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cautious-soup · 1 month ago

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an 'interview' part 2

Full-length sequel to the suberbattionson drabble I wrote months ago. They finally fuck. Enjoy!

Metropolis sounded different from Gotham. One sung, the other rumbled. Usually, all Clark could fixate on in any city he visited was the shroud of noise.

But now?

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Mr. Wayne's heartbeat, he'd been fixated on it since they met up. His voice too, albeit less so. It was softer around the edges than Clark had expected.

The elevator began moving, and Clark swallowed. His tie felt too tight, the hotel was stuffier than anything he was used to. He was sure the earlier comment was a joke—though the Gotham Gazette wasn't shy about putting Mr. Wayne's various trysts on display. But Clark suspected it was all a facade, and wanted to interview Mr. Wayne to unearth something true. Something real.

Everything in Old Gotham felt stuck in the Gilded Age, including Mr. Wayne, who seemed to don some Gatsby-like personality. He exuded charm, but something about it was off. The only real thing about the man Clark had observed so far was his heartbeat.

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The elevator stopped on the top floor, and Mr. Wayne led them down to the end of the hall, opening the door to the hotel room.

The first thing Clark noticed was how huge the bed was.

The second thing he noticed was the selection of alcohol.

"How do you want me?" Mr. Wayne asked.

Clark blinked, "Ah, the—" he looked around the room, zeroing in on two ornate armchairs by a window, "Over there works,"

A beat passed, and Mr. Wayne nodded, walking slowly towards the seats, shedding his jacket. Clark took a moment to compose himself, and followed him over. He had to move his own chair back a bit to keep his knees from bumping the small tea table between them. He felt acutely aware of the other man's eyes on him, a kind of focused heat that he couldn't shake. It was one thing to be stared at, but to be stared at by someone so…

"Right, any topics you'd like me to shy away from?" Clark asked.

"Ah, no, anything goes," Mr. Wayne said.

Clark smiled, "Great," and fished his recorder out of his bag.

The air around them seemed to take a breath, right before he hit the button to start recording. Their eyes met, and Mr. Wayne's gaze was expectant of…something. Clark would've stared longer if he could, but that hardly would've been appropriate. He cleared his throat, opening his note pad.

INTERVIEWER: Well, first off Mr. Wayne I just want to thank you for taking time out of your hectic schedule to meet with me here.

WAYNE: Oh, please don't thank me, I'm thankful to be here.

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INTERVIEWER: That's great to hear—really um, so Gotham…crazy huh?

Clark squeezed his eyes shut, reaching out to pause the recording, "Sorry, uh, I don't know what that was," he sighed.

Mr. Wayne chuckled, "Well, that's how most conversations about this place start, and for good reason," his gaze slid up Clark's frame, "You seem tense,"

"Oh—I'm not," Clark waved a hand, "I'm fine,"

The heartbeat was distracting, more than what was normal for Clark. Something about it made it hard to focus.

"Take two then?" Mr. Wayne asked.

Clark swallowed, "Yeah, take two,"

He pushed the button on the recorder again.

INTERVIEWER: So, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that Gotham's been put through the wringer lately.

WAYNE: Not at all, we're all still reeling from the 2022 attacks, the flooding. I think it's been wonderful to see the city come together through it all, though.

INTERVIEWER: Yes, the rest of the country seems to agree. And you, Mr. Wayne, people say you've kind of abandoned your reclusive nature to…ugh

"Sorry," Clark said, "Didn't mean to call you a recluse,"

"Trust me I've been called worse," Mr. Wayne said.

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Clark tugged at his shirt collar, and pretended to miss the way Mr. Wayne's eyes snapped toward the action, "Gee, sorry I think I am a bit tense—couldn't tell you why,"

"Perhaps a drink would loosen you up?" Mr. Wayne asked lightly.

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"Oh no—not that—it's very nice of you to offer but I uh, it takes a lot for me to," Clark gestured about nonsensically, "I've got an iron stomach," he knocked at his abdomen, and immediately wanted to sink into the ground. Why was he such a wreck? Mr. Wayne was hardly the first famous person he'd interviewed.

"Of course, I'd hate to impose," Mr. Wayne said. There it was again, though, that odd tone of voice from the lobby.

"Then, three times the charm?" Clark offered. Mr. Wayne gave him the go-ahead, and adjusted his posture as Clark pressed the record button once more, and met the other man's even gaze.

INTERVIEWER: The uh, the general public seems to agree that you've really come through on the flooding incident, Mr. Wayne. They’ve warmed up to you as much as you have to them.

WAYNE: Yes, yes I'd agree—I was a bit awkward beforehand I'll admit. This will sound strange but at the time, I wasn't sure what Gotham needed.

INTERVIEWER: And you're sure now?

WAYNE: Well, I suppose I'll be honest and say I'm 'less unsure', I at least know what general direction to go in.

INTERVIEWER: Ah, you said in an interview with the Gazette just this May that Gotham needed a sense of direction more than anything?

WAYNE: Yes. The city's been in a spiral for too long now.

