#i WILL lose my mind about it again when it posts
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This is my favorite part of this 8 part comic btw.
— The fact that Xisuma calls Docm Doc
— The way that, as the stress amps up and Doc gets damaged, his voice gets fucked up too. It's all scratchy and distorted and I love how Shep shows that
— The fact that Doc loses his arm and just. Can't move for a bit. In fact, he's so filled with [android version of pain] and stress and a little confusion and fear, that he freezes up, his mind sorta having to catch up.
— The fact that Etho's a man on a mission (kill grian), so he's just trying to maim them so he can get out. He rips Doc's arm most of the way, then shoves him and it really keeps him down (for like, 15 seconds, though it also impairs him in the following fight. Very clever attack.)
— The fact that Xisuma's frozen, too. Xisuma can't move, you see how he freezes up in part 2, when Etho pulls out the back-of-the-neck port? How he stills, shock and fear and disbelief so, so present in the lines that sit above him.
— How Shep illustrates thirium!! I love it!! How Etho's left eye is just bleeding profusely and the fact that, when Doc gets damaged, thirium drips on his speech, and fills the air around him, and manages to distort his hearing, all very visual to us (and probably him, just not in a literal visual sense).
I reread this (soon to be) 8 part comic all the time, just to experience all the secondhand emotion again. Just to get to this part and the last— how Etho's determination turns into fear, and that turns into terror, and how his efforts are in vain and he's killed and Doc feels that.
Doc might've won the battle but he DEFINITELY did not lose the war, nor does he feel like he's won. Because, in a way, Doc fucking dies in that moment because he was in the cockpit as Etho died. He was both the aggressor and the victim as Etho died, and that's traumatizing. Not to mention his arm being ripped off and Xisuma nearly getting badly hurt.
Cause, in a way, Doc can stop worrying about his own damage and himself. As long as he doesn't implode from stress, X can repair him. But even a slight bonk on the head can leave X with irreparable brain damage, and Etho was slamming steel against X's helmet and it broke within a few swings. If Doc checks his fact database, steel + biological creatures (especially + blunt force trauma) does NOT turn out well.
Anyways that's why I love this comic so much. When the fic is posted, idc if it's 2AM ,, I'm readng it lol :]
[Part 1] [Part 2] [PART 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Don’t Let it Reach the Heart]
Finally! Part 3 is here!! yippee!!! As a refresher, this takes place at the beginning of season 9, when Doc and Xisuma try to boot Etho back up after he shuts down pre-Season 8 Finale, set to the vibes of Joywave’s Destruction from DBHC Etho’s playlist! Ouguguh I’ve been looking forward to posting this part so much; it has some of my favorite shots so far… something about the grey-fade of Doc going into shock, something about the last two pages with xisuma and doc’s expressions… idk!! i really loved working on these :] Hope you’re enjoying the horrific, horrific ride!! =w=
As a partially insignificant but Special-To-Me note: Xisuma has always referred to dbhc doc as “Docm”— this is actually the first time X ever calls him “Doc.”
#shep is awesome#ughhhh I’m still endlessly ill about this part and so many of these panels#that tag is me#Xisuma's first “doc” :)#I LOVE THIS#i hate this#slash vpos
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Something Something Yeah It's Still Solavellan Hours (Mythal is kind of here, too)
I've seen a few very beautifully articulated posts talking about the conflicted responses players are finding themselves having in regards to the decision by writers* to have Solas' atonement route possible because of his conversation with one of the remaining fragments of Mythal.
(*honestly I hesitate to put the weight of bigger game events on their shoulders because of how much I know bigger players in the company were involved, so when you read 'writers' know I just mean whoever had final say on plot)
I love reading where people are at on this, and having now breathed, re-played the scene, cried, read some more theories, and then played the scene again enough times I think I'm now able to figure out where I'm at.
TLDR: in my humble opinion, the conversation Solas has with Mythal doesn't bring him any actual closure at all. It is only the version of the atonement ending that has Lavellan in which he is actually set upon a road to redemption.
This, like everything else where I lose my mind, will be long. I tried to restrain myself and here we are, unhinged as ever.
I was unhappy at first that Mythal's incredibly brief conversation with Solas where she releases him from her service seemed to be what finally allowed him to make a decision based on his wants and not hers. My concern stemmed mostly from the fact that a lot of us are trying to be active participants in a society that recognizes patterns of abuse and seeks to establish channels through which individuals can pursue healing without the approval, consent, or demise of their abuser.
But the more I look at the scene, the more I wonder what would have happened in a world where Veilguard got just a little more time in development. Could we have gotten a scene that more elegantly conveys the theme that we cannot heal every part of our loved ones, much as we might like to?
In an imperfect world it isn't always up to us how someone finds closure, which really sucks when you'd like to ensure a loved one finds it in a way that preserves their dignity and limits exposure to the individuals who have harmed them.
