with people who just want to leave you alone#the not cool thing is that people will also very much want to chase you down bc u got caught#mid repositioning#again im not a splat pro i just play casually so ur not gonna get actual good tips from me#also sorry if anyone acutally reads my tag rants bc they can get really long and idk why i dont kjust put all of this in the post itself any#anyway....
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arolesbianism · 3 months ago
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Thinking abt my nuggets again. Explodes them.
#rat rambles#oc posting#in particular Im thinking abt my girl ding shes my best friend#I actually have been thinking abt giving her a funky design if I do eventually draw her but I am facing one key issue#she has like. no ego gifts.#which is sad! I wanna play around with ego gifts more! most of my main guys have boring gifts!#I could just pick her out some but that feels like cheating I wanna work with what I get y'know?#but I dont have her working on anything so she'll probably never get any naturally#so alternatively I could do some like. number generator scenanigans to chose like 3 random gifts to give her#that way I dont get to chose and am forced to work with what I get#which Ill probably do but Ill have to blacklist a few gifts (mainly the eye covering ones since thats an important part of her design)#I might also do this with some of my other gift lacking guys that might help rhem gain some favor with me#Im quite attached to most of my older nuggets but theres only like 3 or 4 of my newer ones Ive been able to click with#and by newer I mean from like the middle of my second runthrough (Im currently on first day reset number 4)#so thats not a good sign for any of them#well tbf a decent chunk of the newest ones are from the last run through so those guys genuinely are quite new#anyways maybe giving them somw gifts will give me more inspiration to actually think of stuff for them#the siblings are the only ones that I have any attachment to right now of the last two batches and ema is lucky to be one I like#and my girl ding earned her position in this corporation so Im obligated to adore her#for context she was one of various nuggets I made to sacrifice to grind out tool abnormality info#but she somehow managed to survive one that I fully expected her to die to so she gets to stay#one of the other ones also got to stay but thats just because I had enough info for we can change anything already#and by stay I mean sit in storage for the rest of time because I think it's funny#he was my guy for whatever the hell the weapon upgrading one is called#for the non leathal ones I just had most of them finish the research and then go to we can cange everything#but he lucked out and got to live#the others didnt tho so rip to them#at least my tool grind is officially complete and I dont have to worry abt it anymore#I also am in general really close to being done with my abno info hunt#I even defeated apocalypse bird a lil while ago so I basically only have white knight to worry abt now
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bardtwink · 4 months ago
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Haiii guys!!! Guess who's back ^~^
Trying to get my queue up and running again, sorry if its slow going at first. Being away from tumblr was very good for my mental health but I missed you all!!!!
Who's hyped for Natlan!?!? I'm so obsessed already hdksdjskjd
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astrxealis · 7 months ago
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i am Again in that mood where i rlly want to make more friends/mutuals into ffxiv but 1. don't know how + 2. it's Tough bcs (for understandable reasons) i am still a minor (17) and most players are very much older than me ............... i hope the future will be slay tho 🥺😁💖💞
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i am very lucky tho !! to have my twin i do everything w/ <3#and a best friend i met on twt one of the last times i wanted to meet more fandom people >< <33 who is Actually my age too#and then a mutual here who is active on another acct i think nowadays (i hope they r well) but they are just a few years older#and the way they interacted w ffxiv was a bit similar to me / what i wanted to find more in others. same w the best friend.#and then actually making a friend In ffxiv but this was like. 2021. and i'm not going into all of those details bcs i Will yap too much#but i'm really thankful for my fc (and static in that fc) then :( being reaaally young and raised to obvs take care on the internet#LMFAO they managed to find out we were teens anyway and it was. really healthy ngl! a certain distance was remained#but they didn't like. made us feel like outsiders (??) but respectful to the age diff :3 and also we got along w/#the uni students in there and the guys (gn) our age (who were. still all a couple years older LMFAO) but did actually make a friend#we still talk to when we can a lot !! ^_^ (ignoring uh recently being busy bcs of gr 12. but yeah <3)#anyway. i yap so much holy fuck But.#i haven't talked much in any case to anyone abt ffxiv lately. and to my ffxiv friends too.#i'm like 95% sure i'm still on good terms w them all but. it feels lonely (?) i haven't yet gotten back to rlly talking w ffxiv ppl again#and i never really have been able to Ever anyway. i'm currently still getting back into the ffxiv mindset too bcs school got me busy.#so... idk where i'm getting w this now tbh LMFAO. i hope i can get more friends into ffxiv! and make more friends into ffxiv. and talk#again more w/ my friends already in ffxiv. and get my friends who are starting to get into ffxiv More into ffxiv. <3#honestly it's like this ^^ a lot w/ a lot of interests of mine but it's cool bcs i have my twin :3 and i do have more friends now into#a variety of interests and w/ similar attitudes etc etc etc and i Am only so young. i'm just abt to go into uni etc... <3#well. i will shut up now LMFAO but yeah. this is a little wish and 'prayer' of mine i suppose. :] !!#to get what i want i'll retain the power of hope and love but also put My work in nyeheheheheheheh
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sovaharbor · 10 months ago
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i think im getting a migraine D:
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poorlittlevampire · 1 year ago
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need 4 more ten pulls in star rail to hit pity i almost done i am almost free
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harrysfolklore · 1 month ago
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harry and yn styles read thirst tweets
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omg she posted a harry fic! honestly i've been missing him sooo much lately, harry please come home. anyway hope you like this
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
"Hey It's YN Styles."
