#i also dont really revise them that much

[soulidarity]

myths and beliefs

rafayel x MC / 455 words

rafayel and Mc have a discussion on the credibility of myths

MC doesn't know that rafayel is a lemurian. inspired on his card "myths", slight spoiler of his myth if you squint

"do you really need me to be here? I don't think you need protection while you're painting at home"

"it's not just protection your presence helps me with this painting specifically"

MC raised an eyebrow at him but decided not to go too deep into it, opting to plop herself down on the couch across from him and scrolling on her phone. it wasn't the first time rafayel had called her over just to be there, sometimes it was for a couple of minutes, othertimes t was a few hours. he was unpredictable and at this point, should not be questioned.

the sun had started to set when the artist spoke to her again

"do you believe in myths?" "that's a sudden question um, sure. i mean not all of them"

"like?"

"greek mythology sometimes doesn't make sense to me. but i do get that they're supposed to be like warnings to children or just nice stories so i usually don't pay much mind to it."

"if something doesn't make sense to you, you do not believe it true?"

"you're sounding suddenly poetic"

he put his brush down and laid down on the couch with her, his head on her lap. "what about lemurians?"

"lemurians?"

"do you believe in them?"

"even if i did, wouldn't they be extinct? that's what grandma used to say"

"your grandma talked about them?"

she smiled, her hand brushing some purple strands from his face

"she used to tell me a bedtime story, about a lemurian and a human princess. the adventures he'd take her on and the world he would show her. i think it had a tragic ending but i always fell asleep before i heard it. the details of the story are foggy, its been a while."

"if i ever told you something that seemed impossible, would you believe me?"

"you usually mess with me a lot so-"

"MC, i'm serious."

she frowned. "yel, what are you not telling me?"

"do you trust me?"

"with my life but you've got to understand why im kind of aprehensive, youre being rather cryptic"

"you won't remember, you'll break the promise" he mumbled

"what'd you say?"

rafayel smiles, his serious demeanor quickly fading

"i said its nothing, just some artistic trail of thought"

"you sure?"

"yeah" he grabbed her face, pulling it down for a quick kiss "all this talking has made me hungry, feed me an apple?"

"you're so childish, you have to get up for me to go do that"

"hmmm... im sure you can figure out a way to do it with me on top of you"

"i think i have! i'll just throw you off"

rafayel quickly stood up "threatened by my own bodyguard? wow! scandalous"

[astranauticus]

falling down a new hole has also made it really clear how much of a statistical anomaly starship is for me like im fully capable of drawing sweet romantic moments for my ships i just refuse to ever draw VR-LA being happy i guess

[phagodyke]

ykw it's weird bc I thought being alone in the flat for a week would make me kinda stir crazy but it's literally been completely chill. actually even better than that I've been rly enjoying it tbh

[thatdeadaquarius]

sagau with the language barrier issue except... the creator is sick and tired of trying to ask for things so they do everything themself.

and it gives their followers mass anxiety bc they can't even ask what you're doing... bc they know they won't understand anything...

SUCH A GENIUS NARVI 10/10 GOOD WORK SORRY IM SUPER LATE BUT THIS IS *chefs kiss*

Like, that's literally how I feel like I first played Genshin LMAO

Also this has a cont. Part 2 at the bottom bc tumblr fucking hates me UPDATE I FIXED IT THANK FUCK

Paimon was like "and then we go to Mondstadt- ! NO, not Wolvendom, to Mondstadt! NOT THE THOUSAND WIND TEMPLE WITH ENEMIES OUT OF UR LEAGUE, ENTER MONDSTADT FOR THE FIRST TIME BEFORE U EXPLORE THE REST OF THE MAP!! >:("

SO MANY IDEAS YET SO LITTLE WRITING SKILL GUYS HELP-

Also warning this is ROUGH in terms of spelling and editing and im so sorry abt that! I have my art show today so you're welcome to come back if you want to see it a little more readable tomorrow lmao

Edit Update 4/6/23:

Revised and fixed all the bad spelling and grammar (hopefully) so make sure to give another read if you havent read the cleaned up version lol

I dont have a beta reader so its just me trying my best ok-

Everything was like kinda chaos tbh at first

WOW- MY FIRST 1,000+ NOTES POST??!?! U GUYS, WHAT ARE R YOU DOIN??!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! IM GLAD U GUYS ENJOYED IT SM!! Also look out for more encoded stuff in the future since i mentioned wanting to continue stuff like this + ARG stuff :) <3

Edit 9/7/23: 2,000+ NOTES?? THANK YOU???

Like u wake up under the Irminsul, and u think ur hallucinating a goddamn gacha game for like a solid 5 minutes, or ur lucid dreaming, 

but once u actually took what felt like hours to process that u might actually be in fucking Genshin Impact-

Nahida came running from, somewhere?? Its kinda just very floaty dreamy in here so, unclear, she’s beaming with a giddy little smile (💘)

It’s… so much more than what her game model could manage.

I mean, you knew that, of course you did, but- to see the tiny goddess smiling in person, her cute chubby arms waving in the air, her cheeks all plump with baby fat from her excited smile, pretty green eyes that sparkle only in the way excited toddlers do-

It was just…wow. 🥺

You can’t help it, her sheer carefree excitement, exactly like a child but you know that she must be really overwhelmed with joy if shes letting herself act like that so blatantly, you feel ur muscles tug gently into a smile, you try to muffle it but ur happiness leaks out anyway

She's panting as she stumbles on short chubby legs to reach you.

After just staring at you with those big green clover eyes for a few seconds, she physically shakes her head to knock herself out of it,

Nahida places her hand over her heart, and bows elegantly, going back to looking at you with a small but bright smile, her voice is kind of quiet, muffled in a soft way, much like her game depiction,

“Hzozn! R'ev yvvm dzrgrmt gl nvvg blf! R wrwm'g gsrmp blf dlfow wvhxvmw fmgro R dzh zg ovzhg z uvd gslfhzmw bvzih low!” *

…Nahida begins to look a little concerned… her eyes get impossibly bigger.

…Oh no.

♧

Nahida had apparently quickly spread the news that you can’t understand them, but luckily it seems like all the characters still know you!

Alhaitham is pretty much a constant by your side, you knew he was vaguely studying linguistics in the akademiya… but that knowledge still didn’t prepare you to be intensely stared at with his diamond pupils for hours. 💀

Then he’d tap your shoulder or something, and you quickly picked up that he wanted you to just try and say something.

Then he would scribble for hours.

Turns out they can understand you about as much as you understand Teyvat language (s? You can’t even tell if there are multiple languages, that’s how unrecognizable this language is, damn)

The more extroverted or friendly people, like Venti, Yoimiya, Kazuha, Jean, Noelle, Amber, Xingqiu, Hu Tao, Zhongli, Ganyu, Barbara, Beidou, Collei, Ayaka, Gorou, Nilou

At least attempt to talk to you, and try very hard to watch what you gesture with your hands or body language

They're pretty much ready to play charades at all times for you lol

Interestingly enough, they only ever understood you when you typed in the chat (with other ppl)

But even then not immediately, 

Sumeru scholars basically had to make a whole new department (regardless of how much you play with others) to decipher your ancient language (to them) like those old clay tablets with cuneiform we’re still translating?

Like that, your words appear in elemental magic heavy places (so like that abyss lang. It’ll appear on walls or structures, so like Andrius’ stone colosseum? in Wolvendom gained some of your chat replies inscribed and glowing a rainbow of colors on the top edges of the walls)

Much like the abyss language you see throughout genshin, most Teyvat scholars (across nations/internationally) agreed your language is the oldest form of language known!

It’s like modern languages having roots in older ones, like English with Latin, greek, or German roots, or Sanskrit and the Prakrit for Hindi language today

…so of course no one really speaks the root languages anymore, because they’re so old, so those ancestors who spoke those languages would have little to no understanding of their modern counterparts…

◇

Occasionally if you turned your mic on for whatever reason there would be a gentle whisper on the winds in Mondstadt of your voice,

or your laugh in the waves washing ashore in Inazuma and Fontaine,

your startled noises or screams from battling bosses mixed with the landslides in the mountains of Liyue

So they know what you sound like, but that doesn’t mean they understood your language :/

Nahida had been hoping that you’re actual physical form being here would help improve the language barrier

But unfortunately, those things remained the same, but at least you were physically here to talk to now and give more content for the scholars to study rather than them having to make do with your snippets of language from chats

…so needless to say, it took you a long time to realize they viewed you as a god of sorts.

