#did you guys know i love light & wholes part in light & the parallels in everything

[synthshenanigans]

something something the window in light & night is a mirror and its all just been Whole looking in a mirror thinking about himself/his brain

[theroundbartable]

(sending hugs)

what are your thoughts about aithusa? personally i love her way to much, but she rarely comes up in fandom discourse

HEY :D Thoughts about AIthusa, huh? I have many of those. Thoughts, I mean. In my brain. They like to swim around and create a whole mess of things sometimes.

I think the reason why Aithusa doesn't come up in fandom discourse often is because there isn't very much to say. Aithusa was born, then color coded as a sign for the golden future of Camelot and was then abandoned by Merlin. Tortured by a crazy guy. Then raised by Morgana and used to create the sword that later killed Arthur. Whenever they come up in fandom discouse, it's mostly about Merlin doing his job as Dragon Lord right or wrong. But you wanted my thoughts, so I'm gonna allow my head to spin weird shit around the ungendered Dragon. (That is why I will use they/them pronouns for Aithusa.) When it comes to Aithusa's name, not the canon translation, I mean what it literally means, it's hard to find, since they used old English for the language of magic, and I think Greek for the language of the Dragon Lords (which doesn't necessarily have to apply to the Dragon names) and I haven't seen anyone make a post about it. All I get from Google translate is "Hey you" in Gaelic and that's a bit useless. Or well, this:

The automatic language recognition in Google would let me interpret Aithusa as a gift to the world. Or Arthur, depending on your shipping interests. Or, you know, if I could make up the Old English maybe pseudo-parts of the word (the writers were very lazy in BBC Merlin, they are literally quoting Beowulf when Merlin magics the blue ball in the poisoned chalice.). Something fitting I found in my old English dictionary is agan, meaning to possess, and to own, and thus (spelled with a thorn which my keyboard doesn't have) meaning as follows. So, in my absolutely amateurish and interpretational, and way too far reaching ways, I would say Aithusa could mean: A(gan) thus (a): To own the future.

(Again, you asked for my thoughts, this is not canon and probably pointless, I just needed to go down this route first.)

In the fandom wiki, we find THESE informations on Aithusa.

So, things we do know are very few

Aithusa is a baby

Aithusa was tortured and is therefore crippled

Aithusa cannot talk

Aithusa probably has Stockholm Syndrom because of Morgana

But you know, I think it's very interesting to know that Aithusa is the Light of the Sun, the literal sign for a Golden Future and that very sign can be hurt by a mere human. Not only does this mean that humans can kill Dragons (the Dragon lore doesn't make any sense, I swear to god) but it's also meant to be symbolism. Merlin, just like Arthur, is shown to be his own doom through Aithusa. They are hidden, tortured, kept from living their truth, abandoned by everyone who should be leading and protecting them.

With Aithusa being born it means that at that point, Merlin had already fulfilled his destiny. At this point in time, the golden age is already there and it should have been a sign for Merlin to speak up about his magic. He never did, that's why Aithusa remains mute. And just like magic itself, when harmed or in danger, Aithusa can easily be used for evil.

Apart from the symbolism and their part in Arthur's death, Aithusa doesn't contribute much to the story, I think. Yes, they console Morgana and they are like the continuation of the Dragon lineage, but that's ultimately pointless. Aithusa will be, inevitably, be the last Dragon. Which is honestly really cruel, but again, parallel to Merlin himself. That's where Aithusa's arc ends, unfortuntaley. Personally, knowing all that, I find Aithusa hard to use as the character they are in canon. With what little defines their character, you have to ultimately change everything about them to use them in fun fics and comics and stuff. That's why they end up as a little dog creature so often.

Don't get me wrong, I love Aithusa. But I love FANON Aithusa, just like I prefer fanon Sir Leon over canon Sir Leon. Because fanon Aithusa is like a domesticated chicken that Merlin keeps in his rooms or fights custody over with Morgana while Arthur is either oblivious, supportive, or being gaslit. But maybe I am overlooking a lot of things. So, if any of you like to disagree or add anything to my points, feel free to engage ^^

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Monday lovely fandom. Lots to love about this one. Their opening scene is *chefs kiss* Some good Metro Tim. Really good Tim SL in general. Love this episode it’s fantastic for a lot of reasons. Let us begin shall we?

5x19 A Hole in the World.

We start off with some domestic Chenford and I’m here for it. Gimme. Lucy is studying in what looks to be one of Tim’s shirts. *squee* Pen in her bun looking all kinds of adorable. Tim stumbles out of her bedroom looking dead on his feet. Lucy having coffee ready for her sleepy boyfriend is everything. Her soft voice and excited features when she sees him is so precious. Gah she loves this man.

Ecstatic she gets to see him before work. Spend a little time together. She asks when he got in? Tim replying depends on what day it is? Ha Poor tired Tim. Lucy shooting back 'That bad huh?' Tim saying he’s eighty percent sure it’s Thursday LOL Lucy crushing his dreams telling him it’s Tuesday….His face is too funny. Poor man needs a day off in bed and snuggle time with his wife.

Lucy asks him what he was working on last night? I just love the whole feel in this scene. Him waking up all sleepy. Lucy is there happy to greet him. Little banter. Asking about what he’s working on. Married vibes in this moment. Lucy saying she stayed up incase she would catch him. Hoping the guy would turn himself in. Risking losing sleep to see her man. My Heart.

Tim says he did show up though. Showing her his battle scar. I saw a great parallel about this moment. That in past she had to ask if he was ok. Now he just shares it with her. She doesn't have to wonder. *happy sigh* Then we get the most glorious thing of all she calls him ‘Babe.’ Which I absolutely love. I think it’s so fitting for her to call him this. Unpopular opinion alert. I hate ‘baby.’ I legit cringe when I see it in a fic. Will straight bounce if it’s used to death as well. Just doesn’t seem like them IMO.

Babe seems much more fitting. Until I hear that word come out of either of their mouths. (Not counting Dim/Juicy) I can’t accept it as canon in my brain. Anyways that rant is over ha I love the concern and the way she softly touches his wound. Wanting to fix it for him. Can we talk about the tight fitting tank top and scruff? My god this man is trying to kill me. Sleepy scruffy Tim in his jams is welcome anytime. Give me more tank top Tim as well while we're at it. Loving that he has a hoodie there when he wakes up.

Which lends credence to my drawer theory. Man is keeping clothes there. I’m melting from all of these things at once. This is a fantastic opening scene for them. I love the way he shows her his wound first thing. Wanting her to make it better. The softest of humans around his girl. The way she gently touches it has me reeling. You know part of him showed her so she’d love on him a bit. Lucy jumped all over that and a sweet pet name to boot. I’m in heaven.

Lucy mentioning it was confident of this guy to try and take on 5 metro officers. I'm losing my mind over how once Tim is seated he’s not close enough for her. So Lucy pulls him even closer. Personal space wasn’t a word they knew before they were together. It’s non existent now that they are. Lucy lights up like a Christmas tree once he’s in front of her. Look at her above. Best thing to happen to her morning is him being there.

That line from 2x05 'They look so happy. I want that.' Now she has it and it looks good on her. Tim’s content ‘Mmm' and head tilt has me melting after she pulls him closer. His sweet gone for her smile and rubbing her arm. I'm a puddle. He is just as happy to be near her. Literally so content to share a quiet morning with his girl *internal screaming* They’re so adorable they might kill me. I’ll be writing the remaining reviews from the great beyond. So damn soft I’m on a cloud.

Once Tim is able to tear himself from her loving gaze he sees she’s studying. Genuinely confused asking what this is all is? I love her playful hit. Thinking he's pulling her leg. Tim is so baffled by this. She reminds him she’s studying for the detectives exam. Then questioning if she told him. I mean she might’ve but the man is sleep deprived and doesn’t know what day it is so...LOL

Tim replying he doesn’t think so? Lucy explaining why she’s going for it. Tim asking if she got the tap? Lucy is beaming when she tells him Harper and Lopez are backing her. (Of course they are. They know what a BAMF she is) Lucy looks so excited to share this news with him. Look at how proud he is of her. Exuding from that sexy smile of his. These are the moments where he’s that big softy for her.

Look at this love struck man. So proud of her he can’t stand it. Lucy starting with a little bit of self doubt. Saying with skepticism all she has to do is score in the top 12. Tim cuts her off before she can doubt herself any further. Saying she will. He knows how good of a test taker she is. Also how incredibly intelligent she is. He is her biggest fan and makes my heart so happy. Something that hasn’t changed from friends to more. Tim’s unwavering faith she will be amazing. No doubt in his mind about her crushing this.

From day one all he’s wanted is for her to succeed. To have an amazing career. Such the supportive husband not letting her doubt herself at all. I love her ‘Mmm’ as she leans in for their kiss. Heart eyes galore for him. Knowing that’s what he’s doing fo her. Her smile before she goes in for their kiss. *dreamy sigh* Always needing more than one kiss so they sneak in a second one. Forever love that. Such a great shot of a really cute morning kiss.

I adore the look on his face when he pulls back. That whole she fell first he fell harder resonating here in that look. The sweet rubbing of her arm getting me in feels as well. Can't keep his hands off her. Tim saying they better get used to not seeing each other then. Lucy adding in sadly yes. Between his hours and detective hours it'll be harder. Can see the sadness wash over her. Just as devastated by this idea as she was at the end of 5x12. Hating the idea of being apart from him so much. I do love Tim’s confidence it’ll be ok though.

Reminds me of Lucy’s in 5x12 and her talk with Tamara. Saying how they’d figure it out and they did. Little rocky but they did. This is a new obstacle for them to overcome is all. I love his wink at her when he tells her they’ll figure it out. It is fun to see their dynamic shift a little bit. Lucy being worried they’ll see less of each other. The worry is etched on her face. Tim being the positive one blows me away. Knowing they got this. Now that doesn’t mean they don’t need to have a deeper convo about this.

They for sure do. But I adore the depth of change in this man. With Lucy by his side there isn’t much he isn’t willing to do to figure it out. What happens when you are truly and unconditionally loved. Lucy has brought out this entirely new side of him and I love it so very much. Also it’s good for them to have these issues to work through. It’ll be productive for them even if it hurts a little along the way. Why productive angst is the best. Hurts so good and all that.

Nothing I love more than watching Tim in Metro mode. Hot damn. Fair warning he makes me very feral in this section. I have no regrets. Grey has looped in Tim and his team to watch Joel. Surveil him since he is a huge person of interest. Something about the the way he commands his team. Does things to me. Watching how he has plans in place.

Communicates everything so seamlessly. Just the complete control he has over this OP got me all hot and bothered not gonna lie. This case is serious but I can’t ignore how much I love watching him in the field. Especially with Metro. Phew lord. So much certainty in his commands and decisions. Crossed my legs couple times watching him in action not gonna lie LOL

We haven’t really gotten to see him on a mission yet. Be apart of patrol's mission's yes. But run his own OP that is exclusively Metro that we get to see? Haven't gotten that. I loved being able to watch him in his new element. Making calls on the fly as the situation develops. Then we get to see how he reacts under massive pressure running a team. He is watching Joel and it's obvious he is trying to split his team up. Tim can see his play from a mile away. Tim decides last minute to split them up in case. His seasoned gut coming into play in this decision. He's such a damn boss in this portion. Fanning myself as I watch him run this OP.

If you can watch him in this portion and not be turned on by his boss leadership I'm shocked.... and you're probably lying to yourself. LMAO Man is making me very thirsty in this scene. Just watching him have absolute control over everything around him is incredibly attractive. I need some water. *phew* We watch the hard choices he has to make during this OP. Joel has taken a motorcycle and they’re chasing him.

It’s getting more dangerous the faster he goes to get away. One of his guys is in pursuit and says he can keep up with him. The issue is he's in a car and Joel is not. Tim lets him pursue Joel till it gets too risky. Joel is going 130 entering the free way on that motorcycle. Tim makes the call to pull the plug despite some protest from his guy. He does as Tim tells him to and backs off.

He can't ensure no collateral damage due to the pursuit. Can't have an innocent family possibly get hurt to do it. Having to let him go despite wanting to pursue him. We can see how having to make this call frustrates Tim. It was the right call but damn it sucks. Once again love watching him in the field. Imma need more Metro Tim OP's in s6 writers just an FYI.

We return to Lucy at the station. They were able to locate Joel at an abandoned house. The kid was saved and removed thankfully. Sadly Tim had to shoot Joel once they entered and located him. He died on the scene. Didn’t leave him any choice in the matter. The shakiness in Lucy’s voice kills me as she approaches Nyla. Needing her guidance in this moment. Very stressed Tim still isn't back from IA yet.

She’s so worried about Tim and her anxiety is coming off her in waves. Harper being the amazing human can see this. She is tells her it’s ok. Harper can see how unsettled Lucy is. So she tries to calm her with some logic. Telling her that these types of interviews with IA are very through. They take awhile. That Tim will be fine. Lucy still looks like she hasn’t taken a breath though. That she can't do that till he's in her sights.

Tim makes his way into the bullpen and Lucy looks on verge of tears for him. That pull to go towards him is innate. Harper stops her when she sees Lucy move towards him. Telling her to let him talk to Grey first. She loves him so much. The look in her eyes when she sees him and her eyes follow him across the room. Ugh. My heart. Worried girlfriend mode has been activated and she can’t turn it off. There is just so much love in her expression and intense worry. A deep need to automatically make this better for him.

We can see how much she is longing to be near him. Wants to wrap him up in her arms and erase his pain. You can feel the anxiety coursing through her as she watches him make his way to Grey’s office. No one worries and cares for Tim like Lucy does that’s for sure. Plus her empathy is absorbing it all as well. She’s hurting because he is and it’s killing her to be away from him. But she is good and heeds Nylas advice to let him go for now….

The scene in Grey’s office has me crying. Gah Eric damn you and your amazing acting. He is WRECKED. Absolutely wrecked. Barely keeping it together in front of Wade. You can see the tears brimming in his eyes. He’s so emotional right now and trying so very hard to keep it in check. I'm so glad that they had this scene. Touched on how traumatic this was for Tim. Wasn’t glossed over. This scene showing the impact it had on him. Not only did he take a life but it was another cop's. One who KNEW Tim would have to pull the trigger if he forced his hand. Joel took the cowards way out. Made Tim pay the price for his exit.

Grey can see how distraught he is. The tears in this man’s eyes are breaking me. If Lucy could see this he would be in her arms so quickly. But she isn’t. I'm so glad he saw Wade first he needed this. Was important for Grey to absolve him in this moment. To hear it from someone who was his mentor and superior at one time. Not that Lucy’s opinion or help isn’t valid or wouldn’t help him. It will. He just needed to hear it from Grey first. That what he did was the right thing.

It’s why Harper suggested he see him first. Before she does. Logically Tim knows all the things he’s telling him. But he’s an emotional time bomb right now. So Grey reminds him that he had no choice. That he was dangerous. Tim repeating ‘I know’ because he does. Doesn’t change how he’s feeling though. I love Wade asking if there’s anything he can do? Tim gives his longest answer telling him to let him get back to him. Such a good scene. Broke my heart but damn good.

We return to our lovely couple catching up in the hallway. What a glow up this is I have to say. Going from hiding to Lucy being on his arm in front of the whole bullpen. The PDA in front of the station got me all in my feels. My heart may implode from how happy this makes me. Love her linking arms with one hand and touching his arm with the other. His reply to her question is such growth for him.

Before when he was keyed up he would just be angry. Lash out at those around him or push his feelings down and pretend he was ok. The fact that he can say he’ll be okay is huge. Tells her this calmly too. What a change in him. I remember seeing good parallel for this. His answer to Nell in 1x12 deflecting 'Yeah' and his reply to Angela in 2x11 when he was upset raging out. That he was fine just needed to blow off steam. With Lucy he's honest and doesn't deflect or explode. How far we've come.

Makes a massive difference when you’re loved by the right person. Lucy tries to be super soft in her approach. It’s why she’s does the soft touch first. It disarms him and she can speak her anxiety. Let out all the advice she’s been dying to say since he got back. Wanting so badly to soothe his raging emotions. Tim cuts her off and says it’s not the first time for him. Being bristly at first because it is still a default mode for him. Grown a lot but still getting used to the love and support of this woman next to him.

Lucy doesn’t let it stop her from being extra soft with him. She looks like she just wants absorb all his pain. Her eyes screaming as much as she touches her hand to his heart. Telling him she just wants to be helpful. Desperate to absolve him of this. He immediately melts at her touch and reverts back to soft Tim. Especially with her motives being so damn pure and in favor of helping him heal. Two episodes in a row she soothes him with just a simple touch. God I love them.

Tim thanks her eternally grateful for this woman in front of him. That she loves him and cares enough to do so. Put him first even when he’s slightly bristly still. Just like before they were together she doesn’t care if he is. Her main objective is to take care of him. He rubs her arm in the same affectionate manner as he did in their morning scene. This sweet touch speaking volumes for him. He’s so used to doing this stuff alone. To not have someone to be there in the aftermath.

But having her there for him changes everything. That realization melting his bristly reply from earlier. Heart eyes for days the two of them. In front of the entire station and I can’t get over it. Lucy giving him massive ones in reply to his thank you. Wanting so much to just make it better for him. Feeling like she isn't doing enough to help him though this. It's the way her body sags in that third gif. Wishing there was more she could do for him.

Tim needing the distraction from his emotions asking if she needs help? We watch Lucy melt like a puddle in front of him in the second gif. Loving him asking her if she needs it. Because despite the distraction it provides he genuinely wants to help her. Then we get a glorious call back to 2x02. Him basically recognizing all she did for him then in this moment. Knowing he wouldn’t be a sergeant without her. Without the books she recorded for him. Helping him study etc. Getting verbal recognition all these years later from him.