And while it could be left there, I'd like to actually push back on the idea that Mythal is in any way responsible for "healing" Solas in this moment.
I went on a different tirade a few days ago about how at the end of Inquisition, Mythal says words to Solas that on their surface seem well-intentioned or placating, but they actually just serve to further bind him in guilt and a position of servitude. In Veilguard's finale, she still does not take accountability for exactly how much of a role she played in the pain that Solas, a man others have revered and feared as a god, has gone through as he cowers, actually cowers before her.
Mythal's interaction with Solas conveys exactly two things to him as far as I am concerned (I'm going to botch these quotes but my laptop is dying so please accept some paraphrase as I rush to finish this before I go cry about this analysis to my uncaring dog):
"The terrible things we did, we did together." You are forever tied to me.
"I release you from my service." But what am I releasing you to?
Because up until Lavellan joins the fray here, all I take away from the physical and unwilling emotional cues Solas gives in this scene (he is a master in trickery, for goodness' sake, the thought of so many witnesses seeing him unable to hide behind a mask has to leave him feeling anguished on top of everything else) is that Mythal has once again reminded him of everything he did in her name and telling him that all that's left for him is to go back to the fade prison and, as he as always done, endure the crushing weight of his failures alone.
To me, in my interpretation, the Solas that hears this from Mythal with no Lavellan intervention may choose to willingly step down from his original plan (and yeah, that's gonna do some damage) but he is certainly not free of his past. He's going to be reminded of it every time he turns a corner and finds more blight to try and soothe, and even the moments that he rests will be filled with more manifestations of his regret. He says it himself: where he's going? It's terrible.
Enter Lavellan. Yeah, he couldn't bring himself to listen to her at her first plea (but like damn how many times are we going to have to watch her give a heartfelt speech only for him to be like 'something something beautiful elven rejection'). But I know that you know that our clever icon knows better than to take what Solas says at face value. She tells Rook plainly that he's absolute dogshit at lies of the heart, and she says it with her whole chest.
Lavellan sees the way his shoulders slump (in resignation yes, but you can't convince me there's not a little bit of relief there, too), she hears the agony in the "vhenan" that escapes his lips (which, don't even get me started on the fact that it's been like nine years and he has no hesitation at all calling her his heart, it just spills out of him). It is not the sound of a man delighting in the steps he's about to take. They're certainly not steps he does not dislike that lead to a destination he enjoys.
And then she watches Mythal (who I can't imagine she feels any sort of fondness or respect for) pull some weird nonsense on her love one final time, and she knows it's her moment to shine.
Mythal, I would argue, pushes Solas down one more time, shames him into seeking atonement, into once again being alone.
It is the romanced Lavellan that kneels so that he cannot fail to meet her eyes. It is she who invokes their connection, not to remind him of his failures but to reaffirm his greatest strength: their love and their love alone is inevitable. Not the consequences of his past, not the regret he thinks will consume him as he seeks to mend what has been broken. It has only ever been them.
"There is no fate but the love we share". We are forever tied together.
"There is no fate but the love we share." *I* am releasing you from everything else save for this love.
Put colloquially: get absolutely fucking wrecked, Mythal.
Body language comparison to chase up the dialogue one, anyone? The way Solas shrinks before Mythal as opposed to him walking off into the fade with Lavellan at his side and standing tall, and he does not flinch when she lifts a hand to his shoulder?
Ultimately, Mythal is a part of the atonement endings no matter what. But it is only Lavellan that refuses to let him walk alone. It is only Lavellan that guarantees that his dinan'shiral ends not in a prison of regret, but a place of promise.
Mythal bends Solas until he breaks one last time. Lavellan takes each piece, claims it as hers, and uses them to build the beginnings of a future.
#solavellan#lavellan#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#solas#solas meta#solavellan meta#solavellan hell#solavellan heaven
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Simple habits
Xavier is a man of simple and few habits, amongst them sleeping, reading and less known - journaling - in a very old looking leather notebook. Yet there was an entirely hidden habit of his, keeping random objects in his pocket, even when he leaves his apartment for another assignment. Somehow he never loses those objects.
What could not be said about his keys, which now, with a tired but resignated huff, he realizes are missing again. This has become quite the inside joke between his hunter coworker and him.
Would they be sleeping at this time?
“Ah”, his fingers grazed over a rubbery surface in the pocket of his white pants. They raised the said object and a smile settled on his lips. A pineapple scent welcomed him. The woman signed the letter with same golden gel pen - she hoped Jenna would not mind. Mission records with a glitter pen… he laughed softly as his fingers danced across the length of the plastic. Yes, he remembered that afternoon when she was with him, sat on the floor trying to remember all the details of the mission, because the Hunter’s database was down; she had lost the habit of the mechanical act, which showed in her wobbly handwriting. He could make a few words from across her, ‘myst’, ‘no wounds’ and ‘no protocores retrieved’ among other small, but pivotal details.
