#hypergamblr

[daphnedauphinoise]

which cream blushes would you recommend? budget and high end options please!

In order of price low-high

Revolution Super Dewy Liquid Blush - £5 ⭐ELF Putty Blush - £6 ⭐Glossier Cloud Paint - £17⭐Saie Dewy Liquid - £20 ⭐Rare Beauty Melting Blush - £21 ⭐Vieve Sunset Blush Balm- £21 ⭐ Charlotte Tillbury Beauty Blush Wand - £30 ⭐Tata Harper Cream Blush - £38 ⭐Chantecille Cheek Gelée - £43

Daphne xox

[hypergamyconfessions]

Sorry I love the rude/blunt hypergamblrs-theres way too much delusion about what is realistic and achievable and it makes me cringe.Sounds mean but I've seen so more girls on pages and groups with unrealistic expectations

Thoughts?

[daphnedauphinoise]

Hypergamblr, I need to know how you guys feel about dating within your age range so that would be your age - 3yrs older? I need to know if people agree that 5+ age gap is better

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJmBWjWm/

[daphnedauphinoise]

 🎀Pink Pilates Princess Workouts 🎀

 Lean & Slim Model Arms

How to get 11 abs like a K-POP Idol

15 min Ab Workout 

Dancer Leg Sculpt

30 min Full Body Barre Definition 

25 Ballet Body Sculpt

No Equipment Real Time Model Workout 

Victoria Secret ‘Train Like an Angel’ 

Full Body Workout for a Model Body 

Victoria’s Secret Model Workout Routine 

25 min Workout with Victoria Secret Model Romee Strijid

Train Like An Angel 2014: Candice Swanepoel Butt Workout

Train Like An Angel 2014: Adriana Lima Core Workout

Bella Hadid Workout - VICTORIA'S SECRET FULL BODY

Train like a Ballerina - Tone and Sculpt 

Ballerina Body Sculpt & Tone

1Hr Train Like a Ballerina Full Body 

[daphnedauphinoise]

Why are non-western girls so much better at being good looking and things related to beauty ?

In the nicest way possible our countries aren't really progressive in the social politics part and we aren't 'woke'. There is no need to be 'inclusive' in our countries and hence the high and strict beauty standards have stayed and forced people to keep up :)

At least thats why I think it is anyway. I know there is lot of talk about the impossibility of western standards but in reality they aren't as demanding or detailed at the ones in the East. But not every non-white here in the West participates in their culture's full beauty regime, only the ones who have either lived in their home country or the ones who have very strong ties.

I think there is a respect for beauty where I come from that isn't found here. Standards back home are higher and people don't care about hurting your feelings. People don't spend time there pandering to your conscience and they don't constantly make sure that they're not hurting other people's feelings. But criticism comes with help. If you are fat, you will be told to lose the weight and be given different herbal teas and recipes to take back home, if your hair is greying you will be given a family henna recipe, if your skin is looking dull you will get three different aestheticians numbers to call. If a woman isn't pretty it isn't because she was born ugly, no it was because she isn't taking care of herself.

I've never really heard anybody in my community ever call anyone ugly instead they would say "oh she has potential but she isn't maximising it". My mother is a firm believer that everyone has the potential so it is themselves who let them down if they aren't 'pretty' and not society. My mother called it 'negligence of oneself' if they failed to look after themselves.

When I was growing up there was a strong emphasis on wearing the right clothes and doing your hair the correct way to suit yourself. Yes there are beauty standards but most of the time if you take care of yourself in the way that you need to be taken care of, then you're already halfway there.To us, wanting to look beautiful is not vain and we don't make fun of other people for the things they do to beautify themselves. Where woman are ridiculed here for doing all these things, women back home are praised and asked for their secrets.