I too am a puddle Lucy. Not only recognizing her for what she did but telling her he wouldn’t have gotten score he did without her. (He really wouldn't have...) It’s here we see the scene go from serious to flirty as hell. Lucy touching his chest once again with her finger. Saying that’s true he owes her. Lucy seems so excited by this idea. Ready to cash in this long owed debt of his. Tim is smiling when she pokes him. Not an agitated bone in that man's body over this.

Tim is sassy af in his reply. Telling her he doesn’t owe her. Even though he was just a marshmallow and admitted as such moments ago... The flirty way she grabs his jacket. Oh my lord. The look in her eye as she walks away. Eyeing his lips and pulling on his jacket. Sweet lord this man is powerless before her. He knows it. Doesn’t fight her very long just says ‘Okay’ and goes after his girl. Never seen a man be so happy to be whipped in my life.

He is so ok that she runs this relationship for most part. We all know he actually loves this. Assertive Lucy is one of his favorites. Look at Lucy giving the orders and Tim following her lead no question. How times have changed folks. Broke his brain once again and all he can do is be in awe and follow after her. Such a goner for her and he’s very happy with this setup.

Follows her like a lost puppy out the door. Only Lucy could bring him back from the brink like this. Go from being upset and in his head to chasing after her. I love the amount of flirty sex talk these to have without ever really saying so. It’s amazing. Lucy definitely is owed a debt my god. He’s the one who passed the test but not without her help. Just like in 4x18 a debt is owed sir LOL Damn I love these two so very much it’s insane. S5 was a glorious gift. Kept on giving. Also if you’re needing a post 5x19 fic. D wrote an excellent one I highly recommend.

~~~~

Side notes -non Chenford

Lucy is so excited when she runs up to Harper at the station. Ready to sign up for the detectives exams. Telling Nyla she’s ready for this test. Harper is beaming saying she has no doubt. Then Smitty comes up and ruins everything. Saying one of the defective have out it out for her. We knew the 5 player trade could bite her… and it looks like it has Primm found out and isn’t happy about it. Be interesting to see how this will develop on s6.

Aaron’s face when Lucy calls herself one of the cool kids LOL hey man she is... haha

This Ep is Sooo good reminds me why I love this show as a whole. So emotional with Celina’s SL. Makes me cry thinking about my niece and nephew. There would be scorched earth for whoever got between me and them. This was the ep really made me love Celina. I wasn’t sure at first but this changed that. Her forgiving her mom is huge. Makes me cry.

I love Lucy being a BAMF with that offender. Putting him right in his own place when he gets defensive about it being harassment. Never be over how she's come into her own as a cop.

Angela looking up air tagging her kids LOL love her I really do haha

Thank you to my amazing readers who like, comment (love these) and reblogs. You are the reason I do what I do. I shall see you all in 5x20 :)

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S05E15 - Northern Rexposure - Part B

*me: *watching this episode* That's not my show. Jesse: *starts rambling about flying the plane because he has flown planes on a flight simulator* me: Oh, wait, that's actually my show.

Well, I've never paused here before but look at Rex's "we are so fucked" look!

Sarah's style is sexy-with-a-hint-of-I-may-die-today.

I'm assuming that Jesse's plan was to take off and reach a tower that could direct him on how to land this bird. Too bad the bad guy shot the fuel tank.

This, then the helicopter ride... Dude, how much money did they give you guys? I haven't seen them fly anything bigger than a drone before this or since then.

Oh, I forgot. That was the last we saw of Jesse's glasses. RIP Jesse's glasses. Welcome, laser operation. Speaking as a bespectacled person, I don't really care about this one way or another. I'm sure they had reasons for this. The main one being that glasses reflect everything and are not ideal for filming. Not to mention that if they were to have Jesse more on the field, not having glasses is a good idea. I assume it's also part of his character's journey, although I don't agree that removing your glasses is a sign of growth. That's a childish notion, as there are many reasons for sticking to glasses instead of contacts or not opting for laser surgery.

Incoming Sarah whump, but first... Sarah desperation. I love it.

I don't know if they meant to make a parallel of this with Charlie because they both were obsessively working on their cases on their own time.

That's a very sexy way to be sprawled there while spouting off evidence from a more than a decade cold case. Just saying.

I've been giving Charlie a lot of flack (most of it deserved) but in this case, it's his persistence to keep pursuing leads that causes Bertrand to have a crisis of conscience and call him, thus causing a chain of events that ultimately lead to finding Alison.

Dying, thank you for caring.

Jesse whump.

Just say what you're afraid of the most. That Charlie would kill all three of you if Rex was killed for this.

I was doing fine until this.

I think that Rex had probably smelled that something was wrong with Sarah.

This episode should be called "The One Where Rex Does A Lassie".

I'll just fill my wallpapers lol

Jesse totally got all the braincells from the two. What do you mean, "really good to you"? You almost died because of him! Not to mention the whole committing a crime thing.

Oh, it's starting.

By the way, I like Sarah whump but I don't want them to overdo it because the more times they do it, the more some genius might come up with an excuse to kill her for Charlie's manpain. We don't really use manpain a lot on this show but you never know.

In any case, when the opportunity for Sarah whump presents itself, I want Charlie to. Be. Close. By. I mean, what's this bullshit with him being hundreds (thousands?) of miles away?

Get away from my boy!

Poor Rex! That is a scary fucker.

For fucks sake, Charlie. Rex is being hunted by predators, Sarah is dying, Jesse is banged up, and you're here and you're... looking good? The audacity.

Should have some more lighting, by the way.

No, actually.

Can't, sorry. Anyway, this is a very Castle moment. (show, not character)

I mean, dude, look at him (as much as you can). Don't you see the determination? He won't give up. Just fess up, man.

"I'm never traveling again!"

To be continued in Part C.

[inators]

LINK TO ORIGINAL COMMENT BY @erizumon

TRANSLATION:

This introduction made me feel a special warmth inside, especially when I see them being so loving with each other, it's one of those things that simply make me smile 😊 What beautiful love, it makes me cry haha

And it's even more beautiful to see Heinz so dedicated to Perry, oh my god, we all deserve a Heinz in our lives.

「How did... you find me?」

Ooh, first uncomfortable question.

Well done there Heinz, it's better to give Perry time before subjecting him to stress that he's not ready to deal with yet, not to mention that everything that happened with Lawrence is already a pretty heavy topic on its own.

"Forever and a day, then,"

HE SAID IT, HE SAID IIIT HE SAID THE PHRASE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! shrieks like a hedgehog LEX YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME CRY WOMAN TTATT AAAAAAAH!!! }

DUDE THIS MAKES THE SALVATION FIC EVEN STRONGER, BECAUSE PERRY DID FULFILL THAT PROMISE. MY GOD THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!

≫ ���─── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

[ He counted each precious breath ]

The fact that those two did exactly the same thing in parallel situations when they feel their lives ending at that moment, makes a part of my heart feel another nice warmth in my chest. I swear that the more I read, the more I remember Salvation and I don't know if it was intentional or not, but if not, it's a beautiful coincidence.

The truth is... It was much harder to say something about this here. Mainly because this whole situation is much more difficult to explain. Seeing Perry so terrified but at the same time assimilating step by step what's going to happen now that his secrets have come to light weighs on your soul. Because it's not just telling his cousin that he can no longer be part of the family, but on top of that, his nephews will have to lose their uncle a second time and god, seeing Ferb like this breaks my heart even more.

I WANT TO HUG HIM TIGHTLY Q_Q AAAAAHHH BABY!!! But damn, as I read more I applaud Heinz for being Perry's rock in a moment of need this time. If it wasn't because I know everything will turn out okay thanks to Forever and a Day, I swear I'd be crying worse than I am now.

Poor Perry, seeing him suffer kills you and seeing Lawrence break down because he'll lose his brother when he was so close to seeing him die weighs on me even more.

All our hearts broke, Perry... All of us.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

Reading this part hurt me a lot, mainly because Peter is one of my favorite characters, but I understand that everyone has their own interpretation of Peter and if the idea is to make him hated, you certainly achieved it. However, I like to believe that deep down Peter isn't so bad, he's just an idiot.

An idiot who, despite everything, did what he had to do. So at least as an agent, he never failed. At least I want to take that away from him.

I hate you Peter.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

You know Francis? Of all the characters I ever came to hate when I got into this part of the fandom, with you it was pretty instantaneous, I don't know if it's because maybe you're often portrayed as much stupider than you really are or if it's because your way of acting borders on cruelty.

But without a doubt, you always make me remember the exact reason why I have you as a villain in my own fic. Because not even for your stupid best agent are you capable of behaving like a human being.

You're disgusting Monogram.

Look you son of a bitch, even Peter who is an idiot with a capital letter has two grams of empathy that you lack, of course, maybe it's not in your power to change Perry's situation, but what a shitty thing on your part to act like this towards the guy who has saved your ass more than once and you don't hesitate to behave like shit even in front of who you know... SAVED YOUR FUCKING BEST AGENT, MY GOD, MY URGE TO CRY HAS TURNED INTO FUCKING DOG RAGE MY GOD starts cursing in Mexican

GO TO HELL MONOGRAM!!!!

Inhale... And Exhale

Let's go, with several points here, I think and I say I THINK knowing that I could be totally wrong but, even I felt that little disturbance in the earth when Heinz asks if they knew each other. Honestly, it does feel like there's a hint of a deeper story, so as the perfect gossip that I am, I'll wait for more updates on that drama.

And Harvey, I love you. We share the same neuron.

Reading everything else made me explode with excitement at the idea that MAJOR CORPORATE GOSSIP IS COMING HERE, DAMN!!! Because if the dirty laundry that the agency definitely wants to keep hidden was mentioned, it's because sooner or later it will be discovered AND I'LL HAPPILY WAIT FOR THAT DAY.

On the other hand, putting aside my stupid brain, I must say that... If I already loved Harvey, now I just want to kiss him after everything he did to get here, even when there was a risk of losing his job he stood firm in what was really his duty and didn't abandon one of his own, he held his head high until the end and I'm sure he'll be a great agent in the future, so I just hope to see how you'll develop the character in the future because as far as I'm concerned, he has moved up into my top 5 favorite characters in this fic.

Oh Heinz... When you have faith, you make me have it too and that hurts me, because I feel it will be horrible when faith fails and I don't know if I'm prepared for what's coming.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

This was the part I wasn't ready for.

It took me a while to follow it, because, of all the times I've seen Perry reveal his secrets, this is the one that has made me cry the most, because here there's no magical answer for everything, no incredibly convenient solution, there's nothing.

Just the inevitable farewell to a part that will die with them, a new perspective of the other and a relationship that can never be. Because as Perry said, it wasn't fair that when he finally could give them the answers he so longed to give, they were taken away from him, it wasn't fair to see someone important to him die, because... how many people, lives or loves would he have to lose for the world to be satisfied? How much more would he have to give of himself for a better world? Damn, I felt a part of my heart break with Perry's and if I ever felt any sympathy for the agency, now it has certainly died completely for me.

Forever and a Day is being my consolation now Lex, IT'S THE ONE THAT REMINDS ME NOT TO LOSE MY SANITY HERE TT_TT DAMN IT, I CAN'T HANDLE THIS, I CAN'T STAND IT AAAAAH!!!!

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

I swear for a moment I thought Monogram had done something good when I saw that the message had been sent from Francis's account, but now I love how you completely changed the theory that formed in my head to openly suspect Monogram, I feel like the conspiracy nut who starts suspecting everyone at the slightest sign.

AND I LOVE IT.

On the other hand, I have a theory that I already know who Sig and N are, but I won't say anything for now because I want to be sure, however, this certainly calls for a next part AND I'LL WAIT FOR IT WITH MUCH LOVE!!!

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

The pure and hard satisfaction of seeing Monogram lose his smile gave me a thousand years of life, but seeing Heinz being a little bully in front of Monogram makes me want to scream with pure unattainable emotion.

I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL GENERAL GENDERLECT IS BUT I LOVE HIM.

And you know what's the best thing about all this? That no matter how angry he gets, how much he denies it and even tries to threaten, he can't do anything to change the situation, gosh, this makes up for all the tears I've shed in this chapter.

And as I suspected, Heinz was right to have faith. AND AS LONG AS HE HAS IT, I'LL HAVE IT TOO.

Because as long as they exist, I'll always believe in love.

.....

I discovered this story when you were on chapter 9, in one of the worst moments of my life. I was going through a divorce that had taken a part of me that I'm still trying to recover to this day, I still remember it was three in the morning, when I came across your story, crying because I didn't know why despite having tried to be a good wife I hadn't managed to have my happy ending.

And then your Perry came along and reminded me of the kind of love I want and hope to deserve someday, you reminded me of all the times I fought, cried, screamed in rage when things didn't go the way I wanted and you gave me hope that you can always have a good ending even if it might take a long time to come. Proselytization grew with me, it accompanied me in every part of my recovery journey and gave me the strength to keep going until today. And if it wasn't for this story, maybe I wouldn't be here, writing a fanfic, much less would I have met the lovely people who are precious friends to me today.

You marked a before and after in my life and I'll never have enough days to thank you for this. You are the standard of what I want to be someday, you are the writer who reminds me to never give up and always strive to do better every day, thank you for giving us this wonderful story Lex. Thank you for writing, thank you for existing, thank you for being you.

And I sincerely hope that my life never ends, so I can keep reading you.

[explosionshark]

Okay so my trilogy of new Faithwatch episodes starts naturally with Superstar that works great as a followup to Who Are You and gets to be qualified as part of Faithwatch on three great fronts. Firstly tone, it works great as an emotional cool down following Who Are You they had a ton of fun making this episode, great set design, great sound design. Secondly there is follow up between Buffy and Riley from the event of Who Am I. And thirdly and what is the biggest thing for me is that its at its a core a low stakes redo of Who Am I, both Faith and Johnathan effectively took the role of Buffy for their respective episodes but because Buffy's not as close to it and its a lot lower stakes she can actually offer a sympathetic touch to Johnathan in that closing scene and give him advice to get through it.

Also tangents from this episode, love Anya's shrimp metaphor for alternate universes, Willow and Tara's Johnathan collage and Riley's signed poster of him are very strong gags and shout out I guess to Adam for his scene explaining why he's not affected by the universe swap because he's fully aware of every atom of his being. Also something neat from that scene is him explaining that he exists for chaos (which sure I've barely seen anything from him that really suggests that but I'll believe him) made me realise there's an unintended but neat cycle going on with, Master: Order, Angelus: Chaos, Mayor: Order, Adam: Chaos. Alliterative and repeating, I think I know the last Big Bad is The First Evil which alas does not fit this accidental sequence but there's still two left that might fit it. Oh I can't believe I forgot the OP, just as it started I thought oh it'd be great if they filled this with shots of Johnathan and then they did, it was incredible, I can't believe they still prompted me to skip it.

Five by Five is excellent, love how hard it goes into the Angel is Faith parallels. Love the recontexualising it can give the whole episode that this whole thing was Faith's sucide by Angel attempt. Like throughout the episode I was just assuming this was Faith fully unhinged and off the chain, she's not got trying to look like she's not a murderer, she's not got the Mayor, she's not got having to pretend to be Buffy so she's burying everything she'd been feeling as deep as she could and going for whatever makes her feel good. But with the added context she's just proving she's bad so she can prove she has to die which is a perfect continuation from her status at the end of Who Am I and that closing exchange between Riley and Buffy on her "She's had her fun" "Yeah . . . Fun" the dichotomy of Faith. The best one being the scene with Wolfram and Hart hiring her for the Angel hit the way she lights up, the initial first reading is an easy Angel and her have shared history with Buffy this is a great stab at her and she gets paid and she gets away from her consequences, the second reading this is someone who can kill her. Also she looks so sad and wet at the end there, I'd say the saddest she's ever looked but then Sanctuary starts up and she looks even sadder and more pathetic I loved it. But she was also having a great time clubbing I also loved that. Also I totally thought she'd just killed that guy when she got off the bus but good for her Sanctuary lets us know she just mugged him.

So Sanctuary the saddest and most pathetic Faith's ever been in that opening scene of Angel walking her into Angel Investigations (I love her). This episode felt like it was the culimation of a lot of groundwork laid with Angel in s3, the Amends dynamic flipped here where is Angel talking Faith through how she can carry on through the guilt of everything she's done, the follow through of Angel as Faith's murder sponsor as in Consequences and Enemies, there's a lot exchanges I really like in this episode but one of them in particular was the "Right. And you've been doing this for a hundred years! I'm not gonna make it through the next ten minutes." "So make it through the next five, the next minute." which was just before the other of my favourites of "Faith, this isn't about Buffy" before Angel proceeds to get sidetracked about Buffy.