INTERVIEWER: Hm. And what direction specific—

WAYNE: What did you say your name was?

INTERVIEWER: …sorry?

WAYNE: Your name, what was your name?

INTERVIEWER: Uh, Clark, Clark Kent.

WAYNE: Wonderful, Clark. While we're on the topic you can just call me Bruce, as well. Mr. Wayne isn't something I'd like to be called for another few decades.

CLARK: Oh, yes of course.

BRUCE: And, to answer your question, I'd like to think that Gotham is already heading in a better direction, away from fear.

CLARK: Fear?

BRUCE: Fear, and not just of crime. There's fear in all aspects of living here has

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BRUCE: Clark?

CLARK: Sorry—

BRUCE: Pardon my bluntness but, you seem like you've been somewhere else since we arrived here.

CLARK: Yes, you could say that

BRUCE: I certainly hope I don't come off as intimidating.

CLARK: No not at all Mr—Bruce, you're very approachable.

BRUCE: …

CLARK: Heh, why don't I just restart th—

BRUCE: Well, I suppose it can't be helped. It's a little silly to keep up this act, isn't it?

CLARK: Act? I'm…not sure what you mean by that, Bruce.

BRUCE: Oh. Well, I thought I made my intentions clear in the lobby.

CLARK: Your…you mean that aside was

BRUCE: An attempt at flirting, yes.

CLARK: Flirting…

BRUCE: Hm, I'm sure this isn't the first time someone's made such a bold advance towards you.

CLARK: Bruce you're uh, I think it'd be best if you sat back down so we could…finish the interview…

BRUCE: Yes, that would be best, wouldn't it?

CLARK: Yeah…oh wow…

BRUCE: I think we could finish it if I sit down here, don't you?

CLARK: Well—I don't usually interview people who sit…on my lap, oh geez—

BRUCE: Like this then? You'll be able to take notes better right?

CLARK: Ngh, Bruce—

BRUCE: Hm, on second thought this seems to be even more distracting…though if this is any indication you don't seem to mind.

CLARK: Ugh, hohmygoodness Bruce um—it'll be hard for you to, hah, answer questions with your mouth…occupied…

BRUCE: Mmm, yufinksho?

CLARK: Hhh, oh god, sorry can I…put my hands…?

BRUCE: Mhm

CLARK: Thank…thank you, ngh.

Clark let his head fall back against the armchair, thighs flinching under Bruce's hands. He tangled his fingers in the other man’s black locks, trying to keep his grip light.

"Ffff—UCK-" But given the exceptional skill of the mouth on him at the moment, it was proving to be difficult.

Clark chanced a glance down at Bruce. Bruce Wayne. The richest man in Gotham, the—man he should've seen this coming—playboy, billionaire, on his knees, with his lips around his cock.

Clark was starting to feel light headed. Just moments ago they were having a normal interview, right? But god, his mouth, that tongue.

"Bruce," Clark angled his hips up, air pushing between his lips in strangled moans, "That's-that's really good,"

Bruce squeezed his thighs, and slurped down the remainder of his length, leaving Clark wide-eyed and breathless. His hands trembled, bracing harder on Bruce's head, he felt his glasses sliding down his nose. Even with his mouth full, Bruce found a way to smirk up at him.

Clark's hips bucked, and Bruce moaned, a low purr that twined around his shaft. Clark looked down, finding a bulge straining against the other man's slacks, and brought his shin forward. He gasped, letting his head fall back again as Bruce shamelessly ground against it.

"So good, it's so good Bruce," Clark moaned, squeezing his eyes shut, "I think—I think I'm close,"

"Mhmm?" Bruce hummed in a question, running his tongue along the underside of Clark's shaft. Clark nodded, "Yes, close—"

Bruce pulled off abruptly, "Pardon me, Clark, but if you're going to finish it won't be in my mouth,"

Clark deflated slightly, but immediately perked back up as Bruce stood, fiddling in his jacket and producing a condom from the inside pocket.

"…you never planned on giving me an interview, did you," Clark asked breathlessly, watching Bruce undo his belt. The other man glanced up at him, smirked, but didn't say anything.

"Can you…come here?" Clark asked, scooting back a bit in the armchair. Bruce, stripped down to his briefs, straddled Clark's lap. He watched halfway toward awe as Bruce situated himself, brushed his hair back from his face, sat up and reached behind himself with lubed fingers. His abdomen was streaked with scars—a sight that Clark would've taken note of if he weren't so catastrophically horny at the moment.

Clark was content to watch, really, but Bruce's mouth still looked wet, and used, like it needed to be occupied. He leaned up slightly in a question. Bruce looked down at him, and answered, sealing their mouths together. Clark moaned, wrapping his arms around Bruce's middle, keening as the other man's hand made its way up towards his scalp, twining around his curls.

Eventually, Clark's hands made their way down Bruce's sides, and he slipped one down the back of his briefs. Bruce's breath hitched as Clark's fingers nudged his, sliding inside to take their place. He arched back and down onto Clark's fingers, panting and tightening his fist in Clark's hair. Clark pulled away from Bruce's mouth, kissing the side, then further down, shivering at the scrape of stubble against his nose, the scars, at the scent of pine, the musk of sweat.

