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localtrashstan · 3 months ago

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My SDV Headcannons

I've decided to create a whole list of SFW headcannons for each bachelor and bachelorette. I do have some NSFW ones, but will NOT be sharing them here. Hope you all enjoy and that my favorites aren't too obvious 🫣

Sam:

- 23 or 24 at the oldest

- I think he's tall, nearing 6’0” if not there

- has a lot of ear piercings, maybe gauges

- has a tongue piercing

- probably has a lip ring or two idk I think he'd look good with snake bites but idk if he would actually have that or not. Ik Jodi would hate it lmao

- has a scar through his eyebrow and in other places on his body from skateboarding accidents

- is also always covered in scrapes and bruises for similar reasons

- loves animals, especially dogs

- very golden retriever coded and is blatantly clingy

- very outgoing and was probably the class clown type in high school

- loves rock and metal music, especially 90s grunge and punk

- definitely has a battle vest/jacket

- can only grow a bit of stubble on his chin that he stubbornly keeps

- is very muscular since he is so athletic

- can play the drums as well as guitar

- is always tanned bc he goes outside a lot

- probably would be a good dad bc he spends a lot of time with his little brother and seems very protective of him

- can befriend almost anyone

- has some silly tattoos

- likes the song writing process the most about music

- used to play acoustic guitar bc his dad taught him how. He rarely plays acoustic anymore, but will if you ask him to

- is very close with Vincent despite the age gap and enjoys being around children

- has ADHD

- his favorite season is summer bc that meant no school as a kid and just never stopped loving it

- very clingy and loves physical contact

- wears several rings

- lets Abigail paint his nails bright colors and begs her to redo them when they're gone. Red, green, and blue are his favorite colors but he doesn't have a preference

- develops crushes easily

- never got great grades in school

- has done illegal things like trespassing, speed racing, graffiti, lighting things on fire, etc

- he and Sebastian naturally were friends since shortly after they met

- would run a meme account on Instagram or something

- has freckles all over

- amazing singer, I imagine he has a voice similar to Noah Sebastian from Bad Omens (ik that's a common HC but whatever) and I imagine his band making similar music

- tried to teach Seb to skateboard and it didn't go well at all

- would write love songs and poems about his partner

- mischievous 25/8, I like to think in middle school he used to watch a ton of prank channels and would recreate the pranks much to everyone's annoyance

- just a silly guy, he will always keep his whimsy

- sk8r boi to his core

- I feel like he learned how to play a lot of meme-y or annoying songs on guitar just to be obnoxious bc he thinks it's funny

- I think once he moves out he'd do a lot of growing up but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be silly and kind of a rebel sometimes

- I feel like he's really into punk fashion and bands

- probably likes Nirvana, Blink-182 and Green Day a lot, I imagine he's into a lot of 90s music, probably 80s too, I can see him being really into Led Zeppelin and other hair bands and stuff

- would probably listen to any kind of rock or metal tbh. I think he probably chooses the music when the trio hang out together. Like maybe he has a playlist he made with all of the music they like on it and he likes to update it regularly to make sure there's something on it for everyone

- would ask if you'd still love him if he was a worm

- he probably liked dinosaurs as a kid but more in a "I want them to eat each other and destroy my toy cars and little cities like godzilla" kinda way than "I can name every dinosaur from the jurassic period and know random facts about all of them" way, which I image is more the kind of kid Seb was

- he writes most of their band's songs, but Seb and Abby like to contribute to lyrics and melodies sometimes

Sebastian:

- 25 or 26

- short king and is only like 5'7" or 5'8"

- has tattoos on his torso and arms, some of them he did himself as I imagine he probably has done some stick n pokes

- has an eyebrow piercing, multiple ear piercings, nose ring, and maybe a lip ring idk

- got Sam into modern rock and metal music when they were younger

- gave Sam and Abigail some of their piercings and did some of his own ear piercings

- taught himself programming and probably was a bit of a hacker too (maybe even got a degree but nobody remembers)

- became besties with Sam when they were kids (ik Sam grew up in the city, just let me have them as smalls playing together okay 😭)

- has a soft spot for all animals not just frogs

- originally learned to play the piano, Robin taught him how

- has never been in a relationship but I feel like maybe he's been kissed and had his first time at some point. He's awkward and kinda a loser (lovingly) but I imagine he's not entirely oblivious at the very least

- has a dry sense of humor + is super sarcastic. I feel like he might be really witty and pop off with something sometimes. Probably also likes to tease people a bit

- wears contact lenses, used to have giant nerdy glasses as a kid

- doesn't get cold bc he's used to the cold in the basement

- I am a doc martens/boots wearer Sebastian truther but I imagine he also wears converse type sneakers a lot too, especially in the warmer months since boots get too hot

- Maru's room used to be his

- loves horror, sci-fi and fantasy mainly but I feel like he secretly likes romance a tiny bit and he watched cheesy romance films with his mom growing up. He will NEVER admit to it though

- I feel like if he just learned how to cook he'd be good at it

- dislikes pda, seeing it and participating in it

- would show up at your house in the middle of the night to take you on a nighttime motorcycle ride under the stars

- will quit smoking if his partner dislikes it, even before marriage. I think he'd be really eager to please his partner in any way he can, and that would include quitting smoking

- he picked up smoking just to piss off his step-dad/maybe a little bit for attention too

- paints his nails black with markers when he's bored (unless Abigail does them)

- wears frog print socks secretly. I feel like he also has froggy pajamas. Or maybe the farmer bought them for him idk

- is actually really strong despite being pretty skinny. He has some faint abs maybe (if you squint really hard, trust), he probably got them after meeting his partner though bc he wanted to help out. Has toned arms from his mechanic work, but that's it tbh bro is a twig

- bought his motorcycle by himself and Robin hates it. She worries about him every time he goes out on it. She even pitched in to buy some of his gear because she wanted him to be as safe as possible

- wears eyeliner sometimes

- is touch-starved

- falls in love hard and fast

- wears a few rings on a nearly daily basis

- can also play electric guitar, Sam taught him how to at some point, although he claims he isn't very good if you ask

- can sing really well, he just never does bc he gets shy. I think he'd have a really sweet voice though and I imagine he sounds like Ricky from MIW

- writes songs sometimes but is shy about claiming them as they're often personal

- introverted as fuck, his social battery dies very fast and it wears him out

- is secretly skilled in the mines I think, especially given what gifts he can give you as your spouse and his dialogue about the rock crab in the mines

- very great mechanic and fixes stuff around the house without anyone noticing

- his closet is mostly black with hints of gray, red and white thrown in

- probably listens to MCR tbh and had a phase where he was obsessed with them in like middle school or something

- I think any rock and metal music with really emo or angsty lyrics would be his thing. Probably like metalcore too. Bad Omens, MIW, BMTH, shit like that, but he'd like and respect the greats as well, especially since he'd be listening to music with Sam a lot. I'm really into Ghost rn and I feel like he'd like them too idk

- ties his hair up when working sometimes

- smokes pot occasionally with Sam

- he's naturally pretty bc I said so

- smells like spicy cologne, something woodsy, motor oil, rain and faintly of cigarette smoke (he's careful to smoke outside only bc Robin hates it) (maybe smells a little like weed sometimes too)

- is the most mature of the A.S.S. trio

- highly intelligent, especially emotionally, he just isn't really known for it

- once he moves out he and Maru spend time together and end up making up and starting to have a healthy relationship until they eventually become besties. I imagine that they mainly bond over sci-fi movies and novels or comics

- he and Robin used to be really close

- knows how to dress wounds really well bc he used to do it for himself and Sam when they'd get into trouble as kids

- is an indoor person now, but used to go outside a lot as a kid to catch frogs

- definitely has his own D&D campaign, I don't make the rules

- I feel like if the poor man saw the sun he'd have some freckles on his nose

- has some cute moles on his body I just know it

- would go to war for his friends tbh

- definitely has doxxed someone

- actually incredibly sweet???

Elliott:

- 29

- i feel like he's like a solid 5'10"

- actually thinks he's Mr. Darcy

- ties his hair back with a ribbon sometimes and it's so pretty

- is the type to hang out in bookstores and coffee shops all day just writing

- was a theater kid

- definitely came from a rich family but is humble about it, maybe he got disowned or kicked out or something

- went to private school

- has a degree in language arts

- used to tutor his classmates for money

- is besties with Leah

- Willy reminds him of his grandfather who loved to fish

- very into nature conservation, especially the ocean, things he learned from his grandpa. He likes to talk to Willy and Leah about this sometimes

- he'd actually donate some of his writing income to some kind of nature protection organization if he ever made it big and got rich

- he's very dramatic in everything he does

- loves plants, please be prepared to have a whole house full (or if you had a sunroom, that would be filled up)

- wears satin pajama sets

- has a whole skin and hair care routine

- goes to spas and salons

- probably takes better care of himself than any of the other bachelors do tbh

- I feel like he's a beer drinker in public but drinks wine a lot in private

- writes poetry about his lovers and it's really deep and romantic stuff, Shakespeare would be impressed

- he'd 100% take rose petal baths

- actually uses good conditioner, shampoo, and body wash, homie takes care of himself, none of that 3-in-1 shit

- became a writer after falling in love with classic literature and Shakespeare

- would write plays for his high school

- very melancholy bc his rich family disinherited him, disapproving of his career choice

- likes to feel pretty

- I feel like he, Haley and Emily get together to swap fashion, hair and skincare tips sometimes

- would keep a fish tank (the man has a crab friend in his jacket pocket, like????)

- so fucking romantic, this man will remember every anniversary and make it better than the last

- heart is too big, I fear

- lives in a romance piece 24/7 and thinks he's the main character

- loves to go on long walks

- loves playing with and doing hair

- likes to hum classical music when he's deep in thought, it reminds him of when he was a kid

- very good piano player

- keeps a little notebook and pen in his pockets in case inspiration strikes wherever he might be

- probably collects fountain pens and other fine writing tools, or at least greatly appreciates them

- thinks he was born in the wrong era sometimes

- reads a lot in his spare time when he isn't fishing

- collects anything he finds pretty, kinda like a magpie

- probably owns some first edition books

- I bet he was kinda a nerd in school, like very theater kid, orchestra kid, reads a lot, valedictorian type of guy. Spent so much time studying and pursuing his passions that it made him feel a little awkward when trying to make friends

- Leah has definitely made him some book covers before

- Likes to cook, especially seafood

- has studied abroad at some point and made whatever European country he went to his entire personality for a couple weeks after coming back

- a good listener

- I feel like he likes to decorate a little bit

- goes through coffee almost as much as Sebastian and Harvey on the nights when inspiration hits so hard he can't sleep until he's gotten everything down on paper

- would let his partner do his makeup, nails, and hair if they asked, would even make a whole thing of it and maybe even do theirs

- I don't feel like he actually owns a lot of super casual clothes and mostly likes to dress to impress so to speak as he greatly believes in first impressions

Shane:

- 30, maybe 32, definitely in his early 30s though, he's too jaded to be in his 20s imo

- 5'9"

- I'm so sorry but he uses 3-in-1

- used to be a gridball player until an injury in high school. He was on track for a scholarship too

- dropped out of college bc he felt it wasn't worth it anymore

- is actually friends with Sam, he enjoys his company at JojaMart but will never admit to it

- he and Jas have tea parties

- Jas paints his nails sometimes

- when he gets married he takes Jas with him bc she is literally his daughter???

- weak af to persistent people and likes them despite acting like he doesn't

- bro just needs a hug, okay??????

- actually feel like he gives the best hugs tbh

- probably smells like damp hay and alcohol. However, at the same time I feel like he's the type of guy to use way too much axe body spray so idk there

- can grow a beard, I feel

- dad bod but he was always a stocky guy even at his peak athleticism

- would wear his clothes until they fall apart, he really doesn't care

- doesn't know wtf self care is

- help him plz

- is secretly a huge softie, you just have to get past the rough exterior

- would be super supportive as a friend or partner

- gets hungover all the time so he is a master at effective remedies and literally keeps ibuprofen in his pockets

- eyebags for days bc I don't think bro actually sleeps

- he would honestly be such a relatable coworker idk

- would get a midnight snack

- I feel like he listens to the Beatles and other oldies idk. Maybe like 80s and 90s rock/grunge bands too and a little bit of metal just to get the aggression out. I feel like he probably really likes Metallica, Slipknot, System of a Down, Disturbed, Five Finger Death Punch, Arch Enemy, Bullet For My Valentine, In This Moment, and Lorna Shore. This could be something he and Sam bond over and Sam starts showing him more bands. He also definitely listens to divorced dad music too

- gamer boy and good at it. Sam asks him for advice on games all the time

- would be a streamer, probably doing gaming or something with the chickens

- vents to his chicken Charlie

- follows Sam's meme account and just doesn't know it's Sam's

- I feel like he watches comedies and sitcoms to numb the pain but he probably is more of an action fan and I can see him watching crime shows or like superhero stuff and being REALLY into it

- feel like he had a vintage superhero comic collection at some point

- probably has at least one embarrassing tattoo he got while drunk

- his favorite pet name to call people is doll, darling, or sweetheart and I feel like he kinda just calls everyone that

- buys whatever is cheapest whenever he has to buy clothes and doesn't care too much about what it is so long as it seems relatively durable and is comfortable

- if he got his shit together I imagine he might collect vinyls and be a bit of a sneakerhead tbh

- wears a friendship bracelet Jas made him

Alex:

- 22

- probably 5'10" or 5'11"

- he and Haley are besties

- would spot you in the gym if you asked and give you pointers

- actually so friendly???

- hate to tell you this but he uses 3-in-1 (Haley is trying to fix that)

- always wanted a younger sibling so he's very fond of Jas and Vincent

- gives Jas and Vincent ice cream in the summer when Penny isn't looking

- actually very emotional but that isn't masculine and he kind of subscribes to toxic masculinity but he's working on it

- his grandparents dote on him like crazy, even George

- was a mama's boy fr

- i think he genuinely likes exercising not just bc he's naturally athletic and like gridball. I imagine other sports are fair game to him too

- himbo

- he's just a silly guy

- I like to think his mom made him eggs all the time bc she wasn't a very good cook and that's why he likes them so much

- actually a huge gossip

- flirty as hell and will flirt with anything that moves

- watches way too much sports on TV

- dyslexic af

- very muscular and cares a lot about his body and health

- competitive as hell in everything

- would have an in home gym and help his partner with any manual labor

- teen flick jock cliche

- really wants a muscle car someday

- is kinda a show off but we still love him for it

- sneakerhead fr he's got a huge collection i fear

- wears brand name clothes

- goes through way too much hair gel tbh like boi give ur hair a rest plz

- only let's Haley paint his nails clear </3

- has sleepovers with Haley

- this mfer is NOT good at cooking he eats like those gym bros u see online eating plain rice and chicken

- I feel like he really liked flying kites as a kid and idk why

Harvey:

- 35, but that might be bc of the old man hobbies </3

- TALL, like over 6'0", probably at least 6'2"

- very awkward and introverted, my poor man

- workaholic but he has to be

- please take a rest good sir

- wishes he could grow a beard but it's patchy af so he just shaves it off and keeps his mustache

- I feel like he's divorced or like got left at the altar or some shit and it took a huge hit on his confidence. Maybe a long term relationship went really poorly? Like he wasn't there much bc of med school and long hours and such and so he was cheated on or broken up with after a long term relationship that he thought was going well

- used to work in a big hospital in the city but the shifts and internal politics took a toll on him so he moved to Pelican Town to open his own small practice

- used to wear contacts but stopped buying them bc he couldn't wear them through long shifts at the hospital in the city, they hurt his eyes too much bc they got so dry

- he was definitely very studious and probably also played an instrument

- still talks to his parents on the phone regularly and they often ask if he's dating anyone and when he's gonna get married

- definitely a family man and loves children bc he doesn't feel as awkward with them

- gets take out all the time even though he'd like to eat healthy

- I think he and Elliott would actually get along really well

- please take a vacation

- is running on 3 hours of sleep, take out, coffee, and a shot of five hour energy

- probably spends a lot of time on his mustache and making sure it's well groomed

- tbh he'd just be a well groomed guy in general

- i feel like he's very averagely built, maybe got a little bit of a tummy

- calm energy

- likes to take care of others but please someone take care of him, he needs it

- doctor mode 24/7, he never really actually takes a break

- prioritizes everyone else's needs over his own

- recovering people pleaser

- listens to audio books sometimes

- owns a mustache comb

- is incredibly tidy and neat (except for his office which I feel is always littered with paper work)

- owns one of those flight simulator games

- also has a collection of model planes, some of them can actually fly remotely

- would be into drones I think

- not very good with technology

Abigail:

- 22

- tiny, only like 5'1"

- plays with ouija boards 4 fun????

- has definitely made a house haunted b4 bc of that ^

- has a tattoo of a sword on her forearm

- has multiple ear piercings as well as a septum, Medusa and a bellybutton ring

- feeds stray cats all the time

- is very into mythology and learning about monsters, I feel like she has a collection of books on them

- secretly trains with a sword

- collects crystals despite the fact she eats them </3

- wants to move to the city away from her overbearing parents with Sam and Seb

- is learning to play bass guitar :)

- knows how to play flute bc that's the instrument she played in high school

- befriended Sam and Sebastian in middle school but didn't hang out with them much until high school

- alternates dyeing her hair purple, blue and forest green but always comes back to purple since it's her favorite

- has a tattoo behind her ear of a monster

- Emily gave her an undercut that you can only see when she puts her hair up

- she likes to do tarot readings with Emily sometimes

- probably has had a crush on Haley at some point idk

- loves the fall, it's her favorite season

- is actually curvy bc I want her to be

- is the one that suggested and started the sleepover tradition in Sebastian's room

- paints Seb and Sam's nails

- has a dark sense of humor and some people just don't get it

- loves action, fantasy and horror

- is Wizard's daughter, I just know it. I know some people argue about it but just makes sense!!! How else could she eat rocks????

- feels bad for the monsters she kills when she does go into the mines and I feel like she does funeral rites, prayers, or something kind of ritual to pay her respects for them

- I feel like she's really into witchy stuff and should be friends with Emily bc of it

- stomach of steel bc wdym she eats crystals?????

- I feel like she and Sam can eat two whole pizzas each in one sitting. Each.

- I think she'd like goth bands, I can see her listening to a lot of them, but she'd probably listen to other rock and metal bands too just bc of Sam and Seb

- definitely had an Edgar Allen Poe phase

- so adorable????? (Your honor I love her)

- probably has nice arms from drumming and wielding a sword tbh we stan stronk women

- I think she'd like the band Ghost and would get Sam and Seb into them

- her singing voice sounds something like Lzzy Hale's voice from Halestorm. Strong but still pretty and feminine with a bit of rasp to it. Or maybe like Joan Jett? Something like that

- probably had a manic pixie dream girl phase

- at her maximum chaotic when she's with Sam and definitely joins in on some of his pranks

- likes to “borrow” Sebastian's games

- bickers with Sam as though they are siblings (bc they basically are)

- horror films are her favorite, anything spooky, gloomy, or action packed is up her alley too, though. She'd be a huge Tim Burton fan, I think

- super into Gothic fashion and makeup, I think she'd be a trad goth if she was able to

- I feel like Seb got her into anime and manga and she got really into isekai at some point

- DIYs her clothes sometimes

- secretly is super into cute things and has a little collection

- ultimate wing woman

- teasing master tbh

- competitive when it comes to gaming

- likes to go exploring

- liked to make “potions” as a kid and ykw if she really is Wizard's kid then maybe some of them worked....

- naturally kinda loud, especially when she gets passionate about something, good or bad, and tends to yell when she's excited about something without realizing it

- would go into the mines with the farmer

- likes to help her mom tend to her plants in their greenhouse

- will hang out at Joja Mart during Sam’s shifts sometimes and annoy him/distract him

- has a collection of ridiculous photos and videos of Sam's failed attempts at various tricks on his skateboard and likes to randomly send them to him

- can play pool, Sam and Seb taught her

Emily:

- 26

- 5'7", she looks like she's built like a model, tall, thin, and with long limbs

- dreams of becoming a fashion designer in Zuzu City someday and has an extensive portfolio

- her and her younger sister Haley moved to Pelican Town after their parents decided to move to another country bc it got too expensive in the city with just the two of them

- I pair her with Sandy, I'm convinced they need to be together please do not separate

- so friendly so people (Clint) take it the wrong way

- dyes her hair

- an astrology girlie

- does tarot with Abby

- has a dream journal she's been recording her dreams in since she was 10

- collects crystals for their healing properties and power

- was a party girl in the city

- low key the town barber/hairdresser

- I feel like indie music is more her thing, especially deep underground artists, but I think she'd also listen to anything popular as well. Maybe likes 60s and 70s as well, I can see that. Idk tho she's kinda a wild card, for all I know she could be listening to metal with Shane

- has definitely done shrooms and other hallucinogens, like I said she was a party girl

- I feel like she has a high alcohol tolerance and could drink a lot of people under the table and it always surprises them especially given she's tall and thin so there's not much to her

- vegan and probably attends protests and rallies for veganism but isn't annoying about it or anything, just passionate about what she believes in

- has traveled a bit and likes to try new things

- probably had/has a vlog channel on YouTube or maybe would do something similar on TikTok

- she sometimes makes clothes for Haley

- is a great drink mixer and she prefers cocktails over beer. Given her party girl energy, I think she'd still do tequila shots though

- is very dedicated to her Instagram and it is very artsy

- I feel like she likes crafty stuff in general

- cuts her own hair and has had many different styles over the years

- gives everyone fashion tips and is not a gatekeeper

- girls girl fr

- would be that girl you meet in the bathroom while drunk at a bar and become friends with her instantly

- if you're close she'd make clothes for you :)

- was on the dance team in school

- actually has a college degree in fashion merchandising and design

- I feel like she wears a lot of vintage style clothes like 60s, 70s, and 80s mostly and would totally go thrifting a lot and know all of the best places and times to go

Haley:

- 21

- only 5'3", she didn't get the tall genes

- bc she used to live in the city she grew accustomed to that lifestyle and had a hard time adjusting in Pelican Town. I imagine her photography was probably a huge source of comfort for her during that time

- Emily makes her clothes sometimes, and she acts like it's annoying but she actually super appreciates it especially since there isn't really anywhere to shop for clothes in person there

- has tried sun-in in her hair before she realized how bad it was for it

- surfer girl fr

- took a photography course in school and wants to be a nature photographer or maybe a fashion photographer

- I feel like she gets her hair done every 6 months on the dot and Emily does it for her

- kind of babygirl coded idk

- I feel like she'd take jobs as a photographer for engagements and weddings in the city

- I think she and Leah would get along since they're both artsy. Maybe even Elliott too

- ykw fuck it, she, Emily, Leah, Elliott and Alex have sleepovers sometimes and they also set up a little fair in the town square for the kids with Penny to educate them about the arts and Alex would be general support for them but might even do fun games and activities with the kids too

- definitely a pop girlie but I think she'd secretly listen to a bit of the oldies with Emily. Likes all the typical artists you'd expect like Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Chappel Roan, Shawn Mendes, Sabrina Carpenter, Britney Spears, Beyonce, One Direction, etc. But I also imagine she's into some 80s and 90s stuff too like Destiny's Child, Spice Girls, Michael Jackson, Prince, David Bowie, NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, etc.