Speaking of I really enjoyed Buffy in this episode it's like it feels there's a different level of range given to her when she's not the protagonist I dunno? Like she's still clearly Buffy but because of the way that the framing is that this is Angel the Series not Buffy the Vampire the Slayer, it's different it feels like a fresh direction. Anyway "Apologise and I'll beat you to death," "Go ahead," Iconic. Along with another of those Angel Buffy communications failures coupled with the Angel is Faith so of course he's on her side she has to be worthy of redemption because otherwise he isn't versus Buffy is too close and too hurt to what Faith's done that she can't be (which I think is a neat contrast to Superstar's lower stakes and that Johnathan obviously isn't as important). Anyway Faith and Buffy's talk on the roof is so good with Buffy so hurt by Faith and Faith so desperate to appease her before she does snap and defends herself when Buffy says "but nobody else has ever made me a victim," which you could read as her just deflecting with a my life was hard too approach (I'll admit I have vague memories of discourse about this along these lines) but that's not really how Faith deflects she deflects away from her trauma rather than with it you know even when she uses it like "You tried to gut me, Blondie" its more playful, so I'm reading as her reaching the actual instrospection that Angel's been guiding her to, she's not so much deflecting she's opening up and being honest especially closing with "Just tell me how to make it better," and how she ends up in jail voluntarily (which I guess this means this is the last I'll be seeing of Faith until the first time I ever saw Faith which I think was in S4 of Angel (That's soooo far away)). Also really enjoyed those closing barbs between Angel and Buffy.

Sanctuary sidenotes, its absolutely not intended but knowing what I know about the future of Lilah and Wesley's trajectories with eachother its fun that they had to back to back handshake deals Lilah with Assassin number 2 and Wesley with the Council's fixers. And while great for Cordelia getting that paid time off, get out of that situation, she's probably gonna come back to an Angel Investigations with the power cut off, Angel and Wesley aren't gonna be finding paying jobs and even if they luck into it they're not gonna chase them up to get paid, it'll be way more work for her to get everything back shipshape. And I'll admit my first thought with Wesley throwing that syringe into Weatherby's (I think) neck was "Really?" before instantly realising they had actually set it up with the darts and resignedly admitting I gotta give it to Wesley (Then he instantly said "180" and my goodwill was squandered).

The one thing that I don't really like about Five by Five and Sanctuary is sort of a nitpick but also like I don't like how it rewrites Faith and Wesley's history. Like I get it he's the only one who can take advantage of such a dynamic so it makes sense they'd change things up to give it to him, but like Wesley's not really Faith's Watcher. They try to use it like Giles was Buffy's and Wesley was Faith's but it wasn't like that, Faith had three Watchers, she had Giles a lot longer than she had Wesley and she had Diana (presumably) even longer than that. Even Gwendolyne Post had arguably more of an impact on her as a Watcher than Wesley did. Like Wesley managed to have one sentence with her before she killed a guy and went rogue, he was Buffy's Watcher for longer than he was Faith's. And like that's not to diminish things he was bad for her and handled a lot poorly that was the final straw in pushing her into darkness but I think it's enough that he messed up that they didn't need to say he was this persistent source of all failures with handling Faith when he was really just the latest in a chain that makes the way they frame their dynamic across the episodes feel a bit unearned. Also it kinda frames Giles' dynamic as Watcher as a bit toothless sanding it down y'know like he was the good one and didn't make mistakes when he did I like that about him and Buffy he's not perfect.

Okay so rapid fire other episodes because I've been typing for too long. Where the Wild Things Are?????????????? Buffy and Riley have so much sex the house becomes haunted????? Good for her??? I think this was the wildest premise in a fair while? But anyway I was kinda expecting from the previously it'd be like a movement forwards for the big three relationships of BuffyRiley, WillowTara and XanderAnya but it was more of a holding position by the end? Fairly concretely putting Willow and Tara into the same type of relationship rather than just magic subtext was appreciated though which goes in with New Moon Rising which was good, they really sell the Oz return great with its impact on Willow it has some good setup for a rift between Riley and Buffy with him having that kneejerk reaction against Willow being with a werewolf (I assume Riley/Buffy is not long for this world, I know she needs at least one series of Spike and I think there's some guy who's gimmick is that he's just a normal guy?). Initiative are dangerously close to having something interesting ne done with them, with moving once more towards the "hey isn't it kinda messed up the military have a bunch of demons in cages underground?" rather than just be there so I assume Adam's gonna open all the cages so they die via demons and we don't have to think about a way Buffy could deal with a government demon program.

I think Eternity is my favourite Angel episode that doesn't rely on Buffy or Faith I think each of the three acts are great and the fact that the premise of the episode only works because of the core concept of Angel really adds to it, like a lot of other episodes you could pluck out and put into a different show it'd broadly be the same, but this one directly plays with the moment of true happiness aspect in a way that it can't really be an episode of another show. Really enjoyed Rebecca Lowell's dynamic with Angel and like I say with the three acts of, Rebecca's being bodyguarded by Angel, Rebecca wants to be turned into a Vampire, Angel gets a moment of happiness via drugging with the undercurrent in the first two thirds of if Angel and her really do hit it off he might lose his soul (which obviously he won't but its still neat). I do think the Angelus performance was a bit hammy (at first I thought it was deliberate because he was playing it up just to frighten her). Oh yeah and I enjoyed the line of "What are the odds he'll find it with an actress" given that Angel/Cordelia is coming at some point.

Oh yeah also I noticed on the episode synopses that it says the finale of S4 is Buffy facing The Cheese Man? Now S1 had this issue where the synopsis for Prophecy Girl was just a different synopsis for Out of Sight, Out of Mind so that could be happening here as well but The Cheese Man? Adam buried.

Also I haven't said it lately but I really enjoy this correspondence, love chatting with you like this, I honestly don't think I'd be enjoying the show to the extreme level that I am if not for these updates of hey this is the stuff that I loved!

Superstar is to TYG/Who Are You as Earshot is to Enemies. Imo. Post Local-Girl Ruins Everything episodes that are kind of all about Faith despite her not being in them. Also hard agree, the shrimp bit always gets me.

(also i dropped the ball when we were talking about the body swap episodes by not linking you to the absolute very best fic that's tackled a different (but still entirely satisfying!) version of those episodes je me souviens by zulu. okay back to the rest of the reply)

FIVE BY FIVE AND SANCTUARY ARE SO MEATY. Top tier Faith episodes, much to dig into, you already highlighted a lot of what I like about these episodes. Just an absolutely brilliant use of the crossover potential of the shows. I think it makes sense that Faith and Buffy are too close to each other's trauma (and especially with the body swap and all the violation that entails being so recent) it would take a third party to diffuse things. Faith's rock bottom coinciding with her hurting Buffy past the point of Buffy wanting anything to do with her both makes sense and is a great opportunity for Angel to actually succeed in getting through to her. It literally took until the options were 'die or try to do better' for Faith to be able to accept that help, but that helped to sell it for me.

The ways Angel, Buffy, and Faith all project onto each other are always fascinating to me, especially the times that puts them in conflict with each other. So much of btvs s3 was Faith trying to become Angel(us) so she could mean what he means to Buffy, and these two episodes are Faith actually doing it, but in a way she never anticipated. If that makes sense. Like her being so off the map that she needs his explicit guidance to figure out how to being a path to redemption felt right for me. Also in funny/fucked up Angel/Faith parallels - the fact that every single thing they do kind of IS about Buffy even when it shouldn't be. I think there's something kind of bittersweet about how that used to be a thing Faith resented about Angel, but it ended up as one of the other things she related to him about. Idk. Their whole relationship is so fucked up and good, I love it.

Agree re: Wesley. It would have been good if they'd pushed that angle more in s3 if this was where they were going - but I think Wesley was honestly meant to stand in more as a symbol for the council at large/authority figures in general who Faith felt exploited/failed by. The torture scene is so fucked up and dark - I gotta admit I love her in the middle of a downward spiral. "Brings out the mother in me" as she's literally pressing on his wounds always gets me. Jesus christ, Faith.

"Demons in cages underground" also highlights one of the biggest ways the Initiative fails for me as a faction - like that is SUCH an ethical horror show. The existence and operation of the Initiative feels like it should change the way the whole universe of the show operates but it... kinda doesn't really? I would nitpick less if they weren't such a big deal all season.

Eternity is definitely one of the stronger episodes in ATS s1 imo. Where the Wild Things are.... is not that for BTVS s4 but that's okay. Points for sheer whackness, I guess.

Anyway dude yeah - Adam's got nothing on The Cheese Man. You're not ready.

I've also been enjoying subletting my blog for your btvs/ats watch updates! very fun for me! you are, of course, welcome to come off anon at any point but no pressure - enjoying our silly little correspondence either way <3

[novelmonger]

Since I posted my thoughts about Daredevil seasons 2 and 3 as I watched them, I thought I'd do the same for Born Again! Spoilers, obviously, so I'll put them below the cut.

Oooh, very artistic beginning, showing all those shots of Hell's Kitchen.

Aww...it does my heart so much good to see Matt, Foggy, and Karen just hanging out, laughing and chatting and their relationship mended. Picking up right where we left off in Daredevil season 3. I love it <3

It's also just really...freeing? Now that both Foggy and Karen know about Matt's abilities, and everything's in the open, when something goes wrong, Matt doesn't have to pretend around them.

What. Foggy shot...no. Nononono a;ldkfjsdklfj

Starting episode 1 off with a one-take fight showing off Matt's skills, good choice.

I love how they keep depicting Matt checking on Foggy by turning the volume of everything else way down, so all you can hear are his heartbeats and Karen's faint voice.

No...no, they can't...they wouldn't...no.....

I had to stop at the opening title and just sob. This...I just...no! Not after everything they've been through! Not after Matt and Foggy finally mended their friendship again! I want him here! He needs to be part of this! What is Matt going to do without him? We've already seen what it's like when they aren't speaking, but for him to be dead...that means there's no chance of them ever fixing anything between them. Because there's nothing to fix. Because he's gone.

And...Matt just killed someone. It finally happened. I...I'm scared. I don't know if I'm going to like where this is going. I think I need to take a break before continuing.

Everyone's acting was phenomenal in this scene, though. As always.

One Year Later. One year later?! alkdjf;lkdjs;kdjfs;ldkjfljksdf

Kinda confused as to when this is supposed to be set now. Guess we'll see if there are any clues. But...just...graaaahhhhhh one year later a;lkdjf;lksjdf;ldksjf

A;LDKFS;DKFLSA;DKJFGSD;FKJSDF;KJ WILSON FISK AND HIS STUPID OMELETTE OR WHATEVER THAT IS A;LKDJF;LDKSJS;DKFJ

GAAAAAAHHHHHH the parallels of both of them picking out a jacket to wear AHHHHHHH

Matt carrying the bulletin from Foggy's funeral everywhere ;A;

Lol, why did I react that way to the first sight of Fisk (when I knew he was in this show), but at the first sight of Vanessa, I was like, "Oooooh~ >:D" (when it's kinda obvious in hindsight that she would be in it too)

So Fisk has both eyes and no scars, which means this is before Hawkeye??? I'm still confused about the timeline ^^'

Murdock and McDuffie. Ow.

Oh wait, so Matt didn't kill the guy? I thought the implication was that his heart stopped. Okay, my bad. I guess that's...better than the alternative. Yeah, that makes more sense with how Matt is acting now.

OHHHHHHHH the killer is Poindexter!!!! Durrrr, it's clearly been too long since I've seen Daredevil season 3, because I didn't recognize him at first ^^'

Ooof, Karen moved to San Francisco? That whole conversation between her and Matt in the hallway felt so real. Agonizingly so. And once again...Matt is alone oTL

Ohhhhhh boy, Fisk is running for mayor. If anything could make Matt pull out the Daredevil suit again, I feel like that probably would be.

Lol, setting Matt up on a date. I can't see this going well, but that's mostly just because of Matt's track record with his love life. It was a cute scene.

Ooohoohoo, Matt and Fisk facing off already? This'll be good.

So this is after Echo. *throws hands up in defeat* I guess I just assumed he'd look more different after everything that's happened :/

Their conversation gave me chills, as any conversation between Matt and Fisk always does. Though I kept cringing at how loudly Fisk was talking about Matt being Daredevil. Somebody could totally have overheard that!

Ohhhh, okay, in the very bright lights on the TV, I can finally see the scar on Fisk's face XD

Duuuude, those final shots with the bluish light shining on Fisk's face and the red light shining on Matt's face were almost Death Note-level! 8D

[edge-oftheworld]

fave 13 lyrics this week?

this is TRICKY!! anon I feel like I can’t answer you properly cause HALSEY HAS A NEW ALBUM OUT AND I HAVENT LISTENED TO IT YET BUT EVERYONE SAYS ITS SO SOO GOOD (I’m waiting to listen to my cd the first time through).

but I’m gonna pretend we’re going with stuff that came out before yesterday:

bare hands by delta goodrem (ik it came out in 2007. I don’t care): a little pain lets you know you’re alive, you gotta live and love not just survive ->it’s a good reminder for me to live and take risks that make me feel alive

i see the angels by ashton irwin (which I think is what’s been reminding me of that line from bare hands): say if you love it let it kill ya. if it don’t hurt it doesn’t thrill ya and I love to go on to turn out the light look in the mirror, do you see an angel? ->if this isn’t motivation to be my best self and do what’s right and is going to be satisfying even when it’s hard

alcohol by delta goodrem (I’ve been listening to a lot of child of the universe lately! I know this is the chorus and multiple lines but I love the whole thing): so go ahead, take her to your bed, tell her all your fears and let her kiss your lips, dead, swimming round your head, drowning out the days when we made love ->if this isn’t the ‘I give up’ moment in the sassiest way possible

bleach by 5sos (cause apparently that’s what I’m reminded of by those lyrics): it’s so hard to watch, everything I was, everything I want swimming down the drain ->I love the shake up of was/want and how they’re both. gone. parallels with alcohol in a way. sorry for the bad italics

starlight by taylor swift: he was trying to skip rocks on the ocean saying to me, don’t you feel the starlight? don’t you dream impossible dreams? ->one of my fave (bunch of) lines of all time. idk why but the imagery of it just DOES something to me. and I can’t skip rocks so trying to do it on the ocean seems impossible and the kind of crazy that feels like being alive

story of my life by one direction (and I can’t remember the whole of what I’m quoting so I’m gonna cut it off): when I die these words will be written on my stone ->was debating putting this here but I swear I mean it unironically, in that something you just feel is associated with you so much and you’re exasperated by it and it just captures it so well. that’s all there is to it

for you by liam payne and rita ora (yes I did remember this song recently but it’s been a favourite of mine for many years): (…) kissing me your lips are made of ecstasy ->sorry about my bad hearing for the words that come before this but it just captures the feeling of being so in love it feels like a chemical high

better man by 5sos (while I’m reminded of it and on the topic): thought I’d found the highest of highs but you came and topped them all ->this is like the summary less visceral version of the feeling. can’t believe these songs both came out in the same year

when my stars come out by delta goodrem: aim your gun and pull the trigger, I’m off and running like a river ->what an analogy!

wild things by ashton irwin: I’ll stand by I won’t resist it and I won’t try to make you different cause where you are is where I wanna be -> one of the most beautiful reminders that love is meant to be like that, meant to be completely safe to be yourself and seen and cherished for exactly who you are

moodswings by 5sos: through bloodshot eyes the sky is falling and I just wanna fuckin push you away ->this captures A LOT

dancing with our hands tied by taylor swift: I’m a mess but I’m the mess that you wanted ->again. what love is like. reminds me of a mix of the last two I think? total acceptance. even the more dysfunctional parts that might strain the relationship. you’re still worth the extra effort for the right person

stand by you by rachel platten (just cause I swear I don’t just listen to the same 4 artists but you guys know that): love, if your wings are broken we can brave through those emotions too, cause I’m gonna stand by you

[frostedsugarcookiehearts]

-> main course : chapstick !

🍂˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚☕️

CHAPSTICK !

tldr ; schlatt x gn!reader + college au (you're a photography major) -> a / n : loosely based off something that happened w/ a boy at school 💌 : mixtape to this fic ; head over heels by tears for fears !

your eccentric business teacher had dragged the whole lecture hall out of class insisting that -

,, you damn kids just don't go outside enough, with all your interweb stuff and snapgram ! ''

due to his outburst and determination to get the whole college lecture hall of around a hundred people to go on a walk to explore the local businesses surrounding your college, you and all your other classmates were now walking around the neighborhood, being pointed out everything that looked similar to a shop by your professor.

you didn't really know anyone in your class. the business teacher talked a lot, and you didn't even like business since you were a photography & film major. it's not like you were gonna stand up in front of the whole class and proudly proclaim actually teacher, i don't wanna go for a walk! kiss my ass and say goodbye to my business credit, i'm outta here to go take photos of the leaves!

grinning a little at the scene, you shake your head and shove your hands in the pockets of your baggy tan jeans and dark brown sweater, a gold heart pendant necklace lazily thrown on top. you were trying to achieve that casual, chic-fall look, yet you thought you looked more sloppy than mysterious dark academia student. whatever, you huff.

as you walk, you apply a coat of your pumpkin spice burts bees chapstick to really get the whole fall vibe going. as you start to shove it back into your jeans, you feel a tap on your shoulder. you turn to see a guy that towers over you, a gruff beard and messy hair, wearing a yankees sweater.

,, hey, uhh, can i borrow your chapstick ? my lips are gettin' all chapped, and we can't have that while we're on our lovely business walk, can we ? ''

yankees dude shoots you a grin, his new york accent thick as he drawled.

,, sure. ''

you shrug and offer out the small tube of pumpkin spice chapstick. he applies it directly onto his lips, then you both freeze. did this dude directly apply it to his lips? he just touched my lips. okay, cool. don't panic.

,, oh, shit. i'm fuckin' dumb. i, uh.. forgot how chapstick worked. you're not.. you don't got any diseases or somethin', right? ''

he chuckles awkwardly at the last part, leaning down more to my height to whisper as he gulps and shifts his gaze away from you, placing the chapstick in my hand and shoving it towards your palm.

