#i actually have motivation to work on this so lets go

[rot8erconex]

While most of your points are (unfortunately) valid, I want to go against #4 in particular as well as some of the things you said in your closer.

Yes, we have people working on models sourced entirely with legally-obtained data. Unfortunately, compared to the big LLMs that exist now, those models will be extremely small and non-competitive. I don't know the actual statistics, but I am imagining the scale is like an ant compared to a human. And any (good) legal protections put in place to curtail illegal data harvesting mean that the people running those models would have to constantly be able to prove their legitimacy - and as the model gets bigger and bigger, so, too, does what they have to prove. Eventually, the model will crumble in legal upkeep. If the people funding "AI" tech (It's not truly intelligence, hence my air-quotes. It's just the predictive text feature on your phone's keyboard writ infinitely large) had invested in legal data sourcing from the get-go, it might be fine. But because we live in a timeline where they took advantage of legal loopholes (what most of them did wasn't technically illegal, just took advantage of a crossover of two laws that were never really intended to intersect), we have behemoths of LLMs that are both legally dubious, and so massive that when they come crumbling down, they will take the entire concept down with them.

Of course, they were never going to settle for the legally-sourced models. Those build up slowly, and to those in charge, we need the money-making product now, not in fifty years, or even in five years.

And that gets to the part of your closer that I wanted to talk about. With "AI" as it is, we are not going to get to a post-labor world like you want. Replacing artists and writers and other creatives will instead create a post-art world. Because the people in charge just see that "the masses need art to stay motivated to produce us profit, but making art is expensive. Let's figure out how to make it cheaper so the masses can continue to make us money."

A post-labor world does indeed contain the things that you mention - robots helping those with disabilities, and that Japanese bread-sorting AI that's now being used to search for cancer cells. But in such a world, humans aren't just sitting on their asses doing nothing - a lot of people will be creating, not because they have to, but because they want to. Art should be the last job replaced in the process of creating such a world, but the people in charge are trying to make it the first, because their ideal world is nowhere near in line with yours.

'People are panicking about AI tools the same way they did when the calculator was invented, stop worrying' cannot stress enough the calculator did not forcibly pervade every aspect of our lives, has such a low error rate it's a statistical anomaly when it does happen, isn't built on mass plagiarism, and does not obliterate the fucking environment when you use it. Be so fucking serious right now

[ourhees]

OPERATION : DON’T FALL IN LOVE

𝒊𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗔𝗗 .. ❛ 𝗀𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗌𝗍 𝖾𝗇𝖾𝗆𝗒 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗂𝗆𝗉𝗈𝗋𝗍𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝖼𝖺𝗌𝖾

𝑜𝑓 · 𝖲𝖧𝖮𝖶𝓉𝖨𝖬𝖤 ⦂ detective! pjs x detective f! reader── && e2l + slow burn slight angst ❔ 𝖶𝖨𝖲𝖯 & 𝖪𝖨𝖲𝖲𝖤𝖲

◟( ˃̶͈◡ ˂̶͈ )◞ ╱ 𝑠𝑎𝑣 𝑠𝑎𝑦𝑠 : the other night i could not stop thinking about detective jay. ty to mil for motivating me to do this😽

the case was an absolute disaster, and jay was already getting frustrated. the chief’s 17 year old daughter, lilia had been missing for over seven hours at this point. you and jay sat together, trying to collect as much information about that night as you can.

“are you even paying attention?” jay snaps, slamming his palm onto the desk in between you two.

you didn’t bother flinching. “of course i am, genius. you’re the one obsessing over dead ends while im actually trying to piece things together.”

jay groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. he had no idea why the chief would even pair the two of you together to work on this case. sure, you were a great detective, but there were other things you weren’t good at, and that was handling the attitude of detective park jongseong.

“obsessing ? i’m trying to find leads here. not scribble on post it notes.” he shot back, pointing to the noodled sticky note.

you rolled your eyes, handing him a piece of paper. “look at this genius. lilia’s last known location. she was downtown at 11:45pm on the surveillance cameras.” you pointed on the map, leaning closer than you should have, your shoulder’s brushed together.

jay froze for a moment, before shaking his head. “right.. so what were you thinking?”

“that someone was waiting for her around the corner, where the camera’s stop rolling.”

“she wouldn’t run off with someone … would she?” jay tried to argue.

“maybe she would, but maybe she disagreed. they stalked her, and kidnapped her at the right moment. a moment where she’s vulnerable and her guard is down. like walking downtown past her curfew.”

you reviewed the printed out conversations you got from lilia’s phone, which was found at the scene in the chipped sidewalk. her chats with an older man suggested he wanted to meet while she was out at a party downtown with some friends, lilia still being a minor disagreed. the mysterious man continued to push her to meet with him, since he was in the neighborhood.

lilia disagreed once more. around 11:45pm, that was the last time lilia was caught on the cameras. maybe, just maybe if you examined the area one last time, and asked around, maybe you’d find a piece of evidence.

“so that’s what you think happened? she was out with her friends and this guy snatched her in an area that didn’t have cameras?” jay asked, one last time.

you nodded, referring back to the paper pieces of evidence. “fine” jay muttered. “let’s go back downtown and ask around.”

later that night, you and jay found yourselves downtown, the same area lilia was last seen. you asked the meat market owner, who claims he didn’t see much. you asked the ladies who owned the hair salon, they knew lilia since she was a baby. she hadn’t seen much, just the car that drove off.

the hair salon owner was able to give you a full description of the car that drove off. it was a black acura, silver details. you also managed to get the license plate number, that was all you needed.

you and jay headed back to the station, where you put the license plate number into your computer. jay sat closely to you, as he examined the suspect. it was a 35 year old man. this man had been arrested for robbing the jewelry store downtown, so downtown wasn’t an unfamiliar place for him.

“this bastard..” jay muttered, leaning in slightly closer. “can you locate the car? we need to locate the car.”

“slow your roll, speedy. i can locate the car.” you laughed, switching to a different screen.

you were able to locate the car, finding it sitting outside of an abandon warehouse. you and jay got into your car, loading your guns into the holster. you drove off to the abandon warehouse. it was quiet, awfully quiet. you and jay held your guns up, jay shouted “hello? anyone here.”

and that’s when you heard a scream. you and jay both ran into the direction the screen originated from. you kicked the door open, a sight horrifying to see. the young girl, the chiefs daughter, held at knife point. the older man gripping onto her with her life.

“drop the knife now!” you yell out, your gun steady in one hand.

suddenly the older man dropped the knife, his hands up to surrender. “jay, cuff him now.” jay does as he’s told, grabbing a pair of handcuffs from his back pocket and placing them on the old man. the victim runs close to you, hugging you tightly as you just saved her life.

“shh it’s okay..” you tried to calm down her cries, you rubbed her back gently. “it’s okay.. we’re here now, and we’re gonna return you to your dad. we just need you to answer a few questions and tell us the story. is that okay?”

lilia agreed, pulling back from the hug. jay managed to get the police over as soon as possible, they took away the old man in cuffs. jay pulled out his miniature note pad and began writing away every detail lilia dropped.

you were right, the older man reached out to lilia, trying to meet up. lilia continued to get messages throughout the night and she was afraid. so afraid, she decided to leave her crowd of friends and go back home. as she turned by the corner, she was grabbed and tossed into the car. if she wasn’t rescued in time, who knows what would’ve happened.

jay gasped, as he heard every inch of detail, being accurate to your prediction. after gathering lilia’s side of the story, you decided to take her back to her father at the office. the car ride back to the office was silent, nor you or jay spoke, all you heard was the silent sniffles of lilia.

as you returned back to the office, you got lilia back to her dad. the chief was extremely happy to see his daughter, still alive and very much untouched. you left them alone in the office, you and jay went back over to your desks.

“that was great.. you were great.” jay admitted, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

“did the detective park jongseong just compliment me?” you teased, placing the evidence into a folder.

“don’t get used to it.” jay smirked.

you stepped closer, your heart racing due to the events of tonight. “you’re insufferable, you know that right?”

“and yet.. you can’t seem to stay away.” jay shot back, his grin fading slightly as your proximity began to feel charged.

before either of you could second—guess it, you grabbed him by the collar of his white shirt, pulling him down to your level and crashing your lips onto his. the kiss was fiery, a combination of tension and frustration, that had been built up from earlier.

jay froze for a second before his hands found your waist, pulling you closer to him. his strong hands held into your waist, holding you with a grip. when you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless.

“that was…” he started to speak, his voice hoarse.

“shut up.” you interrupted, stepping back as reality sets back in. “that didn’t mean anything.”

jay laughed, running a hand through his hair. “sure, it didn’t. how about we go out for coffee one day?”