You kind of knew something was up when at least two allogenes were by your sides at all times, or eremites would replace them if they really couldn’t stick around

You figured they knew you weren’t nearly as combatant-ready as they were at all times, hell you obviously didn’t have a vision hanging off you somewhere, and you only really had a knife strapped to a belt, courtesy of the Thirty Corps

You are still kind of convinced that the people of Teyvat, or Sumeru at least, are just pretty polite (and in the allogenes case, very kind or friendly, even people like Alhaitham or Cyno, resting bitch faces they have, seem to soften a little when they’re walking around with you… maybe you’re just imagining it…)

And as much as you would love to wait until they understand you to do something more fun, as you can see the frustration on Tighnari’s face (and his ears try to flatten back hehe) as he looked like he was debating heatedly with some of the Sumeru sages who insist you stay in the city

…so why not go?

It’s not like they’re going to get it anytime soon, and it’s still too frustrating for yourself to charade things or draw things for them because you can’t even hear their guesses 💀

You can totally handle being like the traveler too, 

You still have access to your inventory afterall! Plus, lucky for you, you still find a pass for the Serenitea Pot in your little pocket dimension!

So now you have somewhere to sleep at night, and while most of your stuff went to the traveler’s pack, the things like Primogems

(which.. Okay now you really want primogems bc theyre so pretty and shiny irl)✨️

And other high-level things, or just objects of no use for the traveler (so basically all your hoarded level up stuff and infinite amount of weapons lol) came along with you

So you did have to wander the first week or so around the city and even commission the Adventurer’s Guild to grab you food supplies to cook with

Filling up, along with a few big waterskins, you’re off!

...and everyone collectively has a heart attack!

◇

When you show up in Ghandaraville essentially all “✨️💖☺️✨️” on Tighnari’s doorstep-

He chokes on the tea he’d been sipping on before he opened the door lol

He looks a little frazzled so you try to just gesture with “calm yourself small animal” energy with your hands

“Tivzgvhg Oliw! R'n- R- sld wrw blf-?! Mvevinrmw, xlnv rm, xlnv rm, ivhg! ...R mvvw gl hvmw z nroorlm ovggvih mld gl ylgs gsv vmgriv xrgb lu Hfnvif, gsv Zxgrmt Tizmw Hztv, zmw gsv Nzgiz nlhg orpvob…” he began out looking at you and talking and gesturing to his small dining table (the game sucks, his house looks great and has lots of cool rooms filled with interesting plants… oooo…so pretty...) 

But then he kinda just devolved into rambling, no need to understand, you can read the vibes and just know that's what he's doing lol

Collei eventually ducks in, and she looks a little panicked?

She’s quickly followed by Cyno, pushing past her to call out into the house,

His voice seems hard and stressed, looking at Tighnari, “Grtsmzir, szev blf hvvm gsv Tivzgvhg Oliw zmbdsviv, gsvb dviv hvvm xlnrmt gl Tszmwziezeroov ozhg-” 

Cyno stops and blinks.

Collei’s mouth is slightly dropped open, she also just, blinks.

You blink. 

Tighnari blinks tiredly, he looks like he’d rather be done for the day, you think.

The doctor sighs, and moves his head to nod towards the other dining seats.

◇

Sumeru foods are so much better looking in real life, and they’re so good too, your practically bloated by the end of dinner, 

As a thank you, bc u cant say it obv, you just gesture for Tighnari to stay sitting, and he gives you a raised eyebrow and a suspicious ear twitch

But stays still, and you reach out to finally hit the eight-pointed star hovering over his, and all playable characters chests at all times.

Like you suspected, it brings up a holographic character menu, but rather than his full model, it kind of hovers in front of Tighnari’s face, replacing his old 3D model self with framing the real thing for a portrait just in front of his face

The poor Denro user nearly jumps a foot out of his chair as he looks in shock at your screen, you do the same “chillll boy” gesture with your hands and press his shoulders for a second to remind him to not run off or panic

Cyno and Collei had done the dishes and put up leftovers, and are now standing behind Tighnari, watching with equally wide eyes,

“...Dszg ziv gsvb wlrmt gl blf?

Cyno’s voice is even deeper and quieter than usual, you feel goosebumps run up your spine

“Ziv blf tvggrmt yovhhvw, Nzhgvi Grtsmzir?!” Collei’s sweet voice is also hushed like she’s witnessing something sacred, Tighnari gently shakes his head negatively in response, his shoulders shrugging,

“Nzbyv? R uvvo... z orggov hgilmtvi, zmw nb Erhrlm rh zxgrmt fk zh dvoo…”

Though he’s replying, Tighnari’s eyes haven’t once left your ancient magic? technology device? hovering in front of him,

and as he crosses his arms and squints to try and look closer at everything floating in front of him, you can see the childlike gleam of awe in his green eyes, (so cute) in fact, now that you glance up and look, both Collei and Cyno have the same quietly excited and fascinated sparkle in their eyes too

With a displeased sneer, you chuck his old level one bow into the material grinding spots, hope he wasn’t attached to that…

Oh well, he’ll like the new one better, afterall, with no characters, all your best weapons and artifacts are ready to use!

With a small smile of reassurance, you finally finish gearing Tighnari up, tap a miniature version of that 8-point star in the corner like an “X” button, and it retreats like a classic TV set📺 turning off into his chest, he startles but then carefully stands

You decide to just start making decisions bc its worked out so far ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And grab his hand and haul him out into the forest, Collei letting out a surprised squeak, her and Cyno hurrying after

You reach the nearest clearing, and gesture at Tighnari like a bow and arrow firing, he gets it, and your glad he already trusts you, because he doesn’t take long to summon his bow

He takes aim at a smaller tree about two cars length away

You can feel them all holding their breathe, as Tighnari charges it with Dendro, the arrowhead glowing, (it looks so cool and badass irl god you feel envious even tho ur already here-)

The ranger lets it fly, it streaks neon green, whistling through the air, it hits the tree-

and it fucking explodes.

Vines and leaves and the trees roots all rapidly swell like theyre filled with water, like it literally got hit by a superhero with plant powers, which, not that far off actually.

The green floating Dendro seeds make a ring around the tree its so full of elemental energy-

You give a wild grin, you still got it, hell yeah. >:)

Your grin widens as you look over at Tighnari, Collei, and Cyno

Cyno has a smirk lighting up his face, eyes eager, Collei’s jaw has dropped and she’s just frozen staring as the tree finally settles from the burst of the dendro powered arrow

…Tighnari has lowered his bow, and his mouth is only slightly open, his ears perked straight up into the air, shaking with excitement? Happiness? Interest? You don’t know how peopl-animal-hybrid ears work,

and you STILL cant talk to any of them to ask what they thought, so looks will have to do >:/

Tighnari is the first to move, his head snapping over to look at you, the brightest, kinda feral tbh, smile taking over his face-

“Blf pmld, dv xzm'g fmwvihgzmw blf, zmw blf fh, bvg R xzm'g dzrg gl hvv dszg rm gsv dliow blf'iv tlrmt gl wl mvcg. Blf'iv znzarmt."

… and you just 🙂? Cool!

And give a thumbs up👍LMAO

☆

Bonus:

Alhaitham was literally running around Sumeru City trying to find you when you left, tho you did try and leave a translatable-in-3-to-5-business days-note, he didn’t have time to translate that because you were gone.

Or worse, lost in the city, and he would never forgive himself if he lost you, esp as Acting Grand Sage-

Kaveh got a letter a day and a half later from Tighnari letting them know you were having a sleepover in Ghandarvaville lol

Kaveh also had to hunt down Alhaitham to give him said news, then force his roommate to go sit or lay down for the rest of the day to recover lmao

(Haitham honestly kinda freaked Kaveh out bc he’s never seen him that... desperate, it was like seeing a statue emote lol)

♡

ARE YOU KIDDING WE ALMOST HIT LIMIT AGAIN?!

Bro has anyone else had this problem???

I literally had to switch from PC to mobile and copy and paste it there to get all my shit in and tumblr not throw a hissy fit???!!!

FUCKING TUMBLR- SUCK MY BIG FAT- 👹👹 UGH

ANYWAYYYY SO I FINALLY CAVED 

And started doing ciphers for when you dont get teyvat’s language! I meant to do something fun like this for awhile but I wasn’t sure if that would be kind of annoying, but if you’re interested in learning what they actually say (which the whole point of this is that dw it doesnt rlly matter lol) here’s a hint:

*hint = Atbash

:> good luck!