"And I'm Harry Styles."
"And we're here to read your thirst tweets," you introduced, "I feel excited."
"I feel uncomfortable," Harry joked, making you throw your head back in laughter.
"Really? Already?"
"I'm just saying, if i I don't turn beat read by the end of this, we have failed."
THIRST TWEETS WITH HARRY AND YN STYLES
"What about I read the ones that are directed at you and you read the ones directed at me?" Harry asked, phone with the tweets ready in hand.
"Sounds perfect, babe."
"Okay, let's read thirst tweets strangers post about my wife," his eyes widened and he shook his head, "Thinking about YN's boobs again," he read, turning his gaze to you and shrugging "I relate, I guess."
"That's the whole tweet? Thinking about my boobs again?" he nodded, "I mean, I hope that doesn't distract you from your daily chores," you said to the camera as if you were talking to the person who posted the tweet.
"Yeah, that happens to me often."
"Thanks honey, I guess," you turned to look at the phone to read Harry's tweet, "Harry Styles can I kiss your cheek please it looks so soft and smoochable," you looked up with a frown in your brow, "So all of my tweets are going to be horny and his are going to be adorable."
Harry and the crew laughed as you shook your head, "I mean, love, my cheek is actually soft and smoochable," Harry said as he shrugged.
"Not right now tho, you need to shave," you said, running your finger through his cheek.
"My own wife doesn't like my facial hair, that's such a shame," he looked at his phone again, "YN, sexy and married to Harry Styles, she's literally winning and all I can do is watch and wish that was me. Whoa, thoughts baby?"
"I mean, I am really lucky," Harry smiled fondly, "Do your daily affirmations, friends, that's how I got this one," the crew laughed at this, "I would pay Harry Styles to punch me in the face," you read the next tweets and his eyes widened.
"Why do people say that? I would never punch anyone in the face, why would I do that?"
"It's an expression babe, it means that they think you're hot," you explained.
"Well, there are non violent ways to say that," he said, "Listen I am bisexual for a reason and that reason is strictly to be used in a threesome by YN and Harry Styles," he read and you instantly covered your face in embarrassment, "I mean, whoa, the things you kids post on the internet."
"I don't know what to say, honestly," you shook your head, looking down at your phone to cover your embarrassment, "Thinking about Harry Styles naked butt again," you read the tweet and Harry laughed, "How does that make you feel? That people can think about your naked butt thanks to My Policeman."
"I have a nice but, I'd like to think," he shrugged, "YN is a living, breathing wet dream," he read on his phone, "I mean, I concur, I have a song about it, It's called Watermelon Sugar."
"Oh thanks honey, glad to know romance isn't dead, and speaking about Watermelon Sugar," you glanced at your phone, "This one says, I want Harry Styles belly deep inside me or whatever he says in that watermelon song."
"Jesus Christ," Harry immediately said, "Not quite what that song says, but close I guess," he looked at another tweet, "I would let YN choke me with her thighs."
"That's nice considering most people want you to choke them with your thighs."
"How do you even know that?" Harry asked as he furrowed his brow.
"I lurk on twitter sometimes," you shrugged, "Are Harry and YN looking for a third right now? Cause I get horny by just looking at them."
"Our marriage is fine like this, but if we ever need a third we'll let you know," Harry spoke to the camera, "Okay last one, are yo ready?"
"Definitely not."
"I need YN to rail me more than I need air to breathe."
"Wow," you clasped your hands together, "I don't know if I should be flattered or worried."
"Flattered, love, we all want you to rail us."
"Harry! Control it!" you laughed and he shrugged, "Are we done?"
"We are," Harry turned to the camera, "Thank you buzzfeed and you thirsty fuckers, that was fun but we're never doing it again."
"Definitely, bye!"