- would have a tiktok and do a lot of the trends. Probably does a lot of get ready with mes and story times too

- has the most aesthetic Instagram you've ever seen and posts all of her photos on it

- has the most followers in Pelican Town

- secretly likes to model Emily's clothes for her

- wanted a pony as a child

- probably collects fashion dolls but doesn't let anyone know about it bc she thinks others will think it's lame (even though it's actually really cool)

- intense skincare routine

- would be into doing a full face of makeup all the time and she's amazing at makeup

- I think she loves giving makeovers idk

- fantastic nail artist, I feel like she does nails for anyone that wants them done

- she and Alex always somehow know all of the gossip and are constantly have little tea spilling sessions

Penny:

- 20

- 5'5"

- tries her best to be sociable. I imagine she really likes people she's just a bit more quiet and so she comes off as being really shy

- she is interested in history, poetry and literature and wants to become a teacher one day so she is tutoring until she saves up enough to go to college

- book club with Maru and sometimes Leah and Elliott joins

- loves children so much, I imagine she really wants to be a mother

- I feel like she likes to bake and cook even though she sucks at it (but over time she does improve!!!!)

- probably the straightest bachelor/ette at first glance, but I kinda ship her with Maru tbh so…yk

- trad wife tbh

- she'd bake you bread and cookies all the time if u were her friend

- I feel like she reads classic literature a lot and might actually get along well with Elliott

- likes to take care of people in general honestly and is a HUGE people pleaser

- kinda vanilla tbh, I think she's just really sheltered and idealized the "perfect" traditional family since she never got that for herself so much tho so it comes off that way

- loves nature, cares a lot about plants and animals. Goes on walks a lot

- likes to spend time making lesson plans for Jas and Vincent (and later Leo)

- knows Alex is giving Jas and Vincent candies and ice cream but pretends not to notice bc she thinks it's sweet he likes them so much

- Only paired with Sam bc he's kind of childish and she clearly likes to take care of people. I think Maru (or even Harvey?) would be a much better pairing for her

- probably likes stuff like Celine Dion and Whitney Houston. Maybe even Taylor Swift. Ykw if anyone was gonna listen to country out of the bachelor/ettes it would be her. I think she also likes to listen to movie scores as well tho and needs calm background music while she's working

- she'd have a dislike for Sebastian and Shane simply bc they don't look at the world the same way she does. I don't think she gets along well with pessimistic people at all. Haley and her probably also don't like each other much

- is jealous of Maru for having a good relationship with her parents and spends a lot of time at her house

- likes to use community resources with the kids a lot (library, museum, park, community center, etc)

- health conscious, I imagine she actually takes a lot of care of herself in that regard

- wears very stereotypically feminine attire. I feel like she might also be really into 50s styles and silhouettes but might even like some of the more preppy 90s looks too

- probably likes old classic Hollywood a lot, I feel like The Wizard of Oz was her favorite movie as a kid. Nowadays she probably has a Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn movie as her favorite. For some reason I'm feeling Gentlemen Prefer Blondes or maybe My Fair Lady

- likes old romance films, but I don't think she reads much romance

- reads mainly poetry, classics, history and teaching handbooks and guides, but since she does book club with Maru, I imagine she's read her fair share of scientific works and sci-fi novels

- always wanted to learn to play an instrument but never really got the opportunity to do so

- likes to crochet or knit

- collects stuffed animals, even though she's worried that its childish

- likes going to festivals and carnivals

- I feel like she's pretty religious

- won't knowingly consume alcohol bc of her mom but when she does she is very much so a lightweight. One drink and it's game over. Also feel like she's a very flirty drunk, or and overly honest one

- her father cheated on her mom and they divorced/he left them for his other family and now she distrusts people (especially men)

- loves botany and is also super into Victorian flower language

- wears Mary Janes and ballet flats the most

- early riser and a morning person

- technology doesn't really get along well with her but that's okay since she doesn't use it all that much

- really enjoys being outside, especially in the spring and summer

- watches a lot of documentaries and reality TV shows. Feel like she's also super into musicals

Leah:

- 24

- 5'5"

- makes book covers for Elliott occasionally

- sculpture is her favorite art medium and she finds herself inspired by the greats

- I feel like she's a Monet fan tbh

- very close with Haley, Elliott, and Robin

- she spends a lot of time outside finding inspiration from nature and is especially fond of the ocean. She probably goes on fishing day trips with Elliott and will just paint or draw most of the time

- likes to cook and is very good at it. Girl can make something from nothing like magic

- doesn't have a favorite specific film genre, I think she just likes to admire the cinematography tbh

- has a dark room she lets Haley use whenever she wants

- does arts and crafts projects with the kids for Penny sometimes

- likes nature and plants

- I feel like she's actually hilarious and would be such a fun friend to be around

- holds her liquor well, she could probably drink everyone in town under the table tbh

- she's probably traveled to every great city for art and visited many museums to see the originals up close

- caught Sam doing graffiti once but it was so good she pretended she didn't see

- a girls girl fr

- very strong, I think she'd actually be a pretty muscular lady

- freckles all over

- outside is her favorite place to be and I imagine that she really likes the summer

- loves to hike and go camping and would take friends on trips with her

- likes to feed the ducks

- eventually has an art gallery in the museum and runs an online print shop

- I feel like she'd be the most likely to have a pet racoon for some reason

- likes to go "hunting" for antler sheds and uses them in art

- has a collection of rocks, wood carvings, postcards, and I think she even has a collection of bones she finds around outside

- knows how to hunt and fish but I don't think that's really her thing tbh. I imagine she likes animals too much for that

- i think she was probably very outgoing and artsy in school and probably had a lot of friends also into the arts

- comfortable and practical clothes are more important to her than fashion

- would make her own natural hand soaps and lotions and ykw they'd smell so freaking good

- bakes bread once every week

- makes her own butter and cheese

Maru:

- 20

- 5'4"

- very interested in all kinds of science as well as technology and engineering (we stan women in STEM)

- I'm sorry she's just so cute

- definitely a big bookworm, sci-fi is obviously her favorite, but she often gets mad at the bad science in some of them

- would have a blog where she reviews books, movies, and TV shows she reads/watches

- probably used to write fanfiction tbh

- she does her own thing and likes doing so, but she often wishes she and Seb were closer and I imagine she awkwardly tries to make an effort but it goes unnoticed or reciprocated until after the two are living more separate lives

- golden child in every way, I don't think she's ever done anything bad in her life

- daddy's girl fr, she and Demetrius have always been very close and it shows

- friendly with everyone but I imagine she's a little awkward in her own age group as she probably doesn't keep up with slang, trends, or popculture

- was interested in medical science at some point

- engineering is her favorite but she likes all science and technology

- I feel like she listens to whatever music Penny or her parents listen to

- would totally watch sci-fi movies with Sebastian once they're on better terms

- gamer gurl

- she probably unknowingly plays games with Abby online all the time

- I think she and Abby aren't close but are friends and would probably talk a lot about games they like as well as astronomy, and Abby would try to help Maru get closer to Seb

- night owl, I think she almost stays up as late as Sebastian

- I imagine she probably really likes astronomy and stays up late looking at the stars when she isn't up late working on projects. She probably has the kind of personality where she will focus so hard on a project that she'll forget to eat or sleep because she doesn't want to lose the ideas she has or will be too determined to fix something or finish the project

- was very good at math in high school as well as chemistry. I think she may have even been in a science or math based club like mathletes or physics or something

- tries not to always suggest sci-fi novels during book club but often can't help herself

- I feel like she actually really enjoys medical dramas as well

- might even like classic film and musicals bc Penny got her into them and will find herself humming songs from musicals while working

- again, I pair her and Penny a lot in my head bc I just think they've got the most chemistry

- I think once she finally bonds with Sebastian it'll be like over Star Wars or something

- owns several pairs of glasses so that she can swap out the frames to match her outfit

- she has textured hair with really pretty defined curls. Sometimes she'll get braids done, but usually she let's her natural hair shine as is but likes to wear headbands and fun headscarves to keep her hair out of the way when she does her projects.

- does own a pair of contacts that she occasionally wears

- sometimes she forgets she's got goggles on her head or around her neck after working on a project

- wears a lot of cute and casual clothes that are more easy going like jumpers, cardigans, overalls, shorts and a t-shirt, just super casual and comfortable

- still has held onto her childhood favorite toys

- has a large collection of books whether they're novels, manuals, or scientific and medical textbooks

- knows first aid and is very good in an emergency

- I think she and Harvey probably talk about books and planes a lot when things are boring at work

- takes really good care of her hair

And that is all for now!! Sorry I posted this so late I had a lot going on irl. I've also got some dating and NSFW HCs for the bachelors (and a few for the bachelorettes but not enough for a full post for them atm) and maybe someday I'll post those but for now this is it. Thanks for reading hehe

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wandering-pirate · 7 months ago

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Headcanons on each of the crew members' music taste

(cause I've got nothing else to do during vacation, ig)

Capt. Curly

The Captain and his Wham!, A-ha and Westlife obsessions

Rooted from his childhood and teenage years idolizing his older brothers (and also him being a hopeless romantic)

Still not December nor winter, but has Last Christmas on a constant loop

Was forced to have earbuds on the Tulpar due to Jimmy's I-can't-take-all-those-lovey-dovey-lyrics, are-those-even-real-songs complaints

Definitely knows all the lyrics of his favorite bands' songs (he insists that a true fan must not only know the top hits, but also the more obscure songs... whatever he means by that)

Mechanic Swansea

You ain't gonna deny this gruff man's love for country songs

Definitely a fan of ACDC and Guns 'n Roses back in 'his golden days'

The older he got, the more he appreciated the Carpenters and Air Supply. Secretly memorized half of the bands' top hits.

Always playing slow country songs after their dinner date with his wife and slowdancing her (yeah, he a gentleman like that, unlike others *side eyeing u Jimboy*)

Co-pilot Jimmy

The type to always play Metallica, KISS, and Nirvana on speakers at max volume to cover up his one true music taste: emo--

Secretly has a playlist of My Chemical Romance and Backstreet Boys... and dozens of albums

Curly once heard Jimmy singing I Want it That Way in the showers. Ended with constant denial from the latter

"Come on Jimmy, there's nothing ba--"

"IT'S POPULAR ALRIGHT!? WAS JUST STUCK TO MY HEAD!"

"Tell me why! Ain't not--"

"DAISUKE, GET THE FU--"

Intern Daisuke

When I say Pop music, I mean it

Whatever's trending and whoever the artist is, leave it up to him to make the crew suffer

"APT, APT~ APT, APT~ AP--"

"ONE MORE OF THAT ALIEN WORDS OF YOURS, BOY!"

Definitely suffers from last song syndrome

Definitely responsible for the Tulpar being full of 'No singing the same line for more than three times' signs

Introduced Anya to Japanese City pop songs, took pride after she loved them

Nurse Anya

Baby girl's got solid music taste

You can tell her current mood with whatever she's currently listening

Loves 70s and 80s soft rock bands, like the Beatles and Eagles, all by her uncle and dad's addiction to them

Influenced Daisuke's love for Queen, definitely contributed to his severe LSD of 'We Will Rock You and Don't Stop Me Now'

Hid from a raging Swansea for a week after that

Also listens to Aurora, Laufey and Imogen Heap whenever she wants an earbreak from a full-on band (told you. SOLID TASTE.)

Always switching between the two ends of the spectrum. No in-betweens

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fonksfvcks · 1 year ago

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what d u think idia's aftercare is like? (to an afab)

-idia simp anon (i love your insights sm)

if he does research and knows what aftercare is like then i'm sure he'd do anything to help you come down, but if not, then i imagine it's a little minimal?

he knows to clean up the mess.

he knows to try and hug you (as much as he doesn't like physical touch, he tries his absolute best to make you feel whole with his hugs)

he knows he should praise you, but i think he's very nervous when it comes to that, and you'll end up having to console him later about it because he'll feel guilty for not caring for you to the best of his ability and will probably apologize or cry a couple days later because all he does is think about it.

he'll ask if you need a morning after pill and probably orders one online or has someone pick it up for him so that he doesn't have to face anyone. he knows he did the deed with you and he's embarrassed enough, he doesn't want people looking at him like that.

people say that idia has snacks on hand and probably knows good ones, but that's not lore accurate. idia actually hates eating to a certain degree, and usually eats very easily prepared food (cup noodles, instant stuff), or things out of cans/prepackaged. he thinks it is a waste of time and doesn't enjoy it, so i think he wouldn't really know to give you food and water, as (this is just a headcanon) i imagine he probably drinks a lot of his nutrients via. vitamin water, infused teas, etc. people also say that idia probably drinks energy drinks but as someone with severe anxiety i think he lays off them because they make him think more. his anxiety and love for games and tech keeps him up enough, i don't think he actually needs an energy drink to do the work for his already overactive mind.

back to aftercare, he would let you hold one of his plushies if it helps. mans probably has a bunch of plushies of his favorite bands or characters. if you need a distraction or something, he'll put on a movie and tell you all the lore he knows, or show you music he likes. he'd probably be the type to curate an after-sex playlist so you can be calm but also listen to things he likes and therefore, he can share an interest with you.

to summarize, idia doesn't know a lot about it, but the things he does know, he tries his very best to do. you'll have to guide him and be patient with him, but he'll probably also take initiative and do research if you make it clear you're interested in him and would do it again with him sometime.

#idia simp anon :3 #idia x reader #twst smut #idia shroud smut #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader

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keystonepublishing · 11 months ago

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Dirges in The Dark by WixWrites

Before I start, let me just say: Ranchers! Scarian! Hermits and Life Series and Empires characters! Sheriff Jimmy! Sheriff Scar! Criminal Tango! the Wild West! Treebark and Ethubs!

RANCHERS. THE WILD WEST. CREEPING ELDRITCH HORROR.

Whoo, that was a rush.

I'll be honest; I think this book would have come out much sooner if not for my decision to add-in a whole lot of stuff into the text and pages. It got to the point that the original cover would have been a wanted poster at the front and a sheriff's report at the back!

I had to restrain myself, lest this book would never get finished at all. It's already been 59 days since my last post, and doing the original cover would have stretched the days even further. So I had to follow the mantra: Finished, not perfect. Besides, nothing says I can't make another version in the future...

From the moment I finished this fic, I knew it would become a book. But at 143,412 words, Dirges in The Dark by @twodiamondhoes would stretch my ficbinding skills to the limit and would be the second-ever bind that would reach past 250 pages (the first was an MCYT Sleepy Bois fic that predates this blog that I want to redo).

Eventually, the full typeset took up 520 pages! And as such, I finally decided to use extra support for the entire textblock. From an old pair of pajamas, I backed strips of fabric with glue and paper before cutting it into tapes, forming a crucial support for the various weaves along the spine. I then covered the entire spine in brown wrapping paper for even more strength.

For the title and headings, I scoured for and found several typefaces, dingbats, and vector graphics which really evoked the fic's Western and Gothic vibes. I also took some inspiration from fellow ficbinders in the Renegade Publishing group for the style of layout and formatting throughout the book, such as using faded images in the background of these pre-story pages.

I wanted the reader to be immersed in the Wild West from the get-go, so having such images from the start — before the story even begins — felt very appropriate. I tried to make them thematic to the information presented, like a singing cowboy for the music playlist pages, but I think I made the image too faint to be seen!

As for the chapter openers, I experimented with some layouts before finalizing on what you see: photos taking up one entire page on the left with the chapter titles and opening paragraphs on the right.

Just like my last bind, I want to make the reader feel immersed in the story and also bring out the mood of that particular chapter. This, however, led me to entire days of scouting and scouring stock photo sites just to find the right pictures for 11 different chapters. 4/10 would not recommend for sanity.

Given that the story uses a number of foreign words, old slang, and specific Wild West-era terms, I added a plethora of footnotes at the bottom of some pages for extra context and meaning.

I also wanted to be playful and make certain story parts, such as characters receiving letters and notes, really look like they're a part of the story. So I cropped old paper textures and fished out old fonts from the past to make them look as if they're actually there, pasted against the paragraphs!

More importantly, there were some specific parts of the fic that felt super important and I wanted to highlight these passages, especially the Deals made by the characters throughout their arcs. Given DiTD has a certain affinity with eldritch darkness, I decided to highlight such paragraphs by backlighting them against a band of pure black. Besides being thematic as hell, I made the bands have curved edges and decorative lines to add a certain western-gothic touch!

It was from this that I begin to think "what if I can color entire pages to convey the mood and setting?"

...Which led to the madness in these pages. I can't reveal too much because of spoilers, but there are certain times when the characters end up in situations where the very light turns to dark. Or they end up in hellish situations. Or the eldritch creatures began to speak.

It took some creative brainstorming to figure out how to show the mood of such scenes in printed pages, but I eventually figured out that I need find the right fonts, change their colors from black to white, and then change their backgrounds from white to dark to highlight them all! The power of formatting!

There's a lot more pages where I went wild with such shades and fonts, but I ain't revealing in public because spoilers!

But undoubtedly, this is the biggest experiment I have made with this bind. There is a certain part where Grian and Pearl spoke in eldritch R'lyehian / Cthuvian, and I want to convey the sheer strangeness of the speech and it's meaning. Something outside the box.

Luckily, I have an inspiration in fellow fanbinder @mythrilthread, who made an amazing fanbind that used vellum overlays to showcase the speaking of alien languages and what they mean in English. AND IT LOOKS SICK AS FUCK. When I finished reading Dirges, I knew I had to emulate this form of language translation, so I printed the eldritch speech, cut it, and pasted it onto the spine to give a similar effect of strangeness, and IT LOOKS SO COOL!!!

And lastly, I just had to include some of the amazing fanart made by readers into the book! All of these are placed by their corresponding text and chapters, and they all look so cool!

So I want to give a special thanks to @azzayofchaos, @leafdoodles, @hybbart, and @foxyola for granting their permission for me to include their incredible works into this bind! The dark shades and page formatting is one thing, but these works truly make this book feel so much more alive!

All in all, this bind was an odyssey in the making. I experimented with page formatting, layout wizardry, and bookmaking methods that I haven't tried before. While I know I could do better, I am beyond happy to see this work finished!

And once again, a thousand thanks to @twodiamondhoes / WixWrites for crafting an amazing story!

#bookbinding #fanbinding #ficbinding #my bookbinds #mcyt #Hermitcraft #Life SMP Series #Trafficblr #Empires SMP #Dirges In The Dark #jimmy solidarity #tangotek #team rancher #solidaritek #Wild West #Old West #American West

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cautious-soup · 14 days ago

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Songs for Bucky (with context for why most of the songs are there)

I've watched classic black and white movies since I was a kid, and have been listening to oldies music and jazz for around as long. Naturally, I wanted to make a playlist for Bucky. I'll include a guide for most of the songs in order and why I added them. Songs without context are just to fill out the playlist/songs that match Bucky's vibe--enjoy!

Playlist Link

Lullaby of the Leaves: This song appears several times in the playlist--meant to represent Bucky's memories of his past.

Swing Guitars: I have a feeling that Steve liked big band music whereas Bucky preferred swing, and discovered he liked 60s jazz as well (appears soon)

Blue Orchids: He thinks about Steve when he listens to this

Spiral: From one of the albums Sam made Bucky sit down and listen to. "You gotta listen to this man--this is it, he's the best there is." This is Bucky's favorite on the album

Chattanooga Choo Choo: A very popular song from the WWII era--also trains. We know about Bucky's relationship with trains. He loved this song until he became the Winter Soldier, and couldn't listen to it for a while. But after deprogramming while in Wakanda, he rediscovered it.

Love's Old Sweet Song: An old Irish song that Steve's mom would sing to both of them

My Foolish Heart: What he first listened to after Steve went back to Peggy

Alright: Yes, I do believe that Sam made Bucky sit down and listen to the entirety of To Pimp a Butterfly. This soothes my black soul. His favorite song on the album. Also this song, along with Kendrick, have a meta connection to Wakanda. Kendrick also used a lot of jazz tones in this album--the sax in the background of this one speaks for itself.

Friends and Strangers: Bucky just likes how this one sounds

Autumn in New York: Memories of being in Brooklyn during the fall with Steve

Bye Bye Blues: He listens to this to remind himself that it's better to look forward than back

#character playlist #playlist #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #winter soldier #winter soldier playlist #marvel #mcu #marvel headcanons #mcu headcanons #marvel thunderbolts #avengers #the new avengers #thunderbolts*

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cmspeirs · 8 months ago

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Band of Brothers Headcanons: What music they’d be listening to

(+ Playlists and absolutely historically inaccurate)

A/N: Hey! So here’s my first BoB headcanon - I hope you enjoy it! I’m sorry if this is rather short. Let me know if you’d like to see other characters in those or have any requests :) I also spent way too much time making several playlists for them, I’ll link them for you at the end if you wanna listen to them!

{Dick Winters}

• Classical. Music.

• Can list you every thing that Bach or Vivaldi ever published, but with the backstories

• I just picture him closing his eyes and sighing very loudly whenever he listens to something he loves

• Will dance to old Jazz music until the sun comes up, and says the day after that it was a really wild night

• Also listens A LOT to Lana (would never admit it)

• Secretly gossips and argues over her online. Tries to keep it a secret but his username is “DickDelRey101”

{Lewis Nixon}

• Classic Rock all the way

• I’m talking Bob Dylan, Rolling Stones, ACDC…

• “Paranoid - Black Sabbath” was his wedding song

• When he gets home he falls into the old chair next to the record player with a bottle of whiskey already waiting

• He’s always like “I need this music to calm down, don’t you understand???” and absolutely means it

• Drives the car only to listen to “Enter Sandman” and wear sunglasses while he does (windows all the way down, volume max)

• 100% certified Dad music

{Ronald Speirs}

• This mans music is all over the place

• Just like my feelings for him lol

• But mostly listens to a lot of old music???

• Like 40s to 60s, also a big fan of Elvis and Johnny Cash

• Literally has pictures of them hanging in the doorway

• Always says he doesn’t care about things like music, but will make a playlist for every one he meets with songs that remind him of them

• I swear to everything music would be one of his love languages - he’d absolutely remember every song you ever liked

• Turns the radio louder randomly to songs with the explanation “saw you smiling to that with your morning coffee last week”

{Donald Malarkey}

• Listens to a whole lot of sad songs - and I’m talking about gut wrenching, laying on the bathroom floor kind of sad

• Also somehow into Grunge??

• At least three Radiohead songs in every one of his playlists

• The Smiths is his happy music

• When his favorite Pink Floyd Record is on he listens to it all day. He runs to push the play button again every time it stops.

{Joe Toye}

• 100% an alternative Rock / Nu Metal kind of guy

• Would have Deftones playing all day

• Also listens to Bloodhound Gang a lot lol (The song “Jackass” is his anthem!!!)

• Just imagine him sitting in the garage with Guarnere, drinking beer while an old Limp Bizkit vinyl is on

• He thinks it’s the greatest thing of all time that bands began to combine Rap with Hardcore

• In terms of that - definitely a fan of Deez Nuts, Hollywood Undead or Linkin Park

• “Band of Brothers - Deez Nuts” is literally his favorite song

{George Luz}

• Unironically listens to the Soundtrack of Oklahoma

• It just puts a smile on his face every time he hears it - takes him back to the news of the musical still on broadway back in war

• Also loves & defends Tom Lehrer to death

• He knows every song from him by heart and always sings the loudest

• Will randomly sing his favorite songs throughout the day, which makes everyone shake their head but deep down they all love it

• He’s almost afraid of sad music

• He aspires to be Ricky Nelson in another life

{Eugene Roe}

• Similar to Malarkey, but doesn’t cry to those songs

• Just sits in silence with a cigarette between his fingers, staring into the nothingness while thinking about his time with Easy

• “Feels like a movie” - songs were made for him

• When he listens to Elton John or Billy Joel you know he’s in a happy mood

• Is also the anonymous person Winter argues with online about Lana

• DickDelRay101 replied: Are you clinically insane? How could you deny it’s her best album? Did you even listen to it?

