#i /am/ nothing of value

[exchangersilverr]

...it isnt my place, but im dreadfully curious.

are you alright? have you been doing okay?

you were quiet for a while. the angel was worried. i cant help but feel sympathy.

your latest melancholy... is there anything i can do to help?

i may fight for my own life, but we are here for you.

- iolia (she/her)

...I don't think there's anything that can be done. It's my fault anyway. Trapped in time... trapped... trapped...

...no, I haven't been well.

[teleportationmagic]

"You weakened me!" By Ambessa is not a declaration of apathy! It is not her blaming Mel! It is when Mel finally learns that her mother isn't apathetic to her, that she isn't disinterested in her fate or disappointing in her, but instead she loved her too much and too deeply. That Mel threatened Ambessa with ruination, because the only way Ambessa has ever known to survive is by embracing brutality and sacrificing a peaceful death, while all Mel has ever wanted is peace. That a peaceful death would have literally meant the death of her child, back when she was still pregnant with one of them!

And Mel's disapproval of her meant that Ambessa could feel herself tumbling into a path of peace. Into a better path, maybe, but a path that for Ambessa has only ever meant death. If she could be more hardhearted, maybe she could have kept both - her family's survival, and her daughter - but alas. Her sending Mel away is not a failure on Mel's part, but in fact a failure on Ambessa's - because she could not withstand the arrows of her disapproval, now she needs to come to Piltover to collect her before whatever older enemies she has catch up with them both. She comes to Piltover to correct that mistake, to show Mel a harder heart, and yet! It's doeesn't work! Because Mel still demands of her vulnerability and she cannot help giving it to her!

Is there no greater expression of love, for her? To even contemplate opening herself up to that which is deadly, for the sake of the life and soul of her daughter? Is there nothing so undoing?

[fumifooms]

Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.

His grey hairs are so earned

[the-jennnster]

Something about the way bibliopunk/punk academia is treated on here Bugs Me and I think it can be best summed up as this:

You can't just throw the "punk" descriptor onto whatever you like and call it an aesthetic

Punk is not an aesthetic

Punk is a mindset, it's a philosophy-- it's a rebellion against societal systems

When I say bibliopunk, I don't mean sweater vests and old library photos and quotes from classics.

Bibliopunk, to me, a punk librarian, is about freedom of information. It's about making sure everyone and anyone can have the resources they need to learn, whatever that means for them. It's no late fees and fighting against censorship. It's defunding the police and funding community resource centers that specialize in making sure there's a place where people can go to ask for help, to read books on any subject they can think of, to connect with events and organizations that exist to help THEM. It's about making zines and learning how to bookbind, because fuck the idea that traditional publishing and Amazon are the only people that can make something a book.

Punk academia, which is used colloquially here, is related to this-- it's saying fuck the academic systems that keep out the poor, the people of color, and the disabled. Fuck your Ivy Leagues, education is whatever the hell you make it. College should be free, classes should be accessible WITHOUT being forced to give up all of your personal financial and health information, curriculums need to include as many varying perspectives as they can because fuck the idea that a cishet abled white man is the authority on any given topic.

Bibliopunk, punk academia, and any other Tumblr "aesthetic" with the punk descriptor is not just a moodboard of photos you stole from Pinterest.

Because what's more punk than a public library?

[chrollohearttags]

I can have a million things stressing me out but I can never say a man is one of them God bless

[quartzteph]

got downed in fortnite and doodled hyde doing the griddy while i was waiting to be rebooted

EPIC GAMES. PUT JEKYLL BACK IN THE ITEM SHOP AND MY LIFE IS YOURS.

[slamrink]

Nothing to see here just steph stealing glances of klay like he’s afraid he’s going to get caught 😃😃 (via namxsj on twitter )

[hylianengineer]

Part of being a scientist is falling in love with things other people don't appreciate. Part of being an ecologist, in particular, is falling in love with things that other people think of as nuisances or even evil.