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kurv4 · 1 year ago
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#vent in the tags#WARNING: VENT IN THE TAGS!!#tbh its really hard to find disability community irl#at least in my country the amount of other disabled people i met is minimal and finding other disabled peopld my age?? impossible#ive been trying really hard to actually start accepting and defend my disability and try not to hide so much#but it feels really lonely not knowing anyone who is in a similsr situation as me#even tho im part of the lgbt community in my country and in my uni it doesnt erase me being disabeled and that 98% cant really understand#like yea i have few friends at uni who are neurodivergent but i still feel lonely in this regard#with that im not trying to say that they are any less disabled or have it easier or anything like thst#but its still pretty lonely being one of the few physically disabled people in my uni#and being almost all the time the only disabled person my friends even know#im kinda scared of also applying for jobs cause i dont even know if any minimum wage jobs would accept me#i wish i knew someone who is also phys disabled so i can ask them these things and get advice cause rn im so scared#how am i supposed to be even an adult person in society if i cant even get a minimum wage job? where am i supposed to live? what can i eat?#im really lucky my parents are supporting me rn at uni but what do i do after uni#also weird thibg is. why the fuck does it feel like i have to come out 3 separate times??#like why me having to tell someone im disabled feels like im coming out?? girl just look at me for 5 minutes#like. my previous clasmate of 3 years didnt know. WHAT DO U MEAN??#like we were friends. we saw each other 5 times a week for hours. u flirted with me when we were 16. are u dumb??#this is not even the tip of the ice berg. about like 70% of my friends dont know or didnt know until i told them.#like its pretty noticable and visible😭😭 it sounds almost fake that they would be that oblivious but sadly its true lol#anyways lol
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astonmartinii · 1 month ago
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day three: mistletoe and whine | george russell social media au
pairing: george russell x albon fem reader
it's a christmas classic - a bah humbug girl and a christmas obsessed king
christmas song: mistletoe and wine - cliff richard
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
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yourusername
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liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 209,504 others
tagged: georgerussell63
yourusername: it's hard being a bah humbug girl dating all three wise men in a trench coat
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user1: the way he's literally wearing a trench coat as well
yourusername: i wasn't lying in the caption - how do you think he's so tall?
user2: now you mention it 🤔
georgerussell63: can you stop telling this joke? my niece just asked me where my two friends are under my coat? in public! people thought i was a predator :(
yourusername: lol
georgerussell63: i knew i was dumb when i thought albons would stop being mean to me when we started dating
user3: i love how opposites attract work - holiday edition
user4: y/n is like an old blue collar man who grunts at christmas lights and george is essex girl winter wonderland final boss
user5: i actually NEED to see george at winter wonderland @yourusername please take one for the team
yourusername: i will never go somewhere that will charge me over £7 for a hot chocolate
user6: your bf is a millionaire?
yourusername: it's the PRINCIPLE
georgerussell63: i don't know how you don't lOVE christmas :(
yourusername: i like it but just not as much as other people !
georgerussell63: you slammed the door in the face of carollers and pulled the curtains after flipping them off?
yourusername: i mean carollers are the worst
yourusername: AND IT WAS NOVEMBER 29TH???
georgerussell63: they were trying to spread cheer ??
yourusername: well they can spread it elsewhere - not while i'm watching i'm a celeb
georgerussell63: heartless
user7: tbf carolling before december even starts is harrowing
yourusername: THANK YOU
alexalbon: george, y/n will never change, you're lucky you even got her to wear that ugly ass christmas jumper last year
yourusername: literally, i am so generous
georgerussell63: you two are as bad as each other
alexalbon: 👯‍♀️
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alexalbon
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tagged: yourusername & georgerussell63
alexalbon: is it really december if you don't receive five mayday texts from y/n after george reveals his christmas chart
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user9: he has a christmas chart ???
user10: why are yall shocked it's GEORGE RUSSELL
user11: i'd honestly be worried if george wasn't making a christmas chart
yourusername: it's a struggle bus
alexalbon: yeah i couldn't tell from the 13 999 messages i got from you
yourusername: he has me on peeling duty ....
alexalbon: YOU WITH KNIVES ???
yourusername: exactly !!!!
yourusername: it's a punishment for not wanting to watch nativity
user12: well he kinda has a point there tho
yourusername: but i wanted to save it - it's like one of the only christmas films i like i didn't want to waste it on december 2nd
alexalbon: okay george i think you're being a little tyrannical with the christmas chart
georgerussell63: we're a two man team !!! someone is always going to get something they don't like
yourusername: YOU KNEW I WANTED WRITING THE CHRISTMAS CARDS THIS WAS PURE PETTINESS
maxverstappen1: not to say i told yall so...
alexalbon: erm max this is albon business
georgerussell63: and russell business ?