“sure.. genius.” you smile, wiping the smudge of red lipstick from the side of jay’s lips.

[baneonono]

There are a lot of people talking about Penelope’s pov in the last song. People will discuss how she is hyper intelligent, what is means that she’s Spartan, how patient she’s been, what her final test for Odysseus was and what it means that she gave it to him. And there was definitely consent discord of people noticing that Odysseus asked Penelope if she would love him. And while all of this is great, it’s all been kind of bothering me because of the treatment of Penelope. 

One thing we haven’t been discussing is how Penelope has changed. Look there are two things that I think necessarily had to happen when Odysseus went away. Firstly Odysseus needed someone to fight for, someone to get home to. And this person was Penelope, and while I’m sure his understanding of her was good, it became stagnant because he was away from her without any contact. He was working very hard on getting back to an image, a representation of Penelope. There was this version of Penelope, that may very well have been perfectly similar to Penelope twenty years ago, but nonetheless was still a freeze frame, that he put on a pedestal. He needed to do this so he could get home. He needed to imagine his perfect wife, frozen in time, waiting for him, so that he could get home. 

But I also can assure you that Penelope was not frozen in time. She was left with a very young son and an entire kingdom to rule, however she handled it, she is not the same person she was twenty years ago. She has changed. That is inevitable. She has become a different person just like Odysseus has become a different person. Maybe she didn’t become a monster(I like to believe she did for parallel reasons but she doesn’t have to have) but she is not the same person. 

Now in all reality, they both went through the same thing, Penelope changed and was motivated to keep waiting by a freeze frame of her husband. Odysseus changed and was motivated to keep going by a freeze frame of his wife. Both are true because they both were separated from each other. But the reason I emphasize Penelope’s change is because everyone mostly seems to be ignoring it. And I think the reason Penelope is mad at the final song is because Odysseus is ignoring it. He hasn’t seen her for her yet. He’s still thinking about this conception of her in his head from twenty years ago when he asks her “would you fall in love with me again”. He’s not seeing her. He’s going on and on about how he’s done so many awful things and he’s become this monster that she won’t even recognize and he’s ignoring the person actually in front of him for this picture of her on a pedestal. And Penelope has to stand there and watch her husband grovel at her feet, not understanding that she has been changed, not allowing that her feelings for him would’ve changed her just as much, not seeing that the separation impacted her just as much as it impacted him. And she’s angry. Because she’s been waiting, she’s been fighting every single day for her husband, she’s watched herself become a person that her twenty years ago wouldn’t even recognize for this man and he sits at her feet discrediting all of the work she’s done to be here when he got home. She’s raised their son on her own, she’s fought off suitors, she’s ruled a kingdom, and so much more for this man at her feet and he won’t even look at her. 

She’s angry and she needs to make him see her. And my girl Penelope, is such an icon, that she does three things at once in an attempt to make him see her. She makes him feel how she’s feeling, she reminds him of what they both worship, and she utilizes her change to do this so that he understands what he’s dealing with now. The olive tree task does all of those. Let’s start with the last one. I know that people like to think of this trial as something Penelope always would’ve done, she would’ve always been a little tricky and manipulative but I think this is something she picked up in her twenty years. I think she was always intelligent but I don’t think she would’ve hidden her intentions before. I think this makes sense in a few different ways. Firstly, Odysseus interprets it literally when she asks him to move the bed. Remember this is the Odysseus who has a frozen image of Penelope from the years before and he thinks that what she’s insinuating here is that she wants him to move the bed and destroy a symbol of their love, he takes it literally. So I think that before, Penelope would’ve been intelligent but not manipulative and I think that shows in Odysseus reaction. Where when he realizes what she’s done, he’s surprised, too stunned to speak(he’s also into it but that’s unimportant for now). I also think that Penelope would’ve had to become more manipulative given her situation. The suitors, her kingdom, all of them that have different goals than her, she would have to seem like she’s appeasing them while not appeasing them. All this to say, I think the olive tree trial is a thing she wouldn’t have done before, I interpret it as a result of the twenty years and not something Odysseus would recognize. Which brings me to the other two things she did with the task. She made Odysseus see her and understand what she’s feeling and she reminded him of what they both worship. It’s no mystery that Odysseus was angry at this attack to the foundation of their relationship, which is exactly what Penelope was feeling. Odysseus came into their room and treated her as stagnant, refused to see her, and this was an attack at the very foundation of their relationship, which is everlasting love. He insinuates that she won’t love him despite everything in his question and that is just like Penelope telling him to move the bed. And he responds with the same anger that she feels. And when he realizes this, she’s accomplished the goal of reframing his vision of her. He sees that she’s changed, he sees that she was angry, he sees that they both did everything for that love, he sees her. And, importantly, it’s only after he sees her that she answers his question. Once he understands what he’s come back, then she will answer the question. Because she’s glad he asked, and it’s definitely the right way to go, making sure you both still want this, but it’s a useless question if he doesn’t know who he’s asking it to. So after she makes him understand, then she answers. “I will fall in love with you over and over again, I don’t care how where or when, not matter how long it’s been you’re mine”. And that is my girl, that is a person who’s been changed by her experiences, but still is very much in love with her husband, that is a three dimensional person with emotions and nuance. 

And for the record, this is not to say that Odysseus was ever in the wrong here. Not at all, what Odysseus did makes complete sense. He was caught up in his journessey. He was looking at the situation through the eyes of I have become this monster and my wife has been waiting. He, very validly, was still lost at sea. And Penelope brought him home. And just one more little detail that I love is the usage of “new” and “old” king. Before he goes to see Penelope, everyone is referring to him as “old king”. When Penelope puts forth the challenge she says “will be the new king”. Which just makes me think that Odysseus went from being the old king to the new king in the course of wyfilwma. But he’s always Penelope’s husband because Penelope refers to the bow as “my husband’s old bow”. Which just gets to the idea that he’s changed but he’s always her husband. 

Anyway this is just the way I love this musical. Gonna over analyze it immensely

[thedissonantverses]

The Solas Problem:

A Lesson in Narrative Tension in DATV

This isn’t a Solas critical write-up, nor is it positive. It’s only an essay on how narrative tension works. We take Solas as he is here. Media Literacy 101 is back in session under the cut.

TL;DR: Giving Solas more screen time would have stripped Veilguard of one of its best parts. Solas.

“No real god need prove himself. Anyone who tries is mad or lying.”

We actually have two major problems with Solas right off the bat. The first is power. The power creep on this man is absurd. He’s been around for thousands of years and his magic has affected the fabric of reality in Thedas. He can kill people in their dreams. He can turn people to stone with his mind. The blight. Just…the blight. Altering the course of history is what he does best.

When we first meet him in Inquisition he is a considerable threat but not anything special for Thedas. In his reveal in Tresspasser he sent chills down my spine. In Veilguard he’s had years to accumulate enough power to tear down the Veil. If it had been a real fight with Solas in the beginning Rook would have been obliterated.

Even if Solas was an ally, it wouldn’t work. This is very similar to why Superman had kryptonite because he’s already overpowered without it. If Solas is around the whole game pulling Rook out of every fight, Veilguard would suck. It’d be so boring. There is no good way to deal with his raw power without trapping, severely injuring, or putting him to sleep or on a side quest the whole game. Put a pin in this, we’ll get back to it.

The second large writing problem with Solas is he is ruthless. This man clearly follows his own rules and he’s survived a long time against enemies many more times more powerful than the Veilguard. It’s why Rook and the team seem so “nice” in comparison. None of them would have stabbed their friends for the greater good. None of them could or ever would do what he and Mythal did to the Titans. Whatever his motivations are at any given moment are largely driven by his own sense of right or wrong. He does have one. It’s just not the same as us mortals’. Run afoul of his moral code and you’re dead.

I’m going to go on a bit of an aside but I promise it’s related. The first Alien movie is a good horror move, in part to a technique movies use to great effect. Tease your audience. The reason they don’t show the alien too much is because it would look fucking goofy. No matter how good your effects were back then, a human in a suit moves like a human in a suit. What that movie does really well in its horror is show glimpses of the man in the mask but not the whole thing at once. Let the audience’s minds fill in the gaps.

That’s what Veilguard is doing with Solas throughout the game. We know Solas is powerful. But the first time we see him it’s him failing. Then he’s trapped in time and space. We get echoes of what he can do. We don’t fully realize how powerful until you see him flinging blight back in Minrathous with the same amount of effort a regular character would use to shoot their bow. We get glimpses of his deeper motivations and foibles, but we don’t feel what’s it’s truly like to be in his way until Tearstone Island. We don’t learn about Varric until the wolf has already cornered us.