• Absolutely knows that it’s Winters and accidentally called him Sir when he replied (several times)

{Joe Liebgott}

• Hear. Me. Out. He’s a pop punk & grunge boy all the way

• Has a big collection of thrifted vinyls (if you can’t find him, search at the next thrift market)

• Puts on Nirvana or the Offspring and just lays on his bed while smoking a whole pack of cigarettes

• Room full of ripped band posters and at least one guitar (but can’t play, although he says he can)

• 10/10 would’ve lived in a skatepark in another life

• Also really into Old school HipHop, loves the Beastie Boys

• Accidentally went to a New Kids on the Block concert once. Said he hated it but stayed until the very last minute.

{David Webster}

• Would also listen to classical music

• But it would just be for people to think he’s very intellectual, actually can’t stand it

• In reality really into slow and soft love songs

• Listens to Vera Lynn on a daily basis and happily admits that he cries to her songs. Always speaks of “Our Vera.”

• When he listens to “There’ll always be an England” he suddenly gets an English accent.

• The Fleetwoods is his favorite band

• Tries to listen to Pop Punk because he knows Joe loves it, but he absolutely hates it

• “There’s no emotion Joe!!”

• “For fucks sake, Web, there’s all the goddamn emotion!!?!!”

{Bull Randleman}

• Hard Rock, can’t say more

• Also 100% certified Dad music. He’s the one who visits Nixon once a week to play poker and smoke cigars while listening to his records

• Is the guy at a concert who will accidentally throw you to the ground while in a mosh pit

• But will absolutely make everyone stop so he can pick you up again

———

Link to the Ronald Speirs playlist:

Link to my profile - the other playlists are on there (still updating them regularly):

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ckret2 · 2 months ago

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I just wanted to say that I have been loving the Akuposting that has been happening as of late. The vibes that evil tree gives off are immaculate and so are the considerations you give his character. Consider this an open invitation to share any more random bits you might want to on him and Scaramouche/Mojo/the PPGs/anybody else you like!

I got this ask while I was working on the big art post for the kage and hikaru au, but saved this for a separate post just so i could post even more, different headcanons lmao.

I'll fling out several headcanons but I'm gonna put them all in separate posts so that it's not one super long post on a dozen topics again. because i crave peer validation and maybe if they're several shorter posts more people will comment lmao. The others will be posted not long after this one.

for this post I'm giving you some thoughts about scaramouche's & aku's musical tastes. I'm sticking it under a read more but first, ✨a request for help from y'all✨:

Are any of y'all fans of free jazz/avant garde jazz/experimental jazz? Do you have any recommendations for a newbie just stepping into the genre? Preferably ones that highlight the flute? Thanks gang.

Okay so Scaramouche's flute playing & singing is pure improv; if he's got any specific musical style, it's some kind of jazz. But we never hear him performing, like... normal music.

Two possibilities: either his magic to works by hitting certain notes or intervals, so he's just trying to make the necessary sounds, not play "music"; or, you need to be so far down on the jazz music iceberg you can't even see sunlight through the water before you hit the kind of avant garde shit Scaramouche is into.

Logically, I think the first option makes a little more sense; but personally, I like making in-character "what would they like to listen to" music playlists, which means I need to have a canon basis for the character's musical tastes; so I'm rolling with "he's into experimental jazz."

(The problem is I've dug into jazz for a prior character, but it was pre-WW2 jazz & swing. Like, "We'll Meet Again is way too late for the kind of jazz we're talking about" jazz. For Scaramouche I need "We'll Meet Again is way too early for the kind of jazz we're talking about" jazz. Whiiiiich is why I'm asking for recommendations lmao.)

The group of bots Scaramouche has jam sessions with are playing jazz so free that if a recognizable melody ever dared walked into the club, they would shoot it dead on sight. Their jazz is so avant garde that should the uninitiated ever hear them play, they'd think "oh wow that's what happens when you hand robots instruments, they don't understand music at all." No. Those robots understand music better than you or I ever will. The most elite of jazz snobs walks into that club, hears them play, and begins weeping at the beauty. It's exquisite. If you're into that kind of thing.

"Okay but the ask was for headcanons about Aku, how is that relevant to Aku?" It's relevant for this reason:

Aku thinks that shit sucks balls.

Scaramouche keeps inviting Aku to listen to his band play (the band does NOT know this and would be TERRIFIED if their boss showed up), and Aku keeps turning him down, because He Does Not Want To Listen To That.

Scaramouche thinks Aku's taste in music also sucks but he's willing to give it a shot. Aku doesn't care about his opinion.

I already did a headcanon about Aku's music tastes but I'm expanding on it: we've established that he's into techno music; I asked around on reddit about what kind of genre they think the mind control rave music is, and their suggestion is psytrance, maybe forestpsy or darkpsy, so that's what I'm going with until I can really dig into the nitty-gritty on the different genres in that area.

I think he'd also be into traditional music, like, "so old the only two people on the planet who still remembers these songs are Aku and Jack" traditional music. Before I can give specifics on that I need to do some research on traditional Japanese music.

Did you know your brain is trained to understand/hear certain music as musical? If you haven't been trained on a kind of music (just,, listen to it a lot), it doesn't hit. It doesn't sound "good" because your brain doesn't know how to listen to it. It might not even sound like music to you. Anyway—all that is to say that my brain has been trained on Western music, which means I'm anticipating a lot of musical brain training & historical research before I can give any sort of nuanced opinions on traditional Japanese music beyond "that sure is traditional and Japanese all right." So I'm gonna leave that part of his tastes vague for now.

But one extra detail: I think Aku was born already knowing some songs, including some from hundreds or thousands of years before he was born. They were songs sung by mourners at the edge of the pit of hate whose loved ones had been consumed.

#thewiglesswonder #ask #samurai jack #aku #scaramouche #headcanons

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dynamic-swap-au-archive · 1 year ago

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I'd like to offer gorillaz fans (and Potential gorillaz fans) another resource that I've spent over a year creating and perfecting.

The Gorillaz !

This playlist is, to the best of my ability, Every Single piece of gorillaz content that can be found on youtube in story order.

all of the music videos, all of the indents, all of the interviews, animations, radio shows, news specials, podcasts, audio books, tiktoks, Everything.

on top of that ! I made the decision to include select fan content! because Frankly the gorillaz fandom is unimaginably talented and creative. this includes Fully animating several music videos that were cancelled, but given to us in animatic form, original animations, animatics, and storyboards, fan visualizers and recreations of live visuals, even voice fan dubs for written material like the interviews and novels.

and more than that, with the (incredible) fan content that was available I've Also been able to flesh out the stories of each phase! a decision I made due to the plastic beach, the third album, never getting to finish the story officially (leading to the band breaking up and coming back 7 years later).

I'm so proud of what I've been able to do with it ! and even happier to share the picture I've been able to make as a whole :>

below the cut I'm going to include several other playlists that are based on this one, but made to be more digestible and less intimidating for newcomers ! as well as many other resources to fill in the gaps that this playlist can't ! (namely the written material)

thank you ! and I hope I can share something I love with all of you !

First is the simplest ! all of the music videos in order ! (plus a Few indents, because I can't help myself): [Link]

this obviously means that you lose out on quite a bit of context, as much of who the characters are as People and their relationships together are in the extra material (especially the shorts and interviews). BUT

this is the most Accessible, and also really convenient if you just want to vibe to the music. if you're not sure if you want to commit this kind of time to a cartoon band, consider checking this out! you may find yourself interested enough to learn more, or you may just have a good time and feel satisfied with what you've seen ! either way I'd be honored to have helped :>

Second, the Midpoint between these two extremes !: Phase 1-3 [Link] Phase 4-7 [Link]

these Include extra material like the shorts and animation, but Cuts Out some of the longer content like the podcasts and interviews! you can still get a pretty good idea about what happens in the story of each phase watching this, but it's not bogged down by videos that are hours long.

it'll give you a clearer picture of what's going on, include fun side content, while being less intimidating than the Full playlist. this is what I use to show my friends gorillaz !

alright, so you've got just the music videos and just the short stuff, now lets try just the Long stuff. all of the interviews, radio shows, podcasts, Etc: [Link]

maybe you've used my last playlists and now you'd like to listen to some of those long form videos you missed out on. maybe you just want to listen to these characters talk because it's Nice. either way, it's all here :> (I know, because I had to upload some of them myself)

Pirate Radio: [Link]

it's all here with One technical exception. pirate radio was the serial radio show for plastic beach/phase 3, that gave us insight into murdoc's frame of mind as a character. it Also used copywriten music. the reuploads on youtube cut the music out (likely because they wouldn't be available otherwise), while this google drive has the full unedited audio files if anyone would be interested!

this one may seem redundant, but I promise it isn't. All of the gorillaz albums in order: [Link]

this playlist (for the most part) doesn't Have any visuals, it's Only the music.

likewise, all of the music in the previous playlists are only those songs that Have visuals (official or fan made), which means not all of gorillaz's music is present! which is exactly what this is for :>

you have every album in order, filling in the gaps of what's been missed, As Well As special albums that are Associated with gorillaz, and gorillaz' guest appearances in other people's music !

now we're out of my playlists and into other resources :>

Lobotomy Pop: [Link]

this is a website that's worked for years to preserve and organize Every Single written interview gorillaz has ever done ! it's an invaluable resource and really just very cool.

it also categorizes several other things ! such as listing out all of the personal playlists the gorillaz members have put out over the years, or every profile that's ever been written for the characters ! it's very much so worth checking out as a fan.

Gorillaz Art Archive: [Link]

exactly what is says on the tin ! this is a google drive that's attempting to archive Every Single piece of official gorillaz art that was released from phase 1 in 2001, to phase 5 in 2018. it is Massive and it's such a joy to have access to

The Kong Files: [Link]

if you were wondering why the art archive stopped at 2018, this would be why ! the kong files has much the same goal, but instead picking up at phase 6 and continuing on Theoretically forever ! or at least it's kept up with all of phase 7

that said ! the kong files is attempting to document Everything relating to those phases. so all of the social media, all of the music videos, all of the written text, Everything !

I wouldn't try to Only use this for watching phase 6 and 7, but it's an Excellent resource for everything that could fall between the cracks

Rise of the Ogre on Archive dot Com: [Link]

rise of the ogre was an official novel released at the end of demon days (the second album/phase 2), that covered the entire history of the band up until that point! their backstories, how they met each other, what they'd gotten up to in the 10 years they'd known each other, and the shocking event that happened at the very end of the phase and the band's reaction to it. all leading in to plastic beach, (arguably) the Most story heavy phase of them all.

as I understand it, this novel has been out of print for a very long time and is quite expensive to buy second hand. so ! it's been scanned and uploaded here to the archive! there's actually several more scans available in the gorillaz art archive, but this is the most recent (having been uploaded just earlier this year).

Dawn of the Ogre: [Link]

dawn of the ogre is the fanmade sequel to rise of the ogre, attempting to fill in the gaps of what happened at the end of phase 3, the 7 year gap, and up to the (then) newest point of canon.

this is, of course, unofficial. so this is essentially fancy fanfiction. But it's extremely well done fanfiction that happens to be novel length, attempting to emulate the style of the original novel, and is fully illustrated. along with being available completely for free!

I'd definitely give it a shot, if you're the type of person who's already read rise of the ogre

the gorillaz wiki !: [Link]

I have no clue what the fandom thinks about it, but it was absolutely invaluable both in making my playlist, and becoming a fan at all. with all the work I've done my hope is that people won't need to go digging for themselves, but the Option is certainly always nice !

I'd Especially like to highlight this page [Link] which has transcriptions for all of the pirate radio show episodes !

I feel like there's a lot to find here :>

and of course, my own dynamic swap au archive! [Link]

if you've fallen in love with gorillaz and are desperate for more to sink your teeth into, then I couldn't recommend this enough !

keep in mind that these resources will continue updating ! as new music is created and new fan content is made! I'm keeping my eyes out on a fan project for a fully animated mv right now that I'm sure will make it to my playlists one day :>

#gorillaz #stuart pot #2d gorillaz #murdoc niccals #murdoc gorillaz #russel hobbs #russel gorillaz #noodle gorillaz #guide #it's a shame I Just missed demon day's anniversary #such is life

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redtsundere-writes · 2 years ago

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Out Of My League | Heartsteel Kayn / Rhaast

Heartsteel Kayn / Rhaast x f!reader

Part 1: Facecheck.

Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.

Sypnosis: A chronically online girl doesn´t know that her Discord friend may be someone she already knows.

Contents: Modern AU, High school AU, a lot of bad jokes and meme references. No warnings.

Word count: 2023 (omg this year)

Author's Note: So... this gremlin's birthday was yesterday and since he has been on my mind lately. I decided to write him a fic cause why not?

Thanks to @mclovin1803 for helping me with proofreading and picking a title. (If this is out of charcater, blame him)

You were the exact definition of an introvert. You weren't good at talking to people you didn't know, your social battery doesn't last long, and you get excited when your friends cancel plans at the last minute. You like your loneliness and spending the afternoon playing video games and your guitar.

As an introvert, you didn't have many friends aside from a few classmates and some family members you were close with. Luckily, you had several friends on Discord. Among them was someone by the username of Rhaast. You didn't chat with him often because he wasn't as chronically online as you were, but he knew you were always down to play League of Legends with him.

One night while you were comfortably playing the new Super Mario Wonder on the switch, you received a message from Rhaast.

@Rhaast: League?

It had been two weeks since you had last played together, so you put the Switch aside and accepted. You opened League and put your headphones on to hop on the call with your friend.

"Hello there," you greeted him like Obi Wan as you waited for Rhaast to enter the game. He laughed at the reference. He had a deep, kinda seductive voice. You didn't know for sure if he was pretending or if he really talked like that.

"How have you been?," you asked while looking for your nightly playlist on Spotify to set the mood.

"Great. Yesterday I went out with a girl and today I broke up with her." You rolled your eyes at the comment. You knew Rhaast was quite the heartbreaker for discarding women like they were underwear. Personally, you didn't like that about your friend.

"And now why did you break up with this one,?" you asked as you started the game.

"I only went out with her once and she was already bugging me. My phone kept ringing because of her, so I blocked her," Rhaast answered with a chuckle. “Thank God I'll never date this asshole,” you thought.

"I wish there were more girls like you. You wait for me to send you a message and you are always down to play with me." He said while locking in Zed as his champion while you locked in Qiyana.

"I’m always down to play with you because I don't have any friends, not because I like you." You kamikazed by words.

"Damn, and I thought you had a crush for me," Rhaast joked. "Come to think of it, you never tell me anything about your love life," He suggested so he could hear some gossip.

"I haven't told you because I don't have any," you said, pretending to cry. Rhaast laughed at your foolish performance.

"Come on, you must have at least a crush or something," he insisted curiously as the game began. There was no one you liked... but someone caught your eye.

You felt like a fool for getting nervous every time you saw Kayn and his group of friends walk past you in the hallways. Kayn was a popular kid from a higher grade. He was good at sports, had good grades, was a member of an upcoming band, and was always surrounded by friends, while you were the complete opposite. You knew you shouldn't be nervous seeing him around because there was no chance that he would have the slightest interest in you. The majority of girls in your class drooled over him, so he was free to choose whoever he wanted. Why would he choose you?

Also, you had no good reason to go over and talk to him. The only chance you had, you blew it. You still cringe at yourself at night when you remember that moment. In your first days of high school, you had no friends and you just started learning to play guitar. When you tried to leave the music room that day, you ran into a tall boy with pink hair, perfect black eyebrows that indicated the true color of his hair, piercings decorating his ears, a pointy nose and a magnificent athletic body. Everything about him could catch anyone's attention but his most striking feature was his beautiful eyes with heterochromia, his left eye was green and the right; red. You were a moth and he was an RGB lightbulb that demanded your attention.

You stood paralyzed infront of him. You clutched your music sheet notebook to your chest in nervousness. He was way too attractive and you didn't know how to feel about it. You tried to greet him but only stutters came out of your mouth. It was true that you weren't good at starting conversations but you had never been at a loss for words.

"Can you move? I want to get in," he asked while looking at you as if you were an inferior being.

"Ah... Yes-s, I'm s-sorry." You couldn't help your stutter as you stepped aside so he could enter the room. The Adonis didn't say anything else, but your eyes were still glued on him. The boy saw you watching him without shame.

"Can I help you with something?" He asked directly. You quickly shook your head and ran out of the room. “You are so stupid, you made yourself look like you have never seen a man!” You thought embarrassed as you felt your face getting hot. This was definitely your canon event.

One day, Rhaast sent you an ad. Riot was hosting a promotional convention for players at the capital at the end of the month.

@Rhaast: You goin'?

You: Maybe, sounds good.

@Rhaast: Let me know if you goin'.

You: Are you?

@Rhaast: If you go, I'll go.

You: K.

Thus the days passed until the day of the event arrived. You got ready with your best clothes: A K/DA sweatshirt, freshly washed pants, and the least dirty sneakers you had. You left your apartment nervously to finally touch some grass and meet your friend in real life. After a tedious subway ride, you arrived at the convention center where the event was taking place.

You: I'm here. Where are you?

@Rhaast: Wait for me at the entrance. I'm almost there.

You saw that there were several people waiting for their respective friends at the entrance, so you decided to stay in that area. You waited patiently while playing on your phone until you heard some girls next to you get excited.

"Look, it's Kayn, he looks so good!" They whisper to each other. You looked up quickly when you heard that name and, sure enough, the Adonis was there. “What is Kayn doing here?!” you thought as you tried to hide behind your phone as if you pretended he wasn't there, but your eyes traveled quickly between the screen and him. He was wearing a black crop with a jacket on top, tight pants and silver chains on his neck, fingers and waist. “Oh no, he's hot!” You thought nervously, wanting to run away. Your heart wasn't taking it.

You felt envious when the girls next to you didn't hesitate to approach him. Seeing the confidence they had to greet and talk to him, you felt that they had already known each other before. “I wish I could do that,” you thought.

"I didn't know you played League." One of the girls commented.

"I don´t play much," Kayn answered without taking much notice. Looking cool as heck.

"Are you here alone?" The other girl asked.

"Well, I'm meeting with a friend. I'll call her, " he said while searching for his friend's contact on his phone.

*Incoming call from Rhaast*

Out of nowhere, your phone started ringing from an incoming call on Discord. It was Rhaast. “No way,” you thought as you looked at Kayn and your cell phone simultaneously. “No, this must be a coincidence” you thought before answering.

"I'm here, where are you?" Your knees felt weak as Kayn spoke the words he was hearing over the phone. “Kayn is Rhaast?!” you thought in disbelief.

Kayn quickly found you and your eyes met. The last time that happened was a year ago. You knew Rhaast for over two years. That meant that Kayn, the cutest boy in school, had heard your horrible jokes, your fangirl screams when you saw Faker at almost every World Cup, and your burps for two years. You wanted the earth to swallow you whole at that moment.

"Oh, there she is. See ya," he hung up the call and said goodbye to his friends. He approached you while you were dying internally. You were lucky a wall was holding you up because you were sure you were going to pass out at any moment. “Breathe, maybe he doesn't remember you,” you thought.

"Hey! Why didn't you tell me we went to the same school, snake girl?" he joked. You covered your face in shame with your hands. “He does remember!” You thought, defeated. You still didn't believe that Kayn was still talking to you.

"Shut up, Rhaast… I mean, Kayn." You said, pulling your face out of its hiding spot. Kayn smiled, looking at your blushing cheeks.

"So you know me," he said confidently.

"How can I not know you? My classmates can't stop talking about you," you said defensively.

"I don't mean that," he said as he brought his face closer to yours. You backed up as far as the wall would allow you.

"Just look at you, you're crazy for me." He mocked in a flirting way. You couldn't help but to blush once again.

He was right, not only did he caught your eye, you liked him. You liked him more than you thought. Not because he was the popular Kayn, who is in a band and all the girls fight over him, but because he was also Rhaast. The one guy who laughed at your horrible jokes, the one who didn't criticize you every time you screamed when you saw Faker and burped when you did to match your energy.

"Ha! Says the guy that I always carry,” you mocked him back. Kayn laughed. That laugh that made you feel better in the small corner of your room.

"That's my girl!" He said before taking your hand. You blushed at the unexpectedly intimate act. His hand gently squeezed yours to guide you to the convention entrance.

You spent the whole afternoon chatting and spending all your money on merchandise. You got to know Kayn better than you ever thought. He was a little bit blunt, but nicer than you pictured. It was like you were seeing the other side of Rhaast. Kayn also got to know you on another level when you started to feel comfortable around him. You were a girl with whom he could see himself talking for many hours everyday without getting bored, something he had not felt with anyone else.

You and Kayn said goodbye to a wonderful day together. Both felt their hearts beating like crazy for each other. You had spent the entire day together but you still missed each other once you parted ways. You arrived home and then threw yourself on the bed to start screaming about the exciting day you just had. You had finally talked to Kayn and he seemed to like you. And boy did he like you...

The next day, another school day had ended, so you decided to go to the music room. On your way, you saw Kayn and his friends heading towards the exit. Finally, you got the courage to do something you've always wanted to do.

"Hey, Kayn!" You called him from your place. He turned around to see you among the other students passing by in the hallway.

"Wanna play later?" You asked, blushing lightly for attracting his attention. His friends began to tease him that a girl was talking to him that way, but he didn't care. Kayn smiled as he saw you standing there, blushing but determined.

"You know I do!" He said before turning around and getting back with his friends. You smiled. Maybe he wouldn't have chosen you before, but now you had a chance.

Masterlist.

#kayn #heartsteel #heartsteel kayn #league of legends #fluff #fanfiction #fic #rhaast #fanfic #modern au #high school #high school au #kayn league of legends #zed #x reader #kayn x reader #kayn lol #shieda kayn

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daretolovemyrambling · 6 months ago

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Runeterra Multiverse PART 1

In Arcane we are introduced to two alternative timelines in episode 2x7, the worst timeline and the the best timeline, but this isn't a new concept to Riot, their business model is selling skins of their Champions, usually by giving them new outfits and lore in an alternative Universe.

Today I want to introduce you to some of those interesting Universes, who knows, maybe they even scratch a creative itch and you are inspired to create a fanwork or make headcanons ;).

It's nice to see some universes that aren't extremly traumatic like arcane...

1. VALORAN TOWN

Valoran Town is a modern au of the Runeterra Universe, the chinese branch of Riot released a mini series last year that follows Lux, a rich young girl, as she moves to Valoran Town to escape her overbearing brother, Garen. She becomes the roomate of her best friend Jinx and various other Champions like Ezrael and Miss Fortune.

There is even an Ekko cameo in one of the episodes! It's a fun watch and has a very short runetime, I highly recommend it if you want to see a happy Jinx. No prior League knowledge is needed as it's a modern au. I noticed some Arcane references in the background as well!

I don't think there is an english dub, but someone subbed it in english on youtube:

2. STAR GUARDIAN AU

Star Guardian is another modern au of the Runeterra Universe, this time set in Valoran City. It follows a group of highschoolers as they become cosmic protectors and fight enemies that threaten their Universe. Yes, this is quite literally a magical girl au. I love it so much.

In case you were wondering, yes, there is a magicial girl Jinx!

There are quite a lot of animatics and Star Guardians has many different skin lines, so here is a youtube playlist:

3. K/DA

Likely the most well known League AU, so well known in fact, that a lot of people don't even realize it's related to League. K/DA is a virtual band and kpop AU of several League characters.