Spiders. Weeds. Mosquitoes. I can't even hate ticks, although I really wish they would not bite me.

This morning I told my father I was disappointed because his yard didn't have enough 'weeds' in it - it felt like going someplace you'd expect to run into an old friend and being unable to find them. Where's the speedwell? The chickweed? The perfoliate penny-cress? My parents aren't even the type to spend time, money, or effort trying to have a monoculture lawn, but for some reason there is a marked lack of plant diversity there.

My mom is annoyed about the spiders that keep appearing in the basement bathtub (which, okay, they do keep dying in there which is unfortunate). But I like them and want to see them and learn what kind they are. I found a dead one and scooped it into a petri dish to look at under my microscope. My apartment doesn't have any spiders and I'm jealous that my parents get them, but don't even like them!

If you learn to love the lifeforms we humans share our lives with - often despite people's best efforts to eradicate them - then you will discover a new world of joy and awe right in front of you. The only drawback is that you then have to listen to everyone else talking shit about it, and I have yet to find a way to teach them to appreciate it.

[bonefall]

Did Brambleclaw actually disown the Three when the secret is revealed? I don't remember this happening (then again, it's been a while) but it does bug me how all three go "Poor brambleclaw :(( He was such a good dad to us and he has to learn we're not even his biokits :(((( poor guy" while simultaneously shitting on Leafpool and Squirrelflight despite them showing them more care and affection before AND after the reveal. If he does disown them, then.... WOW is the double standard real here.

In-canon? It's something you have to approximate. They don't seem to have a concept of ""disowning"" because blood relation is taken as such an insurmountable, FUNDAMENTAL fact of life. He doesn't write them out of his little kitty will and testament, but his actions ARE disowning.

It's as if the fact he is not their biological father is an automatic disowning. From the reveal onwards, he is immediately cold, distant, and the "betrayal" is mentioned often. The Three also explicitly don't blame him for his behavior, like it's just to be expected that he's Not Their Dad anymore.

Lionblaze in particular stares longingly at him several times, really missing him. And like... that's kinda what gets my goat so much

I do believe Brambleclaw is entitled to his feelings of betrayal. I believe Squilf was ultimately in the right to lie, actually, but he's still allowed to be upset and angry that she didn't trust him enough to tell him something so important. THAT SAID, YOU ARE NEVER ENTITLED TO TREAT OTHERS POORLY.

And that's what GETS me. He isn't upset that it was all revealed in such a painful and embarassing way when this could have been avoided, or that his lover struggled with this lie for so long without him, or that he feels he's lost his children. Squilf points it out in The Last Hope-- He's so ANGRY at Squilf that he will THROW HIS FAMILY AWAY

Lionblaze seems desperate to be his son again. Hollyleaf is gone for months, and Brambleclaw is still huffing about the secret when she comes back from the dead. Squilf is fawning in the hopes it makes him talk to her again. Doesn't matter. Brambleclaw Is Upsetti Spaghetti so the narrative will never examine his role in hurting this family he apparently loved so much.

(Narrative seems to understand full well that when Squilf lies for a good reason, that doesn't invalidate the hurt Brambleclaw felt... but when Brambleclaw is upset for a good reason, it actually DOES validate what he put her and his kids through)

In BB it is explicitly a disowning. He cuts them off as his children, and they reciprocate. BB!Lionblaze does so in a ball of fury, vowing that he has ONLY a mother.

[halcyon-deluxe]

what do you value most in someone?

At *least* a 2x resistance to ground type attacks. My last partner died due to a 4x weakness to earthquake and it gave me SUCH an ick :/ likeeeee I haaaaate it when my partner gets one-shot by earthquake spammers. its such a turn off.

[bunnies-n-bowties]

✧ I was commissioned by my soon-to-be mother-in-law to make an art piece for her office, and I drew her Tinker Bell since it's her favorite character! ✧

[crow-caller]

Yewchubing upd8:

I haven't been too well but am striving to get back on things. I'm about 70% done with the first in a series of Fallen London lore vids.

