#i am a lot better now i think .... which is nice
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flightyalrighty · 11 hours ago
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…I find it lowkey weird when someone says Sonic is bit of bully or mean in your comic.
I know you have him take after Archie and Fleetway, but he feels normal to me?
Or is it because I grew up with Sonic media that had him being abrasive that I got used to it..?
This image of being this -perfectly nice- hedgehog that people get from him kinda makes me wonder constantly, do you know how he was back then?
Would you perceive him the same way if you gotten to known him a bit later excluding the older comics?
SEGA has kept a few things consistent with Sonic and one of them being he was always this dude with an attitude. for better or for worse. That didn't mean he didn't care for anyone, it's just part of who he is. Once you can see past that, you know that despite his meanness, he's a solid guy that means well.
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(I got a few asks in a short span of time so I hope I'm lining up the correct follow-up with the original here)
So! Okay. So, here's the thing about Sonic and his whole "attitude" thing. These days, canonically, it's kinda non-existent? Sonic's personality got sandpapered (in the games) until it was nice and smooth for the past, uhhh, like deca -- No, not even. I think he's actually been like this since 2005.
Like sure, he'll make a few lame jokes at Eggman's expense in the Meta Era but like. He's a ray of sunshine to everyone else (besides that one thing they got rid of in the Sonic Gens "remaster" with Amy). He's not even GENUINELY mean to Knuckles the way he used to be. There is no actual beef there, it's really just friendly banter he's having with his friends.
Even more about this below cut vvv
The main sources of Sonic Attitude™ I ever experienced growing up was that little itty bit left within Sonic Heroes and MOSTLY just Archie Sonic (and some STC Online reading I did as a kid) and Sonic X. Make no mistake, Sonic definitely had a range of "Attitude" to "Asshole" in those works. It just wasn't present in the games. So if you were a kid growing up and only knew Sonic FROM the games, that so-called attitude was gonna be minimal if you're age 30 or under.
And any attitude he gave would be only to people he perceived to be enemies (or Jet the Hawk).
Jump forward in time to the end of the Meta era, and we've come to a point in which Sonic is very nice. He's everyone's cool big brother. He's a "friend to all children." The perfect role model. He's very nice in Sonic Prime. In IDW, some fans would even argue he's TOO nice. TOO forgiving. To this I say, it is what it is. I just don't believe Sonic's mean-ness level is all that consistent. Perhaps someday we'll see that attitude again. Perhaps.
Now, to finally address your initial comment: I am the one who says this. I am the one who says he is mean in Infested. And! That's because he's written that way.
This isn't modern nice Sonic, but this also isn't Attitude Guy from the 90s/early 2000s. This is a secret third thing. And by that I mean he's an amalgamation of STC Sonic and Archie Sonic. He's done a lot of learning and growing and he doesn't want to hurt his friends, but his first instinct is harsh, snippy commentary or outright lashing out. He has learned and has to bury that horrible little monster inside him. For Tails's sake.
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iamgonnagetyouback · 1 day ago
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Prompt 5 from the Christmas prompts is the story of my life 😭 I swear I’m sick every Christmas
I feel like Remus would be the perfect caregiver though! Bringing you cocoa and giving you lots of snuggles to keep you warm, not worried at all about you getting him sick just trying to make you feel better.
Ugh, being sick during Christmas is the worst! But you’re absolutely right—Remus would be the best caregiver. He’d make being sick almost worth it. Almost. 💛
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remus lupin x reader who always falls sick on Christmas
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The universe was out to get you. There was no other explanation.
Snuggled under a fortress of blankets on the couch, you sniffled, your glare fixed on the twinkling Christmas tree. Everything was perfect—crackling fire, stockings hanging neatly, a soft hum of holiday music in the background. Except for the glaring detail that you were once again sick on Christmas.
Remus entered, balancing a tray with a steaming mug of cocoa, a bowl of soup, and an annoyingly gentle smile. His cardigan was slightly oversized, sleeves pushed up just enough to reveal his forearms. You could barely muster the strength to scowl at how calm and collected he looked.
“Of course I get sick on Christmas,” you lamented, voice heavy with misery. “Only me. Every year. It’s like a curse.” You punctuated your point with a long sniffle.
Remus set the tray down and perched on the edge of the couch, his hand finding your forehead to check your temperature. “That’s not true,” he said, voice soothing but suspiciously light.
