#anti Edward Cullen

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

okay so everything about twilight is the same, except bella is a fantastic piano player. she is wayyy better than edward. debussy who? how does this change things? how does edward feel that a hamburger is better than him at piano? PIANO IS SUPPOSED TO BE HIS THING DAMNIT!!

Oh, anon, I love your faith.

Nothing changes because of two things.

Bella and Her Self-Esteem

Bella's convinced she's an average piano player at best. She knows enough to admit she's okay, she can play when other people have no idea how to play at all, but she wouldn't call herself 'good'. There are so many people who are so much more talented and wonderful and amazing than her.

Bella, meanwhile, has to actually sit down and do things like practice because sometimes concertos are really hard.

I imagine she's also morbidly embarrassed because while it's cool to play casually and all that, she's maybe a little too into this and OH GOD, SHE'S A FREAK.

And maybe if she was really really good, it'd be impressive and wonderful, but since she's so into it but just okay, it's just weird.

Edward and His Ego

Edward is absolutely convinced he is better than Bella. Oh, he hears her play and she's good, for a human, but he can play faster by nature, has a greater handspan than her, and will just be able to play things she physically can't.

Of course, her playing is wonderful (for a human) and he loves it because it is as human and imperfect and soulful as she is, but he's better.

He also composes, and Bella certainly doesn't do that.

Helping this is Bella insisting he is better, wow he's so amazing, and she could never do what he does and looks so beautiful doing it. And the composing? Wow.

[threestargirls]

“and if i could give you the moon, i would give you the moon. you are sick, and you’re married. but you’re holding me like water in your hands.” [moon song, phoebe bridgers]

my moodboard for jacob black ♡

[kwop-kilawtley]

EVERYTHING we love about bella is stripped away by Edward and vampirism. Her clumsiness, her blush, her brown eyes. The way she loves the sun and Arizona. She loved to cook and now she will never eat again. She hated the cold and now she is cold stone. Edward discards her truck and replaces it with a brand new Mercedes’ she didn’t even like. Which always felt like symbolism to me. Some may see it as an upgrade, as a nice gift… but Bella never wanted it. Think of how EXCITED she was to get that truck and how uncomfortable she was then with the Mercedes. If Bella wanted an upgrade, SHE SHOULDVE PICKED THE CAR. But no.. Edward literally just DISCARDED IT. Bella never liked flashy things or parties but now she’s subjected to that forever.

I think it’s fucking insane that people will say theyre Team Edward cause they’re not “anti-choice.” What did y’all read bc….. what. Just because Bella chooses to be a vampire? To die? She was OBSESSED with the easy way out. She was obsessed with Edward cause they were trauma bonded and she had such horrific self esteem. Just cause Bella chose to be a vampire doesn’t make it a good thing. It is a tragedy and always will be to me. Unless you never gave a fuck about her as a human I suppose. 😗✌️ Bella is an unreliable narrator and was under vampire thrall. Bella was severely traumatized by Edward and felt worthless as a human. Bella had a chance to grow with Jacob and she WOULD HAVE. But she would have PTSD that she could work through. You may be like “she would’ve never gotten over edward.” Yeah she would’ve and she would’ve realized that him haunting her was all Stockholm syndrome.

I’m not “anti choice” for acknowledging Bella’s choice was the wrong one. ExB’s relationship ruined lives, killed people, put the wolfpack through literal HELL and eventually enslaved the wolfpack to them. All for “love” LMAO! It wasn’t love, it was obsession, bloodlust, trauma bonding, low self worth, co dependency.

Anyway. I started a Breaking Dawn rewrite fic where Bella realizes all this shit and heals.

