#people kept trying so hard to prove my theory wrong

[unweavinglies]

I’d like to ask a question about Kokichi’s character in Chapter 4, specifically with him seeing the “Truth of the outside world.” Yes, it was a big shift in his character to suddenly want killing, but I’m not entirely convinced that it was because of him losing his mind from seeing the outside world. I think at least some of it was a facade to make others think of him as a bad guy/the mastermind; to make his Chapter 5 character more believable so his plan would work. What do you think?

Well, I'm not here to convince you one way or another.

My theories and personal interpretations are just that--personal interpretations and theories. The narrative is web of interpretations and I only hold a single thread of it.

To me, personally, I think Kokichi's behavioral shift is far too drastic, going from "I'm going to beat this killing game" to "I'm going to become a blackened and kill someone", to plotting with Gonta to mercy kill the whole class. I think this jump has only one true source--the madness of seeing the end of the world you and your fellow classmates have been killing each other over.

I know it's a difficult feeling to imagine--but that's probably why you think differently than me. I cannot fathom what it's like to see the end of the world--and how I personally would react to that, aside from pure devastation. I don't think any human being can truly comprehend what "the end of the world" would look or feel like--which is why the concept often appears in horror plots and the sort. I don't think our brains can truly comprehend becoming an endangered species, the world we knew to be suddenly inhabitable, to be on the brink of death and demise and know that everything you once loved has already left you behind.

So I ask you this as my answer: Do you really think that any human being on this earth could handle the end of the world?

My answer to my own question is: No. I don't think any human could mentally handle seeing what Kokichi saw--and that's why I don't think his "I am the Mastermind" plot is the cause of his personality shift during chapter 4.

It just doesn't make sense to me.

I'm sorry if this comes off as curt or rude--but the amount of asks I've gotten specifically about Chapter 4, and about my Mercy Kill Theory, with the sentiment of "Oh your theory must be incorrect, somehow", is far too grating on me. Never the mind asks that go and try to find loop holes to prove the theory wrong, but I digress--that is neither here nor there.

[ashwhowrites]

Hi, can i request an angst fic? insecure eddie where there is a misunderstanding with soft reader and due to his rejection trauma, he acts douchy as a defense mechanism. Soft reader, not used to get treated harshly, she turns cold. But then when eddie figured out that reader is more important than his ego, he finally trying to resolve his trauma before reconcile back with reader, although took some time and effort. Happy ending!

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it! Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Push away

Eddie knew he protected his feelings to an extreme. He hurt people before they could hurt him. He refused to be close to anyone, people always left. He was horrible at relationships. The second he felt the walls caving in, he was out the door.

Not many people had good things to say about him, and he didn't give them opportunities to.

Y/N was a soft and polite girl. She was quiet but spoke passionately. Y/N didn't talk to many people, but no one had anything bad to say about her. Until Eddie Munson proved that theory wrong.

~~~

Y/N couldn't remember when her crush on Eddie surfaced, but he was all she could think about. They had some classes together, and he sat across the room but at her eye level. She could stare and daydream for as long as she wanted.

It took her weeks to get the courage to say something to him, but she was glad she did. Because after that, a friendship began.

She didn't want to scare him off with her feelings, so she settled for just being his friend first. She could get to know him and enjoy being with him without having it mean anything more.

Eddie actually really enjoyed having her around. He wasn't the best at letting anyone in, but something about her felt comforting and warm. His brain was able to shut off around her. Their friendship felt easy to him. He wasn't worried about impressing her or trying to be someone he wasn't. For once, he was able to be just friends with a girl.

They hung out mostly every day. The second school ended, she was in his van and they'd go to his trailer and watch random movies.

The one thing Y/N didn't think through, was how hard it was going to be to act like she wasn't falling for him. They kept everything at a friend level, and she wasn't sure if it was the best idea to push for more. Eddie was a loner, and she should be grateful she made it this far.

But the more they hung out, and the more he wrapped his arm around her shoulder during movies, she couldn't think straight. All she could think about was holding his hand and feeling his lips move against hers.

"What's going on in there?" Eddie's voice caused her to snap into reality. His finger lightly pushed on her forehead.

"Sorry, what?" She blushed, blinking as she moved her eyes away from Eddie's face.

"You were staring and barely moving. You seemed to be in deep thought. Penny for your thoughts?" He reached over and paused the movie. His full attention was on her as she gulped.

She didn't know what to say. There was no way she was going to confess how she felt about him. But maybe she should? He seemed to be more comfortable with her and he constantly was touching her in some type of way.

Oh for fucks sake, go for it

"I have a crush on this guy, and I can't get him out of my head." She whispered, she worried if she said it loud enough it would be more real.

Eddie wasn't sure what he felt, but it wasn't good. He almost felt hurt that she would admit that to his face. But why should he care, it wasn't like they were dating or that he even liked her that way.

"Oh, well. Why don't you ask him out?" Eddie said he tried to sound like he didn't care. He was helping a friend.

"I can't tell if he likes me back. I enjoy having him in my life and I don't want to scare him off."

"Yeah, that's fair. Maybe compliment him, get close, and lean in for a kiss. If he leans in, go for it." Eddie wanted to smack himself. He didn't want her perfect lips to be touching some loser. But again, he was just a friend and he didn't have a say in that.

"Okay, kinda like this?" She whispered, her heart racing out of her chest as she placed her palm on Eddie's thigh. The rough material of his jeans scratched against her skin as she softly moved her hand down to his knee and then back up again.

Eddie felt his breathing stop as she lingered on his thigh. He wanted to look away but her eyes had him in a daze. His stomach flipped and he hated the way he was slightly turned on. He can't be feeling like this, because then he would have to admit he felt something. He searched his brain for an escape, he tried to move his legs but he was paralyzed.

All he could do was watch in horror as she leaned in. Her eyes searched his as she moved closer, her mouth inches away from his.

"Then I'd kiss him, right?" She whispered against his lips, and before he knew it he leaned in.

She felt the weight off of her shoulders as her lips crashed on his. Her eyes closed as she savored the feeling of his soft lips against hers. Her head spun as he gripped her waist and kissed her back. Her thoughts were gone as their kiss deepened. Her hands moved up his thigh, to his chest then around his neck, he pushed her body against his. He swallowed her moans as his tongue licked her bottom lip. She didn't think twice about opening her mouth to allow his tongue to touch hers.

The moment was perfect

The moment was everything she dreamed

It was everything she needed to say the words

She pulled away breathing heavily, and her eyes fluttered open. Eddie slowly blinked, like he wasn't sure where he was as he stared at her.

Then something snapped.

His hands yanked her arms off of him and he flew off the couch. He paced fire into the floor as he walked back and forth.

"What the fuck was that!"

Y/N was taken aback by how angry he sounded. She nervously tried to form an answer.

"I did what you said." Her voice was calm but confused. "I like you, Eddie."

Her words glued his feet to the floor. He was stuck, his feet felt too heavy to pick up as his breathing picked up.

He felt it

He felt the walls caving in. The room got smaller as he struggled to breathe. Her eyes haunted him as she watched. He felt like his body was being crushed between two walls and he couldn't push them apart.

"Well don't," he spat out harshly. She felt her body flinch as his eyes glared down at her. "I mean what is wrong with you? Why did you have to fuck up the friendship we had?"

She really did not understand why he was so angry. Even if he didn't like her, that wouldn't cause him to be so agitated.

"I'm sorry, I thought you wanted me to! You didn't move my hand, and you leaned in. And you kissed me back. I mean you deepened the kiss. I thought that meant you liked me too" She apologized. She worried she might have made him uncomfortable.

"Why would I like you too? What possible idiotic theory are you basing that on?"

She tried not to cry as she stood up. She wasn't sure who the hell was across from her, because it was not the sweet boy she spent her time with.

"Why are you acting like this? I said I was sorry."

"Because I know if I allow myself to have feelings for you, you'll be the one I spend the rest of my life with," Eddie confessed, and that scared him the most.

"Would that be so bad? I know it's scary, but don't you think we should try?" She asked, she slowly moved closer to him. Her hand softly cradled his face.

Her touch turned him into ice. It was all too much and he needed her gone. He needed her out of his mind, his sight, and his life.

"Yes because I'll have to live with the regret of choosing you."

Y/N yanked her hand off of his face like he burned her. She felt like the air was kicked out of her lungs.

"Fuck you," she spat as hot tears rolled down her face. She turned around to grab her jacket off the couch. She didn't bother putting it on, she slammed the door behind her as she left.

The loud bang echoed through the trailer as the walls moved back to their normal distance. Eddie could feel the air returning to his lungs as he dropped to the floor.

He escaped

But he wasn't sure how long the escaping would feel like freedom.

~~~

Eddie figured if she was out of sight, she'd be out of his mind

But he was wrong

She never left his head. Images of her smiling and laughing. But also the image of her crying and leaving. It's been a few days and they haven't talked. He knew they wouldn't, but he didn't think he'd miss her.

He escaped but this time it felt different. It made him feel worse. There wasn't any relief on his shoulders anymore; bricks piled on until it was too heavy to even stand up.

He missed having a friend. He knew he handled the situation horribly, and he wanted to apologize for it.

~~~

Y/N tried to ignore how awful she felt. She was embarrassed and regretted ever telling Eddie she liked him. But at least he showed his true colors and she could begin moving on.

Y/N hadn't seen Eddie since the big blowout, and Monday approached faster than she wanted. She wasn't sure how seeing him would go, but she knew she would ignore him.

~

Eddie had never felt so nervous to pull up to school, a endless pit settled in his stomach as he walked through the parking lot. He kept his eye out for Y/N's car, he wasn't sure if he wanted to find it or not.

Without catching a glimpse of her, Eddie walked into the school. He planned to wait at her locker until she showed up.

~

Y/N rolled her eyes as Eddie stood at her locker.

"Move," She mumbled with a blank stare.

"Can we talk?" Eddie asked, his voice shaky.

"We are already talking more than I wanted, now move and leave me alone." The seriousness in her voice broke Eddie down a bit, but he knew he deserved it.

He nodded and walked off.

But he wasn't going to give up.

~

Y/N sat at their usual table, Eddie wasn't sure if he was welcome to sit or not. He took a deep breath and dropped his tray on the table. She looked up from her lunch and looked right back down.

Eddie coughed and picked at his tray. His eyes kept peeking up to look at her but her head was always down.

"I'm sorry for what I said," Eddie said but she didn't flinch. "It was wrong and you didn't deserve that."

Y/N let out a heavy sigh and stood up.

She looked Eddie straight in the eyes, he took a deep breath as he waited for her to speak.

But she didn't

She gathered her lunch and walked off.

~

Eddie tried to apologize every single day, he switched his words and tried to say what she needed to hear. A week of silence and he couldn't let it go further.

He knew what happened was because of his past trauma and he felt he needed to understand first. Maybe then he could give her an explanation. So, he began therapy.

Within a few appointments, he understood he pushed her away because he was in love with her.

~~~

Y/N finished writing in her journal when she heard a knock at her window. Her curtains were shut, so whoever knocked was a mystery. She slowly stood up and crept towards her window, she was a tad scared but figured a robber wouldn't be asking for entry.

She peeked through the tiny crack of her curtain and saw Eddie's familiar curls. He stood on the small balcony. She sighed and walked back to bed.

Eddie could see her shadow moving and frowned when her lap shut off. Her room was dark and he lost sight of her. But he would stay here all night if he needed to.

He knocked again and called her name, but no response.

Y/N groaned annoyed at the constant knocks, but still remained in bed.

"I'm sorry. I know I fucked up and I might not ever make this up to you. But I figured out why I reacted that way."

His words made Y/N's ears perk, and she sat up in bed.

"I pushed you away because people always left. The people that I cared for, the people I loved. When you kissed me, I loved it. I felt complete like that emptiness those people left was filled by you. So I panicked, I wanted to leave before you left me. Which was wrong. Because I shouldn't have turned on someone that I love."

Y/N gasped as the final words left his lips. She had to pick between her pride and her heart. And she wasn't positive which one led her in the right direction.

"Can I just see you?" his knock was lighter than the rest, and his voice sounded like he was on the cliff of giving up.

She got out of bed and walked to her window. She pulled back the curtain and opened her window. Eddie smiled as he saw her face.

"Hi," he whispered, afraid to speak louder and frighten her.

"Are you saying you are in love with me?"

"I'm trying to, yes. And I don't expect that to fi-"

Eddie was cut off as Y/N captured his lips in a kiss. Eddie didn't hesitate and kissed her back.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he leaned further in the window. Half his body leaned into her room as he chased her lips as she pulled away.

"It doesn't fix everything but I'm ready to forgive you and we'll fix it together." She said against his lips.

"Thank you," he whispered before he connected their lips again.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt

[musicalmoritz]

this gonna be a weird question but ever since i have know Aoinene. I have always found a consistent theme of Aoi being a lesbian. While it cool, interesting and all, it hard to found anything canonically to use to prove the interpretation beyond "it just a vibe" . It doesnt interfer with the shipping experience but it still an interesting HC that i would love to found some canon material to build on.