You squinted at him, suspicious. “Yes, it is. This happens every year without fail.”
“No, it doesn’t,” he countered. “Last year, James was the one who got sick.”
You froze, mouth open in disbelief. “Excuse me? That’s a bold-faced lie.”
Remus chuckled, clearly prepared for this. “It’s not. He spent the entire day sprawled out on the floor, moaning about how he’d lost his sense of taste and dramatically declaring he wouldn’t live to see the new year.”
“That doesn’t count,” you snapped, sitting up straighter. “James is always like that. He stubs his toe and acts like he’s been mortally wounded. This is different.”
Remus raised an eyebrow. “Different how?”
“Because I’m actually suffering,” you said, clutching your blanket tighter. “This is real pain, Remus. I’m a victim.”
He bit his lip, probably to keep from laughing, which only fueled your indignation. “A victim of… the common cold?”
Your eyes narrowed. “Wow. Nice to know where I stand in your priorities. Here I am, barely clinging to life, and you’re making jokes.”
“I’m not joking,” he replied, though the corner of his mouth twitched. “I’m just saying, for someone who’s ‘barely clinging to life,’ you’re awfully chatty.”
“Oh, so now I’m annoying?” you gasped, clutching your chest as if he’d struck you.
He laughed then, leaning in to press a kiss to your temple. “I didn’t say that.”
“But you were thinking it,” you accused, your tone dripping with dramatic flair.
Remus pulled the blanket tighter around you both, settling beside you and pulling you into his side. “You’re right,” he said solemnly. “You’re the picture of suffering. No one’s ever had it worse than you.”
“Thank you,” you sniffed, but the satisfaction was short-lived. “Wait, are you mocking me?”
“I would never,” he replied, though his grin betrayed him.
You huffed, sinking back into the couch. “I’m too sick for this,” you muttered. “Go mock Sirius or something.”
“But Sirius isn’t as cute when he’s sick,” Remus said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.
You opened your mouth to argue but were cut off by a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Besides,” he murmured, “I’d much rather be here, taking care of you.”
For a moment, your indignation wavered, replaced by warmth at his words. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” you grumbled, leaning into his side.
Despite the stuffiness in your nose and the ache in your head, you let out a soft laugh. “You shouldn’t be so close. You’ll get sick.”
He smoothed a hand over your hair, thumb brushing soothingly along your temple. His touch was so gentle, you wanted to melt into it, fever and all. “I’m not worried about you getting me sick, you know,” he murmured. “I’d rather stay here, risk it all, and keep you warm.”
The warmth of his words wrapped around you better than any blanket. “You’re ridiculous,” you whispered, the teasing edge in your voice softening.
“And you,” he replied, “are stubborn.” He tucked the blanket more securely around you, fussing like you were something fragile. “But I suppose you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t grumble a little.”
You huffed, nose scrunching in mock annoyance. “Grumble? I’m dying, Remus.”
His lips twitched, eyes sparkling with fond amusement. “You’ll survive,” he said, reaching for the cocoa. He blew on it gently before handing it to you. “Drink.”
“I know,” he said smugly.
“And if you get sick, I’m not taking care of you,” you added, taking a sip.
“Sure, you won’t.”
“I’m serious,” you warned, though your tone lacked any real heat. “I’ll fill your soup with glitter and make you regret everything.”
Remus chuckled, his hand tracing soothing circles on your back. “Glitter or not, I’d still risk it.”
The fire crackled, the tree lights twinkled, and for all your dramatics, being sick didn’t feel so terrible—not with Remus by your side.
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REQUESTED FROM : this post RELATED TO : this post
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rita-repulsa-ke · 2 days ago
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Next time
“She killed me!”
“She does that.”
“But—the ballad. The road!”
“All a lie, I’m afraid. A little trick she uses to lure people to their deaths. Like a beautiful siren on the rocks, singing to passing sailors.”
“Um.”
“Yes?”
“You’re staring at her.”
“Am I? I guess I am.”
“Can she see us?”
“No. She knows we’re here, though. She always knows.”
“I’d like to give her a piece of my mind.”
“I can pass on a message, if you want?”
“Tell her she’s a despicable, wicked creature who deserves to rot in Hell.”
“Ooh, very harsh. I like it. So. Are you ready?”
“…No. But I don’t get a choice, do I?”
“Nope. Sorry.”
“There was more I wanted to do.”