So why did they trap him?

Trapping Solas in a prison of his own design, where the key is regret, is excellent character work. We know Solas doesn’t see himself as the villain. We know he’s the type of man who thinks of himself as not just Elgar’nan’s equal, but his better. Which, maybe he is, but he is still a self-righteous man with rivers of blood on his hands who was ready to destroy the world Thedas has become in order to restore a past that can never be again. Solas is static. Unyielding. Frozen by regret. He won’t change to suit the world, he will change the world to suit him.

The examples used of how Solas could be dealt with work, but to varying degrees depending on how well they’re executed. Why matters as much as how. What the writers did was look at Solas’ prior character work and pick the best one to suit him. The way they executed this solves multiple problems at once, using the character’s own fatal flaw against him.

It’s a simple solution, really.

[poeticblissme]

I will be as honest as possible when I answer this because I truly know and understand your struggle, and I want to be as transparent with my thoughts and feelings on this to properly try my best to help you see a different perspective so bare with me it may be a bit wordy.

I have spent a good amount of my life wishing I could do things in the entertainment industry. I have memorized countless movies since I was 8, even before that really. My whole heart is into doing things like acting, it’s been a Dream of mine to be on movies and stages. However, it has been countless dead ends for me. I would fall off because I felt like it was never going anywhere, that and I am constantly stuck doing jobs and things I absolutely detest, knowing where my heart is at. But I also felt unworthy, I felt like there are others who are clearly better than me, that I had no real space to even try it because of everything else never worked out for me? Why would something I actually enjoy and want to do for the rest of my life work out.

Over the years, I feel into deep stages of sadness and bitterness because I saw others succeed, I have seen people who have done less receive more and I had a fear that if I try, it was just bound to fail. My family have talents, and the one I love I don’t even feel I’m fully good at because I’ve seen how others do so much better. I can’t do much, I don’t and can’t do what I see everyone else can. I looked at myself as ordinary and unimportant. So I stopped trying. I stopped looking. I wanted to give up entirely because feeling empty was better than facing this crippling mindset that made it hard to breathe.

However, around 2020, when the pandemic came around, I got more into spirituality. And through those months of me finding myself again, I started taken small intricate steps to try and change this mindset. It was so hard, the amount of self accountability I had to learn for what I love and what I let my mind control in terms of outward action was difficult, but I can tell you what I have learned and I hope this gives you a piece of hope or motivation to take these steps even with your fear.

As a human being, it is natural to be afraid to do something you feel in your heart is good for you. Be it a passion, a relationship, or anything that forces you to step out of your comfort zone to do something you never imaged for yourself before. You will not know what you are doing sometimes but that is apart of the journey, you don’t know what your doing until you have done it enough times that you finally do know what to do and integrate that into your life slowly but surely. The point is to put in the effort anyway because you have that feeling that it is something that will make you happy. Trying is the reassurance to your soul.

The feeling of being stuck is your survival and comfort mindset trying to keep you where you think you are safe. If this is something you feel you want to pursue, then you have to force yourself to propel yourself forward, you have to work with that fear, make mistakes, ask the questions, do the research, experience the experience of the unknown fully, otherwise you will live with the regret of what could have been.

I have done so much since I started this little journey of mine. I have done things I never imaged myself doing, and now I am in a place where I do still yearn for more, but I am also in a state of gratitude because I have gone so much father than I thought I would when I had stopped trying completely. I am not fully in the place I want to be, but the places I have been are motivation for me to keep trying because I know that it is indeed possible somehow someway. The things I didn’t know, now I do. The things I still don’t know scare me, but I am doing my best to open to the unknown and let it make me better and stronger so that when (Yes not if, when) the next pieces of my dream come to me, I will be even more ready than I was the day before.

All of this to say, Please. Please chase that dream of publishing your book. Even if you feel afraid, take your hand and slowly guide your feet toward the shore line. Dip your toes in slowly and learn how the water feels, step on a shell every now and again, take the pain and confusion and learn from it so when you step on it again it does not hurt as much, and then you will learn how to avoid the shell completely. Before you know it, you will have completely submerged yourself in the waters you were afraid to go into, and your life will fill that much more full because you took those steps you were once afraid to take. 🤍🖤

I’m gonna confess something here, gonna get real raw with it.

But I think, no I know, I am terrified of trying.

I so desperately want to publish a novel, multiple even. I have them in the bag. But I am so scared of moving forward even an inch.

I have been writing since I was ten, I have been doing these monster stories since 2017.

And I have gone nowhere.

I am so frightened of the next steps. I believe if I don’t know what I’m doing I can’t do anything.

I’ve been working this out in therapy but like…I do feel stuck. I’ve imbedded myself so much here and in comfort I don’t know what to do.

What do I do? How do I publish? Who do I ask?

Is it me? Do I have to do this now?

I wanted to say this, in hopes putting it out there I can pull myself out of the complacent pit I’ve made and move along. But yeah, I’m terrified and I really have no clue what to do. Everyone else who is publishing seems so far ahead and they know everything. But, maybe that’s also an excuse for myself I need to face.

[falling-star-cygnus]

i've been toying with this idea for a while now, but the weekly release of s3 has been giving me motivation to post more Link Click stuff!!!

so, Lu Guang's ability allows him to look into the 12 hours following the aftermath of a picture- right? sooo hypothetically, if someone knew about this ability- they could set a trap not a 'trap' trap, obviously, but like- they could hurt him with it yk? it'll make more sense in fic form

kinda hand-wavey when it comes to timeline placement, but let's just say it's before Lu gets stabbed :3

"So..."

"...yeah."

"How weird."

Three pairs of eyes stare at the little envelope left on the counter.

"Neither of you left it here? Cheng Xiaoshi?" Qiao Ling asks- rather accuses her brother, while Lu Guang reaches for the package.

"Wh-!? I was out with you all day! When would I have even- Guangguang's the one who's been here!"

The accused in question tunes out the bickering siblings to pry open the glue seal. This argument was nothing new, after all, not this lifetime and not this week. It was kind of comforting, like a white noise machine.

What was new, was this package.. that only held a single photo. And no return address, or name attached... It wasn't even a particularly remarkable photo, just- a room. An empty, rusted room.

"Don't accuse Lu Guang! He's much more responsible than you-"

"Well how else could it have gotten there!?"

The pale haired boy wracked his mind for any ounce of familiarity, but... nothing. He can't recall having ever seen this place, or any timeline where this thing was dropped off. It didn't make any sense.

"LU GUANG!" the siblings shout at him, each slamming their dominant hand onto the counter. The photo slips from his fingers as he jumps.

...maybe he tuned them out a bit too much.

Cheng Xiaoshi catches it to take a look for himself, appearing equally as puzzled.

"Sorry, Qiao Ling-ji," Lu Guang ducks his head, "I stepped out for a second to check the darkroom. I didn't see who left it."

And wasn't that disconcerting. Someone had managed to sneak in and out of the studio without ever alerting the ever vigilant time-traveler. It left a weird itch under his ribs.

Were they in danger again? So soon? They hadn't even met the twins yet... had this timeline changed too drastically to be saved?

Apparently, his discomfort showed on his face too- his spiraling sanity as red threads frayed around him- because the next thing he knew he had his roommate nudging his side and offering the photo back.

"Guangguang? We're not actually upset, you know.."

"Uh... right." he didn't think they were, but he'll take the escape. And distraction.

"Yeah! Mistakes happen," Qiao Ling chirps, reaching up to ruffle his hair, "No harm, no foul, Lu Guang. We'll check the tapes."

The time-traveler can't help the rosy blush that colors his cheeks under the siblings' onslaught of affection and attention. Affection and attention that he didn't deserve for lying to them for so long. But.. he was greedy. Greedy for their friendship and so, so terribly afraid of what he would become without it.

"Oh, so the landlady gets to touch your hair without permission but when I do it-" annnd then Cheng Xiaoshi was ruffling his hair too, saving him from his head again in a far more chaotic fashion than his sister [yet he was no less gentle], "you get all complain-y!"

"Idiot, you're still hung up on that? It was years ago-"

"Hardly!"

Qiao Ling giggles at their antics and takes her leave- presumably to go check the tapes like she said. The two watch her go from their peripherals.

And then get to work.

Lu Guang raises the photo, trying to ignore the fuzzy feeling that spreads in his chest when Cheng Xiaoshi adjusts to block him from the view of any onlookers. They didn't need words at this point.

He could feel his friend's eyes on the side of his face, as if drawn to the blue light for some inexplicable reason. It was fine, he could dissect that feeling later. Or never, preferably never.