I’m so glad you asked this, I’ve been trying to find a way to talk about my feelings on the lesbian Aoi headcanon for a while now. I’ve written it in my own fics a lot but I have some issues with the way people treat it so I’d like to make this a more nuanced discussion

First off, where does it come from? To answer that question you have to keep in mind that as the manga chapters were being released, fans had no idea where AidaIro planned to go with Aoi and Akane’s relationship beyond what they could infer. While it seems obvious in hindsight that Aoi always liked Akane, a lot of lesbian readers overlooked those hints because they were able to relate to being pursued by a relentless man that they didn’t want. They found comfort in Aoi’s character because her perceived disinterest in Akane was something they could connect to their own experiences with their male best friends falling for them

Then we have this scene, which is a whole rollercoaster in and of itself. At this point in the manga, fans didn’t know Aoi was faking her personality. She only existed as Nene’s popular best friend, the girl with the rumors. And, of course, the girl who kept rejecting Akane. Aoi and Nene seemed to have a very close friendship, so when this scene came out, many readers jumped to the conclusion that Aoi planned to confess to Nene. This, coupled with her constant rejection of Akane, led many fans to believe Aoi was a lesbian. Not just as a cool headcanon, but as an actual theory. To this day some fans still call her queercoded, and that’s where I have a bit of an issue with the headcanon

Because, despite all of this, Aoi isn’t a lesbian in canon. She’s not even coded to be one. In fact her and Akane’s characters aren’t able to develop without each other. Some fans chalk this up to bad writing or lesbiphobia, stating that Aoi never showed interest in Akane up until chapter 69, but this simply isn’t true. There were numerous hints that Aoi liked Akane back, since his feelings for her were first introduced. She’s shown to be absolutely devastated at the possibility of him dating someone else, and in the Clock Keepers arc we see that she’s been encouraging his pursuit of her this whole time. Fans may not like them, but it’s impossible to deny they’ve been set up since the beginning of the manga- on both sides

However, if you were to call Aoi sapphic coded/bi coded in canon, you wouldn’t be far off. In the Hanako-Kun Of Magic au, Mei fell in love with Aoi through a spell. After the spell wore off, they were confirmed to still hang out. They hang out so frequently, that it makes Mei’s little sister jealous because Aoi is stealing all her attention

It wouldn’t be a reach to assume they’re dating in this au, which would make Aoi bi or bi-coded in canon (though it’s very up to interpretation so I wouldn’t say she’s as strongly bi-coded as Kou or even Nene). It rubs me the wrong way when people discuss her potential queercoding and entirely ignore her feelings for Akane just because they don’t like the ship, it feels biphobic. It’s also been implied that Aoi has liked men (or people in general) other than Akane, he joins school clubs based on whoever her current type is

Canon aside though, I’d like to talk about why people like the lesbian Aoi headcanon. Namely, why I still like it in fanon despite feeling that it has a very weak basis in canon. Because for some fans, Aoi’s true personality reveal only made their love of the lesbian Aoi headcanon stronger

Remember how I said fans overlooked Aoi’s feelings for Akane because they projected onto her? I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with that as long as they aren’t bringing their bias into analyses. I’ve read many Aoi queercoding analyses where the creator completely ignores Aoi’s attraction to men in canon due to their own projection, and I hate to say it but that is a bad way to analyze. I’ve mentioned before that I strongly relate to Nene’s shallow crushes on men because they remind me of my own experiences with comphet, but I would never call Nene lesbian coded because that would ignore her entire arc with Hanako. Project onto characters all you want but leave that out of your analyses

Anyways, the reveal that Aoi had been faking her personality only gave the lesbian Aoi headcanon more fuel. At this point in the manga, fans were already fully convinced that Aoi was a lesbian…so to find out the pretty popular girl was hiding her true self from the world?? I mean that sounds queercoded as hell. And I won’t lie, I relate to that a lot too. The need to hide who you really are is a nearly universal queer experience, so pretty much any character that has that storyline is going to hit home for a lot of queer readers. That same trope also plays into Mitsuba’s queercoding, so yeah. Despite all the romance stuff with Akane that happened in those chapters, the big takeaway for lesbian Aoi truthers was that Aoi had been hiding a part of herself that the world would shame her for

This is furthered by her relationship with femininity. Aoi plays the role of the ideal popular girl, a common archetype in media. These girls are feminine, passive, kind, humble, and all the boys love them. That is the image Aoi presents to the rest of the school. However, the real Aoi is nothing like that. I wouldn’t go as far as to call her masculine, but she doesn’t act like the poster child for femininity when she’s being her true self. She’s bitter, arrogant, spiteful, and she only really cares about two people. Lesbians tend to have a very complicated relationship with femininity, because heteronormativity asserts that the defining trait of being a woman is your relationship to a man. As a woman, you are someone’s wife, daughter, mother, sister. So when a woman has no interest in men, she loses a core part of her “femininity.” Some lesbians choose to embrace this, they have no interest in femininity so they perform whatever gender presentation they want. Other lesbians reclaim femininity as something defined by themselves, not society. So when lesbians see a character faking her personality to conform to the societal expectations for her gender…oops she’s one of us now lol. This is also why the transmasc Aoi headcanon is popular, though I won’t be getting into that today

There are more simplistic reasons people like the lesbian Aoi headcanon. It fits a trope, the popular girl who’s pressured to be perfect is secretly a lesbian. Then she falls for her fun and quirky bisexual best friend. Unfortunately this is where the headcanon gets very boiled down, people want Aoi to be something that she’s not in canon. They want her to be a trope rather than her own, unique character. The aesthetic girlboss lesbian. She hates Akane and has a huge crush on Nene, maybe some mommy issues and that’s all there is to her. I don’t like these type of headcanons very much, they reduce queerness to an aesthetic rather than an experience. As I mentioned, the lesbian Aoi headcanon does have potential for fanon content, but some fans sadly reduce it to a stereotype

I’ve written both bisexual and lesbian Aoi, and I think they both have their perks. Lesbian Aoi requires a bit of stretching/rewriting of canon, which can be fun but it has to be handled very carefully. Otherwise you get fics that villainize Akane and ignore Aoi and Nene’s complexities. It’s perfectly fine to project onto a character and headcanon them a certain way for comfort, but in terms of characterization I would recommend people try to look past those biases when they’re writing analyses. Fanfic is a bit different bcuz that depends on whether or not you’re trying to stay in character lol, this might be controversial but some writers just don’t care and that’s fine too. They’re just writing it for fun, it doesn’t have to be that serious. Still, I would like to see more fics that keep Aoi and Nene closer to canon (they absolutely exist dw)

The reason I hesitated for so long to address this headcanon is because I wanted to find a way to talk about it sensitively. Queer fans, especially lesbians, already get a lot of flack for their headcanons and I didn’t want to make it seem like I was invalidating anyone’s experiences. If the lesbian Aoi headcanon brings you comfort then, yes, Aoi can absolutely be a lesbian. Fandom is about fan enjoyment, not authorial intent, so headcanon the characters however you want. Just don’t push those headcanons into others, and try to at least be aware of what’s going on in canon. And again, don’t write an analysis if you’re going to be biased. A better way to do it would be something like “I recognize that AidaIro didn’t go this route but it would’ve been interesting if they made Aoi a lesbian.” An analysis like that might have some weight to it!! Aoi and Akane are a super cute ship, but another straight relationship is nothing revolutionary in fiction. However, canon lesbians in a shonen series?? That’s something you don’t see every day. People have valid reasons for wishing Aoi had been written differently, I just wish they would accept that she didn’t get written that way rather than ignoring canon

Sorry if this isn’t what you were expecting, I hope I explained all sides of the headcanon well enough. Tbh a lot of it is just “vibes” but once you look past the surface, it goes a lot deeper. I also want to clarify that Aoi faking her personality reading as queercoding could absolutely work with her being bi too, bisexuals also have to hide a part of themselves and that’s something other lgbtq+ individuals often overlook. The reason it reads specifically as lesbian coding to some fans is because of her projection of femininity being fake so, by extension, her encouragement of the men who pursue her must be too. That’s obviously not canon but some fans believe it would’ve been a cool route to go. Okay that’s it I think I covered everything lol

Thanks again for the ask, I’m glad I finally got the opportunity to talk abt this <3

[foone]

The Four Candles

I got kicked out of the SCP foundation after wasting over 80 million dollars to contain an artifact that I genuinely thought was incredibly dangerous. It was a set of candles in a gold frame, which never burnt down and could not be extinguished. Just weird, right?

(reposting of a formerly-twitter thread where I made up an SCP fanfic joke, under the readmore)

That's what we all thought and it was simply kept in a safety glass box in one of the many warehouses of weird things, until The First Event. January, 1981, it's being moved as part of a cleanup and someone notices its changed: one of the candles is out.

We'd previously tried sticking this thing in a vacuum, under water, smothering it in CO2 or in a pile of asbestos… Nothing. You can't snuff out these candles. And one just went off while no one is looking? That can't be good.

So obviously we have to upgrade this thing in severity. Out of the warehouse, into a separate containment area, and we do endless tests. Nope, we can't relight it. We tried.

But now we've got 24/7 redundant monitoring, cameras and guards, we've got water and fire and everything else on hand in case another event happens and we need to try to douse or relight it in a hurry.

And we wait. Endless beta tapes (and later, hard drives) are filled up with footage of these candles burning unchangingly. Guards get assigned to watch it and then retire a decade later, having never seen it change.

But 20 years into observation, a second candle just goes out, without any fuss. We hit every panic button we can find.

Endless studies are done. This thing was found in a ruin in North West England? Send every researcher we can spare there. Are there any legends or folklore or stories or ANYTHING about this?

Because it took 20 years to go from 3 to 2. We can do math. If this thing is counting down at a steady pace, we have only 40 years to get ready for the last candle to go out.

And we don't know what happens then.

Maybe nothing.

Or maybe there will be nothing left.

We work backwards; we only found the candles in the 70s, but if it goes down by a candle every two decades, then maybe it was created in the early 60s? We search for any clues about what might have happened in the 1960s in Manchester and Liverpool.

I'm on the ground with another field researcher when I get a message that we're all being recalled, immediately. No explanation.

I get back to the foundation site and all my researchers are being reassigned. My boss wants to talk to me. I check the candle monitoring site on my phone: we're still on two. I'm confused.

I enter my boss's office. It's uncharacteristically dark. She slides me a printout, on fan fold paper still with the little dot matrix tractor holes along the sides. It's an email.

Another researcher had a random hunch, and looked into the monitoring records, specifically as to when the second candle went out. November 29th, 2001. And the previous one was unknown, but happened sometime between December 1st, 1980 and mid-January 1981.

My boss asks if these dates look familiar to me, and if I listen to much music.

I think I may know. She tells me they were able to confirm the second event happened within 5 minutes of the time of death.

The candles are going back in the warehouse, and only a simple webcam will be used to monitor for the next event, just in case it proves us wrong.

And she gives me a lecture about how the purpose of the SCP Foundation is to secure, contain, and protect... From dangerous anomalous artifacts and people and places. Things that break all our scientific theories and could cause untold devastation if they get loose...

NOT A MAGIC CANDLE THAT TELLS YOU HOW MANY LIVING BEATLES THERE ARE IN THE WORLD AT THE MOMENT.

[hetaologist]

Waking Up in Las Vegas Pt. 2 (APH America x Fem! Reader)

Rating: SFW /Click Here For Pt.1

"Oh yes, the infamous LA highspeed chase..." You think back to one of the crimes you framed America for.

"So sweetheart, what's your evidence?~" America teases you as he wipes his greasy face with a napkin.

You get taken aback by his cocky attitude but still kept your cool. "Hmph, 'sweetheart'...don't think I'm gonna be so sweet with you, that's for sure."

"That still doesn't answer my question." He leans forward towards you, resting his head on his hand.

"Right. But, I know this for a fact..." You said with confidence. "You are a 'car man', America."

America chuckles at your statement. "Ahh~, you're right about that. I do love me some hot rods. So?"

"Interesting...well I must say, you have quite the collection..."

"Hehe, I guess you could say that. Still, what does my personal collection have to do with the highspeed chase?"

You take a deep breath as you get yourself ready to pull out the 'big guns'. "Let me say this, you have quite the huge collection of cars."

"Hmm...what do you mean by that?" America leans back in his seat once more and started to get curious with your 'evidence'.

"Mr. America, is it true that you have a car in each state?" You look deep in his eyes, trying to sweat him out.

America shows a flicker of tension in his eyes. "Interesting statement. Where did you get it from?"

"Oh, I have my ways~." You chirped, seeing that you were finally getting the upper hand. "I know that you love cars so much, you have one in each state."

America's disgruntled face relaxes and he laughs to himself. "You know, you can keep playing bluff all you want. That still doesn't prove anything. If you're really that smart, then tell me..." He gets up from his chair, places his hands on the table and puts his face right up to yours, "...what's my California vehicle?"

That's when you start to get nervous again. You had no hard evidence of the type of car he drives, since no one knows. America keeps his car collection private from the public. There's been theories, but all of them turned out false.

"Why...the red 2012 Ferrari f40, of course." You guessed.

America's grin grew big and wide. "Wrong, sweetheart. That's just the car from the video and I don't own it~. You can keep on guessing, but face it. You got nothing me!" America takes another sip of his milkshake.

"It wasn't a guess, I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't you. If you're not the Ferrari driver, then you were the one in the ice blue 2018 Ford Mustang." You said while folding your arms.

America chokes on his milkshake, causing him to cough violently. "HOW?!"

"I didn't, you just told me with your reaction..." You said with a smirk.

"Goddamn...reporters..." He coughs into his arm. "WELL, I guess now you know about my Ford Mustang. Still, how did you learn about that?"

"I did my research you know, I'm a reporter after all. There's tons of blogs and articles of people trying to uncover your car collection. There's a leaked photo of supposedly you coming out of your Mustang and entering a San Francisco 7/11 gas station at 2 am."

America grumbles at your statement. "I was hungry and I wanted a Slurpee, some nachos and pizza...." He huffs and folds his arms.

"And a cheesy corn dog, hot chips, peach rings and beef jerky..." You said before sipping on your drink.

"HEY! You damn stalker!" He growls.

"Ironic... so you were the one that started the highspeed chase then. You were street racing that Ferrari and he was the one that got chased down by the law and the media, while you escaped without a trace. Like to play dirty, don't you?"

"Hmph..." America was starting to get annoyed and flustered.

"Since we can both agree that the ice blue Mustang was yours and you were a part of that fiasco, now we can get down to business..."

[melancholycatastrophe]

Jotting down some thoughts about Only Friends Episode 4:

spoilers, obviously

That first scene with Ray broke me, that feeling of worthlessness and how everyone must hate you hit a little too hard for me

I was right thinking that Ray is closer to Mew than the others (and maybe vice versa), possibly because Mew is his emergency contact and saved him when he was feeling suicidal; which reminds me of when Ray told Sand that it was his turn to save him after Sand took care of him while he was drunk

That one person's theory that Ray is using Sand as an emotional replacement for Mew, who he already holds on a pedestal and probably is attached to Mew more than he likes Mew, is probably true. Idk I'm not really analyzing but I genuinely feel that Ray uses people as an emotional crutch in order to get things from them that he never got from his own mom - love, compassion, someone to hold

Cheum is so me: "Ray, if I wasn't a lesbian I would love you"

Side note: I love scenes where all four of them are together and doing friend stuff even though they're all backstabbing each other (except Cheum, bless her)

The fact that Boston saw his two close friends kiss and recorded it, kept it for two years without saying anything is so???????? I want to crack open his head and figure out whats wrong with him

Ray saying Sand is not his type after he had his tongue down his throat not 30 minutes ago is??????????