“There always is.”
“…What happens next?”
“Come and see.”
*****
“Hi, Ags. One of them says you’re a despicable, wicked creature who should rot in Hell.”
”How incredibly unoriginal. Which one?”
“….uh.”
“Wow. You can’t even remember, can you?”
“...Maybe that one?”
“That’s a little insulting to the souls of the dead, not being able to tell them apart.”
“I see a lot of them. And they generally all have something nasty to say about you.”
“And that does hurt my feelings so. I cry about it every night. But you know, at the end of the day, I’m alive and they’re dead, and knowing that gives me the strength to carry on.”
“…you’re funny.”
”Looks like I can still make Death laugh.”
“Agatha…”
“Hmm?”
“…you know.”
“You miss me, you love me, you’re obsessed with me, that sort of thing?”
“Yes, Agatha. That sort of thing.”
“Hey, Rio, want to know something?”
“Probably not?”
“I wish I had never met you. I wish I had walked away the first time I saw you and never looked back. If I could take back every time I told you I loved you, I would.”
“What, all six times?”
“And only half of them real.”
“…stop.”
”Oh, that one hit, didn’t it? You were always so easy to manipulate. Please, my love, please. I love you so. Anything like that, and you’d do whatever I asked.”
“Yes. Because I love you, Ags, beyond all reason, even when I wish I didn’t. You can make me regret it, though.”
“Not half so much as I regret ever having loved you.”
“You do still love me, you know. You’re angry and hurt and taking it out on me, but you—“
“I don't. You can stalk me and obsess over me and follow me to the ends of the earth, but that part of me died the moment I buried my boy in the ground. I don’t think I can love anything anymore.”
“Beloved…”
“But if I could, I can promise it will never be you.”
“…All right, Agatha.”
“…That’s it? All right? I mean, that one was really vicious. I've been working on it all morning. I was hoping for a better reaction."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Crying or sulking or disappearing or something. …Not stabbing."
"I don't really know how to cry…Were you really working on it all morning? What incredibly cruel thing to say to me this time?"
"On and off. Around other things."
"…That's nice."
"What?! No, it isn't. It's the opposite of nice, that's the point."
"It's nice that you were thinking of me."
"...I honestly wonder what it's like to be you sometimes.”
"At the moment? Lonely."
"That wasn't meant as a question. But how can you be lonely? I'm right here."
"...you are very mean, beloved."
"Ah, there, that's better. More along the lines I was hoping for. Now shoo, I have other things to do, I'm a busy woman."
"Other things like what?"
"I'm sorry, are you under the impression that I'm going to share information with you, the being I hate most in the entire universe?"
"...Fine, Agatha. Have it your way."
"Wait!"
"Yes??"
"At least try to remember which one insulted me next time."
"...Really? That's what you—oh! Next time. Next...yes."
"Mmhmm. And I promise, eventually I will make you cry."
"I honestly don't think I can."
"Watch me."
"Always."
"...No, but really go away now."
"Yes, Agatha. Until next time."
"...See you then."
Want to read more witch fics? Here's a masterpost or go check out Death on Drums because I heard the 70s version of the ballad again and thought of it
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ghouljams · 3 days ago
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Hey Ghoul saw you were doing therapy on your anons so I am here NOT to request therapy but to ask for idk tips, thoughts, opinions
How the fuck do you realise someone's flirting with you? How do you flirt back? I've found myself realising I was in a date while I was IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DATE so clearly my skills need work lmao
People always tell me "Oh, you need to be confident" and like. I'm plenty confident. I'm outgoing, I can talk to a wall, I'm a good storyteller, I like to think I'm quite funny. So it's not that I'm scared to talk to people.
It's just that... Apparently I flirt without realising and then end up in situations because I DIDN'T KNOW
And then when I actually Like™ someone I simply become a wet mop and that's why I've always been single (no, kidding, I've always been single because the people interested in me were not people I was interested in and on top of it they had to explicitly tell me because I didn't realise so it was all very awkward 😭)
Actually this is a wonderful question/looking for tips that you've brought me because I have a real answer to this!
Statistically speaking, and according to the university of Kansas, people are ASS at telling when someone is flirting with them. Genuinely we as humans are so bad at distinguishing what is and isn't flirting that we reliably can't tell who is flirting with us and who isn't. It's truly a wonder the human race has lasted this long.