Right now, he had to figure out why this picture appeared.

Nothing happened at first. The photo was taken of and empty room, and the man who took it sat in a chair just behind the camera. It almost seemed like a prank. One hour passed, then two, three... four.. six.. nine.

Lu Guang was prepared for his time- his limited, precious time- to be utterly wasted. For Cheng Xiaoshi to be laughing at him when he resurfaced, and for that tight ball of anxiety in his chest to loosen somewhat when-

"How long are you going to hide in the past?"

His heart drops to his stomach, the empty space it left behind squeezing like a vacuum.

"Do you truly think you can save them?"

The man stands up, still facing the same half of that empty room.

"Do you think you deserve to, Lu Guang?"

"How do you.."

In all these timelines, all these threads he ties and breaks and travels and resets, he's never- no one has ever- Whoever sent this knows about him and his powers. Knows about the timelines.

Lu Guang runs through potential names.

Qian Jin? The twins? Vein? Liu Xiao? Liu Min-

"Don't bother guessing. I doubt you'd get it, even with all the time in the world."

"...what?"

He couldn't tell if the man was responding to his thoughts or words or just- knew him and was covering each base.

"See, people like you are interesting. People who think they're above the rules are interesting.."

A pale, crooked hand runs over grimy bricks. The hour creeps past eleven.

"You were raised better than that."

Everything happens at once.

The man turns around, revealing a mirror barely a foot away. Lu Guang doesn't get a chance to make out more than burning amber eyes before the room goes up in light.

| + + + |

Cheng Xiaoshi's knuckles are white on the counter.

He doesn't want to mess up Lu Guang's focus, or accidentally hurt him by pulling him prematurely out of the photo but.. he looked so scared.

It wasn't an emotion he was used to- or liked- seeing on his friend at all. If Lu Guang was scared, then what- the dark haired boy shook his head. If Lu Guang was scared, then... Cheng Xiaoshi would just have to be strong enough for both of them.

He could do that- he could totally do that! After everything Lu Guang helped him with in the past, Cheng Xiaoshi would offer his own hand tenfold.

"How do you..." his friend muttered, voice weak and fragile and quiet.

"Guangguang?"

As far as he's known, Lu Guang had never talked when inside a photo before. After and before, sure, but... never during. He itched to reach out, to brush that soft white hair off his friend's suddenly clammy brow.

Lu Guang's slender fingers trembled.

"...what?"

....he shouldn't. He really shouldn't. But Lu Guang's never acted this way before! Not when he was awake. Maybe he wouldn't even notice-

No. No no no, he shouldn't risk it.

Cheng Xiaoshi would just- take him out for milk tea after this. Yeah.

A few more minutes pass, filled only by soft breaths and the tap-tap-tap-tap of Xiaoshi's finger on the counter. Lu wouldn't notice.

Would he?

No..

The photo falls from Lu Guang's hands at the same Cheng Xiaoshi lunges for him.

Barely, just barely does he manage to tuck his hand between the shelves and the soft white hair of his best friend- seconds before collision and so, so worth his undoubtedly bruised knuckles.

"Lu Guang? LU GUANG!"

The sound his friend looses is primal- hurts his chest in a way he didn't know possible- and his hands, slender and crooked in the knuckle, clutch at his face with such ferocity that his nails almost break skin. Cheng Xiaoshi guides him to the floor as gently as he can as the pale haired boy's knees give.

"It's okay," he whispers, looking around for something- anything- that could help, "It's okay.."

"I can't-" Lu Guang gasps, his chest heaving and his eyes still blue, "I can't see- I.. I can't-"

"Okay.. okay.. it's okay."

He feels like a broken record, but he doesn't know what else to say when Lu Guang is in so much obvious pain. God, could he even hear him? Who would- how-?

Cheng Xiaoshi bats his friend's hands away from his face and quickly covers his eyes for him, not wanting to add scratches to Lu's discomfort.

"Just breathe, Lu, I'm right here.. I'm right here." he says, tucking the pale haired boy against his chest until he was sure he could hear the thump of his heart, "Just focus on me, okay?"

That always seemed to calm Lu Guang down, at least.

"What did you see? Lu Guang, what did you see?"

"I don't- I don't know- there was.. there was a room.. and a man- and- and then light. He knew-"

He wish he hadn't asked. he hadn't heard Lu Guang this panicked and raw in a while. He was in pain. And Xiaoshi couldn't do anything about it.

"Okay.. it's okay," Cheng Xiaoshi digs around in his pocket, keeping his friend bracketed by his legs, "Lu Guang-"

Okay, okay, deep breaths. You can't help him if you're panicking too. Deep breaths. Don't tell you don't know what to do...

He tucks himself around his best friend, as if he could hold Lu Guang together with his body alone and rescue him from this awful, awful pain he was in. They never should've opened that envelope.

Eventually, Qiao Ling wanders back in, and she looks far more troubled than when she left. To be fair, so do her boys.

From there, it's a blur.

Lu Guang gets checked into a hospital, the sibling's lie to the police, Xiaoshi gets grilled by his sister on why they had to lie to the police, and everything spirals out of control.

Or, at least- that's what it feels like.

"Cheng Xiaoshi," Qiao Ling speaks up, from where the two are hovering anxiously outside of Lu's room. And wow, does this feel achingly familiar.. in a way he can't quite put his finger on..

She's biting on her thumbnail.

"The person who left that envelope on the counter... "

Cheng Xiaoshi looks at her, fist clenching in his pocket in preperation to swing at whoever dared-

"It looked like Lu Guang."

"...what?"

[itsmorpheusho]

tw: war,politics

hey yall. watch the matrix if you doubt shit. it's not real DUH, but my bro morpheus got some good advice. and don't listen to the red piller ignorant repubs. they don't know they're on the blue, they think they're woke, but they call us that and are just projecting how they're not. everything's a code. shifting is a formula and to do it, its pretty much belief + yourself = shift. rage against the machine be real asf- wake up. trippy shit, but seriously, some of these fictional dystopian realities, are actually damn near non fiction. not totally, because it's fiction, but it's not to far off. if it's hard? simplify it. nothing is hard. it's just your perception of it. apply murphy's law = if it can happen, it will. we all know for a fact shifting is real and you CAN do it, so therefore you will. if you reverse murphy's law, and think you can't, then damn straight- you can't shift. but if you believe you can? you will dumb ass. law means law. it might take your time to reprogram your mind with all of the bullshit limits SOCIETYAHUAHFU/j has put on you, but let's be so fr. we are so conditioned to be nihilist. i woke up from that. now im persuing being a fucking engineer as a WOMAN and im joining the military that's been a dream of mine. though there are war threats, i know, i'm not stopping myself from denying myself of my dreams and im going to make something out of myself here. i have finally come to terms with this shit cr. i just said fuck it and i raised my gpa hell, changed my major and i am getting out of my abusive household. they said i couldn't but i can. they made me think school was stupid. but i realized who i was, am- a pretentious smartass nerd who was just insecure about it, i didn't try. i dug myself into a hole because i wanted to be a cool art major, when i am a fucking logician. i was drowning but i got out. if i can realize that? i can shift bro. i can enter the void bro. im getting out before fuck ass trump becomes president so i can persue being a badass engineer nasa bitch in my home reality without the constant threat of war nagging at my back. because it's like we are in the fucking interstellar film, our world is going to shit. so? im leaving. so i can be financially free, have my Ph.D. already. i also made myself a Yale graduate there because I could have done it here, but I fucked up my grades because i listened to those who said i couldn't, because I'm a woman, it's too hard, and I didn't try. now i will never stop trying. the spiraling doom of donald j for joke trump and war with my job won't stop me either. my country is headed into shit and im not gonna see it, the worse it gets on the news the closer i get to waking up home. FUCK THAT, i have already entered the void and I am home. fuck the red pillers. they are the blue pillers. im not staying in a reality where they send me off to who knows where to fight for who knows who when I just want to be a pilot, work for nasa or something, make my grandpa proud that i finally joined the navy. in my reality my service is done, im loved and feel free. no more war. in 2025 lets gtfo. watch the matrix, blade runner, interstellar, whatever to motivate yourself. they all realized they had it in them all along. the red pillers? the dumb ass repubs? they're calling themselves that because they are quite simply projecting, because they know they are NOT that. they are the people turning my country to shit. idc if they call me woke. im leaving either way. im not giving up either. you either are or you aren't, you believe or you don't, sure its getting me a minute to wake up from my nihilist ass ways, my logical ass formula reliant ass brain: but if you are like me and you dread the future here- stop. your shifting tonight, which equals you wont be here. everything is math. so why do you care? stop worrying. murphys law. you can shift. you can enter the void. so you WILL. say goodbye, because you are already gone. think of shifting, understand it and turn it into a formula you can understand. make it easy for yourself. dumbass.