alexalbon: no it's albon business - you're an albon
yourusername: babe if anyone is dropping their name it's YOU
alexalbon: albons 4 ever
user13: can george drop the christmas chart template please
georgerussell63: at least some people appreciate my chart
yourusername: i appreciate it a lot when it's not being wielded like a weapon babe
georgerussell63: fine... i'll take you off peeling duty
yourusername: thank you xxx 😘
georgerussell63: you're lucky i love you
yourusername: eh i guess so (i love you too)
georgerussell63
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tagged: yourusername
georgerussell63: she loves it really
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user14: i think she loves something else ...
user15: somehow i think we might be getting a sneak peek into the reward y/n gets after doing anything remotely christmassy
user16: i mean i too would also decorate a christmas tree to get george like that
yourusername: but you'll never get the chance :P
alexalbon: GEORGE WE SPOKE ABOUT THIS NO WEIRD PHOTOS WITH MY SISTER TO BE POSTED WHERE I CAN SEE THEM
georgerussell63: but i gotta show the people how i'm winning
alexalbon: well you'll never win on track again if i have anything to do with it
georgerussell63: with all due respect alex, what are you doing from back there
yourusername: george... remember who my loyalties will lie with
alexalbon: i'm sure i have buddies at the front who won't mind doing some community service
georgerussell63: you wouldn't ...
maxverstappen1: I WOULD
user17: max verstappen beef does not stop for christmas
user18: he just pops up in george's business now
user19: qatar gonna haunt george forever
yourusername: i don't love it, i love you
georgerussell63: i love you too
yourusername: you love me so much you post soft core porn of us to get your ass beat by my brother?
georgerussell63: yes i love you that much
yourusername: then i love you so much i'll only let alex get one lick in
georgerussell63: huh? defend me?
yourusername: rules are rules babe and if i have to follow the christmas chart... well alex is allowed to set any punishment he sees fit
georgerussell63: i guess so
user20: this couple cracks me up
user21: how did we go from declaring their love for each other to letting people beating them up
user22: i wouldn't expect anything less from y/n albon
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yourusername
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tagged: georgerussell63
yourusername: mistletoe is the only good thing about christmas
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user24: i mean... if my bf was george russell mistletoe would be a permanent fixture in my house
user25: i'd climb that man like a beanstalk
user26: so real like give me one chance
yourusername: i will not hesitate to block you all and then block yall on george's account as well
user27: people might say this is cringey but like i'd crash out if i saw how f1twt spoke about my boyfriend
alexalbon: all you do is mistletoe and WHINE
yourusername: you think you're a real comedian don't you
alexalbon: yes i like to think i'm a funny guy
georgerussell63: OMG LIKE THE CLIFF RICHARD SONG
alexalbon: ... yes
yourusername: oh baby ...
georgerussell63: just because you guys have that weird sibling connection that means you get every joke
user28: am i the only one who also got it immediately
user29: no babe it's pretty obvious
georgerussell63: right. i can deal with the bullying from alex and y/n because they're my bestfriends
yourusername: you also like when i bully you
georgerussell63: yes too much
alexalbon: ????
georgerussell63: ANYWAY, that does not mean every random guy and his dog can get in on the joke :(
user30: i have learnt... a little too much about george russell today
alexalbon: you and me both
maxverstappen1: i'm going to stop going at this guy in the media if he's getting off on it FREAK
georgerussell63: no it's just y/n you're safe
yourusername: you're not pretty enough sorry not sorry mr verstappen
maxverstappen1: excuse me?
charles_leclerc: don't listen to them max
alexalbon: how did we get to this point?
user31: tbf i would also whine about mistletoe if my bf was that freakishly tall
yourusername: exactlyyyy
georgerussell63
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georgerussell63: merry christmas from our family to yours
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user32: wait the way 2/3rds of the 2019 rookies are literally family now
landonorris: my invite was clearly lost in the mail
alexalbon: the way you told us you 'didn't want to be around you lovesick fools i have a family that will let me actually be the centre of attention'
landonorris: eh that doesn't really sound like me...
yourusername: you also put it in writing in the group chat
landonorris: YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THAT GROUP CHAT
georgerussell63: oh i show y/n everything !
landonorris: WHAT?