you look around to see if i'm being punk'd or something, one of those old gameshows where they prank people. but nope, no one's in sight, except your business teacher rambling on, probably about his ex-wife or something. hesitantly, you respond,

,, ...no, i'm good. ''

you clear your throat.

,, your, uh.. your lips un-chapped now? ''

he shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets as he starts to walk in unison with you.

,, yeah. that's the good stuff. normally i just buy the cheap ones from the drugstore, ya know? ''

you politely offer a smile , nodding along with him as your two pairs of feet tap against the concrete. you glance down at your shoes, a nervous habit, to look at the parallel: his scuffed up white (but now so dirty they're a light brown-ish at this point) old nikes and your red converse, a soft thump sound as the two of you walk.

,, what, are you too good to go and order one from amazon? ''

i joke. i glance over at him to see him meet my gaze with his brown eyes crinkling up at the sides as he grinned and boasted playfully,

,, yeah. the chapstick should be bowin' at my feet to have the opportunity to have it's product on my lips. ''

rolling your eyes, you let out an amused chuckle.

,, you've got kind of an ego, y'know that? ''

you joke.

,, jeez, you're a budding genius. you a psych major? ''

he jokes playfully, studying your clothes and tote intently to try and size up what you study, as if you'll have a giant shirt that says i <3 psychology !!

,, nah, photography and film. you? ''

to your surprise, his eyes widen, but he goes back to normal so fast you're sure it's a trick of the autumn air or something.

,, comp sci. ''

you snort.

,, oh, so you're a dork? ''

he rolls his eyes and shrugs, snapping his gaze away from ahead to look back at you.

,, that's kinda a generalization, don'tcha - '' you shoot him a look that reads, 'dont lie'. '' fine, i am. ''

he pauses for a second.

,, i like to do photography and film stuff too. just occasionally though. in my free time. after dorkin' out, ya know. ''

he chuckles almost a bit forced at the last part, like he's purposefully leaving out his skill or love for it, but you don't care enough to pry. it's not you're a psych major or anything either.

,, really ? what kinda stuff you film ? ''

that piques your interest, to say the least. and what does even more is his reply:

,, everythin'. i mean, it's just the way film is so much better on a real vlogging camera than a phone, ya know? it has that.. that old-school feeling. hell, i'm gonna be recording my kids' first steps on a digital camera, that's for sure. ''

your face lights up as you chuckle along to his rambling, listening intently.

,, yeah.. i get it, actually. wouldn't be surprised if you were a photography major in disguise. ''

he grins, playing along with your banter as he quips,

,, disguised as what ? ''

the obvious reply to you is:

,, a huge dork. ''

the two of you burst into laughter as the yankees guy shoves you playfully, grinning from ear to ear.

,, oh, fuck off. leave me and my fellow comp sci guys be, yeah? what's your name, photography geek? gotta know who me and my boys are gonna beat up later. ''

you snicker.

,, beat me up with what, their blue shells? ''

you joke and tell him your name without skipping a beat. his eyes widen as a genuine smile spreads across his face.

,, woah, wait, you play mario kart? and, uh, nice to meet ya. i'm jay. but back to mario kart - what? you? a photography major? ''

the two of you seem to light up at the same time.

,, oh yeah! i used to play it with my best friend all the time growing up. why, you play too? ''

jay grins and nods vehemently.

,, hell yeah i play. probably better than you. after all, that's all us comp sci majors do practice mario kart and dork out, according to'ya. ''

you smirk, going along with your banter, trying to not absolutely nerd out about how much you adore mario kart.

,, sounds about right. ''

he surprises you (and himself, it seems), when after a beat of silence he suggests,

,, guess we'll have to play sometime. ''

you pause, then shrug coyly, even though you're doing thrilled gymnastics in your mind. you tease,

,, guess we will. as long as you get yourself your own tube of chapstick. ''

jay's whole demeanor seems to lighten up from his gruff, get-the-fuck-away persona to a more relaxed, chilled one. he flashes you a grin, looking down at you with a sparkle in his eye.

,, deal. ''

-> tysm for reading ! beautiful banners by @anitalenia . go check out their banners they're awesome sauce !!

[scarlettriot]

Stood Up

Pairing: Sero/F!Reader

Summary: When you find your dating making out with someone else at a Halloween party, Hanta swoops in and reclaims your evening, rekindling an old flame.

Contains: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Demisexual Reader, Astronomy/Greek Lore Nerd Sero, Old flame

Warnings: 18+ Below the cut, Minors DNI! Swearing, Demi Problems, Praise/Smidge of Degradation, Name-calling (slut & whore), Pet names (Love, good girl, pretty girl), Car Sex, F Masturbation, Oral M Receiving (Road Head) I think that's everything

A/N: This took me much longer than I expected. It's also my first time writing Sero. Given the season, I decided to add a touch of Halloween and costumes to this one.

If you'd like to read other's in the Stood Up series, here are the links:

Stood Up - Bakugo - WC 3,502

Stood Up - Kirishima - WC 3,612

Stood Up - Kaminari - WC 2,461

Word Count Starting Below: 3,494

Denki Kaminari's annual Halloween bash was in full swing by the time Hanta had arrived. He'd come straight from patrol, wrapping himself up in his own tape making a half assed mummy costume for himself. Not like anyone would notice with the flashing colored lights, loud music, and abundance of liquor.

However, Hanta didn't even make it up to the double glass front doors of Denki's home. Not before doing a double take at the very familiar pirate that ran by him.

"Y/N?" You stopped allowing him the chance to catch up to you, "Holy shit, it is you, when the hell did you get back?"

Three years you'd been gone, working in America. Time differences and busy schedules made it so the two of you barely kept in touch. It was a shame, Hanta thought, considering how close the two of you used to be.

"I- uh- just a few weeks now. I heard you were helping out with the disaster relief after that storm."

It had to be his eyes playing tricks on him, the funny colors of the dancing lights were what made your cheeks look wet, right? Those couldn't have been tears.

"I was, yeah, but I got back yesterday. I didn't know-"

"Get the hell outta here!" His head snapped back towards the front of the house, just in time to see Eijiro, dressed in an impressive werewolf costume, literally throw someone out of the party. The guy drunkenly stumbled off, Eijiro walking over towards where Hanta was standing with you. "Y/N, you good?"

You nodded while Hanta tried to piece together what'd happened. "Sorry, it took me a second to find the bastard. Do ya wanna come back in? I'll make sure he leaves."

"No, Eijiro, thanks though. I'm just gonna head home."

The wolfman frowned but understood. "We'll have a smaller party for ya! Just the gang as a welcome home! You know Denki will look for any excuse to throw a party." He turned his gaze on Hanta. "A mummy, really?"

"You've been a damn werewolf for the last two years! You don't get to give me crap."

Eijiro poked the fuzzy pointed red ears carefully set into his spiky hair. "Mina and I worked real hard on this costume... seemed like a waste to only wear it once."

"We both know you haven't just worn those once, big man."

That got a chuckle out of you while all Eijiro could do was shrug and try to hide a shit-eating grin.

He asked you again if you'd like to stay and once more you said you were going to just head home. It was when you specifically said you were going to be walking home that Hanta spoke up offering to drive you back to your home since it was Halloween and people were creeps.

You were a damn pro hero but he still didn't feel right about just letting you walk home alone.

When you agreed he told Eijiro he'd be back soon and walked over with you to his car.

>>><<<

A part of you missed the old station wagon Hanta used to drive, not that this BMW he now drove wasn't absolutely amazing, you just sort of missed the comfort of the old car.

He waited until he'd reached the end of Denki's long, winding driveway to finally speak. "So, you wanna tell me what happened back there, or am I just supposed to pretend like Kiri didn't kick someone out on your behalf?"

"You could probably just ask Kiri and he'd tell you."

"I could, but, I'd like to hear it from you."

You knew you could tell him, there was nothing you couldn't tell Hanta. There was once a time when the man knew every single detail about your life. Sure, time and distance had put a strain on that relationship but you were back now. There was no reason why you couldn't at least start rebuilding what you and Hanta once had.

"Y/N, if you don't wanna say anything-"

"I was just casually seeing this guy. You know me and dating, how we don't always work out." You said abruptly and he quit talking, "And so, we weren't like official but we said we'd go to this party together. Well, I got here and went looking for him and found him making out with one of Hawks' sidekicks. I got a little upset when he noticed me and, well, he just said he found someone better."

Hanta actually stopped the car, pulled off to the side of the road, threw it in park, and looked right at you because he knew what found someone better meant exactly. You'd used those words in high school when that guy from Shiketsu that you'd been seeing got pissed off that you wouldn't put out and ended it with you. You went to his dorm crying because he 'found someone better', is what you told him. It took him a few hours to get the truth out of you.

You'd always been the kind of person to love with your entire heart but sexually, you'd confessed that you felt different from all the other kids your age back then. Not having the same urges and desires that everyone else seemed stricken with.

"Hanta, it's fine, really. Kiri heard the whole thing and, well, you saw what happened."

"Doesn't make it right! So, you went on a couple dates with a guy, that doesn't mean he just gets to expect you to put out for him! Even if you weren't demi, no one gets to just assume they deserve sex."

His lips were pressed in a narrow line, nostrils flared once in annoyance. He was usually so calm and laid back that you thought it rather cute when he got overprotective. "It's alright, Hants, really."

He still gave you a look that said he disagreed but then shook his head, dropping the subject for now at least.

"Still like those late-night drives?"

"I love them."

"Good."

Hanta waited for a car to pass and whipped the car in the other direction.

It wasn't long before he had the windows rolled down, conversations filling in the blanks of lost time, in between belting out choruses of your favorite songs. Minutes slipped by the further he drove, you lost track of both time and kilometers, letting him tell you all about the ridiculous antics the group had been up to.

Eventually, you caught the scent of salty air and even in the dark, you had a pretty good idea where Hanta was going. He followed a winding road, making two left turns and then a right leaving you on a stretch of road that paralleled the ocean.

You let your head fall against the seat, eyes falling shut and inhaling that wonderful smell you missed so much. Hanta had just one hand lazily on the wheel, his elbow resting out the open window, a relaxed smile was illuminated in soft orange lights off his dash.

You let your head roll onto his shoulder, not as easily done without the bench seat in his station wagon but it worked nonetheless. "Thanks."

His free hand came to rest on your knee, "Anytime."

He turned the wheel, pulling over and parking in front of a small beach access that you guys had found at 3 in the morning five years prior. Hanta kicked off his shoes, leaving them in the car to avoid them being sand-filled and you did the same with the knee-high boots purely because you longed to feel the sand between your toes.

The wooden planks were worn, parts buried beneath the sand until eventually, none remained. Breaking waves flooded your ears and you made a run for them! Before you could reach the lapping water though, tape had wound around your middle and yanked you backward.

"Not happening!" Hanta said firmly. "Last time I let you talk me into late-night swimming we didn't have a change of clothes either and we both got so sick! I think I might have actually died without Bakugo's soup!"

You chuckled, remembering being nineteen and curled up with Hanta on the sofa in the living room of the apartment you all shared for nearly a week. The sniffles didn't cease for almost three weeks.

"Okay, okay, no swimming." You flopped back down into the sand, his tape still attached meaning the cellophane hero was pulled down with you. "Tell me about the stars then, Hants. Who's out tonight?"

Astronomy was a hobby of Hanta's you learned about after moving into the dorms your first year. It wasn't uncommon to find him out on the roof most nights, laying on his back and looking up into the clear night sky littered with twinkling stars, usually with a joint pressed between his lips. It became almost a habit for him to grab you on his way up, pulling you along because you were more than happy listening to him tell you about each constellation and the stories behind them.

It was around this time of year, in your final year of high school; somewhere between him recalling the greek mythos of Aries and Sagittarius that you noticed your heart beating a little faster. You realized something had shifted between the two of you, and, holy shit, was this what it felt like to have a crush! When the hell did that happen?

You'd entrusted everything to Hanta back then, and now, laying in the sand shoulder to shoulder while he talked about Draco, that familiar feeling stirred again. You remembered what it was supposed to be like when you weren't forcing it for some random guy. How simple it was supposed to be.

You inclined on an elbow and he stopped mid-sentence. "Eh, everything alright?" You nodded but he looked anything but convinced, mirroring your position and asking you again.

It was easy for you to lean forward, to brush your lips against his for the first time in three years. And, when you pulled away, he looked about as shocked as he had the night you'd done it when you were eighteen.

"You- you still like me?"

When you left for America, you'd both agreed to put a pause on your sort of relationship. Free to date and screw whomever you pleased because three years was a long time and it just seemed like a fair decision to make. The realization that he might now have someone else special in his life dawned on you...

"Yeah but I totally understand if things are different now and I shoulda asked- oof!"

He kissed you so hard you toppled back into the sand, quick pecks, one right after another, ending them with a long one that nearly left you breathless.

"I didn't know how to bring it up. I didn't want to make you feel awkward about things or make you think I expected something. I thought that maybe since we didn't talk for a while your feelings might have changed."

"I can say with confidence they haven't."

"Thank fuck." He groaned and captured your lips in another searing kiss.

It was easy to lift his shirt off, the shreds of tape that remained were now covered with gritty sand that clung to your fingers as you traced the chest and torso you knew so well. Gliding over defined muscles, lingering on old scars and mapping out new ones he'd collected in your time apart.

His own hands were busy flicking open the brass fastenings of your corset, huffing about it being so much more difficult to get to your chest and something about it being very unfair.

By the time he'd undone the last one, bright headlights shown across the beach. "Shit."

Giggling ensued from the walkway and you both sighed, at least it wasn't the police or a hero patrol. Hanta gathered his shirt and ran back to his car with his hand in yours.

"I thought our days of being caught were over."

"At least it wasn't Mr. Aizawa this time."

A chill ran down your spine remembering the night and the lecture you'd received when your teacher had caught Hanta sneaking out of your room early one morning.

"So, uh, do you still plan on going to Denki's party?" You asked innocently enough but Hanta knew you far too well.

"I think I'm gonna miss it this year." His hand found a home on your upper thigh. "Apparently, you and I have a lot of catching up to do. Lost time to make up for and all that."

"Too bad you don't have that old station wagon anymore. If you did, we wouldn't have to wait to get back."

Dark eyes glanced over at you not so subtly parting your legs.

"I dunno. It's not too often I travel in the backseat of my own car but I've been told it's pretty roomy. Lots of legroom."

Your hand ran over your legs, dipping down to lightly brush your more sensitive parts, thankful you opted for the thin pair of black leggings rather than the dark skinny jeans. Your fingers danced again and this time you let a soft moan pass your lips. "Eyes on the road, Hants."

"That's a little hard to do when I've got you spread out in the passenger's seat." He grabbed your free hand and pressed it against the bulge in his pants. "You've got me distracted, filthy little woman."

You appreciated him testing the waters, a subtle way of checking if you liked those nicknames he used only in private with you, giving you a chance to protest if your likes had changed. They were one's that only felt right coming from him and you were eager to hear more.

Forgoing your own high, you leaned over the center console as best you could, undoing his belt first, followed quickly by his zipper letting his strained cock be free.

His grip tightened on your leg when you kissed the tip of him. "Just like old times, huh?"

A chuckle turned quickly into a moan, taking him in your mouth, pushing yourself further on his cock, fighting your gag reflex to get him down your throat. Hanta reclined his seat further, giving you more room to work with.

Your legs clenched tighter with every groan you pulled from him, wiggling your hips in the seat, letting a hand fall back between your own legs. There was an attempt of a moan around his cock when his fingers coiled in your hair. "Such a good slut. Keep fuckin' goin'." He let you continue at your own speed, needing to focus as best he could on the road rather than what you were doing but, damn, you were making that increasingly difficult.

He wasn't stopping you though. He rarely did. You'd sucked him off on countless drives before and only stopped when- "That's it." He lifted you off him by your hair at the same time he pulled off the road. There was a convenient turn-off, hidden by overgrown brush you noticed before he shut off the headlights.

Hanta took you by the chin, smearing drool. "Backseat, pretty girl." He reached into the glove box and pulled out a foil wrapper, "What do you say we test out that legroom?"

He wait to watch your smile grow wide before crawling into the back because he had to be the first to go if this had any chance of working. Once situated, pants under his thighs, he patted his lap for you to climb over.

You slid easily onto his lap, hands traveling up and over his shoulders, kissing hard while you rocked your hips against impossibly hard length.

There was so much comfort in the familiarity of him. It wasn't awkward to fall back into rhythm with Hanta, to remember that he loved the feeling of your nails dragging down his chest. And he was just as eager to get your shirt off, reach your breasts he'd missed so much, and get his tongue on your nipples.

Your head tipped backward, loving the pace he set, hips bouncing creating the perfect tug on your nipples between his teeth.

"Love, if I promise to buy you a new pair, can I rip these damn leggings? They're just so thin and-"

"Please." Your breathy moan had him smirking and with a single grunt the leggings were ruined, cool air from the vents had only a moment to touch your bare ass before Hanta's hands reclaimed it.

There was no way he hadn't felt your arousal before ripping your clothes off, you soaked through your panties and leggings, you knew that, but that didn't stop him from commenting on how soaked you were now on his fingers. "Want me inside you, whore? I think you do."

You nodded with a whimper and he slipped a finger in. "Hants, noo- I- I want your cock, please."