A lot of it is environmental as well, so in places where people are looking for flirting they're more likely to assume people are flirting with them, and vice versa.
Now in terms of you flirting with other people I have no advice. There's so many tips out there and all of them will feel unnatural to you. The only way to flirt with someone is to have a genuine interest in them, and then you'll just sort of do it subconsciously. I don't think I've ever consciously flirted with Mr. Ghoul but somehow he's in the picture. So idk man.
Uh otherwise men are more likely to assume you're flirting just by being nice to them because they've been socialized to associate attention with interest, and women will never assume other women are flirting with them because they've been raised to see compliments and casual intimacy as natural between friends(which is great but girl I'm trying to fuck u please). So you're really just better off doing what you're doing and being your charming self.
If all else fails it's really flattering to have someone straight up tell you "I'm flirting with you." Also you can always ask for clarification, most people will find it cute.
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Did you ever considered doing what you do professionally like journalism in sports media? You have such a strong grasp of everything that you write. I believe you could make some money from this. Sorry in advance if you already answered it!
thanks for that compliment, anon! 🫶 no, this is just a hobby for me. traditional football journalism (which is what i would want to do) is actually a hard career to break into as a full time job. plus, now media outlets are prioritising content creators/football influencers doing the latest trends, etc. and not hardcore, long-form journalism. but i have nothing but respect and gratitude for those who have dedicated their lives to covering women's football 🫡
plus, i do love my job (stress and all) and it has allowed me to achieve personal and financial life goals (like travel and home ownership) and get close to achieving the next round soon. 🙏
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haha, yes indeed. now that would be an interesting proposition. hey in a different world @vamos-woso and i would have our own women's football podcast. i'm pretty sure we could do a 100% better job than a lot of offerings out there 😅
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haha, i think my knowledge is just average. but you have to realise that where i am from, football is a religion. i grew up playing football with the boys in my neighbourhood/school. and then joined a local girls' team for a short time before my parents wanted me to focus on studies.
but the biggest tip is watching football. i have been watching football with my family since i can remember (over 25+ years) 😂 it was a way for the whole family to bond and we would go to matches every once in a while too. plus, we all have that relative or family friend where you don't really want to talk about your private life, so football is a nice, safe topic that everyone can participate in! 😅
and then i started traveling and went to my first in person women's world cup in 2015. and it really became a passion after that! 🙏
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feroshgirlsims · 2 days ago
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Chapter 7.3 - You Can't Go Home
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As they filter off the train, the smell of iron gets further away and Akira finally begins to relax.
He asks her a ton of questions, partly because he's curious and partly because he wants to keep the focus off himself. Alice is in the middle of talking about her class when her body goes rigid.
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Akira scans for a threat but comes up empty. Train stations are generally pretty clear of supernatural creatures, except low-level spellcasters and baby vampires at night. They aren’t much use when you can transportalate, turn into a bat, or run for miles in wolf form. And the fae avoid them altogether. 
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“You good?” 
She flinches when he reaches for her hand. “I-I’m fine,” Her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Do you smoke? Weed, I mean, not cigarettes. I…I think I’m gonna smoke. Do you wanna come with me?”
“I thought you said you had to turn this assignment in,” he reminds her.
She stares across the platform, but he still can’t figure out what she’s looking at. 
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“I’ll do it later. And you don’t have to come. That was weird of me to peer pressure you,” her laugh comes out high-pitched and wrong, “You're probably busy. I’m good. I’m gonna go. And you’ll go, and I’ll just see you later.”
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She's babbling and her hands are shaking. There is no universe where he just leaves her like this.
“Yeah, I smoke," he takes her hand and leads her to the exit. "And I got time. No classes, remember?”
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Akira has been to the Commons a few times (for creeper reasons), but he's never climbed the tower. The air is especially crisp, but Alice doesn't seem bothered by it.
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Despite resisting earlier, he finds himself wishing she would extract some promise from him—some commitment to keep him tied to her. It's a terrible idea. He knows better. Akira has always been careful not to break one of the rules he’d learned by brute force.
“This is a shit weed,” he coughs.
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“Hey!” Alice playfully points an accusatory finger, “I invite you to my secret perch and share my paltry stash, and you insult me?”
“You need a new dealer if this is your stash.”
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“And a new bank account!” She laughs. “Try to chillax, my dude; you are working against the medicinal benefits.”
