#Caitlin Rewatches The Rookie

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers. :) AH the post breakup ep. This one almost hurts more. It's most apt ep name of the entire season. ‘Crushed.’ Boy does this name hold up to what goes down in this episode. As much as it sucks what goes down with Blair. She was damn good at her job and this ep proves that. Lots of Tim analysis in this one as you all know is my jam. Eric and Melissa continue to crush us in this one. Phew. Let us begin.

6x07 Crushed

We start out strong with the soul crushing. Lucy’s necklace and DOD ring are noticeably absent. They know the fandom well to take away these objects. Of course we were going to notice them being gone. Hurts my heart to see it. Makes sense but doesn’t make it ache less. Our poor collective shipper heart. Granted the ring was her's long before Tim…BUT we all know what it represents. Her life being saved. Throwing it out in the hopes he would find it and save her. Represents him digging his bare hands into the earth to retrieve her from it. *sniffle* I’m fine….

Her necklace being gone is just a stark reminder of where we are with them. I hate it. The opening sequence is a gut punch to our feels. To Lucy’s too. Tamara is moving out. This also hurts to watch. The end of an era. Lucy is grasping at straws asking if she needs more time before she goes? Tamara asks if she needs her to stay? With the breakup and all? Lucy instantly say no. Even if she wanted to she'd never ask that of her. But it’s clearly upsetting Lucy watching her whole world being dismantled.

She went from having the love of her life with her daily, and Tamara living there, to neither of those things within a week. She literally blinked and her two pillars of support were gone. I adore her making dinner reservations for her though. Wanting to celebrate despite her current sadness. Tamara asks if Tim really got kicked out of Metro? Lucy immediately saddens and morosely replies ‘Yeah.’ Tamara being her protective self in her reply. I mean she isn’t wrong…But it brings Lucy zero comfort and it’s written all over her face. *sigh*

We go from one heartbreaking scene to another. Once again the punches not being pulled in the last 3 eps. I feel emotionally winded. For only having 10 eps they sure did pack them full of it. Which I was impressed with. We see Tim disassembling his Metro office. Hurts me to see it. Official time of death for Metro Tim is now. You all know how much I loved him in this position. I really hate this. Was more than him being fine af in that outfit. Was years of hard work flushed down the toilet *snaps fingers* Just like that. Really paints the picture of his trajectory downward after Ray.

I hate this on a personal level for him. The breakup is excruciating but adding this in is... It's salt into an already raging wound. Worst part is we watch him being stoic with Wade. Trying to pull all the company lines. Whatever will get him back on duty and Grey out of his hair. Luckily Wade isn’t so easily duped. He knows this man well. Been his superiors for years. Can see the grunt mentality Tim is displaying. Knowing how unhealthy it is. Grey lets him know Dr. London will be shadowing him. Tim is naturally upset about this.

This wasn't the work he meant lol Knowing exactly why this is happening. Wade doesn’t sugar coat it when Tim pushes back. Nor should he. Lists off the reasons he questions Tim's judgment right now. The reckless behavior that had him bounced out of Metro and back to patrol. Secondly breaking up with Lucy. Tim forgets this man watched over the years how Tim blossomed around her. Even more so when they got together. To toss that away is just as reckless as his behavior that lost him Metro. Tim is in a free fall atm. Grey is just trying to soften the landing when he comes back to Earth.

Tim being a lying liar who lies. Says him breaking up with Lucy had nothing to do with Ray. Oh my love you don’t really believe that do you? Because it has EVERYTHING to do with it. Was the catalyst to breaking all our hearts. It's clearly a tactic to get out of his ride along with Blair. The man as we know runs from and buries his feelings. Only person to ever get him to open up he’s shoved away at this point. Phew. This somehow hurts more the second to watch and dissect.

Wade stands his ground about the ride along. Saying if he wants to even begin to earn his trust back. It starts here. Otherwise he’s going to get mandated therapy. Which honestly I would’ve hated for him. Because therapy’s something you need to come to on your own. Not have it thrust upon you. So I’m glad Grey started out with this observation first. The man knows what he’s doing. Tim gives into his order of taking her with. Little does he know he’s going to end up doing both.

But that’s the beauty of this episode tbh. Once that is settled Wade slyly mentions he’s taking Lucy out. Tim being salty says for ‘Evaluating her too?’ I love Grey’s slick smile replying he’s just observing. Like I said earlier. The man knows what he’s doing. He’s also worried about them both. He knows how serious their relationship was. Probably thought their next step was marriage. So for it to be over he’s gotta do damage control. He’s the MVP of this ep.

This scene with Smitty still makes me blood BOIL. Months later and it still has me incensed with him. With that jackass too who was betting Tim cheated. How very fucking dare you nobody officer. If you knew Tim at all you’d know he would NEVER. Not ever. Neither of them would. It’s so degrading for both Tim and Lucy.

Also her and Aaron? Excuse me while I go vomit. I love how she dismantles Smitty. Straight up kills him. The shame on his face is something he deserves and more. This one of the many reasons people knowing was the worst. Because cops or not this was gonna feed the rumor mill. People gossip no matter the profession. Lucy telling him how wildly inappropriate this is. Honestly she should’ve reported his ass.

I would’ve. I'm crazy protective of them both. So I hated this scene for them. And for Lucy out of the two of them to find it ugh….Smitty promises he’ll shut it down right away. Damn right you will mofo….That scene still gets under my skin more than I would like. We were all in mourning as a fandom. So this scene lit my Italian rage up. Hated rewatching it. Made me sick to think of them gossiping about them. Still hate this whole thing. Doesn’t get easier with time.

The pain train continues forward with this next scene. The LAST thing Lucy needed in this moment was to bump into Tim. Especially coming off the heels of scolding Smitty. We see her rubbing her tattoo like no tomorrow. Trying to calm her raging emotions. She doesn’t even get a second to breathe, before running into the cause of her deep hurt.

Gotta commend Melissa and Eric for this awkward encounter. Lucy has zero time for this. Can’t even process what just happened with Smitty let alone this. Doesn’t stay in that corridor long. Poor Lucy almost stumbles over herself to get away from Tim. Shaking her head as he calls out for her. Rip my damn heart out some more why don't you writers? Good lord. Killing me softy. 5 minutes in and I’m a damn mess. Also what kills me in this scene how Tim lights up when he sees her.

Ugh you can’t do that after what you did Timothy. You stole her voice and her choice in that breakup. You can’t be surprised she doesn’t want to see you. You destroyed her in that parking lot. Decimated her loving spirit when you took off. Eric once again killing me with his expressions. His reaction after she all but dashes from him breaks my heart. This was self inflicted but hurts to watch none the less. To see them reduced to this awkward interaction is devastating.

I will say I adore Blair for coming right at Tim from the jump. Doesn’t wasn’t any damn time calling him on his crap. His person isn’t there to do it. So she is the next best thing. Well other the Angela. But he needed to hear this stuff from a professional. My sister can tell me something and it doesn’t resonate. My therapist does and it clicks. Idk why. Just does. Tim NEEDED this ride along just didn’t know it yet.

Doesn’t take her long to call Tim out for his decision to use Aaron as a buffer. Is reading him like a book she’s known for years. Saying he’s doing so cause he’s exhibiting classic avoidance attachment style. (Totally is...) Tim having not been in therapy is confused at her reply. She continues to depict him further. Explaining he prefers surface level over deep intimacy. Which is the case with everyone but Lucy…

She continues on to say it’s a defense mechanism. One that is developed due to an overly strict or domineering parent. Usually a father. Tim getting nervous already goes on the defensive. Like he always does when someone has him dead to rights. Did it to Lucy and Angela. This therapist is no different. Stating he isn’t a fan of this and there is going to be no over sharing. Ok love….

I do adore Grey for making sure Lucy is taken care of. We all know our girl isn’t going to take care of herself. Her and Tim are scary alike in this way. They’d rather take care of others than do any form of self care. So Wade is doing it for her which I love. He didn’t pick Tim he picked HER. He gave Tim what he needed with the therapist. Also we don’t get enough Lucy and Wade so I was all about this.

We know he’s worried because she’s taken hit after hit this year. Tim being the biggest blow of all. These other things were horrible but she had him. Her person. Her pillar. Now that’s gone and she’s losing Tamara to boot. She needed this ride along as much as Tim needed his. To say this season has been tough on her would be the understatement of the century. I’m hurting for her so much. Her entire world was ripped out from underneath her.

I think Grey can tell it’s pent up inside her. The constant ‘I’m ok and I’m fine.’ Are really cries for help. The awkwardness continues when they run into Tim getting ready for the day. Lucy extends the awkwardness inviting everyone EXCEPT Tim to Tamara’s farewell dinner. Well and Dr. London heh Who is watching this entire exchange go down. This shot from his cam feeling very intentional as he watches her invite everyone but him. A little shot at his soul watching this happen. He watches her depart sadly some definite longing in it. Oh Timothy you did this to yourself my love. Grey patting his arm as he follows Lucy out.

Lucy and Grey’s first call strikes a personal chord. Far too close to what she and Tim just went through. They show up to a couple fighting. The girl is losing her mind on him. Little stabs to the heart what this woman is upset about. Saying how she thought they were happy. How she thought he was the one. Then it just ended. How it doesn’t make sense. Ooof. My heart hurts.

I hate how relevant this call is for Lucy. Crushed is the theme through out this one. Apropos ep name if we’ve ever had one. Lucy then gets paranoid because she is feeling exposed in this moment. Feeling things she’s been suppressing gurgling up. Asking Grey if he set this up? That Tim just bailed on her. That their first call was about a woman being ghosted. I adore his reply. It’s Top Notch Wade Grey goodness.

Puts her in her place right away with that notion. But it’s very telling to him in this moment how much she needs this shift with him. The amount she has pent up is immense. The fact that she reacted the way she just did proves that. Her sensitivity level is sky high atm. Lucy’s reply when they get back in the car is hilarious though. Much needed levity in a tense moment LOL ‘It’s my bad.’ Hahahaha oh Lucy Chen never change. We love you so.

Dr. London hits the ground running with the case they have. Aaron bringing up it’s always the boyfriend right? When it comes to missing cases like this? It’s here Blair inserts her like about breakups. It’s SPOT ON. Say what you will about her as a person but she was damn good at her job. At zeroing in on someone and what makes them tick. What is holding them back. And her line about breakups is just that for Tim. Stating it’s a trigger for many men. How stereotypical gender roles prevent them from seeking help. It gets under Tim’s skin instantly. I’m sure she said for a few reasons.

First because It’s an accurate statement for most men. Sad but true. Two because she feels this fits Tim perfectly and his current situation. And lastly to see how he would react. Which of course is defensively, but she’s methodically chipping away at his wall. That statement is not only this situation. But it’s Tim’s entire life. His father called him. ‘Poor little Tim-Tim.’ This was not a term of endearment but a mockery of his feelings. For even having them let alone expressing them. To have feelings was shameful and to act on them even more so. Looked at Tim with disgust and disappointment for it.

That scene in 4x09 in his father's hospital room was a painful glimpse into his childhood. To how he was treated for ever being emotional or needing help. So of course he’s not going to reach out for help. It’s deeply ingrained in him not to do as such. Breaks my heart. Grew up the same way. Being pegged as ‘Sensitive’ or mocked for what they perceived as emotional tantrums. When I was just a little person with emotions and didn't know how to regulate them. I was emotionally imbalanced because of my parents. Just like Tim is cause of his father. Blair is testing the water with her theory and striking gold in this moment. Quite the opening volley from her.

Grey starts on his own inquiry into how Lucy is. Clearly needing to since she exploded at their last call. Asking if she’s talked to Tim since the breakup? She is brief and just replies nope. Although her reply is brief her emotions are not. Just hearing his name is springing up tears to her eyes. Melissa aiming to do the same to me in this scene. Straight killing me at how damn sad she looks. I hate it so much. Lucy follows it up with saying she thought he didn't care about her personal life?

Oof giving me Tim flashbacks to 3x08. When she was questioning why they were talking about her personal life? Grey's answer obviously different in this instance. Telling her he cares if it affects her job. I mean he is Watch Commander. This is a valid thing to worry about. Also part of the reason for this ride along. To gauge where she is at and how it’s affecting her on the job. Grey connects the dots of Tim’s IA investigation and their breakup. Knowing it’s not a coincidence.

Tells Lucy as such that he can’t help but wonder if there’s a connection. I mean obviously there is. He’s just not going to get that out of either of them. He failed earlier with Tim. Also it's not the connection he think's it is. I do love her instinct to protect Tim regardless of the hurt. Was pressed and she doesn’t budge. That is a natural thing for her bad place or not. Lucy may not fully understand the why of it all. But she would never cast suspicion on him due to it. She just loves him and will protect him even when he has no idea. I’m not crying you are….*sniffle*

Lucy reinforces the idea it was nothing of the sort. That it was just weird timing that’s it. Then she goes into analysis mode. Which is her form of defense mechanism IMO. If she can try to understand it. Figure out the why. Maybe she can start to heal from it. Not have it drown her every single day. Lucy chalks it up to Tim not being emotionally available. I mean that is definitely part of the problem…

He is a disaster zone of a person right now. He’s occupied mentally in a way she has no idea about right now. At this point in time Tim doesn’t even know this about himself. Only that he wasn’t deserving of her love, that he is too toxic, and she’s better off without him. Has no idea how deep the rabbit hole goes for him. Neither does Lucy. It shows how painfully in the dark she is about what went down.

The sports comment is pretty comical though. I mean I totally get being emotional about sports. The Rangers ruined my mood for awhile when they were booted from the playoffs in June. We made it deep into the playoffs too. So I get the hurt. Regardless it’s a funny reply from Grey. Makes Lucy smile too which is a win right now. The look out the window had me cackling haha I love it so much. We need more of them.

Dr. London continues her barrage on Tim and I’m here for it. It’s the only way he responds to emotional stuff. Also I think Blair realizes if she doesn’t come at him hard, she won’t gain any ground with him. Doesn’t hold back when she compares Tim and Lucy to her line about how platonic love. How their's started out as a friendship and blossomed into so much more. *heart clutch* Eric kills me in these shop scenes.

We can feel and see the emotions he’s choking back. The sadness in his reply of ‘I was her T.O.’ He can feel the rush of emotions flooding in so he sends Aaron away. Tries to ward her off by saying he knows what she’s doing. Blair is getting under his skin quickly and he can feel the heat of it. She is poking at a raw nerve and it’s very evident. The looks on his face through out this scene make me wanna cry. Dr. London reminds him breakups evoke anxiety and depression in men.

Tim being Tim tries bravado this time. Saying he’s not depressed. (Ok babe…) That he’s the one who broke up with her. Trying to deflect but it isn’t working on her. Blair doesn’t relent and replies yes he did. BUT she can tell he has immense guilt around doing it. Which we know is true. He feels horrendous for breaking his person's heart. It’s eating at him like a cancer. Exuding out him so much he can’t use his usual tactics to hide it from her. She see's right through him. Like he's glass and she's peering in for a look.

Dr. London continues her pegging of him with this next part. My god does she have him dead to rights. Not only that but she’s getting through. She can’t see his face but if she could she would see it. Eric is masterful once again with his expressive emotions. We watch the range of emotions in this portion. Especially with his eyes. Always the eyes. She really hits home with her analysis of him. You can see it seeping in. I’m so bummed there isn’t a set of this scene. It’s so so good.

Bringing up how internalizing guilt and shame leads to self directed anger. If that isn’t our boy in a sentence. Sweet baby James. The part about self directed anger is this man to a tee. An absolute tee. The way he’s soaking in all her info has me deep in my feels. That guilt she mentioned is pouring out of him in this moment. Along with the shame and anger that is starting to build as well. The anger is because she draws a HARD line in the sand about this eval.

That if she can’t tell if he isn’t self destructive by EOD she’s gonna sideline him. How he can keep stonewalling her if he likes but it’s only gonna end in a psych eval. It is a rough way to come at him. But he needs it so badly. Lucy isn’t here to knock it into him. So I’ll be forever grateful Blair was. He of course reverts back to S1 Tim when Aaron re-enters. Snaps at him because he can’t handle the emotions coursing through him. So he takes it out on poor Aaron. What she said has hit very close to home. Sadly Aaron get the repercussions of that.

We go back to Grey and Lucy talking about Tamara. Their case involves a girl being scooped up from babysitting. Has her worried and Grey can tell. I adore him telling her what she’s done with Tamara is wonderful. That Lucy showed her unconditional love. The kind that healed her skeptical heart. Made her wanna launch back into the world due to it. It’s here Lucy circles it back to Tim. With her line about letting people you care about go. How could she not? It’s consumed all her thoughts for days and days. Grey picks up on it immediately. Asking if they’re still talking about Tamara?

This launches a Lucy rant of epic proportions. One I don’t think Grey is even close to be accustomed to lol She is finally ready to unload the emotional burden on her soul. Her reaction here is just further proof she had no idea why Tim did what he did. Also probably has zero idea he got half his unit killed. Bringing on his episode of self loathing. Which prompted the breakup. Saying she has no idea what happened to them. That she can’t stop thinking about it. Girl me too. It consumed a lot of my waking hours in that three week hiatus as well. Only difference is I got to know WHY Tim did it.

It didn’t make it less painful but it helped to know the why. This is where Lucy and I are a lot like. Needing to know the why helps me accept things. Otherwise I go insane. Like I stated earlier her defense mechanism is analysis. She was so damn blindsided by this. Her brain hasn’t caught up to any possibilities of why. Lucy was left in the dark from 6x05-6x06. Only let in with what I can assume was minimal surface level info about Ray. Otherwise her analysis brain could figure out why he did this if she knew EVERYTHING. If she did know she could cobble together exactly the why behind his reasoning.

Lucy going off saying she thought their relationship was worth more. The 'Unless it is.' haunting her. Haunting us all. I couldn't look at happy gifs for a long time.....She thought what they had was worth more than a cheap cop out. It was very cliched how he put it. Which was intentional I'm sure on the writers part. Made it seem like it was a cheap way out of their relationship. Clearly we know it’s SO much more complex than that. But she doesn’t know any of that. Which continues to leave her in the dark and it's painful to watch her struggle with that. I just want to tell her. *screams into a pillow* Instead of having a say in it Tim made the decision for her and it pisses her off.

As it should. It pisses me off. He took her voice and right to an opinion with their breakup. That is something he’s going to have to make up for. Lucy deserved so much better than how that breakup went down. She does deserve to be the one who decides if she wants better. Which she didn’t get to. Nor did she want better. That man was IT for her. And she is thought she was the same for Tim. It’s why her line about struggling with him letting go so easily hurts. Honestly It’s what adds another layer of tragedy to this whole breakup. The miscommunication even in the breakup itself is unreal. Lucy finishes off her rant perfectly though.

Saying even if she wanted total self destruction it was her damn life. Her friggin decision to make that call. Tim straight robbed her of that. Not only did he but left her holding the emotional bag afterward. It’s not right and it’s not fair. Our girl deserved so much better than how he handled that breakup. He has a lot to make up for in s7. But he knows that just not right now…Grey’s face to finish off the scene is everything. Knowing she needed to get that off her soul. That this is why he didn’t want her riding around solo today. This was a much needed spiral in a safe place. So well done Wade. Our girl needed this.

Blair doesn’t even have to wait for an opening in this next scene. Tim jumps in to defend himself about eviscerating Aaron. Saying it’s his style. She continues to read Tim like a frigging book. This is my favorite scene of the episode for him. Just because it’s so telling. Eric is incredibly expressive as she breaks him down. He feels trapped but also can’t deny what she’s telling him. Her assessment is out of the world good.

Another beautiful thing about this scene is she is attacking his problem at it's damaged root. Blair tells him he’s under a lot of stress it's clear. Not just the case though. Saying whatever went down between him and Ray must’ve been real bad for him to lose Metro. To be back on patrol. Tim doing his old move of deflection. Saying how he owns mistakes and moves on. Well he has half of that right… Our boy definitely owns his mistakes. Moving on is a whole other issue.

Dr. London is moving in for the kill at this point. Saying but he hasn’t moved on. How can he when his whole identity is wrapped up in acting honorably? Damn she has him pegged. If he could truly move on. Be solid in that statement we wouldn’t be here. If he could really reconcile with the past he wouldn’t have ended it with Lucy. He feels not worthy and very much not honorable enough to be with her. So he cut ties. *sad sigh* Tim cloaks himself in honor then condemns himself when he falls short of it. Which is why he can't move on. Just adds another pebble to his soul as it were.

Blair continues with her spot on assessment. Her guess being that has taken a devastating effect on his self esteem. We know it has. His entire life he hasn’t felt worthy or deserving. Has has always had the lowest self esteem about himself. Because mistakes were failure growing up. Mistakes of any kind. Which isn't ok. A healthy and good parents loves you through them. Teaches you there are lessons in mistakes. That it’s not the falling down it’s the not getting back up that’s failure. This man has been knocked down more times than I can count.

He got up every single time. Which is incredible and grew him to be resilient af. Sadly to Tim it’s the falling down that is failure. He never saw his getting back up as a positive thing. Just saw it as surviving and it was partly. He didn't see the goodness in getting back up because his father never did. He grew up in a household where mistakes were pain. Whether it was physical or emotional it was abuse for said mistake. Didn't matter what it was. So to Tim if he set high standards for himself. If he acted honorably his chances of mistakes or failure would decrease. (In his mind at least)

The problem with that is he’s human. We’re all human and fall short of expectations. No one set his except him. Hell I just dealt with this writing this review. I set this insane expectation of when I should've been done writing it and I didn't hit it. I was mad at myself for a expectation only I had set. It's the same for Tim. Whenever he fell short of being ‘honorable’ in his mind. It dinged his already fractured self-esteem. To the point where he has none. Lucy rebuilt it over the years. But it goes to show you how little he thinks of himself. That Ray coming back toppled all of that. Imploded it really in a matter of days.

She really brings it home here. Her pièce de résistance as it were. This is where Tim goes from huh? To Oh…Blair notes it’s why he’s been punishing himself. This catches Tim off guard because he’s truly confused. Like I said earlier I don’t know even know Tim knew the deep why of their breakup. He for sure had no idea he was doing this specifically. No doubt in my mind he had zero idea he was punishing himself. I didn't know I was in the story I'm going to use here in a bit.

Now he knew he wasn’t worthy. Knew he didn’t feel deserving of her love and comfort. Because he had acted so dishonorably. To Tim there’s no way she could love him after that. He projected 'Rules matter Boot. 'their entire relationship. Long before they got together. To Tim he created this infallible image of himself to her that he fell short of.

One he tried to instill in her as a cop. Yet he failed to do so. He couldn’t look at himself let alone make her do as such. That's what he understood about what he’d done. Which is insane cause she met him at his worst and still saw his good heart. But that's a rant for another time and place ha Suffice to say it was standard he was holding himself to that she wasn't. I get this so much it pains me.

Blair soldiers on in her explanation. Letting him know he’s depriving himself of something he loves. Something that brings him joy. I know this tactic all too well. I mentioned this in my mini. But feels appropriate to do so again in terms of relation. I do this myself. Tim and I are very alike it scares me honestly. When I fail at something I punish myself too. I feel I’m getting better at this. But this story is pre-therapy Caitlin lol.

Anyways I did this with my last job. I wasn’t good at it right away. I was close to being fired actually. My leader at the time was confident in my game plan to fix myself. I however was intent on punishing myself for being awful. I was mad I had failed in the first place. Pissed at myself for not being good right away. This clearly being the result of my childhood. Where I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes. If I did it resulted in emotional abuse in the form of the silent treatment. So going into adulthood I still held myself to higher standards than anyone ever set for me.

When I fell short of those standards I punished myself. So with this new job I denied myself music. It was something I loved dearly. So in turn until I got my act together I didn’t listen to it. Didn’t felt I deserved till until I rectified my mistake. My boss found out and told me not to be so hard on myself. That there was no need to punish myself. I hadn't even realized that's what I was doing till she said that. I still was hard on myself but allowed her faith in me to let myself listen to music again. It ended up being what saved me.

This is why I relate so hard to him doing this. Because I did it. My whole life. Tim doesn’t even realize till now he’s punishing himself this way. He’s denied himself his person. What brings him the most constant joy in his life? Lucy. Who is the radiant sunshine that made his life better? Lucy. So. In turn he is denying himself the one person he feels he doesn’t deserve. Punishing himself by denying himself her presence, he is simultaneously depriving himself of the happiness their relationship brings him. We know how happy she's made him. The highest form of penance is sacrificing that. Oh my broken boy.

I love her saying 'Or more accurately someone.' She saw what went down at the kit room. How Tim longingly looked at Lucy when she departed. Knows this man is still so in love with her. It’s obvious he hasn’t made this connection himself till she says this. We see it dawning on Tim. Her getting through to him. We watch as this hits Tim square in his chest. Or really his heart. She has struck a deep chord and it shows all over his reaction. Especially in the second gif. Tim is holding back actual tears as it hits him.

Ugh my heart. Damn you Eric. As quickly as he comes to this realization Aaron re enters the car. Tim has to readjust and adapt back to hard ass. Was bummed couldn't fit this in but he struggles with it. Aaron is smart enough not to ask if he’s ok twice… I do remember being excited by this scene. Because I felt it would propel him toward therapy. To knowing he needs help. All the signs can be there but you have to see the need for it. I'll be forever grateful to Dr. London for helping him see it.

Lucy spotting Tim and touching her tattoo. Melissa you’re killing me. But also don’t stop. I love that you do that. It makes me wanna cry though. Because we all know why she reaches for it. It’s to remind herself she’s a survivor. The only problem is that idea came from Tim….That entire grounding exercise is wrapped up in him. So it’s painful she has to now use it about him. It’s beautifully tragic and subtle.

Which is why it hurts so good. Mostly hurts atm. Until they’re reconciled anyways. It PAINS me to see how awkward they are with one another. To go from being so damn linked to this disjointed mess….I hate it so much. Eric and Melissa do it so well though. The body language and the nervousness pouring out of them. Lucy wanting to start something but not knowing where to begin. At a loss for words.

Tim doesn’t help her at all. Just stands there like an awko taco. That lyric ‘I’ve never been a fighter.’ Ringing through the silence. Ugh the music attacking us once again in the best way. This song is so good for this moment. I truly think having listened to it enough times now. Feel it’s Lucy POV with these lyrics. Which I’ll delve into more in the side notes. This entire scene just hurts. Like poking a unhealed wound.

I have to note this gif separately. Said this a lot this ep but damn you Eric. His precious little smile here is killing me softly. He’s spent the entire ep on pins and needles. Avoiding his feelings. Lashing out at everyone around him. Then being hit with some serious realizations. Then he sees sees Lucy and it appears. That Lucy smile of his. But he forgets he can’t be flashing that adorable smile to her anymore. He lost the right to find comfort in her presence when he walked away from them. From her.

The smile also kills me because he’s so in love with her. Look at that man above. It’s written all over that smile. It hurts to watch. I saw a great tag for this gif. ‘idk what hurts more his little smile or his shining eyes.’ Honestly? Both. They both hurt….Once again he has no right to be showing her those in love eyes paired with tears. Only hurts her more. Hell it’s killing me. It pains me he’s punishing them both for this spiral. This scene hurts so much but starting out with this smile. *sigh* I'm dying Timothy. You've killed me.

Truly blinded by his own shortcomings at the start of this scene. Thought he could just jump back in there and be normal. That there’s no way she loved him like he loved her. So she would be more normal and ok after their break up than him. My broken Timothy you hurt my heart on so many levels. Not only that but makes a joke about clocking out. He's nervous in his delivery of it too. Which he should be. He exploded them and is making small talk? Oh Tim. No....

Lucy calls him out instantly for it. I adore her for the stand she takes here. Not only not letting hide in small talk but getting her side in finally. Refusing to let him force normalcy on them when they never had a real talk. An actual adult convo. Insulted he wants to hide in chit chat. No matter the place they’re in Lucy is always going to tell him like it is. We all know he loves her for it even when it hurts like hell like this scene does.

Lucy reams him like she should. Letting out all the emotions she never got to express. Also what she’s been stewing on. Telling him what she has been holding onto the past week. Saying how he’s been so concerned with what she deserves. That he BLEW past them even having an adult conversation. Which he most definitely did. Also it saddens me the physical distance in this scene. They’re never ever that far apart. Very telling of where they are right know. I hate it.

You can see the discord between just by their physical distance. What kills me is she gives him a chance to rectify it. To have that convo. Tim deflects because the man is no where near ready for that kind of conversation. It reflects in his reply. He only continues to see he isn’t worthy of her. You are everything she wants you foolish man. He doesn't have a damn clue with that though. So he continues to push her back. Away from him and his turmoil.

It’s here I’m so proud of Lucy. She stands her ground and sets a boundary. Which is not easy BTW. It's insanely hard. Telling Tim he has a lot more to work on that she realized.... That she wishes him good luck with that. But she clearly isn’t the person to help him anymore. *heart clutch* My heart is on the ground again. I get it though. She is stepping away from him and how nuclear he is. It’s such a good boundary to set for herself. For her sanity really.

Another great quote from that book mentioned last ep. “A boundary is our only fighting chance at reclaiming our peace.” It’s the only way she can regain any semblance of peace. To move on from this and heal. Have couple more that are so appropriate here. “People who are irresponsible with our hearts shouldn’t be granted great access to them.” Tim hurt her heart so greatly. Betrayed her trust so deeply. This boundary is to protect herself. But also to keep Tim from having the access he once had. It's easy to see he isn't budging so even if it pains her she has to create distance for herself.

Final one “Love can be unconditional but access doesn’t have to be.” Lucy still loves that man unconditionally but can’t allow him to access her heart anymore. She gave him one last shot and he blew it. So she retreated like she should when he denied her. Does kill me she is clutching her tattoo end of this scene as well. It's what keeps that boundary in place and her feet moving forward. Breaking my heart all over again in an instant. I'll just be sobbing in the corner no big deal...

I was pleasantly surprised when we got another moment in Grey’s office. Thinking that was the end of it. I was hoping against hope Tim wanted to reach out and get help. This scene delivers in spades on that. Tim fully expecting to be mandated therapy. We can see he’s actually disappointed when she has a good review of him. Reporting it won’t affect his work. I’m glad she did because it’s prompts Tim to advocate for himself in this moment.

To say I’m proud of him is an understatement. To not only see he has work to do but reach out for the help to accomplish that. The relief this made me feel is immense. Tim says he was expecting her to say he had a lot of work to do on himself. Grey opens the dialogue asking if he does? Tim says he thinks so…Such a huge step for him. I could cry. Hell I was misty when this scene happened. Tim then asks what Grey thinks of him seeing her regularly?

Wade's reply makes me heart so happy. That it takes a lot of courage to ask for help. It really does. There is nothing scarier than asking for help. Especially with your mental health. Men have it easy in a lot of ways IMO. This is not one of them. They are told not to have feelings, or anxiety, god help them if they mental health issues. Tim coming to this place is incredible. This is a milestone scene for his character. I loved the writers tackling mental health this year. For doing it with Tim too. I could cry at how proud I am for him reaching out. For realizing something is amiss and knowing he needs to fix it.

As if this episode wasn’t making me cry enough. This final scene with Tamara gets me teary. Other than Tim and Lucy they’ve been my fav. Been beautiful to watch them both grow. It helped Tamara heal her untrusting heart. That unconditional love Lucy gave her never wavered. It helped rebuild her faith in people. In herself. I know it helped Lucy heal from Jackson. To show her to open her heart again after losing him.

They healed one another and it makes me emotional writing about it. They’re sisters and family all wrapped up in one. Hard to watch Lucy lose another piece of her life though. Truly hope this pain and loss helps her grow. If there is anything I've learned in therapy is that. Growing through the pain. I hope s7 treats her kindly after this harsh season. It’ll be make all the hurt she goes through so much better. I’ll be fascinated to see how s7 starts for her. How it progresses.

Where she’s at emotionally and mentally. My heart hurts for her in this season. So very much. I can’t even explain the level of ache I feel for Lucy. Our girl deserves the world and more. I hope she explores herself more next season. Tunes into how she doesn’t tend to take care of herself. Think she is on a growth journey of her own. It starts here though. I’ll be excited to see how s7 plays out for her. The end. of this scene is funny. Lucy begging her not to tell the car story at dinner LOL

This is gigantic growth right here. Coming here like this. Telling Dr. London that he was thinking on all she said. He is going against his better nature and reaching out. Admitting something is wrong and doing something about it. I know how hard it is to reach a place where you do this. What’s so beautiful about this development is Tim seeing he needs help. It's why he's here. He can feel something inside him is broken. He doesn’t know how to fix it so he is reaching out to someone who does. Tim can tell something is wrong and just wants to fix it.

To understand why and to get better. It is not a light decision to start therapy. It really isn’t. I ran away from my feelings for years. Damn near a decade really. Made light of the abuse I had growing up. Would crack jokes about it even. Because that was my defense mechanism. It was easier than dealing with what really happened to me. Ignoring how emotionally unstable and imbalanced I was due to it. I spent most of my 20s running away from help. From therapy. When it was brought up to me I would shoot it down like Tim. Call it nonsense and how I didn’t need it. I was also like Tim (Still am. WIP over here) and wrapped my identity up in the same stuff.

Being so fucking harsh on myself it was unreal. I still struggle with giving myself grace. I feel I’ve gotten better but it’s still a daily battle. It’s hard to explain the feeling you get when you know you can’t out run your demons anymore. There is just something that goes off inside you like an alarm. It tells you it doesn’t feel right, that you don’t know how to fix it, but it is time you ought to. All I know is it is different for everyone. What set me off is very different from Tim’s. His was a past mistake that came with a side of buried trauma.

Mine was a kind comment meant to make me feel good. Also some buried trauma. I was helping this sweet old lady who was a client of mine. She noted the earrings I was wearing and said they were nice. Told her my mom gave them to me with no emotion in my tone. I’ll never forget the sweet look in her eyes as she told me ‘Your mother must love you very much.’ What should’ve been a nice comment was a huge trigger for me. My mother is some of my deepest seated trauma. It set me off like nothing ever has before.

Her saying that unlocked this pandoras box of emotions. One I spent nearly a decade suppressing. I got into my car afterward and cried. I texted my sister telling her I think it was time I got help. I felt something was wrong. Wrong enough to do something about it. My repressed emotions had clawed to the surface for air. I couldn’t ignore them anymore. I had to get help. Something was broken and I needed the help to fix it. So that brings us back to Tim in this moment. To why he is standing here right now before Dr. London.

He tells her she is right. That he is mad at himself. We can see the realization just wash over Tim. Like he’s opening his eyes for the first time in forever. We can also see the disappointment on his face when she says tomorrow. He is wanting to talk about this right then and there. I’m same way (shock surprise I know.) Blair sees this and asks if it’s an emergency? Tim doing what he does best says no. Trying to do the “honorable” and not burden her with his needs. Because it’s easy to see yourself as a burden to everyone when you’ve been treated like one most of your life.

It’s what makes Tim digging deep and saying no I need this now below so massive. Watching him advocate for himself *sigh* I wanna cry. Because this scene is HUGE for him. I remember thinking to those who were hating on him at the time. If you can’t grasp how groundbreaking this is. You don’t get his character at all. Nor have you ever struggled with mental health issues or asking for help. Anyone who was nasty about his mental health made me so mad. To be that cold and insensitive meant to me you were emotionally immature yourself. I'll die on that hill happily.

If you need help understanding Tim in this moment or this episode please use my experience. What happened with me and what it took to bring me to therapy. Because they are similar. That is this man in this moment. Realizing Ray resurfaced all his demons. They came up for air and weren’t going away this time. Just like mine. This is Tim’s ‘Come to Jesus’ moment in regard to his mental health. He’s standing here because everything Dr. London told him rang true. Hit a chord inside him it was time to get right.

The thing is he doesn’t know how to handle it. Which is why he is reaching out like this. I do wanna say Lucy got him to a better place for him to do this. S1 Tim wouldn’t have reacted this way to Dr. London. Not at all. I don’t wanna forget the impact she’s had on him. But this is not Lucy’s problem to fix. She even stated that in their scene together. She is not the one which sucks. But this is not her journey to be on. A healing journey is a very personal and vulnerable thing. It’s one you have to do by yourself. (And with your therapist)

My friends and family helped prep me for mine. I’m so grateful for that. To get me to place where I could see I needed the help. But it was up to ME to take that first step. That's what this scene represents for Tim. Taking that ever so painful and scary first step into healing. Tim can see the work he has to do and that is progress. I truly truly hope he continues therapy in s7.

Despite Blair. I’m so excited they went this path with him. Didn’t just try and fix them and gloss over the fact he needs help. Appreciate the proper care they took with this SL. It also may not have felt like it at the time. But it’s paving a path of healing for them in the future. Tim’s head right will be best for them when they heal and reunite. Phew This was a doozy to tackle. I hope you all enjoyed it. And those who didn’t read my mini can see Tim’s POV and the WHY of everything. As I’ve said many times it is not to excuse but to explain.

Side Notes-Very Much Chenford

This will be Chenford related . I wanted a section to go over this glorious song 'The Ventura Exit.' Just wasn't room in the review to do it. So I'm doing it my side notes. More I listened to it the more it was perfect for this episode. Especially with what Lucy's is going through. It feels very much from her POV. The lyrics hit so much and have to be acknowledged IMO. First couple are just angsty musings from the song. They clearly aren't canon but evoked these thoughts in me. Others felt more canon driven.

"The first night I woke up four times on your side of the bed." This lyric could be said of the both of them. But this makes me think of her reaching out to his side in middle of the night. You know she probably still had on and off nightmares about DOD. Reaching out to him being a default for her. I could see that first night of their breakup this happening. This song put stuff in my head I had to get out lol

"Fighting muscle memory expecting a hand to be there when I reach out. Taking the Ventura exit to your house." This song is playing through out the rest of the episode. You can hear the lyrics if you really listen. I'm sure she fought the auto pilot to his house during that week as well. I know we only see them at her place but you know she was over there a lot too. Probably had her own drawer and all that. "I don’t hate you, but the more I think on it you let me down (You couldn’t see me. You stopped believing)" This encapsulates everything in this episode for Lucy. She doesn't hate him but he let her down SOOO much. He couldn't see her in their fight. He stop believing in them. Believing in her. So heartbreaking how perfect this song is. I wanna cry. "I miss you, I miss you, I’ll never forgive you. I wish I was with you I miss you I miss you I’ll always forgive you." I loved it ending on this lyric. Starts out with anger and never forgiving then it does. Because that is true of Lucy. She misses him so much but is so damn angry with him. But wishes she was with him. Which is why the ending lyric being that gets. me in the feels. We know she'll always forgive him. She loves this man too much not too.

