#hypergamy ask

[prettieinpink]

Urgent ask, how be a baddie as a extremely under confident person

BECOMING YOUR BEST SELF WITH LOW CONFIDENCE

i have no idea what ur definition of a 'baddie' is, so this post may have not been what you've been looking for, but I tried my best

A lot of us struggle with confidence, and it can be the main factor that holds us back from growing to be our best selves. So, I’ve created a guide on improving ourselves even with low confidence.

UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS NOT UNREPLENISHABLE. Confidence is like a cup of water, tea, coffee, hot cocoa, or whatever your favourite beverage is, it can always be refilled. While you don’t have to ‘fake till you make it’, remember that you do not live with a restricted amount of confidence.

ACCEPT IT. Whatever way you have to, crying, journalling, venting, you have to accept that you are a person who struggles with low confidence. However, instead of identifying yourself as that, identify yourself as learning to self-love.

E.g. ‘I’m so insecure’ → ‘I am still learning to love myself.’ ‘Why can’t I be like them?’ -> ‘I will learn that I do not have to be someone else.’

CONSIDER NEUTRALITY. You don’t have to live on this odd scale of loving yourself or hating yourself all the time, and letting it define you. Instead of what it looks like, what it can look like, what it can do, see it as a special vessel that homes your soul.

For example, my body can digest the food that nourishes my soul, my hands can write text messages to my loved ones which reassure my soul that they know they are loved etc. Seeing it in this perspective grows a deeper meaning and appreciation for your body.

I like to see my body, traits, and life as a gift from God. Me insulting these things, is an insult to him.

INDULGE IN YOUR STRENGTHS. When we have low confidence, it becomes almost second nature to focus on our weaknesses. Instead, try to actively focus on your strengths. If you don’t know what your strengths are at the moment, just focus on things that make you happy.

It would be beneficial to add one thing that you know you’re good at on your list of what to do. Something that you’re assured you’ll like doing and the outcome.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Eat a well-balanced diet, make an effort to achieve good quality sleep, exercise when you can, reach out to your loved ones daily and incorporate things that make you happy.

Just these simple things can improve your quality of life by far, however, our intentions to do these things may be impacted by our low confidence, and therefore we are unmotivated to do these things.

If that is the case, take little steps in doing each thing and remind yourself that intentional self-neglect is a form of self-harm and destruction.

[kingess]

okay so just wanted to ask how to be ready for a relationship. Like a real, healthy relationship. I thought I was prepared but when the opportunity came, I just couldn't do it. I used to think I was ready but still I would attract those very consuming and harmful situationships. But now I realize I myself wasn't ready for a proper relationship. So how can I prepare myself for one?

You heal.

You take an intentional detox period from males and go in total celibacy for at least 5 months. No talking, no flirting and no entertaining males for any purpose. You're not going to use the time to just lounge around though; you're going to want to complete 4 steps.

Trauma work. You're going to deep dive into what's happened to you and how that affects your relationships as an adult. Get the books and get the journal going. What you face can be erased.

Confidence work. You need to find yourself because after all you've accepted into your reality you're a shell of the woman you could be. Level up, refine your style and social act and get comfortable with your self-validation being your main fuel.

Be fearlessly & intentionally alone. Stop accepting "good enough"-people in your life. Stop accepting friends or family that don't align with your values or dreams. Absolutely drop people that don't respect you deep or hype you up. Set boundaries; only love should get access to you.

Learn to vet a man. Finally, to find diamonds from a sea of rocks you have to be very clear and skilled. Your standards have to be as solid as your goal. Learn to drop males from the first sign showing they're not what you're after.

In my opinion, every woman should go through this process for their clarity if they're after a commited relationship.

[blissfullyecho]

Do you have any tips on becoming more eloquent, or a better communicator? I often struggle to find the right words or express myself clearly to others, especially in a work setting. Thank you!

how to become more eloquent + become a better communicator (workplace edition)

reading

try to read more if you don’t read as much or at all— it doesn’t matter if it’s nonfiction or fiction, but if you practice reading, you practice saying thoughts/words/sentences/etc. in your mind as you read which is clear and concise because that’s how the author wrote the book/article in the first place. authors don’t write “like” and “um” and “uh” when they are communicating to the reader, unless of course a character said those words but again, a character isn’t talking to you (the reader), but to another character. like i said, when an author writes, it’s to convey a clear and concise message to you, the reader. when you start reading more, you begin to pick up on also being more clear and concise when you not only read, but also write.

practice common workplace questions and answers.

for example, if you work customer service, what are the common questions you get asked that require a good answer from your employer, coworkers, and clients/customers/patients? think about what you normally have to talk about or answer in the workplace, write an answer down, and practice that answer so you have a quick, clear, and concise answer to that common question.