[soggy-fishsticks]

hey guyss

there's been a few things I've seen in fics regarding wutai that I've sort of just wanted to give my two cents on, since I've never really seen anyone mention this before. it's definitely a small minority of fics, but it's something I wanted to sort of talk about anyways

I feel like in certain fanfics, especially ones centering about/in Wutai, are wayyy too chill with how they write their Wutaian characters interacting and responding to Sephiroth and, by extension, Shinra.

I feel like it's important to understand what exactly is happening in the war in Wutai within the context of the story when you're writing about it, y'know? Shinra is canonically trying to colonize Wutai in the story for that sweet sweet mako, and we get glimpses of the conflict in-game. I don't think I should have to say this, but what Shinra is doing is bad!! Attempting to colonize and, when faced with resistance, destroy Wutai is bad!!!! And I feel like while yeah, people understand this, in certain fics they neglect to actually write that dynamic in, and sometimes it gets to a point where it feels really odd.

An example of what I'm kinda talking about is this: Recently I read a fic centered around Sephiroth and Wutai, where Sephiroth was heavily injured there and (for plot reasons) recieved help from Godo, the Emperor, and other Wutaians. When they saw Sephiroth injured, one of the Wutaian soldiers went "but sir!!!!! this is our enemy sephiroth!!! the silver demon!!!!" and Godo's response was just,, "I know.... but I can tell, deep down, that he's a good man.... Now let's go help him." huh??

The sort of,, I guess gripe I have with this sort of interaction is that Godo could've easily been written to have deeper ulterior motives in saving Sephiroth's life. And I feel like a situation like that could've worked really well!!! But why are we writing Godo, the Emperor of the nation Sephiroth is (willingly or not) helping take over to be so.... nonchalant with the man who is helping cause so much suffering in his nation both in his eyes and like,, objectively??

I've seen Godo and other characters be written that way so many times 😭😭😭 And I feel like that last part on its own is also something I wanna mention- It's so oftenly glossed over in these kinds of fics that Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth were all (obviously) helping Shinra in the Wutai War!!!!! Of course, none of them were offered any other alternative choices, but in the eyes of the Wutaians, they would reasonably be incredibly upset!! I feel like acknowledging that not only makes more sense writing-wise, but adds so much more dimension and tragedy to their characters.

This isn't to police peoples writing, ultimately I'm just a little bug yelling into the aether- but it feels odd when they're written like that. But idk maybe I'm just sounding like a good ol' blue haired liberal snowflake or whatever 😭😭

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

Crawling out of my cave for one more round.......

Eh, for that I'd have to subscribe to the idea that they didn't work at all in the outer rim as hard canon, which I don't. See I'm far too fond of Quinlan Vos. A character that has grown across multiple continuities from a random tall dark and handsome guy in the background on Tatooine in the phantom menace to beloved star of my heart. What exactly was he doing on Tatooine? Who knows, he is mysterious as the dark side of the moon. He works in the shadows. Why did he not interact with Qui Gon in TPM? Aside from the fact that he wasn't really a character then… maybe he was in deep cover. Maybe he had whole networks of lives on the line. Maybe he was helping an underground railroad. Maybe he was rescuing toddlers from the jaws of death while I Need A Hero played in the soundtrack

(it's not like there being no activity in the outer rim is an unfair extrapolation from just the film, mind, it's not just not a given. "the republic doesn't exist out here"- Shmi. "i didn't come here to free slaves"- Qui Gon. But Shmi did say the republic and can hardly be omniscient, and Qui Gon was talking about himself, as a guy on an entirely different mission with a ship full of political refugees being actively hunted down who ended up stranded entirely by accident on random planet number however many thousand that he nevertheless knew enough about to be the giver of exposition to the literal ruler of a neighboring planet and now that I think about it, that's sort of funny. The film is pretty clear on the jedi not being able to maintain justice across the entire galaxy, for sure, but it also doesn't argue that they don't do anything at all, and there's a pretty big difference between doing nothing and doing a bit, in my book.)

Anyway, on Mandalore. Is there an implication that Mandalore at that time wasn't worthy of aid? Obi Wan is sometimes loose with the truth, but even if he was exaggerating when he said that most of Satine's people were killed in the civil war, that's still a major level of brutality and civilian death. If more than half a world's population is getting killed, that's a huge crisis and tragedy. Is that alone not enough of a motive?

And then let's consider Deathwatch, the major faction that was active at that time. We get to know deathwatch in tcw. We see how they operate- they conquer a settlement, steal all their resources, kidnap all the young girls as hostages and force them to serve them. It's dark as shit. And they are explicitly imperial revivalists. I'm going to make a silly comparison, but imagine if like. Britain was in a civil war, and there was an army of far right extremists who were gaining ground in a reign of terror under a banner of rebuilding the british empire, with like maps of imperial britain on their flags and plans to take back the colonies etc etc. Would it be politically motivated to protect the leaders of the opposition to that when they were in exile with assassins after them? Sure. But like. Maybe the rest of the world doesn't want to have to deal with an attempt at british empire number 2.0, if they won their internal war. And I would say that's fair enough, actually. So maybe the "potential resource" they would gain is not having an army of mandalorians trying to invade planets and enslave people in 10 years time.

Intervention is a tricky thing though. We're all familiar with the damage missionaries can do, and with how 'soft power' is often exploitative. If this were a history book, the basic assumption would be that there's very little altruism in politics. But this is a story. The thing about Satine and Obi Wan is that we get a strong sense, from the very first arc about them, that Satine is not a client queen/puppet/corrupt and Obi Wan is not there to manipulate her on the chancellors behalf. This is, in fact, the plot of those three episodes. Satine is fiercely protective of Mandalorian independence, does trust the jedi as long as they're acting as an independent body, and Obi Wan actively helps her thwart not only deathwatch, but also Chancellor Palpatine's scheme to get Mandalore under his control. He explicitly does not subvert Mandalore on behalf of those controlling the republic.

And now I'm going to invite you to imagine Quinlan again. Standing on a sand dune, a breeze ruffling his hood, gazing out into the soft light of dawn, with a face that could have been chiseled by the gods,

Okay so I’m thinking about how Satine’s initial reaction to Obi Wan’s visit is really hostile until he explains he’s there on behalf of the jedi council, not the republic, causing her to immediately relax. How that whole arc is about her resisting republic attempts to encroach on Mandalore and the neutral system’s sovereignty and independence, and how she is so consistently insistent on that. And I’m thinking about Obi Wan’s description of his year on Mandalore during their civil war- how they were ‘living hand to mouth,’ aka they had little to no funding or resources for the mission, and also just the simple fact that… as far as I know Mandalore isn’t in the republic so how they operate there is fundamentally different to how they would operate on a republic planet?

So anyway I’m now convinced that that mission was not affiliated with or funded by the republic. This was a jedi operate independently sometimes sort of situation.

[petorahs]

I love your avenday posts!! Thank you so much for keeping us fed with your amazing art and hcs. What are your thoughts on canon Avenday? (Ps:- No one can convince me that aventurine wasn't enchanted by Sunday at first sight like literally "most beautiful man of Penacony" ok down bad much *delusional*)

oh hell yea anon anytime! AvenDay unexpectedly the hoyo ship of all time for me and make me sooo inspired, i'm not stopping anytime soon! B)

hm, not entirely sure what you mean by canon Avenday! :0 i try to stay canon compliant in all my hcs, characterizations and such actually. even in aHWS it was all a dream that Sunday thought Aven wanted. i guess i do make them fluffier in some settings with the assumption that they somehow got together, but thats just how shipping is :3

BUT if you mean present-avenday, then..... oh i do have Thoughts.

They both love this game, this waltz - the thrill of having a rival.

I think one of my favorite revelations in 2.7 was the fact that Sunday was in fact bluffing when he said he'd "kill" Aventurine. it was always pretty obvious since 2.1, and even more so in 2.2 (when we learnt of Sunday's true motive of creating a Sweet Dream paradise, and when Dan Heng said the Eternal Centurion assimilates people into the Harmony, the fact it's only used on the Antimatter Legion even if violent).

so by removing these stakes the playing field becomes.. a chess board. they're always trying to outsmart eachother. this never changes, even in Aventurine's team join voiceline for him it's like they're witnessing eachother's turns, which piece they're moving next, what the next plan is.

i think it's exhilarating for them, and for us as the viewers.