I believe that's what we'll see in s7. Especially with him working on himself. That and giving her whatever doses she allows for him to show how much she means to him. This lyric made me hopeful for the first time since 6x05. If you don't have this song I highly recommend buying it. Not only is is perfect for this episode and them. It's just a REALLY good song. You can listen to it in full in the link I posted though. Thank you for all the likes, comments ( I LOVE comments don't be shy ha ) and reblogs. You are the reason I do these. I shall see you in 6x08 :)

[inuykago]

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[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday amazing fandom :) I realized last review forgot to mention with it being the 100th ep that I hit quite a milestone myself. It was my 100th review. Unreal and proud of myself for doing 100 of these. Now it's my 101st with this one. They’re hard work but enjoy doing them so much.

Love the responses these have gotten. So Thank you to everyone who's commented, liked or reblogged any of these 100 you are amazing. I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. This episode is adorable for so many reasons lots of good Chenford nuggets in here and lots of John/Bailey moments I can fast forward LOL Let us get started.

6x03 Trouble in Paradise

We start with some GLORIOUS domestic Chenford. I mean legit glorious. Tim with his early morning scratchy voice. Leaning against that door frame like the delicious sight he is. Also let’s not by-pass the scruff. It's littered all over that sexy jawline of his. Mmm. Take me now sir. Anyways....To top it off he’s in his jam jams I love this. He asks her if she slept at all? Lucy telling him she’ll sleep when she’s taken the exam and gotten detective.

Tim scoffing knowing she’s not sleeping then either LOL I mean he’s not wrong…He’s so damn supportive as he listens in as she explains what she’s prepared on. The way he just nods along and listens to her vent. Every woman’s dream Tim Bradford every woman's. Checking in to test the temperature of her neuroses today heh I love him for it. He just wants to love her through this so much. It makes my heart so happy.

Lucy explains how it’s the oral portion that’s keeping her up at night. It would be keeping me up too honestly. Especially with how subjective it is. Also like to note how unfair it is how friggin pretty Lucy looks in the morning. Wish I could look that good ha. Tim asking if she still thinks Primm is out to get her? Then explains her cookie debacle. How she brought him some homemade ones and he just tossed them. I mean that's pretty damn rude....What a schmuck.

I relate to Lucy’s anxiety so much. Because I am her when I am very stressed and anxious. I get hyper focused and can’t relax. Won’t let myself do anything till that’s done. Tim once again does his damndest to calm her, support her and reassure her it’ll be ok. The man deserves a gold star for how amazing he is eps 1-4 truly. He is 10/10 incredible for her. Her legit support system through out this whole thing.

The way he tries to take her highlighter cracks me up. Gently placing his hands over hers and pulls. She holds onto it for dear life though so he gives up. lol Tim tries a different tactic. He tells her she can over-prepare. Which is true. I’ve lived this life. BUT when you are this stressed/anxious that ain’t coming through. Her reply cracks me up. ‘No, that is an idea that lazy people created.’ LMAO This made me laugh so hard cause I would say something to this effect.

Tim does a Hail Mary of logic in this last portion. Telling her she’s gonna get in her head, how she just needs to trust herself and then let it go. His smile is so pure and sweet. Truly thinking he’s gotten through to his girl finally. The way she nods. Then Lucy instantly walks it back ‘ Yeah, I don’t think I can do that.’ I’m rolling. Oh Lucy I do get you girl. Least she’s honest with her man ahha

Tim knows when to tap out and does as such. With a frustrated groan he gets up. Knowing he’s not gonna break her study spell. Noting he’s gonna go take a shower then. Little does he know the prospect of him wet and naked is enough to break it. Lucy is surprised at his sudden departure. Asking if he means right now? He’s so over the convo just gives her a ‘Yeah.’ Wiping his hands of this situation for the moment.

Lucy lust's after him as he walks away from her. The thought of Tim being her break is far more enticing than a normal break. Mmm don’t blame you girl. I would be using that man for all kinds of stress relief if I was you... Lucy finally gets up and follows her man to the shower. For a much needed break. I love the continuity of their shower sex LOL It’s bloody fantastic and we’re all here for it. I saw a great post that said ‘If only 5x01 Tim could see himself now.’ He would lose his friggin mind.

Getting all the shower sex and shower time he wants with Lucy now. She seeks him out for it and vice versa. Gah so good. The writers sure know how to take care of us. Especially with moments like this. D wrote a fantastic fic about this moment. Highly encourage you to read it. Also saw a great tag for this as well. It was their head canon he did that on purpose to get her to unwind with him. Sold! LOL I love this fandom and how it thinks.

We get to see Tim back in T.O mode and it revs my engine everyone. hahaha It just does especially after not seeing it for awhile. Tim standing there looking criminally delicious in one of my fav poses. Arms crossed, biceps bulging, and forearms front and center. Hot damn he’s such a sight.

Celina is being reprimanded for her behavior at the wedding. Because honestly it was concerning to say the least. With Nolan out and Harper needing to get back to the detective squad Tim is taking over. Lucy catches his eye and he knows she’s up to something. I love his expression. He knows he needs to see what is going on. He barks orders at Celina to get war bags ready before he goes to check on his girl.

Lucy going to Smitty has to be one of the most hysterical things. Tim literally just told her to cool it for her sanity. What does she do? Go to friggin Smitty. I’m dying. Thinking it won’t get back to Tim. Your husband done found out already dear. ha I do love the tip Smitty gives her on how Primm loves dogs. Such a Melissa detail there. Appealing to the animal lover in her. Tim interrupts their impromptu study session. This scene is comedy gold. Always is with Smitty. Dude isn’t in the show a ton but when he is. Man delivers haha

Tim can’t believe she’s gone to Smitty to study of all people. It is hilarious how offended he is when Lucy says ‘Is he even really helping her?’ Like damn that's ice cold Lucy. Man was just giving you valuable intel lol Tim corralling his girlfriend into his shift for the day is everything. Once again kudos to our man for doing his best for her. Trying to get an obsessive perfectionist to chill is quite the battle to take on. Not only chill but focus on something eIse entirely isn't easy.

I would know I am her and I feel bad for my friends when I get like this. heh. Tim riding the line between BF and Sergeant in front of Smitty is fantastic. She’s like a toddler right now and he’s continuously trying to keep her from the outlets. The parameters he puts down for both Celina and her crack me up. Still got that T.O bark in him for her. The way his eyes follow her out. *dreamy sigh* That BF side coming back out there. Smitty's comment snaps him out of it though. Too funny.

S7. Imma need more of this trio right here. On and off work. It’s such a good one right off the bat. Celina rambling nervously while Lucy enjoys herself in the back. You know she loves watching him in T.O. mode. Just like the rest of us. We also get the delicious eargasm of him saying ‘Juarez’ with that that sexy inflection of his. If it seems like I’m extra feral this ep for him it's because I am LOL No point in fighting it. I am who I am.

Lucy brings up Aaron and Tim is instantly annoyed. That convo doesn't last more than 20 seconds. Tim pulls the car over immediately jolting them both. Telling them both to get out of the car. Ahh S1 Tim trying to make an appearance. Lucy isn’t phased in the least. Because no matter what she knows soft Tim. Also just had her way with him this morning. She ain’t scared ha Their amazing dynamic never ceases to amaze me. Lucy concedes and says they can just talk at lunch...

I do love them Co-T.O’ing Celina in this one. Perfect mixture of hug and smack really. They respond to a guy who claims to have ‘amnesia’ Tim isn’t buying it in the least cause well it's Tim. They make it to the hospital to interview this man. Tim could not be more over this man and his BS if he tried.

His face while this guy prattles on is priceless. Eric out here killing it once again with his facial expressions. Let’s not forget the ZERO amount of personal space per usual with them. Always delights me paired with the height difference? I’m a happy girl. They are once again the epitome of Grumpy x Sunshine here.

No one does it better than our ship. They reconvene in the hallway to discuss how they wanna proceed. They’re so deep into their chat they don’t realize Celina isn’t there. LMAO Her looking around for them after they’ve left is so funny. Giving me 5x17 flashbacks where they kept losing the kid. Except it's their rookie which isn't much better.

Tim yelling out ‘Boot!’ Mmm yes sir. Celina running over to meet up with Tim and Lucy. He continues his gruff T.O. act with her. Telling her he's about the hang a bell around her neck cause he keeps losing her. Oh Timothy. I adore how Lucy looks at Tim while he’s in this mode. Nothing but love eyes emanating from her. You are at work madam. Reign it in it. Actually don't I love it. I would say this portion is indicative of their future parenting styles. But we all know that man is gonna be a softie to their kid(s)

Because he didn’t get to have that. Lucy is going to have to be the one to lay down the law, funny enough. Especially if they have a girl. Lord help Tim. A mini Lucy running around? Man will be a goner... I do adore Lucy jumping in and saving Celina. Because she would’ve loved that herself as a rookie. Lucy’s T.O teaching style is very in line with me as a leader. As we were see in a future ep with her and Celina. She was denied praise so she wants to give what she was denied herself. Exactly how I am as a leader.

Wanted to give everything to my people that I never got. I adore this trio so much. Very mom/dad and their kid. I love Lucy giving Tim crap for not giving her a little praise. Also Lucy defending why she let Celina just go is the best. It is everything I explained above. Tim was of course is adverse to this idea. Trying to keep that hard T.O exterior going. Lucy not backing down asking 'Have I not softened you at all?' LOL You have my dear, but that is exclusive to you and only you. On and especially off work.

We get early morning domestic Chenford x2 in this ep. I’m eating it up. D and I have had this convo about how creepy John/Bailey are with waking up the other. How they’re just sitting like a weirdo till the other wakes up at the end of the bed. It’s not sweet or romantic in the least. It’s off putting lmao Whereas this moment it’s very sweet and intimate. The way Lucy rolls over and he is the first thing she sees. *happy sigh* What a way to wake up.

Look at how that man is looking at her. Tim is head over heels for her and not hiding it at all. It's exuding out of his delicious form as he gazes down at her. I’m not well guys. I’m not well. This is so precious I cannot. Just standing there. Getting ready for the day while he let's his girl catches some much needed extra z’s. Imma implode with how cute this all is. Getting ship drunk over here and loving it.

We can see how soft this man is for her. Right after she just asked the night before if she had softened him at all? Yes Lucy. Very much so. Tim is legit putty in your hands. Never seen this man as happy as he is with her. Second gif is all the proof I need. Also there is something so sexy about the way he rolls out his cuff. Why is this so attractive? I was already feral enough in this ep ahha Look at that man above. Getting ready in his delicious black shirt like he doesn't know he's an absolute snack.

We also get a nice shot of his chest as he buttons up. Hot damn this man is so beautiful. I’m a legit puddle of attraction *fans self*. After Lucy is done gazing at her beautiful BF she realizes she has slept in. Pops up in an instant panic. Tim replying calmly she needed it. Not phased at all by her reaction. What a good man taking care of her like this.

Seriously he was in the running for BF of the year at this point. Tim tells her to take the morning off. You know it's killing him to watch her drive herself into the ground like this. He had to do something. And if a little more sleep was what he could control then so be it. It’s what he was going to make sure happened.

I love how he asks her 'Don’t you feel better?' It's his soft tone that has me melting. Does me in. Lucy concedes immediately saying that she does. So thankful for this man. Thankful for how he takes care of her without even asking. I love them so much. Also there is nothing like sleeping in after lots of sleep debt piles up. Lucy was due for it and Tim made sure she cashed in.

I adore the way she thanks him for looking out for her like this. It’s very sweet and loving. Heart eyes galore. Now the big ass smile on Tim's face after she says that. *chef kiss* My god that man is so happy to have finally gotten a victory with her. That smile has me reeling basically saying 'You’re welcome, my love.’ He then continues to get ready for the day knowing his girl is happy and rested.

Unfortunately the happy morning bubble doesn’t last for long after this. Lucy gets a text saying her test is ASAP. Which beyond sucks and just another mind game from Primm. Because we all know he makes her wait till dead last. 20 minutes my ass you SOB. I hate it sfm how he makes her wait that long only to destroy her in her oral exam. *grumble*

Honestly makes my stomach turn watching her in that oral exam. I can’t stand to watch it but must for this review. I hate her having to defend her mistake from 6x01. That shouldn’t define what an exemplary career she’s had. To this point she’s been stellar and nothing short of extraordinary. Hurts my heart to watch this scene go down. Also angers me and makes me wanna meet Primm in a dark ally with no witnesses…. Grey looks upset af when he posts the exam rankings. When she reads her results. 17th….

Gah this scene absolutely gutted me the first time. That has not changed during this rewatch. The music paired with Melissa’s outstanding acting got me all in my feels. Holy hell it's like getting the wind knocked out of you watching her devastation. How she tells Grey she’s going to die on that list. Ugh. My heart. Getting punished for taking care of Tim when he needed her. Makes me so mad I wanna throat punch Primm. Grey isn’t much comfort but that is a Tim job. It’s a rough rough scene everyone. Hard to stomach.

When Nolan damn near gets everything handed to him. She has to fight and claw for everything. Then still gets this steaming pile of crap. I hate this for our girl I really do.I truly hope we get to have a hard look at where she goes in S7. This needs to be delved into and wrapped up all in one. Our girl needs a path and a purpose. I truly think T.O. Is the calling she never expected it. Be interesting to see what they do in the next season for her following this. T.O. or not. But if she's a T.O. Tim will be her equal and not her superior for when they get back together. But I'm getting ahead of myself lol

We get domestic Chenford part 3 and it’s the best part of all. So much to love about this scene it’s crazy. The soft Tim we all know and love is ever present in this scene. Also, his partner, supportive Tim, is crushing a performance in this segment as well. It’s beyond adorable from end to end. Just what we needed after that devastating scene before. It does our shipper hearts real good.

Lucy is pouring them some wine for their night in. Cause clearly they’re not going out. She wants to hide away with her man. I do not blame her one bit. Telling Tim she can’t believe she came in 17th… That it’s almost worse than coming in last. I would be feeling the same. Tapping into her childhood a bit and the failures she feels from there.

Not only that, but I’m sure the voice in the back of her head, that sounds like her mom, is voicing the same things. About her choosing this career and life. It’s a good thing Tim is there to quell and silence all those voices. He tells her there is no prize for coming in last. BUT there is one for coming in 17th. Haha Tim then reaches over and pulls out the award he got her.

Look at the smile on that goober. He couldn’t be prouder of himself if he tried. Lucy looks throughly confused until she realizes he’s altered the trophy to ‘17st’ LMFAO. I love this man so much. As does Lucy as she grabs the trophy from him. Realizing what he's done. So many reasons to love this moment.

Lucy stated in 3x03 how much she loves trophies. Tim remembered this and got her one. My damn heart. Not only that the man was so sure she would be #1 he bought it beforehand. Lucy Chen’s number supporter right there. Front and center people. Lucy’s smile is everything. Tim is beaming because she is. Look at him in that second gif. He is smiling ear to ear. All he wanted was to make his girl smile and laugh. Check and check. Well done sir.

Tim truly was so damn thoughtful and precious through out this scene. A+ boyfriend right here folks. A damn plus. Man is soft as butter for her. We all love it. Lucy’s energy has immediately changed thanks to the man next to her. Not only does her tune change she matches his mood. Throwing back a joke of her own. Saying how she gonna have to set her sights on a different future. Then mentions Metro to get a rise out of him.

His reaction is HILARIOUS. He wasn’t ready for the joke she sent his way. Completely unprepared with a good answer. Also the stress it would bring him if she actually did. They know they work well together. That is not the problem. It’s the immense and increased danger she would be in. That’s what would give him a legit heart attack everyday. Lucy Chen has once again broken this man's brain. Gotta be a record at this point heh.

Lucy could not be cuter when she tells him she’s kidding. Her whole body bouncing with laughter. That adorableness that only Melissa can conjure and convey. It’s beyond precious. Tim with his weak. ‘I …I knew that.’ Lucy basically following it up with an ‘Ok babe…’ Whatever you say my love. LOL Not believing him even a little bit. They are so cute and sweet I’m diabetic.

Lucy then looks back down at the trophy he got her. Asking him if he really thought she was going to come in first? That self doubt and lack of confidence creeping back in. She truly needs to know and hear it from him. Needs that reassurance he believes in her. Because just like Tim’s needs her opinion of him to be high. Lucy needs to know Tim believes in her. Tim doesn’t miss a beat with his reply.

The sweet smile going along with it. He’s loves her so much. Is so damn proud of her. It just flows out of him. Wasn’t a doubt in his mind she was capable of being #1. He’s seen her defy the odds so many times. Was front row to every victory and loss that’s shaped her as a cop. He’s watched her become this confident bad ass. Overcoming insane and traumatic things only to come out stronger. Knows she’s a strong test taker. To him was a no brainer she would crush this thing and then some.

Lucy hears all that in his tone and reply. Sadly she doesn't take this as a positive. But a failure on her part. She starts to fall back into her previous mood. Feeling like she let her most important person down. Those insecurities rushing back and she is beating herself up. It’s the way she stares down at first. Then locks eyes with him letting him know she’s sorry. Sorry she’s disappointed him. I saw someone made a 1x12 parallel to this line that kinda hurt my heart a bit. And once again it's something I can relate to cause I’m the same. He is just so damn supportive and cares so so much. That it comes off as high standards.

Ones that people feel like they're going to fail to achieve. When really it's just a great depth of caring and voicing what someone is capable of. Because he was denied that in his childhood he wants to make sure the people he loves know it. So they feel this need to live up to these standards he unintentionally sets. I can so relate because I was this way with my team. I was deeply caring and supportive but also voiced a lot what they were capable of. Because I too had been denied that in my childhood and with other leaders in my life. So when others would watch my team they would tell me that I had such high standards for my team.

They did not tell me this in a good way btw. Even though I produced a successful team that loved me it felt like a slight. Now while I had those standards it was always paired with deep caring and support. Just like Tim. He is just trying to build up those he loves and can come off as high standards people can't reach. Just a fascinatingly tragic thing the woman he falls in love with mistake it as high standards. When he's just trying to show how much he cares and supports them.

I stumbled across and felt it fit this moment. Because right now Lucy feels she has failed his high standards. Failed his idea of her being #1 (which we know she hasn't in his eyes.) That she's disappointed him so much so she can barely keep eye contact with him. The potential for miscommunication for this is immense. Like it was for him and Isabel. Luckily Tim kills this before it's an issue. So proud of him BTW. His growth still floors me.

Where in 1x12 Tim has no answer for Isabel saying his standards made her feel like a failure, here he has one for Lucy. He’s learned from his past and that’s a beautiful thing to behold. He’s learned to love better. To communicate better. Loving Lucy has made him want to be better in both of those aspects. He doesn't want to make the same mistakes with her as he did with Isabel. I said back in s2 his relationship with Rachel I loved. Not because I loved him with her. But because it helped heal him. Showed him he could do a relationship again. She got him back to that place where he could fall in love again.

Even Ashley as much as we didn’t like her got him thinking about marriage, serious relationships etc again. A place I’m sure he never thought he would go again. Also taught him what he didn’t want. Even though she was the one to end it you know he learned from it. He saw all the things he wanted out of life for his next relationship and then he saw those things with Lucy. All that to say is with that growth he's gained he immediately quells the anxiety and disappointment raging inside her. Doesn't let it fester.

Squashes the thought of her thinking he could ever think that with his sweet reply. I love how he shakes his head. Kinda like how he did back in 6x02 when she asked if he loved her. Like he can’t believe she would even think he would say or think that about her. So much is said in one sentence here. The way he leans closer to her as well. Makes sure she can read her his heart eyes as he expresses something so deeply true to him. That she could never disappoint him. *heart clutch*

Then we get the sweetest kiss to wrap this moment up. I love the way she smiles into the kiss and afterwards. Makes me squee to no end. Completed besotted with the man next to her. It’s screaming all over her body language how much she loves Tim. Their kisses always bring me such shippy joy. It's hard to put into words sometimes. But this one definitely gives me all the butterfly feels. The entire scene does really.

The scene ends with the cutest smile from Lucy. We talk a lot about Tim’s “Lucy smile.” The one he only brings out for her. Lucy has the same with her “Tim smile.” Ain’t no one making her smile and legit light up the way Tim does. Look at the way she looks at that man in the final gifs. With sheer reverence and awe that she gets to call him hers. Tim is uber cute reveling in how good a job he did haha

Lucy easily gives into his comments. Letting him pad his ego this time. He’s more than earned it. Agreeing he did and she loves him so much for it. Adores this man by her side. He is keeping her afloat like no one else could. He never once gave up in supporting her through this nightmare. How even at her lowest Tim managed to take care of her and make her laugh and smile. She is forever grateful and it’s written all over those last two gifs. Cuteness they name is Chenford.

The song in this scene is called “healing rock.” Seems fitting. Tim was definitely healing her in this final scene. Also just a soothing song that played in the background. Perfect way to end it. That’s all she wrote for this one. Damn good episode for them. I was on cloud 9 after this one. Hard not to be. Thank you amazing readers for like, comment and reblog these. You are the real MVP's. see you all in 6x04 :)

~~~

Side note -Non Chenford

More I see Lucy in T.O roles more I think I want her to be one. She would be an excellent teacher. Far better than friggin Nolan.

I love Grey Checking in with Tim about Lucy. Tim telling him he will be glad when this is done. Killing him how she is has been a mess during all this. My heart.

John and Bailey had to have had the most unromantic boring ass honeymoon ever. I watched it the first time but I fast forwarded all that this time. *snooze*

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello lovely fandom and happy Wednesday. Wanted to get this review out sooner than the last. Since I was delayed and late last week. With good reason I know but Wed was my original goal. So wanna stick to it for this next one.

Ahhh the 100th ep. Had we had full seasons in 1-3 would’ve been last year. But that is neither here nor there HA. Also it's our ILY ep ❤️ This is a PACKED ep for them. So did my best per usual for gif space. They had wall to wall moments which is amazing but daunting for reviews ha The gif puzzle was a hard one but I got it worked out. Do love a challenge. Anyways let us begin.

6x02 The Hammer

Our couple starts up still icy and tense af. I relate to Tim so much in this first scene. Shocker I know. I’m very much the kind to be like. 'It sucked, I noted it sucked, I was upset and now we’re moving on.' I hate beating a dead horse if I feel the subject has been talked to death. Now that isn't this situation but it is the jist of the scene for Tim at least. Lucy asking if they can talk Tim says yes BUT there’s nothing to talk about. Now, where I am like Tim in wanting the expedience of a situation to be over, I'm not in how he handled the end of the scene above. Just avoiding it completely. I have grown quite a bit due to therapy thankfully.

So this is where he and I differ in this tiff. What he's doing used to be my M.O. Where as now I still want it over quickly but I now I follow it up with how I recognize how I can be better. If I’m in the wrong that is. I ask what I can do moving forward so doesn’t happen again? Asking what I could do next time to make sure they don't feel that way in the future? Or if I’m the wronged party explaining what I need so this doesn’t happen next time. As we know our boy is pre-therapy Tim atm so he does none of those things….Communication as we know not their strong suit.

Lucy wants to talk it out more in detail. Seeing their fight as another bigger fight to come. She isn’t wrong at all. First time I've agreed with her in this prolonged fight. It totally is a pending issue. Lucy tells him just wanting to move on isn’t healthy. Definitely isn't. And he is riled up from the insinuation. Tim just wants to shove it into a box until that issue comes to light again. Which again isn’t the healthiest approach to what she is aiming at. The reality is right or not Lucy hurt him deeply. He clearly isn’t over that and it’s reflected in their convo above. The start to the ep is a fraught one for them.

Lucy meets up with Angela to go over 'The Hammer.' Which she is more than happy to help her out with. What she doesn’t know is she’s about to step in the middle of a lover's quarrel. Which is going to make her even happier tbh. LOL This is one of those 'Angela is the fandom moments.' Where she’s just sitting back and enjoying the show. Her face while she watches the chaos unfold is everything. Look at her above. She is gleeful she lucked into this fight.

Their bickering has reached astronomical married levels. It’s written all over Angela’s face as she watches them argue. With their pot shots, passive aggressive comments, and the fact they’re fighting like she’s not even there anymore. Lastly just the all around husband and wife banter they're displaying for her. The 100th ep delivered in so many ways. This scene is one of them. Our on screen shipper is having the time of her life with this. Not hiding her delight in the least.

She signed on for help then got popcorn and a show to go with it. They don’t even notice her presence till she interjects ‘Let what go?’. They’re so wrapped up in their fight they had forgotten she was there. Angela wouldn’t be Angela without shooting off a snarky reply as they take off. 'Maybe I'll go too. Grab some popcorn on the way for the show.' So bummed couldn't get this one in gif wise. But I’m dying of laughter when Tim says she isn’t funny. Her firing back to 'She’s hysterical. Ask Wesley' LMAO

They arrive at the Hammer's apt and Tim is trying to give Lucy the rundown. Attempting and failing to be clipped and professional with her. But this is Lucy so that was never gonna happen. lol He mentions his real name is Billy Bob Bennett. Lucy touches his arm like she does so naturally and laughs. Asking if that’s really his name? That no wonder he goes by his nickname. Trying to lighten the vibe. Sadly her touch does nothing to soften his annoyance. Tim is still in grumpy mode and didn’t find this funny in the least.

Asking if he can just finish his good news/bad news? Lucy apologizes and say knock yourself out…Not wanting to fight any further on the subject. Tim continues on saying he has a felony warrant. So they could kick down his door if they wanted right now. Which is the good news. Lucy mentions he bought the ring legally though… Which is the bad news. So he has no reason to give them the ring. That he won’t be any more inclined to give it to them when they arrest him.

It’s here we watch Tim hesitate and it’s hilarious. Lucy is watching him with amused eyes wondering why. Has the look of a man who's seen things. haha Tim explains he loves to fight but more importantly he loves to fight cops more than anything. Hence the nickname. It’s the gentle way he pushes her toward his front door after his 'Ladies first.' line LOL I was laughing so hard. She’s smiling even mad she loves this goober of a man. Who says chivalry is dead eh?

When the Hammer opens the door he looks agro af. I love them being in-sync with putting their hands up. Even in a fight they are simpatico in the field. Lucy explains the situation with the ring while hubby nods along. This scene is gold. Hammer mentions the ring was legally bought. This is where she offers him the deal. That if he just gives them the ring they’ll give him a head start. Give him 20 minutes to grab the future misses and go to ground. They won’t start the hunt and call back up till then.

Of course living up to his reputation that’s not enough to get him to bite. He rather fight it out. Want's a fair fight. One on one. They win they get the ring and he gets arrested. Hammer wins he keeps the ring and they arrest him. I remember getting a flash back of the Pilot in this moment. Tim telling her she’s gonna have to fight him lmao Just like last ep the massive different between now and then is he’s in love with Lucy.

She tells him one will care what he looks like tomorrow LOL That she has to be beautiful and in a dress. I mean she isn’t wrong. But also I very much care about what he looks like at that wedding haha Lucy gives him all the heart eyes when he concedes and says ‘Let’s go.’ Even though she can handle herself no way he'd actually make her take this bullet mad or not. Do love her saying 'You got this.' before the fight begins. Ever the supportive wifey.

First off I cannot believe there isn’t a gif set of this fight. (Not that I could fit it in ha but still)There's one of Lucy’s reactions to the fight. But not of the fight itself. Which is a travesty because it’s sexy af on Tim’s part. The song running through the scene is perfection per usual. Second watching this fight makes me cringe at first. Not cause I don’t think it’s amazing. I love it. As stated earlier it's sexy af and impressive. What makes me cringe is having the back issues I have now and Tim having them as well. Hurts to watch for that reason. Hammer wipes floor with him at first. Idk how he isn’t tore up from the floor up after this lol

Lastly I do adore Lucy’s reactions to this. Worried wife mode has been activated. Mad as she is it pains her to not step in. She wants to at first and Tim stops her. Gesturing his hand to not intervene. Couldn’t fit that part in but I adored it. Hammer wanted a fair fight, and being the honorable man he is, Tim will uphold that. He knows Lucy can hold her only with the best of 'em. But Hammer would’ve been pissed had she jumped in to help him. Still I know it was killing her to watch him get tossed around like he did. Tim was NOT winning at first.

Now back to why this fight is sexy. It’s the way Tim holds his own. He gets tossed around like a rag-doll at first. Then learns how the Hammer moves and adapts. If you don’t think him launching himself off that bed and power kicking into his chest isn’t incredibly sexy, we can’t be friends. LOL It's insanely attractive how he took his ass down after that move. Holy hell. Look at those biceps in action. Bulging and sinfully delicious *fans self* I need some ice water. He could put me in a hold like that anytime....Lucy looks so relieved when he gets the ring and Hammer is passed out cold. Her reactions through out were primo though.

Next comes the best part of the scene. Tim staggers over and grabs the ring. Panting and completely out of breath. Damn near ready to pass out. Now this portion of him being on one knee as he hands her the ring. *screams into a pillow* This is foreshadowing at it's finest folks. Alexi wouldn’t have put this in there if he wasn’t gonna cash in on it one day. I truly believe that. The looks they share as well are so damn loaded. Look at the shared looks as he holds up the ring. Oh my lord.

Especially Lucy’s as she accepts the ring and looks down at him. Feeling all the feels we were in the moment. I remember A.H. saying there would be a moment that would launch a thousand gifs. He wasn’t wrong. This was an iconic moment in an episode full of them for our ship. Lucy is riddled with emotion and can barely choke out ‘Good job.’ You know she wants to marry this man. Stubborn streak and all. In that brief moment when he’s staring up at her that hits her. Stuns her a little too honestly. Melissa does a wonderful job conveying all that.

I remember seeing a great set for this. Had him kneeling on one knee from 5x17 when they're in sally port. Then 6x02. The caption read ‘Third time is the charm.’ In my heart of hearts I believe that. Next time he’s on one knee it’s going to be to ask Lucy Chen to marry him. To be his wife. What a beautiful day that’ll be. *dreamy sigh* That being said this moment was meant to be foreshadowing no doubt in my mind. The way the shot was framed and everything screamed that. It is funny to cap it off with Tim passing the hell out after it all haha Along with Lucy’s ‘Oh.’ as he collapses. It's hilarious. Poor Tim.

We move onto the unconventional bachelor/bachelorette parties. Because yes even though our ship is the best part of this ep, there is still a wedding to be had LOL I loved how this was written and shot. How it bounces back and forth between both parties. And how it’s about Chenford for most part not John/Bailey. Cause let’s be real. Ain’t no one watching this ep for their actual wedding. Also loved how this had that amazing rom-com vibe all over it. Made me very happy and I was here for it.

This portion shows us what we already know. They both got issues and aren’t confronting them. Celina’s comments crack me up. She’s new to shipping Chenford but is a shipper none the less. Basically being like you guys are what I’m striving for in my love life. So please work it out haha Tim noting they’re great when she’s not accusing him of made up transgressions. I mean he’s got you there Lucy....

Once again I’m on Tim’s side with this back and forth dialogue. Yes he was deeply traumatized by what happened with Isabel. But she is projecting onto him in this instance. Because she isn’t ready for all that comes with UC/detective. Chastity has a solid reply to Lucy about UC. A mic drop one really. We all know she is actually dreading what might happen now that she has him. Chastity trying to get Lucy to confront she's scared. Breaking News. She doesn't...She throws it back on Tim instead unfortunately.

Said this before just because you are good at something doesn’t mean it’s your destiny. Having to leave him for possible months at a time is shaking her. Also with how dangerous it is. That it increases the fact she could not come home to him. The detective exam makes UC a legit reality. One I don’t think Lucy really thought about because it was a distant future. Now that it’s closer she’s hitting the panic button HARD. Not only that but projecting onto Tim with this fight they’re still in. She’s in massive denial and it’s all over her in this scene.

Lucy breaks off from the party. She is meeting Tim at the station but she’s not sure why. I love how cute Tim is just waiting for her. So pleased with himself for this solution. Looking mighty yummy in his black shirt all wired up. Telling Lucy she can ask him whatever she wants. Just like the last ep he’s desperate to proof he’s on her side. That he’s truly rooting for her. Lucy gets excited asking if she can ask him anything? Tim is confused and says the point was to ask him about detective/UC….

I adore how Lucy instantly throws him off. How she crowds him and flusters him in the process. Saying they should be 'Thorough' as she scoots closer to him. Madam you aren't here to turn him on haha The way she approaches him says otherwise. Look at that man’s reaction. He’s so distracted he almost forgets why he’s wired up. Even after being together awhile she still takes his breath away. Look at the way he inhales sharply when she gets closer. Encroaching on his space.

Makes my shipper heart so damn happy. He’s a little turned on by her descent on him. How she pulls up nice and close. Not only that but scoots in and brackets his leg with her thighs. She knows what she's doing and is very aware that man loves her thighs. Tim is shook in the best way ahha I bet his heart rate spiked on that machine LMAO The way he looks her up and down. Floored by this woman in front of him. Hell of a way to start this scene.

Lucy wants a baseline so she starts with the bug question. Honestly it’s the best way to diffuse the tension before it gets real. Such a cute married moment this portion. Asking if he really releases the bugs she traps for him? Idk what’s cuter. Tim indulging her by taking them out to “Set them free.” Or Lucy asking him to do so while low key knowing he wasn’t LOL Marriage thy name is Chenford. His sigh before he admits he doesn't is so funny. That 'No' is hysterial.

His bemused face while she see's his answer is true is precious. The hilarious way he’s like yeah. I didn’t cause they’re bugs lol This is Grumpy X Sunshine personified for them with this part. I loved getting this look into them outside of work. When they’re just at her place being them. Clearly it's something that's been going on for a long time and I’m dying. Tim pretending to do so cause he loves her.

But he’s still him and isn’t gonna save a bugs life lmao Cause well. Tim. The fact he’s been killing them and lying to spare her feelings. That’s love ya’ll. Deep down she knew haha But needed to get the proof while he was wired up. Amazing. Damnit I love these two sfm. This episode is a treasure trove of goodies. Also just more proof how pure Lucy is. Wouldn’t hurt a fly literally. Pure sunshine this one.

Lucy gets a little more serious. Asks Tim if he loves her? Now it’s subtle and our ship is so good at the subtle goodness. I adore the slight shake of his head first. The way he looks at Lucy before he answers. Like how is this even a question? He feels every part of his being, every action he does, how he's opened up for her screams how much he loves her.

Like of course I love you, Lucy Chen. His heart eyes are off the charts adorable. I love the way he meets her half way. Needing to be closer to her when he says this. Does that deep breath first. Leans in with the biggest in love smile and tells her 'Yes. I love you.' *swoon* I could hear him say that all day.

You know his deep breath before he replies reminds me of 5x08 when he took a leap of faith. Took a deep breath and went for it. The sweet smile when he says he loves her. *squee* Nothing makes more sense to him than being in love with this woman in front of him. It’s written all over his confession and beautiful face. He couldn’t be more in love with her if he tried. Lucy’s knowing smirk is everything below.

I do remember there being a debate if this was first time he said that to her or not. I mean I’m not sure still tbh. Months later and I'm not 100% either way tbh. I mean how she looks at him when she asks him makes it seem like it is. Almost like she's holding her breath waiting for the answer. But then her reaction above is a knowing smile of someone who already knows. Like she's heard it from him before. And is using hearing it to ground herself in this moment.

Needing to hear that reassurance that he loves her. Because the next question is the biggie. But I could totally see this being the first time as well. It's one thing I'm not confident on which is very rare for me with them. Anyways no matter what camp you fall in this scene is fantastic. We got a love struck Tim Bradford telling Lucy he loves her. Nothing better than that you ask me. Not only that but with the biggest in-love grin we could ask for. So either way the scene is a massive win for us. I also can’t hear Tim say he loves her enough. Wanna hear it on a loop.

Makes me squee and simultaneously want to pass out from the glee. Unfortunately the lie detector detects its first lie in him being ok with her going UC. Even Tim is shocked by it. He truly thought he was going to pass that question with flying colors. Lucy isn’t shocked but Tim is. Why? Because the man as I’ve stated before would die rather than not support her. He is floored it's a lie. It does cause some good self reflection from him later at the wedding as we will see.

They sadly arrive to the wedding separately. Tim showing up looking like an absolute snack though. I love this vertical shot. Giving us a glorious look at him dressed to the nines. Tall drink of water I would like a sip of. Hot damn. Chicken or steak? Neither. I’ll take Tim Bradford wearing the hell out of that suit please and thank you. Also we know that man didn’t pick that suit out. Has Lucy written all over it with how they match. I can only imagine them going shopping for it and Tim protesting the entire time haha

Tim is actively seeking his person out as his eyes scan the crowd. Even mad he needs eyes on her. They lock eyes across the courtyard. Lucy looks excited to see him. She takes in how good he looks then remembers she’s mad at him. Doesn’t maintain it long after that sadly. Angsty goodness right there ooof. I’m here for it.

The wedding happens after but I don't really care about that TBH. The looks continue in the afterparty. Tim drinks at the bar and watch's his girl have fun on the dance floor. Lucy’s gaze a little softer this time around as she looks back at him. *sigh* Does crack me up Celina asks Aaron if they'll be ok as she watches them long for each other haha Girl is seriously worried about them. I love it.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Tim being the one to bridge the gap. He's reaching out to her and is ready to talk this out. He doesn't even acknowledge Luna when he walks up. Only has eyes for his girl. Sorry Luna LOL He can’t be away from her any longer. Tim extending his hand asking her to dance wordlessly. That silent communication of their's in full force. My heart.

I adore how Luna is looking at them when Lucy gets up. Lucy looks back and gets her nod of approval. Like go make up with your man honey. Love Lucy’s smile knowing how Tim coming to her is a huge deal. My god how this man has grown. Makes me happy to no end. The music once again *chef kiss* This song is glorious in it's perfection for this scene. I'll never hear this song the same way again that's for sure. It'll bring me right back to this moment.

From here on out it is all hands hands hands. I saw someone make a tag of *pterodactyl screeching* for this scene. Made me cackle. If that isn’t the fandom in this moment. Eric and Melissa are so good at the little things that make us lose our damn minds. The way he softly takes her hand in his. How she can’t keep hers off him from minute they hit the dance floor. I don’t blame her my hands would be all over him too. I love how they get lost in one another instantly. Looks at those smiles above.

These two couldn't be happier to be near each other. Their time apart has really made that craving to be close increase ten-fold. Despite the lie detector scene they’ve been apart physically since 6x01 if not longer than that. Probably pre-6x01 but post 6 weeks in his office. Haven’t really been affectionate since then either. They’re being drawn back in like a moth to the flame when they're reunited. Like they're coming up for air for the first time in forever. Been trapped in this fight for far too long.

They get so lost in being together again they almost forget they’re still in a fight. I love this so much. The one above has me swooning the most. Look at them. The way she runs her hand down his chest. The smile on his face is everything. Just so happy to have her in his arms again. How Lucy is looking at Tim. phew lord. That is a loaded look. Mixture of sheer happiness and wanting to take him to nearest closest tbh. Seems like such an intimate gaze she's throwing his way.

He's reciprocating with his own fiery intensity. *fans self* Forgetting they are indeed in public. I love how they sway in perfect tandem together. Gah if you wanted to know what utter perfection and chemistry looked like. Go no further than this gif. Look at these stunning humans just exuding their attraction for one other. Beautiful thing to behold. Saying so much with just their incredible physical chemistry. Sweet lord we are so lucky to have Eric and Melissa helming this ship.

Tim is the one to break the silence. Finally admitting after episodes of sheer frustration last year, he isn’t ok with her being UC. That he’s more conflicted than he realized. He truly thought he was ok enough about it. Enough that he could pass a lie detector test. He wouldn’t have done it if he thought it would’ve proved him wrong. In his heart of hearts he thought he was ok adjacent lol

His suppressed feelings for months coming out in his answer. Lucy is very kind in her reply to him. Letting him know it’s understandable. That it was so horrible how could be possibly be over that? I love her fingers climbing up and down his lapel the entire time. Gripping it when she needs it. Almost as if touching him constantly is going to ground her in this moment. Which I think it is. Being near him always been a comfort to her.

I couldn’t be prouder of him if I tried in this portion. Tim growth moments are my fav moments. To not only tell her 'Hey you were right.' but to admit to being wrong. Tim Bradford just admitted to being wrong. Man must be in love baha Tim being even more amazing in growth won’t take the out she's given him.

Stating it’s not fair to her. That he needs to deal with it. He takes it even one step further. Telling her that her dream shouldn’t have anything to do with his issues. What a man. How Lucy doesn’t pull him into the nearest closet/room for make up sex right then and there idk haha Has more will power than I would.

Lucy is touched by his honesty and owning his part in this UC fight. It’s written all over her face when she says ‘Thank you.’ The ‘hands hands hands’ continues and I’m all but squealing. Look at her fingers at back of his neck/head and all over his hair. Her other hand coming up to stroke his bicep too. I’m dying here of cloud 9 happiness.

The way she strokes the back of his head while she’s comforting him. I cannot you guys. It’s so soft and cute. I’m dead. Here lies Caitlin- Cause Chenford was off the charts cute and she imploded. Happily take that death all damn day. The way she tells him they’re gonna get through this. My heart. She truly would’ve gone through ANYTHING for him. Thought they truly could recover from any conflict. Weather any storm as long as they're together.

Look at Tim and the way he's smiling down at her in that second gif. He believes it too because she does. Ugh. Makes what happens in 6x06 hurt all that more. But let’s not think about that too much. I wanna live here for awhile and avoid that until I literally can’t and we’ve reached 6x06 lol I can't get over her fingers in his hair you guys. The way she is sweetly caressing his neck and arm. Some fanfic goodness IRL. My damn heart. I'm not crying you are.

If this scene wasn't amazing enough we reach Lucy's ILY and it's GLORIOUS. The way she searches his face and makes sure he can see it. That it’s splayed all over her face how much she loves him. Her heart eyes on full blast for him. She once again is caressing the back of his neck as she says it too. Then we get the sweet kiss to follow it *heart clutch* I’m weeping at how beautiful this scene is. The writers really did us justice with this moment. Eric and Melissa knocked it out of the park and then some. Always elevating the material given to them in so many ways.

Her hand on his face as they continue to sway in tandem. Her thumb running down his jawline tenderly. The way he’s looking down at Lucy gets me in the feels hard. Like he can’t believe this beautiful woman loves him warts and all. He’s in complete awe of her in this moment. So happy this incredible woman has chosen to love him. The vulnerability he is displaying here is a sight to see. Truly proof of how she obliterated his wall and then some.

The sweet smile he gives her at the end. *squee* He’s ecstatic she loves him despite their issues. Despite his issues. Constantly blown away by the woman in his arms. Lucy returning his expression in kind. Looking up at him like he's the best thing that's ever happened to her. Because well he is. Her loving smile while looking up at him. I'm dying. It's why the man is puddle right now.

Wouldn’t be Tim if he didn’t follow up with a goobery joke though. Because she brings that side out in him like no other. Let us also enjoy how Lucy still can’t keep her hands off his lapel btw. Or him in general really. I can’t stop focusing on the hands and how they’re all over each other. His crack about the lie detector is pretty damn cute. A great way to finally end the tension between them.

It’s the way Lucy laughs and slaps that same hand, with her DOD ring on his chest, that gets me. She loves this ridiculous goober of a man so much. Their physical chemistry is unreal. Never seen any other like it. Tim is beaming down at her. So happy to have made her laugh the way he did. Her laughter is music to his ears. Mine too. If you weren’t grinning ear to ear after that joke you’re dead inside LOL This part is so sweet I’m diabetic.

Aaron sadly ruins the moment with his drunk ass. We immediately see soft, funny, and light Tim disappear instantly. Fierce protector Tim emerges as he pulls Lucy close to him. Never letting his hand leave her waist as he scolds Aaron. Pulling her closer and closer as he does. And uses his other arm to keep Aaron away from Lucy. I love it so much. Once again it’s the little things our captains do so damn well. We eat it up like candy haha

Celina takes off after a call solo. Idk why she would after everything happened with Aaron in 5x22. But Nolan is her T.O. So… Thought we made it a review without a Nolan pot shot didn’t you? Well I snuck one in. #noregrets

Anyways we watch our couple emerge from an unseen area. Smiles for days on Lucy's face. Which we all took as they had make up sex and we’re seeing the afterglow of that heh. It’s where all our minds went and I love it. D is writing a fic based on that. Idk when but I cannot wait for that. *cough* please write it next bestie.*cough*. They all go into cop mode like the BAMFS they all are about Celina. Except Aaron he’s sidelined by Tim for being hammered. Poor sweet Aaron is a struggle bus.

They save Celina and our ship looks amazing as they do it of course. Didn't have room for that great shot of them. Gives me all the feels Lucy showing up to the scene with Tim in his truck. That little things theme continues. Also Tim in his tie and badge showing? Yum. Gimme. To quote ZZ Top ‘ Cause every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man.’ Mmm. And that concludes the ep Chenford wise.

Phew that was a doozy to write. Their content heavy ones always are I hope did it justice had fun writing it. They beyond delivered with this 100th ep. It’s memorable for so many reasons and we got loads of moments from it. Something did wanna touch on that I didn’t love during their dance. I didn’t love the blame squarely being on just Tim for their fight. Lucy had a hand in it too. Tim deserved an apology too. Other than that its perfect. Now I’m wondering if they’re gonna touch on her mental health stuff more in S7. Because there was a lot of build up to it in this entire season. I’m hoping they do cause they put her through damn ringer this season. Gotta have a pay off or some sort like Tim’s did.

Thank you forever and always to those who read, comment, like and reblog these reviews. They do my heart real good when you do. You are the reason I do them. So thank you. Shall see you all in 6x03 :)