Ray still being in love with Mew is so sad especially when Mew clearly only sees him as a friend (He's gotta be on the ace-aro spectrum is2g Mew is demisexual and probably aroflux or something along that line. Trust me, I'm also ace(-probably aro) and he's just like me)

Mew laying clear boundaries with others is hot. Actually, yes, kissing someone who is asleep without their consent is weird and you shouldn't do it, this isn't a kdrama Ray, you can't get away with it

I can't wait for Nick to rock Boston's shit I'll be honest, I really want him to try and blackmail Boston into a relationship, they can be red flag4red flag

Top really has the AUDACITY to call Mew his future boyfriend as if he didn't fuck Boston like he had something to prove just the other day, all men do is lie

That airplane with a B on it....the photobooth at the hotel.....Top I was really rooting for you but you're getting on my last nerve...

Ray is the kinda guy that doesn't know what the price of eggs are

"I do want money but friendship and love can't be bought" Sand I literally can't relate, would love someone to buy me things in exchange for my friendship

Raysand is so cute at the guitar shop I just know Ray is gonna leave Sand broken hearted, there's no way Sand is getting out of this unscathed

Ray is so lovely when he apologizes and looks up with those puppy dog eyes I would forgive him too, its okay Sand

Sand loves arctic monkeys and oasis 😭 move over Ray, I can treat him better

Every time Boston is in the same frame as Top, I let out the biggest sigh; I love Ton, I won't lie, but God I need him to leave topmew alone (on the other hand, I wanna see Mew rock both Top and Boston's shit)

I love that scene in the elevator when Top was reading Ton to filth but couldn't he had done it before he had sex with him???? Like Book, I too will bring up that car scene every single time

God I don't trust Top

Out of context BostonNick is really cute, I wanna see Neo and Mark together in another series where they get play boyfriends

also Nick relistens to that damn audio more times than I rewatch episode 12 of Mignon

Nick trying to blackmail Top instead of telling Mew is such a choice. "Can you stay away from Boston?" bruh he's trying to, Boston is the one that appears out of nowhere like that one mosquito

"Top stole my ex" OH MY GOD OHHHHH MY GOD I KNEW IT BUT IT STILL TOOK ME BY SURPRISE

Book is so fine, idk something about the glasses gets me in every scene he's in

unrequited love for your best friend is so rough, I feel for you Ray (but he has a point. Mew, do you really want Top as your boyfriend?)

"Who punched you? I want to give them a trophy?" You can suck his dick too, Ray, since it's Sand

For a second I forgot who Beam was 😭 I was so focused on Boston and Top that I forgot Top slept with the entire young adult male population of Thailand

"Beam is a drug dealer" hOW IS THAT ANY BETTER?????

"Are you okay with that?" WHY WOULD HE BE OKAY WITH HIS POTENTIAL BOYFRIEND DOING COCAINE?????

why do I have the oddest feeling that Mew has some kind of background with dealing with addicts cuz that "quit drugs" speech was a little too impassioned. like a previous family member or someone was an addict and now he no longer wants to take care of people who are addicts because of how emotionally exhausting it is. maybe this theory is coming out of my ass but it might explain why he keeps Ray strictly as a friend (since not only is he an alcohol addict he also does cocaine???? boy are you trying to kill yourself?) and he gets mad at top for also doing drugs

i thought mew would use sex as a way to prove that he and ray were strictly friends, not as a reward to get top to stop doing drugs. i'm so flabbergasted and also top is kinda weird for wanting sex as a reward for taking care of himself but whatever

now I'm distracted at the fact that Top brought a packet of cocaine with him to Mew's place like??? was he planning to sniff a line while Mew was sleeping or...?

Man I was wrong about that airplane....but my point still stands

out of context topmew is cute

ray just wants to feel important to someone but now that mew has top, he's gonna cling to sand....i'm sad i just want ray to love and be loved

sharing music is a love language

the next episode looks too happy, i dont trust it

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Do you recommend any jikook blogs? Maybe someone who doesn’t write books trying to prove they are a couple and calls non-believers homophobic

Someone chill who simply likes to talk about them

This is a loaded question, anon. You know it. I feel like I'm about to open Pandora's box. I'll try and be as fair and diplomatic as possible.

The benefits of free speech and having a platform to express our opinions is something that should be cherished. The more diverse the community is, the better. It means there's a wide sprectrum of thought, less chances of having a cult mentality and so on. This is an ideal situation and far from reality. And to talk more specifically about jikook bloggers here, you'd only have had to scroll through the tag in the last year or so to see cliques and conflicts all over the place. It's not uncommon and watching it from the side, reading all the arguments painted a dark picture but quite realistic. There's a need for conformism. It doesn't matter if one runs away from it, at some point or another, it reaches that same conclusion.

I'm someone who always stood outside, looking in in the context of this community here. I'd tag my posts from time to time, but I kept my independence. Mostly because I didn't have a jikook-focused blog, nor will I, despite me talking more freely now about the topic.

People's blogs are a reflection of themselves, of their affinities and also their abilities. Each of us likes one or another, depending on what we're looking for. We also tend to judge people for what and how they express their opinions. It's not unusual. We're a judgy species, despite sometimes trying really hard to appear the opposite of it.

Some bloggers have as a purpose demonstrating the relationship is real and that is their entire focus. Others like to write a long summary of events or basically transcribe into text what they see in video format (a succesful formula here on tumblr from what I could tell). Some people can come up with really good arguments against ridiculous statements. And sometimes they get lost in the argument because it's unstructured in some almost 300-400 word answer. All of it gets repetitive too. I've seen fun bloggers with a good sense of humor and some big dosage of delusion. Hey, sometimes we can and should be clowns. But not to the point of absurdity.

The fact that all of that exists is in theory a good thing. But a lot of those blogs are also becoming platforms built on allowing space for weirdos to set up camp in the community. From taekookers and crazy solo stans. I understand the need of having a good comeback and tearing apart their asks, but as much as that brings temporary satisfaction, on the long run it ruins the entire vibe. For a long time, that's all I could read about each time I would check the tag. It was infested and instead of fighting against it, it only grew bigger and bigger because those anons got the validation simply by being aknowledged.

You're asking for chill blogs. I think that's a rare occurence now and not really the current phase of jikook blogging. Maybe I'm wrong and I don't know the community well enough, I admit that's a possibility. I do remember a time when it used to be like that. Back when writing about jikook was sometimes combined with a pop culture perspective. Looking at it through a variety of lenses. That made me as a reader definitely interested. That was fun blogging. Now it's all way too serious or honestly? Boring. At least in terms of writing. That's one aspect that holds quite an importance for me. I still check the majority of active blogs, whether I'm a fan or not. I like to be informed, but that's it.

I'm not sure I can answer your question though. I don't see tumblr as the platform for what you want. There's higher chances of finding that on twitter. Sometimes I find accounts with no mentions of any drama, just fun, adult posting.

But I am going to mention two blogs though. Simply because they caught my attention. It's not about me considering them better, but in the current landscape, I found myself enjoying scrolling through them. Minggukieology provides some great cultural context and translation and I'd say it's in the same category as Dalloga. There's also ggulmul. I could be mistaken, but I think it's a more recent blog. I liked the attitude displayed in the blogger's answers. There was a sort of elegance in the way they responded and the appearance at least of a lack of chronic online presence. It's usually evident in the way a person expresses their thoughts.

All of what I wrote is based on mostly what is evident from the blogs which utilize the jikook tag. Others daily while some do it rarely, but are still known presences in the community. There's also a few who do not do that so who knows what is out there?

As a last thought, sometimes I would find myself scrolling through a random blog that had some kpop posting, but it wasn't fandom or ship focused. And from time to time, they would reblog a gifset or a jikook photo and they would put their thoughts into the tag. No agenda, no need to demonstrate or disprove anything. Sometimes small stuff like "boyfriend behavior" or "the gays are at it again", etc., in typical tumblr language. And then they'd move on and have like 5-10 reblogs about some archeological site or some historical event. Whatever. It was casual. I always wanted that vibe. Being outside of fandom discourse allows some type of freedom in which no one comes and harasses you in the inbox because you don't agree with a theory.

[naughtnorris]

Watch Me

 It's been over two years since I've used this app. I gained so much weight it is actually sickening. I mean that in the way that even normal people look at me like I'm a whale. (which in fact I am) At my highest I was teetering on 280 *throws up from the shame of admitting that*. In the past few years I have lost both of my parents and countless loved ones. I used that as an excuse to binge, a lot. It's humiliating that I have let myself get this far out of control. My sister is thrilled that I am like this. I know she gets enjoyment from every pound I gain.

I have been slowly thinking about gaining control over myself in the way I know best. Restricting food. In the past few weeks I had done multiple twenty four hour fasts with regular days of eating in between. That quickly became like second nature to me again. The little voice in the back of my mind was gaining his voice back. (Yes it’s a he, I can’t tell you why). As anyone knows once you develop that little sucker it never leaves. Even at my worst binge-fest the voice still kept me company. Nagging me. Always there to remind me how absolutely disgusting I am.  

A few days ago I had come home on my lunch break to make a new thermos of tea. My sister Lou brought up my disordered eating past. I swear she is like a hound dog. She can sniff out my disordered thoughts from a mile away. She talked about how fucked up I USED to be, how gross my ED WAS, and brought up my OLD habits. I laughed and agreed as if I wasn’t in an active relapse. For a moment I felt ashamed. Lou is the only family I have left. I hate to disappoint her. So I took out a packet of tuna and made myself a wrap.

I like to think of myself as someone who holds much candor. I won’t lie by way of omission. Quickly and light heartedly I told her “up until five minutes ago I wasn’t planning on eating for three days.” I wasn’t looking for much in the way of encouragement from her. I was already twenty eight hours in. Just recognition that I had made a better choice would have been enough. Since she was always encouraging me to not be such a fuck up. She chuckled “not that you could” I froze mid chew. There was this great pit forming in the base of my stomach. “What?” was all I could manage to get out. “You’d just end up at McDonalds.” My eyebrows raised as if to say ‘What the fuck was that about’. 

I knew she remembered how I used to go a week without food, no problem. Was that what she really thought? Was she just trying to hurt me? Or did she really, truly believe that I could no longer restrict myself? That voice that usually mutters in the back of my mind was now loud and clear as day. “You’ve let her forget! That’s your fault! Show her what fasting looks like! Remind her what you are capable of doing! No more sneaking, hiding or lying to protect her emotions. She thinks you don’t have it in you anymore. Prove. Her. Wrong. Show her what is possible!”

 “That’s one theory.”  I voiced quietly while turning away. “What does that mean?” Lou said back in this degrading tone. “Just if you think that three days without food is hard then you obviously haven't gotten to five days. Imagine, you wake up and grab a cold glass of water. Lou you can feel that water making it’s way down your throat and feel as it hits your stomach. It. Is. Invigorating!” I wanted to gross her out and it had worked like a charm. Her face contorted into disgust. “That’s fucked up!” ��Maybe.” I said before finishing the last bit of food I’d have for a few days. All I could think was ‘Watch Me’

[ukegenius]

this turned into a yap sesh im sorry also disclaimer i dont have npd ( i have narcissistic traits but i dont think i have the disorder 😭 ) this is all ramblings of someone who does research into cluster b disorders for fun and to educate myself ( i hateee demonization of these disorders as someonewith a cluster b disorder ) BUT to the npders in the crowd pleaseee let me know if i got anything wrong i wanna educate myself

i will elaborate on this just a tad not only because somebody asked but i wanna let the people know i dont headcanon Ford as having NPD as a way to demonize him but genuinely because i personally think he shows traits of NPD

its hard for me to.collect my thoughts so if this becomes a yapping sesh mb but i know what im trying to say so please work with me

but i personally headcanon him as having NPD because if you look into the deeper and more psychological/inward symptoms of npd ( the insecurity , paranoia the fear of being vunerable , feelings misunderstood, need to be the best , sensitvity to criticism ) i think Ford shows those in his character

Ford wants to be seen as important because of the fact he is insecure and i am assuming aswell because of his upbringing and his father ( Filbrick ill get you ) and if i remember correctly in a interview alex did say that Ford does believe there are "special" people and only they can understand his uniqueness which im pretty sure is a symptom/result of npd ( or narcissism in general ) he views himself as special and constantly thinks about how he can succeed ( i think him being bitter over west coast tech and wanting to do his grand theory of weirdness or whatever the fuck shows rhat ) but he ALSO does show signs of him being pretty insecure and craving attention or admiration from other people ( or maybe dream demons ) to cover up his feelings of insecurity and feeling like a "freak" all his life

im literally unsure if ANY of what i said will make sense to the average human who doesnt have a melted brain but all in all or a tldr of sorts

i headcanon Ford to have NPD not because hes "oh mean asshole whos manipulative and a terrible human" i headcanon him as having NPD because of the fact he is insecure and combats those insecurities by believing he is better than others and him having those beliefs and traits have ( to my understanding of his character so far i wanna pick him apart more ) persisted through most if not all of his life and ALSO because of those insecurities and those traits he seeks admiration and attention from others to prove that he is worth something

and i also headcanon him as having bpd as kinda projection ( i have bpd hello ) and autism is also projection ( also autistic hello x2 ) most of my headcanons for Ford come with a little bit of projection because i see myself in his character ( 17 year old becomes emotionally attached to 60+ year old fictional character and pays the price ) so if i headcanon any character as something it is always with love and care and heavy research into it ( psychology special interest )

i will be adding to this maybe down the line because my mind is so jumbled all the time but i headcanon him as having NPD because of the deeper feelings of insecurity and low self esteem that is accompanied with NPD i believe he does all of the things he does so other people wont percieve him as a failure because he himself thinks he is a failure ( i believe he thinks this because of the fact that he kept pushing to find all the research he could on the weirdness of gravity falls not only because he didnt want people to take *his* accomplishment but also because he didnt want to be perceived as the person who failed and gave up on finding everything )

the pines family are all autistic but stan and ford have something else special called "cluster b personality disorders"

[kafkaoftherubble]

那数学民调让我忆起了小学的事

I actually heavily favor statistics (because of its sheer range and usage across different fields. It also complements other important 21st-century skills like critical thinking and media literacy). But out of all the math stuff in this list, I'm only genuinely best at set theory.

Honestly, my License-to-be-Chinese card is often at risk of being revoked (according to my Supa Chinaman Dad) because one of the Chinese benchmarks we consistently failed to meet is "be good at math," so I'm sure we only excelled in set theory because it's easy.

I couldn't even do arithmetics well enough when I was a kid, haha! Which especially obfuscated the hell out of that prodigy kid sitting in front of me, but then again this little shit could perform multiplication and division at 4 years old and was learning calculus at 9.