I have this auntie of mine who comes from a very wealthy family and who are married into another wealthy family and this auntie is one of those people who's always dressed to the nines, she always has her make up done well, her hair is always shiny and kept long.  I thought who better to ask about beauty standards and beauty rituals if not her. Also she has been recently widowed and she doesn't really need her house as much as she used to.So I asked her why does she bother to look this good and put this much effort into her look when she really doesn't have anyone to show it to. I mean a lot of people would say that she would only look good for her husband but her husband is no longer with us and she is has enough respect in society so she really can do whatever she wants so no-one would say anything if she were to ho out sporting a birds nest, so why bother ? She told me that it was a sign of the respect she held for herself. They way you carry yourself and present yourself to society shows how much you respect your being and it sets the tone of how others treat you. She was her own to take care of and it was her responsibility that her health and beauty was in top condition no matter her circumstances. How much effort someone puts in is proportional to how much respect they have for themselves.

Also, for non-western girls with whom I have spoken to, beautifying is not a luxury but a daily habit. We don't see going to the spa and getting treatments as luxury and a one time thing, it is part of life. And of course not everyone can afford to go to spas and salons all the time so they learn the skills themselves. Can't afford a salon, that's okay, learn how to shampoo your head properly, learn how to do shiatsu head massage and learn how to cut your own hair and how to do a Russian blow-out. I come from a culture where a woman's social capital comes from what beauty treatments she can do for others; her worth comes for what she can for other women. I was taught how to give a facial and how to do lymphatic massage at five. When I didn't show any interest in learning how to do make up in my teens, my mother was absolutely distraught because now how was I going to be able to face society if I was of no use to the other women ?  In a way it's almost as if all the beauty skills that you learn is not for you but for your community. I was saying of course not everyone is going to be able to afford the luxury of going establishments so either people learn at home or someone takes one for the team and goes to learn how to be a professional beautician. I know many aunties in my community who went to beauty school and those are the very same aunties who are the most popular in the community. Beauty is a bonding experience for us.

There are other many reasons to why the women in the West are not on par to the women from the rest of the world but I think I will leave this here. In honesty I don't think things are going to change anytime soon either.

Daphne x



[daphnedauphinoise]

Favorite resources to stay up to date and learn new things? :)

There is no bigger hobby that I enjoy as I do learning about things. I don't think there is any necessity for me to talk about the importance of education but if you didn't know, staying educated therefore cultured is vital in any level up and hypergamy journey and for yourself. You know those people who you meet and their eyes light up

Some topics that interest me that may interest you:

History of Fashion, Fashion Politics and Fashion Desgin 

British History 

Religions

Wars and Heros

 Documentaries

The D in Daphne is stands for Documentaries. Pretty much everything I know comes from documentaries. Documentaries are tricky because a lot of them can be extremely biased and just bad in general. You can get them on Netflix or on Youtube 

Wikipedia

I know the general advice is to stay away from wikipedia but I don’t think that advice stands anymore seeing how far the site has come since it’s early days. I go to wikipedia for pretty much everything and I don’t think I will ever quit. Wikipedia is just an online ecylopedia, it is acessible to everyone with an internet connection. Free education/ more accesible education is one my biggest passions and it is something I 100% stand with and I cannot thank the creators of the site enough for their services. You can literally learn anything and everything on here and you get very detailed, referenced information for comepletly free. Like I said, wikipedia is a great starting point whenever you are learning about something new and sometimes the content can be hard to digest but that just means that is thorough.

Youtube

God bless the internet man. For all of it’s pitfalls, it has made education extremely acessible to the masses. Youtube is a gold mine for visual leaners and I find that information is more digestable when someone else is telling you it. My personal heros are Indian teachers and professers on the sit who are just magic at what they do and everything they teach gets stuck in my head far quicker.

Khan Academy: Great for highschool to early years on university, various topics, espcicially good for maths and science 

Crash Course: Literally every topic ever, videos are usually ten minutes, very visual with fun animation.

C.G.P. Grey: Focus on philosophy, politics and history. 

New Economic Thinking : Experts discuss current economic happenings.

The Pursuit of Wonder: Philosophy and Litertaure.

Broey Deschanel and Lessons from screen play : Film and Film Analysis 

Classics Explained: Classical music explained. 