2. "Do you love your family more than yourself?" (TL: are you like me?)

a constant theme in avenday is how theyre birds of a feather. like think about it, they could have just switched Aventurine's mom in his flashback scenes and the message would still get across, but instead they gave him a sister. just like Sunday and his sister's relationship is a big focus. why is that, if not to further cement their parallels?

and why is it that Aventurine of all characters was mentioned in Sunday's character arc climax? in Penacony everyone is a foil to everyone (Acheron-Aventurine, Aventurine-Firefly, Sunday-Robin, Sunday-Mikhail, etc) but of all of them... it's Aventurine that was chosen to show Sunday's growth.

and it's also Sunday in 2.1 who kickstarted Aventurine's introspection on how long he's been surviving, how quick it is to let go (and just stay in the Eternal dream) (of course Aven rejects this, by embracing "Death" and by doing so his Life). they had an undeniable impact on eachother.

3. The future and its possibilities as vast as the cosmos

I think they should meet again, will meet again, and it will be glorious. Sunday still has beef with the IPC (someone's going to collect his 'debt'...) and Aventurine's still not done with Oswaldo stuff, nor is he a visitor in the Express. i'd say the chances are pretty high. and even if not........ I literally am swimming in the crumbs the game has given us with these two. they're so underrated man like the more you think about it the more they work so well together. i never want them to separate <3 I'll keep shipping these two until they reach a conclusion in their ongoing respective character arcs <3

[bloopitynoot]

Reading TGCF: Chapter Seven

For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.

Yall I am having a no-good-very-bad day. Charlie's bloodwork turned out to be a lot more serious than we thought. Tomorrow I check in with a liver specialist for him- hopefully we can get an appointment, see them soon, and start treating our old man.

For warmth and comfort- masala chai with milk and sugar.

let's get into chapter seven:

San Lan took one look at that curtain and said, nope, I'm going to make a door. p202

OOP. "If you're going to draw a seal, at least draw it on a proper door. Works better." p202

Okay mysterious tattoos on San Lang. I hope we get more information about those. p203

I love how this entire village just thinks that xie lian can solve all of their problems. pp204-205

Fair. I mean the guy must have been through many places before getting here. I would have been suspicious even before him not being thirsty after a desert excursion. pp206-207

JEEZE. San Lang just spears him with a chopstick. How brutal. p208 Also skin bag- I hate this concept XD

Poor guy, Xie Lian is over here just bring down the heavenly vibe again in the array. I mean it's really not his fault. He needs info and there just happens to be a party happening. p211

These heavenly officials are bullshit though. It feels like none of them actually do real work. Good for Xie Lian for taking on Banyue Pass! p212

Hell yeah! Fu Yao and Nan Feng! p213

These two babies are so cute trying to protect xie lian from san lang. pp214-215

Fu Yao and Nan Feng have no right to judge Xie Lian for his lifestyle and DIY temple. They've been traveling with him and absolutely know how much of a mess he is. How is this homemade temple even surprising to them? p217

LOL Fu Yao about San Lang: don't you think he has ulterior motives? Xie Lian: Sure, but like I have literally nothing of value. p217

I'm loving the banter between Fu Yao & Nan Feng vs. San Lang. so so good. pp220-221

This feels like a lore drop chapter

I am not mad about this at all. I can't wait for the investigation squad to visit Banyue Pass and see what the heck is going on there. Seems nefarious since someone literally came to lure them there, BUT I still can't wait. I also want so much more banter between the babies (Fu Yao + Nan Feng) and San Lang.

[manyunhappygreenies]

Be prepared to see what you'd rather not be.

she/her for Leo

Next.

[mwagneto]

the main problem other than my country (NOT AMERICA🇭🇺) being a corrupt fascist shithole is that if i stay in the same place doing the same thing for too long i start going insane like just the idea of having to do another year of uni makes me want to gnaw at the bars of my cage that doesn't exist. slow tigers chasing me etc. but like 1) i need a degree 2) i need to get out of the country asap 3) having a degree would help me to/when i get out 4) i cannot bear the thought of buckling down and doing my work til mid 2026 like oh my.god. taking a gap year is definitely helping i literally only spent like 2 weeks of this semester in my house but like i need my entire life to be like that not just a few months of it. maybe i should work as a steward on a plane or smtg i dont KNOWW

[kalofi]

zl fic idea

hii everyone i wrote something yesterday about an au idea i had for zolu and. i thought i'd share it here since its a bit too messy and disjointed in places to post on like. ao3 or something.

4.7k words, warning for temporary major character death but do not worry all will be fixed in due time. i'll put the rest under the cut

ok i have an idea for an au thats like kind of reincarnation but like reality displacement but like. okay just listen.

so we start at laughtale. its a couple years into the future from where we are in canon the strawhats are achieving their dreams luffy is about to find the one piece theres a big battle happening between them and the blackbeard pirates and whoever the fuck else is there idc. the rest of the strawhats are fighting the bb crew while luffy and zoro head off to find the one piece and also end up fighting black beard himself. luffy and zoro atp r like basically a thing but they never talk about it cuz theyre luffy and zoro and they kind of just exist with each other but like. theyre basically in love and everyone knows it. anyway they go off together luffy has the one piece almost in his grasp blackbeard attacks they fight its a big battle blood is shed bones are broken uumm in my mind luffy and zoro are like teaming up against bb bc his devil fruit is lowk broken and op and like ok theres gear5 too but i didnt rly consider that so lets just assume bb’s devil fruit can negate gear5 somehow or luffy exhausts it before bb is fully defeated. 

finally theyre able to knock bb down and hes out and theyre both tired and worn but they DID IT and the one piece is luffys and theyre facing each other grinning ear to ear and zoros saying “you ready, king of the pirates?” and luffy laughs and goes “not just yet zoro, i still gotta-“ and then theres a spear piercing right through his chest. and in the next moment its gone. 

theres a gaping hole through his captain and theres blood, theres so much blood and luffy’s still smiling like he hasnt realized it yet, like it hasnt even registered. zoros ears are ringing and he doesnt know what to make of whats hes seeing because its just not real, it CANT be. 

he looks over luffy’s shoulder and blackbeard is on the ground with his hand outstretched , black energy coiling back into his form and he’s laughing and laughing with bloodstained teeth. hes fucking laughing. one moment zoro is still standing parallel to luffy and the next hes in front of blackbeard and the mans head is rolling through the dirt and gravel, wado dripping crimson, a terrible gap toothed grin still stretching the man’s cheeks. 

zoro is breathing heavy, hes trembling and hes almost mesmerized by the blood pooling around a lacerated neck— then he’s remembering luffy and turning around and calling his name and he can see right through him theres a HOLE right through him and he chokes and stumbles and rushes to his side right as luffy starts to crumple to the floor . catches him and lowers him gently and doesnt know what to say. 

hes still shaking but cant move his mouth and everything is muffled, the sounds from the battle outside are distant and they dont matter but what does he do. what does he do. 

he snaps out of it when luffy gently calls his name. a strong “zoro,” like hes not fazed at all. like there isnt blood soaking into zoros clothes. 

his brain kickstarts and he’s speaking. saying things like “youre ok you’ll be ok” and “choppers right outside i’ll just call him and he’ll fix you right up” and “you always bounce back, right captain?” and hes thinking “dont die please dont fucking die. not now, not when we’re this close please dont fucking die” and hes silently praying to all the gods he doesnt believe in but luffy calls his name again and his mouth clicks shut. luffys saying it’ll be fine, that he had fun. that hes proud to have made it this far with all of them. and those sound a lot like parting words so zoro’s shaking his head no but luffy is still smiling. hes saying that hes glad he had zoro, that he made him happy. hes saying to tell everyone he’s glad they met, that hes glad they all had each other, that he knows theyll be just fine . 

zoro wants to say that luffy should tell that to them himself, when hes wrapped up and recovering and alive but his mouth is glued shut again and he feels that interrupting luffy now would be cursing him to death, like his words are the only thing keeping him tethered here, he just needs to get him to keep talking to stay awake. 

he tries to smile but it comes out ugly and wrong and he feels his lip wobble so he drops it. he settles on rubbing his thumb on luffys shoulder. something to keep him here. 

so he rubs and luffy talks little things until he cant anymore. until his eyes grow dull and his skin loses its warmth and still zoro rubs and he rubs.