yourusername: and he means everything ... stop putting mistletoe in your pants i did not need to see that rash
landonorris: Y/N NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
user33: once again these fools need to stop oversharing on the internet
yourusername: lando needs to stop oversharing on my wifi bill
landonorris: george !!! y/n just called you broke
yourusername: best christmas ever, i love you all xxx
georgerussell63: no one i'd rather spend my christmas with
yourusername: and i'll hold my hands up, the christmas chart was worth it :(
georgerussell63: any house with george russell in it will have an efficient and effective christmas
yourusername: it was very efficient but almost too much because why were you yelling at alex to 'hurry up with unwrapping his gift'
georgerussell63: ummmm because i wanted you to open the ones from me :(
yourusername: you're so fucking cute
user34: the end of the 2024 christmas chart saga ... you will forever be remembered
user35: and when george turns up in brackley in february with a season chart...
kimiantonelli: i'll kill myself
georgerussell63: EXCUSE ME? ON MY CHRISTMAS?
alexalbon: what a lovely couple of days... i need to detox from being in such close proximity to you two
yourusername: we're literally not that bad
alexalbon: HE SHOUTED AT ME TO HURRY UP SO YOU COULD UNWRAP THE CHRISTMAS THEMED LINGERIE HE GOT YOU
yourusername: well he knows how to make me like the holiday 🤷‍♀️
georgerussell63: just because i thought of it first ...
yourusername: you snooze you lose, i love you baby
georgerussell63: always the best for you my love
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fin.
note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME and happy day three of astonmartini-mas to you all. this is a PSA that i shall be going on holiday so this is likely not to be updated until next week! enjoy the previous days and my masterlist as you wait! much love xxx (also my tip jar is at the top of the post if you wanna send me a birthday coffee xx)
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turnfires-secret · 4 months ago
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Kinich x top male reader? Imagine that Kinich limps a little after their night with reader, and while reader is trying to make amends, Ajaw makes fun of them in every possible way. That would be fun lmao😭
Anon ilysm i've been craving a reason to write ajaw for days now and I finally get my excuse!
This isn't really smut tho... sorry if I've disappointed anyone!
Payment Due | Kinich X Male Reader
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It’s beyond hot inside your shared bedroom. How long had the two of you been at it? Neither you nor Kinich could recall. Kinich has buried his face into the crook of his arm again, trying to keep himself quiet. It doesn’t bring the Turnfire hunter any sort of mercy from the ruthless unending pleasure plaguing his mind, seeing as you just start fucking him harder fueled by the desire to listen to the whorish sounds that slipped from his mouth.
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When Kinich wakens the next morning he’s met with a terrible sticky sensation and… as per usual, the most aggravating sound Kinich had heard in his whole life.
“Ew! You humans really are disgusting! I’d have never expect my own servant to engage in such… foul, vile, unholy, unsanitary acts of sacrilege in the close presence of the mighty dragon lord, Ku’hul Ajaw! “
Attempting to ignore Ajaw’s incessant yapping, Kinich takes a deep breath and gets up out of bed… Only to realize the pain and agony that came with such a task. Actually, phrasing it that way is abit too… dramatic. What he was actually facing was the aches and pains of post sex. Kinich is limping, and (to make the situation worse) Ajaw notices. 
“Oh? Did that puny human you drool over fuck you that hard to the point you can’t walk straight?! Wait- Meheheheh! maybe today’s my lucky day! You should go outside and try fight a pack of those idiotic tribal warriors and die!”
“I’m not that stupid, now leave me alone”
Kinich replied, taking yet another deep breath before going to the bathroom and taking a shower. The dendro user finishes his shower, feeling much more refreshed and awake despite the fact he’s still limping. Changing into some fresh clothes he feels your arms around his waist and your head nuzzle into his shoulder. 
“Well good morning to you too”
“Mhhh~ Kinichhh why are you up so early….?”
To Kinich, the sound of your voice was always the best part of his day.
“It’s far from early my love, Infact, it’s 11 am”
“Still too early…”
“EW, DISGUSTING LOVE BIRDS, YOU MAKE ME SICK!”
Theres a pause in the room before you and Kinich both decide to once more completely ignore the yelling pixelized projection. 
“Moving on, you, should be paying me compensation.”
Even though your voice was the best medicine for the aloof warrior, you were still not exempt from his habit of counting costs. To Kinich, it seems his aching grievance was enough to warrant payment.
“Wh- payment?!”
“Because of your prior actions i now find it hard to walk normally, so personally, i think you should pay the prince, no?”
“Personally i think you should charge them has much as you can, Kinich!” (Ajaw says, bardging into the conversation only to get ignored)
“Wh- Alright then~ For payment how about… we go another round?”
You respond, your voice now holding that seductive tone you seemed to enjoy using with him. 
His neck is sensitive after last night’s activities. You bite down, hard enough for him to feel it. Such an action’s associations mixed with such sensitivity forced a needy whine from Kinich’s throat, aswell as changes the Turnfire warrior’s mind. 
“... fine, i have time to spare… just… be abit more gentle this time, will you?”