Podcasts 

I have recently been getting into podcasts and they are a very good way of getting information in and learning something new.  You can find a podcast on pretty much everything . Here are a few I reccomend:

BBC Earth 

Ologies

Let’s Talk about Myths 

The Business of Fashion

The Partially Examined Life 

The Dropout 

Magazines and Journals

Finance & Current Events 

The New York Times

The Wall Street Journal 

Financial Times

The Economist 

Bloomberg

MIT Review

New Scientist 

Society 

Tatler 

Tatler Asia 

Vogue 

Town and Country 

Haper’s Bazzar 

I read others but this is already too long. Honestly the best way to learn is to just search. It really is easy. If you don't understand something, what I like to do is serach whatever the topic is but for dummies or add for kids at the end.

This next bit is for the anons who I know will come and ask me what to learn, I think that there is this obstentanious need to good at everything and learn about everything ever but that is not true. You are fully allowed to be beginner in a subject, you are allowed to only care about certain topics and you are allowed to drop what you are learning if you have had enough. There is no right and wrong and other people’s ditaction on what you should learn is not worthing listening to. There is no need to be a fully fledged Scholar on any subject matter. I think there is this push to learn about certain things because ‘they are better’ which in turn supposedly makes you better than everyone else. Bullshit and classist. Whilst they are good subjects to learn in their own manner-  learn about whatever niche thing you want to learn about. It is more refreshing  to listen to someone talking passionately about different types of Amphibians or wallpaper then it is to listen to the same route learnt rejuertated Art History blabber. Any knowledge is good knowledge and education is the one thing that will never fail you.

Stay educated,

Daphne xoxx

[daphnedauphinoise]

Hello Daphne!

How are you? I hope everything is alright. I was invited to an Apple interview for a job and I'm super nervous. What are some resources I could use to prepare?

Hello my love,

First of all congratulations and second of all, lets get into it.

What you need to take? What should you wear?

One of the best ways to combat nervousness is preparation. I am presuming your interview will either be face to face or online and I presume you know the setup. If you don't, learn asap. Look at how you will get there, on time, and check google maps to make sure you know where you are going. I would advise to turn up 30 minutes before your interview. If the building is big, you will need time to find the place and set yourself up. I like to arrive early, find my interviewing place and then go into the bathroom for final check. If the interview is online, make sure you know how to set up the meeting and you have taken measures to make sure you laptop/computer doesn't crash. Also make sure your microphone and camera works.

Prepare you bag, your outfit and your route in advance. Your interview request email should have the names of any documents or proof they require so pack those. Make sure you have a snack, water and mints or gum. And do all this a couple of days in advance.

Again, your interview request should say what they expect you to wear. If you are not sure, pop them an email and ask. What you wear to an interview is dependant on the company and the sector. You wouldn't wear bright colourful prints to a financial office interview as you would for an interview at your local indie art studio. It is always better to be smarter than it is to be casual though. Whatever you wear, make sure you feel good in it as well. Not all white blouses are made equally. I perfer to wear natural makeup and I still to minimal jewellery and clean nails for interviews.

On the day make sure you have some food in you. Listen to some hype music, pamper yourself the day before and even do a power pose for 30 secs to get you into that confidence zone. If you any specific anxities, google up solutions. Deep breathes and affirmations work wonders as well.

The ERIQ way

Your interview research is important. The only time I haven't recieved a job or a placement offer was when I was dragged after school to a 5* hotel for an interview and I was promptly rejected :) . Do not make this mistake I follow the ERIQ rule that I was taught.

The Employer

You need to research the business you are applying to and you need to know beyond the basics. This will demonstrate your interest in the company you are applying to. You need to know what kind of company are they? What have they achieved (major and recent) ? Who are their competitors ? What is the history of the company? What are the value and culture of the company? Any good employee would know this about the company and you want to show them that you are the best potential at being their good employee.

The Role

You need to understand your role. Go back to the job application form and look at the requirements. Make sure you actually do know everything they have asked for you to know. You need to make sure you understand exactly what they need from as a canditate so you can answer interview questions well. Being able to talk about your accomplishments and qualifications (What they are? How you got them? How they help you? etc) is crucial as interviewers want to whether you are a good fit or not. If you are not fully qualified, that is okay. Make sure to highlight your egarness to learn and maybe perhaps show that you have taken the initiative to fix your weak areas.