It made him smile fonder as his memory brought forth her shy expression upon noticing his focused stare - she had interpreted as judgement. Could not have been further from the truth, Xavier had wanted to ask her to write something in his secret notebook; as a memento. But her lively mannerisms had her standing and running across the living room. She was going to post the report to be collected and sent, since it was a late report and it was a Sunday afternoon. A sunny Sunday afternoon. And Xavier could only think of the weak scent of pineapple lingering on the table.
He had been standing in front of his door like a fool who found a heart of gold when the girl waved her hand in front of him, “Earth to Xavier! Please respond!” Her joyful voice brought him back from his reverie; and with a slight jump and shake of head, he locked eyes with her.
And suddenly the pen did not seem so gold, her eyes seemed far more dazzling. “I was-I lost my keys again” he blurted, not afraid of being judged - as he knew she would not. Quickly returning the pen to his pocket.
“You can stay with me until we get a replacement” her inviting words made him not want to get a replacement; he would have liked to throw that key somewhere deep where no one would ever find and no one could replace.
“You must be hungry” she commented casually, as she made her way to the small kitchen. “Chicken wings?”
His heart was filled with warmth, “that’d be great”
Two plates were settled on the round glass table; and Xavier sat there observing her coordinate movements. The feel of the pen still felt nice against his fingertips - maybe he could keep it with him for another mission. A good luck charm of sorts.
A.N.: This is a fanfic for Love and Deepspace. All the rights are reserved to Infold. This is only meant for entertainment and appreciation for the world of Lnds. Please, do not repost, copy or translate. Feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Enjoy.
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I saw your Jegulus post about them not being the typical teenage romance and can I just give you a double high five in agreement! I then HAD to find one of many moments I've written for them which exemplify this and share it with you. And this one is the one I settled on. Remus' POV, year five for the Marauders, year four for Regulus. Context is, this is the first time Remus has spent time with James and Regulus together after discovering their secret relationship. It's James' birthday and Lily wants James occupied all day so she can prep for his party. Lily also knows about James and Regulus BTW, makes contextual sense in the story (Sirius does not know, doesn't apply to this scene though).
Hope you enjoy. :)
>>><<<
There were people who loved each other, like Remus loved Sirius. He would have handed Sirius his body, heart, and soul. He loved him with every ounce of his being. And yet… There were people who loved each other, and then there was James and Regulus.
Remus could think of no other way to describe it. They weren’t two hearts beating for each other. They were the void between heartbeats. They occupied the infinitesimal moment as an inhale became an exhale. They were two people, who shared a single soul. And being around them was both intoxicating and strange. Remus felt like if he breathed too hard in their direction he’d mess with their air, which was exactly perfect between them as their breaths mingled. For surely two people so melded would only breathe the air of the other. And then they would poke fun at each other and their aura would brighten, literally bringing each into sharper visual focus, before it blurred again as they melted back into each other.
They didn’t even have to be touching (though they nearly always were) for this phenomenon to take place. And for half the day Remus thought he was merely groggy from the Pamoja wielding. He thought his brain was sending him confused signals as he watched James and Regulus be James and Regulus.
But a massive lunch, plenty of teenage goofing off, and exploring the surrounding forest left him with a very clear mind and the same mental signals. At which point Remus decided James and Regulus were an exhibition in their own category of relationship, absolutely unique to them. Love was not the word he would use to describe them. It was so much more. They filled the spaces no one else even noticed. And it merged their existence into a single organism.
It was fucking intense.
After they parted ways, as James and Remus continued up to the castle together, Remus said tentatively, “hey, so is it always like that?”
“What do you mean?” asked James absently.
“Er, do you really not know.”
James glanced over at him. “It’s always like that, yeah.”
“Bloody hell.” Remus couldn’t get a good read on James’ face for they were walking side by side, but he thought James might be smiling. “I knew he had to be something special and way more substantial than he looks to withstand your affection, but Godric James. I don’t even know what to call that. I’m not sure it’s physically sustainable.”
“He’s my star.”
“Mate, he’s your fucking universe.”
James playfully threw out an elbow and definitely didn’t look at Remus.
“What can I say, we are infinite. Don’t look so scandalized, you and Sirius aren’t so different.”
“No, we are very different. We exist in the physical world James. You two are already way out there in your own orbit.”
“See why I can’t lose him.”
They took several paces before Remus spoke.
“James, I’m scared for you. That kind of connection has to be dangerous.”
“Want to stop and have a smoke?”
“Took the words right out of my mouth mate.”
<3
JUST REMEMBERED I HAD THIS IN MY INBOX FOR AGES I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO RESPOND TO THIS
But honestly it's one of my favourite things about them, the poetic quality makes it feel like they're finding each other again just when they need it at the same time as we're finding them when WE need it, you know?