~~~

Side notes- non Chenford

The cold open LOL It’s fantastic. Cop cutie is so funny I love it. Nolan’s reaction is hilarious. Just walks away ahaha while Celina jams out.

Harper telling Lucy to ‘run.’ at the bachelorette party had me rolling. Mekia has great dead pan comedic timing. I adore her for it.

I love Nyla looking out for Celina with Aaron. She’s such a good mentor. Telling her Being Aaron's only support is a slow poison. It's true I've been there.

They all looked amazing for this wedding. We have the most beautiful cast. End to end.

The music at the wedding primo. John Mayer, Young MC and Alicia keys. Solid af. Good job James haha

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom family :) Thanks for being so patient with me. I know I have till January but I am moving/slash road tripping at the end of Sept to a new state. Which is a HUGE change. Going two time zones ahead and everything. So wanting to get it out there before I move and have even less time LOL Also thank you for wanting to take this journey with me. S6 was hard on all of us.

Haven't had a show rock me this hard in a very long time. So I'm forever grateful for the love and comments these in depth reviews get. Never want to take that for granted. This was a ROUGH season to say the least. But I’m excited to dissect it with decompressed eyes and somewhat healed shipper heart. Be lying if I was saying it was fully healed. But was a much needed break for me. Let us begin shall we?

6x01 Strike Back.

Premiere starts off with a literal bang. They’re all trying to figure what is actually happening. The mastermind clearly not the man they just took down in Luke Moran. Also loving how scruffy Tim is in this first shot of the premiere. The stubble all over that gorgeous jawline of his. Mmm. Delicious dusting. Love to break me off a piece. Wouldn't be a review if Feral Caitlin didn't make an appearance would it? ha God he's beautiful I can't help myself. This is his fault really.

Anyway back to matter at hand.... Lucy points out Luke may have been a patsy for the real crime. Diverting all their resources to this this one spot instead of their real target. Our girl always being the brains and Tim being impressed by it. They go hand in hand. You know that man loves her brain. Her intelligence is just one of many reason's he fell in love with her. Fun to watch her flex it I have to say.

There’s so much to love about these shots in the shop with them. The Metro call sign being one of them. It does things to me. It’s just sexy. Also the automatic way she’s paired with him in this moment. Like anyone else would be in that car with him but still. Ever the packaged deal. Just the little things I always love so very much. They don’t share shops anymore. So this is a treat. Riding together, brainstorming, and just being the bad ass team they always are in the field. Makes my shipper heart happy to see it.

After the Federal Reserve mayhem we skip 6 weeks into the future. I always wondered what happened in those six weeks with our ship. Probably nothing massive tbh. But be fun to know what shippy goodness could’ve occurred. I imagine they had some time off after that. Spent it together and decompressed from the madness. Just a nice thought to think about is all. *cough fic writers cough.*

We start off our cuteness with Lucy in Tim’s office studying. There’s so much to love about this scene it’s unreal. Let’s start with Lucy taking residency in his office like it’s hers. Knowing it’s a quiet place for her to retreat to. Also I’m sure Tim offered it up long ago for her. Which makes me giddy to no end. He’s not the least shocked that she’s using it. Only that she’s not out on patrol. Married status continues to level up in this moment.

Lucy explains she’s fallen way behind in her studies. OT is killing her atm. I can’t imagine how stressed she feels. Lucy is our resident academic. Not having the time to nerd out on her studies has to be killing her. It’s why she reaches out to her man for help. To pivot this in a different direction. Something that worked for Tim when he needed studying time. Asking if she could ride with him today? Could quiz her between calls.

Getting flashbacks to 2x02 when she helped him study between calls for his exam. I always love the callbacks they do for them. Continuity is ship crack for me. I eat it up. He accepts and Lucy is beaming. Their smiles in this scene are so adorable. Couldn’t be more in love if they tried tbh. I remember thinking how much I missed our idiots in love so much. I'll be this way for S7 too. I miss them.

Tim looks excited for this challenge. You can see it in his face above. But he is also letting her know how hard it’s going to be if she wants him to do this. That it’s probably not going to solve her problem. But he’s willing to expand her knowledge base on wildcards. This way she can take any curve balls Primm has to throw. Lucy’s smile is everything when she thanks him. Relieved her man is gonna help her her out. I mean of course he would. Nothing he wouldn't do for her and she knows it.

I remember seeing the funniest post for this moment before it aired. How it was her basically asking ‘Babe, please be mean to me.’ LOL Lord knows this woman is well aware he wasn’t gonna take it easy on her. Just like the old days. It's where she learned the most. So it makes sense she would wanna dip her toe back in that pool.

Tim is ready to roll. Starting his ‘boot’ engines back up. Don’t tell me it's not a little bit of a kink for Tim. That man is too damn excited to be able to boss her around again. That being said says she learns best when she’s pissed off. I mean he’s not wrong…No one knows how to teach her better than he does. Lucy counters by saying does she? Or is this is just giving him permission to be an ass?

Tim letting her know if that’s really how she feels she doesn’t actually want his help. Lucy backtracks and is desperate for him to guide her with this. Saying she needs it. Tim is lighting up like a Christmas tree. You know that man LOVES her needing him professionally. It’s been awhile since she has. He’s excited. Lucy has been a self sufficient cop for long time now. Hasn’t needed his guidance for quite some time. So for her to come to him with this he is a happy camper.

Tim is thrilled to put his T.O. hat back on for her. They have such married energy through out this scene. Lucy telling him she doesn’t like his excited smile. Tim deflecting saying it's just his smile haha The absolute wifey look she gives him is hilarious. They just be flirting freely in the hallways. Like they aren’t completely married at this point. Even though he’s driving her insane she follows him out with an 'in love' smile. She loves her ass of a boyfriend haha

They hit the road and Lucy is still questioning her decision. Oh my girl. Saying maybe should’ve chosen Harper or Lopez instead…Tim makes a joke how Angela just got back. Her cop brain is just booting up. Which earns a smile out of Lucy. She loves this man sitting next to her so very much. Written all over her face. Doesn’t take long before Tim triggers a Lucy rant though.

Poor man is just trying to help the woman he loves get through this. Wasn't expecting the time bomb he received. He sets her off by saying no matter who teaches her they all have the same database. That there’s only a 8 percent difference between ranks. This is what ignites the Lucy meltdown above. That Primm is going to use that eight percent to trip her up. His face above when she starts is priceless. Tim is just bracing for impact at this point LMAO Ain't no stopping what's coming his way.

The flood gates have opened and phew lord what a meltdown it is LOL Holy hell. She is the queen of them. I adore how Melissa can shoot off so much dialogue in one breath. It’s impressive af if you ask me. Also makes me cackle so much cause I’ve been her. So many times when I’m under immense stress I do the same. You prattle on until you run out of steam. I can’t believe there isn’t a gif set of this rant so I made one. It’s too good not to have in this review.

It’s the look on Tim’s face that has me ROLLING. It’s been awhile since he’s had an epic Lucy rant thrown at him and it shows. Eric the King of facial expressions is at it again. I’m laughing so damn hard. I remember having to pause cause I was laughing so much at his expression. He most definitely wasn't expecting the rant that he got. If you can look at him above and not laugh you're made of stone. Hang in there Tim lmao Your girl Is worth this intense stress/anxiety vomit she just spewed all over you. It's like he doesn't even know where to begin after she's done. So he just doesn't....

The married energy continues once Lucy has wrapped up her meltdown. Tim being the smart man he is doesn’t say a word. He’s learned a thing or two from this relationship. Lucy though takes his silence as saying everything for him. With her ‘Please don’t.’ Tim trying not to start anything telling her he’s said nothing. He truly wasn’t expecting the explosion he got. Was happy to be a passenger princess today, while he quizzed her through out the day. And instead got an epic freak out right out the gate.

Tim can’t win for losing in this scene. (or this episode really) Lucy telling him she hear him thinking it. I remember there being a Chenford Bingo of some sort before the premiere. And exasperated husband was on there. This delivered that in spades. His reaction after her saying this is gold. Haha This is the woman you’ve chosen to love Timothy. LMAO You know he loves her to death neuroses and all but good lord ha.

Their banter never fails to hit and the marriage vibes on top of this is top tier. I am here for it all damn day. One of those 'When did they get married again?' moments. His look at the end is like he’s chanting to himself . ‘You love this woman…you love this woman...’ Lucy tops it off saying she just won’t sleep till the exam. Leaving Tim to shake his head more and not say a word. Only look out the window as he rolls his eyes. Primo banter and chemistry here. *chef kiss*

They roll up to their first wildcard. I adore the Metro call sign as they do. Tim assigning the crime scene to Lucy as he does. *fans self* I can’t explain why the call sign so sexy. Just is. Also them sharing it on the scene also gets me all in my feels. Tim is telling her that he is there as a resource for her. But she is the one in charge. Asking her what’s her first move?

The Plain Clothes Day vibes are all over this scene and it's fantastic. Another callback I am so happy they touched on. Lucy confidently strides onto the scene and explains her move. Tim tells her to call it in. Love the way she looks at him the entire time she does. Tim asks her what else? This is where Lucy’s confidence starts to wain sadly.

Where that panicked rookie from all those years ago begins to resurface. The way she is talking at Tim trying to figure it out oh my lord. The PCD vibes are so strong. Only this time Tim is helping her out a lot more. Unlike back in S1 he was there to watch her flop around, second guess herself and drown. It’s much different this time around. He truly wants her to succeed and let's her know as much in his responses. Lucy doesn’t see that in this moment though unfortunately.

Tim telling her the obvious boxes are checked but what’s her wildcard? The spiraling is so real for her in this moment. It hurts to watch the anxiety build in Lucy. Tim testing her knowing she can do this but her confidence is eroding in this moment rapidly. He is trying to get her there faster by saying she doesn’t have a minute. Which she really doesn’t when we know how this scene ends…

One of my fav parts of this scene is the line above. The kindness and gentleness Tim has. Because he wasn’t in love with her during PCD like he is now. Here he is trying to be supportive and gently guide her to the answer. Even give her an out for it. S1 Tim never would’ve said there’s no shame in not knowing the answer. Not this directly anyways. Doing his damn best to support her through this. But also help her get to the answer so she learns. Lucy takes it the wrong way though.

Reason being it has nothing to do with the man next to her. That man would die first before not supporting her. Level headed Lucy would know that. Sadly she is not here with us at this crime scene. Who she really is mad at is herself at this point. Because she should know the answer and her brain is stalling out in this moment. Tim told her he wasn’t gonna take it easy on her. But breaks a little with his kind reply. Giving her an out if she wants it. Lucy can’t handle it though...Because she is being far harder on herself for this than Tim could ever be. I can relate so hard to this it's unreal.

I do love the way she says ‘Sergeant Bradford, please.’ Lucy feels like she’s suffocating in her own thoughts. The panicked rush to get this right and hitting a wall. The anger building towards Tim at the same time. The confidence she has built since S3 just melting away the more she stresses. All the while taking it out on Tim. Why you ask? Because in this moment she is projecting that anxiety and stress onto him with her reply. Defense mechanism thy name is Lucy Chen.

Doesn’t take long after that line for the sprinklers to come on….The wildcard revealing itself on its own. We watch as the evidence literally gets washed away and the bullet down the drain….Lucy rushes to chase it and watches as it goes down a storm drain. A reflection for how she feels about her hopes of passing this test…It’s a rough scene to watch unfold for her. The devastation on her face when she realizes that bullet is gone is very rough.

They return to the station and Lucy is as defeated as she can be. Hoping no one knows about it as as she rubs her tattoo. They start to play clown music as she enters. SMH. Tim trying not to laugh. Aaron doesn’t help when he also laughs at her misfortune. Not a good day for our girl….Lucy gets distracted by Wesley being there with the baby.

We get a small sweet departure from her anxiety in this moment. While she has him she wants his legal opinion on her crime scene. He too laughs. These men in her life are the worst right now. Not helping her building anxiety and loss of confidence. Wes telling her she fatally ruined that scene. That she’s gonna need a straight up confession to convict someone. And that’s only if she finds the killer…oof.

We rejoin our beautiful duo staking out the crime scene. Lucy grasping at straws to fix what she so royally screwed up. Her heightened state of spiraling continues on in this scene. Lucy admits she wants to skip the exam. Her face breaks my damn heart. Killing me here Melissa. I do love the way he says her first name in response. Still gets me he can. After years of Officer Chen and ‘boot.’ Just hits differently and makes my shipper soul happy.

Tim tells her she is ready. That man would not tell her she was ready if she wasn’t. Relationship or not that man doesn’t hold back. Wouldn't send her head long into failure. If Lucy was in a better place emotionally she would’ve heard him. Heard the confidence in his tone. Seen the empathy he was exuding for her. This man has changed so much in his time with her.

It sky rocketed when they got together. Tim couldn’t have been more supportive if he tried in this scene. Hell this entire episode. But she is so very stuck in her head. A place Tim could normally shake her loose from. A specialty of his really. He can’t gain an inch of ground in this scenario. Lucy has dug her heels in so to speak that she’s gonna fail. Nothing he says is getting through.

Our girl is experiencing massive amounts of anxiety and self doubt. The panic attack is real. The fact that the one person she would’ve sold her soul for, in order to get his support back in the day, isn’t getting through is a problem. Lucy goes on to say she knows herself. That if she takes this test right now she will fail. Her confidence will die along with it. That it’s better to wait. Tim steps from one minefield to the next with this convo.

When he once again is just trying to be supportive and says ‘Then wait.’ Not only is he being in her corner he gives her something she can do in meantime. Something he hates the idea of. Her going UC while she waits this anxiety/doubt out. If that isn’t him supporting her idk what is. He is also still learning how to be there for her emotionally and she isn't giving him the grace for that. Sadly Lucy isn't in the right mind to see that though. She is just stuck in the mode she's been trapped in all ep.

I get it I really do and empathize with her. I’m the same way when my emotions are in a heightened state. Nothing gets through. I'm frozen in place emotionalIy. I get very doom and gloom as well. Lash out at anyone who isn’t going to be positive and reassuring. Which Tim is doing his best to be. But Lucy is in such a dark state of mind she doesn’t see it. All she sees right now is he doesn’t believe in her and is kicking her while she is down. She needs reassurances right now. To her he isn't delivering that the way she is wanting at this point. Him agreeing with her that she should wait is only making matters worse.

Anxiety is a cruel cruel master. It makes you believe things that aren’t true. Amplifies them to the point that you’re so wound up you’re lashing out at everyone. Even your person. Which is exactly what’s happening with Lucy in this moment. Her accusing him of making it worse with how bad she already feels. When Tim is professing words of encouragement all she hears is him saying she can’t do it.

Tim is desperate for her to know he’s in her corner after this display. Asking her if she heard him? Lucy is distracted by someone showing up to the crime scene. Tim asks her what? Lucy replying that woman was looking at the crime scene while crying. Tim is so sassy in his reply I’m proud of him. ‘Or maybe she just had a frustrating fight with her girlfriend’ heh love this. Calling her his GF always gives me the feels.

Lucy gets a last minute win with this case. Catching this lady trying to get her bracelet back after tossing the gun. Her cop gut serving her well. Sadly Lucy doesn’t see this win as such and it bleeds into this final scene unfortunately. Once again the music is absolute perfection. I’ll post some of my fav lyrics at the end of my analysis of this fight. But first let us witness the incredible chemistry that is Eric and Melissa in this final portion. You know your ship is amazing when even their angst is lightning in a bottle goodness.

This fight I will say when I watched it originally excited me. Because it just showed they’re human. Real. The both of them. They make mistakes and aren’t perfect. How healthy this was for them to get off their chest. Because honestly the UC/detective tension has been building for a long while. This was the boiling point for it IMO. This scene hurt so good to watch. I rewound it a few times before I could process it the first time.

Tim starts off with congratulating her on her 4th quarter win. He’s genuinely so proud of her for bouncing back. Felt like she NEEDED this win. So he makes sure she knows. But like I said earlier Lucy isn’t viewing it that way. Her perception is more than a little skewed atm. Her building anger at Tim has reached it's peak. She is cold to him and brisk as hell. Tim immediately picking up on her clipped ‘Thanks.’ Like she was going to be able to hide her anger and frustration from him. Girl no. Tim asks her what? Lucy shrugging him off once again.

Tim pulls on her arm gently and parrots her own damn words back at her from 5x21. That they’re not gonna work if she’s going to lie to him. Lucy conceding immediately to that. I mean they have a lot to work on communication wise, but they’ve also come really far in this aspect too. Don’t wanna disregard that. Look at Tim confronting this right away and communicating effectively. There are causes for excitement with that growth. That being said they have a ways to go. This fight is proof of that.

Lucy pulls zero punches when she asks if he undermined her today so she wouldn’t make detective? The absolute look of hurt painted across his beautiful face kills me. As you all know I relate with Tim so very much. He is so deeply loyal and loving. That any of his motives are to help those he loves around him. He truly thought he was helping her out today. Being supportive and helpful. So for her to come at him like this is leaving him stunned and extremely hurt.

His person the one person who knows him better than anyone, accusing him of something he would never even fathom doing. I was hurt for him watching this. Last thing he would ever do would be to hinder her intentionally. Loyalty to a fault is having someone else hurt you first before you’d ever do the same. That’s Tim. It’s why he is so defensive the rest of this scene. And rightfully so. I'm proud of him telling her it upset him she would even think that of him. Because IMO he did not undermine her. That man did what was asked of him.

All of Lucy’s pent up anxiety, anger, and frustration comes out full force at Tim in this scene. And my boy didn't deserve it. I was on his side the first time I watched it and I am now. I didn’t see that changing though lol. Do I understand what Lucy is going through? Yes. Good god yes. I've been her. I feel so much for what she's going though. I want to make that very clear. But Tim didn't deserve this barrage against him. Wanna also note i’m so proud of the writers for tackling mental health from the jump with this season. Both our babies got issues and this was the precursor to the season really. We just had no idea at the time....

Lucy assumed all day he was undermining her. Instead of just confronting that fact she sat in it. Stewed in it really. ALL. DAMN. DAY. Which isn’t like her. She is the type to face it right away and voice that to Tim. But didn’t this time. Giving us a little taste of their communication problems early on this season. There’s that saying. 'When you assume you make an ass out of you and me.’ And by the end of this convo Lucy is feeling like an ass. I guarantee you that .

Lucy continues to dig herself a hole when she bring up that maybe it was "unconscious". Not deliberate but also that he couldn’t help it. Which doesn’t make Tim feel any better. Nor would it make me feel any better either tbh….Basically saying he has no control over things he does. Which just insult to injury at this point for him. Then Lucy goes for her next punch below. One I still feel was unfairly delivered.

Does Tim still carry those issues? Of course he does. 100% that is still a weight on him. It’s reflected in the next ep when the subject of UC comes up. But does it belong in this fight with him? No. It has zero place in it. But like I said before she is feeling a loss of control and confidence in herself. So she is projecting her insecurities and feelings onto Tim. By bringing up his and using them to stabilize hers. It's a low blow she is dispatching to him.

She is running from her own feelings about this. She is also protecting herself by making it about Tim and his problems. (Which he has for sure) Because she isn’t ready to face the fact that she’s afraid of UC and all that will come with it. How being a detective on top of it is going to pull her from him even more.

She voiced these concerns in 5x19 when she was originally studying for her exam. It’s easier for her right now to hide in and blame Tim for his problems, than deal with her own right now. Tim’s reaction is so valid in this moment. Because to him all he did was have her back from the jump. He is feels sucker punched by this explosion and it's written all over his reaction.

Lucy asked him to help her. He did. Even told her it wouldn’t be easy and he wouldn’t be soft on her. She accepted the terms of this situation willingly. Tim supported her best he could through her meltdown. Did his damndest to not comment on it. He knows it’s her process to spiral a bit then right herself. Because he knows her so well. He had her back in trying to help figure out her wildcard. She rejected it and drowned.

Tim was calm and kind even if she didn’t recognize it about the exam. When she was doubting herself he built her up letting her know she can do it. Did his best to be in her corner if she truly felt she wasn’t ready. Then congratulated her when she got her case win. To Tim all that was him having her back.

It’s why he’s so blindsided and hurt by her words. Lucy is basically kicking him while he down in this moment and it hurt to watch. Because her anxiety and immense stress has blinded her. Making her act so very not like herself. She came at him with a one-two punch. First punch accusing him of undermining her and second being an unfair Isabel punch.

The K.O. punch really is him reading her face above. The way she looks at him when he says ‘But if you can’t see that then…’ Doesn’t even finish his sentence. He can read her just as well as she can read him. Lucy cannot see that right now. Too clouded by her extreme anxiety and stress to see him and his intentions clearly. So he ejects out of the convo. She has knocked him down for the count.

Tim can’t take the way she is looking at him right now. The way she is making him feel. Tim has always held how she viewed him in high regard. Nothing means more to him than what she thinks of him. So for her to level him with this is heartbreaking for him. So he reverts back to old Tim and clams up. Tells her he’s tired and for them to take the night off. Then walks away from her with no way for her to retort.

Lucy is a block of ice until this line of his. She was fully expecting him to apologize and go home with her. And he did not. He ejected out of the conversation to go lick his wounds. The look of shock on her face is everything. She wasn’t expecting that at all. You can see the panic on her face. That raw panic of her being left behind by him. Of Tim leaving her. The tears building in her eyes as he does this. Oh the painful foreshadowing that is this moment…..

The lyrics for this scene are so poignant and perfect. As is the entire musical lineup for this season. Perfectly encompasses Lucy in this episode and especially this scene. Here are some of my favs.

‘I think I’m losing my mind. I see you’re losing your light. Drowning out the decibels. Do you wanna find the antidote? Trying to watch my obstacles, see how fully I’ve been broke.’ Lucy is so broken in this episode and doesn’t reach out to the one person, her person to help fix her. She was drowning and went to him for the antidote and then refused it the entire time. Then gets consumed by it all.

Just a glaring look into how they both deal with being emotionally overwhelmed and vulnerable. And it’s not a good look for either of them this season tbh. But we start out with Lucy’s where I side with Tim before we go head long into Tim’s and I side with Lucy it's balanced at least lol. Damn good premiere though. I was buzzing with excitement after it.

As always thank you to anyone who read this. To all the likes, comments and or reblogs I may receive you are the best. I shall see you all in 6x02 :)

Side notes-Non Chenford

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Scruffy Tim in this ep has my ovaries in overdrive. Mmm just wanna nom on his jawline like corn on the cob.

Nyla Harper being a bad ass in a tense situation is primo. Can always count on her. The aftermath sucks for her though.

Angela being more excited to see a burrito than her husband is hilarious and so on brand haha

Main baddie gets eliminated at the end of the ep. Not sure I remember why tbh haha Things got hazy at the end of the season for me with the SL.

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello lovely fandom and happy Wednesday. We are cruising along with 6x09. Can't believe we're already on the second to last ep. Not a ton of Chenford or Tim in this one but what we do get is GOOOD. It's an all around good episode though. Let us begin.

6x09 The Squeeze

Recap of 6x06-6x08 got me all in my feels before this one even starts. Poor Tim killing me right off that bat. Always be floored by Eric and his ability to convey so much with a look. How it just makes me wanna hug his hurt away. No wonder Lucy always pulls him in for hugs. How could she not? I’m sure he hasn’t even begun to process how he feels. It’s a lot what just happened to him. It all unfolded in the blink of an eye.

Someone who he used to work closely with killing himself in front of him. Doing so because he’s a dirty cop. Not only that but taking all his secrets with him. Only thing Tim got out of it was Dr. London being dirty too. Grey shows up to the scene and startles Tim out of his thoughts. He debriefs Wade letting him know Mad Dog confessed to being dirty. That he believes Blair to be apart of it as well. Now we all know he didn’t mention her by name.

BUT it was pretty damn implied. With the awkward interactions in the hospital and the rooftop scene. Wade asks if he used her name specifically? Tim tells him no….But it was clear she was who M.D. was speaking of. Grey reminding him to be careful of accusing without any evidence. As amazing as his cop gut is that’s not evidence unfortunately. Loving the hat on Wade btw. Very fitting.

It’s not too long before the accusatory Detective Pearson shows up. Not loving him from the jump. Couldn't stand him for couple reasons. One because douche bag just comes off him in waves. Two the way he comes at Tim makes me wanna knock him on his ass. This guy coming in way too hot for my liking. Far too eager to pin this on Tim.

Makes my protective Sicilian side emerge and she’s not happy. I do love Grey being quick to Tim’s defense. No one better to have his back in this moment. Lucy would be great of course. But Wade is the superior in this moment so his 'back off ' holds more water. Gotta love this man. Always protects his people.

Wade can tell Pearson wants to have a slam dunk case against Tim. It’ll further his career to get such a high-ranking officer tangled in a dirty mess. It's why Grey tells him as such. Ugh. What a schmuck. Kudos to the actor though. I instantly dislike him so well done sir LOL The way Tim watches the body get wheeled away breaks my heart. Damnit Eric you’re too good at your job. Expressing so much in that look I just want to hug him. But that’s Lucy’s job later…

We join Celina officially moving in. This will be an interesting dynamic for s7. Especially after they get back together. I’ll be intrigued how that is all handled... But I’m getting way too ahead of myself. It's hard not to when we don’t know anything. It’s easy to daydream and speculate about the unknown. Anyways John is there and sadly not as a friend but to check in on Celina. She says he’s just making sure she’s not late for her shift.

Nolan commenting would reflect poorly on him and his performance review is coming up. Not selfish at all John….His review should be ‘Needs work.’ But we all know how I feel about him as a teacher. He asks Lucy how she is? I don’t think he expects the epic rant he receives. I mean she has healed some but not nearly enough. Her words sounding like she’s trying to convince herself. Makes me sad. Doing her best to flip all this upheaval into a good thing.

Our girl feels really lost in her life right now. All the turmoil that I don’t know she’s really dealt with. I think part of her having Celina move in is she doesn’t have to deal with it as much. To not have to be alone and sit in her feelings. Because I am the the same way. If left alone too long with my thoughts they eat at me. This scene just being more proof she hasn’t dealt with much of it at all IMO. I know the prevailing theory of the season for Lucy was she was alone. Isolated. I mentioned this in my mini too.

I think a lot of the isolating is self inflicted. Her and Tim are very alike in how they handle emotional distress. At an arms length and solo. Other than Jackson, Tim is the only one she’s really allowed close to her. Tamara yes but that's always been more maternal and not like what she has with Tim. And even him she doesn’t tell everything to and vice versa. It’s very in character for her to do this. I know people thinks because she’s bubbly, optimistic and outgoing this isn’t the case. But it is. Just like how people who are depressed don’t come off that way. When there a signs of it despite their ‘happy or sunny’ demeanor.

She was isolating herself before the breakup even occurred. Rewatching this season she was doing so from the very jump of s6. Their fight in 6x01 being proof of that isolation. She felt herself overloading and shoved him away with her accusation. That was just the start. 6x04 and her rash decisions with Jeff Budny is a huge one as well. She didn’t include the one person she should’ve in that ep. It's how we ended up in that hospital room with her. I’ve said this many times before. But her and Tim are quite alike in how they handle their emotions.

Tim’s is showcased more especially this season. It's easier to detect. If you're really looking you can see her's. Lucy’s were screaming through out this entire season as well. She is a control freak just like Tim in the way she shuts people out. Even her person couldn’t get in and vice versa. They have the same fatal flaw. It’s why their lack of communication became their downfall. Our girl has as much growing to do as Tim does. I’m hoping all this is a setup for s7 for her. To me her explosion here is an example of her not dealing fully with what happened still. Shall see how s7 is handled for her. I'm hopeful.

Their convo is interrupted by Angela calling Lucy. First off I love her looking out for Lucy. Just like she does with Tim. There was a great parallel set for this and 2x12. Angela providing comfort to them both when the other is in distress. Our on-screen cheerleader for them both and I love it sfm. Even knowing what a weird place they’re in, she knew Lucy would wanna know from her than anyone else. We love you Angela Lopez. You’re a real one.

She also knows Lucy well to tell her right off the bat he’s ok. You know her heart stopped when she began that sentence. We watch Lucy instantly go into wifey mode. Both in her body language and tone of voice as Angela explains. How she turns her back to the others when it’s about her person. Needing a moment to herself as she absorbs this information.

Melissa crushing it in this scene with everything she does. From closing her eyes taking in the severity of this situation. To the concerned wifey tone she switched to quickly. We all know she has a million and one thoughts rushing through her brain right now. Mainly was he ok? Does he need her? The worry for him settling into her soul and growing rapidly by time the call ends. Once Angela hangs up she finally turns around and updates them. Concern flooding her tone.

The wifey vibes continue when John gets a call shortly after. Tim has called him to be his union rep. (Only reason he would ever call Nolan in a personal matter...) We watch as anxiety all but pours out of Lucy. Worried wifey mode has activated and it’s not going away. Despite everything they’ve been through. Everything he’s done. Her number one instinct is worry and concern for him. It's deeply rooted. It's who she is.

She loves him so much still. That is written all over this scene and her reaction. That instinct to be there for him coursing through her like a powerful current. I love her stopping Nolan before he goes. The worry seeping out of her tone. Asking how he sounded? Nolan just replying ‘Tight.’ Which is apropos for Tim in situations such as this tbh. The reason she asked this was that she could gather everything she needed to know about his state of mind from that information alone.

When she hears Nolan’s reply her worry increases tenfold. Melissa is killing me in the best way in this scene. Props to her and Eric once again for this season. I can't praise them enough honestly. It hurt so much but hot damn if they weren’t giving their A game and more every single episode. Holy hell. Not that they don’t always. Just with such limited episodes they did really good with the material. Writing was superb for them. They rose to the occasion and then some.

Tim is so anxious waiting for Nolan it’s making me anxious. He is wound so damn tight right now. Not that I blame him but we can feel the anxiety just seeping out of him. The tapping of his feet, hands, and whole body is tense before Nolan arrives. He pops right up the minute John enters the room. He doesn’t look at all prepared for what Tim is about to thrown down at him.

Nolan tries to ask him questions but Tim doesn’t have time for it. Immediately let's him know what’s going on. That they’re going to want to hang this on someone. Now that Mad Dog is dead their scape goat is gone. All that is left is Tim. He’s STRESSED they’re going to hang this around his neck. That he needs Nolan to take over the investigation. I said this in my mini and I'll say it now.

My first thought was I don’t trust Nolan with this….That I wouldn’t have chosen him to spearhead this whole thing. But Tim doesn’t have a ton of options atm. So he’s gotta go with what he’s got. And that happens to be John Nolan right now. He asks Tim who to investigate? Tim tells him to look into Blair London the rookie police department shrink.

That he’s been seeing her and so has Aaron. That he thinks she had leverage on M.D. and that’s why he jumped. I wanna pause here and say how proud I am of Tim in this moment. Look at him reaching out for help this time. Not trying to quarterback this alone. Handling this completely differently than how he handled Ray. Not isolating himself and trying to figure this out solo. He’s going through the proper channels this time. Not wanting to do a OP and segregate himself from everyone.

To say it sucks Dr. London is dirty is an understatement. Because my greatest fear would be what she does in this episode. BUT I am forever grateful to her in the same vein. Because despite her being dirty she truly helped Tim in short time he had her. Look at the growth in this moment right now. I’ve said this many times already but I truly hope we continue his therapy journey. The results are astounding and I need more of this growth. It’s just like Chenford ship crack to me. Tim growth is my other drug of choice haha Give it to me writers LOL

We see Pearson is under Dr. London thumb. (Monica’s really) It leads up to this next scene that makes my blood boil. I hated watching this scene the first time and I didn’t love it any better second time around. It makes me sick to my stomach to watch unfold. How Pearson comes after Tim like a dog with a bone. The way he uses Dr. London to solidly his reasoning makes me all kinds of angry. I'm seeing red.