Wish me luck on my art exhibition today!! Then I’ll be homefreeeee 😭

Safe Travels,

💀♒

♡ the beloveds ♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[txttletale]

youve previously spoken about i was a teenage exocolonist and its confused politics, and i agree, and now im thinking, how would one revise the story so as to improve them?

i think the game would have to either not be so proudly About Colonialism or would have to revise its story so that the theming actually matches the events. like imaginining that my proposed rewrite aims to 1. make the game's politics coherent while 2. changing as little as possible and 3. keeping the game's intended themes, i think the things that are most dissonant and jarring are:

the game not understanding what colonialism is but wanting to very much assure you that It's Bad

the game not understanding what fascism is but wanting to very much assure you that It's Bad

the game not understanding what capitalism is &c. &c. &c.

the bizarre unexamined eugenicist elements

so let's start on the first thing. you would want to lean much more heavily on the colonists as 'refugees' rather than 'colonists' -- the game treats 'colonizing' a place the exact same way as 'living there', and that kind of sucks (a common problem when using 'Space Colonization' as a 1-1 metaphor for actual colonization). so while we want to keep the weird culty aspects of the colony's society we'll ditch most of the colonial intentionality until the Helios arrives. secondly, we need to have the planet's indigenous people, like, actually present and not secretly hiding away as supercomputers.

so, like, let's keep the Gardeners as artificial life forms dedicated to protecting the ecosystem, but let's make them biotech. let's make them giant, imposing trees that reach up into the sky, with root networks that span the whole planet. then, rather than the colony being colonialist because it straight up doesnt know indigenous people exist (because they're secret computer people), we can make a much more interesting conflict by having the colonists be ignorant (and, as the game progresses, willingly ignorant) of the gardeners' sentience. have the raids start after the colony fells one of the trees (killing a Gardener) to make room for their own expansion, maybe really lean into the nasty parts of the colonial metaphor by having the Gardener's wood be the construction material of the new wing of the colony.

then Lum arrives as part of an intentional colonization project from the Earth we fled, assumes military command as in the current story, and immediately ramps up existing exploitation and destructive enviromental practices. his administration deliberately suppresses information of the Gardeners' sentience and spreads propaganda about them being 'monster trees'. have Lum clearly backed by Earthbound corporate interests, seeing the colony as an excercise in extracting value and using fascist dictatorship (usurping elections and the council with a permanent state of emergency and martial law) as a tool to maximize that value.

instead of defeating Lum at the ballot box, you can remove him in a coup. you can keep the getting-the-councilors-on-side minigame, you can even make it a bloodless coup if you don't want to put revolutionary violence in the game (but considering how much other violence there is in there, including terrorism, genocide, and murder, seems like a strange omission tbqh). and dont make him your fucking tiktoker put the guy in Jail. hes killed people sol.

have Sym still have his humanboo interests but also hint at an internal power struggle within the Gardeners, make it clear that there is a real and thriving culture among these indigenous gigantic environmentally networked tree-ecosystem-people, make his motivations for seeking peace more multifaceted.

then make the peaceful resolution to the whole colonialism issue to integrate the settlers into Gardener society rather than the weird siloed reservation thing going on in the base game. the head of the settlement or an ambassador (probably Dys) gets to go to the big fancy Gardener meetings where they decide things, the settlement gets permission from the Gardeners to farm and expand sustainably and is integrated into the ecosystem rather than neatly separated from it. the excolonists stop being colonists and become citizens of the planet.

as for the capitalism stuff, you can just drop that from marz' character, honestly. or if you want to make it make more sense without having to get into What Capitalism Is (which i think would be outside the mission statement of these proposals), make her thing wanting opulence and excess (it already kind of us, the game just keeps saying 'Capitalism'), have her excited when Lum starts giving people the opportunity to have that, then have her moment of excitement turn sour when she looks into Earth history and realizes how destructive this kind of extraction is in the long term.

and the eugenics--i think the simplest case here while still keeping all the cool genetic mutant character tics is just to make the genetic mutations a random glitch in an artificial womb system the refugees were using to have kids in space. this lets you keep the weird and wacky stuff going on with tangent and dys without raising questions like 'hey isnt this society insanely fucking dystopian'.

that's my in-a-nutshell rewrite of the game. obvsies an actual rewrite would need to change some more in-depth things, but i think off the top of my head these are the changes to the narrative that would make the heavyhanded attempts at political commentary work for me (that said, you could also go the opposite route, stop trying to draw parallels to colonialism and fascism and keep all the weird shit as is. but i think that's less interesting and more like stuff that already exists)

[sheyfu]

pretty boy

𝗜𝗡 𝗪𝗛𝗜𝗖𝗛 you comfort a crying akaashi keiji

feat. post-timeskip akaashi keiji (wife!reader)

cw: ooc; kinda rushed AAAAAAAAA (i still dont know how to pace my stories i will cry); mentions of wanting to commit mass murder; proofread but not really

prompt. free write! i had sm fun w this NYEHEHEHEH (based on this req <33) note. self-indulgent; my second piece for @lia-loves's flufftober event! this is also for the anon who requested for akaashi's version of 'i love my man', which i orginally wrote as a piece for reo from bllk! if you'd like to check it out (shamless plug LAMSODMAD), you can click on the link^ tbh this is super rushed bc i dont know how to pace my stuff but we ball LMADAOMDS AND GANG IK THIS IS OOC BUT IM SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES AKAASHI'S NONCHALANT SKIBIDI RIZZLER AURA DISSIPATES (omg big word) IN FRON OF YOU yes. read for a banger 🙏 wc. 940 (and again.. lia... i know you said don't write an essay but... huheuueh)

contrary to popular belief, being an editor for a shonen manga magazine isn’t an easy job. yes, you get to laze around until your talent submits their work to you for further checking, but only if you knew how difficult it was to work with crammers, then you’d see the hell these editors go through each passing day.

the amount of pestering you’d have to do just to receive mediocre pieces of art and an even-more-mediocre storyline that you can’t help but cry to (not that it’s unusable or course. it just needs a little (a lot) of revision :]), and the amount of times you’d have to apologize to the big bosses for the delay brings tears to the eyes of each and every editor.

personally, you’ve never experienced any of those hardships. your life as a legal practitioner is pretty smooth-sailing—save for the fact that some clients are a bit hard headed of course—but other than that, your life is a-okay!

and adding onto the fact that you’re happily wed to your husband of eight years, mr. akaashi keiji, you’d say you're pretty much content with life right now.

speaking of husband, is akaashi keiji happy with his life? definitely! a happy wife = happy life! 

and how about his work life? uhhhh, not so much.

“die die die die die die die”

the door to your apartment bursts open as a slumped figure walks in carelessly kicking his shoes in some corner of your little foyer. hearing the concerning amount of grumbles coming from your husband interrupt your little staring contest with the very demonic cat shaped cookies you decided to bake to pass time.

“keiji? you alright over there?” furrowing your eyebrows at the lack of response, you trudge to the living room to check up on your beloved.

“keiji? my love– what-”

only to see the biggest shocker of your life: a crying akaashi keiji.

now, keiji has cried a bunch of times in front of you; whether those tears have been from happiness or sadness, you’ve seen them all. you’ve also seen him go into little tantrums whenever he has his crying sessions; most of the time, these are due to his rather.. unruly clients. but no, tonight’s different. never in your life have you seen your akaashi keiji cry and be in hysterics at the same time.

“i can’t do this anymore!” continuous sobs rip out from the man in front of you—his bloodshot eyes being a telltale sign that he’s been crying even before he getting your shared apartment. 

oh dear..

upon reaching his knelt down form on the floor, you join him to litter his face with kisses. “hey now.. don’t cry please. i hate seeing you cry.” patting his head and engulfing him in a big hug, you continue to land kisses on his head.

only to be grabbed by the shoulders. “w- woah!”

“no, wife! i- i really can’t do it!” exasperated claims continuously spew out of his mouth—his cries seemingly getting worse and worse. “these… these vermins! they’re ruining my life! and that’s not even it! they also—”

comforting a crying husband on your chest isn’t part of your nightly routine. what also isn’t part of your routine is being gripped to death by said crying husband.

“i swear.. i swear to god, wife. i’ll actually throw my sketchbook at them the next time we meet.” keiji’s hoarse voice sounds from your chest; little sniffles coming out from him as you console your weeping spouse. 

oh keiji.. my sweet, sweet keiji..

“look at me, keiji.” said man raises his head up to meet your gaze. cupping his cheeks to bid the tears goodbye, you offer him a smile, “i know you’re mad– very mad—and i get you! it’s totally valid to feel like this” swiping your thumbs to get rid of the stray tears, you continue, “i’m sorry this happened to you, keiji. you know i’m not the best with words, but to try and bring comfort to you, i could join you if you do decide to wreak havoc in the office. you with your sketchbooks, me with my thousand page law books. how does that sound, hmm?” 

a small smile appears on his face—a sight you’ve seen each day, yet something you’ve never grown accustomed to. 