Here is a playlist of all their songs:

4. ODYSSEY AU

Odyssey is an AU set in space. It kind of gives me Guardians of the Galaxy vibes. Various groups are in pursuit of ora—a mysterious golden essence that serves as the lifeblood of all civilization, and promises untold power to those who can wield it for themselves. One Crew that will be especially interesting for us Arcane viewers, is the Morning Star Crew, a ragtag group that is also searching for Ora. There is a familiar face on the crew, their pilot, Jinx.

Here is a fun animatic to go along with it:

youtube

5. <3 AU

The <3 AU is an alternative Universe of Caitvi, Cait is part of the Heartthrob Clique and Vi is part of the Heartache Clan. The two groups are opposites of eachother, but the two students seem to have taken a liking to eachother. In a mini game named Cupcakes 4 Heartaches Cait bakes her secret Cupcake recipe with the help of Vi.

They even wrote letters adressed at eachother:

I hate the way you walk around, like you're Princess Caitlyn of the mall, and I'm just some gutter rat. I hate the way you look at me when there's no one else around, but wouldn't be caught dead with me in town. Maybe our whole thing was just a huge mistake. So if you want me to go, I'm gone. But ask, and I will stay. -Vi

Shall I compare you to a rose? Your spikes like thorns against my side. Like a vine, you've coiled through my dreams, trellising my mind. Wild like the violets that thrive beyond the garden's bounds; Life's simply better now that you're around. Will you go to the dance with me? XOXO, Caitlyn

6. PULSEFIRE

Pulsefire is set in a dystopian future, after discovering time travel several champions are chased by chrono-enforcers through time and space and take their technology with them. There is an alternative version of Cait who is such a chrono-law enforcer, she is feared in all sorts of eras. Ekko is one of the fugitives, in a companion story he crashes in the hide-out of his (boy)friend Ezrael. (yeah, their relationship is censored sadly. If you pick up vibes while reading this story, it was on purpose)

You can read it here:

I will probably post a part 2 soon, but I have to read more into all these other universes before I start to write another part!

#arcane #arcane au #arcane league of legends #caitvi #timebomb #arcane ekko #ekko arcane #arcane jinx #jinx arcane #jinx #caitlyn kiramman #vi arcane #arcane vi #cait kiramman #piltover's finest #maybe useful for fic writers #dare's rambles

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flowerandblood · 2 years ago

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The Prince and The Fox (3)

[ modern! • Aemond x friend! • female ]

[ warnings: kissing, mention of sexual abuse, violence, trauma ]

[ description: After the events of her childhood, despite her best efforts, her neighbor and the younger brother of her friend Helaena, Aemond, does not want to know her. This state lasts until a house party organized by his older brother, Aegon, during which an incident occurs that will change their relationship forever. Slow burn, angst, toxic ex-Alys, rough Aemond. This is several anon requests combined into one fic. ]

WARNING: The main plot between the characters takes place in high school. Yes, in high school. The belief that teenagers wait with an intimacy when they are in love in high school is ridiculous to me. Aemond and the character here are the same age. Don't ask me how old they are, in my country you are of the age of consent in your first year of high school and an adult in the last year of high school, so if it is more convenient for you, think about it that way and decide for yourself. In this story, I am not following the trail that they are magically friends right away, but how they become friends and what that even means. I'm writing this fic to give the perspective of young, lost people, not adult women who want to see exactly themselves in everything they read. If that's all you expect, this isn't the fic for you.

I don't want whining about this in my comments or asks. I will delete these and block you. You have been warned. Aemond + Evans Series Moodboard

This is my first story that has its own playlist, but yes! Get in the mood! Story Music Playlist. Song used in this chapter: Don't Bring Me Down by Electric Light Orchestra.

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

From that day on, they both took off their earphones when they stood together at the bus stop. Her presence had apparently stopped being awkward for him and he had become addicted to listening to Kajagoogoo, although he admitted it reluctantly.

"They have a terrible band name, but that bass is fucking awesome. They got really into my head and it's good to listen to them in the background while doing something else at the same time." He muttered, without looking at her, scrolling something on his phone.

She knew this was his way of distracting himself from the stress of the conversation, that he wasn't good at it and pretended to be indifferent, his lips tightened.

Since the whole thing reached the headmaster of the school the matter became very serious and Cregan was not laughing anymore. The headmaster became very concerned about the whole situation and even though it was not the school where the sexual abuse took place, bullying did.

On the corridor cameras, Cregan could be seen knocking her over by propping her up with his leg, as one of his buddies scratched the word 'liar' with his key on her locker.

Although these were not crimes for which you could go to jail, the principal invited her to an interview accompanied by the school psychologist. The headmaster asked her if she wanted someone to accompany her during this talk and she said without thinking: Aemond.

She surprised him when she asked him to go with her to his office, he was the only one to witness it all and she was afraid to be there alone. He just nodded and answered nothing, clicking something on his phone, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

They went there together.

The director approached the matter with understanding and quoted to her what he had heard the day before from Aemond.

"Your colleague told me that he witnessed the incident and that there is video footage of what happened. I also know that Cregan's classmates nag you a lot because they prefer to believe him. The psychologist and I thought that, if you agree, we would give his class some shock therapy and show them the part of the video that shows him hurting you.

Of course, we will only do this if you agree, however, we believe that if Mr Stark loses his credibility, you will regain your composure and be able to focus on your education rather than the unpleasant incidents you continue to face from them. We know that the footage shows nothing of which you would be ashamed, nor of course your exposed body." He concluded, glancing uncertainly at the lady psychologist.

She didn't know what to say, she could feel her heart pounding hard.

"Think it over calmly. It's just a suggestion and you don't have to do it. We want to help you and we know it's hard for you." Said the psychologist in a soft, calm voice.

She looked apprehensively at Aemond, who was staring at her out of the corner of his eye with his lips tightened, himself clearly not sure what he was thinking.

"It's your decision. You don't have to do it. But I think this bugger deserves it. He walks around the school like a king, he thinks you don't have the guts to show it. That you'll be embarrassed when he's the one who should be ashamed of himself." He said lowly, and she thought with pain that he was right.

Why should he spread rumours about her, lie that she wanted this?

"Fine." She mumbled, the headmaster sighed quietly.

"Do you want to be there when we show them this?" He asked lowly, and she shook her head quickly.

"No."

She delivered an excerpt of the video to the director that next day. He and the lady psychologist watched it to make sure that the video would not portray her in a negative light and make matters worse, but what they saw left no illusions.

She knew that the headmaster would go to Cregan's class with the psychologist at their advisory class and throughout the day she felt like she was going to die, her whole body was trembling, she hadn't eaten anything and she was cold.

As she sat during one of the breaks outside the classroom, staring dully at the floor Aemond sat down next to her and sighed, taking out of his pocket her favourite chocolate bar, Milkyway, which he must have bought from the school vending machine. She looked at him gratefully and shook her head.

"Have you eaten anything today?" He asked lowly and she shook her head again, lowering her gaze.

"I won't swallow anything. My stomach has been hurting since this morning."

"Hmm."

They sat side by side like that, their shoulders and knees touching, not speaking until the bell rang announcing that the break was over.

They sat down to their benches, the teacher came in, but she couldn't concentrate on what he was saying, terrified.

Everyone was watching it now.

She covered her face with her hands, thinking that she had made a mistake, that it would get worse.

However, to her surprise, as she walked out of the classroom she was approached by several people from his class who had also thrown unpleasant comments at her earlier, including his buddy, who shouted to her and Aemond at the time whether they were going to go fuck.

They stood for a moment as if they didn't know what to say.

"Hi. We saw the video. I…fuck." Said the boy, scratching his brow with his thumb, pale, embarrassed, horrified. "I…I really believed him. I swear to you I would never have suspected he was capable of such a thing. When I watched you pull away from him and he wouldn't let you go…fuck, a red light should have lit up in my head earlier as he said he was going to fuck you, but I thought, I don't know, that's what you want, that you're into him, not that…"

He stammered, all red, she could see he was barely holding back tears. He shrugged his shoulders.

"And yet I acted like a stupid piece of shit to you. Then, after all of that. I believed my mate, I thought I knew him." He said without looking at her, his other colleagues nodding.

"We're ashamed. He walked around talking about it as if nothing had happened, as if it was just your imagination. He cried in class as the principal came in and said what he was going to show us. I think he realised he was going to lose a lot of friends."

She looked at them all with her heart beating hard, scared and ashamed at the same time, not knowing what she should say to them.

Most of all, however, she felt relieved.

They had finally left her alone.

If she could consider that something good had come out of all this, it was certainly her relationship with Aemond. They only talked on the bus or while waiting for him at the bus stop, usually about school, teachers, homework, or music.

He played her songs on his earphones when she asked him if he could recommend something new to her, however, he always listened to Kajagoogoo with her on the way to school.

She liked the fact that this had already become their routine, something they shared, proof that they had established a bond, this time unforced, desired from both sides.

She found to her surprise that he was actually a very sensitive, calm man.

She really liked him.

Helaena was very concerned about all that had happened, and wrote to her often to find out how she was feeling. She didn't want to impose on her and didn't visit her at home.

However, one day she asked if she would like to stay with her for the night and sleep in her room, talk about everything that was on her mind and then watch Shrek together or another cartoon they loved as children.

She thought it was a good idea.

She arrived at the appointed time in the evening, Alicent opened the door, smiling warmly and embracing her.

Since the situation with Cregan it seemed that their families had become closer, her parents were extremely grateful to Aemond for what he had done and always greeted him when they saw him on the street or in the shop, embarrassing him.

She saw Helaena run out from over her shoulder and wave to her, holding two bags of their favourite Chips and a carton of orange juice.

Walking towards the stairs she swallowed loudly as she saw the exit to the garden, feeling an unpleasant tightening in her pit and a cold sweat on her back.

She squealed when suddenly Vhagar ran out at them from upstairs, wagging her tail and barking, happy that they had a visitor, almost knocking her over.

"Vhagar!" She heard his impatient, low voice. "Come back here! Immediately."

Vhagar ran up to him, looking at him with her big, pleading black eyes, and he sighed as he stroked her fur. She smiled at him as she passed him, they threw each other a brief, shy 'hi' before she disappeared with Helaena into her room.

Although she didn't want to at first, she felt she had to get it out of her, that she couldn't take it anymore, that it was poisoning her from the inside.

They were both sitting in their pyjamas, T-shirts and shorts on her carpet, a bowl full of crisps and two glasses full of juice between them.

"At first when he touched my thigh I thought − gee, maybe he really likes me that much that he can't stop, I don't know. I felt, I sensed something was wrong and I'm mad that I didn't push him away then! I went outside with him because I thought maybe I don't know, he wants to sit with me in an embrace, stroke me, hold my hand, kiss me. And when he slipped his hand under my dress, when he squeezed me, when he wouldn't let me move or pull away I felt…" She stammered, feeling her voice break, her throat tighten, tears gather in her eyes.

"…God, I just felt that I was very afraid of him, that it was very bad and terrible, that I didn't want it, that he was hurting me, that it was such a bad touch, I don't know how to describe it." She mumbled, Helaena looking at her with her lips slightly parted, her eyebrows arched in pain, her light hair tied up in a bun.

"It felt like I couldn't breathe, it felt like I wanted to scream, like someone was skinning me, it's this feeling of sudden panic, but also something else, like deep in your lower abdomen, this all-consuming fear and terror, like the air is stuck in your throat and you can't catch your breath." She muttered quickly, shaking her head, refusing to let the tears flow, her lips tightening.

"I don't know how he can think it's nothing. To live with the fact that I asked him to stop and he didn't." She shrugged her shoulders, Helaena got up and sat beside her, embracing her, letting her lie on her thighs.

She burst into tears when she started to stroke her head, when she told her that it wasn't her fault and that no one blamed her, that just because she hadn't pushed him away at first didn't mean he had the right to do what he did, that he had done it deliberately and premeditatedly, that no meant no.

She shuddered and lifted her gaze when she heard movement near her room, as if someone had moved out of place, and then the quiet sound of a door opening and closing.

Was he listening to what she was talking about? Was he eavesdropping on them?

She pressed her lips together, lowering her head, feeling ashamed.

She said she would go to the toilet to bring herself to order, but in fact she went to his door, hearing from it the song he had shown her a few days before, 'Don't Bring Me Down' played by the Electric Light Orchestra.

She knocked loudly and heard that after a moment the music quieted, someone's footsteps on the other side.

He opened the door and looked at her in surprise, involuntarily glancing down at her bare legs and then at her face again, swallowing loudly.

"Were you eavesdropping?" She asked reproachfully.

He pressed his lips together, looking away.

"Yeah. I'm sorry." He said low with sincere regret. "I wanted to know how you were feeling. How you're coping with it."

"Can't you just ask me?" She said regretfully, looking at him with her eyebrows arched in pain, feeling the tears under her eyelids again, emotionally unhinged from what she had recounted.

He looked at her surprised, she could see that he was uncomfortable. He let out a loud breath.

"I'm not good at this. At talking. I didn't know if I should ask. Whether it was the right thing to do. I don't know what more I could say." He muttered, shrugging his shoulders, looking everywhere but at her.

"You can ask me anything you want. I trust you." She said softly, and he swallowed loudly, as if for some reason her words caused him pain, as if he wanted to say something more, as if he had something on the tip of his tongue.

She waited patiently for him to pull himself together, for him to think through what he wanted to say. He looked at her.

"I hated you all these years. I hated you because I saw you as a person who does everything for show. For show you baked me cakes to make you feel good about yourself, for show you came here and apologised to me, always loud, always first everywhere, you always had to have your opinion about everything." He said low and fast, and she felt the cold sweat on her back and the frighteningly strong pounding of her heart as she looked at him in disbelief.

"When I heard what Cregan said to his mates I thought I should warn you. To say: be careful, he's planning something more, he's talking about you to his mates as if you were an object. But I didn't. Because I didn't like you." He muttered and she saw his lower lip tremble, his healthy eye red, his breath hitched.

"If I told you, it wouldn't have happened. Do you know how I have you saved on my phone?" He asked in a trembling voice, a single tear running down his cheek.

"Foxy."

She felt tear after tear begin to run down her face, she drew in air loudly feeling tightness in her throat, she felt like someone was tearing her heart from the inside out, a strange, broken sound came from her chest.

"Please, hug me." She mumbled so pitifully that his face contorted in a grimace of pain and regret, he pulled her to him instantly and she clamped her hands on the material of his Tshirt, sobbing loudly, his arms wrapped around her tightly on each side.

"− I'm sorry −" He muttered in a low, hoarse, breaking voice. "− I'm sorry −"

She lifted her gaze to him, trying to catch her breath, and he lowered his head to look at her, their faces almost touching, their hot breaths surrounding their skin.

She felt something strange looking at him so closely, she thought he had a lovely eye colour, that he had fine cheekbones, a pleasing nose and forehead. Something changed in his gaze when he noticed that she glanced at his lips and found them surprisingly full, they looked soft, slightly parted in his accelerated breathing.

She felt his body tense up, felt his fingers clench tighter on her back. All she could hear was the loud pounding of her heart and their breaths, nothing more.

"− wanna kiss? −" She heard him whisper, as if it was a kind of casual proposal, as if he was asking her if she felt like eating something or going for a walk.

She swallowed loudly, glancing at him again, and simply nodded.

She didn't have time to take another breath and his warm, soft lips were already on hers, she felt his hand on the back of her neck which drew her close, making his job easier, he sighed as if with some kind of relief.

She had never suspected that kisses were so wet and sticky, so noisy, but she didn't want him to stop, so she stroked his scarred cheek with her hand, closing her eyes, mimicking his movements, brushing her lips against his with a loud click.

She tightened her second hand in his short, light hair, feeling the heat in her lower abdomen, feeling the pulsation between her thighs, his lips wonderfully soft, moist and firm, he brushed and sucked her fleshy skin, their breaths loud and drawn out.

"− fuck −" He growled out between one loud click of saliva and the next, panting along with her, their kisses increasingly deep, intimate, passionate and wet.

They pulled away from each other suddenly, breathing as if they had run a marathon, looking at each other in disbelief.

"− I − are you all right? −" He mumbled, his healthy eye wide open in panic.

She just nodded, feeling that she looked just like him. She moved away from him and he let her go immediately, running his hand over his mouth and chin in a gesture of disbelief.

"− I − fuck −" He muttered and they both gasped when they heard the sound of the door opening, Helaena leaned her head out, clearly worried that she hadn't been back for so long.

"− are you okay? −" She asked loudly, surprised, and she nodded, looking up at him with her heart pounding like mad, swallowing hard.

"− y-yes − I − I am coming −" She muttered and ran towards her, Helaena smiled at her and closed the door behind her.

She said she had already found Shrek online on her laptop and everything was ready to watch. She smiled and sat down on her bed next to her, trying to focus on what she was seeing, but her thoughts, as well as her heart, were with someone else, a few rooms away.

They kissed.

Good God.

An excellent start to a friendly relationship indeed.

_____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes

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jokeroutsubs · 4 months ago

Text

[ENG SUB] Joker Out's album premiere reportage on Val 202 (14.11.2024)

On the 14th of November 2024 Joker Out presented their third studio album 'Souvenir Pop' for an early-listening party with Val 202's host Andrej Karoli and 50 chosen fans. In this reportage, fans share their favourite lines and first impressions about the new songs, while Joker Out say what touched them the most.

The original audio can be found on Val 202's website.

Transcript and translation by @chaosofsmarty, review by drumbeat, proofread by @flowerlotus8, subtitles by @vesdagrem

Translated into:

🇷🇸 Serbian by IG marija_rocen

🇮🇹 Italian by @vesdagrem

📝Full transcript and video below the cut! 👇

youtube

❗If you are quoting the transcript below, make sure to properly credit by linking back to this Tumblr post!

Transcript:

‘Novi val’ intro

Fan: I think the first song I heard was 'Gola' on a random Spotify playlist. And I was like "Okay, it's some Slovenian band, I guess, okay" and then there was more Joker Out in the playlist, and more and more, and now we're here.

Fan: My favourite line is from 'Metulji' "Za roko te držim, a se ne dotikava".

Fan: I have a tattoo, so it's "kupim karto do vesolja, če zemlja pregori".

Fan: Mine is maybe "Igra sovraštva je za vas, hvala lepa, ne računajte na nas" because it's, I feel like, a deep message in a pop song.

‘Novi val’ snippet

Bojan: There we go.

‘Novi val’ snippet

Fan: I can't wait to hear the other songs, because currently the ones we know are really good, so... I can't wait.

Fan: I'm also very excited and... yeah, I'm looking forward to the new songs. The first experience of this sort, to be able to hang out with musicians, who are also known around the globe. So I'm very happy about this. I really like that we can have experiences like this within Slovenia, or opportunities, where it can happen. And yeah, I'm very excited.

‘Novi val’ snippet

Bojan: Thank you very much!

From the release of their previous album, 'Demoni', 806 days have passed. After several months away touring abroad, they've now returned to their local audience with a new album 'Souvenir Pop'. Last night, approximately 50 of Joker Out's biggest fans heard the premiere of five songs from their album, with the most dedicated already knew the lyrics. Bojan Cvjetićanin:

Bojan: I really enjoyed watching how, with the songs that have a very unexpected plot twist, the plot twist looks on someone's face. That was actually my favourite part. I also saw a few tears, which was beautiful.

Jure: It was especially nice to see that people already knew the lyrics, and were already singing along to them.

Bojan: A few of them, A few of them, we have to tell you why, used a VPN and went to countries in a timezone...

Jure: That's it.

Bojan: where the album was already out, so we saw, a couple were singing all the lyrics and we were like "how come?"

Jure: "Where did they get them from?", “Were we hacked?”

Bojan: “Did we leak them?”

Reporter: Truly truly dedicated and resourceful fans.

Bojan: Yes, very. very, very, very, very. Always have been.

The album is a mixture of both languages and genres, and the first song was, despite the more serious theme, a favourite for some.

Andrej Karoli: I had the honour, and took the right to pick the order in which the new songs will be played. And before the first, I just want to say that all the band members said "Why?" The title is 'Sonce'.

‘Sonce’ intro

Bojan: Yeah, 'Sonce' is a story where a son after his passing speaks to his mother back in the land of the living. It was directly inspired by the current situation in Palestine.

‘Sonce’ snippet

Fan: Yes, 'Sonce' is definitely a tear jerker, I know it was created because of the war in Palestine, I myself work with orphans from Ukraine, who came to us because of the war, and I really feel, like it embodies all these children's feelings, who are maybe two to three years old, and they've already lost their parents and had to move to a completely different country, and there's still a war raging in their home country.

‘Sonce’ snippet

Fan: I was really touched, maybe also because of the fact it was the first song played. And I was really like "Wow, this is really music!"

Reporter: In what way did it speak to you, what did you think of when you listened to it?

Fan: Maybe really about the situation that's going on, how it's unfair and nonsensical, in a way, and I'm very happy that Joker Out decided to speak out about it, put it into music and yeah...

‘Sonce’ snippet

Reporter: What was your favourite song and why?

Fan: 'Sonce'. I don't know, it's really from... the heart. Yeah.

Reporter: Were there any tears?

Fan: Yes, of course. At the start of... of... of...

Reporter: Hard to describe, right?

Fan: Difficult, yeah, you can't, sorry...

‘Sonce’ outro

Bojan: I think that our fans, people who listen to us, generally think in a very similar if not the same direction as we do, so I think it's not the target audience that wouldn't be emphathetic enough or that wouldn't be able to hear these messages in the way they were meant to. There's been plenty of sociocritical, plenty of calls for help written, from much more famous names than we are, with a lot more listeners, and we see where we are today. So... while I think that you should never give up, it's hard to get to those who aren't even willing to hear the message.

An evergrowing fanbase is a source of inspiration and motivation to the band for future creating, especially when the most honest, but unfortunately not always the brightest moments happen. Kris Guštin:

Kris: Right now I can think of maybe not one moment, but a few of these moments, where some listeners have come to say that we've helped them a lot during a very difficult time. I know that it was even said once or twice that they thought they wouldn't be here anymore if they hadn't found our music. So that stays with a person, I think. And... I find it nice everytime, it's really beautiful to hear that each time.

The language of love isn't just French, it's also Slovenian, English and Croatian, said Bojan Cvjetićanin at the presentation. The song that was most musically and lyrically exciting to the listeners is nostalgic, titled 'Muzika za decu'.

Andrej Karoli: And now, my almost favourite, all of us are someone's children. Joker Out, 'Souvenir Pop'. 'Muzika za decu'.

‘Muzika za decu’ snippet

Fan: I literally only thought about Cvetka¹ and how I'll just be jumping and screaming there and yeah, I can't wait to finally be at their concert again, like I've already told them, Slovenia loves you loads and misses you.

¹Cvetličarna venue in Ljubljana.

‘Muzika za decu’ snippet

Fan: Rock-and-roll. There.

Fan: I feel like it's going to be a fan favourite.

Fan: 'Muzika za decu', because it's so very... I feel like I can just scream along to it, and yell all my emotions out.

‘Muzika za decu’ snippet

Fan: I'm a teacher and I actually care for the next generations, and I feel like it's really a song of "Don't worry too much, it'll be okay, we've got this, we've got the power, don't stress too much, we are who we are".

‘Muzika za decu’ snippet

Fan: I was listening to the lyrics, I tried to focus on every word, I feel like it's because they make fun of Joker Out as a boyband for children, with their nine year old fans and their mothers behind them, and they made the most rock'n'roll, hyped up, hardcore sounding song possible about how this is supposedly music for children. What a move. Genius.

‘Muzika za decu’ snippet

Fan: An awesome experience, I'd definitely do it again, thank you.

Fan: I can't describe it, just... I like the album, it exceeded expectations.