I HATE them using his sessions and twisting them for their own gain. It was like I said earlier this was my biggest fear of her being dirty. This right here. Gotta commend Danielle Campbell though. She does a really good job in this scene. Even though this was her idea you can see the conflict raging in her. Because she is the one who convinced Tim to go to therapy. For pure reasons actually. To help him out. Which she did. We know that’s why she’s under Monica thumb.

She used her need to help people against her. That she is only doing this because she is being coerced. Doesn’t excuse a damn thing, but explains her hesitation and almost tortured look in this scene. Especially when Pearson comes at Grey. Accusing him of favoritism. Saying he cares more about that than this city. You can see the restraint on Wade's face not to knock this punk out. How very dare you come at him and Tim like this. Makes me wanna rage so much.

This scene right here is why love Angela Lopez so much. That fiery passion she has for those she loves. How she is unwaveringly loyal to those she holds dear. Tim being that person in this moment. Not gonna lie that’s why I love this moment so much. Calling her husband. Love her of her life to chew him out to defend her brother. Her first instinct just like Lucy is to protect him.

To make sure if he’s charging Tim that she better know first. Hot damn Angela. Tell us how you really feel. haha This man is so lucky to have this fire ball in his corner phew lord. Telling Wes she stands by Tim a thousand percent. That he’s family. Ugh my heart. Gonna make me cry. I love their friendship so much. Give me more of them in s7. Their dynamic is fantastic and I need far more of it in my life.

We arrive at the best part of the episode. After nearly fifteen minutes filled with tension…We need this hug as much as these two do. My god. I adore her being so attuned to him. Lucy sees him and knows she needs to go to him. She can see how tense he looks. The clench in his jaw very evident. Her look damn near mirroring the worried look she had in 5x19. That same longing look to reach out to him surging through her. Worried Lucy is a fav of mine and we got to have that a lot in this episode.

This time she doesn't stop herself and we all love her for it. She worries about him, regardless of the state of their relationship. It’s what drives her to go after him before his elevator closes. That magnetic pull she can’t explain nor describe. All Lucy knows is she needs to be near him and comfort him. That even from afar she can tell he needs her. As I said earlier Lucy is so attuned to Tim and what he needs. It’s a beautiful thing to witness.

To say Tim is shocked when she keeps the elevator from closing is an understatement. Not only that but stopping it so they aren’t interrupted. Wanting to ensure they have a moment alone. Even when she says to be clear she’s still mad. That this doesn’t change anything. He’s still clueless as to what is going on here. You can see it all over his face above. He has zero idea why she is in here right now.

Because in his mind there is no way she’s thinking about him. Let alone wanting to be there for him in this moment. Which breaks my heart. The last thing he ever expected was for her to care for him. Or about him in any way shape or form. Also the 4x09 vibes coming off this hug had me losing my friggin mind. This hug is everything. It showcases their bond, the intimacy that still exists between them, the vulnerability has me reeling and how they are each other’s safe place still. *happy sigh*

The way she pulls him in reminiscent of the 4x09 hug. Tim standing there not expecting this moment of comfort and getting it. It’s the way she draws him into to hide in her arms. Just like she did in ‘Breakdown.’ I’m fine….Only difference in this hug from that one is the way he just melts into her arms. The face smoosh into her shoulder. Once again mirroring that infamous hug. We watch all that anxiety and stress just drain out of him. The tension he was carrying into the elevator leaving his body once he's in his happy place. Closing his eyes and surrendering to the comfort she brings him.

He immediately wraps his entire body around her. Melding into her. Easily falling into this hug and her arms. Like two puzzle pieces that are meant to be together. Fitting back together so effortlessly after time apart. Encasing her back in his hands and snuggling in for good measure. Clinging to her like she is his emotional life raft. Because. Well she is. Holding her as close as he physically can. Cherishing this moment. Because I’m sure he never thought he would experience this again. Holding her in his arms like this. Feel her comfort and love.

These two make me insane in the best way. Also let me once again point out Tim's growth. He didn’t even try to fight her like he’s done in the past. He sees this for the gift that it is and absorbs this moment. Savoring it really. The peace you can see on his face floors me. Eric at it again. You can tell this is first time in long time he’s felt whole. This hug is beautiful on some many levels. You can feel the raw emotion coming out of them both.

The concern that’s been building up in Lucy since this morning coming out in waves. She is tucked in TIGHT to him. Clinging to him as much as he is clinging to her. I'm not ok. You can hear the immense worry in her voice as she asks him if he’s ok? Despite everything she felt the draw to be there for him. The way she looks like she can finally breathe as she asks him that question is EVERYTHING.

We get some good hands hands hands in this hug. I can’t stop staring at her thumbs in that gif either. The soothing way she is running her thumbs up and down on his back and arm. Methodical in her soothing of him. Gah I cannot you guys. Her remarkable empathy shines through in this moment. This was a balm my soul needed so much. That all of us needed. We all know how much our boy longed for this.

Can't get over her face pressed so tightly into his neck. Doing this, as she asks him what she’s been dying to since she received that phone call. Like she couldn’t breathe until she knew the answer to this question. Look at the concern on her face when she does. I’m reeling and sobbing. Lucy looks on the verge of tears herself. Their hearts are just starting to mend in this glorious hug. You can feel it. Ours too.

No one does hugs like our ship does. They’re always top tier goodness. Holy hell. They’re just breathing each other in. Calming one another down. The anxiety that was raging in both of them cooling down to a simmer in this embrace. He has melted into her like butter at this point. Reveling in the comfort and empathy she's providing him. The way he says ‘I am now.’ Reminiscent of 5x21 and their phone call in the alley. How he wasn’t ok till he heard her voice.

Song remains the same in this moment. He wasn’t ok until now. Until she had her arms wrapped around him for this hug. Didn’t know he was holding his breath till she released it for him. It’s how he sways with her and sinks even further into her arms. Smooshing his face even farther into her shoulder. It’s so sincere his reply back that I am just a puddle of emotion. He’s so vulnerable in this moment with her.

Letting her know he wasn't ok until she was there. Imma scream at how much I love this growth in him. If there was any more doubt in Lucy’s mind of his feelings for her, this hug and his reaction to it should clear that right up. That is a man who is still so in love with her. Letting her know he wasn’t alright until she came and found him. I’m not crying you are…. Find you a person who knows what you need when you need it. Even when you’re not in the best place. That’s Lucy Chen for this man. Reigniting him falling in love with her all over again in this moment.

Lucy picking up on this growth reflects in her reaction back. Gah it’s the way she tightens her arms around him after she hears this. Closes her eyes and tries to bring him even closer. Trying to wrap him up in her arms even tighter. Absorb any stress he is carrying right now. The sheer relief written all her face. The way she shuts her eyes knowing he’s ok because she is there. *sobs*

Just melting into this man as she holds him as close as she can. Clinging to him as much as he is to her. I’m not ok in the best way. I remember thinking this hug would feed my soul into the hiatus. Just gonna scream into a pillow how much I love this moment. Their chemistry is insane and with a hug? Even more so my god. We are blessed to have a ship where our hugs are this amazing.

I love this faraway shot of their hug. They are in-sync as they part. How do they do that? We can see how deeply entangled they are. Nary an inch between them. You can see how they were just clinging onto each other for dear life. Look at Tim’s arms/hands. How gentle and intimate his are placed.

Having her as close as he can. It’s the hand gently wrapped around her lower back that has me losing it. It’s just so intimate I can’t get over it. Lucy is retuning the favor in kind. She too is just as intertwined as he is in this moment. Arms clinging to him and her face buried in his neck. Their chemistry on massive display here.

You’d think the hug alone would be enough to make me squee to death. Lucy follows it up with fixing his collar. I’m dead. The most wifey move of all moves. Reminded me of the lint picking from 5x12. Such an intimate coupley thing to do. I’m losing my damn mind over it. Wife energy coming off her in waves. Just seemed so automatic and natural when they part.

Also she touches her arm before reopening the door. She can’t keep her hands off him and I’m here for it. Tim looks like he’s going to cry in that elevator. I also love Tim putting his hands in his pockets right after. Because if he doesn’t he’ll never let her go. They’ll never get off this elevator. He could've stayed in that hug all day.

Basked in the comfort she had to give him. So he puts his hands immediately in his pockets after they part. Ugh my heart. They miss each other so much and this hug is screaming that. Also screaming how they didn’t miss a beat. How natural and wonderful it was. *happy sigh* This hug giving me true hope for the first time.

They re-open elevator to find Angela and Harper waiting for them. They look like they’ve been caught. Like they didn’t just have this deeply emotional embrace. The looks they share before Lucy leaves are LOADED. The expression on Angela’s face... She knows they interrupted something. I adore her saying she can get him extradited if he needs it. Love this woman so much. We know just like Lucy she is willing to do anything for this man.

Makes my heart so happy. All these women in his life want is to support and protect him. You can tell Angela wants to be tagged in so badly. Tim telling her won’t be necessary. He didn’t do anything wrong. That she had his back last time. He has different forces at play this time. Adore her saying 'Different isn’t me.’ Not it’s not ha Sadly last of Tim for this ep. *pouts*

Another telling scene for Lucy. Really really need s7 to clear these things up for her. Because despite being wonderfully empathetic human to Tim. She is still lost in life and not sure who she is. I NEED UC and some other things clarified for her next season. I really do. Just because she’s amazing at UC (and she is) doesn’t mean it’s her path. I do love this scene because it’s just Lucy being Lucy.

Having EIGHT covers ready to go. Our little nerd in action here. I adore it so much. It’s the most Lucy Chen thing she could do. Telling them it takes twelve off duty hours to grow. I love her so much. It’s not a mystery why Tim is so damn gone for her. Their faces as she explains cracks me up. Tim wouldn’t be shocked in the least. Hell I’m sure he was there while she was growing some of them.

The detective line is just another stab at our hearts though. Hoping for clarification and goodness for her career in s7. Manifesting it. As much as I need their reconciliation.(and I need it bad) I need her path resolved just as much tbh. For her to find her purpose and grow. Because once her and Tim do this. That reconciliation is gonna be even sweeter because of it.

I will say I was impressed with Nolan. Enjoy this it won’t last ha He handled investigating Blair really well. Rattling the cages of the potential dirty cops she was seeing just by showing up to her office. I forgot seasons 1-2 Nolan was a good cop. He just got really annoying after s3. LOL Also roping Smitty in was hilarious. He was already there for the food so might as well use him.

It’s the first time in what feels like a long time I enjoyed John. He enlists Nell too to help him with data from dispatch. Maybe it’s Bailey that makes him extra irritating to me. Lmao Sorry Jenna....lol Anyways quite the miracle Nolan pulled off in this ep getting me to like him. Not only that but commend him on the job he’s doing. Helping out Tim in a major way and I can’t deny that.

Nolan’s plan works out like gang busters. He went to her office to rattle a dirty cop into revealing himself. Pearson does it perfectly. Losing his mind about finding out they were in Mad Dog's apt. Like I said earlier I commend John on his work in this. Had Tim’s back and then some with his investigation. If they wrote him like this more wouldn’t dog on him so much lol

The other part that is so great is Grey. He is a papa bear ready to devour anyone messing with his work kids. This part was so cathartic to watch after earlier. Watching him dismantle Pearson like the schmuck he is. Was sick of him stomping around the station. Acting like he can just be top dog when he's really on a leash.

Rubbed me the wrong way being disrespectful to Tim and threatening Wade. Watching him attack Nolan/Celina is Grey's final straw. Puts that turd in his place. We watch him visibly shrink as Grey tears him a new asshole LOL All but telling him to stay in his own lane. Get em’ Wade! Nolan putting together the connection of Pearson and Blair due to this. Was fun to watch them piece this together.

Scenes like this give me agita like no other. My heart was beating in my chest for her. Lucy did a really good job despite the toy. Unfortunately it’s one of those loud musical ones. That not only gives away her position. But possibly her cover in the process. He find it’s on the floor. Looking menacing af. This man gives me the creeps on so many levels. I hated this mission for her on so many levels.

Unfortunately they’ll need her going back into the house. Now that Monica is in play it’s crucial she is there. Especially with Batista investigating who tried to kill her. Lucy is worried they’re going to blow her cover faster with her involved…But it’s a risk they have to take. If Tim knew about this he would be feral. Oh Feral Tim how I miss you. I need more 2x11 feral Tim in my life. That's a wishlist for s7 I suppose.

The ep ends with Nolan making a deal I’m not sure he can make lol But he was good in this episode so I’ll give him a pass. You can see how panicked she is. I am impressed John got her on this bench I will say. Getting her to almost spill her guts to him. Saying she didn’t think anyone would get hurt. That's what they all say....

I will say I missed Tim a lot in this ep after he was gone. That's my man. But it was a good episode. Reminded me of what a good ensemble cast we have as a whole. That's all she wrote for this one.

As always thank you to everyone for reading, liking, commenting and reblogging these means more than you’ll ever know. Shall see you all in the finale with 6x10 :)

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

We get more insight in how Dr. London is being leveraged. Of course it’s a Monica connection because she is the absolute worst….

It’s great to see Pearson get nailed to the wall at the end of the ep. Prick.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers :) We’ve reached the episode that rocked me to my very core. Honestly haven’t been this attached to a ship in a very very long time. Years passed without this level of attachment. Bringing out sides of me I didn't think existed. Like doing reviews. But our ship is something special even when they rip our hearts out. I blame Eric and Melissa LOL They are INCREDIBLE in this episode. The both of them. Brought their A game and then some.

This ep legit affected my mood for 3 weeks no joke and utterly destroyed me. I needed extra days to decompress before did my mini. The fandom was so lovely about that too. Love this fandom so much. I still don't know how I got that out tbh lol Also God Bless my bestie D for going through that with me. I got to watch it early that day which normally didn’t get to. Was usually after work. I remember D wanted to stop me but didn’t cause she couldn’t tell me why..

I had to go to a company meeting after and pretend I wasn’t devastated. Be a positive fun leader when inside I was dying. I did a good job my team had no idea lol But damn that was tough. Never been happier for a 3 week break than after this one. We all needed it. Let us begin. And thank you all again for going through this heartbreak with me. Gif count was rough for me so I fit in everything I could and made a ton.

6x06 Secrets and Lies

We start out with Lucy looking as stressed and anxious as we’ve ever seen her. Laying in bed but most definitely is not resting. The brutal toll this situation has taken becoming visible. When Tamara asks how stressed she is from 1-10? Lucy answering 19….Ooof....Could not be more relatable if she tried. When I get this laser focused I too am a nineteen. Her person has been radio silent for days. Her last contact with him was a massive knock out drag out fight.

This is the most time they’ve spent apart since they got together. Like I stated last review other than 6x01 they've scarcely been away from one another. Her UC mission in 5x21 yes but doesn’t really count. They talked every single day. So it’s truly the longest they’ve been apart. No wonder she is at a 19. Poor Lucy. Kills me. Such a wreck without him. Tamara asks if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy tries to defend their situation. Not well but she sure tries lol

Lucy is barely keeping it together and it shows. I love that we get a shot of her pin-up board from that BTS video. The cupcake poster hehe Hopefully that makes a triumphant return in s7. Tamara doesn’t want to add to her stress... But let's her know she wants to move out. With friends from school. Worst timing ever. It makes sense but the timing is horrendous. Lucy takes so many hits this season. It’s almost worse the second time around somehow.

This time Lucy goes to an actual adult about Tim. Not useless Nolan who was painfully inept for her. Couldn’t fit it in but we see her touch her tattoo when she approaches Angela. *heart clutch* I love Melissa for doing it every time though. So subtle yet impactful. Nice little mini gut punch to start the scene. This was the right call though. If anyone knows Tim like her it’s Angela. Lucy asking if she should alert Grey? Honestly she should've but here we are. That would've been a whole other set of problems though...

Lucy feels like she’s going insane so Angela validating her helps. (at first) You know she finds this behavior of his incredibly alarming. We can see the immediate worry painted across her face. That’s her brother. She loves that man like he’s one. What sucks is that, even though Angela is empathetic, she doesn’t fulfill the needs that Lucy is going for. Which is reassurance and 'Hey let’s do this together.' A united front. Hoping since he is acting off Angela's reply would be 'Let's find out why as a team.' She is protecting her but Lucy is in a heightened emotional state and doesn't see that. Only see's being shut out further from Tim.

Angela plays her cards very close to her chest. Like a good detective would. Sadly Lucy wanted more solace than just ‘Trust him.’ That’s all she’s been doing for days. Poor woman is going out of her damn mind with worry. Even tells Angela as such. The reply she gets back not what she wanted… She wanted her detective gut and friendship. Unfortunately she just gets the former. That short lived validation she got earlier dying off quickly. Lucy is so damn upset when she takes off from the convo. Knowing if she sticks around she’s going to cry on shift. My damn heart. Melissa be killing me. Holy hell.

Angela scaring the crap out of Tim is hilarious. Serves him right tbh. This episode had me so upset and twisted, I couldn’t even enjoy scruffy Tim in a leather jacket. You know something is wrong when I can’t gawk over this man. Angela has zero trouble finding him. Because well it’s her. This is why Lucy enlisted her. She needed the best to help her. Such best friend behavior from the minute she enters his car.

Drinking his soda, calling him out, and asking WTF is going on? I adore her brazen bravery. This is why we love Angela Lopez. Willing to get herself fired for him. That she can take the hit not Lucy. I mean she’s not wrong….Angela could easily live off Wes. She would hate it but she could. It's a more viable option. Says it can be ‘Wine o’clock for her.’ LOL I always enjoy them. More of them in s7 please writers.

Tim doesn’t argue with her reasoning. Starts to explain the whole Ray debacle. Why he can’t just let him go. What he has on him. That he needs to catch him in a new crime. So he has reason to actually arrest him. Once Tim fully explains Angela just replies. ‘I’m in.’ Tim is shocked because of course he is ha Even though she is his best friend he can't believe has his back like this. Oh my broken boy. He double checks and asks if she’s sure? Her reply being the absolute best. ‘Yeah. I got your back boo.’ Hehe Lucky she’s your best friend my love.

We rejoin our bestie duo at the docks. Scoping out Ray on whatever back door deals he’s doing. She is studying Tim hard in this scene. It’s the best. Angela tries to impart some logic to Tim. Saying he’s followed Ray for two days and nothing. Asking how long he’s going to do this? Tim replying the most Tim Bradford reply. ‘As long as it takes.’ Angela is on her game today and doesn’t let him get away with it. Saying he’s just going to walk away from his job? From his relationship with Lucy? All to arrest a guy he hasn’t thought about in over a decade?

Something isn’t adding up for her and she is letting him know it. Angela gives her patented look. Knowing it’s something more. There’s a reason she’s such a good detective. Woman knows how to get to the root of things. Tim has only given her surface info at this point. Definitely not enough to justify this crusade he’s currently on. Let’s him know Lucy would understand why he lied on the report. She would even commend him for it really. We know she would. She love his soft heart so much. Tim agrees and says she would still get in trouble for knowing and not reporting him to IA.

A risk she would gladly take if you’d let her Timothy… It’s here Angela digs a little deeper. He gets a second stare. Tim finding it aggravating and telling her as such. Angela let's her next truth bomb drop. Saying he’s doing it to protect himself as much as her. That there’s something he’s not admitting. Mic drop. Nailed it and Tim knows it but won’t entertain it further. Has him dead to rights and he knows it. We then get the glorious BFF line. Like it or not she is. lmao Has your number just like your girl.

We return to Angela’s for Tim to break our hearts some more. Theme of this episode. One punch after another. Literally no time to breathe unless you check out during the other SL's. Which I did tbh.... They’re alone so she probes Tim further. Knowing that it has to be so much more than a report. He wouldn't let Ray get under his skin like this if it was that shallow. That he's bearing the weight of something on his soul. Tim gives in and begrudgingly explains what happened. That he had been squad leader most of his tour. That he was looking to move up to Sergeant First Class. Only caveat was he couldn’t have any rampant criminality in his unit.

Ray was in the way of this. Tim decided to keep it within the squad if they caught him themselves. He did an unsanctioned mission… Oh Timothy….He explains how Ray called in an air strike on them. Did this the minute he knew he was trapped. Schmuck would rather take them with him. Such a cowards move. The way Tim describes the air strike. Ugh my heart. His eyes filling up as he depicts how the world imploded around them. Eric is a master of emotion here. So expressive. Looks like he is right back there, with the most haunted look on his face. He thought he was going to die. Being so vulnerable I wanna hug him.

He and Mark were lucky though. The Humvee took the hit for them. But Henderson and Coyle were ripped apart….Ugh and now we see what he’s been bearing. That he led his men to their deaths. Their loyalty and faith in him had cost them their lives. All because Tim was in pursuit of a promotion. For personal glory. Explains why he wouldn't praise himself or take awards pre-Lucy. Or advance his career before her either. He didn’t feel he deserved anything good. Because the last time that was important to him, he got two of his men killed. Imma go cry now.... My poor broken boy. The PTSD is so real.

Eric continues to rip my heart out. Telling Angela there was so much blood. I can't imagine seeing that. They for sure thought Ray was KIA. No way he survived. It’s the way he catches his breath, tears in his eyes in this next part. I'm so upset for him. The way he points at himself when he says leadership. The failure and shame he feels for what he did. When we found out it would be his military background I was excited. I knew it would be dark though. Whatever this was. But my god. I wasn’t expecting it to be this. But makes perfect sense why he’s kept it from Lucy. He can’t bring himself to forgive what he did. How could he expect Lucy to? To still look at him like he’s the same man she fell in love with?

The deep rooted shame is evident in this scene. This is quite the weight to keep on your soul. One I’m sure he’s never told anyone. Not even Isabel about I bet. My guess is he buried it once he was state side. Like most do with trauma. Hoping it would never resurface. Sadly not how trauma goes... The way he tells the story it’s for the first time. You can tell. He’s right back there re-living it all. This scene gives us so much insight to Tim as a person. Why he is the way he is as a cop. As a person. It explains why he lost his damn mind in 2x01 over Lucy falsifying the report. Probably brought him right back there.

This is a very revealing scene. It makes sense why he shoulders things alone. It’s punishment for what he did. Doesn’t think anyone could love him enough to shoulder it with him. That breaks my damn heart. This ep makes me so emotional. *sad sigh* Nothing scarier than the person you love seeing you at your worst. With his background of abuse, it makes sense why he’s hidden this from Lucy. He doesn’t feel worthy of the comfort she would bring him. Only shame that he made a mistake. Tim is very self loathing and this is why. Coupled with his childhood it makes so much sense why he is the way he is…This one is emotionally heavy af. All his unchecked trauma barreling through like a bullet train in this ep.

Lucy arrives home and Tamara is there to take care of her. Saying she ordered pizza. I love this. She needed this. Lucy leaves the room to drop off her stuff. We hear a knock at the door and it’s Ray.... Earlier he scanned Tim’s vehicle and got Lucy’s address. Which made me sick to my stomach. I knew him grabbing it was going to end this way. Best way to get to Tim is through his heart. When Tamara opened the door and it was him..The hairs at the back of my neck stood up. Tamara calls out for Lucy. She emerges and goes into protect mode right away. Eyes on Tamara first but also hating her gun is locked up.

Heart was in my damn throat the entire time. Lucy handles herself like the bad ass we’ve all come to know and love. Commend her for keeping herself composed when she was terrified. I also adore her not putting up with any of his scare tactic BS. Her line about the only call she’s gonna make is for the ambulance. Like hot damn Lucy. Way to protect Tamara and yourself. It's true she could take his scrawny ass easily. I long to be the confident BAMF she is.

Doesn't hurt she’s still got the rage burning from being in the dark. So not only is her life being threatened now Tamara's is. This is Lucy's FINAL straw. It’s now bled over in the worst way. Not only that but she still has no idea what’s going on. We can see that mama bear come out loud and proud. It’s one thing for her to be involved it’s a whole other thing with Tamara dragged in. This is what pushes her to reach out To Tim. To cut his crap. Whatever this is has now endangered an innocent life. One she loves fiercely and will die to protect.

Lucy RAGE calls Tim and unleashes hell. As she should… Demanding to know where his ass is. Tim knowing he can’t hold her back any longer. So he lets her know. I mean Lucy is million percent done with this crap now. With his behavior, him cutting her out, all of it. So very very done. Rightfully so. I do love him answering ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ Knowing she wouldn’t be calling unless something was. He for sure would’ve dropped it all to go to her.

But she was way too pissed to see that fact. She shows up like a bat out of hell. Biting his head off immediately saying 'Does she look ok?' No….she does not. Forever love Angela escorting Tamara out of the room. Mom and dad about to have it out so let's go. The concern all over his face kills me though. This was the last thing he wanted to happen. The very thing he was striving for by shutting her out backfired horribly. Not only did he endanger her but Tamara too.

It was Lucy’s final straw and she is showing it. These were the types of fights that are needed though. As much as this hurts she is fighting him to save them. Because he is worth the bother and effort. Just like he stated in 5x08. Asking why her and Chris never fight?They’re fighting against each other to protect one another it kills me. Also you know your ship has chemistry when even their fights are lightning in a bottle goodness. Just as amazing as their happy stuff. I can't speak enough to their fantastic on-screen chemistry. Even though this fight is fiery and hurts to watch it's hurts so good to watch them hash it out.

Tim explains who Ray is and Lucy don’t give a single fuck. It’s not who he is that has her raging. It’s him cutting her out that is. I love the movements Melissa does in this scene. I know she had an interview about her being mad. Thinking she was awkward. It wasn't at all. Was so real. I think she nailed it. Her body language is on point. How she stamps her foot. Shouting how who Ray is doesn’t explain why he iced her out. At all. She is VIBRATING with anger. Yelling at Tim to stop protecting her. Which he won't. That is like asking him to stop breathing tbh. He would rather die than not protect her. Ugh his reply of ‘ I can’t. I won’t.’ They’re at odds with the deepest part of their souls. Of who they are.

Tim will never stop protecting her. Just as she will never stop trying to help him. Been in her DNA from the jump. For him to not let her is just as painful as Tim not protecting her. *sigh* This is where their intense need to protect each other backfires so badly. Sounds romantic and sometimes it is. But in these type of moments, it shows the cracks in their already fractured communication. It real though. Communicating is HARD. Especially when you both come from abusive homes where that wasn't taught. If you aren't taught healthy communication you're just not going to do it. Simple as that. It's like a muscle that never gets used. Then when it does it feels so unnatural and painful.

These two are going to be the death of me. Hell they already have been. They have so much to work on in s7. It’s insane. I'm excited for it though. Lucy then brings up how Lopez was read in but not her. She is HIS PERSON. If anyone should be read in it’s her. Consequences be damned. Yeah Angela does have less to lose but that is NOT the point. Tim is clearly not getting that fact. I adore Lucy grabbing his hands during the end of the scene. Mirroring back she 'Can’t and won’t' not help him. Telling him she is over being to good girlfriend. He’s going to let her in NOW. Oooh lord. You Tell 'em Luce.

Their OP to foil Ray goes off without a hitch. Tim tells him it’s over. That there isn’t an air stroke to save him this time. Ray tells Tim ‘I am the air strike. I’m about to blow up your whole life.’ *grumble* It’s so true on many many levels. Watching Tim be so stoic in his IA investigation kills me. Wish could've fit this in. Eric be out here again making me emotional af two eps in a row. You can see the tears in his eyes but the rest of him is controlled. That military background of his coming in clutch.

it pains me to watch him lie and have it destroy him. I remember I saw people saying how could he lie? That’s not like him. Um no. This is very like Tim. Not to lie but to protect those he loves. If lying protects Lucy and Lopez that’s what he’s going to do. He has a history of being a little gray for those he loves. Isabel is a good example of that. All that went down with Detective Murphy was similar to this. ‘Some things matter more.’ Once again rings true with him. Tim is believed over Ray. Because even if Tim doesn’t want to believe this he is the better man.

Better reputation and Percy closes the investigation. Have missed him. But whoever he’s around it’s not good. Love the actor though. What happens after is rough to say the least. Never seen Grey as disappointed in Tim as he is here. Reprimanding him and having to report him to Pine SUCKS. R.I.P. Metro Tim. I loved you so…It’s killing Tim to have Grey look at him this way. Deeply respects him and to be scolded by him cuts him. Just dismisses Tim without further comment or fight….

God almighty the song playing in the background. I don’t even remember it. I only watched this scene once. I think I blacked out a lot in this moment. The immense shock rocked my system. Suffice to say it’s beautiful. The piano, the haunting oohs and lyrics are the perfect backdrop to this devastating scene. I felt this building anxiety watching this scene. Waiting for the hammer to drop. When she pulled him into her arms *phew* It was first breath I had taken in nearly two episodes. These eps had me on the razor's edge of sanity. I love her waiting outside for him and instantly pulling him into her arms. Just like Tim did for her in 5x22. I'm fine.....Imma cry as I write this. Horse heaven playing in my ears right now. Adding to my emotional state. These two getting me all weepy.

I’ll be honest I thought if a break up was coming, it was coming from Lucy the first time. Which is why this devastated me like it did. Having the full season in hand now. Makes total sense it’s Tim. At the time I thought would be her. But that wouldn’t be like Lucy at all. After everything he put her through. The secrets, the lies and shutting her out. She had every damn right. But she loves this man unconditionally. So unconditionally. Everything Lucy does in this scene is a reflection of that unconditional love. There to pick up his broken pieces despite all of that went down. Look at her in those gifs above.

Especially that second one. First time she took a breath too. So grateful to be here for him in this moment. I truly thought ‘Oh. Maybe we’re ok... She’s hugging him.’ Encasing him in her arms. Trying to absorb all of his hurt. Supporting him the way he sought out days previous. Gently cradling him against her. It's the tender way she nestled her fingers at the back of his head that gets me. Tapping into some ship crack for me there. *phew* Honestly thought with her being there for him they would make it out unscathed. I truly did. The chemistry from this hug is unreal btw. Tim doesn’t feel worthy in the least. The way he slumps against her. Doesn’t really hug her back like normal. Can't see Lucy is so willing to absorb his hurt and pain. To love him through this. This hug is beautifully tragic.

Lucy releases him and he looks as broken as I’ve ever seen him. 4x09 x 1000 tbh. He shirks away from her. Hands in his pocket. So disgusted and ashamed with himself. Something l've learned in Pilates is posture and the importance of it. When you stand tall and at full height. You are confident and sure of yourself. When you are slumped it presents a lack of confidence, shame, and feeling unworthy. His posture is screaming that. Like he feels he shouldn’t even be in her presence right now. He crushes me with how he says he lied about everything.

Then sarcastically almost sardonically follows it up with ‘But hey it saved my job….’ The amount of disdain in his voice is gut wrenching. The whole reason he was in this Ray mess was to further himself. To keep his career intact. He saw a promotion and went for it at all costs. What he just did lying to IA was to be that same man again. (In his mind) To put his career first over what’s right. Risked people's lives again as well. People he loves. Sickens him ten years later he’s doing the same thing all over again. Even though it's so different this time. There is still nobility in it with saving Lucy and Lopez. But this man can't see that right now. Doesn't see any good in this situation or himself.

Lucy does her best to sympathize. Telling him it was an impossible situation. If it had been her she would’ve done the same thing. Thing is if it had been for Tim yes she would’ve without question. But he can’t see the forest for the trees atm. He is drowning absolutely drowning in his self-loathing. Tim continues on with the painful self flogging. Telling her she would’ve never been in his position. Putting her on a pedestal while he makes himself very very small. That OTP line from 6x03 from him 'You could never disappoint me.' That is true. The problem is he doesn't realize he could never disappoint her either. Tragically Tim doesn't view it that way. Only sees he's not worthy.

Lucy once again tries to pick up his pieces. Telling him he thought he could handle it. He was wrong but made it right. It’s like she can sense him pulling away in this moment. Doing her best to calm his fears about himself. Trying to do what she’s always done in years past best. Build him up. Soothe him. Sadly she isn’t gaining an inch of ground with him. He is stuck in how he feels and there is no budging him. Tim is morose saying he wishes it was that easy….We can see the incredible amount hurt on his face. Telling her he just lied to two men he deeply respects. He is coming undone rapidly and Lucy can see it. I adore her putting her hands on him. Trying to right his ship.

Ground him to her in this moment. Because once again it's something she’s done so well in the past. Tim is spiraling so hard he can’t see her gesture for what it is. Tells her he just betrayed everything he thought was right about himself. *heart clutch* Lucy can’t stand him talking down about himself. Tries to interrupt but Tim won’t allow it. Lucy graciously nods and lets him get it out. Especially when he tells her how hard this is for him. She is so wonderfully understanding it makes my heart ache. Tim feels like he is a bad guy. Thought he had gotten past this and was sucked back in so easily. Truly believed he had become a better person since then. (He has) Ray was right he was gonna blow up his entire life.

He just exposed Tim for the fraud he already felt he was. Bringing his greatest sin to light. Bringing up feelings of not being deserving. Of inadequacy. His abuse background pulling into the station and not leaving. Tim is back to a place of massive self loathing. Saying he has been lying to himself for years. Thinking he’s gotten better when he hasn’t. To him he reverted back to the man he thought he left behind. Not only that he put his person. The woman he loves at risk to cover up his past. To cover up his shame. It’s hitting him like a freight train of terrible realization. Continuing on to say he can’t go back to the way it was. I was hopeful when he said ‘Right now.’ Then followed it up with maybe never….

Lucy had been nodding along. Being so wonderfully empathetic and understanding. She was with him till he said that. Then she is hit with her own terrible realization. He’s leaving her. She is losing him. In the same parking lot where he told her to take a risk. Where she expressed her concern over losing him if they did. Worried about losing the most important relationship in her life due that risk. The same spot where he told her 'Unless it is.' A giant stab to our collective shipper hearts.

It's why Lucy is in a state of utter shock. As we all were tbh. She shakily asks him if he’s breaking up with her? When he said I’m sorry. I remember having to pause. Freak out and cry. I recall chanting ‘No no no….’ To myself repeatedly. My dog was very alarmed. Because I was distraught af. I couldn't believe this was really happening. My happy place was being decimated before my eyes.

Look at the range of emotions on Tim's face before he delivers that line though. Eric you why you doing this to me? They blow this scene out the damn water. it's so visceral. and raw. He looks like he's about to have a breakdown before he delivers that line. Battling with himself about it. There's a desperate need to want to stay with her. But his self doubt and hatred wins out knowing he isn't deserving. Do I think he came out thinking he was going to do this? A little. I think the more he spoke about it and himself the decision was made. He wasn't going to be be talked off this ledge.

The way Lucy replies after this rips my heart out. This break up feels like death by a thousand paper cuts. Months later and this hurts just as much as the first time. Lucy doesn't hold back in the least. Telling Tim he doesn't get to do that. Her line about using it as an excuse is so spot on. This Ray situation has hit VERY close to home for Tim. An insanely sensitive subject for him. It's rubbed against a wound that never really healed properly. Just was buried in the back of his mind.

He doesn’t have the capacity or emotional maturity to handle it. So he ejects out as a coping mechanism. Lucy calls his ass right away for it. It’s so painful to her that he is doing this excuse. Because it feels like a crappy cheat to them. To her. It's truly a cop out and our girl deserves better than this. Especially after all they’ve been through together. All that rapport and trust they’ve built over the years. It’s an insult to who they are as a couple and the relationship they’ve developed. Sadly that all vanishes in this moment. It’s stunning Lucy and straight murdering my feels.

Her ‘That's not okay.’ is a dagger to my shipper heart. The way she continues to repeat herself cause she's in shock. Ugh.This goes down as one of the most painful breakups I've had to go through. Lucy is so upset he is going this route. Melissa had a great interview (quite a few actually.) About the lie line and using it as an excuse for Tim. She noted Lucy is upset cause how he’s acting isn’t them. That they get to have these conversations. Not only have them but recover and grow from them. It’s what she expecting from him in this moment. It's what she expected from his 5x08 Mantra going into this relationship.

She is telling him I’ve got your back. I’ve got you. What are you doing? What happened to ‘Unless it is?’ Lucy continues to vehemently disagree with him. As she should. The worst part is Tim says ‘I know.’ Like he knows what he’s doing is wrong. Knows to eject after everything isn’t ok. Yet he can’t stop himself. He is not emotionally mature enough to handle this conversation properly. Also too blinded by his own self-hatred to see the unconditional love she is showing for him in this moment. God this is painful.

Tim then comes in with the breakup line of ‘You’re an incredible person.' Lucy can’t believe this shit . She really can’t. That Tim is is doing this to her. To them. Even though Tim is being genuine with his statement. You can hear it in his voice. Doesn't do anything to soothe the wounds he's causing. Once again Melissa crushing it with the upset body language. The mannerisms are so on point. Maybe it's because I'm Italian and I use my hands when I'm upset. I do exactly what she's doing. Why I appreciate it so much. It's so real.

It's a cop out what he is doing. 'It’s not you it’s me' schtick. We see the anger building in Lucy. She can't even look at him in the second gif. For him to toss away what they have is painful enough. To do it based off a cliched excuse is destroying Lucy. Thinking what they had was worth so much more than this. Thought they worth the nasty fights. No way she knows fully what happened or she would figure out why he's really doing this. That’s what makes the rest of Lucy's replies so god damn tragic. She is trying to hold onto him for dear life. But is only being pushed away in return...

Tim continues to push forward with this breakup. Letting her know she deserves better than him. It's SO much deeper than that but it's the only way he can convey it right now. Her ‘Oh my god…’ This is her worst nightmare. Her biggest fear come to life. This is why she hesitated starting this relationship. Why she was so afraid of risking her most important relationship. It's unfolding before her eyes and she can’t stop it.

Like a bad dream she can't seem to wake up from. We all wish we could...Tim has never felt worthy of Lucy’s love, light or praise. This reaction just proves that. It's been building for a long time and this is the final result of it. It’s not logical but a trauma brain rarely is. The amount of emotional and physical abuses he endured growing up left it's mark. Has him truly convinced Lucy could never love him knowing what he did. Tim feels he does not deserve her comfort, support or love.

Punishing himself and denying what he need most because he feels unworthy. Thinks he has made a mistake so grave there is no coming back for him. No way she could love him if she knew. So he like Angela stated earlier Tim is protecting himself. Pains me to watch. Now as I've said before it's not to excuse but to explain his side of it. I understand why he's doing it even if it's fucked up.

He doesn't give Lucy much more than she deserves better. Tells her it's why he's walking away. This man feels so undeserving of the love she has to give. In his mind he thinks he’s doing her a kindness. To separate herself from such a shameful and broken man. That she could do better than him. To Tim he made the biggest sin and can’t live with himself about it. He can't envision a world where Lucy would love him through it. The tragedy is she already was in this scene.