“really? you’d do that with me?” the smile on his face grows; eyes lighting up with glee as he takes in your words.

feeling a hot flush creep up on your face, you can’t help but utter your next words unwittingly, “you’re so pretty, keiji.” a few beats of silence pass as you process your own words.

well shit.

“o- oh, sorry! i didn’t mean to say that.. well! i mean you are pretty… really pretty actually, but–” small, yet resounding giggles stop your flow of speech. 

“even after eight years of being together, you still get flustered saying compliments” giggles-turned-to-laughter now escape from an akaashi keiji—his hand clutching his stomach as he slaps the bed. 

“hey! don’t be mean! it’s not my fault you’re so pretty..” you start sulking as you take in the sight of your now laughing husband, seemingly enjoying your flustered state.

as his laughter slowly comes to a halt, his next words surprise you even more.

“well. to make it even.. you’re really, really beautiful too, wife” a grin appears on akaashi keiji’s face as he kisses your forehead. 

your eyes widen as you process his words. 

me… beautiful… i’m… he thinks… he said i’m beautiful..

“stop your dirty tricks, keiji! this was supposed to be me comforting you— mmph!” 

he cuts you off with a kiss.

linking lia's flufftober event here!!

✧˖°ʚ🍓ɞ♡ ✧˖°ʚ🍓ɞ♡ ✧˖°ʚ🍓ɞ♡

please check her event and works out!!

🐈‍⬛️: gang first time writing for hq and I KNOW IM VERY MUCH AWARE that it's ooc LMAODMAOSDGIOA BUT EVEN SO, I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED MWAWMAMWA. i won't add hq to my taglist (yet. i'll still see LAMDOAMD), but shamless self plug LAMSDOAMSD if you'd like to be part of my taglist(s) for blue lock, honkai star rail, ace of diamond, kaiju no 8 and/or genshin, please access the gform link below <3

© sheyfu on tumblr

[tinydefector]

Hi i don't know if you are taking requests for bayverse but if you do can i get bayverse Ironhide x female reader, fluff and smut. Good luck of you do❤️

Minx

Warning: Smut, Oral fem receiving.

Word count: 2k

(Bayverse) Ironhide x Fem Human reader

Before I start, I'm not very good with writing Bayverse bots, so I hope this came out alright.

Also, I hope I did the reader well, I dont really write fem reader.

Request and ask open, read pinned post

Masterlist

Ironhide Masterlist

---------

She's using his revision mirror again to touch up her lipstick. It wouldn't bother Ironhide as much if it wasn't for the fact she was flaunting herself at him while they were driving. 

Ironhide let out an exasperated vent. On the surface he tried to remain stoic, but inside circuits were frayed from the incessant primping and preening whenever she had the chance to ride in his cab. 

"Must you always fuss so much?" he grumbled, unable to keep the irritation from his voice. "I am driving, in case you've forgotten. And I suspect your antics are meant more for distracting me than seeing to your own looks."

She had been batting her lashes and smiling his way ever since they departed their last stop, and his patience for such frivolities was running low. so for now he strove to ignore the human's attempts at getting a rise out of him, less he ran them off the road.

His engine rumbled in a weary sigh. "Focus on the task at hand, little one. We'll be back at base soon enough."

She shoots him a smile in his mirror again. "And here I thought you enjoyed my company, getting sick of me already Hide?" She teases him.

Ironhide's engine responded with a grumble that was half irritation, half amusement. As trying as his Minx could be at times, he had to admit her bold spirit was refreshing and she did keep him on his toes.

"In small doses only, little witch," he retorted, though without any real bite to his words. "Your antics might be tolerable in brief stretches, keep your optics on the road, less we get ambushed by Decepticons" 

Still, there was a certain grudging fondness in the way his voice. For all her mischief, the human's fearless nature was what had drawn him to her, she wasn't military but a chance encounter had him on the run with her from Decepticon fire.

 In her own tiny way, she helped ease some of the weariness that had built up over countless vorns of endless conflict. Her voice he could listen to for aeons. 

Part of Ironhide didn't truly mind the company...so long as she minded her manners while in his cab, and kept her hands to herself while they drove.

"Fine guess I'll have to show off for someone else back on base" she states. He knows she's trying to get under his plating, and she knows how to get him. 

His engine rumbled warningly at that comment. While he knew she was just prodding him to get a reaction, the suggestion of flirting with another stirred a possessiveness in his circuits. 

"Watch it, fleshie," he growled, though without any real heat to the words. 

"Keep carrying on so and I may be inclined to park your backside right here until we're done," he blustered. But his warming cab and rumbling engine betrayed that any real ire was short-lived where she was concerned. Still, it wouldn't do to let her think she'd won so easily. 

Soft laughter falls from her lips, " jealous bot" she shoots back at him as the two finally arrive back at base. 

She gets chatty with security At the entrance to N.E.S.T 

Ironhide's engine uttered another warning grumble as she chatted away with the other humans, seemingly having forgotten her promise to mind her manners. His patience was wearing thin after the long drive, and he'd had just about enough of her frivolous games.

Pulling up as close to the hangar doors as his alt mode would allow, he popped open the driver side door with a pointed snap. "Out. Now," he rumbled, unwilling to play chauffeur any longer while she was in her mood to cause chaos.  

When she turned back with that coquettish smirk, Ironhide growled deep in his intakes. "Don't test me, fleshie. You've had your fun, now get inside like I said. Unless you'd rather I carry you in?" 

He knew full well manhandling the human would be crossing a line. But she had a way of pushing all his buttons without fail. 

She slowly moves to get out of his front seat. Her hands linger on the dashboard for a moment before she steps out onto the concrete. She's quick to walk inside after giving his tailgate a slap, a small laugh leaves her as she runs. 

With a grumble and hiss of hydraulics, Ironhide transformed once she had cleared his cab, looming over the hangar entrance. Ironhide let out an annoyed huff of exhaust as the girl once more tested his patience, That sharp little slap to his tailgate was the final straw.

Revving his engine menacingly, Ironhide rumbled forward until his massive bulk filled the hangar entrance, blocking any hope of escape back out the entrance. "Minx," he accused, optics narrowing at the smiling human within. "Do you enjoy pushing me this far every time?"

Despite his gruff tone, there was no true anger. After all this time, she knew full well how to get under his plating without ever crossing a line. And loathe as he was to admit, some small part of Ironhide even admired her spirit. 

Still, there were consequences to be had for such teasing. Leaning in until he is eye level with her "Consider this your official timeout, fleshling. Until I deem you've learned your lesson, you'll remain right where I put you."

With that, he sealed the hangar shut with a steely grinding of gears.  "Iron!" She squeals out only to gasp more as Ironhide grabs her before continuing further into his hanger, his human in hand. Her legs dangle between his digits as she holds onto him. "Oh my God you're an ass! Give me a warning next time" She shoots back at him

Ironhide huffed a gruff chuckle at the human's outburst. "And miss that precious little squeal? Not a chance, fleshie." 

"You know full well your games grate on my circuits, princess," he rumbled lightly. "A little fear is good for the spark. Keeps you on your toes and out of trouble." Not that he would ever hurt her. 

Once she was steady on her pedes again standing on their shared berth, more so crudely made slab with piles of her blankets and pillows on it "Consider that payback for your mischief, little pest. Next time, mind your hands and that smart mouth, lest I find a use for them." His field pulsed warm with amusement. 

 Soft little noises leave her as Ironhide's digits wrap around her pressing gently into her side, back and against her chest. 

Ironhide vented softly as his powerful digits carefully cradled the human's tiny frame. For all their teasing and bickering, in quiet moments like this he was reminded of just how fragile organics were. 

His field pulsed warm and gentle, laced with protectiveness as he gradually increased the pressure, testing her limits but taking care not to crush even an ounce of strength. "Comfortable, little one?" he rumbled softly. 

When she offered no protest, Ironhide began slowly massaging her back struts, mimicking the way she sometimes soothed his aching finger joints. Though his plating was rough-hewn metal and her skin oh so delicate.

A rumble rose from his frame, vibrating through her in a sensation she called a "purr." His optics were lidded in contentment, focusing only on her within his grasp. 

She slowly leans back into his touch. And as his digits travel further down she arches into his touch a small whine falls from her lips. She slowly grinds against Ironhide teasing digit. trying to make him get the picture of what she wanted and why she had been teasing him all day. 