I really appreciated him trying his damnest to help me learn math, though. It's extra hard to teach others when you're that naturally gifted. And he's a 9-year-old boy (with the patience and self-control of that age) who simultaneously felt superior because everyone, including the teachers, was too slow so he relished in being the Know-It-All-Proving-Everyone-Wrong... and felt inferior because everyone saw him as a trouble-making, socially-idiotic freak and ostracized him. That's a lotta baggage for a kid, and he still tried to be my math tutor. Bold-italic-underlined "tried." I think I fried his brain with troll logic instead.

I wonder how he's doing now? He transferred out of our school probably because the isolation—both from classmates AND teachers who are either sick of his shit or find him way beyond their capabilities to teach—had gotten too bad...

Punishment by lashes (several rattan sticks, bound with elastic bands, was still common) was still bog-standard at school back then. There had been at least two incidents when my stressed-out teacher hulked out at the boy's antics and lashed at him hard enough to draw actual blood.

In one of those incidents, the teacher chase him around with a rattan stick. Most of us would never run when we had to be punished; we gritted our teeth and braced for the pain. Running risked making the teachers even more mad, and the lashes even more painful. But he was so scared of pain and so bad at following the norm that he couldn't help but run every time.

And you could always tell how everyone felt about him by how much aid they were willing to give him. Since he would weave in and out erratically within our classroom—cutting from behind our chairs and in front of our desks, to throw off our teacher—those who really disliked him, or thought he deserved to be punished, would deliberately close off the gaps between their chairs and other people's tables so he had fewer routes to run.

Those who were either neutral or didn't like him, but also too empathetic to withstand the sound of rattan lashes, would only frown or tell him to stop running without obstructing his paths. The guy I had a crush on did that, I remember.

Finally, those who pitied him were either the guys who had been punished enough to know it hurts and just wanted to save him from that regardless of their personal feelings, or... me. We would let him through behind our chairs and then deliberately block the teacher from squeezing in after he passed.

I don't know why I helped him. It's not because of the math lessons; I was certainly not getting any better at that, and he kept saying I was a hopeless case despite trying again and again to teach.

Maybe it's because we found him interesting, but then again, we find everyone interesting. Maybe it was because we found him more interesting than most people? Maybe Fionn, that softie and his compassionate ass, couldn't bear it and made me do it? Maybe it was because we are told to see teachers as the top in the hierarchy based on merits—like life experience and wisdom and knowledge and maturity and all that—and yet at that moment all I saw was a bigger kid mad-chasing a smaller kid, and I couldn't help but think it wasn't skillful nor creative nor cool nor wise nor fair nor justified, and that made us want to rebel? Maybe it's because he was crying?

In the end, the teacher caught up to him. She was so apoplectic by that point that she lashed too hard. It caused a gash across his arm. We were all horrified, but none more so than both the teacher herself and the boy. His injury was addressed in the teacher's office by the teacher herself and the class monitor. I don't remember if he returned to class or went home straight away.

I still remember his mom showing up at school and telling us the news that his son would be transferring to this well-known school for gifted children (at least, that's its reputation). His son was already absent by then, and I couldn't believe when the class cheered. The mom sniffled and thanked us for letting her sons (he had a conventionally smart and a lot more well-adjusted twin brother in the same class) be one of us for a while. But the class just cheered.

Hmm... He was really, really good at math. So now sometimes math makes me think of him.

I wonder what he's doing now?

... Or maybe I'm good at set theory because sKanDha meAns aGgrEgaTes ahahahhahaha

[diilchasp]

Life on Mars

Tracy K. Smith

1.

Tina says what if dark matter is like the space between people

When what holds them together isn’t exactly love, and I think

That sounds right—how strong the pull can be, as if something

That knows better won’t let you drift apart so easily, and how

Small and heavy you feel, stuck there spinning in place.

Anita feels it now as a tug toward the phone, though she knows

The ear at the other end isn’t there anymore. She’ll beat her head

Against the rungs of her room till it splits, and the static that seeps out

Will lull her to sleep, where she’ll dream of him walking just ahead

Beside a woman whose mouth spills O after O of operatic laughter.

But Tina isn’t talking about men and women, what starts in our bodies

And then pushes out toward anywhere once the joy of it disappears.

She means families. How two sisters, say, can stop knowing one another,

Stop hearing the same language, scalding themselves on something

Every time they try to touch. What lives beside us passing for air?

2.

Last year, there was a father in the news who kept his daughter

Locked in a cell for decades. She lived right under his feet,

Cooking food, watching TV. The same pipes threading through his life

Led in and out of hers. Every year the footsteps downstairs multiplied.

Babies wailing through the night. Kids screaming to be let outside.

Every day, the man crept down into that room, bringing food,

Lying down with the daughter, who had no choice. Like a god

Moving through a world where every face looked furtively into his,

Then turned away. They cursed him to his back. He didn’t hear.

They begged him for air, and all he saw were bodies on their knees.

How close that room. What heat. And his wife upstairs, hearing

Their clamor underfoot, thinking the house must just be

Settling into itself with age.

3.

Tina says dark matter is just a theory. Something

We know is there, but can’t completely prove.

We move through it, bound, sensing it snatch up

What we mean to say and turn it over in its hands

Like glass sifted from the sea. It walks the shore,

Watching that refracted light dance back and forth

Before tossing whatever it was back to the surf.

4.

How else could we get things so wrong,

Like a story hacked to bits and told in reverse?—

5.

He grabbed my blouse at the neck.

All I thought was This is my very best

And he will ruin it. Wind, dirt, his hands

Hard on me. I heard the others

Jostling to watch as they waited

For their turns.

They were not glad to do it,

But they were eager.

They all wanted to, and fought

About who would go first.

We went to the cart

Where others sat waiting.

They laughed and it sounded

Like the black clouds that explode

Over the desert at night.

I knew which direction to go

From the stench of what still burned.

It was funny to see my house

Like that—as if the roof

Had been lifted up and carried off

By someone playing at dolls.

6.

Who understands the world, and when

Will he make it make sense? Or she?

Maybe there is a pair of them, and they sit

Watching the cream disperse into their coffee

Like the A-bomb. This equals that, one says,

Arranging a swarm of coordinates

On a giant grid. They exchange smiles.

It’s so simple, they’ll be done by lunchtime,

Will have the whole afternoon to spend naming

The spaces between spaces, which their eyes

Have been trained to distinguish. Nothing

Eludes them. And when the nothing that is

Something creeps toward them, wanting

To be felt, they feel it. Then they jot down

Equation after equation, smiling to one another

Lips sealed tight.

7.

Some of the prisoners were strung like beef

From the ceilings of their cells. “Gus”

Was led around on a leash. I mean dragged.

Others were ridden like mules. The guards

Were under a tremendous amount of pleasure.

I mean pressure. Pretty disgusting. Not

What you’d expect from Americans.

Just kidding. I’m only talking about people

Having a good time, blowing off steam.

8.

The earth beneath us. The earth

Around and above. The earth

Pushing up against our houses,

Complicit with gravity. The earth

Ageless watching us rise and curl.

Our spades, our oxen, the jagged lines

We carve into dirt. The earth

Nicked and sliced into territory.

Hacked and hollowed. Stoppered tight.

Tripwire. The earth ticking with mines,

Patient, biding its time. The earth

Floating in darkness, suspended in spin.

The earth gunning it around the sun.

The earth we ride in disbelief.

The earth we plunder like thieves.

The earth caked to mud in the belly

Of a village with no food. Burying us.

The earth coming off on our shoes.

9.

Tina says we do it to one another, every day,

Knowing and not knowing. When it is love,

What happens feels like dumb luck. When it’s not,

We’re riddled with bullets, shot through like ducks.

Every day. To ourselves and one another. And what

If what it is, and what sends it, has nothing to do

With what we can’t see? Nothing whatsoever

To do with a power other than muscle, will, sheer fright? 

[adelheidvonschicksal]

I could do a scenario where reader loves to mess with megumi's hair, but suddenly she stops because she thinks she's bothering him.

The first time you notice how soft his hair is was when you were returning to school after a long mission.

You were riding in a car with the entire first-year gang. Nobara sat in the front seat next to Ijichi while you were placed in the back between Yuji and Megumi. The ride back was a long one. After an exhausting day of exorcising curses, you were all tired. Nobara and Yuji ended up falling asleep minutes into the ride, leaving Megumi to watch the sights passing through the window and you shyly trying to make conversation with him.

It's hard considering the strong crush you have on your fellow classmate. He was intelligent, kinder than he really let on, and fairly mature (at least compared to the people you’re usually around). His good looks were the cherry on top of the entire package. Everyone knew Megumi was a pretty boy and often teased him about it. He had fair skin, long, thick eyelashes, and your favorite being his dark hair. It looked so soft whenever your teacher would pat his head, flattening out the black tresses and ruffling them, much to Megumi’s chagrin. But you really wished you could feel as well.

You were the type of person to show your fondness for others through touch. Some people liked it, and some didn’t. For example, Yuji normally had no problem with you touching him, even welcomed it. You weren’t brave enough to ask someone like Megumi for the same sort of relationship, so you kept your hand to yourself when it came to him. At least until Megumi fell asleep, leaning against the car door for support. It’s then you saw your chance and carefully reached to touch one of the longer spikes.

The little black point wavered at your poking, lightly curling around your index finger as you swirled it around. You giggled to yourself about it. It’s thicker and fluffier than you imagined and also incredibly soft, proving Kugisaki’s theory about a ton of hairspray wrong.

Suddenly, a bump in the road cut your touching short, and you quickly jumped away when Megumi’s eyes began to flutter open.

Suspicious, he asked, “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” you said calmly despite your heart thumping under his gaze, but he dropped his interrogation as you all pulled into the school’s parking lot.

That was three months ago.

Now, the two of you were dating, and you saw that as permission to continue your physical intimacy with your more introverted boyfriend.

“Good morning, guys,” you greet your classmates and teacher with a wave, saving your happier actions for Megumi as your hand immediately goes towards his head to ruffle his hair. You pull your hand away but not before letting your fingers clasp your favorite cowlick. Giving a gentle tug, you let it bounce back into place with a smile.

Megumi groans softly, his mouth pursed into a slight frown as he goes to fix his hair back into its normal disarray.

Gojo claps, bringing your attention towards him. “Well now that everyone’s here, let’s go shopping.”

With that, the five of you head to the shopping district despite the heat bearing down on the city. You spend about an hour walking around before deciding to take a break so Nobara and Gojo can catch their breath in the shade while you return some clothes you bought a few weeks earlier across the street. Megumi and Yuji go to buy all five of you drinks, but it isn’t long before you hear Yuji yelling from outside the store.

“Sensei! Kugisaki! Fushiguro is getting hit on! We have to protect (L/Name)’s relationship!”

Before you could even stop them, they’re already up and running in Fushiguro’s direction. Sighing, you grab your card from the store owner and run to catch up with your group.

When you arrive, Kugisaki and Itadori are already clinging to him and ranting something about being in love with him before Gojo saunters up in his best casual wear to challenge them. You have to stifle back a laugh as he goes on about music practice and homewrecking before the event ends with Megumi smacking Yuji in the head as Nobara and Gojo stalk off, defeated.

Hearing your laughter, Yuji cowers behind you with tearful chibi eyes. “Do you see that, (Name)? Fushiguro is so mean. I was only trying to help him and that's the treatment I get .”

“You didn’t help at all. You were nothing short of embarrassing.”

You giggle at the two before reaching out to your silently fuming boyfriend. “No need to be so grumpy, Megumi-kun, or did Gojo give you too much violin homework,” you sing out teasingly, earning a growl about how it isn’t funny as you playfully scramble his hairstyle.

“And that! Will you stop with that?” Megumi demands and forcefully shoves your hand away. “It’s so annoying. You don’t see me petting you all day like some damn pet.”

“Oh,” you say, stepping back from him in your shock. This is the first time Megumi has brought up how you chose to dote on him. Yes, he’d quietly grumble about it from time to time like most things, but he never yelled at you about how you chose to display your affection. You guess you never really realized how much it truly bothered him. Biting back the hurt in your voice, you apologize. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Megumi grunts softly in response, and Yuji decides it’s probably best to ask Gojo to take you all home for today.

It isn’t long after that Megumi begins to notice your interactions with him starting to change. He apologized for yelling at you soon after the event, but you were still much less touchy with him even after accepting his apology.

Normally, you’d grab onto his hand without so much as asking or surprise him with kisses on his cheek. Now, you only hold his pinky from time to time and only if he asks. You also stop your go-to of rubbing his head when you’d greet him or playing with the ends of his hair when you were bored.

Megumi thought maybe something was bothering you, but then he noticed how you’d still laugh and joke around with Yuji and Nobara, your hand gripping onto their shoulder when they’d tell an extra funny joke or affectionately patting them on the back. That wasn’t the worst though. The worst was when you’d absentmindedly sweep Yuji’s hair back into place when it got messy from training. The jealousy it sparked in Megumi was the last straw that makes him decide to ask you what was wrong.

You’re surprised when he tugs on your sleeve, interrupting your conversation with Itadori and Kugisaki. “Hey, can we talk?”

“Sure,” you say, nodding off to Itadori and Kugisaki before following Megumi to the waterspouts outside. You both sat together on the brick square surrounding the structure. It’s a few quiet seconds of you staring at Megumi as he folds his hands in front of him and lazily taps his foot. Dark blue eyes stare at you before dropping back to the ground.

“Are you still mad at me for yelling at you the other week?”

You shake your head. “I told you it’s fine. I’m not mad at you about that.”

“Then, it’s something else,” he decides, and he desperately tries to rack his brain for what else he could have possibly done wrong, “I’m sure I didn’t forget your birthday or anything. Do you not like me anymore or something?”

Gasping, you deny his claim, “Of course I like you, why would you think I don’t?”

“Because you’re not so friendly with me anymore like the way you are with the others, so either you’re upset with me, or you don’t have the same feelings for me as you do with them.”

“It’s neither of those things. With Yuji and Nobara, they’re both sociable people, but you aren’t like them. You don’t like all that kind of stuff, and I don’t want to annoy you by doing things you don’t like.”

Megumi scowls at your confession, sighing because he remembers exactly why you must be talking like this so suddenly. He specifically called your touches annoying, and he inwardly curses at himself for it. “You’re wrong. It’s not that I don’t like it…” he begins unsurely then pauses.

“Then, what?”

Megumi groans softly, an embarrassed heat starting to build in his cheeks as he quietly croaks out, “Feels good.”

“What’s that?” you ask, scooting closer so you can hear him better.

Megumi blushes lightly and cranks his head to look away from your cutely confused blinking. “It feels good when you do it,” he repeats robotically.

“When I do what?”

“When you play with my hair,” he hesitantly explains in more detail, “When Gojo does it, it’s aggravating, but I don't mind so much with you.”