"You're gonna take my fingers like a good little slut first." You clenched at the words falling from his mouth. "So fuckin' tight you can barely take a finger. How'm I supposed to fit in here if you can even take a single finger? Need you to loosen up, alright." He pushed another finger in, scissoring the two inside you.

"This gonna make you cum? You need this bad, don't you? Tell me. Tell me how bad you need to cum."

"I want it. Please, please, I need it. I'm so close," You babbled and ripped the foil open with his teeth, rolling it with one hand on his cock. In an instant, his fingers had been replaced with this dick. Sticky fingers on your ass helping you ease down on him with a hiss.

"Fuck," Hanta let out a throaty chuckle, "You still fuckin' feel the absolute best." He dropped a kiss between your breasts, letting you adjust to his girth. "Perfect. Good girl. Such a fuckin' good little slut."

He wasn't about to last long. Not once you started bouncing up and down on him, your tits right in front of his face.

"Couldn't even wait for me to get you home, had to fucking tease me in the damn car." He held onto the fat of your ass, pulling you along him and slamming you down hard.

"Kinda pathetic how desperate you are. Fuck. Kinda hot too."

When the top of your head bumped the roof of the car, he scooted lower, trying to give you as much room to ride him however you pleased.

"What do you need? You wanna cum, don't you, pretty girl, what do you need?"

"Faster, faster please."

Hanta shifted even lower, making you grab onto the two headrests while he thrust his hips up into you at a rapid speed. His thumb on your clit was the additional stimulation you needed to fall over the edge. Nails clawing at the black leather as he continued to moan below you now chasing his own release.

You stayed poised above him, using every last bit of strength to stay upright until his mouth was rambling and his cock pulsed inside of you. Fingers bruising your skin before holding your pelvis snuggly against his.

He was bent in a way that looked entirely uncomfortable and yet he still smiled so widely. Reaching up to brush hair out of your eyes, "You okay?"

"Perfects, Hants. A little sore but I'm sure you are too." He moved off his lap, letting him slip out of you with a groan, "Is your neck gonna be okay?"

"I'll be fine. Having you back, love, is more than worth a little bit of a neck cramp."

As he tied a knot in the condom, depositing it into a plastic bag he had tucked away under his seat, Hanta raised a brow, "Love, really, are you alright? Please, tell me if I hurt you at all."

"No! I'm good, why?"

"You're sitting silly."

You were sitting a little odd, perched on your knees rather than sitting on your ass because the leather was chilly and you told Hanta as much making him laugh. "Wait, I think I can help." He leaned back to the front of the car, flicking a button making it glow. Once he tucked himself back in his pants he hopped out of the car and you could see him rummaging in his trunk through the rear window.

"I keep forgetting to take this out from our camping trip a couple months ago. Guess it turned out to be a good thing." He laid the blanket down over the passenger's seat, declaring that should help a bit.

You wrapped the now toasty warm blanket around your bottom half while Hanta drove back towards the city, your head on his shoulder, his hand on your thigh.

"So, shopping tomorrow? I believe I owe you a pair of leggings..."

"It's a date."

[sashi-ya]

~💟 Sashi's Valentine's Corner 💟~

🧩 Interactive Fic

Trafalgar Law x F! Reader ~ Locked Love (1st Part)

What's an interactive fic? I've had this idea in mind for so so long! It is based on one of my favorite series of books, "Choose Your Own Adventure" where at the ending of each chapter you were able to choose between two options to see how the story will continue depending on what you picked! So I did the same for this fic. This is experimental and I'm not sure if you are gonna like it, but let's try! There will be 2 options on how the story will continue that you can choose and they will be up tomorrow!

Suprise #2: Also, there are two parallel stories happening at the same time that will be posted in the following days, featuring Sabo and Ace & Sanji and Zoro

NSFW ENDING / SFW ENDING

tw: no warnings, there will be a NSFW option and a SFW for the next part at the ending.

wc: 2.2K

“Fucking Valentine’s Day”

Pushing the shopping cart through your local supermarket feels like a torture. Everything is so pink and full of chocolates. Some blond guy pushes you and asks you for forgiveness as he seems desperate for the last teddy bear over a counter. Luckily by tomorrow people won’t run to buy bonbons or stupid cards but probably plan Bs…

You get to the premade food aisle and pick up two cups of instant ramen because they were on promotion for valentines. “Take two, pay one” they advertise, and you frankly weren’t thinking about buying more than one, because valentine’s for you is just another commercial day and you have had enough of men.

Same happens to you with the Red Bulls, “take two, pay one”. Eh… this shit is expensive; I could use the discount after all…

The line is longer than expected, but you don’t mind. After all, you had nothing to do tonight, no fancy dates or dinner, just some anime and gaming.

While you scan through several Instagram stories on your phone to wait for your turn to pay, someone touches your shoulder.

Annoyed, you turn around to see who dares to bother you, but soon you change your boredom face to a happy one. It is no other than your friend Sanji. And it’s weird for you to see him in a local supermarket, especially because being the amazing chef he is, he usually buys his ingredients from organic markets.

“Sanji, what are you doing here?” you ask him, looking at the products his arms are holding. Sanji’s cheeks get red, for some reason he doesn’t feel comfortable telling you about the bottles on his hands. “Uh… I came here to buy these… I couldn’t find them anywhere so… you know. This Sake is not easily found” he says, looking at the ground. And you smile, Sanji deserves love, he deserves the whole valentine’s night fantasy. Yes, he does.

“I wonder who’s the lucky one, huh?” you joke as it’s finally your turn to pay. He widens his visible ocean blue eye and bites his lips a little. “Don’t be embarrassed, Sanji. I'm happy you are having fun tonight!”. “T-thank you, (Name)”.

Once the few items you paid were already in the little eco bag, you bid goodbye to your prince charming friend and go outside. As you cross the door, you notice the same blonde guy that pushed you before, bickering with a freckled youngster over a black Harley Davidson motorbike. “I’m in distress, you freckled bitch! Stop making fun of me” the blonde one said, while the freckled one shouted “IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU FORGOT, RAMEN HEAD!”

You giggle, because frankly, the names they were calling each other are absolutely funny.

The cold of the night crips inside your knees through the cuts on your jeans, but you don’t care, the fluffy jumper you are wearing with bear ears keeps you warm.

As you walk, you take a look at the windows. Some houses with lights turned off, from others the delicious smell of dinner being cooked with love. Everybody is celebrating love, and you are ok with that, and sometimes you wish you are too, but you don’t want any more painful relationships in your life… or do you?

The apartment complex where you live has a little playground in the middle, and of course due to the time being it is free of kids, at least during the night. “Maybe, I will come later to use the swings” you think, because you really enjoy using it while listening to some music and eating chips under the dark blue sky of cold nights.

A sweet couple who has just moved in, waves good evening at you while going through the door, and you are happy they had opened it because you always struggle with the damn lock of the entrance.

With your keys at hand, you press the button of the elevator and wait peacefully for it to arrive. The doors finally open, encountering your neighbours all hyped with flowers and some bags on their hands. “Hi, dear neighbour! Happy valentines!” one of them salutes you. You smile warmly, Bepo, Shachi and Penguin are always so kind and polite to you. “Hi, Bepo! Thank you so much! Isn't someone missing tonight?” you ask, because of the four people that live in the apartment, only three seem to go out tonight.

Shachi rolled his eyes back, while Bepo pouted. “The emo is staying home; he says that Valentine’s is just stupid and a commercial day. But I’m sure he is depressed because he hadn’t asked the girl he likes out” Penguin, the most mature friend of all, informs you, sighing. “Oh… I see…well, have fun!” you answer back, sighing too.

So Law has a girl in his heart after all…

Of course, you take everything off while entering your home, mask, boots, even pants except the hoodie. Passing from the kitchen to your room, you notice Law’s LED lights turned on. “Ah… purple lights, tonight?” you mumbled, taking a look at the window that’s exactly in front of yours.

Law, your neighbour, is a pretty reserved man. He is in med school and never looked really friendly. Yet, there was a day where you felt sick and he came and helped you out without asking you anything in return. And he is also the most handsome man you have ever seen in your entire life. Caramel skin, grey eyes, pitch black hair, tattoos and edgy vibe. The perfect man -at least to your eyes-.

“Maybe you are feeling a little down because of what Pen said…” you mumble, sighing. “I wish I was the lucky one…”.

But even if you were starting to feel a little depressed you simply decided to take a bath to forget about it. Yet, the warm water over your face wasn’t enough to make you forget the fact that you indeed weren't that fed up with men, and the real reason behind rejecting every date proposition was in fact, because of Law.

You are head over heels for him, you wait for him to open his curtains to wave, you pray for him to get out of his apartment to take the elevator together every morning, you even wait for running out of sugar to go ask for a cup of it at his door. “Stop, (Name)” you scold yourself, while wrapping your body in a fluffy towel as you get out of the shower.

You dried your hair and waited for dinner time to finally arrive, watching some anime like a polar bear lying in your bed. Before dragging yourself out of your room you take a last peek through your window, noticing Law’s bedroom lights were turned off. “You should be in the kitchen” you mumble, trying to supress your accelerated heartbeat.

But the little window of his kitchen only shows darkness. And Law never goes to sleep that early… “Maybe he is out after all?” you think, on the verge of tears. You are jealous, you feel broken… But they said you didn’t ask that girl out.

You try to sink into the deepest hollow of despair, which upsetting image of him enjoying valentine’s with another girl, and plug your earphones in. You take out the fridge both energy drinks and a bag of chips and decide to go swing a little at the playground outside. You are mad at yourself, you kept saying on and on and on Valentine’s Day was just a stupid day, that you didn’t really matter about it, you turned down so many date proposals…

“Deja Vu” from Olivia Rodrigo blasts into your ears, and the mask collects one or two little tears that run from your eyes to your cheeks. You feel stupid, you are fucking tearing up for a man? for real, (Name)? Crying for a man?”

The elevator’s doors open and the cold breeze of a winter night hits your face. Some idiot has left the main door of the apartment complex open. “How many times has the janitor told us to close the damn door?” you protest, closing it and getting out without thinking anything further and of course not seeing the little paper stuck to it that asked not to close the door until the locksmith came to fix it on the 15th of February.

“She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was our place, I found it first I made the jokes you tell her when she's with you”

You sing with deep feelings, acting resentful for a girl you don’t even know if she exists, much less if Law is in fact with her.

You walk to the back of the building, hoping no kid was using the swings and never stop singing. But the words that were coming out of your mouth slowly stopped… Someone you know too well was indeed sitting on one of the swings… “Law”.

He is rocking himself back and forth, with his head hanging but as soon as he hears you, he fixes his eyes on yours. “Hi” you mumble, taking off your earphones. “Hi” he waves, unable to maintain the sight towards you.

Inside, you are screaming, he is alone, no whore next to him…

“What are you doing here, Law?” you ask, sitting next to him on the other swing. “I was just bored and needed some fresh air, what about you? I thought you went out with someone tonight” he tells you with that soft, yet manly, voice.

“Me? Going out with someone? Please! Valentine’s Day it’s just a stupid date” you lie, as always, specially to him. Is not that your red eyes show you’ve been crying like an idiot for the past hour.

“Right? It’s just another excuse for people to spend money on useless stuff” he answers back, as if he was spitting venom. He sounds mad, he sounds annoyed with something, and soon you remember Penguin’s words “he is just depressed because he didn’t ask the girl he likes out”

Soon you remember bringing two energy drinks instead of one and give one to him. “Fancy some gamer fuel?” you ask him, smiling subtly. “Sure” he accepts, as if you two were about to share some whiskey on the rocks instead of a stupid Red Bull.

The cold sensation of the slightly carbonated drink refreshes both of you while you drink in silence. You kick some little stones on the ground, trying to find something to chat about, until the sound of your phone’s notification breaks the absence of sound. Truth is, that the tension you could feel during those silent moments were loud enough not to speak.

“Oh, sweet! The new chapter of Sora the Warrior of the Sea is out!” you mumble, genuinely excited for it, soon thanking the mask to cover your blushed cheeks as embarrassment hits you for being “so cringey”.

Law stops the swinging all of a sudden, and you are sure he is gonna stand up and go home, but he doesn’t. “SORA? YOU READ SORA?!” he jumps off the swing excited, coming closer to you and fixing his handsome gaze on your phone’s screen.

You giggle. He is a nerd, of course he is. How could someone be that perfect?

“Y-yes, they just released the new scans, have you read the spoilers? This chapter will be amazing!”

“Let’s go upstairs and read it on the computer!” he proposes, all excited extending his tattooed hand to you. This is the first time you hear his voice being so loud, the enthusiasm on his façade. Even under his black mask you can see he is smiling. And image so absolutely beautiful, he looks like an innocent kid, and you can’t say no to his hand.

Softly grazing his palm, he helps you stand up and as you do, he pulls from you towards the entrance of the building. “Come on, I wanna read that. I’ve been waiting for this since last week!” “Sure, let’s go!” you giggle.

But the smile on his face quickly erases.

“WHAT? WHO…. WHO CLOSED THE DOOR? HOW CAN THEY BE SO STUPID? THE FUCKING SIGN SAYS NOT TO” he shouts, letting go of your hand and trying to push the door, failing miserably.

To your horror, your eyes travel through the sign you of course ignored, realizing the idiot Law was cursing was in fact you. But he hasn’t had to know? Right? “Oh lord, I can’t believe how people could be so stupid! Law, what are we gonna do?” you ask, acting innocent, yet kinda laughing on the inside for not taking the blame. “I don’t know… the guys are not coming back until tomorrow, luckily” he mumbles, scratching his head.

“Well… we have two options…

🧩 NSFW option: Waiting until tomorrow for the locksmith to come and open the door

or

🧩 SFW option: We climb through the little window on the side of the hall and enter home.

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

@tihaari, as promised, here it is

The songs with a * means I think about several characters individually (2, most of the time) for these songs

The songs with a ¤ means there is an english translation in the comments (the other non-english songs have subtitles)

Almost every songs have lyrics (in the video, in the description, or in the top comments)

As you will notice, my music taste is quite wide. Hope you’ll find some song you’ll like

(just thought about it but i think like only 1 or 2 are ‘happy’/not angsty songs)

Shinichiro :

- 4:00AM by Taeko Ohnuki*

- Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens

- Euthanasia by Will Wood

- Coma Baby by Nicole Doppelganger

- 最愛なるあなたは花葬 by 虻瀬犬 (Flowers, Mountains and Funerals by Abuseken)¤ (’Today, I’m just getting older. Today, you’re just getting older too.’, everything’s fine. ‘I’m getting older. Now, I’m getting older.’ no sign of the pronoun ‘you’, Mikey’s dead. ‘Today, I cannot grow old, yet since you can grow old today,’, Shinichiro’s dead, not Mikey)

- Birthday Kid by Mili

- I hold you by CLANN (this one’s over 9mins long. Just so you know if you wanna skip it lol)

- You are my sunshine - The Phamtoms version

- Don’t worry by Mr.Kitty (The lyrics fit as a whole but. 2:33)

- John and Nancy by Jack Stauber

- Telephones by VACATIONS

- Pale Machine by bo en (most of the song lyrics are in english but someone put the lyrics in the comments with the translation of the japanese bits)

- Secret by The Pierces (to sanzu ofc ofc. Also asked mikey if he wanted to start ridding bike… probably cuz mikey always wanted to but also shin never accepted but then. Then.) (first verse, OG timeline, second verse.. not-OG timeline)

- Mother Mary by Mr.Kitty

- Neverending Nights by Mr.Kitty

- Karma by AJR (OG timeline, before he knew about time leaping)(he does say in a chapter to wakasa that he spent a lot of money on suspicious religious groups and he did a lot of therapies)

- Youth by Glass Animal

- Lemonade by Mili*

         + Mockingbird by Eminem

Mikey :

- Sometimes by Nick Lutsko*

- Achilles come down by GANGOFYOUTHSBAND

- sister by Eve*

- Tout Petit Moineau (Very small sparrow) by Igorr (youll hear the pure despair in the screams | mikey loosing all of his loved ones one by one. Also parallels between a bird taking flight for the first time | bonten mikey jumping off the building. Probably the song/music i’m the less confident in)

- Poison Tree by Grouper

- Hurting for a Very Painful Pain (prehaps with kisaki singing the more feminine parts)

- Aesthetic ? More like Ass-Pathetic by Panucci’s Pizza

- I rather sleep by Kero Kero Bonito

- You are an Awful person by R.I.P*

- Sing to me by MISSIO

- Why didn’t stop me ? By Mitski

- Riptide by grandson

- Still Life by sitcom

- Between two worlds by Mili

-Cigarette Ahego by Penelope Scott (‘oh I don’t smoke, I just like how it smells’ → memories of Shinichiro - ‘In my defense I wasn’t suppose to be around this long’ → reference to the OG timeline ofc ofc)

- A sadness runs through him by The Hoosiers (Takemichi’s pov)

- HELP by PINK GUY

- Destroy me by Mr.Kitty

- Romantic Homicide by d4vd

- Suicide by Midnight To Monaco (the title is misleading. Its a hopeful song, okay ? Dont- don’t worry about it)

- 1985 by Bo Burnham (just for the 1:44-2:29 part)

- 不浄の世/The Impure World by Shitoo

- ハッピーエンド/Happy end by Shitoo (first part is final timeline mikey, second im not so sure. Perhaps og timeline shinichiro?)

- 棺の舟/Coffin arc by Shitoo (Manila timeline. Although I guess all of them work)

- Monster by Fight the Fade

- Bad Things by Cults

- Heart Nonsense

- Same Man I Was Before by Oingo Boingo

- Jesus don’t like im gay but satans cool with it by lil boodang (once again, you can ignore the title when listening to it) (‘summer’s always awful’ → Shinichiro’s death ‘winter is the one that breaks me down’ → his mom’s, emma’s and izana’s death)

-  物をぱらぱら壊す/breaking things to pieces by Kikuo

- 光よ/oh light (Hatsune Miku version) by Kikuo and here’s Hanatan’s version

- What i deserve by the remedy

- 降伏論 (Koufukuron) sung by Miyashita Yuu

- 悪い人 (a bad person) by syudou sung by すとぷり (sutopuri) (valhalla arc. To Kazutora. the ‘i’ve known it all along that you’re a horrible person’ may go to kisaki tho)

- 13th floor by Jade Lyel

- The mind electric by Miracle Musical

- 内臓ありますか by ピノキオピー (What’s inside ?by PinnochioP)

- Bulbel by Mili

- Oyasumi by bo en

- A New Hour by Mr.Kitty

- Bleed Black by Mr.Kitty (Bonten timeline)

- You’re somebody else by flora cash (can’t decide whose POV it fits best but it definitely describes Mikey)

- 大大大キライ/DAI DAI DAI KIRAI by DennokoP (Mikey’s words when there’s color, when it’s grey it’s Kazutora, from 2:43 to the end it’s Shinichiro)