Ironhide's engine revved sharply in surprise at the reaction his gentle touch elicited. His optics shuttered briefly.  "Minx," he scolded gently. "All this torment was for my attention, then?"

Lowering his face close, he nuzzled her tiny form with care before capturing her lips in a chaste kiss, its slow and soft, flesh against metal. Another whine leaves her lips as she looks up at him. "You've been too busy recently, I missed you" she states as he lays her down against the piles of blankets. Slowly hiking her dress up only to be met with nothing underneath. Ironhide stilled, intake caught in surprise at her display. His optics roved hungrily over the tempting view before him, unable to deny the allure of her plan so cunningly executed.

A low rumble rose from his chassis. "Devious creature," he purred, engine revving at the wanton invitation in her gaze. How could he refuse when she had so clearly orchestrated this?

His name softly falls from her lips. Her eyes flicker to where he kneels in front of the berth. Leaning down, he nuzzled her frame with utmost care "All this just for me?" His field pulsed hot and heady as he traced the seam of her folds with a single digit. 

Rising temptation warred with duty and honour. But her needful whine as she canted her hips persuaded him. Slowly Ironhide runs his glossa across sweet skin. She whines loudly when he leans down and runs his glossa between her folds sucking softly on her clit before he delivers back into teasing. Her hands grip his helm quickly. "Ironhide please" she calls out.

His glossa is enveloped in tight velvet warmth. His intake caught on a groan at sensations. He could never get enough of how sweet she tasted, she is sweeter than pre war energon candies. Ironhide rumbled deeply at her pleas, the sound vibrating through her very core as he worshipped her flesh. Making her gasp and cry out brought him no small amount of satisfaction to reduce his teasing femme to putty in his grasp with nothing but tongue. 

"Easy, little one," he crooned against her wetness. With maddening slowness he circled her clit, cataloguing every hitch of her breath, every whimper and sigh. Ever so carefully Ironhide delved his glossa inside.

 Ironhide rumbled deep in approval as she rode his glossa without restraint, soft hips bucking against his mouth. making her pleasure his sole focus in that moment. Her cries and moans only spurred him on, lapping eagerly at her slick flesh.

One hand braced against her hip to hold her steady, But Ironhide was far from passive, pressing his glossa as deep as he was able between each thrust. The vibrations of his rumbling engine only enhanced every sensation. 

When her hips began to canter erratically, Ironhide redoubled his efforts. Cried out moans leave her lips as her orgasm hits, hips bucking in irregular patterns as she sobs out Ironhide's name. With one final curl of his glossa, he felt her walls flutter madly around him. Greedily Ironhide lapped up every drop of her release, savouring this sweet taste. 

Yet still he craved more of her intoxicating and addictive taste, seeking to prolong her bliss for as long as was within his power. 

Carefully he manoeuvred her limp frame until she straddled his glossa once more, keening softly as the hypersensitive flesh of her clit met his eager mouth. Slowly Ironhide tongued her folds, memorising every detail as her flavour grew sweeter still in her fluttering aftershocks. "Ironhide!" She moans out loudly. 

One of his hands trailed maddeningly along her back, tracings her spine, caressing and stroking anew. Ironhide growled around his mouthful, greedily drinking in every drop he could  as shudders wracked her frame.

Retreating only when she sagged fully sated against him, Ironhide cradled her close to his chassis, content merely to hold her. Her breathing calmed as he nuzzled her adoringly, spark swelling with quiet joy. 

She lays content against him, soft pants leaving her lips as Ironhide brings her pile of blankets up for her. She slowly snuggles into him through the blankets. Ironhide himself is content to put off mission reports for his little minx.

Ironhide's engine rumbled softly in wordless affection as the human curled contentedly against his chassis, safely wrapped in makeshift padding. Her soft respiration and fluttering pulse cycled down into sated recharge, safe in his guarded embrace.

Adjusting until he was lounging comfortably, Ironhide idly stroked her naked back, tracing glyphs into soft flesh

Until then, Ironhide was content simply to monitor her recharge and bask in the aftermath. The closeness of her tiny frame to his mighty systems never ceased to stir something deep within.

Her presence soothed the savage rages of battle, tempering even his trigger-happy impulses into something nobler. "Minx" he mumbles softly before settling in to recharge himself. 

[mimiyewaffles]

A FEW INTERESTING THINGS

I guess I need help

So if y'all dont know, I'm trying to revise my boyfriend's d3ath.

It's been two months since I have been affirming and a few days since I got into the concept of void. Now, I'm trying to get into the void.

I've noticed a few crazy things, that I would love to share.

I've always affirmed that “everyone will forget about my boyfriend's demise because it was just my nightmare and no such thing ever happened. He's all alive and healthy” So I guess my affirmations are kinda playing out.

1.

When I got to know about his demise, I sent him like 100 texts that day, I was so emotional and poured down everything to him. He not only is my boyfriend, but also is my best friend. The bestest friend ever and it was the worst day of my life. I was never ready to lose him.

I sent those 100 texts to him on Snapchat and obviously, my texts were just delivered. Nobody read them because that "nobody" Was long gone. I'm talking about feb, 2024. So I checked his snapchat after a few days of emotional ranting, and those texts didn't show up. I thought it might be a glitch and now after like 3 months, I went back to check on him because I missed him and guess what? ALL OF THOSE TEXTS ARE GONE!

Now idk if I'm tweaking but wtf? Snapchat has this feature where messages get deleted after 24 hours of being seen. But nobody saw my messages to begin with, where are those texts????

Like... All the snaps, that were sent before those texts and even after those texts are still in delivered, not seen.

Can anyone tell me if this is a glitch? This couldn't be, right? It's been 3 months to that incident, if it were glitch, it would have been fixed by now but idk-

2.

My bf would post about his travelling and stuffs in Instagram reels and I often visit his account to look at him all alive once again and one day, I noticed one of his reels cover has changed 💀 and I even showed it to my sister and friend and they were shocked too. I thought it might be a glitch too. But it stayed like that for 3 days and then switched back to what it was before.

This might be a glitch idk honestly but my friend said it might be a "timeline/dimensions overlapping"

3.

Two of my close friends are really logical minded and I never told them about my manifestation/shifting to a reality where my bf never got into an accident, because they wouldn't believe me. They don't even believe in multiple realities... So, not worth it.

A week ago, I texted one of these friends, saying that I feel like my bf is alive (emotional ranting) and all she told me was to hold up and move on, I'm thinking way too much 😮‍💨

And that's that. We didn't talk much about it.

After a few days of that, she texted me herself telling me that she feels the same. She feels as if my bf is alive too and maybe faking a death. We didn't get into the conclusion but yeah, we are still in doubt.

Also I would daydream about meeting my bf once again and i would make infinite possibilities to proof my reasoning mind that he's alive. So one of my imagination was my friend texting my bf's brother (they have nothing in common, they don't even know each other yet I imagined them talking) and his brother would say that my boyfriend is actually alive. And that scene exactly happened, except for the alive part. my friend talked to his brother to get his "last" Pics and guess what? They don't have that. Which is super weird because that accident just happened this year and those photos are gone. I texted one of his other brother who always replies to my texts and always give me updates about how their family is grieving but when I asked about pics, he left me on seen— again very weird.

Moreover, all of them (his family members) have moved on completely. They are enjoying and travelling. Idk how but like in a month of my bf's demise, they started partying a stuff which is super weird to me.

.....

I guess my affirmations are kinda becoming true. My 3D is maybe conforming slowly (?) Idk 😭

Lemme know what y'all think. Any tips on revising such thing would be appreciated. Thanks for reading 🎐

I'm sorry if I don't make any sense, I'm probably being delusional. Sorry for the rant 🥲🤌

[fryktheciller]

Cooler

charlie dalton x gn!reader

summary: a summer evening at dalton's place

notes: hi!! this is the first ff i actually finished writing and im dying inside at the thought of posting it. english isnt my first language and im posting this at 2 am, after a poor revision, idk what to say expect spelling mistakes and sentences that dont make sense and raskolnikov-like blurb cause im him hes me and ok i really need to close this paragraph.

Days fly by with Dalton. His parents, two goddamn toffs, sure had great taste, both in furniture and especially in friends. God bless that day his parents decided to become best friends with yours.