if you say “like”, “um”, and “uh” — or any other filler word, try to take a breath and slow down when you talk

you don’t have to be quick on your feet all the time and answer in .2 seconds. take a quick moment to gather your thoughts, smile, and then speak. it’s not as awkward as it may feel the first few times you do so. waiting 3 seconds is not that big of a deal. try to catch yourself the next time you are about to use a filler word and just take a short pause.

develop your vocabulary

you don’t have to use diction from shakespeare times, but simple changes such as using words like “ostracized” instead of saying that you’re feeling “left out” or “inquire” instead of “ask” could help make you seem more eloquent. i believe dictionary.com still does the “word of the day” where they give you a vocabulary word, definition, and pronunciation. also, reading helps a lot (once again)!

practice public speaking tips + techniques

even if you aren’t a public speaker, practicing the skills and techniques public speakers use when they talk to an audience would help tremendously if you’re just talking to one person. purchase books on public speaking and search up public speaking advice on youtube for free.

practice on being a better (enter your job title here)

i don’t know what you do for work, but take on training for your profession. go to seminars, networking events, purchase a course online, buy books from those in your industry, or again, go on youtube for free. you have to train to become better :)

spend time with more professionals or people who can speak eloquently

you pick up habits and traits from those you spend your time with so be careful with who you spend a lot of time with.

i hope i helped!

[brownsugar-dreams]

Hi brown sugar! I’m a sugar baby in California in nursing school and I feel like as sugar babies we don’t talk about our jobs or careers while sugaring. Could you shed some light the jobs you had during med school. My goal rn is to find a sugar daddy that will help me get a position in a hospital or a start up

Hey, thanks for your ask! It inspired me to create this post.

I never actually worked during med school. Besides stipends from research papers/projects, most of my income came from my small business, sugar dating, and camming. If you’re looking for non-SW related ways to make money, getting into research is one way. The stipends I’ve gotten have ranged from $500-$5k depending on the type of research and length of research. I found a great PI who understood the struggles of student life and did what she could to get paid research opportunities for me. I’d suggest reaching out to PI’s who are doing research in topics you’re interested in. Additionally there are a lot of scholarship/grants available that most ppl either don’t know about or don’t feel like applying to. I just applied to as many as I could and received a lot of money that way.

If you’re talking about SW jobs, I mostly used dating apps and Seeking. Occasionally freestyling worked too when I had the time/energy to do it. The only thing is it can be slow during certain periods so it wasn’t always a steady way for income. I started supplementing sugar dating with online only sugaring. Using cam sites (no face to protect identity) I’d find clients who were looking for a girlfriend experience. This has been the most stable/steady form of income so far.

I think for your goal, freestyling would be a good avenue for you to meet someone with enough influence to help you. Try going to networking events, charity galas, and medical conferences. It’ll be a great way for you to network and meet ppl in the field of healthcare. I suggest making business cards (can order for cheap on Canva or similar sites) with your name/phone number/position (nursing student) and handing them out at the events. Make sure to collect some business cards as well! Keep in touch after the event and decide if they’ll be useful in any way.

[daphnedauphinoise]

which cream blushes would you recommend? budget and high end options please!

In order of price low-high

Revolution Super Dewy Liquid Blush - £5 ⭐ELF Putty Blush - £6 ⭐Glossier Cloud Paint - £17⭐Saie Dewy Liquid - £20 ⭐Rare Beauty Melting Blush - £21 ⭐Vieve Sunset Blush Balm- £21 ⭐ Charlotte Tillbury Beauty Blush Wand - £30 ⭐Tata Harper Cream Blush - £38 ⭐Chantecille Cheek Gelée - £43

Daphne xox

[luxuryandlilacs]

Why would a guy continually be so wishy washy say he misses me wants me to plan to go see him so tell him I have to get time off of work to be able to since he can’t do weekends…so I’ve gotten time off of work continually for him and he has done it multiple times saying “it’s been way too long, I’m bored of this, I’m not waiting” expect me to go the next day he asks…when I can’t I work. I just don’t understand him…I just feel really hurt. He’s also continually blocking and unblocking me..or blocking me on one thing but not another…then yesterday we had a long back and forth on how upset I was and confused he kept saying he’s done over it so then I said to him “You’re the one that’s kept changing your mind every time…I’ve been trying to come and then you do this You just make me upset….because every time im coming you’re the one that keeps extending it and telling me not to. You were just saying you missed me….and then I said “This is the last thing I’ll say. You don’t need to respond…you’re just hurtful and i don’t understand you and why you do this to me after I’ve continually gotten time off to come.” He likes the message..then today’s been stalking my page viewing all my stories…I don’t understand him or why he is being this way?