Lucy isn’t hearing any of it. Full on panic spiral that I shared in this moment. Her ‘Don’t do this. Why are you doing this?’ Is the most soul crushing part. She can feel him slipping through her hands. Like sand rushing through her fingertips. She can’t hold onto a grain of him. Can only stand there as he gives up on them. His face in the third gif...Knife to my soul. *screams into a pillow* It's killing him to walk away from her. Eric and his expressive eyes has me bawling. The quiver in his bottom lip as well. Gah it hurts to watch them both in so much pain. It’s the way she pulls away with one hand, but is clutching his other hand for dear life, that really gets me in that last gif.

Asking him once again why are you doing this? I shared that sentiment in this moment.. Tim stands firm in his decision to end them and rip all of our hearts out. Eric had a great quote about how Tim handed this whole thing. ‘He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through. And it can come out as a bit too strong.’ He feels he is a burden Lucy therefore he is removing himself. Not thinking about the damage it’s going to do to her. The immense regret he’s going to feel when he regulates a bit more.

Something therapy has taught me is we are ruled by our nervous system. Anxiety, stress, fear etc Tim’s was haywire in this moment. All of them going off at once. Not thinking clearly. Acting out of fight or flight. He took the flight option unfortunately. The tragic way he grabs her head and gives her the saddest head kiss. Shattering all of our hearts in the process. It’s the devastated look on his face when he strokes her hair and takes off. One final gut punch from him. It's like he’s leaving behind his greatest treasure and can’t bear to be around it any longer. Lucy is clutching to him until he departs. *snifffle*

The man actually thinks she is better off without him. Truly believes that. Even if Lucy had succeeded it keeping Tim, this would've reared it’s ugly head again down the road. This breakup ruined my friggin life. I kid you not. They were my happy place. My consistent happy place. And now that was gone. It affected my mental health a little too not gonna lie. I think I was in mourning for three weeks. Honestly I still am. Low key will be till they're fixed. Those three weeks were unbearable. But also needed. Thank you again to my bestie D for being my mourning partner through out that. Kept me sane.

That being said I think this will push them in the best direction. A healthier and stronger one. I truly believe that. I recently broke up with a friend who I had been friends with for ten years. It was very hard on me but time. Boundaries were being pushed and it wasn't healthy anymore. My therapist pointed me to a wonderful book called ‘Goodbyes and good boundaries. ’ While It helped heal my heart it also has really good pieces in it. Stuff made me think of this very ep tbh. Sure that wasn't her goal LOL But my brain is always in a Chenford state of mind in some way or another.

First one that made me think of them. ‘Health cannot bond to unhealth.’ As much as it wasn’t fair for Lucy. And god it wasn’t after everything else this season. Tim was in such a radioactive state staying with her wouldn’t have worked anyway. He was radiating turmoil. Lucy can do a lot for him but not this. He NEEDED therapy so much. There are things you learn in there that only your therapist can help you with. He was unhealth and Lucy was trying to keep her empathetic healthy self to him. It was never going to work. Not unless Tim put in some work. Which he couldn't at this point in time.

“Relationship often die not because of conversations never had but rather conversations needed but never had.” Another good one made me think of them. Tim was not ready in the least for the adult conversation required of him in this moment. Or their entire relationship really. They both danced around the issues a lot. 6x02 closest we got. Even then it was one sided. Thus them dying in this moment. Despite Lucy’s damndest to keep them afloat. Remind him of what they’re fighting for. Of why they started this. This breakup was painful af. Despite how this wrecked my world it’s going to be good for them in the long run.

I will say Lucy in that last gif was all of us in that moment. It was a soul crushing moment that decimated this fandom. Still blows my mind Melissa and Eric were surprised just how insanely devastated we were. Why they did those lovely posts during the three weeks. To thank us and to hold on. Growth is coming. They’re going to be even better after this. Doesn’t mean this didn’t hurt like a SOB and won’t long after they reunite. Curse you Eric and Melissa. You are incredible to evoke such emotions out of us all.

Thank you for going through this with me again. It wasn’t easy but they always worth it. Appreciate any and all comments, likes or reblogs I get. I shall see you all in 6x07 :)

Side notes non chenford

Balian doing the creepy bed thing again. Just have to note that.

Also can’t believe they didn’t end the ep with their breakup. There is a whole minute or so of I don’t give a shit after that scene. I was so distraught they could’ve had Nolan walk into a wall and I wouldn't have noticed.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers :) Ahhh already 4 eps into this season. Almost half way there. Doesn’t take long when we only got 10. Ha Still grateful for what little we got was better than nothing tbh. Also reached the limit on my master post for links. Apparently there is a limit. Boo. Gotta add a link to a new posts in there for rest of the reviews. Was kinda shocked at the lower amount of gifs for this ones. So a lot are the made ones from me. Anyways this is really really good one. Let us begin.

6x04 Training Day

We start out with Lucy being a lying liar who lies. Not even well.... Tim not believing her even a little bit that she’s "fine." One of Lucy’s tells is her fidgeting. Whether it’s her hands, her sleeves, and the ever infamous tattoo touch she does. All indicators she is anything but fine. Tim is well versed in all of these things. Because he has the book of Lucy memorized. Her telling him it’s ’Not a big deal.’ Is a big ol red flag for him.

Tim voicing as such to her. Letting her know anytime he’s heard that from a woman in his life they were anything but that. Lucy keeps pretending she’s made peace with it. That’s she’s a professional. She will keep on keeping on. But as we know with this episode that is a load of absolute BS. It's one thing after another for her in this one only adding to very 'not fine' she is. Poor girl.

They do turn a cute corner with her asking if he wants her to be upset? Tim replying of course he doesn't. But the man is worried. Rightfully so. The smile on her face when she asks this is adorable though. They have a nice little moment of reprieve till numbskull Nolan appears. Bringing up the very thing that is eating at her. Her short ‘I’m fine.' Before taking off. Ugh. Undoing any progress Tim made. Thanks John forever the worst with that stuff. Smh. The way Tim’s eyes follow her after that. *sigh*

So begins the hell episode for Lucy. She shows up to the scene asking about their killer. Then asks Harper/Angela if they want her to start canvassing? They tell her yeah the northwest corner. Lucy making a crack no one has covered it yet because it’s by the ‘Hell dumpsters’. Their sassy looks say everything. Lucy spitting back a company line about being a patrol officer. Oh my girl. It’s hitting her so hard she’s still a patrol officer. Feeling like at this point in her career her talents are being wasted. I mean they are…That much is clear in this moment.

Her expression at the end of the scene says everything tbh. About all that frustration and feeling like a failure. This is the starting point of Lucy isolating herself. I know everyone thought she had zero support. To me and I know others said it during the season too. That she isolated herself. Because just like Tim when she is going through something she does it alone. She is internalizing EVERYTHING right now. I have been known to do this as well. The need to shutdown and do it alone. I can relate to her.

She has a solid support system but that doesn’t mean she’s taking advantage of said system. I can relate to that very well too. It took awhile but I now have a solid system. I don’t always rely on them in times of emotional distress. It’s a learned skill. One I'm still learning to use. We talk about Tim and his need for therapy. Lucy needs it too. They’re scarily alike in their unhealthy coping mechanisms. It’s frightening really. Also the song running through this is so good (Dandelion-ill peach)

This next portion is the beginning of her spiral as well. It’s wrapped inside her isolation. It’s a recipe for disaster as we see later on... The isolation continues while she is guarding the dumpsters solo. If there was ever a time Lucy didn’t need to be alone with her thoughts it would be today. She spots some puke and thinks it might be from the killer. Calls Harper and tells her as such.

Harper tells her it’s unlikely to be related but they’ll need to process it anyways. Unfortunately it is only going to extend her time in hell. Nyla telling her could take a couple hours. 4 tops…Ugh. Not exactly what her day needs. Doesn’t help Harper cuts her off on the phone before she can finish her sentence. *sigh* Now Lucy is left to sit in her thoughts and stew in her emotions. I believe this episode was setup to reflect how Lucy is feeling.

Which honestly is like shit. How she feels alone (self inflicted or not), how she’s falling behind and feelings of failure. It’s reflected in all her scenes in this one. It’s a tough one to watch for her. She’s feeling very segregated and this dumpster canvass isn’t helping. As we know our girl isn’t very good at spotting when she’s being emotionally blind to her own feelings. Nor realizing when she’s not reaching out for the help she needs. The thing about support systems is they can’t be mind readers. You gotta relay when you need that support.

Lucy watching that press conference is killing me softly. You can see so much emotion written all over her face. The jealously and the annoyance of not being the one up there. Because well she almost was. It was just dumb luck (title of Nolan’s career) that they got that call and she didn’t. Ain't nothing going our girl's way today and it shows. She is a seething cauldron of emotions that she is tamping down under the guise of being ‘fine’

I do LOVE her waiting on Tim so they can go home together. (Also the hands in his jeans, the shirt, the jacket. Mmm gimme) It’s the little married things that get me all amped up. Waiting on her man to go home. It makes me so happy and squee. She needs it more than ever too. I swear at this moment in time the only keeping her sanity intact is that man.

He reads her like a book from moment he sees her though. Knows what her sour mood is all about. That if only Primm had seen her linked to this case. Seen this press conference it would’ve proved him wrong about her. Made him regret tanking her exam. Damn he knows his girl. Because that's exactly what her face is conveying in the very beginning of this scene.

Lucy notes instead of that she was stuck in dumpster hell. Not only that but she guarded puke for 3 hours. Based on the off chance it belonged to the killer. Tim asking if it did? Hoping to God it did LOL It’s the way Melissa delivers the sick dog line that cracks me up. How she could easily lose her shit right now. Like that was the straw that broke the camel's back for her today.

Ugh I hate it so much for her. She was already all up in her thoughts and failures. Probably thinking why her? What can’t she have even the simplest win? That she’s been resigned to guarding puke and it not even being helpful. That it should be her up there not Nolan. I mean I agree it should be. This is all just percolating toward the rash decision she makes later.

So damn desperate to prove she’s worth her salt. That this is the career for her. She’s meant to do so much more than patrol, canvassing, and general grunt work. Our girl is in dire straits and Tim can see it clear as day. Which is what makes this next portion so sweet and important tbh. Also doesn’t hurt there are more married vibes attached to it.

I love the gentle advice given here from Tim. She’s had a really bad day and he’s being sensitive to it. Doling out solid guidance but being soft about it. Applying logic with empathy so she gets his point but also doesn’t get more upset. Tim can see how this rough shift has rocked her. Especially when she is already on shaky ground. This man like I’ve been saying has been 10/10 for her. Idk what she would’ve done without him eps 1-4 I really don’t.

The beauty of this scene is him empathizing and building her back her up in the process. Reassuring her in the kindest way. That yeah you had a bad day, you’ll have 'em again, but tomorrow could be a whole new ball game for her. That being on patrol is an 'anything can happen game.' Knowing she is down about patrol right now. The man knows. Then is positive about it. Saying today wasn’t her day but tomorrow could be. I love this man so very much. As does Lucy.

I just love the ‘share our day’ marriage vibes this scene holds. Tim sees she had the tougher day and is there for her. Lucy getting lighter as they continue to talk. Something Tim is very good at. The best part of this scene is he gets her to laugh.

After he’s said his piece and comforted her he takes it a step further. Makes his lady laugh and we’re all here for it. Telling her not to be so greedy LOL It’s the way Lucy is looking at him that gets me in the first one. Her Tim smile in full force. Then their precious combined smiles in the second one. God damnit they’re so cute you guys.

I’m dying. They make each other so happy I wanna cry. The lack of space and how they bump arms as they laugh. Just being in love with all to see I cannot. Lucy being grateful for this goof of a man making her smile. For relieving her even if it's just for a short while of that weight on her soul. Letting him carry it with her for a bit. *heart clutch* I love them sfm.

First off before we delve into this part, I wanna say Lucy is an absolute BAMF is in the moments leading up to Harper/Angela arriving. How calm and collected she is. Making sure to cover Bailey as she gets her downed partner. If she could see herself in this moment she wouldn’t have so many doubts. But sadly that is not how crippling self esteem/confidence issues work. I just love watching her in the field and how well she handles herself.

Second my heart was racing from moment that man is shot in the chest. The entire moment is one giant adrenaline rush. Holy hell. Lucy covers for the duo until they reach her cover. Their airship is three minutes out and Lucy doesn’t think they can afford to wait. Wants to run down the alleyway solo. Cut him off so he doesn’t get away. That desperate need to prove herself rearing it’s ugly head.

Not only that but it is running the show for her right now. Harper immediately says no. That’s it's a 40 yard run in an open field. Lucy isn’t listening to her advice though. Level headed Lucy would've heeded her warning. Once again this season she is not with us in this moment. Saying to blow his head off if he pops up. That she’ll be alright. Angela doesn’t look pleased with this idea either. I mean look at her above. Concern written all over her. Her gut feeling screaming this isn't a good idea....But Lucy is hell bent on it.

This run had me holding my friggin breath. Tim would’ve lost his damn mind had he seen this. Not only that he would’ve ripped them a new one to letting her attempt it. When she got hit first time watched it I screamed. Held my breath until she got back up. Angela and Harper’s horrified faces mirrored my own. Couldn’t breathe till she popped back up. It was the most reckless risk she could've taken.

She is very very lucky her radio took the hit. It saved her damn life after that crazy run of hers. Lucy taking Tim's suggestion of being a big hero a little too literally. Honestly would’ve loved to have seen Tim tear them up for letting her do this... Reckless doesn’t seem strong enough of a word with this action. This decision of hers is a culmination of an episode long isolation. Of letting her emotions run the show and she took a risk that could've killed her. All to proof she could do it.

She had definitely given into those voices in her head telling her she’s not enough. Telling her she needs to prove herself or no one will ever think she’s worthy of moving up. To show she doesn't belong on patrol anymore. If she had just told her support system and really Tim how she was feeling. She wouldn’t have been this damn hasty. Lucy wasn’t thinking about what would happen if her radio didn’t catch that bullet. How utterly wrecked Tim would be if she had been hurt or even worse killed.

The problem being she kept all these emotions and struggles to herself. Which clouded her judgement. Her brain wasn't thinking in this capacity. This moment showing the continued communication problems in their relationship. How her decision could've really affected Tim. She wasn't thinking that in the moment though. Their communication issues go both ways with them. When they’re feeling emotionally distraught or vulnerable they isolate and take their problem on themselves.

Which results in foolish and hasty decisions. I.e. this moment above. And in next 2 eps with Tim...Something they gotta work on either before they’re back together or in the early repairing of their relationship. We get to see her KIA radio once she is clear. It very much saved her life and is now useless to her. I do love how she communicates with them before she pursues Jeff. Harper commending her on being smart in this moment. I mean they're in it now. So every move she makes from here on out has to be smart.

Lucy catches Jeff in the alleyway just like she wanted. Unfortunately he doesn’t look like he is interested in surrendering. Melissa crushes this scene oh my lord. The shaky way her voice breaks when she tells him to stop. To put his weapon down. Trying so hard to prevent a deadly outcome. I’m getting 5x19 flashbacks for her in this moment. Lucy dealing with the same issue Tim had. A person willing to die instead of give up. Despite them wanting to concede.

Lucy is basically pleading with this man to give up. She doesn’t want to shoot him. Doesn’t want it to end this way. Lucy is an empath as we all know. So her shooting him right or not she is going to carry it on her soul regardless. It’ll be a stain on it because she would’ve done anything to avoid this.

Lucy is on the verge of tears when she calls out Code 4. That the shooter is down. Ugh my heart. Adrenaline from end to end with this moment. Having it finish with a bang made my stomach sink for her. We watch how it affected Harper in 6x01 and she’s seasoned. How it affected Tim in 5x19. It’s never anything I wanna see our characters go through. Felt like I couldn’t catch my breath even after he was done. Such a good scene though.

Then comes the best part of the episode. Tim storming in like the worried husband he is. He has her work bag and I wanna cry. He has a death grip on it as he searches for the desk. I just love that he made sure to grab her bag before rushing off to the hospital. Man is on a mission to find her. Nothing matters to him but her in this moment. It’s the way he goes to the desk and they direct him to her immediately. He thanks the nurse with his tap to the counter.

I can’t imagine how he was when he first got the news. The look of sheer worry painted across his face when he steps foot into that hospital. Worried Tim is everything and Eric conveyed so much in these first two gifs. The first one is all concern and anxiety. He can’t breathe until he has laid eyes on his girl. The second one is relief in finding her. Tim completely by passes the gaggle of people outside of her room.

Doesn’t check in with them or see what happened at the scene. All that matters to him is getting to her. It’s the way he stops before he enters in. Taking a beat for the first time since he arrived. Then steeling some resolve knowing he needs it be her rock in this moment. Once he does this he steps into her room. Checking in and asking her if she’s hurt? He’s so gentle and soft like we all expect at this point with him. Doesn't take his eyes off her for one second as he sets her bag down.

Per usual the music department be killing it out here with the song selection. The soothing guitar and the singers soft voice are the perfect backdrop to this scene. His voice is as tender and comforting as Tim's tone through out the scene. Once again Melissa and Eric are the epitome of chemistry. Their amazing acting chops shining through in this moment. Melissa got me crying and all in my feels. Once Tim knows she’s physically ok it’s time to take care of her emotionally. The hand to her hair has me reeling. The way he strokes her head it’s so intimate and gentle.

Telling her she didn’t have to take his suggestion so literally. My heart. It’s all ‘hands hands hands’ from here on out. Like I said in 6x02 their physical chemistry forever floors me. It’s also just so damn sweet. Like he has to be touching her in order to know she’s ok. To reassure himself that she’s actually sitting in front of him right now. Saw a great tag said whenever we get hands like this makes them feral. How I felt about this entire scene.

So many wonderful facets to fangirl about and be feral over tbh. The man can’t stop touching her and I’m here for it. From the moment he was allowed to he was off to the races. Makes my heart so happy. He’s so tactile with her. It makes me wanna scream into a pillow. Touch is one of his languages with her but also their love language as well. It shows constantly. Honestly getting this soft scene after that adrenaline fest was much needed. That whole shooting scene had my blood pressure up.

I’m just bawling for Lucy after this. We get to see all she's been holding in. How incredibly upset she is about this whole situation. It's here with Tim comforting her she finally lets her walls down. Because her protector is there. He is there to pick up her broken pieces and put her back together. I know that feeling. Where you've been keeping it together. Then your person comes and asks if you're ok? And you realize how much you're not and the floodgates open.

That's Lucy in this scene. With tears in her eyes she tells him she doesn’t feel like a hero. Tim’s hand hasn’t left her at all btw. They both need this touch to ground them right now. I love how he rubs his thumb up and down her shoulder. Comforting her while she tells him her worst fear. The one thing that's been weighing on her soul since she released that shot in the alley. That she killed Jeff Budney. Asking Tim what if she killed him?

Tim crushing it with the comforting and being calm in his reply. So certain that no matter the outcome it’ll be ok. Why you ask? Because they’re going to deal with it together. The ‘Then we’ll deal with it.’ is EVERYTHING she needs to hear right now. Because yeah it’s bleak right now. But Tim wants to make sure she knows she isn’t alone. That he is there and no matter if he makes it or not he’s by her side. These are the exact reassurances she needs in this moment.

Lucy’s reaction has me crying some more. It’s the stifled cry when he tells her this. The sad shake of her head. Killing me softly. She couldn’t face the possibility of Budney dying. Not until her person showed up. Her fierce protector and love of her life standing by her side. Letting her know it’s ok. Even if it’s not it will be because they’ll face it together. Gah getting emotionally writing this up. This scene was primo on so many levels. *chef kiss.*

It’s here Grey and Wes enter the room. They let our lovely couple know he made it through surgery. Thank you Lord. The relief that floods Lucy is immense. I love how she looks at Tim and shakes her head. Needing his grounding stare as she takes in this news. Making sure it's real. Wes is quite the downer when he tells her for now. That if he dies later the investigation has to resume. The look on Grey’s face like WTF man…Let her have the win.

We see protective Tim step in after this. Asking if she can do her statement tomorrow? All he wants to do at this point is get her away from this hospital. From Jeff Budney and prying eyes. Wade is super sweet and turns on his dad mode and says that’s fine. Tries to get her to look and meet his fatherly gaze. She is too out of it to notice his kind look. All the more reason Tim needs to get her the hell out of this place.

Tim breaks her out of her revere with his touch as she watches them depart. I’m squeeing at the way he squeezes her collarbone, then soothes it with his thumb, before he moves his hand to the back of her neck. All the affectionate touches and very tender comforting has me ship drunk. His hand didn’t leave her for ninety percent of this scene. *happy sigh* He’s trying so hard to keep her there with him. To let her know he’s there and hasn’t left.

It’s the soft way he tells her ‘Let’s go home.’ also has me squeeing. Her home is now his home and I’m bawling. Like I said earlier all he wants to do is take her home and continue the comfort. Knowing the last place she needs to be is here. It’s the sweet smile on his face as he beckons her off the bed. Gah what a good man. Took care of her heart and soul in this moment.

Lucy doesn’t make it far before she is collapsing into his arms. Truly letting her walls down in full. Relaxing for the first time and melting completely against him. It’s the way she folds into his arms so easily. How he has her wrapped up in them immediately. Shielding her from the rest of the hospital. From this situation. One hand in her hair cradling her gently to his chest. How he is softly cupping the back of her head. The other wrapped around her nice and tight. Cocooning her in his embrace. His eyes shutting the minute he can feel her safely in his arms.

Tim breathing for the first time since he entered this room. All the while giving her the comfort zone of being in his arms. Gah it’s the slight sway that goes along with it that has me swooning. Rocking her in his arms sweetly. Trying to give her the solace she had been craving since that alleyway. Lucy hiding her face happily in his chest as he does this. Her hand placed on his chest as well has me happily sighing. No one does hugs quite like our couple does. The emotions they evoke out of me is unreal. They are top tier goodness.

To make the hug even sweeter we get a kiss to the head. The way Lucy wraps her arms around his back fully as he does this. Grounding her further as he takes care of her. They continue their lovely swaying as Tim places his cheek on her head. Resting it there lovingly. There’s a reason I kept this hug as my banner. Not that I don’t love the elevator hug in 6x09. I love it so much and will gush when we get there. But this hug ranks up there as top ones for me. Why you ask?

This hug just exemplifies how they provide comfort for each other. How physical touch is one of their primary love languages. They are each other's sanctuary. A happy and safe place amid the darkness their job brings. Coupled with the song playing in the background, the moment becomes even more glorious. It’s a beautiful scene made even more poignant by the this loving embrace.

I'm still not over how beautiful this scene is. You can see the stress and anxiety just drain out of Lucy. From the moment she is in his arms she is at peace. The same for Tim with pulling her into his arms. They both needed this hug so much. The continuity of the head kisses I’m here for as well. Gimme that all day long. In every future hug. I remember thinking as the shot panned out what would she have done without Tim in this moment? Without his wonderfully soothing comfort? Ugh what makes the next set of episode a gut punch that I still haven’t recovered from…

Thanks as always to my amazing readers who like, comment or reblog these reviews. Means the world to me. I shall see you all in 6x05 :)

~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford

I love Aaron going out with Tim for his first day. Going over the T.RA.I.N yummy T.O Tim in a Metro outfit. I will take that at every chance I can get it. If I had only know this was my last ep with him in that outfit would've appreciated it more ��� Also this gif was for eye candy. Nothing more nothing less. How I wish to be the chair for which he leans upon in this scene. Metro outfit, badge showing, the way he is deliciously leaning against that chair. *fans self* Doesn't hurt Aaron is hilarious in his quest to please Tim LOL

We watch Nolan continue to be a terrible T.O. He lets Celina say a huge no no over the radio smh

Something else wanted to touch on for the Lucy having no support system. What happened with Jeff Budney is the direct result of not relying on said support system. I'm not blaming her. I have been her. Just want to make that very clear. But the gaggle of people outside her room worried about her is that system. Waiting to see what happens to her etc Everyone was worried about her and for her.

Other than Tim she does have it but as we know this season is super rough on her. So that is hard to see. Especially with losing her main pillar of that system in Tim. Which causes her to retreat even farther inside, but that’s for future eps to delve into. I remember D had this great post about how Lucy has been isolating for years. We were just finally seeing the result of that. Very true.

I mean only person she's really let in other than Jackson is Tim. That's it folks. Because she too has walls. She has Tamara but it's not the same as what she has with Tim. Once again hoping s7 resolves this isolation and her career path in the process. I'll be ok with her being put through it if we can have a good conclusion to go along with it.

Lastly the song running through the final scene is ‘Let it all go’ the lighthouse and the whaler. Such a good song.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday wonderful readers. It's hard to believe we’re on 6x08 already. Thanks for hanging in there with me. 6x05-6x07 are not easy episodes emotionally. So appreciate you all reading these. 6x08 is an emotional ride all its own. This entire season is really. We get a beautiful moment at the end for our ship though. One that still makes me weepy. With the perfect song to go with it. So let's begin shall see?

6x08 Punch Card.

The ep name is punch card when it starts out with a punch to the heart. We see a reminder come up on Tim's phone. It’s about Lucy’s birthday *sad sigh* Not only a reminder but he has 'Birthday' in all caps. Wanted to make sure he didn’t forget. Also and this is just shippy conjecture... Was he did so he could do something special for her. That’s what that reminder represents to me. He quickly swipes it away and tries to swipe the feelings along with it. His sigh and tongue click has me emotional. It’s all through this episode we start to see the regret really begin to sink in for Tim .

I know people were upset he didn't seem as upset as Lucy in 6x07. Trust me that man is WRECKED. He showed signs last ep. But this episode marks the beginning of him truly showcasing all of that. Tim is starting to feel the immense loss he’s inflicted on himself. *phew* I wanna cry. Which has been a theme since 6x05. He is broken out of his emotional revere by the elevator opening. It’s Mad Dog and Blair. The tension is palpable in there but you’re not sure why. Only that something feels very off and wrong about the whole thing.

Tim is so caught up in his Lucy loss he doesn’t pick up on it. Had that reminder not come up he would’ve been sharper. His cop gut screaming out a bit more. But as of right now it's subdued with sadness. Kills me how he wants to rectify things with M.D. Breaks my heart really. He hurt more than just Lucy with his actions. Mad Dog is short with him and not in a place to receive these amends. Tim breaks my heart a little more when he watches him depart. Oh Timothy. He finally acknowledges Dr. London asking if she's getting off here? When she says she took the wrong elevator my red flag was going OFF.

Now comes the scene I know made everyone uncomfortable. I don't love it I'll be honest. But here’s my take on it. Last episode we talked about defense mechanisms a lot. What Tim and Lucy’s were. Why they use them. To me this scene right here is displaying Dr. London’s. I believe she uses flirting as her defense mechanism. They showed her flirting with Aaron at the bar in the recap for a reason. Side tangent about the recap. This will be a small detour to my point lol. They also showed the breakup again in the recap too. Hate that. I'll have PTSD from that scene for life. Like damn recap I don't need the reminder. Don't worry we haven't forgotten I promise you. It's seared in my memory for life thank you very much....

Anyways I think that scene at the bar with Aaron in the recap was to set up this scene. Very intentional of her manipulative flirting. Tim asks about Mad Dog which sets that in motion. So in order not to blow her cover she flirts with Tim. Under the guise of ‘Checking in on him.’ Turning it back around on him by asking how he felt seeing him? She’s doing this to shield herself and deflect further questions about what just happened. Tim is clearly upset and she takes advantage of it. It’s a mixture of the Lucy reminder and now seeing Mad Dog. The manifestation of two relationships he destroyed with his actions in 6x05-6x06.

So even though I don’t love this scene. I get the why and mechanics behind it if that makes sense. I know some people thought him replying back was flirty. I think he was just doing his own investigating. His gut kicking on in this moment. He’s clearly not comfortable with her trying to do therapy outside their sessions. Also his face when he exits the elevator tells me everything. It’s not of a man who flirted. It's one who’s is still deeply hurting. Also conflicted because his cop gut IS going off and he doesn’t know why…. He is feeling as off as we were about her.

We hop over to our girl in Grey’s office. Asking her how her new roommate is working out? That being Celina of course from the previous ep. Reason he’s asking is he needs her to ride with her today. Lucy is so adorable saying she’s not a T.O. though… This is where the scene gets real cute. Grey all but anoints her LOL Lucy’s face when he does is hilarious. Couldn't fit in but was very Lion King vibes up in here haha

Lucy continuing the adorableness asks if he can do that? Wade replying he is all powerful lmao I think this scene is great for a couple reasons. First off thank you Wade Grey for giving her a position of power and authority like this. If anyone has earned it it’s our girl. I also think this is really good for her self esteem. For him to trust her enough to give her a leadership opportunity is huge. Shouldn’t have taken this damn long honestly. But she has been very UC driven since S3.

Regardless I love this so much for her. To prove her leadership skills. To rebuild herself a bit post breakup. Lastly I think this moment is a wee bit of foreshadowing. With the time elapse, I’m sure is to come with the s7 premiere, she could be one by then. This is straight speculation. Since we don't know a damn thing bout s7. But I think it would be real good for her. She would be a superior teacher to new rookies. Far better than numb nuts Nolan…. Grey is MVP two eps in a row I will say.

Tim enters the chat immediately after. He’s so lost in trying to delete his reminder he doesn’t realize Lucy is there. That Lucy smile of his ever present. He literally can’t help it. Man is so damn gone for her. It oozes out of him whenever she is present. Ugh. My heart. Lucy almost returns it because she has for so many years prior. She stops herself midway and reminds her body she’s still mad at him. Tim tries to break the ice a little with his joke. Lucy doesn’t engage as much as he would like of course.

Still picking up the pieces of her broken heart my love. Also the awkwardness that still exists between them is ever present in this short scene. Couldn’t get away fast enough and Grey notices this of course. His reply of 'Wow.' saying it all. The way Tim watches her until she is out of sight *heart clutch* Just watching his entire heart walk out the station….Ain’t no thing…Doesn’t affect me at all. *sniffle* *phew* I’m fine.

This hurts no matter the time that has passed. Hate seeing them like this. I know with s7 in the works we are on the road to recovery. But until said recovery happens, these post breakup eps are gonna hurt like a SOB. There's no two ways about it. Even after they get back together these will still sting. Cause Eric and Melissa did an incredible job with these episodes. This short scene wrecking us shows us their skills. Elevating the material in a way only they can.

Grey notes how awkward that was. Tim telling him it’s better than it has been.... That’s not enough for Wade though. Honestly it shouldn’t be. That he need again to fix this ASAP. This will only continue to breed dysfunction. Which in turn will be a disaster for team cohesion. That he isn't going out that way as Watch Commander. Wade reminding him he NEEDS to work it out with Lucy.

Otherwise it’s going to force him to choose between them. Now you know I love my Tim. Love this man to death. Would fight anyone who knocks on him. But I friggin adore Grey choosing Lucy in this scenario. Tim caused this mess he either needs to clean it up. Or it’s time for him to go. Hurts my heart to write that but it's true. Even though he is senior officer, worked there longer, been under Wade longer it doesn’t matter. He will be the one shipped off. Taking her side is the right thing to do.

Makes me wanna cry the thought of him being sent away. I remember first time watched this it started a deep ache in my gut. One of massive anxiety. Of course it would be friggin North Hollywood. That damn station been haunting them since s2. Just looming overhead ready to take one of them. Almost happened in 5x12 too. Anyways does my heart good he sides with Lucy in this matter. This is Tim’s mess to fix and no one else’s.

Lucy meets up with Celina and asks if she’s ok with this? Ever the amazing empath our girl. Celina looks psyched as hell to have Lucy. How could she not be? Wealth of knowledge to give her in a kind but commanding way. Getting to see Lucy show off her leadership skills is making me giddy. On a solo character level was my fav part of the ep. (Clearly not counting the Chenford stuff)

Her leadership style is right there with mine. Where I am 90 percent Tim her being a T.O. Is all me. Her style is pretty damn identical to mine. Telling her she wants to ‘Invest in her success.’ Is me all damn day. Thats all I ever wanted for my team. For them to see I was investing in them and there to make them better. It’s cute how excited Celina is for this. Hell of an upgrade from the bumbling bone head she usually has.

The Aaron and Tim show begins and I’m here for it. I’ve always enjoyed their dynamic. Aaron pushing Tim a little more than most would. We know Lucy has softened him to the point where he doesn’t kill Aaron. ha Asking why he has to be the one to be in uniform and not Tim? Lmao Because you are the rookie dearest haha These two are goobers together and I love it sfm. You can tell he is dying to ask Tim if he is struggling right now. Because he went from QB to water-boy for Metro.

Like I said earlier it’s really starting to hit Tim the relationships he fractured. The regret is coming at him from all sides in this one. First Lucy and now this. Aaron can’t help it and asks anyway even though he shouldn’t. Tim gives him the company line of course. Pulling some S1 Tim out in this van. Telling him he does what he’s told without complaint. Ok babe yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s not upsetting you….

He went from running this entire team. Making calls on the fly to this. Boring grunt work. Tim bounces back with his sassy comment about his deodorant. I’m cackling because Aaron’s reaction is so damn funny. He gets so distracted by this he doesn’t write anything down. Tim’s face when he asks why isn’t documenting this is so funny. The most Aaron thing he could do. Be derailed by Tim's comment and not pay attention. Oh I will miss you Aaron Thorsen.

I am enjoying Lucy’s teaching so much. Partly because it reflects how I teach. She corrects without crushing her confidence. She also does it afterwards as not to ding her confidence in the moment. Exact reflection of what I used to do for my work kids. Lucy is kind but confident in her correction. Doing it in the moment so it sticks, but waiting till after they’re done for her to properly receive it. Celina receives it well because even though it’s one she is told in a kind manner. I just love it sfm.

The other reason I love it is because Lucy is out here crushing it. Zero T.O. Training but picking it up like she’s been doing it for years. She is going off instinct and what she would’ve wanted as a rookie. I had zero training when I was told to train new hires as a manager. So I went based off my experience and what I would’ve loved to know when I was new. So her tactics are very similar to me and makes me happy to see it.

Already light years ahead of Nolan it’s insane. Tim would be so proud of her if he could see it. We all know how seriously he takes training new officers. The sacred duty that it is and needs to be treated as such. Lucy is doing all that and more. Feels like more foreshadowing for her to become one in s7. Would crack me up if she got one of the new ones and Tim got the other. They could compare and contrast their leaderships styles. See who does better. But I’m daydreaming with that ha

Tim’s phone goes off again. Reminding him once again Lucy’s birthday is tomorrow. Tim is hit with a double gut punch in this moment. First grunt work for Metro then Lucy loss as the second one. Aaron noting he must’ve set it quite a few times... Which is heart breaking to think of in this moment. It is sweet he set it up so many times so he wouldn’t forget it. I think pre-breakup Tim didn’t want to lose track of this important day.

Also my guess is he wanted to make a big deal of it too. Their days are unpredictable so makes sense he would set so many. That’s pure conjecture on my part. But watching him through out their relationship this lines up. Seeing how he doted on her and brought her thoughtful gifts. He was most definitely going to do that. Like I said earlier this ep is starting to reflect the cracks in his foundation.

His facade of pretending to be okay after their breakup is starting to fade. The fact that he says ‘Girl you broke up with.’ Not his ex is speaking volumes to me. It’s starting to dawn on him truly what he’s lost and done. Because you would say ex if it was something to move on from. The regret is starting to seep in and breaks my heart to watch it. But also it’s good to see him feeling it. Now that’s he’s regulated and going to therapy, his clarity on what he’s done is coming up for air. It’s weighing on him, and we can see that clearly in this scene.

This next part really gets me in the feels. Tim asks if he got her anything? Being vulnerable for the first time in their convo. Look at that puppy in the first couple gifs. Aaron tells him yes. A spa day at the Four Seasons. It’s the smile here that gets me. Even thinking about Lucy brings about that smile of his. The one that only comes up around her or about her. He knows exactly how much his girl is gonna love that. Enjoy it. Also thinking how much she deserves such a gift.

The smile has me reeling. He just loves her so much. He can’t help but do that in love smile when he thinks about her. *screams into a pillow* Then his smile ends with sadness. Eric be killing me for a 4th ep in a row. We watch the smile tail off with a tinge of sadness. Because he’s not going to see how happy that gift makes her. How she would’ve dragged him along with her most likely. It’s really hitting him he’s lost her. Lost access to that part of her life now.

The happiness to heartbreak in that smile is masterful on Eric’s part. Just look at him in that last gif. I was feeling all that from his smile. It’s subtle but impactful as hell. Eric and Melissa’s speciality at breaking our hearts. Especially this season. His reaction is screaming how much he still loves her. Carrying the burden of what he’s done is becoming more and more evident. Mourning the loss of what he hastily threw away. Hurts so good. Maybe they’ll be together by her next bday and he can make up for it. A girl can dream right?

The boys share a nice moment and I love it. Aaron pushes it with his final question though. You can see him drawing up the courage to ask Tim. Wanting to know what everyone wants to know. Why they split up? Tim’s reply cracking me up. He is as sharp and curt as can be. No more emotion left in his tone. ‘No’ LMAO Vulnerable Tim is gone now. Took it too far Aaron...

The balls on you sir to ask that my god. Lucy doesn’t even know why. You sure as hell aren’t going to get that answer…Honestly you’re lucky you got Tim as vulnerable as you did good sir. But gotta love him trying and failing super hard. Makes a bittersweet scene end on a funny note that made me chuckle.

This scene with Mad Dog hurts my heart. Tim is facing the repercussions of his actions so hard in this episode. From both barrels of Metro and Lucy. It’s good for him to feel and see what he’s done. That doesn’t mean it does hurt me to watch it. I’m still protective of him even though it’s what he needs to see and experience...

My worry was something like this happening. Working with Metro was going to reopen a wound that’s hasn't even begun to heal. We know what happens with M.D. later. So, a part of this is projection is because he knows he’s walking his guys into a trap somewhat. Worried Tim is going to find him out through his OP plan. That being said doesn’t make it easier to watch him dismantle Tim.

I will say it is yummy to see him in street clothes and jeans. That badge prominently on his hip. Mmmm gimme. Wouldn’t be me if I didn’t gawk at him a little would it? Also haven’t done it in a minute due to the non stop heartbreak since 6x05.

The OP goes sideways in the worst way. They’re ambushed and his guys end up in the hospital. Nash is in surgery due to the explosion. Tim comes to see Mad Dog and it feels all kinds of off. He’s expecting Tim to flog him for what he’s done. That his OP lead his men into danger. Almost as if he wants Tim to reprimand me for what he’s done. But he’s in the dark to what’s going on so Tim can’t possibly do as such.