Can't say the same about their son, Charlie, a professional dickhead, from the day you knew each other until the day he'd close his eyes and become cold. Sure, he's hot and pretty and oh so charming; sometimes he can also be kind and gentle, but he's got something that’s scary magnetic, and addictive, or at least you think so. That something’s everywhere: in the way he moves his hands while he's explaining the last shitplan he’s come up with while smoking on the balcony; the way he rolls up his shirt, thinking it will help doing a math test, knowing damn well he's going to pass by a stroke of pure luck; or the way he plays the most outrageous melody on his sax, still making it somehow so good and passionate. Also (did I mention it?) he's quite literally the definition of gorgeous—the definition of kalokagathia, except it’s all looks and no agathia. The whole thing’s like: I could love him. And you, oh so desperately!, do. 

The sun’s setting, it’s humid, and the air’s filled with the scent of flowers and the smoke of Charlie’s cigarette. 

–Want one?- He hands you his torn-out red Marlboro packet and his lighter.

You take one and light it up, sitting on the balcony’s hot tiles. 

–Got no dates this summer?

He shrugs, smiling and blowing smoke into your face.

–Got asked out a couple of times before school was over. It's that I'm not interested, don't really know why.

You drag from your cigarette and blow the smoke out, then lightly tap it to get rid of excess ash. 

–Milord, if you may forgive the vulgar language I’m about to use, us peasants call it being in love, or having an interest in someone. Again, sorry for using such vulgar and disgraceful language.

He laughs, and you laugh along with him.

He puts out the cigarette on the tiles, and shrugs again. 

–I don't know.

–It’s not that you don't know; you'd like not to know. Falling in love with someone must be such a sin in the Charlie Dalton religion.

He laughs mechanically, somehow. He hesitates, smiles, and, once again, shrugs. 

–Generally I try to avoid these statements, but now I can't help but embrace them. I've given up.

You laugh, and he follows you—heartily, even. 

–But you?

–Me?

He gestures vaguely with his hand, and you find yourself staring at it with lust, almost. 

–Laid those pretty eyes on someone?

You shrug.

–Nothing much.

–What does that even mean? It's either yes or no. You said it. 

–Didn’t say it. I implied it

–Smartass.

–You’re just jealous of my linguistic capacities.

–Sure I am. Now is it some new incestuos-alien-being who doesn’t even know what a woman is, or is it someone worthy of your admiration?

 –He’s…definitely worth my attention. I think. But I have no hopes. I count on nothing. The thing is: do you really have such low consideration for my romantic interests?

You raise an eyebrow at him, almost mischievously. 

–Not at all. I remember all of those creatures you swore to your mother you loved. And, oh god!, you might expect to find someone pretty on a list that's basically a decade long, but no! Each and one of them is outrageous-looking and with absolutely no social skills. Sometimes, I’ll be honest, I really wondered if you were joking, and for some time I even believed that. But what a realization it was when I understood you found those things pretty.

You both laugh again, and you visualize and remember all those “people” you liked and that you now look at with disgust and apathy.

You’re folded over your stomach, tears of laughter streaming down your face, your tummy hurts, and you can't breathe; he's no different, lying down on the floor, arms wrapped around his stomach, wet lines at the corners of his face, and misty eyes; almost like he was thinking about the same thing as you.

As soon as you thought it was over, anything like a weird look was enough to get you both to start laughing.

–Good god,– you whisper, wiping off the tears with your fingers.

–I think I have never laughed so much at something I said. 

A smile is enough as a response; anything else would kill you.

–By the way, he’s really pretty.

He raises an eyebrow, almost trying to contradict you. 

You smile at him, as if trying to get him started on a debate.

–Description?– he asks, understanding your intentions.

–No, for god’s sake. 

–Not even a hint? A tiny little hint?

–Nothing, absolutely nothing. 

How would you describe this person anyway? “A brunette and dark-eyed boy who plays the saxophone and is a dickhead for a living”? It’s ridiculously explicit. 

–How ‘bout you? It's not that I care, but, you know...

He laughs in response.

–No, you’d tell them.

–Why would I do that? I most likely have no clue who that is.

He shakes his head. 

–Do I know them, at least?

He shrugs and hesitates.

 –Pretty much, yes.

Your head hurts; your stomach is practically in your throat; and you spat your heart long ago. You hope to God that he doesn't come up with a “it’s you” thing because you would faint on the spot. 

–Oh, but it’s your turn now,– he says, nudging you with his elbow.

–Do you know him? ...uhh yes, I suppose so. 

–Great.

–Yeah.

Silence falls between you. You tilt your head and look at the sky, intense, dark, and somehow transparent and clear, like it is only in summer; the air is now fresher, and a soft breeze rises, contrasting with the boiling heat of the tiles. Everything’s humid, full of the scent of flowers, from both florid and almost empty plants, frogs croaking, and fireflies, opposing the equally intense beaming, but perhaps less faint, of the stars. 

Your head still hurts; you can see but you can't really see; you still have the laughter from before in your tummy, and thinking about it still makes you chuckle. 

He seems to ignore you. He lit up another cigarette. “What’s he thinking about?” you think, looking at the sun-colored and bustling flame from the lighter, then at the less intense and steadier one on the tobacco. 

“Must be so unhealthy for him to smoke like this,” you think, and you find yourself pitying him, "ridiculous," is your comment. It is indeed ridiculous to pity someone who rejects deeply and obstinately the concept of that feeling. 

You want to hold him against your chest or on your shoulder, smell the scent of his skin, and keep him close, even if that means dying from the heat. You stare at his profile—that huge yet so perfect nose; that big hand, well-kept like only a musician can do; then the cigarette, already half-burnt; and his lips, chapped and dry. You look at them with lust once again, but not lust lust, something more tender and sweeter, rather than sinful, even though the sin part doesn't really bother you. 

“Tell him, c'mon, tell him,” a little voice in your head was screaming. Of course you’re not going to tell him, or maybe yes? What would happen if you did? You'd lose a friendship that's scary long; that’s what would happen. And what would you do without him? Could you make it? Of course not. You don't remember what it feels like not to have him by your side. Plus, he wouldn't forget: who the hell would forget the love confession from their best friend anyway?

“C'mon, tell him, tell him!” You swear you hear that tiny voice screaming at the top of its lungs.

No, you won't tell him; you'll bring your feelings to the grave with you. 

He put out the cigarette, still in silence. 

“C'mon!! Carpe diem, for fuck’s sake!” What does that even mean? Can I kill a man because I thought “carpe diem" ? That doesn't make any fucking sense. And when did you really start to love him? Months ago? Days ago? Years ago? It could have been yesterday; you’d swear you’ve been loving him for years. 

You start to embrace the idea of telling him. “How would I even put up the whole sentence?” You can't do anything but tell him. Let's be honest; it feels like lying to him, and would you want someone else to tell him rather than you?

–Char

He turns at you with a questioning gaze on his face. Your heart's beating so fast that you feel your arteries are going to explode.

–Can’t beat around the bush much longer, you know. That person…

You pale, feeling the blood pump hard in your temples, and you start to wonder if those were really your last words.

–Cool.

He doesn't feel the same way; it's clear. 

–It's even cooler because I really like you too.

You smile and start to chuckle; it feels like fresh air after holding your breath for too long. He responds with a soft laugh, heartily, then wraps an arm around your shoulders and brings your figure next to hiss, kissing your forehead with those chapped and dry lips that feel like a fresh towel you washed without fabric softener. 

–Were you going to confess your sins eventually?– You joke, still smiling.

–Perhaps, yes. Seems like we’re going to be busy earlier than I expected, though. 

He smirks, a flashing Charlie Dalton smirk. You groan, annoyed, in response.

–Fucking disgusting, Charlie.

–Sure, sure. 

–It's too hot to have sex, Charlie. Don't tell me you don't think so.

–You just told me you liked me, and you have already started to protest?

He shakes his head in mock disapproval.

–You’re not going anywhere, like this.

You chuckle.

–Kiss me, and I'll stop whining.

–Could have told me earlier, maybe we could have actually got to have sex,– he laughs, leaning in. 

His lips are on yours; they're soft, gente, and warm, but still rough and dry. 

God, this boy needs chapstick so badly.

[boy-gender]

Post-Top Surgery Weight Gain: Will My Breasts Grow Back? (Nope!)

I've had a couple people message me asking about this privately, and it was something I had a fear of when I was getting ready for top surgery, so I wanted to address it in a public post:

After top surgery, your breasts will NOT grow back, even if you are not on testosterone. No, not even if you gain weight.

The chest is, to borrow Shrek's wisdom, like an onion, and has many layers. The ones top surgery is concerned with are the chest wall (muscle), the breast tissue, fat, and skin, in that order.