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occamstfs · 10 months ago
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Diet Diaries
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Hi all! Thank you so much for 500 followers! Here's a little style switch up to celebrate, got a lotta refs in this one and I quite leaned into the diary entries so I hope it's not too much! Hope y'all enjoy this stereotype reversal and as always, best! -Occam
Monday March 21st-
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Andy:
I am beyond sick of Steve. Moving in together was a mistake, I don’t care how cheap the rent is, he is a narcissistic slob and I am eager to never see him again. Well no, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. Our R.A. had this idea to try and walk in each other's shoes, which I don’t know? It might not be the worst thing? My big idea was switching diets actually- honestly I’m just hoping if he ate more like me he’ll stop stinking up the dorm. I can dream at least. Literally though he just can’t go to the gym as often if he eats like me. If I'm lucky at the very least his deodorant will last longer, I cannot take another day of his b.o. seeping through the walls, ugh! Anyway, wish me luck! I’m sure this will be a breeze for me, he usually just eats junk anyway, hope he enjoys my salads~
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Steve:
Andy that little fucker. He was being such a little bitch to James and now I’ve gotta eat his rabbit food for a week or lose this bet or whatever. Steve don’t lose tho. Lil twink’s gotta eat whatever I make him too and you can bet your ass I’m gonna make him match my macros if I’ve gotta starve myself like he wants. Fuck! This shit is going to absolutely tank my routine! I’ve gotta make Andy give up. I’m gonna go so hard on him he’ll have to hit weights if he doesn't want to blow up like a pig. Maybe then he’ll stop bitching any time I don’t fucking shower every time I get back home. 
Tuesday March 22nd-
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Andy:
My Lord! He is trying to kill me! I don’t know how anyone could consistently eat as much as he’s telling me to. I’m so bloated from all this food.. He looks so smug every time he tells me to keep eating, I’m sure he doesn’t eat like this. He’s just trying to break me but I’m not going to let him win this easy.
Ugh, I feel so bloated my pants are so tight on my waist. I didn’t think meat sweats were a thing but man I am needing to put on deodorant like twice a day now and I’m not even exercising. I will say that now that I’m eating so much, I don’t hate the idea of going to the gym. It’s been a while since I went but I should probably at least hit up the treadmill lest I get even more of a gut- maybe I’ll see if he wants to go tomorrow. This is all just an exercise to understand each other more after all, no need to make it a stupid competition like he wants eh~
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Steve:
Fuck! I am so tired of Andy’s pussy-ass diet. I had absolutely no energy at the gym today, I told all my bros that I was just gonna take it easy but fuck! I really was working my ass off and I struggled to even meet a PR I set last week. It was supposed to be a push day and I didn’t even get a chest pump! Why the fuck am I still going. I’m abso-fucking-lutely not getting gains on his fuckin’ bitch-ass salads and oats.
Eatin’ like a fucking twink and the fucker has the nerve to ask to go to the gym with me tomorrow. I’ll make sure he regrets that >:) Gonna work him like a horse so he’ll throw in the towel! After feeling how sore actually working on yourself makes ya, he might actually learn something. I’ll turn in early so I can go all out and show him what a real man looks like.
Wednesday March 23rd-
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Andrew:
Man! I totally get why Steven eats so much now~ I am absolutely raring to go and get this; He said I could go to the gym with him today! He even seemed like he wanted me to go with him! I feel like I have more energy than I’ve ever had before, I might even try some weights!! I don’t know but I’m so excited! It’s like I can feel my chest and biceps begging me to go and hit some iron haha! Or whatever those “bros” say~ I hope he’s got something good planned for lunch because I fuck Sorry! I just want to show him that I can do all this dude stuff too! I’m a man right? I guess all this protein is making me feel more like a man than usual idk. Either way though I’m ready to go! Hope we have some fun!
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Steven:
That bitch’s fuckin’ fru fru salads are ruining my PR’s for sure! I bet he knew that when he begged me to take him to the gym today, knew it was the only time he could show off to me was when I’m so out of it. And he didn't! Just to be clear I could still wipe the floor with  him even if I’m not at my A-game. Ugh, I do gotta hand it to the little fucker though. I KNOW he hasn’t even really set foot in a gym before but man. Beginners luck my ass, as soon as I showed him a technique he lifted like he’s been doing it his whole life! It’s like I could see his pecs and tris swelling up with each lift. Not that I was staring at the bitch or anything but he’s just I just need this fuckin’ diet thing to end so I can get back to my grind, I guess I wouldn’t hate taking him to the gym more often, would be hot to make a bitch into a bro Fuck! What am I writing, I just need to lift again.