Fan: They promised they'd surprise us, which they definitely did, but it still has the feeling of being Joker Out. Because it's a true reflection of them, and they are themselves. They aren't fake, they're real.

‘Muzika za decu’

Reporter: Mojca Jevšek collected the impressions of yesterday's 'Souvenir Pop' album presentation, which is already available on all music platforms. For this sunny Friday outside we'll now enjoy a previously mentioned bit of energetic nostalgia from it, 'Muzika za decu' and... And Joker Out.

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drizzleoftherain · 5 months ago

Text

Liturgia

Chapter 1: La Corriente Que Nace De Esta Fuente

Pairing: Ava Silva & Beatrice

Ao3

Author's note: This story wouldn’t let me live my life so I guess it had to be done. There’s a playlist and a mood-board. I’m tired now and will sleep.

Beatrice would swear upon her death bed that meeting Ava that day was not in any way shape or form a monumental deviation in her life plans.

Had this moment in time been a carefully calculated move? No. This had been simple dumb luck and it horrified her. One moment they were being ignored at dingy small gigs and suddenly they were performing at Lollapalooza. Beatrice couldn’t even begin to understand what 110,000 people looked like. Much less hearing them sing back their music, the songs that she had carefully written and slaved over for years. And here they were, expected to just pretend like that was normal. Like it was just a regular day. She was sure she needed therapy. And a new manager. Definitely a new manager. Lilith needed a haircut. Did they all need haircuts?

Her mind spiraled.

All in good time.

The green room was stuffy and the air felt heavy with anxiety and pre-show jitters that shouldn’t still be happening or at least this intensely. Thoughts went back to that crowd and fear started to bubble again. She looked to her fellow bandmates, each going through their routines, and her lips curved with a small smile that she hoped would calm their nerves.

They were set to appear as one of two musical guests, not something she recalls happening often, but unavoidable given a last minute scheduling conflict and countless apologies from The Graham Norton Show production team.

They were The Cruciforms, England’s biggest rock band since The Beatles, or she would tell her grandmother that if ever asked. Silly little hobby and all. Their EP had sold inexplicably well, well enough that eyes were on them, many eyes and they had been ill prepared. The amount of attention in itself was difficult to explain, it was as if overnight everything had fallen into place, but not. The music industry was messy, confusing and borderline psychotic.

“Do you think she’ll be nice?” Camila’s voice cut through her thoughts.

“Who?”

A unanimous groan stretched throughout the cramped room.

Right.

Ava.

The other musical guest.

“Do you think we’ll ever get a chance to print our vinyls at the rate she’s going?” Lilith spoke up, hair in her face. She definitely needed thera— wait no she needed a haircut, but also therapy.

Mary rubbed her forehead knowing full well where the topic was heading. “Don’t start, you’ll just get Beatrice going on a rant again.”

“I don’t know how much longer I can put up with musical statistics and artistic integrity.” Lilith stood from the couch and walked to the heavily lit mirror in an attempt to tame her unruly hair.

Beatrice scoffed, feeling slightly validated by Lilith’s comment. “I mean honestly out of everyone that could have possibly come today and overshadow us it had to be her. Does she even have to do this anymore?”

“Careful, your inner brat is showing.”

“When you’re in the party bum-bum-bumping’ that beat!” Camila sprung up, triggered.

“Oh God no.”

“That sewer sluts a vibe!

Internationally recognised!

I set the tone, it’s my design and it’s stuck in your—”

Beatrice moved as fast as she could. One squeal later and Camila was restrained. She stared up, breathing through her nose as Beatrice’s hands held her mouth shut. The couch underneath them protested with the sudden movement.

“It has been a great year for pop music. I've gone back several months and can safely say we’re finally out of the dark ages that were the early 2010’s.” Yasmine, who had been rather occupied with her phone, spoke up. She was nose deep tracking charts or plotting to take them down. One or the other. Or both. “It’s not all Ava’s fault. Though her tactics are a bit questionable and borderline exploitative.”

“See! Yasmine agrees. She has over-capitalised music and for what. Is it any good? Probably not, just some over-produced crap that will sound dated—aaaaahhh!” Camila bit her. Actually bit her. “You bit me!”

Camila had managed to squeeze her way out of Beatrice’s grasp. “How dare you speak about our lord and saviour like this.”

“She’s clearly only popular because of all the features she has managed to grab.” Beatrice continued her tirade, rubbing her hand in soothing patterns. “That and the radio won’t stop playing her.”

Mary stared at Beatrice, patience clearly gone. “Okay, you’re starting to sound like a Reddit basement dweller. I have heard her albums, they’re great, she’s talented.” Her eyes bore into hers like an older sibling would to a misbehaving little sister. “Is it my cup of tea? No. I don’t drink tea, but I can at least admit she works hard.”

“You said you wouldn’t.” Beatrice wasn’t petulant, but they had agreed not to listen to the top 100, which meant Ava was off limits. Or at least she thought they had all agreed. Clearly Camila was a filthy liar and now Mary too.

“I’m quite partial to Malamente .”

“No, Lilith, not you too.”

“What about Bagdad ?” Yasmine perked up, suddenly very interested in the conversation being had. “The interpolation of the choir and Justin Timberlake’s ‘ Cry Me A River ’ is brilliant.”

Beatrice sat defeated. The betrayal. They shared meals together.

She was already thinking of ways to make them suffer during practice. They were only listening to greats from now on or so help her God. They can’t squander it, this opportunity only comes once in a lifetime and they were going to focus. She would plan their listening schedule; Bob Dylan, Bowie, good old Simon & Garfunkel, aaaaaaand she was boring herself. Bananarama…what. Too much.

Knock- knock knock- knock

“It’s probably Vincent.” Lilith had somehow constructed her hair into a braid, who thought she had it her.

“Useless,” Beatrice muttered, putting some distance between herself and the door. She knew whatever news he was bringing was going to age her in seconds. They truly needed a new manager.

It was Camila who stood to answer.

“ Hi ”

Camila slammed the door shut. The Earth spun just a little faster.

The girls all stared as she stood perfectly still, back to the door in a state of complete panic. “It’s…it’s…” she stuttered, with full blown realisation.

“Who is it?”

“Vincent?”

“No.”

“Graham?”

“No.”

“Ava?”

Camilla raised her hands to her mouth and nose nodding slowly, “…yes”.

Mary basically pried her bandmate off the door. “Woman, for crying out loud let your fellow countryperson in.”

The door opened and there she was. Hands behind her back, with a smile that could probably make someone trip on a busy city street. And they were all staring.

Thud

Yasmine’s phone hit the floor and all eyes followed the movement as she scrambled to pick it up. All except for Beatrice who had for a second forgotten herself. An indescribable force. Ava was or looked younger than she was expecting. She wore an oversized white t-shirt tucked into her jeans, hair in a messy bun and no makeup to speak of. Beatrice breathed in once and looked down as if struck, but couldn’t resist a second glance. Brown eyes met hers.

Ava moved forward, awkwardly doing a small wave, “Hi guys…what’s up?”

“The ceiling usually, I mean if there is one, sometimes it could be sky, but I guess…that can also depend on the weather because there’s rain and clouds and pollen and…solar wind patterns can disrupt the Earth’s magnetosphere in a phenomenon we refer to as an Aurora.” Oh no, Yasmine.

Mary nodded along only for a second. “Ava, right? I’m Mary.”

“Hello,” She smiled brightly again, outstretching her hand for Mary to shake.

“I once had a weird dream after listening to ‘ De Aqui No Sales ’.” Beatrice could see Camilla’s mouth moving but could only hope that she had misheard.

“Oh?” Ava chuckled, her voice turned oddly raspy with mischief. “What was it about?”

“I don’t know. It involved my dead dog Mauricio and buñuelos.”

“¿Buñuelos? Me encantan.”

“Si, a mi igual,” Camila chuckled with so much admiration.

“This is Camila, she apologises for slamming the door on your face,” Mary said gently, who apparently had taken it upon herself to be the only normal person in the room. And without any prompting began to go around introducing everyone. “That’s Yasmine and her now very broken phone.” Yasmine half smiled half winced. “The one with the sour face over there is Lilith.” A quick salute. “And this is Bea-”

Beatrice doesn’t know what possessed her to walk across the room, but she found herself in front of Ava with a tentative hand outstretched, “Beatrice.” And the indescribable force was back, negating her own will as their eyes met again. Brown. Kind. Cute laugh lines by her eyes when she smiles.

“Beatrice.” Ava repeated dumbly. “Ava.”

Lilith rolled her eyes, “Oh, we know.”

—

“Ohh! Oh that is lovely!” Graham Norton’s voice resonated over the boisterous studio audience as he made his entrance. He waved his hands, “Hello everyone, hello! Good evening. You’re all so welcome to the show. It is Friday night and like your overpowering mother-in-law, I’m back! We’ve got a great line up to finish up the week with not just one but two musical guests. If you look over there singing for us later we have The Cruciforms , Europe’s latest obsession.”

The crowd erupted into delighted cheers as the girls waved back. They were now all wearing matching form fitting black suits with paired high waisted pants. Thin ties adorned their white button ups.

Yasmine sat behind her drums twirling one of her sticks flawlessly in her left hand, Camila on keys, Mary with a funky bass, Lilith and her guitar remained perfectly still and Beatrice smiled from the center, microphone nearby.

“They’ll be performing their latest single ‘ Stuck ’, but first who are we meeting on my sofa tonight!” Graham spoke enthusiastically as he diverted his attention to the entry leading backstage. “Well this actress has decided to return to familiar shores, and is currently starring in the West End revival of Macbeth, put your hands together for Academy Award winner Olivia Coleman!”

All big smiles as the actress emerged waving at the crowd and giving Graham a warm hug. She took a seat clapping along as the host continued.

“Next up you may know him from this year’s box office hit Dune 2 and upcoming Bob Dylan biopic A Complete Unknown , Mr. Timothée Chalamet!”

Timothée walked through the opening, small moustache and all. He shook Graham's hand before joining Olivia on the sofa.

“And our final guest needs no introduction. She’s our two time Grammy award winning neighbour, back from her record breaking global tour! Ava!”

The cheers somehow got louder as the audience absolutely lost their minds. Ava practically materialised wearing a long sleeved black Schiaparelli ensemble that resembled a matador chaquetilla vest with gold embellishments. Her hair now in long draping curls framed her perfect face. She glowed as the attention consumed her. Graham walked to meet her halfway giving her a big hug before helping her to the sofa.

The show went through its finely structured style for a bit as Graham took several moments discussing everyone’s upcoming projects and accomplishments. They joked and spoke, Timothée and Ava already familiar with each other and Olivia just entranced by the overall energy that had taken over the studio.

“Right! It’s time for music. This band had a great year, they’ve already been announced as The Brit Rising Star for next year. Here performing their current single ‘ Stuck ’ it’s The Cruciforms!”

The audience cheered. The lights dimmed. Lilith’s opening notes queued them in. Yasmine followed. And suddenly they were all bouncing along as the lights focused and vamped up the atmosphere. Beatrice kicked her black chucks along with the beat of the song and reached for the standing mic.

We talk…

Talk ‘til we’re blue in face

The words…

The words don’t resonate

Seasons…

They always seem to stay the same

Holding…on to things we said we would change

Beatrice sang, her voice coming flawlessly through the studio speakers. She glanced at Camila as she sang into the mic joining her for the chorus, keys bouncing up and down under her fingertips.

I’m stuck, babe

Stuck with nowhere to go

Because, babe

We’re just taking it slow

It’s overdue oh oh uh oh oh

Make your move oh oh uh oh oh

Stuck, babe

Stuck with nowhere to go

Their song came to an end and the audience cheered.

“There we go!” Graham joined “The Cruciforms, everybody!”

They waved, smiles all around.

“Come on over girls! Leave those instruments there and join us on the sofa.” They followed his direction, Lilith and Mary handing over their instruments to nearby staff members. They walked the curve of the stage over to the interview area as the other guests stood to greet them. “That was fantastic, thank you so so much.”

Beatrice, the ever stoic leader was first shaking hands with Ava, Timothée and Olivia as Graham introduced all the members by name. The girls followed her lead and quickly everyone was acquainted.

“That is such an ear-worm, truly fantastic job ladies,” Graham took his seat and everyone else followed suit.

“Thank you very much.” Beatrice hoped her voice wouldn’t crack and betray just how nervous she was.

“That single is from your EP, and it’s out now and is a thing of beauty,” He continued the praise leaving all the members shy and bewildered. “How do you all feel after the incredible year you’ve had? ‘ Stuck ’ was the biggest British single of the year.”

Beatrice looked around to her band members as she spoke, “I think we’re all just in a state of shock still, to be perfectly honest. We couldn’t have imagined the amount of traction or how much the song resonated with people.”

The guests nodded along basking in the pure happiness each of the girls was giving off.

Beatrice had just realised just who she sat next to. Ava’s smile was immense as she listened along. “How did it feel listening to the song on the radio for the first time?” She asked, eyes meeting hers.

“I know this is going to sound absurd because surely band members are with each other every second of every day,” Beatrice chuckled, “but we all heard it at different times.”

“It was surreal!” Camila added and everyone nodded in agreement.

“I think you have this idea or this hope for so long… I’m sorry I’m not used to this. I’m nervous.” Beatrice hesitated while taking a breath, the audience laughed.

Ava tapped her leg in encouragement, “No one is.”

Beatrice smiled at the encouragement and continued, “when we all finally heard it together we were in a cab on the way to get dumplings and we almost caused our driver to crash.”

Everyone laughed again delighted. The show continued with more of the same atmosphere and fun banter between Graham and the guests. They spoke about their upcoming European tour and promotional endeavours for the upcoming album.

When the show was ready to wrap, Ava stood from her spot next to Beatrice and walked towards the stage, where her guitarist and a percussionist with a cajon waited for her. She sat on the chair between them, her demeanour shifted to a more sullen tone appropriate one.

The lights dimmed and the flamenco guitar began.

Qué bien sé yo la fuente

Que mana y corre

Aunque eeeeeees de noche

Aquella eterna fuente está escondida

Qué bien sé yo donde tiene su manida

Aunque eeeeeees de noche

En esta noche oscura de esta vida

Qué bien sé yo por fe la fuente fría

Aunque es de noche

Music, Beatrice found, always had a way of burying itself down to her bones. She didn’t need to speak the language, she understood the emotion perfectly. And Ava, what could she even be nitpicky about, Ava was delivering every line with so much care and love. In that instance she couldn’t help but chastise herself. She had devalued Ava, just as much as any other popular artist. And for what? To seem knowledgeable and alternative?

The song shifted. The tempo increased, but Ava’s falsettos had merged so perfectly that Beatrice would have just assumed it was the same song until it wasn’t. Ava stood, the light now reflecting the change of mood and the room mutated rather intensely.

Taggea'o tu nombre en la pared, eh

O El Mal Querer en Times Square, ¿o qué?

Driving speed limit DGT, eh

O quemando rue'a sin carnet, ¿o qué?

Vas a lo suave a lo kitty cat, eh

O muerdes si tienes que morder, ¿o qué?

Muerdes si tienes que morder, eh

Muerdes si tienes que morder

Beatrice looked around to her bandmates, all enthralled with what had just occurred. Camila was practically levitating, and she knew she wouldn’t hear the end of this today. Was Olivia Coleman dancing? Mary’s eyes met hers, see , she could hear her.

A palé, a palé, a palé, a palé

A palé, a palé, a palé, a

A palé, a palé, a palé, a palé

A palé, a palé, a palé, a-a-a

Fuck the greats.

—

“What the fuck was that?” Ava winced, as she was all but pushed back against the wall. The show staff were far enough not to hear or see. Her manager stood in front of her. She was still taller than Ava even in heels. “I thought we had agreed, they’re not ready to hear that. It��s not the right time.”

Ava felt small, but the rage had been building inside her for years, eating away at her. She needed this. A change in her sound had been a long time coming and no amount of begging and hoping was going to accomplish it anymore. Keep your eyes up. She reminded herself.

“The audience enjoyed it, didn’t they?” Ava squared her shoulders.

A dry laugh. “A decision like this can derail your entire career.” Her manager ran her hands through her wavy hair, “Who encouraged you?”

Ava shook her head baffled. “You think I needed encouragement? If you truly believe that you clearly haven't been paying attention.”

“I need to call Fermin and get this sorted before it gains any traction.”

“Emilia.”

Emilia turned, phone to her ear. “Hell–”

“We’ll call you back.” Ava's eyes were so intense that she was sure she was about to cry and she knew Emilia knew.

Eyes bore into hers, “Let me make something exceedingly clear to you. You are where you are because of all the hours I’ve devoted to making it happen. Not only do you continue to act like a child every chance you get, you also make no effort to hide it.” This time the shove against the wall was physical. “Who do you think contacts the media to hide all your little “mistakes”. Not to mention the rampant alcoholism that everyone ignores and puts up with.” Tears were beginning to well in Ava’s eyes. “Do you think it’s cute what you’re doing? Do you think it’s funny?” Emilia spoke calmly, completely stone-faced.“How fucking dare you?”

Ava couldn’t bear to raise her gaze to meet Emilia’s.

“Let me predict with 100% certainty what’s about to happen after we leave this building.” Emilia lowered her mouth close to Ava’s left ear, “You’re going to sneak out of your hotel room and you’re going to drink until you black out, and I’m going to find you in your bathtub tomorrow morning feeling sorry for yourself. And then we’ll leave this God forsaken country and never speak about this again.”

A noise from down the hall alerted them immediately. Ava could feel Emilia extracting herself. She gave a small glance in the direction of the noise, but couldn't make out what it was.

Emilia’s eyes were furious as her gaze returned to Ava. “I’ll let the driver know we’re ready to leave.”

Ava watched as her manager made her way down the hall and into one of the green rooms. The same noise resonated across the hall again. She wiped her face as best she could, turning the corner and without realising, smashing straight into something solid.

Beatrice.

Vest pocket tangled on the handle of the janitor’s closet. She would laugh if the circumstances weren’t pointing to the fact that she was sure the woman had overheard the exchange. And she knows that face. She sees her assistant make that face all too often.

“Why are you coming out of the closet?” Ava was nothing without her humour after all.

A beat. Beatrice hesitated, Ava could see her eyes frantically searching for the proper response. “Well…you see I was just trying to find the–”

“The?”

Beatrice made an attempt to form words, but gave up several times. She struggled with the handle again, somehow she had managed to make it go further into her pocket.

Ava chuckled. A full on throaty chuckle. “Here. Let me.” Ava placed her hand on her arm and gently twisted the handle enough that it slipped right out.

The honey brown eyes danced awkwardly from wall to wall before meeting hers.

There was a breath and Ava began to understand that this was probably something Beatrice did often before speaking. A learned response she knew all too well. “Are you alright?” Beatrice asked, arms coming to her side.

She waited for Ava’s response. Strange . Most people would have already walked away from what had just happened. Pretending. Always pretending. “Do you know Claridge’s?” She hoped Beatrice wouldn’t push.

“Do I know Claridge’s?” An inflection on the ‘I’.

“Meet me outside at ten.”

“What? Like, tonight?”

“Ten. tonight.”

Ava turned to leave.

“Ten?”

“Tonight.”

—

Beatrice is not in the habit of meeting up with world famous pop stars outside of bougie hotels, but she was in fact a big fan of a mystery and that’s what Ava was. A person like Ava shouldn't exist. The raw emotion and vocal talent she had just witnessed could not have come out of a five foot tall person that looked like that.

Like what? Like sunshine?

She physically shook the thought from her head and glanced down at the watch on her wrist.

10:14 pm

This had to have been a joke. Why would she have ever thought that something like this could happen to someone like her. The doormen knew it. And she knew it. She didn’t belong and they were definitely going to call the Bobbies. She swiped through her phone a couple of times looking for the train schedule. She had time. She could still walk away without being charged for trespassing.

“Hi.” Beatrice was sure she caught some air. “I’m sorry about the wait, I had to do a bit of Mission Impossible–ling,” Ave smiled way too happy about her own joke.

“I see.”

She looked at Beatrice for a moment, long enough to be noticed, that is, “You look slick.”

And it wasn’t a usual thing for Beatrice to care about her appearance. Her eyes looked down, suddenly vulnerable. She was wearing houndstooth trousers, slip-on-sneakers, a white cotton shirt and a black coat. And then she looked at Ava who was wearing the same outfit from the green room plus an oversized coat and heels, hair still in curls.

“Thanks.”

Ava began to walk.

Beatrice hesitated for a moment but followed after her. “Wait. Where are we going?”

“Looking for some nightlife.” Ava was quick on her feet, comfortable in her heels as they made their way down the cobblestone street. A feat that Beatrice herself has never been able to maneuver that well.

“A nightlife here? In Mayfair?” The only kind of night life in Mayfair was over expensive single-grape wine from wherever the fuck in France.

As they walked they passed high end shop windows and luxury vehicles parked on the street. There were a healthy amount of people wandering nearby restaurants and bars, which calmed Beatrice’s nerves. After passing The King’s Head, Ava made a right with no signs of slowing down.

“You seem to know where you’re going.”

Ava slowed, taking pity on her. “I come to London a lot, usually to record.”

“That makes sense.”

“Do you like it here?”

“London? I mean, I was raised here, can’t complain.” Beatrice continued, “What about you?”

“Can’t say I stick around long enough to form an opinion.”

“I can show you around if you’d like sometime.”

Ava giggled, but didn’t look at Beatrice. “Maybe next time I’m in town.”

Beatrice wasn’t sure what it was about Ava that caused her to lose all sense of self. If it were any other Friday night she would be in her flat reading or listening to her latest record find. Only leaving if her bandmates had plans together or to have dinners with her parents. Was it because of who she was? No. Beatrice had already met her fair share of celebrities so this wasn’t that. Plus, she was never one to be around people like Ava. People that shined easily.

They stopped in front of white steps. She looked up at a simple black door with the number 46.

“Are we visiting someone?”

Ava didn’t answer, choosing to climb instead.“When we go in, don't accept anything from anyone. Don’t wander far from me and definitely do not speak to the staff more than required. They will know.”

“Sorry?” Ava knocked and after a few seconds the door was opened by a man in a tailored suit with an earpiece.

“Ms. Silva, good evening.”

“Good evening.” Ava grabbed her hand leading her inside.

Past the entryway was a long hallway and a set of heavy doors. What the fuck was happening?

“Good evening Ms. Silva, coats?”

Ava removed her coat, handing it over to a staff member behind the counter, then began to help Beatrice out of hers.

“Thank you. Enjoy your evening ladies.”

Her hand was grabbed again as they passed through the solid doors.

The building seemed to suddenly expand, the lights were dimmed and cigar smoke floated up towards strategically placed vents. Several men and women sat around chairs she was sure would cost more than her university education. The brown oak coffee tables held various drinks and if she looked close enough she could see old water marks left behind from years of use. As they made their way down the room she made out rows and rows of people chatting to one another or laughing. The music was jazzy and at a level where easy conversation could be had.

Ava didn’t pay much attention to their surroundings and was headed for the stairs. Her hand felt suddenly very clammy with uncertainty. And as they neared the steps she felt the bass of the music increase.

Beatrice knew better than to get herself into a situation like this, so, why had a woman she had only met a few hours prior been so powerful. She was almost sure this was turning out to be some weird Ready or Not shit, where rich people kill for sport. And the funny thing was she knew this was how she went. All those years of repression and putting music first, all too be undone by a pretty girl with red lips. Her bandmates were going to kill her for this–well, she’d be dead, but they would definitely come to the wake and roast her.

They took two steps at a time and emerged into what was obviously a club. The lights bounced with the beat of the music as the people inside danced along, not acknowledging anything but the vibe and themselves. The bar stretched across the entire length of the left wall and several tables stood snuggly to the right, both hugging the dance floor.