I want you this a step further. I want you to look into what the company's competitors require for their canditates. Cross check between various jobs and compare what they are all looking for. Make sure you know the ins and outs of your role. I like to write out make a spider-diagram for this. I reccomend you to do this more-so for your own benefit. By looking at various jobs you will not only see if your company is asking too much or too little but it gives an insight to other skills for your role that you can consider learning. I also like going on GlassDoor.com to check salaries and reviews left by previous employees.

The Interviwer

People like flattery and people like talking about themselves and people love being made feel important. Find out as much as you can about your interviewers and this will help create a postive impression of you. The email that asked you to come to the interview should have their names somewhere. Then hop onto LinkedIn and stalk look into them. Try and find as much as you can about them. The company websites usually have mini bios on their employee which can you read to find their personal and professional interests. You will use this information in your interview to get them to like you. Now you do not want to pander because that is messy and uncomfortable, everything you do has to sutble. For example, your interviewer John Apple-Smith asks you, 'When was the last time you were challegened?' but you know from your mini-detective work that John Apple-Smith really likes extreme sports.. it says so on the company website. So you wear a pensive look on your face, you will look slighty to the left ( that is where you look when you are thinking- body language 101 ) and after couple seconds pause you reply that 'last winter your friendship group held a mini winter olympics with where each week you guys would try out a new winter sport. Now you are very afraid of speed so freestyle skiing was very challenging ( Tip! When answering, use words from the question ) because you were very scared. You still haven't gotten over your fear but you did like it and you are looking forward to going up a little bit higher this winter :)'

The Questions

You will need to prepare how will you answer the questions and also equally important, you need to prepare questions for your interviewers. This tiktoker is really good with interview question prep. I highly suggest you look through his tiktoks and make notes. Make sure you have prepared for both generic questions like ' what are your strengths' and out of the blue questions like ' what would you pack for a universe trip?' . You can easily find company specific questions online as well, espcecially for a company is big as Apple. Just search what kind of questions will be asked and work on from there.

This stage is crucial because your interviwers are trying scope out if you are the kind of person they would enjoy working with and in general how would you be as a worker in the company. You will also be asked questions on your qualifications and your previous work related experiences.

You need to be prepare your own questions. As much as it is them interviewing you, by the time you leave that interview you should know whether you actually even want to work there. You can ask about salary or the after work culture.

Tip! Take time to digest the question and if you don't understand the question, be brave and ask for clarification! Let say John Apple-Smith asks you 'When was the last time you were challenged?' and you are not sure if he means in a work enviroment or in your personal life, ask!

If you are lacking confidence your uni/college or a employablity service should have people that can help you practice your interview techniques. If not, grab a friend and roleplay.

Making a good impression

Be on time! I cannot stress this enough. Be on time! Infact this is more for you than it is for the interview. Being late makes you feel panicky and you are more likely to be stressed and flustered.

Be polites and cordial. Be nice to everyone you meet as you enter the front door. Smile, make good contact and remember your manners.

Watch your body language. Straighten up your posture, hold you head high. When giving handshakes, make sure it a firm but gentle shake. Do not figdet and do not rush your words.

Keep your answers clear and concise. When asked about your personal life, stray away from gossip and any personal details. Don't go off on tangents and keep things simple.

After the interview

As soon as an interview finishes, I wap out my phone and type into my notes app how it went. I write down questions that took me off guard or questions I answered particularly well. I also note down what I thought of the company and if I would like to work there. On my way back home, I like to draft a thank you email which I send before 24 hrs after my interview.

There are only really three outcomes from an interview:

Acception - Yay! Congrats! Well done for getting in. Take some time before signing the job and make sure you can talk and clarified any issues like salary.

Rejection- In my head there is no rejection. I either get accpeted or I learn. Rejection is redirection. It is okay to be rejected. Send them a thank you email (again) and ask for feedback so you can imporve for your next interview.

Futher Steps- Usually the interview is the last step but for some companies they might ask for interview round 2 or test so prepare for those.

I really hope this helps. There is this masterlist as well if you need any more guidance and remember google is free. Search up any tiny questions you have, whatever pust you to ease. I hope it goes well for you, come back and tell us. You've got this babygirl!

Daphne xoxo

[daphnedauphinoise]

Do you happen to have any insights on preventing under eye creases. I’m literally 20 and have under eye creases so when I do my makeup it looks horrid. I swear I have researched/tried multiples creams and remedies. Just wondering if you have any insight on that?!?