Thursday March 24th-
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Andrew: 
Bro! Weird? Whatever, I am absolutely on fire! Steven’s diet is absolutely killer! I don’t know how it’s working so well but man I couldn’t care less, I felt like a pro in there! My coaches in school would always shit on me for not trying but man! I was barely trying yesterday but I could tell from the look on Steven’s face that I was acing it! I guess I’ll have to admit to him that he is definitely onto something with his macros but man, not until he gives up haha! Man, I need to chill haha, it’s not like I’m any stronger than I was Monday but man, looking at myself in the mirror it just seems like my clothes are just fitting better. Catching on my chest rather than my stomach y’know? I’ve never noticed that there is muscle on my arms before but man the way my sleeves are kinda hugging my biceps mm. I need to chill haha! Can’t use all my energy before hitting the gym again today!
OH! Also totally weird, I’ve had to shave twice this week! Once last night and then again this morning which is so weird! I’m not complaining though, it’s not like I wouldnt look hot with a beard right? Although my face is a little itchy already, my chest too? Whatever though haha! Time to head back to the grind lol!
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Steven:
God!! Andy Andrew is being such an asshole! He’s clogging the sink shaving which I know he would so be on my ass if I had done that. Wait, he did get on my ass for shaving! But it hasn’t been a problem this week, it’s like I’m not even growing stubble for some reason? Probably from not working so hard at the gym, is that how that works? Whatever it’ll be over as soon as this stupid diet thing is. We’re halfway through now. Thank God! Because that fucking twink is starting to stink up the dorm which again!! He was such a little bitch all the time to me about that! It’s like he’s literally stopped using deodorant as soon as he started needing it! He’s never exerted himself in his life and now that his pits are sweating at all he’s suddenly allergic to hygiene, ugh! I saw last night too the fucker fell asleep with his head in his pit too so it’s not like he doesn’t know it. 
It was a little surprising actually, cause I would’ve sworn he was hairless like one of those freak cats but man his pit was as thick as my pubes! Thicker maybe, uh? Man I wish I could get that image out of my head, it’s like the tuft was pushing out further each time he inhaled, man that’s kinda hot? Fuck! I swear this twink-ass diet is making me think like him too. I need to sneak to the gym later, without him. I cannot have him getting ahead even while I’m still on his chickenshit diet.
Friday March 25th-
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Steven:
Ah!! That Little bitch! He was already at the gym when I got there! Ugh! It makes me want to punch a wall, or fight him. Or something I dont know! It’s just, he was lifting my body weight on the bench when he saw me, it was so ho ugh! It doesn’t matter what it was, I can’t stop thinking of that smug look on his face- what I would give to wipe it off… That absolute prick knew what he was doing. Ugh, speaking of pricks! He may as well have not been wearing shorts at all by how much his cock was showing through them.
I knew my meal prepping was fucking tight but man, I can’t believe hot its made him. It just really fucking turns me on, or no its such a turn on for chicks. Yeah. Whatever. I need this bet to end already. Clearly he’s totally obsessed with my lifestyle so he should just admit it already! Also, hate to say it, but to Andrew’s credit his diet ain't too bad either. I’d never tell him this, and it is all a little emasculating but my skin has never looked this good. I’m not even doing skincare or anything but it’s like I’ve been on a routine for years, it’s crazy! It’s still ruining my upper gains but man, my ass looks so good it's crazy..
Oh also re: facial hair, I woke up this morning and could’ve sworn I used to have chest hair but now it looks like I’ve got just a little left around my nipples and leading up from my pubes? I might go ahead and shave those too, might as well be totally smooth like a chick right haha, I wonder what Andrew would think? I need to chill haha, maybe I’ll go see if he’s still at the gym~
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Andrew:
Fuuuuck dude lol. I should’ve started hitting up the gym ages ago. Don’t know what I was even wasting time on before I started doing twice-a-days? Studying I guess but I can figure that shit stuff out hm. Fuck it is so much better to be strong than a dweeb. Every set it feels like I’m just busting out new PR’s! Gonna need to buy new clothes though cause I am absolutely tearing up my crop tops, my twinky little wardrobe just isn’t cutting it anymore. Maybe Steven’d be down for a clothes swap, I’ve seen him eying up my fits all week, god knows he’ll fit them better lol. Oh haha, and speaking of him eying things up >:) You should’ve seen his little face blush when he walked into the gym this morning! He looked so pissed at me lol, but I’m not gonna grab him to come along every time I need to get some sets in right? It was pretty embarrassing for him yesterday anyway, the way I showed him up lol. I’m not just gonna sit around and watch him not lift weights when I can figure this shit out myself, thought it was supposed to be his thing though lol.