[dukeofdelirium]

crazy how Smeyer’s mormon ass got away w writing a whole series of novels packed full of anti native racism and that the tribe she portrayed in her books are a real fucking tribe and that she tried to make the fanbase view the native characters as evil and dangerous and bad when the Cullens are literally rich, white, immortal and could fucking live anywhere on planet earth (including underwater cuz they don’t fucking BREATHE) yet they stay RIGHT next to the tribe which FORCES THE NATIVE BOYS TO SHAPESHIFT AGAINST THEIR WILL

she deadass wrote Edward casually thinking about committing native genocide and everyone saw that and was like “No biggie” and it’s literally a real fucking tribe she’s writing about… HELLO???

[therealvinelle]

Would Edward be jealous if he knew that Bella thought Carlisle and Rosalie were hot hot hot?

It's factually correct they are hot hot hot, I imagine he'd nod approvingly to the Carlisle bit and disapprovingly to the Rosalie bit. She is hot, that is a fact, it's also the problem with her. This is the man who suggested Jacob get Bella pregnant since she wants a child so badly, jealousy is not on Edward's radar in any conventional way.

The most adverse reaction I can imagine is an angsty "Yes, we are all beautiful in this family... BECAUSE WE ARE MONSTERS".

[darkcrowprincess]

Team Jacob thoughts:

What pisses me off about Bella is she talks about the Cullens being this perfect found family she always wanted(when they're not) when she already had a potential found family she never saw or appreciated in Charlie and Jacob and his family and her friends Jessica and Angela who tried to connect with her. And the tribe. Like she hand a family right there growing up with her every time she visited every summer. And she never saw it. The Cullens are not a family. They're cold ghosts that Carlisle is desperately trying to keep together with his very cruel choices. There's no way your telling me that Emmett and Rosalie would not bail on them the second there was a chance they can be human again and grow old together and have babies. Esme is a suicidal stepford wife trying to mother ghosts that are too old to mother. Edward just wants to die but Carsile won't let him. And Alice and Jasper are a disaster security risk waiting to happen. One is insane spoiled brat and the other is a Confederate soldier that can easily kill anyone without trying. They are not a family. And Bella got shackled to that and dragged Jacob down with her.

(Don't like don't read. Post hate and I'll block you!)

[thebellekeys]

Exhibit A: here

Exhibit B: here

[pizzawrench]

my new moon notes ….

[spacerockfloater]

Greetings loved ones, since I’ve made my disdain for Rhysand well known in the Tumblr ACOTAR community, I’ve decided I might as well come forward and shit on the OG Dark Mind-Reading Evil Male Love Interest.

That’s right Edward Cullen, I’m coming for you.

“Really Eris? Making Twilight posts in 2024?” I hear you all asking me in unison and to that I have to say “Fuck yeah!”. I’ve been hyperfixating on Twilight lately, so this is the perfect time for me to reach a new all time low.

Besides, my hatred for fictional men is what brought you to this blog. I’m just giving you what you came here for, so stay tuned!

[lost-in-beacon-hills]

Okay, as someone who is reading Twilight for the first time, I gotta say Bella did Jacob so dirty. She knew she was flirting with Jacob the first time she met him. She TRIED to make him like her. After already being interested in Edward. She had no intention of doing anything with him. She wanted to know more about Edward and manipulated Jacob into telling her the stories.

In the movie, it was way less clear. She seemed to have already had an ongoing friendship with him. In the book, she was acquainted with his older sisters. And even then, she makes a point of saying they were all too shy to be actual friends.

I haven't gotten too far in the series, but just knowing this kid is fifteen changes my perspective. This kid was thrown into a war he didn't want for a girl who didn't want him.

[shadowqueenjude]

Honestly, the whole tortured soul character trope, like Rhysand, Azriel, Edward Cullen, is just sooo boring and icky to me. Like ohhh noo i willingly did all these shitty things but it was for the greater good but I don’t wanna corrupt you blah blah blah. Do fucked up shit man. Don’t act like a weirdo about it. Just be nice to to your wife. Like Lorcan. Or be a sunshine boy with sass, youth, and brains but with a lot of trauma to unpack. Like Lucien.

Don’t be stuck in that weird in between place.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Does Edward care that Bella has to poop sometimes as much as Bella seems to think he cares that she has to poop sometimes?