- Mr.Fear by SIAMES

- CLOSET by Yoh Kamiyama*

(So. I love Kagerou Days. That’s like one of the first song i’ve got to heard when I went on youtube for the first time years ago. And it doesn’t work with TR timeline/story. But it could so much be an AU--) (Mikey plays the role of the boy and Takemichi the girl. Or Takemichi and Hina (with whatever role for each of them). Actually, picks two characters you wish to be stuck in a time loop, it’ll probably work ; You can imagine PekeJ as the cat idk if it adds anything)

Takemichi :

- 4:00AM by Taeko Ohnuki*

- the 1st opening of Owari No Seraph (to mikey) (different stories. Different context. Still works tho)

- I’d find you by phendste (about Hina)

Sanzu :

- Happy Pills by Weathers

- Blow my brains out by Tikkle me

- Do it for him/her (Sanzu singing it to takemichi) (also ive never watched stevens universe and this cover is the only version i can listen to the song so excuse me for ‘stronger than you’ following it)

- Room 401 by Shitoo (Sanzu thinking about the OG timeline)

- とんねる大冒険 (Great tunel adventure) by Kikuo (‘the you who is never anywhere’ is OG mikey ‘the you who should have vanished’ not-og mikey)

- p.h. sung by Miyashita Yuu

- Hyperdontia by GHOST (not all the lyrics work for this one. For example i have no idea what to do with ‘i’m pulling teeth for what seems like an eternity’ – but ‘i don’t want the infection spending’ first for his own scars then looking at mikey’s dark impulses, ‘pull ‘em out and wash ‘em off the memories – tear ‘em out and make up for forgotten years’ for the og timeline ofc, and ‘your hands in my mouth, 1,2,1,2, they never came out’ – how he got his scars. Plus ‘ahahaha’ for how mikey ordered him to laughed. 3:19 to 3:32 is (kanto manji) mikey speaking to sanzu – after learning shin was a time leaper from wakasa or something)

Takeomi :

- You are an awful person by R.I.P* (the first ‘him’ are for Shinichiro, ‘and soon he’ll realize he doesn’t need you – sooner or later he is gonna leave you’ is for sanzu tho)

- Everybody likes you by Lemon Demon (this man is the definition of wanting to feel important because he knows he isnt i swear-)

Chifuyu :

- Just take my wallet by Jack Stauber

- I can’t decide by Scissor Sisters (bad Toman timeline)

- Propaganda by Crusher (Bad Toman timeline)

- Mon amie la rose by Françoise Hardy (Bad Toman (or Manila) timeline. ‘my friend, the rose’ is Mitsuya cuz he’s the only one I can imagine - with what we’ve seen of the other Toman members of this timeline – not going full on evil)(‘you admired me yesterday – and i’ll turn into dust forever tomorrow’ for baji tho..) (btw ‘on est bien peu de chose’ while meaning, yes, in fact, ‘we don’t mean much’ also carries the meaning of ‘the person who’s in charge of us doesn’t care much about us’)

- なきそ – げのげ (Genoge by Nakiso) (genoge might mean ‘the lowest (of its kind) ; the poorest’ i don’t know japanese tho so..) (still bad toman timeline too)

Draken :

- Dark Red by Steve Lacy

- I’ll Never Smile Again by Frank Sinatra

Mitsuya :

- ビターチョコデコレーション (bitter choco decoration) by syudou sung by Miyashita Yuu (Manila timeline. Could work with Bad Toman too ig but i like the idea of Ran being the one saying ‘I remember now ! You’re that serious-looking person from back then… On second thought, nevermind’ about the festival in Roppongi where Mitsuya saw the brothers for the first time (and Ran saw him too))

Taiju :

- Saint Bernard by Lincoln Vlogs

- キリスト by 虻瀬犬 (Christ by Abuseken) (cw : repeated mentions of rape and child born out of rape) (ALRIGHT ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN THIS ONE. While i don’t specially believe the shiba siblings were born out of rape (even tho it is implied their father was (physically) abusive toward their mother) the rest of the song fits. Taiju became catholic since he didn’t have anyone to ask what he had to do – so this song of someone asking again and again things without them being ever answered fit. There’s also the ‘I’ll kill you’ at 2:52 which can so easily be said by either Taiju, Hakkai or even Yuzuha) (if you don’t see where i’m coming from interpreting taiju this way – i made a post ive pinned about it)

Izana :

- sister by eve*

- Treehouse by Alex G (with Kakucho ofc)

-🔪、🔪、🔪 ///ナイフ、ナイフ、ナイフ/// (Knife, Knife, Knife) by Kikuo

- CLOSET by Yoh Kamiyama*

Inui :

- sister by Eve*

- Washing Machine heart by Mitski (to Koko)

Koko :

- Feel dead inside by Younger Hunger

- Money by The Drums

- 요단강 (Jordan river) by Natsyona (Vivinos’s video) (well basically change the video to him making money rather than sewing a doll)

Baji’s mom :

- Lemonade by Mili*

Senju :

- Brutus by the Buttress (i like to think she was bitter about being left behind by Mikey, Baji and Sanzu. And since she kicks asses she deserves a song that does too)

Kazutora :

- YELLOW by Yoh Kamiyama

- Two birds by Regina Spektor (with Baji ofc ofc)

- No children by The Mountains Goats (still w/ Baji)

- Sigh sung by Kagamine Rin (STILL with Baji)

Kisaki :

- Dumb dumb by Mazie

Hanma :

- No one lives forever by Oingo Boingo (the lyrics fit but ngl, it’s mostly for the VibesTM)

Hinata :

- 一ツ眼リッパー殺人事件/One-Eyed Ripper Murder Case by Shitoo (this one also fit in an AU rather than the canon story (where basically Kisaki stays in contact with Hinata – everything else is the same. Naoto knows Hinata is going to die in the future). Also watch until the end, don’t be mad at the ‘little brother’ ;) )

It fits too many characters individualy OR I think of several characters at once (like Sunflower by Michele Leigh):

- Scars by Mr.Kitty (I always end up thinking about the original quartet (Mikey, Sanzu, Baji, Senju) for this one. But it works for Toman)

- Look What You Make Me Do by Taylor Swift

- Sometimes by Nick Lutsko*

- Teen Pregnancy by BLANK BANSHEE (ignoring the title -)

- Summer Nights by SIAMES

- いかないで (Ikanaide) (almost every character lost someone they hold dear)(although thinking about Mikey/Draken loosing Emma-)

- Sunflower by Michele Leigh (ex-toman members to kanto Manji/bonten Mikey... im not crying)

- Nowhere to run by Stegosaurus Rex

- Trauma by Mr.Kitty

- Fight your friends by Mr.Kitty (Three deities/Kanto manji arcs lets gooo)

- Oh Klahoma by Jack Stauber

- AaAaAaAAaAaAAa by NashimotoP

- Welcome to Paradise by grandson

- Pain Shopping by grandson

- Forgive yourself by xojira (lyrics in comments)

- 愛を探して (searching for your love) by Kikuo (ngl, it fits mikey a lot)

- あなぐらぐらし(Anagura Gurashi) by Kikuo

- 猫の食卓 (the cat’s dining table) by Kikuo

- わたあめ (cotton candy) by Kikuo

- 君が死んでも許してあげるよ (I’ll forgive you even if you die) by Kikuo

- 哀悼、そして日常は続く(Condolences, and then the everydays continue) sung by Miyashita Yuu¤

- How it ended by the drums (ex-toman members wondering about Mikey – Bonten timeline or Kanto Manji)

- Evelyn Evelyn by Evelyn Evelyn (choose your fighter among the different siblings) (honestly i mostly do with the akashi –)

- Francis Forever by Mitski

- We’ll meet again by Vera Lynn

- I’m sorry by Brenda Lee

Other audios/songs which are too shorts :

- What am I without you ? - Baji & Kazutora/Shinichiro & Takeomi (if you read toilet-bound hanako-kun and you havent finished/if you dont wanna be spoiled even if you dont know the story at all - avoid looking at the video/skip this one. couldnt find this audio by itself but for this one)

- Have we gone wrong ? from Don’t Hug Me I’m scared - Bad Toman/Manila timeline (one of toman member telling mikey he’s ‘gone wrong’, the others getting between them and brushing it off. Sanzu asking if they went wrong, Mikey answering)

- Peppermint by Jack Stauber – Takeomi & Sanzu cuz Sanzu’s hated food is anything spicy

- Hope by Jack Stauber – Shinichiro

- Rain by Jack Stauber – Shinichiro/Takemichi

- $ 4.99 by Jack Stauber – Kokonoi

- Library by Jack Stauber – Every character who has lost their mother/sister

- Big Brother i’m just like you – you know who :’)

- Is it cold outside – Izana & Kakucho

- Daisy Bell - Draken & Emma

- BMO always bounces back – Baji (‘but i’m supposed to save the rift. That’s my job’ → baji thinking he could save the founding members’ relationship by himself) (couldnt find a video with only this audio and no song - only with animatics)

- This but with Sanzu

- It’s not Michael – Takemichi when meeting one of the future Mikey

- One’s a genius, the other’s insane – Kisaki & Hanma. That made me laughed so hard the first time I thought about it

- Where did the year go – Takemichi with Manila/Bonten Mikey

[wirewitchviolet]

The Entire Plot of Final Fantasy 14, with all the expansions, and some serious analysis of how good it actually is. (Part 4 - Post-Heavensward)

At this point my schedule for posting these is mainly limited by how rare the windows are where Tumblr will let me hit the “new post” button. Hopefully the congestion clears up soon.

Last time, we got through the end of Heavensward. A story about awful fantasy-catholic blueblooded aristocrats letting their own people starve to death while pursing a genocidal war against some real chill dragons that technically has you helping the terrible people for most of it, but at least you get to kill the pope. Which of course means now Ishgard is going to stop being a horrible place full of terrible bigots, right?

Post-Heavensward

Oh no of course not! The main structural thread of this interim of free patch content is you having to babysit this uneasy peace you mostly established and make sure none of these terrible people mess it up. Or, you know, the big dragon who was the primary aggressor in this thousands-of-years-long war who went ahead and possessed the guy who killed him because for real Estinien what did you think was going to happen when you held both eyes at the same time? Honestly.

There’s a whole bit with someone commissioning a giant version of this mural from Ysayle’s little underground dragon church of the original actual Shiva and Hraesvelgr falling in love to hang outside the gates of the city which I swear is all framed perfectly for all kinds of video edit jokes, possessed Estinein flying in and really starting crap. At one point while having kind of a party someone slips something into the protagonist’s drink before getting a riot started and hey, Warrior of Light, this is the second time that’s happened, maybe lay off wine in the future. Church loyalists don’t like that you killed the pope and exposed their whole everything as a lie, some people still hate dragons, someone tries to assassinate Aymeric, things get pretty damn awful and it largely comes to a head with some jerk flinging a small child off her roof who only survives because one of your chillest of dragon pals just happened to be heading over to maybe have a chat. Ends up being a real good PR moment for team dragon when she catches the kid.

As is usual with this stuff there’s a lot of plot threads running in parallel as we had episodic updates when this first all came out, but this particular topic doesn’t stretch on too much longer, culminating of course with possessed Estinein who has the eyes fused to his armor looking kinda like Nightmare from Soul Calibur and when you fight him he’s flipping between this and a full on dragon form.

Hraesvelgr shows up to help with this mess because seriously, Hraesvelgr is a solid pal. We get some dragon on dragon fighting that doesn’t go super well for the big H, but turns out that’s because his ace in the hole is letting you borrow his eye that was already out and loose and all. So you have your big satisfying one on one (well, 8 on 1, but the plot always pretends those other party members don’t exist) boss fight, then you and Alphinaud tackle him so you can just pry those freaking eyes off his armor and toss them into the massive imposing ravine you’re fighting over. They’re stuck in there pretty good though, and the only way you get them out is with the help of the ghost of Ysayle showing up. Whole band’s back together! Hauchefant’s ghost is here helping too, but I’m sorry, he just did not leave the impression on me the writers figured he would.

Estinein is fine, of course. Again, he’s all tied in with the Dragoon job quests. In fact, when you’re stuck in the boss arena with him in dragon form waiting on party recruitment, you can totally slip out, head to the next town over, advance some Dragoon quest stuff and spar with him a bit before the main event. Stuff like that amuses me. Anyway, this whole confrontation honestly is a very good scene. Someone should really take notes at how much better all this works when you have nice unambiguously good characters not only fighting some evil jerk but actively trying to save people they care about than wannabe Game of Thrones morally grey political stuff and shadowy robed figures with ambiguous goals whispering in people’s ears. And apparently someone is. My understanding is there was a big shift in the writing staff after this expansion and the grimdark folks kinda take a back seat while the woman who wrote the real standouts of the Rogue’s Guild and Dark Knight quest lines got tapped to write the better half of the next expansion and basically everyone for The Good One.

Estinein also finally takes off his busted blood-drenched edgy armor after this, and probably takes like his first bath ever, happy that his militant badass role is no longer needed and he has friends who take care of him. Which is nice but I can’t get over how wrong he looks without the helmet. I know he’s an elf but this semi-femme look is just weird for the guy always pulling the giant eyes out at meetings.

The next major story hook we have going on, which again is pretty intertwined with this one, is that all the less friendly monster folk kinda went and took advantage of your back being turned and started summoning their gods again. Canonically this is like the fourth or fifth time you’ve had to deal with this in some cases, because there is generally some plot justification for having the hard mode versions of those fights crop up (as opposed to the hard mode versions of non-summoned-god boss fights, which are rationalized by there being this bad hanging around who comes up with extra embellished versions of your exploits and then those go into the boss fight a la carte menu).

Hey, didn’t you used to have a whole party of friends whose whole deal was keeping tabs on exactly this sort of thing? Really is high time to get that band together too. Alphinaud has been with you the whole time, getting like half the dialog in the expansion. Y’shtola you dragged out of teleport limbo earlier. Urianger just never left your original base of operations because books are hard to move, you just haven’t checked in (past starting optional boss refight questlines) because who wants to spend time with Urianger? Papalymo and Yda are missing, but we get cutaways now and then showing them hanging out behind enemy lines doing resistance stuff. That still leaves Minfilia and Thancred. Thancred you know made it out because his scuzzy barfly pseudo-spy instincts kicked in and he got out from The Incident early but he’s been way off the grid. To help track him down, you get a little assistance from Matoya eventually, but also from that friend Minfilia’s been trying to invite to join the party since a half-audible phonecall near the climax of the base game, who’s been waylaid since by stuff like the empire full on destroying the island she was living on, Krile. Yes like, from FF5 Krile, has a grandfather named Galuf and everything... and wait where the hell is this line from? This has to be an edit, right?

Aside from being a walking FF5 reference, a big nerd all your nerd friends know from nerd school, and the owner of this custom-made catgirl hoodie, Krile is on that list of Lalafel I can count on one hand who aren’t Just The Worst. Another is Rauban’s adopted son who I think gets introduced around here somewhere. Anyway her and Matoya work out where Thancred’s been hiding. He also headed way up north you just never bumped into him, and he’s had eyes on this odd situation where while in particular the bug hivemind is getting their god up and running again and you show up to do your thing, this other goup of people come out of nowhere and killsteal him.

They introduce themselves as the Warriors of Darkness. Their whole deal is that they WERE the world-saving heroes of an alternate universe, but they claim they saved it a bit too hard, setting off an apocalypse where the whole balance of light and darkness tipped way too hard towards light and now this wave of holy radiance is just gradually glassing their whole world. They came here because one of those Ascian losers taught them the whole die and have your soul head off somewhere else trick, and put it into their heads that they can avert this apocalypse by coming here and scoring enough points for team darkness to screw your world over or kill your plot immunity crystal goddess or some such, but first they need to grind some god refights to power up and presumably recharge their personal metaphysical Zelda crystal chamber progression rooms, like you had to do during Heavensward and maybe spilling into Stormblood? I don’t recall when they all come back online.

The other thing with these guys is you’ve kinda seen them before, sort of, presumably, if you let the whole intro play out in the base game. There’s the whole bit where we see that end of 1.0 apocalyptic scene play out, then these five teleporting into the woods somewhere. The implication was clearly supposed to be that this is a party of 1.0 characters showing up unscathed afterwards but... no we are totally retconning it. This is a group of dimension hoppers party crashing. Actual 1.0 survivors had to start over at level 1 with no gear and nothing to show for it but those 1.0 veteran neck tattoos I’ve seen in the wild all of one time.

This gets real confusing real quick though, because the intro movies for every expansion have a pre-rendered stand-in for your character who looks more or less exactly like the guy in the middle. Also I’m pretty sure what you look like if you just mash through character creation without changing anything from its default postion. Also that central primary actually-took-the-Warrior-job Warrior of Darkness in particular kind of is canonically your sort-of-twin/counterpart from another dimension and I figure the only reason he isn’t actually just straight up given a copy of your character model is he has a ton of voiced lines and they’d sound weird coming from whatever you actually look like. Still super confusing though that when you first see this guy in the intro you incorrectly figure that’s you, and then in all the other intros when you do see you, you might think you’re seeing this guy now that you’ve met him. It’s also weird that they all summon chocobos in hindsight, but whatever we’re retconning an old cutscene now and that oddity only becomes odd in the expansion where we see where these people came from, still several years off.

So, they suck, and go around doing their thing while you’re dealing with other things. Thancred swoops in to help you out when you first meet them, and then later since he’s keeping tabs swoops in when they happen across Allisae when she’s just minding her own business/still waiting for you to find a party for that Bahamut raid already and take her down with a poisoned arrow that almost kills her. Trying to recall if that’s one of the several times when someone mistakes her for Alphinaud or vice versa. There’s definitely one of those the first time she meets Estinein which is pretty great.

There’s also a whole bit where we get cutaways to the Warriors of Darkness having planning sessions with a mysterious shadowy figure that is just so very clearly Urianger. Like that’s a really distinctive beard and also literally not one other person in the entire world talks like that. It doesn’t turn out that Urianger is secretly evil though, just... really curious about their whole backstory and all the interesting cosmology it brings in and stuff. Plus you know, they are trying to save their world from an apocalypse, that’s worth trying to help with, just not with the plan they’re going for. But also like, hey, Urianger, you’re hanging out having chats with an Ascian, that’s never a good plan.