Block him on everything. Your future husband wouldn’t dare have this behavior. You need to be disgusted by this behavior. Ew!

[dont-telljasmine]

Today and every day…

Be completely delusional. Yes, they are staring at you because you’re the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen when you walked into the room. You DO have THE fattest of asses, and he left you because he’s been off his meds and doesn’t know his left from right.

Believe it and be blessed 🫶🏾

[swabian-princess]

How did you become a stay at home girlfriend?

Hey,

I made it very clear from the beginning of our relationship that I like more traditional genderroles.

Men = provider

Women = homemaker and mothers

it was always planned that I would be a stay at home gf/fiance/wife at some point in our relationships. I also made it very clear from the start that I wouldn't work fulltime, do all the household chores, care for children and pets AND cook for the whole family.

My bf sees things the same as me, so when I was unhappy with my current job he was quick to tell me that I could stay at home for as long as I like and that he would provide for us.

It also helped me a lot that I'm able to organize a household. I had professional cooking and baking lessons as a child and teenager in school, I can clean and plan meals for the whole week.

I know how to iron clothes, how to wash clothes and how to keep the house clean and make it a home!

Selene

[kissmethroughthebone]

that broke unemployed guy has been sending me multiple messages trying to reject me after I already rejected him, it's been multiple hours..... like dude get a grip

It's amusing how men can hear a "you're nice but that doesn't sound intentional enough for me, but that's fine, I can tell we'd connect great as platonic friends though, also I am busy on the days mentioned" and think that requires any further messages

their egos are fragile.

anyway i think to myself, "we are dodging mutual bullets! i like men with money who are willing to worship the ground i walk on, you like down-to-earth girls who are able to date your unemployed poly ass!"

I already have a roster of platonic and romantic connections who can get me food and movie tickets, I'd rather not have one more that can do even less, but I appreciate the offer!

[sk-lumen]

Do you miss old hypergamy blogs?

Hi anon!

I'm not sure what you mean by old hypergamy. I have a select list of blogs I like reading because I resonate with their content and quality, and they're still posting (including hypergamy blogs).

Certainly with time I've seen a lot of evolution in different directions, including new or existing movements intermingling such as the tradwife aesthetic, girlboss, etc. I think there's something valuable in each moment, if you use critical thinking and only apply to your life what does resonate with you (and discard what's problematic).

I might write an article/essay on these topics one day as I think especially the tradwife/girlboss dichotomy is very interesting.

-L

[tooedgyforbrunch]

Why do BW keep using the word Hypergamy in public? Lmao you can really tell it’s new for a lot of yall. How you gonna turn that into a “trend”. Hypergamy inc? “I’m all about marrying a man of a higher economic status!!! Look at me” 🤡

My higher economic status man just told me to tell you “Said Anonymous”

toodles ✌🏾😘

[kingess]

Dark mother, what is your view on gifts? Should we give them, or should we always be on the receiving end?

Ok let's unwrap some of these

Yes. You should always be on the receiving end. Once you two are established, after he has asked you to be his girlfriend or fiancé and has provided valid reasons why you'd benefit from taking said offer, then you can do cute gesture gifts to deepen that connection and show appreciation. The thought is what counts, but for the love of fuck I don't ever want to hear of another girl gifting boars xboxes.

Men show their intention through investing in you.

When you allow him to gift you you're letting him use his natural masculine effort to court you. You're allowing him to have small victories that are the pathway to winning your final love. This is what so many women fail to grasp, we are animals and this is how it happens in nature. Gifts are a way for males to engage in competitive displays and courtship rituals in our modern civilized society.

Remember that words are free and language is a new invention to our species. Gifts are way more than you getting something nice. Girls, gifts are messages and so is your reaction to not receiving them.

[richarlotte]

hypergamy opinion?

I don’t think it particularly wise to encourage any girl who’s in her early twenties to chase after “millionaires” or “billionaires” when HENRYs are right there and easily accessible if you’re willing to work on yourself. The average salary in the USA is less than $75,000 per year; I know men who are 27 and making $375,000 yearly. They’re nowhere close to millionaires, but that’s still incredibly good money. The enemy of good is better; you do not need to be dating or married to someone making multimillions to be satisfied with life. 

I have a best friend; she’s 21, she’s dating a man who makes around $450k yearly, and she met him 2 years ago when he was at $200k. He’s age-appropriate, intelligent, and funny, and they get along well. He makes enough to take 4 major vacations with her per year; he treats her very well; he encourages her to pursue her passions instead of a traditional 9-5, and they live together in happiness. She doesn’t come from any sort of amazing background, but she’s a good person; she has a good personality and was willing to really work on herself, and she met him because she made a point of cultivating quality relationships ajd friendships and doing more with her free time.