Hesitantly, you ask, “So is it okay if I do it now?”

Megumi nods. “If you want.”

Cautiously, you lift your hand, pulling back in doubt a few times before ultimately sliding your fingers through his hair and rubbing. Megumi groans softly at your touch, and you realize that all those rushed noises of aggravation were actually him moaning from how light and comforting your touch was. You move your hand forward and backward some more, massaging his head until his head starts nodding and his eyes flutter a bit.

You giggle at him. “Are you falling asleep? You’re such a kid.”

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you.”

You laugh louder as he scoffs to hide his embarrassment.

“In that case, you can sleepover with me tonight, and we can do this if you want,” you offer sweetly, and Megumi glances at you, thinking it over. As your smile grows and your hand hits that sweet spot right at the nape of his neck, he couldn’t deny that he liked the idea of falling asleep with you playing with his hair.

“I’d like that.”

[tackletofset]

I was planning to create an entire set of theory slides on this, but this seems like a good opportunity for discussion.

It was remarkably clear that Will's "secret identity" had been a queer allegory since book one. While the world of Dark Rise is "homonormative," it's not explicitly homophobic. However, being reborn and lions (or anything associated with 'team Dark') serve as a metaphor for a queer identity.

I previously mentioned in one of my theories that the Stewards are an allegory of the church.

James seemed like the openly gay son of a priest, disowned by his family. The shocking revelation that the despised queer individual was actually the high priest’s son was quite evident. The way Jannick talked about him, saying “that thing is not my son,” mirrored what bigoted religious parents often say to their queer child.

In both Dark Rise and Dark Heir, Will grappled with internalized queerphobia. Considering his upbringing, resembling the experiences of queer youths raised by abusive, homophobic parents, he struggled to align with the perspectives they held about queer individuals. In Dark Rise, he was deeply in denial until he couldn't deny his queerness any longer. His magical practices with the Elder Steward, where he attempted to light a candle and embody the Lady’s magic, could symbolize his struggle/attempt with compulsory heterosexuality.

In Dark Heir, although he acknowledged his queerness, he remained closeted for obvious reasons.

Even the magical encounter he had with James could symbolize his first experience with queer intimacy. As James drew him close to feel his hard-on erection magic, Will kept chanting in his mind, “This is wrong, this is so wrong.” Even afterward, he told James they could never do it again.

That’s why it devastated me when Elizabeth outed him. Will's fear and reaction at the time were more than just someone being exposed as a powerful dark lord; it more accurately portrayed a queer person being forcibly outed against their wishes. He expressed concern about his friends’ reactions, fearing “shock, fear, and revulsion” from them, especially his best friend Violet.

The queer allegory was also noticeable in the Old World. Even when Sarcean was a loyal general of the Sun King, he faced discrimination due to his magic and coloring. The coloring aspect might also allude to racism toward an ethnic minority, a theme previously presented by Pacat in Captive Prince.

I torally agree with what you said about queerness being seen as “infectious” and conversion agendas. The accusations used to undermine Sarcean’s relationship with Anharion was exactly that. There's a prevalent belief among bigoted individuals that people become queer due to trauma, often stemming from assaults by members of the same sex. 

Therefore, similar accusations were made to discredit both Sarcean and Anharion’s choices. Sarcean was openly queer and despised by the entire kingdom, while Anharion, a good, pure and chaste, abstinent christian boy, was seen as impossible to have willingly sided with him.

He must have been influenced or assaulted!

This is why I disagree with theories suggesting that Will or James must go to extreme lengths (including killing the other or kill their own self) to break away from their past. Making it Will’s responsibility validates the prejudices of the Light Side. And it’s not like Will hadn’t been trying everything he could to prevent the past from re-happening, yet they are still trapped in the echoes, becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If your bigoted friends and family believe negative stereotypes about queer people, it’s not your responsibility as a queer individual to "prove them wrong." It's the responsibility of the bigots to unlearn and educate themselves.

Okay one of my favorite things about dark heir is the way it gave me a story where the main character has a dark secret and in some ways things would be simpler if he just told his friends but, alas, he does not trust his friends, he thinks if he tells them, that they will turn on him … BUT HES RIGHT

This is a trope in a hundred thousand stories and I almost always hate it because miscommunication as a plot complication is frustrating and boring to me usually

But here???? HERE???? The whole time I was like, you know what Will, you are correct do not tell your friends yet actually. And you know it’s gonna come out eventually but the timing has gotta be just right. Have to wait long enough that they know you better and trust you and will stop themselves from just killing you immediately

But wait too long and Uh Oh you have been Lying To Your Friends For Months and now they trust you Less for this has added to your sins

And then it comes out and Will was right they all turn on him 😭

Well. Almost.

[orangejuice707]

I have a feeling that Gilbert got bullied in his childhood more specifically chased with swords or smth dangerous like that . As in my this theory (og post was v's) I explained why he never rejected Clavis's bad cooking .

Now I am gonna connect it to Gilbert's character design

So we have all seen Gilbert wearing all black and covering almost ALL of his body including face (eyepatch!) . Could there be reasons for it other than character design?

Yes .

Scary appearance (more like "to appear" scary)

Covering body parts which are hurt in an attempt to hide scars and appear strong

Now if we say that the people who used to bully him left cuts and scratches on certain parts of his body including his eye . So basically

Him covering up his body can be an effect of bullying .

Reasons why he got bullied

• he was a weak kid (as I said in the linked theory abt his food habits)

Now let's talk abt canebert

Why not a sword? Why not a gun? Though I doubt that the stick is only a stick and not a covering for a gun .

But the question is

Why?

Why does he need to cover up such a dangerous artifact when it can scare anybody and let him get his way with them ?

Why not kill/beat people using a gun/sword ?

That's bcoz he knows

He knows how much it hurts. So he would rather beat up his opponent with a cane rather than beat them with smth more dangerous.

Why does he reads so many military based books when he can literally posses a gun kill off his opponents ?

(OK I might be bullshitting a bit here)

At times a legit article on the internet or a certain thing from a certain book can change our whole world and make us feel a type of way .

In this case .

Gilbert found comfort (a weird kind) in reading military books and possessing the knowledge. He didn't just wanted to be a weak victim of bullying . Rather he wanted to be stronger at least in one field (personal defense rather than military strength in this case)

Now .

Why is he trying so hard to be friends with mc and the other princes ?

Now before starting I wanna say that this is pretty far fetched so yeah.

What if the people who bullied him in his childhood were his own family members? Like idk anything abt gil's fam tbh (does any of us except cybird does tho???) .

He might be similar to the isekaid villainess we(or atleast I) often read abt in manhwas , etc.

Getting bullied by Palace staff

Getting bullied by family members

Almost losing their life

Forming new allies

(Falling in love)

I kept the last one in brackets bcoz that is not what we are gonna discuss here .

He tries hard to get along with people outside his hometown . Especially people who don't want to take advantage of him (like that one nobleman) bcoz in his past along with the bullying he probs faced issues with who took advantage of him .

So now since he is grown and healthy he is like "nope" and "gonna make my own friends found family" .

Now, why more specifically mc?

(Crack theory : bcoz it is Emma duhhh)

Ok now in all seriousness it is her bcoz she is given the role of belle

A very vital role in Rhodolite .

And the main requirement?

● pure heart

This . This is the exact reason as to why Gilbert would never not ask her to be his friend .

A pure person would never take advantage of anyone . This probably puts Gilbert at ease .

Now for another kinda bullshit like theory

What if he himself wants to destroy Obsidian and side with Rhodolite?

This is extremely weird so feel free to ignore this .

He once mentioned that he never took part in the war 10 years ago on Bloodstained Rose Day (i forgot the name so sorry if it is incorrect)

This can easily mean that he never wanted to go on a war with Rhodolite.

Now ik Luke's route kinda proves this to be wrong but what if whatever he did 10 years ago was bcoz he was being controlled by the king of Obsidian? Like idk lololololol

Anyways if u made it this far then here is a sword 🗡 for ya . Thank u for reading .

(Took me almost 1 hr to write lolol)

[pitubea1910]

Ready

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Featuring: Avengers

Word count: 5k

Warning: some swearing, alcohol, mention of sex, a bit of teasing.

Tags: -

Request: -

Notes: -

Masterlist

A few months ago, you and nine other recruits received a phone call saying to be at the training facilities first time in the morning. Once you got there, you were told that you would be receiving extra training, long hours and double effort. Whenever you asked why, they just said it was classified.

After two months of training ten hours per day, seven days a week, being put through several trials and tests, you were called to the office of Maria Hill –the head of all the recruitment process-. To your surprise, she wasn’t alone when you got there: Nick Fury was there.

You had never met him in person, although you had heard many stories about him. And his presence was as intimidating as you imagined. Or even more. He had a deep voice that shook to your core, a way of talking that let you know he was someone not to mess with, he owned S.H.I.E.L.D and he knew it.

“Agent (Y/L/N)”, Hill started as soon as you took a seat after recovering from the surprise of finding Nick Fury in the room. “Let me introduce you to Nicholas Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Yeah, I know who… he is”, you said with a small smile. There was no one around the facility who didn’t know who this man was. Maria Hill smiled too.

“Nice to meet you, Agent (Y/L/N)”, Fury said. “I have been following your training for the last two months quite closely.”

Your felt your mouth go dry. He had been following your training?

“And I have to say it is quite impressive”, he added. He took a tablet from Hill’s desk and swiped the screen a couple of times. “When it comes to strategy there’s no one who can beat you, you’re strong, fast, your combat skills could be a match for Black Widow’s… definitely impressive.”

“Thank you, sir”, was all you could say. You knew you were good, but you never thought you would be good enough to hear it from Nick Fury himself. He was a legend.

“As you know, these last two months we have been testing you on a daily basis”, Hill said and you nodded. Of course you knew. You could feel it in every bone and muscle in your body. “What you don’t know is why.”

“And I guess you’re going to tell me?” You asked, looking at the two of them.

Fury put the tablet back on the desk without taking his eye off you. You would be lying if you said he didn’t make you nervous, but you had the feeling that looking away wouldn’t help you there, so you were determined to hold his eye. After a few minutes, you thought you could see a hint of smile on Fury’s lips, but you probably just imagined it.

“The Avengers have requested a new member for their team”, he simply said.

If you had been drinking something, you would have choked on it or spitted out for sure. Out of all the things you thought this meeting was about, the last thing you expected was something like this.

“The Avengers?” You asked. “As in… Captain America, Black Widow and Iron Man?”

“Are there any other Avengers that we don’t know of?” Fury asked with a teasing tone.

“Fair enough”, you mumbled.

“We chose 10 candidates and we have been putting you through tests and trials without telling you why”, Hill said now taking the tablet and showing you some graphics. “All of you started off with enthusiasm, showing the best results you had got since you got recruited. However, as the weeks passed, most of your colleagues’ performance started to deteriorate.”

“We had meetings with them”, Fury said. “We asked if there was something wrong, why this change when they had proven to be among the best of their class. They said that they were tired. That they didn’t know what was going on, what was the point of all this suffering.”

“I never got any meeting”, you said.

“Because your performance only got better”, Hill said, showing you a graphic with your name on it. “You have been the only one who, despite not having a purpose, a goal, not knowing what was going on, kept on working as hard as you did on the first day.”

“And that, Agent (Y/L/N)”, Fury said, “is exactly what we need. Someone who won’t fail, who won’t slow down, who will be there every day no matter what, with the same spirit as the first day. However, as much as we thought you are the perfect candidate, we are not the ones who have the final say.”

“Then?” You asked confused.

“We sent all of your files to The Avengers, with all the progress of the last two months. And they have made a decision. They want you, Agent (Y/L/N).”

A week later you packed all of your belongings in a suitcase and left the S.H.I.E.L.D HQ in a black SUV to move into The Avengers Headquarters in Upstate New York. Their welcome had been incredible. Since the very first moment you walked in the residential quarters of the huge compound, you were warmly welcomed by the team.

It took you a time to get used to your new life. You still had to train every day and soon you found out that it was a harder training than the one you did as a simple recruit. Obviously, they didn’t hold their punches. At first, you ended up at the infirmary most of the days, but eventually you started getting stronger and getting used to this new way of fighting. There was less theory and more instinct. And, soon enough, you started going on missions.

At first, they would be recon missions, nothing major. However, in a few months you proved yourself to be able to do more. You would never forget your first mission with Steve, Tony, Bucky and Natasha. It was the most exciting, exhausting and hard day of your life and, despite coming back injured, everyone kept on telling you how amazed they were by you, your work and your skills.

They took care of you, visited you every day until you got better, helped with your recovery and to get back on your feet in no time. You had found a family in them and it looked like they saw you as one of them now.

“You know what day is it tomorrow?” You asked when you walked into the kitchen.

You had just finished your training and had walked into the kitchen to have a smoothie. As usual, since you had the same training hours scheduled, Bucky was there as well.

Since the beginning, you had started training with Bucky as your mentor. You didn’t really fight against him, since he could knock you out without even trying, but he was there to observe and correct, give you advice, put more weight on your weights and push your limits.

When you first started training with him, he wouldn’t talk much. But, eventually, he started opening up and you gladly discovered that underneath all that sulking attitude was a really funny, easy going, teasing and loving kind of guy.

You spent so much time together that soon you found yourself looking around for him every time you walked into a room, sitting in front of him in every meal, next to him every time you would watch a movie, spending hours in his room just talking or playing videogames. You just couldn’t picture your life without him in it anymore.

“Saturday?” He said, throwing a bottle of water at you, which you caught without problem.

“Something else?” You asked, unscrewing the cap. Bucky thought for a moment and shook his head. “Really? I should be offended. A year ago, your life changed.”

“Did it?” He asked, a smirk forming on his lips. You narrowed your eyes and threw the cap of the bottle at him. He laughed and dodged it. “I know, I know. It will be a year since the most annoying person in the world walked through those doors with that lost puppy look on her face.”

“I wasn’t lost!” You exclaimed.

“So you’re annoying?” He teased.

“Not as much as you are”, you said and stuck your tongue out. “Maybe we should celebrate.”

“Why?”

“When was the last time someone put up with you for so long?” This time, he was the one narrowing his eyes at you, which made you laugh. “But seriously, it doesn’t have to be a party. But we could have a drink all together or something.”

“Ask Tony”, Bucky said. “He will organise anything in the next 45 minutes.”

“Good point”, you said nodding your head. “I’ll talk to him.”

You were about to walk out of the kitchen, fully intending to talk to Tony as soon as possible, when Bucky called your name. You turned around to find him walking over you.