He nosed Bruce's sternum, planting a kiss there, before latching onto his nipple. Bruce's other hand came up to grasp the nape of Clark's neck, bringing his mouth forward.

"Ready, I'm ready," Bruce panted. Clark nodded dazedly, helping Bruce shimmy out of his briefs. Noticing that Bruce was the only one naked, Clark went to remove his tie, but Bruce stopped him.

"Keep it on, all of it," he said, though he tugged at Clark's tie to loosen it a bit, and pushed Clark’s glasses back up his nose. Clark swallowed, but nodded, watching Bruce kick off his briefs. He felt his mouth water at the sight of the other man's cock. Next time.

Next time? Would there be a next time?

Before Clark had the chance to get anxious about it, Bruce gripped his shaft, rolling on the condom and pressing Clark's tip against his hole. Clark whimpered, sitting up and pushing his hips upward. Bruce pushed him back forcefully against the chair, blue eyes darkened with lust.

"Stay," he said. Clark nodded, breathing coming out in huffs as Bruce sank down onto his cock.

"Ghhh, ungh," Clark gasped, hands gripping onto Bruce's sides. Bruce ran his hands up and down Clark's chest with placating reverence, purposefully letting the tips of his fingers slide over his nipples. They sat there for a moment, panting and shifting, thighs burning, looking at each other with half-focused eyes.

"Puh," Clark swallowed down a breath, already feeling like he'd run a marathon, "Please—Bruce, god please move,"

Bruce chuckled, and Clark watched the muscles in his thighs shift as he raised himself up, then slammed back down. He kept his hand braced on Clark's shoulder, and the other on his bicep, setting his own pace. Clark could only watch, watch Bruce's dark hair fall in front of his eyes, watch his cock bounce, his muscles shift with effort under his pale skin. He gripped Bruce's hips tighter, "God, Bruce,"

All the while, Bruce's heartbeat pounded in Clark's ears. He looked up, finding Bruce's eyes closed, and took the moment to look at him deeper. Using his x-ray vision, Clark looked through Bruce's chest, seeing the man's heart pumping, his lungs working. Then, further down, he saw the outline of his cock pushing into Bruce's body. Clark angled his hips slightly, and Bruce moaned loudly as his cock pushed against his prostate.

Clark felt his jaw tense, and he gripped Bruce's hips, angling him back. Bruce fumbled for a moment, before wrapping both of his arms around Clark's shoulders, mouth falling open and eyes rolling back as Clark pounded against his prostate with pinpoint accuracy.

"Oufu—fuck Clark oh my god," Bruce moaned. The two made eye contact again, and Clark surged forward, pushing his tongue past Bruce's lips. Eventually they slid out of the chair. Clark was on his knees, and Bruce's legs made their way around his waist. Clark braced an arm on the floor, and wrapped another around Bruce's lower back, keeping the same pace, pulling back to watch Bruce's ruined face twist in pleasure. He groaned, thighs quaking as his orgasm barreled closer and closer.

Bruce tightened his legs around Clark until their hips were flush, tangling both of his hands in his hair, "God—I'm close,"

"You are?" Clark asked, his glasses slipping down his nose. Bruce nodded, biting his bottom lip, "You?"

Clark whimpered, "Mhm, mhm yeah I…Bruce—" his arm gave, and he collapsed, groaning as his hips stuttered. He fumbled between them, gripping Bruce's cock and pumping frantically, making the other man's head fall back against the floor.

"God fuck!" Bruce yelled as they both came apart together, ropes of cum shooting through Clark's grip. Clark bought his hand up to his mouth, running his tongue over the mess and groaning as he emptied inside Bruce.

He fell forward, legs still shaking, still spilling into the condom. Bruce's moans dissipated into ragged pants, his own legs unraveling from Clark's waist.

"…you weigh a ton," Bruce managed after a moment.

"Oh—m'ssorry," Clark slurred, rolling off of Bruce. They both laid there for a while, panting and staring at the ceiling.

"Uh," Clark started, but Bruce stood.

Clark felt panic rise in his throat, and bolted upright, only to find Bruce making himself comfortable on the bed.

He rolled his shoulders, and glanced at Clark, quirking a brow, "Well? This bed is huge, it'd be a shame to let it go to waste. Plus, the floor is too hard on my back,"

Clark fumbled for a response, but stood. "Uh, if we're gonna…continue can I take off my clothes? …Please?"

Bruce huffed a laugh, settling back against the pillows, "Yes, though the glasses, those stay on,"

Clark smiled shakily, hiding his relief, "Great, heh," and stripped down until he was in nothing but his boxers, face heating under the other man’s gaze.

"Now," Bruce breathed, "Come here."

And Clark did.