That's so real though, the idea of the two of them being able to almost spiritually feed off of each other's presence is so true. Like existence is centred around them for a moment. They take over everything.
And it's probably bad in the long run but it's so beautiful that the pain is okay. Because without all of the painful bits, were the good parts really all that valuable?
Also I love your style, it feels real and almost factual if that makes sense? Even when you're describing metaphysical aspects the certainty gives a strong feeling of truth and rationality. I like it.
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LETTERS (Wolfstar Oneshot)
Summary: Letters from Sirius Black to Remus Lupin from Azkaban. He isn’t allowed to send the letters so they’re only one sided, which definitely makes it sad. There are a few mentions of fun past Marauders moments/pranks!:) Harry Potter Marauders Fandom
Note: I do not support the views of the author (I am a trans person so....no🤬) but I love these very gay characters so much that I had to write about them!
Word Count: 1k
Warnings: Hints of mental instability, losing memories because of dementors, definite angst, mentions of Lily and James’ death, brief mentions of sex, swearing, Sirius’ hate for Peter Pettigrew, death threats towards Peter Pettigrew, and overall kind tragic because Sirius is stuck in Azkaban. Let me know if I missed any!!
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Moons
I'm not sure why I'm writing to you--we're not allowed to send or receive post from Azkaban, but you know that already. You always seem to know everything, you're smart as hell.
I'm not going to waste parchment explaining everything, I already spend too much time rehearsing what I'm going to say. Lily and James, Remus. I still can't make myself believe it, I'm not sure I want to.
I want to ask you not to forget about me, not to believe I'm a traitor. No, that's a lie. I want to ask you to wait for me. I'll come back to you one day, I promise. It’s selfish of me, to hope you won't move on. But I've always been a selfish bastard, you know that too.
I can't remember your eyes, Remus. Or your laugh. I try, every day to conjure you up from my memories, but the Dementors are slowly sucking you from my mind, one day at a time. I'm terrified of losing you--our years at Hogwarts, for good. I'm scared that one day I won't remember what you taste like, your oversized jumpers, the sounds you make when you come. I love you, Remus, and the Dementors prey on love, it's a feast to them.
But they can't take away my hate, my need for revenge. I fucking hate him, I hate him I hate himIhatehimIhate--
Pads
*
Moony
Do you remember the time we shagged on the big couch in the common room and James found out? He was so disgusted he didn't sit there till Christmas.
Do you remember the time that we all got drunk and played Seven Minutes In Heaven and I charmed the spinner so I'd get you? That was our first kiss. I remember.
Then there was that time that we slipped Snivellus a potion that turned his hair pink for a week. We thought it was the most brilliant thing we'd ever done. Did he retaliate? I'm not sure anymore.
Remember when we snuck out to Hogsmeade through the secret passage and almost ran into Professor McGonagall? Did we get caught? I don't remember.
I'm trying to remember. I have to remember
Padfoot
*
Rem
Half my bloody family is in here, you know. It makes for a wonderful reunion, lots of cursing and threats of murder-- just like old times!
I wonder if my parents are proud of me now, after what they think I did. After what everyone thinks I did.
I'm sorry. I'm so damned sorry for all of it, for the way I must have hurt you. I wish I could actually send these letters and wish I could talk to you again. Just for a few minutes.
There are so many things I should have done differently. So many things.
Sirius
*
Remus
I wonder where you are, now? What you're doing?
It's been five years now, for all I know you could be dead or married or finally realized you're better off without me. I wouldn't blame you for the last one.
That thought haunts me every day, that I'll get out of here and I'll find you and you'll say that you've moved on and none of it matters now.
Cause I will find you. I'm getting out of here, one day.
Sirius
*
This will be my last letter, I'm almost out of parchment and there's no way in hell they'll bring me more. Maybe I'll write on the walls to keep myself from going mad.
I'm so sorry for everything that I did. For everything that I failed to do. I never told you enough how much I loved you and now it's too late.
I'm going to get out of here, I promise. I have to.
I'm going to kill him, fucking rip him apart with my bare hands, damn my wand.
And then I'm going to find you. And everything is going to be alright because then I'll be in your arms.
#dead gay wizards#the marauders#the marauders era#hp marauders#dead gay wizards from the 70s#wolfstar#remus loves sirius#remus lupin#moony x padfoot#sirius orion black#sirius black#marauders era#the maruaders#mauraders#wolfstar fanfiction#wolfstar fic#mauraders fandom#rip your heart out#sorry for this#sad fic#fanfiction#moony#padfoot#my roman empire#sirius in azkaban#prisoner of azkaban#azkaban#dementors#hp fandom#harry potter
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I also need everyone to know I'm starting to keep a compilation of this guy lookin' like the SADDEST motherfucker I ever did see because the narrative sunk its claws into him and he JUST wants to go home. What if he WANTS to be too short to ride? Has the galaxy considered that?