Dating HENRYs means having more options; there’s more variety and more freedom, and you’ll have more luck finding someone who fits into your life. My boyfriend comes from quite a bit of money; he has a trust fund and investments, and he will be making more once he’s out of college. We fit seamlessly into each other’s lives; I’m a few days older than him, we're very compatible, and we met because of an event. Proximity is what brought us together, and he’d move the world for me without me having to ask. He’s appropriate for me to be with, and I love him very much. Find a HENRY and focus on building your relationship with him instead of struggling for more.

[brownsugar-dreams]

do u have tips for actually finding men to enter relationships like this with??? trying to break into sugar dating but dont really know where to start

Hope this helps 🎯✨

[herdemimonde]

some things i'm learning as i become more of a kept woman...

be prepared for the possibility that you may have to leave everyone where they are. your girlfriends/sisters/etc may not be into hypergamy. your family may not care to level up their lives. be prepared that you may have to walk this path alone until you find like minded people along your journey.

people may talk about you. i'm not talking about jealous men that are mad they can't afford you. i'm talking about those you care about. best friends. close family members. you may hear phrases like "you're so high maintenance", "you want too much" or the questions "why can't you settle? why do you have to be like that?" "why do you want so much?" who do you think you are?" you may hear backhanded jokes or snide comments as well. don't get mad. but take note. notice who's saying it. there's jealously behind their words. move silently.

watch out for people that start asking for things they have no business asking you for. they feel entitled to what you have.

the cost for your beauty maintenance will always get more and more expensive lol.

if you're like me and you come from an impoverished background you may have to get use to spending money. at least this was the case for me. i know that sounds odd but when you've become accustomed to going without or having to buy the cheapest option, suddenly not having to look at price tags may feel foreign at first. work on cultivating an abundance mindset, speak wealth to yourself and heal your scarcity wound. and be gentle with yourself during this process. this mindset was most likely developed during childhood.

you do not have to be a rhodes scholar. you don't have to know everything about everything and get embarrassed when you don't. it can actually work in your favor to not know but show an eagerness or a curiosity about it. men love to teach and share their knowledge. however you should be up to date on current events and what's happening in the world.

you do not have to be a 10. looks are important but it's more important to look put together. exercising and eating healthy is of the upmost importance.

outside of the bedroom, spewing profanities, acting vulgar and dressing *too* provocative will probably not go over well.

be interested in his work other than how much he earns.

learn about him. his likes, his dislikes, and even more so learn what stresses him out and what makes him happy, that will come in handy. 😉

[blackpilljesus]

hello, ive been lurking in radblr (and agreeing with almost everything i see) and i feel like i have a pretty good understanding of the terminology, there is just one thing: i am still confused about the "pilled" thing like redpill blackpill ect..

Redpill isn't part of rad or other spaces near it terminology. That's moid bs believing in hypergamy & thinking maIes are oppressed.

As far as I know there are 4 pills in fem (female not feminist) spaces.

💊 Black pill - Explained here

💊 White pill - Came about as a twitter thing against blackpillers when there were more active blackpillers on the site. These women are & believe in the opposite of the blackpill. Whitepillers believe maIe violence is entirely due to socialisation so maIes can be reformed. Many whitepillers either want to or support being with maIes because LuRvE aNd CoMpAnIonShIp so yeah they oppose concepts like separatism. Main aspect of the whitepill is having hope that female liberation will happen some day.

💊 Gray pill - In the middle of the blackpill & whitepill. Many of these women want to have hope but at the same time cant deny the evidence they see that suggests otherwise. Not hopeful enough for the whitepillers but not pessimistic or doomerism enough for the blackpillers either.

💊 Pink pill - Not entirely too sure as I didnt hang around these spaces but they're femcels. They focus on concepts like lookism, how they're not attractive enough in society. Many pinkpillers aim to looksmaxx in an attempt to gain higher status in society but some are just hateful of hetero politics with regards to the way maIes choose women. Many of them were also involved in FDS circles as well.

With mass social media account wipeouts many blackpillers, graypillers, and pinkpillers spaces were taken out so there's just specs here and there. Some tried setting their own websites but they eventually went down with no explanation as to why. I miss these spaces even if I didn't agree. As I was answering this I thought to myself how it's wild that so much of this history of womens thoughts is gone and I'm honestly glad this question was asked what a trip. 2020-2022 was many female spaces peak times.

There's very little memory of these spaces online even but with the way people are I'm sure they'll kick up again at some point as the wheel always gets reinvented.