Tim’s cop gut is kicking into high gear during this scene though. Between M.D. acting completely different post OP and his reaction to Blair appearing. Tim questioning how in the hell she even knew about this? She comes up with a pretty slick answer that pacifies Tim for now. But it’s seeing Mad Dogs reaction that has his red flag going up.

He can barely look at Blair in the eye. Tim noticing and bringing it up. M.D. plays it off as being tired. That he doesn’t want to talk about his feelings right now. Tells Tim they shot him full of painkillers. He’s gonna shut down for awhile. Tim understands and doesn’t linger. I remember knowing at this point she was dirty. But could also see the internal struggle going on inside her. Which intrigued me to why she was dirty in the first place? All things to come in later eps...

Now comes the best part of the entire episode. One that we all still think about. How could we not? Eric and Melissa were once again surprised how much we loved this scene. What’s not love? What's not lose our minds over? Return of Kojo, the song that is utter perfection, and the fact that Tim reached out through him to say Happy Birthday. Makes me teary just thinking about it. I'll never be over this scene. How it felt like a true start to healing our shipper hearts. Because they've been in ROUGH shape for awhile.

We all needed this moment. After such utter heartbreak and turmoil the last 3 episodes. This was like coming up for air for the first time to truly breathe. Melissa killing us right off the bat. Her face was all of us in this moment. The way she lights up when she sees Kojo. Their cute fur-baby just sitting in the hallway with a card in his mouth. I’m not crying you are... Also makes me giggle a little thinking how Tim had to run from the door after he knocked. To make sure only Kojo was there. It's the sweetest thing. *happy sigh*

Killing me softly with how she pets him. Asking how he is. Telling him she misses him. Just like Tim in the van her smile morphs. It goes from happiness to sadness. Because Kojo is an extension of Tim. Her saying she misses him is having a double meaning here. Despite all the hurt Tim caused her she misses him so much.

It’s reflected in how she is loving on Kojo. Her words have an extra meaning to them. Of course she misses her fur-baby. But she also misses her person. A piece of her heart is missing with him gone. This scene has me teary from beginning to end. We missed this good boy so much. Such a tearjerker of a moment when she reunites with him.

When Kojo takes off back to Tim it’s like watching a part of her heart go along with it. Knowing where he is running back to. The ache in her heart that is still there. She knows he’s in that hallway. It's bittersweet because even broken up she brings the best out in Tim. This wonderful gesture is due to how he’s grown because of her. If you weren't crying in this moment you're dead inside lol I'm sorry.

Tim wrecks me with how he’s looking toward that same hallway. He can only imagine what her reaction is. Hoping it's a good one. That what he's done here is having a positive effect on her. It is. What a way to bring this sweet boy back in. They really killed it with this scene. I love Tim keeping his distance. Respecting her space in this moment. But knowing he couldn’t let her b-day go without acknowledging it. This was the best way to do it.

Also the fact that this is happening in that hallway. One that represents so many seminal moments for them. I just wanna sob at the beautiful symbolism of this. You can see the regret building on Tim’s face once again. The distance he can feel between them. It's like he’s finally grasping what he’s done. The regrets he feels starting to truly mount in this moment.

Melissa’s reactions after Kojo leaves are absolutely killing me. The tears in her eyes as she picks up the card. Evoking so much emotion out of me just watching her. This is where the lyrics had me bawling. Because it so perfectly represents Lucy in this moment.

"When the sun won't shine and the words don't rhyme And there's mountains you can't move.

Something's on your mind And it's been some time since you felt like you were you.

When it all caves in, feeling paper thin And the pain might cut right through. "

This has been Lucy since the end of 6x06. Hell it was the fandom. The sun has not shined since that day for her. She hasn’t felt like herself in what feels like eons. Her pain feeling so very paper thin. The smallest thing cutting right though her. What happened between them rocked Lucy to her very core. She’s still sitting in the pain of it all. Him giving up on them so easily is haunting her. Probably wondering if he loved her as much as she loved him? Those intrusive thoughts running on an endless loop in her brain since it happened.

“When you feeling like you ain't got a friend, And you wondering' if you ever gonna' smile again. Every little things gonna be okay.” This one getting me in the feels as well. Another perfect reflection of how Lucy is feeling. I know what it’s like to feel this way. Alone in your pain. Wondering if you’re ever gonna smile again. Be happy. It seems so far off. These lyrics were so perfectly poignant. They were very intentional in using this song. As much as these lyrics made me cry they also filled me with hope and comfort. Particularly the line in that last lyric. That everything is going to be ok. If you haven’t downloaded this song. I highly it recommend it. 'Lift Up Your Head. by Esabalu'

What makes the rest of this moment so beautiful are the following gifs. Lucy opening that card and seeing what Tim has done for her. This is also the first time we’ve seen Lucy cry about them. And it hurts like hell to watch. Like I said she’s been sitting in this pain. Wondering if this relationship meant more to her than it did Tim. Then he does this. Acknowledges her birthday in the perfect way. It does a couple things. One it shows he wanted to make sure this day didn’t pass without him acknowledging it. That’s he’s thinking about her.

Two it shows Lucy he stills cares about her. The gift in itself shows the level of care. He’s reaching out to her without physically doing so. I mean the effort he put into this is immense. He was so creative and thoughtful. Having it come from Kojo and not himself. Executing the perfect delivery on-top of it as well. The way she touches the paw print has me bawling. Just mopping up my tears at this point. Knowing what this card meant. What it represented. Lucy no doubt has been torturing herself still about why it ended.

How he didn’t care for her the way she did for him. She really needed this. Because it shows it has nothing to do with Tim's feelings for her. You don’t put this kind of effort in if you don’t still love someone. Her reaction is the second gif screams that. Lucy still doesn’t understand why. But she can rest little easier knowing it wasn’t about his feelings for her. This shows her he still cares deeply for her. Man owes her a conversation still but this was a beautiful start towards that. Towards healing.

Tim’s face KILLS me. I think the writers intentionally wrote him to come off as if he wasn’t as affected. That this breakup wasn’t killing Tim. When it absolutely was. He needed time to regulate and some therapy to get here. Also it makes this scene hit a little harder doesn’t it? That man’s face above is one of absolute regret. It’s truly hitting him what he’s done to her. Eric once again murdering my feels. They both are.

You can see the myriad of emotions splayed across his beautiful face. It’s here he’s finally grasping what he’s thrown away. Knowing he should be there right now. Celebrating her birthday along side her. That bath bomb she mentions earlier in the scene should be been shared together. This hurts so good. I commend them for the buildup to this moment. We needed that episode previous to get to this point.

For Tim to finally feel the regrets raining down on him right now. That is the face of a man who knows he ruined everything. Fucked up a perfectly wonderful relationship. Destroyed his happiness and hers. Hurt his favorite person in the process of his spiral. It's killing him he can’t be there for her like he used to be. Shut that door when he tossed them away. As much as this moment hurts it's huge step towards reconciliation. Tim coming to the realization of how he’s hurt her and the regret he feels due to it.

Also only Eric and Melissa could have SO MUCH chemistry and not even been in the same room. These final two gifs say it all in that regard my god. You can feel the anguish and emotion between them. Just emanating from them and to each other. I love our ship. I love the actors we are blessed to have portray them. Look at our beautiful babies above. Their on screen chemistry leaves me in awe of them. They aren't even sharing the same space and are exuding chemistry. These final lyrics of this song left me with so much hope.

“All these troubles only gonna last for a while

Yeah, we're gonna be alright, oh, child, lift up your head (yeah, the light, yeah, the light's gonna find you)

And the light's gonna find you”

These troubles are only gonna last for awhile fandom. This season felt like an eternity of pain after 6x05 but we’re gonna be alright. S7 is gonna be that light I just know it. Gonna be worth all this pain and heartache. When we're on the other side of it gonna be so much better. We are so lucky are babies get to be front and center and get these growth SL's. Have depth like they do. I'll take that over blah puddle deep Balian any day. S6 hurt so much. But this too shall pass it'll pass like a kidney stone but it'll pass for us.

Our beautiful moment is interrupted by a text from Mad Dog. He’s asking Tim to come find him to talk. They’re on a roof and that immediately made me nervous. Mad Dog tells Tim one of their guys Nash is paralyzed… I mean this adds to M.D's guilt. To why he ends up killing himself later in this scene. Tim tries to comfort him and let him know it could be temporary. This is where his confession starts. Saying it wasn’t supposed to go down like it did. It never does when you dirty like that…Tim asks him if he compromised the OP?

Tim is in absolute shock as he asks this of his former brother in arms. This is a hard scene to watch. Tim is seeing a man he used to trust his life with be revealed as dirty. That he was compromised. What a gut punch for him. I know Tim struggles with his mistakes still. But the difference being is his were always with the best intentions. He may not see that yet but his honor was always intact with them. His good intentions still present. Tim asked who he told? We all know at this point even Tim does but he needs confirmation. M.D. replies he can’t tell him. She knows all his secrets….Ugh.

Then he kills himself. Last thing this poor man needed was to see this. I do think it’s an interesting parallel to Tim. Why you ask? This could’ve been Tim if had ZERO honor. Zero integrity and moral compass. Had no one there to help support him. What he sees with his mistakes as being un-honorable was never this. M.D. is a person without the fortitude Tim has. It’s why he was turned and can’t live with himself after. I hate it being Dr. London I really do. But if not for her sessions how he reacts after this could’ve been so much worse than it was. His face when he looks over the edge is a knife to my heart...

Thank you once again to you all for reading, liking, commenting (Keep em coming I love them.) and reblogging these reviews. They mean the world to me. I shall see you all in 6x09 :)

Side notes-Non Chenford

Blair being crooked SUCKS. No two ways about it. I fought the idea so hard when the season was happening. Not because I liked her but because of Tim and Aaron too of course. But at this point it was for Tim. He had been vulnerable with her. Started therapy because of her and I was really worried that would be tainted.

Nothing really other than that just Nolan and he doesn't matter lol

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday Fandom :) We got a trailer! Some bits in is for our couple not a ton but I am intrigued what S6 will bring. This episode has me grinning the entire time. Just fluffy cuteness the entire time and I was so here for it. Kid talks and amazing moments. Good one. This ep Is comedy gold.

5x17 The Enemy Within.

That theme I talked about last ep is how we start off. How adorable they are when they find each other at the station. Lucy speed walking to catch up to him. Tim with the biggest smile on his face. Like he didn’t just see her in roll call earlier. *heart clutch* Just happy to see his wifey at work. I love the effect this woman has on him. (Another theme in this ep). I just love S5 Tim in general. Happy and light seeing her come up to him. Making his day with her presence. Damnit I love them so much. Lucy starting off with him not hating her LMAO His smile dropping off asking what she’s done? Haha

Be more married you too my goodness. I do love how quickly they fall into step with each other as they speak. Seriously never had a couple with such good physical chemistry without even touching. The flirting here is amazing. We watch Tim not really be mad and fighting back a smile in the second gif. Once again the effect this woman has on him is incredible. She is beyond adorable with her retort of how he should reply. We all know Tim could never hate her. Angry, exasperated or annoyed. Yes ha But never hate.

We find out Lucy was playing the long game for getting back at Tim for something. Clearly before they were together since it was for a Tim Test few months back. He wants to know which one? She can't remember...It was bad enough to make her do this but not enough to remember which test. Oh Lucy. lol Angered her enough to do this then forget she'd done it ha Tim asks once again 'What did she do?' Lucy lets him know she signed him up to be a mentor... For make a dream.... Tim is exasperated af asking when she planned this? Lucy dreads the answer but tells him today….

Lucy goes on that a 12 year old cancer patient named Jordy is on his way. Tim walks away from her and I LOVE her grabbing his arm. Making him stay put. Tries to put a good spin on it. Saying he would be lifting up a sick kid. What could be more important than that? Tim commends her for her answer. Telling her nice job boxing him in. Except he’s not going to let her get away with this. Did she really expect him to do this solo? LOL Sassy Tim has arrived and is throwing back her own words at her. Lucy doesn't have a leg to stand on. Just concedes and joins him. Fantastic start to a hilarious episode for them.

Jordy arrives and Tim and Lucy couldn’t be cuter. The way they look at each other is precious. Also hello height difference I always welcome you to our screen. The way Lucy is looking at Tim while he talks to Jordy. Like she needed another reason to be in love with him. Getting glimpses into Tim as a dad. That instant ovary explosion. Don’t blame her one bit.

Tim couldn’t be cuter saying he heard he wants to be a cop. Jordy doesn’t seem as enthused as Tim and Lucy. Nonetheless Tim looks super cute saying they’re going to take him to processing. Lucy’s fully bodied shimmy is so adorable I cannot. She is very excited to play parents with Tim.

They’re in processing and Lucy is trying to get Jordy to engage. Tim isn’t short on sarcasm in this episode. I’m dying it’s so funny. Telling him to look miserable LMFAO. Lucy’s face. Chiding her husband a little bit. But also realizing how unhappy this kid is. Love her walking up to him and sharing her worries as well. Tim noting he looks like he hates them. Lol Lucy doesn’t disagree….Saying maybe he hates his picture being taken? Or he’s miserable cause he’s tired from being sick?

Tim says they should just move onto the next thing then. They turn around and Jordy is gone. Had this kid for all of 20 minutes and they lost him already LOL This episode is so great. Had me rolling the entire time. I remember seeing a hilarious post after this premiered. Celina dealing with her sisters murder, Angela/Harper/Grey dealing with Elijah. And Tim and Lucy keep losing the same kid LMAO They are the comedic relief in this one for sure.

Lucy is in a legit panic. It’s so funny. Saying she doesn’t know what she’s going to tell the foundation. Full on sarcasm saying she can’t wait to tell them they lost him. LOL Tim is so calm and chill. Saying they didn’t lose him... he’s just misplaced LMFAO. Oh my lord Timothy I’m crying I’m laughing so much. She is being the worried sick parent and he’s being the calm one.

I love them looking for Jordy whilst also talking about their future kids. Getting me all in my damn feels. Tim being so friggin chill about them finding him. Lucy saying when it’s ’OUR’ kids OUR. They’re so casual about it. I’m losing my damn mind. That when it is their kids he better take it seriously. Tim defending their future kids also making me feel things. Saying ‘Our’ kids would never pull a stunt like this.

Look at Lucy’s face when he makes that remark though. She is beaming watching him talk about their future kids. They’re trying to murder me in this ep and I’m very ok with it. I may need to go lie down but I’m ok haha Lucy gets caught up in the thought of them having kids. And is pulled back to the present with Tim’s sassy departure LOL Saying they’re doing great so far. Sarcasm king in this one and I love it so very much. Lucy's face when he leaves too funny.

They run into Aaron and he has Jordy. Lucy looks so relieved. She asks what they talked about? Aaron says he kept asking him what his childhood pet was. Lucy looking confused as hell asks why? We see this kid stumble and get nervous for first time. Saying it’s for a report…Tim's face smelling BS but he isn't sure why. They’re trying figure what to do next. Tim suggests the war room? He doesn’t seem excited…Lucy mentions K-9 unit. Ask if he likes dogs?

Tim is over this kid. Saying what kid doesn’t like dogs? (I mean he’s not wrong…) Lucy scolding him like only she can. Such a wifey scolding too it’s so funny. Tim makes the kid sit while they figure this out. Lucy says maybe the impound lot? This is where Uncle Tim comes in and I love it so much. Talking about his nephews and what they’re into right now. My heart. He seems very confused on what it actually is they like and it’s hysterical. Pop culture never been his strong suit and I love him for it. I'll be honest idk what ghosts on the toilet is either. LOL

Lucy is enjoying his explaining this stuff. Amused really. You can tell she’s cracking up as he goes on. Picturing him with his nephews and loving that mental image. They're so busy flirty they don’t see Jordy take off on them again. They turn around and he’s gone….They lost the kid again LMAO Back to being worried parents. They ask the most clueless guy in the building if he’s seen Jordy? Ha Of course he hasn’t…Nolan is lucky he knows what's going on in his own SL.

They’re in Sally Port looking for Jordy. Legit looking under shops. Don’t hate the shot of Tim in this scene. Hello booty shot. His phone starts going off and he groans as he comes back up and says it’s a Grey. Lucy voices her irrational fear about Grey knowing they lost him twice. I’m rolling. Why would he know that Lucy? LOL Tim’s face is everything to this comment of hers. Loves his panicked wife and her ridiculousness.

Lucy is legit pacing back and forth while Tim is on the phone. Grey is asking him to run an OP for him. The last thing Tim needs on his plate right now. It is sexy how he coordinates it and says he’ll fold in later. Mmm. Then asks Lucy if she’s enjoying her revenge for his Tim Test? Lucy says she isn’t... Does a cute little love tap on his arm and has him follow. I love it.

They find Jordy at a computer. Tim scares him and asks what the hell he’s doing? I love the in-sync head tilts. They see he is googling how to delete traffic tickets. Lucy goes off on a nerd rant about how those are processed in a different office. She catches herself and looks at Tim. He’s so used to her nerdy ways at this point doesn't phase him in the least.

Just backs what she’s saying. That even if he could do that here it’s a crime to do so. Poor kid folds. Says his dad told him to because they couldn’t afford the fines. Tim asks if he really has cancer? Lucy scolds him once again. I love this. He tells them yes that part is true. Lucy asks if he wants to be a cop? He says no they’re wack. Lmao The way the look at each other I cannot. The kid wanted a football game not this. HA

Tim mentions if he’s googling this no way he’s a a hacker. Asks how he gained access to the computer? Jordy hands him the sticky note. Tim is so damn incensed I’m dying. Lucy asking did Smitty really need a sticky note? He couldn’t just remember this? I love the way Tim snatches the note and takes off. He is so very done with this day and this kid. Smitty's incompetence being the icing on the cake of his day. This episode is comedy gold I love it sfm.

They bring Jordy’s father in. Telling him they could charge Jordy with a crime. That he had illegal access to a police computer. The dad starts to panic and says they can’t do that. He’s just a kid. He has cancer. Lucy says no one wants to charge Jordy. Him on the other hand… Mr. Yates starts to freak out more. Saying it was just couple tickets. Lucy mentions it’s 37....

Holy crap dude that’s a lot of tickets. That him using his son. A minor no less to help out makes it a felony. One that could send him to jail. The dad pleads with them. Saying his medical costs are crushing them. That if he doesn’t pay for the tickets he’ll lose his license and car. Saying he knows he messed up. He can’t go to jail his family needs him.

Then we hit one of my favorite portions of this episode. Their silent communication has always been a glorious wonder. It hits new heights in this scene. Because the minute he looks at his girl he knows what that look means. It’s why he answers with a ‘Lucy really?’ He goes from you can’t be serious. To how am I supposed to say no to that? Lucy doesn’t have to say a damn word.

That’s the beauty of their connection. Says everything she needs to in that puppy dog look. Man is whipped and we all love it. Her empathy shining through and getting to Tim in this moment. I said it couple times in this episode. The effect this woman has on him is immense. It was continuously through out this one. In the best way possible.

That man has zero defense against that look she gives him. Absolutely zero. Can you imagine a little version of Lucy doing this to him? If they end up having a daughter. She’s gonna have this man wrapped around her finger. Just like his wife does. God help him haha All Lucy had to do was give him that glance and he was in shambles. As we all know Tim would do anything for that woman standing next to him.

He came into this conversation ready to put that man in jail. But then the love of his life looks his way and it’s over. I’ll never be over how amazing their silent communication is. We are so lucky to have a couple this amazing without even saying a word. There’s that country song ‘You say it best. When you say nothing at all.’ If that ain’t them. Tim folds and says he’s not sending Mr. Yates to jail. I love how he looks at Lucy before he tells him that. Knowing she is the reason behind him is doing this.

It’s so good. Man is so soft for his girl and this scene is proof of that. Ugh I love it. Melissa’s and Eric crushing it per usual. Tim says he can go to Daddy and me Traffic school. There’s an arcade that Jordy will love it. As if Lucy needed another reason to love this man next to her. Mr. Yates asks how he can make it up to them? ‘Be a better father to your son’. Hot damn you tell him Tim.*fans self* Mmm. Yum. Got to be soft but still little authoritative at the end. I’ll take it.

We rejoin them in the station. Tim done with his OP for Grey. Lucy coming over mentioning his how Daddy and me traffic school sounds fun. Tim replying 'Yeah Jordy will get 5 dollars in tokens too.' Lucy letting him know it was a really nice gesture. I love her coming up to him and letting him know this. Making sure he knows what a wonderful thing he did for them. That it was so sweet. This scene makes me squee for so many reasons.

Tim letting her know he wanted to throw that guy in jail. You could tell when he entered that room he was ready to throw down. It wasn't sitting well with him Yates putting his son in a position like that. Lucy replying ‘But?’ Tim bestowing the best compliment he could on her. Touching on the theme of this episode I think. The fact she’s a good influence on him. I mean it exudes out of him now a days. She already was before they got together. Now it’s increased ten fold the effect Lucy has on him.

Lucy and her view of the world. A thing that used to drive him absolutely bonkers. So much so he tried to show her the underbelly of L.A. to dampen it. That same light and view has now rubbed off on this man. Soaking him in that sunshine she gives off. I can’t with how many feels this is giving me. And he’s telling her as such. He’s known for a long long time what a good influence she is. But he’s telling her in person. With heart eyes galore to boot. Such love and admiration on his face for her. *internally screaming*

Naturally he complimented her so she needs to do one right back. Telling him with just as much adoration and affection might I add. That he’s going to be a great dad someday. We know that’s true. Also we know Lucy is already picturing him as that great father to their kiddos. I just love how causally they talk about their future kids. It’s a thing that’s just an eventuality. The level of comfortability around the topic just shows us where they're at. How serious they both are.

Tim needing to tease her now that they’ve been soft. It’s so damn funny. Look at his pleased smile when he does it. Look at that man in the final gif. Could power a city with that smile. He so loves to tease her. Lucy is exasperated with him but still smiling regardless. She loves this infuriating man in front of her so much.

They couldn’t be happier or more adorable. It blows my mind still we get to have them together. Not only that but this level of ship goodness. Straight flirting, complimenting and teasing. They’re so in love I might pass out from all my feelings haha Such a good ep for them.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

I do love Angela getting to be the one to take Elijah out. So fitting. Also that scene with Charlie and Wes holy hell.

Thank you to all you amazing readers. For all the likes, comments and reblogs. We only have 5 left episodes in this season. Unreal. Shall see you all in 5x18 :)

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello lovely fandom ❤️ I wanted to post when I was going to start on my S6 reviews. I said Mid July and realized I didn’t give a date LOL My plan to start the week of the 22nd. I haven’t decided a day yet but it’ll start that week. Needed some time to decompress after that whirlwind of a season.

Hopefully everyone feels settled enough emotionally to start this journey with me 😊 Sadly with the extended hiatus it’s not gonna get us to the premiere like before. Had we gotten a Sept premiere would’ve been perfect but they ruined my plans with this 18 eps/Jan start nonsense lol Anyways hope to see all my readers there when I start on 6x01. :)

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Saturday lovely fandom. We’ve reached the seminal episode of their secret dating period. This ep doesn’t need much of an intro. Just lots of goodies and an ending that still makes me blush... I fit everything I could gif wise ha Let’s get started.

5x12 Death Notice

We start off with Lucy and Tamara and I’m so glad we do. This scene is perfection. Tamara is testing the waters with her. Saying she was surprised Lucy was here....I have a feeling Lucy been out a ton since she started dating Tim. Love this. Tamara giving her crap saying she stayed up till 1am and she wasn’t here. Lucy trying to brush it off saying they must missed each other that’s all. That trivia ran late for her. Tamara can’t do it anymore. Calling her pseudo mom’s bluff. Straight up telling her she saw Tim drop her off. HA I wonder what she saw? Must’ve seen her kiss him good night.

Which makes me all giddy inside. Lucy gets so excited and drops her bag. Exclaiming 'Thank god.' Telling her she’s so sick of cover stories. Tamara asking why they’re being so secretive? Lucy explaining they’re figuring things out. I love Tamara being a facilitator for them. Saying she can do whatever they need for alone time. Lucy tells her they’re not sleeping together. It’s the way the music stops in this scene that kills me after she says this. Tamara is then the fandom and says ‘Why not?’ Lucy tells her they’re taking it slow. They want to do this right.

Tamara follow ups are perfect. Asking her if she’s not sure how she feels? Lucy saying she knows exactly how she feels. ‘The most amazing relationship she’s been in since ever. ’my heart. Tamara’s questions her again and says ‘ So....You’re waiting why?’ Haha Tamara is out here trying to get Lucy laid LOL I love it sfm. I think Lucy knew once they started they wouldn’t stop. Kinda like the Pringles slogan. ‘Once you pop you can’t stop.’ Heh Once they started she knew they wouldn’t be stopping...

Lucy finds Tim immediately at work after her convo with Tamara. Gah these two could not be more obvious in their stupid happy smiles. Sure no one has seen Tim smile like he does with her. What happens when you're properly loved. I love the way Lucy gravitates towards him when she finds him. How he instantly gets as close to her as possible. Nary an inch between them. Smooth you two. They are radiating sunshine and happiness and they haven’t even slept together yet. That’s how well it’s going for them and I’m dying with glee.

I could write an entire essay on how much I love the secret handholding/touching portion of this scene. It was a must to get a really good gif of this. Lucy’s finger touching him as they walk. Because she can’t help herself. Has to be in constant contact with him. Moth to flame. Tim returning the favor with tapping his fingers on her thigh. The most telling smile on his face as he does this. Such small gesture between them is sending into a squee spiral haha

Tim feeling cheeky as he taps on her thigh. Not only taps it but does it TWICE. He did it twice everyone. It was double tap. One wasn't enough for him. *squee* The man loves her thighs and we love him for it. Saw a post said ‘When you’re at work and wanna hold hands. But you’re at work.’ Ha These sneaky little touches sent me into a damn tizzy. We're two minutes into this episode and they're already killing me. Lucy tells him 'Tonight is the night.' Clearly her talk with Tamara bearing some good fruit for Tim LOL She is ready to go after that convo.

Tim tries to contain his excitement when she tells him it’s go time. Asking her his place or hers? Jealous dog or nosy roommate? ha. This brings up Tamara and her knowing about them. Tim isn’t mad so much as shocked she told her. Lucy having the best reply. ‘She has eyes.’ LMFAO So does everyone else in their world….The world worst kept secret these two my god. I mean it's not like you guys are all that subtle my love. Lucy cheers him up saying she’ll be at a friends tonight though….Tim perking right back up. Looking at the smile on that man above. He is very excited about tonight being the night.

Grey interrupts the heart eye nation they have going on. They jump a little ha Forgetting they're at friggin work. They were being all happy and cute as Grey walks up. The man knew already but seeing them like this? All flirty, smiley and happy. It was all the confirmation he needed. He asks them to ride together today. Aaron is going to be with Harper. This time not a peep out of them unlike in 5x08. Another telling sign tbh… Lucy mentions this is going to be awkward.

Tim being Tim saying it’s fine. They’ve done this hundreds of times together. It’s not big deal. Lucy tells him yes but never as a couple though. Tim once again not seeing the problem she so obviously sees. Saying on the streets they won’t be. Ok babe… You weren’t great about hiding your feelings when you weren't together. But sure not that you’re together that wouldn't be amplified at all... I love Lucy opening the door for him. Then teasing him in the most flirtatious way. Asking if he won’t be thinking about tonight at all?

A night I’m sure he’s thought about a million times since they got together. (If not a little bit before too) Being flirty right back saying ‘Not at all..’ idk what I love more Lucy checking out his fine ass Or Tim saying thank you to her opening the door. Ok well obviously it’s Lucy blatantly checking him out. Shooting back ‘ Me neither.’ Ha sure... Not that I blame her. I mean my god look at him. Tight jeans a a henley? You check him out Lucy. Mmm. Although I do love him saying 'Thank you' for her opening the door it's adorable LOL It’s a close second. Heh

We join them getting their shop ready for the day. Lucy saying she could fein food poisoning. Tim seems offended by this idea. Saying she would do that just to get out riding with him? Lucy says yeah with no regrets. Ha Wanting to avoid the weirdness of them having to ride together Tim telling her she’s overthinking this. Then says the most hysterical lie of all.

‘We leave our personal life at the door. Just like always.’ Uh when has that ever happened Timothy? Some of your most intimate and bonding moments have happened in your shop and on patrol but ok. I love Lucy calling herself his Girlfriend. be still my heart. Just out in the open like that. Tim isn't contesting this fact one bit either.

Never be over how ready she is with Tim for everything. Her commitment issues flew out the window when they got together. Makes my heart so happy it might implode. Couldn’t stand the idea with Chris after months. Few weeks with Tim and she’s all about labeling herself as his Girlfriend. Eeeeee. Tim simply says ‘Yeah.’ To her statement though. Trying not to seem phased. Oh my boy.

The absolute sass in this scene from her is glorious. Trying so hard to prove her point and Tim isn’t listening to her. Lucy does the cutest little dance with her duty belt. Seeing if he’ll notice the mistake she purposely made. He doesn’t…Sharp hard ass Tim Has left the building. Super in love puppy Tim has taken the wheel. Tim is floored she did this on purpose.

Telling her she doesn’t do Tim Tests. He does them. Lucy is on her game today and doesn’t let that hold her back. Saying it’s not a Tim Test. It’s a 'Lucy Lesson' hehe. I adore her touching his arm and saying he’s taking it easy on her. I mean he is….He just doesn’t want to see it. Doesn’t want to admit something has shifted between them. Lucy points out their dynamic has changed and they’re not even on the street yet.

I love her being so damn cheeky with him. Tim is getting antsy af tells her to just get in the car. Done with this convo now. Lucy with her sassy fully sharpened says ‘It’s a shop.’ Taking us all the back to the Pilot. Where that Tim would be appalled at this one LMFAO. The look he gives her I’m dying. Remember when one look used to send her into a tailspin? Now she owns this man in front of her. LOL Tim is so done with her antics and yet impressed with her sass at same time. No words left just points for her to get in car. heh

I love them coming back from getting coffee together. Mini date on the job. Lucy is all about the touching today. I'm here for it. Touching his arm to get him to stop. Lucy asks if he’s noticed? Tim says of course he noticed. She’s carrying her coffee in her gun hand. Forgetting all about the time he destroyed her in 2x19 over the same thing. Oh my Timothy so blinded by love my dear.

Telling her these ‘Lucy Lessons’ are pointless. Oh but they’re not and you’ll find out the hard way later… Lucy is shocked he doesn’t see how he’s treating her differently. Tim trying to pass it off as her not being a rookie anymore. She can do whatever she wants now. Mmmhmmm… Then the biggest lie of all comes out his beautiful mouth. Saying he would give Aaron the same leeway. This isn't about them.

Lying liar. It’s so cute though he’s just so in love with her and refuses to see reason about this. Just happy to get to spend a work day with his girl. Also this has been the case for years now. It’s just massively amplified cause he’s in love with her now. Lucy never has nor will she ever be just another cop to him. I adore Lucy’s ‘Mm…’ Knowing he’s full of actual crap here. Hehe

Tim and Lucy are citing our their arrest together. The guy looks through his bag and says his earrings are missing. Asking if Lucy took them? We watch Tim get defensive and looks like he wants to deck the guy. Lucy tells him she didn’t take them. Tim steps in and says they’ll call him when they find them. Basically being like back off my girl right now.

Lucy playing Tim like an absolute fiddle in this moment. Saying she didn’t take them. Tim knowing this and telling her as such. Saying these things happen. Tim ‘Rules matter’ Bradford saying 'These things happen.' Lucy not letting him give her a pass. Saying they don't happen to her. Then bringing it back to them. Telling him she’s been so focused on them and tonight. Wondering did she screw up? Tim looking as lost for words as I’ve ever seen him.

Tim is frantically checking their shop for the earrings. The man is in an absolute panic about this. Lucy is watching him as he desperately searches for these bloody earrings. Lucy tells them they’ve checked everywhere at this point. Tim refusing to give up on finding them. Lucy saying he needs to report this now. Tim won’t do it. Telling her they’re not there yet… Lucy asks how long he has?

He explains it’s up to his discretion on these things. If they find them no need for paperwork. Lucy reminds him if they don’t he will have to report her to IA. He looks gutted at the thought of that. Won’t even entertain the thought. Instead says they can see if janitorial swept them up. Oh Timothy a man of principles and contradictions for those he loves. 2x01 Tim would floored by his actions. Trying to leave info out of a report for her. Which I just love tbh.

Lucy comes home looks exhausted and slightly defeated. Tamara is in a panic and says she is almost out of there. Lucy tells her not to worry they canceled their date…Saying today revealed all the issues with dating your boss. Tamara asks if they’re gonna break up? Lucy is SO firm In her reply. Telling her 'No they’ll figure it out.' instantly. Tamara can’t help herself and asks how? Lucy isn't too sure yet. All she is sure of is they're not breaking up. That's a non starter.

Tim shows up at their door. Tamara answers and tells Lucy her 'Boyfriend is here.' hehe Tim’s face is hilarious. He's so cute hands in his pockets as he waits to be let in. Tamara smugly telling him she figured it out. Wanting Tim to be a little proud of her. He is and tells her 'He has no doubt.' when she says she would be a good detective. Lucy appears and says she thought they canceled? That is the face of a man who didn’t think they did. LOL So sassy when he says ‘Uh we didn’t.’ ha

I love the hug she greets him with. My damn heart. He fully expected to be spending time with his girl tonight. Sex or not. When they pull away Tamara is just awkwardly standing there smiling at them. Kinda like us as the fandom when we watch them have scenes haha I think she wants to hear the tea between them. Then quickly realizes they want some alone time and ducks off to her room. Oh Tamara I love you. I think she's just really excited for Lucy. Knowing this one is the real deal.

Tim tries to come up with a new excuse why they couldn’t find the earrings. Saying maybe they thought it was for a female officer. That they put them in the locker room. Lucy shoots that down instantly. Saying she already checked. That he HAS to report this now. Tim looks so damn defeated when he agrees with her. Knowing she isn’t wrong. Lucy noting that if it had been Aaron he would’ve done it already. Tim sighs deeply replying he knows. But it’s not Aaron. 'It’s YOU.' Gah getting me right in the feels Timothy. Two words meaning so very much.

Tim has it so bad for her he was completely blind to favoring her. To treating her differently. She’s the exception always has been always will be. But more so now. I love how transparent he is in this moment. Telling her exactly what’s happened. Because he gets to now. He doesn’t have to hide the fact that he cares about her anymore. Makes my heart happy. Lucy follows it up with ‘You can’t be objective when it comes to me right?’ Tim just sadly shakes his head no. I love her ‘Mm-hmm.’ Like there we go my love. You're getting it.

Then she brings it home saying 'Thus endeth the Lucy lesson.' The student has become the master ha I remember being absolutely floored by her. In awe really. What a brilliant way to bring her point home. Tim too is floored by this. Lucy is feeling pretty damn proud of herself. I love her putting her chin on her fist. Staring at him with heart eyes. So confident. Tim telling her it was impressive but evil. Lucy says she knows but he wasn’t facing the problem. Tim looking defeated again saying 'Well now he is. So what do they do?'

This next scene just shows why Lucy is his person. They say the only have two options. Break up or one of them leaves Mid-Wilshire. I love how Lucy doesn’t even contemplate a breakup. That's not on table. Just says it should be her. Tim fighting her on it saying no she she loves it here. Lucy REFUSES to let him take a demotion for her. Tim tries to fight her but she won’t let him. Flat out won’t have it. Of course she did her research on this for them.

Checking see if there another version of his job in the division. I just love them having this conversation together. So opposite of what he had with Ashley. Lucy is including him in her future. Even if that means she has to leave. If that's what they need then that’s what going to happen. Especially if she gets to keep their relationship. Gah I love this scene so much.

What a huge upgrade for Tim. To have someone willing to sacrifice for him. Not something he’s ever had or been used to. She was willing to take a leap elsewhere just for him. He’s finally in a relationship with someone who is gonna fight for him and them as a couple. Put him first. Which he also has never had. I love it so much. It's making me emotional. My damn heart. This episode it’s a friggin dream to watch.

They return to the station and Tim tells her good job today. Just handing out compliments. I adore it. She has more than earned it. Lucy reciprocates. I love her pulling the lint off his uniform. Such a wifey move honestly. It truly is such an intimate thing to do. There’s that great line from New girl from Cece. ‘Picking lint of a man’s sleeve is the most intimate gesture.’ It’s perfection. Lucy legitimately can’t keep her hands off him in this episode.

I love how Tim looks down where she’s touched him. *heart clutch* It’s the little things that get me so much. Tim makes a joke they’re not partners on the job. Her sweet little shove and his in love smile. These two gonna be the death of me in the best way. It's killing her that they won’t be seeing each other every day. They're breaking up their professional relationship for their personal one to thrive. Tim agrees and doesn't like the idea either. Says that’s even if their shifts sync up.

Lucy seems so damn saddened by this idea. She didn’t even think of that…Saying 'By doing the right thing they’re gonna see less of each other?' Tim replying probably yeah… I adore Lucy’s little whine ‘No…’ She sighs and says she will put her transfer paperwork in tomorrow. Even despite that she's still willing to do this. Tim looks devastated by how sad she is. Won’t even let her takes the kit bags. The sweet smile she gives him. Knowing exactly what this gesture means. (Wish could've fit this part in.) How far we’ve come everyone how far we’ve come.

Tim comes to see Grey. Says he needs to talk to him bout something he’s been hiding from him. Tim lets Grey know he and Lucy have been dating for a few weeks. Wade sighs and says he suspected as much. I mean we all knew the man knew. He wasn’t going to say anything until Tim was ready to. I love that. Tim letting him know they needed time to figure out their feelings. Grey assuming it’s serious then since they're having this convo. I love the zero hesitation from Tim in reply to this.

That man couldn’t be more all in if he tried. Telling Wade with serious conviction 'It is.' This woman is it for him. His endgame and he will do whatever it takes to be with her. One of my fav Chenford scenes without Lucy even being present. It’s just shows how serious Tim is about her. About them. I’m getting emotional writing this up. He so deserves a partner like her. He saw the sacrifices she was going to make for him. For them. Never had that in his life in a relationship.

So instead of letting her take the bullet for him. He dives in front of her and takes it himself. Knowing she would’ve done it for him. But he would rather be the one to take the hit for her. Gah it’s so romantic. Asking for a position at the station he doesn’t care what. She is so worth any position in his mind. Grey telling him it’s not great. Tim doesn’t care as long as it keeps him with her. He will take it. Doesn't matter what it is.