#i literally. i'm still not over this. this is going in the queue and i need you all to know#i WILL lose my mind about it again when it posts#swtor#swtor screenshots#i have. no clue how he ended up like such a sad dog in a fuckin wet box#just by taking him out of the agent storyline and into trooper#it just. it just HAPPENED okay#vs: kiss with a fist / self-control in locker room showers [trooper!tyr]#vs: all their words for glory / they all sound so empty [outlander trooper!tyr]#also it's. only a matter of time before i turn one of these into my avatar. tbh.#like. look at him. just look at him. christ.#love him though...
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I'm certain I've seen this said somewhere else already and I cannot for the life of me track it down but Dream's favourite colour being purple and Nightmare's being yellow
Everybody assumes Dream's is yellow because, well, he's dressed in it head to toe and his magic is yellow and his eyelights are yellow. It's just a bright happy colour, it must be his favourite! Only Blue and Ink know it's not, Ink because he takes note of how Dream favours purple any time he gets to pick something or joins in on an art project and Blue because he just asked.
Everybody assumes Nightmare doesn't have a favourite colour, that if you asked he'd say he was above that sort of thing or tell you something edgy like black because it's the colour of his soul. And it's kind of true, if you asked he would never admit to liking a colour, especially not one so cheery and bright. But the boys have definitely noted how he has paintings of sunrises in his offices and sunflowers planted outside.
#UTDR#UTMV#Dream Sans#Nightmare Sans#Big day for Dream posting lol#I'm losing my mind trying to remember where I saw this post but tumblr search says I'm crazy so maybe it was a different site#Anyway. brothers!!#They like the other's colour because it was safety to them as kids#When Nightmare lies in bed and stares at the yellow picture on the wall he feels safe for a moment#When Dream rolls over and bunches up the purple blanket in his bed he feels calm again#And when I lie awake until 3am thinking of these guys on a work night I'm being so normal!!!#Also I love to add that the boys could - if they really theorised about it - possibly put together that he likes yellow because of Dream#Blue and Ink don't make the connection at all because Nightmare is goop-coloured to them#They just think Dream likes purple for reasons
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I really love Gwen's story in the end of ATSV cuz even if she and Miles never speak again she has real friends now, she's not all alone anymore. She has people who understand her the way others couldn't. And things aren't 100% perfect in her dimension but at least her father no longer thinks she's a murderer and even though everyone else will probably never change their mind about her in her world at least her father is here on her side. It's a huge improvement from how things were in the first movie and the majority of the second one. She spent the whole first movie realizing what it's like to be happy again, in the second movie she was afraid that she would lose everything because things were even worse than before, at one point she did lose everything, and after that she gained more than she thought she would.
Of course she was so negative about stuff, cuz when life is beating you down for too long you forget that good things can happen.
#I'm surprised that we don't make more analyses about her character cuz it's so good#probably because most of y'all are too busy hating her#anyway#it's always like that#when you've been sad for too long you forget what it's like to be happy and you stop trying to make yourself happy#gwen stacy#spider woman#ghost spider#spider gwen#spider man across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#into the spiderverse#beyond the spiderverse#spider man into the spider verse#spider man beyond the spider verse#Spiderverse#took me how many days to realize that i misspelled story as sorry even though i read this post again and again to see if i there are some#spelling mistakes#like how come i didn't see that i read this post so many times#also is instead of in#pls tell me in future it's like this post was hacked#so apparently it's since i posted it I'm losing my mind here how come i didn't see it????????????????
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something something the window in light & night is a mirror and its all just been Whole looking in a mirror thinking about himself/his brain
#souls the only one that can see him too#cos 1. hes technically whole missing his heart & mind so he'd be able to see his whole self through it#But mainly 2. eyes are the window to the soul or something yk yk#“I want to see your eyes looking back and into mine” yk yk yk?#planning animatics in my head that ill never do [as you do]#& the visual of very stark differences of the black white & grey of hms singing#then suddenly swapping to whole by himself in front a mirror in like his room or bathroom idk wherever mirrors exist#like during the bit when Whole sings in Light. thats why its much quieter & isolated#and cos Soul joins in the next verse & sings with Whole. thats him seeing Whole again.#then them all overlayed on each other in the end of the video is the whole mirror with them all. if that makes sense#im franticly typing this cos im busy but i dont wanna lose thought#its prolly already been thought of but idk#windows are cool#i was planning a hms art with a window so. i was thinkin about window lore#chonnys charming chaos compendium#moss post#chonny jash#if anythings misspelled. shhhhh im typing fast okay#did you guys know i love light & wholes part in light & the parallels in everything
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Sparkstember Day 11: Angst In My Pants (The Decline And Fall Of Me)
Album two of two in the series of Sparks' immaculate new wave releases! Iconic in every way imaginable from the music to the artwork to ONE music video. I think it's more musically (and lyrically!) varied and mature in tone (besides... a couple exceptions. Yes, an album called Angst In My Pants) than its predecessor, which is a very good development. These songs will leave you chuckling and bopping along and also pondering the intricacies of human existence. Ok, maybe that's a bit of a stretch, but it can't be denied that behind much of the earnestness and theatricality here, there's lots of quite emotional, introspective and thought-provoking stuff to be found.