Your chest wall is a bunch of muscle that protects your organs. This will not be removed or touched. Your breast tissue sits on top of that, and this is what will be removed during surgery, leaving just enough tissue to make your chest proportional to your body. Very few people have totally flat chests. On top of this is body fat, much of which will also be removed or reshaped during surgery. Then there is your skin, and your nipples. Typically nipples (including areola, the area around your nips) will be taken off, trimmed down to a smaller 'masculine' shape, then grafted back on. Or you don't have to get your nipples back at all! I didn't, so it's up to you.

To reiterate: your breast tissue will NEVER regrow. Your nipples and areola will NEVER regrow, regardless of if you are on T or not.

However, FAT may fluctuate in this area. If you lose weight, whether on T or not, you will probably lose fat here and may have loose skin, which many surgeons can address in revisions. If you gain a substantial amount of weight and are not on T, you may gain more fat here- take a look at your close female relatives. When they gain weight, do they gain it in their breasts and side-boob area? When they lose weight, do they go down a cup size?

If you are on T, testosterone will change the way your body distributes the weight it gains. Look at your close male relatives. I'd be willing to bet money that when they gain weight, they gain it predominantly in their stomach. When you are on T, your body will probably begin to redistribute the way it gains fat to a more 'typically male' pattern, like the stomach, as opposed to hips, thighs, and chest.

Something to keep in mind, especially for fat people but really for anyone getting top surgery: YOUR ANGLE IS DIFFERENT! Look down at your chest right now, pre op. You can see aalllll the way down your cleavage. But if you asked someone standing in front of you if they could see all your cleavage, they could not. Even if you were naked, you seeing your own chest from a top-down angle makes things look further out/rounder/bigger than how other people see you.

Please keep this in mind when you look at your surgery results- the fat that was left behind and reshaped on me looks bigger/rounder to me, looking down, than to other people looking at me. And this is only in resting position! Move your arms around (once it's safe dont do this freshly out of surgery please dear god), raise them over your head, put them out to your sides and T pose. Look at the way the fat moves under your skin and around your body; how it looks 'flatter' in some positions and 'rounder' in others. This is totally normal! This is what skin and fat are supposed to do, and do on everyone who has skin and fat! These are NOT breasts, and they will NEVER be breasts again.

I hope this helps some peoples fears be assuaged. I know it can feel silly to ask if your breasts will grow back, but it is a valid fear, especially for plus size people, and it is also a fear I hope is now at rest. Your breasts will never come back. You're gonna look and feel great.

tl;dr- no, your boobs will never come back after top surgery, regardless of whether you are on T or not. you might have leftover fat here or gain fat here, but this is a universally human experience, and happens to cis men just as much as any other person. also, your angle viewing your own chest from the top-down is a misleading optical illusion that is not accurate to what other people see looking at you front on.

[agaypanic]

Headcannons on being the Davenports bestfriend 💗

Being Best Friends With the Davenports Headcanons

Masterlist

Request Something!

A/N: this is probably asking for being best friends with all of them at the same time, but i’m gonna do individual headcanons. also even tho it says davenport, im also adding leo (i know he’s technically a davenport but idk i dont see him as a davenport i see him as a dooley)

***

Adam

You always enable and encourage his silly ideas

Which his family doesn’t like much

But you and Adam have fun, so you don’t care much

You help him with his homework a bunch

He doesn’t like asking Chase for help bc he makes him feel really dumb

Your favorite activity is probably going to the zoo bc he loves all the animals

You peeked through the front door of the Davenport’s house. When the coast was clear, you opened the door wider and waved for Adam to come in. How he was gonna hide this when his family saw, you didn’t know.

“What is that?” Leo’s sudden voice made the two of you jump. He had come from down the hall, and was staring at you with an incredulous look and pointed finger. 

“Lunch,” Adam answered, pointing at the bag of food in your hand. Leo rolled his eyes, furiously trying to make where he was pointing more obvious.

“No, that!” 

You and Adam looked at the alpaca that Leo was pointing to, knowing you were unable to avoid it any longer.

“Oh my gosh, how did that get there?” You asked dumbly, as if you didn’t help Adam break it out of the zoo and bring it home.

“This is definitely the first time I’ve seen this,” Adam said in a faux shocked tone, petting the alpaca’s head. “But since it’s here, we can keep it, right?”

Bree

You guys become extremely close extremely fast

Being surrounded by guys all her life, you’re very refreshing to be around

The two of you love to gossip

About who’s with whom, her siblings’ antics, everything and nothing

You guys like going to the mall to shop, eat, and catch up

Even though you hang out literally every day

“Oh my gosh, did I tell you what happened with my brothers this week?” Bree asked as she looked through a rack of shirts.

“You probably have, but tell me anyway.” You laugh, looking at the clothes with her.

“So Leo likes this girl, right? And Chase comes up with some plan to get her to fall for him- oh, this is cute. Well, anyways, it completely backfires, and she ends up going after Adam.”

“No.” You gasped.

“Yes! And that’s not even the craziest part.” Bree took something off the rack and held it up to you, wanting your opinion. You nodded furiously at the sight, and she grinned, adding it to the try-on pile of clothes she was carrying. “So Chase tells Leo that he’ll talk to the girl for him, and guess what.”

“What? Does she start liking Chase?” You ask jokingly. Bree raised her eyebrows at you and pursed her lips, signaling you were correct. “No!”

“Yes!”

Chase

Yall are that duo at school

Smart, sassy, and pretty

You guys sign up for extracurriculars like science fair and debate club together

Even though he’s literally the smartest man in the world, he likes having you go over his work

Very occasionally, he’ll miss a detail, and you’ll point it out

But he mainly just likes the validation

But you also never hesitate to put him in his place when needed

“Hey, can you read this over for me?” Chase asked as he handed you his laptop. You decided to come over to watch a movie when he suddenly remembered he needed to revise one of his papers for a class. 

Pausing the TV, you set the computer on your lap and read the essay. You didn’t comment until you were finished, handing the laptop back to Chase.

“Pretty good.” You said, playing the movie again.

“I knew it.” Chase gloated, reclining on the couch next to you. “Perks of being the smartest guy ever.”

“Yeah, well, you also misspelled ‘and,’ genius.” You laughed as you watched him scramble for his computer, looking through every word to find the mistake. “Perks of not knowing how to type, I guess.”

“Shut up.” He grumbled, fixing the error and crossing his arms with a pout.

Leo

The blind leading the blind

You encourage all of his delusions, mainly because you think it’s funny

You two are a comedic duo tbh

You guys bounce off each other really well

Before the bionic trio, you always defended Leo from bullies

You still do sometimes

Leo was currently talking your ear off about his current crush, some girl named Danielle. This was part of your guys’ routine. He’d tell you about someone he liked, you’d tell him that the two of them were meant to be, something would go wrong, you’d laugh about it, and then Leo would find someone new the next week.

“We’re so close to being boyfriend and girlfriend; I can feel it!” He said excitedly.

“Oh yeah.” You nodded, trying to suppress a laugh. “I know that if I had a boyfriend, I’d want him to be my human footstool because it’s what I deserve.”

“Exactly! You’re like the only one who gets it.”

“Ooh, there she is now.” You said, looking over his shoulder to see his girl of the week at her locker. “She came into the same hallway you’re in, so she clearly wants to see you. You should go talk to her.”

“Really?” Leo asked, slowly standing up. You nodded and pushed him in Danielle’s direction, waiting for everything to unfold. 

Leo somehow found the courage to talk to Danielle, but it was a pretty short conversation. When she walked away, she looked at him from over her shoulder and said goodbye.

“See you later, Lenny!”

The name made you bust out laughing, almost weak in the knees to stand up and go over to the now somewhat sad boy.

“Better luck next time, Lenny.” You said, patting his shoulder and laughing some more.