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A/N: Thank you for reading! Sorry this took so long to write, I just wanted to wait until I saw Superman before I wrote another part. Bruce is still a bit OOC tbh since in Batman 2022 he's a bit awkward, but I tried to work around it. Please let me know if you want a continuation :)

#superman 2025 #batman 2022 #fanfiction #fanfic #fic writing #ao3 #battinson #corensupes #superbattinson #bruce wayne #clark kent #dc #dcu #dc universe #interview #minors do not interact #minors dni #not safe for minors #not safe for kids

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cautious-soup · 2 months ago

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Fluffybolts: Or the Fic where they get turned into animals*

Yes I wrote this. It took like 2 weeks and more drafts than I care to admit. Only Yelena, Ava, Bob and John are transformed, needed a human interaction dynamic so the others stay the same. Nothing really happens except for them all being animals and Bucky being really, really tired. He's so tired. Pray for him. Also Alexei is in supreme dad mode.

Enjoy!

It's uncanny, to say the least.

There's nothing particularly odd about a rooster, a guinea pig, a cat, and a dog in a room together. But when those animals all have the unmistakable gleam of human sapience behind their eyes, it's…disquieting.

"You said the rooster was John?" Val asks, pressing two fingers against her temple.

Bucky shakes his head, "No, no that's Bob. The shepherd is John."

He nods to the German shepherd padding across the infirmary to the bed Alexei is in. He places his paws up on it, nosing at his boot. Alexei, cradling a blonde guinea pig in his arms, sits up to acknowledge him.

"Well, I have to say the kid had a good sense for their character," Val snorts. Bucky shoots her a look, and she rolls her eyes, "Please. This could be worse, I think. I don't really know or care about the intricacies of the freak shows you all deal with on a daily basis."

She flinches, then frowns down at the fluffy gray cat walking through her legs. Literally through them, passing through her shins.

"This one's Ava then, cute. I should get a cat." Val ponders.

Mel perks up at that, and looks down at her iPad, probably to jot the comment down in her notes app.

It all happened so fast. Bucky had watched it all unfold from behind the signing table. He didn't even know why he was there— given that even 10 year olds knew that he was the guy who killed JFK, among other things. It wasn't a mission, or a press conference. Instead, it was a meet and greet with their younger fans to salvage their ever-in-a-dumpster-fire PR. Given that they all look like the old Avengers got back from a Deftones concert, fans under 13 years old were lacking. The largest demographic in their base is edgy teenagers, so Val suggested (ordered) the meet and greet to give them more kid friendly publicity.

The kid, Grace, came up the line about half-way through the event, clutching a black rabbit for some reason. She'd grinned up at Yelena, teeth clad in braces, hair done up in afro-puffs with New Avengers themed hairpins. Most of their merch came in the form of those products you see hanging off of plastic mesh in the middle of grocery store aisles—plastic bowls, plastic cups, plastic orange mini-figures…a lot of plastic.

"Hello," Yelena had said, smiling and crouching down to be at eye-level. She'd looked over the kid's shoulder, then back at her, "Where are your parents?"

Grace grinned, "My daddy's right here," she held up the rabbit. It looked at her with a strangely human 'it is what it is' expression. It didn't seem alarmed, and the girl didn't seem alarmed, so Yelena just went about business as usual. She'd take a few pictures with the kid, then direct her to security to help her find her parents.

But then Bob walked over and, seeing the rabbit, stopped what he was doing to walk over and pet it. John, who was letting a kid hold his shield, glanced over at them too.

"Is that a rabbit?" Ava asked, coming back from finishing a selfie with an elated pre-teen girl. Grace nodded, "Mhm, it's my daddy,"

Ava glanced at Yelena, who'd shrugged, "We take pictures then take her to security, hm?"

So, since they all had a moment (the fans only came in groups of two or three, it wasn't that busy), they all decided to take a picture with Grace, who seemed ready to burst with excitement.

And she did.

Well, maybe she didn't burst, but there was a burst—a sudden explosion of pink smoke. Alexei, who'd been taking a well timed smoke break, came back to find Grace, a naked and bewildered man who started apologizing to Bucky on her behalf, and four animals sitting in empty piles of clothes and armor. They didn't have time to figure out who'd seen what, and rushed the four transformed teammates back to the Watchtower.

Turns out, the rabbit actually was her dad.

Now, Bucky tenses a bit as Ava walks through his shins to the bed next to Alexei's where Bob sits. "Banner should be here in a few hours," he said.

"PuKAWK," Bob sqwacks, flapping his wings. Ava jumps up onto the bed and sniffs at him. There’s a lot of sniffing going on.

"Is there any way we can figure out what they're trying to say?" Mel asks, scratching behind John's ear. Bucky shrugs, walking over to the bed and sitting down. He holds out a hand, and Bob pecks at it in a pattern.

"'SOS' is the only morse code you know, isn't it," Bucky asks flatly. Bob stops pecking and bobs his head in a nod.

Bucky purses his lips, "Right," before standing, "Mel can they use your iTablet?"

"iPad, and yeah." she says, swiping on it before setting it on the floor. Ava and John were at it first, with Ava bunting John's snout out of the way before carefully pressing her right paw on the keyboard.

fbix soom,?

"We dunno how long it's gonna take to fix this. Grace won't talk." Bucky says.