Thematically, this album goes everywhere. One moment we are in Sextown U.S.A, the next we're visiting Disneyland, California where we make friends among people and animals. On a more serious note though, I think the biggest emotional whiplash one could experience between different songs on an album is between Mickey Mouse and Sherlock Holmes. And yet there's still a very prominent element of humour, even in those songs that are on the more serious or dramatic end of the scale.
I said a few days ago that I'd try to return to the topic of Sparks' brand of humour and how it works, but I don't feel intelligent enough to analyse that today. And I'm pretty sure that from what I've seen, Other People And The Maels Themselves (Said It Better Than Me). So instead, as a little send-off, please remember: if a mouse can be special, well, SO CAN YOU!!! 🫵
Favourite songs (and other highlights):
Angst In My Pants: literally no other song like this one in this world. I can't tell why that is but it's just. So great
I Predict: I had a weird kind of effect where I heard this song in my early days of Sparking and it felt VEEERY familiar to me. I think it was due to the genre / style here, it reminded me of something specific, at first I thought it was very glam rock but I'm pretty sure that this is not it but something else (and I don't know what to call it in that case!). Anyway, banger song
Tarzan And Jane: whoa wait, am I already skipping to the third-to-last song on the tracklist?? I guess I am. This one's great and one of my early favs too (I wonder how long it will take until I run out of things to say about my fav songs and it all just becomes this list of 'it's very good and I like it a lot. next.')
The Decline And Fall Of Me: it's great!! I like it!! And, of course, "check out my pizzas"
Eaten By The Monster Of Love: personal reasons that lead to a printed and framed mini-comic of my making appearing on my desk, which features some of the lyrics of this song, which caused me to have it permanently stuck in my head for a pretty long period of time. And this way I ended up liking it much much more than I did in the beginning, when it still seemed somehow pretty unremarkable to me
#i probably should have been putting these under a read more from the start. welp.#not very happy with this post idk really what my vision here was. but if i try to rewrite it i will start progressively losing my mind#so please accept this mess today. ability to articulate my thoughts died a final death i think#i hope that the tone of a Slightly Annoying Music Reviewer Who Tries to Appear Smart Yet Cool#that i accidentally put on here. is at least somewhat enjoyable#i think that someone who actually loves angst might be a better person to talk about why it's so good#i like it a lot but in a more 'acknowledging its brillance and respecting that deeply' way#nothing negative to say about it! it's just not a personal favourite. and yet i still find it so great on some fundamental level#oh and credit to @carcarrot for the idea of how a collection of frozen pizzas could be displayed hehehe#sparkstember 2024#my art#goose monologues#edit: ok i guess tumblr decided that it'll just post scheduled posts instead of saving them when i edit them#so have an early post in that case (i already had to delete it and make it again bcs of this yesterday ugh)
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sophia seeing cailan's body hanging there when they go back to ostagar, and suddenly all she can see even through the rot and the ruin is just how much he looked like alistair...... :'(
a mental image that totally will not haunt her through alistair's many years on the throne as rebellions and assassination attemps come and go. doesn't send her unhinged and unwise even a little
#I've never played back to ostagar before actually! getting some more delicious trauma for everyone#and also zev was there (affectionate)#oc: sophia amell#warden x alistair#dragon age#dragon age origins#the vibes are slightly weird in the dialogue in this dlc -- this uh. did not seem to be the relationship alistair and cailan had#such as it even was. but hey I got this angst out of it what more can I ask#I had sophia and alistair smooch on the platform place thingy where you meet him for the first time. I am a sap but I am free#what's that post about the unconquerable human spirit that's like 'despite all the horrors I am still horny' again. basically they're that#alistair is honestly The most pocket healed warrior of all time he's got two spirit healers who love him laser focused on him#at all times#(sophia switches between unleashing horrifying amounts of raw magical power on the enemy and going 'oh nooo let me see I'll fix it')#that boy is Protected. wynne and sophia glaring at you past his shoulders like 'he said no FUCKING pickles ok. last warning'#(actually probably sophia would glare at you from like. the height of his armpit; she's Short lol)#also partially why I had to change my canon b/c if alistair was left in the fade sophia would. she would quite simply end the world#long before solas had the time to. she would tear the veil to shreds to get to him. mind and circle mage restraint irretrievably lost#her greatest fear is becoming unmoored (which in many ways also means losing alistair) and everyone else should be afraid of that too#I do like how this playthrough is shaking out tho it feels like a more grown-up version of the story I told with them originally#more complicated and acknowledging the other forces pulling on them (when I was younger I liked the freedom of them both staying wardens)#but it just makes the 'we're sticking together *no matter what*' all the more satisfying and triumphant for me.#we'll find a way and if there is no way we'll fucking make it together :') and they do
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I’d like to ask a question about Kokichi’s character in Chapter 4, specifically with him seeing the “Truth of the outside world.” Yes, it was a big shift in his character to suddenly want killing, but I’m not entirely convinced that it was because of him losing his mind from seeing the outside world. I think at least some of it was a facade to make others think of him as a bad guy/the mastermind; to make his Chapter 5 character more believable so his plan would work. What do you think?