He tries. His lungs fill, but it takes three more rounds of coughing before he evens out. Alice, meanwhile, is a professional. She barely coughs, though she's had twice as much as him. He's not even sure she's high.
"Why photography?" he asks when she joins him on the bench.
"Most of the time, I get asked about painting; no one even thinks about photography."
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He shrugs, "Your focus isn’t Fine Arts. Why am I gonna ask you about something you don’t do? You want me to guess?" When she nods, he waves a hand across the sky, pretending to paint a picture. "Art lets you remake the world in a more pleasing image, which is kind of nice because the world is shit. But you do photography because you want the shitty stuff upfront. No lies. You'd rather tango with the truth."
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She straightens, suddenly alert. "Maybe. Kind of. But photography is also lies. All you do when you snap a picture is capture a moment in time. You can still tell yourself a story about the emotion you saw or what really happened. It's just a different kind of lie from painting."
The weed is definitely kicking in, but he likes her explanation.
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"So what are you studying?" she asks.
Direct questions are the hardest to dodge. Especially now when he feels like he’s floating a hundred feet in the air. "I'm studying nothing," he says honestly. "I just follow what interests me."
"Why?"
"Because I have a lot of time." Infinite, actually, if he kept his head attached to his body and didn't end up on the wrong side of a curse.
"If I had time, that's what I'd do too. And catch up on back seasons of 7 Wild Dates."
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Akira laughs, "Stop. I changed my mind. That show is moving to the bottom of my watch list."
“Don’t be mean!” Alice sticks out her tongue, "That's quality programming you're missing."
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They smoke more and talk about nothing, which feels like talking about everything because Alice leaps from topic to topic. She knows a little about a vast number of subjects, like knowledge for her is a series of wading pools and she's just hopping from one body of water to another.
It's how Akira operates too. Once he gets the gist of something, he's ready to move on.
“Tell me one thing about you so you can stop accusing me of hanging out with a stranger," she says, "Where are you from?”
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A flash of pink sky. 
A veil that never seems to part.
A home he can’t get back to.
The yearning is so real he jolts. “What if I told you that nothing about me or my life is what it seems? And because I don’t want to lie to you, you’re probably gonna find I won’t answer all your questions. Maybe any of them.”
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Alice thinks for a minute. “I guess I’d say tell me what you can, not what you can’t.”
Akira wants to praise her wordplay. He wants to kiss her. He does neither.
“I love horror movies,” he confesses, “When I was like, 10, I snuck into the Moonlight Massacre Marathon at the theater downtown, and I was fuckin’ hooked.” 
The whole story comes tumbling out, even the part about Titania being a little shit and ratting him out to their parents. Alice laughs and complains about her step-sibling, and Akira viciously guards every drop of information she shares with him.
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“I like horror movies too. If I throw in Moonlight Massacre II, will that elevate 7 Wild Dates on your watch list?”
His phone buzzes with a reminder about tonight’s job. He gets to his feet. “Next time,” he tells her.
“You promise?”
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A promise is a dangerous thing. 
—A binding thing. 
A vow. 
No promises. 
Akira nods, “Yeah, I promise.”
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PREV | NEXT
(Part 3 of 4)
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chloesimaginationthings · 5 months ago
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PHONE GUY DESIGN IM LITERALLY SCREAMONG RBEUBQHGWVS
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IM GLAD YALL LIKE HOW PHONE GUY LOOKS!! I didn’t expect so many to be down bad for him-
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benevolenterrancy · 1 month ago
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Scholarly peak is catching up on recent literature
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oneluckydragon · 1 year ago
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I know it's a story, oh I know it's just a story. But why does it feel like my worst nightmare?
My Explorers of Sky Hero, Echo!
Lately I've been writing a study on her and this paragraph is taken from my rough rough draft. It's a more in-depth exploration of her character/origin/experiences and since I am a huge fan of the darkrai reincarnation theory, this is my personal take on the concept.
I think it's a bit poetic that Echo, in the aftermath of everything, winds up as a dark-type again (and one connected to the moon no less, the irony) as well. I mean, her timeline of lives has literally been this:
Darkrai (New Moon/Pitch Black) -> Human -> Eevee (Evolution) -> Umbreon (Moonlight)
A lot of her evolution into umbreon has to do with her personal trauma/amnesia and also significant influence from dusknoir (who she trusted and cared about), but deep down I feel like her evolution was also partially determined by the fragmented remnants of her original self. She even tried to evolve into leafeon, which obviously, did not work out as planned. Perhaps this is her past lives way of manifesting in her current self, though she is no longer the same pokemon anymore. Maybe it has something to do with self-forgiveness or acceptance? She still has a lot of healing to do, though.