“Yes?” You asked.

Once he was standing in front of you, he sighed and moved some hair that had flown out of your ponytail and put it behind your ear. He caressed your cheek and looked into your eyes, making your heart beat louder and faster. You took a deep breath, trying not to look down at his lips.

“A year ago, I met the most important person in my life”, he said. “She’s strong, funny, annoying as hell and incredibly oblivious. But I wouldn’t change her for anything.”

He leaned in and kissed your cheek softly before winking an eye at you and walking out of the kitchen, leaving you flustered, confused and on the edge of fainting.

***

Just like Bucky had said, as soon as you said to Tony that you would like to have a little celebration, he took out his phone and started organising a little party. You made it clear that you didn’t want or need anything big, but once Tony started organising a party there was no way of knowing the size of it until you were in it.

“I thought you didn’t want anything big”, Bucky said when you stepped into the main living room of the residential quarters the following evening.

Looking around, you barely knew anyone. You had no idea how Tony had managed to pull this out in such short notice. There was people everywhere, food, alcohol music and banners everywhere saying ‘Happy Avengesary (Y/N)’. It was incredible.

“This is what happens when you leave Tony in charge”, Steve, who walked in after you two, said.

“I’m not complaining”, Natasha said with a huge smile as she looked around. “See you later guys.”

“Where is she going?” You asked, looking at her as she got lost in the crowd.

“She has seen that IT guy she likes”, Steve said with a chuckle.

“I say we make the best out of this and get a drink”, Sam said.

“And that’s the most intelligent idea I have heard so far”, you said and took Sam’s hand to follow him through the crowd.

The bartenders that Tony had hired knew exactly who you were and the reason you were having this celebration. So the moment they saw you, they made sure you had a drink in your hand without even asking for it. It looked like Tony had told them what you liked.

The next couple of hours went by in a blur. Despite not knowing most of the people in the party, it was obvious that they knew who you were and many kept on stopping you to congratulate you on the work you had been doing the past year or just to take a photo with you. Definitely, that was something you would never get used to: being a public figure.

When you finally managed to sit down on the couch, next to Bucky, you didn’t even know how many hands you had shaken, how many photos you had taken and how many hugs you had given. But your mind was buzzing.

“How you doing, superstar?” Bucky smiled when you let yourself fall on the couch.

“Exhausted”, you admitted.

“It will wear off, don’t worry”, Sam said, patting your shoulder. “Once they get used to you, they won’t pay much attention.”

“Unless you’re Captain America or Thor, of course”, Clint winked.

“Shut up”, Steve rolled his eyes.

“It took us an hour to get some milk from the grocery store”, Clint said. “An hour because people kept on asking Steve for photos and autographs.”

“One would think that after a century, no one would be impressed by Captain America right?” Sam laughed.

“It’s not Captain America”, you said. “It’s… you.”

“What?” Steve asked confused, which made you laugh.

“Are you really that oblivious?” Wanda laughed as well.

“You’re a specimen, man”, Sam winked playfully, making you all laugh.

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that”, Steve said as you could all see him blushing.

“Oh, trust me. It is”, you said. “Everyone has a crush on Captain America”, you added.

“Do you?” Bucky asked, his arm casually over the back of the couch and your shoulders.

“Don’t you?” You asked back with a laugh.

“I saw him putting newspaper in his shoes to look taller”, Bucky shrugged. “It’s kind of a turn off.”

“So that means that there is a turn on?” Clint asked wiggling his eyebrows.

“There’s always at least one turn on”, you smirked.

“Oh really?” Bucky smirked. “What turns you on, (Y/L/N)?”

“Right back at you, Barnes”, you said, looking at him with a playful smile.

“Okay, this just gave me an idea!” Sam said.

You forced yourself to look away from Bucky, whose eyes were burning through yours. You had felt that electricity running between you two many times before, but you had never felt the heat you felt at the moment. So you needed to focus on something else beside the warmth of his body next to yours.

“Please, enlighten us”, Natasha said.

“What about an old good game of Truth or Dare?” He suggested. You laughed out loud, just like Wanda and Natasha.

“Are we 16 now?” Steve said, although he didn’t look like he rejected the idea completely.

“Afraid of airing your dirty laundry, Rogers?” Clint asked.

“I have no dirty laundry to air”, the alluded said with an innocent smile.

“Yeah right”, Natasha laughed. “Okay, let’s do this”, she said.

“Seriously?” You asked.

“Why not?” Natasha shrugged. “It’s always fun to get to know each other in different ways”, she winked.

You sighed and shrugged. It looked like you didn’t have a choice. As soon as you all agreed, Sam asked a waiter to bring a couple of bottles of tequila, shot glasses for everyone and an empty bottle. In addition, Bucky he asked for a bottle of the Asgardian liquor Steve and Bucky used to drink in these situations.

“It’s no fun if two of us can’t get drunk”, he explained once they brought the small bottle and everything was settled.

“Fair enough”, you laughed. “Okay, who goes first?” You asked.

“You’re the honouree, so…” Sam said.

“Okay”, you laughed and spun the bottle that stopped pointing at Sam, who smiled widely at you. “Truth or dare?”

“Let’s start with a truth”, Sam said.

“Have you ever practised kissing in a mirror?” You smiled.

“First, that’s a lame question. Second… yes”, he admitted, making you all laugh. “I was 10, okay? And I was nervous about a potential first kiss”, he shrugged.

“That’s cute”, you admitted still laughing.

“Okay, here we go”, Sam spun the bottle and this time it landed on Bucky.

“Truth”, Bucky quickly said.

“Mmm…” Sam smirked after looking at you for a brief second. “Would you make out with someone in this group?”

Bucky looked at Sam like he wanted to kill him and you felt him tense up beside you. You looked up to him although his eyes were fixed on Sam, whose smiled only grew bigger.

“You can always drink. Although that will give us half an answer”, Sam shrugged.

“I would”, Bucky finally said. You raised both eyebrows and looked up again, surprised.

“With who?” You asked.

“That’s not part of the question, doll”, Bucky winked before spinning the bottle, which landed on Natasha. Yet, you didn’t stop thinking about it.

“Dare, of course”, she shrugged.

“I dare you to go to that IT guy and ask him out”, Bucky smiled.

“You know I don’t ask out”, Natasha said.

“Is Black Widow backing off a dare?” Clint smiled.

Natasha narrowed her eyes, her pride obviously taken the best of her. Immediately, she got up and you all looked at her while she walked up to the IT guy. It was a quick conversation and, by the end of it, the guy looked like was about to marry her while she came back with her face as red as her hair.

“I’ll get back at you, Barnes”, she said, spinning the bottle.

There were all kind of dares and questions. The more you drank, the juicier they got without even realising it. At some point, Steve was playing without his shirt –to the delight of many of the guests-, Clint was speaking only with the vowel E, Wanda was wearing Natasha’s clothes and viceversa and you were on your pyjamas.

“Okay, let’s go”, Natasha said when it was her turn to spin the bottle after reading out loud the last text she had sent –Rated X-. “Finally!” She said when it landed on Bucky. “Barnes?”

All along, every time it was Bucky’s turn, there had been numerous hints of him liking someone, someone he would sleep with, his crush, but no name had come out of his mouth. You didn’t even know Bucky liked someone, which was strange since you spent so much time together, and to say you were curious was a misunderstanding.

“Truth”, he said.

“Playing it safe, huh?” Natasha smiled.

“You’re a dangerous woman, Romanoff”, Bucky said, his fingers brushing your shoulder absently.

“Fine. Have it your way”, she said. “Is (Y/N) the one you’ve been talking about all along? The one you would make out with, sleep with, have a crush on?”

Bucky’s whole body tensed up, just like yours, with that question. It was obvious she had been saving it for quite a long time and it looked like everyone was waiting for someone to drop the bomb. They all looked at Bucky smiling a little, as if they knew something you ignored, waiting.

“Damn you, Natasha”, Bucky finally chuckled.

“Would you prefer a dare?” She smiled widely.

“I don’t trust your dares”, Bucky said.

“Then… answer or drink. Although… drinking would be an answer itself”, she innocently shrugged and winked an eye at him.

You saw Bucky biting his lower lip without looking at you, his eyes fixed on Nat, as he was deliberately trying not to look at you. Your heart was pounding in your ears and you swore you would explode if he didn’t say something soon.

“Yes”, he finally said, taking your breath away. “She is”

And he spun the bottle.

***

The game was finished in no time after that moment. Although you didn’t pay any attention to it anymore. All you could do was look at Bucky, waiting for him to look at you and explain what he had just said. However, all he did was smirking whenever he felt his eyes on you.

“Okay, come here”, he said once everyone had scattered around.

He took your hand and took you through the crowd. You didn’t know where he would take you until he scanned his finger print on the door that lead to Tony’s office. He let you walked in first and looked around to make sure no one was looking before closing the door.

“What was that?” You finally asked after a few moments.

“Do I really need to explain?” He smiled, getting closer to you which only made you nervous.

“I think? Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” You asked.

“When would I say anything? When I was kicking your ass during training?” He asked.

“You don’t kick my ass”, you said. “We never even fight against each other because you’re too afraid of me kicking your ass”, you added, crossing your arms.

“You’re so damn blind”, he laughed shaking his head. “I don’t fight you because I would never forgive myself if I ever hurt you. Even if it happened during training.”

You blinked a few times and looked away, trying so hard not to blush and failing completely. He was now so close that you could even feel his breath on you. It wasn’t the first time he was this close, but it was the first time it made you so nervous.

“That’s just another way of saying it”, you mumbled.

Bucky placed his index finger on your chin to make you look up at him and to his eyes before rubbing your cheek softly. His eyes moved down to your lips, just like yours to his, just in time to see him biting his bottom lip. Your breath got caught in your throat and an urgent need to kiss him overcame you.

“You drive me insane in every possible way, (Y/L/N)”, he said leaning in. You closed your eyes instinctively but his kiss never came. “But you’re not ready for it yet.”

You opened your eyes to see him slowly walking backwards, with a smirk on his face.

“What…? What are you doing?” You asked breathless.

“I could kiss you right now and make you realise that you feel the same way about me”, he said, a hand on the doorknob. “But I have decided that, if I have waited a year, I can wait a few more days and make you want it, drive you crazy just like you do with me.”

“Don’t walk away, James. Don’t you dare”, you said.

“See you later, doll”, he said.

Before you could even take a step forward, he opened the door and walked out the office, leaving you with your mouth open and your brain completely melted.

What the hell had just happened?

You had to take some time before you went back out to the party. Your heart had never beat like this. It felt like it would jump out of your chest at any given time and getting it back to ‘normal’ wasn’t easy.

When you finally made your way back out, you spotted Bucky at the bar, talking to Steve. When he saw you, his eyes were on you for a moment, while his lips formed a smug smirk, and then looked back at his friend to continue the conversation. All you wanted to do was go and punch him in that perfect face to kiss him afterwards. Or maybe kiss him first and punch later. You were confused.

The rest of the night you were completely unfocused. It felt like you couldn’t hold a single conversation, like you were zooming in and out all the time, looking around for Bucky and imagining his lips, hands, body on yours. In the end, you decided to leave the party earlier than expected. It wasn’t like anyone would notice, since most of the guests were too drunk to pay any more attention to you.

Once in your room and in your pyjamas –an oversize t-shirt and your underwear-, you laid on your bed and looked at the ceiling, thinking about what the hell had happened and trying to process how you felt about it.

It would be a huge lie to say that you didn’t have feelings for Bucky. You knew they had always been there, but you had always considered them platonic. He was one of the most attractive men you ever met and he was also kind, funny, witty, smart and incredibly thoughtful. You would have never thought he felt the same way about you. You thought all those times he flirted with you, it was just a game to him. Maybe you had been wrong.

You didn’t even know when you had fallen asleep, but when you opened your eyes, you heard the rain against the huge window of your room. You sighed and rubbed your eyes, your mind immediately racing as memories from last night flooded your head. Damn James Buchanan Barnes.

When you heard the buzzing of your phone, you sighed and picked it up from the bedside table to find a text message from the man himself.

“Training in 10 minutes”, the text said. He had to be kidding you. It was Sunday.

And did he really think he could just act like nothing?

“Sorry. As someone said to me last night: I’m not ready yet”, you texted back.

He read the text immediately, but it took him a little while to reply.

“If you’re not in the training room in 10 minutes, I’ll drag you there myself”, you shivered, knowing he fully intended to act on his threat. But you weren’t going to just do as he told you.

“Didn’t you say I drive you insane? Then good luck, babe”, you texted, smirking to yourself as you pictured the look on his face.

You knew what was going to happen. Maybe you were pushing him a bit, but you weren’t going to let him dictate what to do or when to get up. Especially after how flustered and frustrated he had left you the previous night.

Yes, you were dying to kiss him. That was all you could think about since last night. But, unless you were mistaken, he wanted that kiss as much as you did and you were going to get it, even if you had to drive him insane.

At first, you thought he would go to your room immediately, but it looked like he really waited those 10 minutes in case you showed up. Or maybe he was just waiting outside of your room, because exactly 11 minutes later, there was a knock on your room. You smiled to yourself and stretched out still in bed, but didn’t move.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, can you please tell him that I am not training today?” You said to the A.I.

“You know I can hear you, right?” You heard Bucky’s voice on the other side of the room.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, can you please ask Tony to make the rooms soundproof? That would be extremely useful for certain people”, you said.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, open (Y/N)’s door, please”, Bucky said.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. Each room has its own personal protocols and can only be lifted with the permission of said owner”, the A.I said, which made you smile.

“Too bad, soldier”, you said.

“You know I can just kick him in, right?”

You narrowed your eyes, looking at the ceiling. You knew he could, but did you want to push him until that point? It could be fun, but you didn’t want to deal with Tony afterwards. You knew how much he hated when doors got kicked in –something that happened surprisingly often in the compound-.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, unlock the door, please”, you finally said.

The A.I. obeyed and unlocked the door. In a second, Bucky walked in and closed behind him. You looked at him from the bed, still not moving, and smiled. He was wearing his usual training gear –black sweatpants and a black t-shirt- and was looking at you with an eyebrow raised, waiting.

“Do you need anything?” You asked.

“You were supposed to be in the gym 5 minutes ago”, he said with his arms crossed.

“Yeah, well…” you stretched out again, making sure your t-shirt went up a few inches, enough to let him see your underwear and belly. “I’m kind of having a lazy day”, you said with a smile as you saw his eyes on your exposed skin.

“I know what you’re doing”, he said. You raised both eyebrows.

“And what is it?” You asked innocently.

“Pushing me”, he said.