Well, I'm not here to convince you one way or another.
My theories and personal interpretations are just that--personal interpretations and theories. The narrative is web of interpretations and I only hold a single thread of it.
To me, personally, I think Kokichi's behavioral shift is far too drastic, going from "I'm going to beat this killing game" to "I'm going to become a blackened and kill someone", to plotting with Gonta to mercy kill the whole class. I think this jump has only one true source--the madness of seeing the end of the world you and your fellow classmates have been killing each other over.
I know it's a difficult feeling to imagine--but that's probably why you think differently than me. I cannot fathom what it's like to see the end of the world--and how I personally would react to that, aside from pure devastation. I don't think any human being can truly comprehend what "the end of the world" would look or feel like--which is why the concept often appears in horror plots and the sort. I don't think our brains can truly comprehend becoming an endangered species, the world we knew to be suddenly inhabitable, to be on the brink of death and demise and know that everything you once loved has already left you behind.
So I ask you this as my answer: Do you really think that any human being on this earth could handle the end of the world?
My answer to my own question is: No. I don't think any human could mentally handle seeing what Kokichi saw--and that's why I don't think his "I am the Mastermind" plot is the cause of his personality shift during chapter 4.
It just doesn't make sense to me.
I'm sorry if this comes off as curt or rude--but the amount of asks I've gotten specifically about Chapter 4, and about my Mercy Kill Theory, with the sentiment of "Oh your theory must be incorrect, somehow", is far too grating on me. Never the mind asks that go and try to find loop holes to prove the theory wrong, but I digress--that is neither here nor there.
#Kokichi Ouma#Danganronpa V3#DRV3#Theory discussion#Sighs.#I'm sorry Anon I'm /sure/ you mean well but.#The amount of times I've gotten asks on my personal about this theory--everything about chapter 4#from Kokichi losing his mind over seeing the dead world to the mercy kill plot itself#people kept trying so hard to prove my theory wrong#For some reason this specific theory is one people are especially prone to knee-jerk reactions akin to ''No this is wrong!''#I don't mean to be so salty but. Why. Why this theory.#Why is THIS theory the one people try to disprove to me constantly.#Especially more so when I said in the original theory post that I did not want to argue or discuss it like this?#In the future I might just ignore asks regarding my chapter 4 theories. I am tired of answering them.#Sorry again I know this probably comes off as salty and bitter#but please also understand that when you get people constantly trying to prove you wrong over a theory that--#--you don't even want to have arguments over because it's a bit of a personal one for you?#It's so exasperating.
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Losing My Mind over Veilguard 8/??
See, I waited a perfectly reasonable amount of time before coming in swinging again but I actually cannot get over how dead the game is. Literally. (Me ranting about an early game quest in Minrathous incoming)
Spoilers below the break
So. The first time you go to dock town? And Neve says in one of seventy different ways "no you don't have to come with me, this is my home not yours, I can handle this myself if you want to stay back" ?(but the showing not telling argument is for another day so I'll refocus and conserve energy for another day). Anyways.
This quest. The one where you go into the chantry in Minrathous and surprise!
Dead bodies absolutely EVERYWHERE.
I took a screenshot and then lost it, but it's worth mentioning that in my game, Neve's line of dialogue above about tracking down family and friends of the deceased didn't even trigger. If it had, however, I still would have lost my mind.
Why, you might ask?
Because after counting, losing count because I was counting so high, and then recounting about seven thousand times I can confidently tell you that plus or minus two to three more corpses, there are EIGHTY SIX dead bodies in the CHANTRY. The holy center of an incredibly popular religion! And even if it weren't that! It is a massive grounds with EIGHTY SIX DEAD PEOPLE who were KILLED HORRIFICALLY BY THE VENATORI AND DEMONS. How are you going to have the time to track down next of kin for that many people? And WHY are we acting like this is NORMAL?!
Dock Town is played very one-note already as a neighborhood where sketchy things happen and people go missing and it's best to just keep your head down if you're not in a position to do something about it.
But oh my sweet baby Maker come onnnnnnn.
You aren't going to recover from this if you're this branch of the Chantry. Presumably, you've just taken a massive hit across all levels of your religious hierarchy and that takes time and training to fill. And dock town is poor as hell, so where are you going to get the funding to fix this sudden staffing issue?