Once evolving into a dark type, Echo slowly starts to regain some of her memories from her time as Darkrai. And Team Wish's new friendship with Cresselia, who is more perceptive than she has any right to be, gives Echo a lot of insight into exactly who she is. This spirals into Echo battling the reality of her past actions alone for a long time because how is she supposed to admit the truth to Sora? That she was the direct cause of their shared suffering? That she and darkrai are one and the same? That all of the pokemon of the future lived in an eternity of hell because she desired it? Of course, she keeps quiet for a long time out of pure fear-- because if Sora rejected her, she'd fall apart. It's a lot to keep secret but what else can she do?
And bonus!! Does Echo's shadow change during each night of the new moon? Hmm. Sure does seem like it.
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giantkillerjack · 6 months ago
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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deepseawave · 4 months ago
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
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#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻‍♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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rowenabean · 5 months ago
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e77y · 2 months ago
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Got rear-ended 🤗
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orcelito · 29 days ago
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This morning, my therapist called me to let me know she's setting up her own practice via telehealth (which is what we were using Anyways) & asked me whether I'd want to follow her there. She still has to set stuff up with insurance stuff But her out of pocket stuff is like HALF what I've been paying out of pocket for the company she was in. So I was like, Hell Yeah let's do it
So im gonna keep up with appointments, maybe once a month or so, just so I have the accountability + the ability to ramble about what I've achieved. Bc that's been rly nice for me. I'll have my therapist back!!!! And better than ever, if only because I have to pay so much less for it 😂😂😂
And ALSO, today I put in my course request for the orchestra into the form. So different from just two weeks ago, where I was practically begging to be given a chance to audition. I was sitting in the same spot of the lobby even, but putting in my official orchestra request instead of sending an email as I vibrated in hope and anxiety. I Got It tho. And the class won't even be that late in the day. It's really exciting.
#speculation nation#also general bonding with friends etc etc. very nice.#it's like. my day took a real turn for the better. my gender communication class was covering relationships today#including abusive relationships and how people express love.#the abusive relationships one had me like. actively a little uncomfortable hfkshfkd not like it was BAD bc it's important to teach the signs#but especially when it came to the Volatility sign i was just like. yup. uh huh. yeah. yup. hfksbfmsbc#because it. hit Real close to home for That One shitty relationship way back when#most days i forget i was in an abusive relationship And Then I Remember.........#anyways thankfully we didn't have a discussion over that. but we Did have a discussion over how often we say 'i love you'#professor was asking for a numerical estimate. and some people were saying like 5 or 6 times a day#meanwhile me realizing i only ever really say that to family (human-wise). and i only see or talk to family every so often.#but i say it a lot to my cats. a Lot. theyre my babies. i love them so much.#so i got kind of stressed and overwhelmed thinking about how the most i say is like 'ilu' but only to like one friend and only rarely.#even in romantic relationships i havent said it for the most part. bc it's mostly not been true and i Dont Like To Lie.#so i got to thinking about Why and had a thing of 'am i heartless??' etc etc. but i think i really am emotionally distant#which i think stems from the fact that i dont trust much of Anyone to be in my life long-term besides family#and the only non family i feel comfortable Sometimes saying this kind of thing to is someone ive been friends with for nearly 8 years now.#so i guess i trust that theyll be here longterm. so i feel less anxiety about expressing it.#my friends told me that they see i still care tho in the ways i act and try to take care of them.#so. not heartless. i just struggle with telling people how i feel.#hfmahfmshfms so yeah bit of a weird day but it got better!!!! and now i am. chilling.#gonna play more sims 2. yes.#abuse ment/
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girlivealwaysbean · 2 months ago
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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg
#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with#like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks#but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do#and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration#and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just#go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission#and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na#and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta#style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine#you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents#im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless#but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just#doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial#stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the#point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc#but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time#and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally#having 103 FEVER.#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn#checking my fever sote jaagte#like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being#like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still#idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love#not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional#and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen#horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she#wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay#moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld
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phagodyke · 4 months ago
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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
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