Ava walked straight to the bar, finally releasing her hand. Beatrice couldn’t see much apart from the pulsating lights hitting the walls due to how dark it was.

“What will you have?” Ava got close enough to speak into her ear.

“Huh? Sorry I was looking at the architecture.”

Ava gave her a fond look then turned her attention to the bartender. “We’ll start with shots.”

“Oh, I don’t–I’m not—”

“Just try it. It’s a no pressure shot.”

Beatrice looked from the glass and to Ava. This was not a good idea.

By the time Beatrice had mustered a semblance of courage to even hold the shot Ava was already on her fourth. She watched her expectantly and the indescribable force was back. The liquor went down hard. She could feel it burning all the way down.

“That was vile!”

“I bet!”

Ava looked at the crowd. The energy was feeding into her. “Dance?”

Beatrice wavered considering her options. “You go ahead. I’ll catch up.” She was hoping Ava wouldn’t question it. And when she didn’t Beatrice sent a small prayer to anyone who was listening. She watched as Ava made her way through the crowd needing no time to synchronise to everyone else.

“Anything else?” The bartender asked impatiently.

“Water, please.”

This was going to be a long night.

She had somehow made it through to Ava, who was now flushed red and perspiring, though it was not something that looked bad on her. She smiled the moment she spotted Beatrice and rushed to put her hands on her hips.

Oh, your gravity, your gravity

Your gravity, I will follow you

Oh, your gravity, your gravity

Your gravity, I will follow you

The bodies next to them bounced and swayed matching the rhythm.

Head in the stars, I see you everywhere

I could never get away, get away (away)

In a hold, just take me anywhere

And I believe in what you say

—

Beatrice adjusted the body on her back again.

Yup, this had been a terrible idea.

She had only made it down two streets and her ankles were not complying. Ava was essentially dead weight at this point and she could feel a cool kind of liquid on the shoulder where her head rested.

It was now 3 AM and she was having some major regrets.

Beatrice wasn’t sure how much alcohol Ava had consumed, she had lost track at some point. She had begged her to have some water, peanuts, anything, but Ava had been hard headed and knew exactly what she was doing.

She bounced her butt up, catching Ava’s thighs again. At least it didn’t look out of place. Plenty of people had stumbled out and they had left a straggler a street behind who kept insisting he was Harry Styles.

Thank God for her sneakers or else this would have looked more like she was pulling a dead body. Oh fuck. Did it look like she was carrying a dead body? Her pace increased out of pure fear. This literally could not be happening right now. She was done for. Ava’s fans would kill her. They wouldn’t even question her. They would tear her apart limb from limb in some sadistic medieval torture session while chanting along to one of their idol’s songs.

She had by some miraculous stroke of luck made it back to Claridge’s. The two doormen from earlier watched her struggle the last few meters to the door.

“Hello there!” She sounded way too excited.

“Evening,” one of the doormen greeted her unenthusiastically.

“Yes, hi. She–she’s a guest at this hotel and as you can–” she adjusted their bodies. The men looked between them, but showed no signs of letting her through. “As you can see, she is very much asleep.”

“What name is the room booked under?”

“Silva? Ava Silva?”

“There’s no such guest staying with us.”

Of course.

She readjusted Ava again. Hoping for some kind of pity.

Ava’s hand appeared in front of her face holding a room key. “Oh! Well, there we go then. Excuse us.”

The door was held open long enough for Beatrice to slip inside.

“You are…weird–weirdly strong,” Ava said a little slurred.

Beatrice’s sneakers squeaked on the checkered marble flooring. The grand entryway was entirely too opulent for the amount of pain currently coursing through every inch of her body.

She needed a lift.

The night attendants watched them closely.

She heard the distinctive ding and rushed to make it, but the doors closed.

She lowered her face to the console and pressed the up button with her nose. This had to be a new low even for her, which is saying a lot because she NEVER does anything like this. The most she would admit to is staying up all night during record store day and camping outside the vinyl store for hours. It took a few seconds and the other set of doors opened. She slipped inside taking a moment to balance Ava and herself against a wall.

There was a beep and the lift began to rise.

“Did you just?”

Ava nodded against her shoulder.

When they arrived at the correct floor Beatrice mustered all the strength she had left. She readjusted Ava and in one smooth motion used the wall to push them forward.

“Room?!”

“The–the door on the left,” Ava pointed down the hall.

Her legs were shaking. She needed to run into that room. The door clicked open and she rushed in quickly finding the bed and throwing Ava on it, who bounced a couple of times giggling as if Beatrice hadn’t just carried her for what felt like kilometers. There was definitely going to be murder tonight, and she would accept her fate at the hands of her fanbase.

“How could you be laughing!” Beatrice began, eyebrows cast down, anger suddenly blooming after tonight's events. “How could you just let yourself drink to the point of passing out? What if I hadn’t been there? How would you have gotten back here? Do I need to take you to the hospital? Do you need your stomach pumped?!” Beatrice took a breath. Her face was hot and she was sure, no, she knew, she had pulled one of her calf muscles.

Ava was sitting upright watching her closely, her face was red, small strands of hair stuck to her forehead. Suddenly, Ava stood with yet another impressive display of heel sportsmanship, discarding her coat in one go and running to the bathroom.

She managed to make it to the toilet before retching and vomiting into it.

“Oh my God–are you okay?” Beatrice wobbled her way into the bathroom. Ava nodded weakly, giving her a thumbs up.“Here, let me pull your hair back.” Beatrice took the hair tie on her wrist, somewhat picking up Ava’s sticky hair off her face. Yup, that was definitely a chunk of something tangled in her hair. Ava’s shoulder shook with a giggle.“You look a mess and you are laughing?!” Beatrice couldn't help it, her shoulder began to shake as well.

They both laughed wholeheartedly or in this case deliriously. And then Ava began to retch again.

“N—” Beatrice could feel it. The need to join. It was all dry, but enough for her body to gag and compulse a bit in solidarity.

Ava threw up again and Beatrice wobbled out needing to get out of there before dry turned into not so dry. She looked around the room looking for a small fridge with hopefully some water inside. It was a miracle at this point that she hadn’t tripped on the amount of clothing littering the floor. The room she found was as chaotic as its inhabitant.

Score.

She grabbed the sealed bottle and basically hopped on one foot to the bathroom. She kneeled down to where Ava’s head was in the toilet, handing the bottle over. “Please rinse out your mouth. Stomach acid is not good for your teeth.”

Ava did as she was told. She sat back against the bathtub, everything finally catching up to her.

Beatrice had wandered back into the room, she removed her coat and let herself rest against the bed. Her bandmates were never going to believe her if she ever brought this up. This could not happen again. She wasn’t built for this. She was built for late night doom scrolling and hot cups of tea. This had filled her social quota for the century and in a moment of weakness imagined her life right now in a different reality. She could be a nun, transcribing old texts and doing a bit of bookkeeping. Yup, that she was made for.

The toilet flushed and Ava slowly emerged from the bathroom. She leaned against the door frame, removing a heel at a time.“That was close.” She fiddled with the button of her jeans until she gave up and pulled them down without any warning.

Ava was a terrorist.

Beatrice made no attempt to look away. What would the point have been? Ava had managed to top whatever she did with something else. Silky black underwear. Pfft. “Right. So, I’m going to go now.” She pushed off the bed and shoved her hands in her pant pockets, “I would like to say that it has been great, but it has not.”

Ava pulled the covers and slipped inside without paying her any attention.

Beatrice waited for any kind of reply, but when none came concern took over once again. Ava was lying so still that she could have sworn she had a cardiac episode without any kind of preamble. She stepped closer, lowering her face enough to hear some kind of breath. Soft, hardly there. She could see Ava’s chest slowly rising and falling in rhythm. The person before her now felt so small and fragile, without the carefully crafted mask she had wielded the whole day.

She unconsciously ran a gentle hand down Ava’s cheek, the force pulling her to do it was so strong she didn’t have the strength to fight against it anymore. Ava was okay. She was asleep.

Beatrice grabbed the bottle from where Ava had left it on the bathroom counter and brought it to the night table closest to Ava. With one final look to satisfy her worry she turned to leave, carefully putting her weight on her foot, surprised to find that it felt much better already. She closed the room door lightly behind her and as she reached the lift doors. A noise from down the hall alerted her. The same woman from before, Emilia, emerged from the room opposite of Ava’s. She scanned a keycard against Ava’s door, but before stepping inside, her face turned, making eye contact with Beatrice.

Her face was unreadable and for just a moment Beatrice feared for her life. She looked away, smashing the lift button a couple of more times. She heard the door close down the hall and breathed a sigh of relief as the lift doors closed behind her.

—

Beatrice had hoped that a Sunday morning run followed by a cup of coffee would bring her some kind of peace. The chilly Autumn wind hit her cheeks, turning them pink. She sat outside her favourite coffee shop, which was just a few minutes walk from her flat. The run had filled her body with endorphins and she was currently riding the ‘ nothing is absolutely wrong ’ train.

The last few days had been a roller coaster and dare she say a shit fest. Vincent was not answering her calls or any of their calls and had apparently disappeared from the face of the Earth. Her emails were out of control with managers, producers, sponsors and basically everyone in the industry that wanted a piece of them.

So this, a simple coffee, she could do for the moment. She wasn’t going to think about what had happened with Ava last night. And she was not going to think about murdering Vincent.

Several undisclosed and heavy shopping bags were deposited on the table in front of her. The sudden action caused her to blink rapidly several times.

A woman stood there observing her closely. She wore brown high waisted pants with a cream turtleneck and an olive coat, “Beatrice Young?”

“…Yes?” She was hesitant to confirm.

“Suzanne De Fanti,” She took a seat across from her.

Why did that name sound so familiar?

She waited for Beatrice to speak, but when no reply came she continued, “I hear that you are in need of a manager.”

“Oh well, that’s— does everyone know that?”

“Yes.” It was direct and Beatrice liked that in a person. “I have taken it upon myself to reach out to several brands that meet the bands general aesthetic or as you young kids call it now ‘vibes’.”

“I can see that.”

“It seems you are a difficult commodity to get a hold of and I am here to facilitate that.”

Realisation suddenly hit her. “You’re THE Suzanne De Fanti? You’re a legend. I thought you retired from management a couple of years ago.”

The woman shrugged. “If I’m being perfectly honest, the industry was a bit stagnant.”

“And you’re back?”

“I believe so.” She answered, fingers picking at something on her nail. I have plenty of connections and old friends. I assume everything is still exploitative and disruptive.”

Beatrice watched her for a moment. This was probably too good to be true. How does something like this even happen? Also, how did Suzanne even find her?

“Where are your bandmates? I’d like to meet them so we’re all acquainted.” Suzanne had a way about herself and Beatrice knew to keep a bit of skepticism.

“That simple then?”

“It can be. I assume you don’t speak for them.”

“No, I do not.” A breath. “What’s in it for you? A return to your former glory?”

“Don’t misunderstand my offer.” She began, “In my years of doing this I have rarely seen such a reaction towards a musician much less a band. You’ve done well, but that can only take you so far in this industry. You need proper connections and someone with the experience to help you navigate it all.” Suzanne searched her face. “You want to hear the most useful advice I can give you? Quit. Quit now before it hurts. Because it’s going to get a lot more difficult from here on out. Yes, getting attention in itself is a feat, but keeping it? That takes work, and not everyone is built for it. Trust me. I have seen it.”

Beatrice shifted her eyes. The words cut a little too close. “Is that all you think it is for us?”

“No, but the way I see it is, eventually, you forget to think about why you started in the first place. And then the hurt sets in.”

Beatrice doesn’t have a response. She lets the conversation sit between them and thinks. Always thinking. Her bandmates were beginning to show frustrations with Vincent’s lack of initiative, they had been busy and tired, so tired. Suzanne could be the person they needed.

“We have practice in thirty minutes. I can give you the address to the studio we’re renting, you can come see us then.”

“Nearby?”

“Just a few streets from here. I was about to change and head over before…” Beatrice waved her hand around not needing to communicate what had just happened.

“Alright, we go now.” Suzanne stood pointing at the bags, “How fashion savvy are you?”

“I have been trying very hard not to be giddy over the Alexander McQueen logo.”

She smiled in approval. “Well, what are we waiting for?” She grabbed a few bags and left the rest for Beatrice to help with.

Beatrice thought she was a speedy walker on most days. Growing up in London had ingrained a mad scramble mentality to grab The Tube on busy work days, but this was on another level. Suzanne walked with so much haste that it was like she was running circles around Beatrice and still pulling in ahead and her legs could only take her so far.

“Bea! Beeeeaaaaaaa! BEATRICE!” Camila screamed across the street from them, somehow spotting them on her way to practice.

Suzanne stopped before she did and it took all her self control not to topple over her.

Camila crossed the avenue, catching up to them. “I can spot those little pigeon ankles from anywhere.” She looked from Beatrice to the stranger, before her eyes caught sight of the bags.

“Camila Delcán”

“Oh…wow that’s scary.” She paused, “Do we know this…very well dressed woman?”

“Hi Camila,” Beatrice greeted her, a fond look on her face. “This is Suzanne De Fanti.”

“The Real Housewives of Napoli?”

“...I don’t…what?”

Suzanne laughed and it was genuine. “Potential new manager,” She extended her hand to Camila who shook it with both hers.

“I have been manifesting this.” She said, way too happy with the possibility.

Suzanne handed the remaining bags to Camila, “Grab these will you, I need to make a phone call.” She pulled a phone from her purse and pressed the screen exactly once. “Lead the way ladies.”

And they were off again. Beatrice didn’t know what had possessed her, but somehow she was walking faster, eager to meet the rest of her bandmates. Camila kept pace next to her, she was hopping. They turned a corner and headed towards a three story building. Once inside they called for the lift and turned to look at Suzanne who had hung up and was taking in her sights.

“This won't do.”

“It was all we could afford and we’re still under contract.”

The lift arrived, doors grinded struggling to open.

“Stairs?”

“To our left but the lights have been out since August and the neighborhood teens hang out in there.” Camila offered, already stepping onto the lift alongside Beatrice. “I once found a boobless Barbie doll, it was so strange.”

“Hmm.”

They were all crammed in the small space as the sorry excuse for lift ascended. The metal rattled and further protested as the bass from the levels above amplified aggressive sounding drums and guitars. Beatrice and Camila looked at each other with concern as the lift’s door slowly opened to reveal the saddest looking loft imaginable.

The three occupants inside continued their session. Lilith fiercely sing-screaming into the microphone while strumming her guitar. Mary casually just jamming with her bass and Yasmine too distracted on the drums to notice that anyone had arrived.

Wake up, wake up, wake up

We are appalling and we need to stop just watching shit in bed

And I know it sounds boring and we like things that are funny

But we need to get this in our fucking heads

The economy's a goner, republic's a banana, ignore it if you wanna

Suzanne looked around, slightly concerned with the safety of the loft as the walls shook and dust particles fell off the ceiling. The studio equipment was prehistoric and to be perfectly honest half of it didn’t even work anymore. There was a small couch by the wall behind the control booth and copious amounts of carpets.

I don't like going outside, so bring me everything here

HEY!

WOO!

YEA!

Mary was the first to notice their new guests, she gave Beatrice and Camila a small wave before walking towards the amps and shutting off their power. It took a few seconds for Lilith and Yasmine to realise what had occurred.

“Guys! We have a new manager!” Camila shouted excitedly on her way to her bandmates.

“No…wait Camila,” Beatrice called out after her.

“New manager? I don’t remember us having a democratic vote about this? Beatrice?” Mary was always on top of everything.

“Suzanne De Fanti,” The older woman reached out for a handshake.

“Oh shit? It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Mary,” Mary shook her hand without hesitation.

“I know.”

Lilith and Yasmine now joined the rest.

“Yes.”

“Yes?” Beatrice raised her eyebrow towards Lilith.

“I vote yes.”

“We should think about this together.”

“No, I’m done waiting around,” Lilith answered back unfazed. “I’m well aware of who she is and what she is capable of.”

“And I’m well aware of who you are and what you’re capable of.” Suzanne smiled. “Your mother and I ran around the same circles years ago, I’m glad to see that she wasn’t wrong about you.”

The girls all stood in silence.

“Yes”

“YES!”

“Yea”

“I like her very much,” Yasmine spoke last.

“That settles it then.” Suzanne crossed her arms, looking at them a little too close for comfort. “Haircuts, clothes, studio, and Levy.”

“Levy?” Beatrice asked, confused.

“Yasmin, I require information of all that has happened this year and leading up to it.” Their new manager continued, not bothering to answer, “I’ve been following along but I need to know what the media doesn’t know.”

“I’m on it. I’ve kept a spreadsheet of all our exploits thus far.”

Camila’s eyes bulged. “What! What exploits?”

The lift doors opened just as weakly as before.

“Uh, so I was just verbally assaulted by a very off-brand Billie Eilish outside.” The man walked towards them. He was impeccably dressed, coat outlining his shoulders perfectly.

Suzanne smirked. “Girls, this is Levy.”

Camila bounced in place. “Can we keep him?”

—

One Month Later

“I thought I already told you to stop biting your cuticles, you look like a sneaky little rodent,” Levy leaned over and whispered-yelled rather roughly into her ear.

Beatrice was so close so so very close to ending his life.

A model squeezed between them scrabbling towards her fitting assistant.

Beatrice’s nails came back to her mouth.

How Suzanne figured out she used to do ballet was a mystery to her. She had never referenced it in any interview, heck, her bandmates didn’t know. Well, except for Camila, but she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t, right? Why, Yes, Suzanne I love fashion. Please put me on a runway show, it’ll be great for the group's image and reachability. And sure, Suzanne had been skeptical about her abilities, but a few contacts later and a runway coach from hell had prepared her to do just one outfit. She could do this. It was just walking. She walked all the time in straight lines, and not so straight lines. Plus, she had great stamina.

Levy swatted her hand away.

She glanced around the massive room around her. Everyone was running around like a bunch of headless chickens. Photographers, hair stylists, makeup artists, assistants of assistants, models in various stages of undress and Levy. The lights were so bright that she was sure it would leave an impression in her corneas. Everyone was yelling and somehow it was the weirdest dance she had ever experienced. Everything was somehow going according to plan.

She found a bit of wall to lean on and it lasted exactly one second before Levy pulled her off it. “You’re going to crease it! And I am not about to be impaled by Sarah Burton.”

“You try standing on these!”

“I would willingly sell my left nipple to do so.”

Admittedly, the dress and heels she was wearing were beautiful, but she would not give him the satisfaction of enjoying this one bit. The embroidered black lace hugged her torso perfectly, which flowed until it hit silk that further became undone with fine brushed textures. She was about to politely scream like a banshee and truly personify the dress she was wearing.

Levy walked off to answer his phone. Beatrice was certain it was Suzanne asking how she was doing. And by the look on his face, he was not being very kind. She would give him an earful once he came back.

Everyone around them burst into cheers suddenly, even the models engrossed in conversation stopped to look over. A few photographers rushed forward snapping pictures as the person walked to the enormous wall that was the entrance to the catwalk. The person must be the musical number that was meant to close the show. There was a break in the crowd and Beatrice could only stare a little slack jawed.

Ava.

It was Ava.

Her hair had been cut straight across her shoulders in a clean bob. She had fierce eye makeup just like Beatrice’s and wore a dress that resembled one of the earlier looks. With cascading translucent white silk chiffon that stopped just a bit past her bottom with beautiful sunray pleats. She nodded a few times to the assistants nearby as they handed her a microphone and put in her in-ears. The music shifted and Ava stepped onto the runway.

“Beatrice!” Levy was urgently trying to get her attention.

She saw the closing looks coming together in order. The stage assistant ran frantically towards her. “Remember. Do it just like earlier during practice. Follow 41. Remember the cameras are mainly positioned at the front.” She wasn’t much younger than Beatrice. “Once you’re back, be ready to head back out to close the show with the rest of the models.”

Ava’s voice echoed inside.

She nodded, purely by instinct as she was pulled towards 41.

Me da miedo cuando sales

Sonriendo pa' la calle

Porque todos pueden ver

Los hoyuelitos que te salen

She and 41 were about to become so intimate.

41 stepped through onto the runway and a hand was held in front of her. Once that hand was down it was go time. There was no more deliberation. She focused on Ava’s voice. The arm came down and she was off.

She had practiced with the lights on before. She knew how intense they would be, but nothing could have prepared her for the amount of eyes that were currently on her. On either side of the runway were rows upon rows of the fashion elite. All taking notes in order to be the front page article the moment the show was over. The flash of photographers set her on edge momentarily as she navigated the now very foggy catwalk. She spotted Suzanne sitting to her left, who gave a quick nod, but nothing more.

Cuando sales por la puerta

Pienso que no vuelves nunca

Y si no te agarro fuerte

Siento que será mi culpa

Ava must have noticed her somehow because she made eye contact and stumbled with her words for a second. She walked past, head forward. She was almost there, almost finished. The photographer's flashes intensified as she made it to the end of the runway giving them a quick pose.

Pienso en tu mirá, tu mirá clavá es una bala en el pecho

Ava sang into her microphone, her powerful voice coming through perfectly. They made eye contact again. Beatrice’s stomach jumped. Huh . That was definitely new territory.

The walk backstage was even faster.

She made it, careful to stand out of the way for the final looks to come through. Levy waved frantically, his smile genuine. The models around her began to line up for the closing parade and she followed suit.

Once they were all ready the stage assistant lowered her arm and they all walked out to the runway. The feeling was indescribable, she was riding on the world's weirdest high right now. She was equal parts delirious and beyond elated. 41 had saved her life and she was eternally grateful.

As she made her way back from the photographers she gave Suzanne a huge smile and then it was over. Sarah Burton walked past her eager to take her bows as the audience clapped enthusiastically.

Levy crushed her in a big hug. “I was rooting for you the whole time, didn’t doubt you for a second!”

“I feel really really lightheaded right now.” She leaned back against a table, dress be damned. She needed something to ground her. All of that stress for maybe 5 minutes of having to do it.

Everyone around her was celebrating how great the show had turned out. Some models weren’t even fazed, already taking their makeup off and pulling at their hairs, the assistants around them helping them out of their outfits.

Without meaning to her eyes sought Ava in the crowd. Something that she should have been more careful about because as soon as she found her she saw more than she bargained for. And sure this was a fashion show and she had spent the majority of the day seeing the human anatomy in ways she hadn’t before. One of Ava’s assistants helped her out of her dress while the other one held another outfit. It was quick. She could have missed it if she looked away, but her heart began to palpitate.

Ava’s eyes met hers and held her gaze. It was seconds, but it felt like an eternity and she had the audacity to wink in her direction.

The second assistant slid the dress on causing their gaze to shatter.

Oh God, can you make my heart stop?

Hit me with your kill shot, baby

I mean it so serious

God, can you make my heart stop?

Honey, with your kill shot, baby

I mean it so serious

#avatrice #warrior nun #ava silva #sister beatrice #Liturgia #drizzlewrites

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gimmethatagustd · 8 days ago

Text

keep singing this lie (4) | kth + jjk

Black Swan, an up-and-coming alternative metal rock band, is going on its first official tour. Jungkook looks forward to proving himself in a cutthroat industry, and Taehyung looks forward to the groupies. Neither expects to find the comfort their hearts truly desire in one another.

Pairing: Drummer Taehyung x Singer Jungkook

Rating: Explicit

Genre/Trope: Rock band au, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst, smut, fluff

Word Count: 8,736

Content Warnings: jai rants and raves about emo music, drunken making out, frottage, they're adorable your honor, internalized homophobia (we're slowly in our healing era)

A/N: The lyrics featured in this chapter aren’t mine. The songs they belong to are linked in the story, so you can easily find the musicians’ information. I’ve included them to share what the general vibe of Black Swan is like! I hope it creates an ~immersive experience for you.