"Oh, she's been talking," Val says, "But since she's six the only thing she wants to talk about is slime videos and LOL Surprise dolls,"

"We know she meant no harm at least," Alexei says, stroking Yelena's golden fur, "Just very excited to meet my strong and smart children. Is understandable,"

"Well, this is a great opportunity to capitalize on the whole 'unregistered enhanced persons' topic now isn't it?" Val says, turning to Mel, "Draft up some tweets about that for me will you? Skirt on the line between concerned and inflammatory," she said, striding out of the infirmary.

"Uh, technically they're 'xeets' now Val," Mel says, hurrying after her.

Ava was still pressing her paw insistently against the iPad.

humgy

"Right," Bucky says, scratching the back of his neck, "I guess we'll get you guys fed then,"

🐹🐔🐶🐱

Ava's floor had the most cushions, so they found themselves there. The four transformed teammates stared at their reflections in the window, turning and sniffing and pecking, while Bucky and Alexei tried to figure out what they could eat.

"Uh, ok…so veggies for Yelena and Bob…" Bucky murmured, holding his phone far from his face and tapping at it with his index finger.

The elevator dinged, and Alexei emerged with a bulky paper bag in his arms. "Ava, I have your food here," he grinned proudly, "I knew stocking on canned food would come in handy someday,"

Ava turned, trotting away from the others and over to Alexei, with her tail raised in a dignified manner.

"Mraa," she said, pressing a paw into his foot.

"Ah, where do you keep the can opener?" Alexei asked. Ava trilled, and went over to the kitchen, hopping onto the counter.

"Ah—ok yeah sure just…walk over that," Bucky said, sweeping the vegetables Ava had kicked aside back onto the parchment paper he laid out. Ava stopped at the end of the counter, her gray tail sweeping about the surface. Yelena, John and Bob were still by the window, now examining each other rather than themselves, climbing over each other, sticking out black noses and beaks. Bob pecked 'SOS' into John's forehead, until John nudged him away with his snout.

They all gathered in the seating area in the end, all of the animals sat on the floor or table, while Bucky and Alexei sat on the couch. Parchment paper with roughly chopped leafy vegetables was in the coffee table for Yelena and Bob, who chewed and pecked at them contentedly.

"We'll talk to Grace tomorrow, Banner's still gonna be a bit," Bucky said, watching John gnaw on a steak. Ava had yowled in protest when they'd taken it out of the fridge, but they didn't have anything else for him at the moment. That, and she seemed preoccupied with her tuna anyway.

"Ah, em," Alexei looked like he had a sudden thought, and turned to Bucky, "They eat now but…when the food runs its course…"

Bucky blinked, then frowned, "That's true—" he turned to his phone, "I'm gonna have some stuff delivered."

"They still have human minds, yes? Perhaps they can figure out how to use the toilet," Alexei said. Yelena squeaked in distress, stopping her eating and running around in circles on the table.

"…mostly…I suppose they still are animals," Alexei said.

After they were done eating, the Furrybolts (lovingly named by Alexei) all curled up with John on one large cushion, nestled into his side. Bucky couldn't help the smile that spread across his face, and found himself kneeling to run his hands over their heads and along their sides as they drifted off.

"Seems you guys have an easier time sleeping like this," Bucky said, smoothing a hand over Bob's feathers.

"Pok pok pok pok pok," he clucked. Bucky huffed a laugh, standing up and heading over to his recliner.

"Guess we'll doze here till Banner shows up," Bucky yawned, folding his hands on his stomach.

🐹🐔🐶🐱

Bucky thought Bruce would've been right at home in the Watchtower's lab, and he almost was. But he moved about the equipment with more caution than was necessary, even for a green giant like himself.

"You solid Banner?" Bucky asked, watching as Bruce stuck an electrode onto a very vocal Ava's furry forehead. She phased, the electrode fell through her to the ground, and she trotted off to the other side of the lab. Bob was there too—though he'd spent the better part of the last hour pecking at the ground in no particular pattern. Meanwhile, Yelena was playing with Wiggles, the actual guinea pig, and John was sitting obediently by the holotable, tail wagging, and electrodes stuck across his fur.

"Uh, yeah just…" he looked around the lab and grimaced, "Last time I was here I was creating a sentient AI to stop another sentient AI I created from destroying the world,"

Bucky nodded, remembering where he'd been at the time, nose basically pressed against the old tube TV in his apartment, static fuzz tickling his skin as he watched the live footage of Steve and the other Avengers.

"A different era, really," he sighed, crouching to pet Ava, who'd wandered back over to him. She bunted her head into his hand, then through it to crawl up his arm.

"So, you confirmed that they're still…them on the inside?" Bucky asked, letting Ava crawl over his shoulders.

"Yeah, for the most part. Though, replace the relatively few human primitive instincts with the myriad of animal instincts they have now. Their sapience is still there but it's uh…" he chuckled, "I don't wanna say outmatched, but,"

Bucky glanced over at Yelena, who'd taken to gnawing at a piece of loose wire. He grabbed her and moved her back next to Wiggles.

"Maybe a little outmatched," Bucky said.