“Don’t be so egocentric, Barnes”, you said. “Not everything is around you.”

“Oh really?” He said.

Slowly, he walked around the bed, taking a seat just next to you. You got nervous when he leaned in, placing one hand around you to support himself as he got closer. You looked at his lips and then his eyes, which hide the smile he forced himself not to show.

“Tell me you haven’t been thinking about kissing me since last night”, he said in a low voice.

“I…” you mumbled, your eyes moving down to his lips, which finally curved up into a small smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Are you going to tell me that if I kissed you right now…” he said, almost brushing your lips with his, “you wouldn’t melt against me?”

You took a deep breath through your nose, trying to control your heart rate, which felt close to impossible. All about him was overwhelming and you had no idea how to manage his closeness. You just wanted to grab him by the neck and kiss him. However, it looked as if he was reading your mind. Just when you were about to move your hands, he moved his and pinned your wrists against the bed.

“Gym. 5 minutes”, he whispered so close that you thought you would die if he didn’t kiss you.

Then, he just let go, got up and walked to the door. You couldn’t believe this was the second time in less than twelve hours that he was going to leave you like this. You looked at the door to see him smirking before walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.

“Fuck!” You exclaimed, punching the mattress.

Five minutes later, you walked through the doors of the gym, still sulking and flustered. You had been quickly to put some leggings and a training top. If Bucky wasn’t going to give in or let you kiss him, you needed some other way to let your frustration out. Fighting.

“Maybe today we can try something different”, you said to Bucky, acting as if nothing had happened, as if your mind wasn’t full of imaged of him kissing your whole body.

“Oh yeah? What is it?” Bucky asked while he adjusted the punching bag.

“Why don’t we fight?” You asked. Bucky laughed quietly and shook his head. “What?”

“Have you warmed up?” He asked.

“I’m warm enough, thank you” you said making him smile. Anyway, you started stretching since you didn’t want to pull any muscle or cause any injury. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“You know I’m not going to fight you, doll”, he said, taking the bandages from the floor. “I could hurt you.”

Your eyes went to his hand as he started wrapping the bandages around it, wrapping it tightly. You had always loved watching that routine. There was something about the way he moved his hands, how he wrapped the bandages around them that was hypnotizing.

“You won’t”, you said, coming out of your little trance.

“How do you know it?” He asked.

“Because I trust you”, you shrugged. He looked at you for a moment and smiled.

“You just want an excuse to hit me because you’re frustrated”, he said.

“That’s just a bonus”, you shrugged and took the other pair of bandages from the floor when you finished stretching. “I really think it would be helpful to fight against an actual person and not just a bag.”

“You have fought against Natasha, Wanda, Peter, Scott and Clint many times”, he said.

You sighed while you wrapped the bandage around your left hand. You knew him well enough to know he wasn’t going to change his mind. It wasn’t the first time you had this conversation and you understood his fear of hurting you, but you really wanted to punch him. Maybe if you caught him by surprise?

When you finished wrapping your hands, you looked at him. He was checking his own bandages and looked kind of focused on it. Without even taking a minute to consider your next move, you quickly took a step forward and threw your leg up to his stomach. To your surprise, your kick caught him completely off guard. Unfortunately, you weren’t strong enough to make him fall, but he took a few steps back with a hand against his stomach.

“What was that?” He asked with an amused smile.

“If you don’t want to fight me, okay”, you shrugged. “I’ll fight you.”

“Stop before you get hurt”, he said.

“Stop patronising me”, you said through gritted teeth.

Quickly, you launched against him, but he just took your arm before it came in contact with him and pushed you aside as if you were a mundane annoying fly. You groaned to yourself and turned to look at him. He looked at you smiling, which only infuriated you even more.

“It’s just facts, doll”, he shrugged.

You narrowed your eyes but decided to launch again. This time, you went for his face, but he grabbed your arm and twisted so your back was against his chest. You took a deep breath at the contact when his lips were on your cheek.

“Stop”, he whispered and nibbled your neck.

With a grunt, you stomped your heel against his feet. He hissed, which was enough for you to drive your elbow against his ribs and your fist against his nose when he leaned down breathless. You hooked your arms around his neck and used your weight to bring him down, straddling his waist and pinning his arms to the ground.

You knew how easily he could just turn the situation around, but maybe he didn’t expect to find himself like this so easily and all he did was looking at you with a smile playing on his lips.

“What are you going to do now, (Y/L/N)?” He asked.

If you were honest to yourself, you just wanted to tease him like he had teased you. But you also knew you weren’t strong enough, not after last night and that morning. You bite your lip and leaned down, wondering if this time he would finally give in. He didn’t move, but his eyes turned a bit darker as his eyes moved down to your lips.

“I should just leave you wanting it”, you whispered against his lips. He chuckled a little.

“You wouldn’t make it to the door”, he warned you. You knew it was true.

You let go of one of his hands, which quickly moved to your hair, moving it out of the way. You took a deep breath, enjoying the moment, before finally closing the distance between your lips.

The moment your lips touched, you let go of his other hand. Immediately, Bucky flipped you around to have you pinned under him and kiss you deeply. You wrapped your legs around his waist in an attempt to bring him impossibly close to you. A moan escaped his throat, making you smirk against his lips while your hands sneaked under his t-shirt and brushed his warm skin.

You wanted him. Badly. But, of course, he wasn’t going to give you everything in just a moment, let alone on the gym floor. Instead, he pulled away after a few minutes and looked at you.

“You always get your way, huh?” He whispered, gently brushing your nose with his, a gesture you never saw coming from the big and fiery Winter Soldier.

“I have my skills”, you smiled.

With a smile, Bucky got up and helped you up as well, although he didn’t move away from you. He caressed your cheek and kissed your forehead.

“What now?” You asked a bit nervous.

“Maybe we should start with breakfast?” He suggested.

You laughed nervously and nodded, letting him take your hand and lead you out of the gym while all you could think about was kissing him all over again. Maybe over breakfast.

[vrishchikawrites]

Anon asks - There was another idea I had seen on @crossdressingdeath's tumblr where JC's reputation was ruined because of his behaviour and WWX's attempts to protect him from the consequences of his behaviour. The concept happens pre Qiongqi Path where JC attacks WWX to the point it injures and frightens him. A passerby sees WWX startled and asks him what's wrong but WWX dismisses it as nothing. Said bystander ends up thinking that JC had sexually assaulted him resulting in the cultivation world gossiping about JC being a rapist when really he isn't. Overall, the cultivation world gossips about the other shitty things JC had done and because he did alot of pretty bad things, he can't defend himself and resorts to victim blaming WWX. That however only has him dig a deeper hole for himself. WWX, on the other hand is left confused as to why everybody was pitying him all of a sudden when they used to hate and/or fear him. By the time the truth comes to light, the cultivation world thinks JC had deserved it anyway with it ending with JC hated just for him being himself and public opinion on WWX flipping. If you don't mind, can you make it light-hearted?

(Probably not as light-hearted as you would wish. It is a bit complicated. Be a little gentle because I wrote this twice and ended up fleshing it out much more. Is this a short prompt or a long one? who knows. writer is tired. she will sleep now.)

Everyone has personal boundaries, even people who are usually tactile and social. Boundaries exist even between family members who love and trust each other.

Wei Wuxian is a veteran fresh from war. He has survived bloody battlefields, spent days dealing with one hostile enemy after another. Even before that, he had spent his days constantly battling resentful ghosts and monsters in a place he can’t bear thinking of now. Before that, he had survived torture at the hands of the Wens. And before-

Better not to think about it.

So, when Jiang Cheng presses up against him threateningly, his face twisted and eyes furious, Wei Wuxian can’t help but flinch. He takes a step back and puts some distance between them quickly. Jiang Cheng has grown increasingly bitter and discontent in these past few months and Wei Wuxian is getting tired of dealing with it. He doesn’t want to be in such close proximity with a man seething with fury.

Unfortunately, that reaction proves to be a mistake because Jiang Cheng follows him, “What? Are you too big for us now? Turning away from me in disgust now that you’re a war hero and the best of us?” Jiang Cheng is so close, their noses almost touch and Wei Wuxian feels his hair stand on end in response.

“Jiang Cheng,” He says lowly, something unsettling stirring in his chest. He feels almost anxious. His heart is racing and the proximity makes him feel like he’s trapped, “Back away.”

“Back away?” Jiang Cheng snarls, “Who are you to command me, Wei Wuxian? Do you know what people are saying about YunmengJiang? Do you know who-”

“Back away,” Wei Wuxian says tightly, his skin crawling, “Now.” His hard-earned instincts are sounding alarms. He feels threatened and provoked. He feels the resentful energy in him respond to the danger.

“What are you going to do? Send a few ghosts at me?” He sneers, “Try it! We’ll see how brave you are under the wrath of my Zidian.”

No. Wei Wuxian isn’t going to just stand here and let Jiang Cheng pick up Yu-furen’s habits, He’s just about to react, to give Jiang Cheng the thrashing he clearly desires when he realizes they are outside. He glances beyond his Sect Leader’s shoulder and sees a small group of three clad in bright white looking at them with wide eyes.

He bites back his angry retort and masters himself. He’s not going to squabble with Jiang Cheng in front of Lan disciples. His relationship with Lan Zhan is strained as it is.

“We’re in public,” He says, hoping that concern for his Sect’s reputation would move Jiang Cheng if concern for Wei Wuxian doesn’t.

Jiang Cheng looks over his shoulder and sneers at the Lan disciples before rolling his head, “Lans, of course.” He snarls and pushes Wei Wuxian away roughly, “I’ll deal with you later.”

Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath and watches his brother leave.

The Lan disciples are still looking at him with heartwarming concern. He waves at them with a smile and watches as they start like little ducklings and bow to him before fleeing.

Cute.

---

“We have to do something!” Lan Zhanxiao insists, “Did you see how he looked? Wei Wuxian was clearly trying to-”

“Shh! Keep your voice down!” Lan Lishan reprimands.

“Don’t say his name!” Lan Guan whispers urgently, looking around in a panic. There are already a few curious and interested eyes glancing in their direction. Wei Wuxian is a notorious name, after all. Even non-cultivators are interested in the man who had just a material impact on the war. It is hard to tell if they would’ve won without that powerful unorthodox cultivator on their side.

“We can’t just stand by and do nothing,” Lan Zhanxiao, always the righteous one, continues. He doesn’t care about the people around them, “If Wei Wuxian is hurt and we do nothing to prevent it, aren’t we culpable as well?”

“This is Wei Wuxian. Who would dare?” Lan Guan asks incredulously, “He is one of the most powerful cultivators in existence.”

“Is he?” Zhanxiao demands, “Doesn’t everyone know he’s very loyal to Jiang-zongzhu? Would he take a step against him? Even if it meant saving himself?”

“He should be building his own sect,” Lan Lishan says reluctantly, “He’s the Grandmaster of his cultivation form. It may be an unorthodox method, but it is still something new and entirely unique.” He would know. Lan Lishan is an avid student of history and cultivation theory. He knows that most cultivators with unique abilities tend to form their own sect to pass their teachings down.

He shudders at the prospect of cultivating resentful energy but Wei Wuxian has mentioned it is a technique people with absent or damaged Golden Cores can use.

The potential is almost limitless.

“See what I mean?” Lan Zhanxiao points out, “Hasn’t he been isolated from other cultivators because they fear his methods? If Jiang-zongzhu is really hurting him or…” He grimaces and lowers his voice, “That expression, Shan-ge, it reminds me of jiejie. What if Jiang-zongzhu is… doing something inappropriate?”

They all exchange alarmed glances, “You don’t think…?” Lan Guan breathes, horrified.

“He was scrambling to get away,” Lan Zhanxiao says, “And Jiang-zongzhu kept pressing-”

“We can’t talk about this here,” Lan Lishan says firmly, “Come, let’s leave.”

Unfortunately, they leave chaos behind.

---

Rumors are a powerful entity in the cultivation world. They are born in tea and wine houses, spread from one tradesman to another and spread to the far reaches of cultivation society in a matter of months.

The rumors about Jiang’ Wanyin’s treatment of a war hero are no exception to this rule. People gossip about it with their friends and neighbors, share the news with vendors while on errands, and the rumors continue to grow. With every retelling, the story changes, growing increasingly distorted and vile.

“The entire business is unpleasant,” A small clan cultivator says to one of his tradesman friends, “Jealousy really alters a man.” He speaks about old rumors then, speculations about Wei Wuxian’s parentage, Madam Yu’s wrath, and the Jiang heir’s relatively lackluster growth in comparison to his prodigious shixiong.

“Surely not,” Another cultivator scoffs, “Who would dare raise a hand against Wei Wuxian? Did he not decimate a large Wen battalion with just his flute and some music?”

“Merchants at Lotus Pier say Wei Wuxian always looks wan and tired these days. He has grown pale.” One woman whispers to her companion, “He spends more time in wine houses with ghost maidens than in the comfort of his rebuilt home.”

“It seems so improbable!” A young cultivator protests, “Why would Jiang-zongzhu provoke the sleeping dragon like this? Wei Wuxian is stable now but who knows when he will give into resentment?”

“Lan disciples saw it.”

And that’s the crux of the matter. If the rumor didn’t originate from Lan disciples, it might not have traveled so far. Lans are known for their honest and forthright nature, after all. What cause did they have to lie? And no Lan spoke carelessly, so their words must be the whole truth, without any exaggeration.

Because Lans are the source, everything they say is taken as fact. If one Lan disciple finds Jiang-zongzhu’s behavior horribly inappropriate then it must be. If another Lan is worried about Wei Wuxian’s safety, there must be a just cause.

The rumors spread and propagate, and soon almost the entirety of the cultivation world is aware of them.

---

Gossip is forbidden at Cloud Recesses. Disciples are usually discouraged from meddling in other sect business. Rumor-mongering is punished severely, with all parties involved facing the wrath of the disciple whip.

But Lans are raised to be righteous and compassionate. If someone is in trouble, a Lan must act. He must offer a helping hand and take the victim away from danger.

When the rumors reach Caiyi Town and land on the ear of one Lan Ruyao, he hesitates. He asks around, gets more information, and then rushes back to Cloud Recesses, intent on knowing it all.

Lan Ruyao seeks the three disciples that are the cause of it all and demands an explanation, his mind disturbed with worry. What he hears gives him no comfort for he cannot discard their concerns. The behavior they describe is alarming and their observations are precise, without any emotion clouding their judgment.

Lan Lishan narrates the incident in detail, describing every action with no embellishment or exaggeration. He speaks of Wei Wuxian’s retreat, of Jiang Wanyin’s insistence, the threat of whipping, and words spoken with cruelty and disrespect.