Also thank you for your blog xx

Me too Anonie me too😔😔

Plumping your Under-Eye

I know that there is a lot of controversy about whether eye-care products work or not but I believe that it is better to be safe than sorry and that in 50 years time I rather that I spent money and time on my eyes then find that I have wrinkles I could have prevented. The key to maintain your under-eye is hydration. The skin around your eyes is thinner and more fragile. The skin your under-eyes do not have many oil glands and doesn’t produce a lot of collagen, hence it prone to drying out quicker and becoming more wrinkled. Long term neglect leads to the worsening of the fine lines and wrinkles around your eyes. So the solution is to prevent it from drying out using products which are hydrating to your under-eyes. 

Ingredients you want to look out for: hylauronic acid, ceramids, peptides and retinol. 

Hydrating Eye Creams

Neutrogena Hydro Boost Eye Cream  

Ole Henriksen Banana Bright Eye Crème

First Aid Beauty Thriple Hylauronic Acid Eye Cream 

Eye Creams with Retinol 

La Roche-Posay Redermic Eyes   

Elizabeth Arden Retinol Ceramide Line Erasing Eye Cream

The Inkey List Retinol Eye Cream 

Murad Targeted Wrinkle Corrector 

I love Murad products. They are what my estheticans use when I get my facials done and I am always happy with my results.I think Murad is one of those brands people find out once they start getting serious into skincare. Their wrinkle corrector went viral on tiktok for being magical and it is. I have used it in real life and it does do a fantastic job of filling in and smoothing out the wrinkles real time. It is pricy but I think if you are only using it before you put your makeup on and use other products daily, the price is well worth it.

Eye Patches 

Peter Roth Hydrating Eye Patches

Cosrx Snail Eye Patches 

Pixie  FortifEYE Firming Eye Patches

Eye Patches with Micro-Needles

(mirconeedles explained)

Vice Reversa Eye Rejuvenator 

Skyn Iceland Dissolving Needle Eye Patches

It is important to remember that no one products is going to solve any problem and it is overall routine and the habit of using your routine that will change your skin. And obviously, drink water!

Treatments

Microneedling ££ - Microneedling works by increasing the collagen production in the area, which helps add the lost volume back and smoothing the surroudning area out. Prices can depend and it is something you will have to carry out to maintain. I know people do mirconeedling at home but I am of the opinion that any penetrative procedures should be done by a certified professional. The cost of mucking it up when you do it yourself is too high, especially since it your eye area. 

CO2 Laser £££ -  CO2 lasers work by beaming off your epidermis (thin outer layer) and heating up your dermis (next layer of skin). This way new collagen fibres are stimulated and as the skin heals it looks smoother, tighter and clearer. CO2 lasers cost much more, which is understandable, but it is a one off procedure and it is permenant.

Botox or Filler ££ - I feel like if you are on here you know how Botox and filler would work but if you don’t; Botox works by immobilising your muscles so they don’t contract. In that sense it is more preventative (there is no actual need for 20 years to do this though btw) but it does help with the appearence with the wrinkles. Fillers fill in the lines and smooth out your skin. Neither botox or fillers are permenant and require topping up depending on volume and type injected. I highly highly imperative advise you to go to a certified, well known professional. This is non-negotiable unless you want to endanger your health and fuck up your face. I know it sounds dramatic but I know of too many horror stories. 

Makeup 

I know the pain of makeup creasing under your eyes. Unfortunately, everyone goes through it. BUT in saying that there is no reason for excess suffrage and there are ways for you help your makeup set in a way that it doesn’t crease.There are the basic steps such as wearing a good hydrating cream before hand. I recently found this youtuber and she is god-send. She has this amazing video up on her technique and it looks so good. 

Thank you for your ask,

Daphne xox

[daphnedauphinoise]

could you make a post on how you make your bare nails look beautiful and manicured? my nails react terribly to polish. thanks!

Hello 💙

Not going to lie, I was lowkey waiting for someone to ask. My nails and I have always gotten well together. I do take pride in them as my natural nails tend to bring a lot compliments in. In high school, the girls and guys would hold my hands and turn it just to see my nails shine in the light and having nice nails has always been a ‘Daphne thing’. 