"Subdued," Bruce said, nodding at the word he'd settled on. It was accurate enough. They could all answer complex questions with simple yes or no confirmations, type out their names on a keyboard and whatnot.

Ava jumped off Bucky's shoulder, running over to John. John, who's head had been in his paws, glanced up at her and blinked. Ava's ears swiveled like little satellites, and she sniffed at John's snout, before walking partially through him to climb onto his side and loaf there. John rolled over, making Ava fall off, and the electrodes snap off of his fur. Ava batted his paws out of the way of his stomach before assuming the same position there.

"MraaAAAOW," she yowled whenever John tried moving her. John looked at Bucky in distress.

Bucky ignored him and asked Bruce, "So, are they stuck like this or what?"

"Um," Bruce walked over to the holopad where Ava and John were laying, and brought up a hologram of John—dog John anyway. A small 'diagnostic complete' notification blinked on the interface.

"Thanks for cooperating, Walker," Bruce said, grinning down at John, whose tail started to wag.

"Ok," he spun the hologram with a large green hand, before stopping it and poking his head through, examining what looked like the nervous system, "Yeah it doesn't look permanent,"

Bucky puffed out a relieved breath, and the others perked up at the news too.

"That's great!"

Bucky's relief vanished quickly, though, at the sound of Val's voice from the lab entrance.

She and Mel stepped inside. Mel immediately rushed towards Yelena and Wiggles. Yelena regarded her with a squeak, then let out a higher pitched sound as Mel picked her up, face beaming.

"What do you want now, Val?" Bucky asked dryly, watching her walk over to Bob, who squawked and ran over to John and Ava, away from her. Val's face turned up in a small sneer, before righting itself into a neutral expression.

"Well, the meet and greet was a disaster. At least, that's what I thought, until I realized something while listening to Gracie prattle on and on about god knows what," she watched Mel and Yelena for a moment, "If there's something people like more than the Avengers, the actual Avengers not us, it's this,"

Bucky and Burce blinked at her, so she rolled her eyes, and gestured broadly with flourish, "This—animals, cute ones at that. Thank God none of them turned into an iguana or something, eugh,"

"What are you getting at?" Bucky asked.

Val looked at him and shook her head, "Oh Barnes, ever the slow one," making Bucky roll his eyes as she continued, "It means we have another, better, shot at this. Mel?"

Mel set Yelena down, before brandishing her iPad and holding it out to Bucky. Bucky took it, frowning down at the half-finished poster.

FURRYBOLTS: SEE THEM LIVE IN WATCH TOWER LOBBY @ ——

"Christ," Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose, and Mel grimaced before saying, "It…it honestly could be worse, right?"

"You're damn right it could be," Val said, leveling Bucky with a challenging look, "You know as much as I do just how much good publicity—image—matters, congressman,"

Bucky's lip turned up in distaste, and Bruce looked between the two of them, visibly uncomfortable. Behind him, Yelena joined Ava and Bob on John's tummy, slotting herself between them. Ava sniffed at her, then started running her tongue over her head to groom her.

"That there, Barnes," Val pointed at them, "That right there is exactly what we need, served on a silver platter,"

Bucky looked back over at her, "Sounds to me like you oughta be thanking Grace rather than making her the poster child of 'unregistered enhanced persons'," he said.

Val shrugged, "I could, but people love outrage just as much if not more than animals, so," she turned and began walking towards the exit, "But anyway, they're gonna be on Kimmel tomorrow night, have them ready by then,"

The four animals froze at that, glancing at each other, before bolting up and running about the room, barking and meowing and squeaking and squawking.

"…they all despise talk shows," Bucky sighed.

"Well, the public despises them more, so," She motioned for Mel to come on, then walked out of the lab, leaving Bucky and his teammates more than a little peeved.

"The public doesn't despise you, guys," Bucky said in an attempt to calm them down. Bruce made a face, waggling his hand, but stopped when Bucky shot him a glare and said, "Yeah—they see you guys as uh…lovable misfits,"

"Yep," Bucky said, "Way better,"

🐹🐔🐶🐱

After careful deliberation from Bob and Mel, the name on the event poster was named to Fluffybolts—given that 'furry' had a different connotation. Even Bucky was aware. Alexei wasn't, though, and was saddened to find his new name replaced.

But his elation came back tenfold when he was tasked with helping them all get ready for the talk show.

"I know is strange Lena, but please put on tiny outfit. It will look cute, I promise," he said, carefully stepping toward Yelena, who was doing her best to give off a threat display. But she was still a guinea pig, so she kind of just looked like an angry potato.

"Yeah, no way she's putting this on," Mel sighed in defeat as Ava slipped out of her own outfit for the dozenth time. At least John was cooperating, seeming to be very happy with his U.S. Agent dog outfit, padding around the dressing room and looking expectantly up at the others.

Bob, content now that he'd figured out how to read, was wrapped in a blanket on one of the vanities, using his beak to turn the pages. Since he technically wasn't a Thunderbolt, he didn't need a costume, but he was still a fan favorite—so his attendance was mandatory.