We switch to Lucy making a romantic dinner for Tim. Love this btw. Lucy is talking about which division she wants to move to. Tim tells her it’s not necessary. That he talked to Grey and she’s looking at the new 'Court Liaison Sergeant.' Lucy stops dead in her tracks stumbling on her words. Almost stunned into silence. Replying 'That’s a desk job…' Tim is beaming. 'Yeah out of your chain of command.' He is so proud of himself for this solution. So happy and willing to take a desk job for her.

Man is so in love with her. This decision is so significant on so many levels. Lucy even though immensely grateful for this solution pushes against it. Telling him he will bored out of his mind. Tim is on it though. Saying doesn’t matter to him. His objective was to stay close to her. He achieved that. Not only that but for her not to sacrifice her career for him in the process. A desk job is nothing compared to getting to be with her at work.

Gah so damn romantic. Look at our boy. Tim explaining they’ll get to see each other every day this way. Also she won’t have to travel to some far away station. Be treated like a rookie. Have to do midnight shifts because of it. He couldn't stand that fate for her. He loved her for wanting to do it for him. That was the key factor here. That she was willing to do that for him. She put him first. Meant everything.

Lucy is in awe of this man right now. That OTP line of 'Some things matter more.' Resonates so much in this season. This is also hitting on another from 5x08. Letting Lucy know without a doubt she is worth the effort for him. This man who wouldn’t leave patrol for anyone, wouldn’t uproot for Rachel to NY or walk away from being a cop for Ashley. Lucy once again being the exception. For her he would do all those things listed above and more. Hell he just did.

He walked away from patrol. Something he’s said for years he would never leave. Loved it too much. Then he fell in love with Lucy Chen and all that changed for him. His perspective shifted and she became far more important than anything else in his world. Because she became his world. This is so beautifully romantic I can’t stand it. Lucy wants to fight him some more but Tim cuts her off. Telling her it’s a done deal. There is no use in arguing about it. He’s so sure of his decision. So happy to take this bullet for them. it’s so sexy if you ask me.

It’s then the tone shifts. Lucy goes from argumentative to turned on let’s be honest. This man just sacrificed a career he absolutely loves just to stay near her. So they could see each other every day at work. She is very seductive as she leans in for a kiss. Silkily replying 'But we're so good at arguing.' I.e. foreplay for them really. Revving both their engines in this moment.

Gah I love the way she places her hand on his shoulders. Just plants one right on him. She is done talking. Done arguing. Just wants to be with him. I’ll forever love him chasing her lips for a second taste when they kiss. He does that a lot and I really love it. Always wanting more. Chasing the high that is her lips never having enough. Needing that second kiss. The way he raises himself up to full height and gets that second kiss. Replying 'I know.' *phew lord.*

That lovely height difference coming into play above. Tim being much smoother in his lines for this moment than he was in 5x10 with ‘naked time.’ Saying he is hoping they’re good at certain other things as well. Being seductive in his own right. Trying to be sly about sexy times. There was no doubt in ANYONES mind these two were gonna be glorious at it. Not one. I adore her hands moving down his chest as he talks. He is just revving her up in this moment. She can't take her eyes off him.

The way he is looking at her my god. He’s wanted this forever. They both have. But hot damn this man has man has been patient. Lucy following it up with a super smooth line of her own. Asking him if he wants to find out right now? I remember thinking is this real life? It’s the way they’re swaying and Tim’s huge ear to ear smile. Oh my lord. His smile is going to be the actual death of me. Happiness looks really good on you Tim. He is the epitome of love and happiness in this moment. That man is deliriously in love and it’s all over this beautiful face.

Lucy isn’t pulling any punches with her massive heart eyes either. Her eyes zeroing in on his glorious lips. Looking just as happy and in love as Tim. Almost a fiery look to her heart eyes in that first gif. Like she is so very ready to have her way with this man. Eager to break this slow down of their's right now. Gah then the hotness really ensues after this.

I feel like I need ice water and a spicy fic involving this moment after I watch this ahha (I highly recommend this one btw.) Lucy is unbuttoning his shirt as he leans in for a sensual kiss. Needing a head start on getting that man shirtless. It’s the forehead touch and the way that kiss heats up quickly. Also looks at the smiles on these two as he leans into kiss her breathless. *internal screaming* How gently his hand is coming up to cup her face and jaw.

His hands don't make the full journey due to Lucy's eagerness with his shirt. Ripping it off in record time. Never seen a shirt ripped off so quickly. She wasn’t messing around at this point. Her little moan as she rids him of hit. Oh my lord. Tim understood the assignment and came prepped with that shirt. Those snap buttons coming in clutch at this moment. Lucy is so ready to have this man. Years of UST coming to an end in this moment. It’s glorious. Never be over her urgency to get him out of that shirt as soon as she possibly could. I do not blame her. Lucy looking down at her handiwork when he breaks their kiss for a moment to look at him and all his glory.

I welcome shirtless Tim back to our screens. Hello biceps and deliciously toned chest. We missed you. Let's not forget the jawline we could cut glass on. Phew Lord. Also look at how effortlessly he rids himself of his sleeves. Not breaking eye contact whatsoever as he pulls himself free. *fans self* Forever love Lucy checking him out as he sheds himself of his shirt. Finally getting to and not having to hide how attracted she is to this man. Lucy is so very ready to have this beautiful man in her bed. Not hiding checking him out in the least.

Her fingers are just hanging out in front of his jeans with a tight grip. Keeping this man as close to her as possible. Fingers dancing on his insane abs that she can now enjoy and touch. Once Tim is rid of the shirt he is on her like white on rice. Lord have mercy. Encasing her face in his hands and basically devouring her with his lips. hot damn. Lucy is so giddy as he has his way with her. Look at her smile. More than willing to be at his mercy.

I love that he’s so gentle In cradling her jaw but so fiery in his kisses. I had been waiting years for this moment. Actual years ha Rookie day one girl here. Her checking him out and smiling into this hot kiss is one of the best parts. It’s almost like she can’t believe this is finally happening. She too is deliriously happy. Her hands are also encasing him once he rejoins their kiss. Gah it’s the way she has one behind his head drawing him to her. The other running up and down his beautiful back.

Tim is literally kissing the life out of her and Lucy is here for it. She is putty in his hands. Just having his way with her in this sexy make out. It’s the swaying, the touching and how he can’t keeps his hands off her face. Getting as close to her as he can in this moment. Lucy’s hands roaming up and down his back. Eventually landing on his hips. Finding purchase there. Her mission to also not let him get far from her.

Good god this scene is sexy and I love it so damn much. I still can’t believe we got it. Over a year later and this scene still has me in shambles when I watch it. That we got this heavy make out session with him shirtless. Lucy running her hands all over him like she can't get enough. She is very thirsty and he is a giant glass of ice cold water. Getting to see all the scars and such on his back was a nice bonus I have to say. Mmm. Yum.

I adore her giggling as he starts to move them towards her bedroom. She is on cloud 9 and straight up euphoric right now. The high of endorphins she’s feeling in this moment are spilling out. Coming out in excited giggles as Tim takes over. Literally pushing her against a door frame to have his way with her more. lord. Pushes her up against that wall and continues to kiss her passionately. It’s the sexy thud as their collective body weight hits the wall. His hand bracing their impact somewhat. My god.

He is so determined in his movements in this moment. What’s that song 'Wild horses couldn’t drag me away?' Nothing was keeping Tim from her in this moment. Such certainty in how he moves them towards the door frame. Lucy is holding on for dear life to his hips as moves them toward the wall. I’ll never be over his hand cushioning her head. He’s so lost in this moment but makes sure she doesn’t get hurt.

Even in this moment where they’re both lost in this passionate make out he’s her protector. Something so damn soft and adorable about this gesture. Lucy is in no frame of mind to care about her head in this moment. Lost in his lips and touch. Straight smiling to death as Tim Bradford has his way with her. Hands caught up in her hair as he kisses her as if his life depends on it. Definition of passionate embrace. Legit fireworks for them both as they continues this spicy make out.

They take a beat once they’ve reached the door frame. Making out some more against it. Tim has her firmly pressed against it. We can see he has an intense hold on her face as he continues to kiss her breathless. Lucy clinging to him like he’s a damn life raft. Moving one her hands up to the back of his head. While the other stays planted on his hip. Tim deciding it's time to move to her bed and walks them back not breaking their kiss at all. Who needs air right? Sweet lord.

It’s the cute giggles as he basically slams the door with her back. We see her curls pressed up again the door. My god. They’re about to find out how really good they are at this. Amazing her bed survives this honestly LOL I can’t count the number of times rewatched this scene including watching this time around.

Good lord that scene is most romantic and yet the sexiest scene ever at the same time. The entire episode is one beautiful thank you to the fans for waiting. Every moment building on the last till we get to this final moment. A moment where we’re all a puddle of shippy goo haha Oh my lord that was fun to write although nerve wracking considering the enormity of it. Such a damn good ep I cannot. I need some ice water any one else?

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Oscar always hilarious. Love when he comes on.

That’s it really hahah my brain gets taken over by Chenford in this one.

Forever thanks to those who read, like, moment and reblog these reviews. Makes all the effort so very worth it. I shall see you all in 5x13

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday all :) Ahhhh the intro of Metro Tim. This man does thing to me just on patrol and on street clothes. But Metro Tim? it’s a different beast. I wanna say sorry for how feral he’ll make me in this one. But I won’t be sorry really lmao Also a fantastic Lucy/Tamara Ep. So let us start :)

5x14 Death Sentence

We start off with Tim pouring himself some coffee at Lucy’s. There’s so much to love already about this. He’s spent the night, Not only that but enough to know where the coffee is and how to make it, he’s made extra for her and they’re sharing a thermos. It’s the same thermos she brings to work we've seen. It's that same one she has in 4x02. It's a small call back and I adore it it's so much. I love continuity so I’m dying of happiness ha.

The married vibes in this scene make me squee. Lucy hasn't even entered the scene yet and it's already married af. I remember being so excited they'd reached the domestic phase. I love me some hot and heavy newlywed stuff. Don't get me wrong. But something so satisfying to see them move forward towards this stage. Literally so giddy over him making her coffee. That's a good man right there. Thinking of her when she wakes up.

As we know pranking is one of their love languages. Lucy has hidden booties in the cabinet for him. Looks like the same ones she used in 4x02 haha Another call back/parallel. Loving the call backs in this season. It's fantastic. They make the continuity geek in me very happy as I mentioned earlier. He is a boot for Metro and she has to note this. Unreal we're at this place. Getting cute domestic morning scenes. My heart.

Lucy is so bummed she didn’t get a photo of his reaction. We all know how much she loves getting shots of him. No doubt she has a folder on her phone of just pics of this man. I love her morning attire btw. I adore this woman's fashion sense. Tim tells her 'It’s cute.' With all the heart eyes he can. He can actually smile and appreciate it front of her this time. Unlike in 4x02 where he held it back. Gah it’s so cute I cannot. He is at the point where he is so very smitten with her teasing. He has been for awhile but he doesn't have to pretend he doesn't love it now.

Lucy asks why he’s up so early? Tim explaining he’s the new guy. Has to load up all the gear and ammo. Lucy so giddy and cute calling him a newbie. Beaming brightly at him. I love the cute way she says ‘The Boot.’ Her whole body being adorable af as she says this. Tim isn’t even agitated by this in the least.

Just affectionately tells her he’s still a Sergeant. This man is so so soft for her. Just look at him above. He is so damn smitten with her. They're both gaga for each other. Makes me so damn giddy. Just look at these two. Domestic and heart eyes for damn days. Lucy ever the proud wife as she teases him.

The look on Lucy’s face when she says he’s still a boot in her book. That woman is so very in love with the man standing before her. Makes me so happy I can’t even stand it. Giving me all the shippy butterflies as I watch them. Just as gone for him and he is for her. Looking up at him with so much adoration. Said this expression a few times in regards to Tim. But she looks at Tim like he hung the moon and stars. I love how much she loves him. Their almost morning kiss is interrupted by their pseudo daughter walking in the door. I do love her wanting to giving him a morning smooch.

Tim makes a joke saying must’ve been at one heck of a party if she’s just getting home now. Tim and Lucy looking like concerned parents. Tamara jokes with Tim cause that’s their thing. Saying ‘Yeah rager...' Asking if she interrupted something? Tim says no he was heading out can’t be late on his first day. The married vibes reach an all time high as Tim is leaving.

Lucy being wifey af telling him he’s gonna knock 'em dead. Building her man up before he leaves for the day. *heart damn clutch* She just pumped his tires right before he leaves. Look how happy he looks from her words of encouragement. He could power the room with his smile. He looks so damn happy leaving her place. I love him smiling at Tamara too before he goes. She’s their daughter we all know it.

Tim looking at his girl one last time before closing the door. *squee* It's doing things to me. It’s unreal we got this season still. I'm still in a state of shock even a year later ha. Look at these lovely humans in love. Makes my shipper heart so happy. Just a husband looking at his wife till he can’t anymore. That shot of him with heart eyes until he shuts the door is so cute. Doesn't break eye contact till the door is shut.

Her words of encouragement the best start to his day. I cannot. Once he is gone Lucy refocuses on Tamara. All happy and high off her morning with Tim saying 'Good morning' all chipper. Tamara pretending she's annoyed when really she's so happy for her. Look at that smile when she says 'Whatever.' Such a teenager but she is so happy for her mom.

Lucy and Aaron are talking about a prototype action figure his mom wants to make. He won’t do it even though it's couple million profit. Lucy cracks me up saying she will do it. Starts posing saying she can be ‘Lucy Chen, Fist of Justice.’ Never change Lucy never change. I love you so much baha Tim walking up seeing her being an absolute dork. Used to his wife’s antics at this point though. But has to ask what she’s doing?

Lucy not phased by his judgement in the least. Just says working on her side hustle. Tim gets self conscious when she points out the paint on his head. Nawww he’s embarrassed cause he struck out in training earlier. Let’s not bypass how incredible Tim looks in shot. Arms and forearms flexed carrying that box. *fans self* All kinds of deliciousness. My god how can a black t-shirt looks so delectable on a person? Straight arm porn and I'm not mad about it.

Those toned forearms and his biceps threatening to bust out of his sleeves. Phew lord. Think they made his shirt just a little tighter than most. So I can flail and have an ovary explosion. over it. Mmm. Love to climb that man like a tree. Metro Tim is just sex on two legs walking and I’m here for it hot damn.

Lucy is cutest little human in that first gif. Just popping her head in like the adorable bean she is. Taking stock of his new office. Then she makes a little joke smiling at him. Saying well at least it won’t take long to move in LOL I love her teasing him yet being so proud of him at the same time. It’s a heady cocktail everyone and I’m little ship drunk and loving it.

Her smile is everything as she is teasing him. Tim isn't giving her much to work with. I think it's cause Aaron is there HA He shuts the door behind her and works to get settled in his new office. Also think he's a little in his head about not doing well in training at first. Poor love.

After he shuts the door he expects them to go. Idk why. He knows his wife and her antics. Like she was just gonna go after that. LOL Lucy watching her man get settled like the proud wifey she is. Look at that woman watch him get situated. To quote Chandler bing. "Could she be any prouder of him?' She is so friggin excited for him. Her whole body is vibrating just watching him make it to his desk.

Let’s not discount this great shot of his ass in those cargo pants everyone. Sweet lord. Fairly certain I've never found them attractive till they were worn by Tim Bradford. But my god he looks good in them. Doing that thing where something is simple but he turns it into something incredibly sexy just by wearing it. It's sinful to be this attractive really.

Never be over how good his biceps look in that t-shirt too. Sweet baby James man is doing things to me… Tim turns around and realizes he's in a zoo LMAO I do adore her little smile when she gives him a thumbs up. Truly proud of him and getting to where he is now. I think if Aaron wasn’t present he would’ve been softer but he was LOL Lucy is also in teasing mode with the thumps up and such. Being such a troll with Aaron right now and they both know it.

Tim does a small smirk before shutting them out. Her face when he draws the shades is hysterical. Lucy is offended by him doing this. I’m dying. Their dynamic is the best. They go from sweet and domestic cuteness in the morning. Her building him up for the day. To teasing and giving each other a hard time. God I love them sfm. We get to have both now. *happy sigh* I just love this season everyone. Damn they cute.

We join our fav ladies eating dinner together. Lucy noting she’s been working a lot of hours. That she knows she wasn’t coming from a party this morning. It was a job. Asking her what’s going on? Does she need money or something? Tamara breaking Lucy’s heart a little with her answer. Basically saying she needs to save up for an apt on her own. Lucy looks so saddened for couple reasons. One. That she thinks she has to leave now. Just decided she wasn't gonna be welcome at some point.

Two her thinking Lucy has no room for her now that Tim is around. Like she was just going to replace her with TIm. I will say this she wasn’t saving up rent when Lucy was dating the clown… Tamara knows and has known since this started Tim was her end all be all. The real deal in terms of relationships for her. Lucy telling her she doesn’t have to leave. Breaks my heart Tamara thinks she has to leave though.

We all know Tim treats Tamara like family. The puppy jokes have long since faded away. If they we're gonna get a place of their own no doubt he would expect her to join them. Her thinking there is no room for her. UGH. I wanna hug her and it’s upsetting to Lucy as well. To Lucy, Tamara is family and there is no need to feel this way. Unfortunately not how trauma damaged brains work. Her first thought is there is no longer a place for her. Which once again makes me so sad. Before Lucy can say more hubby has arrived home.

We hear his keys in the lock before he comes in. First off let me squee that he has a KEY to her place. A KEY everyone. Also that they had this family movie night planned. Tim apologizing for being late to it. I keep seeing this funny tag when I look for gifs. Says *screaming into the void.* Lmao seems fairly accurate for moments such as this. Perfectly describing how I feel.

They had a pre-planned family movie night. I’m dying. Oh Tamara there is so a place for you with them. This scene right here proves that. Tim being all cute giving Tamara a hard time about not joining. He fully expected her to join them. He is such a dad in his reply to the movie he wants to watch with his girls.

I cannot get over Tim having a pre-planned movie night with them both. This is as domestic as it gets right here. It seems so damn natural already. What I always loved about S5 post 5x10. How natural everything felt with them. Going from friends to this wonderfulness. Never felt off or forced. It just fit and worked.

I cannot express enough this is why I’m glad the slow burn was the way it was. The journey that lead us here. To get us to this place where they just fit like puzzle pieces. Tim not reading the vibe in the room just pivots. Man is too damn happy to be noticing such things right now ha He looks at his girl with relaxed joy on his face. Not upset it’ll just be them for the movie.

Asking if she wants popcorn? The amount of squeeing for this moment is unlimited haha Saw a great tag for this scene. ‘How long have they been married again?’ hehe It’s so true. Domestic af and we’re all here for it. I love him basically living there at this point. Man has a key, eats and sleeps there. Has movie nights planned. God I just love this season so damn much.

We get to see Metro Tim in first op. Lucy is there getting to watch him in all his glory. Watch him lead, be confident, assertive and have a game plan. Commanding his unit with an assertive confidence that has me fanning myself. All of this in a new tactical outfit. Yummy. Gimme.

Wouldn’t blame Lucy if she took that man home after and just had her way with him. Because my god my blood is running hot just watching him in action. Sweet lord. Plus him defending Lopez when he tells his group she will be their spotter. Fiercely defending his decision and her. Making my mouth water Timothy.

Delicious poetry in motion as he leads his team into the rescue site. Also doesn’t hurt we’re getting amazing shots of him. Look at that sexy jawline with a dusting of stubble. Mmm. The way he’s holding that gun, his biceps stretching out the words ‘Metro police.’ I might pass out everyone haha God almighty someone shouldn’t be this attractive leading a mission and yet here we are. I’m a puddle snd may need some ice water....

This finale scene with Tamara’s and Lucy is one of my favs. Tamara getting off the phone with another job. Lucy asking her if she still thinks she has to move out? Tamara being vulnerable with her. (She has grown so much too btw) Telling Lucy she doesn’t want to be a burden. Gah breaking my heart girl. Lucy immediately disperses that train of thought. Telling her she isn’t.

Knowing this ties back to her PTSD before she met Lucy. Letting her know she gets it she does. That she’s been displaced her whole life. So she understands why that’s her default. It’s a hard habit to break when you’ve felt like a burden before. I totally relate to this. Lucy sincerely telling Tamara she’s family. I mean truly she is. She has been for a long time now. Lucy then lightening the vibe a little letting her know she couldn’t get rid of Lucy if she tried. LOL

Tamara thanking her and lightening the vibe herself. Saying she will get a place of her own someday though. She doesn’t want to be around when her and Tim start having babies LMAO God I love this girl. Her sass is the actual best. Also little foreshadowing at its finest. Now I know they’re gonna have babies. For sure they are. I’m not ready just yet on the show but I am down for babies at some point.

Loving Lucy saying that’s a long way off. Not scared or frightened by that idea in any way. It’s in her future no doubt about it. Only replying not yet and my head is exploding haha The rest of this scene is pure goodness. I adore their relationship sfm. I was so excited to see Dylan on set for S6 on insta. I will always always take more Lucy/Tamara. One of my favorite pairings on the show.

Lucy noting she is a really good babysitter. They could use her for all dem babies heh. Tamara being sassy once more. Saying she couldn’t afford her rate. You are an absolute queen madam. The cute smiles that end this scene make my heart happy. Especially Tamara's. How far she has come. Such a good episode for them. I adore these two so very much. Such a good ep. I remember feeling like every ep was a gift in this season. Especially 5x08 on up. They spoiled us to death and I wasn’t mad about it haha

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Lucy spending part of the episode trying to teach Aaron how to budget is hilarious. He wants to try and live off his own money and not his parent's. His bills were obnoxious LOL This scene above is the hysterical conclusion to him trying to live on a budget. Aaron you are a treasure my love. Lucy's reaction is so damn funny.

As always thank you to those that like, comment(oh how I love me some comments) and reblog these reviews. Means the world to me. See you all in 5x15 :)

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Thur lovely fandom :) So sorry for being a day late. Kinda a miracle took this long for life to knock me off course tbh. Entering our final 3 eps of this rewatch. It’s the final Countdown ha This is a glorious episode top to bottom. This season really finishes out very strong. Let us begin.

5x20 S.T.R

We start off in the most domestic fluffy way. I was giddy af when this premiered. Took me awhile to get through this ep cause I rewound this part so much. They have this flirty dance as they prep for breakfast together. Tim checking her out as he places the pancake down. Not subtle in the least looking down at her chest. I love that he can shamelessly check her out now and does so. Lucy is soaking it in. I mean if Tim Bradford was openly checking me out I’d feel empowered too.

The confident way Lucy leans extra hard into Tim as her response. *fans self* Needing zero space between them if she can help it. She is eyeing those gorgeous lips of his as well. Doesn’t take much to ignite Tim around her. Moth to flame this man. Lucy pressing into him like she didn’t just have him this morning in the shower. Gah I love it so very much. Our horny little ship never getting enough of each other. I’m a puddle. Look at her seducing him with just her body language and gaze my goodness.

Tim’s soft reply of 'Hey.’ Smitten Kitten Tim reporting for duty. Getting what she is throwing down for him. *sigh* These idiots in love. I love them so much. Happiness once again looking so damn good on them. They’re both beaming in this scene. Look at the smiles on these two. Said it a few times. Forever love how one kiss is never enough. Doesn’t take much to get them going and wanting extra kisses. Tim pulling on her for more as he goes in for that second kiss.

Also Tim cooking breakfast for Lucy is so adorable I cannot. This is canon now and I love it. So nice she has someone to cook for her now unlike when she was with the clown. And for Tim to have someone who enjoys breakfast. Which he didn't have with Ashley. Tamara breaks up their love fest. Parting the Red Sea that is Chenford on her way to the fridge. Tim's reaction is so funny. Just throwing his hands up in the air all defeated.

At first he’s annoyed then Tamara says her line. Then he’s like she’s not wrong... LOL Oh Eric you’re the king of expressions sir. Let’s just take a second to to soak this moment in. They’re making breakfast together, can’t keep their hands off one another, his hands on her waist pulling her close, they can’t even keep it to one kiss. It’s glorious on so many levels. Not squeeing to death at all.

Lucy and Tim still gravitate toward each other despite Tamara's interruption. Lucy noting she thought she was sleeping in today? Ha Thought she had the morning to herself with Tim. Tamara explaining she was but the smell of pancakes woke her up. We see Tim perk up so excited to make her pancakes. He truly does love having her around it's adorable. Happy it was his cooking that awoke her. Such a dad excited she wants his cooking. I cannot.

He is so happy to make her some pancakes. What a man. I LOVE the way Lucy is looking at him when Tamara says she wants 3. He looks back at her and she cutely raises her eye brows. Just as smitten with this man as he is with her. They’re so adorable. They hear the doorbell ring and Tim freezes and says ‘shoot.’ all adorable like. Telling Lucy Isabel texted him. Her name getting stuck in his throat a little. That he totally forgot to tell her he invited her over here. Lucy stumbles and is in shock but recovers pretty nicely if you ask me.

Tim being adorable saying he is sorry. That he was gonna tell her when she got out of the shower. But then he got in the shower…oh my lord. Legit announcing they had shower sex this morning. Am I dreaming? Tim Bradford saying out loud they had little morning delight in the shower. I can't believe my ears and I'm ship drunk. S5 continues to feel like a fever dream.

Not only that but talking about their sex like in front of their pseudo daughter LOL Lucy playfully hits Tim but is still beaming at him. The shower sex was so good and distracting he forgot his ex-wife was coming over. I'm reeling. God I love this season so very much. It’s insane the glorious goodies that we got. Also must point out the necklace anytime I see it. I spy with my little eye Lucy’s Valentine’s Day gift that never leaves her neck. *internal screaming*

Lucy is so uncomfortable once Isabel is inside poor thing. Trying to be a good last second hostess. Asking if she’d like something? Isabel says coffee. Tim guides Isabel to the living room. Tamara speed walks to Lucy asking if this is the ex-wife? Lucy scolding her for being so loud I'm dying. This is hysterical.

This is such a mother/daughter moment I love it. Lucy agreeing it is odd he invited her over. Tamara's protective instinct kicking in saying she’s gonna do some research. Lucy doesn’t want this whatsoever. Scolding her once again but the train has left the station haha I love Tamara so much. I hope we get lots of her in S6.

Lucy joins Tim and Isabel in the living room. I have to say before I start. I’m so distracted by Tim’s hands in this scene. Mmm doing things to me. I know I have a one track mind when it comes to him. But look at the man... Anyways she brings up 8 years ago she was UC in the Teska family. Became a mentor to the boss’s daughter Dara. Love the little check in's they do with each other BTW as she speaks.

It's subtle their eye contact but that's their specialty. Silent communication at it's finest. Isabel tells them she got close to Dara. In that weird way you do when you’re pretending to be someone else. They have no idea what that’s like…*cough double down cough* I do love the way Lucy’s eyes dart between Tim and Isabel.

So after Frank her dad was arrested she scattered and left that identity behind. Hadn’t heard from Dara in 8 years. Until now. She had answering service for her old covers. That she left a message for her. It was a distress call and sounds like people are chasing her. She came to them because she’s out of cover. Can’t seem to find her through other channels. Tim says they can go to station get warrant for her phone. See if they can't find her that way.

Once they’re at the station Tim and Isabel are en route to Grey. Smitty welcomes him back and is awkward af with Isabel. Because well Smitty. She asks if he's back from vacation? He says no a shooting. That he just got cleared from it. Says he’s getting there but Lucy keeps trying to get him to meditate. This would be adorable to see btw. I love all of Melissa’s tea ceremony’s and meditation videos. Tim is more the kinda to take a deep breathe and go for a walk and chill like he did in 3x11 with Barnes. Their versions of meditation are vastly different LOL

I love the way Harper walks over to check in on Lucy. Forever be in awe of how they started to where they are now. Nyla being apart of Lucy’s BAMF journey still makes me so happy. Harper asking her if she’s ok with Tim working this case? Lucy letting her know it’s not a big deal…that he’s over her. Nyla shooting back she knows that. She’s making sure Lucy does. Love her looking out for Lucy. Doesn't want her to get riled up over nothing.

Clearly Harper has seen the way Tim beams around her. Knows that man is gone for her. Lucy couldn’t be cuter telling her to stop it with a playful hit. Tamara comes up ruining her 'ok vibe' with her deep dive news. Harper’s face is hilarious. She like Eric has fantastic expressions. They make me laugh so much during this scene. Tamara divulging everything she’s found. Lucy trying to spin it into something positive. That it sounds like she’s got her life together.

Tamara is instigating saying 'Or she wants Tim to see she’s doing well.' Why are you doing this to your mother? Lmao. She loves you and houses you little lady haha I do love Lucy calling herself his new girlfriend in her explanation. Yeah you are. Tamara continuing her instigating mentioning how Tim said she looked good. Also tacking on 'Keep your enemies closer...'Lucy is so exasperated with her I’m dying. Pulling that look from her husbands book.

Isabel asks how long Tim and Lucy have been dating? He says a few months. Can tell he doesn’t want to delve too much into this. Diverts it back to her. Asking if she’s seeing someone? Letting him know yes and no. That he set the bar really high. He sure did and you threw it away madam. Didn't know what she had till it was gone. I know some saw this as her trying to get him back. I didn't see it that way at all. This SL wasn't built on that. This ep had her show back up for a couple reasons. One we will see later on with Lucy but this one here was more about closure IMO. The last time they spoke or the last time we saw them really speak was back in 1x12.

A conversation where she basically blamed him partly for their marriage falling apart and her addiction. That he would be a constant reminder of it. Tim didn't walk away from that convo feeling great about himself. It inflicted some deep wounds for him actually. Those wounds showed themselves in his relationship with Ashley. By not rocking the boat and being less rigid. Him smile is a little uncomfortable and strained. I I think because one it's opening up wounds he's worked really hard to close. Two he's not totally sure he believes her words but he will take them anyways. Some closure is better than none at all.

Tim and Isabel are waiting outside a motel. They tracked Dara down here. Isabel stayed here once in hiding with her. They talk about her UC life a bit. Tim telling her how he held his breath every time she went on a long term assignment. Isabel noting even when she came back she wasn’t fully there. Even though she wanted to be.

Tim pulls his gaze from her. It’s like re-opening a wound for him once again. One that’s been healed over for while. He doesn’t want to pick at it any further. Tim tells her since she’s not a cop anymore she needs backup. Lucy is on her way to them now. Isabel can’t help but note he's dating another UC.

The sweet smile when he thinks about her has me squeeing. Nothing makes him melt faster than talking about her. Telling Isabel ‘But Lucy is different.’ Yeah she is. I love him being able to see that. He looks so damn in love as he speaks. Just giddy and gushing. Also him once again being protective over his relationship with Lucy. It makes me so happy. He couldn’t be more in love with her if tried.

The scene in the truck is fantastic. First off Lucy looks amazing. Second I adore her absolute confidence about Tim. Isabel thinking it’s about Tim she wants to pick her brain. I love her saying 'No she has Tim all figured out.' I mean she does. Has owned the book of Tim for years now. No one knows that man better than she does.

Isabel may have years on her. Knowing him longer but Lucy has her beat in knowing him better. She don’t need no cheat codes for this man haha This scene is really cute. They’re both laughing and having a good time. Tim is confused as hell trying to hear their convo LOL So annoyed and frustrated he can’t hear what they’re talking about.

Lucy gets serious and asks her about UC. If it was worth it for her? Despite all the bad things that happened? I love how honest Isabel is. I also love how this wasn’t a oooh his ex-wife comes back and causes havoc thing. So grateful they went the mature healthy route with this. Was so very lovely to see her back and healthy. Isabel coming back added to the elephant in the room. Lucy being a UC while being with Tim. Like I mentioned earlier she came back for a couple reasons. This is the other one.

Lucy getting an honest opinion about this career she's considering. Isabel is completely honest with her. Saying it took a lot from her. Her husband, her job and her self respect. But she can’t blame all that on being a UC. That she had stuff in her past that added to it. Adding in sounds like Lucy has much healthier coping mechanisms than she did. Lucy is seeking out some answers because she’s having doubts. No doubts that she can do this. Lucy is very aware she is good at it.

What she’s weighing is the cost now. Here’s my take on a Lucy with UC. Take it or leave it and I'll delve into this more at the end as well. Pre-Tim UC made ton of sense for her. Hell even Pre-Tamara as well. Now she has this little patch work family she loves. That’s what she’s leaving behind now with these OP’s. Leaving Tim behind. I think she struggling with the idea of doing so in the future. Isabel’s answer was open and honest. IF she’s prepared to make those sacrifices. IF. I don't know that she is. Not anymore. Falling in love with Tim has changed everything.

Speaking of our boy. Tim ends up calling Lucy asking if the wire is fixed? Poor love is feeling so anxious right now. He needs to know it’s working. Lucy laughs with Isabel and says a wire must’ve disconnected. Mmhmm… Does a sound check for him so he can see it’s ok. They see Dara coming back and Lucy calls him ‘Babe.’ again and I’m floating. It’s such a simple word and makes me all giddy. I need more of this in S6. I really do.

We rejoin them post-op coming home. Love her asking if he wants a beer? Such a domestic moment. We got to start with one and end with one. Fantastic. Lucy mentions 'She seems good. Happy.' Tim asking Isabel? Lucy just replies ‘Hmm.’ Tim saying yeah she deserves it. Seems like he's talking about more than just Isabel. I do love the look in his face when she says this. That empathy of hers shining through.

One of reasons he loves this woman. Genuinely being happy Isabel is ok. There is also a lot behind the second look he gives her before he sits down. How he’s staring at Lucy before he lands on the couch seems loaded. Isabel coming back has stirred up a lot for him. That lingering look he gives her. It's almost got a sad haunted look to it.

Tim has been through so much all he wants is to be happy with Lucy. Saw a sad tag about his expression. Saying how he looks like he doesn’t deserve to be happy. This broke my damn heart. Falls in love again for the first time since Isabel and she’s on the same path she was. He looks so tired and defeated by the time he sits on the couch. I wanna hug him.

We get a cute little moment before this scene turns serious. Lucy mentioning it was nice to get to know the person behind all his stories. Tim asking if that’s why they muted themselves? Ha A little serious but mostly joking. Lucy saying it was just to talk trash about him of course hehe Tim couldn’t be cuter with his smile and saying sarcastically ‘Funny.’ That Lucy smile we all know and love.

The way this man looks at her my goodness. Also let’s not skate passed the sexy stubble adorning his beautiful jawline. Or the fact that they’re drinking and chatting at the end of their day. So married. Making my heart swell. The sassing and teasing never gets old. It’s the best between them. Just hits differently now they’re together too.

Lucy looks at him and takes the plunge into what she wants to talk about. Asking if she can share something vulnerable with him? Gah I love her sharing in the first place. Tim puts down his beer and gives her his full attention. Saying of course she can. I love this first shot of them. Her beautiful view as the backdrop to start this conversation.

Lucy starting off with telling him she loves working undercover. Tim doing his Lucy smile for her. Knowing how much she truly does. Even though it kills him. Lucy goes on to say she’s never gone as deep as Isabel. Doing a 6 month run or a year long. Tim thinking he has this pegged. Voicing she's worried she won't be able to handle it?

This next line kills me. Makes me a little emotional. Because Lucy is so emotional bringing this up. Her worry for him so very evident and deep. Tears brimming in her eyes. The way she touches his shoulder gently. Voicing her vulnerability and fear about him. It’s the way she rubs her hand up and down his shoulder not making eye contact till she speaks her worry.

Ripping my heart right out. Tim putting on a brave face for her and reaches out for her hand. Embracing her warm touch. Covering her hand with his. Telling her he’ll be fine. Ugh but you won’t my love. You really won’t. Even though he knows it is different this time. Because it is. Logically he knows this. Doesn’t mean he’s going to worry any less.

Hell it might even be more worry this go around because of the PTSD. Next ep is proof of that. Lucy not fully believing him says ‘Yeah.’ Tim is refusing to be in the way of her UC aspirations. Reassuring her he will be fine. I love the way he pulls her into his arms for a snuggle. Telling her to 'Come here.'

Her leg over his thigh. *squee* I’m dying. Getting real close to snuggle in for this moment. Tim looks like he goes for her hand but lands on her knee. Lucy looks damn near ready to cry. Tim rubbing her knee/thigh soothingly. My heart. Trying to find some solace in holding her in his arms. Look at his face. This man is anything but fine. He’s so very worried.

Holding her tight to him. Taking comfort in the fact she’s with him now. Savoring they're together right now. They really need to have more conversations about this. Honest ones. Lucy doesn’t want to leave him but he also isn’t telling her to stay. Just lying liars who lie right now. We all know she would have just as much trouble if it was Tim.

This sweet cuddling is beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time. I am excited we finally got some good couch snuggling. Tim looks absolutely terrified he’s going to lose her though. Not only lose her but to same thing he lost Isabel too. Ugh it hurts so good everyone.

The way Tim slightly shakes his head trying to kick loose his tormented thoughts. *heart clutch* His little smile though is everything. Knowing she so worth going through this again even if scares him to death. Lucy looking gutted about the thought of leaving him behind UC. Knowing he is anything but ok with this scenario. I believe she is having some doubts about being a long term UC now. I think she was hoping Tim would’ve had a different answer. Maybe given her an out about it. I think she’s being torn between what she thinks she should be and what she now wants.

She's been on on the UC path so long it scares her to get off it. I totally get it I wanted to be a dog trainer forever. When first moved to CO it didn’t happen. It was my goal moving there but it didn't happen. So I got a different job settled into that for awhile. Then when things came up for dog trainer while at this other job. I felt the need to still do it even though I was fine at my current job. Why? Because I had been on that path forever thought I had to because of that. But I wanted someone to tell me it was ok not to if I didn't want to anymore.

I think Lucy wants Tim to tell her not to so she has an out and can pursue something else. You can be amazing at something and not have it be your career path. Also her sticking with it might be little bit of that old self doubt creeping back in. Lucy thinking I’m good at UC can I be this good at anything else? Doubting she will be good at anything other than UC. I mean she doubted herself in 5x19 with the test. She has grown but those doubts can still creep back in. *sigh* These two. Both still holding back. Needing to have more convos about this for sure in s6. But what a damn good ep.

~~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Aaron being Angela’s aide is hilarious. Also her getting the guy to confess cause she’s so pregnant and uncomfortable is hilarious.

Isabel and Lucy being bad asses on their OP was fun to watch.

Thank you to all you amazing readers who like, comment and reblog these reviews. Give me life hehe Shall see you all in 5x21 :)

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday wonderful readers :) Holy hell can’t believe we're at the finale already. Granted only ten eps but still haha They really made these ten eps count. Can only wonder what a full season would’ve been like. But we can’t live in that realm. This finale minus the Monica crap didn’t care about was real good for our ship.