Cuticle Removal

Sally Hansen Cuticle Care

Nail Care Set  

Cuticle removal is a new territory for me. My cuticles have always passed the scrunity of nail artists and I consider having naturally nice cuticles as one of my top 10 traits. Nonetheless, my feet do need an extra help and Sally Hansen’s gel is the easiest thing to use. I do not trust myself with cuticle clippers at all so chemical removers are my go to. A little squezze, 15 seconds wait and a little push and you are done !! When I am doing my hands, I like to dip my hands in warm/hot water to soften my cuticles up. Do be careful because the Lye (the chemical that does the dissolving in cuticle removers) has no preference between dead skin and live skin. 

I recently purchased the nail care set just because I needed the silver tools you see, and oh my goodness, best purchase ever!!! I don’t really use the first tool on the left but the middle and the right ones are my holy grails. The tip of the middle one to get rid of the dead, hard skin on the either sides of your fingernails.I have never liked the feel of the coarser skin but I didn’t know there was a solution for this. The bottom of the same tool is to scrape built up gunk from underneath your nails. The right tool has a cuticle scraper and a pusher. 

I wouldn’t reccomend removing your cuticles too often, so maybe once a week. What I do and have done since I was a child is push back my cuticles gently using my own nails which is the cheapest alternative to everything.

Cuticle Oils and Butters 

Burt’s Bees Lemon Butter Cuticle Cream 

Dior Creme Apricot 

Onsen Cuticle oil 

It is important to keep your cuticles soft as dry or cracked cuticles are an opening to bacteria. I religiously apply cuticle oil/cream; I keep one at my desk, one in my bedside table and one in every bag. I have been using Burt’s Bees one for ages and it works well. To be honest, you can just use Jojoba oil ( a must have!) as it has the smallest oil molecules and acts the most like our natural skin oils. It has lots of uses and is relativelty cheap, so if you are on a budget just get Jojoba oil instead of all the fancy ones.  Dior Creme is a cult favourite and I love it too. The packaging is so so pretty and it is just so luxurious; but in saying that the formula is tacky and you have to use your hands to get the product out because there is no applicator. For this reason I like to leave it at my bedside table. The cuticle pen is just easy to carry around.

Buffing 

4 Way Buffing Block 

This is Daphne’s holy grail. Along with cuticle care, buffing is part of my religion I discovered these 4 way buffing blocks years back and it has been a staple since. It is my ‘If I stuck on a desert island I would take...’. It is so so simple to use and it leaves your nails SHINNY!  The blocks comes numbered and you just buff each nail with each side for 10 seconds and voila! Best nails ever! It is is so simple, it is rude not to have one. This is perfect to get that hand model worthy shiny nails without using nail polish. It is low maintanece and you only need to do it once a week. I used to have girls flock to my hands in high school and they oogle my nails with oohs and ahhhs. So I started to carry extra blocks so I could show the girls what to do and I would do it for them and leave the block for them as a gift. I cannot live without these. I would highly reccomend to buy them off Aliexpress for cheaper and in bluk so you can replace it after 3-4 uses. 

Routine

I am a big fan of routines and I have a routine for everything, once a week I like to take an hour out to do them. I start off with the Sally Hansen Cuticle remover and get rid of excess dead skin. Then I like to buff my nails with the Buffing block. I trim my nails into a short square top which suits my hands the best. I like to go in with a cucticle oil or cream and rub it in circular motions. As much as I love nail art and big sparkly gems, I need to keep my nails short and clean for climbing, piano and archery. This also means that my nails have been breaking off due to excess pressure and stress as of lately; so because of the recent changes I have had to reintroduce a couple things for Winter. I reintroduced nail hardners because climbing does a number on your nails, no matter how short you trim them.Otherwise, I also love the Dior Nail glow which leaves a pretty pink hue to you nails which makes them look so healthy and glowly. The first time I had them on in one of snap stories, the amount of swipe ups I got was insane. It is pricey so I like to gift them to my friends so their nails can twinkle and catch the light in the most beautiful ways. 