"Can't believe Val is putting them on like show ponies," Bucky muttered. They had leverage on Val, yes, but it really only applied in certain situations, life-altering ones. It wasn't something to be used flippantly. She knew this, and definitely got a kick out of it.

"It isn't so bad," Alexei said, finally managing to put the tiny uniform on Yelena, who started chewing at the fabric immediately. Alexei, who was cradling her, smiled down at her, "Is like she is small again. Needing to be taken care of and all," he sighed, "Didn't realize how much I liked it till it was…gone,"

Yelena wriggled out of her spot in Alexei's arms, climbing up to his shoulder and nosing his ear.

"Ava—oh my god—ok, um, if you put it on I'll buy you treats yeah? Bet you haven't had cat treats yet," Mel said, locked in intense negotiation with an indifferent and aloof gray cat.

A few minutes later, some haggard looking intern poked their head through the door, "Hey—wow they really are animals, uh manager says you guys are on in 10," he said. Yelena did anxious circles on Alexei's shoulder, and Bob nestled himself further back into the blanket if that were possible.

"You say you want 'public facing' role but don't want to do talk show?" Alexei chuckled, scratching at Yelena's back with his finger.

Ava pressed a paw against Bucky's foot, looking up at him with pleading eyes. "Don't worry," Bucky sighed, picking her up, "It'll be over before we know it, we got this,"

🐹🐔🐶🐱

lili @lilikayz

i've only known the fluffybolts for 10 minutes but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone on this platform and then myself [gif]

Buddy Eric @ebot

is nobody disgusted with how v*lent*na is trying to spin the narrative against UEPs???? like????? [quote tweet]

BOB FAN @BOBNO1FAN

LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT HIM OH MY FUCKING GOD [clip]

nora ♣︎ b-vengers era @nora39203

How are people saying this is fake like half of yall mfs werent literally turned to dust 7 years ago?

semi-gross person @w3aving

Bucky doing nothing but serving face ikdr he can assassinate me too

🐹🐔🐶🐱

Valentina was almost charitable when she was in a good mood, almost.

It was a 15 minute segment, which felt like an eternity (especially for their furry friends, thanks to their altered sense of time)

They weren't exactly well-behaved—but that ended up being to their benefit, as the host and other guests seemed delighted with watching the costumed animals wander around the stage. It got a touch chaotic when Ava disappeared into the audience, re-emerging from through the host's desk, but other than that, things went off without a hitch.

Valentina was pleased with how well the talk show had gone, but less pleased by her misreading the current climate, and the backlash to her tweets about UEPs. But, it was fine. In action typical for a dubious public figure, all proceeds from the meet and greet were going towards various animal sanctuaries and whatnot.

In addition to that, Grace was invited to the Watchtower a few hours before the main event, and spent most of her time petting and talking to the Fluffybolts. Unlike the others, she could understand everything they were saying, and was able to verify (after lots of meandering conversation about things like whether or not a cat and dog could make a catdog) that yes, the transformation is temporary, and only lasts for a week.

"They're gonna look silly for a bit though," she'd said, right before she left with her parents.

"Well, I guess we'll find out what that means here soon," Bucky said, squeezing his eyes shut.

They were expecting increased attendance for the second meet and greet, but not anything insane.

But then the crowd outside of the lobby started forming, a dense line of people peering through the windows, pointing, laughing, cooing and taking pictures.

Yelena already seemed to be soaking in the attention. Her, Bob and Wiggles were in one section, while John and Ava were in another. Colorful cushions, toys were strewn across a multi-colored rug, complete with a balloon arch at the entrance.

It was all a little stupid, but Val had a point. People latched onto anything and. Even though relevance seemed to come and go in an instant on the surface, the public had a good memory in some cases. All they could do was hope this was one of them.

As people began pouring inside the lobby, Bucky braced himself for a long afternoon.

Alexei greeted the public with (literal) open arms, bragging about all of the Fluffybolts before anyone even had a chance to see them up close.

"She is agile for guinea pig no? See, look at her roll around—Wiggles cannot do that…oh nevermind, looks like she can,"

Bob ended up getting more attention than he probably wanted, and Bucky could see Yelena inching towards the crowd gathering around him, nose sniffing in worry. But there wasn't a black feather to be seen, he seemed to be taking it in stride. That, or he was just really into being a chicken. It was probably both.

John and Ava also got a good amount of attention, given that they were common housepets that most people were familiar with. Ava didn't let anybody pet her, but John did, the thumping of his tail against the rug audible even through all of the noise.

Things were going well, too well.

A man with a B-Vengers hoodie bent over to pet Bob, but stumbled back when a puff of pink smoke exploded in his face. Then, in sequence, the other three also exploded into pink clouds.

Bucky was frozen for a while, before springing into action and directing people to leave. Most people bolted at the sight or sound of the explosions, but a few nosy folks remained.

"Oh my god whyyyyy," Yelena cried, kneeled on the ground naked, hands folded over his chest. Alexei rushed over to her, draping her in his tacky suit jacket, before joining Bucky in escorting the guests out.