Soundtrack: Series playlist

♡ Series Masterlist

The air blasting from the Emo Dad van is hot. Taehyung rolls down the driver’s side window (yes, rolls), hoping that a breeze will flow through the van, but the air outside is stagnant and equally hot. He’s not at the point of dripping sweat, but he’s afraid he might get there soon if they’re stuck on the highway any longer. He also has the aching feeling that he might have to pee soon, which makes this hours-long traffic jam even more unbearable.

“I hope this thing doesn’t overheat,” Taehyung mutters, primarily to himself.

The only other person awake in the van is Jungkook, who sits in the passenger’s seat and looks on the verge of a heatstroke. The sweatier of the two, Jungkook’s bangs are pushed away from his face to relieve his sticky skin. He pulls his tank shirt away from his torso and flaps it several times to get some air circulation.

“Please don’t put that in the universe,” Jungkook whines. It’s cute. Taehyung thinks everything Jungkook does is cute.

“Don’t have faith in the Emo Mobile?”

“The Mystery Machine?”

“Nah, we gotta come up with our own thing. Unless you wanna be Fred.”

Jungkook gasps. “Why would I be Fred?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Taehyung flexes his bicep with a grin.

“Fred is stupid.” Jungkook slides down in his seat. Taehyung thinks his pout is cute, too. “I wanna be Velma.”

The snort that rushes out of Taehyung’s nostrils hurts the back of his throat. “You would look good in a miniskirt and librarian glasses.”

Silence blankets the already heavy atmosphere of the van. Taehyung chews at his bottom lip, quickly dragging his front teeth along it from side to side. Why the fuck would he say something like that? Is it even true? Of course, it’s true because Jungkook would look good in anything. But did Taehyung really have to say it like that?

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Jungkook eventually breaks the silence. That's all he says, and Taehyung isn’t sure if he likes that.

Taehyung rubs his clammy hands on the thighs of his basketball shorts and tells himself they’re sweaty because of the heat and no other reason. Afraid of the silence that falls, he reaches over to fiddle with the radio, flipping through a few stations. They’re in the middle of nowhere, so the stations are primarily static or terrible country music.

“AUX?” He asks Jungkook, not caring which of the two controls the music.

“What mood are you in? Black Veil Brides or Forever The Sickest Kids?”

“Oooh, you’re trying to appease me with millennial rock and pop-punk throwbacks, huh?” Taehyung does a little dance by shimmying his shoulders and wiggling his body. “FTSK.”

“I don’t care what anyone says. The early 2000s punk scene was gold,” Jungkook sighs. He puts on Underdog Alma Mater and mimes along to the guitar riffs of “Whoa Oh! (Me vs. Everyone)” in exaggerated motions.

Taehyung hums in agreement. “Top five early 2000s bands, go.”

With furrowed eyebrows, Jungkook stares at the car in front of them. It’s a convertible with the top down and two men in the front seats. They have their arms intertwined atop the middle console.

“I was, like, three years old in 2000.”

“Yeah, okay? And I was five and didn’t even live in America or know English. Go.”

Taehyung knows Jungkook is just being difficult for no reason because all four of them definitely listen to a wide variety of rock music, including the early 2000s.

“My Chemical Romance.”

“You’re so fucking emo,” Taehyung interrupts.

“Shh! You asked me the question, and I’m answering it. My Chem, Boys Like Girls.” Taehyung snickers. “Fall Out Boy, obviously, Gym Class Heroes, and The Maine.”

“Gym Class Heroes and The Maine ?!” Taehyung has to keep his voice down because Jimin and Seokjin are napping in the back of the van. “You’re so…”

“So? So what, hyung? Hm?” Jungkook challenges, but there’s a silly grin lifting the corners of his mouth.

Taehyung shakes his head. His cheeks hurt from how hard he’s been smiling, and he tries to hide it by running his fingers along his lips, his eyes focused on the cars surrounding them. For the first time in days, he feels like he’s in a good mood, a genuinely good mood. Maybe it’s the warmth of the sun. Maybe it’s the warmth of Jungkook’s smile.

“Exactly.” Jungkook playfully huffs. “Now it’s your turn, so I can drag you.”

“Easy. Sublime, Sugar Ray, Green Day, Linkin Park, and Weezer.”

“No way! None of those fucking count; they started in the 80s and 90s.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s all technicalities. Those bands’ most iconic content came out in the early 2000s. Hybrid Theory? Minutes to Midnight? American Idiot? Raditude? You cannot tell me I’m wrong.”

Jungkook blows the strands of hair that have fallen into his face in his enthusiasm. “Nope. This is against the rules.”

Taehyung laughs, his shoulders bobbing up and down as he tries to keep the sound inside. “Alright, alright. I’ll play by your teeny-bopper, punk-pop rules. New list: Panic! At The Disco �� before the racism, obviously. The Used, Paramore, Bring Me The Horizon, and Escape The Fate.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “You’re so dumb.”

“What the fuck?!” Taehyung twists in his seat, internally cringing at how his sweaty skin sticks to the leather. “What the fuck is dumb? Those are all culturally significant bands.”

Jungkook sticks out his tongue, and Taehyung knows that means he has no good comeback to throw at him.

Feeling triumphant, Taehyung grins as he taps his fingers to the music. The traffic has managed to move a few inches forward, but hardly enough to feel any kind of hope or relief. Being stuck with nothing to do will be good for them, though, him and Jungkook. They haven’t had time to talk – which is entirely Taehyung’s fault. He knows he’s been distant and why things have been awkward. But the last thing Taehyung wants is to upset Jungkook, and he’s starting to realize that he already has.

“New game,” Taehyung announces. “Twenty questions, Black Swan edition.”

Jungkook takes off his seatbelt so he can turn in his chair. With his back leaned against the door, he faces Taehyung, interest peaked.

“Oh? Questions about us? You go first.”

“Mhm, and we both have to answer,” Taehyung instructs. “What’s your favorite song?”

“Ugh, that’s not fair! This question is too hard.” Jungkook crosses his arms against his chest and pouts. Even though the van isn’t moving, Taehyung needs to keep his eyes on the road, or else the cuteness of Jungkook’s expressions is going to strangle him.

“Tough titties, I don’t care.”

“Fine. Mine’s “There’s Fear In Letting Go” if I have to pick.”

Taehyung turns to Jungkook at that, shock clearly written on his face from his raised eyebrows and open mouth. He wets his lips as his eyes search Jungkook’s face, watching his cheeks turn pink.

“Seriously? Why?”

Jungkook looks down, but not quick enough for Taehyung to miss the appearance of his bunny smile. That particular song is so unlike Jungkook. The lyrics are much more depressing than most of their songs and explicitly violent in a way the others aren’t – likely because Taehyung wrote them.

“I don’t know. The lyrics themselves aren’t my favorite – no offense or anything!” Taehyung isn’t offended; he knows they aren’t Jungkook’s vibe. “But I like the way you scream in it.” Jungkook stares at his hands while he talks. “So many of our songs, especially our newer ones, only feature me and Jimin’s vocals. But your harsh vocals are so good. I don’t know, hyung. You just add dimension to our songs. Like there’s more emotion when you scream.”

Taehyung is the only screamer in the band. Any harsher parts of their songs are all him, leaving his throat raw and his voice gravelly by the end of every performance. Most of the time, it isn’t anything some honey in his tea won’t remedy. He read somewhere online that screamers can develop health conditions, but Taehyung has always lived by the motto: here for a good time, not a long time. He supposes he’ll have to give up screaming one day, but not anytime soon.

Jungkook’s praise makes Taehyung wiggle in his seat, and he becomes suddenly uncomfortable with the attention he usually bends backward to receive from others.

“Really?” He asks dumbly.

Jungkook beams at him with his eyes crinkled at the corners. “Of course, hyung. You’ve got a special skill most people don’t. You know I’ve tried.”

Taehyung chuckles at the memory of Jungkook straining himself so hard that he nearly popped a blood vessel trying to make the sounds Taehyung can. Considering how soft-spoken Taehyung is, it's funny that he can sound so rough and intimidating.

It’s definitely not for everyone. Some people think their genre is evil, even. Taehyung has been called a Satanist more than once. He just laughs.

Jungkook draws his legs into his seat to sit with them crossed like a pretzel.

“My favorite song is “The Summoning.” Partly because of the lyrics but also because it’s one of my favorites to play. The instrumentals really hit different with that one.”

“And you get to scream.”

Taehyung chuckles. “Yeah, also that. But I think me, Chim, and hyung really work well together on that one. And it’s very… unique in its vibes.”

“It’s sensual.”

Taehyung hums. That’s the reason why it’s a fan favorite.

“Alright. Which song is your favorite, based on the lyrics?”

Jungkook seems shy answering this question, too. Perhaps it’s because he and Seokjin write most of the lyrics. Taehyung has had his hand in writing a few songs, though he feels that writing isn’t his strong suit. He’ll bang away at the drums and create a beat easily, but words don’t come to him as painlessly as they do for Jungkook and Seokjin.

Taehyung wonders if it’s because he learned English as an adult, whereas English is Jungkook and Seokjin’s first language. Even now, after being in the United States for almost a decade, Taehyung still has to think intentionally about what he wants to say. It isn’t uncommon for him to encounter a word he doesn’t know or forget how to say something.

Breaking Taehyung out of his thoughts, Jungkook mumbles his answer to the question, but Taehyung can’t hear.

“Which one?”

“Middle of the Night,” Jungkook rushes to respond. His face is bright pink.

“Middle of the Night” is their most popular song. It’s a song about desire, pining, and secrecy. It’s sexy and raw, and how Jungkook performs adds to the appeal. He caresses the mic stand as if it’s a lover, holds it to his body, and moves with purpose. Sometimes, Taehyung wonders who was on Jungkook’s mind when he wrote such passionate lyrics.

Taehyung remembers listening to the song for the first time. Jungkook had created a demo and confessed that Taehyung was the first person he’d shown it to. Sitting in Jungkook’s living room felt special. Their knees bumped into each other while they sat on his couch, hunched over Jungkook’s laptop. Jungkook stared up at Taehyung with stars in his eyes despite his nervousness as Taehyung listened to the song.

He felt that tingling sensation he often gets in his fingertips, like this was a special moment he needed to hold onto. He did his best to memorize the look on Jungkook’s face—pink cheeks, bunny teeth, and eyes swimming with adoration.

“I summoned you, please come to me. Don’t bury thoughts that you really want. I fill you up, drink from my cup. Within me lies what you really want.”

Taehyung closes his eyes as Jungkook’s voice filters through the car speakers. Jungkook is playing the song, even though they’ve performed it a million times, and Taehyung has the lyrics branded on his brain.

“In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night, just call my name, I’m yours to tame. In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night, I’m wide awake, I crave your taste.”

Taehyung may satisfy himself with liquor, but he swears he could get drunk off of Jungkook’s intoxicating voice.

“Hyung?”

Opening his eyes, Taehyung leans his head against the seat’s headrest and turns slightly to look at Jungkook. He can’t stop his eyes from zeroing in on Jungkook’s tongue, wiggling his lip piercing, even though he wants to. Not that it really matters or anything, of course. It doesn’t mean anything.

“Yeah?” Taehyung clears his throat, mouth suddenly dry.

Jungkook looks like he’s about to ask Taehyung something when a loud yawn interrupts the silence that had fallen between the two men. Turning away from Taehyung, Jungkook looks toward the back of the van.

In the rearview mirror, Taehyung can see Seokjin rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms.

“Are we so narcissistic that we’re listening to our own album right now?” Seokjin grumbles. He’s just being annoying; they often listen to their own music.

Taehyung does it because he is narcissistic, whereas Jungkook does it to either analyze its flaws or reminisce. Taehyung isn’t sentimental enough for either reason.

“Leave them alone,” Jimin mumbles from where his face is smashed into his pillow. “Jungkookie’s voice is pretty.”

Turning his attention to the road again, Taehyung finds that traffic has started moving. It’s relieving; the faster they get to the next gig, the sooner Taehyung can take a piss – and the sooner he can walk off whatever weird nerves have gotten stirred up in his stomach from the look Jungkook gives him as the song ends.

“Oh my god, hi, Kookie! I can’t believe I actually got to meet you. Wow, I, like, can’t breathe right now.”

A fan leans into Jungkook’s side with her hands wrapped around his bicep to hold herself steady as she wobbles on heels far too tall for a rock concert. Jungkook is still a little sweaty from Black Swan’s performance, and the fan’s body heat isn’t helping him cool down. Undeterred by the thin sheen of sweat on Jungkook’s body, the fan looks up at him through her copper-brown bangs and bats her fake eyelashes in what she probably thinks is coy flirtation.

In front of them, the fan’s friend is equally as starstruck to be in Jungkook’s presence. She fidgets with her phone in one hand and a thick black Sharpie marker in the other, switching the items back and forth. There’s a longing in her eyes as she watches her friend throw herself at Jungkook.

Jungkook recognizes that look in Sharpie Girl’s eyes and the feeling behind it. It’s the same longing he feels when he watches people effortlessly socialize with one another, like this copper-haired fan. For introverts like Jungkook and Sharpie Girl, making that first step toward talking to someone new can feel like the most painful thing in the world.

It just kind of sucks that to be successful in the music industry, Jungkook must always talk to strangers.

Tilting his chin, Jungkook blows a thick stream of smoke into the air and watches the summer night breeze take it away as the touchy fan continues showering him with superficial compliments. It’s a little after midnight. The bar they performed at has a decent-sized outdoor patio. The guys thought hosting an informal fan meet and greet after the show might be fun. It's nothing flashy, just a space for fans to hang out while the bandmates come down from the high of the performance before they continue partying for the night.

If it were up to Jungkook, he’d be soaking in a bubble bath. Unfortunately, Seokjin and Jimin are in charge of maintaining the band’s image, including socializing. They sit in one corner of the patio at a small round table littered with crushed beer cans, empty cocktail glasses, and cherry stems. They, too, speak with what Jungkook assumes are fans – or at least people with just as good a taste of music.

And then there’s Taehyung, who will go wherever the alcohol is.

Jungkook’s eyes naturally find Taehyung. He’s sitting on the metal railing that fences in the patio, elbows on his knees and a sweating beer in his hand. Taehyung dressed down today, wearing a plain black t-shirt tucked into straight-leg black jeans secured by a belt. Maybe to Taehyung, wearing plain clothes and his old Vans is considered lazy, but Jungkook thinks he looks good in anything.

Two guys Jungkook doesn’t recognize, likely fans, are talking to Taehyung. Every once in a while, Taehyung will grab onto the metal railing to hold himself in place while he throws his head back with laughter. Jungkook can’t help but smile when Taehyung’s wavy brown hair falls into his eyes, and he uses his pinky to swipe the strands away from his eyelashes.

“Can I have your autograph?”

Sharpie Girl’s question reminds Jungkook of his surroundings and the fact that he is, unfortunately, able to be perceived. A terrifying reality, truthfully.

“Uhh, yeah,” Jungkook mumbles, his brain skipping like a scratched vinyl when Taehyung suddenly turns his head and notices Jungkook staring.

Without missing a beat, Taehyung winks at him. The action is so quick that Jungkook would have missed it if he hadn’t been ogling him with wide eyes. By the time Jungkook’s brain reboots, Taehyung is back to talking to the fans hanging around him.

Fuck, something so simple shouldn’t have Jungkook feeling like a giggly teenager with a stupid crush, yet here he is, face flushed pink and hands clammy. He lifts his vape to his lips and inhales to calm himself down.

“What would you like me to sign?” Jungkook asks politely once he has slipped his vape into the pocket of his jeans. He has to remind himself that these girls are here for him, which means he needs to give them his full attention.

Sharpie Girl’s hands tremble when she gives Jungkook her Sharpie and cell phone, asking Jungkook to sign her phone case. It’s cute, considering Jungkook isn’t even famous . His autograph means nothing except for whatever Sharpie Girl decides it means – which must be a lot, considering how nervous she is. It’s endearing and makes Jungkook’s heart swell with affection for someone he doesn’t know. It’s sweet, almost even a bit naive.

Her friend, on the other hand, is an entirely different story. After handing Sharpie Girl’s phone back, the copper-haired fan tugs on the hem of Jungkook’s shirt.

“Me next,” she whines.

“Okay,” Jungkook says with a nod. “Want me to sign your phone, too?”

The fan’s smile curves into something conniving as she shakes her head. “No, I want you to sign my tits.”

“Emily!” Sharpie Girl whisper-yells and gives Jungkook an apologetic look. “You can’t just ask a guy to sign your tits!”

Emily rolls her eyes and swats at her friend’s hand when she tries to pull her away from Jungkook. “What? It’s just tits. I’m sure Kookie sees plenty.”

She’s wrong because Jungkook isn’t even remotely interested in seeing strangers’ tits, but he doesn’t say that. Instead, he wrinkles his nose at Emily in the way he knows people find endearing and tries not to sound too dead when he says, “Fuck yeah, let’s do it.”

Never in Jungkook’s life did he ever think he would find himself bending forward to sign his name across a fan’s cleavage as she pulls the collar of her shirt down to expose the top of her chest. As he steps back to examine the cursive swoops of “KOOKIE” written in bold ink across Emily’s tits, Jungkook wonders if he’s supposed to feel excited by this. He had to touch her bare skin to sign his stage name, seeing how her skin pebbled with goosebumps and her nipples hardened under her thin shirt. Is he supposed to feel something? Was this supposed to be sexy? He doesn’t know, and that frustrates him.

“Let’s take a picture,” Emily murmurs in Jungkook’s ear, pressing her body against him as she sticks out her arm to take a selfie.

Emily is attractive; Jungkook knows this. By society's standards, she looks cute next to him, maybe even hot, with big tits, plump lips, and eyes that would look pretty crying during sex. Jungkook knows all this objectively, but he doesn’t feel anything when Emily runs her hand down his thigh or presses her lips against the corner of his mouth when she snaps a second selfie.

Emily whispers in Jungkook’s ear that she wants to swallow his cock.

He doesn’t even know her.

“Jungkook, let’s go.” A hand decorated with numerous thin gold rings wraps around Jungkook’s wrist and roughly pulls him forward, forcing Emily to detach herself.

“Hey! We were talking,” Emily snaps like a wild animal trying to protect its kill from scavengers.

“And now you’re not.” Taehyung gives Emily a hard stare, making the poor girl back down almost immediately.

Jungkook’s cheeks burn from the inappropriate thoughts that run through his head about his bandmate, thoughts about Taehyung being possessive and using that stern voice on him. Ducking his head to avoid looking at the fans, Jungkook lets Taehyung drag him through the patio doors. As they enter the nightclub, Jungkook can hear Sharpie Girl hiss, “Emily, that was V.”

Maybe Emily and Sharpie Girl would have wanted to go home with Taehyung if Jungkook hadn’t ruined everything. The thought of Taehyung with some groupie sours Jungkook’s already confusing mood.

Strobe lights pulse overhead, flooding the dance floor in shades of blue and pink. Jungkook nearly slips on a wet spot on the floor, saved from falling flat on his ass by Taehyung’s arm wrapped around his waist.

“Careful, heodang,” Taehyung snickers and removes his arm.

Grabbing Taehyung’s bicep, Jungkook shoves him forward into the crowd. “Shut the fuck up, hyung. You know I don’t know what that means.”

Taehyung’s eyes sparkle in the club lights when he looks over his shoulder to laugh at Jungkook. It’s a mean laugh meant to make fun of him, but Jungkook feels nothing but affection bloom inside his chest. Taehyung looks irresistible, lit by the strobe lights, face flushed from alcohol.

“Let me teach you hangugeo like I been asking you to,” Taehyung challenges.

Jungkook waves him away, opting to bump their shoulders together and give Taehyung an annoyed pout instead of shouting his rebuttal over the loud music. He wants Taehyung to teach him Korean. The idea of being able to speak to Taehyung in his first language, the language he is most comfortable speaking in, makes Jungkook feel overwhelmingly soft for his friend. Not to mention that the language is also Jungkook’s heritage. Sadly, he’s too nervous to let Taehyung teach him. What if he’s not any good at it? He’ll feel stupid, and being stupid in front of Taehyung is the last thing he wants.

Reaching the bar counter, Jungkook leans against it while they wait for the bartender to finish pouring a row of shot glasses for a group of men standing beside them. One man overtly checks Jungkook out, his gaze lingering on Jungkook’s exposed midriff. Instinctually, Jungkook stands closer to Taehyung.

Taehyung rests his forearm on the bar counter and waves down a bartender. When he speaks, he does so sideways without looking at Jungkook. “What do you wanna drink?”

“I don’t know, whatever you’re drinking.”

“Vodka Red Bull.”

Jungkook fake gags. “You’re disgusting.”

This finally makes Taehyung look at Jungkook. He twists until his hip is propped against the counter. “Says the guy signing girls’ tits.”

The jab hurts more than it should, and Jungkook’s mouth drops in disbelief. “Excuse me? Do we need to talk about all the disgusting things you’ve done with female fans?”

Taehyung presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek and watches Jungkook momentarily. If he plans to say something, Jungkook will never know because the bartender returns with drinks and a pair of shot glasses. Taking one for himself, Taehyung hands the other shot of clear liquid to Jungkook, who accepts it hesitantly.

“It’s just vodka, relax,” Taehyung smirks when Jungkook sniffs the glass.

With a glare in Taehyung’s direction, Jungkook throws the shot back. Jungkook winces when the taste hits his tongue; Taehyung drinks liquor like water. He feels bad for drinking with Taehyung, but right now, the selfish part of him that wants to spend time with Taehyung overpowers the guilty part.

“If you can’t finish your drink, I’ll take it,” Taehyung offers with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I know how you get.”

“Is teasing me all you’re going to do all night, hyung?” Jungkook takes a gulp of his drink as if to say, ‘fuck you,’ but all he does is sputter when he immediately chokes on it.

Seeing Taehyung's lopsided grin is almost worth the embarrassment. “All I’m saying is you’re still a baby, alright? You don’t hold your liquor very well.” He reaches over to pinch Jungkook’s cheek. “Babyface Jeon. So fucking cute.”

Jungkook wants to say that after a certain point, Taehyung doesn’t do so great with his liquor either, but he keeps that to himself. He’s tired of thinking about the night Taehyung nearly put himself in the hospital from how much he’d been drinking. If Jungkook hadn’t found him passed out in the bathroom… well, he’s not sure what would have happened.

Blinking rapidly, Jungkook tilts his head up to stop himself from crying. Fuck, it usually takes more alcohol in his system before he starts getting like this.

“Aw, Koo, I’m sorry,” Taehyung apologizes, thinking what he said upset Jungkook. Someone bumps into him, jostling him forward until he’s suddenly in Jungkook’s space. “I’ll stop teasing you. Wanna go find Jimin or Jinnie hyung?”

Jungkook shakes his head, his shaggy bangs swaying across his forehead.

“Hmm, tell hyung what you want, and I’ll get it for you, okay?” Taehyung cocks his eyebrows over the rim of his glass as he sips his drink. Jungkook isn’t sure if it’s supposed to be flirty, but it sure as fuck feels like it when his stomach is doing cartwheels.

Taehyung confuses him.

Jungkook nods toward the packed dance floor. “I want to dance.”

Taehyung and Jungkook are on their third or fourth round of drinks – Taehyung can’t keep track – when Taehyung has an epiphany: Jungkook’s waist is tiny.