[determinate-negation]

as one of the foremost psychoanalysis posters on my dash i was wondering if you've heard this account of freud's early career: while treating women for hysteria he found that most of them were assaulted by male family members as children & developed psychological problems as a result (seduction theory?). but his writings on it were unpopular (especially among the wealthy men whose daughters he was treating), so he came up with the oedipus & electra complex as an alternate explanation that let his clients off the hook, instead saying that something just went wrong internally (lundy bancroft called it the beginning of victim-blaming in psychology).

as someone who knows more than i about this field, do you know if there's any accuracy to this story? it seems to imply psychosexual development theory exists to cover up traumatic events, which puts a shaky foundation under any later theories drawing from it, and people often dismiss all of freud & psychoanalysis because of it...

yes its true about the history seduction theory but im not entirely sure if it is as directly correlated to the oedipus complex as it often is thought by critics of freud, and i dont think it invalidates the principles of psychoanalysis as a whole. his correspondence with some other doctors in the 1890s are directly related to seduction theory and you can see that the issue of seduction theory concerned him a lot and he was reluctant to dismiss it but was very influenced by society at the time.

another complicating factor is that much of freuds work was preserved by his daughter anna freud, who was for the most part a conservative force in psychoanalysis both in her own practice and in how she presented his work. a lot of his letters and writings are omitted and edited because of her, including things that show his own ambivalence about certain ideas and how his relationships with other doctors and psychiatrists influenced him to take certain positions.

this article goes into it a bit and you can see the ways that anna freud has influenced our knowledge of freud and a little bit about this period of his studies. i think another thing people really miss when they talk about freud is that so much modern medicine we currently use today came from this time period as well and just as much of the "hard sciences" also came from some things that seem pretty ridiculous and unscientific to us today, and many just outright wrong, but only psychoanalysis is given so much skepticism and criticism.

this is not to defend it, freud was absolutely incorrect in many cases and, contrary to popular views of him, very aware of the limits of his knowledge and the inaccuracies inherent in pioneering any new type of medicine. this especially he emphasizes- that any new science is bound to make errors and be imprecise. freud constantly was reformulating his ideas and made many revisions to psychosexual theory throughout his life, not to mention by all the psychoanalysts who came after him. historically, its not surprising that freud and the other pioneering psychoanalysts, most of them austrian and german jews already occupying an uneasy position, were led to revise some of their more radical discoveries that appeared to threaten turn of the century european society. psychoanalysis was considered extremely shocking and obscene at the time for even venturing to say that sexuality had such a presence in peoples lives, and that people were not moved entirely by reason and rationality (as this was the era of the enlightenment and a lot of optimism about science) so sure its disappointing but not surprising that freud retracted some of his more controversial views. and likely he would not have been as successful if he did not retract them, unfortunately. similarly with some of his writings on bisexuality that seem to point to the idea that there is no natural drive towards heterosexuality and there is no natural form sexuality takes.

the oedipus complex came more from other studies and freuds own self analysis than from seduction theory (to my knowledge at least) freud actually applied the oedipus complex only to young boys initially and has some stuff (that in my opinion holds up fairly well today and is compatible with ideas of construction of sexual and gendered difference we have now) about how young girls only come to the position of seeing the father as a love object after they realize through societal and family norms they are not meant to want the mother and 'unwillingly' (this is how freud and other early psychoanalysts describe it) are forced to identify with the mother and desire the father. freud rejected the idea of a parallel electra complex for women broke with jung over this, among other things.

im very much against this idea of freud as the founder of modern misogyny or the "beginning of victim blaming in psychology." this is a myopic historiography that ignores how radical freuds approach was in comparison with psychology and medical science at the time. most physicians at the time believed that patients hysteric or neurotic symptoms were either signs of a physical organic disease or that they were consciously faking them and in control of them. (why is freud the father of victim blaming and not these doctors?) common treatment would mainly be locking them up to be studied or dubious 19th century surgeries and medical treatments. freud was one of the first to ever propose that hysteric and neurotic patients were not purposefully consciously deciding to do this but unconsciously reacting to something that happened to them, that symptoms represented a patient history that may be unknown or unarticulated to them but could be brought out by associations etc. thus that no symptoms are random or meaningless, all have some psychic significance, and it can be uncovered through analysis. this is the most crucial discovery of psychoanalysis, and although i think it was wrongly applied to seduction theory, he shows it time and again in many of his other clinical studies and interpretation of dreams, and it does not invalidate the whole of psychoanalysis

[bettsfic]

hi betts, lately ive found myself absolutely terrified to write a fic/novel thing ive spent so many years planning and developing about. i dont think i know how to write it. ive found chapters format make me really anxious and clueless but i dont know how it can go in any other way because its always a novel thing; ive considered laying it all out a la webnovel but i dont think it works. whats your wisdom? do you ever get caught in similar things?

sometimes i think the clearer something is in your head, the harder it can be to put on the page, because prose is inherently linear and imagination isn't. you have to do the work of articulating what you see in a way that's logical and organized to the reader in the hope they'll see it too. prose is very flawed in that way. but it also creates an intimacy between reader and text that i don't think any other medium really possesses.

the problem is that when you do get it on the page, it's going to come out bad and out of order. no matter how comfortable you get with revision and rewriting, i don't think that initial "oh god this sucks, this isn't what i want at all" discomfort doesn't go away.

personally what's been working for me lately is that i do all my brainstorming by hand and then all my early drafting on a typing machine called a Pomera. it's a Japanese device that's just a text editor. literally nothing else. you type on it. that's been a big game changer for me. i bought it to help stay away from distractions while i write but i've found i enjoy having a separate place entirely for early drafting. it's very hard to nitpick text on a tiny screen that you can only navigate with arrow keys. there are similar devices and ways to replicate what i use my Pomera for, but that's my system.

as for chapters, they're really only an organizational system the writer needs to make sense of the major movements of the story. if making chapters doesn't do that for you, then, i mean, it's not like the reader needs them. readers need scene breaks i think, and maybe the occasional page break, but chapters are very much a benefit to the writer. it's a lot easier to wrap your head around "i'm revising chapter 7" than "i'm revising that part where my character goes to the hospital."

i don't start with chapters. i start almost everything with four boxes and i put all my scene ideas in those four boxes. the story never stays that way (always becomes 5 parts. always.), but that's how i start. when i begin writing a story, the chaptering happens on its own. i get to a natural break in the story (a high point, not a low one), and then that helps to set the pace.

so my advice is to start writing and let the story teach you how it wants to be organized.

[buwheal]

Hi! (This message is for you, not spamton) could you please add some still images under the animated gif/maybe post them separately? Your animation work is amazing but it makes the text a bit hard to read when it automatically switches to the next text box. Of course you dont have to do any of this, ill still read every single ask you get <33

Auurrghh i totally forget sometimes people cant read as fast as i'd like him to talk!!!!! If youre having trouble reading what he's saying, feel free to send an ask or something or other to contact me and ill give you the stills!! I'll also try to include all the dialogue in the tags aswell, so if you arent sure what he said just click that beautiful post link for my original post and tags :-3

ALSO! If that seems too much of a hassle, despite being non-looping, you /can/ refresh them, mobile ESPECIALLY. For mobile all it really takes is a click to view the image and it will automatically refresh from the start! Opening the image in a new tab or a new link (i.e. a reblog) if youre on the web and not the app also works aswell. I revise gifs after i post them a lot lol...

[pempempemto]

Hello! I am someone who is a big fan of yours, I read your Au and I am very interested but I want to ask, is Michael and Eclipse's relationship based simply on friendship or could there be something more? (don't take this the wrong way, I'm just curious) If it's just friendship, they have a nice friendship!

I really like your AU :) I would be very grateful if you could answer it, and sorry, my native language is not English, I speak Spanish and I am using the translator.

dont worry, its a good question ! also thank you for enjoying my stuff i appreciate it ssososo much

anyway, i think michael and eclipse’s relationship is. up to intepretation. whatever you’d like ! but i suppose if i want to delve into specifics into how I see them then i think its .. something very special !

theyre definitely friends, yes, and with time theyve become very close. the whole .. daycare attendant is reminiscent of ennard, especially when michael finds them but somehow its like.. warm. its nice.

and for eclipse, well michael is. a lot ! i think something about him triggers part of his daycare attendant tendencies, which is.. strange, and yet michael’s so self sacrificing and all and its

just strange all around

but they got through that whole.. ruin thing together, and yknow. its a nice bonding moment for them i think. and its a bond that gets stronger with time because yknow i think after all theyve been true their prescence is like .. safe .

im not sure if this makes sense, i might revise it later since its . kinda late but

yeah ! theyr close

[dreemurr-skelememer]

hey i don’t know anything about dreamtale or whatever and i’m gonna be honest i’m not 100% sure how i even get here BUT you appear to be an authority on this thing so i will ask you; if dream and nightmare have a sibling-like relationship… why are they both sanses????? why not have one of them be a papyrus??? (actually i could ask that about pretty much every au why are so many of them JUST SANS)

HAHAHAHA "an authority on this thing," that's so funny LOL unfortunately im just really annoying about it

simplest reason is: sans is popular! and that's great!! he's my favorite character and he's everywhere bc he's popular.

complicated reason (without me getting salty) is probably because they're twins. that's all i can think of.

the other reason is ermmmm idk i don't wanna get salty and nitpicky and petty about joku (the dreamtale creator) on main (for the millionth time)

idk if it helps any, when i tried a revision of dreamtale w a friend a few years back, i also thought it was odd 😭 so we made papyrus twins for another tree in the lore (idk we made shit up, i dont remember what we changed the other tree to)