Lan Ruyao’s mind is disturbed as he retreats, absentmindedly assigning some lines to the junior disciples. They have erred by being so indiscreet but their cause is righteous. They don’t deserve severe punishment.

He meditates on the matter for an entire morning, trying to decide on a course of action.

You see, Lan Ruyao is Lan Wangji’s peer. He has known the Second Jade for many years, and while they are not close, they are of the same clan. The entire cultivation world may believe Lan Wangji hates Wei Wuxian, but Ruyao knows better. The Second Jade wouldn’t have been so insistent on bringing Wei Wuxian to Gusu if he didn’t care.

Lan Ruyao suspects both of them hold each other in some esteem. They have saved each other’s sides many times and seem to get along well when they’re not quarreling. He believes that they are friends.

It would be unwise to keep this from Lan Wangji.

Decision made, he quickly requests a private meeting with the Second Jade. The request is granted promptly and soon Lan Ruyao finds himself before his peer, readying himself for a difficult conversation.

The Second Jade listens to his piece without any interruption, his expression blank and beautiful as white jade. But his golden eyes are twin chips of flint, coldly furious.

Indeed, they are friends.

Lan Wangji summons the three junior disciples and questions them thoroughly. His demeanor becomes frostier as the interview progresses, his spiritual energy gaining a deadly edge when the juniors murmur of ‘inappropriate behavior.’

“You have my gratitude,” Lan Wangji says finally, bowing to him and nodding to the juniors, “Rest assured, I will address the matter directly.”

---

“Lan Zhan, wait!” Wei Wuxian protests as Lan Zhan drags him away by the elbow, his uncharacteristic behavior taking him by surprise, “Don’t take him so seriously, Lan Zhan! You know he’s a temperamental brat.”

Lan Zhan doesn’t say anything until they are a fair distance away from Jiang Cheng and the Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian tries to get an explanation for such unusual behavior but his companion is entirely silent, guiding him towards a crop of trees that offer some semblance of privacy.

“How long have you borne this?” Lan Zhan asks once they stop walking, his golden eyes bright and fierce, “How long have you endured without speaking a word to me or your friends?”

“All my life,” He rolls his eyes, “You know Jiang Cheng has a temper and says careless things, Lan Zhan. Don’t worry, I know how to handle him.”

“All your life?” Somehow, Lan Zhan seems stricken, “Wei Ying!”

“Aiya, Lan Zhan,” Honestly, he is moved by Lan Zhan’s concern for him. They have spent so many years just quarreling and being distrustful towards each other. The concern is a pleasant distraction from the wretched state of their relationship, “Don’t worry about it. I can deal with everything Jiang Cheng throws at me.”

“How can you be so callous about your own well-being?” Lan Zhan asks, his tone betraying his dismay, “Do you not care-” He visibly bites back those angry words and calms himself, his voice taking on a gentler note, “Did you think I would not help? That your friends wouldn’t offer you shelter or protection?”

Really, this is a bit of an overreaction, isn’t it?

“Do I really have any friends left, Lan Zhan?” He asks casually but the reaction he receives is anything but casual. Lan Zhan’s eyes widen as though he has been struck, “Aiya, please don’t look like that,” Wei Wuxian feels a stir of panic because Lan Zhan looks almost hurt, “I’m just being a brat.”

“Have a care,” Lan Zhan says, “Your dismissal of this matter doesn’t put me at ease.”

“Lan Zhan,” He sighs, “I’m used to it. You saw how we were at Cloud Recesses. Did I look unusually troubled then?”

“You’ve become… accustomed to it?” Lan Zhan asks, once again looking uncharacteristically stricken. Wei Wuxian feels a stir of concern in his stomach and reaches out, placing a hand on the Second Jade’s arm, “You’re accustomed to it.”

Not knowing what to do in response to such open emotion from Lan Zhan, he looks for something to distract him. Immediately, his mind remembers an old promise, “Let’s focus on something more pleasant. It’s about time you saw Lotus Pier in its full glory, Lan Zhan! I want to show you all of my favorite places, including all of the trees I climbed!”

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan’s voice is low and pained.

Wei Wuxian’s smile softens as he tugs on the Second Jade’s arm, “Don’t think of unpleasant things, Lan Zhan. It’s a beautiful day and we haven’t seen each other in months! Let’s be happy, alright?”

Wei Wuxian feels a jolt of surprise as Lan Zhan raises a hand and covers his fingers, squeezing gently. The touch is warm and reassuring, and it sets Wei his heart racing.

Lan Zhan studies him for a long moment before dipping his head elegantly, his grip on Wei Wuxian’s fingers still firm and steady, “If Wei Ying wishes it,” He promises, “I will make it so.”

Oh.

---

It all comes to a head at the Discussion Conference. Wei Wuxian is accustomed to being the center of attention these days but the quality of that attention is different now. Instead of wary glances, he sees eyes filled with sympathy and tentative smiles of welcome.

Wei Wuxian being Wei Wuxian, ignores the nagging suspicion that lingers at the back of his mind and smiles brightly back at them.

That seems to make things worse because the looks of sympathy seem to somehow intensify. He even sees a few women blink their limpid eyes and turn away, as though disguising tears. Somewhat alarmed, he glances at Jiang Cheng and winces.

His martial brother is bristling with anger. There’s a thundercloud-like expression on his face as he meets every eye in the room with a clear challenge.

If glances towards him are filled with sympathy, those towards Jiang Cheng are filled with contempt and disapproval. Between that and Lan Zhan’s protective hovering, Wei Wuxian is at the end of his patience.

He needs answers and he needs them now before the situation can escalate somehow.

Baffled by the situation, Wei Wuxian looks around and finds the most reliable source of gossip he can find. “What is going on?” He demands as soon as he is at Nie Huiasang’s side, “Why are people glaring at Jiang Cheng like he’s a fierce corpse?”

Nie Huaisang waves his fan, his expression a strange mix of amusement and grim satisfaction. For one, his old friend doesn’t hide behind his usual prevarications. He glances around the room and seems to catch someone’s eye. Wei Wuxian follows that gaze only to blink as Lan Zhan walks sedately towards them, expression stern and disapproving, “Do you know what’s going on, Lan Zhan?”

The Second Jade remains silent, his eyes fixed on Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian sighs in frustration and glares at Nie Huaisang, “Nie-xiong, what?”

His curt tone is enough to snape Nie Huaisang out of his musings. The man smiles wryly behind his fan, “Ah, Wei-xiong,” He waves his free hand, “There has been some speculation about your relationship with-”

“Why don’t you speak up?” A loud voice asks and Wei Wuxian turns around, “Why don’t you defend Wei Wuxian, Jiang-zongzhu? You’re going to let people slander your loyal Head Disciple so boldly?”

It’s Wang Jin, the Sect Leader of Runan Wang Clan. The man’s face is twisted in rage and disgust as he stares at Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian frowns, ready to step forward and stand by Jiang Cheng in such a hostile environment.

Lan Zhan’s hand on his arm stops him.

He looks at the Second Jade questioningly but the man just shakes his head, “Wait.”

“Why should he defend him?” An annoying Jin pipes up, his voice sharp and mocking, “We know what Wei Wuxian is! He may pretend to be loyal on the surface, but he is nothing but a faithless dog-”

“Jin Zixun!” Nie Mingjue snaps, “I will not have you insult one of our men in my presence! He fought and bled on our side.”

Nie Mingjue’s words silence him and Jin Guangyao speaks up soothingly as Wei Wuxian frowns, studying the scene with keen eyes, “Let us all calm down. I’m sure Wang-zongzhu means well.” He smiles placidly, “There have been rumors, just a bit of gossip about Wei-gongzi speaking ill of Jiang-zongzhu.” Wei Wuxian tilts his head to the side, mind whirling.

He refuses to be angry. There’s something about this situation that has his instincts rattled. He needs to focus.

“The Hanguang-jin himself said they were lies. Wei Wuxian has never spoken ill of Jiang Wanyin!” Well, that’s not entirely true. He is certain he has called Jiang Cheng a temperamental brat in Lan Zhan’s presence more than once. “Jiang-zongzhu should know better than to-”

“Why does Jiang-zongzhu need to do anything for that man?” Jin Zixun demands and Wei Wuxian feels a stir of amusement. All of this drama on his account? He’s honored.

“What kind of Sect Leader is he?” Wang-zongzhu asks, fuming, “If he doesn’t even defend his own Head Disciple? Has he not brought glory to YungmengJiang? Doesn’t the Sect owe him a debt of gratitude?” Wei Wuxian winces and Jiang Cheng’s expression turns stony, “If you want to talk of rumors, why not discuss the other rumors?” Wang-zongzhu turns to Jiang Cheng with a scowl, “Is he not your brother in all but blood? Didn’t the former Jiang-zongzhu raise Wei Wuxian as his nephew? Is this how YunmengJiang treats its brightest disciple? How will you face Jiang Fengmian, Jiang-zongzhu?”

Wei Wuxian bites back a groan as Jiang Cheng’s expression darkens with fury. This is the absolute worst thing to say to his martial brother.

“Why is he so concerned about this?” Wei Wuxian asks, almost to himself.

Nie Huiasang leans in and whispers in his ear, “His sisters were… assaulted by the Wens.”

Wei Wuxian feels a shudder crawl down his spine and shakes his head. Those disgusting wretches deserved the death he inflicted on them.

He still doesn’t understand what this has to do with him.

He glances at Lan Zhan, he is looking at the scene with his usual frosty expression, giving nothing away. He looks ahead to see Jiang Cheng ready to erupt and frowns. “Lan Zhan, I need to… help, somehow.”

“Wei Ying needs to do nothing.”

He’s about to protest when Jiang Cheng finally snaps, “Glory to YunmengJiang? He has brought nothing but devastation to it!” Wei Wuxian flinches and Lan Zhan steps forward and to the side, pointedly placing himself between the two Jiang Sect cultivators, “YunmengJiang has always been glorious. My ancestors bled and fought for it! We earned our glory through centuries of cultivation and diligence! I owe him a debt? Wei Wuxian owes me the lives of my parents! He provoked the Wens to save Lan Wangji’s life and I lost my family because of it!”

“Jiang-zongzhu, perhaps-”

“Shut up!” Jiang Cheng interrupted Jin Guangyao, “How I treat my Head Disciple is none of your business.”

“It is very much our business if you’re abusing him,” Nie Mingjue says and it silences everyone.

Wei Wuxian is… dumbfounded. He feels like he’s just a mass of confusion at this point because nothing about this situation makes sense. “Abuse?” He whispers harshly to Nie Huaisang, grabbing his arm to drag him away to a quieter corner, “Nie Huaisang, what is going on? Jiang Cheng doesn’t abuse me!”

“Does he not?” It is Lan Zhan who speaks, his expression solemn, “Truly, Wei Ying? Does he not abuse you?”

“Of course, not-”

“So he didn’t threaten you with Zidian?” Nie Huaisang asks, “Or try to physically intimidate you while you were clearly trying to step away?”

Wei Wuxian frowns, “Well yes, but that is just him being angry! He does that all the time.”

“That is no comfort to us.” Lan Zhan says stiffly.

“Didn’t he push you away several times? We have accounts from people who saw you fall to the ground.” Nie Huaisang’s expression is unusually stern, “Didn’t he seek to isolate you from everyone? Didn’t he keep telling you Wangji-xiong hated you?”

“Wangji-xiong gave every impression of hating me.” Wei Wuxian firmly denies, “Let us not attribute that particular error to someone else.”

“Indeed,” Lan Zhan nods graciously, as expected. He wouldn’t be Lan Zhan if he didn’t accept his own mistakes without hesitation.

“Wei-xiong,” Nie Huaisang tucks his fan away and he sees Lan Zhan focus on that, his eyes suddenly sharp, “He has been saying the same thing since you were at Cloud Recesses. He has always dragged you away from Lan Wangji. You saved Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan’s lives. Why is he so intent on our Second Jade, hmm?”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head, “You’re making this unnecessarily complicated.” He says, “On the surface, all of these actions appear wrong but the intent behind them isn’t cruel.”

“Your love for him blinds you.” Wei Wuxian narrows his eyes sharply at his old friend, “If er-ge treated Wangji-xiong like that, you’d be furious. Just the threat of da-ge whipping would have you reaching for your flute.”

“Huaisang-”

“Did you think we wouldn’t feel the same way?”

Wei Wuxian studies him and Lan Zhan, realizing they are utterly serious. Concerned and a bit baffled, he looks at Jiang Cheng over his shoulder, only to find him nose to nose with Wang-zongzhu. “Heavens,” He breathes and steps forward, determined to intervene.

“You think what?” Jiang Cheng’s voice is full of disgust, “You… you think I have… that I’m some disgusting cutsleeve?!”

Wait, what?

“How dare you?! I would never touch a man!”

“Is that what he’s focusing on?” Nie Huaisang asks incredulously.

For once, Wei Wuxian has nothing to say.

---

It takes a few weeks for fresh rumors to make their rounds. People now know that Jiang Wanyin hasn’t behaved inappropriately with his martial brother, but that doesn’t make much difference.

The cultivation world, in general, still believes that Jiang Cheng’s behavior is abhorrent. Wei Wuxian is tempted to point out the hypocrisy of their words but knows it is futile. Once the masses make up their minds about something, few can persuade them to think otherwise. Jiang Cheng’s reputation has been tainted forever and there’s little they can do about it.

Unfortunately, this issue has also cemented the break between Wei Wuxian and his Sect Leader. There’s nothing that can repair the relationship now. He feels a pang of loss but he had already resigned himself to that when he had given away his Golden Core.

Fortunately, it seems he has some options available.

“Come to Gusu with me,” Lan Zhan says, his tone softer, his voice imploring, “Please.” This time, Wei Wuxian can’t mistake his intent. Lan Zhan’s reaction to the entire mess made one thing very clear to him.

Lan Wangji cares about him.

Isn’t that something? Never in his life did Wei Wuxian think he would be in such a position. He had always assumed Jiang Cheng would be by his side and Lan Wangji would stand against him. But everything is different now.

Wei Wuxian thinks of his childhood home, thinks of a life that has been irrevocably changed, and sinks in those memories for a brief moment. Despite what everyone thinks, there have been some good times. He doesn’t regret the course his life took when he was welcomed to the Lotus Pier by Jiang Fengmian.

He lingers, briefly, on regret,

Then, he shrugs it off and looks into the golden eyes of his future with a grin, “I’ll come to Gusu with you, Lan Zhan.”

And that’s that.