Also remember, nail health is also largely dependent on you general health. If your general health lacking and you are dull beacause of so, no amount buffing is going to change that. So with like everything, get a varied diet, drink plently of water and make sure you are not lacking vitamins and minerals. 

Other Nail Care Favourites:

SUSANNE KAUFMANNNourishing Nail Oil 

Eveline Cosmetics Diamond Nail Conditioner 

Sally Hansen Nail Hardner 

Mavala Swizterland Nail Hardner 

Sally Hansen Nail Growth Miracle 

Dior Nail Glow

Daphne xoxo

[daphnedauphinoise]

Do rich men like women who wear makeup and dress up? I love wearing bold lips and eye liner looks but I worry that men don't like that

Babe, please do you DO what you want to do. There are a bazillion different types of rich men, I can guarantee that you will find some that don't care, some that will love you for it and some who will even want to learn more. If, from the get go, a man is controlling about your own eyelids then he is just not worth it. Dulling your personality, smoothing your boldness in favour for something that is digestable is not going to benefit you in the long run, especially not when you are trying to find a life partner. Trying to be everyone's version of agreeable is a great burden to take on and an unnecessary one at that too. Also why do you as a human being have to give up your great joys (unharmful) for another human being? Why do you have to stop your hobby, you passion, your happiness because they don't like colours? If this man was to be worthy of you, he would recognise the artistry behind your makeup looks, the patience, the learning, the hand stability, the understanding of art. If those snobby rich people claim to be able to recognise art in a gallery then they should be able to recognise it one somebody's face don't you think ?

Wear your glitter eyeshadows and cream liner, wear your Ruby Woo and Pillow Talk. Be bold, be small I don't care as long as you are being you.

[daphnedauphinoise]

A tiktok you agree with?

I agree with pretty much everything. I am pretty no bullshit person and I do not like wasting time when it comes to men. I am also very harsh in my judgment of men I don't know i.e if the first impression is bad, it is bad. I don't think anyone who wants to be serious in relationships should be wasting time by going to meaningless dates. Stay safe, ladies.

[daphnedauphinoise]

Something you need other people to realise ?

That it is up to give yourself the best life. It is a conscience decision to choose yourself and choose to live a good life. I believe in re-incarnation but I also believe that you get one shot. It is a genuine waste not to live to your healthiest, happiest and brighest. It is your responsibility to give yourself all the advantages that you can give yourself. No-one can give you as half as much as you can give yourself. I know so many people who complain that they do not live and they simply exist but they never do anything to change their predicament. They get bogged down with horrible things that go on in the far corners of the world but cannot find it in themselves to get out of the front door and just look at all the good things. Cultivate yourself. You are all that you truly have had and the one thing you will have on your death-bed. You deserve to have a good life but frankly that will not happen if you do not get up and start changing things with that goal in mind. The only thing you get by not trying is life filled with regret and untapped potential, whereas if you tried at least you will that much closer to your end goals and that much closer to the life you want to live. I know for sure that I would like to be on the pyre with the knowledge that I tried and I lived a life worth living.

[daphnedauphinoise]

If you have time, can you make a post about which kinds of groups you think a person should join?

Three things: Find groups for interests you have. Do your research. Take the first step

If you live in a patriotic country, your first hobbies should be your national sport, playing your national instrument and whatever other things that are national. People eat that right up. A lot of the people who have been rich for a very long time really value traditions, so you want to be able to have that advantage. I do believe that even if you are not patriotic it is still important to know the ins and outs of your culture. Learn about your history, the arts and the land of where you live. Find out if your museums and galleries have memberships or clubs that you have be part of. This is one of the ways to get invited to the galas and dinner, galleries host. If you have extra money, becoming a patron of your theatres is also a really great way to meet people. Art of all forms is highly respected in the upper society. I would really think about picking up something artistic.

Joining a sports club is a great way of keeping healthy and making those connections. If you are in uni or college (especially a Russel Group one), join a sports club.  The sports I recommend for people in the UK is hockey, tennis, golf, cricket, lacrosse, and rowing. It doesn’t exclusively have to be this, do your own research into what is happening is popular among the rich of your city and sign up.  You have to do your own research. This is so important. Google your city, search what kind of money crowd you have, create your own city guide. I am in the process of making a guide for my home city and I wish I had done it sooner.