Mm, saying that though, I def didn’t hate having a little audience from his treadmill. God, his blushing face as he stared directly at my work-out chub. Fuck, it really got me going. It really helped my sets too haha. Maybe I should hit him up lol, I can tell how bad he wants me >:)
Saturday March 26th-
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Stevie:
Ugh! That douche is walking around the dorm completely shirtless! Do you know what it’s like to have an oaf flexing away across the room from you 24/7! He knows what he’s doing, and thank god my dick isn’t showing through my shorts like I thought it usually does because he might literally pounce on me then-
Ugh! I didn’t even mention this morning. I literally woke up to him jacking off his morning wood! Do you know what a bitch-fit he would have thrown if I did that! He would’ve filed a police report, probably the dweeb, or. I guess I could too?? But it was just so fucking hot. I tried to pretend I was asleep, but he totally caught me. He literally smirked and made eye contact as he finished too- thank god he didn’t see my boner as he asked if I wanted to clean up his mess. He’s such an ass! 
I still have a boner now actually, it’s his B.O. driving me actually crazy! It’s like I can’t think near him if he’s going to stink this bad god.. Oh, he’s doing pullups on the door frame fuck. He’s supposed to be hairless but I see sweat dripping from his pits god I can't. God with each pull up his chest looks even more powerful. His cock is bobbing up and down in his pants and I can not look away. Fuck it’s getting even bigger. I’m supposed to be the strong one right? It’s not, fuck. This isn’t right. He just so fucking, god that body, I need him-
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And Drew:
Heh. I knew that fucking twink couldn’t resist me. Every little thing I do wraps him even tighter around my finger. Every flex and smirk turns him on even more I bet he can’t even think straight the way his little dick is losing it in his briefs- I took all his jocks since I’m sure he would need them anymore. Bet the little bitch didn’t even remember they were his.  
Might as well have been drooling when he saw me jacking my cock this morning lol, surprised he didn’t take me up on the offer to lick up the mess. I know he wanted to lol. He’ll get the chance soon enough though >:) God it’s a two-way street though. That fucking twink is so fuckable now, thank god he doesn’t need to shave anymore, don’t want his peachfuzz scratching my cock cause god that mouth is so fuckable now.. To say nothing of his fucking juicy ass, god! I’ve been working out in the room all morning waiting for him to give in and ask me to fuck him, idk if I can hold it in much longer. I might need to jack it again, my balls are bluer than I ever thought they could be, fuck. It’s like they're sore. Ugh I feel them getting heavier, heh, that little fucker cant resist though. God I feel precum starting to pool in my jock. If I put my pit within a foot of his face I give him five before he can’t help but shove his face in. I need to fuck him, but as if I’m going to let him see how desperate I am. Stevie that little fucker. He’ll be riding my cock any second now.
Sunday March 27th-
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Stevie:
Fuck <3 !! He finally fucked me!! God, it was like nothing I’ve experienced before~ His cock was like a beer can and goddd the scratch of his beard as we were making out.. Hehe if I keep thinking about him I might just cum again right now! He can fully toss my body like a ragdoll and I’d thank him ugh! He’s just so hot, and to think he wants to fuck me!! Ah~ I’ll need to keep myself pretty so he won’t get tired of me hehe! Not that it’ll be a problem, I just need to keep on his diet, God who knew it would be this good! I don’t even remember whatever problems we had before all this and I can’t imagine anything better than getting fucked by him <3 Ah! He he~ He’s staring at my ass right now so I guess it’s time for another round! Can’t thank our R.A. enough for this idea, well he he I’ve got an idea for how to thank him, oh! Drew’s ripped off his jock! Wish me luck he he~
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Drew:
My little bitch is so tight, fuck. I’m surprised he can even take my cock but god can he ride it. Gonna have a hard time taking a break from fucking him to even hit the gym. Need to make sure the twink keeps up the diet tho or we’ll have an issue. Be sure to make him come to the gym whenever I do, if not to tighten up then to watch me heh. Won’t hate fucking him in the locker room too. Mm, God his fucking tiny body makes me feel so powerful. And I fucking am. God my bis are the size of his thick thighs, fuck his ass. My cock is straining my jock just thinking about it. His tiny waist ugh, I need my sweaty body over him now. Not like he’ll mind, the horny fucker. Mmm hope he’s ready to take my cock, bet his mouth is already watering heh. Pop my pecs at him and he’ll struggle not to cum on the spot, he better keep it together until I let him though. Can’t be having my bitch blow his load that fast. Thank fuck he’s chilled out finally, though I guess my cock’ll work wonders on anyone >:) speaking of it’s about that time again. Hope he’s ready for some more action, hate to have to find another hole.
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