Allisae tags along after getting pretty plainly pulled into this mess, and she’s honestly a pretty cool no nonsense hothead type which balances out all these academic nerds some. She’s around when you meet this tiny little kobold kid freaked out because the local priest is going to sacrifice his parents to summon Titan again, and you show up uh... between the part where he killed this kid’s parents and the summoning bit. The kid’s pretty traumatized by this, and in begging for his parents back, kinda ends up, you know, summoning Titan. Who does not bring his parents back. That is explicitly a thing gods can’t do (at least if you don’t want soulless zombie-like husks of people, they can swing that). But only hackney writing can truly bring back the dead. Interesting side note here, you have to fight Titan again, but it’s not a new fight? It’s just, like, “to proceed with the story please bring up medium difficulty Titan and knock that out real quick.” Weirdest thing. Anyway at the end of this we just have this SUPER traumatized to the point of catatonia kobold kid and Allisae is super invested in his eventual recovery and it’s kind of the defining moment for her character and pays off nicely later.

There’s a lot of lore dumping associated with all this and honestly none of it fits in super well with what’s previously been established about cyclical apocalypses and it all gets retconned pretty hard again the next time it’s relevant and that revison is way better world building than “wow those evil manipulative Ascians sure are trying to make this party of noble* heroes do evil stuff to plunge the whole world into darkness” business.

* I am just never going to be able to let the whole deadly poison in an arrow fired at a random civilian thing go. There’s really no justifying that and it directly conflicts with everything they try to do with these characters later.

Anyway turns out Minfilia’s dead. Kinda. It’s complicated. To work out what’s up with her you have to go bother poor Matoya again and check out the upside down tower in her closet I accidentally mentioned too early. Which arbitrarily ends by the way with a fight against Calcabrina, that really memorable creepy doll fight from FF4. Sadly you can’t skip the big boss by killing all 6 little dolls at once here. So, your personal goddess Hydaelyn has been having connectivity issues for a while (again, this is why you needed an immunization booster in the form of a soul pact with Midgardsomnr, who still pops up to chat here and there and also manifested a cooler mount form for Azys Lla touring). So... when Minfilia was kind of just adrift in the lifestream there with Y’shtola, she kinda went “hey can I like hollow out your body to use as a mouthpiece for talking to the protagonist? It’d really help me out” and not having any sort of actual personality Minfilia agreed. She’s kinda still in there but, yeah. Also like I already assumed, just because this game is so very diligent about hammering home that all religions and gods are inherently false and parasitic, that we’re eventually leading up to a big “and that absolutely includes Hydaelyn” moment, and this here really feels like tipping their hand towards that but... somehow not one single character in the whole game sees this as a red flag or has any problem with it.

Eventually you have your big ol’ showdown with these Warrior of Darkness jerks, and its kind of a neat one showing off a lot of new mechanical concepts that will be commonplace soon, and it’s a big ol’ party vs. party thing where you fight their whole team and the Scions pull their weight for a change helping out. Allisae (who’s never really been formally on the team but is definitely A Party Member from here on out) kinda surprises everyone by announcing she’s sick of being all passive in the background with her little caster book that matches Alphinaud’s and whips out a big ol’ glowing crystal sword she’s gonna try tanking with for a change. After this she decides that’s not really for her and goes for a lighter one once the Red Mage class gets introduced.

So you beat these jerks up and send’em packing back to their home dimension, but you do feel bad for them, so Minfilia/the voice of god goes along with them to see about maybe helping out there. You know, again, we wasted a perfectly good Moonbryda to avoid killing Minfilia off earlier and then we go right and turn around and pull that trigger anyway, basically. And now we’ve just got one and a half major plot developments left and I kinda want to save the one that really sets up the next expansion for last, after I get into the sidequest stuff.

The half though is that somewhere in the middle of all this a real big preposterously tough weirdo samurai washes up by Urianger’s place, having just come over from Doma by just taking a damn rowboat over. Possibly going the long way around the world, too. I just generally enjoy this broad character archetype.

And yeah it’s weird he’s British in the English dub. It’s weird that everyone’s British. Well everyone but Gaius I guess. When we get to the third expansion people start having accents from other parts of the UK at least for a little variety, but it’s weird. Anyway Gosetsu here is a cool new friend but he’s mostly here to let Yugiri know we’re kinda getting the resistance band going again over in Doma after things were rough enough for a bunch of people to have to immigrate over here and get involved in ninja job quests. Can’t foreshadow things much harder than that.

Time for side stuff though. First off, hey, with all these flying islands we have in this expansion, we really should have some cool friendly air pirates. The sort you’d see in Skies of Arcadia, or various Ghibli films. So we do! They’re fun! And we get involved with them as they’re dealing with this big scary floating doom ship that survived a past apocalypse with some evil guys looking for ancient relics. Typical stuff from those wacky Allag- oh! Hey for like the first and only significant time it’s NOT the Allagan empire! We’re dealing with fallout from one of the OTHER world ending apocalypses and dead civilizations! This isn’t just out of the blue or anything. This stuff does come up a bit in the slew of optional dungeons that opened up after the base game, and in various class/job questlines, particularly like all the spellcaster ones.

Way back when we had three big civilizations of nerds all at once and at war with each other. We’ve got Ampador (white mages), Mhach (black mages), and Nym (scholars). And the big war they had went down in history books as the War of the Magi... because damn if the writers for this game don’t bend over backwards to work in every reference and every maybe-this-is-even-the-same-world-centuries-later deal with every old Final Fantasy game, but especially the SNES ones, and ESPECIALLY FF6. Surviving details are sketchy but basically Nym got taken out with a plague that turned everyone into tonberries, and the other two really went at it until a point where thanks to black mages spamming fire ice and lightning, and white mages spamming wind and earth, the whole world’s elemental alignment got skewed because the only people who ever cast water spells are ninja, and this caused a global flood. Really that’s what this wiki just told me.

The Mhachi got out by building a big flying arc powered by bound demons, including the queen of demons, which is just an absolutely ridiculous and irresponsibly dangerous thing to do and yes I am 100% just setting up a callback joke for when I explain what happens in later expansions. Also the demons are specifically bound in giant coffins, as is the Mhachi style, so... we have this gigantic airship made of coffins looking all Event Horizon and having this general manta rays and mind flayers aesthetic going on. I actually genuinely like that this setting has such a convoluted history with multiple fallen empires just kinda tucked away in the background so we can pull stuff like this out now and then and appreciate the shared themes and aesthetics stuff from various eras has. That’s some solid nerdy world-building I’d like to see more people tackle. I’d also kinda like to see more of it here because for real this is the only time it’s ever not the Allagans.

Helping you deal with all this and giving you ancient history backstory is this weird little familiar that’s survived since Mhachi times whose name is, can you guess the reference we’re dropping? Cait Sith. He looks... odd. Anyway, this is our big alliance raid trilogy for the expansion. Noteworthy cameo bosses include Doomgaze from FF6, who has a bunch of hard to read full party kill attacks and is a lot of fun to learn and then watch other people die to constantly, and Diabolos, who you’re actually fighting for a second time if you did an optional dungeon. Plus a bunch of reasonably original vaguely Gaelic and/or fishy demons.

Anyway speaking of weird little artificially created cute familiars, remember our dumb friend Hildibrand? You pull him out of a snow drift and have some fresh wacky shenanigans with him. This time as you pull him out, you also pull out this adorable as all hell little clockwork Black Mage called Gigi because that’s the sound your little head gears make when your memory isn’t working right, and we didn’t want to just directly go with Vivi. Hildy and his assistant Nashu argue about Gigi’s gender but totally just decide to collectively do the adoptive parents thing. At first they’re living in the gazebo of the noble family you’re still sort of crashing with (and we absolutely get some oldschool RPG nerd gazebo jokes) but eventually they decide if they’re really going to be a proper family they need a gazebo of their own, and settle for a vacant house in Idyllshire, that sort-of-a-town in the ruins of Sharlayan set up by cool goblin pals. Gigi decides their new residence needs a proper family crest too, and creates one.

Gigi is freaking adorable. Oh and Hildy’s dad also shows up during his, at one point using his renowned artisan skills to craft Gigi a new super buff muscle guy body to be a Proper Manderville Man which is pretty great while it lasts. Other little clockwork black mages/vikings/cool little guys with void faces exist incidentally, they’re called mammets and aren’t quite relics of a lost civilization, but were created early enough in the history of the current civilization that people are kinda 50/50 on still having the knowledge to fix them. Gigi is special though having this whole time reversing power that leads to various shenigans and some angsting about not being able to fix everything and a big heroic sacrifice moment leading to a powered down state, after which Gigi goes on your list of little summonable minions along with chicken-Enkidu and a bunch of other random things, to hang out and hopefully remember stuff. Oh and Hildy gets launched like half a world away again because someone points out that if Gigi is his child that makes his incongruously hot and violence-prone mom a grandmother and she cannot deal with that.

Briardien the other inspector from the last batch of Hildy stuff also pops up again, with his own longng line of really just cutscene sidequests and... I’m gonna be real with you. It is some boring Harry-Potter-ask magic school crap and my eyes glazed over as soon as it started and I just kinda blindly mashed through it all to get the little glasses-adjust emote at the end and get those exclamation points off my screen. It’s lame, he’s lame, doing a Harry Potter sort of thing is lame, I don’t care, and I’m glad he never shows up again.

But then we’ve got the "normal” raid set. Seeing chunks of this are literally what got me to take a chance on this game to begin with (well that and it’s totally free up to the end of this post you’re reading), and kept me going through the absolute slog to get to this point. Freaking Alexander as this combination city/god/confusing timefolding thing/set of a dozen or so little mini-dungeons/bossfights with really great music and where you fight a combination of goblin mad scientsts and smaller city-like robots that live inside the big one, some of whom transform.

It is just a blast playing through this bit. You’ve got all kinds of steampunky little sections where everyone has to split up and dive down big tubes and ride ultraspeedy ultra-thin conveyor belts that careen all through this big city, there’s this wacky mad scientist fight where people have to jump into pools of mystery goo that transforms them into gorillas so they can punch aside big cartoony bombs, the transformer in that bit I just linked where halfway through the fight you have to run over and jump on as it turns into a jet and just nukes the whole arena, then do a timed button press to hop off safely, and of course the specific thing someone showed me that hooked me in is the bit where you fight a set of five robots, then they fight Voltron, with a remix of an earlier track from the area in the style of a 60s tokusatsu theme.

The plot associated with this is neat too. Alexander is just kinda there, in this big frozen time bubble, barely shifting now and then to get a little bit of itself out and giving you a new entry point. Cid and friends are checking it out, because showing up to check out the cool new techy raid dungeon is their entire deal and a repeated thing. Turns out it just sort of appeared out of nowhere a few years ago, vaporized this one woman’s boyfriend, and vanished, with just a book about it and a cat left behind. One of the local goblins found the book, studied it, decided that Alexander is just the coolest thing, and summoned it the way FF14 people do to be the new utopian home of his people. Cid is horrified by this and says something along the lines of “what kind of a monster takes something as pure and beautiful as a giant robot and goes and makes a god out of it?” So you head through, cool goblin techno getting louder and more distinct as you approach the center, have a big confrontation, time travel mode gets turned on, you all get a good view as you jump back a few years, watch this guy get vaporized, and the head goblin’s cat decide he sucks and hop off with his notebook, realize there’s all sorts of time loop shenanigans as you make friends with his adorable cat.

And of course partway through all this there’s a bit about dead boyfriend gal talking about her people’s creation myths also mentioning what sure seems like Alexander popping up at some point and dumping out her Adam and Eve equivalents, so yeah, that’s where things end up for her and her less-dead-than-suspected boyfriend once all the timeloop business wraps up and you have the proper fight against Alexander, on top of Alexander, with Alexander looming in the background because time and space are all kinda going screwy on you. I swear when people say they like Heavensward what they really mean is they like this Alexander stuff you get access to after it.

Eventually though once you’re done playing with time traveling robots, air pirate demons, building a city for moogles and dragons, helping bugs reject their abusive parents, and leading dance squads for owl people, it is time to get back to that main story progression. Ishgard eventually gets it together enough to come join your alliance, and you’ve finally got the whole continent united to deal with that evil empire. The one that’s been occupying your immediate neighbor for two decades. With all the refugees. Isn’t it, uh, about time you get around to striking back and doing some liberating there? A lot of people sure think it is. This is what Papalymo and Yda have been busy with. That whole coup leading into this expansion was tied into false promises of pushing back there. For some reason though, the collected heads of state aren’t quite willing to push the button there yet though. I guess they want to intercept a fresh attack wave before they counter? That’s the go to plan in strategy games. Maybe deal with the recent summoning wave some?

In any case it really gets under the skin of the local terrorist scene as headed up by Ilberd, that guy who cut Rauban’s arm off, and they decide it’s time to force everyone’s hand by stealing a bunch of military uniforms from everyone else and assaulting the nearest imperial stronghold themselves. I am fully in support of this plan, honestly, people are really dragging their feet too much. Unfortuantely the Empire has, you know, lots of guns and death robots and while they’re too blindsided to get the real heavy ordinance out, Ilberd stole uniforms from EVERYONE, and has this whole Watchmen plan going which involves his own assault squad getting pretty well slaughtered even as you and your actual armies rush in to help, because all of them getting desperate and panicky and him busting out a big ol’ bit of aether storage in the form of one of Nidhogg’s eyes he climbed down to get from the big hole you tossed it down let’s him do a big ol’ large scale summoning. You suck Ilberd. Could have just forced a war all regular.

It seems like the new summon is coming in all extra huge and Bahamut looking, and Papalymo, having recently borrowed what’s left of Louisoix’s staff (oh yeah, there was a whole thing with Ascians wanting that because it has some ancient super good aether channeling rock built in, this came up with the Moonbryda stuff I think), decides to recreate that whole save world from giant god dragon thing from the ol’ intro, despite the fact that he knows it kills the caster, and the fact that like, you’re right there. You kill gods, it’s your whole thing, you could take it. Yda’s pretty upset with this plan because those two are pretty close and goes all “if you’re dying here so am I.” Thancred just goes “no you’re freaking not” and drags her off. Hey, finally everyone’s getting some real characterization here. Anyway Papalymo’s dead. I guess that’s kinda tragic. He’s certainly been around the whole time. If I’m honest he was never really well established though? He’s a healer, he fusses over people like C-3PO. I guess he’s on that short list of Lalafel I don’t hate. But the most interesting thing about him is a bit we only just find out here now that he’s dead.

Yda is also dead. Has been for some time. Apparently since some time in 1.0, even. The original Yda was a monk with serious self-esteem issues with her face and/or a desire to hide her traditional Ala Migan face tattoos, and therefore always wore a mask, so when she died in some big attack, her younger sister Lyse just had to steal her mask and pretend to be her for uh... basically as long as anyone present has known her aside from Papalymo. The big reveal is that like most of the Scions, she has these fancy neck tattoos everyone in 1.0′s Scions equivalent had, but the real Yda died after getting those, and these were an illusion Papalymo was creating. I feel like this would land a lot better if the real Yda died more recently, like, oh, when things went bad in Ul’dah? But even then she hadn’t really been established as much of a character. Just a little bit of a bimbo, kicks people, hangs with the short healer. But it’s pretty significant to her, so she’s ditching the mask, going back to using her real name, and really keen on being basically the main character for the next expansion like Alphinaud was for this one since the whole fallen fortress/giant god summon thing did totally force everyone’s hand.

Oh but first that there god is still there, just kinda temporarily bound, and we don’t have a moon handy to lock it up in. Which of course means it’s time for you to kill it right? Well... normally it would be, but Cid and Nero are kinda “on again” just now and Nero found this cool robot buried underground and mostly worked out the manual and he just really really pretty please wants to see a big cool CGI fest cutscene where a big Godzilla-ish spacey dragon fights a weird vaguely Gamera like robot. This is objectively a horrible idea, for the record. You totally can and do just go punch that dragon to death like every other god, and Nero’s robot kinda goes on to cause a real problem in the next post-expansion, and then again like, time of writing, the Ultimate difficulty fight with it has only been beaten once by people who were exposed as flagrantly cheating. That’s all on you Nero, so I hope you enjoy your pointlessly indulgent cutscene.

Are you happy now Nero? Are you? You know I STILL haven’t finished FF5 thanks to Omega. Gotta go and add that to this game too huh, well I hope you’re happy. I guess big dragons and robots fighting in cutscenes is a series tradition though, and it’ kind of neat to get a preview of what some bosses’ deals are going to be WELL in advance of when you get to fight them. For now they’re both down for the count, we get a shot of the Domans heading home, the main villain for the next expansion seeing and appreciating that splashy fight because that’s the sort of thing he’s into, and for the 4th time, we have a very long credits roll, marking the end of what you can play without putting up any cash. Which is admittedly a solid chunk of game, only most of which is super boring and tedious!