—

thats how law finds them. zoro hunched over a body that should never be as still as it is. and its really no surprise hes there, hes been gunning for the one piece since the time he could captain a ship (or a submarine) but it all feels so wrong. 

zoro either doesnt notice him or doesnt care, but either way the man doesnt acknowledge law until he’s right behind him. its not like law can say anything to announce himself either, not after seeing the state of the body that zoros currently holding. the body that used to be luffy’s. hes still processing it all when the other man(the one whos alive) finally speaks. 

zoro asks if hes got a devil fruit. less of a question and more of a statement, but he should know anyway since theyve spent considerable time together and hes literally seen him use it. law cant unstick his jaw so he hums in affirmation. “and you can switch stuffs’ places?” another hum. “what about time.” 

that makes law pause. “what?” his voice comes out stronger than he feels. 

“what about time? can you switch things in time?” by this point law has awakened his devil fruit or some shit dont sweat the logistics but hes never tried anything of that sort so he kind of stumbles “im not- maybe? ive never attempted-“ zoro interrupts “send me back” 

“what?” 

“send me back so i can fix this. you can do that, right.” it clicks. law would pity zoro if he didnt know any better, instead he just feels mounting despair and resignation. 

he may not be crew, but he knew luffy too, he was allied with the man for fucks sake, and this just feels- wrong. he sighs, a tired, heavy thing. 

“what about your crew?” its useless. zoros as stubborn as his captain, with arguably a handful more screws loose. “it wont matter. they’ll never know because i’ll make sure this doesnt happen.” he still hasnt turned around. law doesnt know what expression hes making and hes sure he never wants to find out. 

hes ready to deny it, cut his losses and head for the one piece himself (hes not heartless, but if he stands here any longer and has to look at. well. he think he might never be able to move again) but then he really thinks about it. could he? would it even be possible? surely this isnt the way things were supposed to go, surely this isnt right. luffys never been one who was supposed to die just like that, like this, law knows that much. he thinks hes going to regret this, but he counts it as one last thank you for everything luffy did for him. 

youre gonna owe me big time strawhat-ya. if i even remember this, that is. 

he puffs a breath “i can try. i cant- promise anything but. i think we both know this,” he makes a vague, weak gesture, “isnt right.” 

zoro doesnt say anything, law didnt expect him to. he just bows his head slightly and law takes that as the acknowledgment it is. 

he brings his hand up, “dont do anything stupid, zoro-ya. or, at least, make it stupid enough to bring him back.” 

he positions his fingers in way so familiar, but the weight of it now is nearly unbearable.

room.

shambles

—

zoro’s world shatters, differently than before, and then theres nothing.

—

he wakes up in bed, bleary eyed and a pounding headache assaulting his senses. his alarm clock is going off which only adds to the drumbeat against his eyes. he grumbles and whacks around aimlessly to shut it off. the silence lasts a moment before his eyes fly open and he jolts up, sheets pooling around his waist. luffy. where was he? where was zoro? did the crew find him and take him back to the ship? did law fail? but this didnt look like chopper’s office.

he looks around to find hes in a room hes never seen before in his life, yet he instinctively knows is his. it all feels so wrong, like he doesnt belong in his own skin. he scratches lightly at his arm. he needs to go to work. 

work?

what the fuck is happening. 

its like his mind is at war with itself, one truth trying to dominate over the other. he trained at sensei’s dojo. he aged out of foster care. he was a swordsman, he was the first mate of the strawhat pirates. he didnt go to college, hes working construction. he made a promise, and kuina died. kuina…died. huh. his captain, his luffy, someone he knew so intimately and who knew him in turn. hes never met someone with that name his entire life. he needs to go to work, he needs to find his crew. 

he doesn’t understand what the fuck is happening. 

without his permission his legs stand him right up and he moves confusedly, surely, to the bathroom he didnt know he had. his reflection stares back at him in the mirror and its him, of course it is, he doesnt know why he expected someone else, but hes also…different. he has both function of his eyes, first of all. a scar in the same place as before but its light and healed over and doesnt seem to have blinded him like it once did. his hair is green, sure, but black roots peek out from underneath the familiar shade. hes grown stubble, he should shave. he needs to go to work. 

hes so confused, but his body moves like its been doing this its whole life. as far as zoro knows, it has. 

he continues getting ready, mind still at odds, and makes himself a cup of coffee (in his own kitchen. his own kitchen? the state of it leaves less to be desired. sanji would surely skin him alive) before tucking into his shoes, grabbing his wallet and keys and heading out the door. he seems to live in a single room apartment, and a crummy one at that. his legs move him faster, he has to go to work, he cant be late again (again?).

his car is parked outside the building, he has no fucking clue what it is but he unlocks it all the same and settles in. he feels like he shouldnt be operating this sort of machinery. franky would know better than him how it must work. he starts it up and backs out. trusting his gut to get him where he needs to be. he should be more concerned, he should be frantic and inconsolable, his captain was dead in his arms and now hes? what? going to lay some bricks or some shit? but he finds that part of him dulled in favor of following whatever mundanity this body is pushing him towards. 

uumm whatever whatever he arrives at work eventually i dont know how construction jobs work are there offices or something. idc thats not the point. johnny and yosaku are there and zoro is surprised to see them since, as far as he knows, the last time they were with each other was at arlong park which was years ago for him. but the two greet him like this is a daily occurence, like theyve been working together for years. and zoro thinks, knows, they must have. but this is good, this is great fucking news actually because until now theres been no confirmation if zoro was here alone (wherever “here” is) but now his proof is right in front of him because if johnny and yosaku are here, and they exist the same as from before, then that must mean everyone else is here too right? he clings onto this hope with both hands trembling. 

nami, usopp, the cook and chopper and robin and franky, brook, jinbe and fuck. fuck, luffy. theyve got to be here somewhere, zoro just has to find them. hes not sure if they remember things like he does but hes got to try because they are his as much as he has always been theirs and they should all exist together as it has always been. 

so then yeah he finishes his shift because its what hes ‘supposed’ to do but he doesnt go home. he drives around aimlessly before pulling into a random lot and pulling out his phone (theres no snail attached to it. weird.) he doesnt even know where to begin. hes not usually the one coming up with plans, he just goes where theres blood need to be shed. but no one seems to be in any danger here except for maybe himself, and its not like he has his swords anyway- shit. fuck did he still have wado? he must have right? he knows there was a kuina that existed here too, he knows because he remembers. and she, well she wasnt around anymore so he must have wado. he must. with shaking fingers he pushes that aside for now, though barely. he needs to find luffy, but he wouldnt even know where to start. luffy could probably find the rest of their crew by simply wandering around and happening upon them, thats how he did it before. but zoro has no idea where he’d be, he doesnt even know where he is. nami or robin would be a good bet to at least form a plan, but he wouldnt know how to find them either. 

is there even a coco village here? would robin still be part of baroque works? he needs someone who has a defined location that he could google or something (what the hell is google?). usopp would be at syrup village right? shit. is there even a drum island? these are all too broad, he needs something specific. specific…..a place with an identifiable name, somewhere smaller that would be easier to stake out…

a lightbulb goes off. 

fucking shit he thinks. of course. of fucking course it would come down to the cook. 

he types in “baratie” to his maps and a location pops up, just 27 minutes from where he is now. he hasnt eaten yet either, so he figures thats killing two birds with one stone. he taps the address, backs out of the lot and drives. 

(if it takes him nearly an hour to get there thats nobodys business but his own)

he pulls up to the building about a quarter after 7. it seems packed enough already, but if memory serves him right then that was just par for the course for baratie. he parks, gets out and locks his car, then shoves his hands in his pocket and resigns himself to another oncoming migraine hes sure to get upon interacting with the man hes certain is waiting somewhere inside. 

the tables are full, the host tells him, he slips a 20 from his wallet and suddenly (of course) theyre more than willing to serve him. 

he gets settled in a far and somewhat isolated booth and a waiter comes up to him, but he cuts the man off as hes introducing himself and says “you got a blonde working here? stupid ass side part with a weird eyebrow? goes by sanji” the waiter looks shocked and put off by his rudeness but quickly collects himself and says “we might. depends on whos asking” zoro snorts “just tell him hes got someone who wants to talk to him,” he cringes at this next part, tries to smile but knows it comes off as a sneer. hes not sure if he still has conquerors haki wherever he happens to be now, but he tries to channel that energy the same way he would if he were in battle and says “tell him im a fan.” the waiters eyes widen, in fear or surprise zoros not sure (most likely a mix of both) before he nods and scurries across the floor, weaving in between patrons and coworkers alike until he disappears behind the double doors to the kitchen. 

zoro sits with his arms crossed and skims through the menu out of boredom and impatience. its a couple minutes before he sees a familiar head of blonde hair emerge from across the way. a smile climbs onto his face despite himself. sure, the guy annoyed him to hell and back and their…friendship (if you could really call it that) was a tumultuous one, but it was good to see someone familiar nonetheless. he schools his expression before the blonde can spot him. a few moments pass before hes standing right in front of zoro, his stupid suit primped and pressed as always, and a cautious look on his face. 