I haven't chosen my next book, and while I should pick something suitably pop bombastic, I'm being drawn to BETHANYS SIN which seems to be about a cursed town of man hating horse shapeshifters. I don't want to start a book until this fl thing is written though.

Also, helping no one, I'm considering making something in twine again. I miss twine

[mari-lair]

Hey love your analysis. People like you make this series so great by appreciating the complexness of the story and characters.

I had a quick question regarding your last post about H’s attachment to N and K.

The line at the end “his love is selfish and doomed to fail” do you mean that because his love was initially rooted because H liked the company of N and K that his love will hurt them because of H messy morals and self sabotage that stem from his lack of self value or fail as in his love for them is not substantial not “real” because of it originated from H’s selfishness?

I think H’s love and compassion for the two, himself, and the value of life will make or break the ending if it’s a happy one. N and K have their own personal growth also tie to the series ending. It is too soon to predict the series ending but with this arc I can see N’s character grow to understand about the fragility and preciousness of human life seeing her friends die or getting close to. So hopefully we can see these insights in H’s and K’s characters too.

Thank you, happy you enjoy my analysis! I had to go search up the post you're talking about cause I hadn't done a big analysis about Hanako in 2 years.

I am 90% sure you mean this one though, which ends with this:

I would do some changes on how I formated the whole analysis but my main opinion didn't change in these two years: His love is selfish and doomed. HOWEVER I didn't meant to imply being selfish is the reason his love is doomed.

The reason I believe that his love (which is definitively genuine btw, he is haunted by this love, he becomes irrational and vulnerable and confused and so so fond of Nene and Kou) is selfish and destructive is because of *points at the whole analysis*

But the reason I believe the love is doomed and can't last is because he is dead. It doesn't matter if he start loving himself and figure a way to express his love without being harmful (to himself or others) because he was doomed from the start. What is the best case scenario here? He does the impossible and Nene lifepan is cured without hurting anyone in the process! But then what...? He is 13 forever, stuck in the school forever, while kou and nene will keep growing old, they'll become adults, he will remain hanako. He can lose them by simply being unchanging by nature, and he knows that.

Hanako's life is already over, he can't build a new life, he can't grow with his human buddies and learn/change the same way a human can. Everyone's development will decide how his love will end though. Maybe it can be a happy, bittersweet thing, maybe he will become another school wonder full of even more regrets and no idea how to process his regrets. It's indeed too early to know how the manga will end, specially now that changing the timeline is a thing??

(not that changing timelines make it less doomed, if Amane never dies he would be too old by the time he met Nene and Kou to be their buddy)

[fjordfolk]

there's something to be said about this trend of doing prelim hip screening on very young dogs and freaking out when they look kinda meh

there's a whole bunch of other somethings to be said about vets apparently bringing up FHO as an option based on those prelims??

[zvahlne]

thinking so much about my laurance-in-alternates au. instead of writing or drawing for it though i'm currently making him a minecraft skin

[gingermintpepper]

hi I love your tags so so much! they were so sweet and so interesting and creative and the whole Aphrodite type of beauty thing sounds really interesting do you have any articles and recommendations to read further into it??

-hogoflight

Hello my fine feathered (I am assuming possession of feathers if you are, indeed, capable of flight) @hogoflight! I'm always always happy to hear that people appreciate my frenzied rambling in the tags :D! I have a lot of articles and recommendations :D!! Ancient Greek notions of beauty and representations of it in their art and sculptures is a pretty well studied topic! There isn't any way for us now to know definitively what the beauty standard was (it varied widely from region to region and culture to culture after all) but here are a couple of my favourite reads about Aphrodite and what her representations tell us about idealised beauty!