So yeah, again, I honestly straight up do not like Heavensward. Too much time hanging out with just the absolute worst people, even if you do get to personally kill kind of a lot of them, and none of the dungeons or boss fights are particularly interesting either (Bismark would be if it had teeth). Post-Heavensward though? Pretty solid overall. We really start fleshing out the main cast, and have some really just bonkers side quests with a lot of creative energy and memorable moments. As of here though I would still say no FF14 is a terrible game with a bad plot but has some really neat optional content once you’re an expansion deep. And I would have to stop here since again, this is where the free version ends, and while I got here just around the end of when the free-trial availability’s hammering of the servers forced them to shut down new character registration and I could invite some friends in, they all bounced off before even the first dungeon. People I know who’d been in it a while though went and gifted me the other expansions and several months of time cards though, so next post I’ll be talking about the second expansion. Is that where things finally get good? Eh kinda. They get pretty OK at least. It does weird me out that things get much more enjoyable right at the point you need to put money in though.

Speaking of money I am still like one bad day away from being homeless, and I have a Patreon. You don’t have to give ME money to learn what’s in these next 3 expansions, but I’d sure appreciate it if you did.

Next time, Stormblood... which I swear will be a shorter write-up. But then I always think that.

[thequeenwechoose]

My episode ranking of the first 5 episodes of House of the Dragon

mild spoilers

1. King of the Narrow Sea

Episode 4 was the most anticapated one of the first half for me. The book is very confusing on what really happend between daemon and rhaenyra. I like the way they handled it very good. The characters were established and i had fun to watch it. The parallels between alicent and rhaenyra showed the diffrence between their lifes. And daemon was his best chaotic self.

2. Heirs of the Dragon

The pilot was the most important episode for me because it can make the show or let it fail. I would never watch a show if the pilot would not draw me in and here it did. The tourney was spectacular and full of action. They introduced the characters very good and laid a good foundation. I started watching because of the dragons and Daemon Targaryen (the most interesting character in the books for me) and he got me. Love the high valyrian. In thrones there where only sinle lines or words of it here there are full conversations in it.

3. Second of his name.

This ranks only so high because of the battle in the stepstones. I was very much looking forward to some action scenes. And they were fantastic. Daemon and caraxes in the dark gave me chills. And daemons suicide misson was awesome. I could not help but to think about battle of the bastards but with more logic. First jon is not a madmen, daemon clearly is thats why this is working so well. Second jon gets shot at with hundreds of arrows and attacked by a cavallerie and does not get hit once, Daemon gets shoot 3 times and he would have died if not for the help of seasmoke and leanor. The music gave me chills and matt smith not speaking a single word was a fantastic choice. The hunting scene on the other hand was very boring to me i almost sleept in.

4. The Rouge Prince

A solid second episode. The normal day at court and rhaenyra trying to find her role as heir. But she was constantly pushed back by her father and the council. The only person who has the heart to tell her the truth of what will happen was rhaenys and i like her for her honesty. I think rhaenys is a very important character in a subtle way. Love her relationship with corlys they seem to get along very well. Some of the most important decisions are made in this episode viserys marys alicent and chrison gets appointed as kings guard. And than there was dragonstone my favourite location in thrones. It felt very good and nostalgic to see it again.

5. We light the way

I know many people liked this episode but i did not. Here is why: It had so many errors for me. A huge book violation in the beginning with daemon murdering his wife and showing it. You dont have to show everything, rhaenys tells viserys later and that would have been enough for me because you could at least have speculated if he did it or if it was an accident. What it could have been because when you lie under a horse and it stands up it will not look if his rider is under him it could crush your skull by stepping on it. Especially when you have broken your neck and can't move. The whole alicent situation does not make sense to me why is she so upset about rhaenyra sleeping with chole? Its not her buissness. And why does she belive her father that rhaenyra will kill her children should she not trust her husband? And the whole chole situation is just stupid he  kills a guy in the middle of a feast and walks way? Another book violation by the way. He killed joffrey in a tournament in the book and you could belive it was an accident. And he asks rhenyra to run away with him because he felt guilty not because he loves her. I guess i dont like weddings in westeros most of them are very dark and moody and you can wait for some shit to happen. Driftmark was very beautiful, the hall of corlys was full of so many details. Amazing set design. Its always nice to explore more parts of westeros. The episode gave me the feeling they had to tie loose ends ( Daemon and Laena, Viserys illnes) in a hurry and set up the second half. I dont say they did not a good job i just don't like it very much.

The show has very high quality standard a great look for details. The dragons look very diffent and individual. The only problem are the time jumps but i understand they are neccesarry to cary on the story. But it gets confusing when they change the actors three times for one person. In conclusion i love the show and can't wait to see the rest of the season.

Favourite Characters: Daemon, Rhaenys, Rhaenyra, Corlys and Viserys.

Team Black

[tarysande]

Thoughts on 5x16

I haven’t had time to do my full rewatch yet, but I wanted to watch the finale again (because I’ve got a relevant one-shot in the works). I have no idea if anyone else has talked about this yet--nor have I seen a gif set crossed my dash, and it deserves a gif set--but wow, Chloe’s death and resurrection almost perfectly echo Lucifer’s death and resurrection at the end of S1. 

Only, in 1x13, everything is dark. The whole scene in the hangar is shot in the cold blues of Hell. In 5x16, everything is golden. There’s a real hell/heaven parallel. But that light is menacing, too. It’s blinding, it burns. Malcolm shoots Lucifer in the stomach; Michael stabs Chloe in the stomach--in both, the magnitude of the blood loss is framed really specifically.

Lucifer dies alone, pleading with a father he believes is absent in what is a catalyst of a selflessness that sets Lucifer on a very different path. He pleads for Chloe’s life and offers up his own as payment--as the return on the favor he’s asking. 

Chloe dies in Lucifer’s arms, pleading with him not to feel guilty, knowing what guilt has done to Lucifer in the past. She dies with love on her lips. 

In S1, Lucifer wanders the halls of hell; in S5, Chloe picnics in Heaven. And even though the dark and light are in play here, there’s still a sense of sadness, of loss. I know some people disagree with me on this, but Heaven made me nearly as uncomfortable as Hell. Instead of hell loops of guilt, Heaven is cherry-picked memories of happiness. “Just like I remembered,” Chloe says as she bites into the sandwich, but moments later, when her father calls her ‘Monkey’--her nickname for Trixie--not even a flutter of recognition of what she’s left behind registers. Both Heaven and Hell use human memories to manipulate them. The memories are nicer in Heaven, but they’re incomplete. And if someone must be rendered incomplete for the afterlife to work, I’m sorry, that doesn’t strike me as heavenly. (Would Chloe forget Trixie if Trixie dies and goes to Hell? Would she ever think of Dan again, if thinking about him means she has to remember he’s in Hell for eternity?)

In S1, Lucifer’s resurrection is wrapped in mystery. Was it God? Was it the loophole of the bargain he made with Malcolm (i.e., because Malcolm shot him, Malcolm broke the deal that granted him the pentecostal coin, thus returning the coin to Lucifer for him to use to return to life)? In S5, we see the exchange that returns Chloe to life--Lucifer’s first selfless act echoed in what becomes his ultimate selfless act: Choosing her life over his own, even if it means he ceases to exist.

There’s a gorgeous parallel that happens here. In S1, Lucifer’s heartbeat is an underlying part of the soundtrack as he dies; it falls silent when he dies. In S5, we hear Chloe’s heartbeat before we see her. In extremely similar shots, we see Chloe return to life almost identically to the way Lucifer did--the gasp, the sitting upright. Lucifer is shot, gasps, looks down, sees blood on his fingers, heartbeats. Chloe has heartbeats, gasps, looks down, sees blood on her fingers, rises. Bookends. 

Malcolm says “I feel like I’ve been given a second chance, and I’m sure as hell not going to waste it” when he threatens to kill Chloe. Lucifer follows this with, “Is this really what you did with your second chance? Dearie me.” In the finale, we see the idea of second chances again and again--for good. For hope.  

There’s another great moment here. In Lucifer’s prayer, he says, “I don’t know if this is all part of the plan”--oh, I think it very much was--"...I’ll be the son you always wanted me to be”--Lucifer is the one who thinks his dad wanted him to be the devil; but I think the Lightbringer is the son his dad always wanted him to be--“I’ll do as you ask. Go where you want me to.” It’s so important here that Lucifer (and the audience) assume this is all related to Hell. God, I think, had very different ideas about what he was asking and where he wanted his son to be.

Chloe and Lucifer do the same thing upon resurrection, too, for that matter: punch a bad guy. We don’t know if Lucifer would’ve killed Malcolm--but Chloe stopped him before he could, before he could do something that wasn’t him: kill a human. We do know Chloe was seriously considering killing Michael--but Lucifer stopped her before she could do something that wasn’t her: killing from a place of vengeance.

Anyway. Writing, acting, cinematography, direction--it’s phenomenal. 

And it really needs a gif set. ;D

[evilmortys]

okay,  so,  here  are  my  thoughts  on  the  finale,

i’m  gonna  start  with  the  things  i  didn’t  like,  just  because  of  who  i  am  as  a  person!  my  feelings  are  mixed,  but...  looks  lovingly  at  evil  morty.  he  truly  was  the  only  exception  as  usual  ♥

i’m  not  going  to  lie,  this  whole  thing  felt.  rushed.  although  some  of  rick’s  meta  commentary  about  not  touching  citadel  shit  because  it  was  canon  and  he  and  morty  were  supposed  to  be  going  back  to  lighthearted  one  off  adventures,  and  “the  second  he  reveals  that  he’s  evil,  we’re  out”  made  me  laugh,  it  also  felt  very  disingenuous  and  ham-fisted.  having  him  do  all  these  fourth  wall  breaks  honestly  took  away  from  the  impact  of  what  this  episode  could  have  been,  but  whatever.  

i  just  got  the  vibe  that  they  wanted  everyone  to  stfu  about  the  citadel  and  evil  morty,  so  they  quickly  stuck  together  this  episode  that  dealt  with  fans’  demand  in  one  fell  swoop  so  they  could  move  on  from  the  existence  of  both  plotlines.  i  honestly  thought  it  was  a  bit  wasteful  since  tales  from  the  citadel  resonated  with  a  lot  of  fans  and  it  was  an  interesting  bit  of  worldbuilding  with  compelling  narratives  going  on.

you  already  all  likely  know  how  irritated  i  am  with  morty’s  character  degrading  so  much  once  again.  this  entire  season  has  been  building  him  up  to  becoming  so  much  more  capable,  only  to  wrench  it  away  from  him  again  by  instead  having  his  co-dependency  with  rick  ramped  up  to  the  point  it  was  literally  out  of  character.  this  has  come  out  of  nowhere.  at  no  point  in  the  show’s  entire  run  has  morty  ever  been  this  needy  with  rick.  

again,  i  feel  like  this  may  have  been  written  around  what  eventually  ended  up  happening  at  the  citadel,  with  the  revelation  that  mortys  are  ‘bred  for  forgiveness.’  it  would  have  been  far  more  compelling  for  our  morty  to  have  continued  to  go  down  the  path  of  being  decidedly  unforgiving  of  rick’s  bullshit,  thereby  making  him  deviate  from  the  norm  in  a  similar  way  to  evil  morty  himself  and  implicating  that  the  cycle  of  a  morty  going  to  these  extremes  is  going  to  be  repeated  once  again.

rick  did  not  deserve  or  earn  voicing  the  recognition  that  his  dynamic  with  morty  was  toxic,  and  abusive.  are  you  fucking  kidding  me?  the  smartest  man  in  the  universe  only  JUST  clocked  onto  that?  bullshit!  he’s  known  all  along,  and  he’s  been  using  it  for  his  own  gain!  he  doesn’t  get  to  just  say  it  with  that  regretful  voice  as  if  he’s  been  clueless  /  oblivious  to  it  this  entire  time.  they  just  wanted  the  audience  to  feel  sympathetic  for  him  by  throwing  in  this  tidbit  and  a  tragic  backstory,  as  if  that  even  sort  of  makes  up  for  everything  he’s  put  his  family  through.  

abandoning  the  people  you’ve  hurt  is  ALSO  abusive  and  toxic  behaviour!  he’s  done  it  time  and  time  again!  how  is  acknowledging  the  fact  that  you  hurt  people,  that  you  hurt  your  family,  the  people  that  love  you  despite  the  fact  you  objectively  don’t  deserve  it,  then  ditching  them  once  again  instead  of  staying  with  them  and  improving  as  a  person  and  helping  everyone  heal  from  what  you’ve  put  them  through,  ANY  BETTER??  he  never  changes!!

i  also  couldn’t  really  process  the  fact  that  rick  just  handed  morty  his  portal  gun  like  it  was  nothing--  i  feel  like  him  topping  it  off  and  using  it  behind  rick’s  back  should  have  been  a  bigger  deal  than  what  it  was.  also,  morty  would  not  break  a  guy  out  of  a  mental  asylum  without  a  second  thought.  he  simply  wouldn’t  do  that.

we’ve  fallen  right  back  into  the  status  quo  of  morty  being  stupid  and  rick  being  the  smartest  one  in  the  room  who  always  knows  what’s  going  on,  even  when  he  actually  shouldn’t  for  the  sake  of  a  few  meta  jokes.  which  is  more  annoying  than  i  can  put  into  words  tbqh

obviously  i  hated  all  the  parallels  they  were  attempting  to  make  between  rick  and  morty  having  a  romantic  relationship  and  “breaking  up.”  never  has  morty  behaved  so  uncharacteristically  in  any  other  episode  of  the  show.  it  honestly  felt  disrespectful  to  all  the  growth  he’s  had  as  a  character  to  reduce  him  to  something  so  pathetic.

i  guess  this  is  less  of  a  thing  i  disliked,  and  more  of  a  commentary  on  rick’s  character?  but  once  again,  his  hypocrisy  really  leapt  out  at  me  once  it  was  revealed  that  he  always  has  a  hand  in  bringing  together  beths  and  jerrys  in  order  to  ensure  that  more  mortys  will  end  up  in  the  multiverse.  i  find  it  unbelievably  sad  that  he’ll  willingly  ensnare  the  two  of  them  in  the  throes  of  a  relationship  that  he  knows  is  likely  to  become  toxic  and  cause  the  both  of  them  to  be  miserable  throughout  their  time  together;  they’re  rarely  happy  /  compatible  together  and  always  end  up  sticking  it  out  for  the  kids.  it  also  makes  his  constant  shitting  on  jerry  even  more  egregious  and  almost  serves  to  call  his  love  for  his  daughter  into  question  for  me.  he’s  using  her  as  a  means  to  his  own  ends  by  manipulating  situations  so  she’ll  meet  jerry  and  they’ll  likely  end  up  together.  

don’t  get  me  wrong,  i  actually  really  loved  the  fact  he  had  a  hand  in  founding  the  citadel  he  now  loathes  so  much,  and  i  think  the  constant  creation  of  mortys  as  grandsons  ‘bred  to  forgive’  ricks  is  so  fucked  up  and  awful  in  the  most  intriguing  way.  it’s  akin  to  him  fiddling  with  the  concept  of  keeping  mortys  in  constant  pain  to  cloak  his  comings  and  goings  around  the  multiverse  (on  paper,  morty,  on  paper!),  except  this  time  he  did  it  in  reality.

evil  morty.  oh  my  god,  evil  morty.  my  saving  grace.  my  ray  of  light.  i’m  so,  so,  so  pleased  with  the  way  he  was  handled.  while  i  admit  i  was  looking  forward  to  more  of  a  slow - burn  thing,  getting  a  bit  of  insight  into  his  presidency  and  possibly  exploring  a  dynamic  with  him  and  c-137  (we’ll  get  to  that)...  i  honestly  still  really  loved  what  ended  up  happening  with  him,  even  though  i  still  believe  on  some  level  that  they  just  wanted  to  tie  up  his  narrative  thread  so  fans  wouldn’t  remain  fixated  on  him.

of  course  he  did.  of  course  that  motherfucker  rick  created  a  boundary  within  the  infinite  multiverse  that  ensured  he’d  always  be  the  smartest  man  within  it  as  far  as  mortys  and  other  people  in  his  life  were  concerned.  i’ve  always  found  it  odd  that  such  universes  were  never  brought  up  even  in  passing;  the  nature  of  infinite  possibilities  always  dictated  that  someone  smarter  than  him  must  exist  out  there,  and  that  worlds  existed  where  he  was  nobody  special.

him  being  morally  gray.  i  could  cry.  i  was  clinging  on  to  the  hope  that  it  would  be  shown  he  hates  ricks  more  than  he  looks  down  on  mortys,  and  it  absolutely  was.  while  he  was  okay  with  killing  and  hurting  mortys  to  achieve  his  own  “selfish”  ends,  it’s  clear  that  he’s  unhappy  with  the  cycle  of  abuse  from  their  infinite  grandfathers  that  pushes  him  to  these  extremes,  loathes  the  concept  that  mortys  are  not  supposed  to  defy  their  ricks.  “if  you’ve  ever  been  sick  of  him,  you’ve  been  evil  morty  too.”  he  hates  ricks  FAR  more  than  he  does  mortys,  and  you  can  pry  that  from  my  cold,  dead  hands.  he  believes  mortys  are  beyond  help  because  of  the  way  they  stick  by  rick--  the  fact  they’re  literally  created  with  being  yes-men  for  rick  in  mind.

he  didn’t  seek  to  make  changes  for  the  greater  good  of  other  mortys  within  the  citadel.  i  think  he  understood  on  some  level,  it  was  impossible.  i  think  he  has  this  belief  that  other  mortys  are  part  of  the  problem,  because  they  perpetuate  the  cyclic  dynamic  of  toxicity  and  harm--  they  don’t  move  to  break  free  from  it  the  way  he  does,  and  so  he  feels  no  guilt  leaving  them  behind  while  he  breaks  into  the  aspect  of  the  multiverse  where  rick  has  no  power.  it’s  honestly  heartbreaking  that  he’s  come  to  have  a  mindset  like  that.  

i  think  seeing  c-137  reach  out  to  help  rick  up  once  again  instead  of  accepting  what  i  hope  and  pray  was  a  semi - genuine  offer  to  join  him  as  he  departed  was  just  yet  another  instance  of  him  witnessing  a  morty  doing  the  most  to  save  the  man  who  makes  their  lives  a  living  hell.  if  he  was  truly  unsympathetic,  he’d  have  made  no  such  offer.  if  he  thinks  a  morty  is  capable  of  pulling  away  from  the  hold  ricks  have  on  them,  he  wants  them  out  of  this  shit  just  as  much  as  he  himself  wants  to  break  free  from  it.  i  think  he  has  the  mindset  that  i  know  they  tried  to  play  it  off  with  “haha  the  other  seat’s  a  toilet,”  but  i  don’t  think  that  was  the  case  and  they  were  once  again  just  undermining  the  moment  for  no  good  reason.  SCREAMS!!  don’t  get  me  wrong  what  he  did  WAS  selfish  and  evil.  but  in  a  way  you  can  understand  where  it  derives  from

again,  it  REALLY  irritates  me  they’ve  undone  so  much  of  morty’s  character  just  to  ensure  he  wouldn’t  end  up  taking  evil  morty  up  on  his  proposition.  if  morty  had  retained  even  a  tenth  of  the  character  growth  he’s  been  having  from  late  season  four  until  towards  the  end  of  season  five,  wherein  it  began  to  unravel,  he’d  have  left  rick.  undeniably.

the  yellow  portal.  oh  my  god............

it  made  me  so  fucking  emotional  to  see  that.  he’s  won.  he’s  free.