“you asked for me?” his tone is the one he only reserves for men who he deems not worth his time. zoro grits his teeth but says “yeah, theres something ive gotta discuss with you.” 

hes never been one for tact, forever blunt unlike his swords. 

sanji quirks a brow “i dont plan on talking about anything with anyone unless theyre a paying customer” zoro feels his eyebrow twitch but grabs his menu nonetheless and points to a random item without looking “i’ll have this then, and whatever booze you got.” sanji leans in to see what hes pointing to before his one visible eye widens and a grin slowly overtakes his previously unaffected face. 

he speaks condescendingly. “wonderful choice sir, coming right up.” before zoro can get another word in he grabs the menu out of his hand, spins on his heel, and marches back to the kitchen. 

zoro clenches his fists and does his best not to grind his teeth into a fine dust. no matter where they are or what displacement in time the fucking curly brow never fails to be absolutely insufferable. at least this way though, zoro knows its him for real. 

its another 20 minutes before the shit cook reemerges from the back with a platter and a mug in his hand. he steps up to zoros table and places the plate and cup down in front of him with a smug look. zoro has no idea what the fuck hes looking at on his plate. he doesnt have time to question it before sanji plops down in the booth seat across from him, disregarding all previous faux-professionale and asking “so what do you want” zoro tears his eyes away from his plate and looks into sanji’s, trying to convey as much emotion, as much urgency as he possibly can. 

“luffy needs us. and we have to find him” whatever the cook was expecting him to say, it definitely wasnt that. the other man regards him more warily now, looking him up and down with a tense frown before replying “i dont know what the hell youre talking about. and i dont appreciate being mocked or having my time wasted” he goes to stand up but zoro grabs his wrist, yanking him back down unceremoniously. 

he blinks before rounding back on zoro, flaring his nostrils in a way zoro knows means hes about to get himself in deep shit “oi, what the fuck do you think youre-“ he doesnt let him finish “im not mocking you. this isnt some stupid prank or whatever youre thinking. and despite how much i would enjoy punching your teeth in right now im not looking for a fight either.” 

the cook still looks affronted but seems to actually be listening. zoro continues “look, i dont know what the fuck is going on. i was at laughtale with you and the others, with luffy, and then i woke up and now im here and i dont know how but this is all wrong. its all wrong but i need to find luffy and fuck, i cant do it alone. i need your help to find him. find everyone.” the blondes eye is wide, but he blinks and its gone. he looks more tired than zoro has ever seen him 

“im not paid enough for this shit. i dont know why i even-“ he looks like hes getting ready to leave again but zoro is desperate at this point so he blurts out whatever he thinks will convince the other man hes not bullshitting.

“we met you here, at the baratie. me and nami and usopp and luffy. luffy busted through one of your walls so your old man punished him by making him wash dishes. i dont, i dont know what luffy said to you, or how he convinced you to join us, but he changed your life like he did mine. we sailed together, and we had each others backs no matter how much we got on each others nerves. you were our cook. i was our swordsman. luffy was our captain and youd do anything to help him, i know you would, same as me. youre a pervert and an asshole and a damn annoyance, but youre strong. i could still kick your ass though” if the cook’s eyebrow could go any higher hes sure itd be clear off his forehead by now. 

“and you- your dream. you wanted to find the all blue.” he stalls there, engine sputtering. zoro doesnt know what else to say, so he snaps his mouth shut. 

the blonde is still gaping at him like a fish, but he mouths the phrase “all blue” like hes been searching for it his whole life, like he always knew but just never had the words. 

he blinks. 

then he blinks again, rapidly. there are tears pooling in his eyes. his mouth flaps for a moment before he seems to finally be able to push out words. 

“you- zoro?” he sounds small. he sounds hopeful. zoro grins. 

“yeah, yeah its me.” sanji stares at him a moment, then looks around, as if hes seeing everything with clear eyes for the very first time. zoro figures he might as well be. 

“holy shit. holy shit.” 

zoro laughs, a rough thing. theres a ball in his throat that he cant seem to dislodge. “nice to have you back, curly brow” sanji’s gaze snaps back to him before he scowls and tries wiping away the tears that are now streaking down his cheeks. its useless though, it seems they cant stop. zoro laughs again at the sorry state of the asshole in front of him, this time more full and genuine. he feels so relieved he doesnt know what to do with himself. 

“yeah yeah, whatever dick head.” sanji grumbles. zoro quiets down, glances away, lets him have his moment. “fuck, mosshead, im still on the clock and you unload all this on me? how the hell am i supposed to finish the rest of my shift?” his words are sharp but he doesnt sound angry at all. in fact, when zoro turns back to look, hes smiling. 

“you remember now though, dont you?” he has to be sure. 

“what does it look like, dumbass? think im tearin’ up cuz of pollen or some shit?” the cook rolls his eye. theyre both silent for a moment, trapped in their own heads, before he speaks up again. “so, what now?” zoro doesnt even have to think before he answers “we find everyone else, obviously.” “well no shit, but how?” zoro glances to the side. “i was hoping youd figure that out” sanji stares before bursting out laughing. zoro scowls and hunches into his shoulders. 

“of course!” sanji cackles “of course your dumbass wouldnt know what to do! you probably just typed in the most recognizable place you could remember and hoped one of us would be there!” zoro doesn’t answer, because yes thats what he fucking did, but it worked didnt it? he doesnt see whats so funny. 

“fuck you.” 

he wants nothing more than to bash that smarmy mouth in, but the familiar egging settles something in his soul. sanji gasps a few breaths before calming down, now wiping tears from his eyes for a completely different reason. 

“alright alright, well lets figure this out then, yeah? we figure out how we got here then we can figure out how to get back right? simple enough” 

zoro nods, “law was-“ he stops. remembers dull eyes and clammy skin and wrong wrong wrong. he shakes his head, “no, no we cant” sanji looks at him confused. 

“we cant go back,” zoro presses, “not until i fix things. i promised i would” the other man seems to pick up on his panic and his mood dampens, becomes more serious. “promised what?” 

zoros never been one to sugarcoat, but now he wishes he could find a way to soften the blow hes about to deal. he inhales, pushes the breath out. says, “luffy died, sanji.” the fact the hes actually using the other mans name seems to fly right over his head in favor of the first part. “what?” zoro huffs, is he really gonna make him say it again? “luffy di-“ sanji interrupts, angry now, fists clenched and whitened from the pressure “i heard what you said. but what do you mean.” 

he doesnt want to have to tell sanji what happened, doesnt want to talk about it at all, wants to slice it up into small enough pieces that it very well may have never existed.

he told law the others wouldn't have to know, that he would make sure of it, but he's realizing now just how unrealistic that is. as much faith as zoro places in his own abilities, he's aware he's only one man.

and, he figures, if there's anyone i can trust enough to share a burden heavy as this with, might as well be the one who's strength i'd count on just as much as my own.

sanji cant help if he doesnt know what went down once they got separated at laughtale, so zoro sets his shoulders, clenches his fists, prepares himself like hes riding into a battle he knows he has no chance of winning—hes the first mate for fucks sake—and resigns himself to filling the other man in on every horrible detail

by the end, the cook looks much the same as zoro feels, pale-faced and shaky. he runs a trembling hand through his hair and clenches his eye shut. “fuck mosshead, thats…” he doesnt bother finishing, and zoro stays silent—already knowing just how much of a shitty situation it is that theyve found themselves in.

—

(btw the reason sanji was so smug about what zoro randomly chose on the menu is bc its one of their most expensive dishes. even upon regaining his memories he still makes zoro pay it cuz hes an asshole like that. business is business 😁)

uuummm i dont feel like detailing the rest basically my idea is that they work together to try and track down all the members as well as law, since hes also a part of this. i dont know how or when or in what order but i do know finding luffy would come last. so yes its zolu but for a majority of it more in spirit than anything. maybe i can throw in some luffy pov of him living with ace and sabo . he knows something is off but cant place his finger on what. he knows something is missing but hes got his brothers with him so what else could he possibly need? etc etc. you get the idea

[bacchuschucklefuck]

the never stop blowing up vhs is where cute twinks go to get harmed

[nullians]

It’s actually insane how fandom in general has become so scared of making weird and dark and ugly works. Like I look at myself and see how I have also subconsciously adapted this instinct to self censor and make things “marketable” and it’s making me want to crawl out of my skin. I need to get weirder and worse and more off-putting hello