Taehyung has never noticed it before, and why would he have? It’s Jimin who fusses over Jungkook’s appearance. Taehyung and Seokjin are perfectly content with throwing on whatever clothes are clean and making it work because their faces speak for them louder than their clothes do.

But right now, Taehyung is noticing. And he’s paying very close attention.

Jungkook’s crisp white tank top is tight and cropped right above his belly button. Paired with low-rise jeans, Jungkook’s waist is on display for everyone to see how slim it is. Taehyung feels dizzy as Jungkook throws his arms over his shoulders and steps close enough that their bodies are nearly touching.

“Taehyungie,” Jungkook giggles in his ear, sufficiently drunk by now but not wasted.

Taehyung doesn’t know what’s so funny. Whatever it is has gone over his head; he’s too caught up staring at where his hands rest on Jungkook’s waist. His hands engulf Jungkook’s waist, fingers nearly touching as he wraps them around him. Taehyung knows he has large hands, but, fuck.

Jungkook’s skin is hot under Taehyung’s touch. When he lightly taps his fingertips against him, Jungkook sighs so quietly that Taehyung only hears it because his lips are still at Taehyung’s ear.

“Dance with me.”

The request is just as quiet as the soft sigh, spoken only loud enough for Taehyung to hear over the music right along the shell of his ear. Jungkook’s lips briefly brush against his skin, and Taehyung swears he can feel the shiver the sensation causes ripple down his body to his toes.

Suddenly, Jungkook twists in Taehyung’s grasp. His back presses firmly against Taehyung’s chest. When Jungkook sways his hips to the music, his ass drags back and forth across Taehyung’s crotch.

“Jungkook-ah,” Taehyung tries to scold sternly, but he’s appalled to hear his voice come out slurred and whiny.

With his chin tilted, Jungkook looks up at Taehyung with bright eyes barely tinged red, far more alert than Taehyung’s. He runs his hands down Taehyung’s forearms, stopping to rest them over Taehyung’s hands. Jungkook presses down, forcing Taehyung to tighten his grip on his waist. With his hands still holding Taehyung’s in place, Jungkook swirls his hips, grinding harder on Taehyung’s crotch.

Taehyung audibly sucks in air through his teeth.

Dancing like this isn’t unusual. Taehyung often finds a girl to grind with. He likes the way they feel pressed up against him, likes to skate his fingers along the smooth skin at their waist, grip their hip bones, and force their bodies to grind against him at the pace he wants. He likes reaching down to run his hands down their bodies and tease the sensitive skin of their inner thighs.

And then he likes to take them home and fuck them with the cock they’ve spent all night rubbing their asses against.

But Jungkook isn’t a girl, and he certainly isn’t a stranger – yet Taehyung tingles with an exhilarating warmth at every juncture where Jungkook’s body touches his.

“Yeah, hyung?” Jungkook’s lips stick to Taehyung’s sweaty skin as he speaks into the crook of his neck when he turns his head to the side. Jungkook lets go of Taehyung’s hands to lift his arms. He tugs on the nape of Taehyung’s neck, pulling him closer as he grinds against him.

Taehyung finds himself chasing the heat of Jungkook’s body, drawing him backward until their bodies are flush against each other, Taehyung nearly draped over him. He hooks his chin over Jungkook’s shoulder, tilting his head slightly to nuzzle his neck. Holding Jungkook against his body feels good. He’s warm and soft, and their bodies move as if they were made to fit together like this. In a way, Taehyung thinks they are. They’re best friends, aren’t they?

They are best friends who have grown apart, but Taehyung is drunk and doesn’t want to think about that. The club is warm hues smeared on a painter’s palette, pretty even if Taehyung’s brain is muddled.

Pretty like Jungkook, whose eyes flutter close and lips part when Taehyung presses against him. He would do anything for Jungkook, Taehyung realizes as he leans into him. It isn’t a new thought, but it hits him harder right now when he’s drunk and hot with pent-up energy and feelings he can’t sort out. All he knows is that he’s safe here, like Jungkook is a shield hiding him from the rest of the world. For these few minutes, there’s no one else at the club. No fans trying to fuck Jungkook while Taehyung is right there . No assholes making comments on whether two men should be dancing like this. No Jimin or Seokjin to overanalyze how Taehyung breathes in the comforting smell of Jungkook’s cologne. It’s just Taehyung and Jungkook giving each other light touches and speaking through shaky breaths that say more than any words could.

One of Taehyung’s hands slides down to squeeze Jungkook’s hip while his other slips beneath Jungkook’s cropped tank shirt, caressing the smooth skin just above his belly button.

When the music blasting through the club speakers shifts to something slow and sensual, Jungkook leans back to rest his head against Taehyung’s shoulder. With more skin exposed, Taehyung runs his nose up Jungkook’s neck. Once he reaches the soft spot at the corner of Jungkook’s jaw, just below his ear, Taehyung pauses to press his mouth against his skin. He doesn’t know why he does it; he just knows something about it seems fitting.

He feels Jungkook’s body shudder in his hold, and all Taehyung can think about is how hot it is that he can get that kind of response from him.

“Tae,” Jungkook moans, and the sound makes Taehyung feel like he’s going insane.

“Yeah?” Taehyung murmurs against Jungkook’s skin.

Jungkook turns his head to the side, bringing their faces directly in front of each other. They’re close enough that Jungkook’s nose bumps into his. When Jungkook inhales, his lips brush against Taehyung’s.

What the fuck are they doing?

Not only does the feeling of Jungkook’s lips on his catch Taehyung off guard, but it genuinely terrifies him when he feels hot pleasure shoot straight to his cock, and he starts throbbing in his pants.

It’s the moment Taehyung realizes he’s hard. He’s hard, and there’s no way Jungkook hasn’t noticed.

“Jungkook, stop.” Taehyung immediately steps back, putting much-needed space in between them. He inhales deeply, trying to calm the frantic beating of his heart, and fights the urge to adjust himself in his pants in front of everyone in the club.

Jungkook turns to face Taehyung, a deep pout already pulling down the corner of his pink lips. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s–?” Taehyung gives Jungkook an incredulous look. “What’s wrong? Jungkook, what’s wrong? ” Reaching down, he tugs at the thighs of his jeans, hoping to move the fabric into a more comfortable position without overtly touching his dick. “I think you know what the fuck is wrong.”

Jungkook’s eyes fall to Taehyung’s crotch. Taehyung doesn’t think his erection is noticeable but feels antsy anyway. This shouldn’t be happening to him. It can’t possibly be happening.

Opening his mouth, Taehyung stands there like a fish out of water. He swears people are looking at him now. He can’t actually tell, but he can feel their eyes on him. “I need to go.”

“Wait!” Jungkook snatches Taehyung’s wrist, but Taehyung twists his arm hard enough that Jungkook has to let go. “Hyung, please don’t leave. Just, can we just talk, please? Don’t leave!”

Taehyung considers staying. He could go back to the bar and order a couple more shots, down them back to back, and then find his hyungs. Seokjin would keep Taehyung’s mind off of whatever the fuck is going on inside his head right now. Jimin would know there’s something up and would press Taehyung about it, so he’s of no use.

Then again, if he stays, Jungkook is hot on his heels. Taehyung can hear him calling out to him, but his brain is buzzing so loudly that he can’t focus on anything but what’s directly in front of him.

Before he can reach the bar counter, Jungkook grabs a hold of the back of Taehyung’s t-shirt, right in between his shoulder blades. He yanks him backward, nearly causing Taehyung to fall.

“What the fuck, Jungkook?” Taehyung shouts, twisting around to get out of Jungkook’s hold.

Jungkook tightens his grip, bunching the fabric in his fist. “Don’t walk away from me, hyung,” he says in a demanding tone Taehyung has never heard him use before. It makes him sound older and harsher.

It doesn’t matter, though. Taehyung is drunk and undeterred.

“I’ll fucking walk away from you if I fucking want to, Jeon,” Taehyung bites back. He finally shrugs Jungkook off of him. “I’m going back to the hotel.”

“Then I’m going with you.”

“No, the fuck you aren’t,” Taehyung rushes to argue, suddenly nervous about the odd thrill that overcame him.

Having Jungkook follow him would be a bad idea. Taehyung is pissed off, at what, he’s not entirely sure. Regardless of the reason, Jungkook is irritating him. Being horny, tired, drunk, and confused isn’t a medley of emotions Taehyung would like to share with Jungkook right now. Or ever.

With narrowed eyes, Jungkook gets in Taehyung’s face with uncharacteristic aggression. “Yes. I. Am. You’re drunk, and I don’t trust you, hyung. I really don’t.”

Taehyung bites the inside of his cheek and looks away, finding a discarded lighter on the floor and keeping his attention on the lime-green plastic.

Untrustworthy; Taehyung has been called worse.

It still hurts. It hurts because Taehyung knows it's true.

The Uber ride to the hotel is awful.

Taehyung feels sick to his stomach the entire way, not because of the alcohol. He hasn’t consumed as much as Jungkook is making it out to seem, and, honestly, that’s the worst part of it. Taehyung is drunk but not so far gone that he lacks control. He knows he will remember everything that has transpired tonight down to minor details–like how Jungkook nervously bites at his lip piercing as they exit the Uber and enter the hotel lobby. He’ll remember how silent the elevator ride is, how Jungkook refuses to look at him, how he refuses to look at Jungkook. He’ll remember how Jungkook swats Taehyung’s shaking hands out of the way to unlock the hotel room himself.

But worst of all, he’ll remember how angry he gets when Jungkook says, “You’re always running away from everything, you know that, Taehyung?”

Without warning, Taehyung flattens his palms against Jungkook’s chest and shoves him backward, pushing him up against the door as it clicks shut.

“Say that again?” he hisses through his teeth. It’s too much, the pressure in his body. He feels like a bottle rocket with feelings so tightly compressed in his body that he knows he’ll soon explode.

“Stop it, hyung,” Jungkook challenges. His tone is biting, but his eyes have a watery glaze that is apparent even in the dimly-lit hotel room.

If Jungkook starts crying, Taehyung doesn’t know what he’ll do. He’s too drunk to handle the situation with the care that Jungkook deserves. Every one of his cells seethes with anger – anger at Jungkook for sticking his nose in Taehyung’s business, anger at himself for being such a fuck-up, anger at the universe for dealing Taehyung the cards that it did and then punishing him for being unable to handle them.

So he drinks and tries to pretend he’s not hurting.

“You just have to care, don’t you?”

“Of course I fucking care!”

Taehyung takes a step forward, crowding Jungkook against the door. His forearms rest on either side of Jungkook, just above his shoulders. Their height difference was always something Taehyung liked to tease Jungkook about, even though the difference was honestly minimal. Now, Taehyung takes advantage of that extra inch or two as he cages Jungkook in.

“I really wish you wouldn’t,” Taehyung murmurs as he leans forward. Jungkook is breathing hard now. Taehyung peers between their bodies to watch his chest rapidly rise and fall.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to care about you, hyung?” Jungkook stares up at Taehyung with big doe eyes that sparkle with unshed tears in the bed lamp's warm glow.

Shaking his head slowly, Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut. He’s off-centered from drinking, and it’s harder to steady himself with his eyes closed. But then he feels Jungkook’s fingers twist into the front of his shirt, and Taehyung allows himself to tip all the way forward.

“Koo,” Taehyung murmurs as he presses his forehead against Jungkook’s. “I don’t fucking deserve you.” Their noses brush against each other, and he can feel Jungkook’s breath dust across his lips, much like he had at the club.

“Hyung…” Jungkook’s tongue slips from between his lips to wiggle his piercing.

“Yeah?” Taehyung’s eyes drop to follow the movement when he pulls back slightly, unconsciously licking his lips. He feels like he can’t breathe. What little air is left in Taehyung’s chest is punched out the moment Jungkook speaks.

“Can you… will you kiss me?”

Taehyung feels every neuron go off in his brain like little electric shocks lighting up the inside of his head with the strobe lights of the nightclub. He stares at Jungkook, unblinking, with his lips slightly parted as he inhales sharply.

“You want me to…” Taehyung quietly trails off, his eyes locked on Jungkook’s pretty lips.

“Kiss me, Tae,” Jungkook pleads. He tilts his chin slightly as he gently tugs on Taehyung’s shirt. It isn’t forced; Jungkook is letting Taehyung make the decision for himself.

Can he? Does he want to? There isn’t time to consider what it would mean.

Releasing a shaky exhale, Taehyung tilts his head just a fraction to the right, bumping his nose against Jungkook’s in the slow movement. He can hear Jungkook’s breathing hitch, and something about that small sound makes the situation's urgency crash onto Taehyung like ice water flooding his lungs. The burning heat he’d felt nuzzling into Jungkook’s neck on the dance floor reignites at the sound of Jungkook’s quiet breathing as he waits in anticipation for what Taehyung will do.

Taehyung would do anything for Jungkook.

With both hands pressing against the door and his body slightly bent forward, Taehyung wets his lips a final time before pressing them against Jungkook’s.

When Jungkook whimpers into Taehyung’s mouth the moment their lips meet, Taehyung realizes that he isn’t only doing this for Jungkook. Arousal pools in Taehyung’s stomach as Jungkook continues whimpering, so high-pitched and depraved that Taehyung feels his cock twitch in his jeans.

Jungkook lets go of Taehyung’s shirt to flatten his hand against his chest. It makes Taehyung nervous because he knows Jungkook will be able to feel how frantically his heart is beating as their lips find a rhythm just as quickly as their bodies had on the dance floor. However, it seems Jungkook doesn’t care how pathetic Taehyung’s heart may be. He keeps one hand against Taehyung’s chest and brings his other to Taehyung’s curls – and tugs.

“Fuck, Jungkook,” Taehyung moans against Jungkook’s lips at the feeling of his blunt nails digging into his scalp.

Using another tug as a distraction, Jungkook slips his tongue into Taehyung’s open mouth. It brings out another moan from Taehyung, muffled and stemming from deep inside his chest. The kiss is tame by Taehyung’s standards, even with Jungkook swirling his tongue around Taehyung’s. It isn’t until Jungkook pulls back slightly to suck Taehyung’s bottom lip into his mouth that Taehyung’s thoughts become static, and he completely loses himself.

Adjusting his stance, Taehyung presses his thigh between Jungkook’s legs, faltering slightly when he feels Jungkook’s hardening cock brush against his. Jungkook notices it, too, and bucks against Taehyung, forcing more friction and making Taehyung shudder. He lets go of Taehyung’s shirt to slide his hand around his waist. Taehyung isn’t expecting it when Jungkook grabs his ass, squeezing the toned muscle to pull him forward.

“Touch me,” Jungkook begs, his lips ghosting over Taehyung’s when he pulls back to speak. “Please, Tae. I can’t let anyone else do it.”

Taehyung doesn’t know what Jungkook means by his confession, but the pain in his voice is enough to make Taehyung jump into the line of fire if that is what Jungkook wants him to do.

“Where?” Taehyung has to ask. He has to hear Jungkook say it, not only to make it real but to guide him because no matter how strongly Taehyung’s body is reacting to all of this, he’s in uncharted territory.

Jungkook stares at Taehyung with eyes too innocent for what they’re doing as he wraps his fingers around Taehyung’s wrist and brings Taehyung’s hand to press against the bulge in his jeans.

“Here.”

Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a deep breath. He gives himself a moment before opening his eyes again. With shaking hands, he unzips Jungkook’s jeans. But when he reaches for the waistband of his briefs, he stops.

The fucking Calvin Klein briefs, fucking hell. What the fuck.

“I…” Taehyung swallows, eyes darting up to stare into Jungkook’s. If his heart could beat out of his chest, it would have been flopping around on the floor already.

“Please,” Jungkook whispers.

Taehyung nods. He doesn’t look away from Jungkook’s face as he pulls down Jungkook’s jeans and briefs just far enough down past his waist to release his cock completely.

Touching another man is anti-climactic. Taehyung thought the world might end, that somehow his father would come kicking down the door to call him a faggot and tell all his friends. It’s irrational, but the fear is there – this fear that he shouldn’t be doing this, that it’s wrong because Jungkook is his friend and he’s a man.

But nothing happens. Taehyung runs his finger up the length of Jungkook’s cock while he watches Jungkook’s wide eyes flutter close and his lips part, and it feels good to make Jungkook feel good.

Touching Jungkook is exhilarating.

When Taehyung looks down, something electric shoots through his body when he sees his hand holding Jungkook. It’s his hand circling Jungkook’s shaft, his hand slowly dragging up the length. He runs his thumb along the head of Jungkook’s cock, spreading precum around the tip. He feels the muscle twitch in his hand when his thumb swipes across the slit a second time to gather more.

Taehyung’s heart is pounding in his head. He can’t hear anything except the whimpering moans Jungkook makes every time Taehyung swirls his thumb in circles.

“Want you, too,” Jungkook mumbles. He weaves his arms with Taehyung’s to reach his pants’ zipper.

“What?” Taehyung gasps when Jungkook squeezes his cock through his jeans. “You what?”

“You’re hard.” It’s a statement, not a question.

Taehyung wets his lips and nods. It doesn’t matter that his words get caught in his throat because Jungkook doesn’t wait to hear what he has to say.

“We’ve got pent-up energy,” Jungkook says with a rushed exhale. “We… just… gotta get it… out.” His fingers tremble so intensely that he struggles for a bit before managing to pop free the button of Taehyung’s pants.

Taehyung lets out a low groan when Jungkook shoves his jeans down until the waistband sits just below the curve of his ass.

Jungkook’s fingers wrap around Taehyung’s wrist, guiding Taehyung’s hand to his own cock while he bucks his hips. The sound he makes when their bare cocks touch is something Taehyung wishes he could burn into his brain. Taking the hint, Taehyung spits into his palm and takes hold of both their cocks in his hand. He fucks up into his hand, rubbing his cock against Jungkook’s. He realizes he doesn’t know if Jungkook has ever done this before. They’ve never discussed Jungkook’s sexuality explicitly, but Taehyung has always assumed Jungkook is straight.

“Like this?” Taehyung asks, hoping he sounds more thoughtful than insecure.

“Y-yeah, like that.” Jungkook leans back against the door, jutting his hips out as Taehyung jerks them off simultaneously.

The angle is awkward, and the slide is a bit dry, but the novelty of the sensation is enough to fray every one of Taehyung’s nerves. He’s dizzy from Jungkook’s breathy sounds, his warmth, the closeness of their bodies, and the way Taehyung could completely get lost in him – drunk or not.

Pulling Taehyung from his thoughts, Jungkook leans forward and lets a stream of saliva drop between them.

“Jesus Christ, Jungkook,” Taehyung curses, his face aflame with heated embarrassment as he uses the extra lubrication to improve the glide of his hand over their cocks. Maybe he’s not having a total mental breakdown, but he’s nervous as fuck. It’s weird because Taehyung is always so good at sex.

This isn’t sex, though, he reminds himself. He and Jungkook are not having sex right now.

“What?” Jungkook’s cheeky smile shouldn’t be as endearing as it is, especially for what they’re doing.

“I don’t know; warn me next time?”

Jungkook bites his lip, and Taehyung doesn’t pick up on the fact that he has just confirmed to Jungkook that there will be a next time.

“Maybe,” Jungkook says smugly, the end of the word dissolving into a moan when Taehyung twists his wrist.

Taehyung rubs his free hand along Jungkook’s abdomen, appreciating how flat and toned his stomach is. He can feel the tension of his muscles as they flex every time Taehyung squeezes the head of Jungkook’s cock. Maybe he’s actually kind of good at this shit. Who would have thought?

“Tae, oh fuck,” Jungkook whimpers. His head slides forward until his face presses into the crook of Taehyung’s neck.

“I got you; it’s okay. Hyung’s got you.”

The glide of Jungkook’s cock against Taehyung’s is smooth and warm. At this point, he doesn’t even need more spit to help; they’re both wet enough on their own.

Jungkook begins to thrust into Taehyung’s hand frantically. “Taehyung, h-hyung, please.”

“Yeah?” Taehyung groans.

He squeezes Jungkook’s waist with his free hand and uses his hold to press Jungkook firmly against the door. It’s easier to jerk them off if Jungkook stays still, but that’s proving difficult for him.

Jungkook throws one arm around Taehyung’s neck and digs his fingers into the back of his shirt. He tugs on the fabric so tightly that Taehyung worries he might rip it, but Taehyung doesn’t let up as he pumps his fist along their cocks.

“Tae-ah, ah, ahh.”

Jungkook buries his face in the crook of Taehyung’s neck even deeper. Taehyung can feel Jungkook’s opened lips press against him, turning the skin on his neck hot and moist from his breath.

“Tae, I’m gonna, gonna come,” Jungkook cries. It’s muffled against Taehyung’s skin, but Taehyung knows.

He can feel Jungkook pulse before warmth oozes between Taehyung’s fingers. It makes his movements even slicker, heightening the feeling for himself as he continues fisting their cocks together. Jungkook wiggles in Taehyung’s grasp from the overstimulation, eventually pulling away right when Taehyung throws his head back.

Taehyung’s mouth falls open in a silent moan as he finishes himself off with his eyes squeezed shut. As he comes, Jungkook holds the side of his face, sliding his palm up so his fingers can brush Taehyung’s bangs away from his sweaty forehead.

“You’re pretty, hyung,” Jungkook whispers, and Taehyung makes a choked sound.

“T-thanks,” he stutters. “You too, Koo.”

Jungkook runs his thumb along the apple of Taehyung’s cheek and gives him a small smile. The soft gesture threatens to push Taehyung over the edge emotionally, and he suddenly feels like he might start crying.

“Jungkook,” he begins to speak without knowing where he’s trying to go, still caught up in how Jungkook’s eyes sparkle and his lips are bitten, swollen, and red.

Before either of them can say more, Jungkook’s body trembles from the vibration of someone pounding on the other side of the door.

“Jungkookie! Taehyung-ah! We’re going out for burgers!”

Seokjin’s shouting snaps Taehyung out of the postcoital trance Jungkook managed to put him in. Blinking, he stares down at the mess he and Jungkook have made all over his black t-shirt.

“Get your asses out here right now!” Seokjin hollers, banging on the door again. It’s entirely too late for him to be making so much noise, but from the sound of his voice, he’s a bit tipsy, too.

“We’re coming, hyung!” Jungkook shouts back, and Taehyung tries not to think about how true that statement is. They definitely did come. All over the fucking place.

The fear of Seokjin busting through the door throws Taehyung and Jungkook into action. Taehyung rips his shirt off and uses it to clean them up. It’s rushed aftercare, which is what Taehyung is used to, but something feels wrong about scrambling to get fresh clothes on with very few words passing between the two of them aside from an occasional, “Here, let me fix your hair,” and, “Use my cologne; you smell like sweat.”

They didn’t have sex, though, so it’s okay. Jerking someone off isn’t sex. It was a release for pent-up energy, just like Jungkook said.

Catching sight of himself in the mirror, Taehyung is surprised by his lively appearance. He’s still a little drunk, but his eyes are clear. There’s a small red patch of skin like a flower in bloom in the crook of his neck. When Taehyung tugs down on the collar of his new t-shirt to inspect the mark, he meets Jungkook’s eyes through the mirror.

“Oops,” Jungkook says with a smirk, making Taehyung’s stomach swoop. With his hand on the doorknob, Jungkook leans into the doorway and looks like the epitome of comfort. “Come on, hyung. Let’s go.”

Taehyung would be a liar if he said he didn't do whatever Jungkook wanted him to do.

@rkiveslibrary @mar-lo-pap @remmykinsff @likecrazy22 @jaemayy

#bts fanfic #taekook fanfic #taekook au #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #taekook angst #taekook smut #taekook fluff #taehyung x jungkook #keep singing this lie #gimmethatagustd

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