How does this affect (per @housederiva's iconic posts) Viper? Ya know, the guy we have found out through datamining is literally the Black Divine?? All we see (in the scenario where Treviso is saved) is him sadly sitting outside the chantry going "we remember the fallen" and that's presumably for the people lost when the dragon attacked, with nothing spared for the (again, I can't not lose my mind over this) eighty six dead people who were devoted to the same cause he is!
A whole smattering of holy women have just been yeeted off the mortal coil and it means absolutely nothing to your immediate party save for some of the emptiest lines ever, the city as a whole, or in the larger lore of the game. At all.
There are so many moments like this that had me rapidly oscilating between screaming at my ceiling and looking exactly like this:
And this isn't even something they can pass off as being too tied to the source material and wanting to start "fresh". This is just lazy, empty, disappointing storytelling and it's why I lose my mind a little more every time I see an ardent defender of the game tell an older fan to "get over it" or "let go of your expectations."
Because having something like (so sorry) EIGHTY SIX DEATHS go down with actually NO ripples throughout the rest of the game coming from ANY studio, let alone one that used to kill this kind of thing, is crazy to me. And I will die on that hill, even if it means Neve just kind of skips over my body on her way to find my next of kin only to never spare me another thought again.
#veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard critical#datv critical#dragon age veilguard#datv spoilers#veilguard critical
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Song of the Day: September 4
“Paint My Face” by The Devil Makes Three
#song of the day#looking for a quote I knew I had written down in one of my 'going to want to read this one again' folders#(the quote was by Starke of howtofightwrite:#'Full plate works fantastically against some weapons‚ but‚ ultimately‚ if you're a giant bell and someone else has a hammer‚#I can completely botch a metaphor.'#I wanted this quote in relation to a tangent from an explanation I was giving Duncan about Mandalorians and slug-throwers#this is very how my mind works)#and I first looked for 'hammer' and found the beloved howtofightwrite quote#(also Warsan Shire 'The House' lines: 'Sometimes the men - they come with keys‚ and sometimes‚ the men - they come with hammers.')#but then I was thinking 'what if I looked for swords' on account of I am very swordtember excited and then lo and behold the lyrics!#'if I should fall / you take my sword / all that is mine / will be yours#do not fear for those we leave behind / the blood that runs in your veins it is mine'#also special mention to the quote immediately above it which I had almost forgot and which would be such a tragedy to lose#'when one is without debilitating venom‚ one must be as a horse do' (mule kick) from a tumblr post by teaboot
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag
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zelda and shadow in the fsa manga drive me ridiculously insane actually. the panel where shadow is kneeling on the floor and zelda is standing there looking down at him and they're SEEING each other is enough to give me fucking RABIES. LOOK AT THIS
#IT'S ABOUT HOW THEY GO FROM ANTAGONIZING EACH OTHER AT THE BEGINNING TO ACTUALLY TRULY GENUINELY SEEING EACH OTHER AT THE END!!!!#HOW ZELDA GOES FROM 'You're no shadow! More like a faint and twisted echo! Even at his WORST Link would never be as crude and rude as you!'#TO 'Do you really think the light will hurt you? Don't you see? You are a Link‚ too. Deep inside‚ you're really a hero.'#AND HOW SHADOW GOES FROM 'Curse you... ...Princess Zelda!'#and. all the other things#TO BRAVING THE WORLD OF LIGHT AGAIN EVEN THOUGH HE'S WEAKENED AND PAINED AND TERRIFIED OF THE LIGHT#BECAUSE SHE WAS THE FIRST PERSON WHO EVER SPOKE A KIND WORD TO HIM AND MEANT IT. NO STRINGS ATTACHED. NO REWARD. JUST KIND.#EVEN WHEN SHE HAD ALL THE REASON NOT TO BE.#SO HE TAKES VIO'S FORM AND TELLS THE OTHER LINKS WHAT'S GOING ON (AND EXPERIENCES REAL CONCERN AND WORRY FROM THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER#WHICH IS A WHOLE OTHER FUCKING POST) AND SHATTERS THE FUCKING MIRROR. SHATTERS HIS WHOLE LIFE.#BECAUSE SHE BELIEVED IN HIS ABILITY TO BE A HERO. BECAUSE SHE WAS KIND TO HIM. BECAUSE SHE SAW HIM. BECAUSE SHE *REALLY* SAW HIM.#BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SAVE HER. TO LIVE UP TO THAT KINDNESS. TO BE THE HERO SHE SAW IN HIM. LIKE!!!!!!!!!#i will lose my mind over it. i will genuinely lose my mind.#she looked at him as pathetic and weak and broken as he was and saw her friend in him. and she was kind. and so he sacrificed himself.#because someone was kind to him and meant it. head in my FUCKING hands.#sorry it's going insane about the four swords adventures manga again hours. but when is it not honestly#fsa#txt
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