A Defense of Bella

In Bella's defense, I think everyone would care deeply if they find themselves in a relationship with a godly, supernatural being who doesn't have biological functions and hears every sound you ever make.

And there's you.

"I have to poo... Please, for the love of god, don't listen."

Knowing, of course, they're listening.

I think that this would honestly be a relationship breaker for most people.

"I'm sorry, BLANK, but I shit and you don't... I can't handle this."

And I salute hypothetical person for this.

Does Edward Care

We don't see specifically in Midnight Sun, at least not that I remember, but true to form I think Edward gets weird about it.

Edward is very fixated on the fact that Bella is human, the rushing of her blood, and perhaps even the sweet scent of her shit. Ah, Bella, you are a human, organic creature who is mortal and will live and die and every part of that is beautiful.

Even the uncomfortable realities are beautiful.

And Edward eats a single tear so it will be in his intestines forever.

I'll put it like this, if Edward was remotely mortified or feeling anything, he'd leave the house when Bella has to go about her business.

[threestargirls]

Within a split second, a deafening crack rippled throughout the forest as Jacob’s fist met Edward’s marble-like skin. I’m sure a scream escaped me as a strong arm pushed me off to the side- I couldn’t have been sure whether I made a noise, or even whose arm it was given my state of shock. Or fear? The stage directions from Romeo and Juliet kept repeating in my head. They fight; Paris falls.

All I managed to catch a glimpse of in the second that I was pushed back was Jacob’s furious face, his entire body practically convulsing, his knuckles bloody as he raised his fist again. I saw Edward’s face, his beautiful porcelain skin appearing cracked and his golden eyes dark with anger somehow even more intense than Jacob’s.

Edward’s arm raised to knock Jacob backwards, everything happening so quickly all I saw was the glimpse of russet brown fur and the shine of diamond skin disappearing out of the clearing and into the depths of the forest, as I was left by both Paris and Romeo, hyperventilating in my meadow with my hands shaking and twisted in my hair.

[as a birthday tribute to jacob black, here’s a snippet of him punching edward told through bella’s point of view. didn’t feel like writing a whole story so you get whatever this is.]

[byebuck]

any twilight mutuals who don’t like the cullens/cannot rationalize their behavior to the pack: i have a pondering for you to do

if you were able to rewrite twilight and step into smeyer’s shoes (cringe), how would you have handled the relations between the tribe/pack and the cullens? i think smeyer does a really bad job at displaying the cullens as “the good guys” and i think if we were to rework this, i would have the pack actively resisting the cullens (once they move back to forks) and Somehow taking back their rightful place. the cullens moving back to forks and still following the treaty is just a way for them to assert colonial dominance with the scapegoat of “well they have THEIR land (we are so nice to give it to them!) if they cross over to our lands, we can kill them” even though the land was the tribe’s in the first place, and the obvious worries about freaking vampires settling so close to them would be not only frightening to the tribe but also the humans in the la push and forks area.

i also think the problem with the cullens is that smeyer wrote them (and many of the other problematic behavior/actions/words) with no thought. you can tell she takes none of this emotionally and logistically seriously; this is all for bedward endgame and happiness. she writes with almost no regard or sensitivity or nuance for topics that deserve so much more than how she presents them to her (then) impressionable young teenage audience

this is really just a question for @threestargirls jshdjss someone please indulge me with their canon rewrite!!!

[dukeofdelirium]

“Twilight is about female voyeuristic self-love” no actually, Twilight is about the author’s Mormonism

It has an extremely glaring pro life plotline, it’s classist, it’s racist, it’s anti sex before marriage so much so that Edward doesn’t even open mouth kiss Bella the entire time they date, and the idea of marriage and having a baby at 18 years old is depicted as the ultimate reward and happily ever after for the female MC lol

[therealvinelle]

Edward thinking about Jacob getting Bella pregnant: 😔😮‍💨😕

Edward when Mike breaths in the same room as Bella: 😡🤬👹

Yes.