"This is the greatest day of my life," The man in the hoodie said, looking a disoriented Bob up and down, before being yanked back by Bucky and shoved back through the balloon arch.

Val was frozen in shock, or horror, it was probably both.

Ava had her face in her hands, crouched behind John who was holding his shield over his crotch.

"That little brat said a week, did she not? Didn't she say a week?" Val asked, looking at Mel, who nodded frantically. Val let a string of quiet expletives fall from her lips before composing herself.

Mel squinted at the other four. It was hard to see through the pink haze, but Yelena's head looked weird. Then, she made a noise in the back of her throat, before bursting into laughter.

"What? Is this funny to you?" Val hissed. Mel shook her head, still unable to speak, and pointed at the others.

On Yelena's head, there were ears. Guinea pig ears.

Bucky ran a hand down his face, and Val went, "Huh,"

"So that's what she meant," Bucky finished the thought, shedding his jacket and tossing it to John, who handed it to Ava. Both of them were sporting their own pair of ears and tails.

"That child is an agent of chaos," John said, squeezing his eyes shut, seemingly trying to will the situation away.

"This is a nightmare, heh," Bob laughed, looking at the others. A haunted expression crossed his face, and he grabbed at his head before sighing in relief.

"Oh, thank God," he sighed, "Thought I had that rooster thing on my head,"

Bucky cleared his throat, "Yeah, no you don't but—" he gestured at Bob's back, "You do have something else,"

Bob tilted his head at Bucky, reaching back, and flinching as his fingers brushed over comically tiny wings protruding from his scapula.

"Ah man," Bob said, "This is so lame,"

Yelena nodded, pinching the bridge of her nose, "That's definitely one way to put it,"

🐹🐔🐶🐱

BOB FAN @BOBNO1FAN

I SAW IT I SAW IT OH MY GOD

[this tweet has been deleted]

Buckdeeznuts @rollerdude4

This mf Bucky looks so done bruh oml 💀 [image]

Lot's of "love" @amandamain

Is it a law of nature for every Captain America to be caked up? [image]

B-Vengers Snark @bvsnark21

never seen a group take more Ls in my life bruh

🐹🐔🐶🐱

"This whole situation reminds me of something that happened to my buddy Eric," Bob mused, feet propped on the coffee table.

"Your Florida friends have more mythical status than Thor at this point," Ava sighed, dull eyes still trained on her milkshake. She still had cat taste buds, and thus couldn't taste it.

"We're not gonna like…go into heat or anything right?" John asked, raising a leg before thinking better, and using his hand to scratch the back of his neck.

"Probably not," Yelena said.

John gave her a look, "See, you say that like you aren't gnawing on a teething ring right now,"

Yelena shrugged, "It should be completely worn off before anything like that happens,"

"S'really weird that you kept that," Bucky said to Alexei at the kitchen table, looking pointedly at the teething ring. Alexei laughed, "Ahaha, it would've been weird if I didn't keep it,"

"Kay," Bucky said, nodding like that would make things make more sense.

"So, when she said it would last a week, she didn't mean we'd be fully transformed the whole time then," Ava said. Yelena hummed in agreement.

"I don't wanna see a single picture of my ass in the group chat by the way," John said, frowning down at his phone, dog ears flat against his head.

"Not your ass," Yelena said, "It's America's ass,"

Bob and Ava laughed, and John told her to 'fuck off', thumbs flying across his keypad as he sent an email to Twitter HQ.

"Well, at least now we know that no matter what we do—" Bob started.

"People will clown on us," Yelena finished, "I honestly don't know why Val bothers,"

"She seemed a little edgy towards the end there," Ava snorted, leaning back on her palms, "Think she had a heart-attack?"

"Nah," John sighed, "She's got rich person medical care. The witch will live,"

"Good point," Ava muttered, cat ears twitching in annoyance. She grimaced and scratched at them.

"We need a vacation," Yelena said around the teething ring in her mouth, "We don't get paid enough for this,"

"Seriously, that whole oreal was freaky," John said, setting his phone down, "There's still instincts rattling around in here too—it's weird and gross,"

"Tell me about it—I don't think I'm gonna be able to eat chicken for a while," Bob put his head in his hands.

"Oof, yep, I'm gonna have to hold off on the guinea pig myself,"

"Wiggles lives another day," John says, "I have the most insane headache right now,"

"Me too—we probably should've ordered something besides chili dogs," Ava said.

"Yeah well, god knows Bucky could use the pick-me-up," John responded.

They all looked at Bucky, who scooped a forkful of chili-fries into his mouth, eyes distant.

"Sorry you saw all of us naked, Bucky," Yelena said.

Bucky shrugged, and said, "Trust me, I've seen way, way worse,"

And he had, but man if he wasn't tired of this shit.

🐹🐔🐶🐱

Well, that's it. Again, nothing really happens, I just wanted to write this scenario. Sorry if the talk show segment was inacurate I hate them so I don't watch any of them.

Btw this goes without saying, but Bucky would be a white wolf, and Alexei would be a bear. Curious to see if anyone has any ideas for what Mel and Valentina would be turned into.

Thanks for reading!

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