Also SO excited I got to mainly use pretty gifs from our wonderful gif makers in this one. They create them for us to use and I'm forever grateful. I love that I have the option to use my own if I need it. But much rather use these beautiful gifs if I can help it. First one in awhile been able to. Also proud of myself for getting this out right before my road trip. Moving to another state is a struggle. You hate all your belongings towards the end lol Also with Tumblr being a dick and erasing my edits twice.... But here it is despite all that . Let’s get started.

6x10 Escape Plan

For the sake of GIF space, and wanting to focus on the Chenford in this ep, I'm not going to do GIFs of her UC mission. I will do a quick rundown of what went down. Lucy’s priority is to get evidence linking Blair to Monica. They end up getting that link through Blair herself because of Nolan. Lucy finds out about the hit at the laundromat Monica is paying Batista for though. She is offing a former ally cause she's the absolute worst. Lucy is no longer needed as a Nanny after this with the family taking off.

They've decided to go to ground after this. Lucy is convinced it'll be easy to collar them though. Which leads us to this fantastic little moment. Lucy folds into the OP since she isn’t needed as a UC anymore. Tim does not take his eyes off her from the moment she enters the scene. It’s unreal. Be more in love with her Timothy I dare you. Look at that man above. This mini moment is so soft. The wording, the heart eyes, and how Angela is looking between them.

She knows they’re still in love with each other. Anyone with eyes can see that. It literally pours out of these two without them even noticing. Angela sure notices hehe She is the fandom in this moment watching this exchange. Melissa and Eric are damn treasure to make such a mini moment so soft and perfect. Got me squeeing to death over here. You can see he’s much happier with her apart of this OP. It’s so lovely. Brief but beautiful. Love our ship.

This scene is the second best of the episode. It’s the first time they’ve really had alone time together since the breakup. Now this isn’t the adult convo they need to have here. BUT this is a HUGE development in terms of communication. Especially from Tim. He’s the one to start and share. He’s grown so much I could cry. This conversation just shows how far he’s come and he is respecting Lucy’s boundaries in the process of this convo.

He’s opening up to her but also doing it on her terms. He doesn’t want to dump his feelings all over her. Because he lost that right when he broke them up. What he is doing is being vulnerable so Lucy knows what an impact she’s made on him. It’s a massive massive growth scene for Tim. It starts out with him sharing he took her advice about therapy. Lucy looks closed off as she should be at first. Saying and?

Tim makes a crack about her being a blackmailing psychopath. Because the jokes help him be vulnerable with her. We all know how much he hates to be that even with Lucy. So this is such good progress for him. Lucy lets him know that’s not normal what happened to him lol I've had two and that most definitely has not happened to me haha You can tell she’s excited he’s gone and doesn’t want him to sour on it cause of Blair. This convo alone proves how much it’s done for him so she wants him to know that. Always watching out for him, no matter what I love it. *happy sigh*

It's fascinating to watch Lucy soften the more he speaks about it. She remains cautious, and rightfully so. But she is intently listening and absorbing everything he’s saying. Tim letting her know the irony was she was a good therapist. And she was there was no doubt about that. She got him to go and I’ll be forever grateful to her for that. After being in therapy and having it continually make my life better I so relate with his replies.

How she opened doors to things he didn’t even know was there. You can see he is pensive but lighter as he says this. When you unearth stuff and give it room to breathe. Process what it is. You feel so much better. For me always starts out with this uneasy pressure and fire in my belly. The anxiety and uncomfortableness of it.

Then by the time we’re done dissecting it that feeling is gone and I feel noticeably lighter. Guarantee you was the same for him. You can tell by how he talks about it. Look at how Lucy is looking at him as he speaks. She can sense it too. Gah it’s so good. She is so impressed and proud of him. Look at her face in the first two gifs. It says it all to me. Melissa, like Eric, has a remarkable ability to convey so much emotion through her eyes. Why we have a super couple everyone. Our actors who portray them are superb.

Tim goes on to say now those confessions are being dissected. Up in the cloud for some FBI IT guy to come un-encrypt them. I hate that so much for him. No doubt the confessions he had were very raw and vulnerable. To have them exposed has to be so violating. I know I would be feeling incredibly violated if mine were leaked. It’s supposed to be a safe space to work your crap out. Be emotional, vulnerable, and talk your feelings out. Which is so hard for our boy.

Wish we could've seen his sessions. But they didn't have time with ten eps. Maybe S7? Tim continuing on to say how they’re going to be analyzed for evidentiary value. I hate that so much. Tim is putting a light spin on it. But we know deep down how much that bothers him. If they were in a better spot or even together he would voice that. But they’re not there yet. Lucy looks at him with a soft smile though. One betraying her feelings for this man. Telling him she’s sorry. Because she really is. Last thing she'd ever want for him.

Lucy then asks if he said anything revealing about her? Because of course he did. There’s no way in hell that man didn’t talk about her. She was one of the main reasons he sought out therapy. But there’s nothing to be done about what he revealed at this point. What’s done is done as they say. His joke had me cracking up so very much. I know it was misinterpreted by some. Wondering if he was deflecting.

He was not. He clearly said intimate and personal things in his sessions. Like I said earlier supposed to be a safe space to do so. But given where they are right now. The fact that this is their first real convo in almost four episodes he keeps it light. Maybe someday when they’re back together they can dip their toe back in but that time is not now. As I said in the very beginning of this scene. He is respecting her boundaries in this moment.

Doing this for couple reasons. One making light of it because he’s feeling vulnerable in this moment. Two he wants to lighten the mood because this is a serious subject. I wanna cry at how much he’s grown to even be vulnerable enough to share this with her. Her reply reminded me of 5x21 when she asked Tim if he missed her? It’s so cute and such a light hearted way to end this scene. This scene represents significant growth for him and for their relationship. They’re on the road to slowly healing and I’m here for it.

The hit was pops off. Tim sees one of the guys taking a truck to escape. He pursues him alone and jumps in back. Luckily his wife sees this and takes off after her man. Doesn’t waste anytime going after him. I love it sfm. When the chips are down they are just there for each other. I’ll forever love how fiercely protective they are of one another. Makes my heart swell with shippy happiness. Angela joins Lucy in the pursuit of Tim.

We watch as Lucy is having a panic attack watching Tim struggle. He is losing the battle quickly and she cannot just sit there and let him get hurt or worse. The love of her life is being demolished in this fight. She physically can’t stand it and tells Angela to take the wheel. Angela is floored by her determination to get to him. If you weren’t already impressed with the BAMF Lucy Chen has become. You will be now. Look at how she jumps onto that truck.

The music once again perfection as the scene unfolds. She is fueled by the need to protect her person and some adrenaline to go along with it. I love Tim’s face when she appears. So thankful she is there because he was NOT I repeat not winning. He was upside down so quickly. It’s why Lucy is there saving him. They immediately fall back into the well oiled machine they are in the field. Taking down this guy together. Always say they look like poetry in motion at work this scene is continual proof of that.

I love the looks they share in the cab. Tim’s far more telling than hers. Looks like he’s falling in love with her all over again For the second episode in a row. Floored by the cop she’s become. How amazing she was to make that jump and save his ass. He is forever in awe of this woman in front of him. Saying so much with just a look there Timothy. You are at work put those heart eyes away haha Actually don’t I love it so much. You can see the utter reverence in his eyes for her. Does my shippy soul good to see it.

The look Tim gives her outside the truck is EVERYTHING. She just risked her life to save him. That man is in shock. After everything he did. The fact that she would risk her life for him like that.... He can't believe it. That’s the face of a man astonished by the woman standing before him. She did it because she still loves you my silly goober of a man. But we will get there I’m sure of it. Like I said earlier this is a slow healing and I’m ready for the ride. I really am.

So much is being said with these looks and no words are even spoken. That’s the beauty of our ship right here. That silent communication only they have. How they can convey so much with just a look. God I love this ship. There’s a reason they’ve had a stranglehold on me for years. Tim cannot take his eyes off the woman in front of him. I love it so much.

T.O. Tim would’ve lost his mind at her action. In love Tim can’t stop being in awe of her for it. I can’t get over how he is looking at her. It’s so telling. Lucy is reciprocating will a look of her own. Their instinct to reach out to each other but they hold back. *sigh*. Such a an incredible fight scene. Our ship got back to back finales with bad ass fight scenes. I love watching them in the field. That’s where their roots begin. Why I love it so much.

We start off the glorious elevator scene. (And fantastic song in the background. Can't praise the music department enough.)We get back to back goodies in this space too. The scene we’re about to embark on is beautifully done. Eric and Melissa doing what they do best. Knocking it out of the park with their skills and chemistry. I love Tim’s 'Lucy smile' being in full force as she walks up to him. *happy sigh* That man could not be more in love with her if he tried. Lucy isn’t holding back with the heart eyes when he’s not looking either. Her being the one to crack the joke is precious. Lightening the vibe instantly.

Making a crack about his injury. Her way of showing she cares without it getting too personal. Because they just aren’t there yet and ya know that’s ok. This is going to be a slow burn to reconciliation. I’m actually pretty excited about it. Tim returns her affections with a joke of his own. Saying slacker is his middle name haha Ever the gentlemen let’s Lucy go on first. They settle into the elevator with some charged energy. Lucy retreats into the back of it. Not ready to be standing that close to him yet.

Wanting to keep whatever this interaction may be brief. She’s still hurting and it shows. Also, knowing the magnetic pull of theirs too strong for her to tempt fate by being closer to him. Tim feels this too as he settles in. Doesn’t push it. His spatial awareness around her remains considerate. Stays out of her bubble for the most part. The growth train with Tim continues. I’m floored by this scene everyone. Just floored. Also proud and astonished by this man. Opening up to not once but TWICE in the same episode.

Let us delve into this wonderful scene with how Tim opens it up. His back to her still. Respecting this physical boundary she has set up. I wanna start by saying watch Lucy in the background as he speaks. He only slightly turns his body so he can’t fully see it. The look of apprehension present? Yes. She is like a wounded animal, not sure if she can trust the man in front of her fully. But she cannot for the life of her keep the love and reverence out of her eyes. She does it the entire scene.

Just because she can’t trust him yet doesn’t mean she isn’t still madly in love this man. Her actions in the OP proving as much. Tim leads off with her saving his life. Blatantly stating she saved his life. Who are you and what have you done with Tim Bradford? Lucy deflects because she doesn’t know how to handle this new Tim. One who is graciously giving her credit. Lucy is feeling vulnerable herself and pushing it away. Telling Tim he had him. Honey, you don’t jump onto a moving truck out another vehicle in motion if he had him lol

Tim refuses to take ANY credit for this. Telling her basically how fucked he was in that moment. Reminding her of his predicament. Letting her know how much he DID NOT have him. He knows he screwed up in his approach and she saved him from his mistake. The growth here makes me wanna cry. They are happy tears don’t worry. The more I go through this season the more I’m glad we had this all happen. I know you must think I’m crazy for saying that. But it’s true.

Can you imagine S1 Tim acknowledging his mistake and showing gratitude to Lucy for saving him? Hell, even S5 Tim, who is madly in love with her, couldn’t share the credit in 5x05 for her saving his life in the pilot. This is a much different Tim Bradford we are looking at folks. Despite all the crap with Dr. London he has grown. Their fallout brought him to a place where he could. To the point where he is thanking her for saving him. No bravado. No tough Tim. Just vulnerability plain and simple. Not only that but sincere gratitude.

Lucy can see the vulnerability he is displaying to her. She can feel how sincere his words are because she knows this man. Back in 6x09 she asked John how he sounded. Because she can determine everything about where is by the tone of his voice. Lucy can’t even see his face really but can tell how sincere he is being by his voice.

That’s why we get this incredibly soft look from her. Heart eyes galore as she tells him ‘You’re welcome.’ As I stated earlier she may not trust him right now. But god is she is so in love with this man. It’s written all over how she is staring at him as she replies above.

Getting me all in my shippy feels and igniting my excitement. I have no doubt Tim feels she doesn’t love him anymore. If he turned around and saw her revealing look of love he would know. But he doesn’t. Being respectful of her space in this moment he keeps his back turned.

It’s here we see Tim internalizing everything. Gathering up the courage to turn around and tell her what’s been on his heart. Something I’m sure has been rattling around in his head since he started therapy. Their hug in this very elevator likely intensified these feelings even more. The kindness and empathy she showed him. Even though he felt unworthy of it. It stirred something up in him. Realizing again what he once had that he so hastily threw away. Once again Eric be killing me with his expressiveness. Tim finds the courage to turn around and speak his peace.

We watch him be vulnerable and open up to her for the third time in this ep. Second time just in this moment. Once I was shocked and proud enough. But three all together? I’m damn right giddy at this point. He starts off STRONG. Admitting he knows he ruined everything. This is HUGE. Finally admitting fault to her. The fact that he knows this and is acknowledging it. *screams into a pillow* It's everything we've waited for. It’s an incredible start to this part. So many were mad at him in 6x07. It wasn’t fair or just to Tim. He needed time to get here. Lucy may need her own therapy and growth. But is little more evolved in the emotional game than Tim.

Also it's WHY he needed therapy in the first place. Wasn’t fair to expect that out the gate for him pre-therapy. You don’t get his character if that’s what you expected IMO. Sorry if that’s harsh but it’s true. It’s what makes this scene even more satisfying. To watch him make the journey to this moment with her. To let her know he screwed up royally. That he wouldn’t have blamed her for turning on him. He made it easy to. This second line showing he still has growth to do. To get to the place where he knows Lucy love him through anything. But he’s a WIP as we all are lol

Lucy isn’t sure she is ready for this conversation. We can see that she struggles to even make eye contact with him. Like I said earlier, she’s having a hard time trusting him, let alone accepting this newer side of Tim. It’s a lot for her to take in post OP. She’s also still harboring a lot of anger towards him. You can see it percolating all over her expression. Tears forming in her eyes. Threatening to fall at any second. Melissa out here trying kill me with her amazing acting.

That anger is ever present and hasn't really had a chance to breathe or surface at all. I mentioned in 6x09 that she hadn't really dealt with the trauma of their breakup fully. Her reaction above is proof of that. This is why she’s letting him know he doesn’t have to do this. Because, deep down, this is what she’s wanted, but she isn’t sure she is actually ready for it. She hasn't sorted through her own feelings and anger fully about all this. Fingers crossed s7 does that or she is there by then. Also Lucy is trying to give Tim an out he is REFUSING to take with her reply.

Tim isn’t going to let this moment pass by without saying this. He is trying to repair them with something he should’ve done long ago. Communication. Honest communication with her. It’s on his heart to do this and nothing is stopping him. It’s here he says a line that makes us all swoon. Makes us all wanna kiss him for. Also, it's making me incredibly emotional in the process. He’s just so god damn sincere it’s making my heart ache in the best way. Letting her know she will never know how much he appreciates her kindness.

Because to Tim he felt so unworthy of it. He felt that way before they broke up. Her continuing to be the same caring empathetic person to him afterwards? Blowing his mind. Also reminding him of this incredible person he let slip through his fingers. It’s an epiphany he’s having here in this moment. What he’s really thanking her for is far more than just the truck and their elevator hug.

She’s shown him her kindness and big heart since the start of their relationship. When he was a dumpster fire and all she could see was his good heart. The man that was beneath all the damage. Lucy has been a constant source of joy, positivity and love in his life. He would be remiss not to thank her for all that she has done for him. This is extending for their whole relationship IMO. His words holding extra meaning in that regard. Thanking her for their entire relationship.

This next part is friggin EVERYTHING. This is Tim acknowledging he took her choice and voice away in 6x06. He is giving her all the say in this moment. Letting her know he will spend the rest of his life trying to pay her back. Which makes my heart happy on so many levels. Wanting to EARN his spot back at her side. Not just waltzing back in. He wants to demonstrate his commitment and win back his place in her life. Gah it’s so good.

I can't wait to see what does for his small doses in s7. Also, there’s something so beautiful about Lucy just being Lucy that reminds him why he fell in love with her in the first place. About what he has lost as well. Knowing this incredible person needs to be earned back. He then follows it up with whatever small doses she allows. Which is now on HER terms. He’s giving Lucy her voice and choice back.

Things he robbed her of in their breakup. Took away her agency when he did these things. Beautiful thing is he recognizes this and is letting her know. Not only does he have a lot to make up for, but if she allows him to, it’ll be fully on her terms and say. You’re dead inside if you weren’t tearing up in this moment. I was a mess. Also If you can’t see the enormous amount of growth this moment represents I can’t help you lol

Lucy’s guarded but softened look says everything. How she is longing to let him back in but can’t just yet. Almost like how a rescue animal would react. The need to want to trust is there. But it hasn’t been rebuilt yet. She is hesitant to truly trust in it. Lucy is floored by the man standing in front of her though. The myriad of emotions coursing through her is reflected above. Just look at her eyes alone. It’s here we can see her soften a little. Defrost a bit. She’s not there yet but she will be. We all love Lucy for her loving and forgiving heart. I don’t see why she wouldn’t let him back in if he continues this growth. This desire to make things right between them.

Working on himself to be better. Regaining his place in her life. Something he wants so badly but realizes he needs to earn back. There is a great quote from Ted Lasso that fits perfectly here. "I hope that either all of us or none of us are judged by the actions of our weakest moments. But rather by the strength we show when and if we're ever given a second chance." I remember there being a small faction of people being nasty about Tim still. How they never wanted Lucy to forgive him. It was those same people who were terrible about his mental health crisis too. Showing their emotional immaturity once again. Made my blood boil.

I avoided the Chenford tag because couldn't take the outrageous takes they were spewing. Here is what I have to say to those people. One. I hope you never make a mistake in your life then. Because the way you want this man to be treated is with zero empathy or compassion. I highly doubt you'd want that for yourself. Second refer to the quote above. No one should be defined by the actions of their weakest moments. That's not who Lucy Chen is. There is no way she would hold this against someone she loves forever. Tim is going to earn her back I guarantee you that. He is going to show strength when given that second chance. Mark my words.

Tim gives her the sweetest Lucy smile before he turns back around. Feeling better having shared a piece of himself with her. Proud of himself for being vulnerable with her even though scared him to death. Written all over his face in the second gif. But he couldn't let her leave that elevator without letting her know he was going to put the work in. Going to try and fix what he so hastily broke.

It’s once again how Lucy is looking at him when he turns back around that gets me. That longing to reach out to him but keeping herself from doing as such. Keeping herself rooted to that wall in an effort to stop herself from reaching out like she longs to. If you were wondering if she was still in love with him look at her. That is the face of a woman who is still so in love with the man before her.

Tim tops it off with bidding her good night. Nothing more nothing less. He said what he needed to say. It’s up to Lucy to accept it or ignore it completely. It’s her prerogative either way. Which is the impression he wanted to leave her with. Lucy keeping that longing but questioning look up as she follows him out below. We can see her starting to see the change in him as she does. First he tells her he's gone to therapy and now this. I saw a something the other day it said 'An apology isn't one if there isn't changed behavior.' Tim is exhibiting changed behavior here.

Lucy is feeling torn between staying mad or starting to heal. Wanting desperately to believe in his words. That is written all over her face as she exits the elevator. We see her face change into a small smile at the end. It's not in this gif but she does. This was the start to healing everyone. Also was the perfect way to end the season for them IMO. Why you ask? Because it didn’t need to more than this. Anything more would be been a disservice to this SL they created. Would’ve made breaking them up pointless. It had to have a purpose and this was it. Growth. Also this scene is a promise for s7.

I know some wanted a frantic hook up but it wasn't right to do so. They are not ready to be back together yet. Both have a lot of work to do before we get there. How they ended them for the season was *chefs kiss* It ended with Tim acknowledging the wrong he had done and what he’s going to do to make it up. That’s what makes s7 so exciting. I think he will continue therapy. I really do. I also think we’re about to see a determined Tim driven in his quest to make amends. Get to see a side of him we haven’t seen before and that excites me to no end.

Because Lucy Chen brings out the best in this man. And s7 is going to reflect that. As much as this season ripped my heart out. Truly I haven’t been this devastated by a couple in half a decade at least. If not a little more tbh. But rewatching this and having a better insight to it. I’m glad they did this. We all love Lucy rebuilding him and loving him into a better version of himself. Don’t get me wrong I love that. She changed his life dramatically for the better. Thing is she was his safety blanket emotionally.

I said this back in 6x07 that it was Tim’s journey to go on not Lucy’s. It was his problem to fix. She couldn’t fix what was wrong inside him. Only therapy and putting in the work was going to get that done. Their breakup was an eventuality without Tim growing. When they get back together (which they will) we will be grateful for the painful growth this season gave them. Said this before. Rather have them evolve snd grow as characters than be puddle deep like Bailian.

We’re going to get a stronger and even better version of Chenford in s7. Better version of them as characters as well. I cannot wait for the slow burn of their reconciliation. Going to make all the hurt worth it. Because it wouldn’t be right or realistic to rush them back together. I’m ready for the slow burn of s7. I really am. It's going to make when they get back together all the more sweet. I’ll be excited when we lose our minds collectively when it does. Also enjoying the journey it’ll take to get us there. I might do minis for s7 too. I’ll post something when we get closer to that if that’s someone people want.

Until then remember our ship is the best ship on this show. They’ll find their way back to each other. When they do it’s going to make it all worth it ❤️ Also the link above is for the song in the elevator. Whoever is in charge if music is truly gifted at what they do. Every song was lyrically perfect or just musically apt for the moment it was in. Thank you to everyone once again for the likes, comments (please leave comments haha I love them sfm) Reblogs they make all The effort so worth it. Shall see you all in s7 :)

~~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford

More creepy waking up with Bailian. I don’t get get them as a couple. I really don’t. Like watching paint dry.

Loved Aaron's mic drop of a moment with Dr. London. Well done sir. Shall miss you. Come and visit eh? Maybe for a wedding...

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday Fandom :) More of that pining/slow burn in this one. I saw a post that said ‘The greatest things take the longest time.’ That is Chenford in a nutshell. The buildup and reward are so good. This one is fantastic for so many reasons. Also we get rid of the dead weight that is Ashley in this one. The symbolism in this one is very poignant. So let’s get going.

5x05 The Fugitive

A foot chase starts our ship off in this one. Tim takes down one of the suspects with an impressive takedown. Sexy af until he injures himself. Lucy pulls up and is on it immediately for him. Tim is clearly in pain and Lucy is instantly worried. Asking if he’s ok? Tim being Tim brushes it off. Saying it was just the take down. He tweaked his back is all. Then grimaces some more. Activating worried wifey mode to the max. You no longer have a choice in this now Timothy. She has decided you are going to the hospital and that is that sir. This is not up for debate. At all. Weird place or not you are her person and she will make sure you are taken care of. That’s instinctual.

This next scene is the epitome of stubborn husband and exasperated wife. Tim comes gimping into the hospital. Lucy is hot on his trail worry pouring out of her. Nolan starts to update Tim on the fugitive loose in the hospital. Lucy cuts John off and says he’s not there as a supervisor. Damn girl you just take the lead for your man.

Idk what’s more telling to those around them. That Lucy is in wifey mode taking over for Tim. Or That Tim starts to fight her then gives in. Either way acting married af right now. Or as I saw in some tags we could call this scene ‘Where wives don’t believe their husbands.’ LOL From the minute he started hurting worried wife was activated.

She is not giving up till you are seen Tim. She is so exasperated with him when he says ‘Ok I’m not fine.’ Like yeah it’s what I’ve been telling you this entire time you stubborn ox of a man haha She's so gentle in helping him sit in that second gif though. Mad he won't listen but soft when he needs her. Mixture of extremely worried and infuriated with him.

Lucy is doing her search for the fugitive when she runs into Tim’s room. Awkward central. She wasn’t expecting Ashley. haha Tells them she's just looking for bad guys...Tim doesn’t let her leave yet asking how the search is going? Asking If Nolan is leaving a cop on every floor? Lucy’s incredulous look and sass reply are the best. ‘Yes we’ve been cops for more than ten seconds.’ Lucy stays long enough to be present for the doctor. He explains it's an old injury flaring up.

It's from when he was shot few years back. Ashley's reaction to a bullet makes me roll my eyes. He’s a cop those tend to be apart of the deal….The doctor telling him the injury from a few years ago is a problem now. There was a fragment that was too complicated to move at the time. So they left it there. Tim tries to relax Ashley and say he was ‘Just shot’ not a big deal. Trying to downplay it. Lucy bragging she saved his life on day one. It was a big deal heh I mean it really was... His hot shot in action saved his life.

Tim ignores her comment and let's the doctor finish. He says the fragment has traveled and is now closer to his spinal column. It’s pressing on a nerve now. So they need to do surgery to remove it. Tim says 'Ok…when?' Wifey jumps in not Ashley and asks ‘Hold on, what are the risks?’ The doctor must’ve thought Ashley was Tim’s sister and Lucy was the spouse at this point. He has to. The way Lucy is acting is that of a worried wife. Asking questions and not just sitting there as the doctor speaks.

The doctor answers Lucy’s question by saying ‘They’re talking about the spine so it’s risky..’ The silent communication above oh my word. He doesn’t look to Ashley for comfort when the doc says this. No no. He looks to his person for it. The way he flits his eyes over to her. The writing was on the wall for Ashley in this one in so many ways. Let’s not forget his GF is standing right next to him as he does this.

Literally right there as they have this mini silent convo with his soulmate. How this woman wasn’t consistently threatened by Lucy I’ll never understand. When his panic and worry start to pile up who does he look to? His girl. Such a short moment with so much meaning attached to it. They’ve been each other’s safe place and harbor for a long time.

So naturally he would look to Lucy not his GF in this moment. Ashley is so far past her expiration date at this point she's starting to smell. Gah their chemistry is out of the world good. This moment above a reflection of that. Also Lucy’s reaction to the doctor saying it’s risky. *heart clutch*

Tim opts to do the surgery even though it’s risky. It’s better than doing nothing. He says it could be laparoscopic and he’ll be home by dinner. Look at Lucy’s panic in that first gif. She was not done with grilling that doctor. Nor was she done talking to Tim about this. But sadly she's not his SO and can't have more input. If she was his wife that doctor would’ve spent little longer in that room. You can tell how antsy and worried she is.

Looking at Tim with that same amount of worry. Lucy touches her tattoo. Her go to when she’s super stressed and overwhelmed. Her heart is hurting she can’t be the one comforting him. Can't be the one grilling the doctor some more and having a say in this. It’s killing her. Since she can’t do anything more she opts to leave. Also Ashley comforting Tim is not something she wants to see anyway. It’s hurting her to watch tbh.

So Lucy gets awkward and says she’s gonna get back to the search. Being in the room isn't something she can stand at this point. So she takes off back where she came from. Where do Tim’s eyes go? Not to Ashley. To Lucy who just left the room. We all know he’s not with Ashley because he loves her.

It’s just comfortable and safe because he can’t be with Lucy. Breaks my damn heart. All his feelings were showing in this scene. 100% of them towards Lucy in this moment. Look at that man above. His heart just walked out of the room and it shows. He wanted her to stay but there wasn’t a reason for her to. You’re so in love with her Timothy. It's painfully obvious at this point.

Lucy comes to see Grey after he collapsed in front of her. He got food poisoning from breakfast place they went to. Ashley did him a solid by having him not eat bread I guess...Lucy is so cute when she comes in saying it’s like a sleepover LOL Never change Lucy Chen never change. This makes me laugh so very much. First I wanna say I love Grey trusting her enough to run the station. That’s amazing.

Second it's hilarious because they both need her to get a move on. With Smitty in charge god only knows what’s happening without them. When she arrives he’s already given a friend day off….Lucy asks what he’s doing? Tells her 'When you’re in charge you let your friends go home early.' OMG lol Lucy is panicked and says but we’re short today…Reminding him they’re understaffed due to the units on the hospital. Smh. This is why they sent her back...

We return to Ashley back in his room. Talking about how Tim could retire if he wanted. Be on disability/pension if this surgery keeps him from working. Move out of LA. It’s insane to me she would even suggest this. But not surprising. The thing I didn’t like about Ashley was her constantly molding Tim into her version. Once again vapid is the perfect description for Ashley.

Not having him strive to be a better person like Lucy does. Because she is blah and doesn’t challenge him. Just wanted her version of him. Where Lucy challenges him and makes him want to be better. Loves him for who he is. Ashley just keeps trying to shove Tim into a box. Her box of who she thinks he should be like. Not loving him for who he is.

Lucy loves every part of this man. Warts and all and vice versa. Trying to take away being a cop to be a beach bum? Outside of LA? She doesn’t know the man lying next to her at all. Why you ask? Oh you know just those glaring communication issues they've had since day one. This goes all the way back to 4x10 with Kojo. It's not gotten any better.

Because of this lack of communication she’s only gotten surface level Tim. The Tim that doesn’t want to rock the boat. So he is just going with it. Better than making waves. D brought up an excellent point in 4x21 in her comments. About him not fighting her because of his PTSD with Isabel. Her saying he was too rigid. Tim is over correcting now where he’s not even himself at this point. Possibly agreeing to this ‘Life plan’ of hers. Just going through the motions because he has to.

He doesn’t want to be alone and he can’t be with Lucy. It’s insanely heartbreaking when you break it down like this. Tim is losing who he is in this relationship. Just to please a person he doesn’t even love. To quell anxieties his ex-wife thrust upon him. We see him hesitate because it’s a life he doesn’t really want. Makes me mad as I write this. Tim deserves so much better.

Tim goes to stretch his legs while he still can. He sees the fugitive and tries to stop him. Oh my Timothy why would you do this being so hurt? Because he's a lawman first and foremost that's why. Not that Ashley get’s that....I wanna cry with how much pain he’s in. Gah Eric killing me softly. We see his bravado disappear in an instant. Tim then thinks of the two most important women in his life. His sister and his girl. No no not bloody Ashley. Lucy. Sends Ashley to call his sister.

When Grey makes it over he tells him not to tell Lucy. Knowing she would drop EVERYTHING to be by his side. Tim putting her first even when he's in danger himself. Does he not see what a husband move this is? I’m sure Wade does. Minute Ashley is gone he tells him not to tell Lucy. Fierce protector reporting for duty even when he’s hurting. If Lucy saw him grimacing like he is she would lose her damn mind. He knows this and decides to keep her out of the loop because of it.

Lucy sees a bunch of cops leaving and is panicking. They say Smitty is letting them leave early. Harper comes up and Lucy asks for her help. Nyla knowing Lucy is a BAMF saying all she has to do is say different. I adore the way Harper builds her up in this moment. Filling in those gaps still when Tim can’t. It’s amazing. Letting her know she has their respect.

With everything she’s been through and done for others. No way these cops wouldn’t have her back if she asked for it. Lucy tells them what’s going on. How spread thin they are and she needs them. Jan nods and says ‘You got it Chen.’ Love this for her. Smitty comes up and ask if she’s in charge? She says yeah I guess. He looks so relieved and hands the reins over HA

Here comes the scene where I wanna drop kick Ashley into a volcano. I think I’ve been much harsher on Chris than I have her so far. But this is where that changes. Tim is just getting out of surgery. JUST. What does she do? Project her crap onto Tim. Then break up with him for it. Girl, you knew he was a cop from the damn jump. For MONTHS. You knew this. Wasn’t a secret he kept from you. Yet you decide to condemn him for it cause of an injury he had years ago. This has to be one of the most incredibly selfish things I’ve ever seen. That line from 5x08 ‘You deserve someone who’s worth the effort.’ Clearly to Ashley, Tim wasn’t worth the effort.

Breaks my heart for Tim. Leaving him alone post surgery. I hate her for this. I really do. When Lucy would’ve lost her damn mind even knowing about this. The only way she would change her mind is if he retired. Cool so you didn’t get what you wanted so you bail on him? Awesome. Real classy of you. This was just all their crappy communication, incompatibility and just being so wrong for each other coming to a head. At the absolute worst time for Tim. The way he says 'I just got out of surgery...' Breaks my heart. Let me at her Tim. I'm Italian we're scrappy.

I also just wanna hug him so very much. What a shitty thing to do. It’s a rough ride to 5x08. This one just hurts to watch. But good riddance to bad rubbish as they say. Tim was only in that relationship cause it was safe. To fill the hole in his heart Lucy left. And she didn’t even do that good of a job... She did him a favor really. The insane amount of symbolism between Lucy and Ashley in this ep is glaring. When it’s the right person this stuff doesn’t matter. She asks him if she can get him anything? No. Get the hell out. You aren’t fit to breathe the same air as him let alone be in his presence anymore. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. You won’t be missed.

We return to Lucy at Grey’s desk looking exhausted as hell. He comes in to relieve her. He asks how did it go? She lies and says it was great…. Wade laughs and says ‘It was great?’ He tells her he spoke with the communication supervisor. That she did a masterful job of managing calls with half the normal staff. Lucy thanks him but says she is more than ready to hand it back to him.

She asks about Tim’s laparoscopic? Grey sighs and tells her the news. It’s the way he softly delivers it. Knowing how sick with worry she’s going to be. The man knew. We see the absolute panic on her face. She goes from tired to extremely alert and worried af. That man is the important person in her life. She doesn’t have to blink before she’s at the hospital for him.

Let’s talk about this panicked absolutely panicked walk to his room. How she’s desperately searching for him once she arrives. The way she rubs her tattoo when she reaches it. Gah it’s so good. I love Melissa doing that small touch with her tattoo anytime she is worried/stressed. It’s like she can’t breathe until her eyes are on him. That she won't relax until she can see that he’s safe and ok.

The shaky way she approaches his bed. Bracing herself for the worst since she knows NOTHING about his surgery. Asking him so softly if he’s ok? Getting angry asking 'Why no one told her in the first place?' Tim is smiling because he’s just so damn happy she cares about him. That’s she’s here. He tells her everything went ok. He'll make a full recovery. That he told everyone to keep her in the dark. She goes from worried wifey to scolding LOL

Tim’s answer is so damn revealing. Lucy is picking up on the feelings he’s just laying out for her. Telling her he didn’t want her to worry. Lucy putting the pieces together in her reply. Tim couldn’t be more obvious in his affection for her in this moment. Truly think Lucy was catching onto his feelings right here. It’s the soft way she repeats it back with a very affectionate smile on her face. She loves this man so much. It's written all over her face.

They’re both so sweet and loud in their feelings in this moment. This is such married behavior it’s unreal. He could’ve used Lucy in this whole situation. But once again puts her above his own needs. Because Tim Bradford. Literally screaming his feelings at her in this moment. Tim is realizing this as she parrots back what he did. Goes back on the defensive saying to slow her roll LOL

That he misspoke he was really talking about the station. Uh huh. Sure babe that’s what you’re talking about…Continuing on to say he didn’t want to distract her with worrying about him. So she could properly take over from Smitty. Lucy’s BS detector is out and it’s going off like crazy. He knows she would’ve let the station burn to be with him. To have someone by his side. Instead of calling him out on it further she just does a knowing ‘Mmm-hmm.’

He then goes into proud hubby mode. Look at this man. Like I said in 5x03 he looks at her like she’s hung the moon and stars. Does that by saying he heard she saved the day. Lucy decides to banter back at him. Instead of just taking his praise. Being sassy af in her reply instead of just thanking him. I love this because it shows the comfortability that is still there.

Telling him it wasn't that hard. Pretending she wasn't phased at all by this daunting task. Tacking on she doesn't know why he's always complaining LOL He just complimented her and she knows he means it. So instead of shying away from it she engages in flirty banter with her person. Tim catching onto her game joins in saying 'Really? Just smooth sailing?' They easily fall back into their natural banter here.

Lucy then cracks with a big smile for him. Saying ‘No…it was awful!’ Haha The comfortable solace of their banter coming to life in this moment. It makes my heart so happy after the last few eps. Lucy feels their flow returning. So she decides to rant about her day. Saying to him 'How can so many things go wrong in one day?' ha

Tim returning fire with a sassy reply of his own. Shooting back it wasn’t even a particularly bad day. The flirty body language from Lucy my god. Be more telling my goodness. Does my heart good them bantering and bickering. It's so nice to see after the heaviness they've been carrying around. They both had horrid days. Lucy with the shift from hell. Tim with almost being paralyzed and having emergency surgery.

You wouldn’t know that from watching them banter in this scene. They haven’t had this kind of back and forth in forever. We haven’t seen them this light in weeks. Haven’t see them be themselves at all since 5x01. Look at these two. They’re practically glowing from this sassy banter exchange. Just the pick me up they both needed.

Lucy asks where’s Ashley? Tim stutters around and says he sent her home. She was ‘exhausted.’ Ugh my heart. He’s too hurt to tell her what happened. She’s worried enough about him as is. He won’t add to it. His default gear putting her first. Lucy says ‘Ok.’ believing his lie. She goes to sit down because if she isn’t going to be here Lucy sure as hell is. We talked about symbolism for this ep at the very beginning. This is that in a nutshell.

Lucy filling the seat next to his bed that Ashley has vacated. Not that she is aware of that at this point but Tim is. Lucy makes the choice to stay with him. It means more to Tim in this moment than she’ll ever know. Her automatic reaction is to stay so he doesn’t have to be alone post surgery. Knowing he would like the company even if he doesn’t ask for to. She just knows him that well. This moment means so much to Tim.

He is very gun shy from Ashley legit just abandoning him. He questions why she’s sitting down. The shock is all over his face when she originally takes that seat. Lucy’s answer is wonderful and obvious to her. 'I’m keeping you company.' Thinking what else would I be doing after rushing to come see you? I also think she just wants to keep an eye on him. Make sure he’s really ok.

She is putting him first in this moment. Just like she always has. Always will. Tim tells her she doesn’t have to. Then Lucy does a terrible job of hiding her own feelings. Giving him heart eyes galore replying ‘I know.’ Basically saying ‘I know but I love you.’ No where else she’d rather be. It’s why his smile Is so damn soft for her. She doesn’t have to stay. She WANTS to be with him. Keep him company while he recovers from something so awful.

She is choosing him in this moment and he knows it. It’s written all over his handsome face. He is so grateful to her in this moment. Her presence being a salve to his emotional and physical wounds. Gah I love this episode so very much. Just another ep showing how Lucy is very much his person and Ashley was never close to that. Not in million years. Such a good one after low content drought. Sure it was intentional by the writers to starve us a bit then deliver this gem of ep ❤️

~~~

Side notes- non chenford

Love learning about Angela’s brother’s. Also that final scene with her mom makes me cry every time. It’s my own issues but I’m jealous. Angela deserves that apology. Yeah she’s a bad ass but even a bad ass still needs their mom. The way her mom owns up to it and apologizes. My heart. It makes me sad cause I’ll never get that so it gets me right in the feels. But so glad she got it.

Whew we're 5 eps down already unreal. Thank you to everyone who likes, comments and reblogs. You are the reason I do this :) see you in 5x06