Probably the most empirically extensive one I can list is Krönström's thesis which compares statues of Aphrodite and literary text referring to both the goddess and mortal women to determine physical ideals for women in five specific eras of Grecian antiquity. Including measurements of the statues there are many descriptions of Aphrodite as 'curvy' with a 'voluptuous figure' and with 'ample buttocks and bosom'.

"When the beauty traits are described in the texts, they are never extreme or anything that could not be found in normal people just that they are more beautiful in every aspect. Furthermore, the sculptures’ physical forms look healthy, they are tall and have distinct curves. Great examples of this are the Knida sculpture and de Milo (the Melian) sculpture."

Of course, these images are still idealised, and there was still a concept such as 'too fat' or 'too skinny' found in written records (and this thesis even includes analysis of pornographic writings and descriptions of the fashion and stylings of pubic hair of women from different regions!!) but from an interpretational standpoint? There is absolutely no reason why these can't refer to a fuller figure. Height was also a very important factor after all and over the course of many eras, it seems like being well proportioned in addition to the length and appearance of one's hair were the most important factors (and, like Apollo, greater beauty was given to those with curlier hair)

Mireille M. Lee's 'Other Ways of Seeing' essay which talks about the forgotten female viewers of Knidian Aphrodite which is also extremely illuminating on how Aphroditic sexuality and sensuality was perceived totally differently from the well documented male voyeuristic gaze (which was overly preoccupied with the statue's nakedness and therefore over-sensationalised the statue's physical appearance) vs women's perspective on the statue which is more centered on the beauty of simplicity in Aphrodite's garment and decoration and in her power and ability to captivate both in her finery and without it. I think it's especially useful in exploring the importance of finery, jewellry and adornment in representations of Aphroditic beauty.

"Some of the small-scale copies are heavily jeweled, especially those from the eastern Mediterranean, for example the Hellenistic gilded terracotta statuette in the Çanakkale Museum (Fig. 5) in which the goddess wears, in addition to the armband on her (right) arm, the following: a necklace with multiple pendants; cross-bands extending over both shoulders and hips, with a cascading pendant in the center; a coiled snake armband on the left arm and another snake on her left thigh, and a twisted anklet on her right leg. (The left leg has been restored, and might also have featured an anklet.)"

"Jewelry is especially associated with Aphrodite in Greek literature. As seen above, in the Homeric Hymn to Aphrodite, the goddess adorns herself with gold jewelry, dress-pins, and earrings in the shape of flowers (162–3)..."

Finally, and to me, the most important one in the argument for an interpretation of Hyacinthus as fat, beautiful and fundamentally Aphroditic comes from Brilmayer's brilliant brilliant thesis done on Aphrodite's work and influence in Archaic Greek Poetry which does away with all of that masculine preoccupation with physical proportion, measurement and bodily ideals for a focus on a Sapphic Aphroditic ideal centered in clothing, ornamentation and, most importantly cunning as symbols of Aphrodite and ultimately a feminine idealised form of beauty. This paper also discusses Pandora and Helen in these terms and it is just kind of a wonderful read tbh.

"Combining Homeric and Hesiodic elements with her own ideas, she [Sappho] alters the way female beauty is viewed. For example, the Homeric war chariot – a symbol of male, military prowess - comes to symbolise the totality of Aphrodite’s power uniting in itself male and female qualities. Having addressed the concept of beauty directly, Sappho then concludes that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. With the help of Helen of Troy and her beloved Anaktoria, Sappho sets out to reinvent the concept of female beauty as a godlike, subjective quality that may be expressed in many ways, yet remains inspired by Aphrodite."

The conclusion to all of this of course is that Aphroditic ideal beauty is much more fluid compared to its stricter Apolline masculine standard. The nuances and understandings of both are of course, constantly being studied, analysed and scrutinised but really, if Dionysus who was both bearded and clean shorn, effeminate, birthed and rebirthed (and twice gestated!) and strongly associated with vegetation can be popularly portrayed as fat and handsome, why can't Hyacinthus?!