However, it is important to stay true to your own likes and dislikes. It is so boring when you force yourself to do something you don’t want to do or try to fit in that way. People are very good at sussing out whether you are a fraud or not and once they do, they are not fond of second chances. You want to make sure that you are having fun in your journey and life in general. One of my tips is whatever you do, do it in the nicer part of the city. The chances of you meeting the ‘correct’ people is dependent on whether if you are in the right place. Let’s be honest, are your trust fund babies going to be hanging out for longer than to make their tiktoks in the shady part of town? No. You have to be prepared to travel and put effort in if you want to get what you want. That pottery class filled with potential benefactors, future bridesmaids and future in laws will an extra 3-6 miles away, do it.  The thing I have noticed about rich people is that they value the word of mouth. Once you start mingling and integrating with their people , word gets around and suddenly your now invited to things you didn’t even happened.

I feel like a lot of people who will read this won’t even take the first step. You need to get out and make yourself known. Like I said once you start appearing more in society, you will find it much easier to be noticed. I have horrible anxiety and I look like a pirate walking the plank in a cartoon whenever I am around new people but you just have to do it. Arm yourself with your coping mechnisms and starting expanding your comfort zone. 

Much love,

Daphne xox

[daphnedauphinoise]

[daphnedauphinoise]

I am socially awkward I feel out of place a lot... do you have tips for that? OH and I took your tip about Eventbrite and today I went to an event but there were only men in their 30s and 40s LMAO

Unfortunately it is just a matter of putting yourself out there. But I think I have a few things I could help with.

1. I heard this quote "things are only as embarrassing as you think they are" and it made me reflect a bit. I was in an 'awkward' situation with my Uber driver some time ago and the oddness of the drive was making nervous. I started working myself up and for what ? Nothing. There was nothing awkward going on. I think it is important to remind yourself to get out of your own head in social situations. You are not actively present when you live in your head and you won't be able to fully participate with what is going on in your surroundings. We think of ourselves as worse when in reality there is nothing embarrassing or awkward happening. And if embarrassing or awkward, tell yourself otherwise. Your brain is very good at being delusional after it has been told something many times so use ghat to your advantage.

2. Speaking of silence, I think we tend to think of silence as a social enemy, but I think when we try to remedy the silence and we turn frantic-we do the damage then. Silence is better than a rushed comment, a sudden change of conversation, interrupting, a bad joke that doesn't reflect the person you are talking to. I don't think silence as a void or something empty. I think learning to view silence in conversation as a progression is better for oneself. Take the silence as an opportunity to observe your group and surroundings. Think over what has just been said.

3. In saying that, if you are out of depth in a conversation, just keep to being quiet. People don't care if you are quiet during a conversation but if you risk trying to sound smart by saying the wrong thing, they will mind and they will remember. Whenever I am in conversations where I am out of my depth I just stay silent. I tell myself it is not awkward that I am silent, I am listening and I am paying attention. And if someone does ask, an honest 'oh sorry, I don't know much about the topic' goes a long way. People are more than happy to introduce you to the topic or give you a mini crash course.

4. Don't over-think a conversation. Just go with the flow of what is on your mind and give too much thought if it is correct or not. Of course, it should not be offensive or anything. This one takes practice but you will be fine. Overanalysing is a root of social anxiety and awkwardness so just stop your brain for a while.

5. Listen for the sake of listening and not responding. Like what I said a out jumping to clear a silence, listening to respond just makes you anxious and prone to social mistakes. It takes the pressure off you to respond so when you do have to respond, something natural and befitting the conversation will come out.

6. Social cues. A lot people just miss them. I know if you have certain health conditions, it is harder for you to pick up on these things so I highly suggest to take time and actively learn. Whatever works for you, use that tool to help you learn. Literally just google how to act in certain situations. I do it all the time.

7. You are not as awkward as you think. It is okay even if you are.

I don't even know if this makes sense but hope it helps!! And omg! What event did you go to 😭😭 i hope it was still fruitful in someways and you had fun!!

Much love,

Daphne xoxo